#His light in the darkness
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His Light in the Darkness
Summary: When Joel finds love ten years into the apocalypse and has a daughter with that woman two years later, he has to deal with the death of his beloved. He had to deal with a child that he doesn’t want, the child that took his whole world. That was, until a couple months after your birth. Now you will have to go with your father, Joel, and “The Cargo,” Ellie. As you go through this traumatizing yet exciting new adventure, you will have to learn a lot of things if you wish to survive in this world.
Paring: Joel x daughter!reader
Series Warnings:Mentions of violence, using both the game lore and show lore, Tess being a mother figure to reader, reader is eight years old, attempted SA, attempted kidnapping, kidnapping, slaves, death, dialogue and actions/scenes not being exactly the same or close to original, nicknames for reader(Little Light, honey, sweetie, baby girl), anxiety attacks, anxiety alluded to but not specified, symptoms of ptsd but not specified, reader is Joel's biological daughter, mother’s looks not specified, reader is a child so she will cry a lot (please don’t complain about this) this is normal for children
Chapter Warnings: Mentions of violence, using both the game lore and show lore, Tess being a mother figure to reader, reader is eight years old, panic attack
Word Count: 3,465
******
Chapter 1 - The Light at the End of the Tunnel
Winter 2015
Cries were what filled the room. A female that looked to be in her mid thirties was laid out on a worn down mattress. In her arms was a baby, the one that was producing those beautiful sounds. Her breaths were shallow, hands bloody as her eyes met those of her lover. There beside her was Joel. He stared lovingly at the woman, your mother. She taught him how to love again, and you were also someone that was going to help teach him how to love once more in the future. The woman had already known there was a chance of not surviving through childbirth. Hell, they were living in the fucking apocalypse. They didn’t have the same materials and medical help or equipment that they had twelve years ago.
She felt weak, she wasn’t gaining any strength back. She had children before the outbreak but upon outbreak day and thereafter, they had died in front of her eyes. That was one of the many things that the two lovers confided in and shared with each other. Her other births had been similar to this birth; but her other times were much different when it came to the time after giving birth. She wasn’t gaining any strength back like she usually would, she was only losing it. She could feel her heart that had previously been pounding in her chest slowly start to slow down to an alarmingly slow speed. Her breaths that had previously been easier to have were quickly becoming harder and harder to inhale.
With just one look, Joel knew what she was about to tell him. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t lose his lover; his light in the dark. Tears flooded his eyes, racing down his face shortly after. He choked out a sob. As carefully as he could, he gingerly held her in his arms. They stayed like that for hours, even after she had taken her final breath. She had been able to breastfeed their child with the help of Joel.
As he continued to lay there, your mother still in his arms, the door was quietly opened. Tess stepped in, grief upon her face at seeing Joel with his deceased lover. She walked over, getting close enough to touch Joel’s shoulder. His eyes snapped up to meet hers. This was the most vulnerability that Joel has ever shown Tess. She saw how much pain he was in, and she couldn’t do anything to help him. He muttered something to her after he calmed down a little.
“Take the baby, I don’t want the thing that took away the love of my life.”
She was shocked to say the least. She never thought that he would ever say anything such as that. He always seemed so happy when talk of the two’s unborn child was brought up. As Tess sighed, she lightly shook her head side to side, rejecting his request; or rather demand. She couldn’t do that. He looked angry, more than angry. He was extremely pissed to say the least. He snarled at her, even more so when she started to talk about burying your mother. The rest of it all was just a blur in his mind. He blocked everything else. He didn’t want to deal with anything else, especially you.
A couple months passed by, Joel hating every moment of it. On one surprisingly warmer day, his view towards you was swiftly changed. He had put you down on the couch, not fully caring if you fell or not. It didn’t feel like it was his responsibility. He was looking over everything that he would need for his and Tess’ next run. Something in him caused him to turn his gaze towards you. There you were, smiling over at him as if he was the greatest thing in the entire universe. In a sense, he was, to you.
Once you saw that his gaze had turned towards you, you erupted into a fit of adorable little giggles. He had never heard that beautiful sound come from your tiny body. The moment he heard it, he was immediately transported to the first time he heard that same noise come from Sarah.
Right then and there, he knew how disappointed and angry Sarah and your mother would have been at him. He was beyond ashamed of how he acted and treated you. You were his daughter, he was your father, he was supposed to love and protect you. He knew then that he needed to change the person that he was, but only for you. He wasn’t going to allow himself to be any different towards anyone else, he couldn’t trust anyone else in this newer world. As for now, for the first time since your mothers death, he picked you up lovingly and smiled.
“Hi, my Little Light. Daddy’s here now.”
******
Autumn 2023
Giggles erupted from you as you played with your toys; your fathers warning to not make any noise while he wasn’t there escaping your mind. All noises stopped however once you heard the front door open, close, and then voices. All you could hear was your fathers voice before you were sprinting out to him, jumping into his arms that weren’t ready to catch you.
“Daddy!”
He huffed, trying to keep you from falling out of his arms. He looked at you with love in his eyes, but he still had his mask up due to the fact that there was a teenage girl being present.The teenager looked surprised to see this man that has been nothing but cold and rude to her, be so loving and even have a child. You finally looked at her curiosity in your eyes.
“Who’s she Daddy?”
Joel cursed under his breath, “She’s no one, just some cargo,” He had hoped that you would simply just accept that she was there for a tiny bit and then just never bring her up ever.
The teen scoffed at him, “Hi there?” Her voice seemed on edge, “I’m Ellie, the cargo.”
You giggled at her, finding the new girl funny.
“Go and stay in your room baby girl, I’m gonna stay out here, ok?”
You nodded your head, perfectly fine with going back to playing with your toys.
Thirty minutes passed, Ellie snooping through Joel's stuff the entire time. She froze though when she heard a door down the hall open. You padded down the hall, trying to be as stealthy as possible, failing however seeing as you are just eight years old and not fully aware of your surroundings. Once you reached the living room, you jumped. Looking around you saw Ellie looking at you. She also jumped, not expecting your reaction. Seeing her jump causes you to giggle, and while she is weary of you, she does find it a little cute.
“What are you doing? Didn’t the old man tell you to stay back there?”
She honestly didn’t fully care what you were doing but she was still at least a little curious.
You stared at her while your child brain worked to try and think of something, “Nothing?”
Before she could say anything else, you ran over to her. You came up to about her waist, a little lower. You’ve heard Joel and Tess talk about how you’re small for your age. They summed it up to being that you weren’t getting the right nutrients and needed to eat a little more vegetables and meat.
“Why did Daddy say that you’re cargo?”
“‘Cause he’s taking me somewhere,” She sounded grumpy and slightly irritated.
“Who are you?” Ellie was quick to ask you a question of her own.
Telling her your name, you looked down at what she was holding
In her hands were dog tags. You looked back up towards her with a perplexed gaze set in your eyes. She looked down at her hands, having completely forgotten that she was holding them.
“Oh, those are mine.”
“Are you a Firefly?”
Your question caught her really off guard. She had no idea that someone who seems as young as you would know anything about the Firefly’s.
“Uh, no, but someone that I loved was.”
You know by the tone in her voice and the look in her eyes that it was time to shut up. You walked over to your father and sat down on the ground. She watched you before returning to whatever she had been doing. You zoned her out as you found some of the crayons that you had left on the coffee table. Joel had found that he could melt down some of the broken crayons and make new ones.
You made multiple drawings, knowing that all of them would end up on something in the apartment. You looked up once you zoned back into reality. It was dark out and Joel was still asleep. Giggling quietly to yourself, you climbed onto the couch and hopped onto his chest. He jumped awake. Both from you and the nightmare that he had.
“Did you know that you talk in your sleep?”
Ellie was looking at something in your hands. Your dad picked you up and sat you down on the couch. As he sat up, he started to say but you found the fraying threads of the couch much more interesting. Although it became much less intriguing once you heard a certain someone’s voice. Tess walked in through the door, saying something to Joel and Ellie. You looked up at her, quickly getting up to go to her.
“Mama!” You somewhat calmly walked over to her, unlike how you did earlier to Joel.
She greeted you and then looked at Joel.
“Can I talk to you in the other room?”
He looked hesitant towards you before nodding, going to his room. Ellie looked at you curiously, as well as you. Once the door closed, you both turned your gazes to each other.
“So, was that your mom?”
“Not really, I just call her Mama. Daddy told me that my real mama was in a better place and that I would never be able to see her again, but that she loved me. What about you?”
“Yeah, same I guess.”
You smile brightly at the older girl. Right once you opened your mouth, beginning to say something, Tess and Joel walked back in. Joel is quick to pick you up and get you away from Ellie. As you got comfy in his large arms, resting your head against his warm chest, your eyes dropped shut.
The next time that you open your eyes, you’re strapped to your fathers chest. As you start to wake up, you realize that you're not in your home anymore. Were you outside? There weren’t any normal buildings around. Your question was soon answered when you heard guards talking. You were immediately thrown into a frenzy when someone started yelling at your group.
The next thing you know, your father is taking you out of the holder and setting you down directly next to him. Tears were streaming down your face as you frantically grasp onto his pants leg. Everyone’s kneeling and the guard is saying something. Everything happens so fast, your dad is suddenly beating the guard, Tess is grabbing the tester, and Ellie moves in front of you.
You're still crying as all the commotion settles down. You look up at Ellie, who is now sitting next to you with a panicked look on her now dirtier face. She was also looking up. As you reach out for her, wanting to be held to help calm you down, Tess is quick to step in.
“Get away from her.”
You look alarmed, confused why you couldn’t be near her. As you try to understand what's going on, Joel quickly scoops you up, getting away from Ellie just as fast. Tess has something in her hand that you can’t see very well. Tears are still falling from your now red and puffy eyes as your dad curses in frustration.
“Why are you so mad at her, Daddy?” Your small hands grasped onto his shirt, tugging slightly.
Everyone stopped at the sound of your small voice, realization that you were with them sinking into Joel and Tess’ minds. The reality of this situation was making itself loud and clear. Your question goes unanswered as the talking continues on. You were scared, you didn’t know what was going on and everything was terrifying. You just wanted to be at home, safe and sound, being held tightly under a blanket in your fathers arms.
Your breathing starts to quicken as it feels like you're losing control over your own body. Fresh tears sprout from your eyes and your heart is pounding in your ears. Were you dying? You didn’t want to die like this, not now. It felt like you couldn’t breathe. You weakly clutch at your chest as your throat closes up, small whimpers leaving the confines of your overworked lungs. Your tiny body was trembling, beginning to feel very hot in your own skin. Sweat collected on your forehead. Joel noticed very quickly what was happening.
“Hey, baby girl, breathe. You're okay. Look at me baby,” His hand guided your face to look towards him.
He talked you through it, although a lot of it sounded like you were underwater. Once you finally were back, panic attack taken care of to the best of their abilities, you noticed that it seemed like the problem from earlier was completely taken care of. You couldn’t tell when it was taken care of but it was.
Joel seemed to be in a bitterer mood than he was earlier. You stayed quiet, opting to just look around at everything since you had nothing else to do except sit there attached to your fathers chest. As you continued to walk, going somewhere but you didn’t know where, you finally arrived at a new area. It seemed to be a very rocky place. You couldn’t tell if it was a building or not, but it looked similar to one.
You father was the first to go in, holding you tight against his chest despite the fact that you were already tightly strapped to his chest. He looked around a little, making sure that the coast was clear, before telling Tess and Ellie to come in. They soon follow in after him, Tess’ immediate move is to look at you then around the place. As the four of you make your way through the building, the air seems to get tenser, as if something bad was about to happen. That feeling was proven right when Joel and you split up from Tess and Ellie. Your head was covered by the strap, Joel having done that the moment he sensed danger. You could barely move around, all you could do was listen to what was going on around you. You heard growling and your dad grunting every so often. At one point, you get jostled around a little more than normal, a muffled cry coming from your mouth. Joel is quick to put his hand on your back before taking his hand away. You hear a struggle going on before your father and Tess’ voices once again.
As your father uncovers your head, you can finally see once more. There's bodies of the infected all around, and your father is breathing heavily. You don’t get to look around much more before Joel is quickly walking again, trying to get this whole thing done and over with as fast as possible. You’re confused as to what was happening, and it seemed that Ellie seemed to be as well. The two adults however ignored your confused and concerned faces as the supposedly short journey continued on.
******
The trip was much more boring than you had expected. You were finally arriving at the building where Ellie was supposed to be dropped off at, but it seemed to be a little quiet. Joel went into protect mode almost immediately once he realized that something wasn’t right.
As he cautiously looked around, he found that everyone that should've been there was dead. He covered your eyes so that you wouldn’t have to see all of it, trying to keep you safe from the horrors of this world as much as he could. As everyone is looking around, Tess starts talking about where to go next.
“What the hell do you mean? The jobs finished, it’s time to go home,” Joel's ruff voice cuts Tess off mid sentence.
“I mean that I can’t go home,” Tess’ usually strong voice wavers as her eyes land on you.
Ellie gasps, understanding what the older woman meant. Tess pulled the neck of her shirt down to reveal a horrible looking bite. Joel didn’t know how to react, he didn’t want to believe that Tess was bitten. You didn’t understand what was going on, so you tried tugging on your fathers shirt in order to get his attention. He didn’t even look at you, just put his hand on your back.
“You have to get her to Tommy,” Tess goes over to Ellie and grips her arm, showing Joel the bite mark that Ellie had shown them earlier, “She has to be telling the truth. Look at this, this is only a few hours old and it’s already horrible,” She pulls down her own shirt collar once again while talking to further prove her point. Before Joel could respond, groaning and screeching could be heard outside. Tess rushed over to one of the boarded up windows, looking out of it to see outside.
“Get out of here, there's a hoard of those fuckers coming here,” Tess began rustling through her bag, looking for specific items.
She pulled a small object out of a little, purple bag that seemed to still be in good condition. Joel’s breath hitched the moment he realized what the bag was. Tess walked over to you, the small object and bag in her hands.
“Sweetheart, I may not be your real mother but I love you like you're my blood daughter. I’m going to have to go away for a very long time and I want you to have these,” She put the small object in your hand, “Look after your father for me, you’re His Light in the Darkness.”
As you looked at it, you saw that it was a locket. You opened it with confusion, having a little difficulty. Inside the locket were two pictures. One was a picture of your mother, father and Tess all together. Your mother was holding the camera, her arm outstretched as she smiled brightly at the camera. Joel was hugging her, a wide smile outstretched on his face as he looked at her, ignoring the camera. Tess had her hand on her gun, seeming to be on alert, but she still had a warm smile on as she stared at the camera. The second picture was one of your father and mother. Joel had his arm around your mother as she had both of hers on his chest, seeming to be laughing at something. They were in a room that looked similar to the room that your father slept in now, but some of the furniture wasn’t as it was now.
“Daddy look! It’s Mommy!” Your excited voice came out a little too loud as the sounds of groaning and clicking came closer.
Everyone else's eyes went wide upon hearing what was waiting for them outside. Tess quickly began pouring gasoline all over everything in the room, trying to make sure that everything was covered.
“Joel go! Get them out of here, take the girl to Tommy. I’ll lure them in here, then take the building with me,” Her eyes were filled to the brim with tears as she looked at the little girl that she helped raise, knowing that she'd be leaving her.
“Mama? What's happening?”
She couldn't bring herself to tell you. She walked over and kissed the top of your head before handing Joel her backpack. She gave him a silent look before Joel grabbed Ellie to leave. You were crying now, not understanding what was happening and not wanting to leave Tess. Noises could be heard behind you as Joel quickly got out of the building despite Ellies struggles to get out of his grip.
All of a sudden, a loud boom came from behind the three of you. The building exploded. You continued to cry, the commotion overwhelming you. Joel did his best to consol you with what little energy that he had left. As you started to get brought back down to earth, your eyes became increasingly heavier by the second. Joel covered your head as you laid it on his chest, sleep beginning to take you after the exhausting day.
******
Tag list:
@fakegingerrights
@silnebula
I really hope that you liked this! It took a lot of energy for me to actually make this because I've been really procrastinating. I'm currently also working on my other Tech x Reader series but I have no idea when that will be. I'm also working on chapter two for this one. I might also do some romantic one shots for Joel because I love him so much.
@macchiato-dreaming22
#joel miller x daughter!reader#tlou joel#the last of us#joel miller angst#joel miller fluff#joel miller x platonic!reader#tess fluff#tlou tess#tlou tess angst#ellie fluff#ellie tlou#His light in the darkness
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and they were roommates
#danny phantom#danny fenton#sam manson#tucker foley#jack fenton#college au#i designed the house so here are some of my thoughts about it hahaha#the mansons bought the house really flippantly because it made financial sense not to rent for the next four years#and also they can probs make money renting it out after the trio graduates#they were not expecting how involved the foleys and the fentons would get lmao#the trio lives together really well#but sam hates how the boys take care of the bathroom on their floor#she forces them to clean it before people come over#danny is way more open about his powers in this house#he could have gotten away with that last one if he remembered that he can be invisible#but the boy is sleep deprived so who can blame him#sam colored her hair pink senior year of high school but light colors are too hard to maintain so she swapped to dark purple later
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(click for higher quality!) draconified link concept ive been chipping away at this past week ..... here's my funny little compendium concept for him:
"A heroic spirit has taken the form of this bestial dragon. Unlike it's kin, this creature exhibits an extremely aggressive disposition. It appears highly territorial, and will relentlessly chase down those who disturb its skywide patrols - of which it seems to be endlessly searching for either a long-time vassal or foe. Unfortunately, it seems the spirit within has long since forgotten exactly who it was looking for…"
#now. how on earth do i begin to tag this. um.#link#loz#totk#totk spoilers#light dragon#dragon link#loz au#totk roleswap au#there . i'll add more if they come to me LOL#um i can talk about some of my insps i guess?? might make another post too#so mostly i just dont really like turning him into 'light dragon but male' and giving him slightly darker colours or something like that#this also obviously isnt exactly like the botw dragons either though and its a bit more of a mix of other creature concepts i enjoy#since everyone agrees he'd have a farosh horn i wanted to make him a kirin/unicorn :) which is why his tail looks like that#aside from the obvious eastern dragon insps and what ive picked and chosen from the botw dragons#and obviously this looks a lot like wolf link. thats on purpose#i wanted to give him some fierce deity design refs too but because this is so dark/earthy they didnt look very fitting#but honestly you could do a whole fierce deity dragon design on its own i think#okay lots of tags but IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE. okay. let me have this.#my art#dragon link au
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name moodboard for “kodi” for anonymous
#a true work of art//moodboard#sparks of creativity//my work#moodboard#aesthetic#mb#chaotic academia#dark academia#classic academia#light academia#academia aesthetic#downtown boy#downtown aesthetic#speaking through another//request#do you not know that a man is not dead when his name is still spoken//name mb
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He's making dinner for both of us instead of dining out?
He's only mildly annoyed that we playfully poked him in the side? (Also MC feels comfortable enough to do it in the first place)
He's let us cover him in cutesy childish band-aids five times before stopping the sixth attempt?
Man is soft for us. He is giving "if anything happens to her, I will kill everyone in this room and then myself" vibe.
I'm in love.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#dare i say#this is giving hades and persephone vibe???#she is essentially in the underworld far away from anyone she's ever known#he's the dark to her light#everyone fears him except her#he'll let her get away with anything because he adores her#if anything happens to her the world will feel his wrath#the ideas are ideaing
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canon mustafar
#obikin#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#obi wan and anakin#obi wan x anakin#obi-wan bent him over and fucked him back to the light side after this#or he fell to the dark side and ended up killing palpatine#anyway we get obi-wan and his baby girl so it works
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#northern lights#aurora borealis#his dark materials#hdm#the golden compass#philip pullman#aurora#daemon#photography#nature#cat#pretty#beautiful#the subtle knife#the amber spyglass#whoa#the aurora#stars#sky#night#night sky
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can you even call it a warm up if I'm going to bed without drawing anything big
and a sketch I made while sitting in the park today
#sketch#my art#bnha#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#all for one#midoriya izuku#bnha manga spoilers#only after I finished basically polishing this sketch did I notice how it's basically dark and light mode#also the first one is basically a redraw of illustration from vol 11#I know that translation of Tenko's words is different in official but eh#fanart#I've kind of recovered from recent chapters#and I was analysing those chapters all morning#I'm still thinking but otherwise the chapters are so good#also did you notice that AFO actually talked about how his other him didn't use that 'last thing' yet and that was in ch 410#and in ch 419 he did so it's real and it's still sad#but still AFO was never hiding it enough#from Tomura maybe but we as readers actually saw his plans play out#in any case I'm still just sitting with those two Izuku and Tenko interaction chapters#I waited long enough#and if you don't count AFO's return Izuku DID save Tenko and it's so interesting#since he now has to save his OTHER origin that was in ch 237 taught to kill whatever he wants#Tenko and Tomura both had 'origins' chapters and for now we only worked with 235 and 236#and even if Izuku helped with the start of 237 there's still AFO#in any case it was a hard week#also the second thing actually had them holding hands#and then I was like 'but at that point Izuku's hands are gone oh no'#and it was just Tenko holding air where the hand was destroyed#in any case that scene.
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Zealot
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst sebek#sebek zigvolt#dark fantasy#malleus draconia#twst malleus#diasomnia#dark art#ppl with low light settings wont even see this dfgfsd#delete l8r#i know i can do better but Ive worked on it for so long that i want to post#i wanted to make a series of illust for a while of like... his obsession#hes so insane so ready to follow orders so wholly devoted#this isnt mallesebe i think he worships him as one would a god#wip ig#haiiii my followersss hru its exam season and its hell <3
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I’m home now.
FELLOW TRAVELERS 1x02 “Bulletproof”
#fellow travelers#ft spoilers#matt bomer#jonathan bailey#hawkins fuller#tim laughlin#hawk x tim#tim x hawk#fellowtravelersedit#lgbtedit#tvedit#blackandwhiteedit#userbarrow#userabs#usercoty#usersavana#*#not coloring this lol. the lighting is so dark#the way hawk puts his hand on tims chest. then his neck. then the other side of his neck. and then his face when he kisses him#he is holding on and not letting go
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"Grief? Then why do you force this false joy upon us? We are dancing on your brother's grave."
#the emotional impact and the many layers of how tragic this entire sequence is...delicious food#rodrigo burying juan is intercut with everyone being happy and celebrating lucrezia's betrothal...perfectly juxtaposing dark and light#& a moving OST matching grief-stricken rodrigo over pitting juan against his siblings & howling alone in the garden for causing this mess#while lucrezia &cesare were living in their own world fountain-dancing together in happiness as if they were celebrating#also the last time ceslu were truly happy: ces getting rid of the cardinal robes &lu celebrating paolo's avenging#juan's untimely fate. not getting closure & never having the chance to explain his piece is what makes the siblings' trio dynamics haunting#(well he kinda confessed to cesare anyway but it was too late & cesare wasn't planning to listen either way bc he needed to get it done)#anyway if any ceslu-er uses this post for the occasional juan bashing in my notifs it's an instant block not sawry lol#the borgias#cesare borgia#lucrezia borgia#perioddramaedit#romancegifs#dailyflicks#cinemapix#tvedit#tvarchive#perioddramasource#weloveperioddrama#by jen
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TWELFTH DOCTOR I THE ZYGON INVERSION
#his curls like crashing waves of a wild ocean are captivatingly wild and beautiful#his eyes like a bottomless cosmos held entire universes of emotions#the depths of his soul held pain melted into wisdom which in turn spawned compassion and mercy#the moment his gaze fell on bonnie he accepted her with all her flaws and contradictions forgiving her completely#this revealed the true essence of the Doctor - light breaking through the darkness#his strength lay in his mercy his ability to see the best in others even when they themselves didn’t believe in it#peter capaldi#dr who#dw#doctor who#new who#12th doctor#twelfth doctor#twelve#the zygon inversion#fluffy
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Actually Jason and duke should have a series together, solving magic mysteries and bringing out the worst of each other’s chaos. It needs to be absolutely insane, with their solutions to the problem of the week being even more bonkers than whatever nonsense they’re fighting.
#i am talking tentatodd levels of unhinged here#i just think I’d be funny#jason with his magic swords#duke with his light/dark powers#neither one actually knows anything about magic#They are noticeably not wizards#but they’re doing their best!#demons don’t like rocket launchers#or getting blinded by Infinite light#jason todd#red hood#dc#duke thomas#the signal
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whatever happens, please don’t break
#god not a fucking DAY goes by where i don’t think of that one interview and this quote#does anybody have it word for word? please? i’ll pay you#literally every single time i think about how kunikida as w character was MADE for dazai. specifically to share his suffering#i actually sob into my hands because that means they were both destined for tragedy together and the long dark road they will walk#will at least not be lonely. because they have each other. they are each other’s light in the darkness.#DO YOU UNDERSTAND#bro the fact that kunikida is painfully aware of the imperfection of the world and how he still continues to fight for his ideals#paralleling dazai who finds humanity beautiful but cannot become attached bc he feels alienated from emotion#THE WAY THEY COULD HELP EACH OTHER????? SICK SICK SICK I AM SICK#i love kunikidazai sm i wish more ppl could see the potential#but some of you aren’t ready for the sheer perfection of their dynamic#also i’ve noticed that i am only capable of drawing dazai properly when it’s with kunikida what’s up with that 💀#and sorreyy i know their height difference isn’t THAT big but i didn’t realize until i was halfway into the coloring 😔💔#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#lotus draws
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His Dark Materials is a franchise that tackles so many branches of physics and even creates a universe where the main course of study is experimental theology which is all about identifying and explaining dark matter while also adding dimensions to string theory, the multiverse theory, and the very concept of the human soul. At the same time, it aggressively calls out the problem with the state being controlled by the church, how people are condemned for being different and religious fearmongering stops the chance at growth both on an individual and a societal scale. It’s a franchise where the heroes of the story are two children who aren’t allowed to know the prophecy they’re a part of, who save the world unwittingly simply by doing what they believe to be right. Meanwhile, the person who thought he was the hero all along, the person who rallied an army from multiple universes to FIGHT. GOD. HIMSELF. is ultimately consumed by his own ego and forced to take a back seat when he realises he’s just one tiny piece of a much larger story that’s true heart is his own daugher. The child he abandoned, the child he didn’t know or care to know how to look after. It’s a franchise about finding love even when your biological family abandon you, it’s about looking evil in the eye and seeing your own mother, it’s about good and evil not being black and white but instead a complex and cruel mixture of both. It’s about the two worst people you know banding together at the last second to save their daughter with their final breaths. It’s about exploration and learning how to grow through experience, it’s about kindness being shared across the multiverse, exchanging stories with strangers and saving the whole world by doing something perfectly ordinary and receiving no reward.
Oh, and it’s also a franchise rich with fantasy, with giant talking polar bears, witches and ghosts, angels and daemons, and a mammal-like species from another world that travels exclusively on roller skates.
And it fucking. rocks.
#his dark materials#phillip pullman#hdm#lyra belacqua#will parry#marisa coulter#lord asriel#mary malone#northern lights#the subtle knife#the amber spyglass#i feel like i didn't even scrape the surface. the universe created here has fascinated me since i was a kid#but as i've gotten older i've really learned to appreciate all the scientific theories that are expanded upon using fantasy and philosophy#as someone who has a weird obsession with theoretical physics hdm scratches a very specific itch 😂#anyway that's my little rant over. i'm done now.
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knighted
#MOMENTS THAT MAKE ME EMOTIONAL. BAUL CALLING HIM BY NAME NOT CALLING HIM HUMAN. WEAK AT THE KNEES#i think ill only have time to draw these two pieces before i leave for the holidays so i want them to be a set. i think its fun#talked abt it on twt but artistically its SO fun that book 7 has the 'good guys' w the colors of the night. greens and purples and darks#and the 'bad guys' of the humans strike their queen down with a brilliant yellow light. the light IS the darkness is conceptually yummy#trying to lean into color choices and intentional comps lately. lilias piece reading L>R feels like the angle pushes down on him#here sebek faces with the eye's movement so its more positive. like hes climbing towards his beautiful bright future. ouughj#never before in fandom have i wanted to so clearly break down my own art choices like a historian but diasom does smth to my brain#twst#twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#baul zigvolt#ch 7 spoilers#suntails
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