#tried to make them make sense for their personas and the game

[kathlare]

when the lights fade

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: Fresh off her exhilarating Coachella performance, Amelie is surrounded by the support of her loved ones, basking in the glow of her achievement. However, backstage dynamics bring a mix of pride, tension, and unspoken feelings to the forefront. Amid the chaos, Amelie and Lando navigate their relationship, balancing public personas with private affection, all while confronting subtle challenges that test their bond.

Wordcount: 2.3 k

Warnings: fluff, smau

request over here!

April 12th, 2024 - Palms Springs, CA

Amelie’s heart was still pounding from her performance, the echoes of the crowd's cheers still ringing in her ears. She had just finished her set at Coachella, and the buzz of adrenaline was like a drug—every part of her was alive, and yet, she couldn't stop smiling. The lights had been blinding, the music pulsing through her veins, and now, as she stood backstage, her breath coming in quick bursts, it felt like everything had fallen into place.

Her first Coachella.

The overwhelming sense of pride and happiness was almost too much to handle, but the real magic was being able to share it with those who meant the most to her. Her family was there—her mom, dad, brothers, and sisters—along with a few close friends. And, of course, there was Lando.

She spotted him across the backstage area, his unmistakable tousled hair and wide grin a beacon. He was laughing with Charles, George, and Alex, his usual easygoing self. But the moment their eyes met, that familiar connection sparked between them. He gave her a teasing smile, his eyes scanning her up and down as she walked toward him. She was still buzzing from the performance, but just the sight of him made her pulse race all over again.

Lando was already making his way toward her, weaving through the crowd. She smiled at the way he was so obviously trying not to be too obvious about checking her out. It was just them now, no need for games. He stopped just a few feet away, his eyes still glued to her.

—Damn, you were incredible,— he said, his voice filled with admiration, though his eyes were mostly scanning her figure.

—Thanks,— she said with a playful smile. —You should’ve seen the crowd, they were amazing. It’s Coachella, Lando. I can’t believe I’m here.—

He chuckled, walking closer until there was barely any space between them. He lowered his voice, his tone now soft, teasing. —No, I meant you. You were incredible.—

Amelie rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. —Stop it, Norris. You’re not the first to tell me that tonight.—

Lando’s grin widened, his fingers brushing against her arm as he looked down at her with that signature mischievous glint in his eyes. —It’s true. They’ve all been looking at you like you’re some kind of goddess.—

She raised an eyebrow. —Are you jealous?—

—Should I be?— he teased, taking a step closer.

Her lips parted as she tried to hold back the grin, but his proximity made it hard to concentrate. There was a certain spark between them—one that never really faded, no matter how much time passed or how much space they gave each other.

—Maybe,— she said with a little shrug, her lips curling up in a playful smirk.

Just then, Alex, George and Charles came over, interrupting their private moment, though it didn’t seem to bother Lando in the slightest. He turned toward them, though his hand stayed lightly on Amelie’s arm.

—Good set, Amelie,— Charles said with a wink.

—Yeah, you absolutely killed it out there,— Alex added, giving her a thumbs-up.

Amelie laughed, slightly embarrassed, but happy. —Thanks, guys. It’s surreal being here.—

—We can tell,— George said, grinning. —I swear, you were glowing up there.—

Lando rolled his eyes. —Alright, alright, you’ve all got your compliments in. Can I get a moment alone with my girlfriend now?—

The word slipped out so naturally that it took a second for Amelie to process. Her heart skipped a beat. Girlfriend. They had been privately dating for a few months now, since November, but hearing him say it so casually made her feel a rush of warmth and affection. She didn’t let it show, though, keeping her playful smile in place.

—Just a second, let me breathe,— she teased back, her eyes dancing with mischief. —I’ve got to let all this attention sink in.—

Lando laughed, his arm slipping around her waist as he pulled her a little closer. —Sure, darling. Enjoy it while you can.—

Amelie couldn’t stop grinning as she looked up at Lando, the adrenaline from her performance still humming in her veins. She tried to pretend she wasn’t affected by his touch—his hand on her waist, his body close to hers—but the truth was, it felt natural, comforting. Just being around him always made her feel a little lighter, a little more alive.

Lando leaned down slightly, his lips brushing the top of her head as he whispered in her ear. —You know, you're looking even better up close.— His voice was low, just for her, sending a thrill down her spine.

She rolled her eyes, but there was a definite flush to her cheeks. —You’re impossible,— she muttered, stepping away to regain some space, though she could feel his gaze following her every move.

—You like it,— he teased, his grin never fading.

Amelie couldn’t help but laugh, the sound coming easily. She wasn’t sure if it was the adrenaline from her performance or the way Lando always had that effect on her, but everything felt a little brighter with him around. They were close, closer than they’d ever been before—yet no one knew. To the world, they were just good friends. But behind closed doors? Things were different.

Lando leaned back against the wall, arms crossed, still watching her with that mischievous glint in his eyes. He had that way of making her feel like the only person in the room, and it was impossible to ignore. She caught him sneaking glances at her, his eyes tracing her every movement, and it made her stomach do a flip.

—You gonna let me breathe, or are you just gonna keep staring at me all night?— she asked, trying to play it cool, but she couldn’t hide the smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

He raised an eyebrow, pushing himself off the wall. —I can’t help it, you know. You look…— He paused, his eyes scanning her from head to toe again, —...absolutely stunning.—

Amelie rolled her eyes but couldn’t keep the flush off her cheeks. The way he looked at her made her feel like no one else existed. It was the same way he had looked at her when they first met, back in 2019, back when he was just another Formula 1 driver and she was still figuring out who she was in the world of acting. They had been close, but the connection they had now—now that they had circled back after everything—was something different. More real, more genuine.

Before she could respond, a familiar voice interrupted them.

—Amelie!— A shrill voice cut through the air, and Amelie stiffened slightly as she turned around.

Magui stood there, a fake smile plastered on her face. She had been a distant acquaintance when Amelie had traveled to Finland earlier in the year, but there was an undeniable tension between them. The rivalry was palpable, and Amelie wasn’t sure if Magui even knew that Lando and her were more than just good friends by now.

—Magui,— Amelie greeted stiffly, offering a tight smile.

Magui's eyes flicked over to Lando, giving him a flirtatious smile that Amelie could tell was meant for him, not her. She could feel a knot form in her stomach, though she refused to show it. Not in front of Lando.

—Amelie! Wow, you were incredible out there!— Magui's voice was syrupy sweet, but Amelie could tell she was still trying to get under her skin. It wasn't the first time.

—Thanks,— Amelie replied, her tone polite but cool.

Magui took a step closer, then another, until she was standing just a little too close to Lando for comfort. She placed a hand lightly on his arm, leaning into him in a way that felt like a challenge. Amelie had to force herself to keep her expression neutral.

—You know, I was just telling Lando how great you were. I mean, really, the whole thing, your energy, your performance, I'm surprised you didn't go all the way and headline the night, really.— Magui’s eyes twinkled as she looked at Lando, her smile playful but with an edge that didn’t go unnoticed by Amelie.

Lando's hand instinctively moved to Amelie’s back, pulling her a little closer as if to mark his territory. But the way he played it off, shrugging and returning Magui’s smile, made Amelie’s stomach turn.

Amelie tried to keep her cool, but the tension in the air was undeniable. She could feel Lando’s hand on her back, subtly asserting his presence, but it didn’t stop Magui from leaning in just a little closer to him. The way she fluttered her eyelashes at Lando made Amelie’s blood simmer. She knew Magui’s game—she’d seen it before, back when they met in Finland. Magui was trying to get under her skin, but this time, it wasn’t just about friendly banter. This was personal.

The moment dragged on, an uncomfortable silence hanging in the air until finally, Lando spoke up, his voice smooth but with an edge that only Amelie would recognize.

—Thanks, Magui, but I’ve already heard enough praise for Amelie tonight,— he said, his tone just the right mix of dismissive and teasing. He wasn’t letting her play her usual tricks.

Magui blinked, surprised by his quick retort, but she wasn’t one to back down easily.

—Oh, of course. I just thought you’d appreciate a little friendly compliment. Amelie’s not the only one here with talent, after all.— Her eyes flicked between them, a faint smirk tugging at her lips as if she knew exactly what she was doing. She was trying to get under Amelie’s skin, trying to make her jealous.

Amelie felt the familiar heat rise in her chest, but she held her ground. She wasn’t about to let Magui get the satisfaction of seeing her flustered.

—Sure, Magui, we all appreciate the compliments,— Amelie said, her voice dripping with polite sweetness. —But I think we’ve had enough of your little flirtation with Lando for tonight, don’t you think?—

Her words were blunt, and she felt Lando’s hand tense on her back, but he didn’t say anything, allowing her to stand her ground. She wasn’t going to let this woman mess with her head again.

Magui blinked, clearly caught off guard by the sudden shift in Amelie’s tone, but she quickly masked it with a laugh, her eyes narrowing slightly.

—Oh, don’t worry, I’m just congratulating your friend. I didn’t know you had a problem with that. Isn’t that what friends do?— she said with a laugh that was anything but genuine

Amelie’s jaw clenched.

—Friends?— she said, raising an eyebrow. —Right, just friends.—

She could feel Lando’s gaze on her, but she refused to look at him. Instead, she shifted slightly, putting space between them. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him—she did—but the way Magui was looking at him, with that smug look on her face, was getting under her skin.

Lando’s expression was unreadable, but he squeezed Amelie’s waist gently, a silent apology that she didn’t know how to accept yet.

—Alright, well, I think we’ve had enough of this conversation. Thanks for the compliments, Magui,— Lando said, his voice firm. —But I’m pretty sure Amelie’s ready to get some rest after her set.— He wasn’t rude, but the way he said it made it clear that he was done with the conversation.

Magui blinked again, taken aback by Lando’s sudden coldness, but she quickly recovered with a fake smile.

—Of course. Enjoy your night, Amelie. You deserve it,— she said, giving Lando one last lingering glance before turning to leave.

Amelie didn’t miss the way Magui looked back at Lando, her expression one of lingering interest. And as much as Amelie hated to admit it, it stung. Not because she was jealous of Magui, but because she knew how easy it was for Lando to get caught up in the attention. It wasn’t the first time a woman had thrown herself at him, and it wouldn’t be the last. But that didn’t make it any easier to stomach.

As soon as Magui was out of earshot, Amelie let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. She could feel Lando’s presence next to her, but she didn’t look at him. Instead, she took a few steps away, needing space to cool down.

Lando watched her carefully, his eyes following her every move. He knew she was upset, and he hated seeing her like this. But he wasn’t about to push her.

—Amelie, come on,— he said softly, stepping closer to her. —You know I don’t care about her, right?—

She shrugged, trying to play it cool, but the hurt was there, visible in the way her body tensed.

—It’s not that, Lando,— she muttered. —It’s just… I don’t like her. I know she doesn’t like me. But I also know you’re not blind to her flirting. And I’m just tired of it.—

Lando stepped forward, his hand resting gently on her arm.

—I’m not blind to it. I’m just not interested, Amelie. You should know that by now.—

She bit her lip, trying to push down the frustration.

—I do know that, Lando. But it’s still annoying.—

He couldn’t help but laugh at her grumbling, the way she looked so adorably pissed off. It was one of the things he like about her, how she wore her emotions so openly.

—Alright, alright,— he said, trying to lighten the mood. —I’ll stop being nice to other women if it makes you feel better.—

Her eyes flicked up at him, a flash of annoyance still present, but there was something else there, too... amusement.

—You’re ridiculous.—

He grinned, leaning in slightly.

—Yeah, but you like it.—

Before she could respond, he kissed her, a soft, slow kiss that was all about reassurance. And then, as he pulled away, he kissed her neck, making her laugh despite herself.

—You’re such a dork,— she muttered, though her annoyance had melted away.

—But I’m your dork,— he said with a grin.

She rolled her eyes, but the smile tugging at the corners of her lips was undeniable.

They stood there for a moment, the noise of the festival still echoing around them, but all Amelie could focus on was Lando. Her heart still raced, not from the performance, but from the way he made her feel. The way he always seemed to know exactly what to say to make her smile.

--------------

liked by f1lover_24, amelienation, and others

amelieupdates: After slaying the stage, Amelie was spotted vibing at Coachella with Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, George Russell, Alex Albon, and more! ✨🎶🌟 Looks like the fun didn’t stop after the performance! 💃

View all 3,945 comments

landosbabe69: I swear if they’re not dating yet, I’ll scream. The energy is just too strong, and we’ve been rooting for them since forever! 🥺💖

→ amelieslilangel: @landosbabe69 I KNOW!! The chemistry is undeniable, and the way Lando keeps looking at her... please, it’s a matter of time!! 😭✨

itsmerachel_: The way Lando’s laughing at her jokes… Do we think he’s more than just friends now? 👀😏

f1fanatic_23: Wait… Amelie and Lando looking a lil' too cozy in that pic 👀 Anyone else see that?

f1hotgoss_: Not to be that person, but WHY is Lando always near her? 👀 → fastlanealex_: @f1fanfic_23 Because they’re besties, duh. But like... maybe more? 😏 → charleslover69_: @fastlanealex_ Nah, Charles is there too, stop reaching. → amelieandlando_: @charleslover69_ Bro, why was Lando the only one standing next to her in every pic tho? 🤨

fernando.alonsostan_: Nah, let’s focus on how Amelie killed her set. Forget the boys. She’s the moment. PERIOD. 🎤🔥

charlesfansunited: Charles looking like a lost puppy in the background of every pic. Iconic. 🤣 → paddocktea_: @charlesfansunited He’s just there for vibes and hydration. We love that for him.

amelieforever: If Amelie and Lando are actually dating, I will literally combust. 🔥 → landoluvrr_: @amelieforever Same, but they’ve denied it so many times. Guess we’re clowning again. 🤡

f1drama_: Y’all are obsessed with shipping them, like let them breathe.

lanmelforever: Not them dancing together during Amelie’s set… he knew ALL the lyrics, guys. ALL. THE. LYRICS. 🤨 → coachelladreamz: @lanmelforever Bro, that man’s been a Dayman fan since day one.

desertvibes_: Is it just me, or does Amelie and Lando’s “friendship” feel… different? → gridgirlfan_: @desertvibes_ Babe, it’s been feeling different since 2020.

cryingoverame: “Friends” who look at each other like that? Nah. They’re not fooling anyone.

[occudo]

Sooo... anyone got inspired by this drawfee video? Sorry for the departure from my usual stuff, but I had to- also the hades style is so fun to mess around with, I highly recommend! I don't tend to draw real people, so it feels weird, but kinda proud how they turned out :'D

[lovverletters]

Yandere! Streamer x Streamer! Reader

A/N : I'm taking a break from the bullet point format and decided to try making a drabble instead. Huuge thanks to @bloozz for giving streamer his name🌷

T/W : Streamer reader, yandere behaviour, obsessive behaviour, etc

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

"Damnit..! I lost again" He let out a defeated sigh as he watches the 'GAME OVER' screen blinking at him in an almost mocking way.

The chat of his live stream went wild upon his fifth time losing on a game that he had been playing for hours by now and yet he still hasn't been able to beat it.

"Yeahhh, thanks a lot chat! those 'L's you're spamming are definitely helpful" Micha rolled his eyes at the countless mockery his viewer was sending him. He knew it was all jokes- or at least he hope it is.

Deciding that he needed a break from the game, he cracked open a can of soda and laid back against his chair, opting to interact more with his viewers.

He had only been streaming for a few months and had gained a pretty sizeable amount of viewer and fanbase.

Bloozzclues : You should check (insert your streamer name) out! They've beaten this game multiple time and have some useful tips you can use.

"(Y/S/Name)? I've heard of them before, saw a few of their speedruns. I never understand how they manage to get that luck based glitch to work! But thanks bloozz! i'll be sure to check them out after stream" Micha replied to one of the chat and moved on to the others.

Soupispretty :(Y/S/Name) is actually watching your stream rn lol

Micha choked on his drink as he tries to contain his coughs. He almost spat out the soda onto his keyboard and it would've been a nightmare to clean it up.

Scrolling through the main page of the streaming website on his other monitor, lo and behold, the (Y/S/Name) was indeed watching his stream. Specifically, the parts where he lose to the same boss every. single. time.

He felt his cheeks reddened everytime he heard (Name) laughed or giggled at him. They wouldn't just laugh at him though, they would also insert in some advices for him to improve on which made him incredibly jittery with excitement.

(Y/S/Name) also known as (Name) has always been an inspirational figure of his when he first started streaming. To be acknowledged by his idol causes him to be so overwhelmed, he almost fainted from how fast his heart is beating.

The chimes of his subscription's notif brought him back to his senses, Micha's chats were going crazy from the streamer's trance like reaction to (Y/S/Name) stream.

Kafkaismywife : is he okay??

Peachesandcrem : bro looks possessed💀

Collecting what little composure he has anymore, Micha decided to end the stream under the guises of him being exhausted.

"Ahem.. er sorry about that guys, i think the sleep deprivation is getting to me. So, thank you all for being in this stream but I have to log off now!" He smoothly blurted out, getting back into his streaming persona.

After saying goodbyes to his viewers, he clicked the end stream button. Alone with his thoughts, Micha switches the screen back onto your stream.

He knew from then on, his adoration for you had grown into something more. Something deadly and dangerous.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

(Name) let out an exhausted sigh as they had just finished another successful stream. They played horror games for hours and ended the stream by reacting to random clips their viewer sent via mediashare.

"I should probably take a shower and take a long nap right after.." (Name) thought.

Ping!

It was the sound of their notifications, (Name) picked their phone up and clicked on it. They were directed to their twitter where the person had messages them.

Michatwt

Hey! Thanks a lot for the advice you gave me when you reacted to my live

"Oh it's that streamer i watched earlier on stream" (Name) spoke outloud as they quickly typed out a reply.

(Name)ishere

No prob! Thought you needed some tips to beat the game haha

(Name) sent out the reply and Micha replied immediately. 'He sure is a fast typer' they thought.

Michatwt

This might sounds odd but would you be down to make a collab with me? I think it'll be more fun if you teach me on stream

They paused for a moment, thinking over their decision. (Name) have been wanting to make a collab stream before but never got to it. This would be a great opportunity to produce some new content!

(Name)ishere

Sounds good! We'll discuss about this collab later, I got something to do right now

Michatwt

Of course! See you later haha

Somewhere else, Micha was jumping out of joy and practically on his knees thanking the higher beings for this opportunity he's been given to be close to his idol, his (Name).

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

A/N : ending on a cliffnote because this has been rotting in my draft.

[jenscx]

[06] tumblr girls — the love of my life

it was cliché; being in love with danielle marsh, the straightest girl on earth. you thought your feelings were hopeless, until you discover her tumblr blog.

jihye doesn’t know what to do. the revelation that you had known all this time— known about her feelings and affection for you, known about her online persona, known about the side of her that she’s hidden all this time. it’s suffocating. she feels so upset. jihye hasn’t moved from the spot where she last saw you. her parents are sound asleep upstairs and jihye tries to stifle her sobs to not wake them.

she wishes you were joking, just kidding with her. yet, the raw emotion radiating off your words, the apology filled with sorrow and sadness, maybe even regret, it was undeniably true. her knees were weak, wobbling and almost falling off balance.

jihye can’t even tell if this is a whole prank. how could you become her friend so easily just to betray her like that?

her phone vibrates in her bag and as she tries to fish it out with bleary eyes, filled with unshed tears, the flower bouquet staring right at her. each petal glowing with pity and sympathy. a wrenched hand shoots out to grasp her heart, squeezing it in a vice grip.

a choked sob escapes her as she recalls the scene where you had so shyly passed her the bouquet. your bashful smile, the sheepish expression on your face.

god, jihye couldn’t do this right now.

wiping away her tears, she checks her phone. a single message from you.

jeon y/n [10.17pm]:

i’m sorry. i’ll do the project by myself

the project? jihye had totally forgotten about it. she wills herself to move from the same spot, padding to the couch and sinking into the cushion. she doesn’t know how to continue with her school life, having to see you almost every day. it just didn’t make sense how you could play with her feelings so easily. still glaring at your message, jihye lets out a resigned sigh.

the only reason she had even suggested research on human attraction was to try and profess her adoration in a way that wouldn’t be too obvious. but now, what was she meant to do? it felt as if her whole world had collapsed. she didn’t just like you. if it was a simple crush she wouldn’t be feeling this way.

the realisation comes to her hard. this isn’t a mere attraction or infatuation.

it might just be love. she knows now how deep her love runs.

jihye’s so tired of thinking. were all those words of comfort you said to her fake as well? she hadn’t expected you to become her partner in any way. but the moment your name had appeared right next to hers, she knew that she had to use this opportunity to prove something. and right after her stunt in the classroom, seeing you at the football game? jihye bites her lip, thinking about the way you were staring at her. she had pretended not to see you yet, until you had so cutely waved at her. the pure shock overwhelming her, distracting her from the routine and causing her to fall. it was embarrassing, really but your concern for her made up for it.

and the way she had pointed out your jacket! she just couldn’t contain her curiosity and throughout your friendship, you seemed particularly fond of minji. jihye twirls her fingers together, frowning at the thought. you had told her minji and hanni were in a strange situationship but it still didn’t quell her fears that you might have been harbouring some sort of secret feelings for your best friend.

you had confessed to her though. in the midst of your ramble you had explicitly said that you liked her. jihye groans just thinking about it. she doesn’t know what to feel. on one hand, she was betrayed. on the other hand, her crush returned her feelings. why couldn’t you have just not done anything? she would be fine just living with her feelings.

(no she wouldn’t be.)

her finger involuntarily moves to tap on her spotify. it’s the playlist that you made for her playing. jihye feels as if her head might explode. these actions of yours couldn’t be a lie as well, right? she’s going crazy.

this was something straight out of the romance novels she’s read. this isn’t something that would happen to a regular person— how could it be?

she sinks further into the couch. the blouse she had put on previously to look pretty for you itches uncomfortably on her skin. she wants to get rid of the feeling, both physically and emotionally. begrudgingly, jihye brings herself to shower after the taxing day.

that’s what she needs. a cold shower to calm her down.

jihye inhales sharply.

she can get through this. she’s been through many hardships already. this won’t affect her in any way. she’ll just pretend everything was a bad nightmare.

she can get through this, just like she always has.

so that was a lie. jihye cannot get through this. she had gotten out of bed, hair tousled and eyes red from crying. she looked like she had gotten dumped. how could she feel heartbreak without even being in a relationship? the look her mother had on her face was only a testament to how jihye was feeling. wearily, she went to school without eating breakfast. she didn’t have the appetite. it proved to be a bad idea when her stomach growled during the first period. already feeling bad enough, there was a surprise pop quiz for geography that jihye definitely flunked.

not to mention the stares she got from other people in the hallways when she made her way to class. they were most likely questioning why the usually bright and energetic cheerleader was more gloomy than her best friend. even haerin had been confused.

the girl had whispered in her ear conspiratorially, “did she mess up on the date?”

jihye could only laugh wetly, “yeah, kind of.”

maybe the attention from other people was expected, but what wasn’t, was hanni and minji cornering her after school.

she had just finished her last class and she couldn’t wait to leave the school but your friends had swerved to hold her back. the classroom was empty, void of any students left. you had left in a hurry while jihye took her time to pack up. your friends had waited outside before coming in and interrogating her.

“what do you guys want?” jihye tries to ask as nicely as possible but even that comes out harsh.

minji cowers while hanni mumbles, “we want to know what happened between you and… yeah. she’s not herself. well, she’s not okay.”

what about me? jihye wanted to ask. you weren’t the only one affected by this. she remains mum however, choosing not to reply. it would be unsightly to argue with your friends.

“you don’t have to tell us,” minji offers, “we kind of know the whole outline but not the details. are you okay though?”

jihye’s eyes flit upwards. she doesn’t know whether to tell minji and hanni. what if she said something and your friends just relayed it back to you?

sensing her hesitance, hanni says, “we won’t tell her, don’t worry.”

something about the two girls made jihye want to tell them. maybe it was the lack of sympathy in their words, only comforting. they didn’t pity her for being in this situation. it was something jihye needed.

she swallows and states, “she said she likes me.”

both girls’ eyes widened visibly.

“did you reject her?” minji blurts out.

jihye shakes her head, “no, i… i like her too.”

“WHAT?!”

“why’d you reject her?” hanni asks, albeit more calmly than minji’s reaction. jihye only sighs, “because she told me something that betrayed my trust.”

hanni’s face falls into a contemplative look while minji looks flabbergasted. perhaps aghast that her best friend actually had a chance with her crush but ruined it. jihye would think that her expression looks funny if not for the serious matter at hand.

“do you mind telling us more?” she eventually says.

“uhm, only if you don’t tell her anything.”

they exchange a look that makes jihye’s nerves rise before coming to an agreement.

“we swear we won’t,” hanni promises as minji nods feverishly. they don’t look like they would go back on their promise. yet, you didn’t seem like the type to act so rashly either.

“she found out that i liked her,” jihye starts, “because she saw my tumblr blog and she didn’t tell me either until last night. she told me and i… i just couldn’t handle knowing that she saw such a vulnerable and personal side of me.”

“did you not want her to see it?”

“i didn’t. not yet. i was trying to convey my feelings through my actions,” jihye blushes, thinking of the numerous times she’s complimented you, “i thought she was dense. not that she already knew.” even that time when she met you in the library, she had explicitly asked if you liked a song for girls and you had only brushed it off.

hanni scowls, “she’s stupid.”

jihye shrugs. you were stupid. that, she can’t deny.

“are you going to talk to her anytime soon?” minji asks suddenly. jihye doesn’t know if she should. her lips pursed, minji just sighs, “she’s been super depressed lately—”

the girl gets interrupted by hanni elbowing her stomach, shushing her. jihye raises her eyebrows at the way minji just quietens down without a word. she really does listen to hanni, jihye muses, thinking back on your prolonged explanation about your best friends’ relationship with each other.

“we’re not saying that to… y’know, try and get you to talk to her,” hanni says frantically, “but i think you need it as much as she does.” some part of her subconscious mind feels that there’s truth in hanni’s words. jihye needs to set a clear boundary with you.

“just think about it, okay?” the shorter girl whispers softly. jihye nods stiffly.

before she even gets to reply, both minji and hanni leave, hand in hand, might she add. they don’t turn back to look at her and jihye appreciates it. for if they do, they might have seen the broken look in her eyes, farcast and stormy.

you’re lounging on your couch, still thinking about your wrongdoings with jihye. the soft ambiance of the playlist made for her plays in the background while you stare emptily at the blank tv screen. you haven’t felt like this in a long time. defeated and desperate for any semblance of comfort.

on the coffee table lay your laptop, open with the display of your presentation on your project with jihye. it’s completed. you finished it after pulling an all-nighter and you could see jihye’s icon popping up to check in on the progress. your fingers fly out to message her but you manage to restrain yourself, knowing that anything you said now would only widen the irreversible gap you’ve created.

minji and hanni had tried endlessly to cheer you up but to no avail. it seemed like you were just a shell of a person. blank face, blank stares, unwavering expressions of steel. a week has passed since your confession with no further development of your collapsing friendship with jihye.

you glance longingly at the laptop screen again, just as jihye’s icon disappears. there’s a comment left under the last slide.

mo jihye: good job.

it’s so ridiculous that a miniscule remark could cause happiness to bloom within you. jihye really doesn’t need to do much to make you happy. and it’s a sad realisation that this would be the last thing connecting you to the cheerleader.

you can’t believe that weeks worth of getting to befriend jihye has all gone down in the drain because of your own stupidity and recklessness. you had a chance to prove that you weren’t like the rest.

“what are you doing?” your entire body jolts at the sudden question from heejin. she blinks at you, confused at why you were staring so intently at the laptop.

“none of your business.”

heejin scowls before plopping herself right next to you on the couch. “you look ugly. did you cry?”

you groan, “shut up. i’m not okay.”

your sister merely rolls her eyes.

“something to do about that girl that you liked?”

“obviously.”

“why? what happened? and before you tell me to shut up again, this is me trying to be a good older sister,” heejin says, “tell me what’s wrong or else i’ll get mum.”

sighing, you bring your knees up to your chest, curling up beside the armrest of the couch, “i messed up with her and i don’t think she wants me near her.”

“is that why you came home crying?”

your head shoots up, “you saw me?”

heejin shrugs, “just a glimpse of you going into your room. i was getting water for hyunjin.”

the separation from jihye must have hit you hard since you don’t tease heejin about hyunjin.

“did she reject you? is that why? she’s straight?” heejin asks. you shake your head, chuckling sadly, “she likes me back.”

“so? what happened?”

“i can’t tell you, heej. but the way she looked at me that night,” you can already feel your chest constricting in pain from the sheer memory of jihye’s harsh gaze, “i don’t think i can even try to fix this.”

your sister nods understandingly but still retorts, “do or do not. there is no try.”

you’re a little thrown off by her wisdom.

“yoda. star wars episode five,” heejin laughs. what the hell— “it fits though right? you just need to show her that you’re beyond your mistakes.”

“you’re stupid,” her silly remark makes you laugh though. you feel some sort of gratitude for heejin’s dorky behaviour. it gives you comfort knowing that even though your relationship with jihye was hanging by a lifeline, everything else would stay the same.

“show her,” she says firmly, “that you’re serious.”

“how?” it truly is the only question you can ask. showing jihye that you’re serious about her? if you couldn’t portray it as words, how else could you convey such a heartfelt emotion? it wasn’t a discontinuous variation that was measurable.

heejin smiles softly and for the first time, you’re starstruck, wondering how you could have ended up with someone like her by your side.

“that’s all you,” she encourages, “be vulnerable. she’s built up walls around her because she’s afraid of getting hurt. if you can show her your true self, maybe she’ll open up too.”

you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“thanks heej.” you can’t put it into words how thankful you are for your sister’s presence. it’s so overwhelming that it nearly brings tears to your eyes again—

“deadass.”

“that is not what that means—”

just as the clock strikes one, the bell rings. you glance up from your chemistry worksheet and dread starts to accumulate within you. the next class was the one where you had to present your project with jihye and just the mere thought of standing near her had you trembling like a leaf. you had come to terms with the fact that jihye might not forgive you but you at least had to talk to her. now, the only thing left, and the hardest part was to in fact, talk to her.

you gulp just as minji and hanni quieten down, both coming to the same realisation and turning to you hastily. other than heejin, your best friends have been pillars of support for you. even though you didn’t reveal what your exact troubles were, they still stuck by you. it was nice to have someone. you had hoped that jihye had people to take care of her as well. unless she was unaffected by everything but you don’t visit that thought often.

when mr lee strolls into class, he’s sporting a wide grin. you already know where this is headed and soon, your suspicions come through when he flashes on the projector, in big, bold words, the first group’s presentation.

resisting the urge to avert your eyes to jihye’s back, you force your gaze onto your bumbling classmates who head to the front of the class.

of course you don’t notice the way jihye’s body has been tensed up since the start of class.

you barely pay attention to the presentation, subconsciously focusing on your palpitating heart instead. it beats painfully against your ribcage, almost breaking through it. you can’t feel anything but anxiety and fear.

“—thank you for that presentation,” mr lee says as he types fiercely on his laptop, “next is minji and jiwoo.”

you watch your friend walk up to the front, sending her an encouraging smile while hanni chuckles silently.

“begin whenever you want, girls.”

again, you don’t pay attention. nothing is absorbed into your head. the only thing residing there is a blurry haze of bright doe eyes and a gleaming smile. it's scarily similar to the girl sitting just a few rows ahead of you.

a few minutes pass as your eyes eventually end up boring holes into the brunette’s back. your eyes flicker upwards when the class starts applauding. oh. minji and jiwoo both bow and take their seats again.

“alright, i think we have time for one more?” mr lee says to himself, scrolling down on his mouse. he looks up, “jihye and y/n?”

you gulp, standing up with the whispers of comfort from minji and hanni behind you.

(“i hope she doesn’t start crying,” minji mutters.

hanni nods, “that would be bad. but funny.”)

each step you take feels like you’re inching closer to your death. your footsteps resound in your head, echoing louder than the depreciating voices you hear. jihye’s already standing awkwardly in front, fidgeting with her fingers. you don’t dare to raise your head.

“start whenever you’re ready.”

jihye clears her throat, her eyes flitting to the projector screen displaying your presentation.

“we decided to research human attraction,” her voice trails off at the end before coming back stronger, “it’s deeply rooted in our psychology and biology, combining the two, making it an interesting topic. hence, we started with analysing the human brain.” her words, even though they were consistently rehearsed, still felt like music to your ears. you’ve heard her say this exact thing numerous times but anytime that she talks, it feels like time stops.

she stares at you and for a moment, you’re in a daze before you realise it’s your turn.

“there are many forms of attraction; sexual, physical, emotional, romantic and aesthetic. we can be attracted to someone based off their emotional capabilities and not their physical appearance and vice versa,” you click to the next slide, showcasing data and studies from the late nights you’ve spent with jihye researching, “we generally find someone attractive if they have similar interests as us. we believe that they share a common outlook on life and adapt to the same behavioural patterns.”

you don’t need research to prove that true. you know that through all the conversations about music with jihye, it strengthened your liking towards her.

as jihye explains further, you can only gaze longingly at her. she’s never felt so far away from you. even her body language, turned away and facing the class instead of you.

“there’s been numerous studies done on human attraction but no one has been able to accurately define what is attractive to us. due to the complexity of the human mind, we can’t really outright state that something attracts us,” you explain but you can’t disagree further.

you can most definitely define what attracts you. a cheerful and silly girl from australia that’s for sure.

“yet, despite the science and psychology behind human attraction, there’s been a lingering question of whether we truly feel attraction or we’re forced into it. people who are asexual and aromantic may not feel the same as us. attraction can’t be measured. this begs the question of whether attraction is spiritual in nature. some may say that they feel an undeniable connection with another person, deeming it to be their soulmate,” the word leaves a bitter taste on your tongue. it’s scalding and toxic. soulmates. what a phenomenon.

“the idea of fate is popular. maybe the universe has created your destiny in such a way that you would end up with this person no matter what,” jihye says, “that’s what attracts you to someone you barely know.”

you barely knew jihye. she was just another crush out of your league. yet, she still ended up meeting you. was it fate too? you don’t believe in soulmates, but if you did, you would want jihye to be yours.

“their one true love,” jihye repeats, “even though a person can experience multiple forms of attraction. they believe in finding a soul destined for them. there has been no evidence that people are fated for each other. but it’s a nice thought, isn’t it?”

the rest of the presentation goes by in a blur as you think about jihye’s last words. fate. what a funny thing to say. it is a nice thought; to have someone out there, waiting for you to come into their life.

perhaps it truly was fate that you were assigned to be jihye’s partner. maybe every single time you’ve met her, it was fate. and every single time you didn’t, it opened up another reality where you would eventually end up at her door, apologising once more. maybe in every single universe, you were doomed to a life of misery, caused by your own foolishness.

and maybe if you never clicked on her tumblr blog, you would go on with your life, never knowing if that girl in high school ever liked you back.

“—thank you, y/n and jihye.”

you snap out of your reverie when jihye nudges you slightly. blinking a few times, you head back to your seat wobbly.

“are you okay? you kinda zoned out there,” hanni whispers. you nod, still trying to steady your bearings.

everything you’ve thought about. it doesn’t matter anymore. it has never mattered because in the end, you’re not the one destined for jihye. maybe she deserves someone better. someone that has enough confidence to believe in their own capabilities rather than resort to such ways. there was never a need for you to invade her privacy. should you even try to ask for forgiveness anymore?

you still should. because jihye deserves a proper apology, even if you don’t deserve her forgiveness.

“hey, after this i’m gonna stay back to talk to danielle for a bit,” you inform minji and hanni, who both simultaneously light up.

as the class ends, you pack your bag extra slowly, keeping a close eye on jihye. her hands tremble as she packs up. you wonder if she’s okay. everyone soon leaves and just as jihye’s about to exit the door, you voice out, “can we talk?”

her head turns and there’s a look of exasperation and confusion swirling in her eyes before she nods.

“y-you don’t have to say anything… or forgive me but i just want to apologise properly,” you mutter. jihye nods again.

taking a deep breath, you sigh, “i know i really messed up and it was a decision i made consciously. that i won’t deny. i was just desperate and it caused you harm, so i shouldn’t even have the right to continue liking you. but i want you to know that my feelings are true and i’m not lying about liking you. so, i’m sorry for invading your privacy like that.”

jihye tugs on her bag strap nervously, bouncing on her heels as she whispers, “i don’t know if i can do this.”

you feel a sliver of hope and joy that she isn’t outright rejecting you.

“th-that’s okay,” you struggle to mask your happiness, “i just wanted you to know how much you matter to me. if you don’t want to pursue a romantic relationship. i really would like it if we stayed friends too… i just need you in my life, danielle.”

the brunette nimbles on her bottom lip, her face full of uncertainty. you want to squeal at her cuteness. she looks even prettier today, maybe because it’s been so long since you’ve seen her up close. you take the time to admire her facial features in case she gets a restraining order on you.

”i like you too, but…”

“you can’t trust me?” you complete the sentence for her. and even though it hurts, jihye nods. you chuckle, “that’s okay. what can i do for you to trust me again?”

“you really hurt me.”

“i know, i’m sorry.”

jihye frowns, her eyebrows furrowing in concentration, “when did you start liking me?”

“when i moved blocks,” you admit. you have an inkling jihye just wants to embarrass you but even now, you don’t mind. it feels like deja vu when you first confessed, but maybe the girl blocked out everything from that night. you would want to forget it all too. “i saw you in the hallway and kind of got a hallway crush. then i kept noticing you in my classes.”

“what do you like about me?”

oh, this was easy.

“i like a lot of things about you, maybe everything,” your answer brings out a gorgeous blush on her cheeks, “i like the way you smile at everyone, the way you always look for the good in people, the positive outlook you have on life. i really adore the way you smile though.”

jihye turns her face away but you can even spot the redness heating up on her face. now your reply seems a little corny.

“sorry,” you mumble.

“it’s… it’s okay. i appreciate it,” she smiles. oh my god, she smiles— “most people just talk about my looks.”

“you’re beautiful, both in terms of appearance and personality.”

the brunette laughs softly and the sound is so delightful that you could cry. clearly your answers made jihye’s walls shrink slightly.

“i really like you, i swear,” you try to say earnestly, “if you push me away, i’ll accept it but i can’t promise that i’ll stop liking you.”

jihye shakes her head, “you can continue to like me and… i don’t think i want you to stop either.”

your eyes light up as you take in her words.

“does that mean—”

“yes y/n, i’m forgiving you,” jihye sighs. you can barely control yourself when you reach out to embrace the girl, throwing your arms over her shoulders and gripping to the back of her uniform tightly. neither can you contain the tears that fall, your contentment bursting at the seams and the adoration for jihye exploding in your heart. she relaxes in your hold, rubbing your waist gingerly.

“don’t mess up a second time, okay?” she teases cutely. you nod fervently, “i swear i won’t. i like you so much.”

you sigh happily, “thank you, danielle.”

there’s a moment of silence before jihye utters,

“call me jihye.”

masterlist | next

🎙️ author’s note: andddd tumblr girls has officially ended! i’ll try my best to come up with an epilogue of jihye and yn but as of now, this au is finished. thank you to everyone who has supported tumblr girls!! unfortunately i couldn’t finish it on tumblr girl’s one year anniversary (one year damn.) but at least it’s somewhere close LOL anyway i hope that you guys all enjoyed tumblr girls 🤍

[another-goblin]

Doc and Gambler: An essay A disjointed musing

I've been thinking about the words they use to address or refer to each other. Gambler and Doctor are rather special nicknames. I can't think of other characters who talk to each other a lot but avoid calling each other by actual names so deliberately.

First of all, of course I can see it as a sign of their relationship. They are old friends, so it makes sense that they have cute special names for each other.

Can there be other explanations?

1. We never see them use each other's actual first names.

It's understandable with Aventurine. If he's ever comfortable being called Kakavasha, it's definitely not now. And I can understand if he'd prefer Kakavasha to just remain a happy, innocent child in his memories forever.

It's more interesting with Ratio. Nobody calls him just "Veritas" (I think?..) He's referred to as Veritas Ratio in some official situations in his character stories. Even his elderly professor, who talks about teaching Ratio when he was a child, only calls him "Ratio."

Actually, I remember a theory that "Veritas" isn't a personal name but a kind of honorific. Maybe a title that Veritas University gives to its most distinguished members. But if Veritas is his actual first name, then I think it's quite significant that nobody seems to call him that. Especially while all of the other characters who have identifiable western-style first and second names are mostly referred to by their first name. (I'm sorry, I don't know how the Xianzhou characters' names work.)

A little off topic, but is Ratio even his real name? According to the wiki, his full name means "truth of the matter," and his Chinese name means "doctor truth." What a coincidence that a person with such a name became a famous scientist. Although there can be other explanations too.

2. They do use each other's more commonly used names sometimes (I think Ratio called him Aventurine once in the game when discussing him with us, and Aventurine addressed Ratio by name a couple of times). But it's mostly nicknames. Mostly Doc(tor) and Gambler, but also "learned professor," "knowledgeable friend," and a hundred of silly ways Ratio refers to Aventurine. I made a whole post about it long ago.

3. Can it be because all of their direct interaction happened in Penacony, in the middle of a murder mystery somewhat reminiscent of the board game Clue, with our little "Mrs. Peacock" and "Professor Plum" here just imitating the naming conventions of such a game? Like archetypes from a classical detective story, where most characters can be described with one word like that. But it's a bit of a crack theory.

4. The only situation we saw them talking to each other was when they had to play their roles for Sunday.

It's interesting that Sunday later proceeds to call Ratio just "doctor" or "learned doctor" too, the way Aventurine did. I mean, strictly speaking, there isn't anything unusual in calling a doctor "doctor", but it's funny in an awkward way. Imagine two close friends having special names for each other. And then a complete stranger who's been eavesdropping starts using these names too. Umm, that's "Dr. Ratio", Mr. Sunday, thank you very much.

Btw, that's another point to the theory that Sunday only knows (and tries to use against them) the things they deliberately fed him through their conversations.

So it might be that they did it deliberately for Sunday to hear. Like, see? we are so not friends that we don't even call each other by name. But then we see them using similar words when mentioning each other while talking to other people, and in Aventurine's thoughts too (in mission descriptions during Double Indemnity).

5. Although it might still be the way for them to try and distance themselves from each other, at least verbally, trying to deny the obvious special connection between them.

6. Or maybe it's about their "masks". They both have public personas to hide their real selves behind. (Ratio directly tells us about it and wears a literal mask to hide behind, and Aventurine's whole Harmony ordeal was basically to show his inner self, so unlike the confident and cocky Aventurine other people know.)

But they know each other better and see deeper than just their public personas of "Aventurine" and "Dr. Ratio". And it's still too early in their relationship to prod deeper ("Kakavasha" and "Veritas"). So a secret third thing it is.

[hetalimagines]

General headcanons for Alfred as a boyfriend (SFW)

Here's my first actual post on this blog, hehe... I can't find the ask but someone requested some Alfred headcanons, so here are my rambles about what I think he's like as a boyfriend!

He’s honestly not the most traditionally romantic person. Your relationship is more like friends who make out sometimes. But he does have his own little ways of showing you he loves you!

He’ll put together playlists of songs that remind him of you. They’re mostly loose connections, like maybe a song mentions your eye color, or the lyrics remind him of a date you went on together, or it just sounds romantic and makes him wanna kiss you. He likes to sit with you while you listen (to every single song), and he interrupts the songs a bit to explain why he chose them.

“This one had me thinking what if we were dancing in a ballroom together, and out of nowhere, bam! Zombies bust in. The door crashes to the ground! Our dance turns into one of those cool fighting scenes with the—oh, this part reminded me of the time I woke up early and you were about to fall off the bed. You had a cute bedhead.”

(You have no idea what the lyrics are at this point.)

Dates with him are pretty casual, more like “hanging out” than anything fancy. Maybe you stay at home and watch movies/play games, or you go out for dinner at a local diner, or you go do awful karaoke together, or you go and prank a friend together.

He’s happy as long as he’s with you. Bonus if there’s food and/or drink.

He occasionally takes you out to a more traditional restaurant and dresses for the occasion. They’re usually expensive, too. The food isn’t his preference (too complicated for his palate), but if it makes you happy, he’s all for dealing with it for just one night.

His primary love languages are acts of service and quality time. He’s always doing what he can to help you out (and feel proud of himself in the process). Whether he helps you run errands, runs a bath for you ahead of time, or fluffs your pillow before you get in bed, it’s all because he wants to make your life easier!

He gets a little jealous if you ever spend time with your shared friends without him, or if you spend more time with others than him.

He’s so excited if you take interest in any of his hobbies. Movies? He’ll ask if you want to co-write a script with him. (He’s very relaxed about what exactly ends up in the script.) Archaeology? He has so many random facts to dump on you, and he’ll be super impressed by any knowledge you have on it. Conspiracy theories? Time to watch a bunch of documentaries! He enjoys them despite their flaws, but lets you know exactly when something is false and what actually happened.

He tries to take interest in your hobbies, too, even if he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. It could be the most boring thing and he’d still listen and ask you questions about it. If it makes you happy, he wants to know all about it.

Pet names from him consist of things like babe, dude (💀), honey, occasionally sweetie, (jokingly… mostly) prince or princess. It’s all over the place. He’ll call you honey and dude back-to-back sometimes.

He loves debating if you’re comfortable with it! But be warned, he gets very heated about certain topics. His sense of justice is important to him. Otherwise, he’s usually not serious about these debates and doesn’t care who wins.

He tries to keep things light and doesn’t usually let people see his more serious side. He’ll open up to you more over time, however. It’s really him letting a wall down and allowing himself to get closer to you.

Every now and then, he has days where he’s a lot quieter and calmer than usual. He just wants to relax, stay on the couch with you and watch movies or simply chat. Maybe a movie chattering in the background as he tells you about his childhood. He doesn’t try so hard to keep up this energetic, heroic persona.

He’s right back to normal the next day like nothing happened.

Likes to annoy you for fun. Not in a mean-spirited way. He just thinks your responses are cute and has poor impulse control. Poking your cheeks or ruffling your hair or playing an obnoxious song loudly on the stereo while he dances. But he’ll back off if you’re genuinely upset with him. He means no harm.

He loves if you’re willing to play along with whatever he gets up to. Maybe he’s decided he’s going to try and vacuum the whole house while doing a handstand on the vacuum. You can hold onto his legs to help him stay balanced.

This man is very impulsive and has a tendency to get himself hurt. Random bruises all over his body or a cut along his forearm. He bounces back easily, and doesn’t want to fuss over it, but he lowkey likes if you baby him about it. He’ll always say how it’s not a big deal and he can take it, but his heart does this little flutter when you show concern, and even more if you force him to take better care of himself.

He burns himself in the kitchen and you force him to run it under cold water. He’s swooning inside.

He likes to gossip about others, especially over breakfast. He can’t help it; he’s just nosy, and he always has an idea of what’s going on and how he can help out. Huge bonus if you gossip with him!

He loves to feed you, but the majority of the food he brings for you is burgers or tubs of ice cream. He likes to experiment with the burgers’ toppings and seasonings, but they’re all burgers nonetheless.

Every now and then, he does plan some big romantic endeavor. It’s like a surprise. You never know when it’s coming… You wake up one morning and find out he’s booked a week long cruise, your bedroom is filled with balloons, and there’s enough breakfast food on the table to feed an army.

He does this thing sometimes (often) where he swoops in and has to save you. A puddle on the ground? No need to fear! He picks you up and swiftly carries you over it. The safest place for you is in his arms. He’ll even lay down and let you use him as a bridge if you want.

A suspicious penny on the sidewalk? LOOK OUT, IT MIGHT BE A BOMB! Let HIM step on it before you get blown up!

He steps on it. Nothing happens. Better safe than sorry!

If you’re the more independent type, that won’t stop him from trying. He just wants to keep you safe and have you appreciate his efforts. Being disinterested or resistant will just make him try harder.

Says cheesy stuff like “happy wife, happy life” unironically. He’s also the type to use terrible pickup lines to flirt with you. Totally unaware of how bad they are until you start laughing.

He also doesn’t care that they’re bad. He’s just having fun.

Loves to give you his clothes to wear. Seriously. You want one of his hoodies? Try six of them.

You complain when one stops smelling like him so he puts it on, works out, then gives it back to you like :D! Fixed the problem!

He takes so many pictures of you guys. Videos, too. His phone storage is eaten up by it. His favorite thing is to take selfies together. Usually with some silly filter. Or an even sillier caption.

“me and the babe out shopping” and it’s a picture of you, holding a piece of fruit with the dog ears filter

He’s not the most physically affectionate, but he always gives you morning kisses and especially kisses before leaving the house. He also loves carrying you around (mostly bridal style) in his arms for no reason other than he can. A hand on your back, another on your thighs, your head pressed against his chest. He loves it.

He loves knowing you find him physically attractive! He worries sometimes about being too overweight, so any reassurance that you like his body helps. If you think he’s hot, and you’re hot yourself, that must mean he definitely is.

Has a tendency to call you hot, but he’ll call you other things if it makes you uncomfortable.

Occasionally brags about you and how lucky he is. Not as often as you might think. Though he gets oddly competitive if anyone acts like their partner is better than you and starts spouting whatever he can so everyone knows you’re the absolute best. No competition.

[futuremrscameron]

kook!jj

content warnings: drug use, mommy issues, sexual harassment, gun violence, classism, underage drinking, attempted murder, neglectful parents, light misogyny, jj being a jerk, manipulative behavior, jokes about incest, arguably cruel jj

born jackson junior genrette, after larissa’s father and called junior by chandler

he’s really close to his mom because chandler often goes on “business trips” for long periods of time and he hates the way he treats her. he’s a mama’s boy

hates when chandler tries to buy his love but will use his deep pockets to his advantage (buying a new bike, weed, coke, etc.,)

acts out in school to get his father’s attention only to end up dropping out his junior year much to his mother’s chagrin. his feelings for chandler reach an all time low when he discovers that he’s not even his real father.

besties/rivals with rafe. they are the same yet so different, you see one the other is not far behind, just terrorizing pogues and taking secret sips from their flask to make it through stuffy events

kook!jj still has the peacekeeper™️. he found it (read: stole it from a pogue after he finished beating the shit out of him for threatening him with it) in the cut. he almost never uses it. almost. he whips it out from time to time to scare impress girls and show off to guys. he still practices on teddy bears but it’s actually used, the first time it’s used is by rafe at the tarmac. jj is so pissed he implicated him in the murder of the sheriff but helps him “take care of it”. rafe knows nothing jj does is out of the kindness of his heart, he scratched his back so he’ll scratch his

does coke instead of weed (he tried shrooms and molly once but after the incident™️ never again). rafe got adderrall from barry during his short stint at college and let jj try it. jj thought it didn’t work until he found himself applying for his ged and ordering the catering his mom asked him to order a week ago

a biker instead of a surfer. while canon!jj balances both worlds, kook!jj prefers to feel the wind in his hair while on the ground. he loves his baby, treats her better than actual women, and does not let anyone touch her. she’s a gift from his mother so he takes extra good care of her

throws the wildest parties, sometimes with rafe sometimes solo. if cops break up his party cause of a noise complaint, he pays them off (if it’s not shoupe) or runs

kook!jj and rafe allegedly share girls (and some boys). it’s not as likely as the rumors say though since they have different types

speaking of girls, kook!jj is a total creep to girls. at parties, he scans the crowd for his prey and descends like a hawk, following them around the whole time, playing up his harmless goofy persona, dragging them into drinking games so she can “loosen up”, offering to drive her home (if she came with friends, it’s a 50/50 chance they’ll let him take their girl home)

jj tends to gravitate towards pogue girls and says they’re “less trouble” than kook girls. he can do whatever he wants without having to worry about the girls running their mouths about it because they know they should be thanking him for even entertaining them

jj does not hate pogues as much as rafe; yeah, he thinks he's better than them, but he doesn't hate them. he will join in on whatever harassment bordering on crime rafe pulls, but only under two circumstances; if the act is interesting enough, he'll do it. if he's bored, he might do it

kook!jj has a morbid sense of humor, the type that makes people question if he’s joking or confessing a crime. it’s not edgelord shit and it doesn’t have the cadence of a joke; it’s just him saying something with a straight face and laughing at everyone’s reaction. he’s met with awkward chuckles, sighs of relief, and shoulder shoves, but they still don’t know if he was just fucking with them or sharing his dark thoughts

loves messing with rafe, though if you were to ask him, he would deny it. truthfully, he hates when rafe acts like the perfect kook king, it grinds his gears cause he knows that's not who he is and thinks he's shit at pretending to be that guy, especially in front of parents and some tourons (it's also a bonus that he gets to see him crash out)

a bunch of the boys are gathered around a mini bonfire well after the party's ended. jj suggested the game 'smash or pass' for seemingly no reason, but rafe knows better. nothing jj does is innocent or an afterthought.

jj takes a swig from their shared flask and passes it back to some guy he's already forgotten the name of. he claps, “okay, my turn, smash or pass… sarah.”

“dude what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“what? i’m just playing the game. plus i’m sure rafe’s dying to know which one of his friends wants to fuck his sister. isn’t that right raf-”

he’s sucker punched.

“jesus!” “fuck man!”

“fuck you jj.” he stomps off, ignoring topper’s calls for him to come back.

some guys he recognizes from his gym class help him up. he wipes the dirt off his legs, pushes his hair back, and grins.

“well that’s his answer. how ‘bout you fellas?”

does not get along with topper at all, thinks he’s slimy and pathetic. it’s why he loves to riling him up, whether it be flirting with sarah or calling him a punk ass bitch to his face

kook!jj is in a situationship (if you can even call it that) with figure eight’s resident outcast, weird girl!kook. they officially meet at midsummers; he snuck away to smoke and saw her smoking in his spot while sketching. he tried his usual technique on her, but she was very uninterested and didn't even try to keep the conversation flowing. he called her a 'bitch' and she laughed, he asked what she was sketching; she showed him a disturbingly accurate drawing of him no more than a couple minutes ago and the rest is history

kook!jj reacts better to the news of chandler not being his father than jj does to the news of luke not being his father. part of him always knew that chandler was too different, too cold, to be his father; he's more shocked that his mother had the balls to cheat on him

jj tries to kill chandler after finding out he tried to kill his mother when she found out she was pregnant with him

chandler tried to talk his way out of it, but jj was not having it; he knew who his father was—a conman, a liar, and a thief. he knew the man was just biding his time before jj got bored of entertaining his final words and pulled the trigger when he dropped the bomb of his true parentage on him. he uses jj's shock make his escape

kook!jj who pogues and kooks alike can agree is an agent of chaos

[hazerun3]

I just saw your post about the difference between passive and swan. I'd like to ask the difference between young swad and dream?

shittier doodle this time cuz Im getting tired but the ramblings are probably more unhinged

I dont have particularly strong feelings on dream so this is gonna be mostly younger swad and comparisons to dream when needed

-Views social interaction as inherently transactional and as a game that he can learn to play (he doesnt realise that in the village he was never going to be a player on equal ground, this is why after his ascension his persona is more deity ified rather than a king or smth like nm cuz he wants to be Above it all and in control.)

-Been obsessed with swan even as passives (His Duty to help people got drilled into him, the village feels entitled to his help and swad slowly grows tired of them, but his little brother is always kind to him and doing things for him feels so much more rewarding [tho eventually the village tries to stifle any attempts swad does to get something nice for his brother which frustrates swad so much and swan not asking for anything and just being happy to see him and trying so hard just to make swad happy, even as hes hurt fuels this.] so the mix of the sense of duty, him being the older brother so self imposing a sense of responsibility and swan being nice to him leads him to adopt a mentality where Swan is the only one whos special and actually cares about him not just what he can do for him, but with the way hes raised by the village he tries desperately to try and do something for swan in return cuz he still feels like hes failing in his part of the social bargain)

-Also the cult village placed sooooo much value on stuff like never being angry, always being happy :), youre not allowed to be mean, you Must be hardworking all the time, visibly showing that youre sad is Evil. And swad seethes constantly cuz no one in this fucking village follows that and the one person who embodies all these values the most is swan (who everyone still hates for reasons inexplicable to swad, who believes theres still a way to get swan out of his outcast status if the village just realises that swan is the kindest soul in this rotten place.)

-Dream maintains a more "child" status in the village even as hes older than when swad fights to "adult" status, seeing it as a way to get more social power cuz he picked up that Adults have more power than Children but lol not for him, he just gets to have more responsibilites, the expectation to cut off swan and no money OR gifts for his work cuz gifts are for children doing chores not working adults and since its both swads duty and the fact that he doesnt have anything to spend it on that wouldnt be spending it unwisely they just dont pay him at all! and also hes an object not an adult to them so rushing to try and be an adult backfired miserably

-Swad loves listening to swan read stories to him, reallly wants to be the Prince who saves the damsel and sets his enemies on fire and he projects that persona

-Both he and dream were taken hunting I think, but dream didnt take to it (he had a knack for archery but as soon as he was told to turn that arrow on an innocent bunny he couldnt do it, his more "child" status helps him get out of it) swad was also aprehensive at first but since he places a lot of importance in being the Older Brother and being responsible (also he wants to kill people) so he shoots the bunny, he feels bad and cries about it to swan but he cant let go of the feeling, the smell of blood, the idea of that being someone who hurt swan

-in my head he killed people already lol (used the hunting trips as cover but his hit list is soooooo long and he gets less and less opportunity...)

-he loves shiny things so much but being materialistic and greedy is one of the sins, swan cant get him anything but he does press little flower ornaments for his brother and so much flower jewlery so that swad can roleplay being a prince.

-he hates everyone soooooooo much <3

[sakuralovespossums]

JJK Teachers x Autistic Student Reader (Platonic)

Satoru Gojo 🩵

It’s obvious that jujutsu society still lives by old fashioned and bigoted ideals (ie. hating women and non-sorcerers) so it wouldn’t surprise me if they were also ableist.

As a result, it can be pretty challenging being a neurodivergent sorcerer student without options for accommodations or counseling, as if being a sorcerer student itself wasn’t hard enough.

Still, you tried your best to mask your autism and keep up with your peers the best you could.

This didn’t go unnoticed by Gojo though (the guy sees through everything, c’mon)

He would quickly take notice of your behavior and habits (stimming, disassociation, difficulty grasping social queues)

He suspects that you may be on the spectrum and looks into your student files to confirm. Once he’s proven right, he decides to do some research on it himself so that he can better understand and help you.

One day after class, Gojo calls you to stay for a minute so you guys can talk.

“Hey y/n! Mind if we chat for a bit? It’ll only be a minute!”

You feel nervous as you walk towards him, hoping you didn’t do anything wrong.

“Listen, I know we’re not exactly in the same boat, but I know what it’s like to mask around others all the time.” He says while pulling his eye mask.

He tells you he gets feeling different from everyone and having to put on a persona to make them like you.

“Just know that you don’t have to wear it around me. I’m your teacher and I wanna get to know the real y/n. Course, it’s up to you though. I’m not pushing.”

He then tells you that he’ll make the accommodations you need to help make your classroom experience less stressful.

And if any of those old geazers complain about it, they’ll have to take it to him.

You don’t even realize you’re crying until he hands you a napkin with your favorite character printed on it.

It’s a gift he got for you from his recent mission.

You happily accept it and wipe your tears away before embracing him in a tight hug. He returns the hug with one arm as he looks down at you with a genuine smile.

He’s glad he could reach out to you and make you feel safe around him.

Since then, Gojo takes more note of your autism and accommodates to it however he can.

You’d think he wouldn’t care with how……insensitive he can be, but he does acknowledge the impact mental health can have on people. He couldn’t be there for Suguru, but he’ll try to be there for you.

He asks you what kind of foods you like/don’t like before he leaves for his missions, so that he knows what kind of snacks to bring back for you.

Makes sure you understand the instructions and materials in class. He’ll check on you privately, just in case you don’t want him asking you in front of the other students.

Will still make you the butt of some of his jokes (but it’s never to make fun of your autism).

He just finds your difficulty with grasping his sarcastic humor too good an opportunity to not poke fun at.

Can still come off as insensitive sometimes (it’s Gojo) but is trying his best. Just let him know when he’s said/done something to upset you and he’ll stop.

Sometimes when it’s just you two, he’ll listen to you explain your current special interests.

Imagine him listening to you talk about your favorite show on the phone while fighting a special grade curse.

“Mmhmm, yeah? Hold on a sec y/n.” He finishes killing off the giant curse in front of him. “Sorry about that, you were saying?”

He knows what it’s like to be easily overstimulated since his six eyes enhance all his senses. He also gets migraines a lot because of it, just like you.

If you have/had a Digimon hyper fixation, you’re his #1 student now. He will test you on your Digimon knowledge. You’ll both get lost in back-and-forth conversations about the lore, show, and games. If he deems you a worthy fan, he’ll even let you play his old Digimon games.

The highest form of honor you could receive from him.

When you and your class are out in town and enter a crowded area, if you feel extremely overwhelmed, Gojo will teleport you out of there to a place with less people.

Either that or he’ll grab you and turn on his infinity, giving you space from the bumping crowd of bodies around you.

If you’re going through a burnout and need to be away from people for a bit, he’ll understand and probably leave a candy outside your door.

He knows you need extra help and accommodations with your disability, but he never treats you differently from his other students and knows you’re tough enough to handle whatever’s thrown at you.

You are a sorcerer, after all.

He wants to guide the next generation of stronger sorcerers where no one gets left behind, including those like you.

“Gojo-sensei, why are you staring at that corner?”

“Just trying to figure out why you’re always staring at it during class. What makes it more interesting than me?”

“Sensei!!”

:))

Nanami Kento 🥖

He also quickly notices your autism and makes sure you feel comfortable unmasking around him.

He does NOT tolerate discrimination/unfair treatment of any kind towards people based on their disabilities.

I imagine one of his coworkers at his old accounting job was on the spectrum and understood how challenging it could be for them. So he would try to help them however he could.

Because of this, he has more personal experience under his belt to better understand how to work with you.

He thinks it’s shit how a lot of society and the education system (both in and out of jujutsu society) are so unaccommodating to people with physical/mental health needs.

If you have a hyper fixation with bread and/or cooking, he’ll gladly listen to you talk about it however long you want while donning his usual stoic expression.

Don’t worry, he’s not bored or annoyed. As a fellow culinary lover himself, he’s genuinely interested in listening to you talk and will engage in the conversation.

The way you enthusiastically talk about your interests reminds him a bit of Haibara.

He admires your attention to detail and strong sense of empathy towards people, animals, and inanimate objects.

His low voice is very calming to you.

If you follow a specific schedule and/or organized, he’ll admire that too since he also hates falling behind schedule.

If you are spacing out during an important briefing about a mission, he’ll say your name to get your attention or gently pat your shoulder.

“L/n-san…”

“Oh, sorry!”

“That’s alright. Do you want me to repeat what I just said?”

If you’re in a dissociative episode, he’ll calmly ask you what’s bothering you and help you work through it however he can.

If you’re going through a burnout and need to be alone for a while, he’ll understand and give you as much space as you need.

He might knock on your door to give you a small packaged pastry. He hopes it helps.

He understands you may have some internalized ableism, so he makes sure to speak positively of your autism to help you build your confidence.

“L/n-san, why do you have a coat with you when it’s March?”

“Oh, well it was pretty cold this morning. And…well…it’s not anymore but…..”

“I see. That’s a rather smart decision on your part.”

“Really?”

“It means you’re always well prepared for anything. That’s an important skill to have as a sorcerer.”

“Thanks, Nanami-sensei.”

“………………….so can I try on your gogg—”

“No”

[allyricas]

I love gay Eddie and bisexual awakening Steve. It's solid and popular for a reason. It works, makes a lot of sense.

But...I also love flirty-cluelessly-queer Eddie and comfortable-with-his sexuality Steve.

Eddie does flirt. With everyone. It was pretty clear he was flirting with Chrissy. He was flirting with Steve. Calling him big boy and getting up in his personal space, being all cutesy.

So, imagine Eddie just casually flirting with Steve and it doesn't mean anything to him. He's just being Eddie. He isn't even aware that it's flirting. He really considers it teasing. The man is dramatic and silly. He loves to make a scene. So "teasing" people is fun for him.

Eddie who is a super senior running a DnD club for outcasts, loves Lord of the Rings, plays in a metal band. I think Eddie is always into some sort of hyperfixation to be trying to bang chicks or dudes.

There was totally a phase were he was obsessed with folk and old country music (Woody Guthrie much). There was the Jane Austen phase (It fits, c'mon). The time he tried to learn to crochet. His lasting phase with fantasy novels. His intense love of metal music. He knows a lot about music in general. Obscure shit. Oh, those handcuffs-definitely from his magic phase. Tell me, 12 year old Eddie didn't want to be a magician. He probably did card tricks, the whole deal.

Eddie would be the kind of guy who'd spout all sorts of random knowledge. He probably has one specific time period in history he could rant about for hours.

The man has raging ADHD (takes one to know one). He's a self-professed nerd and outcast. The only thing that might be considered "cool" is that he plays in his band. But even then, he's a total nerd about it.

Eddie is hot as hell. That is undeniable. But Eddie has been too damn busy being a fucking nerd to date or hook up. I think he's so focused on his interests, it could easily not have been on his radar. Same way he's failed senior year twice in a row despite being smart as hell. The shit they are trying to teach doesn't interest him and that makes Eddie fucking struggle.

He's bouncy and hyperactive. He probably has terrible tunnel vision when he gets into a book or movie or campaign. Dating has thus far not been interesting enough especially combined with how he's treated by the people in Hawkins.

So, yeah- he flirts and teases. He thinks it's harmless fun. With Chrissy, it was a way to make her feel safe and lighten the mood. With Steve, it's a way to disarm him. It's King Steve afterall. Why not play up the metalhead freak persona. Let him think he's weird.

It isn't until Steve starts flirting back and gives Eddie butterflies that Eddie realizes this is not heterosexual behavior. And he knows a lot about that because he was accidentally flagging for a whole goddamn year. Because he wanted to look metal as fuck and thought the bandana was badass.

Steve calls Eddie princess. Calls him pretty boy. Throws in a babe. Everytime Eddie refers to him as big boy or Stevie, Steve just smirks and comes up with a new pet name that wrecks Eddie (who has no idea what is fucking going on). Throw in the boys getting high together with no inhibitions and Steve actively trying to romance him and Eddie's in a full blown sexuality crisis.

best part: Steve thinks Eddie is gay because of the bandana that he wore all year. Add in all the flirting and then Steve's really putting the moves on totally clueless Eddie. And say what you want about Steve, but he has game. I can just imagine Eddie trying to frantically figure out why all of the sudden he wants to make out with Steve "the hair" Harrington and Steve's like...aren't you gay?

(if anyone knows of steddie fics anything like this, please rec them!)

[trancylovecraft]

Can I have the Yandere alphabet for Matthew Patel?

(SCOTT PILGRIM) YANDERE! MATTHEW PATEL x READER: ALPHABET

RECEIPT ✂- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

BARISTA'S NOTE: my guy looks like amon from aoex so of course i love this bastard >:)

FANDOM: Scott Pilgrim

Thank you for ordering!

Come again soon!

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

DEFINETLY SHOWY. This man definetly likes showing you off and to do that he gives a lot of physical affection. When you go out he has to be touching you somewhere.

Hand-holding, Arm around your waist, Anywhere else. He just wants to prove that you are his. Apart from that, Acts of service is also pretty big as he enjoys proving his love to you.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Matthew isn't really big on gore, He just wants to get the job done when defeating his opponents! If it happens to be bloody, Then so be it. But if it's just one and done then that's completely fine with him too!

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Matthew would want your affection immediatley. I don't think he would mock you, Just be confounded as to why you aren't returning his love. Otherwise he would try to make you feel as comfortable as possible, Providing whatever you want within reason.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Affection, Physical touch. He won't listen if you say you don't want him to touch you as he see's it as his right since he considers you his prize.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Quite a lot, He believes you and him are "destined by the stars" to be together so why should he hide anything from you? Perhaps at the start he'd try to keep a tough guy persona, But Matthew would fold pretty quickly and give into his vulnerability.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Pretty confused and maybe a little hurt. You're his partner now! Why are you trying to fight him, You're soulmates so it hurts to know that his one and only is trying to harm him.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

A game? Maybe, A game in the sense that he's in it to win you similar to how he tried to win Ramona. But once he has you in his hold then it's instantly game over, He won, So you trying to escape would not be welcome in the slightest.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Probably the kidnapping. Matthew isn't a particularly violent yandere towards you so him kidnapping you would definetly be the worst of it all.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Matthew imagines you and him living together, Married. You'd be accepting of his rather obsessive tendencies and maybe you'd have a kid or two thrown in there, If not kids, Then you'll be getting a few dogs.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

We're talking about the man who joined a league of evil exes to get back his girlfriend from middle school (Which was about a week long by the way) so of course he's going to be jealous! It's his main feature!

Jealousy is literally this man's entire thing. Gets pissed at any woman or man who even dares to interact with you. He's cray cray!

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

He softens up, Definetly. While he's definetly more angry/eccentric around other people, That just muddles down into eccentric. He's much more nicer, Almost acting like a body-guard of sorts

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He would be annoying flamboyant about it.

Like my man would be outside of your apartment with flowers, A stuffed animal, Chocolates, An entire band to play wedding music and you won't even know who he is.

Love letters under your door everyday, Love letters at work to tell you how pretty you looked getting your coffee. Love letters telling you to meet up with him and confused notes that ask why you didn't come.

It's creepy, To say the least.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

No, Not really. It's more of he's just softer around you and doesn't have a particular urge to prove his strength, He's more affectionate too though I suppose with all the physical touch.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Matthew probably wouldn't punish his darling, He wouldn't have the heart to! The worst he would ever do is isolate you in a room for a few hours, Though it was meant to be days, He just couldn't resist being near you again.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

At the start, None of them because he assumes that you love him and you can have a relationship as normal.

However at any sign of possible escape or defiance then this man will take away all of them in a paranoid frenzy. Locked in a room, No internet etc-etc

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Matthew is VERY patient. Though if you continue with the "I don't love you" schtick for a good few months then I can see him loosing his cool and starting to yell at you for a good long while. Other than that, I see nothing else.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

If you die then Matthew would be devastated and wrecked with guilt, It's possible he might even try to join you in a "'Till death do us part" fashion to try and get to you in the afterlife.

If you leave/escape then Matthew will never stop searching. You are his one and only, Even when he's old and grey he will continue forever and ever if it means he gets to see you again.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No, Matthew would not usually feel guilty. Though there are times late at night where he does feel kind of guilty for kidnapping you, Though he quickly rationalises it by saying that it was suppose to happen, That you were suppose to be together!

So no, He would most likely not let you go.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Him being the weird lonely kid. You being nice to him would instantly bring out his desire for love and attention, He attaches onto you because no one else really did before.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He's really hurt by it, You should be loving him! Why are you crying? Do you not love him? Matthew just wants you to be comfortable with him and love him just like he does with you.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Nothing really other than the fact that he doesn't care for taking down opponents.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

His blind love for you, Deffos. Take advantage of it at the start, Get in your car, Drive to mexico and change your name and you will be free from the horror that is Matthew Patel.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Never, Not in a million years. Matthew would rather die before harming you, He's basically your body guard and views himself as your protector so him harming you would be failing that.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Matthew worships everything you touch, Taking them as keepsakes. You are basically a divine angel compared to him, So you are very much worthy of the love and praise he's willing to give you.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

A few years, Maybe even a decade of you not accepting his advances. Matthew is very patient but when he snaps.. It is BAD.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

No, It's not likely. If he did, Matthew would try anything to get you back to your old self.

[dykedvonte]

i ADORE how you describe benny! why do you think he slept with the courier AND left without killing them the morning after? i know the game designers had to have that happen but with almost every other option (unless you're able to convince him you'll stay away) ending with him attempting to kill you, i don't see why he wouldn't at what could be a perfect opportunity.

Benny is not at messy and petty as people portray him.

His “cowardly” or stupid actions are really pragmatic when you actually take the time to think about them from his point of view instead of “Omg he’s so goofy what a loser this is obviously a discussion a loser makes.” Before I get to sleeping with Benny I think explaining his other weird moves helps.

The first is by far him waiting for you to wake up before shooting you in the head. It’s an odd thing to do as it holds him up, gives you a glimpse of your attackers and doesn’t match the less than noble things he does like abandoning the Khans and how he took care of the singer in the all roads comic. But it makes sense. Benny has a rather strong sense of personal morals, skewed and contradictory as they are.

If it is a detriment to him and the Chairmen he becomes cold and calculated, he will leave you for dead or make sure you can’t get to him or them. It’s why he tries to kill you at first, per your contract you will hunt him down and that is very bad for a man trying to be discreet. But you seeing his face? Him apologizing about you being in the middle? He expected you to die, to never be found and in a way he puts your loose end to rest. He buries you in one of the few places that is specifically for a dead body. Benny doesn’t want unnecessary collateral and what he deems necessary/unnecessary really just depends of how he accesses you as a risk. It’s the same reason he leaves Emily Ortal alive. It’s very unlikely a Follower is gonna stop a plan for an independent strip even if they’ve been cheated.

It’s why he leaves the Khans. He already dislikes them but the Khans are still raiders/tribals like him and the other casino families. A rose by any other name and all that. Even if they made it and he paid they have such incriminating evidence against him that he’d never be able to stand up to them if they decided to hang it over his head. Yeah he’s making more unnecessary enemies but in his mind it’s that or having another very real threat over his plans.

Benny makes these assessments very quickly. It’s not that you’re some silver tongued charmer when you get him alone but that he genuinely thinks it’s better at this point to keep you alive and get you on his side than kill you. Of course, this is if you can convince him of that and not have him set a trap for you. When you sleep with him he basically thinks you’re fucked in the head, outside of the two bullets he put in there, and more curious and vengeful. It’s quick fun and he dips after because whether you mean to help him or not he’s now on crunch time as it’s impossible House won’t notice his Courier showing up sans one platinum chip.

Most of Benny’s actions towards other people is dictated by if he sees them as a liability. It’s very odd to think deeply about because it clashes with the cool cat persona Benny puts on but it’s very in line with his raider/tribal roots he keeps trying to erase. He gets vulnerable and drops the acts and gets with the Courier because there was no perceived threat, it’s like how Caesar invites you to the Fort even if you like are vilified thinking you’d just like listen.

It’s less the sensible thing to do and more the comfort of your playing field and not feeling threatened in the moment.

[mrsnancywheeler]

the lakes (7) // finnick odair x f. reader

summary: it's supposed to be over, you and Finnick are supposed to spend the rest of your lives helping each other heal. living as peacefully as possible, but the the third quarter quell throws a wrench in your domestic bliss.

previous / next

midnight rain

2.7k words

warnings: angst, fluff, manipulation of someone's feelings, self-doubt, reader being sure she'll die, mental illness, allusions to violence/death, banter, this ones kind of short and sweet before the interviews and games start, terms of endearment, no use of Y/N, UNEDITED, reader likes peaches

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

“They've been evaluating every moment in training, but this is the big moment. Show them much you've improved, how far you've come. Since you've decided not to ally with the Careers and haven't been falling under the radar, you both need to prove how much of a threat you are as a group." This was life-saving information for your Games persona, but Finnick's honey voice filled your senses.

“As an individual threat they'd want to target you sooner, but as a group you're more of a challenge.” Ondine took a drink of the shimmery blue liquid in her glass, it looked so unnatural and the sour yet sweet smell filled your nostrils from far away.

"So let's hope your District 7 friends get the memo.” Finnick’s snide remark infuriated Conway who was always being irked by his advice.

“They will, they're impressive." He said it so shortly the tension between them would be obvious to anyone.

“Hopefully the gamemakers agree." Finnick was ever smiling, taking a bite of a peach. He grabbed another one and as if he forgot himself tried offering it to you.

“No I'm okay, thanks." You shook your head and your eyes bore what you up was a very stern, what the hell to him. Maybe it would seem normal to most people, but everything seemed too risky.

“Suit yourself." Finnick tilted his head and offered it to Conway as well. He seemed unbothered, but you could tell he got the message. You looked at the fruit, your favorite. Hopefully it seemed like Finnick was just being kind to the both of you and Conway didn't recall that peaches happened to be your choice of fruit. It did make your heart flutter a little though, knowing that Finnick did.

Conway shook his head curtly. You began tapping your foot anxiously, everything was too awkward. Taking a sip of water to try and quench the dryness in your throat.

“You really both should eat, in a couple of days there could be nothing." Ondine advised, and Finnick’s hand was suddenly offering the peach back to you. His smile was so knowing and you took a second before accepting it.

“Thank you." You muttered before taking a bite, it was delicious and eating something made your anxieties less prevalent. The way Conway was looking at you made you feel like you had to defend this decision, “Their right, we need to preserve our strength and it's breakfast, the most important meal of the day." You tried to keep your tone light, airy, and carefree to cover for the internal gnawing at being found out. Messing with your hair as you averted your eyes from his to take another bite.

"Right.” Conway said gruffly and moved his head in disbelief before he started taking bites of the eggs on his plate. Suddenly you were scared, he was upset, you hadn't taken his side even if it was simply being defiant about allies and eating something else. Regardless of your tactics you still had free will and you hated being malleable to whatever he thought just so he would think you loved him, but when you didn't would that be another tick that would make him kill you quicker in the arena.

No, you were talented, well liked. He couldn't kill you without your allies turning against him too if he did it too early on. At least that's what you were trying to tell yourself as you foot kept tapping, robotically taking bites of the fruit. Glancing up for a moment, your eyes met Finnick’s, he was mouthing something at you. Probably you are okay but your mind was too preoccupied to grasp in the moment to analyze. He tilted his head downwards and tapped his fingers on the table. Shit, you thought as you instantly stopped your foot from its continual tapping. That would be an easy tell, for Conway to know you were upset now, which was a threat, and in the arena.

Conway had been looking between you too and seen the whole interaction, at least that's what you assumed when he began talking. “Hey, are you okay?" His voice oozed with genuine care that angered you further, how could he say that, but also put you in this position? No, you put yourself in this position.

“Just nervous about today, you know, making an impression." You tried to cover for yourself. His hand grabbed yours, it was just as cold as yours.

"Don't be, you're going to do great.” Conway tried to assure you, brown eyes trying to be comforting, but they weren't when your own were on pins and needles trying to sell a version of yourself that wasn't true.

You forced your muscles to relax at his touch, "Thank you.”

"We should be on our way.” Finnick abruptly interrupted the moment, chair squeaking on the floor. Ondine nodded in agreement as she stood and Conway reluctantly let go of your hand as you both followed. Leaving the peach on the table as you walked out behind Conway.

Soon enough you were both sitting in the cold, metallic room waiting for your names to be called. Thankfully you weren't from a lower numbered district so the anxious waiting didn't have to last for long. Mostly though, Conway’s hand was sitting on you knew and you were painfully aware of it, trying not to act bothered. It was uncomfortable, but you had to put yourself at ease, even putting your hand on top of his. Then your name echoed through the room, it almost brought some sick kind of relief knowing you wouldn't have to keep faking the chemistry for a few moments.

His hand squeezed your leg before he released it and you stood up, “You've got this." He encouraged you, smiling so sweetly a rational girl would be swimming in joy for it.

“You too." You smiled back before walking out of the room. Into the predatory eyes of the gamemakers. They hadn't been there long enough to be bored yet, so their attention was still laser-focused when you entered.

Charm, you still needed the charm. You hoped your aura was radiating the confidence you were pretending to have as you smiled up at the group observing you. “The floor is yours to show any talent of your choice." A voice rang out. You nodded, eyes searching for where the knives and targets would be.

Breathing heavily as you approached them, willing your body to do what it always has not to freeze up or slip. Thankfully it listened as you picked up one of the knives, lightly tossing it in the air before catching it. Reassuring you that your instincts knew exactly what they were doing as you began throwing them into the targets. Brain focused on extreme precision, this could make or break you, force you to rely on an outgoing persona rather than being a double threat. Before you knew it each knife was gone from where they previously lay.

“Thank you." Another voice pierced through the air as you turned to face the raised area where they all sat, drinking their various beverages.

“Thank you." You emphasized before making your exit, hoping a few words and your talents with knife throwing was enough. Doubting that it was as you exited to the hall where Finnick and Ondine would be waiting.

“How'd you do?" Finnick’s voice led you straight towards their direction.

You shrugged,"I don't know if it was enough.”

"So you did great.” He clicked his tongue at your self-doubt before stepping closer. “I'm sorry about earlier, I wasn't thinking." He whispered, you didn't care anymore not when his presence made the butterflies in your stomach explode.

“It's fine, I'm not sure he's buying it anyways." You leaned up against the wall, exhausted from the constant mind games and how on edge you were.

“He is." Finnick tried to assure you, “He'll probably allude to it during the interviews, which we'll start preparing for, and the sponsors will eat it up.”

"Okay, I trust you.” You whispered and you could have sworn you saw his heart breaking, no matter how hard you played of course your death was most likely inevitable.

Then Conway was done and you were all headed back to your floor, to impatiently await results. Laying on the couch, his arm draped around you. Oh how you longed for it to be Finnick's instead, who was sitting nearby, arms lazily resting on the top of it.

You held your breath as your face appeared on the screen, Conway hand tried to soothingly rub your shoulder. “With a score of 10." You exhaled gratefully.

“Told you!" Conway said excitedly, he was like a puppy dog. You couldn't help but move your eyes to Finnick who looked so proud of you it made you want to crawl into his arms right then. “From District 4, Conway Angler with a score of 10.”

"Good job!” You cheered on, hugging him. Before he had pulled you in for a kiss, your heart screamed to pull away, but your brain refused to until he did. His face was ecstatic when he finally removed his lips from yours, which were cold. It was jarring for two pairs of cold lips to try and mesh together. Soon enough it was announced that both of your district 7 allies had scored just as well, Birch with an 11 and Marlowe a 10.

“Good." Ondine sighed in relief, “Takes away the individual targets that could be on your backs."

By then you forced yourself to be snuggled into Conway's side, which would have been relaxing if you couldn't feel Finnick's eyes burning into you. A heat you craved. Thankfully the time to head to bed had soon approached.

“You both need rest, we'll prepare for your interview plans tomorrow, separately." Finnick announced, you noticed the look Ondine shot at him as if he'd gone over he head.

“Why separately?" Conway inquired as he got up from the comfy couch cushions.

“Even if you're marketed as a team, you need individual strategies." Finnick crossed his arms, “Just looking out for you both."

“Sure." Conway said, voice full of distrust. “I'll walk you to your room?" He offered as you stood up. Voice hopeful, a ploy to be let in. It would be so helpful, but you didn't want to be on edge when it was time to rest, to be worried you would mumble Finnick's name in your sleep.

“I'm alright, thank you." His eyes fell even if he didn't try to seem off put by this refusal. “I'm exhausted, not going to be much talking out of me.”

"Well that's alright, I don't mind.” Conway tried to reason, still hopeful for something, anything.

"Just get some sleep.” Ondine advised and you silently thanked her as Conway gave a small eye roll.

"Yeah, whatever, goodnight.” His smile was small and quick. So you grabbed his arm to give him a small peck on the cheek.

"Goodnight.” You looked at him slyly, smiling and could see the light in his eyes returning as he beamed. He stalked off to his room and you took small steps until he was around the corner and you were whipping around, seeing Ondine was gone too.

“Are you really exhausted?" Finnick asked, standing.

“Just emotionally."

“Do you need anything?" He asked, stepping forward. His eyes were desperate to help even if you could sense a twinge of jealousy in them that you felt guilty for.

“To be with you." Your smile was finally real, natural and it felt refreshing.

“Oh, come here, sweet girl."

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

"I'm sure she'll come around, Finnick, once she realizes you're genuinely kind on top of that insufferable ego.” You were sitting in between his legs as you laid on the couch, head on his stomach. Head rising with every breath he took, the sound of his heartbeat helping you relax. He was so effortlessly comforting.

Finnick scoffed, “I'm so good to you and saying stuff like that is how you repay me." He tutted as his fingers messed with strands of your hair.

“No one said married life was easy.” You sighed. Subconsciously your fingers danced on his leg, you could lay like this forever.

“Well I know that, I'm married to you, angel." He chuckled and you swatted his leg.

“Rude!" Tilting your head so he would be sure to see the glare you were sending his way and the pout adorning your face.

“No one said married life was easy." He repeated, smirking down at you with a mischievous glint in his eye. “Don't worry, I love how difficult you can be when you're not being a perfect, caring angel."

You crossed your arms, huffing playfully, "I'm not difficult.”

He nodded, "And I'm not Finnick Odair.”

“You're the difficult one." You insisted with a shake of your head.

“Oh I am?" He smiled, fingertips brushing the side of your face.

“Mh-hmm."

“Well how so, my love, I wouldn't want to be difficult for you.”

"Number one, you're an ass, two,you're full of yourself, three, your bossy, and four, you keep telling your poor wife how difficult she is and it's only been a few days.” You removed yourself from where you slotted between his legs to face him and lay on his chest instead. Laying your chin down so you could look right back in his sea-green eyes.

"Good thing that my poor wife has been difficult long before we married, so it didn't hit me recently and I was well prepared.” You sighed dramatically at his insistence, laying your head down sideways to stare at the couch cushion.

“I'm not difficult." You reiterated, the warmth of his chest was like a blanket and it tired you even if you had to stay awake longer.

“Whatever you say, angel." The television in front of you started blaring, assaulting your ears as you turned your head towards it. Ceaser Flickerman appeared to announce the tribute scores that you couldn't care less about, you knew these people and the sponsors already knew you. Before you knew it it was your name once again, hitting you with intense deja vu of when you'd last been on the couch, in another boy’s arms, waiting for the same words. At least this boy, your Finnick, you could trust, there was no constant turning in your stomach about being found out.

“With a score of 10." Even more deja vu, Finnick's fingers traced up your spine.

“That's my girl." He whispered and if you could you would've sunk deeper into his chest, let yourself be consumed by him until you were one.

“District 4, Finnick Odair, with a score of 11."

"That's my husband!” You cheered quietly, wanting to just rest right here.

When Peeta and Katniss’ 12’s were announced Finnick shook his head,"They're trying to put targets on their backs.” He muttered bitterly as the broadcast ended. “We have to make sure they're with us, less likely to be attacked as a group early on in the games.” Thinking about the rapidly approaching date where you'd be back in the arena, protecting Katniss, trying to end it all, and waiting to die made your heart stop. It was cruel that you couldn't just be one with Finnick forever, that you'd probably die in the arena.

He felt the change in the rhythm of your heart, “It's gonna be okay, angel, we're gonna stick together and get out of this. Trust me."

“I do trust you." You whispered. It was yourself who you didn't trust. “I just wish I didn't have to savor every moment of peace with you before we’re back."

“You don't have to savor it, we're going to get out of there together." Finnick's honey voice was so reassuring even if your brain said not to listen. Someone had to die and you'd rather it be you, it didn't seem possible to live in a world without Finnick. But you nodded anyways, he didn't need to know about your internal monologue and then dedicate his time trying to convince you that wouldn't happen. You knew in your soul there was no way you were getting out of these games with him, no matter how badly you wanted to.

            𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

taglist: @imaegonstargaryenswife0 @avoxrising @artsyaquarium @jennaaaaaaaaaaaa @secretsicanthideanymore @darlingsoulbeautfulthoughts @thatonegayloser616 @kybermp3 @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @ravensinthedaylight @innercreationflower @uhnanix @aesthetic0cherryblossom @yourdailymemedelivery

thank you for reading! this one's kind of calm before I start tearing into those interviews and the games begin because I needed some softness. thank you all sm for the support you've showed me, it's really helped encourage me to keep writing! if you enjoyed feedback is always appreciated, likes, comments, reblogs and my inbox is always open for questions or thoughts which I love because I think about this all the time. love you all 💋

[sugar-crash]

🍬King Candy (Wreck-It Ralph) x (gn) Reader👑

(Game Hopping Loser Reader Edition!)

(Picture’s not mine!)

(Request’s here! Alright so, this my first ever request to have such detail! I love it honestly, gives me a far clearer idea of what to do and not feel like I’m pulling stuff out of my ass.)

- No offense but I think when you get found out at first he considers you a fucking pest and a copycat, a drowned rat that ended up on his turf.

- Some MAJOR negotiation skills are needed to convince him to keep you there, and even then he throws you into the fungeon and makes Sour Bill swear to keep your presence on the low, which horrifies the poor sour drop into compliance like he usually does.

- I think he’d visit you specifically to taunt you at first, smugly dangling freedom like a carrot over your head like you’re a prized race pig, giving you that idea that he is not the benevolent king he portrays himself as till you eventually realize he isn’t what he says he is.

- He’s far too overzealous for his own good on top of that and I think in some way or another he lets it slip that he doesn’t even belong to Sugar Rush and has too much information about the arcade in its early-early days and it sparks a deal between you two that you won’t squeal in exchange for several things, like freedom, a disguise, etc…

- He keeps everything on the down low when he does it, making you help him every step of the way because Sour Bill could become a liability if he sees too much, simply telling his little assistant he finally decided to let you go.

- He really fucking hates you at first, something about you aggravates him to no end but he has to refrain from being too expressive with his hatred over you so his joyous and sweet persona is maintained.

- You act too much like him, it’s what he both loathes but slowly comes to love about you, as low as he thinks of you I think a part of him is finally relieved to have someone who acts and thinks like him to rationalize his actions.

- He gets a sense of superiority from how “better” he was at bending the reality of Sugar Rush to his command over you, you have to settle for being less than, even with your dirt on him he still has control.

- That power dynamic doesn’t exactly melt away when you guys begin having romantic feelings for one another, those soft moments between you two having that underlying edge to them that you two never seem to shake away.

- There’s a kind of shaky trust between you two, which is supported by what you know about one another, that agreement keeping you both tied to one another to the point where you two start dating.

- Much like everything else it’s a secret you both have for a long while, fleeting touches and private displays of affection that are well hidden and kept under lock and key before you two announce it in the most grandiose way possible.

- Secrets are great and all, with you two having more than you can count, but they can be rather exhausting to maintain, so becoming an actual couple in the eyes of Sugar Rush seemed like the only way you guys could be able to be there for one another.

- You guys both trust and distrust one another in a way that can’t be duplicated anywhere else, there’s both discord and harmony in the way you guys are— But still greatly dysfunctional.

- I think he tries to make himself believe that what you two have is born from convenience, I mean, gets less suspicion on him if he shows himself to have a cutesy and picturesque relationship with someone just as friendly-looking, the same thing with you—

- But it’s pretty obvious it isn’t, as much as you both probably deny it, that selfishness you both share being your strength and folly.

- Does have the habit of getting easily frustrated with you when you slip into, that “Stick to the program” mantra that was hard-coded into gaining another meaning as you two try to do hard to keep your places in Sugar Rush.

- Evil enabler couple that make each other WORSE!!

- You two perpetuate that god-awful behavior and make it even worse, helping one another with your shared charades, keeping those candy citizens and children racers oblivious about your true natures, like having a false alibi for one another when something goes awry.

- And going awry it does, literally, in the worst way possible, like doomsday kind of awry.

- Secrets can be kept for only so long after all, and you two are package deal for that downfall.

(Fvb'yl ivao h spaasl zabwpk il fvb nbfz nva aol zwpypa.)

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 9)

Star's the Papyrus (both are idealistic & seen as naive) of this game (Martlet is another possible parallel), even though he's got similarities with Undyne too. No matter how broken Ceroba seemed he asked himself WHY she did what she did and I think that's SUPER important.

Ceroba didn't do this. Her first instinct was to be harsh (after being harsh with him even BEFORE he attacked Clover):

called his personality "damaged" before this scene

... you never asked yourself WHY he did the whole sheriff act.

.... you never asked WHY he didn't want to grow up. If it was a coping mechanism, if he wanted to help his community in a way he couldn't as a farmer? It was never on her mind.

Yes he has baggage but he's dealing with it all while uplifting others, Ceroba has baggage but is well taken care of by Star and at least has him, he has no one but himself and his optimism to pull him out of negative feelings, and still gets insulted.

Yeah Ceroba's been through stuff but apparently it's been some time since Chujin passed and Kanako fell down, she should have at least started to support Star emotionally like he's been supporting her (sure, he did so with distractions, but as he said "aren't distractions what's best for all of that?" He did his best). Problem is she DIDN'T realise he was ever struggling with self worth and only assumed he was goofing off. Either that or she did nothing about it aka was too occupied with her own problems (which are valid but still... she should have tried at least a little) Cer's character flaw is being too stubborn and devoted to Chujin. She trusted him blindly and wholeheartedly. Everything else came in 2nd place. This is clear as day.

It hurts knowing Ceroba could never respect Starlo the way she still does her husband. Not saying she shouldn't admire Chujin, but the way she sees Star as a goofy manchild whose lifelong passion can go "too far," the way she sees all this Wild East stuff as him "just having fun," the way she thinks that only someone whose brain isn't developed would ever consider dating him just... ticks me off, tbh. That's why I think the guy needs someone who will be gentle and patient with him, even if that other person is going through tough times.

She DID call Starlo the best sheriff she's ever known (honestly the only sweet moment between them in pacifist, but it is very brief, especially in neutral where he just gets cut off; also I hope she was being genuine here) and said how everyone adored him (but hated his persona, which I've already covered: basically they either hated 'North Star' as a whole, which I hope isn't true, or just how excited he was to meet Clover, which makes no sense to me; already covered it as well)

Bonus: Dina didn't know who Star really was or what he looked like, not before the end credits rolled (when he shows up as himself & she's also seen there; makes sense that he finally came clean to her):

So he's literally been playing this role 24/7, ever since she became the bartender; ever since this town started to exist. It's impressive how he could keep up an act AND use this fake accent for so long

Bonus #2: Star was SUPER worried about Clover's safety; that's what REALLY upset him (he cares about that child sm). THAT's what drove him off the edge (unless he naturally has a temper, i don't think this is it tho). Either way, he was way more patient w Ceroba than I think most would have been in that situation. Sure he snapped a few times, but there was a good reason to. He still TRIED to reason with her. Why did he attack? Worried for Martlet & Clover. I honestly think Star's the type to only get super angry if someone he loves is in danger (minus the stuff that happened which led him to cracking)

[askew-d]

Hello again....if you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from MDZS? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the novel? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

sure! its no trouble at all. sorry i am embarassingly late and thank you for the question, i loved making this list :)

1. wei wuxian, our selfless yiling laozu

alright, you can call me cliché, everyone loves him, right? but kendrick lamar said it’s all about love and hate in the game so let me tell you, i love this man. i love the way that he walks, the way that he kills, the way that he dresses, the way that he mocks others, the way that he protect those he loves, the way he’s unbearably and so utterly good to the core (no irony or pun intended), regardless of everything he’s been through. because let’s come clean: other characters, such as xue yang and meng yao, did have their reasons to be evil, i comprehend them! i validate their motives to be who they are, but it does not, for the love of god, excuses their actions.

and that’s the thing! because wei wuxian has been though hell and back, way worse than them, yet he chose to continue doing good things. it’s just who he is (unbelievable, right?). he is, essentialy, someone who pursues justice. he sought revenge for what he suffered, that he rightly did, but he didn’t lash out on innocent cultivators who had nothing to do with his injuries. and the amount of strength, resilience, kindness and sheer wisdom that resides in this makes my admiration for him grow as deep as the ocean. he’s the ultimate main character of every fictional world. no one’s doing tragedy, revenge, inteligence, selflessness, love and being a troublemaker like him, ok. he’s one for the history books. and with that we go to:

2. lan wangji, our beloved hanguang-jun

i said this before, but i will say it again: i feel like wei wuxian might kill me every time i go around saying ‘lan zhan’ or even start worshipping him too much. however, who wouldn’t worship him? he’s a god among humans; a superhero in a novel about cultivators. if wei wuxian’s considered by some an antihero, he’s the true, righteous captain america right here. and it’s not just the looks, he’s a whole package: a terrific father, a dedicated brother and nephew, an esteemed cultivator, a marvellous husband and a fair human being.

most of all, i dearly love him for the fact that he’s been loving wei wuxian since the beginning and never let that go. this man fought for his love like no one else did. he remembered wei wuxian when no one else did. he tried and tried, for him. he waited thirteen years, for him. in fact, if wei wuxian had never returned, he’d just have been waiting and waiting, living his life in grief, watching the moonlight alone…… but that’s a thought for another moment.

the amount of love this man carries is unbearable, really. it’s who he is too. and i also adore the fact that he has a lot of personas: he’s a serious senior for the disciples, a feral animal in bed, silly in some moments and painfully romantic in others. he’s just unreal!

3. lan jingyi, the most atypical lan that has ever lanned

if this boy was in the modern times, im sure i would make friends with him. hes everyones spirit inside this story. he is one of hell of a representation: he can judge, yell, put some sense into other peoples minds, act even more senseless and tell truths without caring for the consequences (and then crying when faced with the punishment of headstands). and the best part of all: he is, oddly, a lan! i love him! best boy ever (alright, perhaps after lan sizhui, but i relate to jingyi harder).

put him in a modern school. can you disagree with me that he would be the one student lurking in the far away desks acting all angelic when the teacher comes close only to act like a little devil, screaming, laughing loudly and hiding food in his backpack during activities? can you disagree with me that he would be the one to run and jump like a maniac when its time for p.e class and sleep out of boredom when the teacher starts explaining serious stuff? can you disagree with me he would pretend to enact the rules only to receive bad grades and pull the most stupid facades to hide it from his parents?

in some ways, he does have similarities with wei wuxian. but wei wuxian is a genius who wouldnt even go to class when he didnt want to, sleep instead of play-pretend and even so receive the best grades ever, annoying everyone. theres this difference. but lan jingyi isnt a genius, he is just one of us. and i love him for it.

4. wen qing, my beautiful doctor

wen qing, my beloved, you didnt deserve that backlash.... this woman deserved to have a happy family, alright. she deserved a little bit of happiness! she deserved to have her brother with her! she deserved to be well and to not have suffered so badly just because of her surname. if there is one thing i agree with (and i dont remember exactly who said it, but it was from twitter), is that the girls from mdzs are underrated, underappreciated and deserved tons more love. but anyway, let us mention wen qing!

this woman protected wei wuxian and jiang cheng, did a procedure to give jiang cheng a golden core, never killed anyone, ran from fighting in the war against innocent people because she does not share these wicked principles, and still ended up watching her family get tortured, his brother dead and was burned alive. the sheer cruelty of what they put her (and them) through is unbelievable. i wanted her to have a lovely family and to continue being a great friend to wei wuxian, seriously, they were such a great duo. i cannot get tired of aus in which they are rommates or something! she is usually sarcastic, fierce, bossy and so responsible. how could someone not like her?

5. a-qing, the girl who went to her limits and beyond

this girl went over the limits of heaven and hell, in fact. i love her determination and how clever she is! look at how long she managed to trick xue yang! who else who could that? i believe not even wei wuxian could have topped it. she deserved to continue living within that world with xiao xingchen. i also cannot avoid to point out that she was not a cultivator. she was a simple girl, left to struggle in the streets, who still achieved what she achieved. she lived with an esteemed rogue cultivator, manipulated one of the most essential antagonists, returned as a ghost to protect people from this specific antagonist, used a lot of her spiritual strenght to show wei wuxian the truth, continued to give wei wuxian and hanguang-jun directions to find xue yang, and received many support, compliments and faith from the main group of our story.

personally, i cannot think of another female character in the story who did more than her. wen qing did a lot, sure, but she came from a big sect. jiang yanli too. mianmian was a cultivator too. a-qing was not, and nonetheless, this girl rocks! unbelievable. if i went through what she did, i would have lost all will to persist long ago. that is another thing mdzs brought me: the perspective that, even when you are kind and did nothing wrong, you might still have tragedies happen to you. people will die anyway. including you. kindness is important, and sometimes it may save you, but sometimes it may also cause you harm. are you strong enough to have all the kindness and all that tragedy and still endure?

because a-qing, wei wuxian and so many of them did.

well, now onto my favorite parts from the novel! i will try and make this quicker. haha, lets go.

when wei wuxian and lan wangji were stuck (stuck? not actually, i believe, wei wuxian caused it) in that farm and our main character just simply laid on top of lan wangji. and he still dared... to call himself.... not a cut-sleeve. yeah, sure, bro, no homo and all that. and thats definitely not a boner beneath your clothes, huh.

when wei wuxian starts falling real hard and he wonders if he will ever be able to sleep in a bed without lan wangji again, and later on after they have sex, he f i n a l l y realizes that there is no wei wuxian without lan wangji. in a dramatic mood, even. like, seriously, dude?? what a way to pine, but ok. go get your man or something, we all waiting for it.

every extra. i just... love every bit from the extra.

in the scene where lan wangji is drunk and they start playing hide-and-seek. and lan wangji just hides himself behind smth. and shows only a bit of his face. he nods, pouts, begs with his face to continue. i died right there.

the confession. the confession. the tear. the confession. the shock from everyone else. the 'hug me tighter!' after. the confession. the hug. THE CONFESSION.

hahaha i admit it, for me everything is about them. is it not about them? you cannot tell me otherwise. i love wangxian with all my heart. also, your asks are all lovely, i love them, feel free to always send whatever you want :) hope you have a great day and week ahead of you.