#i have negative a million spoons

[altarfates]

hoping and praying that they do a med review for me this week and i can actually sleep for more than four hours again it's been two weeks i am actively perishing.

[painsandconfusion]

Writers, here’s your reminder that you should be doing warm-ups!

Athletes need to warm up. Musicians need to warm up. Artists need to warm up. Heck, I even have to play a few matches in video games before I get into a groove every day.

Warm-ups help you get into the right headspace, give you more control of your actions and word choice, get you comfortable in your physical setting (eg: with your keyboard, notebook, tablet, or whatever you're writing with), and spark creativity.

Even if you don’t think you have spoons to write, sit down and do a couple warm-ups. If you still don’t want to, that’s alright. But. I think you’ll be surprised how often they help break that ice.

5-15 minutes is all you need. I personally set a timer for ten minutes each time and do not stop writing until the time is up. Your warm-up can be anything at all so long as it gets you writing and starts nudging those creative juices.

Here's some common warm-ups:

Journaling. Just jot down some notes about your day. Feel free to really lean into something that you noticed. We're going for description and details -- try to avoid settling into a spiral or focusing on something negative that will upset your creativity.

Short story prompts. Type that into Pinterest and pick the most ridiculous, cliche thing you can. Write a little scene, story summary, or even a rant about why you do or don't like the prompt. Just write.

Vocab challenge. If you like a bit more critical thinking to get you in the zone, have a random vocabulary word generator spit out five or so words. Check their meanings and jot down a little story or thought that includes all five. You get more familiar with beautiful and descriptive language, and it gives you a much narrowed prompt (which is lovely if you're like me and suffer each time there's an open-ended task assigned).

Character moments. Try putting your character into a generic setting and write down almost meticulously what their thought process would be. Follow them realizing they've just stepped in mud or dreading the start of the day. Pick a mundane thing and describe them working through it. This will not only get your writing going, but it will wake up the character's voice in your head.

Ongoing storytelling. Did you know that Whinnie the Poo was A.A. Milne's warm up story? He would jot down a quick little story with those very basic characters and did so every day. Whatever came to mind. He kept writing little tidbits on the same characters and eventually it turned into a series. Having that ongoing plot with isolated scenes and simple characters can help you feel more motivated to sit down and write.

Get-to-know-you-questions. Google a list of basic first-date questions (there are a million out there) and answer one yourself. Go into specifics. Where do you most want to travel and why? Let yourself ramble until the question is fully answered.

Writer's block blues. This is a favorite of mine. If you're truly stuck, write about being stuck. Eg: 'I'm supposed to write for ten minutse, but that feels so stupid and impossible. No one is goign to read this anyway. I have no ideas and the page is so overwhelming when its blank. I used to be able to write on and on and nothing could stop me. it was like breathing. but now I have nothign and do nothing and I can't even do a stupid prompt-' Even the rambling and ranting got me writing. It made things easier. It made writing this post easier. Also -- notice the typos? Yeah, don't fix those. You're in writing mode, not editing mode when you're doing this. If you edit while you write, you're forcing yourself to stay in your executive and calculating headspace rather than falling fully into creativity and dream. Ignore the mistakes. That's for future you to handle.

I've officially rambled far too much, but I hope that helps even a little bit. Live well and write often, my friends. Best of luck to you <3

[coughloop]

Twilight: she likes to think of herself as the most sophisticated stoner and she loved to smoke before reading a long letter or writing analytic prose about the migration patterns of different seabirds. I think she would smoke a long pipe, hand crafted made of wood that Celestia gave tk her as a parting gift when she moved to ponyville. It kinda sucks and it's basically just a spoon pipe but long and made of crystal wood that doesn't do anything but when you smoke through it it sparkles and shines so she loves and takes good care of it only buys top shelf premium ounces to smoke through it cause she thinks that what Celestia had in mind when she gave it to her

Pinkie pie: do to her insane tolerance after years of edible usage pinkie basically starts every day by eating 10 or so 20ng edibles and she doesn't even feel it but it's like a delicious treat and she basically just macro doses edibles all day long and it tastes so good she loves the taste of weed she loves it

Rarity: she is always changing up with whatever she's smoking out of. she has a room where she predicts the current trend of whats hot to use and whats not and is always following the latest designer smoking fashions but secretly her favourite is gravity bong but she would never admit and she hides it away behind like a million aromas and perfumes but believe me she has one terrible homemade gravity bong she loves more than anything in the world

Fluttershy: her animal friends use their more dexterous paws and prehensile tails to roll little joints for her and she smokes them like cigarettes she never litters the filters though she is very careful to never ash anywhere but directly into her tray and smokes on the roof outside so the smoke cant harm anything she lets Angel take a hit thoough cause he can handle it but he always hogs cause hes a jerk and im getting mad thinking about it

applejack: as grassroots as possible, simple ground herb smoked out oof whatevers available. granny taught her how to pack a bowl with apple seeds mixed in to give it an extra kick and she and big mac chill the fuck ouot every night with a rustic bong made of aluminum with lead paint on the outside but those dont have negative affects for horses so its fine and she lives a long and healthy life like all smokas should

rainbow dash: shes been buying straight oregano for years and still has no idea. she doesnt listen when anyone tries to tell her

[yandere-paramour]

Chapter 2

"Darling, please calm down. You are still disoriented from your medicine and I do not want you to get hurt."

You froze. Did you just hear that? No way you just heard that. Clearly, something had happened earlier. Maybe this was an incredibly real hallucination. You hoped it was a hallucination.

“Hello, love. It is good to see you awake. I was about to be very, very upset with my hired hand,” The voice spoke again.

It took a little longer than you’d ever admit, but soon you successfully turned your head to your right. Even though you knew something was wrong, knew you were somehow in peril, it made you feel better that that voice was female. She was big, though; you couldn’t quite tell because she was sitting with her legs crossed, but you were pretty sure she was tall. Her body was lean, and although it was covered with her expertly tailored blue-grey suit, you suspected she had considerable muscle. Hazel eyes stared back at you with fondness as she tapped a spoon on the edge of her teacup. Her hair was brown, with those effortless curls you always found yourself attracted to. Unintentionally, you blushed. Had you… slept with this goddess?

You opened your mouth to say something, an apology, a question, a request for help, but she held up a hand, gave you a gentle smile with perfectly straight teeth, and set down her empty cup, “I am so sorry, Darling. I know this must be really frightening for you, but I need you to stay calm. I am not going to hurt you. Now, I did this earlier, but I need to check you over. The medicine you had was strong, so I want to make sure you’re okay.”

She crosses the room and leans over you, still whispering soft words to mollify you. She checks your pulse on your limp wrist, timing it to her watch, then softly pushes your hair back to look into your eyes, “Are you feeling dizzy at all? Nauseous?”

“I-I have a headache. And I’m dizzy.” You manage to say. Your tongue feels like it’s made of lead. A million questions run through your head. Were you drugged? How did you get here? Were you at a bar? Did you sleep together? Why can’t you move?

She frowns, the cupid’s bow of her mouth forming a lovely little pout, “That’s not good. I promise, I will give you some pain relief right after we have a talk. I do not like to see you suffer. You’re going to be on this medicine for a few days so I want you to be comfortable.”

A bit of dread rises in you, “What medication am I on?”

“Just something to help you relax, and only for a few days until you get acclimated.”

“Did you… drug me?”

“I did not do it myself per se, but I did arrange for it to happen. Worry not, I consulted with my personal physician about your medical history to make sure you would not have any negative reactions. I would never make you take anything that would hurt you.”

“Who are you and where am I,” You want to sound forceful but the drug still has its claws in you like an angry tiger.

She gives you another adoring smile, “You are right, I should have introduced myself right when you woke. I am Atalanta Montclair.”

“Atalanta Montclair?” It takes a second for your brain to place the name but it hits you like a bolt of lightning, “You mean the heir to Montclair Industries?”

She looks pleased that you’ve heard of her, “Yes, that is I.”

Horror causes stupid words to flow out of your mouth, “I slept with my boss???”

“No, sweetheart. My hired hands gave you a little of your medicine in apple juice, then safely transported you to my penthouse. I changed your clothes myself; I did not want you to sleep in that uncomfortable uniform. I promise, there was nothing untoward in my actions.”

Despite her words, your alarm only grows, “You kidnapped me?”

“I had you safely transported to your new life with me, Darling. This is now our penthouse apartment, your new home. More precisely, this is the master bedroom, our bedroom together.”

“M-My new life with you? What does that mean?” Thoughts of the worst cloud your mind, “In your bedroom, as your… your sex slave?”

“No!” She says sharply, then catches herself and returns to her poised countenance, “You are my precious Darling, the only one I love and the only one I will ever love. I am devoted to you and you alone. You will be my companion, my partner, the most precious person in my life, and, when you’re ready, my lover.”

“Your lover?” You can’t even form words of your own at this point.

“Yes, my love,” She takes and kisses the back of your limp hand, kneeling at the bedside, “You have my word that nothing will harm you here. I will never touch you sexually until you ask for it.

“You fucking kidnapped me?” You jerk your hand away from her.

She looks shocked at your language, “You would not have agreed to come with me otherwise. I had you very safely transported. I spared no expense for your safety.”

You push yourself into sitting up by sheer force of will, “But you fucking kidnapped me? I don’t even know you.” “But I want to,” She tries to grab your hand again, “I want to learn everything about you, my Darling. Just give me the chance.”

“No!” You swing your legs over the side of the bed, narrowly missing kicking her.

You try to push yourself to your feet, but your legs are still wobbly, and you collapse under your own weight, plummeting to the ground. But Atalanta is in the way, and she catches you. You were right; she is tall. She is at least six feet, giving her seven inches over you. She holds you in her arms, not helping you back on the bed or letting you fall, just what feels like… cuddling you.

“Darling, your hair is so soft. I touched it when you were sleeping but now that you’re awake to give me your permission, it feels exponentially better,” She nuzzles her face into your hair.

“I do not give you permission!” you squeak, appalled at the sudden intimacy. You try to push her away from you, but she cuddles you a little longer, then sets your unsteady form on the bed.

“My apologies, Darling, you are just so irresistible. I will be more respecting of your consent in the future,” She at least has the decency to look chastised.

“The future? How long am I staying here?”

She gives you a confused smile, “Forever, sweet girl. I will never, ever let you go. Now, it is approaching dinner time. May I get something for you to eat?”

You look at her like she is insane (which she is). How the fuck are you supposed to sit at a table and eat your vegetables with the hot woman who kidnapped you?

“Atalanta, please let me go. I don’t have a lot of money, but I can give you whatever you want. I don’t want to be stuck in this room forever. Please, please let me go,” You babble, begging her to come to her senses and hear you out.

An anxiety attack starts to overwhelm you until you are trembling. Atalanta lightly shushes you, using one hand to stroke your hair, “Settle down, love. I’ve got you, and you are safe. Take a deep breath.”

This only makes you want to fight harder, trying to push her away with your shaky arms. She grabs your hands, pressing kisses to the backs of them while keeping them firmly in her hold.

“I promise, my princess, you will never want for anything again. I’ll take care of you. I have enough money for the both of us to live comfortably forever,” She gives a quick kiss to your forehead, “And I would never keep you locked away. A beautiful flower like you deserves a chance to grow.”

She kisses your head again and continues, “You can access the top two floors of the building, those I use for my living space, now our living space. No space is off limits to you, my love. For a little while, you will be restricted to the penthouse unless I am with you, but once you’re a little more settled, we can discuss short trips out by yourself. I have been dreaming of taking you to the theatre, and maybe in a year, we will be able to go.”

“A year?” You screech, floored.

To my credit, she does flinch back from my scream, “Careful, Darling girl, I will not discipline you while you are on your medicine, but that does not mean you will escape punishment later.”

This sufficiently scares you into lowering the volume, “Discipline me?”

She looks vaguely uncomfortable, but pats your head, “I have two punishments in mind, but let’s not get into those until necessary, okay? I want our first night together to be pleasant. Now, back to my earlier question, what may I order for you to eat? Anything you like, sweetheart, just ask. Or I can cook for you if you prefer. I am no chef but I can make simple things.”

[madewithheart]

Five Years (a poem about long COVID)

Five years of

negative tests and inconclusive results

sub-clinical symptoms and no diagnosis

"well if you never had a positive covid test it doesn't count"

it doesn't matter that I was in the first wave

there were no tests for me when I needed one,

when the hospitals overflowed

five years

of doctors' shrugs and being called lazy

of bad advice and victim blaming

five years

of pushing through it and crashing and false hope

five years

of "it's just deconditioning; exercise until you hurt yourself"

Five years of

But you don't LOOK sick

Five years of

Sorry, we can't give you "special treatment"

Five years of

your support needs are too much for me

Five years of

forcing myself to care for others and neglect myself

Five years of

being too disabled to work full time

but not disabled enough for my needs to be acknowledged

not disabled enough for people to care

Five years...

of invisible illness half the country doesn't believe in,

and still more do not understand.

Five years of being one of

400 million people worldwide.

and one in 19 US adults.

but still having to fight for accommodations.

Five years of

i saved my spoons all week for these five minutes

Five years of

every time I stand up I become a fall risk

as my blood pressure drops

and the world spins kaleidoscope around me

Five years of

I sleep ten hours most nights now

Five years of

I spend good days on the couch,

and bad ones chained to my bed

Five years of

Crocheting and reading are too difficult for my brain

So I don't get the luxury of hobbies anymore

Five years of

10.1% of people who catch covid the first time get this

and 90% of those patients "only had mild infections" like me

but there's nothing you can do to prevent it

Five years

of never drawing a full breath again

five years

of aches and pains and exhaustion

five years

of every new illness making my baseline drop

and no one being able to tell me why

five years

of getting worse, not better, with every passing month

five years

of forcing myself through one more day, task, shift, meal when I wanted to cry

Five years

of feeling my body fall apart under me

but not having any way to stop it

five years...

five years...

five years....

[switch to AAC]

Some days, even talking costs more energy than I have.

6% of patients ever reach anything close to remission or recovery.

94% don't.

There is no cure to fix me.

I'm scared.

[switch back to voice]

Get your shots.

Covid isn't over.

[stupendousfoxthing]

I want to share a post making the rounds that made a lot of great points, but op dismisses the idea of any romantic relationships existing between any two members of the group in the replies. I will never be down with the "no ships are real" crowd because I can't think of a single valid (non-homophobic) reason to think a romance between two men is impossible. A romantic relationship between two people who met when they were young, worked and lived together for the better part of a decade, and enjoyed each other's company so much that when given the opportunity to build lives separate from that work STILL chose each other makes more sense than a lot of other things people will accept as perfectly reasonable (if it's a man and a woman of course). But the homophobia is just one layer to their dismissal, and the post hit on several others. There are so many layers to the shitty way this fandom treats Taekook and Taekookers. The video I shared earlier from an anon tells it like it is. Taekookers are not delusional to believe it's possible there is something there. No matter what antis would like you to believe, they are not literally brothers. Saying they are brothers is literally delusional (believing something is true when there is evidence to the contrary). There is a pattern of suspicious behavior going back years and only intensifying during solo era. I've talked about this before, but during the frenzy over the Dream premiere last year I saw something I thought was funny. I saw two people on Twitter talking about it, talking about Taekook fondly, and saying they felt like it had been a million years since they had seen them together. I realized then that they had no idea about all of the things that had happened with Taekook in the months prior to that. I started to wonder if we get called delusional just because people really do only pay attention to what is laid out in front of them, mostly in official content. Like...yeah, we probably do look delusional if you don't know about 95% of the things that have happened. This would tie back into how the fandom sees Tae as well, and why he is treated like an outsider. If you've been in the fandom for a while, you know how people who go against the company narrative in any way are treated. Tae does go against that narrative. He has talked about the more negative aspects of their position openly more than any other member. Why was he allowed to hint that things aren't all rosy between him and the company in the recent documentary? Look at how the fandom treats those who go against the company, and you will know. Taekook as a ship has a unique ability to create a perfect storm of animosity in this particular fandom that literally has training materials and guidelines written up for "baby ARMY". Layers. Homophobia. Company loyalty over everything. The spoon-fed narratives. The "outsider" and the "privileged" one dating? But they're awkward brothers... Taekookers get treated like monsters, no other group even comes close and it isn't because we're "shippers". I see evidence of that everyday. Other ships/shippers within the group have a free pass to do whatever they want. The fandom loves Namkook, for instance. You can openly romanticize/sexualize them and the fandom eats it up. Tons of people showed their ass with Tae/IU as well. It's not shipping that bothers them. It's Taekook. Taekook challenges what they've been led to believe. Taekookers shine a light on it and celebrate it. That's what pisses people off, and I do believe that when they actually look at Taekook they see it too. We bring something that makes them uncomfortable to their attention, something they'd rather not see or acknowledge. When a Taekook "moment" happens and we haven't even said anything yet but people are already bitching about the fact they can't enjoy it because they know Taekookers will be happy and celebrating? It's not us. It's Taekook as a pair that bothers them.

[tumbling-through-deepspace]

The Hunter, a baby and the unexpected forming of family in unlikely places: Chapter Five

Chapter Summary: Everyone, old and new wants a piece of Lyssa.

AN: The song in this chapter is called Promises by Savage Garden. This chapter should have been finished and uploaded on Sunday, but I have a terrible cold that has knocked me on my ass. I didn't get to write all I wanted for this chapter, so it's a bit short. I'll be writing more next chapter. Hopefully I'll be fully recovered by this weekend.

Word Count: 1384 words

Eventual Relationships: Xavier/MC/Rafayel

Zayne/Sylus/Lyssa

Chapter Five: There's a time to play the king and a time to be a thief

The transition from Linkon city to where they are now was smooth and Lyssa was grateful. Growing up after the introduction to Wanderers fourteen years ago, instability wasn’t something she liked. So, being able to provide that to someone else, gave her a warm sense of accomplishment.

Ella loved the bungalow, especially the garden. The pair spent most of their time outdoors; the birds adored the chick, and the feeling of peace was riveting.

However, why for the past few days, did she feel like she was being watched? It wasn’t the presence of a human nor was it a wanderer; there was also no malice or negative aura in the air— no, it was just something there that came and went at any moment.

Others would be nervous or concerned but she wasn’t. When they decide to stop hiding, then she would deal with it. What was important was little Ella not being in any danger.

The little girl was more expressive and outgoing in the new environment. She was babbling more, crawling around a lot and overall happy. Lyssa tried not to make her mind wonder what her daughter’s earlier introduction to life was.

“No sweetheart, that’s not for your mouth.”

She quickly but carefully took a wooden spoon from her hand and replaced it with a teething ring. Ella gave the ring one look and chucked it away, giving Lyssa the most annoyed expression a 7-month-old could make.

The hunter had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop from laughing “I’m sorry but that is not for your mouth. That is what the teething ring is for.”

Little Ella gives a shout followed by heated babbling. Lyssa raised a brow “I think it is too early for you to be arguing with me young lady.”

This prompted another shout, hands flaring around and finally a full-blown tantrum. Sighing, Lyssa sat up gently picking up the screaming chick and started humming.

“I know honey but it’s not baby friendly. I know, how about I sing you a song. It’s a classic and a personal favorite of mine.”

Little Ella heard the word singing and stopped her screaming for a few seconds before starting again.

Well don't you know I need a little indulgence? Listen to the hunter becoming hunted Every day there's a million advances Don't be too forceful you'll ruin your chances

Big tear-filled eyes looked up at her mama, the screaming decreasing line by line.

Well don't you know that time is a broken glass That splinters against the wall? But the picture is coming back now, baby And I want to take it all

Lyssa started swaying lightly, patting Ella’s back to the beat of the song

Don't go making all these promises you know you cannot keep There's a time to play the king and a time to be a thief 'Cause if you're making all these promises you know you cannot keep You know time will be the thief and your fallen king will end up alone

At this point, the little one had calmed down and started babbling. Lyssa smiled and stopped singing.

“There we go, pretty girl. Much better. Let’s go inside and I’ll make you a bottle then read a book.”

Jasmin sat at her desk putting the finishing touches on her report. The past few days have been hectic between missions, planning to enter the N109 zone and dealing with her own demons.

Her eyes glanced over to the adjacent desk that was empty, and she couldn’t stop the frown that formed on her face.

Not having Lyssa around felt weird; the two may not be partners but the woman was a constant presence with her sarcastic way of speaking and dark humor. It baffled her when Captain Jenna announced to the team that Lyssa was on a disclosed assignment that would have her away from the Association for a while.

She had so many questions but wasn’t able to get any answers. Next, she thought about Zayne, her childhood friend who didn’t want to admit he had a crush on the woman and was disappointed when he returned to her apartment to find out she was no longer there. The man sulked for a week because of it.

Her phone was still switched off, so there was no way anyone could get a hold of her. Jasmin sighed, leaning back in her chair. The whole situation left her confused.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Looking up she made eye contact with her field partner and friend Xavier. Now this was another individual who had her mind asking a ton of questions with no answers in sight.

Xavier was an enigma, and Jasmin was slowly learning to leave some things be especially when it comes to him. It prevented a ton of headaches.

“Hey Xavier. Oh, nothing is wrong per say. I was just thinking about Lyssa that’s all.”

“That’s the girl that occupies that empty desk, right? Is she alright? Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“I can assume she’s okay. Right, you weren’t here for the announcement… Lyssa was assigned a mission that will have her away from the Association for quite some time.”

Xavier studied her for a bit “I’m sensing it's something more than that?”

She nodded “My gut tells me that it is, but I don’t know how to find out more without raising suspicion. It’s not normal for Lyssa to just vanish like that.”

“I won’t mind helping you find out where she went.”

Jasmin blinked in surprise, clearly not expecting the offer “You won’t mind? I know you’re busy most days, I wouldn’t want to impose on your time.”

“It’s alright, I would not have offered if I didn’t intend to help.”

“Thank you, Xavier.”

A young woman entered Asko Hospital; a smile planted on her face as she greeted the nurse at the station, whose name was Yvonne based on her badge. The nurse quickly checked and confirmed her appointment and directed her to the Doctor’s office.

Humming as she walked down the hallways, thinking of the reaction she would get for the shit she was about to pull. Mischief was such a delicious pastime.

The Doctor’s office came into view, and she rapped on the door. A voice called out to enter which she did.

The sight of the doctor sitting at his desk made her bite the side of her cheek to stop the feral grin from coming on her face.

“Hello Dr. Zayne, it’s very nice to meet you.”

Yes, very nice indeed.

A mechanical crow sat perched on a metal stand, brooding and ignoring its person.

A man with red eyes sat behind his desk observing the bird. Ever since they returned from a mission weeks ago, the crow was in a mood.

What was puzzling about the situation was the presence of foreign Evol still present in the bird's body.

“Mephisto.”

The crow in question, gave a side eye and continued ignoring the man.

“You have been in this mood for far longer than the norm. What aren’t you telling me?”

Mephisto wasn’t in the mood to share. The human woman he crashed into was a puzzle to him. She understood what he was saying and only one person should have been able to do that.

Then there was the feeling of her Evol. It was warm, inviting and it sung. Shouldn’t it be impossible for two Evols to coexist together? He had two flowing through him right now and nothing negative has come from it.

It was also interesting watching the human woman. Recently having discovered that she had a chick; a small thing that made a lot of strange noises yet the interactions between the two was entertaining.

Then there was the singing. It always did something to him. His gaze returned to the man at the desk. Would his human find this woman to be a threat? The thought made him angry. Why?

“What has you angry now?”

Not giving an answer, Mephisto teleported outside completely missing the perplexed expression of the man.

Turning toward the East, the crow took flight. This woman was a shiny new thing, and he had no intention of letting anyone else get her.

Additional notes:

Mephisto is very intelligent and despite being a mechanical bird, has quite the personality. I find it intriguing that he has a temper and that he is able to communicate with Sylus. That is why I am taking creative liberties and giving him moments where we get glimpses to his thoughts.

[marciabrady]

A LOT of what we take for granted in media and pop culture nowadays can be traced back to Snow White more than any other Disney film I think. Theme parks, merchandising, most cartoons, naturally most animated films, heck even anime and other live action films...A person doesn't have to be into Disney but they have to understand / respect Snow White's legacy.

EXACTLY. People are reacting to the desecration of one of the most historically and culturally impactful films of all time. And it isn't like it's just niche fans who are upset, since I know people are saying "who even liked Snow White, you all are using this as a reason to hate a 22 year old woman!!!" (Which btw in and of itself is such a ridiculous statement). But I guess people don't realize that the original director's son literally said that his dad and Walt Disney would be rolling around in their graves, with what's going on. And idk I'm just so sick of the horrible takes that are blindly supporting Rachel. I keep hearing a mixture of the below:

"Why are people upset at her- she didn't write or direct the movie? She's just repeating talking points Disney gave her!" First off, no one held a gun to her head and told her to grimace into the camera or to call Snow White's Prince a stalker or say that she never connected with the movie as a child. Those were her choices and that's her personality coming through. Secondly, it's been confirmed that she has had input on her role and *surprise* her portrayal of the character she was cast as. And third of all, people are upset at her because of her comments, but also because she's a mascot of this movie. She was literally paid to promote this film and be a face for the movie (she herself said that her name was above Snow White's on the title and people needed to get over it)- meaning, if the movie did well, she would've gotten most of the praise and attention, and if it didn't, she would've gotten the pushback. Just because there's a negative reaction doesn't absolve her from the responsibility of that title she chose to take on and was ready to reap the rewards off of.

I have also been seeing people say, 'She loves Snow White!' No she doesn't. She loves being cast as a lead in a Disney movie and took selfies in front of merch because she sees it as a reflection of herself. She hasn't listed a single quality she likes about the character- just why it's problematic to her, outdated, and how she wants to change everything about the personality. Not only that, she literally said she just watched the movie once as a kid and never picked it up again...like, why are people reaching and trying to put words and feelings in her mouth when she's already indicated the opposite?

"People are dogpiling on this poor woman because people hate girls!" I disagree. I think the reason everyone's having a kneejerk reaction is because this is the 100th live action movie no one asked for, and they've been spoon feeding us this incredibly reductive antifeminist take masquerading around as progressivism while not actually giving us anything pushing edge or revolutionary or edgy or meaningful in terms of representation. They're responding to trends 20 years too late and the movement has already progressed, and people have realized how harmful a lot of these takes were at the time.

"She's just a kid! She shouldn't be held responsible for what she said on the red carpet, she's too young!" She's an adult who was cast in a production that, at this point with post production, is going to cost half a billion dollars. She got paid millions for her role. She is bringing to live action the film that this entire company, one of the biggest in the world, is based off of. She has a team of PR agents, of representations, of communication experts training her on how to speak and promote the movie. Also, again, she's an adult! This infantilization of her for her unprofessional behavior is, frankly, insulting. She was given big shoes to fill, and you can't accept that responsibility and all that money, only to cower and say you aren't fit for those responsibilities once the heat comes on you. Furthermore, it wasn't that long ago that I was 22 and I didn't talk like that lol I had better sense than she did at like five. I don't even think 9 year olds would talk as disrespectfully about she did about a school assignment, much less one of the most important roles in cinematic history.

"People hate her because of her SAG strike comments and because she dared to stand up." No, people hate her for demanding streaming money from a movie that hasn't even come out yet, when all she's done is disparage the original creation fans are so upset about, and for being a hypocrite. Again, she's going to demand streaming rights for "standing in the dress of an iconic Disney Princess" when only a few months prior, she snickered and laughed at the Prince's scenes potentially being cut out in post production, saying "That's Hollywood, baby." Did she feel bad for her costars, there, when she was joking about it? I doubt he would've gotten paid residuals if his scenes all got cut. Maybe he should tell Rachel, "That's Hollywood, baby," if she doesn't get any money. And just to confirm- I do think actors should get residuals and compensated fairly, which goes without saying. It's just gross to see someone undermine the work of so many creative artists and talent, but be so quick to try to profit from it. Again, the way she was snickering and laughing "That's Hollywood, baby" makes me feel particularly uncomfortable.

[73chn1c0l0rr3v3l]

Hey, other Chibnall era/13th Doctor fans, a word in your ear?

I get the annoyance that y'all are feeling at all the people going "oh, Rogue was so much better than anything with Yaz and Thirteen, this is such better rep etcetera etcetera" - I feel that same annoyance. Having our favorite era constantly being shit on and being compared (negatively) to the current era is horrible and obnoxious and annoying, and I really wish people would stop doing it! Trust me, I am entirely in your court on this. If Thirteen has a million defenders I am one and if she has one defender I am one and if she has none I'm dead or however that meme goes - you get what I mean.

But you know what's EQUALLY shitty?

Defending Chibnall's era by going down gender essentialist or homophobic roads. WLW (or lesbian or queer women's or whatever term you'd prefer) relationships are not inherently more deep or emotional than MLM/queer men's/gay/etc just by dint of the gender of the participants. You can have women in fucky, weird horny relationships with each other and men in deep, emotionally resonant but not demonstrative relationships with each other.

15/Rogue and 13/Yaz are two very different relationships, with two different iterations of the same character. 13 as a character is an open wound - she had just lost her best friend and seen her companion cyber converted and died trying to save a group of people in a move that was ultimately futile. This on the aftermath of losing people and losing people and losing people (Donna, the Ponds, Clara), from losing Gallifrey, from discovering that she wasn't who she thought she was due to the Timeless Child. To say nothing of the Flux.

To say nothing of the fact that by the time we get to Legend of the Sea Devils, 13 literally knows she is going to die.

TIME: You can leave here, but you won't outrun me. Your time is heading to its end. DOCTOR: No, it's not. You're wrong. TIME: Nothing is forever. No regeneration, no life. Beware of the forces that mass against you. (sotto) And their Master. DOCTOR: What do you mean? What do you mean, their Master? TIME: I restore you, Doctor. Reunify you. But for how long?

Thirteen is a person who knows she is going to die, who wants to love and wants to care for people, but is so afraid of how much it will hurt them when she dies, of how much it will hurt her knowing that they're hurting. She's in pain and she's sad and she loves Yaz but she can't let herself take that risk, can't do something that cruel. She loves so hard and so much, and she says "If it were anyone, it would be you" because she has to let Yaz know that if she COULD, she WOULD, but she can't. She can't pass that pain on, she can't open herself up like that, she can't take that risk.

Their romance is a tragic one, and I eat it up with a spoon because that is the kind of yearning adoration that makes me want to die (positive).

Fifteen is not in pain.

Fifteen is, by his own admission, someone who's gone through rehab. We can argue about how much of that is just the Doctor being the Doctor (so a lot is beneath the surface), but he is a lot more emotionally open. More than being emotionally open, he seems utterly and intensely dedicated to having FUN, look how much FUN he's having (he really is taking after 13, I love it).

Him and Rogue were two strangers who met each other in an adventure and had a fun connection. Utterly different vibe to Yaz and Thirteen - not better, not worse, just different. And yes, it's resonating with people in a different way because it is a different dynamic!

(It didn't do anything for me, but I'm not interested in M/M. I'm glad for the people who are enjoying it!)

You can definitely tell people off for being obnoxious about your preferred ship without diving into gender essentialism. I promise. I have faith in you. You can do it.

[nothums-from-tj]

This actually reminds me of when I tried doing this (TLDR at the end)

So on Instagram I made a reel going through my identities and my journey among the LGBT stars so to speak (this one if anyone’s interested) and it started blowing up. Like, really blowing up.

Hate comments were coming in every single day, and while there were equally the amount of positives and others relating to me, the negative similar to what started the DM conversation above is really what, understandably, weighed on me.

Several in particular were things like: “you were too young to know”, “fatherless behavior”, lots of “trans people aren’t real” comments, and one that stuck out to me is one I don’t even remember what it consisted of sans some direct insults to me.

I started most every response to them with: “This sounds like it’s coming from a place of ignorance and misunderstanding, so I’ll do my best to inform.” Most often than not I dove into how a lot of us know at super young ages the same way that cishet kids know, how trans people have always existed, and that the labels have just been a matter of, like the audio says, being incorrect and continuing to learn and grow and find myself in the same way that everyone has the same journey to self discovery in so many different subjects with millions of different experiences.

In most of those cases, I would either get no response back, or them being appreciative that I took my time to slow down and not push them away.

That last comment I mentioned I don’t even fully remember my response, I just remember that they deliberately said that they super appreciated it as other queer people they’d leave the comment to would get defensive and start calling them a bigot. I said nothing as I don’t blame those other queer people for doing so.

What really made this interaction memorable, though, is another response from a person who stood at my defense, telling this person that I had every right to be as mean as I wanted to after the nasty things that were sent my way and I still took the time to slow down and inform them and they were fortunate that I was someone who didn’t do the same. I thanked them privately after the interaction as I was running out of spoons to be dealing with many comments at all, even the positive ones.

Moral of the story (TLDR): as much as I will always believe that patience is a virtue and learning about other trans experiences is super helpful, we are not required to be a walking mediator and dictionary. Boundaries are allowed to be set, we can send them in the right direction (“I recommend checking out these stories,” “here are some helpful links/sources for you,” “these videos explain it much better than I can,” etc.), and we don’t owe anybody anything. We’re only human too, after all.

We can’t force anyone to change their minds, although we can always try to help (also if anyone needs it I have this source/link post I made specifically for coming out to someone you love <3)

Wow. The patience, kindness and calm communication skills. Outstanding.

From raindovemodel

[simplyrhetorical]

POSITIVE, NEGATIVE, GROUND

I remember that years ago the lights on our trailer were not working correctly.  I replaced some bulbs and checked the wiring, but was unable to fix the problem.  As I was discussing the situation with a friend, he suggested that I check the ground.  Sure enough, the ground wire was barely secured to the frame.  The concept was simple; unless the trailer’s wires are grounded, the electrical system will not perform correctly.  That illustration can be applied to our spiritual life.  If we are not grounded in the Word of God, our effectiveness as a Believer is hindered.

We have a tendency to be spoon fed the Word by Pastors and Teachers, and then think that is all we need to sustain us until the next gathering of the Saints.  In the mean time, when the opportunities arise to share the Gospel, or the testing of our faith is presented, our light seems to dim and fade out.  Every Believer needs to understand the importance of studying the Word; notice I did not say just reading the Word.  The more we increase in Biblical understanding and knowledge, the better equipped we are to not only present the Gospel, but to grow in the Truth that it offers.

The car battery is made up of the positive and negative cables.  Each one of these wires plays an important role in the working of the battery.  Many Believers feel that the negative aspects of life can only lead to failures and set backs.  But as one reads the stories of the challenges that many of the Biblical characters faced,         one cannot but notice how God used the negatives to assist them in a positive contribution to the challenges of life.  Stop looking at the negatives as negative and began to see how they can function with the positives in life to make a real difference, not only in your life, but in the lives of others.  Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, yet through it all Joseph was lifted up and placed in a position where he was able to deliver his whole family from destitution. (Gen. 37-47)  Paul stated that his imprisonment at Rome had really aided in the furtherance of the Gospel. (Philippians 1:12)  Jonah was “down in the mouth” and Moses was ”a basket case,” yet Nineveh repented and Moses led two and a half million people out of bondage.  Truly, Paul put it in the right perspective when he declared that all things work together for good. (Romans 8:28)

The next time something negative happens, join it with the positive and see the “charge” you will generate.  Take your negatives - scars, fears, and pouts - and look at the potential they hold.  They will turn into stars, cheers, and shouts; for when everything is hooked up correctly, power will flow from you.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Milton The Monster

Fareed Zakaria, in his book Age Of Revolutions, recounts the following story about Milton Friedman:

“Milton Friedman told about a visit he made to an Asian country in the 1960s.  He toured a site where a canal was being constructed, and he was puzzled to see the workers using shovels rather than mechanized tractors and excavators.  He queried a government official, who answered, ‘You don’t understand.  This is a jobs program.’  Friedman said, ‘Oh, I thought you were trying to build a canal.  If it’s jobs you want, then you should give those workers spoons, not shovels.’”

I sure hope Milton is enjoying being spit-roasted between Asmodeus and Mammon in the hottest bowels of Hell.  If you ever want a perfect distillation of the psychopathy that is capitalism, look no further that Milton’s smug, self-congratulatory attitude.

Let’s start by asking a few basic questions.

Why is the canal being dug?

For the benefit of human beings.  This particular project may not benefit humanity as a whole, but clearly there was some reason to expend the effort into moving a lot of dirt to enable water to flow in a direction humans wanted it to flow in.

Maybe it was for flood control reasons, maybe it was for irrigation, maybe it was to making shipping goods easier, maybe some combination thereof.  The specifics don’t matter, the underlying principle is that the task was to do something that would benefit human beings.

Can the canal benefit humans in only one way?

Presumably no.  While the canal may have a primary purpose (lets say shipping goods) it may also provide water for crops (irrigation), and / or a convenient area for fishing (food and recreation).

And just as the finished project may offer a number of benefits, so the construction itself offers multiple benefits.

In this particular case, employment to locals who apparently need the work.

The government clearly weighed the balance of speed / efficiency against the negative effects of depriving local labor with work that would provide them with money to care for themselves.

We can imagine urgent conditions where getting a canal dug as fast as possible would preclude using manual labor, but that’s a case of the negative impact of not having a canal vastly outweighs the positive of employing the local labor pool.

Friedman demonstrates a complete inability to comprehend basic human needs, focusing instead entirely on the abstract bottom line of cutting costs.

He’s incapable of recognizing the cost of excluding local labor from the project, that not only will it affect the income of those laborers but will also stir up resentment, not to mention other problems associated with a lack of income. 

Taking a little longer and paying a little extra might indeed be a bargain in the long run if it prevents more problems from arising.

Friedman can’t see that.

All Friedman can see is a budget that can be slashed to satisfy the demands of profit.

Profits not shared with those doing the work, just the owners at the top.

He is utterly incapable of recognizing gainful employment for a large number of people is part of that profit.

No, Friedman is one selfish psychopath.  Fnck you and your desire to care for yourself and your family, all that matters is that I make more money. 

Like all uber-wealthy and their lickspittle apologists, he stands atop a mountain of labor provided directly and indirectly by millions of people.  Between the summit and the base, however, is a cloud layer that prevents them from seeing the mountain that supports them.  All they see is their own pinnacle and bright, open skies above them and they assume that anybody not sharing their pinnacle is unworthy.

If the mountain below the cloud level should crumble away, the pinnacle would tumble into the abyss.

Here’s a suggestion:

Once you get past tens of millions of dollars, you enter a realm where wealth becomes unreal.  How significantly different is the lifestyle of a multi-millionaire from a lowly single digit billionaire, the single digit billionaire from the super-wealthy 1%?

How much more do they have than the people who only possess a hundred million in wealth?

Tax the fnck out of those people, but let them have bragging rights.

Let them add as many zeroes to their bank accounts as they wish.

It’s all imaginary, anyway.  Wealth and its sister, power, is only what people say it is.

How many collectors do we know of who bragged about their extensive / expensive collections only when they died nobody else wanted that crap and it either sold for pennies on the dollar or got trashed?

That’s true of all wealth and power.

Things have value only because human beings agree to that value.

The French nobility had power only so long, then one day the French people decided they no longer had any power and heads rolled.

Now -- while we all share a ballpark agreement on what constitutes wealth and power -- is the time to shore up the system, adjust it so it no longer races headlong towards a precipice.

Take the wealth horded by a few and instead of concentrating it into an increasingly smaller circle of greedy fists, spread it out so everyone benefits from it.

That’s not even sharing the wealth, it’s just circulating the wealth.

The uber-rich will see all that money flow back into their pockets through their various holdings because the bulk of humanity will use that wealth to improve their lives by buying goods and services.

The uber-wealthy will not suffer as a result.

Their lives will remain unchanged.

But the flow of wealth will benefit countless others who suffer lack today through no fault of their own.

Dig the canal.

  © Buzz Dixon

[reviewhq]

The 369 Manifestation Code Review

There are several manifestation programs on the internet that promise to be able to assist you achieve your goals. The 369 Manifestation Code is also named for Tesla Nikola, the man who inspired its creation. The Tesla Manifestation software was named after its developer, Darius.

According to Tesla, you have the ability to unlock and attain your desires. The Tesla Manifestation method employs one-of-a-kind audios to assist you in opening your mind, allowing the universe to grant you all of your wishes.

The numbers 3, 6, and 9 are said to have the capacity to bring prosperity, health, and love from the cosmos, according to Tesla. All you have to do is figure out how to use these three numbers to make the cosmos grant your wishes.

The 369 Manifestation Program employs 369 hertz audios to change brain waves and cleanse the root chakra, opening the way to wealth and plenty.

Negative energy, such as financial stress, relationship issues, and bad health, unfortunately, inhibits the ability to attract happy feelings.

What Is the 369 Manifestation Code?

The 369 Manifestation Code is a three-step manifesting method. That is, it is a rather basic technique that utilizes the power of the mind to channel positive energies and assist you in your daily life. It is stated that by releasing these powers, you would be able to attain your goals.

Darrius, a male, was the one who came up with the idea. He was in a poor financial condition, maybe the worst of his life. The man was in so much debt that he couldn’t even meet his basic demands. Then he learned that his partner was expecting a child.

He felt desperate at first, but then he realized the answer to all of his problems: the numbers 3, 6, and 9. A acquaintance told him that the sound of 369 hertz was the best method to enter a “Alpha state,” and that this secret had been known for a long time.

According to him, the legendary Nicola Tesla was already aware of the mind’s power. According to Tesla, the ability to materialize the life you desire comes from inside, not from the outside. These three numbers were also favorites of the scientist: 3, 6, and 9.

Someone might reportedly discover the key to a happy, prosperous life by connecting these numbers. As a result, Darrius created a 369-hertz soundtrack that makes direct touch with your chakras and opens the door to a lot more pleasant way of life.

Who Created The 369 Manifestation Code?

The 369 manifestation code was devised by Darius, one of the most prominent manifestation instructors, and is followed by over a million individuals.

He received 369 audio tracks from a friend, which he utilized in his life, and after seeing how successful they were, he decided to share them with the world under the moniker 369 Manifestation Code.

If you don’t know Darius, I have found his story for you.

Darius had a difficult existence, was lost, and was drained in every way. His financial circumstances deteriorated as a result of his lack of a high school graduation. Despite the fact that everyone felt he was performing well, he was consistently overlooked for promotions. He was heavily in debt and couldn’t afford even the most basic basics.

He learned that his fiancée was pregnant one day, and despite his joy, he was worried about how the two of them would handle having a child. He was attempting to come up with a solution without understanding that the cosmos had all the answers.

Sebastian contacted him when he was contemplating in a nearby café, and they began conversing. Darius was interested by the fact that the guy appeared to have been born with a silver spoon in his mouth after knowing about his difficult existence.

Darius heard about the three numerals 369 when he asked him how his life had altered.

How Does the 369 Manifestation Code Work?

The 369 Manifestation Code is based on a basic three-digit manifestation code. The 369 Manifestation Code soundtrack’s particular frequency assists users in unlocking incredible wealth and abundance of pleasure in their lives.

The sacred numbers 3, 6, and 9 are used by Darius, the originator of the 369 Manifestation code, to unlock the door to a new alternate and plentiful universe.

Hearing audio tracks tailored to a precise frequency allows you to magnetically attract mind-blowing money miracles in minutes. Because these soundtracks can seamlessly connect the user’s mind and the world to attract financial independence, riches, health, and pleasure, they are becoming increasingly popular.

The entire system runs on autopilot and is unaffected by the user’s present financial situation. The 369 Manifestation Program does not necessitate any physical exertion, nor does it necessitate any new knowledge or mental or visualization methods.

To link the user’s mind with the Universe, the application only requires a total commitment of 5 minutes every day for about 10 days.

The 369 Manifestation Code manifestation program has three steps:

Step 1: Take some time to relax and listen to the vibration-altering sound for 10 minutes.

Step 2: Give yourself some time to go into the Alpha Brain Wave Pattern, which is where all the changes happen on a deep level.

Step 3: Give yourself some time to enable the new thought patterns and vibrations to take root in your head and generate a new reality naturally.

What’s Included In The 369 Manifestation Code?

Because the music contains a frequency of 369 hertz, using the 369 Manifestation Code can help you open up new possibilities and unleash abundance. Listening to these vibration-altering music can help you materialize your new world.

Your new life might be full of first-class experiences and exotic trips, as well as financial assistance.

You’ll also receive some bonus songs to help you on your way to a more effective makeover.

Bonuses for the 369 Manifestation Code include:

Bonus #1: Millionaire Mindset Shift:

Do you realize that the billionaires you see around you aren’t always more gifted or intelligent than you? Some people believe that redirecting your mentality is the secret to success.

You will find yourself manifesting more frequently and tripling or even trebling your money if you listen to this audio clip.

This alone is worth $97, but if you get 369 Manifestation Code, you can have it for free.

Bonus #2: The Money Abundance Magnet Moves

Simple practices may make the process of creating riches ten times simpler.

You may study these habits in the 369 manifestation code and use them in your daily life.

Bonus #3: The Money Confidence Booster:

The state of your financial circumstances is inextricably linked to your degree of confidence.

When you are confidence in yourself and your skills, you will attract greater riches. You’ll gain confidence in a matter of minutes.

Bonus #4: The Health Chakra Spinne:

You may be familiar with the concept of chakras. Each of our organs has energy-related wheels spinning around it. If they are rotating properly, our health remains healthy.

A shift in their employment might be harmful to your health and cause you to become ill. The audio track is important in this case. It is said to aid in the proper spinning of your chakras in order to maintain optimum health.

Benefits of Tthe 369-Manifestation Code:

Users of the 369 Manifestation Code manifestation program can expect the following benefits:

You will have unrestricted money and will finally be financially independent.

Assists people in realizing all of their desires.

You will be presented with several possibilities that will help you advance in your profession.

Make a mental connection to the cosmos.

You will discover contentment and fulfillment.

Increase the users’ skills to attract an abundance of health and prosperity.

Money will come in from a variety of sources.

Provides an endless supply of possibilities.

You will have a more positive self-image and more self-confidence.

If the manifestation code does not work for you, you may get a refund within 60 days.

You will have no trouble manifesting the riches you require.

Reduces stress and anxiety by assisting in the elimination of negative thoughts.

You’ll have more time to focus on your relationships because you’ll have more time to work on them.

For individuals who do not profit from the code, there is a 60-day money-back guarantee.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What is the money-back guarantee and how does it work? A: If the 369 Manifestation Code program does not work for you, simply write an email to the developer to get a refund.

Q: How long will it take to view the findings of 369 Manifestation Code? A: Based on consumer feedback and testimonials, most customers saw changes in their lives after the first day. However, for the greatest outcomes, it is suggested that you try it for at least 2 to 3 months.

Q: Does the 369 Manifestation Code curriculum need any additional talents or techniques? A: No, it isn’t. To use the 369 Manifestation Code software, you don’t need any additional skills or methods.

Q: Can anyone use the 369 Manifestation Code program? A: Yes, the 369 Manifestation Code program is reported to be beneficial to people of all ages, genders, and abilities.

Q: What does practicing the skills entail? A: To listen to the audio tracks, all you’ll need is a mobile phone or CD player, as well as a headset.

Pros:

Simple and straightforward to follow

Without doing any physical effort, manifest an abundance of health, riches, and pleasure.

Priced reasonably

A 100% money-back guarantee is included.

Because the program is available in digital format, anyone may view it right now.

Cons:

There are just a few spots available.

Only available for purchase on the official website.

This is not for everyone.

Conclusion:

If all other financial alternatives have been tried, there is still hope since the 369-manifestation code can be used. The 369-manifestation code is beneficial to anyone seeking unrestricted wealth.

There are additional books you may collect after you have it. It was found by the greatest mind, and the information has now been made available to you.

If you have any worries, rest assured that this code has been thoroughly tested and confirmed to function. Financial independence is within your reach, and all it takes is a small investment.

Try Now… Click the Button Below

[hisphoenixrising]

The Summer I Ruled The World

The thump of feet against wet ground, the whoosh of air around me as I ran forward. Tears streaked my face, burning with the crisp air that finally came into play. I wanted nothing more than to scream, but the oxygen in my lungs was gone, the feeling of trying to catch a breath burned my throat like acid.

It felt like a million years had passed, but it was just months. Months, I had to repeat the word as if it didn't make sense to me. Summer had come and just like it had shown up, it left. But it left with a bitter taste and a viscous punch. A summer I thought was going to be perfectly normal turned hellish in a matter of days. The summer from Hell, that's what I declared it.

Eventually you'll answer my texts or my calls.

His texts came in like rapid fire most days. Other days? Barely a ding on my phone, barely a vibration on my wrist. He was the venom in the world and yet I fell for it like the idiot that I was. His words were honey laced in sedatives. His touch was a magnet, doused in toxins. His kiss was embers and yet it left me forever scorched. I hated him, I felt the bile rise in my throat anytime he did text me or called me. The voicemails with that same slow tone, one he knew would make my knees wobble. He knew my weakness and played them like a violin, each pluck of the wires precise and pointed. He was a goddamn nightmare I couldn't wake up from. He was everything I tried to avoid.

And yet?

Wrong number.

Yeah, he was right. I'd answer like the lovesick fool that I was. I'd find anyway to get another text to come through. If it meant turning him into the demon he was? Sure, I'd do it with no questions asked. And him? He'd respond, some harsh text with negative connotations on the side. He was a mastermind.

Play your games, Atlas. You'll get sick of them eventually.

Eventually? I was throwing up already. Weak from the need of something I wasn't allowed. Feigning for my next hit like an addict with a needle or a bottle. My skin crawled with not only that toxicity but the passion. It was intoxicating yet sickening. I was a fucking fool, but I'd be the fool who got what he wanted.

I finally stopped to catch my breath. Sweat made every fabric of my clothes stick to my body in ways I hated. A second layer of clothes that could honestly evaporate and I'd breathe better. But it'd never happen. I looked over to my left, studying the wave of trees as they danced around the dense woods. To my right, a massive lake, sparkling under the sun's bright light.

The wind crawled up my spine, dancing against my skin as I sucked in a breath. It danced against me like he did, so softly and yet so...God, what was the word? He was a scary man, terrifying even. But yet? It lit a fire in me that I didn't know existed. There was only one thing with this whole ordeal and that was the world he lived in, paid for. While he lived lavishly and without a care in the world, he had an image to live to, attend to. Rich and careless. Like any other man in the world. The biggest issue? Well, that came in the form of an email.

Come from nothing and yet play with silver spoons. Touching things that don't belong to you, seems about right for someone in your class. Make zero mistakes, sweetheart, he does not want you. And he never will.

Her words were clear. I understood almost immediately. While he played dangerously, I played carefully. Open-ended threats and toxic words sealed our fate. While he got everything he wanted, I'd be left with scraps forever. Because those that start at the ground remain there. Those pampered by lavish mansions and caviar will always have the life of pampering and riches.

I didn't fit into that life and I never would.

I could text him, tell him to leave me alone. Maybe this was his wife, moving into texts so that maybe I'd respond. Knowing damn well I'd answer. The calls, however, were a different story. It was his voice, his feelings. I knew the words he spoke because they were the same ones whispered between breathless moans. But how did I know the texts were him? They were different. Or were they?

Paranoia was my best friend, always keeping me close with a pair of ice-cold chains. Chains wrapped firmly around my lungs and surrendered me to its mercy.

But if I spoke about the things his wife was doing? Would I open a new can of worms for me? The questions danced over and over in my head, spinning like a cyclone.

Instead of letting the monsters win though, I took it into my own hands. I may have let the world walk all over me, use me as a punching bag. But no more. Atlas Lachlan Richardson was no pushover and he never would be.

You say he will never want me but he sure fucked me like I would slip from his fingers like sand. Perhaps if you got him off he wouldn't be begging for me so often. Lose my contact information.

Feeling like the weight was off my chest, I looked at his texts one last time before swiping them to the left and pressing the red delete button. Watching him vanish from my messages like nothing. The sand, I thought. I wouldn't be the sand to him, he could be the sand to me.

Turning on my heels, I faced the opposite direction I had just ran from and started my run back. Music spilled into my ears as the sound of the world around me slipped away again. Nothing but the path in front of me and the pulsing beat of the song.

The world would bend the knee to me from now on. I was the King and the world was my bitch.

No more Mister Nice-Guy.

[himbodad]

i am Crying. i cannot stop Crying

[perdidit-vulpes]

:qiqifallen: