#treating this reblog like a journal

[xsilversugar]

I understand why people reject Vax's death, I really do, but...I wouldn't want it to be any different at this point personally. Sure I would love a happy ending but to me that's at Keyleth's end when they could be reunited in death. I think making a parallel to Orym is apt in I hope Kiki will be able to find happiness in her life and that doesn't take away from what she had before at all. But I am also fine, personally, if she continues to languish in her pain and anger because it feels true-to-life to me too. It's valid. It may not be healthy, but it is certainly a small reflection of some grief I carry--and I know I am not the only one who values this part of CR because they explore these feelings. I love the pain of it all and I wouldn't want to have had anything gone differently now the more I see/hear folks say otherwise, if that makes sense.

Like, I genuinely admire Liam so much for sticking to his guns here. Vax is absolutely one of my favorite characters ever because it's helped me reshape how I view some aspects of my own journey through life. I can handle Vax dying because I relate to how he lived in a way. I envy his convictions. I respect the pain the cast feel about it all too, don't get me wrong, but it is so much more powerful and poignant to me this way.

Perhaps I would be more inclined to desire another outcome for real had my heart not been broken at such a young age by my first ever beloved blorbo fucking dying (not gonna spoil the story by naming the character/book here) but, like, there's a certain beauty to the tragedy of it all that...I feel is invaluable for certain stories.

In contrast, I am still not over Molly and I struggle to accept Kingsley, but I don't quite know how to put that one into words yet. I would kill to talk with Tal about it or ask a few questions one day... I desperately wish I was more intelligent and able to articulate why the situations are not the same to me but it's a fine point to me. I need to think on it more. I really should take a media analysis course or something because I could point to the feelings I have enthusiastically, I know what it is I feel on all of this, I just lack the fundamental skills needed to get it from my brain and into a discussion. It's frustrating how much I rely on others to have these kind of thoughts first for me. I want to join in on these kind of threads meaningfully but I feel unable to do so and it really hurts sometimes.

Just know that I am grateful y'all made this thread. You're touching on things I feel and believe in. It's just...so close to being something I can point to and say "this is a piece of my soul" but it's not quite there. I wish I had the words for what these CR bits mean to me. It's akin to the feeling of having a word on the tip of your tongue... I want to cry because it's almost being said and I feel like knowing whatever feels unspoken here would...heal something within me...? I dunno either way, I am forever grateful that Liam and Tal seem to "get it" whatever "it" is here. To me anyway. I know this probably doesn't make any sense to anyone and I am rambling into the void...but, I had to.

finally watched cooldown and two thoughts:

Smart of Matt to be like "no, we will have a satisfying denouement for other major figures involved" after the collective C2 ending freakouts; like, it feels like we are pretty obviously deep in the endgame but yeah I expect there will be check-ins after the last battle with Vox Machina, the Mighty Nein, and the Crown Keepers, plus probably the Calloways; obviously Liliana will be present. Might need two post BBEG combat episodes instead of the traditional one!

Other people have noted this but yeah it's actually...fucking weird how Liam is the only person who seems to in real life accept that Vax is permanently gone and you can't like, cheat this. And it's frustrating because he is no less dead than Zuala or Will or Molly or FCG. Like, sending the ravens and popping back in does mean it's harder for Keyleth to get over it, but like. idk maybe stop trying to go on random dates and just spend time with people who aren't technically under your (benevolent) rule or also people who never really accepted Vax's death (ie, the rest of Vox Machina). I mean I enjoyed the scene with Verin, and I think there's an intriguing case to be made there anyway (high expectations in childhood, leadership at a very young age, grew up without one of their parents) but just generally...she will never forget Vax, it will always be a scar, but she can move forward if she accepts his choice even if she disagrees with it. At this point...if she can't move on, that is because she won't. And a little bit because seven years later the cast won't.

[themainspoon]

When I was nearing the end of highschool, some of the older people around me started talking about how after you leave it's quite common for your old friends to simply drift out of your life. To be honnest I never really believed them, I thought such a thing was impossible in a world as connected as ours.

Now 4-5 years later I'm thinking about the only one of those friends I'm still in regular contact with, and who I haven't seen in person since last year. And I'm thinking about those who drifted too far before I even realised it was happening.

I think about the friend I went out for coffee with, we walked around the neighbourhood talking until my feet hurt. She told me she'd broken up with her ex, and that she had agreed to meet him the next day to iron some stuff out, I thought to message her to see how things had gone, but then things came up and kept comming up until it would have been inappropriate to ask.

I think about the friend I drove home from a week away we all took together to celebrate graduation, we talked the whole way back until my voice was hoarse. After he shut my car door I never saw him again.

I think about the one friend I'm still connected too, the last time I saw him was the night I learned that perhaps clubbing wasn't for me. It was too hot for the sleeping bag I brought with me and so we had to share his unmade bed in his tiny shoebox uni accommodation room. I was pressed up against the cool wall because I didn't want to take up too much space and make him uncomfortable. We slept for 4 hours before we woke up, we walked around the streets together, he recommended a place for breakfast that made good coffee. It was like no coffee I'd ever had before, it was earthy and strong without being bitter. I have not seen him since he gave me that recommendation.

My elders were right. No matter how connected the world gets, when you're no longer spending several hours a day with people you'll watch them drift away, because that's just what happens. You too will feel the past grasp your heart with it's talons.

I should really try to get to his recital.

[thethingything]

so CBT never worked for us in therapy. basically every instance of it was therapists trying to get us to stop being anxious about very real problems that were very likely to happen. like, situations that were not only likely, but would be very dangerous if they did happen. sometimes even things that had already happened and were likely to happen again.

meanwhile we have an app on our phone that guides you through various CBT exercises and it turns out when we use that for the kind of shit where we already know our brain is being irrational and we just want to get our thoughts together and work through the issue by writing it out, it works really fucking well and oh look suddenly we've been doing CBT for an hour and processed the root cause of several key emotional issues we've been having for years.

funny how that works. it's almost like we can actually figure out for ourselves when something is irrational and when it's an actual real problem that could put us in danger and shouldn't be dismissed. who'd have fucking thought it

[softavasilva]

sorry ive stopped the count (my queue) it should start running back up in a couple of days. im mourning deadass

[octoberwitchsblog]

Reading Dracula makes you particularly hate the fact that movies and adaptations have been so adamant on putting Mina with Dracula and treating Jonathan as a cold Englishman because that man ADORES Mina. We're only at the very first pages of the book and already, he talks about her all the time. "Get this recipe for Mina", "write about the trip to give all the details to Mina", like PLEASE. There's not one entry in his journal where he doesn't mention her or even dedicate his words to her when she'll find the notebook. This man is OBSESSED with his fiancé !!

(I'm editing this because someone mentioned it in the reblogs, but my introduction to Dracula was the french musical and Jonathan LOVES Mina in that one. It still pretty much adapts Coppola's version more than the book, but they gave a whole song to Jonathan as to how he feels completely helpless and betrayed when Mina cheats on him with Dracula. But he still stays at her side ! She's the one to kill Dracula but he's always around to support her ! He stands on business during the whole musical !!)

(also the musical makes dracula silent and he expresses himself through dance and through three other characters who are basically personnifications of his soul, his conscience and his emotions. that part is dope asf)

[mooishbeam]

『♡』 Losing Game

♡ featuring: ajax x f!reader

♡ summary: simmering feelings boil over as you're confronted by the man you hate the most; tartaglia, your boss. wc: 3.1k+

♡ cw/tw: afab, degradation, humiliation, creampie, squirting, light choking, sadism, throat-fucking, cum play, fingering, overstimulation, brat taming, mind break, pet names (doll, baby)

notes: hiii, the positive response from the last one motivated me to get this done just in time for Fontaine. kinda long this time so sorry abt that. ajax my beloved <3 art by sonomi_rap5 on twitter comments and reblogs are appreciated!

Working for the fatui wasn’t easy in the slightest, especially when you aren’t on harbinger status. You were sent on long, grueling tasks only to be met with loose interpretations of gratitude and sometimes silence from the higher-ups, in which most wouldn’t even glance in your direction. Pleasant beginnings became a sour afterthought, and your perception of the fatui changed drastically. Your grievances, however, weren’t helped by your quick-witted snappy attitude and competitiveness; Presumably why you ended up under the division of Tartaglia. You assumed a binding contract from the capricious redhead wouldn’t mean much, but that was quickly proven false.  

You'd rather climb every mountain in Snezhnaya than spend a minute talking to that airhead. He was instructed to keep a watchful eye on you during missions despite the competence you demonstrated. It was insulting. Anything he did you could do better. It’d been proven multiple times from the petty challenges you created. How much water you could drink, how long you can stay up. You won every time. How could you not hate him? His feigned ignorance and careless flirtations were enough to drive you mad. “Please, call me Ajax” he’d say, winking. The simpering smile he gave you after every comeback shot daggers in your pride. What made you particularly furious was the incessant drum of your heart whenever he was near you. The warm autumn morning that was his hair. The cool still waves his eyes sent to your core. You couldn’t fall for him, or else he’d have one up on you. You had to be stronger than that. You quelled your stress in a tattered journal gifted years ago. 

“Hey, comrade!” His bubbly tone makes knots in your stomach, and you choose to stay silent. You’re hoping this mission will go without a hitch, as long as he doesn’t get in your way. Ajax lets out a teasing whistle. 

“Yeesh, tough crowd.” As you’re collecting the items needed for the deal, he rocks back and forth on his heels directly in front of you, absent-mindedly watching. 

You whip your head to face him, “You can’t see I’m doing something right now?” 

“Oh, I see what you’re doing. But this isn’t entertaining.” 

“Unlike you, your majesty, I have no choice but to be perfect. I apologize if that’s not exciting enough for you.” You retort with sarcastic curtsy.  

“Haha! You’re always a pleasure to be around, (Y/N). My faithful, kind-hearted companion.” he said with a taunting wink. You're beyond flustered, haphazardly stuffing the remains in your bag and lugging it over your shoulder. 

“Let's go.” You say lazily. He follows closely, arms crossed behind his head. “Calling me like a dog, how romantic.” 

“If you don’t want to be called like a dog stop acting like one.” 

“You could at least give me a treat if I'm gonna be your dog.” He looks at you, making his best impression of puppy-eyes. You bite back a few choice words, and glare at him instead. He isn’t fazed by this and flashes a beguiling smile that makes your ears warm. Glancing at the weight you’re shouldering, he comments, “You sure you don’t need any help with that?” 

“No. The last person I need help from is you.” 

You and Ajax regroup in an alleyway deep in Fontaine’s bustling city. You are assigned to retrieve a rare gem for one of Pantalone’s elaborate schemes, and you quickly prepare yourself for this interaction. Ajax studies you, leaning against one of the walls. 

“Can’t you be a little nicer to your superior? If it wasn’t for me, you’d be in a lot of trouble half the time. You’re welcome.” You scoff. “I don’t know why you’re here in the first place, I have no problem doing this on my own.” 

“I’m sure. Don’t mind me, Ms. Independent.” A sly smirk crawled up his face. “Fucking asshole” you mumble under your breath. “I didn’t catch that. Can you repeat it?” 

“I said you’re a fucking asshole.” After a few moments of silence, Ajax grips his chest in feigned agony. “Ouch. I’m gutted!” 

Just as you're about to leave, he snatches your wrist, now only mere inches away from your face. His hand gently brushes away the strays of hair on your forehead. “There you go, doll. Gotta be perfect for your debut.” A whirlwind of emotions strangles your ability to think clearly, you pull your wrist away and start speed walking, attempting to gather yourself before you get to the jewelry store. 

You enter the empty store and are immediately confronted by the jeweler. 

“Good afternoon, ma’am. Do you have an appointment?” You proclaim your business and appointment under a fake identity, posturing yourself as wealthy. “May I see identification please.” Of course, you say. As you’re looking through your purse you notice something: there’s no identification here. Surely you weren’t that negligent over something so simple. You rummaged through the other compartments, trying to stay calm in front of an increasingly concerned jeweler. But it’s not there. How is this possible. Your nerves are heightened and the anxiety of failing the mission starts to creep in. “I made an appointment with Lottie; she’ll be able to provide reference. I believe I left my passport at home.” The jeweler seems slightly disappointed. “Unfortunately, ma’am, I am not allowed to present any gems without identification.” Your heart beats faster. “Well, sir, I’m very busy and I’m afraid this is my only chance to close on this item. You wouldn’t want to push away a well-paying customer.” 

“I have no choice in the matter. If you have no proof of identification, I must ask you to leave.” Should I take it by force? You thought, thinking about the next possible option. As you’re about to handle the rest physically, the door swings open. Ajax comes up to you, placing his arm around your waist.  

“My love, were you able to get the gem we were discussing?” You’re annoyed, but you improvise and look at him as if he’s the love of your life. “Not yet, dear.” Suddenly, he places a plush kiss on your lips. You’re stunned and speechless, filled with anger and wanting. 

The jeweler interjects. “And are you the husband? Would you happen to have any identification.” 

“Yes, sir.” Ajax pulls out a passport and fake birth certificate unbeknownst to you and begins to close the deal. The rest of the meeting you sit speechless. 

“Thank you for your patronage.” are the last words you hear as you leave the store, Ajax guiding you with his hand. You’re silent the whole way back to your room. 

You turn your bag upside down and begin looking for the mismatched documents. All while Ajax stares at you expectingly. You ignore his presence.  

“So... how about a ‘you’re welcome?’” 

“For what.” 

He lets out a mocking laugh. “For what? I don’t know, maybe saving your ass back there? You froze, and you were unprepared, Ms. Independent.”  

“I wouldn’t have forgotten it if it wasn’t for the obnoxious bullshit you did this morning.” 

“That’s dishonest, I wasn’t even talking!” he pretends to be hurt. “Admit that you need me.” 

“Fuck off.” 

“No.” His light-hearted inflection vexes you and makes it hard for you to focus as you read through the mountains of pages in your folder. 

While your head is down, Ajax comes across the tattered notebook just peeking out from under the bed. Storing the months—no years—of feelings you had regarding the fatui. Regarding him. Some time passes and you finally raise your head, met with the horrifying reveal of him skimming through the journal, mischief coating the deep void in his eyes. You spring up and reach for the book but he’s faster, grabbing your arms and pinning them above your head. 

“This is really good stuff... really good.” You shout profanities over and over, anything to get his attention away from the book. But he continues to read as if you’re not there. When he’s done reading, he lets you go, and you instantly try to swing at him. Before you can land a hit, he grabs you by the throat and stares into your soul, almost as if he’s trying to swallow your being. 

“You’ve been acting like a little fucking brat all over a crush? Not very big girl of you.” 

“I know you think you’re beyond charming, but I promise you don’t have that effect on me.” 

“Really? Let’s play a game then.” He knew you’d accept just to beat him at anything. 

“If you don’t cum by the end of this journal, I’ll apologize for everything. I’ll do whatever you want. But if I win-” he steps closer to you, “You have to do everything I say.” 

You almost burst out laughing. Such an easy challenge, how hard could it be? 

You're panting, trying your hardest to focus on the words that seemed to melt off the page. Your back lays comfortably against his chest, with his legs keeping yours spread. 

“Next page, baby.” 

“Don’t call me that.” Your words are lenient and breathy. Your underwear is still on, but Ajax’s fingers are covered in your slick, playing with the erect nub just enough to make you fuzzy. “You look like you’re tapping out.” 

“This? This is nothing” You respond meekly, continuing the reading.  

“I can’t help but have fe-elings for himph.”  

“There’s some nice things about me in here, why aren’t you always like this?” He says, circling and dipping into your gushy folds, smearing the glossy mess all over your vulva. You try so hard to read the letters, squirming from his touch. The sensation pulsing from your clit to your brain made you incoherent; the more you move, the more he moves. The contents of the journal are humiliating, detailing your romantic and sexual attraction towards Ajax, and your attempts to stifle these feelings. He was getting a kick out of seeing your flustered face stammer over his appearance. He plays with the precum glazing his fingers, widening them to watch the trail it left. Only two more pages left. 

“I-I-” You couldn’t get through the first sentence on the last page. Your thighs are trembling, and your pussy began to twitch. “Uh, s-shit. Ajax, wai-.” He trails his fingers over your clit spelling his name, then pushes two inside, fighting back an amused grin. “You’re almost done” Teasing in your ear. You bite back the moans threatening to escape; at the very least you couldn’t give him that satisfaction. He watches you fall apart, shaking more aggressively before your body gives in and you cum on his fingers.  

“Uh oh, that’s unfortunate.” You try your best to catch your breath, but he rides out your orgasm, making you subconsciously grind yourself into his palm. Then you’re struck with the reality of losing. He licks his fingers clean, eyes rolling back from the taste. “So fucking good, does being a bitch make you taste better?” You were too embarrassed from the loss to retort. “You won.” 

“I did.” He lifts you off the bed and onto the floor, your legs still recovering. He hikes your shirt up, trailing kisses up your stomach until he gets to your nipples. He flicks and sucks one while kneading the other one, occasionally biting the slightly bruising flesh. “Not gonna moan for me, huh baby?” 

“Not in the slightest.” You rasped. He smiles and blows cool air on your tits, sending a rippling feeling down your back. “That’s okay, you’ll give in.” 

Ajax unbuttons his pants, and they drop in front of you. Unsheathing his thick throbbing length, drooling with desire. His balls are full and heavy, and as you look up at him his eyes are clouded with lust. The pretty freckles that dotted his arms and chest are much more visible now, and so are his battle scars. He breathed in deep, "take care of this for me, yeah?” You wanted to say no and say fuck this; but there was another side that wanted him desperately, that needed this.  

You force your jaw open to accommodate his size and push yourself halfway on his girth, feeling his cockhead hit the back of your throat. Once you feel like you got it in, you slobber all over his cock, dampening his balls and begin to bob your head. You stroke with one hand and massage his sack with the other, leading to a breathy whimper from him. “Ah fuck, feels good. Suck it slow, slut.” You begin to move faster while cupping his balls, obscene noises leaving your sopping mouth. You have tears running down your sweating face trying to keep up with the vigorous movement of your tongue. You feel him throb a few times, his moans and grunting getting progressively louder.  

“Need more” is all he says, putting one of his legs on the bed and grabbing both sides of your head. Before you can register what’s happening. Ajax pushes your head onto his cock until your nose reaches his pubes. He lets out a breathy sigh and starts throat fucking you with an animalistic grip. The gagging and spit noises echo off the walls, along with his continuous whimpering. You wanted to hate him, but your blood was buzzing, and your panties were drenched. “Shut up and take it” followed by broken fuck’s and yes’s. He threw his head back, hair slicked and torso gleaming with sweat, “look at me.” You reluctantly look up, addicted to his passionate expression. “I want you looking at me when I cum.” You grip his thighs, and he twitches a few times before spurting white, thick cum down your throat. He pulls out slightly to drag his semen over your lips and then taps it on your face, holding you in place.  

“What are you doing? Clean me up.” he husked. You clean him up without complaint and lick your lips, forced to maintain eye contact with him the entire way.  

In one swoop, Ajax picks you up and throws you on the bed, eager to get your underwear off. “You proved your point, stop being an ass" you slurred out. The room was intoxicating, all you could smell and feel was him. He takes your panties off, spreading your pussy to watch the slippery puddle dribble down your thighs. He shoves your panties in your mouth, “Fucking liar, I know you like it. Can’t taste how wet you are?” He aligns himself with your aching hole, keeping your arch steady with you bent over. Shoving his cock in, moaning from the feeling of your body perfectly molding for him. Ajax starts moving at a rapid pace quickly, his big slender hands tightly gripping your ass. The sound of wet sticky skin slapping together and the squelching from your core made you shudder. It was all too much; you have been teetering on an orgasm since you went down on him, and the way his balls thump your clit make you quiver.  

“Whiny brat. Just needed to be fucked good to shut up, yeah?” he groaned through his words. Tears were coming down your eyes now, you can’t tell if he’s edging you by accident or on purpose. But right now, you’d do anything. He turns your head to face him, gazing at your tear-stricken face. “Aww, you cryin’ for me?” He stops to kiss and lick your tears, delighted by your tenderness. Taking the panties out your mouth, he brings your body flush with his and continues to pump inside with you looking at him.  

“So sweet all of a sudden, where’d that attitude go?” The morals you had for moaning went missing and mewls and soft whimpers began to leave you. “Let it out, baby.” You’re suddenly babbling please’s begging for him to let you have it. “Pathetic, can’t even get off on your own. You need me that bad?” You nod repeatedly, dangerously close to your release. He had a dark look in his eyes and a sinful smirk. “Yeah? Okay, you’ve been so good.” He reaches down and starts to rub your clit ceaselessly, kissing your cheek. Your whimpers become loud shaky moans and he finally lets you have it, shockwaves going through your body as you’re dissolved into pleasure. You pulsate through the explosion, jello-brain and boneless as your cum leaks down his thighs. Just as he pulls out and flips you over. You’re dizzy and drunk off him, legs shaking indefinitely from the intensity. Then he puts it back in. “You can take one more, yeah baby?” Your overstimulated and violent shaking wasn’t enough for him to stop. He wanted you ruined. He keeps going, grabbing your face to kiss you deeply, tongues intertwining with each other. He feeds you deep strokes, tip prodding your spot every time and watching as your tits bounce. You throw your head back, eyes rolling to the back of your skull. You have no thoughts, only his name rings in your head. You can feel the coil inside you winding up, pleasure beyond the searing pain of your swollen pussy. He looks down at you and smiles.  

“Look at me." You can’t hear anything at this point, not even the sound of your own voice. So, it’s a pleasant surprise when your voice carries his name, “Ajax, Ajax”, chanting as if he’s your god. “Fuck. Gonna cum. Let it out. baby” he says grinning. You’re clamping him so tight and throbbing until you ultimately shatter with him, releasing a stream of squirt onto him and the sheets. He bucks into you, letting out thick spurts, panting heavily as he watches you in disarray. You instinctively hold on to his arms, trembling uncontrollably as you try to search for breath and ride it out. You’re completely hysterical and sobbing from the emotion it ripped into you. You were in shambles and Ajax couldn’t help but smile out of happiness for what he caused. “I’m so sorry.” you say repeatedly, eyes shut and lined with tears. He got closer to wrap you in his arms, and you cling to him for stability. “It’s okay, I’m here for you.” 

You didn’t want to talk about it when you woke up. You were hoping he’d be gone, and therefore wouldn’t have to deal with the humiliation. But there he was, watching you sleep just as the sun rose. His ginger hair danced with golden flecks of light, and he looked at you like you were the only person on Teyvat. 

“Creep.” 

  “Good morning to you too, baby~.” 

[deathdetermineslife]

f/ovember ask game ~

♥️ - what's your absolute most favorite thing about s/i, if you had to narrow it down to one thing.

🐍 - if you two could own any pet, which pet would you own? is there any mythological pets or pets that are illegal to own where you live that you would like?

🕷️ - are either of you afraid of insects? who kills the spiders when one of you is scared? otherwise, who lets them out of the house?

⭐ - do either of you believe in zodiac signs? do you think your and s/is are compatible?

🌹 - what flower do you associate with s/i? if they were a field of flowers, what flowers would they be?

🌲 - do you have a favorite place to go with s/i? why Is it your favorite?

🐦‍⬛ - if you and s/i were birds, what kind of birds do you think you would be?

🌙 - do you like the nighttime? would you consider yourself a night owl? how about s/i?

🍒 - do you bake? do you and s/i bake together? do you have a go-to treat to make?

🐸 - ignoring s/is favorite animal, whats an animal that you associate with them?

🐈‍⬛ - do you prefer cats or dogs? is there any reason why?

⚜️ - have you and s/i ever traveled together before? is there anywhere you would like to take s/i?

🎀 - do you have a favorite outfit that s/i wears? what does it look like? do you ever help them pick out outfits?

🥬 - what's a meal, snack, or drink you introduced to s/i that they like? whats one that they introduced to you?

🖤 - has s/i ever told you a specific style of clothing that would look nice on you? what kind?

🐤 - would you and s/i ever live on a farm? what animals would you have? if you already do, what animals do you have currently?

🎈 - how do you like to celebrate s/i's birthday?

🌱 - do you like gardening? if so, what do you plant? and if you don't garden, whats something you would like to plant?

♣️ - do you ever play card games with s/i? do you have a favorite?

🐠 - do you like the ocean? do you have a favorite sea creature?

🖍️ - do you have a fun/silly pastime you like to engage in with s/i? what is it?

🍵 - do you ever make s/i tea or coffee? what kind? if you don't make them tea or coffee, is there something else you make for them? like hot chocolate?

✒️ - do you write s/i letters? or does s/i write you letters? both?

💛 - if you didnt know s/i, what would you guess their favorite color is?

💄 - what does a morning with you and s/i look like? do you have a routine, anything you two do together to get ready?

☘️ - do you have any superstitions? and quirks you do to follow those superstitions? (i.e, ringing bells before you leave the house to ask the spirits to watch over your home, knocking on wood to bring good luck, not opening umbrellas indoors, things like that.)

🎧 - is there any music that s/i listens to that youve started to like?

🌼 - do you give s/i flowers? how often do you give them flowers? what kind?

🍎 - is s/i picky? are you picky? if you go out to eat with s/i, is there any food you or they put on the others plate that you wont eat? (giving someone the pickles off of their burger, croutons off of their salad)

📗 - do you journal? what do you journal about? does s/i journal? have they ever let you read what they write?

🕸️ - do you like horror movies? does s/i like them? do you watch them together?

☀️ - how do you feel about the summertime?

feel free to use however you would like!!! please practice reblog karma and send an ask to someone if you reblog!!! I'm sure they would love some asks! feel free to send me some, as well, if you so choose.

[grimoirguestbook]

Book of Bill Website Codes

(Organized by category with notes)

Here's my list of inputs that work on the website :)

Hopefully the read more works like I think it does and I don't accidentally spoil anybody

That being said by clicking read more you will see All of the codes I have found so far

Please be mindful and try not to spoil anybody else with this information. So please be careful if reblogging

I got everything I have collected/found on here, it's a bit messy right now but After I take a small break I'll reorganize and add notes but for now everything's on here, please so check out the posts linked in the log as once I lost all leads I looked to their post for other inputs :)

Also feel free to put any you know of that Aren't on here in the replies I'm sure there's some missing

I will be updating as I find more so check back in if you can! :)

Thank you!

They'll be categorized by

Neat Tv text- Nothing special the tv just gets some text to it

Tab pages-brings you to another tab/website

Audio/video- Audio/video clip plays

Readables- A picture will pop up on screen that you can read

Printables- You can print them :D!

Other- Hard to categorize

Note:

If an * is next to a name that means that you can get different results for the same prompt

(Any personal notes will be in parenthesis)

-> An arrow means that the Passwords are found in the previous page

ex- Page with code that translates to "dork"-> Dork

Slashes/mean/that/any/of/the/prompts/listed/will/take/you/to/the/same/page

Blue text with an underline is a link! Haha! would you look at that! it works!

Will Keep this updated as I find more and will Note the logs at the end of this post

?????

For the mason page anagrams I know WHO they are I just don't know WHAT to do with them, i know it says cryptogram codex at the bottom i think i have to do something with the anagram results but I'm unsure what that is. Stanford Pines Stanlie Pines Gideon Charles Gleeful Preston Northwest Pacifica Elisa Northwest

Notes to Dipper Prompt: (Unsure why- Maybe going to Blind eye page and blurring it but changes from dipper being told to stare at the sun to "I THINK ITS WORKING! STARE HARDER! HARDER!" and the page looking burnt I Think it has to do with how many input codes you enter, It now says "you've almost solved it" and is even more burnt than before, it is now full black)

Neat Tv text-

Pines

Blendin

*Triangle

Axolotl

Ducktective

Book of Bill

TJ Eckleburg (Great Gatsby)

Nothing

Something

*Ciphertology

Deer Teeth

Scalene

Scrimbles

No

Fortnite/skibidi/ohio/rizz/crypto/elon/gyatt/Doge

Life

Death

Portal

Question

Answer

Euclid

*Well Well Well Being

Reality

The Universe

Journal 1

Journal 2

Journal 3

Theyll see/They'll all see/I see

Filbrick

Disney/Disneyland/Mickey Mouse

CIA/FBI/NSA

333 Sundapple Lane Cozy Creek IL 60714-94611

Season 3

Season 2

Season 1

Caryn

Euclydia

Skeleton

Who are you

Burnside

Family matters

When will I die

Multilevel mark/caesaratbashvigenere

Scientology

Easter egg

Sevral times

oh yes they both

Am i Blanchin

Bye gold

Youre insane

History

Hologram

Scalene

Euclid

Titans Blood -> Owl Trowel

Text Chain (You get questions who's answer is another password)

Riddle->Yes -> Mountain Dont -> Lyre Liar -> Harolds Ramblings -> Union Made -> 29121239168518 -> Grebley Hemberdreck -> Rat -> 3466554 -> Tinsel Snake -> Torture Mentally -> Xgqrthx -> 333 sundapple lane cozy creek IL 60714-94611-> MutliLevel mark->emmaline butternubbins->Dispense my treat

What i thought it was (with answer sources):

Riddle->Yes -> Mountain Dont -> Lyre Liar -> Harolds Ramblings -> Union Made -> 29121239168518 -> Grebley Hemberdreck -> Rat -> 3466554 -> Tinsel Snake -> Torture Mentally -> Xgqrthx -> Titans Blood -> Owl Trowel

Answers found in TBOB- Don't Know, NA, Mcguckets dream page, Medieval page, Anti-Cipher Section- tonic page, Anti Cipher Section- Newspaper, Top Secret page, Textbook page- Skin, Dark Ages Page, Anti Cipher Section-Epilogue, A winter break- footprints page, Book of Bill Cover options page, Never trust a wizard page, Have you dreamed this fellow ad (references informercial in show)

Tab pages-

Abuelita

Dippy Fresh

Alex Hirsch/Alex/Hirsch

*Stan/Stanley (his outfit in ebay searches plus a READABLE with SICK music mind you-Check readable section for more info)

Grunkle Stan

*Gideon (second option unlocked after fully "mableizing" the room)

Waddles

Mcgucket/ Old man McGucket/Fiddleford

Bill/Cipher/LLIB/LLIBREHPIC

Bill Cipher/Rehpic

Zyler (Goes to same place as Craz)

Craz (Goes to same place as Zyler)

Toby Determined

Gravity Falls

Mystery Shack

Not a phase

Blanchin

Peak

Cray Cray

Fixinit1

Meow

Fuck alex/Fuck you alex

Globnar

Monster

Audio/video-

Babba/Discogirl

*Gideon (unlocked after fully "mabelizing" the room)

Tad Strange

Pinata (DEFINATELY WORTH WATCHING)

Vallis Cineris (Found on wall when lightning strikes)

Hey Nerd

Weird (Love him)

Spookemups/Spooky/Scary

That's just a/Theory/Gametheory/Matpat (<3)

One Eyed King-> Naitsuaf (Morse Code) ( early years page)

Forget the past

Im still on your mind

Dorito/Nacho

Just fit in

Rubberhose

Love/Boyfriend

Hectoring

Conspiracy

God/Frillium/Help me

Burned inside

Kook

Kubrick

Small/audio log/music (nothing showed up at first, turned off tv and strange audio played, needs to be reversed)

L is real 2401 (soos my boy)

Readables-

Mason (Dippers real name)

*Dipper (personal notes in ???- keep opening the card to get different results)

Pacifica-> PlatinumPaz

Ford/Standford/Sixer

Wendy

Robbie (def worth a look IMO)

Soos-> Pinata

Cursed (Translated from candle in background)

Ad Astra Per Aspera

Blind Eye->Theyll see (Will blur if clicked on, cannot un-blur, may change dipper?)

Weirdmageddon

Lies

Sorry

Booberry (Decoded from popsicle stick)

Even his lies are lies (Front paper)

Tantrum ( code on Bills Mugshot page)

Suck it Merlin

Shave your Grandma (leads to dippy fresh page)

Baby Bill/baby/lalalalala/daddy/mommy

Owl Trowel

Hotxolotl->Seven eyes-> r34lity

Love ya bro

Fuck/Shit/Fuckyou/bitch/slut/sex

Baaaa-> Black Sheep

naitsuaf (click are you ready-> Sign "pleasure doing business with you -candle light turns blue- OR be a coward (losing sound effect plays)

oroborous-> Frillium

Glass sand beach

math/trigonometry/

horror/creepypasta

destruction is a form of creation

unreality

you can't kill an idea

virus

Occurremusiterum

*Stan (click multiple times to get-once there click "how he beat me several times)

Card

Theraprism

Dionarap->stod eht tcennoc

Printables-

Tyrone/Clone/Paperjam

Curse Wittebane (translates runes on page about witches)

Paper is just book skin ( BE WARNED: automatically downloads a photoshop file and crashses the cite)

Irregular (has code on it)

Divorce/breakup

Other-

Mabel (You get fun stickers and a popping sound :) )

*Giffany ( You put her name in multiple times and it forcibly downloads pictures of her and a text document to your computer, scared me a little Not gonna lie here)

Kings of New Jersey (downloads "secret code" font)

cryptogram codex (downloads cryptogram fonts)

dispense my treat-> Kook (downloads a bunch of cool wallpapers)

Log:

One hour after posting: Added 17 new words

Found by me: Booberry, Mountain Dont, Xgqrthx, titans blood, lyre liar, haralds ramblings, union made

Accidentally found by looking at a post: Sorry

Gifted by replier (Thank you!): MATPAT, yes, no, Fortnite, life, death, portal, question, answer

30 minutes after last update: 9 Words added

Found by me: Theraprism, 29121239168518, Grebley Hemberdreck, Rat, 3466554, Tinsel Snake, Torture Mentally, Fordtramarine, Gun (shocked that worked It was a joke- "bill cipher has A GUN")

Like THREEEEEEE ish hours later?

Found by me: one eyed king, well well well being, shave your grandma, paper is just book skin, even his lies are lies, forget the past, irregular, euclid, tantrum, suck it merlin

Like 12 hours later

Found by me: Reality, Baby Bill, Reality, The universe, Giffany (why is it two Fs, Blarg) They'll see, I'm still on your mind, Journal 1, Journal 2, Journal 3

Gifted to me by a replier (Thank you!): Owl Trowel

Idk- Later

Found by me: hotxolotl, lova ya bro, kings of new jersey, fuck, just fit in

Found on twitter(JasonRitter): Dorito, Blanchin'

Gifted to me by Replier(Thank you!): Gideon's option knowledge

Even MORE later:

Me: Seven eyes, r34ality, filbrick, disney, skibidy, rizz, ohio, love, cia, fbi, rubberhose, 333 sundapple lane cozy creek il 60714-94611, bahhhh, black sheep, naitsuaf, oroborous,theyll see, theyll all see Frillium, occuremusiterum (some of these i gave myself because i was really close but just missed a small detail/spelling)

Taken from here and Here Because I got stumped: Season 3, Season2 , Season 1, Glass shard beach, caryn, Euclydia, Peak, Theory, Cray Cray, Help me, mickey mouse, hectoring, divorce, breakup, skeleton, math, history, monster, gyatt, who are you, fixinit1, conspiracy, riddle, cryptogram codex, horror, creepypasta, trigonometry, god, boyfriend,baby, lalalalala, scary, trigonometry,just blendin, morality, burnside, family matters, when will i die, elon, multilevel mark, goodnight sally,paper jam, tourist trap,the duchess approves,shape, scientology, meow, nacho, crypto,sevral times,easter egg, oh yes they both, daddy, mommy, burned inside, destruction is a form of creation, i see, unreality, you can't kill an idea, am i blanchin, fuck alex, fuck you alex, fuck you, shit, bye gold, nsa, globnar,disneyland,kook, kuibrick,virus,that's just a, you're insane

Next day

Found online: Dionarap, stod eht tcennoc, dispense my treat

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Follow You Anywhere 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, controlling behavoiour, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You're online existence threatens to leak into your real life.

Characters: Captain Syverson

Note: I couldn't help myself.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

"So... this is what it looks like today?" You aim your camera at the sky outside your window, "sorry, the screen is kinda in the way."

You let out a nervous chuckle and flip the camera to yourself. You make a silly face. You were never overly fond of your image on the screen but the vlogs help. Like a little diary, mostly for yourself. You and your seven followers on Insta.

You bat your lashes and fix the clip in your hair, "oh, I got this free. Yeah, I bought a new hair oil and they threw this in the bag." You let your thoughts run wild from your tongue. You found a journal too daunting, the blank lines leaving you just as empty. This is easier. "Anyway, I shouldn't have spent the money to begin with."

You give another splintered laugh. The one you let out when you're anxious, or scared, or happy, or even mad.  You bite your lip and catch yourself in your digitized reflection. You stop and turn your camera to your bedroom.

"Today, I'm gonna clean this mess. Me and you guys together."

You scour the room with the lens. Your laundry is piled on the floor and you have a stack of books you need to put on the shelf. It isn't the worst it's been but it's getting cluttered.

"But first, we'll have breakfast, can't start the stream on an empty stomach," you chirp and nearly drop the phone, "oops, uh..." You fix your grip and check the number in the corner. You have one viewer; on a good day, it's three, most days, it's just you talking to the void.

You go into the kitchen, just down the short hall from your bedroom, opening into your living room. You go to the counter and prop up the phone so the camera is on you again. You tap your fingers and hum.

"What should we have for breakfast?" You ask. You don't feel as crazy talking to yourself even if there's really no one watching. "Oo, French toast. Gotta use up the eggs."

You go to the fridge and pull out the eggs and the milk. You bring them back to the counter, shuffling around for a bowl, a whisk, and the cinnamon.

You mix up your ingredients and dip the bread, one piece at a time. You put on a skillet and fry up the slices, presenting a stack of three to the camera. You smile and dust some icing sugar over the top.

“Probably shouldn't have all this sugar for breakfast,” you shrug at the camera, “alright, quick break…” 

You put the stream onto the ‘back soon’ page and take your plate to the small foldout table against the wall. You're not a fan of eating on camera. You finish and rinse up before snatching your phone up again.

You return to your bedroom and put the phone on a middle shelf and flip the stream back to live. Still that one viewer…

“Anyway, I'm back,” you wave at the lens.

You hesitate, looking around as you stand straight and spin. Cleaning, right. Before you can set to work, the phone dings.

A message?

You go back to your phone and squint at the chat bubble floating up.

‘Looked delicious too.’

“It was,” you agree with a grin, “thanks.”

‘Don't mean the toast.’

The next message has you blinking. Your nape burns. They can't mean… you clear your throat and giggle.

“Well, let's get started,” you back up and clap your hands, “you know, I've been so carried away with work. This place is a pigsty.”

You sit on the floor and sort through the clothes. You toss them into the basket as you sit in silence. You stop yourself and glance at the phone.

“How about some tunes?” 

You walk on your knees to your bedside and turn on your bluetooth speaker. You go to your phone and find a playlist before pulling the stream back to full screen. As you do, you hear a noise you've never heard before.

‘BourbonBear has tipped.’ Huh? Really?

“Oh, thanks, er, BourbonBear,” you giggle around the name, “how nice. Maybe one day I can afford a proper camera for this, huh?”

You smile and go back to the dirty clothes. You quickly ball up a pair of panties and shove them in the basket. You carry on until they're all untangled.

You move on and tidy your desk, bending underneath to gather up a few loose pens. You make your way around the bedroom, putting away books, fixing the blankets on the bed, and straightening the little figurines on the shelf above the bed.

You grab the stick vacuum and suck up the dirt and proclaim your task done. It took a lot longer than you thought. It's after eleven. The one viewer is still there.

“Whew, okay, I'm gonna get myself washed up and go to the park. Maybe I'll post that later,” you give a thumbs up next to your head as you talk to the phone, “thank you.”

You end the stream and let out a sigh. Your videos aren't much and you doubt they're very interesting but it's like venting for you. Almost like having an invisible friend. You think you will take some pictures of the flowers to share.

🧸

You take your usual path through the park. The walks help you unwind your worries. You try to come after work at least a couple days during the week and both days on the weekend. You find the mindlessness of the routine to be calming.

The deeper you get into the wooded length of the path, you slow to admire the birds in the branches and the critters crawling in the brush. You take out your phone and snap a few photos of a blue jay before it wings away shyly. You smile and flip the cam, smiling as you take a goofy selfie. You can add that to your post.

The path winds ahead and you follow it in the din, listening to the river just down the incline to your left and the tweeting from the sky. You lift your face and inhale the woodsy scent. The sudden crack of a twig startles you and you spin to face the noise. There's no one there. Sometimes you forget other people are free to just walk on through.

You chuckle at yourself and continue on. The path leads out to a suburban street where you like to look at the houses. They're much more spacious and pretty than your grimy brick apartment building.

You come out from the shade of the trees and wander along the avenue. There's a mailbox painted to look like the house it stands before and a little nook for second hand children's books to be borrowed through the neighbourhood. Sometimes you picture yourself living in one of those houses though you don't think it could ever truly be.

As you crane your head, you sense a shadow in your peripheral. You're walking a bit slow. You sidle to the side to get out of the way of the other pedestrian. When no one passes, you look back. No one.

You must be imagining things. You shrug and plod along. You're already thinking of what kind of tea you'll have when you get in.

🧸

You sit down with your mug of ginger citrus tea and set to editing your post. You add a light filter to the photos as you shuffle through them on your laptop. The process is slow as the computer is nearly five years old now and chuffing on its 4GB drive. You get to the selfie you snapped, a stop.

You lean in to get a better glimpse of the background. It's fuzzy but there's a figure just over your shoulder. How could that be? You looked and there was no one there. That's so strange.

You stare as a chill courses through you. You're thankful you hadn't put your earphones in. You wouldn't have heard whoever it was and they may have even snuck up on you. Or maybe it's just a trick of the light.

You hit ‘post’ and try to shake off the foreboding. It's nothing. You're being silly. Besides, you're home and safe now. Next time, you'll be more alert.

A message pops up. You stare at the dot over the chat bubble. You tap with your thumb and bring up the DMs.

'Stream tonight?' BourbonBear asks.

You tilt your head. You already did some today. You're tired and want to lie down and enjoy your time off. You type back 'sorry, not tonight. tomorrow <3' and another notification vibrates. A comment on your latest post.

'Pretty sweater', also from BourbonBear. You heart their comment and leave a thanks below.

You flip back to the selfie. You can't really see your sweater in the picture, just the scalloped knitting of the collar. Well, you suppose it does look cute. You put your phone down and leave it on your desk. That's enough Insta for today.

🧸

You time your shopping trip for the least busy hour. It's early and the store is almost empty except for employees stacking bread on shelves or wandering listlessly around the deli. You have your phone in the basket of the cart, aimed at you as you roll it along slowly and check your list.

The stream is just as empty. It's only just started but you don't expect too many people to be up at this hour. You stop and grab a loaf of sourdough, checking the date before showing it to the lens and putting it in the cart. You smile and announce the next item.

"Strawberries... you know I was thinking I might get raspberries instead," you say, catching the eye of one of the yawning employees. You must seem like a weirdo. It's why you typically don't film in public.

As you roll around to the fruit, you notice the count change. One viewer. You choose a basket of raspberries and show those. You see a message float up; morning.

You smile and return the greeting softly and place the berries down carefully beside your phone. You need yogurt to go with the berries.

You work down the list, making some substitutes as you tick off each item. You linger in the ice cream section a bit too long and talk yourself out of a gallon of rocky road. You lean on the handle of the cart and smile down at the lens.

"Going to check out," you say, "see you all later."

All? There's still just the one. You end the stream and take your phone out of the basket.

You wheel around to checkout and line up at the only open till. You put your items up as you greet the cashier with a smile. She seems tired as she gives a dull response.

As you put the yogurt on the belt, you sense someone join the queue behind you. You glance over as a large man stands only feet away. He's tall and burly and staring at you. Maybe he heard you talking to your audience, or he would think, yourself. You continue to unload your groceries.

"Never tried those," he comments as you take out a box of strawberry Pocky.

You pause and hold them up, chuckling nervously, as you do.

"Pretty good," you answer, "I eat way too many."

You notice the man doesn't have a basket or a cart. That realisation needles under your skin. Maybe he's just getting lotto or smokes?

"You like sweet stuff."

"Too much," you squeak even though it doesn't sound like a question.

He just stares, not saying a word. You swallow tightly and pull the last few items out of the cart and get behind it to wheel it through the lane. As you do, he looms closely, adding to the sweat gathering on your lower back.

You roll along and wait for the cashier to ring through the rest of your things. She bags them up neatly in two large paper bags. You pay with your card and thank her as you lift the first into your cart. The man behind you moves forward and grabs the second, startling you.

"Got it," he says as he places it with the other, squeezing by you, crowding you.

"Oh, excuse me, sir," you stammer, "oh," you lean on the cart to roll it to the end of the lane as you make space between you and the stranger. "Thanks, er, uh... thanks."

You turn and grab the handle, jittering. He's really weirding you out. Especially as you realise he's walked right by the cashier. He's following you.

"I can help get ‘em in your car," he offers in a drawl.

"Oh, that's alright, I... bus," you cringe as you realise you've said too much.

"I could drive you. I have a truck."

"No thank you," you walk faster, the cart rattling with your pace.

"Why not?"

"I don't know you, erm, sorry--"

"You don't?" He catches up and shoves his phone in your face, your Insta profile glaring back at you, "I paid for the milk, maybe the berries..."

"What?" You stop, just by the door and turn to him. "I don't--"

"You haven't eaten, have you? I'll take you for French toast. That's your favourite."

"Um," you blink at him as your eyes tinge, "I don't..."

"You got me through a hard campaign, just wanna say thank you," he adjusts his cap and you notice the pin on it. He's a veteran. Oh, 'campaign'. 

“Just got back home," he shifts on his feet, a meek gesture for such a large man, "and... your videos helped me remember it. Helped me hold onto it in the sh-- in the stuff."

"I... wow, okay, that's... I'm glad I could do that."

"I really don't mind giving you a ride. Lots of weirdos on the bus," he insists.

"That's nice but--"

"Please," he softens his tone, "been a while since I sat down and had breakfast without worrying about the sky falling."

You shudder and grip the cart tight. You don't know how to say no. You didn't think about who was watching. You always just assumed they were bots. Then you think of the chaching noise and the amount flashing on the screen.

"BourbonBear?" You ask.

"Yeah," he cracks a crooked smile and smooths his hand over his thick beard. "Everyone calls me Syv.”

[hesperisms]

// The Alphabet of Zayne

"If you can't grasp it with one hand, try using both hands..."

// summary: my attempt at the lewd Alphabet A-to-Z of Zayne.

// content warnings: 18+ (mdni), the whole thing is lewd, says so on the tin.

// a/n: goes without saying, but these are just my personal headcanons around Zayne. yours may be different and that's A-OK. Sylus Alphabet coming up next.

likes, reblogs, comments are always appreciated!

A // Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): Being a doctor, Zayne has you up and out of bed into the bathroom right away, giving you a cheeky pat on the backside if you protest as he hustles you out of bed, telling you that you need to go pee (he does not want to be the cause of a UTI and will feel terribly guilty if he has to support you through one). If your legs are too shaky he will carry you bride-style into the bathroom himself and will happily join you in the shower cleaning up after your sessions because it gives him more opportunities to worship your body.

B // Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner): Zayne likes his hands, mostly because you've convinced him that they're fantastic. He's always had skilled, dexterous and lithe hands and they've enabled a very successful career, but they became his favorite body part the day you gushed over how hot they looked when your couples glint photobooth photos came back. It amused him that you couldn't explain what you loved so much about them, but now rather than hide his scars, he will find ways to roll up his sleeves around you and give you a subtle show after work because he knows it turns you on. Conversely, his favorite body part of yours is also your hands; how they fit so small in his, the way you brush your fingers over his bottom lip when you cup his cheek, the way your fingers feel snaked through his hair in the throes of passion, how delicately they wrap around his cock...

C // Cum (anything to do with cum, basically): When Zayne cums, it's a lot; multiple bursts, thick and milky white, never watery. Even his precum is kind of thick and milky and there's a lot of it, he's an oozer. He's never been the type of man to masturbate before he met you and even now, he needs to feel desperately needy to, so he's pent up a lot and unleashes it on you every time you're together. Given his high sugar content in his diet and his predilection for sweet treats, his cum always tastes vaguely sweet, one of the reasons why you let him continue to eat as many sweets as he does.

D // Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): If you give him the opportunity, prior to you taking a work trip, Zayne will sometimes steal your panties. You don't even question it when he starts to buy you lingerie sets and panties. There's no need to call him out on it, he's not greedy; he'll only ever take one pair at a time and you always find them washed and returned to your panty drawer by the time you return home. It started by sheer accident; he slipped your soaking wet panties off under your dress when you two were fooling around in public one night and he didn't want you to lose them so he pocketted them and you both forgot about it. The next day you'd gone away for work for a few days and when he found them in his pocket doing his laundry, full of the scent of you it had driven him into a rare masturbation session.

E // Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?): Zayne was a virgin before you. He'd never especially been interested in women, his studies had always come first and then his career, so relationships took a back seat and then before he knew it, you were back in his life, taking your rightful place with him. When things started to get more serious with you, he started to do some research privately so that he wouldn't disappoint you in bed, nothing lewd like watching porn but journals on erogenous zones, g-spot identification and stimulation, clitoral sensitivity and squirting. He wanted to be prepared for anything you might throw at him, because while you were his first, he's reasonably confident he's not your first, but he's never wanted to ask and have it be confirmed.

F // Favorite position (this goes without saying): Girl on top. He loves having you in his lap, straddling him, your perky tits bouncing right in front of his mouth, he gets to look into your eyes while you ride him, he can't get enough of it. This position feels like a cheat code to him, it lets him hide some of his inexperience because it lets the natural curve of his cock apply pressure to your g-spot and he can circle his thumbpad on your clit to provide you with extra stimulation. He's very intense in his need for you, so if you're not careful you'll find your chest and neck covered in love bites after a session in this position.

G // Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): Zayne has a very dry, cheeky sense of humor, so jokes made in the heat of the moment sometimes get misunderstood and taken seriously. That said, he leans to the more serious side when he's being intimate with you, but during foreplay he will make jokes, tickle you, laugh with you.

H // Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.): Zayne is meticulous in his personal grooming, he knows body hair can trap in body odor, so he maintains himself impeccably. His chest and his armpits are naturally bare, but he shaves his treasure trail completely and manscapes his pubic hair into a cropped short, neat little bundle. He's very particular about his hair, he doesn't like it out of place, but he'll make an exception for you stroking his hair or grabbing fistfuls of it in a moment of pleasure.

I // Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect): Zayne is obsessed with you, so he's very romantic - every session with you is him making love to you. He wants to look into your eyes, capture every moan, every whimper, every tremble and lock it away in his memory for the times you're not with him, he wants to worship you head to toe. Every time he's with you, whether he's being slow and teasing or more desperate and needy, he's seducing you.

J // Jack off (masturbation headcanon): As mentioned above in C and D, masturbating is rare for Zayne - if he's getting off, you need to be involved in some way or it's just not worth it for him. He's never been the type of man to watch porn and get off for the sake of it, it needs to mean something for him so he'll only ever masturbate if you've called him or facetimed him and stirred him up, or if he's had the opportunity to steal a pair of your panties to keep him company while you're out of reach.

K // Kink (one or more of their kinks): You and Zayne have naturally slotted into a soft dom / pleasure dom type of situation in your bedroom antics. He knows you have a praise kink from the way he felt your heart rate surge the first time he called you a good girl, and driving you wild drives him wild, so he loves to play into it for you. Conversely, the first time you held up one of his expensive silk ties and said you'd been a bad girl that needed to be tied up, he felt an incredible rush of blood to his loins. When you look up at him doe-eyed through your lashes and call him Sir, it sends a jolt straight to his cock.

L // Location (favorite places to do the do): Zayne doesn't like to rush his lovemaking and he's a very private, stoic person, so he prefers the bedroom, or the couch. He has slipped on occasion and made love to you in his office with the door locked and his evol having frozen over the handle so it can't be turned, but he has a reputation to consider so those moments of weakness are few and far between. When you're in his bed, he can encourage you to be as loud as you like and he can join you in really letting go.

M // Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): In a word, You. Your pleasure is like a drug to him, he is obsessed with worshipping your body, feeling you come undone on his cock, his hands, his tongue, committing every little mewl and cry of passion to his memory. He needs to hear you screaming his name in pleasure, nothing turns him on more.

N // No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Zayne doesn't swear, he doesn't like to hear swearing from you either. He feels quite strongly that you can express yourself lewdly and dirty talk without needing to resort to it. He also won't do anal - if you try and bring up the suggestion to him, he will go full Doctor mode and explain to you in detail why anal sex isn't going to have any benefits for you. Finally, being the jealous and possessive type, Zayne will never share you with anyone in any kind of polyamorous situation or a threesome. You're his and his alone.

O // Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): Zayne is a munch, he loves to eat you out. When you get back from a work trip he will be on his knees in front of you at the door, slurping away at your pussy like a man that hasn't eaten a proper meal in days. Due to his lack of experience sexually he's a messy eater, loud and dedicated to suckling orgasms out of you back to back until you shove his face away from you. He loves to kiss you after he's eaten you, rubbing his sopping wet lips and chin all over your mouth so you can taste yourself on him once he's done. He's very touch-sensitive so he rarely likes to receive head because he finds it hard to edge himself and not just cum down your throat, but every time he lets you, he insists on kissing you afterwards.

P // Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): Depending on the mood that you've stirred him into, Zayne is either slow and sensual, or slower but intensely forceful. His idea of rough sex is not hard and fast, but pulling all the way out slowly, then slamming back into you and pressing his hips deeply into yours until you cry out, making sure you feel him as deep as you possibly can.

Q // Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): Zayne doesn't like quickies at all. If there's a situation of you two having a potential quickie, he would rather edge and tease you and leave you wanting until later when he can get you home or back to your hotel room and properly pleasure you. If you're being insistent, he might slide his hands under your skirt and finger you at traffic lights to get you off while he drives you somewhere, but he won't partake himself, he'll save it for later in private.

R // Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): Being a doctor, he leans towards the risk-averse. He's open to roleplaying sexually with you, open to some more vanilla bondage aspects like tying your hands with his tie or spanking, but he doesn't get too exotic. Despite you being the love of his life and woman he wants to marry, he insists on condoms even though he knows you're on the pill because the pill isn't 100% effective on it's own. If you asked him about stopping the use of condoms however, he'd be open to it...but it needs to be your ask, he'd never ask you himself.

S // Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): Due to his inexperience, once he's inside you Zayne tends to cum somewhat quickly and only lasts a few minutes, but being a surgeon and very fit, his stamina is through the roof so he recovers incredibly quickly and is ready to go another round in a very short amount of time. He'll cum, eat your pussy to another orgasm and by the time you're done falling apart on his tongue, he'll be ready to slide back in and go again for you.

T // Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?): Zayne bought you an app-controlled egg vibrator during a particularly long stint away from you where he'd been working remotely for almost a month. It has a two fold purpose: he gets to ensure he's still pleasuring you even when he can't be physically with you, and he gets to be sure you're going to bed and sleeping at a reasonable hour. It has a pavlovian response in you, the closer to 10pm you see the clock get, the wetter you start to get until you see the little push alert that tells you he's logged into the app and is waiting for you to turn the toy on.

U // Unfair (how much they like to tease): Zayne is an incorrigible tease. He will stir you up relentlessly whispering all sorts of tantalizing nothings in your ear in public, but if you try and touch him and act on them, he won't let you. He will edge you in his lap, holding your hands behind your back, coaxing the answers he wants to hear out of you or he'll stop touching you.

V // Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): He is a MOANER. Zayne is very vocal, gasps, moans, whimpers, growls, pants, all of it escape his lips shamelessly in moments of passion, when he orgasms it's loud and needy, moaning your name in a throaty whine of pleasure. It's another reason why he tries to keep his sexual activities in private and will only have sex in public if he's absolutely sure no one is around (ie: in a secluded garden in the dead of night) because he is LOUD.

W // Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): Zayne would love to experiment with using his evol in a pleasure situation, but he's a little intimidated by the prospect of an evol backlash when he's so unrestrained so he hasn't bought it up to you yet. The idea of making a little ball of ice he can roll against your clit, or a toy of ice he can slide into you is something he's interested in exploring in the future though.

X // X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): Zayne is circumsized, given both his parents are doctors too, and he's a grower, not a shower. He looks fairly average soft, but grows to about 7.5 inches when erect. He's got a curve straight upwards to his cock and it sits high, which makes it perfect for straddling him. He's got average girth, nothing excessive, but you're so small compared to him that it still requires warming you up before you can take him.

Y // Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): His body years for yours all the time, it takes no time at all for you to feel him get hard against you if you cuddle him too long, if you rub your ass against him deliberately to tease him, if you shift in his lap a little too much when you're cuddling watching TV or playing games together. It depends on your moods and situation as to whether or not you'll both act on it and have sex, but his body is keenly enamored with yours.

Z // Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): Due to his PTSD from his time as a battle medic at Mt Eternal, Zayne can sometimes be a light sleeper, so a session with you can be just what he needs to exhaust him enough to fall into a deep, peaceful sleep without his regular nightmares. He tends to fall asleep very quickly in your arms, because it's where he feels the safest.

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Okay now that I've reblogged that one post...

Holy shit

Like, please understand me. This is how I already interpreted these relationships after reading Journal 3 but like

Wow Ford really was in a weird kinda complicated gay situationship with Bill and Fiddleford, huh? When he's all alone on Christmas in tbob he's all like "Oh yeah haha of course...of course. You have. Yeah. You have a wife, F. How could I expect you not to leave. I am totally not secretly hoping you'll turn around and come back to me, or that you'll even bring your family back here if you have to so I can see you. I'd retreat to my dreams but I haven't seen my muse in weeks and I miss him so badly. I'm so alone"

He and Fiddleford aren't even dating but it's hard not to get the light impression that this situationship is such that Ford kinda treats Bill like his comfort triangle from his head and dreams and Fiddleford like his comfort best friend in his lab. Like he's sad on Christmas that his boyfriends left him alone, you know? Of course it's definitely more complicated than just that, but they are dear companions to him

Or when Bill finally comes back and Ford is pissed

"You return now? After all of that, after me missing you so badly, almost dying, wondering if I'd dreamed it all up. You return now like it was no biggie? Did you ever mean the things you said? Did you not find some other scientist or some other big brain to talk up? Have you found someone else? Another partner?"

And then Bill, dodging the question was like "Funny you think I'm cheating on you as if you haven't been spending all that time with F. The side bitch. The third wheel. You've even considered telling him everything, even though you know he has second thoughts. Heh. A little birdie told me he dreams of shutting down the project even."

Leading Ford to be like "Aw hell how could I accuse my muse of such a terrible thing when I haven't been a saint. He's right! F has been much less motivated lately and I've just gotten so paranoid from the isolation. I'm so sorry for my baseless accusations."

I don't even have a lot to say I just love these three. Fiddleford put up with a lot of shit from Ford while also dealing with his own problems and trying to help him regardless, while Stanford saw him as a comfort and a good friend but ultimately someone who was of lesser mind than he and couldn't see things through his eyes, while Bill was in Stanford's corner actively making him worse and contributing to his isolation (trying to get him to drop Fiddleford and actively feeding his paranoia), while Stanford was seeing both relationships of his with stars in his eyes and rose tinted glasses because he refused to do some introspection

There's so much stuff that journal 3 and tbob added to the equation that's just bad/shitty all around. Can't believe Ford went through a double divorce/breakup despite not having ever been married (or, at least, despite not even officially dating them sorta)

The entire situation in the past is just tragic and hilarious and concerning all at once and that's what I like the portal trio for tbh

[tarot-swords-gemini]

Pick A Pile: What seductive mysteries surround your love life? (Reality check)

The images are not mine! I found them one Pinterest! If you know the artists mention them!!

Whenever you feel ready pick the pile that feels close to you but don't overthink it for intuition doesn't take long!If this post is not for you scroll, don't press your spirit to read one, it might not match your situation! Some parts might be 18+, so if you are not, scroll.

💌My type of readings are brutally honest for l used to struggle with it myself; so now I only command from the spirit to tell me the truth through protection, but always the truth, I like it or not, so I warn you that I am like that.

The symbols are: Veil, Crystal Ball, Black Cat, Moonlight, Rose Petals, and Book.

Like & Reblog my pinned post (you can click my profile and do that, for it will help me to make a living from it) for it will bring the right people to my page!! thank you! And may you be safe, happy and blessed!

1. Veil:

Cards: Seven of Swords, Eight of Wands, Three of Pentacles, Death with Strength, Ten of Pentacles, King of Swords, Nine of Cups with Magician, Eight of Cups, Page of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles (bottom: Six of Swords, Empress, Tower)

💌Message: The seductive mysteries surrounding your love life involve a mix of transformation and hidden dynamics. The Seven of Swords suggests deceit or hidden motives, while the Eight of Wands indicates rapid changes or communication; work on your intuition and expect different types of people to come to you and you will intuitively know who are the ones for you. The Three of Pentacles points to collaboration and teamwork, suggesting that someone might be working behind the scenes, or you might meet someone in a place where you work or do some sort of collaboration with others. Death with Strength indicates major transformation and resilience, hinting at significant changes and the need for inner strength, again, work in your intuition, you will meet many people and not all of them are right for you even if it looks like it. The Ten of Pentacles shows long-term stability, but combined with the King of Swords, it implies that there are serious, perhaps intellectual or strategic aspects involved, trust your rationality when it comes to “judging” people. The Nine of Cups with the Magician suggests that there are deep-seated desires and manifestations at play, you have intense desires and they will be manifested in the near future as long as you work on your intuition. The Eight of Cups and Page of Pentacles reflect moving on from past issues and new beginnings in order for this energy to settle in your life. The Seven of Pentacles highlights ongoing investments and patience. At the bottom, the Six of Swords, Empress, and Tower reveal that while there is growth and nurturing potential, there could also be sudden upheavals or revelations that shake your current understanding in order to make you understand what your desires really mean to you. Overall, expect transformation and a seductive mystery that should be treated with intuition and logic so you don’t end up with the wrong person.

Keywords: Deceit, changes, hidden motives, 333, collaboration, transformation, resilience, desires, manifestations, moving on, candles, journal, new beginnings, patience, upheaval.

—-

2. Crystal Ball:

Cards: Eight of Wands, Four of Cups, Eight of Swords with King of Swords, Chariot, Empress, Four of Pentacles, Nine of Wands, Two of Swords, Five of Swords, Sun, Emperor (bottom: Page of Cups, Six of Wands, Eight of Cups)

💌Message: The seductive mysteries surrounding your love life reveal a complex mix of desires and “important” obstacles. The Eight of Wands indicates swift developments, but the Four of Cups and Eight of Swords with King of Swords suggest feelings of dissatisfaction and mental blocks, with possible intellectual or communication issues. This is a moment where you can use to describe to yourself what you really want and get to know the nature of your character. These obstacles serve as freedom for you, for they give you time to think. The Chariot and Empress show a powerful drive and nurturing potential, yet the Four of Pentacles and Nine of Wands reveal holding back and defensiveness; you are capable of loving but you think that you can’t be loved, this is a source of negativity that you need to heal soon. The Two of Swords and Five of Swords highlight conflict and indecision, suggesting that unresolved issues or competing interests might be at play. Mental issues might be present here. The Sun and Emperor indicate clarity, success, and strong foundations, but the Page of Cups, Six of Wands, and Eight of Cups at the bottom reflect a mix of emotional offers, recognition, and the need to move past previous disappointments. Disconnect from your fears and let your heart guide your way for once!

Keywords: Swift developments, dissatisfaction, mental blocks, drive, nurturing, defensiveness, conflict, boots, indecision, success, pizza, emotional offers, moving on.

—-

3. Black Cat:

Cards: World, Wheel of Fortune, Magician, Fool with Six of Wands, Nine of Cups, Four of Pentacles, Five of Wands with Hanged Man, Hierophant, Ten of Swords (bottom: Nine of Pentacles, Four of Pentacles, Nine of Swords)

💌Message: The seductive mysteries surrounding your love life involve significant fast transformations and evolving dynamics. The World and Wheel of Fortune indicate major changes and cycles of fortune, while the Magician and Fool with Six of Wands reveal a blend of manifestation, new beginnings, and public recognition. You are about to manifest someone you want! The Nine of Cups suggests deep personal satisfaction, but the Four of Pentacles and Five of Wands with Hanged Man show a struggle with holding on and internal conflict; accept that you deserve the life you want and let it happen!! The Hierophant points to traditional values or commitment, whereas the Ten of Swords highlights painful endings or betrayals. What ended was necessary, don’t let it impact you anymore. The Nine of Pentacles, Four of Pentacles, and Nine of Swords at the bottom emphasize issues of independence, holding onto past hurts, and anxiety — let your desire come to life and ignore any whispers of the past; you’re not there anymore and you will never return there because your path is more beautiful than you think! Overall, there are themes of both new opportunities and unresolved conflicts influencing your love life, with a high chance of manifesting what you want — just make sure to enjoy it and not detach from it once it comes and neglect it.

Keywords: Transformation, cycles, manifestation, 333, angels, white color, new beginnings, recognition, social media, new follower, satisfaction, conflict, holding on, commitment, looking back, independence, anxiety and toast.

---

4. Moonlight:

Cards: Justice, Hierophant, Ace of Wands, Magician, World, Devil with Seven of Pentacles, Knight of Swords with King of Wands, Two of Swords, Three of Pentacles (bottom: Temperance, Queen of Wands)

💌Message: The seductive mysteries surrounding your love life reveal a complex blend of balance, cravings, and the necessity to change your perspective quickly. Justice and Hierophant highlight themes of fairness and commitment, indicating that traditional values and moral judgments play a significant role in your life for good and bad reasons. The Ace of Wands and Magician signify new, passionate beginnings and the power to manifest desires. You need to be clear with what you want and let it come to life. The World suggests completion and fulfillment, but the Devil with Seven of Pentacles warns of potential bondage or delays due to unresolved issues or unhealthy attachments, so here to me it means that a cycle in your life is about to end and you will need to accept it. You might need to read the previous pile too. The Knight of Swords with King of Wands indicates dynamic, assertive energy but possibly conflicting motives; there might be confusion between a need and a want — learn to enjoy both. The Two of Swords points to indecision or a crossroads, while the Three of Pentacles emphasizes collaboration and effort in relationships; collaborate with your heart and mind, and attract what you want. At the bottom, Temperance and Queen of Wands suggest the need for balance and an appealing, magnetic presence to navigate these complexities.

Keywords: Balance, commitment, passion, 55, manifestation, transformation, bondage, delays, door, red door, assertiveness, indecision, collaboration, magnetic presence and magic.

---

5. Rose Petals:

Cards: Four of Pentacles, Judgment, Page of Wands with Hermit, Four of Wands, Magician, Devil, Seven of Pentacles, Emperor, Sun, Five of Cups, Ace of Swords, King of Wands, Ten of Wands, Two of Swords, Ace of Cups (bottom: Queen of Cups, Ten of Cups, Star)

💌Message: The seductive mysteries surrounding your love life reveal a mix of transformation, stability, and emotional depth. The Four of Pentacles and Judgment suggest that holding onto past issues or fears is a significant factor, with the need for self-reflection and major decisions — you are in your healing or soft era or about to be. The Page of Wands with Hermit indicates an inner exploration of passion and creativity, while the Four of Wands and Magician point to solid foundations and the power to create your ideal relationship. Something might start as a friendship and evolve into something deeper. The Devil and Seven of Pentacles warn of potential bondage or delays, emphasizing the need for patience, don’t lose hope just because something happens slower than expected. Also avoid being mad at your fate — your life is yours, their life is theirs, stop comparing. The Emperor and Sun signify stability, authority, and joy, and with the Five of Cups and Ace of Swords reveal past disappointments and the need for clarity coming to light to be addressed and finished, at least mentally. The King of Wands and Ten of Wands suggest a passionate yet burdensome energy that your love life might have, and with the Two of Swords indicating indecision between love and burden — but hey, allow time to be itself. The Ace of Cups at the bottom, along with the Queen of Cups, Ten of Cups, and Star, points to new emotional beginnings, fulfillment, and hope for a deeply satisfying connection. Don’t give up. Love is here!!

Keywords: Glitter, stability, eating, self-reflection, creativity, shadow work, bondage, email, nostalgia for something absent, throne, clarity, burdens, indecision, fulfillment, hope and new shoes or shopping with a look of neutrality. Your mind is elsewhere, focus.

---

6. Books:

Cards: Queen of Wands with Queen of Cups, Six of Cups, Seven of Wands with Four of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, Hanged Man, Three of Cups with Hierophant, Justice, Knight of Wands, Two of Wands (bottom: King of Cups)

💌Message: The seductive mysteries surrounding your love life involve a rich tapestry of emotional depth and evolving dynamics. The Queen of Wands with Queen of Cups indicates a blend of passion and emotional sensitivity, highlighting an attractive and nurturing presence in your love life. The Six of Cups suggests past influences or nostalgia, while the Seven of Wands with Four of Cups points to challenges and dissatisfaction in navigating emotional blocks; there are some past influences that still influence you but you’re slowly improving the energy around you. The Wheel of Fortune and Hanged Man reveal significant shifts and a need for new perspectives. The Three of Cups with Hierophant indicates celebration and possibly a commitment or traditional values influencing your social circle. Justice signifies a quest for balance and fairness in relationships. The Knight of Wands here explains a dynamic, adventurous energy, and with the Two of Wands reveals planning and decision-making for future directions; you will need to take a decision regarding two people or two paths that will impact your love life — your heart will guide you if you allow her. The King of Cups at the bottom underscores emotional maturity and depth in your love life, which overall means that you’re almost ready for what you crave to experience emotionally.

Keywords: Emotional depth, passion, past influences, debt, red dress, shifts, new perspectives, celebration, commitment, balance, adventure, planning, travel, and intelligence.

————————————-

My free and paid readings are available! Please take a look and support me so I can save some money for my desired college. Thank you❤️

Wish you the best of luck!

[bloatedandalone04]

Bets & Bargains - Part 9

Series Masterlist

➪in which you and bradley are happy and content with each other, but the girl he’s trying to keep in his past keeps trying to insert herself back in his life.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 4k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

Now that the topic of sex had been discussed, you felt totally and completely comfortable with Bradley. 

He didn’t want to rush into things if you didn’t, and that turned you on, strangely enough. 

When Bradley left your place after that not-as-embarrassing as you thought it would be talk with him, you were left wanting him more than ever. How did you land yourself such a great boyfriend? And why did it take you so long to realize that the way Luke treated you was not at all the way a boyfriend should?

With Bradley, it felt right, it felt easy. He made you feel wanted and desired and like he actually wanted to be with you. When you were with Luke, it felt that way in the beginning, but slowly things started to fade, and it started pretty much right when he began asking for blowjobs and stating that you would get nothing in return. 

Yeah, you should’ve seen the signs way earlier. 

Unsurprisingly, the next day while you were in Eric Clarke’s class, you were thinking about Bradley. This was actually the class he walked you to the day after your first date at the gardens, funnily enough, so it was kind of obvious why you had a hard time focusing during the three hour lesson. 

When the class ended, you were putting your journal and notebooks in your bag when Clarke - who very stoically asked to be called that on the first day of class - came up to your table that was in the middle row. “Miss Y/l/n,” he greeted, his eyes showing his older age as they wrinkled when he smiled down at you. He wasn’t too old, maybe in his early forties, if the gray hairs scattered around were anything to go by. 

You looked up at him, your hand pausing halfway into your bag. “Oh, hi,” you say back, dropping your pencil into your bag before slinging it over your shoulder. 

“I was hoping to speak to you privately about your recent assignment,” he started, leaning against the table and looking around at the others as they walked out of the room. 

Fuck. The last assignment you turned in was one you were not confident about in the slightest. It was due yesterday, and you had to quickly write something up as soon as you got back home from Bradley’s place Monday night, right after he went down on you like a starved man. 

To say you weren’t focused would be the biggest understatement. And Bradley was one hundred percent to blame for it. 

“Oh,” you trail off, your brows dropping a bit as you look up at him. “It’s bad, right? I didn’t do very well?”

Clarke waited until it was just you and him left in the room before turning back to you and shaking his head. “Quite the opposite, actually,” he said and your brows lifted again. 

“Wait, seriously?” You asked in disbelief, almost certain that the assignment was the worst one you had ever submitted in your entire life. “I thought I bombed it.”

“No,” he laughed, his eyes flickering down your body before settling back on yours. “It was good. Really good; well written, thought out, and not to mention the grammar was pretty much flawless.” 

Now you were beginning to think he was just messing with you. The writing piece you turned in was bland, a bit boring and rushed, that much you knew. But maybe not? Why would your instructor lie to you? “Oh…really?” You ask again, feeling your phone vibrate from its place in your bag. “I wasn’t confident about it at all.”

Clarke nodded, crossing his arms and showing off his muscles against his tight fitting button up. You didn’t spend too long looking at them, out of respect for your teacher. If you were a few years older and attracted to guys twice your age, you’d be all over that, but thankfully you weren’t. “Of course there were a few errors here and there, but overall it was great,” 

You smiled up at him. “Thank you,” then you looked around and noticed just how close he was to you now that you were alone. You look back at him with a smaller smile, “Is that all? I have another class right after this one.”

You didn’t, but you weren’t feeling all that comfortable right now. “Yes, that’s all,” he replied and thankfully stood back up to his full height, moving away from you. “Good work, Y/n.”

You give him another smile and quickly stand up, reaching for your phone as you exit the room. Just as your fingers brushed against it inside your bag, you bumped into someone in the hall and you instantly forgot about your quest of finding it. “I’m sorry,” you rush to say, but you immediately recognize the deep laugh of Bradley. You look up and meet his brown eyes, your gaze softening as you grin up at him. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he said back, resting his hands on your hips as he leans down to press a kiss to your lips. You kiss him back, your previous feeling of uneasiness washing away as you practically melt against him. “Did you get my text?” He asked when he pulled away. 

You place your hands on his chest, shaking your head. “No, I haven’t checked my phone yet,” you answer, looking up at him. “Clarke kept me back for a few minutes after class.” 

“Clarke, huh?” He teased, squeezing your hips playfully. “Should I be worried?”

You roll your eyes and gently push him away from you but then take his hand when he holds it out to you with a laugh. The two of you begin to walk down the hall towards the exit, your free hand pulling out your phone to check his text. You blush when you read it, looking over at him and leaning up to kiss his cheek. “I missed you too,” you beam, lacing your fingers with his. “And yes, you can walk me home after class.”

“Oh, good,” he laughed, holding up your joined hands. “Because this would’ve been really fucking awkward if you said no.”

You shake your head as you walk through the campus, and when you get to your building, you turn to look up at him. “Come in with me? Please?”

Bradley grinned down at you, squeezing your hand. “I was really hoping you’d ask me that,” 

You were blushing as you guided him inside and right past Sam, who was sitting on the couch and looking up at the two of you with a scowl on her face. Bradley lifted his hand in a cocky wave as you passed her, and you held back a laugh as you pulled him down the hall and into your room. He turned to you with a smirk as you closed the door behind him, then he let his gaze drift around your room, and you realized he had never been in here before. 

Now you were a bit nervous as you looked around your room as well, taking in the clutter. “Sorry, it’s kind of messy,” you trail off, dropping your bag onto the floor next to your dresser. 

“Kind of messy?” He repeated with a laugh, letting you take his bag off his shoulder and drop it next to yours. “If this is ‘kind of messy’, what would you call my room?” He asked as he did one more scan before turning to you. 

“Unorganized, untidy, cluttered, chaotic, maybe,” you listed and he raised his brow at you as he stepped forward and placed his hands on your hips. 

“It’s not that bad and you know it,” he mumbled, pulling you close to him. His gaze softened as you smiled up at him, bracing your hands on his chest. “Is that Sam out there?”

Your smile faltered a bit as you looked down at his plain gray shirt. “Yeah,” you answer quietly, smoothing out the fabric with your fingers. “We haven’t been talking much. It kinda sucks. I miss her even though she’s right across the hall from me.” 

Bradley hums, lifting his hand and tugging at your bottom lip with his thumb as he presses a kiss to your forehead. “Maybe I should go formally introduce myself to the person who can’t seem to stop upsetting my girl,” he mumbled against your skin and made a move to open the door, but you just laughed and pulled him further away from it. 

“No,” you shook your head with a smile and tugged him towards your bed. “She’ll probably end up yelling at you and I’ll feel even more embarrassed.”

Bradley sat back against your headboard as he kept his fingers laced with yours. “Maybe I’ll hold off then,” he said, gently pulling on your hand until you were sitting next to him. “But I got you to laugh, though.”

You smile, moving to snuggle against his side as his arm wrapped around your shoulders. “Yeah,” you whispered, laying your head on his chest. “You did.” 

He leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head. “I want to take you out on a date,” he stated, making your smile grow as you propped your chin on his shoulder and looked up at him. 

“Another one?” You teased, referring to the many dates you’ve already had with him. “What did you have in mind?” 

Bradley looked in thought for a second before he said, “The beach,”

You raised a brow, “The beach?” You echoed, lifting yourself a bit higher so you could look him in the eye. “You mean the one that’s like a three hour drive away?”

He shrugged, “I can make it in two,” then grinned as he added, “Yeah, that’s the one.”

“You want to drive there?” You asked for clarification, playing with his fingers as you looked up at him. 

“Yeah. You, me and the Jeep. My two girls,” he laughed and you blushed. “Plus, the drive will be like a test to see if we can put up with each other for that long.”

A laugh leaves your lips as you lean up to press a kiss to his jaw. “That’s a good point,” you agree. “What day?”

“Saturday?” He suggests, pulling you closer to him. “It’s supposed to be really hot and since summer is almost over, it shouldn’t be too crowded.”

You smile, leaning up higher to press a soft kiss to his mouth. “That actually sounds perfect,” 

Bradley smiles back and kisses you again. “I’ll pick you up Saturday morning,” he mumbled against your lips and you nodded before kissing him for quite a while after. 

The next day you were sitting on Bradley’s bed, your back propped against his knees as he leaned against his headboard. Your notebook was open on your thighs as you skimmed through the few notes you were able to write down during your lecture with Mal Scott, an instructor you actually really liked but had a hard time keeping up with. 

Bradley was flipping through an old jet manual he said he found in his dad’s things, and the way he said it showed just how much he was used to not having a father figure, or a mother figure, around anymore. It made you sad, but that was a topic for further down the road. 

You were trying to figure out if the letter on the paper was an e or a c when Bradley leaned in and placed his hands on your hips after setting the manual aside. “I’ll be right back,” he murmured, dipping his head down to press a kiss to the side of your mouth before he gently pushed you forward enough until he was able to slip out from under you. 

You watched as he walked towards the small bathroom he had attached to his room, the one you were secretly jealous of since he has a fucking bathroom attached to his room, before looking back down at your notes. 

Only a few seconds had passed before his phone went off from its place on the bed next to you. You glanced over at it, unsure if you were at the point in your relationship in which it was okay for you to check your boyfriend’s phone or not. After a few more seconds, you decide to leave it be and return your gaze to your book. 

But then it went off again. And again. And then one more time and you grabbed it after the fourth ding. Maybe it was an emergency and someone really needed to reach him? That was what you thought, anyway, when you clicked on his messages. 

Briana: I miss you, Brad.

Briana: I know you miss me, too. 

Under those texts was a picture she sent, her blonde hair covering her left breast while her right one was on full display. 

Briana: I know you miss fucking me.

You felt a bit sick and it only got worse when she sent a second picture, this one making your skin heat up. The photo was of the side of Bradley’s face, his lips pressed to her collar bone with his eyes closed. A faint smirk was on Briana’s face as she looked at the camera, her fingers tangled in his messy hair. 

Briana: I bet that new girl hasn’t let you fuck her like this yet.

You quickly put down his phone and close your book, a feeling of nausea creeping up the back of your throat. You knew Bradley was with his ex for a while, and there was no doubt that they both have countless photos together on their phones, but the last thing you wanted to see was one of them unexpectedly like that.  

Sitting up, you look around his bed for your own phone, wanting nothing more than to leave quietly and tell him you felt sick through text later, but then Bradley walked back into his room and made eye contact with you. 

-

Bradley felt content for the first time in a long time. He has a great girlfriend, he’s doing well in his classes, and he’s spending less and less time holed up in his room. 

Having you enter his life at this time was shaping out to be one of the best things to ever happen to him. When he was in your room yesterday, he saw your ticket from the gardens propped up against your mirror on your dresser, and the memory of it made him feel warm inside since you kept yours, just like how he kept his. 

Bradley fixed his hair in the mirror from when you made it messy earlier during your pre-study makeout, and he was quickly figuring out that he definitely wanted to makeout with you before every study session from now on. 

After smoothing out his hair, he left the bathroom and made eye contact with you, but instead of you looking happy like how you did a few minutes ago, you now looked like you were getting ready to bolt out of his room. 

His brows furrowed and his smile faded as he quickly walked over to you. “Hey,” he said softly, sitting down next to you. Your expression was one of embarrassment as you reached for your bag and shoved your book into it. “What’s wrong?”

“Your phone went off and I left it, but then it went off again and again so I checked it,” you answer, not meeting his eyes as you zip up your bag. “I’m sorry.”

Bradley furrowed his brows. You were upset because you checked his phone? “Babes, it’s fine. I don’t care if you check my phone,” he said, but you gave him a look that told him you weren’t upset because of that. 

He grabbed his phone and saw that Briana had texted him, and his face paled as he read the messages. “I shouldn’t have checked it without your permission,” you whispered as he quickly scrolled past the photos she attached. He’d never seen them before, he could tell that from the quick glimpse he got of both of them, and he had no idea when she took the one of him kissing her neck. It was obviously during one of the times they fucked during those eleven months, but he didn’t want to look at it again to further figure it out. “I think I should go.”

Then he realized that you saw the pictures and the texts and he quickly looked up at you. “Babes,” he started but you just shook your head and stood up from his bed. “Baby, wait, please.”

You made it all the way to his door before he caught up with you and gently grabbed your wrist. “You’re not upset that we haven’t had sex yet, right?” You asked before he could say anything. 

“What? Of course not,” he assured you, sliding his hand down until it was holding yours. “We just talked about that and I told you I’m not in any rush with you. I’m sorry you saw those pictures, I don’t even know when she took the one of her and I.”

“I just…you were probably used to fucking her whenever you wanted and we haven’t done that yet and-”

“Hey,” he cut you off, using his other hand to firmly grip your chin. He waited until you met his eyes before he continued, “Yeah, Bri and I spent more time in bed together than out of it, but that was only because we didn’t connect very well any other time. I told you, fucking me was the best part of the relationship for her, and that’s all she saw me as. It’s still all she sees me as.”

You reached up and wrapped your fingers around his wrist. “She’s so pretty, Bradley…and the picture of you and her…I hate it,”

Bradley shook his head, his grip on your chin loosening. “Yeah, she’s pretty, but you’re fucking gorgeous. The most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out,” he promised, pulling on your bottom lip with his thumb. “And I’d never seen that picture until a few seconds ago. I didn’t even know she took it, okay? I can’t do anything about the photos she has of us on her phone, but I can delete all the ones I have on my own. Just stay, please?”

You bit down on your lip and looked up at him with a conflicted expression. “I don’t want to be one of those controlling girlfriends, Bradley,”

“You’re not,” he said, and you thankfully let him pull you back towards his bed. He picked up his phone and handed it to you after opening up his photo gallery. “There’s not much, but delete anything you want. I promise you, Briana and I are done. We’re over.”

You took his phone from him, slowly sitting back down as you scrolled through the gallery. You’d probably stumble across some really fucking embarrassing photos of him in high school, but he honestly couldn’t care less. 

“Bradley,” you said quietly as you clicked on the first photo he took with Briana. “Are you sure? I can get over it, I just-” But he just clicked on the delete button without saying a word, and you looked up at him with hooded eyes. “Okay.”

He gently pushed you onto your back as you held his phone up and scrolled until you found another one, and he hovered his body over yours as he waited for you to repeat what he did. “Delete it, baby,” he encouraged, running his hand down your body until his fingers grazed the zipper on your shorts. You tap the red button quickly and he grinned, pressing a kiss to the side of your neck. “Good job.”

Then he moved further down until his shoulders were pressed against your thighs and he was kneeling on the floor. He unzipped your shorts and slowly slid them down your legs, his lips pressing multiple kisses to the sides of your knees and inner thighs. “Bradley,” you moaned quietly and he could see your fingers shake a bit as you gripped his phone. 

“Keep going, babes,” he murmured as he pressed a kiss to your lower stomach, his hands teasing your hips through the thin material of your panties. Your teeth sunk into your lip as you took a deep breath and continued scrolling through his photos, and he pressed a final kiss to your core before pulling the flimsy fabric down your legs and leaving your lower half bare.

A quiet moan left your lips when he leaned in and licked a stripe up your folds, his tongue gently spreading around your wetness. “Fuck,” you whispered, clicking on the delete button again as you found another photo of his ex. 

Bradley grinned before wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking softly. Your body jolted a bit and he felt a sense of pride fill him as he remembered that he is almost already surpassing the amount of times Luke went down on you in the three years you were with him. You hadn’t even been his girlfriend for a full week yet and already Bradley had tasted you as much as your ex did in three fucking years. What a fucking loser Luke was.

Your body was writhing against his mouth as you held his phone with a death grip, your forehead forming a cute crease as you tried to focus on the task he had given you. “You taste so good, baby,” Bradley praised, releasing your puffy clit so he could slide his tongue through your wetness again. 

“Oh, my God,” you moaned, your fingers moving faster on the screen as he spreads you out again before dipping his tongue inside you.  He groaned as your arousal coated his taste buds, and he wrapped his arms under your thighs and pulled you closer. “Feels so good, Bradley.”

He fucking loved the way you moaned his name. His real name, not a shortened version or his last name. His real first name, and the only one you’ve ever called him. 

Bradley grunted, bumping your clit with the tip of his nose as he kissed, licked and tasted every part of you. “How’s my gallery looking, babes?” He teased and you whimpered. 

“Good..it’s good,” you respond, subtly grinding against his tongue. 

“What’s good?” He smirked, taking your clit in his mouth again and tugging on it with his teeth. “Tell me.”

“Fuck,” you cry out, nearly dropping his phone. “You. You’re good. You’re so good.” 

Bradley grinned, running his tongue along your bundle of nerves before slipping it back inside you. Your back was arching now and your legs were trying to close around his head, but his shoulders prevented them from getting very far. 

“Holy fuck,” you cursed, quickly tapping on his screen one last time before dropping his phone next to you and reaching down to pull on his hair. “There. It’s done.”

Bradley hummed as he felt your fingers thread through his hair and make it messy again for the second time today. “Good,” he praised, flattening out his tongue as he licked your dripping core. “Now I want you to come for me.”

Your eyes rolled back and you pulled harder on his hair as you did just that. A high pitched cry left your lips as you came on his tongue, your hips slowly grinding against his face as you tip your head back on his bed. “Oh, my fucking God, Bradley,” you whined as he lapped up your release. “You’re too good at that.”

He grinned as he pulled away and crawled back up your body, his mouth and chin glistening with the remnants of your high. “It’s light work,” he teased, grabbing his phone and holding it up. “Come here.” He softly demanded and you moved your head to kiss him, your eyes closing as you tasted yourself on his lips. 

Bradley parted his mouth and your tongue brushed against his just as he took a picture of the obscene kiss and officially added you to his camera roll, the intense photo surely going to fuel his need for you in the future.

[heavycreamy]

Hey Matt Gazy

This post is for Australian Journalist Matt Gazy.

Apparently you've been contacting members of our feedism/erotic weight gain community in order to discuss our very multifaceted, heavily misrepresented lifestyle.

As someone who has been in this community for 3 decades, has seen most if not all of its forms, understands the ethical connections between Feedism and Fat Liberation, and deeply cares about how folks in our community are represented to the general vanilla public, I hope that you are entering into this project/article/episode with the necessary due respect, empathy, intelligence, and kindness that you would bring to ANY oft-misunderstood and ridiculed subculture.

No one needs another sensationalist piece of journalism wilfully and lazily misrepresentating our community, sexuality, and lifestyle, which only EVER serves to further stigmatise and shame us.

We have been taken advantage of on many occasions, cast as freaks and pathetic fools with mental problems, so neither we nor the general public need more of that.

EVERY time a piece about feedism appears in the public eye, our community experiences a massive wave of trolls and judgemental, deeply fatphobic tourists coming into our online spaces and abusing us.

Please don't debase us nor yourself by making a surface level hit-piece on our community, whether intentionally or unintentionally, due to a lack of thorough research and basic respect for perspectives and life experiences outside the norm.

Feedism is INFINITELY more than simply heteronormative power play. That corner of the community represents less than 10% of what actual contemporary Feedism culture is, and ironically harbours 90% of the toxicity present in the entire culture.

Feedism is so much more than heteronormative, coercive power play. It is extremely queer, extremely feminist, extremely sensual and emotional, and is a major facet of many people's lives and psychologies.

While it may seem like simply a niche genre of porn to the casual tourist, Feedism exists outside of porn. It exists outside of kink. It exists outside of fetish. It can and should be considered an orientation, rather than simply a freaky outlier bedroom interest worthy only of reactive disgust.

Please don't be yet another unscrupulous journalist exploiting our incredibly vulnerable community for shock bait bullshit.

If you're going to try to represent us, do it comprehensively, and do it PROPERLY.

Truly speak to us. Do the work. Don't just find an extremely popular female model and falsely imagine that her experience is a stand in for ALL Feedist experiences.

If you truly want to represent Feedism, you NEED to represent it as the complex, multifaceted diaspora that it is, full of people of all kinds, all cultures, and ALL SIZES.

Should you be committed to pursuing this topic, I can offer links and connections to extremely well informed writers, thinkers, professors, and others within this community who are doing INCREDIBLE work on understanding, exploring, and expressing the deeper truths of this desire and lifestyle. There are people doing the work. You need to do it too.

We're humans. Treat us with respect, dignity, and kind curiosity.

Be better than every journalist who has come before you.

Thank you.

ps. Dear feedist pals, if you feel that what I've said here resonates with you, and mirrors your feelings at all, please feel free to reblog the shit out of this in the hopes that more visibility may help it reach its intended audience. Thanks gang ♥️🍰🍕

[hina-hina]

If you're still doing requests could we get HC's of Ghost or Soap who've fallen in love with fem!reader whos a selective mute and a new recruit to the 141? Perhaps theyre even the sweetest person he's ever met and it's instant heart eyes?

I myself rarely talk and I've found it gets a lot of stares from people, men especially which is weird but warranted I suppose?

Hello friend, this is sooo cute!! (❤´艸｀❤) I'm so sorry people did that to you just because you don't speak. Just like anyone, your worthy of love and deserve to be treated kindly! Thank you for the request, I hope you enjoy it!!!

|| Ghost + Soap With a Selective Mute S/O ||

Warnings: Military!Reader,

Female!Reader // Romantic

Can't believe i didn't use this gif when it was actually Christmas, shame on me

|| Ghost

So, I 100% see Ghost as the type of guy to be like "I don't care what you do as long as you can get the job done"

So he feels quite indifferent to the fact your selectively mute

But whenever he starts to get to know you more? He is gone

He starts to notice you silently doing small things for him without ever expecting anything in return

Which isn't something he is very used to

Things like you bringing him tea (made the british way because he won't drink it otherwise), helping him with his gear, etc.

You even once repaired his mask for him

He would set about learning sign language for you (If that's something you use)

And of course he struggled and got frustrated but it was all worth it for the look on your face when he says "thank you" in sign language

He also is quite the biggest fan of your company because he too is a man of few words

You two enjoy just sitting in each others presence, just coexisting without the need to show out for the other

It's very comfortable

If you ever felt comfortable enough to speak with him, he would be in awe

Honestly, you start to feel anxious because he is just staring at you blankly

After you prompting, he would eventually clear his throat, thankful that his mask hides his rising flush

"Your voice is.... very pretty..."

How can you help but to lean up and press a kiss to his masked cheek?

|| Soap

He would be a little questioning at first

But after a sharp look from Price, he immediately fixes his expression

He would quickly see why you were just as capable as anyone else on the force when he sees you in action

Absolutely loves how sweet you are despite everything you go through day to day

He is so thankful when you do things for him

Would also try to learn sign language if it's something you use, even though his attempts come out a bit uncoordinated

He is very protective of you and will quickly glare and ward others off if they look at you weird

He introduces you to his journal and encourages you to have one as well

Finds himself pondering what your voice sounds like often

He has a whole spread in his journal with sketches of you and notes on what he thinks you sound like

He would never push you to talk however

If you did decide to talk, he is all smiles

"Quite the voice ya have there, Hen. Pure dead brilliant."

Could barely stop himself from kissing you when he sees your bashful smile

Thankfully, you beat him to it

As always, thank you for all the support, whether it be likes, reblogs or replies! I'm thankful for everyone of you and I'm glad you enjoy what I like! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

[honeytonedhottie]

honey's diary series EP : 1⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍨💕

so i released a poll not too long ago cuz i was curious if you guys would be interested in more personal/about me stuff on the blog and you guys said yes! so im starting a series where i'll be giving journal/diary entry ideas while also sharing about myself so that then u guys can start ur diary journey.

so basically how its gonna work is i'll provide a prompt that u can draw inspiration from for ur own journal. feel free to reblog with ur own replies to take part in the diary series, todays prompt is "favorite things"…💬🎀

♡ money

♡ girl blogging

♡ everything pink and girly and femme

♡ body products such as cremes, lotions, body gels, fragrances, body nectars ALL OF IT

♡ music

♡ journalling

♡ bubble gum (the hubba bubba one)

♡ the feeling of having glossy lips

♡ charmy kitty (such an underrated sanrio character)

♡ SHOPPING

♡ sweet treats like cupcakes and milkshakes

♡ true crime podcasts (I LOVE ROTTEN MANGO)