#trauma recover

[dalidahmer]

“Mr. Malfoy...” Caster started, her tone however took Draco off guard. "It pains me... to see pure bloods, especially one of your stature, to hate themselves so."

Draco’s chest rose and fell. His mother was helping the Death Eaters. The Aurors were in on it. Hogwarts was not safe.

“RUN!” Theo yelled—just before the wall behind them exploded.

[READ MORE EXCERPT 👇]

All houses had to go back to their dorms. The twin aurors were already guarding the portrait entrance dutifully when Caster lead them through it.

"What exactly happened?" Theo asked, they went to their secluded chairs on the far side of the common room.

After the last Slytherin emerged through the opening, they followed and closed the doors behind them Draco whipped out the daily prophet in his pocket, and pulled out the front page.

"Jesus..." Draco said, his eyes scanning the page.

He started to read aloud:

"Organized death eater attacks are once again threatening the wizarding world. Gringotts... St. Mungos?!" Draco's voice rose and his eyes widened when he read that one, Blaise and Theo gasped, "and the Ministry of Magic were targeted attacks of suspected death eater activity. Explosions from an unknown source demolished each building at 8:06 this morning. 86 confirmed casualties. Riots incited in Diagon Alley. Stay indoors and do not attempt to travel." Draco laid his paper down and glared daggers at the Slytherins.

"If they break everyone out of Azkaban we're fucked." Theo whispered.

"That's where they should have started, dumb arses." Blaise quipped. "Now they're going to make surveillance impossible! Should buy us sometime to find Delphini, though."

"SHH!" Theo and Draco hushed in unison.

"If we talk about anything like that, it has to be in our dorms with silencing charms!" Theo said.

"I bet my mum and dad know something." Draco thought out loud, "I'm going to go floo them. We'll touch base with Granger and them at lunch, I'm sure they're working on a plan." Draco said, ducking into the private fire place in the Slytherin common room for floo calls.

Draco through the powder in front of him, "Call Malfoy Manor," he said, before the green smoke was even finished bellowing up Narcissa's face appeared.

"Draco?! Oh my God!" She gasped clapping her hand over her mouth. "baby... your face, you look so terrible, how on earth did that school allo--"

"MUM! What's going on?! Do you or dad know anything about this?" Draco said, his voice cracked, it was hopeful but Draco prepared to hear the worst.

Narcissa's eyes squeezed shut, and she cleared her throat softly recomposing herself.

"Draco... I know you have a hard time understanding." Narcissa started.

Draco couldn't breathe. "What?" He said hardly above a whisper.

"Listen--" Narcissa tried gently.

"Mum no," Draco shook his head, tears spilling already. "After Bellatrix? After Rowle?" He hissed, his hands were shaking violently again

"Draco, you're such a sensitive boy..." Narcissa said shaking her head slightly.

"Mum!" Draco said quickly he was shaking violently. "Please tell me you're not helping them."

Narcissa stayed silent but she shook her head, Malfoy let out a breath.

"Dad?" He said.

"Draco." Said Narcissa, "Your father and I love you very much--"

Draco breathed heavy through his nose but suddenly he had a thought. He closed his eyes and composed himself.

"Well... you weren't murdering people, right?" Draco tried he kept his voice even and swallowed passed the lump in his throat.

"Oh, darling," Narcissa smiled sadly, "I know you have a really hard time with that! I know Bellatrix was very hard on you, we would never put you in any danger again, but--

"I know you wouldn't" Draco lied quietly. "I won't be expected to hurt anyone this time?" He said watching his tone. He reminded himself of when he small, and would manipulate his parents to get his way in school.

"No! Your father will be held in an unbelievably high position after this." 'There it is,' thought Draco. His parents could always be bought.

"No one will ever make you have to do anything you don't want to!" Narcissa promised, "They promised to leave you out of it, darling! You just don't have the heart for that sort of thing." Narcissa said kindly relief was flooding her words.

"Some of my mates and I here--" Draco thought, he didn't let his face falter, and pushed himself to do what he had to do. "The treatment of pure bloods is abhorrent." Draco said keeping his voice even. Narcissa smiled ear to ear, her hand clapped over her heart and she sighed gently.

"Oh thank God," Narcissa said. "Draco I was so concerned you'd still have your reservations. I know the war was hard on you." Her eye's looked up to the ceiling and she mouthed God 'thank you'.

"Yes Draco," She continued, "wizendom has come under siege, darling and that isn't our faults." Draco's heart sank.

"Is dad involved?" Draco asked, it felt like his cheeks were holding in all the screams and tears making his face feel very tight. 'She can't see inside you, even if you're freaking out no one has to know.' He thought.

"Oh Draco your father has been given a massive grant by the Belgian ministries. He's been working very hard to reestablish our families standing. We'll be given back everything and then some," Narcissa promised I know you have a difficult time with violence, but no one will ask you to do that."

"Is the horcrux in Belgium?" Draco asked his voice was getting more even.

"One of your classmates, Solomon, he brought it to our hide out in Belgium, oh Draco, it's gorgeous. I can't wait to take you there holiday!" Narcissa beamed. "Your father will be a prominent enough figure after we've helped to regain all the influence he once had. You have to think about what a wonderful thing this will all be in the long run. Your children will never even meet a mudblood, Draco."

Draco didn't let the rage meet his eyes.

"How did you do it?" Draco said, his mother cocked her head slightly, as if she was wondering something. Draco thought to add, "Potter and all the mudblood loving filth are roaming the halls like they own the bloody world now! Aurors are everywhere how did we manage to accomplish this?" Draco tried again.

Narcissa smiled at herself, and seemed to shake off whatever thought she had.

"Your father... has volunteered as a host for the horcruxes until we can find a body. They will exsolve us of everything Draco, he's in Belgium now. It will benefit us greatly in the future...."

"I hope to see you both soon." Draco said. That was all he needed to know.

"Of course, Draco, it will all be over soon." Narcissa smiled. "I'm sorry what you must be enduring is disturbing you so... please take care of yourself, love."

"I will mum. And mum" Draco thought to add. His heart was breaking in a million pieces. "I love you," he said very seriously.

"I love you too, Draco!" Narcissa said the green smoke her face shone through evaporated.

Draco didn't know how long he stared at the floo pit. He didn't move or breathe. He stood there until his legs collapsed beneath him.

"Draco!" He heard Theo call from across the common room, he turned to the privated area behind an arch and half wall.

"You alright?" Theo said, blaise was following him. He didn't answer.

"Draco?" Theo tried again, he crouched beside him.

"No, no, no, no..." Was all Draco could say as tears started falling from his face freely. "Mate, what did she say?"

Draco grabbed Theo by his robes and buried his face in his chest. He muffled his screams and sobbed violently.

Theo hovered his arms just above Draco and exchanged a worried look with Blaise. They stayed like that for several moments before Theo put a hesitant hand on Dracos back, he felt bad for lifting it up quickly at the touch of his bones. When Draco didn't shove theo away, he hugged him more.

His robes were becoming soaked in snot and tears, but Theo didn't say anything as Draco cried and sobbed into his chest.

"What happened?" Theo asked, baffled.

Draco, both unable to speak in his state and concerned with being overheard concentrated on Theo's mind the way Bellatrix had showed him.

He used all his mental fortitude to replay the conversation that just happened in Theo's mind the familiar woosh felt like all the air in the room sucked them inside of a ghost.

When he was done, blood trickled down his face in quick violent drops and Draco was left gasping for air like a fish out of water.

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Theo yelled.

"You really can't Draco," Blaise said quickly grabbing a box tissues and frantically piling them in his friends hands. "You're going to fucking kill yourself!" Blaise bit.

Draco's breaths slowly got more normal until he was able to sit himself up. He kept getting waves of airy buzzes throbbing through his head, and his entire body felt limp and distant.

"We have to talk to Caster," Draco rasped weakly, his voice was slightly congested. He lifted his head back and plugged his nose with the tissues Blaise brought him, and ignored the light headed sensation overwhelming him when he jumped to his feet.

"Talk to Caster about what?" A kindly voice said emerging through the floo pit archway.

"You have to help us!" Draco pleaded.

"What's the matter, Draco?" Caster said gently.

"Delphini is in the Belgian Death Eaters headquarters. My father is going to host the horcrux," Blaise gasped and took a step back. "We have to go!" Draco begged.

"Mr. Malfoy..." Caster started, her tone however took Draco off guard. It had the slightest touch of hostility.

"It pains me... to see pure bloods, especially one of your stature, to hate themselves so." Draco's eyes widened, and his chest fell up and down heavier between breaths.

"Recently, I understand that certain influences have lead us astray from traditional values I know you're suffering and confused, let us help you."

Draco never broke his gaze and he stepped back slowly.

"Fuck..." Blaise whispered, as Goyle and Schmitt entered the room. Theo was the first to grab his wand. "RUN!" He yelled to his friends, who did so as he cast a silent bombardment charm on the archway behind him collapsing the walls.

"WAIT!" Caster bellowed as the walls crumbled in front of them.

Draco's legs were shaky and his heart thumped hard. They made it half way up their dormitory before Bulstrode backed by 7 or 8 other Slytherins lined themselves up at the top arms raised.

Draco silently disarmed every one, and Draco, Blaise and Theo grabbed them out of the air.

"You won't last like this Malfoy! Potter and his lot are going to spit you right back out and you won't be able to crawl back to us!" Millicent barked.

Another explosion could be heard from the background, Draco whipped around and saw Schmitt, Goyle, and Caster emerging from rubble and storming towards the dorms dust and debris swarming behind them.

Blaise opened the door to their dorms and pushed them inside.

Draco immediately waved his hand and every item in the room barricaded the door. The 3 four poster beds crashed into each other and blocked the door in a pile of wood and stone.

He put his hands on his knees and panted hard. Blaise and Theo looked between each other worried.

"You need to calm down, mate, sit for a minute we bought a little time." Theo said. He pulled out a small stray stool from the rubble pile and sat it down for Draco. He rolled his eyes and glared for a moment, but let Theo help him sit down as he regained his breath.

Blaise sighed and leaned against the wall, thinking. "What now?" He asked. Bangs could be heard on their door.

"The ceiling!" Draco said silently casting a quick bombardment charm on the ceiling of their dorm. All three jumped back covering their faces with their robes as pipes burst under the wreckage, making them wet, and rubble fell loosely around them.

"Accio broom!" Draco said and his broomstick flew out from the pile of rubble blocking their door.

"Accio broom!" Blaise and Theo said in unison, and they zoomed out through the hole Draco made. The floor above them was a prefects bathroom. Debris floated in the now dirty yellowish light casted from highly placed windows in the otherwise dark room.

When they hovered over solid floor they jumped off one by one. Their shoes squeaking harshly on the remnants of the once pristine white tile.

Draco opened the door wandlessly. They could hear explosions and excited chatter as the door closed behind them growing fainter. They took off out into the dark Hogwarts corridor.

"Where's the Gryffindor tower?" Theo asked he slid slightly when his wet shoes collided with the clean tile underneath him, but quickly landed back on his feet without stopping.

"Come on!" Blaise said turning a corridor, Theo and Draco, who was struggling to keep up much more than he'd like to admit, followed.

The castle corridors were dark and eerily silent, the squeaks and squashes from their wet shoes echoed behind them in the otherwise silent hall way. They kept running, and turned onto a stone floor leading up a stairwell until Blaise thought he knew where he was.

"This way!" He said, turning down a smaller corridor.

Draco was starting to feel woozy and it was getting harder to ignore it. His legs betrayed him, and gave way beneath him.

'NO! KEEP GOING! GET UP! YOU'RE FINE! YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR FRIENDS KILLED!' His brain screamed rapidly.

Blaise and Theo whipped around and Blaise caught him just before he fell on the sharp stony staircase.

"It's one more flight, just help me carry him," Blaise said, Draco grimaced, but he couldn't even keep his legs straight. As Blaise stood up, feeling all of Draco's weight on him he realized he could practically carry him with one arm, "here, I got him, keep going," Malfoy steadied himself on Blaise and ran along side him until they stopped at the portrait of the fat lady.

"My you boys look a fright," the fat lady said, taking in the sight before her, "you're not Gryffindor." She said.

"How do we get in?" Draco asked.

"Vince malum bono," Blaise said, and the portrait swung open. Draco and Theo cocked their heads with raised eyebrows in his direction.

"I'll tell you who I hooked up with here if we don't die." Blaise quipped, he was already crawling through the opening.

Theo and Draco followed suit, and relief flooded Draco's chest when he caught sight of Potter, he doesn't think he's ever been so happy to see those stupid glasses in his life.

Debris and dust was billowing from them with every movement they made. Blaise was shaking himself off, Draco was out of breath and balancing himself on the wall.

They were wet, covered in debris and still carrying their brooms. The Gryffindor's gawked and stared, murmurs could be heard throughout the room and Draco started to feel a bit self conscious.

"Malfoy?!" It was Hermione, "Oh my God, what happened? Theo, Blaise, come sit Draco down!"

Harry and Ron followed all three of them to the common room sofa.

"We don't have a lot of time," Draco said after he regained some composure.

"Someone start talking!" Ron said, looking between them.

"I called my mum with floo," Draco started to explain, "she told me my dad was going to host the Horcrux."

Harry's eyes widened, Ron paled a bit and Hermione clapped her hands over her mouth.

"They have Delphini in the Death Eaters Belgium headquarters," Draco continued. "We have to find her, there's a portkey at my parents mansion." Draco said.

"Why are you hear right now, why do you all look like that?" Hermione said shooting glances between each of them her eyebrows turned upwards.

"Caster is a death eater, she sdtormed us with the rest of the Slytherins," Blaise said.

"The auror?!" Asked Harry, his eyes widening.

"Yes, Draco asked her for help and she told him to be proud he's a pure blood, we've been running from them for the past 20 minutes." Theo said.

"We need to start making a plan." Said Harry.

[ruminate88]

You ARE important in this world:

3/19/25

Yes, life is twisted and unfair. You like some people, some you love, and some even hurt you. People come and go all the time. It doesn’t matter how twisted life gets, all that matters is that you keep going, and you don’t give up. 🌹 You are loved even when you don’t feel it. You are seen and heard believe it or not. I know you think you are very misunderstood but someone speaks your language. You are a shining light for somebody even if they never expressed it to you. I know you think you’re alone and that you are not that important but you are.

This is STILL one of my favorite songs. Hope you enjoy this jam. Stop what you’re doing and take a music break with me 🎶

[girlyteengirl16]

healing is taking too long what if i just kill myself

[clouvu]

Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine

[seaglassdinosaur]

Something about how Haymitch continues to drink. That he never ‘fully’ recovers, even though there are plenty of opportunities through and after the series when his access to alcohol is cut off. Something about him perhaps seeing the act as pointless because the damage to his body has been done, but being content with the time he has left.

Something about Haymitch being able to care about people again; allowing himself to care about Katniss and Peeta and not having to fear losing them or anyone else ever again. That he finds a hobby, a constructive and meaningful way to spend his time that not only reminds him of Lenore Dove, but was prompted by the people he has around him. That he finally feels safe enough to open up about and remember everyone who was taken over the years. That he’s able to heal some through this.

Something about how Haymitch’s pain doesn’t go away, but he’s able to find peace with it through these practices and people, and is able to forgive himself and feel forgiven by those he lost.

[guiltyidealist]

Latest hobby: radical self-acceptance codependency affirmations

I like to use over-the-top edgy imagery to invoke the ~emo~ sentiments we associate with edge, juxtaposing the aggressively self-loving text. accentuates the punk nature of radical acceptance

[ronkeyroo]

I'll 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 through concrete Past the dirt and through the cracks There will be 𝙣𝙤 surface that keeps me down

[glitter-stained]

Dc writers be like yeah sorry this character was doomed by the narrative there was nothing we could do, like my brother in christ you ARE the narrative

[urgorlfrog]

2/2 reunion, but Ren was able to let go and move on

[brucewaynehater101]

The Memory of Bodies AU:

Jason has been making amends with Tim in his own stilted way. He keeps his distance, but he'll put a blanket on Tim when the kid passes out somewhere (since Tim is always falling asleep in random places). The teen will find his favorite snacks in various places. Red Hood has shown vicious protection for Red Robin.

Tim has noticed and acknowledged these changes. As far as Jason is aware, Tim's forgiven him. They're good.

During a YJ mission, a magic user "gifts" Tim nonconsensually with a spell that makes him forget some of his more traumatic memories. One of the memories targeted was the TT attack.

At first, the Bats don't realize Tim's missing any memories. They don't like to talk about it and usually avoid that topic.

All the Bats see is that Tim's shoulders have lost a tension they didn't realize he was carrying. He allows himself to be physically closer to Jason, even going as far as falling asleep on him during a movie. The teen smiles more, makes more jokes, and isn't as guarded around the Waynes.

He wasn't unhappy or distrustful with them before, but he wasn't nearly as open as he becomes post spell.

Eventually, someone makes a comment about TT. Tim asks them what they mean by that.

Cue the Bats freaking out.

Once they figure out it was magic, they have a discussion on whether Tim *should* get his memories back. He's obviously happier like this.

Tim is extremely uncomfortable with the idea of someone controlling his memories and him being unable to remember such important details. He doesn't care if it will cause him to be more stressed out and cold. The idea of him not knowing freaks him out. Besides, what other memories could he be forgetting? What if none of the Bats were there when they happened? What does he not remember?

Anyways, Tim's having a few mental breakdowns.

Jason's having a few mental breakdowns (he thought they were good. He thought Tim trusted him. He thought he made it up to him).

The Bats restore Tim's memories, and he can feel the weight of them as they settle. His eyes become sharper, less bright, and they keep track of the exits as well as everyone in the room. The other Bats knew better, but they still feel slightly disappointed and sorrowful.

[blacksheepoftheclass]

These are things Lucifer definitely does.

[blughxreader]

Just popping in to say I’m doing great! I moved. Started school. Made friends. Got into some new hobbies.

Thank you to everyone who has expressed worries/well wishes/general sweet things in my inbox. 💕💕💕💕

I’m not sure when I’ll come back, but know that I’m doing really good in the meanwhile! Love you all ~ toodles

[no-cinnamon-for-synonym]

Why put him back in his pearl or kill him when you can permanently get rid of the problem: get this guy a therapist and another daughter

[dragonmermaidcrossing]

[phleb0tomist]

did you grow up with chronic pain? did you get called sensitive as a kid/teen with chronic pain? were you bombarded with wisecracks from adults who said you won’t know real pain till you get older? join my initiative to ban this vile practice from planet earth!

i had chronic pain as a kid. (still do now.) my physical ability was best in childhood, like, i could do cartwheels then, meanwhile i can’t walk now. but istg my pain was regularly at this very same level back in childhood. ok i have extra symptoms now which make things harder, but if we’re JUST focusing on the pain part, it’s often the same. this blows my mind. the level of pain that i have now, bedbound and with opioids and a million accommodations, is the same level i had when i was 10 when i was just walkin around all day, asking my teachers nicely if i could sit indoors during playtime. (they said no btw.) back then, every time i tried to tell people how much everything hurt, adults said i was “sensitive”.

was i sensitive? is that what i was?

I think i must have been insanely powerful as a 10 year old to be out and about with a level of pain that makes me nonfunctional as an adult. I wonder how many kids and teens are in that amount of pain right now and are being dismissed because of their age. i think the way adults treat children with long term pain is evil. “you don’t know real pain! it only gets worse as you get older! wait till you grow up!!”

okay i waited.

i’m closer to 30 now than i am to 10, and the more hindsight i gain, the more i realise what a horrific violation it is that my pain was ignored when i was the most vulnerable to the trauma of unmanaged pain and had the least frame of reference for what level of agony is normal to experience while climbing stairs