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sundew199 · 1 day ago

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One more time

a/n: my first little series for Zoro! I've been sitting on this idea for a while, heheh. tags will update with each part :)

tags: roronoa zoro x f!reader, modern au, previously established relationship, co-parenting, single dad!Zoro, single mom!reader, slight tension, repressed/denial of feelings.

synopsis: you and zoro have been split for three years, co-parenting your daughter together and making things work. But neither of you can deny the feelings ever faded for each other and don't know if giving it another shot is worth it. So what happens when it all comes to a head and neither of you can dance around the obvious you both seem so blind too?

next part ->

Faint buzzing from your nightstand alerted you from the deep sleep, flipping over, barely glancing at the time and not realizing you missed the first three alarms that had already gone off. Blearily blinking, staring down at your phone, the numbers finally became clear and not quickly enough, because you were already running late.

"Shit."

Snagging a robe from the rack hooked over the top of your bedroom door, pulling it on as you ran down the hallway of your apartment, stopping at a closed bedroom door.

"Kiyomi." Softly calling out to your daughter as you crept through the door slowly. "Kiyomi are you up?"

Sun light beamed through the windows of the room, casting a gentle glow on the fairy themed bedroom.

"Hi Mama!"

The little girl was suddenly in front of you, hair completely awry pointing in all different directions. Her bright eyes gazed up at you, already knowing what today was.

Thank God she was awake, too much like her father when it came to mornings, taking absolutely forever.

"Hi baby, you're already up?" Bending down to move her loose strands of hair away, pecking her forehead with a sweet motherly kiss.

"Uh huh, we get to go see daddy today." Happily twirling away, giggling so angelically you all but smiled.

"Mhm, did you pick out some clothes to pack in your bag?" Grabbing the kid sized duffle bag set on top of her dresser, the essential clothes already packed, leaving the rest up to your daughter.

"Yea, I put them on my tea set over there." Plopping back down on her bed, pointing to the small table that was given to her as a gift for her most recent birthday.

Nodding, wrapping your robe tighter around you to ensure decency, you took the surprisingly still neatly folded clothes from the tea table and stuffed them into the duffle bag. Kiyomi sat on her bed with a stuffed dragon, dancing it on her knees and talking to it like it were to respond. As you took a moment to grab whatever else she might need your phone vibrated from your robe pocket, possibly knowing what it might be about before checking.

A reminder that the train you took to get to Kiyomi's dad, was departing in forty five minutes, sending a panicked rush of adrenaline throughout. How had you slept through almost all your alarms? You were normally so on top of stuff, it was infuriating that you weren't this time.

Kiyomi quickly took notice of your abrupt franticness to get everything together, repeating the questions of "Are you okay?" several times as you dressed her until finally giving her a quick and reassuring response. Luckily your daughter never gave you grief about getting ready in the mornings, giving you barely enough time to throw something on and to head out the door.

Like every morning, the city bustled with life, crowding the sidewalks with people going to work or people heading across the city like you were. God, what made him want to live far knowing he had his daughter every other week? Whatever, there was no point in getting yourself worked up over something you had no power to change.

Below, the subway station, Kiyomi happily held your hand as she rocked back and forth on her feet, waiting with you for the train to arrive. An announcement over the inner com system throughout the subway announced the arrival of your train in the sext couple of minutes, tightening your hold on Kiyomi's hand so you wouldn't loose her while getting on.

Sooner than expected, the train arrived, everyone who needed to get off filtered out first, dragging Kiyomi through a small break in the exiting people to get on first so you could find a seat. You didn't have enough time to do her hair at the apartment and hoped you'd get to while on the train, and thankfully you snagged a seat, stuffing your daughter's bag underneath and pulling her onto your lap. An older woman sat beside you, Kiyomi waving to her politely as your finger combed through her thick hair. The two of them talked as you divided sections of her hair for two little braids, hearing her mention that she was going to see her dad and the older woman inquiring what the two of them would do while she was over there. It was sweet, but it quickly turned to bitterness realizing that you and Kiyomi's dad hadn't been together for almost three years and now your daughter was used to having to divide her time amongst her parents instead of being with both of you at the same time. It truly was for the better though, both of you knew that, but sometimes you caught yourself wondering if you'd tried a little harder to make it work.

"That's lovely dear, and what does your daddy do?"

"He teaches people how to kick and punch!"

The woman quickly looked at you wary, wondering what on earth your daughter could be talking about. Softly chuckling, explaining to her that Kiyomi's dad owns a martial arts studio and teaches classes. The sweet older woman softened once more, indulging your daughter more about how 'cool' her dad's job was.

Your stop was announced when the train came to a halt, letting Kiyomi say goodbye to the older woman as you exited, slinging her duffle bag over your shoulder. As much as it irritated you that he lived halfway across the city, at least it was a short walk from the subway station to his complex. Kiyomi bubbled with excitement the closer you got, skipping in her steps, rambling on about all she was going to do over the week while she was here.

The woman at the front desk, welcomed you, sneaking a lollipop to Kiymoi as you headed towards the elevators.

"Daddy said last time I was over that when I came over again he was going to teach me some moves."

"Why? So you can use them against me and get out of cleaning your room?" Playfully pressing, seeing your daughter flood red and slowly shaking her head. You promised her you were just being silly, watching her break out into a relieved smile after she thought she upset you.

Exiting the elevator, walking down the right and past a handful of doors, you let Kiyomi knock, stepping back so that he would see her first instead of you.

Zoro didn't even check to see who it might be, swinging the door open, groaning sleepily as he asked who it was. Kiyomi jumped up and squealed, pulling Zoro fully awake to bend down and sweep his daughter from the floor and into his arms, giving her the tightest bear hug right there in the door way.

"Hi princess, you're early today." Fiercely kissing Kiyomi's temple as he glanced in your direction, moving aside so you could come in for a second. You wouldn't deny that Zoro and Kiyomi's relationship was sickeningly sweet, he loved her unconditionally and spoiled the absolute hell out of her too.

Brushing past him, ignoring the fact he was shirtless and in loose fitting athletic shorts, you walked to the living room to set Kiyomi's bag on the couch. Zoro came in behind you, carefully tossing his daughter onto the couch, hearing her infectious giggle as she landed with a plop. His attention was focused on something in the kitchen, headed that way as your daughter said hello to the cat that freely roamed about the apartment. His back was turned when you approached, the expansive tattoo that took up the entirety of his back was all you could focus on. You knew he got it done recently but had no idea it was so intricate so many elements inked into his skin, flowing perfectly together. The tiger was what stood out to you most, swore the eyes pierced into your soul as you stood there and stared. When he started to turn, you cleared your throat, remembering why you came over here in the first place.

"I packed some warmer clothes just in case."

Crumbs from the toast he took a bite of flaked off the corner of his mouth as he finished chewing. "Why? I've got some here."

"Oh right. Sorry, I was in a rush this morning and remembered it might get chilly this week, just thought I'd tell you."

Zoro nodded, taking another bite of the toast, standing in his kitchen, waiting for you to continue or to say something else. You weren't sure why you were so awkward and flustered all of a sudden, doing this since Kiyomi was two, all part of the new normal since your split. Maybe it was the tattoo and him answering the door shirtless, usually more put together when you stop by to drop your daughter off, add onto the fact you hadn't been on a date in god knows how long at this point. But that shouldn't be the reason why you were abnormally flustered around him, though it wouldn't serve you any good to dwell on it either.

"I've got two classes this week, so Kiyomi will come with me to the studio." Saying as he dusted his hands of the crumbs and reached for the coffee cup beside him.

Not much of an issue, it's happened in the past and you weren't going to deny him taking her to work when it was his week. Plus she liked going up there with him, always talked about it when you came to pick her up before the start of the next week.

"Are you going to be teaching her some of your moves?" Air quoting playfully and seeing Zoro shake his head and laughing into his coffee mug.

"Maybe, did she tell you I was?"

"Mhm."

Zoro huffed through his nose in amusement, finishing his coffee and dumping the rest in the sink. You smiled warmly as he moved about the kitchen, grabbing some more things to eat so he could at least say he had breakfast. You weren't in any rush to get out of here, work giving you a day off and Zoro never minded how long you stayed when dropping off Kiyomi.

Since the mutual split, the two of you slowly and awkwardly built a friendship. It was weird at first, a drastically different dynamic and hard to navigate when there were obvious feelings still between you and him. And it begged the question at first why you even agreed to split in the first place. But deep down you knew it was for the better, having a kid together when you were both trying to figure out your lives and not even being together for very long before finding out you were pregnant. It was an overall recipe that would inevitably result in the two of you parting ways. There were some other factors, like Zoro not communicating how he felt half the time, resulting in arguments over stupid things or how you felt like you needed to do everything on your own and not ask for help. The relationship wasn't all bad, but it reached a point where you both knew it'd be better for Kiyomi to co-parent and remain friends.

"Well, I've gotta run some errands so I'll get out of your hair." Breaking the silence and stepping back from the small L-shaped kitchen island, Zoro perking up and scrunching his face.

"Never left so quickly, do errands involve something you don't want me to know about?" Poking at you humorously, knowing you'd get annoyed.

Both of you have dated in the past, though very briefly. In the beginning, when laying the ground rules and expectations for one another post-breakup, you both agreed that Kiyomi wouldn't be introduce to anyone either of you were dating until after a couple of months and only if it was serious. Neither of you wanted your daughter getting attached to someone and then never see them again because it didn't work out, she was too young to question why mommy or daddy's girlfriends or boyfriends weren't coming around anymore, she was only five and didn't need that burden on her.

"No," Scoffing and rolling your eyes, feeling the cat come and walk between your legs, reaching down to scratch behind his ear. "Trying to get it done early so I can enjoy my day off."

Zoro gave a pondering hum, closing the fridge and walking over to you, hands cross over his chest, biceps bulging. Why were you noticing all of this right now, what was wrong with you?

"Hm alright, let me know if you need anything."

His usual offer was always endearing, like a little reminder that he'd always be there if you needed him and Zoro had no real obligation to offer that to begin with, but always did.

"I will." Coming up behind Kiyomi on the couch occupied with her coloring book, bending down to kiss the crown of her head and tell her goodbye and to have fun this week.

Walking with him to the door, you briefly gave him a hug and jokingly told him to have fun too, memorizing the warm laugh he gave into your ear, annoyed with how a shiver ran up your spine at the sound. It'd been three years and you swore up and down that he had no effect over you, always ignoring and pushing it down because you knew the chances of working out a second time were low. Deep down you hoped he'd want to try again, but Zoro never once gave any indication, so you respected it, for the sake of your daughter.

Errands took up most of your day and you really didn't even mean for it to happen. Grocery shopping was surprisingly quick, deciding to shop for this week and the next just to save yourself some time for when Kiymoi would eventually be back with you. It was the personal errands that took up your day, an urge to clothes shop coming over you resulted in two hours of aimlessly wondering around the mall with a couple bags in hand.

Late afternoon had come when you finally walked through the door, tossing everything to the couch and flopping there. A dull numbing quiet surrounded you flopped on that couch, phantom calls of 'mommy!' or Kiyomi's exciting squeals about whatever it was replacing the silence in your head. No matter how long you'd been taking Kiyomi over to Zoro's for the week, the first quiet day was always the hardest. She was your sunshine, the brightest part of your day and everything turned gloomy when she was over at her dad's.

Zoro must've felt the same way, given how excited he was to see her and how masked his gloominess was when he dropped her back off.

This was for the best.

Was the constant reminder ringing in your head every time you fell into this slump. Lately you'd been questioning if it was actually for the best and it all felt insanely selfish every time you tried to reason against yourself and the stubbornness. Kiyomi was happy and healthy, having a great relationship with both her parents, always calling the back and forth between your place and Zoro's an adventure. Surely other single moms who co-parented felt this way, all the gloominess and conflict but you didn't have anyone else you knew who was in a similar situation as you. Making other mom friends was hard enough as it is, especially single mom friends. Hearing about their constant distaste for their child's father made it hard to keep in touch with them, and it wasn't that you didn't agree with them, but you couldn't relate and you wanted to relate to them to gain some sort of reassurance.

Mulling over the same thing was pointless, nothing would change in the selfish way that you wanted, so you needed to accept and be content with how things were with your family.

Finally pulling yourself from the couch, taking the bags with you to the bedroom, you were met with the train wreck that was you trying to get ready this morning. Setting the bags on the bed, you picked up everything thrown across the room, putting it back where it belonged. Took longer than you expected, moving some things around and getting lost in reorganizing your closet to make room for the things you bought today.

Ideally doing this on your day off could've waited until the weekend, but you had time now. A few storage pins were pulled out so you could extent the shoe rack you bought so long ago, easily fitting the much needed pair of shoes on the rack next to the others. Spare hangers were found to use on the various pieces of new clothing. Ultimately you were done, but you hadn't looked through those storage bins and wondered if anything could be tossed out or donated. You knew some of Kiyomi's clothes that didn't fit anymore were in one of these, holding onto them because you weren't sure if you could ever get rid of them.

Newborn clothes and clothes from when she was still under a year old were folded neatly and stacked to the brim. All the memories flooded back to you with every piece you picked up and admired. Most of these were sentimental, like the onesie she wore when she said her first word, or the outfit she had on when she walked for the first time, stuff like that. Even the outfit you brought her home from the hospital was in here, the exact one Zoro chose and suddenly your chest was tight and you couldn't look at it anymore.

That turned out to be the case with the rest of the baby clothes, memories of you and Zoro navigating through parenthood with a baby and somehow surviving were rushing through your head. You wanted to cry, go back in time to when you were blissfully happy and unaware of the strain on your relationship, go back and do things differently. But that wasn't an option.

Putting all of Kiyomi's clothes back, snapping the lid back on the container and sliding it back into the deepest corner of your closet, you shifted your focus to the second one. All of your clothes that didn't fit anymore were stuffed in here and not wanting to relive anymore old memories, you closed the lid and tucked it away with the other one.

Leaving your closet after sitting on the floor and staring at the ceiling as you thought of nothing, you headed back to the living and kitchen area to pick up some more. Kiyomi was pretty good at putting her toys away and preventing anyone from tripping over them, you simply put a few things back in place.

Now you really didn't have anything left to do, already close to dinner and no desire to dirty the kitchen making a meal just for yourself. Maybe a solo outing to a near-by diner would get your mind off of things, maybe you'd meet someone.

Unrealistic part of it aside, you needed to get out of the apartment for your own good and not dwell on missing your daughter or a relationship that wouldn't happen again.

Grabbing a jacket and all your personal belongings, you marched down the stairs, skipping the elevator just so you could get out faster. An almost frigid breeze whipped across your face, shivering almost violently as you looked down the street for a suitable option for dinner. Most of the places you frequented with Kiyomi knew you two by name and always welcomed you both when coming by. The owners always feigned disappointment when they asked where Kiyomi was and you'd say with her dad, insisting she needed to be with you always when you came by as a lighthearted joke.

The only option that remotely sounded appealing for dinner was the old burger place a block away from your complex. Beginning to head that way, weaving in and out of people along the way, politely excusing yourself just so you didn't come off as an asshole. Arriving, surprised it wasn't as busy as it normally was, the waitress smiled bright seeing you, immediately directing you to a seat on the hightop bar, asking if you wanted a drink.

And for once you took her up on the offer, getting whatever their special mixed drink was to save yourself from having to make a decision. The bartender as expected inquired where your daughter was, looking up from the menu with raised brows, seeing his amused smile, implying he knew where she was.

"How old is she now?" The middle aged man asked as he made your drink, waiting until you after you were finishing giving your food order to waitress from earlier.

"She's five." Turning back to him, sighing in the way only a mother sighs when talking about how old their child is. The man deeply chuckled, rimming the glass with lime juice and dusting salt on the side.

"Shit, she was just a toddler."

"Please Rob, I really don't want to be reminded, I already accidentally went down memory lane earlier." Almost forcing a laugh, questioning why you would bring that up again after how glum you got because of it. His hand came up defensively, apologizing with another chuckle and handing you your drink for the evening. He asked how your job was going and eventually asked how Zoro was doing, since he used to live in this part of the city with you and frequent this restaurant as well.

A messy looking burger arrived in the midst of your pleasant conversation with the bartender, thanking the waitress and passing her your card so you could pay now but keep your tab open for drinks just in case. It's not like you had a lot going on, might as well keep yourself company.

Zoro wishes he had inherited some ability for cooking, especially when Kiyomi was staying with him. He read some books, watched some videos but it always resulted in the dish turning into nothing even remotely close to what he was making or burnt to hell.

Would he be a bad dad for ordering takeout all this week? He doesn't think you'd be very happy to know your daughter was fed absolute junk when you try you best to cook as often as you could, but for some reason he couldn't even boil pasta correctly.

He swore it was because his mind was constantly thinking back to when you came to drop Kiyomi off. It wasn't unusual for him to dwell on thoughts about you when he saw you, though this time was compelling and inhibiting his ability to cook a decent meal for his daughter. He ran through the same thought process of trying to find ways to get you to stay longer or to drop by during his week but he never found the courage to do so. Or a good enough reason or excuse.

He knows this is what you and him agreed on, but shit it was hard sometimes, still hopelessly in love with you and wishing he'd done more to fix the strain and not settle for splitting. But he also respected you and never wanted to go against your wishes or try to pressure you into giving you and him a go again.

Completely unsatisfied with the burnt chicken nuggets, Zoro tossed them in the trash, staring from across the kitchen at Kiyomi curled up on the couch watching an episode of her favorite TV show.

Feeling like an utter failure of a dad recently, this was the cherry on top and he had no one to vent to about it. You of course didn't want to hear his transgressions about still navigating through fatherhood with uncertainty, you took motherhood on like it was nothing, you were a natural. Zoro always thought the two of you were better as a team with Kiyomi, but towards the end of the relationship when you voiced your thoughts about him undermining you and trying to do everything for you, he stepped back. Not completely of course, it's not like he stopped being a father, but he let you handle things on your own, but thinking back, that wasn't the smartest thing to do. Fuck, after three years he's still sitting here (or standing in this case) wondering what he could've done differently.

"Daddy? What's for dinner?" Kiyomi asked from the couch, sitting up, strands from your two perfect braids coming loose.

Uh, shit, he just threw dinner away and felt completely stumped on what else he had to make for her.

"What do you want?"

The brightness in her smile could be seen from here he stood, watching her climb down from the couch and run her way over to him, giggling as he picked her up and set her on the kitchen island. Gleefully the little girl swung her feet and thought about what she would want for dinner, widening the small smile on Zoro's face.

"Maybe noodles?"

"What kind of noodles?"

"Those noodles with the vegetables that come with the chicken."'

"Chinese takeout?"

Her immediate bobbing of her head sealed the answer for dinner, grabbing his phone from just behind her and searching up the nearest place. Zoro stood there leaning against the edge of the counter and showing Kiyomi the menu item pictures and waiting for her to choose which one. She settled on lo mein noodles with chicken, sweetly asking for one of the cookies with the paper inside to come with the food as well, making Zoro laugh.

Once he figured out what he wanted, the order was placed, Zoro migrated back over to the couch where Cookie was curled up in the exact spot Kiyomi had been sitting in early. The black cat came to join Zoro shortly after he moved in here, bringing him home from the shelter and letting Kiyomi name him. Those two were best buds, Cookie very possessive of the little girl oddly enough, but you both found it kinda sweet.

"Can we stay up late tonight?" Kiyomi asked, scooting in beside Cookie who barely flinched, merely adjust where he lay to accommodate his human companion.

"No, daddy's got work in the morning and you're coming with me, remember?"

"Yea, but we always stay up late."

"No we do not?" Laughing in disbelief at his daughter's confession, looking at her quizzically, wondering where on earth she came up with that. Zoro could see the small bit of guilt in her eyes, the biggest indicator that she knew she was lying to try and get him to give in and god did it melt his heart.

"I know, but I don't like having a bedtime." Pouting and falling into his arm, letting out a sigh that reminded him so much of you. Kiyomi in general was like looking and being around you, truly your mini-me.

"I know baby, but bedtimes are good for you." Comforting her, playing with one of the braids and giving her a small squeeze.

"You sound like mommy."

Zoro dramatically whined and Kiyomi peaked up, giggling and climbing onto his lap, gently smacking her hands on his cheeks and bringing his face center to hers. Her inquisitive little eyes studied him, tracing over his features. She hummed to herself, leaning in closer to the eye that had a single clean scar over it.

"You need to get your eye fixed."

A loud unexpected laugh erupted from Zoro, leaving Kiyomi slightly confused but laughing along with him.

"I can't fix it."

"Why?"

"Because."

Kiyomi pouted, not liking the answer but not pushing further. Zoro could get his eye "fixed" but he wasn't made of money and quite frankly didn't have a desire too either. An accident involving a sword at his dojo as a teen against an opponent resulted in the scar, as well as the vision impairment. The doctors thought they could save the eye but ended up having to remove it, resulting in his permanently closed and scarred eye. When Kiyomi was younger and learning to speak, her favorite thing to do was point at his scar and ask 'What happen?', slowly graduating from that to asking where his eye was or for him to tell the story, but this was the first time she's ever suggested getting his eye "fixed".

Soft knocks and a ringing door bell could only mean one thing, setting Kiyomi down and going to answer the door. A teenager, completely unamused about delivery this order, barely exchanged a word handing him over the food and taking the cash. Someone had beat him to the kitchen, climbing up the barstool and seating herself like a waiting customer at a diner as Zoro grabbed a plate. Little moments like these warmed his heart and made himself feel better about trying his best, even when he didn't feel like it was his best.

One drink turned into two and then three, eventually cutting yourself off at the sound of your own constant giggling. If you didn't have work in the morning maybe you would've kept drinking but then again you still had to get home and didn't want to stumble all down the sidewalk to get there.

A couple other patrons joined you at the bar, ordering food or drinks, sometimes both but not lingering like how you were. One person did though and you found yourself in a fit of laughter as he told the story of how his roommate walked in on him in college with his crush.

The man was nice, funny as well and you couldn't remember the last time you'd freely or carelessly laughed with a stranger like this. In a way, you felt renewed, a bit more alive and there wasn't any real explanation for it other than the amount of alcohol you had.

"Never let me live that moment down."

"I can't imagine he would, I mean who leaves the door unlocked when finally getting alone with their crush."

He shrugged, took a sip of his drink and sputtered out another laugh.

"Hey I was eager and not thinking straight."

Humming into the glass of water as an answer to his explanation, you pondered why you felt so carefree with this stranger of a man. Inebriation damped your cognitive thinking, unable to come up with an explanation but the familiar feeling remained. It began to dawn on you and you just about placed your finger on it before the man interrupted you with a question.

"Sorry, I zoned out, what did you say?" Being honest and shying away in mild embarrassment. The man waved you off, turning in the barstool to face you more.

"I said I want to get to know you more."

Oh.

Suddenly the urge to clam up came over you, which wasn't unusual when it came to the few dates you went on. It's like you couldn't detach yourself from the idea that a second chance with Zoro would present itself and you wouldn't have the opportunity to act on it because you were in a relationship. There was no reason to do this to yourself, it was very clear between both of you that this is how it would be and knew that at some point you'd end up with other people, even if that part was unspoken. But you couldn't help but hold out some hope, why you never went on more than just a second date with a person. And you knew that you had to break this habit, you deserved to be happy whether it was with Zoro or not.

"Oh yea sure, uh did you want my number?" Patting over your body for your phone so you could exchange contact with the man, finding it on the bar top next to your water.

"Yea, I'll give you mine too." Pulling out his phone as well.

Unlocking your own, finding the contacts section, you clicked the plus sign in the top corner, waiting for him to do the same. The man insisted you give him your number first, attempting to come off as a 'gentleman' and you bought the bait, repeating the numbers and giving him your name as well.

Waiting until he finished adding you as a contact, you smiled, signaling for him to repeat his number to you. He spoke slow, knowing you were tipsy and you thought that was funny in a way, typing the numbers in, only to get a text from Zoro right then.

'Kiyomi wanted to say goodnight and I love you'

Was what it read at the top of your phone with a video attachment and the tears were flooding your eyes faster than you could breathe.

You felt guilty and there was no reason for you to either. It wasn't Zoro's fault for sending you that text, he had no idea and this wasn't unusual either, Kiyomi always wanting to say goodnight and you adored your daughter for that. But here you were exchanging numbers with a guy you just met and feeling like this was completely wrong when it wasn't.

"Did you get it all?"

His question snapped you back to reality, noticing only half of his number typed out into the contact card and the next thing you should've said was politely asking him to repeat it. But you didn't

"Yea, got it." Forcing a smile and forcing the tears to go away. He didn't suspect anything, smiling excitedly and slouching in the bar stool.

"I text you or you text me after we're done here?" Questioning in a sort of seductive way, turning on his charm and you all of a sudden didn't find it as charming anymore.

"I'll text you." Throwing him a wink and sliding off the barstool, deciding you needed to leave now or you'd be an embarrassing mess and you could tell he was slightly thrown off, raising a brow. "I've got work in the morning, if I don't text you tonight, I'll text you in the morning."

Reassurance flooded his face at your words and a different guilt settled inside you because you didn't have any plans on actually texting him. The right thing to do would be to tell him but that would spiral into wanting to know why you offered your number and you weren't in the right mind to deal with that. So you just told him what he probably wanted to hear, walking away, turning to wave as you exited the burger place, clutching your phone tightly in your hand.

Deep down you wished you had the confidence to tell Zoro that you'd be open to trying again, do better than the first time and not make the same mistakes. But if it were to fail for a second time, the aftermath of it all would be worse than the first time. Kiyomi was older and you'd never forgive yourself if you let your daughter believe that her mom and dad were together for good just to break everyone up again. She was older now and it would affect her more than it did when she was two. Kiyomi needed some kind of stability and you weren't going to let the falling out of you and Zoro be a burden on her and you knew Zoro wouldn't want that either. But you had to decide what you wanted, and that meant coming to terms with the feelings that never really left for Zoro and that was a challenge in itself and plagued with too many what ifs and disappointment and you weren't sure if you could deal with that all over again.

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