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endo-bunny · 5 months

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His Light in the Darkness

Summary: When Joel finds love ten years into the apocalypse and has a daughter with that woman two years later, he has to deal with the death of his beloved. He had to deal with a child that he doesn’t want, the child that took his whole world. That was, until a couple months after your birth. Now you will have to go with your father, Joel, and “The Cargo,” Ellie. As you go through this traumatizing yet exciting new adventure, you will have to learn a lot of things if you wish to survive in this world.

Paring: Joel x daughter!reader

Series Warnings:Mentions of violence, using both the game lore and show lore, Tess being a mother figure to reader, reader is eight years old, attempted SA, attempted kidnapping, kidnapping, slaves, death, dialogue and actions/scenes not being exactly the same or close to original, nicknames for reader(Little Light, honey, sweetie, baby girl), anxiety attacks, anxiety alluded to but not specified, symptoms of ptsd but not specified, reader is Joel's biological daughter, mother’s looks not specified, reader is a child so she will cry a lot (please don’t complain about this) this is normal for children

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of violence, using both the game lore and show lore, Tess being a mother figure to reader, reader is eight years old, panic attack

Word Count: 3,465

******

Chapter 1 - The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Winter 2015

Cries were what filled the room. A female that looked to be in her mid thirties was laid out on a worn down mattress. In her arms was a baby, the one that was producing those beautiful sounds. Her breaths were shallow, hands bloody as her eyes met those of her lover. There beside her was Joel. He stared lovingly at the woman, your mother. She taught him how to love again, and you were also someone that was going to help teach him how to love once more in the future. The woman had already known there was a chance of not surviving through childbirth. Hell, they were living in the fucking apocalypse. They didn’t have the same materials and medical help or equipment that they had twelve years ago.

She felt weak, she wasn’t gaining any strength back. She had children before the outbreak but upon outbreak day and thereafter, they had died in front of her eyes. That was one of the many things that the two lovers confided in and shared with each other. Her other births had been similar to this birth; but her other times were much different when it came to the time after giving birth. She wasn’t gaining any strength back like she usually would, she was only losing it. She could feel her heart that had previously been pounding in her chest slowly start to slow down to an alarmingly slow speed. Her breaths that had previously been easier to have were quickly becoming harder and harder to inhale.

With just one look, Joel knew what she was about to tell him. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t lose his lover; his light in the dark. Tears flooded his eyes, racing down his face shortly after. He choked out a sob. As carefully as he could, he gingerly held her in his arms. They stayed like that for hours, even after she had taken her final breath. She had been able to breastfeed their child with the help of Joel.

As he continued to lay there, your mother still in his arms, the door was quietly opened. Tess stepped in, grief upon her face at seeing Joel with his deceased lover. She walked over, getting close enough to touch Joel’s shoulder. His eyes snapped up to meet hers. This was the most vulnerability that Joel has ever shown Tess. She saw how much pain he was in, and she couldn’t do anything to help him. He muttered something to her after he calmed down a little.

“Take the baby, I don’t want the thing that took away the love of my life.”

She was shocked to say the least. She never thought that he would ever say anything such as that. He always seemed so happy when talk of the two’s unborn child was brought up. As Tess sighed, she lightly shook her head side to side, rejecting his request; or rather demand. She couldn’t do that. He looked angry, more than angry. He was extremely pissed to say the least. He snarled at her, even more so when she started to talk about burying your mother. The rest of it all was just a blur in his mind. He blocked everything else. He didn’t want to deal with anything else, especially you.

A couple months passed by, Joel hating every moment of it. On one surprisingly warmer day, his view towards you was swiftly changed. He had put you down on the couch, not fully caring if you fell or not. It didn’t feel like it was his responsibility. He was looking over everything that he would need for his and Tess’ next run. Something in him caused him to turn his gaze towards you. There you were, smiling over at him as if he was the greatest thing in the entire universe. In a sense, he was, to you.

Once you saw that his gaze had turned towards you, you erupted into a fit of adorable little giggles. He had never heard that beautiful sound come from your tiny body. The moment he heard it, he was immediately transported to the first time he heard that same noise come from Sarah.

Right then and there, he knew how disappointed and angry Sarah and your mother would have been at him. He was beyond ashamed of how he acted and treated you. You were his daughter, he was your father, he was supposed to love and protect you. He knew then that he needed to change the person that he was, but only for you. He wasn’t going to allow himself to be any different towards anyone else, he couldn’t trust anyone else in this newer world. As for now, for the first time since your mothers death, he picked you up lovingly and smiled.

“Hi, my Little Light. Daddy’s here now.”

******

Autumn 2023

Giggles erupted from you as you played with your toys; your fathers warning to not make any noise while he wasn’t there escaping your mind. All noises stopped however once you heard the front door open, close, and then voices. All you could hear was your fathers voice before you were sprinting out to him, jumping into his arms that weren’t ready to catch you.

“Daddy!”

He huffed, trying to keep you from falling out of his arms. He looked at you with love in his eyes, but he still had his mask up due to the fact that there was a teenage girl being present.The teenager looked surprised to see this man that has been nothing but cold and rude to her, be so loving and even have a child. You finally looked at her curiosity in your eyes.

“Who’s she Daddy?”

Joel cursed under his breath, “She’s no one, just some cargo,” He had hoped that you would simply just accept that she was there for a tiny bit and then just never bring her up ever.

The teen scoffed at him, “Hi there?” Her voice seemed on edge, “I’m Ellie, the cargo.”

You giggled at her, finding the new girl funny.

“Go and stay in your room baby girl, I’m gonna stay out here, ok?”

You nodded your head, perfectly fine with going back to playing with your toys.

Thirty minutes passed, Ellie snooping through Joel's stuff the entire time. She froze though when she heard a door down the hall open. You padded down the hall, trying to be as stealthy as possible, failing however seeing as you are just eight years old and not fully aware of your surroundings. Once you reached the living room, you jumped. Looking around you saw Ellie looking at you. She also jumped, not expecting your reaction. Seeing her jump causes you to giggle, and while she is weary of you, she does find it a little cute.

“What are you doing? Didn’t the old man tell you to stay back there?”

She honestly didn’t fully care what you were doing but she was still at least a little curious.

You stared at her while your child brain worked to try and think of something, “Nothing?”

Before she could say anything else, you ran over to her. You came up to about her waist, a little lower. You’ve heard Joel and Tess talk about how you’re small for your age. They summed it up to being that you weren’t getting the right nutrients and needed to eat a little more vegetables and meat.

“Why did Daddy say that you’re cargo?”

“‘Cause he’s taking me somewhere,” She sounded grumpy and slightly irritated.

“Who are you?” Ellie was quick to ask you a question of her own.

Telling her your name, you looked down at what she was holding

In her hands were dog tags. You looked back up towards her with a perplexed gaze set in your eyes. She looked down at her hands, having completely forgotten that she was holding them.

“Oh, those are mine.”

“Are you a Firefly?”

Your question caught her really off guard. She had no idea that someone who seems as young as you would know anything about the Firefly’s.

“Uh, no, but someone that I loved was.”

You know by the tone in her voice and the look in her eyes that it was time to shut up. You walked over to your father and sat down on the ground. She watched you before returning to whatever she had been doing. You zoned her out as you found some of the crayons that you had left on the coffee table. Joel had found that he could melt down some of the broken crayons and make new ones.

You made multiple drawings, knowing that all of them would end up on something in the apartment. You looked up once you zoned back into reality. It was dark out and Joel was still asleep. Giggling quietly to yourself, you climbed onto the couch and hopped onto his chest. He jumped awake. Both from you and the nightmare that he had.

“Did you know that you talk in your sleep?”

Ellie was looking at something in your hands. Your dad picked you up and sat you down on the couch. As he sat up, he started to say but you found the fraying threads of the couch much more interesting. Although it became much less intriguing once you heard a certain someone’s voice. Tess walked in through the door, saying something to Joel and Ellie. You looked up at her, quickly getting up to go to her.

“Mama!” You somewhat calmly walked over to her, unlike how you did earlier to Joel.

She greeted you and then looked at Joel.

“Can I talk to you in the other room?”

He looked hesitant towards you before nodding, going to his room. Ellie looked at you curiously, as well as you. Once the door closed, you both turned your gazes to each other.

“So, was that your mom?”

“Not really, I just call her Mama. Daddy told me that my real mama was in a better place and that I would never be able to see her again, but that she loved me. What about you?”

“Yeah, same I guess.”

You smile brightly at the older girl. Right once you opened your mouth, beginning to say something, Tess and Joel walked back in. Joel is quick to pick you up and get you away from Ellie. As you got comfy in his large arms, resting your head against his warm chest, your eyes dropped shut.

The next time that you open your eyes, you’re strapped to your fathers chest. As you start to wake up, you realize that you're not in your home anymore. Were you outside? There weren’t any normal buildings around. Your question was soon answered when you heard guards talking. You were immediately thrown into a frenzy when someone started yelling at your group.

The next thing you know, your father is taking you out of the holder and setting you down directly next to him. Tears were streaming down your face as you frantically grasp onto his pants leg. Everyone’s kneeling and the guard is saying something. Everything happens so fast, your dad is suddenly beating the guard, Tess is grabbing the tester, and Ellie moves in front of you.

You're still crying as all the commotion settles down. You look up at Ellie, who is now sitting next to you with a panicked look on her now dirtier face. She was also looking up. As you reach out for her, wanting to be held to help calm you down, Tess is quick to step in.

“Get away from her.”

You look alarmed, confused why you couldn’t be near her. As you try to understand what's going on, Joel quickly scoops you up, getting away from Ellie just as fast. Tess has something in her hand that you can’t see very well. Tears are still falling from your now red and puffy eyes as your dad curses in frustration.

“Why are you so mad at her, Daddy?” Your small hands grasped onto his shirt, tugging slightly.

Everyone stopped at the sound of your small voice, realization that you were with them sinking into Joel and Tess’ minds. The reality of this situation was making itself loud and clear. Your question goes unanswered as the talking continues on. You were scared, you didn’t know what was going on and everything was terrifying. You just wanted to be at home, safe and sound, being held tightly under a blanket in your fathers arms.

Your breathing starts to quicken as it feels like you're losing control over your own body. Fresh tears sprout from your eyes and your heart is pounding in your ears. Were you dying? You didn’t want to die like this, not now. It felt like you couldn’t breathe. You weakly clutch at your chest as your throat closes up, small whimpers leaving the confines of your overworked lungs. Your tiny body was trembling, beginning to feel very hot in your own skin. Sweat collected on your forehead. Joel noticed very quickly what was happening.

“Hey, baby girl, breathe. You're okay. Look at me baby,” His hand guided your face to look towards him.

He talked you through it, although a lot of it sounded like you were underwater. Once you finally were back, panic attack taken care of to the best of their abilities, you noticed that it seemed like the problem from earlier was completely taken care of. You couldn’t tell when it was taken care of but it was.

Joel seemed to be in a bitterer mood than he was earlier. You stayed quiet, opting to just look around at everything since you had nothing else to do except sit there attached to your fathers chest. As you continued to walk, going somewhere but you didn’t know where, you finally arrived at a new area. It seemed to be a very rocky place. You couldn’t tell if it was a building or not, but it looked similar to one.

You father was the first to go in, holding you tight against his chest despite the fact that you were already tightly strapped to his chest. He looked around a little, making sure that the coast was clear, before telling Tess and Ellie to come in. They soon follow in after him, Tess’ immediate move is to look at you then around the place. As the four of you make your way through the building, the air seems to get tenser, as if something bad was about to happen. That feeling was proven right when Joel and you split up from Tess and Ellie. Your head was covered by the strap, Joel having done that the moment he sensed danger. You could barely move around, all you could do was listen to what was going on around you. You heard growling and your dad grunting every so often. At one point, you get jostled around a little more than normal, a muffled cry coming from your mouth. Joel is quick to put his hand on your back before taking his hand away. You hear a struggle going on before your father and Tess’ voices once again.

As your father uncovers your head, you can finally see once more. There's bodies of the infected all around, and your father is breathing heavily. You don’t get to look around much more before Joel is quickly walking again, trying to get this whole thing done and over with as fast as possible. You’re confused as to what was happening, and it seemed that Ellie seemed to be as well. The two adults however ignored your confused and concerned faces as the supposedly short journey continued on.

******

The trip was much more boring than you had expected. You were finally arriving at the building where Ellie was supposed to be dropped off at, but it seemed to be a little quiet. Joel went into protect mode almost immediately once he realized that something wasn’t right.

As he cautiously looked around, he found that everyone that should've been there was dead. He covered your eyes so that you wouldn’t have to see all of it, trying to keep you safe from the horrors of this world as much as he could. As everyone is looking around, Tess starts talking about where to go next.

“What the hell do you mean? The jobs finished, it’s time to go home,” Joel's ruff voice cuts Tess off mid sentence.

“I mean that I can’t go home,” Tess’ usually strong voice wavers as her eyes land on you.

Ellie gasps, understanding what the older woman meant. Tess pulled the neck of her shirt down to reveal a horrible looking bite. Joel didn’t know how to react, he didn’t want to believe that Tess was bitten. You didn’t understand what was going on, so you tried tugging on your fathers shirt in order to get his attention. He didn’t even look at you, just put his hand on your back.

“You have to get her to Tommy,” Tess goes over to Ellie and grips her arm, showing Joel the bite mark that Ellie had shown them earlier, “She has to be telling the truth. Look at this, this is only a few hours old and it’s already horrible,” She pulls down her own shirt collar once again while talking to further prove her point. Before Joel could respond, groaning and screeching could be heard outside. Tess rushed over to one of the boarded up windows, looking out of it to see outside.

“Get out of here, there's a hoard of those fuckers coming here,” Tess began rustling through her bag, looking for specific items.

She pulled a small object out of a little, purple bag that seemed to still be in good condition. Joel’s breath hitched the moment he realized what the bag was. Tess walked over to you, the small object and bag in her hands.

“Sweetheart, I may not be your real mother but I love you like you're my blood daughter. I’m going to have to go away for a very long time and I want you to have these,” She put the small object in your hand, “Look after your father for me, you’re His Light in the Darkness.”

As you looked at it, you saw that it was a locket. You opened it with confusion, having a little difficulty. Inside the locket were two pictures. One was a picture of your mother, father and Tess all together. Your mother was holding the camera, her arm outstretched as she smiled brightly at the camera. Joel was hugging her, a wide smile outstretched on his face as he looked at her, ignoring the camera. Tess had her hand on her gun, seeming to be on alert, but she still had a warm smile on as she stared at the camera. The second picture was one of your father and mother. Joel had his arm around your mother as she had both of hers on his chest, seeming to be laughing at something. They were in a room that looked similar to the room that your father slept in now, but some of the furniture wasn’t as it was now.

“Daddy look! It’s Mommy!” Your excited voice came out a little too loud as the sounds of groaning and clicking came closer.

Everyone else's eyes went wide upon hearing what was waiting for them outside. Tess quickly began pouring gasoline all over everything in the room, trying to make sure that everything was covered.

“Joel go! Get them out of here, take the girl to Tommy. I’ll lure them in here, then take the building with me,” Her eyes were filled to the brim with tears as she looked at the little girl that she helped raise, knowing that she'd be leaving her.

“Mama? What's happening?”

She couldn't bring herself to tell you. She walked over and kissed the top of your head before handing Joel her backpack. She gave him a silent look before Joel grabbed Ellie to leave. You were crying now, not understanding what was happening and not wanting to leave Tess. Noises could be heard behind you as Joel quickly got out of the building despite Ellies struggles to get out of his grip.

All of a sudden, a loud boom came from behind the three of you. The building exploded. You continued to cry, the commotion overwhelming you. Joel did his best to consol you with what little energy that he had left. As you started to get brought back down to earth, your eyes became increasingly heavier by the second. Joel covered your head as you laid it on his chest, sleep beginning to take you after the exhausting day.

******

Tag list:

@fakegingerrights

@silnebula

I really hope that you liked this! It took a lot of energy for me to actually make this because I've been really procrastinating. I'm currently also working on my other Tech x Reader series but I have no idea when that will be. I'm also working on chapter two for this one. I might also do some romantic one shots for Joel because I love him so much.

@macchiato-dreaming22

#joel miller x daughter!reader #tlou joel #the last of us #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller x platonic!reader #tess fluff #tlou tess #tlou tess angst #ellie fluff #ellie tlou #His light in the darkness

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rubyuji · 5 months

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The Reason for My Smile (Kim Mingyu) 🪡

“Guys come on, Mingyu is approved by my brother! How can I not care? I know I’m still scared because of the whole Chan fiasco but can you blame me?” ✮⋆˙

Genre: Angst, Fluff

AU: University!au, Nonidol!au

Pairing: Ex!Chan x Fem!Reader, Brother’s Best Friend!Mingyu x Fem!Reader (Literally Seungcheol’s younger sister)

Warnings: A bit of cursing, a break up over text but that’s about it.

Synopsis: Diving into a long-term relationship is scary for anyone for that matter, except the breakup from yours had left you traumatized because it happened over text. From then on you vowed to never wear your heart on your sleeve ever again, but your brother’s own best friend promised to change your perspective.

Note: My first ever Seventeen fic on this account, so it’s still a work in progress, but it’s definitely something! (Esp since I haven’t written in awhile). It used to be an Enhypen fic originally, but it took a lot of editing and proofreading, along with a lot of changes. Happy reading! Don’t forget to like + reblog! It would mean the world.

Word Count: 7.7k words (I’ve never written so much)

Your relationship with Chan wasn’t precisely the dreamy or ideal relationship you had hoped for but as someone who had almost no experience, put that and being a people pleaser together, and you have whatever is left of your so-called relationship.

It’s not like Chan was a bad person or anything, the boy was quite the softie, so he’s probably just as overwhelmed as you were when it came to dating.

The latter part of the relationship consisted of you trying to understand him as best as you could, that was until inconsistencies started popping up a lot more.

Chan felt distant, he was more busy, despite the two of you being in the same major. That was the whole basis of your relationship after all. At the beginning of your relationship, it was sweet and full of the first times. Chan used to hold your hand, his other one holding your bag, as you would walk to the diner across campus and stay there for hours just talking about your day.

The soft gazes he’d give you whenever your eyes met, the flowers he’d give you on a random day, and the late-night calls wherein one of you ended up asleep. It was like a broken record that rewind itself during the late hours when you would start to question his love for you.

Those moments seem like old memories to you now as you see another apologetic text from your boyfriend. Another text where he promised to make it up to you and that he’d do better next time, it was starting to become a routine where you got stood up by him.

You wondered what on earth would keep your boyfriend so busy, especially when you both had ended up together because you took the same classes. You weren’t a slacker and always got your work done on time, so things weren’t adding up, especially when you both always tried to help one another.

The week after your midterms, you decided to visit your family and stay at home for a little bit.

Your family lived thirty minutes away from campus and you honestly couldn’t bother to make a drive that long every day, so you opted to stay in the dorms to save time, but on occasion, you would suck it up for a few days whenever your living space felt too tight.

Today was one of those days, but it felt a lot worse than you’d like to admit.

“Hey, I’m gonna go stay at my family’s for the weekend, and on Monday, just try not to make a mess here or anything.” You say to your roommate, Bora, who nods without looking at you.

Your roommate had an annoying habit of not looking at people whenever she was focused on her work, but you grew quite used to it and just shrugged it off after a few months.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. I only ever have Chaeyoung or Hyewon over so no mess and no broken belongings. Have fun and say hi to Seungcheol for me if you see him, will you? Drive safe Y/n,” Bora finally turns to you from her bed and you laugh.

Seungcheol was a good brother and had a heart of gold, but you couldn’t handle your friends gushing over him in front of your face, it just felt weird when you grew up right beside him, the image of a younger Cheol picking his nose suddenly registering itself into your brain as you cringed.

You couldn’t care less about who he’d date though, it was none of your business, even as his little sister. As long as he didn’t end up hurt or hurting anyone, your brother was free to be with who he liked.

“Sure, I’ll leave a word when I see him. Tell me if anything comes up, and now I’ll get going! Bye, Bora!” You picked up your backpack and made the short walk to your car, ready to go home and lay on your childhood bed, which was admittedly more comfortable than the one you had in the dorm.

You text Chan about going to your family’s place, and the boy follows up with a thumbs-up emoji and an ‘I love you, stay safe’ text.

Your boyfriend didn’t have much to say anyway, and you were starting to grow bored with the way things were going. He probably felt the same way and you couldn’t blame him when you couldn’t keep your mouth shut either, since you seemed to be the only one exerting effort at this point.

He might even find you annoying now but didn’t have the heart to tell you because he was just that nice.

“Breaking up is honestly super tempting right now and I honestly can’t stand it anymore! It’s driving me mad, Cheol!” You whine as you stop at the intersection that leads into your neighborhood.

You didn’t mean to rub it in or anything, but you did live in a wealthier part of town, which explained the long drive home, and you were so glad to see the familiar area after a stressful trip.

It just so happened that halfway through the drive, your poor brother had to endure fifteen minutes of your rambling like some counselor even though he simply just wanted to check up on you.

“Y/n, just break up with him then, simple. It’s been months since you started telling me about how bad it’s getting, and honestly, I’m horrified to hear about what else is to come once you get here. I love you so much, really I do, but this boy is full of empty promises and lies,” Seungcheol sighs deeply.

The light turns green and you finally drive into your street, completely forgetting you were on the phone.

“Fuck don’t ignore me like that, I know how much you both liked your sweet puppy love phase, but get a grip Y/n. Chan is draining you, and he’s probably just as tired as you are. It’s time to stop hanging onto that year you both had,” You pull into your driveway and click your tongue.

Your brother was right, but it also killed you knowing you’d hate the thought of not having Chan around anymore. It was all easier said than done, especially when you felt incomplete without him.

“I see your ass in the driveway, Mom and Dad went out to get food so you have a fuck ton of explaining to do.” You see Seungcheol in the window and laugh before honking at him, scaring the living daylights out of him in the process.

“I’ll be in, like five. Let me get my bag ok? And tell Kkuma I’m here, I missed her.” You turn the engine off and grab your bag from the back, a wave of comfort and warmth washing over your form as you look at the house.

“Anyways, I’ve been contemplating on wanting to break up with him because I think he’s tired of me and maybe I did become quite annoying. Unless I’m invalidating my feelings and gaslighting myself into thinking I’m the problem,” You go on.

At this point, it was past dinner time and you and Seungcheol were in your room, dressed for bed and still talking about your problems. Poor Kkuma looked ready to curl up beside you and sleep but was forced to stay awake because of how miserable you were over some boy.

Seungcheol grimaced and set down a makeshift bed for the poor dog to lie on before turning to look at you with a concerned expression. “I think the latter, but you can be the judge of that. Now-” Cheol was cut off by your phone chiming and you turned to look at who on earth was texting you at one in the morning.

Your face turns pale as you look at the screen, and this automatically worries your brother, but his expression immediately hardens as he knows who it could be from.

“It’s from him isn’t it?” You nod slowly, the tears starting to fall from your eyes, dripping down your cheeks and onto the comforter you were on. Every word hit you like a ton of bricks, you felt helpless.

From: Chanie ^^

I think we need to break up. This relationship is holding me back and it’s starting to feel like a chore, I’m sorry I couldn’t do enough for you Y/n. I started to grow bored and you irritated me to no end, I don’t even think we would work even if we tried. This is my last goodbye to you, I’m sorry again that it had to end this way but I’m still young and feel like I’m not ready for something as serious as this.

You showed Seungcheol the message, only then realizing that your number was also blocked, preventing you from saying anything more. You were appalled, to say the least, your mouth hanging wide open as choked sobs started to come out slowly.

A year, a year went to waste with the person you thought would understand you best, the person you thought would hold your heart close to his, only for him to break it. The person who did the most and still managed to disappoint you.

Seungcheol held you close and you cried into his chest, Kkuma was suddenly on the bed licking your face and the world fell still at that exact moment. The moment you vowed to never trust anyone with your heart ever again.

You were a mess the rest of the semester following the text, crying on the couch the entire weekend as Seungcheol tried to console you, along with your oldest brother, but nothing worked.

You did go to class as normal, but you completely shut everyone out and limited socializing to only your family and friends until after finals.

Your break was coming up, and you were honestly relieved, to say the least. Bora was on the other side of the room getting ready to go home to see her family as well, packing up everything on her side in the process, but then you heard her huff as a pillow hit your head, interrupting the silence that was shared.

“What the fuck Kim?” You whined, taking the pillow and hugging it. Bora plants herself on the spot next to you, you look at her with a frown as she laughs.

“I’m gonna miss you roomie, but I’ll visit you often either way since you’re technically my best friend now. Now stop frowning, Chan was an idiot for breaking up with you. How you managed to get through the rest of the semester, I will never know, but you should go put yourself out there again! There’s bound to be another guy ready to treat you better, so stop moping ok? I know it’ll be hard, but I promise it’s not that bad. Have a bit of fun with it,” You pout at Bora’s words.

She was right, but the breakup over a text fiasco left you traumatized. Chan wasn’t the best boyfriend, and you both had your moments, but you weren’t ready to trust someone again just yet.

What if it ends the same way, or even worse? What if you were too boring? Questions swirl through your mind but Bora snaps you out of it.

“Hey, take it easy. Let’s hang out over break, just us girls showing Chan what he’s missing out on! Can you believe he left you? You’re a gem Y/n, a lot more people want you than you think. Now hurry up and pack the rest of your things!” You take in Bora’s words and nod.

It would be hard, but taking baby steps and meeting new people wouldn’t hurt. No rushing into serious connections just yet.

When you got home that day, you were happy enough to lay on your bed once again, all worries and concerns gone for the next few months. Suddenly, you hear a knock at the door and see Seungcheol walking in. You raise your eyebrow at him and your brother chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I was wondering if maybe we can hang out? Like all of your friends and mine,” Seungcheol looks down and plays with his fingers nervously. You were confused by his proposal but urged him to continue.

“Look, I like Bora and Minghao has this huge crush on Hyewon. Can you at least help us? Please? Look, I’ll take you shopping and even buy you food if I have to,” Your brother sounded like he was pleading almost so you really couldn’t help but feel bad.

“Cheol it’s ok, I’ll take you up on the shopping, now give me a date so I can tell the girls.” You smiled softly. Seungcheol punches the air and you laugh at his antics, you knew Bora also had the biggest crush on him so setting them up would be a breeze. Hyewon was a mystery you had yet to uncover though.

“I barely know your friends though, like I’ve met Jeonghan but who the hell is Minghao and how does he know about Hyewon?” Seungcheol lies down beside you on the bed and opens his phone, showing you a picture of him and three other guys.

Seungcheol then starts pointing out the two new faces to you. The lean and prince-looking one was Minghao and the tall, puppy-looking guy was named Mingyu. You couldn’t help but pay more attention to Mingyu, he was really attractive and you wanted to get to know him.

“Anyways, they’re the two new people in my frat. They’re super cool and like-” “Are you gonna bring Mingyu?” You cut him off mid-sentence, still in awe at Mingyu. Seungcheol’s brows knit and he rolls his eyes at you whilst you stick your tongue out at him.

“What happened to not dating? Come on Y/n, be serious,” You slap your brother’s face jokingly, the male screaming dramatically from beside you.

You didn’t want to get your heart broken again, but putting yourself out there wouldn’t hurt, as long as it didn’t get too serious, you were going to be ok.

“Shut up, it’s not like it’s gonna be a super serious thing just yet. Mingyu looks like a total hottie, I just wanna get to know him, have a little fun and get a bit of attention again,” You were ass at lying, so Seungcheol could only laugh at you.

“I trust you with him, Mingyu’s a very easygoing guy if that’s important to you. He’s also super single because he’s waiting for the right person,” he smirks at you.

Easygoing? And he’s waiting for the right person? On top of all that he’s cute and your brother trusts him with you? It sounded too good to be true.

You were happy for a moment, but doubts started to cloud your judgment once again. He sounded like a good guy, but how long until he turns into Chan and gets bored of you? It was starting to scare you again.

“Cheol, I don’t know-” Your brother gives you a serious look and sits up.

“I hope you understand that he’s not Chan, Y/n. Not all relationships are going to be like your last unless you try to take that leap. I promise you, he’s not a bad guy. Like, if he hurts you, I’ll hurt him because you mean a lot to me” You nod at Seungcheol, finally thinking positively and securely.

Not everyone is going to be like Chan, you knew that, but your memories and feelings for the boy held you back.

“Now, how does nineteenth sound?” Your brother asks you. You text your friends, immediately getting the green light from the three of them, Bora sounding the most excited.

“Perfect, and your girlfriend is just as excited as you are,” Cheol’s face turns a deep red before he runs out of your room in embarrassment, yelling about something along the lines of planning the perfect outfit. You guessed it was probably to impress Bora anyway, so you didn’t question him.

The silence of your room welcomes you once again and you are back into your thoughts. Mingyu sounded like a guy who would take someone seriously, maybe it’s just what you needed because guys your age didn’t have that much to go off of.

He was Seungcheol approved, and you told yourself that a million times, only because he hadn’t approved of anyone else but Mingyu. Chan could get past your parents and oldest brother, but not Cheol, so it was an odd situation to be in.

“I’ll figure it out later, right now, I need to sleep.” You put your phone off to the side and close your eyes.

Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure everything out once the nineteenth rolls around, both Seungcheol and Bora did say similar things, so maybe those two had a point. ‘No wonder they like each other, they’re the same person,’ you thought as the sleep took over.

Two days had passed and the dreaded day had rolled around much quicker than you had anticipated. As you put on light makeup, your friends are in the background screaming at each other throughout the entirety of your Facetime call because you all decided that it was a good idea to get ready together.

“Bora, it’s Seungcheol! He’s like Y/n’s male version so you don’t need to freak out that much! Now Y/n, show us the fit. You’re the only one who didn’t show us yet!” Hyewon whined over the phone.

“I’m wearing a gray long-sleeved, asymmetrical knit top, black skirt, and combat boots. For hair, I’m leaving it down and wavy, I don’t care much,” You say softly.

The girls suddenly burst out laughing as you put on your outfit, they didn’t seem to believe you one bit when you said you didn’t care because they knew you genuinely did care and tried not to.

“Guys come on, Mingyu is approved by my brother! How can I not care? I know I’m still scared because of the whole Chan fiasco but can you blame me?” Your friends hum in agreement until you hear the door behind you open.

“Y/n— Are you calling your friends right now? We’re leaving in a minute because Mingyu’s driving so hurry your ass up will you. Also hi Bora! Hi Hyewon and Chaeyoung,” Seungcheol grins stupidly.

You roll your eyes at your brother for obviously singling Bora out and tell your friends that you are going to see them in a bit.

“Bye, Y/n! Have fun looking at your new boy toy driving, already a huge upgrade from Chan!” Wonyoung laughs.

You end the Facetime call with a roll of your eyes before turning to look at Seungcheol with an eyebrow raised. Seungcheol puts his hands up defensively before you both hear a car honking outside.

“Mingyu’s here, grab your bag, and let’s go!” You huff as your brother rushes you, he was practically itching to see his crush, and embarrassingly enough, you too were excited to meet Mingyu and Minghao.

With your bag in hand, along with your phone, you finally follow Cheol outside and see a Range Rover of the latest model in black. Damn, Mingyu was in a different league that was for sure.

Seungcheol opens the door for you as you head in. You see Jeonghan riding shotgun and Wonwoo in the back smiling at you. “Y/n! So happy to see you again, I think this is your first time meeting Mingyu and Minghao,” Jeonghan says from the front.

You squeeze in the center comfortably and nod. Wonwoo was cute, he greeted you politely and was very friendly, but when your eyes met Mingyu’s, you suddenly became quite flustered. He held a sharp gaze, the watch on his wrist not helping you in the slightest.

“The shopping center downtown right?” Seungcheol nods at Mingyu’s words, his deep voice causing you to flush. You prayed to whoever was up there that you would at least survive the day because the tension in the car with him was enough to drive you nuts.

“So Y/n, how’s that thing with Chan?” You freeze up when Jeonghan suddenly brings up your ex, but you forget not everyone knew about the devastating breakup over text.

“We broke up over text...” You reply awkwardly. Jeonghan gasps as your brother runs his palm down his face, he knew better than anyone not to bring up Chan during the time you were still trying to move on.

“Hyung, give her a break. Sounds like it must’ve been rough, I’m sorry about that. He seems like a shitty guy, breaking up with you over text? Are you sure this isn’t a sitcom Y/n?” Mingyu speaks up as he looks at you from the rearview mirror. You feel your cheeks heat up slightly, nodding in embarrassment, but for some reason, you were shocked upon hearing Mingyu’s words.

Wow, he really picked Chan apart in a way you wouldn’t ever dare to. His bluntness snapped you right back to reality and you could hear Minghao chuckle from beside you. “What’s so funny?” You raise a brow at the boy.

“Mingyu hasn’t been this disheartened over anything in a while, it’s crazy that he’s already scrutinizing your ex based on how you broke up,” Minghao explains. Mingyu glares at him and huffs, looking so done and just ready to explain himself.

“Listen, in my personal opinion, I think breaking up with a long-term partner over text is stupid and a cowardly move. There were so many other ways he could have gone about it but over text? At least call or something instead, it’s super disrespectful towards your partner to leave them hanging without proper closure.” Your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets upon hearing the reason behind his agitation.

So far, Mingyu was seriously proving you wrong the more he opened his mouth to say something, but you still weren’t ready because what if he’s even worse? The feeling still lingers and it’s almost like the ghost of your ex is not letting you go just yet.

“Mingyu’s right, I thought you both had something to be fair. Seeing how puppy love was just a phase makes me think I was quite wrong, you deserve better. Like Mingyu here for example! He’s very single and is looking for the right person, which could be you.” Jeonghan jokingly says.

You notice Mingyu’s ears turn red as he pulls into the shopping center. The car was suddenly filled with an awkward silence, everyone stunned at the oldest’s proposition. You and Mingyu had just met, what was he on about with you being his possible partner? It was crazy.

After Mingyu had parked his car, you all made your way toward your designated meeting spot. You could see Cheol and Minghao freeze up upon seeing Bora and Hyewon, causing a laugh to make its way out of your throat.

“Y/n! Over here!” The girls beckoned you over as you purposely ran in their direction to tease the guys.

It was a day to bring them together was it not? Yet you still took the opportunity to tease the boys as you wished. It was pretty funny to look at their reactions knowing they liked your friends.

“Hi guys, I brought Cheol and Jeonghan. The newbies are Minghao and, Mingyu” You say with a pause. Your friends squeal wildly at the mention of Mingyu’s name, shoving you with their elbows as you all laugh.

“Minghao is so cute actually, is he single by any chance?” Hyewon smirks, eyeing the male up and down.

You giggle and nod, your friend had no idea that the said boy was here for her, which made your job of setting them up much easier. Your work was basically cut out for you the moment they laid their eyes on each other.

“Oh don’t worry, you’ll know in a bit. For now, let’s all focus on having fun today shall we?” You sling your hand over Bora’s shoulder, not noticing Mingyu’s intense stare at your form. Seungcheol and Jeonghan notice the action, causing the two of them to nudge the boy playfully.

“Bro, go shoot your shot. There’s so much tension between the two of you, I hope you know that” Cheol laughs.

Mingyu shakes his head at his words profusely, there was no way he was going to overstep a boundary, even if it was Seungcheol himself encouraging it.

You notice the boys talking amongst themselves but decide to shrug it off, they were probably planning their moves on your friends, but how do you tell them that they didn’t even need to try that much? They all seemed to like each other after all.

Between Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s continuous pestering, Mingyu had felt your gaze on them, causing his cheeks to grow hot. You were really pretty, and that goes without saying, but you had just gotten out of something long-term.

The time needed to heal you first, or at least that’s what he thought, since his mom had always taught him to be patient with the ones he loved or cared about.

“Give her time guys, I don’t think I can just rush in like that. Y/n came out of a slightly traumatizing event, so if you jump right in, it will only push the person away further. I should be friends with her at most while we’re still getting to know each other,” Mingyu makes eye contact with you and notices how you quickly avoid his eyes.

The day had gone by quite smoothly since then, each of you dispersing into little pairs after a while because your friends couldn’t seem to help themselves, which is what led you to where you were now. In a store, with Mingyu, picking out clothes for him to try on.

You had nothing better to do anyway, so why not style your brother’s hot friend, even though Mingyu himself already had impeccable fashion taste?

You bite your lip as you focus on the outfit, visualizing what it would look like on Mingyu, and how you could coordinate everything.

Mingyu thought it was adorable with how much thought and focus you had decided to put in when you were only doing this for fun, he ultimately decided to buy the outfit once he was done trying it on.

“Here, sorry I took so long. I haven’t styled anyone since my ex and my older brother, so this is the best you’re gonna get for now,” You handed him the items in your arms and pushed him toward the fitting rooms, eager to see how well you did.

“It’s no problem because you did put the time and effort into styling me, I might go ahead and buy it if it does end up being my style,” Mingyu smiles at you softly.

He was sweet, you had to admit. It wasn’t like Chan had noticed you putting effort into styling him so a little affirmation made your heart swell.

“You don’t have to, I kind of play around with it. I bet you will look good since you seem like you’d look good in anything” You admit shyly.

Mingyu was fun to be around, even if it was your first time meeting, you already felt as if you had known the man for a while. All around Mingyu was just considerate and one of the best people you could’ve ever met.

“Yeah, sure you do, I know you put a lot more effort either way. Let me try this on now, otherwise, I’d be too distracted looking into your eyes. Give me a minute and I’ll show you how it looks,” You nod as Mingyu closes the curtain, only then taking in what he had said to you. He was not being serious but was so smooth with how he flirted with you just now.

A minute had gone by and you heard Mingyu call your name, so you made your way over, only to find your heart nearly falling out of your ass the moment you saw him. He looked so good, great even, and you couldn’t help but stare.

Mingyu adorned a white shirt underneath a black zip-up jacket, adding detail by zipping up the bottom of it, and light-wash jeans. It was a really simple outfit, but you had to admit, he did tie the whole look together.

“How does it look? I think you did well honestly, I’ll buy the entire outfit right now. Let me go change so we can go meet up with the others,” Mingyu smiles.

You were amazing at what you did, it impressed him how you were able to pull such an outfit together in just a few minutes.

“I think it looks great, I’m flattered you like it so much that you’d buy it right now. Maybe I can style you again if there is a next time?” You reply shyly. You couldn’t meet Mingyu’s eyes because he looked so good.

From that moment on, Mingyu made it his mission to heal your heart and prove to you that you deserved a second chance at being treated better.

He had come to your house quite often and taken you out a few times, so much to the point that everyone around you started noticing that you were almost always with each other.

“You know what, this is the happiest I’ve seen you. Your relationship with Chan started to strain and you had become more dull and miserable, but being around Mingyu gave you a new kind of glow for some reason,” Chaeyoung quips.

You tilt your head in confusion, you liked his company but you hadn’t noticed any other changes.

“He’s great, but I’m still hesitant. You know how I am, as I get he’s not Chan, but who knows how everything would play out in the long run?” You say sadly.

Mingyu was more than amazing, he respected your wishes not to have a relationship, but still treated you in ways people could only dream of, but in his words, he was ‘courting’ you, something people don’t do much these days.

He was attentive, took care of you well, and would always be there for you no matter what. He truly was the real definition of being ‘one call away’. This was all so new to you, even being courted was something totally out of the ordinary.

“Y/n, he’s courting you. Not enough people willingly do that these days, so you have the guy wrapped around your finger. He’s patiently waiting for an answer from you, like do you remember everything you’ve told us?” Hyewon huffs out from above you as she is doing your hair.

It was girl’s night and you had decided to bring up your worries and updates to your friends, but you had forgotten the fact that you had also told them the details about your escapades with Mingyu.

From where you would go to what you did, down to the time he took you home, and if Seungcheol truly did approve of him.

“Did Chan ever actually think about how you felt in a certain situation? You know besides you telling him it’s ok and all? Usually being together with someone for over a year would allow you to read them better, but Chan barely knew your little habits. Bora took them in after a month of knowing you, which is concerning. Now on to Mingyu, what did he say that one time?” Chaeyoung snaps her fingers and you instantly know what she is talking about.

You came home one day and had gone the whole day without eating. You were out with your parents and they hadn’t considered if you were hungry or not since they were busy and had already eaten, so when you got home, you quietly slipped next to Mingyu in the living room after seeing the guys watching a movie.

“Hey, you’re home. How was spending the day with your parents?” Mingyu whispers from beside you. You shrug and he gives you a look that encourages you to tell him more.

“I hadn’t eaten anything, but honestly it’s ok now since I’m not hungry at all…” You trail off.

Mingyu shakes his head and takes his phone out, but you go over to stop him. He shouldn’t spend anything on you, and you already told him you weren't hungry so you felt as if you were only bothering him.

“Are you sure you’re not hungry?” You see your favorite restaurant on the delivery app on his phone and blush. Did he remember your favorite restaurant and order? That was sweet of him.

“No it’s ok I can manage,” You pretended not to see him already inputting the order and paying for it, but you still couldn’t help it when your stomach growled loudly. Mingyu raises a brow at you as you chuckle awkwardly.

“I’m getting you food, I know you’re hungry” Mingyu laughs. You hit his shoulder but thanked him gratefully for even thinking of you, it was a small gesture but it still meant a lot.

“How about that time he got you flowers for no reason?” Bora says while laughing.

You roll your eyes, she was the first person you had freaked out to over the phone because Mingyu had gotten you a bouquet of roses on a random Thursday with Seungcheol.

“What’s this?” You ask as Mingyu sets down a bunch of fresh roses wrapped in brown paper on the counter in front of you. Cheol and Mingyu had just gotten back from grocery shopping for your mom and then Mingyu came back with flowers, of course, you would be confused.

“I got you flowers because we saw them on the way out, and I thought you'd like them” Mingyu started taking out the groceries from the bags as your brother walked in with the last batch from the car. You flick Cheol’s forehead, but the older male can only smirk and laugh at you.

“Why? There’s no occasion,” You try to excuse, but you couldn’t hide how flustered you were.

Mingyu had thought of you while they were out? He did mean it when he said he wanted to treat you better.

“Can I not get you flowers even if there’s no occasion? Y/n, you don’t need to ask or have a reason to receive flowers, I hope you know that. I’m surprised this hadn’t been done for you more often than not” Mingyu’s back was still turned toward you, which you were thankful for because you probably looked like a tomato at that moment.

That night poor Bora had to endure an earful from you, just because Mingyu was a great guy who treated you the way you deserved.

Thinking back at those moments, you could only see the good in Mingyu, so you wanted your friends’ approval. He was already brother and parent-approved so that only left your best friends.

“Well, do you guys think I should finally give him an answer? It’s been a few months, and even if I am scared, I can’t let this chance go.” Hyewon finishes up your hair and pats your head, signaling her answer. You look at the others, who only grin back at you and you laugh.

“Y/n, he’s been a green flag since the beginning. It’s a good opportunity knowing he’s the type that’s ready to settle down,” Bora also brings up.

Seungcheol had always emphasized that Mingyu was a date-to-marry and long-term relationship kind of guy, which makes sense as to why you were one of the first people he had ever been super serious with when it came to dating.

“You guys are always the best, I’m glad everyone around me approves. I mean, I won’t know until I try right?” Chaeyoung hugs you and you sigh in content.

You were finally moving on, you were finally healing. It felt fulfilling in a sense, and knowing you were finally starting a new chapter with a great person, you felt as though your life was finally turning out for the better.

After a chaotic girls’ night, you had called up Mingyu to meet you at your favorite cafe that the two of you frequented. You were quite nervous, to say the least, but you were ready to take this huge step of moving on with the person who treated you right.

You hear the bell of the cafe chime, and you finally see the person you were expecting. Mingyu walked in, his hair down in its usual state, and in a casual but comfortable outfit.

He looked like he had just come from the gym. Your heart raced at how good he looked, he always did look his best whenever he came to see you, and you always appreciated the effort.

Mingyu spots you and walks over with a wide smile. He was always so damn charming, you couldn’t believe he was all yours. He pulls out the seat in front of you and plops on it, his attention fully on you. ‘Attentive as always, I don’t deserve you,’ you thought.

“You wanted to talk?” Mingyu finally breathes out upon seeing you. You nod and take his hands in yours, you were going to tell him how you finally felt because he deserved an answer. He had already done so much for you, the least you could do was show him that all his efforts were finally paying off.

“I think I’m ready to give you my answer. The past few months you had decided to court me and I’m thankful you were patient enough to wait for my answer. You’ve proved to me that relationships aren’t limited to how I and my ex went about ours and that if a guy wanted to do something, he would. So my answer is already set, I’ll be your girlfriend, Gyu.” You look up at him, only to see Mingyu grinning like an idiot.

He was elated, he finally got the answer he was waiting for and you saying yes only made it a hundred times better. Mingyu fully understood how much your last relationship had affected you, so he only made it a point to court you, knowing you weren’t ready for a commitment just yet.

He wanted you to be ready for him to love you and treat you the way you deserved, so he didn’t push it and waited for you to come around on your own, which you did.

“You have no idea how happy and relieved I am to hear you say that. Y/n, I’m so glad you gave me the chance to love you and care for you. I’m glad you gave me the chance to prove myself to you. I promise I will not hurt you in any way at all, and I promise to be as communicative as possible with my feelings so that you don’t end up in the dark. I want you to know everything because you deserve it,” Mingyu admits, not breaking his gaze on you.

“Mingyu, you’re everything I could’ve ever asked for. I don’t know what else to say. The past few months I’d been so scared to love again, to give a relationship another chance, but you’ve proved me wrong and even waited for me to be ready. You don’t understand how much that means to me,” You continue to fidget with his hands, but then he suddenly takes yours and places a kiss on your knuckle.

You blush at the action, you weren’t used to feeling or receiving this kind of affection since it had been quite some time, but with Mingyu, you weren’t afraid of anything, because you trusted him as much as he trusted you.

Needless to say, even months after you had given Mingyu an answer, he remained the same and still acted like he was courting you.

The only difference? He was finally your boyfriend and you were finally his girlfriend. You felt how serious he was about you when he had even introduced you to his parents, and they were just as lovely as their son was.

“Mom wants to go shopping with us on her birthday this weekend, I told her I would take her on a birthday date but she insisted you come along. She loves you that much already,” Mingyu chuckles as he walks into your room, fresh out of the shower. You laugh, his mom was the sweetest person, and you finally understand where your boyfriend gets it from.

“I’m down if she’d like, but you’re not getting me anything ok? You already spoil me enough and I don’t want you to spend too much–” You squeal as you feel Mingyu’s arms around you, the two of you falling flat on the bed.

Before you two could move from your position, you heard a knock at your door. It was Seungcheol, and you immediately pulled away from Mingyu once you saw him, still flustered and embarrassed from the previous action.

“Hey, if you two are going to be in the house, at least have some decency while I’m here!” Your brother whines.

You laugh and see him let Kkuma in the room. She had been with Cheol the whole day, so you and your siblings usually took turns spending time with the dog. You were the sibling in Kkuma’s night shift, meaning you had to take the dog in for the night since she liked sleeping in your room.

You thank Cheol for letting Kkuma in and bid your brother goodnight. Once the door closed, you looked over to see your boyfriend on the floor with Kkuma laying on her back.

“Hey, that’s my dog! Kkuma, you can’t just steal my boyfriend like that, and Gyu you can’t just do that to my child!” You joke. They looked perfect, and suddenly you start to imagine what your little family with Mingyu would look like.

Mingyu was the perfect partner to settle with, after all, he was caring and dependable, but also super honest and was not afraid to show or express how he felt. He just knew whenever you weren’t up to do something, or if something was bothering you.

“Is something wrong?” Mingyu noticed that you were more quiet than usual today because you almost always told him about your day. He noticed how your smile hadn’t reached your eyes and how you were fidgeting with your fingers more.

“It’s nothing” You tried to brush it off, but truthfully, you weren’t doing well. You just didn’t have the strength to let him know or the strength to explain how you felt, all you wanted to do was rest and go to sleep.

“Y/n, you can tell me anything ok? Be as open as you want to be, I’m always here for you and will not judge you no matter what. If you don’t have the energy to tell me, it’s ok. Just rest here” You feel his arms being wrapped around you as he strokes your hair. The action was small but it helped you ease up a lot.

“It’s hard Gyu, I don’t know how to deal with everything. I don’t have the energy to stress over anything right now,” You whisper. Mingyu rocks you back and forth, still playing with your hair as he places kisses on your forehead.

“Whatever it is you’re going through, I hope you know that I’m proud enough that you decide to wake up every day and do everything with a smile, even if the world has wronged you. you’re so brave and amazing Y/n, please do not ever doubt yourself” Mingyu replies softly.

“Gyu, you don’t understand how much your words have helped me” You kiss him softly. You felt so lucky to have him, he was beyond the best partner you had ever been blessed with.

“Mingyu, could I ask you something?” You say suddenly. The two of you were at his parent’s place since Mingyu had decided to take you to his childhood home in Anyang as a gift for your four-month anniversary.

“Mhm?” He hummed, putting down a plate of food on the coffee table in the living room, and sitting next to you on the couch.

“Why haven’t we said I love you to each other at any point in our relationship just yet? The others have asked me about it, but I just can’t come up with an answer to get them to leave me alone,” you whine. Mingyu laughs and kisses your cheek gently.

“Tell them that saying I love you isn’t easy when it comes to us, you haven’t said it either so we’re simply making sure that I can say it when the time is right. It’s not that I don’t or anything, but those words aren’t exactly an easy thing to just pop out there. The time will come when we can both say it meaningfully. Right now, we are still early into our relationship and have a lot to learn. I hope you understand where I’m coming from” he tells you.

It wasn’t that hard to understand what he meant. Mingyu had always been more careful, even if he didn’t say I love you, he still affirmed you and expressed his love for you in his actions.

Loving someone still comes in many forms, so the words I love you could wait because they should come from a place where you both fully understand and can comprehend how meaningful the three words are.

“I honestly think the same way, in a sense, I’m glad you’re honest about how you feel because I’ve been in a place wherein I was pressured into doing the action just because it was normal for everyone else, but not all of us are the same. Thank you, Gyu, you’re always the best with words.” Mingyu holds you close and you both sigh in content.

He wanted to treat you better, and he did. He wanted to show you better, and he expressed it in the best way possible.

158 notes · View notes

alcorian-cycle · 7 months

Text

So, I just want to say something real quick about Wilbur Soot and the expectation fans have of all his friends to come out and immediately make statements and drop him. I particularly want to talk about Tommy because i see parallels between his relationship with Wilbur and my relationship with an adult who made me feel responsible for his wellbeing. I am not saying that their relationship is like this, just that based on what we've seen it could be, and we should be prepared to be empathetic and understanding to Tommy in case it is like this.

So some background. Starting at 13 or 14, I had a friend in his thirties who made me feel responsible for his mental health. I won't go into great detail, but I was constantly reassuring him and trying to keep him from killing himself, which was something he gave me multiple scares about. He would disappear and not respond to messages for days or weeks after posting suicide notes on his tumblr... but he was fine every time, just stepping away. Still, it scared me every time, and I felt like I hadn't been doing a good enough job helping him be happy.

I was friends with him from 13 to 16 and I felt responsible not just for his happiness, but his life.

It was so difficult to end that friendship that it took him blocking me multiple times before i could accept that he wasn't my responsibility anymore.

I defended him, let him get away with shit, let him have way more power over my life and beliefs and relationships than he should have. Because i was so toxically attached to him and believed what he told me, I seriously hurt my best friend in the whole world and I will never be able to fully express how sorry I am for it.

I'm saying this because there is evidence that Wilbur and Tommy's relationship contains similar dynamics. Wilbur has said that he relies on Tommy for his mental health. They met when Tommy was, what, 15? That's not healthy. Wilbur is an adult. I've also heard that Tommy has had to talk Wilbur down from suicide. This is extremely similar to what I experienced, and as much as it discomforts me to be seriously speculating about two ccs' relationship off-camera, I can't help but see the strong similarities to my story.

And Shelby's story corroborates this kind of behavior from Wilbur. She also was made to feel like Wilbur relied on her. For Shelby it was about his living situation--she felt like he needed her to take care of him, like he was too traumatized or depressed to take care of his own house and affairs, and if she stopped doing it it just wouldn't get done. And because she is a kind person, she didn't want to leave him like that.

This kind of behavior traps the victim in a relationship with the abuser by making them feel guilty if they try to leave or even distance themselves. It makes the victim feel like they cant hurt or go against the abuser in any way, for fear of blood on their hands, literal or metaphorical. It drives you to defend them, to try to stay by their side even as they prove themselves a terrible person.

So if Tommy isn't immediate and decisive in dropping Wilbur, I think we should be understanding. In these sorts of manipulative relationships, its really hard to speak badly of the abuser, and its hard to accept when others say they're abusive. That's an aspect of the abuse.

It took me until I was 13 to even be consciously aware of my mom doing this to me, and I only became aware of that "friend" doing it when I hadn't spoken to him in years.

This is the sort of thing that is VERY difficult to process and navigate and I think we should give Tommy, and other people close to Wilbur, some grace in navigating it. They should still drop him, but I think we should let them take some time because dropping an abuser who acts like this is very difficult, and they make it so on purpose.

#alv posts #wilbur soot #wilbur situation #abuse cw

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strawberrystepmom · 9 months

Text

to forgive is divine & to err is human

pairing: Natsuo Todoroki x F!Reader (romantic), Touya Todoroki x F!Reader (familial)

word count: 7.5k

about: when Touya is released to Natsuo’s care following his 8 year prison stay, the fragility of the dynamic between the three of you threatens to derail everyone involved.

contents: cw: contains descriptions of depression, trauma, smoking, bad coping mechanisms, alcoholism, Touya dyes his hair black in a white sink (ugh). angst with a happy ending, set in canon universe but not canon compliant, established relationship between Natsuo and reader (married), Touya and reader are both assholes at certain points.

notes: tbh I've been meaning to repost this and since I'm currently in my "yes girl give us nothing" era, the time has come. Thank you to everyone (then and now) that has read this baby bc I did indeed put my ol' Kendussy into it so I didn't really change anything about it other than fixing grammar and I'm sure there are still mistakes. This is is how I wrote a year ago and that's okay and I'm proud of how far I've come.

Posting this as a double feature bc it feels too idk self promo-y to split them up again so enjoy my creature feature with my beloved Natsuo and his stinky brother. chain divider thanks to @/cafekitsune ♡

The large, red letters across the paperwork make your eyes hurt by simply gazing at them.

“RELEASED” stamped with what you can tell was a mostly dried out ink pad, the red darker at the beginning of the word than at the end. You wish you could close the growing pit in your stomach knowing Natsuo will soon arrive back to your home, rehabilitated brother in tow, but the uncertainty makes it hard to settle as you re-stack the documents given to you by the Hero Public Safety Commission when they formally announced they would permit Touya’s release so long as someone would be responsible for him.

When the conversation came up, Natsuo volunteered without a second thought. It hurt at first that he did not ask you before making the decision but after having spent nearly a decade at his side, you trusted his judgment. Six months after the initial inquiry, you still do. Touya is a practical stranger, someone you have only met through grainy video chats, but you have been briefed by many HPSC coordinators. They have conducted home visits, interviewed both of you as if you were the criminals, combed through every bank account and piece of mail to ensure that they are putting their inmate into good hands. A good word from Endeavor, something your husband reluctantly accepted, sealed the decision. Your eyes scan over the handwritten letter from Enji, tucked in the stack of documents.

“No one is more qualified to care for his brother Touya than my son Natsuo. He is a licensed medical professional, specializing in psychology and mental health services and has experience in dealing with traumatized children. I ask that the Commission consider no other placement for Touya.”

A tired sigh escapes as you flip through a few more pages, squinting through descriptions of you and Natsuo. Your personalities, your hobbies, where you work, who you associate with - all vital information, the panel assured you. The final page of the documents has the official ruling, the top left corner of the page curled in from how many times the pair of you have read over it.

“Todoroki Touya, thirty two years of age, is to be released to the custody of his brother Todoroki Natsuo, twenty eight years of age. Todoroki will be required to wear a location monitoring device at all times per the agreed upon terms of release. He is not permitted to be in contact with any of his prior associates. If contact is initiated, he will be required to return to the custody of the HPSC immediately and will no longer be eligible for release.”

Your eyes scan the document again and again, searching for some kind of strange loophole that could prevent all of this from happening. Guilt crawls up your spine and makes you shudder at the thought. How could you not want this for your husband? He has spent years dreaming of having a second chance to love his brother differently, to help him heal. It makes you feel vile to even entertain negative thoughts about Touya.

Touya. You know little about the man aside from his name, or names, rather. His time as Dabi concluded, he was sentenced to 8 years of rehabilitation instead of prison. A victim of child abuse needed recovery, the commission reasoned, and they were willing to give him the space to do so within reason. The entire Todoroki family agreed with and supported the commission and their decision, his siblings and parents being granted permission to visit him if they chose to do so.

Natsuo went as frequently as possible, excitedly telling you how much his brother has improved after every visit, eagerness infectious. You listened to his every word, rapt, as he talked about how different Touya looked now that he was eating well, how far he had come, how he seemed emotionally stable for the first time in his life. Genuine excitement danced in his eyes at the thought of having his brother back, not a shell of a boy or a man. Not Dabi but Touya, someone who was cruelly taken from him when he was too young to fully understand why.

The true agony was seeing the metaphorical stitches ripped open, cruelly and callously. The entire country was witness to the explosive truth - Touya Todoroki was alive. Even Fuyumi with her limitless poise gnawed her lower lip hoping it would ground her enough that she could stay strong for everyone else. “I can handle this,” she assured you as you wrapped your arms around her shoulders the day after the video aired. She knew the person who would need you the most was her brother. Looks were deceiving - Natsuo was big and strong, a grown man, but his feelings were delicate. She trusted no one but you to look after him.

Natsuo had only asked you to be his girlfriend weeks before his brother revealed his true identity publicly. You will never forget the way grief was etched into all of his features, his strong brow downturned for weeks; retraumatized. It took every ounce of strength in his body to muster a smile, much less anything else, but he did it. For Fuyumi and Shouto, for his mother.

You can remember every moment of the years following Touya revealing himself. The nights when Natsuo woke up sobbing, burying his face into your chest and balling the fabric of your shirt up between his fists as if it would keep him from losing touch with reality completely. He stopped eating for days at a time, depression sinking him into depths he didn’t know existed. You were always there with a soothing touch and okayu, a rice porridge Fuyumi taught you to make for him.

“When Touya died, it’s all he would eat,” she explained. Your heart crumbled at the thought of a 13 year old version of your beloved future sister in law having to keep her 9 year old brother moving through the pain of loss. How did they keep themselves together?, you wondered more than once as she breezed through the difficult times with a tight smile.

The more you watched the man you love sink, the more conflicted you felt about Touya. Those feelings lingered even into today. Natsuo is healing, therapy and love and compassion all coming together to create a whole man instead of pieces of a hurt child in a big body, but you can’t help the simmering anger you feel when you think about watching him experience the hurt in real time. Some memories stay etched forever.

Natsuo continued to live despite the difficult times. You helped him study and make his way through medical school - a feat that he often credited you wholly for. It wasn’t true but the praise always feels good. Three years after Touya was sentenced, Natsuo opened his clinic that offers a variety of therapeutic services for children with difficult quirks or those who have suffered because of them. A year after that the two of you were married.

“I knew you were the one when you gave me a reason to keep trying,” he tearfully admitted as you exchanged vows during your small wedding ceremony. The details weren’t for everyone else to know, but the pair of you knew exactly what he was talking about and the admission still makes you feel weepy if you start to think about it for too long.

Love feels like too shallow of a word to explain how you feel about him which is why you agreed to this in the first place - your love for Natsuo is stronger than your distaste toward Touya. You remind yourself of the mantra as you hear voices outside of your front doorstep, one immediately recognizable as belonging to Natsuo. You stand and take a deep breath, composing yourself and closing the file folder on the table as the door opens and the two white haired men crowd into the small genkan, talking amongst each other.

“We’re here!”

A practiced, measured smile is what you can manage as you watch the situation carefully. Touya scratches the back of his head and offers a small and impersonal wave and you’re surprised by how different he looks. Thin but healthy, his skin grafts have been properly secured, his lashes are the same white as the ones that frame your husband's kind, gray eyes. The similarities between the two are striking but so are the differences - Natsuo greets you with a smile and a peck on your forehead and Touya glowers from the doorway.

“Welcome home, Touya,”

He looks around, eyes narrowed as he takes in the sights of your well lived in home. It reminded you eerily of the way the representatives from the commission sullied your safe place away slowly, searching every corner to make sure you would not enable any more bad behavior from the man standing in the doorway. Your home had only just begun to feel like yours again.

“Nice place. Guess that’s what being married to a doctor gets you.”

His crass comment made you feel stricken, flinching slightly as your practiced smile wavers. You aren’t Fuyumi, full of endless grace and forgiveness - you can’t fake it. You aren’t Natsuo who believes in the potential of people more than anyone you’ve ever met. You are you and right now you are angry. Clenching your fists in a way you hope is imperceptible, you fake a laugh and your husband looks at you with wide eyes, noticing your change in demeanor.

“Well, it’s your place too now. Guess that’s what being a doctor's brother gets you.”

Touya purses his lips and nods, arms folded across his chest. You look over his scars, his healed skin, his cold eyes. “Do you want to show him to his room, babe?” Natsuo asks, voice shaky, as if he’s anxious for your response. “I can find it myself,” Touya answers for you, heavy boots in his hands as he pads through your home toward where his room lies. You spent weeks helping Natsuo prepare it for him, filling it with photos and books to help him gain back the time he lost while he was away. The taste in your mouth is nothing short of bitter and sour as you think about it.

“I don’t know what that was about, I asked him no-,” you raise your hand, cutting your husband off mid sentence as your fake smile finally falls and gives way to a slight frown, corners of your mouth downturned. “Don’t worry about it.”

Touya has always felt suspicious of you. Your intentions, your affections for his brother, your involvement with his family - it’s hard not to be uncertain about someone who fits so flawlessly in the dysfunctional outline created by being a Todoroki. What are you hiding? What do you want?

He tosses his boots down on the floor of the room at the end of the hallway. Instinctually, he knows this is his space. Covered with childhood photos of the Todoroki family, a quilt he received as a child covering the bed, he wants to be impressed with the effort put in but instead he feels hollow. This life never fit him in the first place, happy smiles for photos and dinners and whatever the fuck was expected of him, and now he had no choice but to live it.

It is a hell of a lot nicer than the four white walls that housed him for eight long years. The bed looks a lot more comfortable, he thinks as he settles down on the edge of it, lying back with his arms behind his head. Fixing his gaze on the ceiling, he takes a moment to think in the silence of the space. The entire car ride his brother talked about you and your life together. Touya eventually began to tune him out, watching the trees pass by the window with the occasional red light flashing on his monitoring anklet catching his attention.

Rehabilitated. The connotations of the word weighed heavily on Touya - one fuck up and it would be so easy for you to convice Natsuo to send him back. You could never understand him the way that his family does. You couldn’t forgive him the way they had either, something both of you would never communicate to each other.

“Hey,” Natsuo’s voice rasps from the doorway and Touya sits up slightly, grunting his response. “You like it alright?”

“It’s fine.”

Natsuo sighs, carefully entering the room and shutting the door behind him as he slumps down on the bed next to his brother, shoulders sagging beneath the weight of the huge change that has come over his otherwise peaceful life. “You don’t have to lie, Touya.”

Touya sits up, using his elbows to support his weight, and offers a half smile toward his brother. “I’m not lyin’, it’s fine. Just feels like too much.”

Natsuo nods, trying to tamp down his urge to play therapist instead of brother. It was something he did all too often growing up and probably why he has made fixing people his mission in life. Touya was no exception.

“It’s the least we can do. You’ve been through a lot.”

We, Touya thinks to himself. Always we. He wonders how much Natsuo has surrendered of himself for your sake. Does he have any hobbies besides being a doting husband? Is his world filled with anything besides this little bubble the two of you live in?

“Don’t act like she had anything to do with all of this, Natsu. I was released to you.”

Touya slips a hand in his jacket pocket and fishes around for his pack of cigarettes, popping one out of the packaging with expert precision and sticking it between his lips as his brother sits next to him silently. “Lemme guess, need to do this outside?”

Natsuo nods and Touya sighs, sliding off of the bed and leaving a rumpled quilt behind him. Heavy footsteps trail down the hallway as he peers into the kitchen and notices the backdoor, quietly slipping through it only to be met with a glowing red cherry on the other side, smoke streaming from your mouth as you stand with a cigarette between your fingers.

“Didn’t take you for the type,” he starts, pulling his lighter from his pocket and clicking it until a bright flame catches the cigarette dangling from between his lips. Once upon a time he would’ve just used his quirk but the prescription blockers he was given by court order prevented that. “All he ever talks about is how perfect you are.”

“Looks can be deceiving,” you shoot back, flicking your cigarette ashes onto the ground below before taking another drag.

The mutual distrust permeated the air between the two of you. Touya reminded you so much of your father in law it was like looking at another version of him. You reminded Touya of everything he hated about this world - false pretense and unattainable perfection. He doubts you have ever walked around without a hair out of place, a Todoroki would never.

“Any other deep dark secrets I should know before being trapped inside of this house with you 24 hours a day?”

You chuckle, dropping your cigarette on the ground and stomping it out, bending to pick up the butt once you’re done.

“Your brother won't let me drink anymore,” you start, hoping the vulnerability warms your brother in law. His steely gaze convinces you otherwise and you begin to walk away, arms folded over your chest with a cigarette butt in your fist. “Just another fun part of the aftermath of your little warpath.”

Touya knows he fired the first shots but he’s taken aback at your accusatory tone.

“Anything else you want to question me about? Figured the commission briefed you on all of my dirty laundry.”

He shakes his head and exhales smoke through the corner of his mouth, the plumes drifting in your direction. “Good chat, Touya.”

The back door slams as you enter your home through it, windows rattling slightly. Your first instinct is to pour a drink but the reminder of your rock bottom lingers on your mind as you instead toss your cigarette in the trash and turn down the hall and head to your bedroom, Natsuo sitting on the bed.

“Why does he hate me so much?”

You hate how hysterical your voice sounds, anxiety rising like bile. Rising to his feet, your husband gathers you against his chest and presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“Give him time, he’ll warm up.”

You don’t share your husband’s boundless optimism as you hear the back door slam and hear footsteps heading to the bedroom opposite yours. Natsuo plants another soft kiss atop your hair and squeezes your hand gently as he walks back over to Touya’s room.

“You alright?” Natsuo asks and Touya rolls his eyes, shrugging off his jacket and draping it across a hook on the back of the door. “Fine. Thanks for the concern.”

Natsuo slips through the door completely and closes it softly behind him, leaning against the solid wood.

“What happened out there?”

Touya chuckles and shrugs, sitting on the bed in the same place he had left. “Nothing worth mentioning. I’ll make sure I keep my bottles hidden from her though.”

His eyes widened, Touya’s antagonistic tone nothing new, his shock coming from the fact you told him about your struggles with substance abuse in the first place. It wasn’t a secret but it certainly wasn’t a fun fact you gave out at trivia night.

“Uh, yeah, thank you.” Natsuo fumbles through his words, unsure of the right thing to say. “That would be great. She has come a long way but there are still times that are difficult, especially when big changes occur.”

Your substance abuse issues began about a year after your marriage. Blissful happiness wasn’t enough to numb the intense pain of the years prior but copious amounts of whiskey while Natsuo was busy with work were good enough. Blind confidence convinced you he didn’t notice a thing, not your sunken eyes or decreased appetite, but he did and he confronted you as gently as he could.

The next day you started therapy of your own and have continued to go to meetings for others struggling with addiction since then. Nothing drastic has happened in your life since you quit drinking, calm falling over the Todoroki household, making it easier for you to maintain your wits.

He would never say it but Natsuo truly worried about your sobriety. Every time he left for a trip or wine was passed around at family dinner, he wondered if it would be the day you changed your mind. Sticking with you was easy, though. You did the same for him at his low point and he would never stop doing it for you.

“She smokes, you know that?”

Natsuo nods, Touya’s raspy voice breaking the silence caused by his brother’s overthinking. “Have to let her have one vice, you know?”

“I think you forget that you weren’t the only person who had to live through that fucking horrifying life! It didn’t just go away when you did.”

Your voice cracks as you raise it at your brother in law, his turquoise eyes wide as he watches you yell with an intensity that leaves your hands shaking. He has never looked more like your husband than he does now, the same white hair sticking up on top of his head, his fingers carding through it and yanking the strands as he paces your living room floor.

“There are times I don’t think you realize that your actions have always had consequences because you’ve truly faced so few of them,” you feel your face flame as Touya’s expression turns from surprised to angry. “You didn’t have to clean up the messes. I did.”

Seeing the similarities makes something inside of you crack, a piece of your heart perhaps, your chest heaving. Regret consumes your mind; you’ve gone too far. You struggle to catch your breath, rubbing your fingers over your cheeks to hide evidence of your tears. Silence blankets the room like a dense fog.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

Your voice sounds meek and thin even to your own ears, the screaming match you have been engaged in rendering your throat raw. Painfully, you swallow what little spit you can and shut your eyes tightly as you listen to Touya’s rhythmic footfalls. Taking a deep breath, you sink into an armchair and dab at your eyes with the back of your hands, opening them long enough to see Touya staring intently at you. You drop your hands and sigh.

“I can’t imagine what you have been through,” you hiccup, warm tears sliding down your cheek and dripping onto your wrists where they sit in your lap. “But you weren’t the only one going through it and I hope your brother can forgive me for saying all of this to you.”

The white haired man remains silent as you rise from your chair, hands balled into fists at your sides. Your gaze turns directly to him and you sniffle, tears subsiding.

“He has always loved you despite everything you’ve done, exactly as you are. Please remember that.”

The words feel cathartic to say aloud, astute eyes narrowing to watch you as you turn on your heel and begin to walk away. Your tense posture tells him exactly how you feel about the entire situation and you reason that giving Touya space seems like the best option to end the strange battle of wills the two of you have found yourselves in.

The gravelly sound of Touya’s voice from over your shoulder stops you in your tracks.

“Then I owe it to him to try.”

There is no apology to be found in the words but you swear you can feel it as he says them, looking over your shoulder. For the first time you don’t see Dabi or Touya, you see someone completely new - your brother in law. A blank canvas, someone you could perhaps get to know under better circumstances.

“We both owe it to him,” you respond as you turn around and make your way back to the chair you were sitting in moments ago, sitting stiffly against the back of the chair, shoulders still held tensely by your ears. “But how do we begin?”

Touya sighs and sits opposite you, rubbing his hands over his face as he rests his elbows on his knees.

“Hi, I’m Touya.” You laugh for the first time in a week and he can’t hide the half smile that comes across his face. “I did some fucked up things and spent eight years paying for them but I fucking love my family.” He stomps his foot, emphasizing his point. “That includes you now so we better get our shit together, yeah?”

Another tear falls as you nod, a watery smile settling over your features.

“Yeah, we should.”

A year later, when you think of your brother in law Touya, a memory from your childhood comes to your mind.

You are six, maybe seven and at the zoo. Your parents hold both of your hands dutifully to make sure you don’t run off, squeezing your tiny palms between theirs as you excitedly gasp and croon at birds, snakes, and butterflies. A flamingo makes you shout, a duck makes you quack.

Steps slow down as the three of you approach a large glass enclosure. “Black panther - panthera pardus” says the sign extending from the ground in front of the glass. You don’t know that, of course, until your dad reads it aloud to you, asking you to repeat the name.

“Panthera,” you repeat, a tiny voice bouncing back at you off of the glass.

As if you summoned the cat itself, it appears and you flinch. Black, lithe, wild eyed with muscles wound so tightly you can see the shape and size of each of them. You wonder if the panther knows how to relax, the same way your mom tells you to when you cry too hard. Maybe he needs to take a deep breath.

“Why does he look so nervous?”

In your young mind, the question surfaced before you had time to think about it. Of course he’s nervous, you reason, all of these people are staring at him like the attraction that he is. A dazzling thing to see locked between four glass walls.

“He isn’t nervous honey, he’s probably just thinking about what he would do if he were outside with us.”

Pondering your mom's polite whisper, you nod and accept the answer. Grown ups always know best anyway.

As a keeper enters the enclosure and carefully stalks toward the cat, your eyes widen in surprise. How can he let someone so close? You wonder if you could ever get that close to him. To see the sunlight in his fur just enough to reveal the spots under the dark of his coat or to watch his ears twitch as he listens for sounds of danger. Would he ever trust you? Could you trust him?

The crowd around the glass increases in size, delighted whoops as the keeper dangles the cleaned carcass of a large bird above the panther. You drink in the way he crouches and springs, tight muscles unwinding for a moment as large paws capture the food between them.

A sight you’ll never forget.

A sight you see as Touya stalks through the living room of your home, tightly running his fingers through his hair. Muscles taut, standing and walking but trying to simultaneously fold in on himself.

“What the fuck would they even want to talk about?”

You sigh, shrugging at his words. The “they'' in question is the Commission and one year after his monitored release, he has been asked to return before the panel and answer some questions. Natsuo sits next to you on the floor in front of the chabudai, sorting through the papers sent to him to review ahead of Touya’s scheduled meeting. The three of you only found out about the date today.

“I dunno, Touya,” your husband shoots a bit impatiently toward his brother. “Let me read this and then I’ll tell you.”

Silently, you watch as he scans the documents, flipping them between his fingers. You hear the heavy pounding of Touya’s footsteps across the floor, reverberating through the otherwise silent room. Your house is too quiet. There is no crowd to filter out the silence.

“Potential restoration of privileges,” you hear Natsuo mutter from beside you. He continues to read to himself and you wonder what that truly entails. Would Touya be released from his supervised period completely? Would he be allowed to wander more than 50 feet away from his guardians?

“God Natsu, read faster.”

Natsuo’s eyes shoot a frosty glance toward Touya from over the top of the papers in his hands. Placing them on the table, your husband sighs.

“They want to see your progress and maybe give you a little more freedom.”

Touya freezes in place for a mere second before turning on his heel and rushing to the edge of the table to snatch the documents and look over them, brows furrowed in concern that this is some evil trick the two of you have decided to pull on him. Revenge for the last twelve months of him and his fits, his angry words, his snarling.

You’ve realized during the months he’s more meow than he is hiss.

“But,” Natsuo starts, clearing his throat, Touya tossing the papers back on the table and interrupting his brother with a clear as day “fuck!”, beginning to pace once again. “We have to give testimony.”

The royal we is something Touya has hated since the day he moved into your home. It always makes him feel as if it’s two against one, no separation between yourself and Natsuo and how you feel about the situation. He assumes if you’re mad at him, his brother is too. If you’re frustrated with Touya drinking the last of your nice matcha, Natsuo must be too. If you’re angry at Touya for dying his hair black in your bathtub and staining the shiny white tiles, Natsuo must be too.

He’s wrong about that, of course, his brother never holding any of his minor blunders against him. You don’t either but it would be tougher to convince Touya to believe that than it would be to build a house by hand, despite the tentative peace that exists between the two of you. You’ve allowed him into your home, your world, your once peaceful little family and have found that you are better for it. Natsuo is better for it. But there will always be a level of distrust.

Like that panther you think of so often, Touya must wonder what it would be like to be free and trusted.

“Touya, I don’t know how to say this,” Natsuo says, trying to keep his tone even and calm despite how anxious you know he must be feeling. You feel your stomach drop as well, balling the fabric of your linen pants between your palms to keep your hands from shaking. You looked at the date on the documents and noticed that it was a day you knew he’d be unavailable, working on a particularly tough case with multiple children from one family. “I can’t do it.”

Touya chuckles, a bitter and hollow sound that makes you flinch. “Of course not.”

“She can, though.”

Unexpectedly, Touya’s bitter chuckle turns into a belly laugh. You wonder if he’ll double over from the strength of it, scarred hands clutching his middle. Natsuo stands, approaching his brother carefully.

“Her?” He points at you and you feel like the one being questioned. Despite the grasp on the thighs of your pants, your hands do shake and your fingers slip. “She probably wishes I would have died every single day despite the little “play nice” bullshit she does for your sake.”

Gasping at the accusation, you hope he can’t see the way your eyes glance downward. You had assumed the two of you were past this, arguments coming to a halt around six months ago when you told him you simply didn’t have the energy for them anymore.

You then began taking him to pick up cigarettes every other day, riding in your car together silently but comfortably. His fingers always drum against his thighs impatiently and you clear your throat, mouth dry until you arrive. You have to be close to him the entire time but you linger on the edges of the small shop in your neighborhood, giving the elderly shopkeeper time to fuss over Touya the way he needs.

The two of you then silently ride back to your home.

“How could you say that, Touya?”

Much like the smaller version of you felt compelled to speak outside of the gleaming panther exhibit, you do the same now. Your voice sounds weak, thin, defeated. Natsuo rushes to your side, kneeling back down and placing one of his large arms around your shoulder.

“Oh here we go, gotta rush to defen -”

Touya’s words are cut off by a sharp glance from his brother, a look he has never seen before. Smothering all of the fire inside of him, hurting the one person who has endlessly forgiven him, he is doused by humility.

“I don’t hate you,” you look up and see Touya’s turquoise eyes that are narrowed and hard staring directly at you. “I don’t wish you were dead,” you continue as you shrug your husband’s arm off of you and begin to stand. “In fact, I was stupid and thought we were finally fucking past all of this!”

Punctuating your shout with a frustrated grunt, you stomp off down the hallway and leave the brothers to figure it out amongst themselves. Natsuo would simply have to find a way to make the date work for him because you couldn’t bring yourself to beg the Commission to be merciful toward someone who detests you so much. You aren’t a big enough person for that, lacking the careful compassion of your husband.

“Are you fucking serious, Touya?”

Natsuo cursing at his brother makes his steely gaze falter, eyes glancing downward toward the floor. Touya remembers a time you went too far, not long after he first moved into your home, and he feels guilty knowing he has done the same.

“Whatever,” Touya responds dismissively as he stomps off.

Natsuo hears the back door slam and rubs his hand over his face, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. He’s transported back to 12 long months ago when he didn’t even want to be in the same room as the two of you, the tension making him incapable of dealing with his own uncertainty about the ability to rehabilitate his brother.

As Touya steps outside into the cool air, far less suffocating than the inside of the house, he fishes around in his pockets for his lighter and mutters obscenities as he realizes it is inside. Of course, he still can’t use his quirk thanks to the very strong suppressants he has to take daily as part of his release, so he flings the door back open and stomps inside.

Hearing hushed muttering from the living room, he closes the door quietly and creeps to the doorway of the kitchen. He shoves himself against the wall, trying to hide from view as he hears your voice.

“I don’t understand why he won’t give me a chance, Natsu.”

His brother sighs and Touya sinks further against the wall. He knows the sound - fed up, frustrated, struggling. Natsuo is the last person he ever wanted to create those feelings in and shame, a bit of an unfamiliar feeling for him, creeps up his spine and makes his stomach turn.

“You didn’t exactly make the best first impression, of course he doesn’t completely trust you.”

Natsuo’s words make you blow out air in frustration. Touya can’t see you, but he imagines you look as downtrodden as you always have after these little battles. His brother’s defense of his behavior is surprising, though, and he idly rubs his thumb across one of the graft scars on his hands.

“I know,” you relent with a sniff. “I know.”

Your words shift Touya’s perspective, precious humility trickling over him and making his left eye twitch - a stress reflex he tried to hide for years.

You were the first person who noticed it and on your usual trip to the small store to pick up his cigarettes after, you passed him a box of anti-inflammatory medication and a bottle of eyedrops wordlessly as you buckled into your seat. He hasn’t twitched since.

Acknowledging the hurt you’ve caused is the first step of atonement, he remembers reading in a book Natsuo brought him while he was still locked up.

He peeks from around the wall, stretching his arms over his head and locking his fingers on the back of his skull, buried in poorly dyed black hair. Natsuo looks up through his light eyelashes at his brother who approaches carefully, settling on the opposite side of the table from where the pair of you sit.

“You can do it.”

The words are simple and cause both you and Natsuo to look up. Touya refuses to meet your puffy eyes and rises back to standing as quickly as he sat, slapping the tabletop once before skulking down the hallway to grab his lighter.

You and Natsuo resolve not to ask questions, with only two weeks until the panel meets time is of the essence and your testimony will be key to helping Touya if you choose to help him.

Sitting in front of the panel is more nerve-wracking than you expected. A group of five familiar faces all staring at you with discerning eyes as you shuffle the hand-written pages of your testimony between your fingers.

These people have rummaged through your home on more than one occasion, interviewed all of your close friends and family, sifted through every piece of your dirty laundry and you’re at their mercy once again but this time you’re more willing.

“You may begin as you wish, Todoroki-san.”

Nodding respectfully toward the head of the panel, you clear your throat and exhale as you look down at the papers in your hands. You can feel Touya looking at you from across the room, Fuyumi and Shouto seated beside him and Rei on the other side of his sister, but refuse to look up at them for fear it’ll make the little courage you’ve summoned disappear.

“When Touya first moved into our home, I was uncertain of his ability to be rehabilitated.”

You spent the last two weeks reading this exact same speech to Natsuo, rehearsing it in your bedroom while pacing across the floor. The ink on the page is smeared in places from wet tears that dripped down onto the paper, black bleeding into blue and drying into rippled and raised spots. Those spots remind you of Touya, the way he has woven his way into part of your everyday existence.

“The process of allowing him into our lives felt very invasive. Respectfully, our lives were torn apart in preparation for him. Our home was combed through, our mail was intercepted, my husband was followed by a member of this committee on his way home from the clinic he tirelessly uses as a means to help others on more than one occasion.”

You keep your tone even to avoid sounding accusatory. These are all facts the Commission themselves have confirmed via their own documentation but standing in the face of the very force that can decide your future as well as Touya’s is more intimidating than you expected.

“The day Touya moved in, our lives shifted in a way that no amount of preparation could have made us anticipate. Difficult interpersonal dynamics forced us to take a good hard look at the future of our family and the future of what we desired for Touya. How did we want his rehabilitation to look?”

Taking a breath, you look up from the sheet of paper for a moment to meet Touya’s gaze and it strikes you as odd to see something almost tender. You sniff, nose twitching, vowing to hold yourself together until you’re alone or with Fuyumi or anywhere but sitting in front of people who have made their living off of judging, doling out punishment, changing lives for better or worse.

“While we’ve had many difficult times, I am not here to talk about the difficulty I caused Touya with my inability to coexist for the first several months. Rehabilitation takes a team and I was not a team player,” you pause and hear shuffling from the seats across the room. “Despite this, Touya has dedicated himself to improvement and has continually adhered to every request the commission put forth in the original terms of his release.”

While you don’t want to continue to air out your dirty laundry, there is a therapeutic feeling in knowing you’re publicly admitting to handling things wrong. In front of Natsuo’s family, nonetheless. Touya’s family. Your family.

At the end of this lies the fact that you are all a family and forgiveness is inherently woven through the relationships and bonds you share.

“It is the recommendation of both my husband and I that Touya’s privileges of release be expanded upon, including reduction of supervision and permission to travel to the homes of his mother and siblings independently if he chooses.”

Rising to your feet, you bow before the panel once more before walking toward the back of the room and quietly exiting as they take time to deliberate and make their decision.

Touya rises and comes to the front of the room, standing before them. He hates the way he feels, like a caged animal with his muscles tensed, in a suit that doesn’t even belong to him because why the fuck would he ever own a suit? The sleeves are too long, it is Shouto’s after all, and he pulls the cuffs over his hands with his thumbs.

The panel head speaks and the room is so quiet you’re even unnerved from the other side of the door. Pressing your ear to the wood, you listen.

“Our decision will not be immediate. You can expect further communication from the panel in the coming weeks. As of right now, your terms of release remain the same until you are otherwise notified. Thank you for your time today, Todoroki-san.”

Touya bows and joins his family, missing the member he wishes to see the most.

You back away from the door as you hear the knob turn and rest against the wall, arms over your chest as you greet your in-law’s with a subdued smile.

“Natsu will be so proud of you!” Fuyumi beams, rubbing your bicep in a comforting gesture. You just shrug, unable to speak. You exchange a few additional pleasantries with Shouto and Rei, wishing them goodbye as they leave you and Touya standing on opposite sides of the hallway.

“It’s okay, you know.”

Touya’s voice is a rasp, as always, and you look up through your eyelashes at him. Fiddling uncomfortably with the cuff of your shirt in the same way he’s been fiddling with his own cuffs all day, it just further emphasizes the similarities you share. It isn’t just love for Natsuo you have in common anymore.

“None of this shit has been easy and you’ve done your best. I’m not exactly a fuckin’ easy person to get along with.”

You chuckle, tension diffusing.

“I think you’re going soft, Touya.”

He chuckles back and your eyes meet, the two of you walking toward the center of the hallway to leave the building together and walk back to your car. Your footsteps are quiet and so are his, both of you slumping as you saunter out of the door and into the bright midday sun.

“Nah, just tired of being an asshole all the time.”

The news comes as you stand at your kitchen sink, Touya bent over as you help him rinse black hair dye down the drain. Your hands are wet, his shirt is soaked, but you agreed to help him after noticing a huge white patch still at the back of his head from his attempts to do it himself.

“I dunno why you want it to be black so bad, don’t you want to look like Natsu?”

Touya snorts and the sound echoes through the steel basin. “I have to keep a little edge. Let me live.” You shut off the clean running water, allowing the dark droplets to work their way out of your sink. There was more rinsing to do but you wanted to be sure of how much more.

“It’s here!” Natsuo shouts from the doorway and you hear his hurried, large footsteps trek into the room, ripping of paper ringing in your ears.

You want to leave Touya’s side and go to Natsuo, to read over his arm, to see for yourself but you resolve to be patient and continue to lightly massage Touya’s scalp. He needs comfort right now, you can tell.

“Expansion of privileges,” Natsuo mutters to himself, scanning the page as quickly as he can. “Unsupervised access to other family homes! Holy shit!”

Tossing the papers onto the counter, your husband bolts toward you and wraps his arms around your waist. “No, no, no,” you chant as he picks you up and you accidentally pull Touya’s wet strands of hair. He yelps and you let go, hissing apologetically.

“God Natsuo, down boy.”

Your snarky brother-in-law draws a giggle from you as your husband presses a kiss against your cheek and reaches down to slap him on the back. “Do you wanna tell mom or should I?” Touya looks up, head still dripping, and rolls his eyes at his brother. “I could just show up at her house, that’d have more impact.”

Wiggling away from Natsuo, you reach for the towel on the counter and wrap it around Touya’s neck so he can sit up and not drip black water all over your floor. He gives silent thanks in the form of a tight half smile and you smile back, stepping away to let the brothers converse about how they’re going to break the news to their siblings.

As you watch the two of them, the panther and his handler once again come back to your mind.

The reason that the handler was able to come so close to the cat is because he trusted him. The cat could learn to trust others, to let people in, to let them be on his side. You won’t have to wonder if you could have gained the panther’s trust any longer and he won’t have to wonder what it’s like to be on the outside with the rest of us.

#natsuo todoroki x reader #touya todoroki x reader #kendall writes #the double feature lmfao

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idontwanttospoiltheparty · 6 months

Note

ok I need you to discuss this John is My Son thing because like I also feel that Sometimes I Felt Like His Priest is also really underdischssed!

okay here we go!!!

The quote you're referring to is from the Foreword of The Lyrics. I grabbed some more of it because it's all quite interesting to me.

This was about the same time that I met John Lennon, and it’s pretty clear now that we were a huge influence on each other. Readers might detect duelling emotions in my recollections of John; that’s because my relationship with him was very mixed. Sometimes it was filled with great love and admiration, but other times not, especially around the time The Beatles were breaking up. In the beginning, though, the relationship was a young Liverpool guy looking up to another guy a year and a half older. It was hard not to admire John’s wit and wisdom. But as I came to see him as a person and a human being, there were, of course, arguments, though never anything violent. There’s even a movie out there in which John’s character punches my character, but the truth is that he never punched me. As with many friendships, there were disputes and there were arguments, but not many. Sometimes, though, I certainly thought John was being a complete idiot. Even though I was younger, I would try to explain to him why he was being stupid and why something he’d done was so unlike him. I remember him saying things to me like, ‘You know, Paul, I worry about how people are gonna remember me when I die.’ Thoughts like that shocked me, and I’d reply, ‘Hold on; just hold it right there. People are going to think you were great, and you’ve already done enough work to demonstrate that.’ I often felt like I was his priest and would have to say, ‘My son, you’re great. Just don’t worry about that.’

It's like… there's so much going on here, you know? John is almost paradoxical to Paul: the source of one of the biggest hurts of his life and also one of his great bringers of joy; he's forever petrified as a teenager in Paul's mind and also on some level remains his fairground hero whose shadow Paul cannot escape; a traitor and yet don't you dare depict him being violent towards me; wise and simultaneously stupid.

At its root, I think many of these contradictions exist because Paul is on some level aware that a lot of the pain John dealt him was at least in part due to something John could not help (i.e. mental illness). He can't bring himself to blame John entirely, in a similar way a lot of us fans wrestle with John's behaviour that we know came from a place of great anguish. This has contributed to Paul infantilizing the memory of John; he has an instinct to look after John, and it's exacerbated by the fact that he has aged whilst his conception of John has not (you can see this in the way Paul constantly circles back to the early days of their friendship), which is in great contrast to Paul's memory of, say, Brian:

"I find that one of the interesting aspects of ageing: Brian Epstein never got beyond thirty-two, but I think of him as an older guy even though I’m already twenty years older than he ever got to be." – Many Years From Now.

But there's another element to this… A lot of people on here speculate about why Paul "can't get over John". My answer:

1) John's death was uniquely traumatic to John's loved ones in a way we tend to gloss over.

2) We are not letting Paul get over it! Paul has been asked about John in interview after interview for four decades and his image directly suffered due to the lionization of John post-1980 as well as the way he (Paul) was judged for not grieving correctly. Perhaps he's started bringing John up a lot in interviews in part because he feels he has to, lest he be deemed callous and cold again. (and perhaps he is seeking to nip the Lennon Question in the bud before the questions become, ahem, horribly insensitive) That's not to say Paul isn't weird about John – I think he is! But I think the way he's been made to both carry John's legacy and accept criticism used to build John up and bury his own unresolved anger at John and grieve over a senseless murder publicly and defend John now that his image is being torn down… it accounts for a huge chunk of this weirdness, IMO. Again, I want to reiterate: I think these are generally Paul's genuine feelings and thoughts (and I certainly don't want to imply that all of this only started post-1980... but perhaps there's a reason Paul seemed more measured throughout the '70s) but I think it's naive to act like society didn't help shape the way Paul talks about John and sees him. When you live as publicly as he does and your childhood friendship is one of the most talked about relationships in music history, you are bound to be affected by the general reception.

I also think Paul is often doing reputation damage control. It is very important to him that he and John are remembered first and foremost as friends (hence the offense he takes in the depiction of John punching him in Nowhere Boy) and it seems like, since at least Goldman, he's been trying to emphasize John's softer, more lovable traits. I think this, mixed with the infantilization mentioned above, is where you get stuff like the clip of Paul calling John a little baby or a lovely broth of a boy.

It's all so damn complicated you know? And so fascinating.

#ask #anon #my analysis #jp #meta

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mrs-pondwater19 · 1 year

Text

Some Alone Time

Shinjiro Aragaki x AFAB Reader SMUT

Hello my lovelies, this story is pretty simple as far as plot goes, this takes place during the time you spend with Shinjiro when you max out his social link in the game Persona 3 Portable *I've never played P3P so if I get some things wrong plot wise I'm sorry*. There will be direct dialogue from the game for the romance scene. The reader is afab, so fem anatomy *I'm not good for writing much else and I'm sorry* All participants are aged up for the sake of the story. This is a smutty one so minors please walk away. This story was requested by the lovely @nutmeg030. I hope you enjoy my dear.

WARNINGS: 18+, Minors DNI, SPOILERS, friends to lovers, established relationship right before smut, no real plot just porn lol, slight angst, domination, hickeys/markings, soft foreplay, fondling, clothed genital stimulation, slight dirty talk, unprotected sex, p in v, Shinjiro trying to be gentle but fails and is a rough boi, rough sex, praise, cum on body, cute cuddly shit.

When you walked into the lounge, it was particularly empty that night, it was you and few other students lingering around from what you could see. The atmosphere was dull, deary, and damned near boring. The few students that were there were either reading their texts books or conversing over a light meal from the kitchen. Some of them being friends from your group hanging out after the long day. You gave them a little wave as you passed by, making your way towards the back.

Most of the other students headed back to their rooms earlier that night, by the time nine o'clock rolled around. Either to get some studying in or pass out after a day of long, grueling classes. And by the time ten thirty would roll around the dormitory would be dead and silent, like a ghost town.

But not you, that was usually the time you'd meet up with a dear friend from your group, Shinjiro. You didn't really get to see him much during the day other than when you'd attend classes or battle against shadows with him and the rest of your group. That time of night was when you'd actually get to spend time with him, to learn about his personality and his interests outside of all formalities of the group. He seemed cold and gruff when you two first started hanging out, often just wanting to be left alone and attempting to push you away. But over time he began to gradually open up and you had grown incredibly fond of the mysterious, dark haired man. Learning about his traumatic history involving some of the others students, all his interests, and his funny little quirks as well as his personality made you feel something you've never really experienced with anyone else.

You adored all of your friends immensely, there wasn't any doubt about that, but with Shinjiro it was something a little different, something a little deeper. Having broken down his tough, gruff exterior and revealing all his darkest secrets to you, good and bad, it made you feel very special. It made you feel like you two could share anything and everything with each other. And it seemed the bond you two had created was at a point where it couldn't be taken to the next level. Which, with any luck, was what you were hoping to achieve later into the evening.

As you walked on, you saw Shinjiro leaning up against the wall, hands him his pockets, thinking quietly to himself. As you approached him your heart began to beat faster from the nervousness and excitement flowing through your body. His gaze met yours momentarily, eyes widen for a split second before looking away, going back into his thoughts.

"Hey Shinjiro" you said sweetly as you stood beside him, mimicking his current stance.

"Shouldn't you be with the others," he asked very curtly. He shifted around slightly, arms crossing over his chest.

"I can't give you anything or do anything for you." His eyes avoided yours as you felt a slight ping again your chest at his cold response. But you wouldn't let that deter you,

"I want to be with you Shinji," you replied very calmly. His head turned in your direction, looking at you as he raised an eyebrow to your statement. Looking away from you once more with confliction spread across his face, he shifted again before motioning you to go over to the bar with him. Both of you making your way over, the lounge now almost completely empty, you stood adjacent from Shinjiro. You like looked up at him, your loving gaze settling on his gruff features as you tried to find the courage and the right words to express your feelings. He looked down at you, his expression never faltering as he said,

"You can stare at me like that all day. I got nothing for you." The look in your eyes never wavering, knowing he was just saying all these things to try and keep you at a safe distance.

"Haven't you wasted enough time on me? What more do you want?"

This was it, this was finally your chance to tell him how you really, truly felt about him. There wasn't anymore friendly bonding beyond this point, and the both of you knew it . You took a deep breath and looked at him, his steel grey eyes looking at you with blankly, soft undertones drowning somewhere deep within them. You smiled kindly at him as your heart began to beat faster, to the point you thought it would beat right out of your chest from the anxiousness, but you knew this was the perfect, and maybe the only time, to confess.

"I love you Shinjiro," you said with warmth and confidence. You thought for sure you'd slip up, have the words get caught in your throat, or stutter over yourself and pull away from what you wanted to say. But you didn't, it flowed from you so perfectly, better than you had ever expected it to. His stoic expression dropped from his face as soon as those words fell from your lips, his eyes wide and face flushed,

"Huh?...D-don't tease me like that!" He said in embarrassment, thinking you weren't being serious with him.

"I'm not teasing you," you said very seriously, making it very clear that you weren't joking. He grumbled to himself, realizing you weren't messing around with him. Looking away from you for a moment, a painful strain forming in his eyes. He turned his gaze back towards you, his stoic expression coming back as he rebutted,

"I mean, why just blurt out something like that? Here, of all places..." He was steadfast in not giving you a reaction from your confession, not right away anyways. Taking a moment to find a response you thought you yourself. Then an idea popped into your head, if this wasn't the place for you to express your feelings, why not one of your rooms? Feeling bold, probably from the adrenaline of your confession, you blurted out,

"Won't you come to my room?"

"I-I can't do that. I mean you're... Well, people are gonna get the wrong idea." Though he stuttered over his words, his stoicness never faltered. But it didn't stop you either, you wanted to get him alone, to show him that you were one hundred percent serious about these feelings for him. You jokingly replied to him,

"That just leaves your room, then." A dusting of pink littered his face as he continued to stutter,

"Y-you moron. I... I ain't a nice guy Y/N. I can't let you in my room. Don't you get it?" You didn't believe him. Not for a second did you believe that he wasn't a nice guy or a bad person. You knew deep down who he was, and he was good, kind, and just.

"I know what I'm saying Shinjiro." He shifted his head to the side as he put his guard up, not wanting to let you break him down as he narrowed his eyes at you,

"No way. It's not gonna happen," he said coldly. He took a moment to realize how his tone was and switched to a slightly softer one, but still contempt laced his voice,

"Look, you need to watch yourself. Don't bother with someone like me." Ignoring his remarks, you stepped closer to him, running your fingers lightly over the burgundy fabric of his jacket.

"I still love you Shinji." Turning his head back to you, he sighed in frustration,

"Idiot..."

After constantly persisting, pestering, and making excuses to him as to why you two should sneak away, he took your hand off his coat and led you way from the lounge and to his dorm room.

...

When you entered his room, you took in the emptiness of it. The four burnt beige colored walls, his work desk, and a bed. Part of you felt a stale sadness for him as you observed your surroundings. Seeing the other rooms of your friends was seeing how they expressed themselves and their interests taking a sort of physical form. While with Shinjiro's, it felt very sad and empty, like he couldn't express himself or his interests to the world. But that would be a conversation for another time.

You walked over to the desk and leaned against it as you ooked in his direction, his steel eyes boring into your form with a sour look lingering on his face,

"...So? Happy now? You're always pushing me around all the time... You're just gonna ignore what I want, huh?" He asked rhetorically, grumbling to himself once again before speaking, his tone becoming a bit snarky and confident,

"Yeah, well two can play that game." He walked over to you hesitantly, his face softened as he extended his arms out and embraced you. You were slightly taken back by his actions, considering the entire night he was trying to keep you at a distance, but you took this as your opportunity to see his more intimate side. You wrapped your arms around him tightly, burying your face into his course jacket. His scent was a light earthy mix of sandalwood, birch, and musk. You couldn't help but feel yourself drowning in it, feeling a sense of security washing over you as you tightened the embrace. You felt yourself slowly losing yourself more and more in him when he whispered,

"This is your fault, you know. I'm all confused. You're all I can think about, day and night."

The tension between the two of you was noticable before when you two were together. But in that moment it was thick, palpable, and almost unbearably painful. His tall, liber form towering over your smaller one showed how he had a sense of control and power over you. The way his arms tightly wrapped around your waist and how his fingers lightly touched your back was like a man starved of touch. How he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his breath heavy against your skin like was trying to hold himself back from ravaging you. The seeing him like this was intoxicating, and you craved more of it, you craved his touch and wanting to reciprocate them. But before anything could progress he let out a breath of frustration before continuing

"Dammit, this isn't how it's supposed to be..." He let go of you abruptly, still not fully willing to submit to his feelings. You fell back onto the desk for support, trying to come back to reality after be captivated and entranced from Shinjiro's touch. He looked at you with his eyes narrowed once again,

"You get it right?" You looked at him still slightly dazed and confused at his question. Though his expression didn't change, his eyes were no longer cold and stoic like before. Lust began pooling in his steel orb as he slightly backed away to keep a bit of distance between the two of you, afraid he might do something he'd regret,

"Go back to your room. If you don't go now you're not gonna get another chance."

Deep down he really didn't want you to leave, but he didn't want to put you in a situation where you felt uncomfortable or trapped. He thought it was only fair that he should give you the opportunity to leave while you still could if you wanted to. Taking a few cautious steps towards him you spoke softly,

"I'm not going anywhere." He sighed and shook his head, a slight smirk formed on his face as he glanced at the floor then back to you.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that," he chuckled to himself before signing once more. He took a step closer to you, placing his hands on your shoulders as his eyes darted to the side,

"I'm gonna make myself clear," his eyes swiftly moving back to yours with a stern expression. Looking into them you could see they were dark, drowning in lust and need. His hands began to run down your arms to the sides of your waist as he moved in closer to you. The space between growing smaller and smaller as he spoke,

"...I ain't holding back anymore." With that somewhat hesitated statement he closed the space between you with a passionate, yet needy, kiss. The fabric of his beanie brushed up against your forehead, the softness of his lips, and feeling the little bit of stubble from his chin against your skin exhilarated your senses. You snaked your arms up and around his neck to deepen the kiss, losing yourself to him once again. His hands gripped harshly at your sides, trying to keep himself somewhat grounded in the moment, never wanting it to end. The kiss began to get more heated as he guided you to his bed, slowly lowering you down onto the firm mattress. His hands moved down to your hips with hesitation, not wanting to hurt you or rush himself. Your hands ran up the back of his neck and pulled off his dark grey beanie, freeing his messy umber locks.

He nipped gently at your lower lips, causing you to slightly gasp. His tongue slipped into your mouth, causing you to moan involuntarily at his actions. He chuckled slightly to himself as he began to explore your mouth gingerly. You did your best to hold in your moans as the two wet muscles collided together. His hands pinning yours down at your sides as gently as he could while attacking the inside of your mouth with pleasure.

He pulled away for a breath, leaving a string of salvia connecting the two of you. Both of you took heavy, deep breaths as he crawled away to let you look at each another. Shinjiro's face a deep crimson red, his lips swollen, and his chest heaving, he was absolutely breathtaking. While taking in the sight of him, his eyes scanned your form, your uniform ruffled, hair falling out of its ponytail, and eyes glossy with wanton. Your hands crept up to the collar of his jacket and slowly began to unbutton down his limber frame. His breath hitched in his throat as you revealed his thin, black undershirt and letting his thick, heavy jacket slip down his arms before removing it completely. Your fingers began to creep up his shirt before he grabbed your forearms abruptly, it wasn't enough to hurt you, but enough to catch you off guard.

"What's the matter," you asked in a breath whisper. He avoided your gaze when he spoke in a low, gravel like tone,

"I-It's just, I-I've," he stumbled over his words and couldn't seem to manage to get the words out. You tenderly touched his face in reassurance,

"It's alright Shinjiro," you stated before pulling him into a loving embrace. His body tensed even more under your soft touch and you could see him grit his teeth in frustration before taking a deep breath to calm himself.

He gently took your hands into his, intertwining them as he pushed you back on into the mattress. His tall frame hovered over you as his lips lightly brushed against your neck, causing shivers to run throughout your body. You arched your back to bring yourself closer to him, pressing your body into his as his lips latched on to your neck. You knew that once morning came your neck and chest would be a painted canvas of blues and purples. Gasps and hushed moans escaped you as he began to fully remove the upper half of your uniform, leaving you with just a bra. Your skin began to flush at the vulnerability you were in, pinned under the man you just confessed to as he continued to litter your skin with no remorse. His free hand moved to the clip of your bra as he looked at you lustfully for permission, you nodded, giving him the 'go ahead' grin. He unclipped it in one swift movement, letting the straps fall down the length of your arms as he helped you take it off.

His eyes wandered to your now bare chest, a cocky grin forming on his face as he began to creep his hands towards your breasts. He gave your chest a firm squeeze, he shuddered at the feeling of the warm, plush like mound in his palms, watching you squirm under him. Your nipples hardened as he massaged your breasts with eagerness, watching your every movement. He let go of your other hand and took your hardened buds between his fingers before lightly tweaking them, earning a high pitched moan from you.

You squirmed vigorously under him while he worked his magic of your chest to the point where they felt raw and overstimulated. The way his hands caressed the hot, supple skin of your breasts made it almost impossible to wait any longer for him to take you right then and there. He grunted in arousal as he looked down at your painfully overstimulated form,

"God your tits are fucking perfect," he groaned out, strain and hesitation laced somewhere in his voice. His hands began to wander down your sides, fingers delicately ghosting over your soft skin to your skirt. His hand ruffled up the fabric, revealing your lacy underwear,

"Naughty girl," he whispered seductively as he brought his hand further down to your inner thigh, dangerously to your pulsating core. His slender fingers ran over the embroidered fabric right over your pooling heat, letting a moan slip from you as he began to gently rub against your clit. His free hand moved up to your face, looking you dead in the eyes as you began to unravel under him. Moans and squeals escaped you as his fingers continued to work slowly on your folds. The nerves overly sensitive from the stimulation drove you up the wall, the look in his eyes didn't help it either. His body tensed as his movements grew at a steady pace, his name falling off your lips as ecstacy overtook you completely.

"Shinji, more, please," you moaned out, feeling his fingers harshly pressed up again your pussy, the fabric pressing into the wet, hot flesh.

"You're doing well for me Y/N, fuck," he let out a breathy sigh as his hand harshly moved against you. You looked down to see his painfully hard member poking through his trousers. The sight of him hard for you made you even more wet for him, so much so that your underwear were soaked completely. The sound of his fingers squelching against the soaked fabric and your moans filled the room as you felt a coil building up in the pit of your stomach,

"Shinjiro, I-I," before you could finish your sentence he pulled away, his finger glistening in your slick. He brought his fingers to his lips as licked them clean,

"You taste amazing," he moaned out to you. You groaned in disappointment, wanting to feel some kind of relief from his actions. He propped himself up on his knees and hastily removed his shirt, revealing his toned, lean torso. Your eyes widened as he continued to strip down to his boxers, the sight of his messy hair, flushed skin, and lustful gaze made you squirmed in anticipation.

"You liking what you see sweetheart," he taunted. His hands teasingly played with the hem of his boxers, emphasizing his painfully pleasured state as he slowly pulled them down over his thighs, his cock springing free from the confines of the thin fabric. It was flushed a deep crimson, the veins protruding throughout his length, and a bit of precum dribbling from the tip. His breath was shallow as he crawled over to you like a rabid animal, his self control dwindling faster than you could react to it,

"I can't wait anymore," he grumbled out.

"I want to feel that perfect puss wrapped around me. I want to feel you writhing beneath me while I fuck you senseless. I want to feel how perfect you really truly are," he whimpered out to you.

He forcefully spread your legs and pulled off your underwear, leaving you in your ruffled up skirt, open and vulnerable under him. His grumbles and groans were feral like as he gave his cock a few pumps before bringing his lips to your ear,

"You ready babygirl," his breath ragged and needy. You nodded,

"Yes Shinji, please," you pleaded.

That's all he needed to hear before lining himself up at your entrance and slowly thrusting into you. A relief filled moan poured off your tongue and into the space of his room as his cock stretched your walls. He let a hesitant groan out, just above a whisper he cursed,

"Fuck," it was long and drawn out as he began to move. He was gentle with each thrust he drew in and out of you. His hand gently gripped at your wrists, pinning them above your head to get a full view of what was beneath him.

Your face red, eyes squeezed shut, and contorted in pleasure as you swallowed his cock as he slowly pounded into you. It felt amazing, the way he stretched you out, the way his breath felt against your neck, and especially how his touch was so sweet and gentle. But there was something he was holding back, you could feel it in your gut. Something about the way he held you felt strained, it was similar to the way he gripped your wrists earlier, strained and a bit unorthodox, like he wasn't entirely sure of himself. You opened your eyes to look up at him, a few locks of hair falling in his face, his mouth slightly agape, and eyes completely dark and drunk off of thr lust coursing through his body.

"Fuck Shinji," you squealed out, feeling his grip on your wrists tighten harshly and his pace quicken, not realizing how he reacted to your sinful response. You moaned out in surprise at the sudden change in his demeanor, getting a glimpse of what he was holding back from you. His gripped tightened even more and his thrust became more aggressive, causing your moans and squeals to become more high pitched and abrupt. He was so completely lost in his arousal and need for you his aggressive side began to truly shows itself, in that moment he showed you what he really wanted to do to you, how he wanted to please you as well as himself.

"Fuck," you semi screamed out to him. After hearing you, he caught himself and began to slow his pace. His grip on your wrist loosened as he spoke,

"Fuck Y/N, I'm sorry, I got a little carried away. I didn't hurt you did I?" His tone was sweet and genuine as he looked into your eyes with remorse. You smiled to him and kissed his cheek,

"No Shinji, if I'm being honest, I kinda liked what you were doing before. Please, please don't stop," you moaned sweetly to him as your hands wandered to his back. Surprise fell on his face for a moment, but was taken over by a lustful grin as he snapped his hips harshly against yours.

"If that's what you want, then I'll give it to you." You squealed in response to his roughness and pleasure began to course through you once again. His pace was rough and a bit sporadic as loud, needy groans filled the room. You continued to squeal and moan for him and he roughly held your wrist down into the pillow above your head,

"Yes Shinji, fuck, feels so good," you panted out, slowly getting drunk off the feeling of his cock destroying your overstimulated pussy. You felt the coil building up in your stomach again as his pace picked up even more than before and his grip was as firm as ever,

"You look so pretty like this. Shaking and and crying out for me," he gritted in-between his teeth. His grunts and groans began to fall out in ragged, needy whimpers. He was losing himself to the feeling of you squeezed around him, his cock sliding in and out of you effortlessly. You were completely gone at that point, drunk off him and everything he was doing to you. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, saliva dribbling down your chin, and your body limp for him to use however he saw fit.

Although he would never actually hurt you, sure he was a bit aggressive in thr moment, hut if he were to cause you any harm whatsoever he wouldn't ever forgive himself for it. It was just about his pleasure, it was for the both of you, he wanted to make you to feel good. Looking into your eyes, he saw how you had come completely undone for him,

"You're so beautiful baby, so perfect for me," he mumbled out. He wasn't going to last much longer in that state. His cock now thrusting unforgivingly in and out of you, drowning in your slick. The grip on your wrists never faltered, you knew there'd be lovely little marks from them in the morning. The coil in your stomach grew with each passing second and each thrust it threaded to break,

"Shinji please, I'm not gonna last any longer," you begged him. He knew what you was asking for, but he wasn't ready for her to finish yet, he wanted to finish with you. He moved his hands away from your wrists and gently cupped your kissing your forward tenderly, despite his rough, animalistic like motions.

"Please baby, just a little longer, can you wait just little longer for me," the pleads dripped off and out of him like amber. You gave him a half nod, you were coherent enough to hear his request, but whether you could follow through or not would be a challenge.

He kissed you passionately, both your lips pink and swollen as he pulled away for air. You didn't understand stand how it was possible, but he somehow managed to go even faster and harder than before. The sounds of moaning, whimpers, squeals, and the slapping of skin filled the room. You were sure other students heard you, but you didn't care, all you cared about in that moment was him, Shinjiro, claiming you as his own, and him as yours.

You could tell he was almost there, edging himself closer to his climax as he gaze was set on you. You were a mess, your hair come completely undone from its ribbon, sweat lightly coated your brow, and your skin a rosy, peony pink. Not to mention the slick that shamelessly covered your thighs and milked his cock, want to give him his sweet release. Your hands crept to his back and you dug your nails into his skin,

"Yes fuck. Oh God, Shinjiro, yes just like that," you whimpered under him. He was hitting a spit that made you absolutely cry and scream for him. You couldn't hold yourself from cumming anymore, not after finding that special little spot.

"I'm gonna cum Shinjiro," you cried, tears spilling from your eyes as you felt the rush approaching you, like waves over a rocky shore.

"Fuck, cum with me baby," he grunted out as he felt you spasm around his cock before pulling out of you, spurting white, thick ropes on to your stomach. He let out a few relieved moans as he finished, pumping out what little cum he had left in him. Both of you took a few moments to catch your breath, coming down from your high you looked at him lovingly, even in his disheveled state, he was really was the most beautiful man you'd ever seen. His chest rose and fell in heavy breaths, looking at you with admiration. Your stomach covered in his cum, drool covered your chin, and exhaustion settling in over your body. He stood up from the bed and went over to his desk, pulling open a drawer and grabbing a few tissues to clean him and yourself with.

After you were both clean, he put his beanie back on and got you in one of his T-shirts before cuddling up to you in his bed. He wrapped his arms around you tightly while you gently laid on his chest, playing with a few strands of his hair. He smiled to himself while looking down at you, sleep threatening to captivate you as he spoke,

"...If this is how things are gonna between us, I think I might stick around for a while," his tone was a bit monotoned, but he meant what he said. He kissed your forehead gently before speaking again,

"I love you." You almost didn't hear him from your tired condition, but thankfully you heard him well enough to respond,

"I love you too Shinjiro, I always have. And I always will," you said sleepily as you continued to play with his hair until your felt yourself drift to sleep. He chuckled to himself quietly, feeling that he wasn't too far behind you,

"I'm holding you to that." With those few words he fell asleep with you in his arms.

#persona 3 portable #shinjiro aragaki #p3 shinjiro #Shinjiro x reader #anime x reader smut #Shinjiro x reader smut #persona x reader

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coraniaid · 7 months

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The only thing more powerful than the Buffy writers' reluctance to give screentime to a woman over the age of thirty is the collective Buffy fandom's eagerness to seize on the slightest scrap of canon characterization as evidence that said thirty-plus-year old woman is some sort of monster.

The show: Willow Rosenberg likes spending time with her mother and does so willingly even after moving out (as we see, for example, in Forever) and her mother was keen to invite her high school boyfriend over for dinner to try to get to know him as soon as Willow admitted to her that he existed (at the end of Gingerbread) and her mother was fully accepting (literally "proud") of Willow when she came out as a lesbian (already implicit, but confirmed in The Killer In Me). Oh, but she has a full time job in academia and sometimes Willow wishes she paid her more attention (this despite the fact that Willow canonically does hide things from her all the time) and she doesn't always notice when Willow cuts her hair or properly remember her friends' names and she only met Willow's first girlfriend a few times.

The fandom: well, clearly Willow is as much a victim of parental abuse as Xander Harris or Amy Madison or Faith Lehane. This is a completely reasonable and proportionate conclusion to come to based on one on-screen appearance and some throwaway lines of dialogue.

I mean ... don't get me wrong. Shelia Rosenberg is not a good mother. She's not much more than a cardboard cutout, really. Less of a character than even Hank Summers, and that's saying something.

What she is, really, is the sort of lazy cliche you get in a lot of teen movies of the 1990s and 2000s (something which is true of Joyce Summers as well at times, only Sheila is permitted far less depth or screen presence or other redeeming features). She's a somewhat reactionary take on the idea of an adult woman who dares to have a professional career and therefore cannot "properly" attend to the needs of her children. A woman too busy focusing on the abstract (her academic study of "adolescent development") to care about the practical (the growing pains of her own teenage daughter).

(Get it? See, it's funny, because she's a woman with both a child and a career. What will those crazy feminists dream up next?)

As written, Willow's mother kind of sucks: not because she's a bad person but because she isn't written as a person at all. She's a joke, and not a good one.

But the weirdly popular idea On Here that Willow is somehow traumatized by having what is, by all accounts, a fairly ordinary and comfortable childhood is absurd. There is simply nothing in the text to support this.

#btvs #the one character on Buffy played by a woman over 30 who the fandom don't insist is an evil monster is Drusilla #which is pretty funny actually since she very much is one #like I love Drusilla and I think she should have been in the show much much more but she very much is capital E Evil #she cheerfully tried to end the world! twice! in one season! she literally eats children!#but she cannot be coded as a Bad Mother so she gets woobified to the role of loving and self-sacrificing innocent ex-girlfriend instead

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sleepingontheclouds · 5 months

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I’ve been getting more and more attached to Jason’s character so please indulge me. I will be having to section these off cause I’m gonna be talking about two pieces of media </3

Titans

I’m watching season three of Titans right now and, it’s a wonder. There’s a few aspects that bother me but overall I’m in love so far.

The season makes a bold choice by literally opening on Jason- a hero- doing drugs. Sure in season two it mentions Hank doing drugs because of Hawk and it does show him in the act of snorting a substance, but the difference is, he’s an adult. Hank is a thirty something year old man who has probably most likely killed people, Jason isn’t.

Yes, Jason is violent. Yes, he did assault police officers, but he never killed anyone. Jason may legally be an adult but he still acts like a teenager because he is one. He’s a traumatized teen having to deal with the fact that he’s repressing so much from everyone he loves. He never gets an outlet to discuss what’s happened to him with people he trusts.

A great example of this is when he’s about to jump off the the Titans tower in season two. He tries talking to Dick, he says how he feels and he try’s expressing himself, he tries so hard to get his brother figure to understand what he’s going through. What does Dick do? He flips it around and unintentionally makes it about himself.

The closest we get to him actually opening up is when he starts trusting Rose, telling her about his upbringing and starting to get comfortable with her, comfortable loving her. Then she reveals that she only met him because she was trying to manipulate him.

The impact of him turning to drugs hits so much harder. He’s just scared, he turns to anything he can to help. It’s so much deeper when it’s shown that the drug he takes isn’t heroine or coke or anything like that. It’s a drug that stops fear.

He literally felt so weak that he took drugs to repress his emotions to the point where he felt nothing, he felt nothing and thought he was better because of it. There’s no doubt that at this point in the story he’s addicted. Jason started using before he died and the madman who gave him the drugs started using them to manipulate him. I’m really interested in where the story is gonna go with it, I really hope it actually dives into withdrawal and how Jason would cope with everything going on around him without the help of drugs.

Comics/Animation

Overall with every piece of media I see regarding Jason and the batfam, it never really manages to depict Bruce and Jason’s relationship accurately, one of the good ones was that single episode of Titans. (in my opinion).

Me personally, I see Bruce and Jason’s relationship in a very complicated light.

When he first gets adopted, Jason views Bruce as a nurturing figure. He sees him like every child sees their parents, perfect. It’s like he can do no wrong. He’s Batman! And he made Jason Robin! It’s a perfect opportunity, he was being helped, he finally had a dad, one that loved him.

Before Jason died, he still very much idolized Bruce but not to the point of thinking he was perfect. He knew Bruce wasn’t perfect, he just couldn’t bring himself to actually say it. Jason couldn’t face the fact that Batman didn’t need a Robin, he didn’t accept that he could still be Bruce’s son without being Robin.

After he died and came back, there was resentment. He hated Bruce, despised him with every fiber of his being. Depending on what canon you’re watching/reading, there’s different reasons for why. Either Jason is mad that Bruce took Robin away from him before he died, effectively taking away his only coping mechanism, therefore resulting in his death. Or, he hates Bruce for not killing Joker. His father didn’t avenge him, he could care less about Batman having an obligation to avenge Robin as his sidekick—fuck Robin. He cares that Bruce, as a father, didn’t kill the Joker to avenge his son. He let his sons killer roam free, putting the psycho in Arkham won’t do anything. Or or, he holds resentment that Bruce couldn’t save him. He couldn’t save his sidekick, his son, his Robin. He failed.

No matter what happens between the duo, Jason always holds self loathing in his heart because of Bruce.

Across all forms of media, he always develops the thought that Bruce hates him. He always thinks that he’s the ‘least favorite/most hated child’ even though it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Bruce loves him, Jason is undoubtedly the favorite child.

(Sneaking a Titans reference in here—) The fact of Bruce caring for Jason more than his other children, (cough cough DICK) is solidified when he takes the Robin mantle away from Jason. He’s trying to protect his son in a way he thinks is best. He saw and heard what being Robin did to Dick, he doesn’t want to put Jason through that. Even the line where Bruce says “I don’t want to make the same mistakes.” Jason perceives it as Bruce calling him a mistake. He lashes out and gets angry because he thinks that he’s being called a mistake. It’s not true, the sentence itself with the context of the episode and the episode before show that it’s not true. Bruce is calling Dick his mistake, not Jason.

Throughout everything, Jason sees anything negative that Bruce says or does as a direct attack on him, when he’s the only one Bruce actually tried to parent. Dick was treated like a weapon. Jason, as a child.

#jason todd #dc robin #bruce and jason #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing #batfam #jason and bruce #daddy issues #dc comics #dc titans #titans 2018 #so much violence #tw drugs #drug usage

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jasonscaramel · 11 months

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i guess only the stars would know the truth - chapter four - jason todd x reader

series summary: there's something going on in gotham. you transfer into gotham university's journalism program. simultaneously, people are going missing in gotham at record rates. it's only a matter of time before your curiosity gets the best of you.

words: 2.9k

ao3 | series masterlist

You were right about Gotham being a hub for activity to report on. This goldmine, however, makes it a bit difficult to find the specifics of what you’re looking for. Truly needle in a haystack territory, you think. Your morning had started early, you brewed a large pot of coffee to prepare yourself for the day ahead, and once it was ready, you began your research.

It had taken several hours straight of research and ignoring your homework to get to where you are now. You’d nailed down every article written about each of the attacks. Some were more thorough than others, but there was a throughline in each that you were able to pin down.

No matter the article, each eyewitness said there was at least a group of three people kidnapping the one person. That’s pretty standard, you assume. But there is something you find that’s a bit less standard.

Of the fourteen articles you found, only three mentioned what the kidnappers were wearing. And because of what was described, you’re not so sure how much weight to put into it, as it sounded a bit ridiculous.

These witnesses described the kidnappers as wearing owl masks.

Which, at first, you thought was a bit fucking absurd. Owls? But when you thought about it for more than thirty seconds, you remembered that’s probably the least absurd thing you’ve seen around Gotham. With that thought in mind, you began a long deep dive into Google to find out more about the owl masks.

And unfortunately for you, owl masks gotham city wasn’t exactly yielding the results you were looking for. At one point in your research, you had to get another cup of coffee and pace around your apartment to keep from blowing a gasket.

So, here you are, several hours later, reading through old Gotham town records trying to find some mention of owl masks. You’d combed to the 1800s before you found anything you felt was remotely relevant.

The Court of Owls.

Huh. In your (limited) research into Gotham, you hadn’t heard of them before. A few searches into academic databases didn’t yield anything worth wasting time over. When you put it into Google, the only thing you found worthwhile was a book available at Gotham City Library.

Well, time to get a library card.

As you’re packing up a tote bag to go, you wonder if this is just a wild goose chase. If those witnesses were traumatized, they saw an owl nearby, and their brains created a weird connection. But now the issue is you need to know. That little voice in the back of your head isn’t letting this one go, and you can’t lie and say you don’t want to know what the hell is going on around here.

As you’re getting your shoes on, you hear your phone ding.

Tim: Hey, are you free to come over and work on the project later?

You: Yes! I have a couple errands to run, I can text you when I’m done

Tim: Sounds great.

The building in front of you looked more like an old church than a library. You idly wonder if it’s considered a landmark as you heave open one of the heavy double doors and enter the ornate space. As you approach the front desk, you’re met with an older woman in bright red glasses with a smile on her face. You think that this is the first time you’ve seen some southern hospitality up here.

“Hi, dear. What can I do for you?”

“Hi. Just a library card.”

It’s a quick, easy process. You hand over your ID, and a few moments later, she hands it back along with a fresh library card. You feel like an official Gothamite as you look it over. Everything feels so… official now. Set in stone. You really live here now.

“Anything else I can do for you?” She asks, and as much as you hate asking for anything, this place is way too large for you to find anything you’re looking for in a reasonable amount of time.

“Actually, I’m looking for a book, but I’m not sure where I’d find it. It’s, um,” you open your phone to make sure you get the name right. “Gotham Secret Societies Volume Two.”

You watch as her face contorts into confusion as she thinks for a moment before she nods. “We actually have an entire Gotham History section, I’m sure it’s in there. Follow me.”

She makes her way around the desk and leads you around the opulent, labyrinthian hallways. You wonder if you’ll be able to make it out of here without a guide. It’s hard to pay attention to the route when you’re distracted by stained glass windows and antique light fixtures.

She stops after entering a doorless entryway to a small room packed wall to wall with bookshelves.

“If we have any book related to Gotham, it’ll be here. Can I do anything else for you?”

You shake your head. “That’s it. Thank you so much.”

You take a deep breath before starting at the left-hand wall. You’ve got quite a bit to look through, but your spirits lift when you realize the books are in alphabetical order. Upon that realization, it doesn’t take you long to get where you need to be. You skip a few bookshelves to get to the Gs, and you’re able to find it pretty quickly after that.

As you pull it from the shelf, you flip it around to give it a once-over. It’s clearly pretty old, but still in good shape for a library book. You decide to flip open to the table of contents to see what’s in store for you, when you hear your name being stage whispered from behind you. Your head snaps up, and you look around to find the source of the sound.

There, at the entryway, you see Jason with two books in one of his hands. He’s got a grin on his face, and he waves slightly before he makes his way over to you. “Hey. Fancy running into you here. What d’you have there?”

Your face goes warm before you respond. “Hi. Good to see you. It’s, um, for a research project.” You flash him the cover, and he chuckles.

“Volume two, huh? Sounds riveting. Hey, I know a couple in the free masons if you need a source.”

Your brow quirks. Money, connections—what does this family not have? “I’m not sure if I do, but I’ll definitely let you know.” You pause, looking down and trying to figure out what books are in his hand. “What’d you get? I figured you had all the books you wanted at home.”

Jason laughed, a haughty sound that you couldn’t help but smile at. “I wish. I got the demon an anime book, and I got this for me.” He turns the book around, giving you a good look at the cover of Brave New World.

“You ever read anything from this century?”

A look of mock offense takes over Jason’s face as he struggles to stifle his smile. “You little—I’m not letting you get away with that.”

“What are you gonna do? Bore me to death by reading me one of your books?”

“Oh, that’s it, get over here.”

You let out a quiet yelp before bolting to the other side of the room. You weave in between bookshelves, hoping to lose him. As you look back to see if you can spot him, you run into something solid. You can’t help the surprised sound that leaves your mouth, and you drop the book and your phone to the ground.

“Gotcha.” Jason’s grinning as he leans down to grab your stuff. When he stands to his full height to hand them to you, he speaks again. “I wasn’t trying to be nosy, but your phone keeps vibrating.”

You smile. “Thanks.”

Tim: What’s up?

You: All done. I can head your way now

Tim: Need me to send a car?

You: Don’t worry about it

You look up at Jason, an attempt at puppy dog eyes covering your expression. He rolls his eyes expectantly. “Can I get a ride?”

“Of course, sweetheart. You’re lucky I didn’t take the bike today. Follow me.”

When you arrive at the manor, Jason opens the car door for you before you even realize he has gotten out. With a shy smile, you tell him thank you. He gives you a shy smile in return. Your face heats up, and you look at your shoes.

He opens the front door for you, and there stands Tim, an amused expression on his face.

“I guess that’s why you didn’t need a car.” He says. You give him an apologetic smile and he shakes his head. “Come on, let’s go finish this thing.” Tim turns around, expecting you to follow. You do, only you turn around to get one last look at Jason. He’s staring right back at you, a small smile on his face the whole time. You finally have to look away when you get to the stairs.

As you stare at Tim’s back, following him to the library, you can’t help but think about how kind Jason has been to you. He’s sweet, a quality you’re not used to seeing in men. Of course, you’ve only really spoken to him at surface level, but you really do like him so far. And his family seems to adore him, and that says a lot, too, you think. Despite how… chaotic they may seem on the outside, you can tell they all have a strong bond that’s very important to them. Seeing all fifty (exaggeration, you’re aware, but sometimes it feels like it) family members each regard Jason with the same reverence makes it easy to feel the same way about him.

You’re literally snapped out of your reverie by Tim’s hand in your face, as you’ve come to a full stop in front of the table in the library. Your face feels warm as you unload your bag and plop into a chair. Tim chuckles.

“What?” You ask, confused by his prying eyes as you open your laptop.

“Oh, come on. You showed up here with Jason and you’re just not gonna tell me what happened?” His eyes are alight with excitement. You hate to burst his bubble. (And your own.)

“It wasn’t like that. We ran into each other at the library and I asked him for a ride.” You tell him, loading up the project document on your laptop. He rolls his eyes.

“But you want it to be like that, right?”

“I mean…” You can feel your face go hot. “How could I not?” You put your elbows on the table and bury your face in your hands. Muffled, you say, “can we change the subject now?”

“Yeah, let’s finish this so you can go hang out with Jason more.”

You groan, Tim chuckles. After a brief pause, he speaks again.

“Seriously, though?” He says, and you sober up out of your embarrassment for a moment to pay attention. “He’s a great person, and he doesn’t… take interest in other people that often. I just think, whatever it is, it’d be good for the both of you.”

It was finally about 7 p.m. when the project came to a close and you were both satisfied with the finished product. It was exhausting, a lot of back and forth and finding sources for everything, but you were glad to have it completed so you could dedicate your time to other projects.

Like those fucking owls. As much as you’ve tried to stay focused while working on this project with Tim, there’s a part of your brain just itching to go home and crack open this book. This was the only tangible mention of The Court of Owls, and you were determined to follow this trail. Even if it leads to a dead end.

“You staying for dinner?” Tim asks, breaking you from your (obsessive) thoughts. You let out a sigh before you could control it—as great as dinner at the manor would be, you also neglected all your other schoolwork today.

“As much as I’d love to, I’ve got four billion assignments due by Sunday, and if I don’t start making a dent in them now, they’ll never get finished.”

Tim shakes his head, waving off your apologetic tone. “I get it. It’s like they purposely overload us this time of year. Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

After loading your stuff back into your tote, you follow Tim out of the library and down the stairs. You perk up when you hear Jason’s voice in the foyer. Tim notices, ever the watchful eye, and you try to ignore the knowing smirk on his face by focusing on Jason’s voice.

“…think they’d follow us the whole—hey sweetheart. You staying for dinner?” Jason’s attention so quickly goes from his conversation with Alfred to you that you worry he’s given himself whiplash. The amused smile on Alfred’s face tells you he doesn’t mind.

“Hi to you too,” Tim says, poking Jason in the shoulder as he walks past him, and Jason retaliates by slapping him upside the head.

“I see you all the time.” The sour look on Jason’s face leaves immediately as he turns his attention back to you. “Dinner? It’s homemade pizza.”

You groan. “You’re making this so hard for me, I really need to go home.”

Alfred chimes in this time, “You’re sure we can’t convince you?”

With a sigh, you say, “Unfortunately, no. Believe me, if I had the time, I’d much prefer to be here.”

“At least let me drive you then,” Jason says, already fishing around in his pocket for his keys. You begin to shake your head, already writing that idea off.

“No, you don’t have to—”

“I insist, come on.” You give him a look, and he gives you one back, to the point where you both have a mini standoff to see who will break first. It still doesn’t look like you’re going to budge, so he says, “Just let me do this for you. Please?”

And fuck, how can you say no to that?

You just nod and follow his cues to say goodbye to Tim and Alfred. You ignore the sly smile on Tim’s face as you give them your goodbyes. You and Jason make your way to the garage, and get into the same flashy red sports car he put you in at the library. When you buckle in, he asks for your address, and you easily give it to him.

“Oh, Roy’s place. Cool.” He says as he begins pulling out of the never-ending driveway.

“Y’know, Tim said the same thing, but I’ve still yet to meet this Roy.”

“I’ll introduce you, don’t worry. Oh, hey, did you guys finish that project?”

You fall into easy conversation with him about school work and weather and just about anything else that pops into your mind. It just flows with him, you think, as you can’t help but stare at him while his attention is on the road. He’s so easy to talk to that you don’t even realize you’ve made it to your apartment building until he parallel parks the car and absolutely books it to make sure you don’t have to open your own door.

It’s sweet, and you can’t help your face heating up as you give him a small thank you. He shuts the car door behind you and walks with you to the door of your building.

“Thanks for the ride, I really appreciate it.” You smile up at him, unable to contain it even if you wanted to.

“It’s no problem, really, I wanted to make sure you got home safe.” He pauses, taking a deep breath and looking at his feet before returning to look in your eyes. “I also wanted to ask if you would maybe… want to go to dinner tomorrow night? There’s this Italian place that’s really good, but if you—”

“I’d love to go to dinner with you, Jason.” You’re grinning, one of those cheek-splitting smiles you just can’t help. He smiles back, and the look in his eye gives you butterflies. Everything about him gives you butterflies.

“I’ll pick you up at seven, if that works?”

“That’s perfect.”

His smile, if possible, grows even wider. “Perfect.”

“Goodnight, Jason.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

You turn to scan your key, and he’s there to open the door for you. As it shuts, you give him a wave goodbye. He returns it as he walks backward toward his car, a matching grin on his face.

And when he finally can’t see you anymore, you break out into a happy dance. Dance might be a generous word for it, as you were far too excited to put any thought into what you were doing. You’re too busy jumping up and down to notice the elevator beeping to signal its arrival, or the man hopping off the elevator and stopping in the hallway to watch you with an amused look on his face.

“You good?”

You jump, startled, turning to face the voice. With his red hair, trucker hat, and tank top combo, he reminds you of the kind of men you saw back home. The familiarity puts you at ease. “Hi. Very good. Sorry.”

He laughs, shaking his head. “Good.”

When he exits through the front door, you continue your happy dance.

#jason todd fanfiction #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #red hood x reader #red hood x you

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chairofchaos · 4 months

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coney island

Summary: Sitting on a bench in Coney Island/Wondering "Where did my baby go?" A walk through reader's relationship with Ruhn Danaan, from its start to its heartbreaking silent finish. Inspired a bit by coney island; Lyrics (in italics) from Taylor Swift's "coney island" feat. The National

A/N: You can decide whether this one is a blessing or a curse on your dash. (I just wanted to feel something lmao) Read the warnings y'all, this one needed them.

Pairing: Ruhn Danaan/Reader but yk... breakup fic... so...

Warnings: Sibling loss (reader's, not Ruhn's). Mentions of Ruhn's childhood abuse at the hands of the Autumn King. Mentions of sexual activity. Implied addiction to alcohol and drugs. All hurt, no comfort. Everyone's traumatized and/or grieving

Divider from @saradika (I reblogged her post with this one if you look- it's tagged #@/saradika)

If I can't relate to you anymore then who am I related to?

And if this was the long haul, how did we get here so soon?

Three years.

It had been three years and seven months since you had run into each other, Ruhn grinning up at his little sister where she perched atop his shoulders observing the carnival sprawled across the park.

Bryce had cotton candy in her hand, a piece the pink and blue fluff stuck to her brown cheek. You'd taken the opportunity to say hi, recognizing both your old friend and his little sister. Bryce was your sister's friend, and you had met her a few months earlier at your sister's birthday party in Nidaros. You hadn't realized the connection until you saw them together.

Three years, you and Ruhn had loved each other. And there were the thirty-odd years before that, when you had let the memory of his kind eyes swirl in your brain as you remembered your childhood friend in his sweetest moments. Those moments, he had later admitted to you, were the shining lights in some of those darkest of days of life living under the abusive control of Einar Danaan.

Will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

Ruhn apparently couldn't be bothered to care anymore, too caught up in the life he was trying to lead; too caught up in trying to disappoint his father as much as possible.

And yet I can't find it in me to blame him, you thought with a pang of agony in your chest.

It had been about six months after your first date that Ruhn had shared the surface of the wells of agony his father had inflicted on him all of those years ago.

You had lit your favorite candle, a rich scent of fall to celebrate the fall equinox. Ruhn had walked into your living room that evening and, blanching, asked you to extinguish it with a haunted look.

Instead of celebrating, you two spent the early evening curled up on the couch. You would never forget his hushed voice whispering the reasoning for the tattoos covering his arms, the real origin of the red scar on his chest he couldn't quite get to fade. You had cried for him, with him, as he held you tight to his chest. You promised you would be there for him, no matter what. You promised you would never tell a single soul what he suffered.

The night had grown, and he had pulled you gently towards your bed, kissing you and bringing you to bed with a gentleness you had always known was there and hoped would resurface someday.

In the darkness of that room, you had whispered promises into his skin, to love him, all of him, however long it took him to share. He had promised to open his heart to you. He promised to love you and to hold you close, never keeping you in the dark as to what he needed. He promised you a place to turn in your darkness, the same as you had offered him.

In the last six months since of the sudden death of your little sister, he seemed to have forgotten those promises. You had both promised your best, forgetting how easily you could both be your worst.

When I got into the accident

The sight that flashed before me was your face

You had called him that day. Sobbing into the phone, you asked him to come home, to come help you put your shattered heart back together. He had. To his credit, he had rescheduled the rest of the things he had to do that day. He had cared for you, and both of you had cared for Bryce. He loved that about you, had loved the care you had for his little sister from the moment you met her.

Three nights later, however, he had returned to his drinking, joining Declan and Flynn in getting drunk and high instead of being there for you the night before your sister's funeral.

The memory of his drunken return to your home six months ago had played out again in real time as Ruhn had stumbled in at 4am this morning. His full-volume curses as he had tripped over the corner of the couch where you slept were the extent of his bitter greeting.

You had watched as he stumbled down the hall, never actually acknowledging your presence. You had wanted to wait up to make sure he was safe as he came home to the apartment you had picked out together a year ago with his promise that he would get it together, just a little bit. He had promised.

Ruhn had almost dropped the glass he tried to retrieve from the cabinet in a sad facsimile of drunken self care. He had managed to get it full of water. He drank it, and then walked up the stairs, not a single word spoken in recognition of your tired form waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

Hours later, he still slept in the bed you had shared less and less over the last few months. His snores reached your ears in the kitchen in spite of the afternoon sun on his face. He would sleep off the hangover that, if not for his Vanir healing, he would likely have had for two days.

That had been the last straw for you.

He had promised.

Instead of enjoying that life he had promised you would build together, here you were, a box of your things on the dining room table as you retrieved the glass he had nearly broken from the drying mat next to the sink, and packed it away.

The apartment was his. Most of what was in it was yours.

He had kept his room at the house he, Declan, and Flynn had purchased years ago. You had never really noticed until now how few of his things were here, how much he hadn't invested into this place that was supposed to be for the two of you, together. That pain of agony at the idea of leaving for good melted in the growing fire of anger banking in your body, in your blood.

Maybe he had never cared, you thought glumly, carrying the boxes out to your car. Maybe he had never intended to keep this life with you. Maybe it had all been a placeholder.

Lost again with no surprises

Disappointments close your eyes

The sun sank closer to the horizon as you slammed your trunk shut, blinking up at those quiet windows. There was no indication of him stirring, even as you slipped the key off your key ring and went on one last walk up the stairs to the door you used to rejoice at the sight of.

You slipped it into the envelope with his name on it. The key, that last sign of promises broken, joined the letter you had written him, asking him to care for himself. It told him you wished him the best, but that you simply could not live this way anymore.

You would go to your parents in Nidaros. You told him so, asking him not to contact you if he came to visit Bryce. They needed help in their grief. They needed you home. And so your final goodbye to him was as silent, an echo of his responses to your pleas for him to care about something, anything, over the last few weeks.

And it gets colder and colder

When the sun goes down

When Ruhn would finally wake after sunset, he would find no vanilla candle (your second favorite scent, the one he had bought you as a replacement for the favorite you had thrown away for him) burning. The nails in the wall would hold up no pictures. The kitchen would have no dishes. It would be a shell of a home.

He would find that sealed envelope with his name written in thick, bold letters, as if your hand had pressed your anger and heartbreak into the writing of his name, that one final goodbye. He wouldn't know it had been to keep your hand from shaking. You tried not to consider his reaction, if he would even notice the tearstain on the corner from the tear you hadn't managed to wipe away in time.

He would have a few pictures of you: the one on his bedside table of you and Bryce laughing at each other with paint on your fingers and faces; the one he kept tucked in his wallet of you and him kissing in a photo booth at a carnival. He would have the sheets and blankets on the bed, the furniture.

He wouldn't have you, and you would never again have him.

You promised.

#no beta we die like this relationship #ruhn danaan breakup #ruhn danaan angst #ruhn danaan x reader #crescent city angst #angst #hurt no comfort #ruhn danaan fanfic #ruhn danaan x you #have a finished work while I keep working on all the other wips this wednesday #ruhnweek24 #my work #fictionalchaos

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rhaemaya-valwynn · 2 years

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Warm my Soul- Naga!6Taro x Y/N Chapter-1

Hello everyone! I recently got inspired to write a Naga!6taro x Y/N fic and uhhh, spat out 5.8k fic (its a first chapter actually! I got way too inspired with it!)

CW!!- This fic contains sensitive topics like: the mishandling of animals (mostly reptiles), poor health, wounds needing medical care, anorexia, mentions of physical/sexual abuse of creatures that aren’t human (nothing is fully explained in detail) and a traumatized Y/N who saw something terrible (not explained and left for readers interpretation)

Please respect our reptile friends!

The Speedwagon Foundation was a beautiful, humane endeavor to breach cryptid and human life together. To provide care and a safe environment for their race to live and reproduce without hostile outside interference.

These 'hostiles' are also known as poachers and tamers. Poachers are those that kill and take till nothing is left. Harvesting off the creatures till many were extinct for bobbles and panaceas that genuinely did nothing. Tamers, though are a different breed of terrible altogether. They stole and sold live cryptids as pets or 'partners.'

All of it made you sick when they taught it in school when you were much younger. Imagining your life taken away from you, to be someone's forced pet thing or...lover. You wouldn't stand for it. At first, you tried to become an investigator for cryptids to try and save those in dire immediate need... but that ended in disaster on your first project as a trainee under a higher, more learned individual.

You'll never forget what you saw until the end of your days.

Four years of college went into the garbage in one night. Thankfully the Speedwagon Foundation found you. Namely Caesar Zeppeli, who saw your aptitude for love and care and offered you a starting position as a caregiver for cryptids in their healthcare facility. You had to restart college, but the job came with the perk of paying the previous debt and giving you a clean slate.

Caesar Zeppeli was sure one hell of a man of his word. He inherited the Speedwagon Foundation after the passing of Robert E. O. Speedwagon and was heavily involved in its continuation and improvement. That included ensuring his employees and staff were up to snuff and had the proper morals for the work needed.

It was five am, and you were clocking into work for the day. A triple shot espresso was practically fused to your lips as you lugged your book-laden backpack through the employee lounge. A second sealed coffee mug was hidden inside your book bag, designated for your friend, along with a small bag of Japanese goodies. Truthfully, being thirty-three and still in college was rough. Having to balance school life, homework, and a full-time job was killer. Normally you'd never bring school work to actual work, but it was Thursday, which meant a chance to kill two birds with one stone.

Every Thursday was your turn to handle the half snake-man Jotaro.

Formally called a Naga, he was one of the oldest residents in the SPW Cryptid home, similar to a rehabilitation center for endangered Cryptids. Having been put in since he was twelve after being rescued from a group of tamers, the forty-year-old snake-man was the toughest one to care for in the entire facility. Aloof and distant, while significantly less violent than he was during his youth, Jotaro still kept his distance and was quite hostile to anyone he did not like.

Somehow, you had managed to warm him up to you. You honestly didn't know how, given that the first time you met him was an absolute disaster. It felt like almost yesterday and not a whole year and a half ago. You had forgotten to wash your uniform the previous night after it was trashed by a fae that had gotten annoyed with you refusing to give your name to it the previous day. Meaning all you had to work in was some clean sweatpants and an oversized T-Shirt from your ex-boyfriend.

But that didn't stop there. This was not to mention the fact that you had overslept and were bolting into work at the last minute like a ghoul in a graveyard. You had snuck in a few college books into work with you that day as several classes were to happen directly after you got off, and you were hoping to study on break or in between residents.

When you were greeted by Angela, the woman you were trainee under, you couldn't help but feel your mouth sour. She was dressed to the nines, all cleavage, and painted makeup like a model on a runway. Angela lifted an immaculate eyebrow at you. "You sure you wanna wear that, Y/N?" she asked in a confused and somewhat demeaning manner.

"Sorry, it's all I got today," you confessed, though irritated as she was not wearing the regulated uniform either. What is this? Why are you dressed like-

"Whatever, your funeral, kid. We're taking care of Jotaro today," She said with a heavy hint of, 'sorry, not sorry,' before tossing a binder at you that was thick like the bible. "Read up. We'll be going into his enclosure in fifteen. We're to encourage him to eat his breakfast. Though, uh, best to stay out of sight looking like that. He might lose his appetite." Wrinkling your nose at the word enclosure, which was considered a 'no-no' in the Cryptid world, you finally understood what was going on. Jotaro was the neighborhood hot Naga. Every female employee and some males gushed over him like a fangirl, talking about things that should have been well left alone. It was as if no one had self-control or somewhat decency that this was a living being with sentience and more to him than sex appeal, but most importantly, a person under their care for health reasons.

You hadn't met him yet, but you pitied the Naga. Miranda, another coworker with more experience and a better sane approach to the snake-man, had told you Jotaro has been a tough case. She wasn't allowed to go into detail due to HIPAA and you not being on his care team yet, but she had warned you to treat him with the utmost consideration and respect. "He really deserves our patience and delicate approach. The man just needs some peace and quiet too." Miranda mused quietly before leaving you to your thoughts.

As much as it irritated you, you weren't here to police rules and force people to act a certain way. You tried that before, and look how well that went. So you had kept yourself quiet during everyone's feral ramblings during your first few months.

But today seemed to be running you for your money's worth. Huffing angrily, you began to flip through the bible of patient history, reading up on Jotaro's basic needs and requirements as you tried to figure out a way to alert someone higher up about Angela's... Apparel. But you were stopped in your train of thought as you bit your lip at all the red markings on the front page, each indicating healthcare issues needing immediate addressing.

Weight was a big one, as it looked like he had a history of not wanting to eat due to-

Ah, you stopped reading immediately and flipped the page, refusing to read his past as images of 'that incident' during your investigator years came to mind. The following pages were more reds, several on social interactions, showing that Jotaro had a high intelligence but poor social skill and an unwillingness to communicate or talk with anyone. Hygiene was another thing, not that he was filthy, but he was so large that he had difficulty washing all of himself in one go. Due to Naga's naturally cold-bloodedness, given that they are like snakes, they are inclined to be lethargic when not warmed up. A statement in the report said he refused to rest in the designated warming rocks or soak in the hot spring, meaning that Jotaro easily over-exerted himself due to his sheer size. Even though he is marked down as being half the weight he should be at.

There were several marked areas for sores from poor self-care needing tending, but that was to be done by a fully registered Cryptid nurse and not a caregiver. There was a big note saying to offer an aided shower and lotion whenever someone had the chance, even if the refusal marks neared the hundreds from the past month.

Another page skipped on the explanation of why.

You were halfway through the bible, skimming as fast as you could when Angela came back in. "Time's up. Let's go." she didn't even bother waiting for you, immediately leaving. Cursing yourself for losing track of time while reading and missing the opportunity to alert someone, you hurried to catch up. Pulling the bible to your chest, you raced after her, easily finding her by the click of her heels which made your eye twitch in aggravation. She sprayed a foul-smelling perfume and applied three layers of bright red lipstick as you trodded behind her.

Jotaro's home was a massive circular room within the facility, a mile long (1.6 kilometers) and 1.5 miles wide (2.4 kilometers), all made to replicate his natural habitat, the Amazon forest. One might wonder why the Speedwagon Foundation would put so much effort into maintaining one Cryptid, but given that Naga's were some of the most endangered species, you didn't find it problematic that the room was to be an exact imitation of a tropical rainforest. What was an issue was that this Angela would walk in with nine-inch heels into a fucking man-made nature preserve and try to woe an ill half-snake-man. You wanted to throttle the bitch so bad, but you needed this job, and violence was not in your nature.

You prayed someone would notice the both of you in the hallways, but it was as if she timed it just right to miss everyone. So you did the next best thing and wished karma on her. Something that was easily within the margins of acceptable action for you.

Part of you wondered how Caesar let someone like this in, but you realized he was only one man and couldn't prevent all the bad, no matter how hard he tried. Grunting to yourself as your sneakers squeaked on the white tiled floor, you came to a stop near a double wood door marked, 'Jotaro Kujo.' A green tab had been pulled from the nameplate with the picture of a turkey on a plate, meaning that the chefs had already served Jotaro's food.

You hoped that someone was watching the cameras in his home, that someone would alert someone higher about what was to transpire. Every hallway and Cryptid room was filled with cameras, so if a caretaker got injured or something happened to upset the resident, someone could come and help before injury happened to either.

Angela didn't hesitate or prep talks you through what was to happen, causing your eye to twitch again in anger as she pushed a button next to it, and the door pulled open. The thing was actually metal and not wood, being much thicker than you anticipated as it split open and pulled to either side. Immediately, you felt the humid heat of the imitation tropical rainforest hit you, along with the sound of exotic birds singing and soft rain pattering. Eyebrows shooting up, you barely had time to register that the forest had actual animals and weather simulation in it before noticing that Angela had left you.

Shoving the patient records into your backpack for protection, you rushed after her, carefully maneuvering across the roots and overgrowth. Ferns and vines brushed against you as you tried to respect the man-made wonder. Thankfully it wasn't raining too much, the fake overhead sky a dull grey of rolling clouds and peeking sunshine. It seemed to be more misting than anything. The accumulated water dripped off the massive trees and down into the forest floor. Perhaps a way to try and aid recovery for Jotaro as the bible-patient file had stated his scales were dry and brittle and needed moisture badly. You stopped several times to stare in wonder at the colorful orchids that decorated several of the trees. You never imagined that the little orchid at your home in its pot from the store actually came from tropical rainforests, but here they were in their natural glory. It felt like an episode of 'how its made.' Just more nature in a semi-natural habitat than a twinkie being made.

You subtly notice several cameras along the way but note that no call was sounded, which concerned you. Did Angela leave her work phone in the employee lounge? With a shudder, you clench your hands into fists and turn to your trainer.

Angela paid no heed to you, leaving you behind as she was set on her prize. Your worn sneakers, thankfully, had enough traction to keep you from slipping. That could not be said for her, as Angela was getting her stilettos stuck in the soft, wet dirt and nearly eating shit every two steps.

Part of you wanted to openly laugh, but mostly you wished she would see how utterly ridiculous she looked. This was someone who was sick and needed help, and yet here was a forty-year-old woman about to flaunt herself at him like a hot dog in lingerie. Right as your anger got the best of you and you went to tell her off, you came to a standstill, mouth agape. Angela had pulled back a large fern to reveal a massive clearing with a large pile of flat rocks stacked on one another. Below the heap was a gargantuan burrow hole big enough to fit a truck through.

It went down deep into the earth with a subtle steam rising from it as the heat from below mixed with the mist and made a stickier vapor. Lights dimly glowed along the pathway downward, highlighting the red brick walls and cream-colored tiled floor. This meant that the burrow wasn't just a mud hole in the ground, but a structure meant to replicate both human living and meet the needs of a half-snake man. Part of you was slightly relieved that you wouldn't be crawling into some dark, dank pit with a Naga that was about to become more agitated than a chihuahua in a plastic bag.

Angela went down, shaking her feet in an attempt to get the mud off while you tapped yours against the outside entrance and scrapped the bottoms off on a welcome mat, a sneer on your face at the mess she was leaving. The tunnel went down quite a ways, probably three meters, in a soft circular incline. Warmth and mist emanated from every crevice. It made your shirt slick against your back where your backpack rested. Lights once dim flickered to life and brightened when you neared the end, which was a massive green round door.

You almost snorted. It looked like a hobbit entrance for Bilbo or Frodo Baggins. Angela didn't even knock as she opened the door and cheerfully called out, "Jotaro! I'm here for breakfast!" There was no immediate response, but your ears pricked at the sound of something being set down harshly. Your stomach churned harshly as a deep voice muttered angrily from inside, much more baritone than any other voice you'd ever heard, including your father, and he was a wall of a man!

Moving forward, you grabbed Angela by the arm, "Angela..." You went to tell her not to do this, but she had a sickening smile on her face, too sweet and creepy.

"Do not ruin this for me. I worked too hard for it," Angela said as she pushed your hand off her and slipped past the door like an eel. You almost lost your breakfast at the anxiety. Looking around desperately, you spotted a camera and began to wave frantically at it, hoping someone was paying attention.

Sadly, the camera did not move side to side to indicate being noticed and that help was on the way per the instructions during orientation. You heard a low growl from inside, and you practically bolted in to separate them despite whatever was happening.

Only when you got two feet past the door, you came to a screeching halt as you saw the Naga for yourself. You'd never seen one before, and by God, you were probably looking at the biggest one known to society. You never imagined they could get this big, and reading that Jotaro was severely malnourished made your legs tremble. Jotaro was curled up on a pile of multicolored pillows on a raised platform that made you silently wish they sold to the public, being that they were gargantuan and stuffed enough to support his massive but frail body. His human half was propped up by his arms on his snake half. Being that of a large male in his late thirties, bulky and broad-chested, though sadly, he looked as if where rippling muscle should have been was thin and almost frail looking.

Almost.

Everything about his human half seemed hardened and sharp lines. Jotaro had messy raven locks that ran down his face and squared jaw, obscuring his dull aquamarine eyes that had narrowed in anger and disgust. His thick lips pulled back as a low hiss escaped him, his tongue not even flickering out. His pupils were slits, honed, and focused on Angela like an angry animal ready to strike. Jotaro wore a ragged old white trench coat almost the same shade as his human skin that went down to his low snake half, a black turtle neck with a golden pin with a hand symbol, and a white hat that mystically merged into his hair that also bore the same insignia. All wore clear signs of wear and tear, as the white was dull and faded, with the edges frayed and tattered.

The Naga half of him was enormous. At least nine meters long, the dull yellow scales with patches of darker shapes similar to Boa Constrictors. It started from where his hips were, like some Rapunzel fantasy but snake half instead of hair. Corded, the wall of muscle half a meter tall and half a meter wide, though, from your knowledge of snakes, severely underweight. While the spine was visible, Jotaro's snake half was more triangular than rounded, pronouncing his spine and ribs to the point they almost seemed to threaten to pierce the skin in several areas. You took keen notice of the dry and cracked scales along his body, and the wounds wrapped tightly in bandages that seeped medicine. Each scale is the size of your fist. Several spots showed the inflamed skin underneath. Jotaro was breathing heavily, clearly agitated as his tail and lower half continued to move and shift, even though he seemed so exhausted and tired.

"How are you doing, Jotaro?" Angela asked, not paying heed to his display of aggression as she stepped closer. To your surprise, he didn't say anything, merely watched in fury and loathing. Jotaro pulled back from her as she grabbed another plate of food from the dining tray, filled with cooked meats cut into small pieces and coated in something that smelled quite foul. Most likely a weight powder or some sort of vitamin, maybe both. Angela plopped down right next to him, leaning against his snake half and propping her breasts up for full display.

It was official. Your jaw hit the floor. Standing there in horror, you realized you had to do something. Looking around wildly, you tried to find the call light, something to get someone's attention, even if it meant you had to race back to the office and drag a guard's sorry ass to this. Trying not to be obvious, you began to inch around the outskirts of the room as Jotaro glared so openly at her that you were surprised she hadn't spontaneously combusted. The room was circular in nature but devoid of most life of an average person, replaced with medical machinery and tables upon tables of medical supplies.

Scooting further, you spotted a group of cords and one that held a small knob to its end. Trying not to bolt for it, you carefully reached out as discreetly as possible as Angela tried to hand-feed Jotaro a slice of meat from her plate, making cooing noises as she tried to get him to eat. You almost gagged alongside Jotaro, who seemed to have lost even more color from his pale frame. Your hand finally touched the call light, fingers snatching the thing in a death grip as you pressed the button like you were trying to win a mash-it rhythm game.

A little red light turned on behind them, which made you blanch and hope they didn't notice.

"So, how are you doing, handsome?" Angela asked, pushing the slice of meat closer to his lips, the justices seeping down her fingers. "You seem tense today." Jotaro sneered and tried to shift away from her but couldn't due to his weakened state, his lower half keeping him pinned there due to its massive size. You clicked the call light twice more, praying for an intervention of some sort. An angelic invasion, hell, you'd take a demon bursting from the ground to save you from the agony of watching this unfold. You wish your legs weren't shaking so badly that you felt like nearly buckling under your weight.

If only you were braver. Maybe you could intervene and do something more. But the images of that scene kept playing in your mind, making your brain act on flight or fight reflexes and all it wanted to do was leave. Jotaro let out a low hiss as Angela cupped his face. Fist clenched, Jotaro tried to shove her but only managed to slightly push her away. Sweat began to roll down your back and face as Jotaro raised his hackles as Angela grabbed his face again and started to move in for a kiss. You trembled uncontrollably, desperately trying to will yourself forward, when the front door suddenly slammed open.

Five people were there, two you recognized immediately. There was Doctor Kyoshi, the security monitor Phil, and three unknown male Cryptid guards. You feared they were misinterpreting the situation for a moment, given that the guards were dressed entirely in black Cryptid riot gear with long silver taser polearms, but their attention was not on Jotaro. Doctor Kyoshi was a massive woman with long brown hair tied into a tightly knitted bun. She wore thick makeup that made her look fierce, and her Doctor's uniform was thick and laden with protective scales and medical tools. She looked ready for war, especially with her hate-filled gaze as she slid a scalpel into her front pocket. "Angela River Brown, just what in God's name are you doing?" Kyoshi growled so low that you jumped and dropped the call light.

Angela looked utterly shocked, eyes wide like a fox trapped in a bear trap. When they slowly turned to the noise of the call light hitting the floor, Angela's jaw fell open as she spotted it and jerked her head to stare at you with utter horror and fury. "Y-YOU!"

Fear prickled all over you as adrenaline hit like a truck. The flight reaction was so strong that when she launched the plate from her lap at you with a howl, you dove behind Kyoshi, who slapped it away like a gnat as the guards charged in and grabbed Angela like a writhing fish. One kept his weapon pointed to Jotaro, ready to defend in case the Naga attacked, but it was held tentatively, hands loose on the metal. Angela cried out in pain as they dragged her across the floor, uncaring of the mess they made along the way.

The guards took her kicking and screaming, not stopping as they moved through the door, into the tunnel, and onward. Kyoshi huffed angrily, which caused Phil, a short, thin twig of a man with sandy hair, to jump, sweat rolling down his face as he saluted the Doctor as she stomped past him. "Mr.Kujo, " she rumbled, low but delicate in placing the words. Jotaro turned to her with a tired gaze and waited for her questions. "Did she-"

"No, nothing more than trying to kiss me." He said, slowly deflating as his own adrenaline left his body.

"Mmm, how long has this been going on for?" Kyoshi asked, folding her arms when Jotaro refused to answer. Sighing, she turned to Phil and said, "Go alert Pam to send a psychiatrist in. We got to start the paperwork. What time is it?" she rumbled, sounding very irritated and tired all at once.

"Eight-forty-five in the morning, Ma'am." Phil stammered, looking at his watch like it would save him from being drilled further.

"Too early for this bullshit-" Kyoshi snarled, snatching the call light and walking it over to Jotaro. He refused to take it, but she set it within reach and turned away. Marching like a soldier going to war, she snapped her fingers at both you and Phil.

You knew immediately the 'we' she meant was all three of you reporting your 'findings.' Which meant recounting why the hot dog in lingerie had made it this far without someone saying something. You gulped loudly and stumbled after her, glancing back to notice that Jotaro had collapsed onto himself but was watching you with a stony look. "Y/N!" Kyoshi called, causing you to leap after her impatient form.

The walk back to Kyoshi's office was like being walked to your death sentence. The threat of being fired was written on the walls, especially with how Phil was wringing his hands and scrunched up like an armadillo, ready to hide in its shell.

Kyoshi opened the door, beckoning both of you into the small room before slamming the door shut and letting out the loudest bull snort you'd ever heard in your life. Inside looked like a typical doctor's office. A massive desk in the center with a laptop and endless paperwork piled around every surface like tissue paper. The walls were lined with thousands of awards and degrees of excellence from her forty years of experience. "Phil!" She snapped, causing the little man to prostrate himself on the ground. "Oh, for the love of God, get up!" Phil shakily got up, quaking so bad that she had to pull a chair up for him to sit down.

"Ple-please don't fire me!" he sobbed, "I-I need this job-!"

Kyoshi stared like a banshee for a moment before narrowing her eyes, "You honestly think I'm here to get both of you fired?" she asked incrediously.

Phil looked to you, who was no better than him, your knees knocking against each other like two trees dancing in a windstorm. Kyoshi had the worst reputation in the entire building. A true brute, unwavering and uncompromising. She did the job to a T but wouldn't take anyone's bullshit or idle chatter. Kyoshi was aloof and brutal to her coworkers and patients. Both of you gazed briefly, interchanging a silent conversation before turning back and nodding solemnly. Both of you would not be the first she took out like a thorn in her side.

"Oh, for heaven's sake! NO! Did either of you dress like a hooker and try to seduce an ill patient that can't fight back?" Both of you shook your heads vigorously, and a quick 'no, Ma'am' chanted. "I am not going to let either of you lose your jobs over Angela's decision. Could you have stopped it sooner? Sure. But you're not paid to physically attack someone trying to seduce a Cryptid. The fact that you reported as soon as you could," she looked directly at you, "And conveyed your findings to the proper chain of command is the correct answer. Your jobs will not be threatened. I will see to that."

A massive sigh of relief came from both of you, Phil practically falling out of his chair as you slid down to sit on the floor. Kyoshi snorted again and walked around both of you, grabbing two cups and filling them with water from her personal water pitcher. Handing them out, she stood there like an omen, "Drink," she commanded. Obeying, you had never tasted such crisp cold water before in your life, nor how relieving it was to ingest it. "I want you both to write a report on what happened, what you saw, the time, and what you did. Only facts, no personal thoughts of ifs, ands, or buts. Just facts. Am I understood?" you both nodded and took the pen and paper she handed both of you. "Good, take your time. I need to start my own report and make a few phone calls. God, Caesar isn't going to be happy about this."

"Caesar is going to know about this?" you asked in disbelief.

Kyoshi nodded, "Old family friend of Jotaro's family. It would be unwise to not let him know some of the employees he hired to care for his best friend's grandson just tried to force themselves on him in his weakened state. Especially coming from someone who had a clean record and no prior instances.... tch." Kyoshi sat at her desk with a 'thump' and opened her laptop with a flourish. "Best to keep your heads down after this. There will be a hefty investigation into this, no doubt, and we will be monitored for further instances... God damn it all, I thought we were finally getting somewhere with him..." she sighed in pain, brown eyes suddenly looking distant for a moment before focusing again, and she began to type at incredible speeds.

You and Phil eyed each other before hunkering down and writing your life out through the pens provided, giving excruciating detail to what transpired. Phil finished his within an hour before giving it to Kyoshi, who nodded and informed him to report to the front desk and take the day off, and if anyone questioned it, it was per her instruction.

You continued to write away, but when your mind was in a million places at once, thinking about Jotaro and what he must be feeling. How awful he must be feeling, how distrustful of the world he would be after this. Just like-

A hand was on your shoulder, gently shaking you. "Y/N," Kyoshi called, towering over your form. "Breathe, child, breathe," she murmured, kneeling down to hand you a clump of tissues. "It's okay to cry."

"God-No, it's not. It's just, I had-" you tried to explain, only to be gently shushed by her.

"You don't need to explain to me. I read your records. I was the person who recommended Ceasar hire you." She tutted for a moment as you stared in shock. "Don't give me that look. I ain't all fire and brimstone. What you saw with that Garuda was the worst humanity has to offer. I highly doubt anyone in your position would have stayed around, let alone still take a job taking care of Cryptids." She took your glass and stood, walking over to refill it. "You did the best you could. No one can blame you for that. Yes, if you had gotten there sooner, it might have been better, but we can't look at things like that. You made it in time today. That's what matters. You spared Jotaro any more indignity than he's already suffered. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

You felt your jaw work as you tried to say something but only cried more as she placed another wad of tissues in one hand and the glass in the other. It took you several minutes to compose yourself, Kyoshi patiently waiting next to you before she encouraged you to quell the waterworks. "Enough tears for now. Let us finish this so we might begin our work of repairing the trust that was broken today."

Nodding, you wiped your eyes furiously and picked up your pen. It took another half an hour before you were done, hand aching and several pages filled to the brim. Kyoshi nodded as you handed it over, inspecting it while you waited. When she was done, you finally piped up, asking a question that was on your mind. "Why did you bring fully armored guards when you know Jotaro wasn't the threat?"

Kyoshi huffed in annoyance, but you realized it wasn't directed at you. "Politics," she stated darkly, "It was to prevent a lawsuit if someone tried to sue for assault. Easier to say they were dragging her from an aggressive Cryptid than say they were saving a Cryptid from a tiny human female. Even if she was dressed like that, lawyers find their way to spin everything, and just because it's evident to us what happened, most people don't give a damn about Cryptids. As disgusting as it is, I did what I could to protect Jotaro from further harm, physical and mental. The last thing he needs is to be dragged to court to explain that a fully-fledged nurse was trying to have sex with him." She sneered when you made a face, "Don't give me that look. You and I know damn well that's what she was after in the end. Perverted bitch." Kyoshi spat on the ground before glumly realizing she had to clean that up. "Hand over his file and head home for the day. If anyone asks where you're at, I'll deal with them."

Grunting in agreement, you pulled the bible from your backpack and handed it off as your body was ready for sleep and a period of not thinking. As you moved to leave, you stopped when Kyoshi called your name again, "Good job today, kid. Keep your head up. Things will get better."

You sighed and nodded solemnly before closing the door. The walk home was quiet, thankfully. No one knew what transpired today, going about their own business with urgency or latent laziness. It hurt knowing people didn't care like you, but that was life. Sometimes the few had to carry the many. Once home to your small apartment, you tossed everything on the ground and plopped onto the couch. Sprawling like a starfish, you stared up at the ceiling in dismay. "Will it always be like this?" you wondered aloud.

"Always like what?" came a voice.

Jolting in place, you realized you had lost yourself in a long memory of years past while your body autopiloted you to Jotaro's room. Kyoshi was in front of you, eyebrow raised. Stuttering for a moment, you sputtered, "So sorry, Ma'am. I was lost in thought about back when I first met Jotaro."

The other eyebrow joined its brother, and she tilted her head. "Is that all? Come now, there's no point in thinking of that. Keep your head in today. You know how much he hates waiting for you before eating breakfast." Nodding, you followed behind her into the now familiar and welcoming humid warmth of the man-made rainforest.

#Naga!Jotaro #Naga!6taro #Naga #Reptile respect/care #Please be nice to animals and people #They deserve our respect and care #Naga!Jotaro x Y/N #jotaro x y/n #Y/N #jjba au #jjba fanfic #JJBA #snakeman make brain go BRRR with thoughts #Did I make a avatar Kyoshi reference yes yes I did #trigger warnings in the beginning #jotaro x reader #Warm my Soul

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skippyv20 · 2 years

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Did Mm ruin PH as a person?

Credit Serena Angelique Williams on Quora.

Did Meghan Markle ruin Prince Harry as a person?

In my opinion, in spite of having the emotional maturity of a five year old, Prince Harry was already an adult man in his mid-thirties when he met Meghan Markle.

He had been overly indulged since birth, continuing for over 3 decades before she ever darkened his doorstep . However, he underwent a severely traumatic experience, losing his mother at an impressionable age. Unfortunately this turned him into an object of pity when he was still quite young, and he’s been playing on peoples’ sympathies as an eternal victim ever since.

It’s not like the Royal Family are overly sensitive when it comes to emotional trauma. They have the best of intentions, but publicly they are stoic examples of fortitude, soldering through life’s difficulties with emotional reserve.

Harry obviously didn’t respond well to their practical if impersonal course of action. Instead, he remained callow and infantile, as his family devoted themselves to pampering him with an endless supply of material objects. The rest of the world mistakenly propped him up at every given opportunity, bolstering his ego and showering him with accolades, whether he was deserving of them or not.

First this entailed helping him get through school. In spite of this poor performance as a student, he was babied through the system, especially designed for him to pass. He attended Eton for five years, completing a paltry two final A-level exams, receiving a D in geography and B in Art. Few would ever consider him to be the “artistic”type, since he was clearly more of a sports loving jock. Nevertheless, his father was very proud of him and actually boasted of his accomplishments.

After that, most observers turned a blind eye to his follies as a young playboy. He was a cad to most of his girlfriends, and more often than not an egocentric tyrant when he was sowing his wild oats.

Today he tellingly blames the demise of all of his past relationships on the press, rather than admitting that it might have had something to do with him. It naturally has never occurred to him that he was the least bit culpable in any past breakups, nor will he own that he ran roughshod over plenty of broken hearts.

Later he was coddled and afforded deferential treatment throughout his military career. He was guarded as a special case, mutually exclusive from the rest of his unit. In short, everyone was quick to forgive him pretty much every one of his weaknesses and he knew it and took advantage of this as much as he possibly could..

His frequent behavioral gaffes were constantly excused or simply covered up . Prince Harry’s rampart disregard for others was conveniently disguised as harmless joking.

Once an army comrade recorded him irreverently mocking his grandmother. Clowning about and exaggerating a fake telephone conversation with “your highness” he displayed a healthy amount of impudence to her Majesty, the Queen. “Give my love to the corgis and grandpa,” he sneered, signing off with “God save you!” This videotaped footage was used in a documentary and his impertinence was passed off as an ancient little slip, magically nipped in the bud by his ever patient family.

When he recklessly killed endangered species like the two Hen Harriers that he shot down on the Sandringham Estate , this was brushed off and considered to be an innocent mistake. Although he denied it, Harry and his friend were positively identified and confirmed as the only people hunting on the property. At the time there were 20 Hen Harriers left in the country, which translates to him doing away with 10% of their dwindling population.

When he got into physical scuffles with members of the press, the press were always positioned as the wayward culprits . Shoving photographers or threatening paparazzi was considered to be an understandable reaction, stemming from his resentment of the media blitz that had routinely plagued his mother.

https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna17784817

If he dressed up like a Nazi when attending a party, he was simply too young to know any better. If he used racial slurs, it was frequently suppressed by both the military and the press. A gag order was once placed on fellow officer Ahmed Raza Khan after Harry had offended him by incessantly referring to him as “Our little **** friend.”This was caught on camera, and although the officer was prevented from remarking on it, his father openly indicated that it was nothing that he took lightly.

Any inappropriate behavior, whether it be racist, homophobic or simply in poor taste was quickly forgotten, yet there are plenty of old articles that are accessible online, that serve as lasting testimonies to his disreputable conduct. It was preferable to think only the best about him instead of seeing him as a disrespectful little brat.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2009/jan/12/prince-harry-racism

His friends and family were forever keen on shielding him from any uncomfortable repercussions, while the press were often complicit in the cover up. Countless unseemly things that he did subsequently went undisclosed.

Unflattering deportment was kept quiet and on the down low. The negative capers that the public were privy to are nothing compared to what has since been permanently concealed. Past actions that potentially may have cast an unsympathetic shadow over him were calmly disregarded and buried by the powers that be.

After all, he was the most charming British bachelor around , exuding ebullient charisma wherever he went! His spirited antics were seen as being mostly in good fun.

Harry inadvertently became the unofficial jester of the British Royal family. He was able to get away with things that nobody else could manage.His impiety made him all the more popular, and this was clearly reflected in the polls..

He was seemingly affable, possessing buoyant energy that spilled over into everything that he did. If he was a bit cheeky it was easily disregarded. His spirited nature appealed to the public, generally accepting that even princes are not perfect.

Escapades like running around Las Vegas naked with a few prostitutes were good naturedly viewed as typically boyish behavior. Any unbecoming follies which Harry played a role in were perpetually attributed to youthful indiscretion even when he was over 30 years old.

After all, he had tragically lost his mother in a horrible accident . The image of the young boy diligently following the coffin in Princess Diana’s funeral procession bought him an endless bounty of sympathy that translated into an infinite number of free passes. He’s been cashing in on that goodwill for almost as long as he can remember.

When Meghan Markle came around, initially she was warmly embraced by the majority of the British people. As an American, and commoner, she curried plenty of good favor with fellow Americans in the states as well. The fact that she is biracial made her unquestionably unique, but it hardly eclipsed the novelty of a divorced woman in her late 30s from Los Angeles, California snagging the most eligible bachelor in the U.K., and marrying into the Royal family. A British Prince proposing to a barely known television series regular isn’t exactly something that happens every day.

Their wedding was largely celebrated with enthusiasm and everyone was on their team. Regardless of the damning allegations that they have since made, their fans exponentially outnumbered their detractors.

That was over 4 years ago, but how quickly things descended into a messy circus side-show! Almost overnight, Harry went from being heedlessly politically incorrect, to a vengeful leftist “woke” warrior . Some people prefer his former guise to his smug holier than thou attitude, but it only shows me that he is a man of extremes. Had he not been born a prince, none of this flip-flopping would be attractive, while his lack of credentials make it hard to take him seriously.

The mentality that “everyone gets a trophy” had been employed up until his marriage and Harry automatically presumed that this would carry over. Once he was dubbed the Duke of Sussex, he underwent a rude awakening, discovering that being “the spare” didn’t translate to always being on equal footing with Prince William

. Meghan was no help, insisting that everything be “fair” when republican ideals and primogeniture don’t mix. This speeded up their exit, retreating permanently to la La land in a gargantuan McMansion situated on the coast. Now he can walk around barefoot and smoke bowls all day long, and forget all about concepts like “duty” and “obligation,” qualities which obviously never took hold.

Meghan’s tenure as a Royal was an insignificant blip. She was already sick of it before she ever started, as much as she can’t seem to shut up about it now. Absconding from the Royal family was truly a blessing in disguise. I shudder to imagine the King and then Prince William’s family having to deal with the Sussex duo for the next four or five decades!

I think that Harry and Megs undoubtedly reinforce each other’s bad qualities, but their individual personalities were fully formed by the time that they met. I could write another volume about why I think that Meghan has been a destructive influence on him but I honestly don’t believe that she suddenly “ruined” him.

His problematic personality traits were already in place, developing in plain sight long before he ever laid eyes on her. Most people were more than willing to give him the benefit of the doubt until she happened on the scene. Meghan merely unleashed the very worst in him, and everything has rapidly rolled downhill ever since.

He is troubled and damaged but those aren’t his biggest issues. The dominating factor that has become blatantly apparent since meddlesome Meghan stepped in, is that he’s an immature man-child, who never has had to take any responsibility for his own abhorrent actions.

He has little to no insight about subjects he claims to possess expertise in, and his cluelessness is matched only by his lack of self awareness. He isn’t very good at anything but polo and complaining. What it all boils down to is that he’s a rank amateur, embodying a bunch of existing contradictions. It’s a shame to realize that’s he’s a self satisfied ne’r do well. and mopey hypocrite to boot.

When Princess Diana died, he became everyone’s red headed little boy, tugging heartstrings across continents as a motherless child. As he grew up we automatically excused him for innumerable transgressions.

We felt sorry for him, and were quick to forgive him anything, time and time again. We assumed that he was inherently good even when goodness was palpably absent. Only now can we acknowledge how our projections have backfired.

Some of us feel as if we have been deliberately duped. But perhaps we only have ourselves to blame for endowing him with integrity, when in reality he has little..

He is regrettably very much like his wife, preferring to take refuge in playing the victim. Feeling sorry for himself is easier than taking responsibility and manning up. Thoughtlessly creating conflict, he blames everyone but himself, and an active Peter Pan complex keeps him stunted in time as a 6’1 adolescent.

The one difference between him and Meghan is that the public is somewhat at fault for contributing to the making of this self pitying, entitled entity. We’ve been facilitating his noxious demeanor long before his engagement, by enabling him and allowing him every excuse in the book

Thank you❤️

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