#tries not to go into the whole dynamic between them and their history and their relationship with the group..anyway.

[desktopmermaid]

The Cousins

[sundew199]

Times Two

a/n: good lord this is long and filthy. If you prefer to read it on AO3, it'll be linked. I've also never written a threesome before and tried my best, hopefully it isn't too horrible :)

words: 8,180

tags: Reiner x Jean x F!reader, rough sex, rough oral sex, Eiffel tower position, slight panty kink (Reiner), cum eating, Reiner and Jean are Bisexual, College AU, Reijean if you pay attention or care lol, pet names

What was it about Reiner and Jean that had you constantly glued to their hips? If you’re friends were to ask they’d say it was a double crush you were denying. If you asked your family their answers would vary from underlying crush, to enjoying being the center of attention or a close friendship. You personally didn’t think you were attached to their hips at first, but the more people started to whisper and theorize, you started to ask yourself the question. In reality, Reiner and Jean were your closest and longest friends, surviving multiple friend groups and growing up. You met Reiner in grade school, sat next to him on the first day of fourth grade and throughout the whole year due to the teacher’s assigned seating. The two of you might as well have been siblings, walking home together, eating dinner and playing at each other's house, even his mom and your parents were close after a while. Jean entered the scene later, seventh grade to be exact when he transferred mid year and as luck would have it the three of you shared almost all classes together. Reiner was the one who sought out Jean’s friendship and you became friends by proxy and from then on all the way to college the three of you were tight knit. 

Attending the same university is what you think further solidified the glue between the three of you, swearing to everyone it wasn’t intentional to attend the same university together. Some believed you and others didn’t, but you really didn’t care. Thankfully rumors spreading about you being in a three way relationship with them ended going to college, high school was rampant. You’d admit that it did bother you, because why couldn’t you be really good friends with two guys? Why did everyone have to make it seem the other way around? Reiner and Jean never hesitated to defend your honor against the rumors, landing themselves in suspension once or twice when defending you turned physical. Even when you tried to blame yourself, they never allowed it. 

Now when people questioned what the true nature of your friendship was with them, you’d play into the bit and come up with wildly different answers on how the dynamics of the relationship worked. Reiner and Jean both got a kick out of it as did you. 

Junior year of college is what changed things for the three of you. Since you couldn’t room with them in the dorms since they were guys, all three of you decided to rent a condo off campus. You’d spent almost all your life with both of them so there wasn’t any harm in living with them, besides all three of you were just friends. 

Towards the end of the first semester of junior year already and finals quickly approaching, you were buried in your books, studying like a madman to keep your GPA around or above a 3.5, needing the best possible grades to earn the degree you were working towards. Jean and Reiner had it easy in your mind, ashy haired man working towards a degree in Art History and the blonde meathead shooting towards that finance degree. In hindsight, they didn’t have it much easier than you, but they were also stupidly smart in their own respective studies. You envied them in a sense. 

It was chilly out, keeping two blankets wrapped around you sitting at your desk and scrolling through the notes you took the other day to refresh your mind for the practice test on Monday. As much as you wanted to deny it, you need a mental break from school but wouldn’t allow yourself to take it, not when so much was riding on the line. 

“Hey.” 

Jumping in your chair at the sound of a gruff voice at your bedroom door, blinking and rubbing your eyes from staring at the screen for too long. Swiveling to face whichever one of them it was, you wrapped the blanket around you tightly. 

“Yea.” 

“Are you still planning on watching the season premier of the show later?” Reiner asked, tapping his knuckles on your doorframe and leaning into it. Your eyes refused to focus on his face and instead on the bulging bicep through the fabric of the long sleeve shirt he wore. Since when were his arms that big? I mean fuck you knew he worked out but you’d never noticed how ripped his arms alone were. 

“Yeah if I finish going through my notes.” 

Reiner scoffed, rolling his eyes and approaching you, reaching over you to slam the laptop shut, deciding for you if you were going to look over the rest of your notes or not. 

“Reiner-” 

“You’ve been holed up in here for almost two days. I know finals are important but I’ll bet your brain is fried to a crisp.” Defiantly declaring, crossing those beefy ass arms over his chest and waiting for you to give in like he knew you would. 

Whatever. The premier of the new season of the show the three of you watched would only be an hour, and then you could return to forcing yourself to absorb as much information as possible. Sighing dramatically for effect and throwing the blankets off of yourself, you uncross your stupidly numb legs and ignore the sharp tingles running up from your foot as you stride over to the small closet to put on a sweatshirt. Reiner didn’t bother leaving as you tossed your t-shirt and bra from where you stood partially out of view to pull the sweatshirt over your head. 

“Jean is picking up food and drinks - is that my sweatshirt that I haven’t been able to find?” Sounding hurt and accusatory as you brushed past him out of your room, looking back to nod with a smile, because yes it was his and it was his fault for mixing it in with your laundry. He muttered down the small hallway to the main area of the condo all three of you shared, pinching your shoulder when he purposely knocked past you, hearing the muttering replaced with chuckles. 

One of them had taken the liberty to find all the blankets that were supposed to already be in the living room and tossed them all over the couch, setting up for the three of you to comfortably watch the premier. You could hear Reiner in the kitchen that flowed into the open concept living room, making a whole bunch of unnecessary noise in trying to find whatever it was. If you were being honest, living with your closest friends was turning into living with siblings, getting into pointless arguments and doing everything to get on each other's nerves. Would you change it to live with a regular roommate that could be a hit or miss in how well you got alone? Hell no. 

Finding a spot on the couch while waiting for Jean, you decided to look through all the notifications you missed while studying for hours. Some of your classmates were checking in, or asking questions about the notes, contemplating on whether you should respond. They could wait, Reiner was probably right when he said your brain was fried at this point. Checking social media quickly turned into envy seeing some of your other friends enjoying the holiday break, done with their finals and celebrating by jumping from parties to bars or wherever they sold cheap alcohol. If only you were done with finals so you could actually destress, but that just wasn’t in the cards. 

Jean came through the door after barreling through it, hands full with food and drinks. From the strong aroma, you knew he went to go get wings, always choosing the messiest option somehow. 

“Damn out of your room finally? Swore you died or something.” Commenting with a smirk as he passed by the couch to get to the kitchen where Reiner was snickering at his comment. Rolling your eyes instead of lashing back, you joined them in the kitchen to plate some of the food and momentarily forget about the weight of finals. 

“Please tell me you didn’t just get beer.” Approaching the center island of the kitchen, noticing the familiar white box in one of the bags that happened to be Jean and Reiner’s preferred drink of choice. If they wanted to give you a break, they would’ve at least gotten drinks that didn’t take four or five to actually start to feel the buzz. 

“No, I got you those lemonade drinks.” 

Ugh you could kiss him. As much as you loved Jean as a friend he had a tendency to forget to grab whatever you needed when he went out, always having to send you or Reiner back to the store to go grab it. Taking the glass bottle and popping the lid, the tingling fizzy drink left a slight burn as it went down your throat, just the right amount for you to down an entire six pack in a night and not regret your life choices in the morning. 

“Shows about to start.” Reiner announced after checking his phone, taking his plate with him to the couch. You and Jean did the same, grabbing the drinks as well to keep from having to get up and get another if you wanted. 

Sitting next to Reiner at a reasonable distance, Jean plopped down next to you and ended up sandwiching you between them. They were doing the absolute most to work every single one of your nerves, but you didn’t want to lash out again like you did earlier this week when one of them accidently ate your leftovers in the fridge. Tucking your feet under you as Reiner found the streaming service the show was premiering on, you actually didn’t mind being squished between them, their combined body heat doing more than the blanket over your lap would warm you up. 

The host for the show gave a quick recap of last season, breaking down the drama and how it might affect this season. This dating competition game that you had started watching out of boredom surprisingly took the guys interest, somehow watching it with you when it was on to turning into offense when you’d watch the latest episode without them. Despite the show being corny and scripted and at times unbearable to watch, it was nice to do something like this with them. 

“I swear to god if Jodi and that dick Preston aren’t broken up I might not watch the show anymore.” 

Jean hummed in agreement with Reiner, guzzling down the rest of his first beer and reaching for another. “I know, he’s so fucking annoying and Jodi is either dumb or desperate if she hasn’t left him yet.” 

Biting back a laugh as you took a bite of one of the wings, you looked at both of them to see they were being completely serious, so engrossed in this stupid show. The premise of this variant of a dating show was two people are paired up as a couple in the beginning and go through a series of challenges to see if they’re right for each other. Couples who continuously didn’t work together could get voted off or petition to break up with their partner. The downside was if there wasn’t another couple trying to split, you could be left without a partner and voted off, ya know all those stupid dating show rules that make you question why anyone would sign up to do it. 

Finally beginning to destress while nursing your vodka infused lemonade, it all went to shit when the couple you were rooting for petitioned to split. 

“Oh my god no! Why?! They were so good together!” Exclaiming and throwing your arms up, throwing your head back into the couch and pouting like a child. 

“Man that sucks, but he did fuck Serena last season so I’d leave him to.” Reiner commented, grabbing your attention even more, failing to recall that important detail. 

“Really?” 

“Oh yeah, they were getting each other off in that hallway, remember? Moaning so loud it's a shocker no one heard them.” Jean answered, laughing a little as he recalled the scene you’d clearly missed. 

“Yea! She was standing there going ‘oh josh faster! I'm going to cum, oh my god I’m so close!’” Reiner took it upon himself to imitate the moans one of the contestants were making, and you wouldn’t have felt as uncomfortable if it wasn't for that throaty laugh he let out there at the end, turning your cheeks flush with pink and throwing back the rest of your drink to hide it. Jean found Reiner’s imitation hilarious, laughing a bit harder than you’d imagine he would if he wasn’t finishing his second beer already, grabbing another and throwing his arm behind the couch and slouching, lifting his hips in the air trying to get comfortable. 

Suddenly the short commercial playing on screen was so interesting, taking small sips of the second bottle of lemonade and trying to drown out the sounds of their talking over you. Studying your ass off for the last couple of months left you little to no time to snag yourself a quick one night stand. You’d been able to ignore the urges and pour everything into your notes and reviews, but fuck it was harder than you expected. Espescially when you pick up on conversations between Reiner and Jean on their nights out, the girls they sometimes went home with and wishing you were getting fucked into the next semester. When all three of you moved in here, everyone agreed not to bring anyone home, unless clearing it with the other two that they’d be gone for the night. It hadn’t happen yet (that you were aware of) and you were glad, unsure how you’d feel knowing one of your best friends was getting their dick wet and having to listen to it. 

Regular programming returned and tried as you did to focus on what was unfolding, you just couldn’t. Replaying Reiner’s laugh in your head and Jean’s hip motion, turning you warm all over and settling something funny yet familiar in your abdomen. You wouldn’t lie and say you haven’t though about fucking one of them, mostly they were just passing thoughts and that was it, but now? Jesus fucking christ your head was a mess. This what you get for turning down outings with other friends to study, leaving you hornier than a motherfucker. It’d be fine, the show only had about thirty minutes left and then you could go back to studying and rub one out if you really needed to. 

“I wonder why there aren’t any same sex couples? I’d like to see how that plays out.” Jean’s words had a slight slur to them as he spoke, now reclined completely with his feet propped up on the coffee table. 

“Wasn’t there one last season?” Reiner asked, in a similar position as Jean, one arm behind his head and his half drank beer between his thighs. 

“Mm no, I think Zach and Marco made out on a dare but they weren’t a couple.” Giving them an answer after searching through your brain for that jaw dropping scene from last season that had everyone talking about on social media.

“Oh yea I remember that, that was hot.” Jean slurred, heat dripping in his words and causing you to raise an eyebrow. Maybe it was because he was drunk, that was what you told yourself instead of questioning how your friend really felt about that scene unfolding.  

Every little movement either of them did drew your attention, watching as Reiner drank the last of his beer, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, only to be pulled away by Jean’s groans as he adjusted on the couch. They weren’t doing it on purpose and you were tipsy so that explained the clenching of your thighs to ease the throb, not because you were getting turned on by them. 

A preview of next week's episode played at the end of the premier, taking the liberty to watch it before getting up and heading back to your room to get your mind out of the gutter. But as you walked away, Reiner grabbed your wrist, pulling you back towards him lazily. 

“Leaving already?” 

“I said I’d watch the premier with you guys and then study before going to bed.” Ignoring how large his hand looked around your wrist and how warm it was on your skin, taking in a sharp breath. 

“It’s Friday though.” The blonde whined, the slight inebriation turning him a bit sappy. 

“Play a game of cards with us and then go, please.” Jean chimed in, fluttering those hazel eyes at you, begging to spend just a little more time together. 

Not giving it much thought, you let out a sigh and walked to the media console below where the T.V hung on the wall to grab the deck of cards. Surely there was a quick game the three of you could play that wouldn’t send your mind further into the gutter or put you in a compromising situation. Jean managed to get up and grab some water for everyone, tossing one to you and Reiner as he sat down on the floor behind the coffee table, leaning back into the couch for support. 

“One round of B.S, alright?” Shuffling the cards between your hands and the table, repeatedly doing so that way everyone played fairly. 

“Lame but alright.” Jean agreed, chugging some of the water and sharing a look with Reiner that you didn’t understand and didn’t care to acknowledge. 

Dividing the entire deck between the three of you, now waiting for one of them to put down the ace of spades to begin the game. Reiner ended up having it and motioned towards you to go next. This game used to be a staple for you guys, playing every chance you got and getting into heated arguments whenever someone suspected someone else of putting down the incorrect card. 

The game went quietly in the beginning, until you picked up on Jean and Reiner putting down cards that they ‘supposedly’ had, smiling behind your deck every time they called out cards that were in your deck, the only thing keeping you from calling them out was waiting until the deck got a little thicker. 

“Two eights.” Reiner called out, looking at you to go next. 

“Bullshit.” 

“Ha! You sure? Cause I promise you I just put down two eights.” Reiner laughed, encouraging you to rethink your decision but also egging you on to check in hopes of watching you take the entire deck. 

“Check it.” Jean motivated from beside you, pushing his shoulder with yours. Reiner still had that confident look on his face which did end up making you regret your call out a bit, second guessing if you were right to call his bluff. No matter what since you called B.S, you had to check and you were going to livid if it actually was two eights. 

Reaching forward and thumbing apart the top two cards from the rest of the deck, you snuck a peak and saw what you didn’t want to see; two eights. 

“Nevermind, I take it back.” Knowing that wasn’t how the game worked but hoping you could worm your way out of it. 

“Uh uh, check.” Reiner insisted while standing up, coming to lean over you from behind, taking your arm and trying to force you to check the first two cards so the entire deck would go to you. Doing everything to resist, laughing as the man behind you snarled and laughed in your ear, still trying to force you to check with his hand over yours. Jean was leaning over to help, slipping an arm under the one that held your deck in the other hand, sandwiching you between them for the second time that night. 

“Just check, it’s okay if you’re a loser this round.” The taller of the two sneered in your other ear, brushing his lips over the shell and letting out a breathy laugh. You instantly shivered and became much more aware of your position, Reiner pressed into you from behind and Jean from the side. Heat rose in your entire body, refusing to let yourself enjoy the firm muscular bodies rubbing against yours. 

Resistance faltered completely as you got caught up in the overwhelming thoughts and sensations coursing through you, Reiner succeeding in getting your hand to flip over the top three cards, chuckling directly into ear. 

“Now was that so hard?” So close to the side of your face, you couldn’t help but turn and meet him. His eyes were still a bit hazy from the alcohol but not enough for you to feel guilty for leaning in and pressing your lips to his. 

Reiner gasped softly, giving into the feel of your soft plush lips on his and parting them when he felt yours begin to. You had absolutely no explanation for what spurred you to lean in and kiss what you considered your best friend, but you did and fuck did it feel nice. Reiner’s lips were surprisingly soft and the lingering remnants of his beer on his tongue kept you latched to his mouth. 

Behind you, Jean watched intrigued, though not entirely shocked. He would feel left out if he weren’t enjoying his two best friends making out on the floor of the living room, noticing how his sweat pants turned a little tighter. He smirked when Reiner peeked an eye open, a silent invitation to join in while pulling away from you. Jean wasted no time grabbing you by the back of your neck and slotting his lips into yours, sighing delightfully and wasting no time moving them with his. 

There wasn’t enough time for you to process that it was Jean you were kissing now, your other best friend, letting out a small moan when his tongue dipped into your mouth. He was slightly more insistent than Reiner was, moving faster and with a purpose but still reeling you in as your mouths stayed locked together. 

Coming up for air, not even wanting to think about what had just happened, you stood quickly. 

“C’mon,” Nodding towards what you think was Reiner’s room, knowing that if you gave yourself a moment to consider what you were about to do, you’d back out and hole yourself away in your room and never speak of this again. 

Both of them were quick to follow, smiling victoriously behind you. The door shut and you sat on the edge of Reiner’s bed, looking at both of them and debating on how this should continue to carry out. Consequences could come later, right now you’d gotten a taste of what you’d been actively avoiding for the sake of a GPA and needing so much more. 

“However you want to do this, I’m down.” Voicing your consent and ultimately putting all of your trust in both of them. You would admit this could be smoother sailing since you’d known both of them since childhood basically, but just not like that. There wouldn’t be much need to worry about keeping them in check like you would if it were someone you went home from the bar with and part of that excited you. 

Out of the two of them, Jean approached first, standing between your legs and grabbing your face and kissing you again. Slowly as your mouths returned to motions from minutes ago, the taller man began to push you back into the bed, holding himself above you with his hands beside your head. The bed dipped in the sudden weight of another person, knowing it was Reiner. 

Slender hands slipped under your sweatshirt, roaming around your skin and littering it with goosebumps. You gasped when the lith fingers brushed the underside of your breast, remembering you weren’t wearing a bra. Jean chuckled into your lips, humming as he dared to cup the flesh, sighing pleasantly when brushing his thumb over your nipple. 

Abruptly his mouth left yours, leaving you dazed and sitting up to search for his lips, only to see hands that weren’t Jean’s pulling his shirt off. Reiner stood on his knees just behind your head, tossing the shirt to the other side of the room and giving a playful smack to Jean’s pectoral. 

“Sharing is caring by the way.” The blonde rumbled behind you, scolding Jean and pinching his nipple teasingly, hearing Jean hiss softly before Reiner slipped his arms under your armpits and hauling you to face him. He was in nothing but his boxer briefs, the faint imprint of his half hard cock catching your eyes and widening at how big it looked beneath the fabric. Fuck you hadn’t even thought about how big either of them were, both impressively fit and no doubt having a dick to match the rigid muscles rippling over their bodies. 

Falling with Reiner as he leaned back on the bed, you threw your legs over his torso and smashed your mouth to his, feeling another set of hands from behind you lift the hem of your sweatshirt until you were bare from the waist up. The man below you groaned when you sat up on his abdomen, running his hand across your stomach. Acquainted hands from earlier snakes around to your chest, Jean cupping both of your tits and softly kissing down your neck while circling his thumbs over your nipples. 

“Fuck,” Reiner breathed from below, raising his hips as he watched Jean tease and stimulate your nipples in to pert buds. Mindlessly, you began to scoot down until you came in contact with the bulge beneath Reiner’s boxers, grinding in time with Jean’s circling thumbs. The blonde groaned again, bringing his hands to your hips and encouraging you. 

“Eager huh?” A voice teased, pinching both nipples harshly and sucking the side of your neck. You couldn’t think of anything but the rising heat in your body, the teasing from Jean and the quieted groans from Reiner below. Maybe you were stupid for never giving this a shot before, both seemed eager and willing to please and show you what a good time looked like. 

“Are these my sweat pants?” Jean asked, pulling off of your neck and slipping one of his hands to the waistband of said sweats, snapping the band against your skin. 

“Mhm.” Unable to give any other answer as Reiner started rolling his hips up to yours, matching the roll of your own. Wasn’t intentional to wear either of their clothes but seeing how it looked now only made you more desperate for them and if that got you what you wanted, then where was the harm. Reiner began to tug at the waistband, sitting up on his elbows after hearing the short conversation between you and Jean, aiding him by lifting your hips and no longer straddling his waist. 

Enough teasing, you decided, pulling down Reiner’s boxer briefs after he tossed the sweats aside, gripping the base and watching his face contort at the contact. He was thick from the base up, intimidating you from the sight and size alone. Jean chuckled, moving to lay beside his friend, cupping the side of his face and hovering above his lips. Interesting to see there was no resistance from Reiner when their lips slipped together, craning to reach the ashy haired man like he was desperate for his taste. Smirking while the two of them made out, you flattened your tongue over the top of Reiner’s cockhead, fluttering your eyes at the delicious groan that Jean swallowed from Reiner. It’d take some working up to taking his dick all the way down, girthy enough to know your jaw would ache when it was all said and done. 

Sucking around the head and moaning when Reiner’s hand reached down to grip Jean’s dick still shielded by the fabric of his briefs, seeing his hand move up and down. Had they done this before? You couldn't help but wonder the more you took Reiner’s dick down seeing how they were both so comfortable with each other’s touch, and the slight jealousy of being left out. Jean’s hip rutted into Reiner’s hand, breaking their make out session to finally pull his briefs off and give you a look at what he was packing as well. It was slightly longer than Reiner’s, by an inch or two but not as thick, pausing your bobbing head to stare between his legs. 

“I think she likes it.” Reiner hissed, bringing a hand to your head, pushing you further down his dick and letting his head fall back when the tip brushed the back of your throat. 

“Haven’t met anyone who hasn’t.” Jean quipped back, moving off the bed and coming to stand behind you. You watched Reiner’s eyes follow him, a sly smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. Warm hands massaged your ass cheeks, gasping around the cock still deep in your throat when two fingers swiped over your clothed pussy. 

“Fucking soaked.” He commented behind you, Reiner groaning approvingly as he still guided your head up and down on his dick. Jean then pulled your panties down, tossing them over to Reiner who shamelessly brought them to his nose, listening to him mutter a few words and pull you off of his dick to give you a break. Jean then took to spreading you apart, licking a strip from your clit to your entrance, squeaking out a moan and falling forward onto Reiner’s abdomen. The blonde pulled you forward until your tits dangled in his face, taking one into his mouth. 

“Holy shit-” Gasping at the double stimulation, forgetting all shame and grinding back into Jean’s face, who appreciated the gesture with a firm slap to one ass cheek, dipping his tongue inside you, slurping obnoxiously. You were shaking, struggling to hold yourself up, moaning like the whore you felt like. Reiner managed to keep you steady above him, holding you so he could bite and suck at your over sensitive nipples. You knew both of them were experienced but fuck, they were intent on making it impossible to make any future hookups impossible to enjoy, hoping this wouldn’t be a one time thing. 

Reiner suddenly bit down hard on your nipple, pulling off it with a tug and causing you to wince at the slight pain. Unsure of what would cause him to do that, you turned around to see one of Jean’s hands between your bodies, languidly stroking the blonde’s spit coated dick. This wasn’t exactly the right time to question the nature of your two friends' relationship, but the way Reiner was moaning and struggling to return to the task at hand, it continuously flashed in the back of your head. Jean was still buried in your pussy while simultaneously jacking Reiner off, pressing your forehead to Reiner’s and practically synchronizing your moans. 

“Fuck, have you two done this before?” asking the man below you, watching his slow nod come before his answer. 

“Yea - fuck - every once in a while.” panting as his hips grinded into Jean’s hand, and sitting up enough to where he could pry the man away, seconds away from cumming. 

Jean took the hint, also pulling away from your pussy and stroking it affectionately. You winced at the final slap he gave to your ass, coming back to lay beside Reiner, taking the side of his face and turning it towards him. 

“Pussy tastes fuckin’ devine.” 

“Oh yea?” Bolding swiping his tongue over Jean’s bottom lip, speaking as if you weren’t there listening to them talk. You watched as they kissed again, yearning for the combined taste and chastising yourself for not noticing the signs for whatever they had going on sooner. 

“Think I need a better taste for myself, lay down for me baby.” Reiner instructed, already moving to get out from under you. Jean chuckled deviously, pecking the side of your mouth and moving to the very back of the bed, reclining against the headboard, patting his inner thigh. Reiner immediately knew what he was wanting and waited until you were sitting between the other man’s legs to center him between yours. 

“Keep’em spread for me.” Glancing up to the other man, running his palms over your inner thighs. 

You were already so sensitive from Jean eating you out minutes ago, you were afraid you weren’t going to last much longer. Nevertheless, you let Jean hook your legs over his and watched on baited breath as the blonde examined your slick and puffy folds. 

“Fuck, such a pretty pussy.” His voice so airy, breathing over your cunt prior to latching onto your clit. Your back arched off of Jean’s chest, whining at the intentionally harsh sucks. The man behind you held you down with an arm around your chest, chuckling right beside your ear. Reiner looked up, smiled against your tingling flesh and flicked his tongue over your clit while he continued to suck. 

Jesus fucking christ, it was too much, you were already starting to feel yourself cum when Jean’s hand tipped your head back. “Don’t cum, not yet gorgeous.” 

“Jean, I can’t.” Mewling pathetically, feeling the beginnings of tears at your waterline from the overstimulation. 

“Sure you can.” Giving a slow grind of his dick on your lower back, the promise of a silent reward if you did what you were told. Keeping your head thrown back on his shoulder you shamelessly moaned and whimpered as Reiner alternated between sucks and swirls of his tongue, listening to his chuckles as you writhed against Jean. He finally pulled away only to shove his middle and ring finger inside, pulling you too look at him by your chin as he sat on his knees between your legs and furiously fingered you. 

“Fuck look at you, so pretty baby.” He cooed with a smirk, running along the spongy part deep inside of you and giving a small tilt of his head, knowing you would take it as your indicator to cum. 

You came on a broken cry, arched off Jean’s chest and pulsating around Reiner’s fingers. Both of them laughed endearingly at their combined success at getting you to come. Reiner pulled his fingers out, locked his eyes with yours and sucked the two digits clean. Jean was the one who moaned behind you at the act, dick still grinding into your lower back subtly. 

“Think you’re okay to take one of us?” One of them asked, still delirious from your orgasm to tell who was asking. You gave a nod and sat forward, not really caring how but still feeling the ache in your cunt for more. 

“Alright hands and knees then princess.” It was Jean instructing, hearing his voice vibrate in his chest that was still pressed to your back. 

On shaky legs you sat on your knees, watching them move around as you positioned yourself on all fours. Reiner was still behind you, massaging your ass cheeks and letting out huffs of appreciation at your puffy wet folds, his and Jean’s handy work. Jean sat on his knees in front of your face, running a loose fist over his angry cock, using the pre-cum leaking from the slit to lubricate his motions. 

“If it’s too much, pinch my thigh or kick the brute behind you.” Jean swooned, holding your head up to look at him as he spoke, stroking his thumb over your bottom lip, watching the anticipation blaze in his irises. 

“We’ll take care of you angel,” Reiner pressed himself into your back, lips brushing against the shell of your ear and sending a shiver down your spine. All you could do was nod, witness the shared glance between both of them and wait on pins and needles. 

The fat head of Reiner’s cock started to slide between your folds teasingly, wetting the tip and making it hard to focus on your gentle kisses you were giving to Jean’s. It was good they were both aware of their size and knew they couldn’t just shove themselves in disregarding you completely, but holy shit, if your weeping cunt wasn’t enough to entice Reiner to slip inside you already then you weren’t sure what will. 

A hand held your jaw when you enclosed your lips around the tip, sucking long and slow, tasting the salty pre that continuously leaked out. Jean’s head was thrown back, the defined muscles cascading over his body clenching the more you took in his cock more. You could hear Reiner chuckle on a low breath, pushing just the tip inside of you and giving a full body shutter. If their goal was to drive you insane with their pace, it was working, taking things into your own hands and pushing your hips back into Reiner until you were flush to his pelvis. 

He choked, dug his fingers into your hip and somewhat growled with the ragged breaths he was taking. It was Jean’s turn to laugh now, the sound so disgustingly seductive you could feel yourself grow wetter around the cock you shoved yourself on. 

“God you’re fucking tight, feels so good.” The blonde breathed out, pulling his hips back nearly all the way, returning the favor by thrusting forward and sending Jean’s cock deeper down your throat. The hand not holding your chin tangled harshly in your hair, looking down with parted lips and hooded eyes at the sight and little reaction you gave. They may have known you all your life but they didn’t know how well you could take dick, letting a small amount of pride surge through you at their astonishment.  

Their rhythm synchronized quickly, settling somewhere in the middle of not too soft and not too rough, letting you adjust to their respective sizes. You knew it wouldn’t last before they abandoned it all and used you to find their pleasure, just from radiating restraint coming off of them, eventually fucking your throat and pussy like you were nothing but a hole to be filled and that thought alone was exciting. 

“Shit, do that again.” Jean breathily exclaimed, enjoying the method of your tongue swirling around his shaft as he plunged in and out of your mouth, tipping your head back with the hand still in your hair. Giving him a hum, you repeated the action, felt your stomach flip in on itself as he moaned prettily. 

There was a slight hitch in breath from the man behind you, faltering in his thrusts and seemingly regaining his composure. Something about Reiner experiencing the same surge of arousal as your were at Jean’s expression and action thickened the lust hanging in the air around you. He didn’t resume his pace like you were expecting him to, but yanked back into focus on Jean tightening his grip in your hair and pistoning his hips forward, fucking your throat with vigor, something snapping inside him. 

“There you go, gorgeous.” Growling, inhaling sharply through his nose. Your eyes were welling up with tears, the ache in your jaw beginning but you didn’t want to stop, not until his cum was trickling down your throat, leaving you no choice but to swallow. Reiner palmed both of your ass cheeks, spreading them far apart and slamming into with the same force Jean was. This sudden switch up had your legs nearly buckling, tears rolling down your cheeks and pathetic whines and whimpers muffled. Your pussy fluttered around Reiner everytime Jean thrusted down your throat, the wet squelching noise turning obscene, your gummy walls sucking the blonde back in over and over, like your pussy craved to be stretched and fucked on his thick cock. 

“Fuck she feels so good, so wet,” Reiner groaned, talking to Jean, again like you weren’t there. 

“Mm, she sucks cock better than you.” Jean groaned back at the mental image his friend was painting, acknowledging your mouth felt just as good as your pussy probably did. 

“Not my fault, you barely give me a chance before trying to get me inside you.” 

Their banter of a conversation sending you into a new wave of arousal, images of their bulky bodies fighting over who would fuck who and never in your life did you think something like that would turn you on. Despite it being your two best friends fueling these fantasizing images, you couldn’t help but want to be in the middle of that from here on out. From the way both of them fucked you, there wasn’t any desire to look for anymore hook-ups, not when the two perfect candidates were right here. 

“Gonna cum princess, be a good girl and swallow it all for me.” A husky voice drawing you back to reality, doing your best to give him a nod and look up at him with doe-like eyes, a trick that worked on just about every guy. 

With a slow drawn out groan, Jean pushed the entirety of his cock into your mouth and down your throat, pressing your nose to the happy trail below his belly button. Hot ropes of cum shot down your throat, feeling him ease up and pull out of your mouth so he wouldn’t accidentally choke you with his cum. He gave you a lopsided smile, wiping away the milky liquid from your bottom lip and the corner of your mouth with his thumb, shuffling over to Reiner who was still fucking your pussy absolutely raw. You could only assume the blonde cleaned off the cum smeared thumb Jean presented him, based on the hiss and brief collision of mouths. 

A heavy palm landed on the center of your back, forcing you off of your elbows holding you up and forming a deep arch in your back. From this angle, Reiner was able to sink so much deeper inside you, splitting you in half on his thick cock, crying out with a moan. 

“Glad I held off, been dying to hear those pretty moans again baby.” He chuckled, putting more of his weight into the hand on your back, forcing you to keep the arch. 

“Fuck Reiner, don’t stop.” Gasping, twisting the bedsheets in a tight fist, the tears welling up in your eyes again. 

“Don’t plan to, sweetheart, I want to see you leaking by the time I’m done.” 

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, unable to stop the constant moans and incoherent noises leaving your lips. Jean had come back into view, partially laying down beside you, keeping your hair out of your eyes and giving you a look of endearing smugness, like watching you getting fucked by Reiner was better than fucking you himself. 

Skin slapping on skin echoed in the bedroom, your body coated in a layer of sweat and your limbs so weak that if it weren’t for Reiner holding you by the hips now, you wouldn’t be able to keep yourself upright. Your spongy walls clenched repeatedly around him after another orgasm, unsure of how many at this point. 

“Doin’ so good, doll.” Jean cooed, pinching the nipple he had been messing with and muffling your broken squeak with a soft kiss, keeping you occupied. Reiner grunted, beginning to break his steady harsh rhythm and fucking into you furiously with abandon. His breathing turned into short gasps, letting out something of a whine, tipping his head back with two final slams of his hips before cumming inside of you. 

A familiar warmth filled your pussy, moaning weakly into Jean’s lips, giving up on holding your position. Reiner pulled out slowly, groaning as he watched a glob of his cum drip from your hole. You collapsed on the bed, forcing yourself to turn over and lay on your back, placing your hands over your eyes to ease the dizziness you were experiencing. 

Just when you thought all the nerve endings in your body were shot, you sprung forward when a flat tongue glided over your folds, seeing Reiner lap up the mess he made between your legs, smirking and moving out of the way so Jean could do the same thing. 

“Fucking filthy.” Muttering at the sight of them both taking turns cleaning you up, your legs twitching and tingling from sensitivity. They both looked at you guiltless, even though you were shaking with overstimulation that didn’t stop you from pressing Jean’s head into your folds, watching as he eagerly lapped at Reiner’s cum. They switched again, Reiner being gentler this time, only running his tongue across your messy slit twice before using his middle finger to shove some of it back in. 

Reiner moves out from between your legs to lay beside you, cradling the side of your face for the sole purpose of giving you a taste of his cum. You were just as shameless, moaning into the kiss and running your hand through his sweaty hair, feeling him smirk against your lips. He pulled away, grabbing Jean by the back of the neck and slotting his lips between his, kissing him rather tenderly. 

With zero strength to make it to the bathroom, let alone your room to grab a change of clothes, Reiner and Jean took the liberty of taking care of you. Both of them pulling on their sweats thrown around the room, Reiner cleaned your inner thighs while Jean went to your room to grab you some underwear after tossing you one of Reiner’s sweatshirts. All three of you situated yourself into Reiner’s king bed, you of course in the middle of them both. There was so point in going back to your room and studying, not when you had several unanswered questions. 

“So how long have you two been dating?” They both froze beside you, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little. 

“We’re not dating, we just fuck occasionally.” Jean answered, Reiner nodding to further reaffirm the statement, but you weren’t buying it. Their chemistry in bed was enough to convince you they’d been hiding a relationship from you. 

“You just fuck? No feelings attached?” 

“There’s obviously feelings when we’ve been friends this long, but we’re not exclusive.” Reiner responded, propping himself up on his elbow and looking in the direction of you and Jean. “We didn’t tell you because there wasn’t anything serious between us.” 

Okay, that made more sense than you were expecting too. But experiencing what you just did created a longing inside of you, one that might’ve been there that you didn’t want to acknowledge before now. Jean and Reiner were your best friends without a doubt, but they were also so much more than that and in order to not ruin the friendship, you shoved that deep down inside of you. 

“But,” Jean’s hands from behind turned you to look towards him. “We’re also not opposed to the idea of you being a part of this situationship.” 

“You’ve talked about this?” Surprised to know this wasn’t a coincidence happening, sounding like they planned this in a way. 

“Of course we have, do you know how long both of us have had a crush on you?” Reiner laughed, sending your mind into a flurry of confusion. They liked you? Like holding affectionate feelings beyond friendship for you? 

“Huh?” 

“Since junior or senior year of high school. We didn’t know we both felt the same way about you until after we had sex for the first time six months ago, agreeing that if it ever came to the point where you chose one of us over the other we would be okay with it.” Jean was speaking now, softly and almost lovingly, sending a blush to your face. 

“And we’ll never ask you to choose, if you want only one of us that’s fine and if you end up wanting both of us, that’s fine too.” Reiner spoke with the same inflection Jean did, softly smiling and looking at you endearingly. 

“I want both of you.” Blurting out without even thinking twice, hearing them laugh. But you knew you would rather have both than just one, it's always been the three of you. 

“Don’t decide now idiot, we’re being serious.” Jean pinched your shoulder with a frustrated grunt, rolling his eyes while Reiner just laughed softly. 

“We can talk about it more tomorrow, it’s late.” Reaching over to turn the lamp off on his bedside table, pulling you down under the comforter into his arms and kissing the top of your head. Jean shuffled behind you, pressing his chest to your back and kissing your cheek. 

For a few moments you refused to close your eyes, trying to break down all the new feelings and emotions you were experiencing, from earlier when you were at their mercy, to the confession from them both. It was in a way exciting, and whatever ended up happening between the three of you, it would work out in the end.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Idk if you've already posted about this but opinions on Jamil's relationship with Kalim?

I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about the Scarabia duo’s dynamic before, although not in this broad of a sense 🤔 I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try and condense my thoughts?

I think Kalim and Jamil’s relationship is one of the most complex among the core cast of 22. To simplify, it’s similar to “frenemies”, but it runs much deeper than that. There is a relationship on an individual level, but that in of itself also speaks to the expectations places on them in-universe , as well as real-world cultural differences.

I won't bore you with a summary of Jamil and Kalim's history I'm going to assume you did the required reading for that/j, but essentially their conflict is this: Jamil's family, the Vipers, have serviced Kalim's family, the Asims, for generations. Kalim sees Jamil as a childhood friend that has grown up alongside him, but Jamil sees Kalim as an ignorant and useless master. Jamil doesn't want to live this life of servitude, nor does he want to keep playing second fiddle to Kalim by downplaying his own abilities to maintain the illusion of Kalim being better than him. When this is revealed in book 4, Kalim tries to apologize to Jamil and even insists that they can still be friends or just start over as rivals. This offer is swiftly rejected by Jamil, who claims he wants nothing to do with Kalim anymore. Come book 5 though, Jamil informs us that he has decided to stay by Kalim's side for now, as it just isn't feasible for him to "break free" right away (Jamil wants to work on rebuilding his reputation, which has taken a plummet since book 4).

Now, before I move on with my thoughts, I want to point out a difference in how EN and JP presents Jamil and Kalim's relationship. JP is very clear in delineating that Jamil is a servant and Kalim is the master. Meanwhile, EN obfuscates the true nature of their relationship by labeling Jamil an "employee" and Kalim as the "employer", which come across as less of a power dynamic than that of servant and master and thus dampens the seriousness of his eventual emotional breakdown.

Another major difference which may impact how you see the duo is some book 4 dialogue changes. When asked by Grim why he doesn’t stand up to Kalim, Jamil very explicitly says in JP that Kalim’s father could make the Viper family suffer for it. In EN, this was changed to Jamil complaining that his parents would lecture him. In the original JP text, Jamil then continues and says that his whole family would be put out on the streets due to his own selfishness, and that’s something he won’t allow to happen. He also remarks that “this is the fate of those born a Viper”, referring to generational trauma. In EN, this doesn’t happen; Jamil just implies he doesn’t want to get scolded, which is admittedly a much… lesser consequence than what was stated in JP.

Please note that these differences between the original script and the localization may affect how some fans interpret Kalim and Jamil's relationship.

These are things I've mentioned in other discussions of "potential solutions" to this conflict, but I'll repeat them here before going into more detail since they are relevant. In book 4, Kalim offers Jamil whatever he wants (even the dorm seat and Kalim going home to his family). To this, Jamil refuses and states very clearly that "as long as Kalim exists", he can never be content. I feel that oftentimes this is interpreted very literally, as in "Jamil wants to kill Kalim because he hates Kalim and/or hates serving Kalim". But just because a character says one thing doesn't mean it's what they actually mean. If you think about it, what does killing Kalim do for Jamil? Aren't there countless other Asim siblings he could be sent to serve once Kalim is gone? What Jamil is literally saying does not make sense.

The other way to interpret his words is that Jamil is using Kalim as a scapegoat for all of his frustrations with larger problems that have no physical form or simple solution to them. Recall that their arrangement has been going on for several generations now—Jamil's parents, too, were given no choice in whether or not they wanted to devote their lives to the Asims, but it's all they've known and all they will enforce onto their own children to keep the cycle going. This is the root cause of Jamil's suffering—but he isn't exactly a time wizard, and there isn't a simple solution to something that has been brewing for hundreds of years. It's easier for him to cope with the unfavorable circumstances by directing his hatred towards someone convenient. And who could be more convenient to blame than the young master Jamil is forced to serve? He becomes the symbol, nay the face, of what Jamil detests about the system that put him here. This is a case of generational trauma and Jamil not knowing how to cope with it other than lashing out at someone who is unaware of his suffering.

On the other side of this equation, Kalim gets a lot of flack for not noticing Jamil's pain and not intervening to help him out despite claiming that he cares for Jamil. This coming from an omnipotent perspective (as in, we have all the information so we feel entitled to cast judgment on the characters), rather than from Kalim's perspective. We, the audience, understand Jamil's inner turmoil due to how the game presents us with each OB boy's backstory. Kalim doesn't get to have that. He may be an empathetic individual, but he also isn't a mind reader. Jamil actively hides his true resentment from Kalim. And if you were in Kalim's shoes, given everything you want and praised endlessly, why would you suspect your childhood friend, who is always at your side, to hate of you or to hate working for you (especially when Kalim is the type of person to blindly trust others)? Of course he would be totally oblivious. The Asims are so obnoxiously wealthy and privileged that they can afford to shelter their children from the harsh realities of the world, and that includes the plight of those that toil for their family. Kalim is not used to people telling him he's wrong or he sucks or he can't have something; it's how he was raised and in part why he remains largely ignorant of the real world. He shouldn't be faulted for how he grew up and the limited worldview that resulted from it; that’s something he cannot control. What he can control is his own behavior, and that’s why we see post-book 4 as he takes steady strides to earn recognition rather than be handed it simply for existing.

On the topic of Kalim intervening (whether that is through speaking with his own father and/or speaking to Jamil's parents), well... Firstly, I don't think Kalim is someone who would intentionally keep another in a bad situation out of malice or out of selfishness/not wanting to lose Jamil (as some have suggested). Yes, he deeply values Jamil's company, but I don't think he would keep someone with him knowing that they would be completely miserable even if he would be happy. Kalim is someone who cares so much for the wellbeing of others, especially his friends. He will literally give you the world at the slightest inconvenience. I suspect that there is another reason why he hasn't spoken to an adult about what went down: and that's actually consideration for Jamil’s situation.

Let's imagine a scenario where Kalim does approach his dad or the Viper parents. What exactly would he say? I suppose Kalim doesn't necessarily need to tell them about the OB, but just telling them "Jamil is not happy doing this" may not be enough on of itself to invoke a change of mind. To the Asims, they get capable people they can trust and keep close to them. To the Vipers (the parents), they are compensated for their work (Jamil implies the Vipers are quite well-off, though not to the same extent as the Asims) and are provided job stability. I don’t think either side would be willing to end a long-standing arrangement like what their families have so quickly just because there is one open instance of discontent. It is practically tradition and mindset at this point. The groups are mutually benefitting (at the cost of individual freedoms). Letting go of that isn't as easy as deciding whether or not it would be pleasant to be punched; it isn't a binary of "freeing the genie" or "keeping the genie bound to the lamp", there will inevitably be a mess left in its wake to clean up after. Again, this is generational trauma which has been normalized for generations and generations. It cannot be solved with a single conversation, the same as all the other OB boys' traumas.

Let’s say that Kalim does spill the beans about Jamil’s OB in an effort to convince them then (assuming they’d need some extreme justification). Wouldn’t that just make everyone panic and further damage Jamil’s reputation? What would the Asims and the Vipers think of him? Maybe Jamil would be released from his duties out of concern for Kalim’s safety, but what would this do to the Viper family as a whole? Jamil mentioned they could be thrown out onto the streets if they were dismissed from the Asims or found out to have so much as spoken out against Kalim. That fear could become their reality.

Another variant of "Kalim could do something about it" is simply "Kalim can release Jamil on his own". In book 5, Jamil even says that he will continue to be Kalim's aid "until Kalim dismisses him". So why not give Jamil the freedom he wants? Kalim himself seems pretty receptive to the idea, or at least to what he views as a very simple solution. Well, 1) there's no way their families wouldn't find out and question it, they are teenagers and cannot just give the middle finger and proceed to do whatever they want, and 2) again, consideration for Jamil. (It could also be said that the current Kalim just isn’t mature enough or emotionally ready to let Jamil go, but we’ll save this point to discuss later.)

Jamil cannot leave of his own will because he worries about what that would mean for his family and their livelihood. (Again, this harkens back to the line he had in JP where he said the Vipers could be thrown out into the streets.) They could get jobs doing something else, sure—but their reputations may be forever stained by departing from the Asims (especially if Kalim basically fires him). They could be scorned, ostracized, maybe even blacklisted, no matter how amicable the departure is. Kalim being Kalim would offer to pull strings to smooth things over for Jamil—but the thing is, that’s probably not what Jamil wants. He wants to be able to live free from the Asim’s influence, and likely has too much pride to accept assistance from them.

I would argue that social shame is a very subtle yet looming threat for the Scarabia duo, and particularly Jamil (especially if you look at the original Japanese text). Social shame is something that is prominent in Japan, and this aspect of Kalim and Jamil's story may not translate well for western audiences. Japan is a collectivist culture. That means the status of the group (the Viper family in this case) is more valued than the status of the individual (ie Jamil). In western countries, this is reversed and the individual is seen as more important than the group (individualism). Because of this, western audiences may not fully understand why Jamil is putting his family's needs above his own, why he doesn't talk back to parents that actively keep him down, or why he doesn’t just… rebel on the spot.

Jamil would bring intense social shame upon his family if he chose to leave or got fired. His behavior would reflect poorly on his family, likely attracting criticism of his parents for how they raised such a rebellious child and perhaps even limit the opportunities they have in the future depending on how intense the shaming is. He would feel guilty about being the cause for their fall from grace. Jamil is immensely worried about what his parents, his dorm mates, and society at large will think of him breaking from tradition and betraying the family for what would be seen as selfish and self-serving reasons. (Ideas which are all reflected in Jamil’s JP dialogue, where he comments on his own selfishness and how it could impact his family.) These may not seem very serious to those from western countries, but social shame and intense filial piety has the capacity to put so much pressure on an individual and cause their mental state to deteriorate.

Remember, too, that Jamil is already facing social shame at school for what he did in book 4 and he specifically says he has chosen to stay with Kalim to regain the lost rep. This is why he cannot be freed from his shackles as easily as Aladdin made a wish to grant the Genie his freedom. Jamil constantly has to consider the consequences and social ramifications of his own actions on his family and their wellbeing. Isn't it plausible, then, that Kalim, who is now aware of Jamil's true feelings but is also aware of the long-standing circumstances between the Asims and the Vipers, to bite his tongue and wait for less precarious conditions before even pitching the idea? Additionally, he would also technically be supporting Jamil's current wishes by standing aside for now (Jamil is willingly staying to aid Kalim in an attempt to rebuild his reputation). Is that not in the spirit of mindfulness that Scarabia extols? Mindfulness is not just knowing when to act, but when to not act. I think Kalim’s just doing what he can within a preexisting system to support Jamil’s decisions and (limited) autonomy.

Something that I feel often isn’t brought up is the responsibility that Jamil’s parents play in all of this. A lot of the blame is put on the Asims for hiring the Vipers as servants, but the fact of the matter is that the Viper parents are the ones forcing Jamil to be subservient to Kalim. They are also guilty in perpetuating the problem by projecting onto their eldest child and urging him to follow in their footsteps. Jamil is their child, so there should be some responsibility on them for not giving him the freedom to choose his own career path and teaching Jamil that he should keep his head down and always be inferior to Kalim. The blame isn’t squarely on Papa Asim (who isn’t even guilty of starting this relationship, it has been happening for generations before him; he’s just perpetuating it), this is a shared issue.

Now, as to whether or not Kalim and Jamil could or should be friends despite the bad blood between them?? It’s really on Jamil if he will reciprocate or not since Kalim already offered the olive branch. As it’s currently going, I don’t think it will happen anytime soon. There’s no doubt that a relationship with Kalim would be a valuable asset (not just for negotiating Jamil leaving and doing his own thing, but in general for the future), but whether the benefits outweigh the mental anguish of associating Kalim with his generational trauma is worth it… well, there’s no doubt that Kalim wants to start over, make amends, and be equals with Jamil, but it’s not up to Kalim to decide to make friends or not. That’s Jamil’s choice, and ironically one of the few choices he does have 😔

I do think Jamil would be happier away from Kalim for some time, finally allowed to enjoy solitude and doing whatever he wants to. Kalim would be sad about this, but then again who wouldn’t be sad to lose someone you consider your friend since childhood? That ability to let go is also something he has to learn for himself, and I feel that’s going to be a component to Kalim’s future character development.

Kalim has been doing his part to keep a distance from Jamil and develop his own agency and sense of awareness (at least in the main story; the events and vignettes are kinda screwy timeline-wise). Jamil’s working on getting over his own ego and learning how to use his own traits as strengths rather than wallowing about what he doesn’t have or looking down on others. They’re trying to improve themselves independently of one another, and I think that’s beneficial for them both.

I would personally label the Scarabia duo’s dynamic as a toxic one, but it’s not “toxic” in the way we typically think of. Often when we see “toxic”, we think of someone who is malicious and intentionally so. In Kalim and Jamil’s case, Kalim isn’t purposefully mistreating Jamil, but their circumstances are such that Kalim existing hurts him and starves Jamil of freedom. This causes Jamil to lash out (which is more closely aligned with what most would perceive as “toxic”)—but, in a way, many can understand and sympathize with Jamil’s actions. It’s like a never-ending cycle of hate 😔

I do find their dynamic (Kalim being a big ol’ gullible ball of sunshine, Jamil hovering and nagging him for being silly) entertaining on a surface level. However, it’s really stressful for me to observe them for prolonged periods of time knowing the family history keeping them in these arbitrary roles 💦 It’s quite interesting to look at their conflict on a larger scale rather than an individual one; it’s a problem with society and systems they can’t necessarily fix on their own, but when the question arises as to whether they can work together to tear down those expectations, Jamil’s pride and negative feelings for Kalim pose a roadblock.

[mostlyvoid-partiallyflowers]

The most recent episode of Interview with a Vampire let's us see Lestat's side of the story and see how it compares to Louis' accounting of their relationship. As a result, it reaffirms just how unreliable of a narrator Louis is, but it also further illuminates elements of his character that the director and writers have been playing with since the beginning of the show.

There's this part in the episode where Lestat turns to Louis and apologizes and it's framed with Lestat turned to Louis on one side and Claudia on his other side. They're the angel and devil on Louis' shoulders, but who is the angel and who is the devil? And as my friend said, Armand and Daniel are placed into that same dynamic with Louis later on. We are being asked to decide who to trust, who's telling the truth, who's the good guy, but the fact of unreliability robs us of that decision.

This whole story is about Louis, he's the protagonist, though not the narrator, and he is constantly being pulled in two directions, no matter when or where he is in his story. He's a mind split in two, divided by nature and circumstance. He's vampire and human, owner and owned, father and child, angel and devil. He's both telling the story and being told the story. His history is a story he tells himself, and as we've seen, sometimes that story is not whole.

Louis is the angel who saved Claudia from the fire but he's also the devil who sentenced her to an life of endless torment, the adult trapped in the body of a child. He's the angel who rescued Lestat from his grief and also the devil who abandoned him, who couldn't love him, could only kill and leave him.

He's pulled in two directions, internally and externally at all times and so it's no wonder that he feels the need to confess, first to the priest, then Daniel, and then Daniel again.

He's desperate to be heard, a Black man with power in Jim Crow America who's controlled by his position as someone with a seat at the table but one who will never be considered equal. He doesn't belong to the Black community or the white community, he can't. He acts as a go-between, a bridge, one who is pushed and pulled until he can't take it anymore. He's a fledgling child to an undead father, he's a young queer man discovering his sexual identity with an infinitely experienced partner. He's confessing because he wants to be absolved, that human part of him that was raised Catholic, that child who believed, he wants to be saved. He wants to be seen.

Louis wants to attain a forever life that is morally pure, but he can't. He's been soiled by sin, by "the devil," as he calls Lestat, and he can never be clean again. Deep down, I think he knows this, but he can't stop trying to repent. He tries to self-flagellate by staying with Lestat and then tries to repent by killing him, but can't actually follow through. He follows Claudia to Europe to try and assuage his guilt. He sets himself on fire, attempts to burn himself at the stake, to purify his body, rid himself of the dark gift.

Louis is a man endlessly trying to account for the pain he has caused and he ultimately fails, over and over again, because he can't get rid of what he is. A monster. He's an endlessly hungry monster. He's hungry for love, for respect, for power, for forgiveness, for death. He's a hole that can never be filled. He can never truly acquire any of those things because he will always be punishing himself for wanting and needing them in the first place. He will never truly believe he deserves them and as a result, can't accept them if they are ever offered. He can never be absolved for he has damned himself by accepting the dark gift and thus has tainted himself past the point of saving.

[chaoticedward]

so likeeee what’s your opinion on freedom fries(soldier x spy)?? imo i love them very very very much and im so starved of any content of them that just seeing them next to each other i go “GAYYYY?????” so i will gladly appreciate any content of them if you don’t mind!!!

ANON YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE HOW HAPPY I AM THAT YOU ASKED THAT; my thoughts on this ship are long as hell so its under the cut but tldr i love them so much

i ADORE freedom fries with my entire heart!!! i think they dynamic between these two is just so hilarious like it would never ever ever work in theory but in practice these two idiots compliment each other's personalities so well. its not even like "book smarts x street smarts" which is what im usually into its like. "complete lunatic x extremely fancy gentleman with 0 patience for idiocy" but somehow soldier slipped through the cracks. theres just something that draws spy to him. im not sure what it is and i dont think spy knows what it is either but he is just so so infatuated with solly

i think that maybe spy has this internal need to "protect" soldier from his own stupidity (man can and will get himself hurt, i mean thats just canon) and i think he'd get really mad and say "dont you ever do that again!!!!" to solly a lot when he does stupid stuff, but solly just smiles in response and spy melts into his arms and everything is okay.

ofc i think solly cares a lot too but hes def a little nervous!! he really doesnt want to screw things up and probably tries to prove that he can be a gentleman every now and then (ending in horrible failure, which then ends with the two laughing and kissing) but usually he is just absolutely himself around spy and spy just adores him and his unpredictability

i actually have a whole tf2 fanfic thats abt 115,000 words long (im a huge writer) where freedom fries takes place for a little bit (but things dont work out since the Spy is a Spy, and soldier and engineer have some history) but i REALLY want to write another fic where they do work out because i essentially only included them in the story becuase i. simply wanted to indulge my love for this ship fskjfs if i ever do any freedom fries drabbles ill post them with art!

PLS PLS PLS if you have any freedom fries ideas or headcanons send them in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will very gladly draw them!!!!

[itsclydebitches]

I really want to take a moment to appreciate the conversation between Roy and Trent in 3x02, as a part of Ted Lasso's larger commentary on toxic masculinity.

Because these two are classic nerd/jock archetypes, yeah? (At least on the surface. The fact that they're far more complex than that is kinda the whole point.) Roy Kent is the handsome, talented, scariest motherfucker around, able to treat people like shit and still earn the devotion of the fans because he possesses the coveted Sports Skills. Trent, in contrast, is the queer kid who was never able to participate in sports himself, instead needing to turn to writing about them to find that in. As he tells Ted, for him sport is the metaphor and his words, delivered with an "edgy" style that pulls no punches, defend Trent in a way he's never been able to defend himself physically; they gain respect in a field where he'd otherwise be considered a joke. ("Is this a fucking joke?") Plus, given the implied backgrounds and present day characterization, I don't think it's much of a reach to believe that scathing articles like the one Trent wrote contain a certain amount of bitter satisfaction: Roy is "over-hyped," "mediocre," "disappointing," and driven by "rage." If that doesn't sound like a bullied kid finally getting back at all the jocks Roy represents, I don't know what does.

Notably, they repeat a version of this history during Trent's first week at Richmond. He's easily the most anxious we've ever seen him, jumping at loud noises, hands twitching in his pockets, very self-consciously trying to form a connection with the players and failing miserably. Trent is without his armor now - that of a high-profile journalist, safe behind his cutting words - and he's unable to rebuild any given that he's being denied the chance to write his stories. Why is that the case? Because top dog Roy Kent has decreed that no one talk to him. Now, we know based on Roy's characterization and what's revealed later in the episode that this is done out of a desire to protect his players from the abusive press, but outside of that context this looks a lot like the popular kid playing the part of a bully. Trent is the new kid entering class, being clocked as the outsider, briefly welcomed by someone with no prior bias (Dani)... and then that's shut down real fast from Roy. Funny as Ted Lasso is (and I was legitimately cracking up throughout the episode) there's also something extremely disquieting - in a very familiar way - at watching someone go from, "Hi! :D" to "FUCK YOU!" all on the say-so of someone with a lot of authority and social power. This dynamic continues throughout the whole week, with Trent growing more and more on edge until, finally, he just gives in. When Roy starts popping balloons he doesn't stand up for himself and demand that he share their office respectfully, Trent just tries desperately to ignore the bullying - and it is bullying, given that Roy stops popping the moment Trent leaves - and then quietly runs away, acting apologetic as he goes. When the players refuse to discuss strategy with Trent he tries to leave again, defeated, which is a far cry from the doggedly confident reporter who would wait for Jamie after practice. Woven among the humor, Trent is at his most vulnerable here, looking more and more like the victim in a hostile, traditionally masculine space.

Of course, given that this is Ted Lasso, the situation is far more complex than just, "Bullies exist and that's #bad." The locker room scene is initially set up to look that way, in large part because it takes place in a locker room/bathroom. AKA, two spaces where bullying tends to occur unimpeded - and we've already seen that in Ted Lasso back when Nate was the underdog, cowering before the rest of the Richmond team. Roy's control over the group is so complete that no one dares challenge his order to ignore Trent (except, of course, Ted himself. The guy who sparked Roy's growth from the get-go) even though the group is clearly very relieved when the ban is lifted. Roy screams at Trent, making him jump, and orders him into the semi-privacy of the showers. It speaks volumes to me that Ted feels the need to give a reassuring nod and that Trent clearly needed it because, again, outside of the fact that they're both obviously adults now and that on a surface level this moment is meant to make us laugh, this is all very reminiscent of the bully pulling the nerdy kid somewhere where he can hurt him without consequence, all while everyone sits there and watches, not really wanting it to happen, but not willing to stop it either. Everything from the setting, to Trent's defensive body language, to Roy pushing the wallet against his chest in a move reminiscent of the classic shove to start off a beating, all of it heavily implies that kind of bully/victim dynamic.

But, as said, it's not that simple. Because Roy isn't the bully here and Trent, crucially, isn't just the victim. The scene goes on to reveal that Trent is the one who has caused Roy harm, by printing a unnecessarily cruel article when he was just seventeen years old. (A revelation that pairs very nicely with his introduction this season - "Love that" - reminding us that just because Trent approves of others standing up to bullies doesn't mean he's never been one.) That was a decision that "wrecked" a young Roy, to the extent that he kept that quote in his wallet for years, only now reaching a point where he can admit how much that hurt him. Trent's explanation is understandable given his heavily implied backstory. Not that he was trying to build his career, but that he would do so by "seeing the worst in people" and hurting them first before they could hurt him. Roy was right all the way back in Season One, Trent is a colossal prick... but that's likely because others were colossal pricks to him first. Here then, we see that cycle of abuse once more, the same one Nate is currently trapped in. The difference, however, is that when Ted says, 'Your ego is hurting us, Roy' Roy listens and when Roy says, 'You really hurt me, Trent' Trent listens, and the three of them together put a stop to the cycle then and there. Trent apologizes. Roy forgives him. Roy lifts the ban and by the end of the episode they've reached a place where they can speak honestly with one another. Not just about Roy's feelings - which is a HUGE thing for him to make Trent privy to - but about the complexities of Trent's career too. We've already seen that balancing the truth with compassion is fine line for him to walk - as evidenced by him texting Ted, but still publishing his article about the panic attacks; leaving his job, but still sniffing out the Richmond story - but here we get the reversal of that. Trent has already said, 'I'm working on emphasizing the ethics of my profession' and now Roy comes in with 'I'm working to admit that a cruel article isn't necessarily an inaccurate one.' He did play like shit at Chelsea and though Trent didn't need to break the spirit of a seventeen year old, the players do need to come to terms with the fact that they're in a high profile career where everyone is judging their performance (something Ted himself is all too aware of). This is the kind of nuanced understanding that's only possible post-apology/forgiveness, wherein the story has reminded us, 'Victims are capable of becoming bullies themselves and they need to own up to their actions just as much as they deserve an apology themselves.'

All of which is REALLY important for the framing of Nate's arc because he is in Trent's position, poised somewhere between victim and bully. It's obvious the ways in which Nate was a victim of the Richmond team, of his father, and even of the public, but it's significant that he's still a victim even as he now consciously hurts others too. Rebecca had a long speech this episode about how charming Rupert is, how he'll pursue you and in the process make you feel like you're the most important person in the world, someone chosen... and though she was talking about Zava, all I could think about was Nate. He's still being charmed and wooed by Rupert, what with the compliments and the new car, but all of it comes with reminders that he's worthless without that approval (surely a cleaning lady must have parked there...). Rupert is the top dog at the moment, his oh so benevolent popularity extending to Nate, encouraging him to model that behavior in order to keep his interest... but inevitably Rupert will toss him aside, just like he did with Rebecca. He'll become bored and Nate will have to grapple with the fact that, in his effort to avoid being a victim, he became the bully instead, just like Trent had. Rebecca is waiting to help Nate understand the ways in which Rupert can demolish your sense of self-worth. Trent is waiting to help Nate understand how to own up to your mistakes. And of course, there's Ted Lasso in the wings, the American outsider who can offer a much needed, compassionate perspective on the whole of it - as well as some personal insight into panic attacks during interviews. The entirety of the Richmond community, thematically, is being built into a reflection of Nate's struggle; a collection of experiences and wisdom and kind-hearted insight that can help him if (when!) he chooses to accept it.

[rhaenyradelights]

when you say rhaenyra is not daemon’s childwife, what do you mean?

this has been ennumerated exhaustingly by people much better with words that i, but they very very very specifically do not get married until rhaenyra is a grown woman, and that is both a result of daemon's aborted attempts at "saving her" from him, and a source of real deep pain for rhaenyra. it is so incredibly important to the crux of their dynamic that rhaenyra's childhood was marked by the euphoria of being around daemon and then long (frequent) periods of being separated from him. that's where the whole vision at harrenhal comes in....

he sweeps in and then he leaves the wreckage behind. and though a very large part of this is because of viserys, and daemon's continual banishments as punishment, it still harms her irrevocably. and even as he takes her to the brothel, he stops, and he does try to save her. it was never going to work, but it's like. very important that he tries. and not only does he try, but he leaves for a decade. and he is entirely ready to leave her again and go back to pentos with the dragon twins, before she stops him. and she, as an adult, proposes a marriage that is both politically advantageous but also an attempt to stop the constant wounding from abandonment that she carries with her. they get married in the style of old valyria, with a blood bond (are they not already bonded by blood), so that he can never leave her again in any way that matters.

but at this point. she's an adult. he's left her alone for ten years, and her childhood before then was a tapestry of dashed hopes. in all the spaces he left behind grew her fears of inadequacy, her fears of abandonment, her fierce attempts at Becoming Him when he wasn't there to be himself, an independent life carved out of a very particular cage of expectation but still, in rhaenyra's own word's, droll tragedy.

and so now when they fight, they are bringing a specific set of hurts and resentments and histories - tied to viserys of course, but also a result of the rope-burn from the stretched cord between them, and the tension between rhaenyra's current role as his queen that he must prostrate himself for, and his wife/niece, who remains, as always, the most beloved person in his life.... and rhaenyra's knowledge that even as he has married her, crowned her, and serves her, she can never truly stop him from getting on caraxes and acting of his own free will, and leaving her. he is the sword, he wants to be beholden to her and serve her, but she is not his childbride, and she never was, and that's a source of profound regret and also the site of some of their deepest pain.

[catatonic-bug]

There's one Spectra and Gus episode I need to talk about.

So we’re all familiar with how Gus and Spectra’s dynamic remained almost unchanged throughout NV – Spectra’s blinded by his pursuit for power so much so that there is a visible neglect in how his relationships with other characters develop; so is the case for his relationship with Gus. BUT there have been a few hints and moments between them that hold potential for growth and scratch the surface of something more than only a master and loyal right-hand dynamic – their time on Earth, the jacket scene, Spectra apologizing for the first and only time in this entire season and he does it to Gus – but now I’m going to mention an episode that is the perfect example for the small changes that Gus and Spectra go through individually and as a pair. 

I’m talking about ep. 33 of NV.

It’s a good opportunity to point out how the eng ver of the title - Brontes’ betrayal – completely misses the point of the episode. Because episode 33 as the jp title says, is actually centered around feelings – specifically the feeling of love and the many forms that it can take.

There’s the example of family love shown in the scene of Baron and his younger siblings.

Then, through Klaus’ words, the bond between the brawlers is another form of love and it’s the source of their strength, something that at the moment Spectra can’t comprehend.

And the 3rd form of love would be the bond that Bakugan and their partner share – it’s an example of strong devotion and trust and it’s shown through Volt’s remorse and attempt at reaching Brontes’ heart.

Through this episode Spectra and Gus go through their own separate missions in which they are both faced with examples of these strong feelings.

From Spectra’s pov, his plan of catching the brawlers by surprise fails, instead he meets Klaus, who talks about the importance of love and how Spectra lacks it. Spectra thinks he can prove everyone wrong and change history itself, for the time being he doesn’t have the patience to listen to a stranger’s babble about feelings.

First thing he does when he returns on the ship is look around and call out Gus. Why did they feel the need to include this small moment? Perhaps because after being betrayed by the Vexos, Gus is the only person Spectra can trust; without Gus, he is completely alone at this point of the season. So perhaps this scene is included to show how Gus has grown to be an important person in Spectra’s life. Perhaps. We shall never know.

On the other side, Gus witnesses Volt actively giving his all to make Brontes forgive him and come back to his side. Volt fights with everything he has and Gus finds it foolish and unnecessary. But at the end of the battle, Gus says this:

This is the moment Gus realizes the sacrifice Volt was ready to make for Brontes and it’s something he is always ready to do as well when it comes to Spectra (a great foreshadowing for what he does in episode 39). He recognizes these strong feelings but it’s not certain he knows how to name them.

To sum it all up, this episode brings out the emotional side of some characters and the importance of their bonds and connections. Spectra and Gus seem to have a lot to learn about these feelings and so through these experiences they reach their own conclusions. Spectra is yet to admit he needs friends, closure, he needs Gus more than he cares to admit and only after he loses him several episodes later, does he realize it. It would have been nice to get a glimpse of Spectra remembering his conversation with Klaus later on when he feels the absence of Gus or when he decides to join the brawlers. But alas! These are the crumbs we have to work with 😭

Thanks for reading my rant!! I tried to keep it as short as possible cuz I could write a whole dissertation about these 2 🫡

[the-kingshound]

I get what anon is getting at, i would also be sad if Arthur started seeing my MC as a threat because of something that happened during a whole ass war but i also see the other side of not being hypocritical. This is an adjustment for both Arthur and MC. Just like we can't expect Arthur to trust MC from the get-go or expect the relationship to have trust from the start... that would be so wildly unrealistic.

1. This is an arranged marriage it's between two complete strangers.

2. MC was basically not consulted in any way if they actually wanted this AT ALL!

3. The animosity towards MCs family name can't simply be swept under the rug.

4. The dynamic of now knowing MC is a battlemage is something new completely with the king being married to a magic wielder when his dad completely tried to eradicate anyone like them.

5. If you can't romance Arthur because he was a little apprehensive of MC i think that's a bit silly knowing all I've mentioned above plus the fact are we expecting MC to also trust Arthur completely and not see them as anything other than an extention of their evil father without expecting Arthur to EARN that trust and love?

Relationships are about getting to know each other, no? Sometimes, people start off on the wrong foot or with preconceived notions about each other and end up falling in love. I like those stories. No one just trusts someone they just met, especially with a history like the one we have in the lore of this game. That would make zero fucking sense and i would expect Kal wouldn't write an MC that Naive.

Especially in enemy territory. I love the internal struggle of wanting to trust and just being that scared of getting betrayed by someone you've started to care for.

Lol sorry for the essay Kal. 😅💕

Don't ever apologize! I love reading all the insight you and everyone else has on the story💞

I agree that Arthur is justified in not fully trusting MC, and MC is justified in not trusting MC. The only difference in their situation, as far as the marriage goes, is that in the new lore it's Arthur who extended the peace treaty through marriage, while MC was simply obligated to comply.

But other than that, both have just come out of a months long civil war from the opposite sides. I think a bit of time to adjust to the new situation is needed on both sides.

[readreactrant]

"Love, or Something Ignites" might just be the best goyuu fic ever!!! let me explain!!! (Thoughts and Review)

Some quick context but cuz this review was already going to be pretty long without my flashback sequence so pls scroll down to the red text if you don't want to hear my history of opinions with JJK and its ships.

I've been deep in the goyuu tag since the beginning of the year, which I found kind of strange at first since I watched S1 way back in 2022 and did not give much of af about the whole show.

I kicked my feet a bit at SukuFushi,  tried to like it more, and even searched out a couple of fics but they just weren't giving AT ALL.

At the start of 2023 I watched jjk 0 and I was kinda hyped to get back into the show, but my shipping heart still ached for something to latch onto so I went on AO3 and picked up the first fic I found. Surprise, surprise, it was a goyuu fic featuring role reversal. I wouldn't say I liked it but it did tickle something in my brain I would have explored if I wasn't neck deep in my bakudeku era at the time.

Then S2 happened and it all just sorta clicked for me. Before then I'd mainly been a SukuIta believer, I didn't frequent their fics but I DID gobble up their twincest doujins like I was starved when I had the time. 2nd cour of S2 coming out practically sealed Goyuu for me, I'd always felt there was a bit of something I saw between them but Yuuji screaming out for Gojo in that last frame...just...*chef's kiss*

I didn't go back to rewatch S1 where a majority of their reactions were like some diehard fans would but the clips and screencaps I've come across now and again are enough to solidify for me that yes! They are made for each other!! (Hope the wrong stsg fans don't find this ◉‿◉)

I'd really love to go on and on about their dynamic but this was supposed to be about my February fic of the month, "Love, or Something Ignites" by lainebee.

Like I said, I've been deep in the tags and the only others I think that come close to this one are "No Sanctuary" by eddie01 and both world's sequels.

Now I'm not saying there aren't other good ones, like I'm just halfway through the hundred and something AO3 pages of their ship tag, so there's a lot I've yet to see. Still, this is a sorta subjective review and I just hope to spread the word of this masterpiece and maybe meet others who've read it so we can fan together in the comments.

(Now that's all out of the way, there will be mild spoilers and also warnings for; omegaverse, mpreg, and voyeurism so let's hop to it (✿^‿^)

The fic is set in a historical Japan au where Yuuji and Sukuna are brothers, with Sukuna being much older and ruling over a kingdom in the south. Thing is, he's constantly at war with the Gojo clan cuz these two mfs are just built like that in every verse. Shit happens and they come to a truce and as a sign of goodwill Sukuna offers Yuuji, his recently presented omega brother, as a gift (I honestly thought Yuuji was like 16 or 17 but he's 19 so like whatever idc (╥﹏╥)

"So what's the problem?" you might ask, well aside from the obvious marriage of convenience plot, Gojo doesn't give a fuck, he's still hung up on Geto (kinda tho, it's complicated but they aren't in love) and he's pretty much intended to go through it for show.

But that's not the end; not only do our boys have no feelings for each other and have never even met, but THING IS... Sukuna has demanded a public consummation cuz he's a bastard like that and we love him for it. Worry not there's no fucking on a stage for everyone to watch...just fucking in a 'room' for a handful of witnesses to watch from behind those dresser screen things (vocab not working lol).

The fic is definitely kinda long and tho there are some slow-burn vibes a lot of it essentially takes place in ONE FUCKING DAY. My first assumptions going into this were, "pacing issues???" and "oh the author is going to either insta love them, make them fuck and spend the rest of the fic doing fluff, or they will fuck with some angst then spend the rest falling in love."

Color me surprised when yeah, they did fuck but that was one or two chapters from the last of about nine.

You expect this kind of shit to feel rushed as fuck but the writing is so fucking divine that you never feel like putting it down. There's always so much going on but time is never wasted dwelling on one subject for too long, it's fast, it's funny, and the characters and setting are constantly giving the energy you know and love from the original show but probably two times better.

One of the things I noticed a few GoYuu writers struggle with is accurately reflecting Gojo cuz he's actually an enigma and arguably one of the most complex characters in the show with a broad range of emotions. He doesn't particularly fit one kind of vibe whereas for everyone else you can pick one or something close to it. Gojo on the other hand goes from one end of the spectrum to the other pretty quickly and that's super hard to capture and explore, especially when it comes to the shorter smutty fics (Not complaining too much tho, I live for the E rating.)

I love the direction the author chose to go with him, and it feels so true to his character, his immature but his teasing doesn't feel over the top or come off as exaggerated. His status as the strongest is just told but shown to us with the way he behaves and I like that we get instances of him getting work done despite knowing he's a rebel. It reminds us that yeah, he's working to make the clan the way he wants but he's just going along with what he has to in true Gojo fashion.

Yuuji, is totally something else, it's implied that he actually killed people...and I don't think we got a paragraph of him feeling guilt over it but that's somewhere toward the end so forget it. Yuuji is the absolute sweetest here and I adore every scene he's in along with how bratty he tends to be with Gojo. It's not frequent and most of the time he's pretty respectful but when he's not...Yeah. His inner thoughts and his conversations with most of the other characters really bring life to the story and you literally feel you're right there with him through it all.

Then there's the smut...oh. my. fucking. GOD. It's absolutely delicious. If you were iffy about it being omegaverse, I beg you to actually consider it cuz all probably more than four thousand words of it are fucking precious.

I had no idea I'd be into sex with some commentary when I began reading but the conversation from the characters picked was spot on and even added to the spicyness.

My favorite part is when Yuuji moans like a fucking pornstar and the zenin guy (forgot his disgusting ass name) goes "The boy is a whore."

Like boohoo bitch just say you wish you were getting all that, I wish I was (╥﹏╥)

If you're still iffy about the Omegaverse trust me it's not that big of a deal, the focus is mainly on Gojo and Yuuji trying to find some mutual ground to get on so the consummation isn't fucking awkward but by talking, joking, and getting to know each other something even more starts to blossom.

There are definitely traces of insta love but I personally see it as a weird mixture of attraction and possessiveness but this book is just like the prelude to the main course which is the second part in the series which I'm not done with yet but fucking hell...all the intrigue and tension that you will find in Love, or Something Ignites, gets doubled with more angst and mystery in the second fic, along with goyuu being stupid as well as stupidly in love.

So give it a try, and if you have, let me know what you think. I'd usually say where the tiny flaws are but for this book there are none...unless you count Yuta being Maki's mate instead of Rika's but that's my personal hill to die on. Let me know if there's a fic you want me to write about and I'll maybe get to it

Well, that's all from me today, it's 3 am and I'm fucking exhausted.

[tokiro07]

Ichi the Witch ch.2 thoughts

[Woo-hoo! Witchy...Man...]

(Contents: character analysis - Ichi/Uroro/Desscaras, predictions - narrative progression)

Okay, chapter 2, and once again I feel compelled to talk about it! I'll take that as a good sign for my engagement with the series going forward

Not only is ch. 2 even prettier than ch. 1, but it expands on a few things that I felt were missing last week, helping to strengthen the story in my mind

Where last week felt like it was meant specifically to set up the high concept of the series (boy becomes first male witch) and the basic philosophy (killing with purpose is hunting, killing without is murder), this week gives us a bit more depth into the cast themselves and their greater purpose

Ichi the Healer

Naturally, the most noteworthy exploration of the chapter is certainly Ichi himself, at least to me. I said last week that his philosophy of "death for death" seemed like a thin veil separating him from his base desire to kill, and given the gleam in his eye when he heard the word "hunt" in this chapter I stand by that as a possibility, but his actions this week imply a much greater commitment to his claim of respecting life than I initially gave him credit for

He didn't seem too broken up about it when he was shown the damage he had inadvertently done to the land, but the moment he was told there was a way to fix it, he did so without hesitation. Ichi was likely capable of forgiving himself for something he did completely unintentionally because it was on such a grand scale that he didn't think there was any use dwelling on it, but with the capability of making reparations came the responsibility to do so. The cost of being unconscious for a few days is paltry in comparison to bringing back the lives he inadvertently took, and that speaks to his opinion on life far more than the circumstances that allow him to justify killing

I don't know how or if Nishi intends to develop the dichotomy of Ichi's desire to hunt and his desire not to do unnecessary harm specifically, but I'm glad we got to see both extremes so early

Likewise, I think that there's a bit of a dichotomy in Uroro's character as well, though a bit more subtly

Shoulder Devil

As I predicted, Uroro isn't dead, he's more sealed within Ichi, presumably a familiar pactbound to the one who passed his trial. I don't know if other Magiks behave the same way, but I could go either way on it. If they do, that would give us a Shaman+Guardian Ghost or Weapon+Meister style dynamic, but that could also carry the risk of overloading us with new characters when a Witch has acquired multiple Magiks. I imagine they tend not to since there's no indication that Desscaras has a bunch of familiars hanging out with her, but they might also just not be inclined to come out at the moment

In the meantime, Uroro immediately tries to use his familiar status to manipulate Ichi into putting himself in danger, which would theoretically get him killed and allow Uroro to be released. When he gets called out on it, he notes that he has more motivations beyond trying to regain freedom: he also doesn't want to be forced into serving the Witches

While Uroro looks down on humanity, he doesn't seem to be a heartless monster, as he refuses to turn on his own kind. We'll need to see him interact with other Magiks first to get a clear picture of his opinion on them as individuals, but considering that he cites the depth of their history, we can reasonably assume that he holds the species itself as a whole in high regard

This sets up a strong conflict of interest for Uroro going forward, as he will be forced to face off against other Magiks, and there will most likely come a time when he needs or wants to do so. Like how Ichi won't kill until he's given external justification, what will it take for Uroro to justify turning against one of his own? Will it be because a particular Magik angers him? Will one stand between him and his freedom? Will one have clearly sided with humanity or disrespected Magik culture?

Whatever happens, how will Uroro reconcile that? How will he forgive himself? Will he even need to, or is he a hypocrite who's perfectly willing to fight his kind so long as it's not on behalf of humans?

Of course, this projection is assuming that Uroro is meant to be Ichi's partner who will develop alongside him, rather than the series' main antagonistic force deliberately trying to thwart his development at all times. Obviously, he's going to think he's that for the foreseeable future, but the question is whether that will always be the case or if sooner or later he'll turn around. I always thought Sukuna would have that kind of development, but ultimately that wasn't the case, so I won't make that assumption at face value this time

Now, if Uroro is the Sukuna of this series, then Desscaras is likely the Gojo

The Strongest Teacher

Ichi's situation is a little different from Yuji's, in that if Ichi dies, Uroro goes free, while Yuji's death would weaken or ultimately erase Sukuna. However, to keep these ultimate monsters in check, the ultimate sorcerers of these respective worlds decide to take these vessels under their wings

Unlike Gojo, though, Desscaras immediately loses control of the situation, with Ichi doing his own thing and getting her into trouble with her superior and making her regret her decision to look after him. They're both goofy characters, but Desscaras' power doesn't protect her from getting comeuppance for her self-aggrandizing and transparently nasty personality, which to me makes her a more endearing iteration of the same basic trope

While we don't know what her teachings will look like at this exact moment, this chapter does give us at least a little glimpse into what to expect for the series going forward

On the Hunt

I probably should have seen this coming when the narrator called the Witches "hunters," but of course the Magiks need to be literally hunted. It's what Ichi is best at, so it would be odd to make him learn a new skillset to use in an unrelated context

With hunting solidified as the feedback loop, I think we can expect something akin to Toriko, an adventure where the cast needs to determine the locations, personalities, habits, weaknesses etc. of the various Magiks to facilitate passing their trials. However, since we learned of an academy in the first chapter, it's also possible that it'll be more of a mission-based structure like early Soul Eater, using the school as a hub until a Magik has been located

Personally, I would rather the locating be a big part of the hunt, but I can see how that would slow the pacing, so I won't be too broken up if it isn't part of it. Plus, having the rest of the core cast be students rather than professionals makes it a bit easier to incorporate them into the story, so there would certainly be benefits if it ends up happening. Whichever way the chips fall, I'll talk more in-depth about it when we get there

Whether it's a school or a business, though, I highly doubt that Ichi is just going to accept organizational regulations at face value and go along with "tradition." He's the first and only man ever to become a Witch, and he possesses the King of Magic; even before being introduced to the world proper, he's already a shakeup to the established order, so his methods must not only be outside of the norm, but a necessary addition to reform outdated ways

As Uroro says, Magiks are "an indigenous species" being preyed upon by the Witches, who certainly are trying to further their own power. It's all well and good for Desscaras to say it's for a noble goal like protecting people from rampaging monsters, but it's undeniable that Witches grow in strength after acquiring a Magik. There's simply no way that all of them are trying to make the world better, and based on her personality, I highly doubt that Desscaras is either (though she may surprise me). Even if they are, they definitely don't hold the life or well-being of the Magiks in any regard

This is where I think "death for death" comes in; Ichi will absolutely respect the Magiks. Whatever locations they hide in, however they interact with nature, Ichi will undoubtedly take the time to respect and understand them, even if that understanding leads to him deciding that there's no value in hunting them. The prejudices of the Witches likely equate to "Magik = target," but Uroro suggests that they have their own society and culture, so a fresh perspective like Ichi's will likely be necessary for finding mutual peace between the two races

Or at least, that's what I hope. It could easily turn out that the Magiks are wholly malefic and only introduced spells to the Witches to sew discord among humanity, and they're ultimately no different from the Curses of JJK or the majority of UMAs in Undead Unluck. I would much rather this series, with its themes already reminiscent of the circle of life ideology, find a way to work in an angle of coexistence, but I won't proclaim that the series is bad if it goes a more common direction

Conclusion

I...did not expect this post to go this long, honestly. I figured each segment would be one paragraph and I'd move on, but apparently I'm incapable of being concise. Oops!

But again, the fact that we're two-for-two on this series' chapters making me write reviews on par with those I write for Undead Unluck each week is a great sign for how much I currently like and can expect to like this series in the future. It could end up losing me sooner or later, especially if it gets overly complex in its power system and geopolitical worldbuilding, but for now looking forward to how both of those subjects develop

[spiderfreedom]

historical revisionism of second-wave feminism

I'm wondering where this idea that "second-wave feminism" didn't bring up race came from. It seems to be conflating liberal feminism, starting with Betty Friedan's "The Feminist Mystique", for the entire movement. But "second-wave feminism" refers to an entire era of feminist organizing, including lesbian feminism, socialist feminism, radical feminist, and numerous Black feminist works with multiple intersections. Why should Friedan and NOW's 'liberal feminism' be the representative of an entire era of feminist writing? What do we have to gain from pretending that there were no Black feminist writers during the second wave?

The US women's movement has always had ties to anti-racist movements like abolitionism and the civil rights movement, as well as the New Left and socialist/anti-war movements. White feminists tried to include racial analysis in their books - to mixed effect, e.g. Susan Brownmiller's book "Against Our Will" proved to be contentious for its treatment of interracial rape of Black men against white women (example).

It feels like there's been a wave of historical revisionism to make the second-wave seem more limited and single-issue focused than it really was, in order to make "third-wave" feminism seem novel, exciting, and necessary. It's resulted in a whole generation of feminist writers and cultural critics who don't read or quote or engage with the feminist works of the second wave. They are dismissed out of hand as irrelevant or limited. It feels like another way to say "stop paying attention to women's history, just believe me when I say the first and second waves were irrevocably damaged and that the third wave is the only way to go."

I think this article does a good job of capturing one of the reasons why an interracial feminism failed to form, which is that white women assumed Black women also wanted an interracial feminism, when many Black women, especially at the start of the movement, were not interested in solidarity with white women. The fantasy of a racially integrated society was often much more important to white organizers than to Black organizers, who may have instead wanted Black self-determination. I disagree with some of the points of the article (can elaborate if anyone is interested) but I recommend reading it anyway for a retrospective on why white attempts to reach out to Black women failed - white feminists did attempt to reach out, but failed to focus on issues that were relevant to Black women, failed or were offensive in their racial analysis, and failed to understand the importance of racial solidarity for Black women.

Correcting the record on the racism and failures of white feminists in the second-wave is necessary work to building a strong movement. But there's a difference between correcting the record and pretending that white feminists didn't try to talk about race at all. They did! They were participants of anti-racist movements! But they failed to understand their own racism. They failed to understand the complex dynamics between white men, white women, Black men, and Black women. They failed to focus on issues that resonated with Black women. They were failures of bad attempts, not that no attempt was ever made... and that's the part I find weird.

The idea that there was no racial analysis made during the second wave, by white women or Black women, flattens a complex history. Like fun fact - the Combahee River Collective Statement which is the foundation of intersectional feminism and third wave identity politics? Is a second wave text! It was published in 1977, in the late era of second wave activism in the US!

I have more to say later, but for the moment, I'd like to present you with some examples of second-wave feminist texts written by Black women. Read them, and avail yourself of another myth - that there is One Black Feminism. Black Feminists have always had internal disagreements, which frightens white feminists, because white feminists want to know The Correct Answer On Race. I highly recommend reading these (and modern Black feminist texts too!) to understand the situation Black feminists faced in the 60s and 70s. All of these texts were published between 1960 and 1980. They are all essays or excerpts - links provided where possible.

Black Women’s Liberation group of Mt. Vernon, New York - Statement on Birth Control

Mary Ann Weathers - An argument for Black Women’s Liberation as Revolutionary Force (https://caringlabor.wordpress.com/2010/07/29/mary-ann-weathers-an-argument-for-black-womens-liberation-as-a-revolutionary-force/)

Frances M. Beal - Double Jeopardy: to be Black and Female

Doris Wright - Angry Notes from a Black Feminist (https://yu.instructure.com/courses/49421/files/1918241/download?wrap=1)

Margaret Sloan: Black and Blacklesbian

Alice Walker - In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens

Angela Davis: Joan Little: The Dialectics of Rape (https://overthrowpalacehome.files.wordpress.com/2019/02/ms.-magazine-from-the-archives.pdf)

Michele Wallace: A Black Feminist’s Search for Sisterhood (https://www.amistadresource.org/documents/document_09_03_010_wallace.pdf)

The Combahee River Collective (https://www.blackpast.org/african-american-history/combahee-river-collective-statement-1977/)

Barbara Smith - Racism and Women’s Studies (https://hamtramckfreeschool.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/smith-barbara-racism-and-womens-studies.pdf)

[wajjs]

What do you think about the current stories written by DC? You can be as vague or incredibly specific about this

I think DC Comics is hitting Absolute Stagnation 2: It gets worse!

I thought they were stagnant before, but honestly, that wasn't stagnant. That was moving an inch after 2 business days from the previous moving an inch. But now? Now it's like that Austin Power's scene where his car is stuck between two walls and he can't move either forward or backwards.

I think the main issue is that they refuse to let new writers in AND they stick to using the same writers who do not know how to a) tell a fun and dynamic story b) tell a story without destroying the characters c) all of the above.

Tom Taylor and Tom King are, together, a big reason DC Comics stories feel underwhelming. Like a whole bunch of nothing. With the key difference being that Tom Taylor is absolutely BORING to read, nothing ever happens (like in his Nightwing run), and when something happens it doesn't matter because there are no stakes no sacrifices no repercussions or consequences. There's nothing. You cut out Taylor's run from the characters' publication history and nothing at all is missing. He's THAT inconsequential.

With King, he's not boring, sure, but my god he is UPSETTING. He thinks his shit doesn't stink and makes himself to be a really profound writer, when in reality he does not understand the characters he's writing about and even less so the genres he's trying to pay homage to. He tries to be subtle and his subtlety is the same one of a brick being thrown and smashing a window.

He breaks already well established characters to make them fit into tiny little boxes just so he can tell a story that is praised in huge part for the good art it's presented with. He would not be as popular if he didn't have excellent artists paired with him.

Not to mention what he did to Catwoman/Selina. He stripped her of her agency and gave her no say over HER OWN BODY when he wrote her to be pregnant with Bruce’s baby. She repeatedly constantly explicitly says she DOESN'T want it, she DOESN'T want to be a mom, but we are made complicit of Bruce smirking and acting like he knows best and coercing Selina into having that baby. For what? Literally. For what?

(WITHOUT MENTIONING HOW HE BUTCHERED BOTH GUY AND HAL IN INSULTING WAYS AND NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT IT)

Anyway.

The main issue is that DC Comics keeps giving opportunities and praises to mediocre white cishet men when they do less than the bare minimum (tell an entertaining story). When there's someone of color writing, they actively sabotage it.

With the most current stories, like the GL ones, it just goes to show how they keep going for the most mediocre writers they can find. Jeremy Adams does not know how to write adults, women, and romantic relationships. I'm sorry but I'm not going to take as romance something that's built off of stalking, harassing, and punching down on decades of character history just to reduce the woman into a hormonal emotional insecure mess that all she wants to do is glue herself to Her Man(tm) and call it a day.

The recent events are also both entirely unnecessary and they will have little to no long lasting repercussions. All they do is clog the current on going comics and force the already mediocre writers into tight corners that only expose the mediocrity even more.

[droplet-dread-cat]

Not a single moment goes by where I don't think about Sampo "volunteering" at Belobog's museum

like, listen... he has the (technically second, since he has 93 points and a random NPC has 94 but still) highest tour duration and the actual highest education value stats but absolutely zero visitor appeal

this means whenever he's uh... "helping out" (aka being forced to work by the Trailblazer) he's constantly side-eyed and sneered at and just generally avoided but when someone accidentally catches wind of how interesting his tour actually is, they can't help but stay and listen as Sampo tells them about the history of, idk, art theft linked to the paintings that are currently displayed on the wall and I feel like they don't even notice for just how long they've listened before Sampo declares the tour's end

or maybe the tours are all equally long so the tour duration stat just states how many hours in a month that character is volunteering - which I'd honestly prefer in that case, since it'd mean Sampo's basically working an entire job at the museum

it's just... aaaaah, it's such a great starting point for an AU

Museum Tourguide!Sampo AU

imagine the Trailblazer hiring both Sampo and Gepard (who btw has the second highest education value out of the non-NPC characters behind Sampo, the second highest appeal at 83 points right behind the Supreme Guardian herself who has 85, but a tour duration of 5) for the art section of the museum

first of all Gepard constantly looks like he's swallowed a lemon when he's catching sight of Sampo just casually working.

secondly, this is a great set-up. not even from a shipping perspective. there'd be an inevitable rivalry of knowledge between the two - imagine they're working five metres apart from each other and when people come to Gepard for questions (let's be real, no-one goes to Mr. Cold Feet for answers), Sampo will just shout it over the heads of the visitors and Gepard, once again, will be livid af. like it's growing into a game of who can answer the fastest and they oftentimes have disputes, since Gepard obviously only knows the official stories and not the dirty bits that Sampo can bring to light.

in any case, apart from the work dynamic with Gepard, Sampo also has to interact with Uldan, this no-nonsense gramps who was instructed by the Trailblazer to "fend off Sampo's wandering fingers" - every time Sampo tries to pickpocket someone, Uldan will play up the senile grandpa act and do a whole bit where he acts like Sampo's his actual (grand)son, making it virtually impossible for Sampo to commit any crimes within his vicinity because Uldan will just scold him super loud, like "I didn't raise you like that, young man!"

and the thing is. Sampo is good at this whole volunteer thing. he excels at it, in fact, and I feel like with every tour he guides he enjoys it more and the people, too, grow to appreciate him more the longer he works at the museum. we all know where this is headed, right? there comes a point in time where Sampo doesn't follow a lead or initiate contact with a potential client and instead heads to the museum to cover a shift. I'm definitely not saying he gives up on his ways entirely but in my mind he inevitably becomes an actual staff member. sooner or later, Uldan's going to ask him to stay permanently and I mean, come on, the angst potential? the questioning of morals and identity? the realization that he wants to work a legitimate job? come oooooon

[patheticrafeenjoyer]

rafe cameron middle name polling

okay so sooooo much of this is based on my own personal headcanons of the cameron family dynamics, but just walk with me here.

feel free to answer w/out reading the stuff i'm about to say, but it'll be under the cut and i think it'll help contextualize some of the options lol.

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD REPLY WITH SOME SUGGESTIONS!!!!!!!

so, ward's middle name begins with "r" (seen on his arrest/search warrant as "ward r. cameron") but rafe's is literally just "rafe cameron". i'm not normal so i need to know what it is. of course, i have Thoughts about this topic.

so here's the potential options for me + some reasoning

"Ward" -> Named after his father, self explanatory.

After Ward's father -> This is dependent on how you view Ward's relationship with his own father. I don't think it was very close at all, but jury's out on if he'd give his son his father's name. [Additionally, for this one, I think it would begin with the letter "R", because that's what Ward's is. I suppose the "R" in Ward's name could be his grandfather, but I see it like it's been a name passed down a whole bunch. Also, based on the fact that I'm like 99% sure Ward's family is from The Cut, so I think the name would be a more working-class name. By this I just mean, that since names have a long history of being indicative of class status, with longer, "fancier" names belonging to upper-class individuals. (More on this later)]. Also, keep in mind that we have to consider the era that Ward's father would've been born in. Ward himself is in his 50's, so born somewhere between 1970-1961. Therefore, presumably his father would've been born around twenty years beforehand. Some examples of names fitting the criteria here might be something like: Rhett, Reed, Richard, Raymond, Randall. If we're forgoing the "R" names, we could open this up to something like: James, David, Wyatt, Elliot.

After Unnamed Mama Cameron's father -> Okay, so again we are going off of my own headcanon about Rafe's mother, and this one is also dependent on how you view her relationship to her family. To me she comes from a rich family (I see the legacy of the Cameron family being at Chapel Hill is not actually the Cameron's at all, but their mother's paternal side of the family). Some things very common in upper-class naming conventions is last names as first names, or something to signify the status of the family, or something that leans more traditional. So, names like: Montgomery, Hastings, Remington, Stetson, Clifford, Kenneth.

Something Bibical -> These names are verrrrrrrrry common. Everyone wants to make nice with the guy upstairs I guess. For Rafe, this would depend on how religious you view Ward/Unnamed Mama Cameron and their families before them. Also, take into consideration the different types of Biblical names; you have the more common/everyday names, like: Isaac, Andrew, Noah, Lucas, Michael, Barnabus, Abraham, Nathaniel, Elijah.

Some things to keep in mind, I've read that keeping a family connection is very important in southern naming conventions. Another common feature is a double name (though this would apply to a first name/set of names rather than middle, but also something to consider).

Honestly, there's just simply so many options. I tried to cover as many bases as I could think of, but I'm certain I've missed some.

My own personal bias leads me to believe Rafe's middle name is something from his maternal family. I don't view Ward as being particularly close to his own father/family (at least by the time Rafe was born), and I don't think he would've named Rafe his own name either. I don't have any real reasoning for either of these, I just sorta have a feeling. Therefore, I lean toward Unnamed Mama Cameron's father. Since, to me she is from an upper-class family, I think it would be one of those longer, fancy-sounding ones (Remington, Hastings, etc., but none of the ones I listed sound right). Actually, come to think of it, none of the names I listed from any of the categories sound right. So, if you have any suggestions, please comment.

Also if you even care I think he's a "Rafael" btw. Sarah is just "Sarah" after one of the parents' mothers, either Ward or Unnamed Mama Cameron's. Wheezie is either "Louisa" or "Ouisa", and based on Ward or Unnamed Mama Cameron's grandmothers. Watch me explain this all:

Ward is not close with his family, so "Cameron" is the only name his children carry from them.

Unnamed Mama Cameron was close with her parents (she was an only child); this way, both her own mother's name (Sarah -- but I'd go further to be a double name like "Sarah Elizabeth [middle name] [maiden name]") and her grandmother's names (Louisa/Ouisa) are honored through her children.

Rafe, short for Raphael/Rafael is a Bibical name (archangel), so you have your religious tie. I lean Rafael because Raphael is/was a Ninja Turtle, which was very popular especially in the 90s and early 2000s, so, they go with the alternative spelling so it's not like "oh, your son is Raphael like the Ninja Turtle?"

wanna hear something crazy? some alternative suggestions with the "Rafe" that i could believe are: Rafferty, Radcliffe, and i even saw a suggestion of it being a first-and-middle name mix (like "Ramsay Felix; ra + fe = rafe. though i think that one is unlikely given the fact that his arrest warrant does just say "rafe" which is more plausible as being a nickname of his legal first name rather than listing a name that is a mash of his first and middle). I'm still firmly team "Rafael" but the others are fun too.

also, "Rafe" is just a name in and of itself, but that's no fun to speculate aimlessly about.

[yullsmb]

One of the most important things for me in The Secret History, is the comparison between the Dionysian and Apollonian roots.

I shall start my rumbling with providing their descriptions, according to Nietzsche and his The Birth of Tragedy:

Apollonian represents all types of form or structure. It is about rational thought also.

Dionysian covers the forms of enthusiasm and ecstasy. It is drunkenness and madness.

How I see it represented in TSH?

Well, not really hard to point immediately one thing - the Dionysian ritual itself. That is what we talk about, when we say «Oh, that's some Dionysian type of shit here». This ritual is all about loosing oneself in order to see THE Dionysus. It's brutal, its ruthless, it's even bloody. All 4 of them end up covered in literal human blood of the man they killed.

The whole dynamic of the group is also rather Dionysian. Henry indeed tries hard to be all that rational and cold-blooded person, but at the end of the day, he's the one who got so excited after learning about the ritual, that he decided to took it upon himself to try.

The group? They agree to try. Rather they're all intimidated by Henry, or interested themselves. After the ritual they did quite awoke their primal instincts, that are so Dionysian.

Each of them even is a person who does not oppose any desires. Bunny? Oh please, he is a litteral embodiment of Dionysus. The twins? Yep, guilty as charged, though Camilla tries to hold back (or Richard just romanticises her, hm?). Francis? Sorry love, but yes, that's what money and an absent parent did to you.

Opposed to this world, very small and limited in population I must say, is literally everthing around them. And everyone. Our lovely Richard not-so-reliable-narrator Papen is the epitome of the Apollonian. He is rather reserved person, who took control of himself to get into the college And after everything that happened he gathered himself to actually finish the education. His hometown, Plano, is a very structured place, as we gather along the way. The Papens are like that too, pure resemblance. And Richard tries so hard to leave it behind him and loosen himself a bit. Dropping out of the medical college? Check. Going to study humanities? Check. Joining a questionable Greek class? Check. Becoming an accomplice to murder? Count him in!

Richard is enamoured by the idea of letting go, but he will never let go of that Apollonian part of him. It is just in his upbringing, one cannot easily get rid of it.

The thing about the Dionysian and Apollonian is that they do quite work together, however the clash may be destructive. Richard, who actually got associated with all of the group, who portrais everything we know about the Dionysian, is mentally destructed in the end.

Francis, Camilla and Charles also did have at least an ounce of Apollonian, so they're alive, yes. But good Lord, are they destroyed.

But still, the clash is also the source of creativity. Richard's repentance is incredibly beautifully formulated and written.

We don't really get the look on what the others have created, maybe (a series of novels from Camilla sounds nice, actually), but I sure hope that the clash created something extraordinarily amazing for them. They got their punishment already, let them live.