#took me hours to make this but it was SO MUCH FUN

[conkreetmonkey]

Fun story: My last job was at a restaurant. They hired me among many other workers all at once. This is because the kitchen had recently burnt down, thankfully after hours and without hurting anyone, so they had to temporarily close and rebuild; can't very well run a restaurant with no kitchen, after all. Presumably they'd laid everyone off and were completely restocking their labour pool in like a week. My first day was wonderful. People were patient about training me, the manager was sweet and made sure everyone was staying hydrated, and she even personally brought me a glass of water while I was on my break. Like any person would have, I took this as a good sign. Then, over the next few months, things began to devolve. There's like 5 stories in there about the extortion, ER visits, second-degree burns, and explosive stress diarrhea, but basically that once sweet manager slowly became a demon, and my once fun and kind coworkers began doing things like threatening to harm my work bestie unless I performed unsafe work that was guaranteed to burn me due to inadequate PPE, or yelling obscenities at me for asking perfectly reasonable questions. It went from heaven to hell over the span of a single damp, mild autumn. So, as you can guess, I came to resent the place. But there's another element to it:

in my time working there, I would come to learn that the fire that destroyed the place was entirely preventable; there was a known gas leak in one of the deep fryers, and management knew, but refused to shell out the $15 to patch the line (just like they refused to give us PPE, or generally fix anything ever). Quite a long time after they found out and after many staff reports of this gas leak, one night, it somehow finally ignited, and a $15 expense suddenly turned into tens of thousands of dollars. One night, while I was manning the fryers, I noticed one of them was producing bubbles of opaque white smoke from under the oil. My coworkers assured me it was "normal" and "just some food stuck under there." I've worked many a deep fryer, and had been working those particular ones for months, and never seen such a thing before. It was pretty easy for me to put two and two together on that one. The lifers weren't having it and insisted I ignore it and get back to work. A few weeks later, I quit on the spot after getting cussed out over asking if anybody had put an order in the oven yet. My work bestie was fired shortly afterwards, for what she claims was written down as "disobeying orders." She was very allergic to the fryer oil we used, it made her break out in painful, swollen hives, but the lifers kept insisting on making her clean the fryers, so it was probably that, I imagine. Who knows, though? There came a point where it was never enough, no amount of speed or cleanliness or quality. We were always understaffed, and now they'd fired one of their best workers. I met another one of the coworkers I'd bonded with working elsewhere. It was retail, under a notorious asshole boss, but at least it wasn't there. Her arms were covered in deep burn scars the day she'd walked in, so I imagine she's used to it. I hope she'd okay. I should probably try to check in on her, actually. I never asked if she left or was fired. I know they never patched the leak. They didn't the first time. Of course they didn't learn their lesson, the whole place was just a number in the bloated investment portfolio of some silver spoon fatcat from Toronto, he didn't give a fuck. None of us ever even met him, or learned his name. Fully hands off. We'd pull like $15,000 or even $20,000 some nights, but all made minimum wage, and were always one call-in away from total collapse. They kept cutting hours. They would send people home in the middle of dinner rushes because "we're spending too much money on labour." Schedules became mere suggestions. We were never given end times to begin with. 11 or 12 hour shifts weren't uncommon on my end, but sometimes I'd only get 3. It was a coin flip every night. My point is, the place was managed, on all levels, by people who'd drown if it rained. Thinking about how perfect the place could have been still makes my heart rate increase. It filled a niche with absolutely no local competition. Our profit margins were absurd. And yet the dullards filling the office chairs didn't understand that you need cooks to produce food, and the place began creaking under their weight. I left before something gave. I suppose me leaving was something giving though, in a way. I worked my ass off for that place. I made them thousands, IN PROFIT, every night. I feel like maybe that triggered the exodus that followed, idk. Don't want to aggrandize myself too much. As far as I know, the second burning hasn't happened yet. But it will. It's all but guaranteed to. I hope that, just like last time, nobody's there when it happens. But I also hope that, unlike the first time, this time the entire place completely, unsalvageably burns down to ash, reduced to a concrete foundation. I hope there's nothing left to rebuild. I hope the cycle finally ends. I pretty much never got to take my legally mandated break again after that first shift, btw. Should have seen it as a sign, but it was just one shift right? They needed me, they said. They needed me.

[fear-less]

₊˚⊹˚ 𐙚 she ignored my letter!

pairing: james potter x f!reader

➥ In which, James writes you a love letter and hides it into your luggage carrying your clothes, not knowing he put it in a pocket you never open.

Warnings: angst, fluff, james pov, this inspired by awae (aka the best show ever)

a/n: heyyy... i had sm fun writing this, can't wait to write the rest of this bc i literally LOVE anne with an e and this is inspired by it ofc!!!! anyways, im barely writing now..smh, its cause im reading manacled and its literally heart breaking... im also editing on ae and its so hard so im slowly learning😭 but i want to finish this mini series by next week!!

series masterlist ! - divider creds: i-mmaculatus & dollywons

James had liked you for a while now. He wasn’t quite sure when it started—maybe it was the way you laughed at his jokes, always the loudest in the room. Or perhaps it was when he’d catch you staring at him, your gaze lingering just a bit too long, thinking he was too distracted to notice.

With the Christmas holidays fast approaching, James knew he had to make a move. He had to let you know how he felt. If you didn’t feel the same, maybe the time apart over the holiday would make it less awkward. But he couldn’t let another term slip by in silence.

Knowing your love for all things old-fashioned, James decided there was no better way to confess his feelings than through a handwritten letter. It felt personal, genuine—something you’d appreciate. But writing it turned out to be harder than he imagined.

He’d written and discarded at least a dozen drafts, each one crumpled and tossed aside in frustration. Finally, after half an hour of agonizing over the perfect words, he settled on this version. It was short, straightforward, and sincere:

Dear, (Y/N)

I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a complete idiot. I’ve tried a hundred times, and every single attempt has been worse than the last. So here’s the truth—I’m hopelessly in love with you.

You’ve probably guessed I’m not great at being subtle. But what I’ve never been able to say outright is how much you mean to me. The way you laugh, the way your nose scrunches when you’re concentrating—Merlin, you make it impossible to focus on anything else. I want you to know that you’ve made me braver, happier, better. If you don’t feel the same, that’s okay—I just needed to get this off my chest.

Yours, James

He sighed deeply, folding the letter carefully before slipping it into an envelope. Your name was written on the front in his slightly shaky handwriting. Taking a steadying breath, he tucked it into the inside pocket of his robes. He’d leave it somewhere you’d find it tomorrow, just before you both left for the holidays.

As he lay awake that night, James tried to figure out the best way to deliver the letter. Should he hand it to you directly? No, that was too nerve-wracking—he’d probably end up babbling like an idiot. Maybe he could slip it into your bag and avoid the risk of witnessing your reaction.

The morning was crisp, the kind of cold that painted your cheeks red and sent little clouds of breath swirling in the air. On the platform, the train sat waiting, puffing out plumes of steam that mingled with the frosty air. It was alive with the sound of students saying goodbye and dragging their luggage over the cobblestones.

James walked beside you, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He was doing his best to appear casual, though every step he took felt heavier with the weight of the letter in his robe.

“Let me take that for you,” he blurted suddenly, nodding toward your luggage.

You blinked, surprised by the offer, but your lips curved into a warm smile. “Oh, thanks, James. That’s really sweet of you.”

He shrugged, trying to play it cool, but his ears turned a telltale shade of pink at your words. “What kind of bloke would I be if I didn’t help you out?” he mumbled, his voice tinged with nervous humor.

The two of you chatted as you strolled toward the train. You told him about your plans for the holidays—how you were excited to see your family, how your mum always made far too much food, and how you couldn’t wait to decorate the tree. James listened intently, nodding and laughing at all the right moments, even as his mind raced ahead to the task at hand.

Then, his opportunity came.

You turned away for a brief moment, waving at one of your friends across the platform. James acted quickly, pulling the envelope from his pocket and slipping it into the outermost compartment of your bag. His fingers brushed the fabric for only a second, but it felt like an eternity.

His heart was hammering so loudly he was certain it could be heard over the clamor of the platform. He straightened up just as you turned back to him, completely oblivious to what had just transpired.

“Thanks again for carrying that,” you said with a smile, your eyes meeting his.

James gave a small, lopsided grin and shifted your bag on his shoulder. “Anytime,” he replied, his voice steady despite the storm of nerves swirling inside him.

As the train’s whistle blew, signaling it was time to board, James knew there was no turning back now. All he could do was wait—and hope that when you found the letter, you’d read it and understand the words that had taken him so long to say.

It had been days since you’d left for the holidays, and James still hadn’t heard from you. Each passing day only worsened the sinking feeling in his chest.

Did you not feel the same? Did you hate him for ruining the friendship? Or worse, were you so disgusted by his confession that you couldn’t even bear to send him a letter saying so?

By Christmas morning, the knot of worry in James’s stomach had become unbearable. He’d stopped pacing and pretending not to care. He spent the early hours staring at the window, waiting for an owl that seemed as though it would never come.

But then, just as the first rays of sunlight streamed through his frosted window, he saw it—a familiar owl perched outside, clutching a small envelope in its talons. His heart leapt with a desperate flicker of hope. Maybe you’d only just found the letter. Maybe you’d taken your time because you wanted to write something perfect.

James hurried to open the window, shivering as the cold air rushed in. The owl extended its leg, allowing him to untie the letter. “Thanks, mate,” James murmured, absently offering the owl a treat before it flew off into the winter sky.

His fingers trembled as he opened the envelope, eager to see your handwriting. But his heart sank the moment he read the first line.

“Happy Christmas, James!”

No mention of his letter. No response to his confession. Just a short, cheerful note wishing him a wonderful holiday and apologizing for not writing sooner. You explained that things had been hectic at home and promised to catch up with him soon.

James felt his chest tighten, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. The hope he’d been clinging to was slipping through his fingers.

You’d ignored his letter.

You’d chosen to act as though he’d never written it at all, as if he’d never poured his heart out on that piece of parchment.

James scoffed, his grip on the letter tightening. Fine, he thought bitterly. If you were going to pretend his confession didn’t exist, he could do the same.

He shoved the letter onto his desk, glaring at it as if it were the source of his frustration. Deep down, though, he knew the truth: he didn’t want to ignore you. He wanted to write back, to ask if you’d found the letter, to make sure you weren’t upset with him.

But pride was a stubborn thing, and James Potter wasn’t about to let his vulnerability show again—not now.

As the snow fell softly outside his window, James sat in silence, staring at the letter and wondering if he’d made a mistake by ever writing to you in the first place.

When it was time to return to Hogwarts, James made no effort to find you. Normally, he’d scan the platform, pretending it was a coincidence whenever his eyes landed on you. This time, he couldn’t bring himself to look.

He saw you anyway, just briefly—standing near your family, your face lit up with that familiar smile. His heart leaped in his chest, and his legs almost betrayed him, ready to stride over and say something, anything. But he stopped himself.

Instead, James turned sharply, mumbling a quick goodbye to his parents before heading onto the train. He didn’t want to see you—not now.

The walk through the train felt heavier than usual. He knew exactly where his friends would be—the same compartment they’d claimed since their first year—but it felt like an eternity to get there. When he finally slid open the door, the familiar faces of Sirius, Remus, and Peter greeted him.

“Oi, Prongs!” Sirius called cheerfully, but his grin faltered when James slumped onto the seat next to Peter with a loud huff.

James leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. He could feel Sirius’s gaze on him, curious and probing.

“What’s got your wand in a knot?” Sirius asked, unable to resist.

“Don’t.” James’s voice was sharp, firm. It was rare for him to be in a foul mood, let alone snappish.

Sirius raised his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. I won’t say a word.”

The tension in the compartment was palpable. The train rattled on, and the usual chatter of the four friends was noticeably absent. Sirius kept stealing glances at James, who sat brooding, arms crossed. Peter fidgeted nervously, while Remus flipped through a book, clearly uncomfortable with the silence.

Finally, about an hour into the ride, James broke.

“She ignored my letter.” His voice was low, bitter, but it shattered the quiet like a hex.

The others exchanged looks before Peter spoke hesitantly. “She really ignored it?”

“Yes, Peter,” James snapped, his tone sharp enough to make Peter flinch. Realizing what he’d done, James sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s fine,” Peter mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

“Maybe she didn’t see it,” Remus offered, his tone calm and rational. “What if it got lost in her luggage? Or someone else found it and hid it? Maybe you gave her another piece of parchment? There’s always a chance—”

“Moony, no.” James cut him off, his voice strained. “I double-checked. It was the right letter, in the right spot. And who doesn’t check their trunk full of clothes over the holiday?”

“Maybe she doesn’t,” Sirius said with a shrug, trying to lighten the mood. “You know, women can be unpredictable. Maybe she’s got a secret stash for random letters in her trunk.”

“No, she checks,” James said with certainty. “I’ve slipped plenty of things into her luggage before, and she’s always found them. She just doesn’t fancy me back.” His voice cracked slightly at the end, but he forced a small, bitter smile. “And it’s fine. I’ll get over it. I always do, right?”

The compartment fell silent again, the weight of James’s words sinking in.

Sirius leaned forward, a flicker of frustration in his eyes. “It’s not fine, James. If she didn’t fancy you back, that’s one thing. But ignoring you? That’s—”

“Don’t,” James interrupted quietly, his gaze fixed on the floor. “Don’t make it worse, Padfoot.”

Sirius bit back a retort and leaned back in his seat, muttering under his breath.

The rest of the ride passed more comfortably, but the shadow of James’s disappointment lingered. His friends cracked jokes and told stories, trying to lift his spirits, but even when he laughed, it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Deep down, James wondered if he’d ever stop wishing that you’d read his letter and felt the same way.

Hours later, everyone had gathered in the Great Hall. The enchanted ceiling reflected the dusky evening sky, and the buzz of students catching up after the holiday filled the room. Normally, James would sit with Sirius to his left, you to his right, and Remus and Peter across from him. It was a familiar arrangement, one you’d fallen into without question.

But tonight, James broke the routine.

He subtly nudged Peter into the spot on his right before sitting down, leaving the space where you’d usually sit conspicuously empty.

You walked in a moment later, scanning the Gryffindor table until you spotted your usual group. But when you approached, your steps faltered. Peter sat where you always did, looking apologetic but saying nothing.

Your eyes darted to James, silently questioning him, but he avoided your gaze, his attention fixed stubbornly on his plate.

Confused, you looked to Remus for an explanation. Out of all the Marauders, he was the one you trusted most to give you a straight answer. But Remus only shrugged, his expression carefully neutral, though the twitch at the corner of his mouth hinted at discomfort.

You scoffed, your chest tightening. First, James ignored you all through the holiday, and now he didn’t even want to sit near you? Fine. If he wanted to sulk like a child, you weren’t going to beg for his attention.

Without another word, you turned on your heel and walked further down the table, sliding into a seat beside your other group of friends. You forced yourself to laugh at their jokes and join in their chatter, but your mind kept wandering back to James.

At the Gryffindor table, James’s eyes flicked toward you more often than he’d admit. Every time he saw you laughing with your friends, his stomach twisted.

“Why is she acting like I’m the one in the wrong?” James muttered under his breath, jabbing at a piece of roast potato with his fork.

“Maybe because you’re acting like a prat?” Sirius replied, his tone laced with amusement as he leaned closer.

James shot him a glare.

“Look, Prongs,” Sirius continued, dropping the teasing. “She doesn’t know what’s going on. You didn’t even give her a chance to explain, and now you’re sulking like a first-year who lost his chocolate frog cards.”

“Explain what? She ignored my letter, Padfoot. What’s there to explain?” James hissed, though his tone lacked its usual conviction.

Remus sighed, setting down his goblet. “Did it ever cross your mind that maybe she doesn’t even know what letter you’re talking about?”

James froze, his fork hovering mid-air.

“Just talk to her, mate,” Sirius said, giving James a nudge. “Or don’t. But if you keep this up, you’re only making it worse—for both of you.”

James huffed, slumping back in his seat. The truth was, he didn’t know if he had it in him to face you just yet.

From across the hall, you caught the way James’s shoulders sagged, and for a brief moment, you considered walking over. But pride held you in place. If James wanted to act like this, fine. Two could play that game.

You and James hadn’t spoken in what felt like weeks. The once effortless connection you shared had been replaced with an awkward silence that weighed heavily on you. It wasn’t just James—it felt like the whole group of Marauders had grown distant, their usual antics and inside jokes missing their spark when you were around.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d done something to upset him. But what? You racked your brain for answers, replaying every interaction from the past few months. James had always been one of your closest friends—why was he acting so strange?

Charms class was the hardest part of it all. You always sat beside James, sharing notes, exchanging whispers, and stifling laughs when Professor Flitwick wasn’t looking. Now, you sat in the same spot, the chair next to you glaringly empty.

You tried to focus on the professor’s instructions, but your thoughts were louder than his voice. Scribbling aimlessly in your notebook, you hardly noticed when someone approached your desk.

“Are you alright?”

Startled, you looked up to see a boy with a blue-and-bronze tie standing beside you. His face was vaguely familiar—you’d seen him around in class but had never spoken to him.

“Yeah—yes, I’m fine,” you stammered, blinking in confusion. Why was he talking to you?

He gave a polite, slightly amused smile. “Well, can you move your stuff? I’m sitting here now. We’re partners for the project.”

“Oh!” Heat rose to your cheeks as you hurriedly shoved your books to one side. “Sorry about that. I didn’t realize.”

“No worries,” he said, settling into the chair beside you. “I figured you weren’t paying attention—no offense. But I was, so I’ll explain what Professor Flitwick said.”

You managed a small smile, relieved by his casual tone. “Thanks. That’s… helpful.”

While he began outlining the project details, your focus wavered, glancing at James out of the corner of your eye. He was across the room, seated next to a loud and enthusiastic partner who seemed to be trying desperately to get his attention. But James wasn’t listening.

His gaze was fixed on you.

There was a flicker of something in his expression—jealousy, maybe? Regret? Whatever it was, it made your stomach twist.

You quickly turned your attention back to your new partner, nodding along to his explanation, even if you weren’t entirely listening. You felt James’s eyes on you the entire time, but you refused to look back.

Across the room, James’s jaw clenched. His partner waved a hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his trance.

“Oi, Potter! Are you even listening?”

“Huh? Yeah, sure,” James muttered, though his eyes drifted back to you moments later.

He hated this—seeing someone else sitting beside you, making you smile when that used to be his seat, his job. But he didn’t know how to fix it. The letter. The silence. The way he’d avoided you. It all felt too big now, too messy to undo.

Still, James couldn’t stop watching you, his heart sinking further with every laugh you shared with your new partner.

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taglist!! @zowiiiisblog , @kxnnxy , @rainingleaves , @icollectrubberduckies , @elsie-bells

[gumisbwunni]

PT 4

a/n: so this took me ages to write... tysm for the support, hope yall enjoy. Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3,

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You adjust the scarf around your neck, your breath curling in the frosty evening air as you stood by the crepe stand, glancing at the menu as the festive lights twinkled above, casting a warm glow over the crowd. People around you laughing, chatting, and enjoying the cold evening.

“Y/N!”

You turned quickly, a little startled, to see Satoru pushing his way through the crowd. His usual mischievous grin was on his face, and the familiar sight of him made your heart race, despite the years apart. He was dressed casually in a hoodie under a coat, looking as effortless as ever.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said, a little out of breath. “Got caught up in a crowd. What are you getting?”

You smiled, trying to play it cool. “Just deciding,” you said, looking up at the menu.

Without a second thought, Satoru reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his wallet. “I’ll get it for you,” he said, giving you thats tupid grin you kenw all too well.

You hesitated. “Are you sure? I can pay for my own—”

“Nah, I insist,” he said with a chuckle, tapping his card against the counter before you could protest further. “And besides, It's the least I can do after making you wait.”

the server handed him the crepes, Satoru passed you your order, and you both stepped away from the booth, the rich scent of the crepes wafting in the air.

As you wandered through the festival, you both chatted about your lives, sharing stories of what you’d been up to since high school. But it wasn’t long before Satoru glanced over at the towering, neon-lit roller coaster nearby, and a mischievous grin spread across his face.

“So,” he said, voice dripping with teasing energy, “are you ready for the ride of your life?”

You followed his gaze to the terrifying, twisting roller coaster. “You mean the ride of your life,” you shot back, raising an eyebrow. “You know I’m not about to get on that death trap.”

He raised his hands in mock surrender, laughing. “You’re a grown woman, and you’re scared of roller coasters?”

“I’m not scared,” you said quickly, though your stomach flipped at the thought. “I’m just… cautious. There’s a difference.”

Satoru chuckled. “Sure, sure. Cautious. Well, I’m not forcing you, but it couldve been fun.”

“Not happening,” you said firmly, taking a bite of your crepe. The sweet, warm flavor distracted you for a second, but the amusement in his eyes made you feel a little more exposed than you liked.

You spend the next hour wandering the festival, stopping at game booths and snack stands. At one point, Satoru wins you a small stuffed hello kitty, handing it to you with a crooked grin.

“For old times’ sake,” he says. “You’ve always liked hello kitty”

You stare at the plushie in your hands, something tight curling in your chest. “thank you”

“Of course.” His voice is quieter now, tinged with something you can’t quite name.

By the time the festival begins winding down, the lightness in the air has given way to a quieter, more intimate tension. Satoru suggests grabbing a drink somewhere, and you agree, like a giddy teenager in love.

The coffee shop is cozy, its walls lined with bookshelves and twinkling string lights. You wrap your hands around your mug of hot chocolate, letting the warmth seep into your fingers as you glance at Satoru across the table. He’s stirring his drink with a small wooden stick, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips as his eyes meet yours.

“This is nice…” You pause, feeling a little flustered under his gaze. “I mean, the shop,” you quickly add.

He chuckles, looking around the room. “Yeah, it hasn’t changed much.”

The rich scent of chocolate fills the air as you lean in closer to inhale. “This chocolate smells amazing,” you say, closing your eyes for a moment to savor it.

Satoru nods, his gaze softening, though there’s a hesitation in his voice. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

You tighten your grip on the mug, the warmth grounding you. “I was a bit nervous, if I’m being honest. It’s been years.”

“Well, I’m glad you came,” he says with a genuine smile, and it feels like a quiet weight lifts from your chest.

For a moment, you just smile at each other, the quiet between you oddly comfortable.

“Do you remember the wedding invitation Shoko made for you in high school? The one she sent to everyone—including our teacher?”he asks suddenly, his grin widening.

You nearly choked on your hot chocolate , but you couldn’t stop the embarrassed laugh that slipped out. “How could I forget? That was… mortifying.”

Satoru smirked, clearly relishing in your discomfort. “I still can’t believe she did that. you got so red, i can remember you getting so embarrassed.”

“shut up,” you protested, though you couldn’t help but smile. “I thought I was going to die of embarrassment.”

He laughed, the sound making your chest tighten a little. “It was funny. Her photoshop skills needed a little work, but the effort was there.”

You shot him a playful glare. “God, don’t remind me. I’m sure she still has that picture.”

He shakes his head, the warmth in his eyes making your chest ache. “Those were good times.”

“They were,” you say softly, your smile fading slightly.

The laughter between you quiets, replaced by a lingering stillness. You trace the rim of your mug with your finger, unsure how to bridge the widening gap between lighthearted memories and the unspoken weight of the past.

Satoru seems to sense it too. He clears his throat and leans forward, resting his arms on the table. “So, uh… how long are you in town?”

“Just a few more days,” you say, meeting his gaze. “It’s weird being back after all this time.”

“I can imagine.” He hesitates, then adds, “Do you visit often?”

“Not really,” you admit. “I guess I just didn’t feel like there was much of a reason to.”

He nods slowly, his expression unreadable. “I get that.”

The conversation stalls again, and you feel your pulse quicken. You don’t know if it’s the quiet atmosphere or the way Satoru keeps looking at you like he wants to say something, but the tension is impossible to ignore.

“You ever think about high school?” he asks suddenly.

You blink, surprised by the question. “Sometimes,” you say carefully. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” he says, shrugging. “I guess I’ve just been thinking about it more lately. Seeing you again… it brings a lot back.”

You swallow, your hands tightening around your mug. “Like what?”

He hesitates, his eyes searching yours. “Like how easy it used to be. How much fun we had.” He pauses, his voice softening. “And how fast it all changed.”

Your chest tightens, and you look down at your drink, unable to hold his gaze any longer. “I didn’t mean for it to,” you say quietly.

“I know,” he says, his tone gentler now. “But it still did.”

For a moment, neither of you speaks. The noise of the coffee shop fades into the background, leaving only the sound of your breathing. The words hang between you, heavy and unspoken for so long.

Satoru breaks the silence. “I waited for you that night, you know.” His voice is soft, almost hesitant. “I thought maybe… maybe it meant something to you.”

Your heart twists painfully. “It did,” you whisper, your voice cracking. “I just… I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Satoru’s jaw clenches, and he runs a hand through his hair, his frustration evident. “I would’ve understood, Y/N. If you’d just said something—anything.”

“I know,” you say, your voice cracking. “I know I should’ve, but I didn’t know how. I thought… I thought it was better to just leave.”

“Better for who?” he asks, his voice rising slightly.

Your throat feels tight, but you force the words out. “I didn’t know. I thought it was better for you. Everything was happening so fast, and…” You hesitate, lowering your gaze. “You weren’t exactly talking to me much by then, either.”

His jaw tightens. “You didn’t come to the game.”

“I couldn’t,” you say quickly. “There was stuff going on at home. I wanted to go, I swear I did, but I didn’t think you’d care after how you started acting.”

His lips part, but no words come out. Instead, he lets out a sharp breath, raking a hand through his hair. “You think I didn’t care?” he says finally. “Y/N, I waited for you all night. Like an idiot, looking at the bleachers any chance I got.”

Your heart twists painfully. “I’m sorry,” you whisper.

But Satoru just stares at you, the years of unspoken feelings in his eyes, and for a moment, all you can hear is the beating of your own heart.

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@manisimp @yujieatsdoritos @haruhatake @rottent0m4t03z @sillly-jokester

[luwritesstuff]

Hi! Could you possibly do something with Eddie Diaz? Maybe his Tia sets you up on a date 🙏🏽

this one was so cute and fun to write 🙊 let me know if you'd want a part 2!

Dating in the 21st Century

wc: 831

Pepa Diaz has been your mom’s client for years now. No one gave manicures like her and Pepa had ended up becoming her best friend in the process. You'd even met Pepa once or twice at the salon, and the occasional lunch your mom dragged you to.

It wasn't uncommon for your mom to try to set you up, it had become somewhat of a ritual of you gently letting guys down and reporting back to your mom on everything that had gone wrong on the date. So when she came to you to tell you about Pepa’s nephew, you couldn't hold back the sigh that escaped you.

“Mama, that's very sweet of Pepa, but I don't know if I have another blind date in me,” you called over your shoulder while you finished mopping the front of the salon. You didn't work there full time anymore, but you still helped out where you could.

Your mom tsk’ed you and pinched your side, “Don't be so pessimistic! I wouldn't tell you about him if I didn't think it was a good idea. Pepa showed me pictures, he's very pretty, mija,” she wiggled her eyebrows and managed to pull a small smile out of you, “Just one date, yeah? You can leave early if you hate it, but promise me you’ll try. His name is Eddie, you'll love him.”

You never really could say no to your mom, ultimately. You cursed her internally while doing the finishing touches to your makeup and adjusting your sundress. With any luck, you wouldn't have to go through this whole routine again anytime soon. Maybe your mom would give you a break after this one. After a final glance in the mirror, you threw your bag over your shoulder and left to meet your date at a small cafe you'd agreed on earlier in the week.

You arrived to find Eddie waiting by the entrance in a cream, long sleeved shirt and dark wash jeans. In an effort to keep an open mind like you'd promised your mom, you let yourself admire the way his shirt tightened around his biceps. So Pepa wasn't lying, he was attractive. “Hi, Eddie right?” You smiled and held a hand out to shake his.

After introducing yourself, you both ordered a latte and a pastry before finding a table on the patio to sit in the sun. Eddie was a perfect gentleman, he paid for your drink, held your chair out for you, made sure the sun wasn't in your eyes. You felt a sudden relief and let yourself relax into your seat. “Your Tia is your biggest fan, by the way. Her and my mom wouldn't let me rest until I agreed to meet the 'most amazing young man in LA’,” you teased, grinning at Eddie over the rim of your mug.

Eddie blushed easily and you filed that away for later. “She's all talk. She's just getting tired of me being single,” he laughed and leaned back in his chair, “you'd think her full time job was setting me up on dates.” You let out a dramatic groan, “You too? My mom bought me a subscription to a dating app for my birthday last year!”

This made Eddie let out a shocked laugh and you noticed the way his eyes crinkled and you were already thinking of ways to get him to laugh more. You took turns telling first date horror stories and making each other laugh. Eddie was good at that, you found. You hadn't laughed like that in ages, not in a way that wasn't forced or awkward. Eddie told you about his son, showed you pictures, and the way you took in each one made Eddie’s heart leap with possibilities. Maybe his Tia was right, maybe you'd be good for him.

“I just feel like there's so much pressure to date, you know? I have to act a certain way, say the right things, it's exhausting. I just want to be myself,” you sighed and Eddie felt more secure than he had in years. He agreed wholeheartedly and you felt comfort in knowing that you were with someone who wasn't interested in putting on an act or playing some stupid game.

After another few hours and more shared pastries, Eddie walked you to your car. For the first time in what felt like forever, you didn't feel the need to come up with some lame excuse and you found yourself wishing the day was longer. You didn't have to ask if Eddie felt the same way, he pressed a careful kiss to your cheek and squeezed your hands in both of his own. “Can I see you again?” he whispered and you nodded, returning the kiss to his cheek, “Please.”

Your mom and Pepa spent their next appointment gossiping over your date, and the two dates after. And they were totally not smug about it, only saying ‘I told you so’ a reasonable four times.

[squarebracketsmileyface]

if it's not too much trouble, can we get a lil sneaky peek of what Jesse looks like in art form? we have a 'preview' of Birdie, so i'm keen to see our darling lil guy (again, only if you want to/it's not a particularly time-consuming task) aaaa

YOU CAN INDEED (featuring a whole new art style I accidentally absorbed. I fucking created it for Soap in my COD fic so I could draw things as him, and now it's just my fucking art style kill me)

Also closeups under the thingy because I wanna talk about this art and some general lil headcanon bits more, it took me 9 and a half hours to finish this and I genuinely love it so much. I loved the entire process.

This drawing made me love Jesse as much as I love Birdie now, I think. I'm such a visual person and without a visual on Jesse I liked him conceptually but I didn't really care about him like I do Birdie. Now I love him. I adore him. He's so small and so round and look at him standing on his bubba's knees like a big boy, Brian's barely holding him up at all, really, he's definitely doing it allllllll by himself :D

SO

Brian has rainbow spoke covers on his chair, because he works with young kids, of course he's gonna make his chair fun. I also like to think that he lets them put stickers on the outsides of his mud guards too. Also the fun yellow pushrim covers and wheelchair frame

Jesse has a lazy eye :D (featuring his exceptionally circular face and silly surprised baby eyebrows)

Brian's chipped nail polish. He teaches kids sport for a living, especially climbing, of course his nail polish is going to be super chipped all the time. He's a dad too, so he doesn't have a huge amount of time to do his nails every time they start chipping. (Also the wedding band :] )

Birdie's drawing again, because it's still so fucking cute to me. With Jesse at like very little baby age in this drawing, Birdie would be somewhere around 13 I think? So just getting into "Daaaaaaad you're embarrassing meeeeeee!" era with that doodle

The family photos on the wall, including Lark! :D

Also, finally, the wrinkles on Brian's face :D he's a guy in his fourties who spent at LEAST like five years solid living through hell in the woods (I like to think it was longer than that, like, when Alex 'killed him' was when he started living as hoodie in the woods, so honestly probably a good bit longer than just the five years of documented MH that we got), and then once that was over, he had to learn to live with the stress of a spinal cord injury while also dealing with the survivors guilt of losing the only people he knew still on the same day as he lost the use of his legs.

Also a broken nose that never got put right before it healed, because with him fighting Alex all those times, there's no way he didn't come out without at least one broken nose.

And, of course, his silly cowboy mustache (he gives Jesse horsey rides on his wheelchair and Jesse wears a cowboy hat which is FAR too big for him. It's the cutest thing Tim and Lark have ever seen)

[cozytief]

"Someone's had a little too much to drink" Jongho

^_^ Soft Jongho hours.

Jongho takes care of drunk M/N. Cute Jongho and M/N.

~~~

TW: Drinking

This in no way represents Jongho irl or his actual personality. This is fiction.

Word Count: 755

~~~

Jongho and Hongjoong paused their movie as they heard the dorm door being opened and closed. “San-” Hongjoong’s voice had barely filled the air before San was responding. “Yeah, it’s us,” Hongjoong chuckled, making his way into the kitchen. “Did you guys have fun?” He questioned. “Yeah…” The trailed off words had Hongjoong ducking his head back out of the kitchen to glance at the group. “Is he ok?” Hongjoong questioned, moving towards the front door. Jongho frowned but sat still. “He had too much,” San answered. Jongho watched as Hongjoong carefully helped Mingi make his way to his room. San tried to help but his uneven steps said a lot. Jongho moved to pick up some of the food scattered about for the movie night but paused. M/N had gone out with San and Mingi. Yet, he hadn’t seen the other stumble in. A frown made its way back onto his face as he called out. Jongho wasn’t even sure if M/N was in the dorm. “Hyung?” The confused words were left unanswered. 

Jongho’s eyes widened as M/N silently made his way around the corner, grabbing the wall tightly. “Jongho-ah!” He called out. A giant smile making its way across his face. “I thought you’d be asleep,” He commented, moving towards the couch. Jongho watched as M/N teetered over to him. The other’s steps were short and uneven just like the other two. Jongho gently reached out to grab the other’s waist to stead him. “It’s still early,” Jongho answered. “We thought you guys would come back in a few hours,” A teasing smile grew on M/N's face as he moved to sit on Jongho’s lap. “Someone’s had a little too much to drink,” He muttered, motioning with his head towards where the others had gone. Jongho blinked at the action. Sober M/N would never sit on his lap. “I think you have too, Hyung,” Jongho gently stated, softly rubbing M/N thighs. A frown made its way onto M/N's face. “Jongho-ah, you’re too pretty to be mean,” The words made Jongho’s heartbeat faster. “Hyung,” Jongho warned. The said male paid him no mind.

Jongho froze as M/N began to play with his hair. “I love your hair,” M/N seemed to pause for a second before speaking once more. “I love you,” Jongho’s eyes widened at the words. “Hyung,” It came out barely a whisper. M/N frowned before tightly hugging Jongho. “I wish you’d gone out. I wanted you to come,” The whined out words made Jongho swallow thickly. “Hyung, you should get some sleep,” M/N sighed, clearly upset at the option. “But I like talking to you,” Jongho hesitated before gently holding the other’s hand. “Hyung, let’s get you to bed, hmm?” M/N didn’t put up a fight as Jongho helped him stand. Jongho moved to pick M/N up but was stopped. “I’ll puke,” The words a soft confession. Jongho slowly nodded, moving to help him walk to his room instead. Hongjoong frowned as he passed them in the hallway. He went to help but Jongho brushed him off. “I got it, Hyung,” M/N frowned at the words. “Only call me Hyung,” M/N softly whined out. Hongjoong chuckled before making his way back to the couch.

Jongho helped M/N get into his bed. “Hyung, don’t drink so much next time,” He quietly scolded. A smile grew on M/N’s face at the words. “You don’t like when I drink?” He quizzed, gently holding Jongho’s hand. Jongho sighed before speaking. “I don’t like when you can’t walk without help,” The confession made M/N giggle. “I like drinking because you always sleep with me,” A frown made its way onto Jongho’s face. “What?” The words coming out in disbelief. “You never want to cuddle or sleep with me,” M/N began, fiddling with Jongho’s fingers. “But when I drink, you do,” Jongho silently took in the information. “You should have told me,” Jongho muttered quietly. “Don’t just drink to cuddle me,” M/N’s lip quivered at the words. “I’m sorry,” Jongho shook his head, climbing into the bed with M/N. “Don’t be, Hyung,” He allowed M/N to gently play with his hair. “I love you,” Jongho softly stated. Jongho couldn’t see M/N’s face, but he was sure a soft smile was on the other’s face. “I love you, Jongho-ah,” The words made Jongho’s heartbeat speed up. He couldn’t help but cuddle into M/N more.

[bellysoupset]

Part 2 of the "Max meeting the gang in the cabin" fic!

It comes before the fics with Luke/Vince I just posted, so Max is actually patient zero of that flu. As per usual, it'll be in the correct order in the masterlist.

-----------------------------

Max was sore all over as they made their way back inside, after nearly three hours of hanging out by the lake. Luke and Bell had vanished inside thirty minutes before anyone else and while the others had been making fun of them for not even attempting to hide they were going inside to get laid, Max had the sneaking suspicion that was not the case.

He collapsed on one of the chairs by the dining room, planting his elbows on the table and running his fingers through his humid hair. They had sat in the last minutes of the sun in order to be at least a little dry before going back inside and drawn straws to figure out who'd get the shower first. Max, of course, had gotten it last, because fuck his luck that's why.

Vince had gotten it first, but he had given his spot to Wendy, instead taking the third place that she had gotten, and he pulled the wooden chair next to Max, sitting down with a pleased noise, "so? Still wanna leave?"

"Don't sound so smug," Max rolled his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck. He had a tension headache and his stomach was still bubbling and rolling uncomfortably, "your friends are nice."

"We are lovely," Leo corrected him, draping himself on Vince's back, not even pretending he wasn't listening in. He was slightly tipsy, so were most of them, and it showed on how flushed his face was, "are you hungry? Vince can cook," he pressed his chin to the top of Vin's curls and the dark haired man let out a scoff.

"You're offering for me?" he rolled his eyes, "Jonah, come collect your husband, he's sloshed."

"Am not!" Leo cried out and Max couldn't help but smile as the other guy hiccuped and squeezed his eyes shut, definitely a little over tipsy.

"He's not," Jonah grinned, wrapping his arms around Leo and planting a kiss on his cheek, "c'mon, baby, let's sit down for a bit, while Vince cooks us lunch... Well, dinner by now."

That caused Max to laugh and Vince to let out a huff, "fine, since you guys asked oh so nicely. What are you laughing at? Come help me chop stuff," Vince wrinkled his nose, mamma Monacelli written all over his face as he got up from his spot.

The cabin's kitchen was cramped, specially with Vince inside of it, but Max didn't particularly mind all the times they stumbled on each other. He pressed his stomach against the sink, staring at the chopping board, as Vince grabbed an assortment of veggies in the fridge and then circled Max, sneaking an arm under his in order to drop the items on the board, "little cubs, capisce?"

Max rolled his eyes at the little italian slip, nodding and starting to glide the knife over the bell peppers. Next to him, Vince grabbed a bunch of frozen chicken breasts and started cutting it into long slices, humming under his breath.

It was pleasant and Max would've been all but beaming at having Vince's attention all to himself, wasn't it for the very uncomfortable knot in his belly and the smell of the food starting to make him nauseous.

There was a knock on the open door and both men lifted up their heads. Bella's hair was lying limply next to her face and she had already changed into a new set of clothes, oversized sweatpants and a silky tanktop, "hey, do you guys need help?"

"Nah, go hang out with the rest of them, beautiful," Vince shooed her away and Bella made a little pout, instead of leaving walking further in. Vin chuckled, "I said we got it, Bell."

"I know," she took Vince's knife forcibly, "so what do I do?"

If his stomach wasn't bothering him so much, Max would've appreciated Vince teaching Bella how to cook all the more. He was a good teacher, patient and funny, but the blonde knew that already. The most surprising part of it was how incompetent Bella seemed to be, but she was eager to learn, so at least there was that.

They grabbed all chopped vegetables and the now grilled chicken stripes, throwing it inside a pot with tomato sauce and Max's stomach let out a whine, churning at the smell, right as Wendy knocked on the open door.

"Vin, shower's yours, hon- Are you alright?" Wendy raised her eyebrows, zeroing Max in and both Vince and Bella whipped their heads to look at him, quick as snakes.

Max nodded, white-knuckling the sink's edge, "I'm fine."

"Sit down," Bella bossed and Vince promptly jumped to the side, grabbing a wooden chair and Max by his shoulder, shoving him on it unceremoniously.

"God, stop looking at me like that, I'm fine," Max groaned, planting his elbows on his knees and hiding his face in his hands. A burp rolled up, but he stubbornly swallowed it up, "I'm fine, I'm just a little woozy..."

"It's the cramped kitchen?" Bella asked, "do you have claustro- is he claustrophobic?" she interrupted herself, clearly deciding Max was not a trustworthy source about his own well being.

"Not that I know of," Vince's voice was too close and Max dared to move his hands a smidge, only to see the man crouched down in front of him, a hand hovering over Max's shoulder as if he wanted to clasp it, but didn't think he should.

His stomach rolled again and Max moved his hand back up to hide his grimace, swallowing convulsively as the pain tightened the knot inside his belly.

"Oh darling," Wendy's voice was gentle and knowing, "let's get you out of the kitchen, the smell probably isn't helping," she didn't move forward, but Bella did and Max could tell just by their footsteps. Bell's were heavy and sure footed, Wendy's were almost silent, like a ballerina's.

"C'mon," Bella grabbed his arm, while Vince did the same and they pulled Max up in one swift motion. He stumbled slightly, nausea washing over him and covering his skin with goosebumps, making him pale.

"What is happening...?" Leo's voice interrupted them, but before they could answer, Max let out a groan and pulled his arm from Bell's hold, only to promptly stumble back and Vince catch him with one good yank.

"Where are you going?" Vince teased him lightly, keeping Max from faceplanting.

"He's not feeling well, let's take him to the couch," Wendy suggested and Vince hummed in agreement, guiding Max forward. He clearly didn't need the blonde to participate in the walk and only wasn't carrying him out of a sliver of respect.

Max collapsed on the soft surface and promptly wrapped an arm around his stomach, ducking his head to avoid everyone's gaze. God, he wanted to go home.

"Hey," Vince's voice was gentle, the couch sinking as he sat next to him, "what's wrong? You didn't eat anything to upset your stomach..."

Max's cheeks burned with embarrassment and he glanced around the room. Bella was perched on the couch's arm, watching him like a hawk, but Wendy, Leo and Jonah all had the decency to pretend they weren't eavesdropping every word.

"I don't know," Max's voice was raspy and he cleared his throat, "just hurts."

"As in you're going to throw up or shit your pants or like someone is cutting you with a knife?" Bella asked unceremoniously and Vince glared at her.

"Bell, give him some room, would you?"

Max stomach churned and he couldn't help a groan as his mouth got that sticky sensation that preceded puking. Vince's hand was suddenly on his back, rubbing up and down, "hey, do you want a bin? Or maybe go outside or the bathroom?"

"Out-outside," the blonde groaned, although it was the hardest choice. He could barely get up with how shaky he felt, but he wanted out of these people's curious stare. He really wanted to go home.

Vince wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling Max up easily and proving he hadn't need the blonde's aid before, much less Bell's, "alright, hang on-" his voice was strained, but it still seemed effortless how he dragged Max across the small living room and outside the cabin.

As soon as they were out, though, Max braced against the lumber wall, letting out a whimper.

"Aw man," Vince sighed sympathetically, "you're not well."

"I think it's a bug, I-" Max forced a deep breath, trying to ignore the way his knees were threatening to give up under him, "I'm sorry..."

"You've been feeling lousy for how long?" Vince didn't sound accusatory at all, but still a wave of embarrassment washed over Max. He shouldn't be there, making a scene about himself, "Max?"

"Not-not long..." he tried to lie, but Vince squinted at him, dark eyes scanning his face.

"Bullshit," he declared, letting out an annoyed sigh, "since morning, eh?"

"I thought it was nerves..." Max let out a wet burp and cringed, spitting the little bit of reflux that came up with it, "didn't want to ruin the weekend... And I wanted to come."

Vince seemed disappointed, which only caused the churning in Max's belly to get worse. He squeezed his hand against it, bringing up another sickly burp and gagging, but not bringing up anything.

He really didn't have much, only breakfast, from hours before.

Vin moved closer, smoothing the hair on his nape and squeezing his shoulder in a friendly manner. It was the soft touch, after feeling like such a burden and so overwhelmed for the past hours, that did Max in and his eyes burned, a whimper escaped him, and his belly squeezed tightly enough that he retched and a stream of bile and liquified breakfast splattered on the grass.

He coughed, pressing his forehead against the lumber wall so much that it hurt, and wrapped both arms around his stomach, urging up another stream.

Since he had almost nothing to bring up, he soon was only dry heaving, whole body jerking with the effort. Vince's hand had slipped between his forehead and the wall, noticing the way he was pressing in.

Max coughed, trying to clear his throat from the slimy feeling and then squeezed his eyes shut as the golden light from inside the cabin suddenly bathed the dark garden. They had been out there for so long that it was just night now, not the sunset anymore.

"Thanks," Max heard Vin say, softly, and then a new set of hands touch him. Delicate and tiny, Wendy.

"Sweetheart, I brought you some water," her voice was very careful and slow and Max clammed his mouth shut to stop himself from interrupting her with an empty heave, "I want you to drink it."

He shook his head, letting out a groan, "No-orUurp-" a half burp, half heave hit him and Max spat the acidic saliva, "not gonna stay down..."

"I know," Wendy's fingers ran up and down his arm, rhythmically. Her hand was very cold, like Vince's, so Max assumed he was the one too warm, "but you need to drink anyway, you've been throwing up for too long."

And Vin had just been there with him all that time? Jesus.

Max shook his head, "I wanna go home," he decided, whined really. If he was a little less feverish he might've realized that his request made him more of a hassle than not, but he was feeling too lousy to make sense of it. He wanted his bed, his bathroom, his privacy and to just curl up and not get out of the house for the next ten days, until he forgot all about this humiliation.

"We're going home," Vince promised him, wrapping a hand around his bicep and slowly steering Max away from the puddle of sick he had created, "can you sit down for a minute? I want Wen to check on you first."

He could do that yeah- Max stumbled back, aimlessly, and he fell, rather than sat down on the porch of the cabin. He could vaguely hear the noise coming from inside, Leo saying his name and Lucas answering. Whatever.

"Hey," Wendy's face appeared in front of his eyes, seeming a little dreamy thanks to the golden light and the dark shadows, "hi-" she smiled at him, "Max, I know you want to go home, this will be quick, alright?"

He nodded, not wanting to speak when she was so close and his breath probably was just acid. If Wendy puzzled that together, she didn't show.

Her hands came up to cup his neck, fingers pressing around and tickling him. Without thinking he lowered his forehead to her shoulder and she let out a sigh, rubbing his back, "I know, it sucks..."

She pinched his hand and then shuffled slightly, mumbling, "thanks, hon-" before grabbing Max's chin, "open up, under your tongue-"

He obeyed, still with his head resting on her shoulder, feeling like the ground was swaying under him...

Where the hell had she produced a thermometer from?

As if to answer him, Vince's voice came right by his side, startling Max as he said, "how high is it?"

"Could be lower," Wendy's fingers continued to comb through his hair, "I'm more worried about how unresponsive he is."

"I'm responsive," Max grumbled, voice muffled against her collarbone. She smelled like jasmines, was she aware of that?

"Thanks, it's my perfume," Wendy answered him, causing Max to groan. Great, he had said it out loud. He forcefully pulled back, cheeks burning with embarrassment, and the movement made his head swim.

The only thing keeping him from falling flat on his back was Vince holding him up, a big wrinkle between his eyebrows as they met in a frown, "Max?"

"Uhm?" His stomach wasn't happy at the movement, but there was no way he had anything to bring up. Max grimaced, trying to be responsive, "can you drop me home, please?"

He had known sharing a ride with Vince was a horrible idea.

Vince let out a scoff, "drop you home? Are you crazy?" he rolled his eyes, looking at Wendy in disbelief and she shrugged, as if to say she didn't understand it either, "c'mon, lets get you to the car."

"I'm- I'm really sorry about the whole-" Max meant to gesture around, to the mess, but his arm was too heavy and in the end it seemed he was gesturing to himself. Close enough.

Wendy didn't seem one bit amused, following them to the car, "quit apologizing for existing, thanks," she said sharply, then her thumb was on his forehead, smoothing the frown there, pushing his hair back, "be a good patient and drink water, okay?"

"Yes, doc," Max nodded, although just the mere thought of water made him shudder and get covered in goosebumps. He let his head lean back, closing his eyes. Oh yeah, definitely a fever, the car was swaying under him as if he was in a boat.

Outside, he heard Vince and Wendy whispering. Her voice was too low, but Vince's too deep to not be heard, "No, stay. I got him, he's probably just gonna sleep through the worst of it — yeah, I know. I'll talk with Luke later, he'll live — I promise I'll call if his fever goes up. Pinky swear — Alright, love you too."

Max turned his head, opening his eyes in time to see Wendy tiptoe to kiss Vince and then he got inside the car, in the driver's seat. She crouched down, waving at them.

He let out a sigh, "I'm really sorry, Vin..."

Vince scoffed at that, patting his cheek in an amicable way, pushing his hair back as he backed out of the property and into the dark road, "nah, that was on me. Too much, too soon. Maybe next time we should just aim for a double date, eh? Instead of a whole weekend in the middle of nowhere."

Max snorted, head lolling and cheek pressing against Vin's knuckles, "sure, maybe," he mumbled, feeling a little fuzzy inside that somehow, despite the scene he had caused, Vince clearly still wanted to hang out with him.

[lucy90712]

Something about reader giving birth ? Like Pablo in the delivery room

"Hey amor I'm home are you doing ok?" Pablo asked as soon as he entered the front door 

"I'm still very pregnant so make of that what you will" I said 

"No signs of labour then?" He asked 

"Literally nothing I don't think she wants to come out" I said 

"She will come when she's ready but at least I'm back now so I will be here when you do go into labour" he said 

"But you still have training" I said 

"I know but I've been giving my phone to one of the trainers so if you need me just call and they'll give it to me and I can come straight home ok I will be here I promise" he said 

"Good because if you aren't I'm going to kill you" I half joked 

He sorted out all of his things from the teams away game before he came back and sat with me on the sofa which is where I've spent most of my days for the last few weeks because I can't do much else. The last month of my pregnancy has been tough everything hurts and I can't walk to the kitchen without being out of breath so I'm ready to be done with pregnancy but this baby doesn't want to come out. My due date was four days ago so when Pablo went away for their champions league game I was worried I'd have the baby with him gone but she's determined to stay in there forever it seems. 

After watching me struggle to get up and seeing how out of breath I was by the time I got back from the bathroom Pablo suggested we try a few things to help induce labour. He looked up a list of things to try most of which didn't sound like fun but honestly I'll try anything to help get this baby out of me. We decided to combine two of the things together and walk to the store down the street to buy spicy foods and I'm going to curb walk the whole way there and back. It took way too long to get to the store but once we got there we bought the ingredients to make something really spicy for dinner and we got chillies for me to just eat. Then we started the long walk home to rest as I'm exhausted now. 

Pablo made dinner after I'd had a nap and he made sure to cut up plenty of chilli to put on the top of mine. If I didn't tell him to do it then I'd definitely think he was trying to kill me as it was so spicy but hopefully it will do the trick if not this was not worth it. I did have some ice cream after which helped with the spice but my mouth was still on fire. For the rest of the evening we just relaxed on the sofa until we were both tired and needed to get to sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Pablo's alarm rang at just gone 6am like it always does but I was already awake which has been a trend the last few weeks although today I've been awake pretty much all night with cramps in my lower back and stomach but that's all it was just come cramping. I thought about telling Pablo but I didn't want him to miss training for no reason so I just let him get up and help me out of bed like he does every morning. He got ready for training and made breakfast for both of us which he's got better at now that he doesn't let me do anything other than what is completely necessary. Just like every morning he kissed me goodbye and said goodbye to the baby with a hand on my bump and a promise to be home soon. 

Once Pablo left I didn't do anything I didn't even move as the cramps hurt when I move but eventually I had to get up as the need to pee was too strong. On my way back from the bathroom  there was a sudden rush of liquid running down my thighs which I knew straight away was my waters breaking but I tried to tell myself that it wasn't as now that it's happening I'm not sure that I'm ready to give birth. The the first contraction hit and I had to grab onto the nearest wall as they were more painful than I was anticipating but still I decided not to call Pablo as it's not like I'm going to have the baby anytime soon and I can't drag him away from training when nothing is going to happen for hours. 

I tried my best to just breathe through the contractions but they were more painful than I had expected. The midwives told me that as my labour progressed it would get more painful and if that's true I'm not sure that I can do it as I'm already in a lot of pain. The only saving grace is that the contractions are still quite far apart so I have time to recover in between. Each time a contraction hits I pick up my phone to call Pablo but I haven't done it yet. Every time I stopped myself thinking that I didn't need Pablo with me until it was more intense but the more I thought about it the more I realised that I'm scared and in pain and I need him by my side so who cares if he misses training if he can't miss training for this then when can he. I that's when I made my mind up and picked up my phone to finally call him.

"Hola" the man in the other side of the phone said 

"Can you hand the phone to Pablo please?" I asked 

"Hey amor are you ok?" Pablo asked after a minute or so 

"My waters broke and the contractions hurt so please come home" I said 

"I'll be there as soon as I can just hold on love" he said before hanging up 

He made it home in record time mainly because he didn't change out of his training kit. I appreciated his urgency to get home but he was all sweaty so I made him shower quickly before he could be by my side. When he came back he sat right by my side and grabbed my hand which instantly made me feel better as I'm not alone anymore. He made sure I had everything I needed he got me some water and some snacks to keep my energy levels up but most importantly he let me squeeze his hand every time I had a contraction. Having him there was nice but it didn't detract from the pain, Pablo even asked if I wanted to go to the hospital to get some help with the pain but I told him they wouldn't admit me with my contractions still being so far apart so I'll have to suck it up. 

Pablo did some quick research on what can help with the pain so he got me walking around as much as I could and he found an exercise ball that he had in his home gym for me to bounce on. He tried to massage my back and shoulders to help relieve some of the tension in hopes that would help with the pain but none of it did. My pain tolerance is pretty high but the longer this goes on the more even the slightest pain seems to hurt which definitely isn't a good sign for when the real pain hits. 

"We're going to the hospital I don't care if they don't want to admit you you're in pain and I'm not just going to sit here and watch you be in this much pain" Pablo said 

"Ok but first we have to check the car seat is in properly I don't want the nurses to think we’re bad parents when we leave and the car seat isn't right" I said 

"Of course I'll check it now and put your hospital bag in the car then I'll be right back to help you to the car" he said 

"You're the best" I said 

True to his word he was back quickly to help me walk to the car where I made him promise to drive more carefully than he usually does as I'm not going over the bumps in the road at full speed while mid contraction. He did his best to drive quickly to get us to the hospital in good time but also drive carefully which isn't his strong suit but he did his best. He's already been practicing driving in a safer way so that when we have the baby in the car he isn't trying to speed down every road and he's been doing better. Pablo has done a lot of things to prepare for the baby he's been reading parenting books and he's been to baby classes with me to help us prepare for the birth and having a newborn. We even went to a class that taught us how to do cpr on the baby in case of an emergency which was Pablo's suggestion. Watching him try so hard to learn and be better for the baby just reaffirms to me that he's going to be the best dad. 

We arrived at the hospital and to my surprise they admitted me straight away as it's my first baby so they want to be able to monitor me. We got given a room then so many people came in and out to introduce themselves and to set me up to different monitors one for the baby's heart rate and one to measure my contractions plus a few others that I don't know what they do. They also checked to see how dilated I was and I was only 3cm which really made it feel like there's a long way to go. 

Time seemed to go by so slowly every hour the nurses came to check on me but my labour wasn't really progressing it took 4 hours for me to get to just 5cm. They have offered me the epidural but so far I've refused as I know that I can't walk around once I've had that and it's not guaranteed to last as long as my labour does and I can't go from no pain to a lot of pain I think that will make it worse. Pablo has been really great at encouraging me he keeps telling me that I'm doing a great job and that once this is all over we'll have our baby girl and that's been helping me not have a breakdown. He hasn't left my side apart from to go and get the food he ordered for us which only took him a minute and he's been doing everything for me like if I need some water he's got my water bottle in his hand if I need a distraction he's got a show pulled up on my laptop. 

Eventually it got dark outside and we were still in the hospital not really any closer to this baby arriving. I'm so incredibly tired but I know I'm not going to be able to sleep with the pain so really its a vicious cycle as each contraction tires me out more but they are stopping me from getting some rest. I'm physically tired but I'm also mentally exhausted I didn't realise it would take so much out of me but I'm just so drained that this is starting to feel like I'm climbing a mountain I'm never going to be able to reach the top of.

"You need some sleep love" Pablo said 

"I know but the pain is keeping me up" I said 

"Is there anything I can do to help?" He asked 

"Not really but I'll be ok just make sure you get some sleep when she is here I need you to have had some sleep because I'm going to be exhausted" I said

"Promise you'll wake me if you need anything" he said 

"I promise" I replied 

Pablo can sleep through anything so once he was asleep I was able to get up and walk around or watch something to entertain myself as the hours ticked by. The nurses kept coming in to check on me too and luckily I was actually progressing so it's less likely that I'll need any medication to speed things up or a c section which is great as I really didn't want a c section. At the shift change early in the morning my midwife came in and she stayed to talk with me for a bit which was a nice distraction from the pain and Pablo's snoring. Once she left I waited until the sun came up before I woke Pablo up who was very startled but ready to go which made me laugh until he realised that I wasn't actually ready to push and just wanted some company and he settled down again. 

A few more hours went by but after a full 24 hours of labour I was ready to push. Knowing that should've been a relief but I'm so exhausted that I don't think I've got any energy left in me to be able to push. While all the bourses and doctor got ready all I did was break down in tears at the thought of the pain and the exhaustion I'm about to go through. 

"Whats wrong amor?" Pablo asked 

"I can't do it" I said 

"Don't say that you can do it I know it's been a long night but you've got this I'll be by your side the whole time and just remember once you do this she'll be here and we can hold her and love her" he encouraged me 

"But I'm so tired I don't think I have it in me" I said 

"You can do it once this is all over you can sleep for as long as you want we don't have to have anyone come if you just want to sleep but you can do it the adrenaline will kick in and you'll be able to do it" he said 

He gave me a quick kiss before the nurses all came back in and it was time. They gave me instructions to follow so I did exactly what they said and pushed when I felt a contraction. My god did it hurt though it was so hard to think about anything other than the pain but I powered through. The only thing that distracted me from the pain was yelling at Pablo about how this is all his fault and that he did this to me which isn't true we agreed to have a baby it was a joint decision but it made me feel better so I kept yelling at him. Pablo kept whispering encouraging words into my ear as I yelled at him knowing I didn't really mean it because I don't. 

Soon enough the nurses told me I just needed to push one more time and they weren't lying after one more push the sound of our baby crying filled the room which made me cry from a mixture of joy and exhaustion and maybe some other emotions but I can only deal with that for right now. Pablo cut the cord before the nurses handed me the baby and I got to look at her beautiful little face for the first time which only made me cry harder. That's when I looked up at Pablo only to see him crying too as he reached down to touch our little girls face and stroke her cheek. 

"I can't believe she's ours" I said 

"I know she's so beautiful just like her mama" Pablo said 

"I'm glad I did just carry her for 9 months and push her out my body I'd be a little offended if she didn't look at least a little bit like me" I said 

"You did so great I'm so proud of you I can't thank you enough for giving me the best gift in the world" he said 

"I'm just glad it's over now" I said 

"And I'm going to be treat you like a queen for the rest of eternity but especially now" he said 

"Thank you but right now I just want to sleep" I said 

He took the baby from my arms and gave her to the nurses to do all the necessary checks then he stayed by my side to stroke my hair until I started to fall asleep which is when he promised that he'd look after the baby and that he'd wake me if he needed me which is what I needed to hear to finally drift off to sleep. 

[almostempty]

get to know your moots

thanks for the tag @yxtkiwiyxt, i can never resist a classic myspace about me bulletin survey throwback bc i yearn for the days of agonizing over finding the perfect profile song

what's the origin of your blog title?: it's too much pressure to create a witty name, i've used such gripping online usernames as waterbottle, casual-stapler, oldfruit, etc..

favorite fandoms: this is all i participate in actively! but i do enjoy being exposed to other fandoms through y'all here and there

OTP(s) + shipname: i just want all of the various fictional ppcu characters for me

favorite color: black n yellow 🖤💛

favorite game: nothing recently, but i enjoy zelda games, rdr2, elden ring, and roller coaster tycoon (1999)

song stuck in your head: listening to Sativa - Jhené Aiko, Swae Lee currently

weirdest habit/trait?: dissociating in car (parked)

hobbies: reading, writing, finding new/old music, making myself laugh over silly memes, swimming, solo adventures, people watching, going to da movies, etc.

if you work, what's your profession?: drug and alcohol counseling and juvenile justice advocacy

if you could have any job you wish what would it be?: obligatory i do not dream of labor, but like @yxtkiwiyxt, for my next trick i'd like to be a digital nomad somehow

something you're good at: i have a good picker for friends, i'm occasionally funny, dogs like me

something you're bad at: being concise, perception/management of time in any manner and remembering

something you love: music, all day, every day, non stop

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: various rants about capitalism (i'm fun), movies i haven't seen but feel like i could accurately guess the plot of, my fav cursed double features

something you hate: my poor perception of time and memory issues, executive dysfunction, facing my demons aka doing IFS work in therapy

something you collect: concert vids, i think i'm the only one that rewatches them?, books, nearly dead peach ice Lost Mary's

something you forget: plans, texts, objects and people not in my line of sight, if a memory real or a dream/idea, if i've already told you the story i'm halfway through (but i still think it's funny so i intend on finishing it either way)

what's your love language?: i know it's an innocent question, but i have mad beef with the author of the book about love languages and the christian gender roles perpetuated in the book and lack of empirical research around the concepts, and the creator's homophobia, but i digress (i told y'all i'm fun)

favorite movie/show: some movies: office space, SLC punk, eternal sunshine, the thing, drive, bottoms; don't make me pick shows rn

favorite food: been unable to stop getting nachos and the poblano crema from the taqueria on my block for the last ~6 weeks

favorite animal: big time animal lover here, shout out to my dogs!! i can't choose a fav otherwise

are you musical?: i can play a couple instruments, i wish i could sing

what were you like as a child?: a pleasure to have in class

favorite subject at school?: art, but i pursued science

least favorite subject?: i never took chemistry because everyone complained about how hard it was and i figured out you didn't need it to graduate, but i suppose technically i didn't take it so can't confirm

what's your best character trait?: adaptability (i just took an updated personality test lmao to help me figure one out)

what's your worst character trait?: perfectionist (not with editing heheh)

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be?: a few interpersonal interactions

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet?: maybe an artist from the 27 club, just to see them perform

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

two completed longfics i enjoyed <3, best kept secret- enemies to lovers/bodyguard din by luckbealincoln on ao3, vampire waltz - idiots in love/ max phillips by absurdthirst, wardenparker on ao3

obligatory free memes if u made it this far

tags, but no pressure: @auteurdelabre @gothcsz @lovely-vamp-princess

@slimybeth69 @swankyorange @syd-djarin @itwasntimethatdidit40 @probablyreadinsmut @thundermartini @ace-turned-confused

@persephone-girl @thischarmingmandalorian @pinkypromisepascal

@hoelaris @lilac-boo if u read this and i didn't tag you, tell me all ur secrets and tag me anyway <3

[elephantlovemedleys]

cause i've had the time of my life and I've searched though every open door til i found the truth and i owe it all to you bridgerton season two // dirty dancing (1987)

[vivitur-moritur]

Fanart for @artsarasp's amazing System Possession AU!!! I told myself that I was just going to make a quick little sketch then I animated it??? Wild. Anyway, I really love artsarasp's au, it's fascinating and it Compels Me!!!

[deoidesign]

Ray of sunshine

(pre-launch page for their comic)

[dismas-n-dismay]

Suki - Chimera Falin amv

I present before you: The Chimera Falin Edit.

[kiwriteswords]

Wicked Game: An Aaron Hotchner x Flirty!Reader Universe

Vision Board Timeline: 1/?

[scudden]

Jon Snow :) Wanted to make a portrait with him with a medieval manuscript style border!!

[airenyah]

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 3

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7)

I really wanted to drop this before Episode 4, but the thing is I really really really struggled with this episode. The first two episode were very clear to me, so clear even that I managed binge-write my first post within a single night after having spent the previous night rewatching the episodes and taking notes. I kept asking myself the question "Style does this and acts like this, but why?" and quickly found my answers. But looking at episode 3? I really struggled with the "but why".

But let's get into it anyway. Not that I finish this post only when the final episode drops lol.

~~~ Spoiler warning for episode 4 ~~~

Pronoun situation: In my first meta post I kept up with their pronoun use on a scene by scene basis. This time I won't do that, because Fadel and Style consistently use the rude guu/mueng pronouns for each other throughout the entire episode without any significant pronoun changes.

To recap: when we last saw Fadel and Style together in episode 2 Fadel ambushed Style in the locker room and basically declared war on Style. Style launched counterattacks. They did not part on the best of terms.

No. 1: RAWR

The very first sequence at the heavy metal bar is where my first problem already arises: I am undecided on whether Style went there on purpose to find Fadel or if he went there of his own accord to have fun and just happened to run into Fadel completely by chance. Because you could make arguments both FOR and AGAINST Style showing up specifically for Fadel.

AGAINST: Style does look kinda surprised when walks up to Fadel. When they're chatting by the counter Style says he's here all the time (which is something he doesn't say about the running track or the gym – two spots that we know he only went to for Fadel). We also don't get to see Style looking at the notebook like we do before he bugs Fadel at the running track for the first time or later in the episode when he shows up at the support group meeting. What's more, Style doesn't really attempt to stick to Fadel no matter what until Fadel either physically gets rid of him or just walks away. Instead Style leaves of his own accord to have fun with people who aren't Fadel and also seems perfectly content to do so.

FOR: When Kant looks through the notebook in ep2 after Bison hands it to him we can see that the bar is in there. So Style should know this bar is one of Fadel's go-to spots. Style could be feigning surprise when he walks up to Fadel to make it look like a chance meeting and he could also be lying about being there all the time.

Whether or not Style came to the bar in order to seek out Fadel specifically or not, when he walks up to Fadel and sits down next to him it's all in a friendly manner. His behavior has an air of Oh hey there person that I know, let me say hello! to it.

Style is once again trying to involve Fadel in an amiable conversation despite their confrontation last time they saw each other. Or maybe he's trying to involve Fadel in an amiable conversation because of the confrontation last time they saw each other. Style's friendly approach makes it clear that he's not holding any grudges about it. Fadel is not up for a friendly conversation, though. In the scene by the counter he says a total amount of two sentences to Style (or even just one, if you don't count the "no" as a single sentence). Style tries to get Fadel to socialize, to get Fadel to come out of his grumpy shell and go dance with him a little bit, to loosen up and scream a little bit. Fadel won't budge. So Style gives him his space and walks off, but not without inviting Fadel to follow him just in case Fadel miraculously changes his mind. After Style clinks bottles with his (new?) friends he looks back at Fadel and nods at him before getting busy with his friends.

I want to talk about that nod for a quick moment. Because as an introvert who tends to be quiet and shy in a crowd (especially a crowd of strangers or people I don't know well) I have my fair share of experience of being alone in a crowd. And I adore that Style is making contact with Fadel again, even though he already walked away and their conversation is actually over. As I've mentioned in some tags before, some of Style's core personality traits really remind me of a dear old friend of mine. We had a time in our late (ish) teens where we'd hang out at our youth leader's flat every day. My friend and my youth leader would often play Magic: The Gathering, which is something that's really not my thing and so I'd be "left out" that is I'd be chilling next to them doing my own thing or just watching them, not understanding shit. They'd be in the middle of a game and my friend would sometimes randomly look up and nod at me like that or he would pull faces at me or do some other random shit to communicate with me for a second before focusing back on the game. These small gestures were something I always really appreciated because they made me feel included, even though I had no interest in the game and couldn't really be part of it. The way Style nods at Fadel reminds me of that. He's making contact with Fadel across the room, involving him, including him. It's a nod kind of like Hey, I see you. And yeah, Fadel doesn't really want to be seen, except deep down maybe he does.

Which brings me to the choking scene. Style is having fun with his friends (or random people he just met??). He spots Fadel, excuses himself and walks over. Almost as if he saw Fadel standing there all on his own and decided to talk to him because "You're supposed to have fun with your friends at a place like this". As if he doesn't want Fadel be all alone. So he walks up to him and starts another conversation. We get another confirmation that Style isn't holding any grudges about their confrontation in the locker room, because he actively teases Fadel about it. I'm not even sure Style is purposefully being flirty here, I think he really is going more for a playful callback to the locker room confrontation, mixed with a challenge of "So? Are you gonna go rough on me again? I dare you to do it again!"

What's more, I think at this point his brain is set to I must hit on him, so I must drop flirty shit whenever possible. So when he says Fadel looks sexy, while there sure is some truth to it and he certainly finds Fadel sexy in general, I don't think he really 100% means it in that specific moment. It's almost more as if he's saying it out of habit, just for the sake of dropping flirty shit and compliments at any given opportunity.

All in all, that night at the bar Style isn't really being annoying or flirting with Fadel on purpose. He spends the night trying to make friends with Fadel again, trying to make amiable conversation, trying to involve him in friendly banter, trying to genuinely connect with him. As if to get Fadel to open up and come out of the shell that he has deeply buried himself in. And I think what this interaction also shows is that Style is starting to have positive feelings towards Fadel. It's the beginning of Style genuinely liking Fadel more than he dislikes him. Style is slowly starting to worry and to care about him.

No. 2: The Best Way to Burn Calories

Now for this scene we know for a fact Style is here for Fadel specifically. Once again, Style blurts out flirty shit and once again it doesn't sound entirely genuine as if he actually means what he says. Kant has sent him on a mission to hit on Fadel, but Style still hasn't quite figured out how to get through to him. Fadel continuously ignores or even blocks Style's attempts to make friends with him or to genuinely connect to him and the flirting also doesn't seem to be working. (Oh, Style. If only you knew just how well your genuine flirting at the gym worked on Fadel 🤭)

Style knows very well that Fadel is annoyed by him (Fadel even explicitly tells him that it's a bad morning if he sees Style). And I think at this point Style has decided that if he can't be a positive presence in Fadel's life he'll simply just be a negative presence then. Since that will still bring him closer to his goal than being no presence in Fadel's life at all would bring him. So he just shows up, bugs Fadel to remind him of Style's existence and also drops flirty shit at any given opportunity while he's at it regardless of whether he genuinely means what he says in that moment or not. And while I'm sure there is some truth behind Style's words, I think a lot of the flirting really is more of a routine now, a habit. Since that is what he was hired to do after all.

Side quest: Body and Heart

One thing this scene touches on is that Style definitely isn't in it just for sex alone but that he desires an emotional component as well: he explicitly says he wants Fadel's body AND his heart. As I said, I don't think Style really meant the flirting here, but I do think there is some truth to his words, namely his desire to not just have meaningless sex but to also be in love.

I think, unlike Kant, Style actually isn't too big on casual one-night stands. I think he enjoys flirting around, because Style is an attention hoe, but if I had to guess I would say most of the time he doesn't end up actually sleeping with anyone. Style is charming and I think he has a lot of fun with flirty banter. And he definitely loves the attention: in episode 1 he clearly enjoys it when the girls are admiring his waist that he proudly shows off at the bowling alley, in episode 2 he gives Fadel permission to look at his naked body, and then later in episode 3 he also looks very happy and satisfied after those girls call him "hot" when he's dropping of the car keys at the host club.

Style loves the attention, he enjoys the flirty banter, but I think sleeping around no strings attached isn't truly his kind of thing. We get another hint of this in episode 1 when Kant claims "[Y]ou’re in no position to call me out when you’ve been playing around just the same". Style replies "I don’t know what you’re talking about" in a disapproving tone and with a skeptical face.

In fact, in Thai he says:

อะไรของมึงว่ะ [àrai - kŏng - mueng - wâ] what - of - you - [rude particle]

I haven't checked this phrase back with a native speaker yet, but I've often heard it in the sense of Wtf is your problem? or Wtf is up with you? or Wtf are you talking about? To me, the English subs sound almost more like Style is deflecting Kant's statement while in Thai to me it feels like Style is actively disagreeing with Kant's words (feel free to correct me on this if I'm wrong @happypotato48 🙏).

Like, Style clearly doesn't approve of Kant's accusations and immediately goes attention seeking to highlight that that is what he's all about:

Going with the crop top shot specifically because I'm SURE some of you will really appreciate it lol

The literal translation of what he says here is actually more like "I'm just checking my rating":

กูก็แค่เช็คเรตติ้งกูเฉยๆว่ะวะ [guu - gôr kâe - chék - ret-dting - guu - chŏiie chŏiie - wâ wá] I - only - check - rating - I/my - just - [rude particle]

Style wants eyes on him, not hands, and he wants to be rated the hottest person in town by everyone who takes just one single look at him, thank you very much.

What's more, right before this exchange he also tells Kant to quit his one-night stands and get a real lover, so we know Style is very much team "having a boyfriend is a good thing". Style not being too big on meaningless one-night stands will also be reflected later in episode 3 when Style tells Fadel " What kind of man do you take me for? I might look like I play around, but I’m damn devoted to love. I want to date*" when he complains about Fadel ditching him right after their hook-up as well as in episode 4 when Style tells him "I'm not just anyone. I need clarity" when Fadel points out "Some people [have sex] countless times and never called it anything" after Style asks what their relationship is now that they've hooked up twice. We see it also in the way how enraged and genuinely hurt Style is in episode 4 after the stunt Fadel pulls in the kitchen. For Style, sex isn't just sex and I think as impulsive as he can be he still makes very deliberate decisions about who he actually sleeps with.

Kant may claim Style plays around just like Kant does, but the thing is that night at the bowling alley? It's Kant who finds himself someone to spend a fun night with while we see Style leaving the bowling alley all by himself without his own hook-up. You could even make arguments about how Style doesn't actually like doing the pursuing and much rather prefers to be pursued. But more on that later.

*(Actually, literally he doesn't say "I want to date" but "I want a faen" -> confirming once again Style is Team Steady Boyfriend)

No. 3: Sweet Meat

Just like in the scene at the sports field right beforehand, Style continues to be an annoying presence in Fadel's life, if he can't manage to be a positive presence. For this scene he even turns up his annoyingness level a little more than at the running track. What's very interesting here compared to the meat stall scene from episode 2 is that here in episode 3? Style doesn't give a shit that Fadel turns away and walks off without buying anything. In episode 2 he was very quick to yield in order to keep Fadel from running away, but this time Style doesn't care that Fadel just ditches him. When Fadel has gone, Style immediately hurries after him. He's already got his next move planned.

No. 4: Burger Burger Burger Burger

I think Style tries out a different strategy here: maybe if he helps Fadel, Fadel will finally soften up to him. What's also interesting is that every word out of Style's mouth suddenly sounds a lot more genuine now compared to what he was spouting at the running track or at the market earlier that day. And I think it's because he (thinks he) is helping Fadel.

Style likes to help. We see this in the way he agrees to help his best friend by hitting on some weirdo guy (yes, of course he's also getting a car out of this deal, but I think part of the reason why he agrees to the deal is also because he genuinely wants to help Kant find love), we see this in the way he immediately takes orders from customers no questions asked in episode 2 right before he meets Bison, and we'll see this even later this episode when he throws himself into the fight despite having no fighting skills whatsoever, just because he thinks three against one is unfair and wants to help.

And if we go back to the thought that maybe, just maybe, Style actually doesn't like to pursue others then it's no surprise that his words here suddenly sound a lot more genuine now that he (thinks he) is helping Fadel compared to his half-assed attempts at flirting earlier that day on the sports field and at the market. Helping people is Style's thing. He's back in his comfort zone which means now he can be much more sincere in his words and his actions again, because there is less of a need to pretend to be a type of person that he just simply is not.

Which also results in Style being much more playful again rather than annoying. For example, when he calls Fadel a "good-looking chef" and shoves him with his his gigantic burger bun. Or when he teases Fadel about being shy. Or when he asks Fadel "You hungry?" after they end up on the ground. This time I actually believe Style's words. Where the flirting at the running track and the teasing at the market felt more like a task where Style was mostly just saying words to get the job done, now that he's back in his comfort zone it sounds like he actually means everything he says again.

There is also some sort of sincerity to Style's desire to help. Fadel, however, does not want Style's help and tries to send him away. Style reminds him that Fadel should probably be making burgers instead of wasting time arguing with him and also points out that Fadel's own brother, who is supposed to be here helping him, is nowhere to be found and that he, Style, is in fact right here by Fadel's side helping him, supporting him. I think Style is being a little overly dramatic when he says "All I ask from you is a little decency" in order to get Fadel to soften up at least a little bit and to get him to accept Style's help, but I also think Style does genuinely desire at least some form of recognition for his support as well. But Fadel won't budge and once again just abandons him.

No. 5: This Is A... kitchen

Trouble arises at the diner and once again we see that Style likes being helpful, because he rushes into the kitchen, immediately ready to help serve the customers. And this time his desire to help is real. It might also stem a little from his desire to fix things, because it is his own fault that the restaurant is overrun and so part of him might want to make up for that, too. What matters, though, is that it's not just another attempt at getting close to Fadel like earlier when he was promoting the restaurant. Fadel blocks him once again, but Style insists. And I think he really hits the nail on the head with this:

I haven't yet looked at Fadel as closely as I have at Style (oh how I wish I had the time, though *cries in university student*) but I do think that this is ultimately something Fadel will be forced to learn over the course of the series.

Anyway, Fadel tries to send Style away again, but Style refuses to go and lists a number of arguments as to why he should in fact go serve tables instead of going home. He ends his arguments by telling Fadel to learn to accept help and then then determinedly tells him that he'll go wait the tables himself. Once those words are out of his mouth he looks at Fadel almost with a bit of a defiant expression on his face as if he's waiting for Fadel to object again.

But this time Fadel says "Fine, you can wait the tables" and Style nods and raises an eyebrow in surprise and happiness, like Wait?? I can?? For real?? You're actually letting me?? I don't have to fight you some more?? You're not throwing me out again??

When Style goes to change into the uniform right there in the kitchen, I don't think he's doing it to be flirty or anything like that at first. I think in the heat of the moment he genuinely forgot that changing rooms (or in this case, bathrooms) exist. I think he wanted to follow Fadel's order as quickly as possible so that he could start helping as quickly as possible. That is, until Fadel tells him off and sends him to the bathroom. Style responds by playfully teasing Fadel about being shy. Style is in an excellent mood now because it's one of those rare occasions where Fadel accepts Style's presence rather than trying to get rid of him. And while I do think Style changes in the kitchen anyway in order to tease Fadel, I don't think he's necessarily doing it to tease Fadel for sexy reasons but rather for playfully petty reasons. Because Fadel keeps scolding him and yelling at him and when Fadel tells him off for changing clothes in the kitchen, Style does it out of spite. Like Oh, you don't want me to change in the kitchen? Well, in this case i DEFINITELY have to change in the kitchen, then. I will say, though, that there is definitely a little bit of an Oh, you're NOT shy? Well, prove it, then! in there as well. But I don't think that this thought is Style's main focus here, because apart from this one look that Style throws Fadel right after he's pulled his shirt over his head...

...from what the camera shows us he seems more focused on the clothes and the action of changing them rather than on Fadel's reaction to him getting naked:

We, the audience, were shown Fadel's reactions to Style getting undressed and I think if Style had taken note of these reactions, the series would have made a point in showing us that Style notices Fadel's crisis. And our chatty cat here would have 100000% teased Fadel about it. What's more, Style has no idea just how much of an effect his naked body had on Fadel back at the sauna. Style has absolutely no idea that Fadel went and fantasized about him afterwards. So Style does not (yet) know that his naked body is one of the strongest weapons he currently has in the fight for Fadel. So Style does not (yet) realize that he could be using his body in a much more deliberate manner. And I don't think he realized it in this scene either, because as I said we would have been shown his discovery. So Style leaves the scene none the wiser, but eager to help and absolutely stoked that Fadel actually lets him for once.

No. 6: Death by Spatula?

Unexpectedly, Fadel drops lore of himself and I think that piques Style's interest because Fadel almost NEVER drops lore of himself. Pretty much all the things Style knows about Fadel are things he got from other people (like all the information in the notebook) or things he found out by himself (either because he's picked up on them in all their interactions so far or because he actively did some research like when he looked up Fadel's name). There are only two other instances where Fadel himself revealed something about himself to Style:

When Style finds him at the gym, Fadel drops that he doesn't like it when it's crowded and that this is why he likes going to the gym at night.

When Fadel tells Style that he runs a burger joint in the "sensitive nipples" scene and also mentions that he does everything by himself. Although this incident barely counts, because Fadel didn't really give this information voluntarily but was instead kind of forced to since Style had found the pin of his restaurant.

Usually, Fadel refuses to reveal anything about himself. But now Fadel is overwhelmed by the many customers and in his stress he lets slip that he doesn't need money and that he only runs the restaurant for fun. When Fadel then also claims not to be rich, Style immediately finds it sus. Lucky for him, though, he won't make the right guess until later in the episode and so he manages to escape being prematurely murdered with a spatula. But Style doesn't know that.

Instead, Style just got a lot more intrigued by Fadel. This is one of those incidents that make Style want to get to know Fadel out of his own curiosity and not because he wants to help his friend and is getting his dream car as a reward. Style is starting to take a genuine interest in Fadel as a person and his positive feelings towards Fadel grow.

No. 7: First Bites

When Fadel wordlessly hands Style the burger it's the first time that Fadel is actively reaching out to him. Reaching out to him in a friendly manner that is, not to ambush him in a dark locker room and start a fight. And Style is absolutely delighted that Fadel is finally taking a step towards him instead of walking away from him like he usually does. And Style being Style, he of course has to immediately make a big deal out of it: "Are you finally folding? Was it because of how hard working I am? You like me now, don’t you?"

Actually, I wanna take a little detour to the language side of things again. The English translation has a question tag only on the last sentence, but in Thai Style actually uses question words that give a sense of "right?" or "isn't that so?" at the end of every single one of these questions.

นี่มึงเปิดใจให้กูแล้วใช่ป่ะ [nêe - mueng - bpèrt - jai - hâi - guu - láew - châi bpà] [interjection] - you - open - heart, mind - to, for - I/me - already - right?

I actually really like the expression he uses in Thai: he says เปิดใจ [bpèrt jai] which consists of the words "(to) open" (เปิด) and "heart, mind" (ใจ). To me, that gives me the feeling of Style not just asking Did I manage to win you over? but more of a feeling of You are finally opening (your heart) up to me, right? You are finally letting me in? which I think is a much nicer image in regard to Fadel's character and Fadel and Style's relationship.

มึงเห็นความขยันความตั้งใจกูแล้วใช่ไหมล่ะ [mueng - hĕn - kwaam kà-yăn - kwaam dtâng jai - guu - láew - châi măi - lâ] you - see - diligence - intention, determination - I/my - already - right? - [particle]

I don't know if others feel the same way, but in the English translation the "hard working" part mostly makes me think of Style working hard with helping at the restaurant before this conversation. A more literal translation of what he says in Thai would be "You've seen my diligence and determination, haven't you?" and I'm sure he's actually more referring to his determination and relentless efforts in getting close to Fadel.

I just really like the way Style phrases all his questions here in Thai. Fadel has enclosed his heart deep within him in very thick and high walls and no one gets access to it. And Style's task isn't that he has to get Fadel to simply just fold to him, surrender to him, but what he actually needs to do is to search for a way to reach Fadel's heart. His options are either to tear down Fadel's walls by sheer force or to somehow get Fadel to trust him so much that Fadel will willingly unlock and open up the doors leading to the depths of his heart. And it's like Style is asking You're finally letting me in, right? You're finally recognizing my diligent efforts to reach you, right? You no longer hate me, right? You like me now, don't you?

And I don't think Style is necessarily flirting here and means to ask if Fadel likes him romantically. On the surface, yes, he is definitely also asking if the flirting (attempts) have worked and if Fadel is starting to fall for him. But I think a lot of this is also about how he has on multiple occasion now tried to form a genuine connection with Fadel. Just in this episode alone we can see it in the way he asks Fadel if he likes heavy metal at the heavy metal bar and then tries to get him to socialize, tries to include him. We can see it the entire time at the restaurant just now where he's voluntarily helping because he genuinely cares. There are even more instances in the first two episodes, which I talk about in my first meta post of this meta series. Style has tried to bond with Fadel multiple times now but Fadel has always blocked his attempts and I think a big part of Style also wants to know if Fadel is finally starting to have at least friendly feelings towards Style. That Style is finally going from being an annoying presence in Fadel's life to being a pleasant presence in his life.

But Fadel shoots him down. "Don't get your hopes up. This is your wage." (Fun fact: in Thai Fadel actually tells Style not to เวอร์ [wer], which is a slang word coming from the English word "over" and, if I remember my Thai friend's explanation from a month ago correctly, is used to indicate that what someone is doing/saying is "too much", so what Fadel says here could be taken as "don't exaggerate" or "don't be so overly dramatic" or "don't be so hyped")

Style immediately complains that the burger is too little of a wage, but also won't let Fadel take it away from him again, insisting on eating it anyway. It might not be much of a wage, but that burger is important to Style. When Fadel sends him home, Style dramatically laments being exploited and thrown away. I think this is yet another one of Style's attempt to get some friendly banter out of Fadel. But Fadel isn't having it. Fadel makes it clear that he wants Style gone asap and Style is annoyed that Fadel keeps making him leave. I think Style is genuinely enjoying hanging out with Fadel at the burger joint and also genuinely wants to stay. His positive feelings continue to develop.

Special shout-out also to the way Style loudly goes "Mmh! Mmmh!!" while chomping down on the burger to make sure Fadel knows exactly how much he's enjoying Fadel's food. Which isn't just food in this instance, no, the burger also stands for an unspoken thank you for helping me and symbolizes the first time Fadel has actively reached out to Style on his own and done a nice thing for him. Style is making sure Fadel won't miss just how much he appreciates this gesture.

No. 8: A Fly on the Wall

Oh, how desperately I wish we knew at which point of the conversation between the brothers Style came in exactly! This is going to drive me insane, because I have no idea just how much of the conversation Style overheard, which unfortunately is important information for the interpretation of his interactions with Fadel from this point on. Most of all I really NEED to know if Style happened to hear this specific line:

Fun fact: in Thai he doesn't actually say "you wanted to rely on" but he says (ที่)มึงจะไปอยู่ด้วย [(thêe) - mueng - jà - bpai - yòo - dûuay] which should translate to something like "(that) you were gonna be with" or "were gonna live with" (disclaimer: I didn't double-check this with a native speaker) which sounds much more like a serious relationship to me rather than when phrased as "dude you wanted to rely on". And we'll get the confirmation of an ex-boyfriend later in the episode.

Now the question is: DOES STYLE KNOW ABOUT THE EX-BOYFRIEND NOW?? DOES HE KNOW FADEL WAS IN LOVE BEFORE?? PLEASEEE I NEED TO KNOW 😭😭😭

In my quest to find an answer to these questions I did come across a strange background noise that comes right after this line, though. A background noise that could very well be interpreted as Style sliding open the door. So for the sake of my own sanity I'll go with Style only having heard this part of the conversation for sure:

F: Why did you bring this up? K: I just want you to tell your brother how pipe dreams always end. In this line of profession, no one waits for you.

This is yet another incident that gets Style genuinely curious about Fadel, about who he is exactly. Style will certainly be wondering about what that profession is from now on. And he will certainly be wondering about what that profession could be after he watches Fadel beat up three grown men like it's nothing. And he won't know that he will have hit jackpot with his guess.

No. 9: Private Show

Where the masturbation scene from episode 2 confirms that Fadel feels genuine physical/sexual attraction to Style, this scene confirms that the feeling is mutual on Style's side of things as well. Style, too, finds Fadel's body hot. What's more, he never stops looking at Fadel. And not just at his body, but throughout his fantasy, Style is always searching for Fadel's eyes. In fact, he rarely takes his own eyes off of Fadel's face, and when Style does direct his eyes somewhere else it's always only for a very short moment. I think this once again shows that Style desires an emotional connection next to a physical one as well. Sex isn't just sex to Style, he wants more with it.

It is said that eyes are the windows to the soul, so another reason for the intense eye contact could be that Style also wants to stare deep into Fadel's soul to get to know him better in a quest to find answers to who this mysterious person really is. Because by now Style is genuinely curious. He has genuinely started to care.

Remember how I mentioned that arguments could be made for Style actually liking being pursued more than doing the pursuing and that I would get into this later? Later is now.

At this point I want to plug @clemelntine's extremely interesting perspective on the two sexual fantasies that we've gotten so far and what that means for the storage room hook-up. I'm not gonna reiterate everything, but I do want to pick up on what she says about Style specifically:

No matter how much he annoys Fadel in the day to day and how much he seems to take the upperhand in those interactions, when it comes to sex he likes in the idea of letting Fadel do what he does/wants.

In Style's own fantasy, Style is sitting back, he's letting Fadel take the reins, do the work. This is also in line with @secriden's excellent meta on Style's true desire being to be pursued, which I also really encourage you to read. Again, I won't repeat the entire post, but she highlights how Style will downright create opportunities for Fadel to lay his hands on him and how "every single time Fadel even shows a HINT of wanting Style, he immediately falls pliant, like he can't wait to let Fadel take the reins" (quoted from @secriden). And we see this desire in the fantasy too. Style imagines Fadel being the active one while Style gets to sit there and enjoy. Our little attention hoe here likes it when people are actively after him.

I was struggling to really make sense of Style this episode. In the first two episodes, whenever Style was being annoying there would be some sort of trigger for it. I was confused especially in the beginning of this episode, because I didn't understand how and why Style would go from trying to genuinely bond with Fadel at the heavy metal bar to being annoying at the running track and at the market when nothing seemed to have triggered it. I could tell Style was being annoying on the sports field and at the market, but I really couldn't figure out the "but why?" of it all. But if we look at his behavior through the lens of "Style actually prefers being pursued over doing the pursuing", I think it makes more sense. Style prefers for others to put in the effort of pursuing and now that he's forced to do the pursuing himself he doesn't really know how to go about it, especially when the person he's trying to woo has walls high up to the sky and continuously shoots him down. Style shows up and drops flirty lines but he doesn't even really mean them because he doesn't actually want to do the pursuing. The inauthenticity in his insistent approach is what makes him annoying in those scenes. And it's also not what works on Fadel – it's when Style is being genuine that he actually reaches Fadel, like when he was helping him wait tables (which Fadel recognizes by rewarding him with a burger) or when Style was being playfully flirty in the sauna (which results in Fadel fantasizing about him at night).

No. 10: Mark Style Down As Scared AND Horny

We will later learn that Style doesn't believe Fadel about needing more money for the restaurant and was just acting stupid to gain Fadel's trust, but when I first sat down to take notes for my meta I wasn't sure if Style was being entirely accurate/truthful when he said this, since he witnessed Fadel taking on three grown men only after that whole conversation about the restaurant. So why would he feel a need to gain Fadel's trust before that? At first I thought that maybe Style did believe Fadel for a moment there, especially also because he presented Fadel with an excuse as to why he was working there right away and then also sounded a bit too sincere when he offered support to Fadel. However, on second thought I'm now thinking that maybe he really does distrust Fadel's claims from the start.

Outside the host club Style approaches Fadel and I don't think it's with the motivation to flirt with him but rather to find out why exactly Fadel would be here stripping for some ladies. It's a bit odd that he immediately offers Fadel an out of "You need the money for your restaurant, right?" when he's trying to get answers, but maybe this clumsy approach at digging for answer is already part of Style playing dumb on purpose to gain Fadel's trust. But why would he need to gain Fadel's trust when he hasn't even seen yet what Fadel is really capable of?

While it is true that up until the "why are you working as a stripper" conversation Style hasn't witnessed the real danger that Fadel poses, there've still been enough incidents to make him suspicious of Fadel. It already starts right during their first meeting when Fadel won't let Style get near his car. That's weird, Style finds it weird. Next thing Style knows is that Fadel also doesn't have any papers for said car which is very odd again. In episode 2 Style gets a little hint of Fadel's dangerous side when Fadel ambushes him in the locker room. In episode 3 he learns that Fadel opened the burger place just for fun rather than to earn money and that apparently Fadel isn't rich and yet somehow still has the resources and the time to run a whole restaurant for fun. Shortly after that he (likely) overhears something about a "profession" which clearly can't refer to the profession of being a burger joint owner. Style has enough reasons to be suspicious of Fadel, even before he witnesses Fadel's badass fighting skills. Style has reasons to gain Fadel's trust and to stay on his good side, especially since Style himself is hiding ulterior motives and can't risk Fadel getting suspicious of his own true intentions. So Style plays dumb, offers Fadel an out, and when Fadel takes that out Style raises his eyebrows and hesitates for a moment like Oh, okay. We're going with the lie, then, before he offers Fadel support.

The conversation gets interrupted by those three men looking for a fight and for the first time Style gets to see just how dangerous Fadel can get when he wants to. This is where Style truly realizes that something really is very, very OFF about Fadel. It's no longer a joke or a gut feeling, no, this is confirmation that something here is incredibly shady. And Style wants to get to the bottom of it.

No. 11: Hit by Apollo's Ball of Prophecy

There've been a few incidents that got Style curious about who Fadel really is behind his thick walls and his tough exterior, a few incidents that got Style curious about Fadel's lore. But watching Fadel take on three grown man without any major problems and having them run away in fear was the last straw. Style's motivations officially change. Getting Kant's car is less important now than finding out the truth about Fadel. Style definitely exaggerates a bit when he says that Fadel must be some kind of hitman, is being dramatic as usual. It won't be much longer until Style finds out that Apollo has actually hit him with the gift of prophecy.

No. 12: Rise Up

Style is determined to find out more about Fadel's life and promptly shows up at yet another location he knows Fadel will be at. I'm not sure Style was aware this meeting was gonna be about grief and loss before he arrived and saw the sign. At least from the notebook it's hard to tell because the drawing only shows a group of people sitting in a circle of chairs with the caption "rise up". That could really be about anything. For me personally, my first association (especially in combination with the words "rise up") would be a Christian bible study group, although I doubt that Style, having been raised in a predominantly Buddhist country, would necessarily have this specific association with that image and those words, too. Point still stands that nothing about this image strictly points to loss specifically. (Technically we could say that since there's no address in the notebook, Style might have googled "rise up" in order to figure out where to go and seen on the website that it was a meeting for grief and loss. However, as we didn't actually get to see Style do any research and find this information, I'm just gonna run on the assumption that he genuinely didn't know and that maybe he got the address via Bison or something. Or maybe he actively stalked and followed Fadel, idk.)

Style stops in front of the sign, double-checks that he's at the right place, and then nods in determination, kinda like alright, let's do this, then, before he enters.

Another reason why I don't think Style was aware what this group meeting was gonna be about before he arrived is the way he's kinda confused when the group leader asks him to tell his story. The group leader elaborates ("Something you’ve lost, or the changing point in your life.") and Style, who was looking at the group leader while listening to his explanation, turns his head to look at Fadel right after the group leader says the word จุดเปลี่ยน [jùt bplìian] (= changing point). He stares at Fadel as if he's wondering Did he lose something? Was there a changing point in his life?

Style can't dwell on it for too long, though, because he has just been asked a question and now needs to come up with a cover story.

And this is where Style really starts to get out of line. He dishes out a story about some dog, which I don't really want to get into right now since at the point of me writing this we're only 4 episodes into the series and who knows, something might as well happen later down the line that could recontextualize Style's story (looking at you, Boonterm mention! 👀), but I think it's safe to say that Style isn't too involved in his story emotionally. When he cries, the crying is cringe and it's NOT because Dunk is a bad actor (far from it!!) but rather it's because Style the character isn't taking himself seriously here. This is also highlighted in the smug look and nod he shoots Fadel in the middle of his crying performance:

His behavior is very disrespectful, but I don't think he's being disrespectful on purpose. I think this is another one of his idiot boy moments where he is just really fucking stupid. Style is impulsive and doesn't think things through a lot and I think in this scene he is also so absorbed in his goal of getting to the bottom of Fadel and his mysteries that his tunnel vision on his goal prevents him from realizing the effect his actions can have on those around him, the consequences his behavior could bring. We saw it before that Style sometimes doesn't see things as much of a big deal as they actually are when he doesn't think much of texting while driving (as elaborated in my ep1 meta). Besides, his behavior has worked out pretty well for him all episode, with the worst consequence being Fadel simply just walking away from him, and Style even got to celebrate small victories like when Fadel made him a burger. So why would Style be changing his behavior now? There is no reason for Style to act differently, and so he continues to bug Fadel as usual and it genuinely doesn't occur to him that his behavior could be disrespectful or out of line.

Maybe if Style had had more time to dwell on the thought of Is Fadel here because he's lost someone? he might have realized that the situation was a lot more serious than he had originally thought and that his words/actions were gonna be out of line and that he shouldn't have been doing this, but alas that is not what happened. He didn't have the time and so he immediately gets distracted fabricating an elaborate story to answer the group leader's question and doesn't spend a single one of his brain cells thinking about his behavior and its consequences. He will soon learn about the consequences, though, because Fadel is seriously pissed now.

No. 13: Giving You What You Want (But Is It?)

Fadel is pissed and goes to confront Style in the privacy of a random storage room. Style is obviously lying to Fadel through his teeth. I do think there's some truth to it when Style says "I have my own problems. You’re not the only one" but whatever problems in life Style currently has (especially if there's anything connected to loss and grief), these problem's really aren't at the forefront of his mind right now. We know for a fact that Style is lying when he explains that he found the support group via the internet, that meeting Fadel was a coincidence and Fadel doesn't buy it either. What we, the audience, also know but what Fadel doesn't necessarily guess is that Style is also lying about how he is hitting on Fadel because he likes him and because he wants him. "Nothing more than that" he says, but as the audience we know that this is also bullshit because we know he was specifically sent by Kant and that a car is waiting for Style when he succeeds. What we also know, though, is that Style is definitely physically/sexually attracted to Fadel, so when Fadel offers to hook up with him, who is Style to say no?

I think this nc scene surprised a lot of us because it didn't go the way most of us were expecting it to go. As has already been pointed out in various posts by various people, Style is surprisingly passive during the entire act (at least, that we get to see). They have next to no eye contact, Style doesn't initiate a single kiss and barely touches Fadel except to hold him and to run his hand through Fadel's hair. But why is that?

Many a thing has already been said about this scene and about the characters' motivations and I don't think there is one specific interpretation that is the One Truth. I think many truths exist in this scene at the same time and there are many factors as to why the characters were acting the way they were acting. Emotions are complicated and sometimes you can have many of them simultaneously.

An interpretation that I haven't seen floating around yet is that part of Style's passiveness could also stem from the fact that he was caught off-guard. I don't think he was expecting Fadel to go Alright fine, have me, then. In fact, I think when Style told Fadel "I like you" and "I want you" those were mainly empty words again. Because this time he didn't seek out one of Fadel's usual places in order to to hit on him, but because he wants to find out the truth about Fadel, wants to figure out the reason why Fadel is so shady. But then he ended up pissing Fadel off who then promptly started a fight with him and Style needed to cover up his own intentions when he threw those words into Fadel's face. Style says "I want you", but he doesn't actually mean it in that moment and his actions do not reflect the I want to bang you sentiment at all either. We've all seen the sauna scene, we know how Style behaves when he actually wants to get into Fadel's towel pants. And this isn't it. So when Fadel suddenly and uncharacteristically does let Style get into his pants gets into Style's pants, I think that throws Style off and he momentarily doesn't know how to respond to the situation.

Plus, as @nnnn99999 writes in her meta, there is also the emotional disconnect. At this point of the story, neither of them is in love with the other just yet. Yes, there is mutual physical attraction and yes, by now Style has taken an interest in Fadel beyond the car, has started to develop positive feelings for Fadel and has at times actively enjoyed interacting with Fadel, but they still have their own motives and intentions and emotionally they simply just aren't quite on the same page yet. Style desires both body and heart, but both of their hearts simply aren't properly in it just yet. I don't think Style minds hooking up, he's definitely consenting to it and also enjoying it, but it's just not quite what Style dreams of, not like this. In a way, yes, it actually is what Style has dreamed of because his fantasies of Fadel doing things to him rather than him doing things to Fadel are now becoming reality, as @clemelntine beautifully explained in her meta, but in the real situation there's one important detail missing from Style's fantasy: the intense eye contact. In addition to Fadel's body, Style also wants that emotional connection. We've seen this times and times again whenever Style has tried to make friends as well as to genuinely bond with Fadel, and this desire extends also to the sex.

And lastly I want to leave you with @braceletofteeth's excellent tags on this post, which is something that I think also factors into why Style goes from being proactive to being passive in the blink of an eye:

#Fadel said he would give himself to Style #and Style let him do that #he barely touched Fadel except to hold him and caress his hair #he reciprocated the kisses but did not initiate them #he didn't try to take any more of Fadel than what Fadel willingly gave him #[head in hands]

During the entire nc part I kind of get the sense like Style is waiting. Waiting to see with a certain curiosity what Fadel will be doing next, what Fadel wants to do next, ready to happily take up whatever Fadel offers. Style is letting Fadel control the situation completely and doesn't push him once.

No. 14: Kiss or Slap?

Once again we see that Style isn't too much of a fan of casual hook-ups. And while I do think part of his motivations for saying the things he says and for trying to stop Fadel from abandoning him again is because making Fadel his boyfriend specifically rather than just hooking up with him is his goal here after all, but I do think that Style isn't lying this time. He's just a bit too annoyed when he asks "What kind of man do you take me for?" for it to be an act. I think he is genuinely offended that Fadel would think of him this way. And I think he's genuinely a little upset and hurt that Fadel is perfectly happy to sleep with him and to ditch him immediately after. We get foreshadowing to Style being very much Team Anti Hit-and-Run in episode 1 when he tells Fadel "It ain’t like me to hit and run" in the context of an actual car crash and earlier this episode when he laments "Oh, the nature of man. He will exploit you and then throw you away". Style is very much not happy with this turn of events and it's not purely because he hasn't yet completed the mission Kant has sent him on. We also get another hint of Style looking for a connection in his hook-ups in the way Style is looking at Fadel when they're getting dressed while in contrast Fadel has turned his back to Style completely, avoiding eye contact and avoiding any interaction:

Another thing that I want to point out is that Fadel says "I gave you what you wanted" and "We agreed on it" when Style tries to stop him from leaving. However, they didn't exactly agree on anything? Fadel started kissing Style before they could even come up with any terms and conditions and the thing is when Style said he wanted Fadel, he never said he wanted Fadel only once. And he also never said he wanted Fadel to run away immediately afterwards.

So Style puts up a fight. He firmly stands between Fadel and the door, blocking Fadel's way. Fadel threatens to punch Style if he doesn't move but Style refuses to stand down even though he knows very well from personally witnessing it that Fadel is perfectly capable of punching him if he wished to. Despite that, Style is not scared of Fadel. I think Style takes Fadel's sudden willingness to sleep with him as a sign that Fadel has finally developed some sort of positive feelings towards Style after all, too. And Style is confident enough about it that he trusts that Fadel wouldn't hurt him. When Style says "You like me" I don't think he necessarily means it in the sense of you're in love with me or you're crushing on me. I think he's calling out Fadel's change of heart (that is negative feelings turning into positive feelings) and is making it very clear just how confident he is about Fadel not hurting him. I'm not scared of you. I've become a positive presence in your life now. You wouldn't dare to injure me. It's a counterattack to Fadel's threat. But Fadel's trauma runs deep. And so he punches Style because giving him a bit of a beating is still better than risking to face the consequences of what might happen if he lets anyone get behind those thick high walls. And he punches Style also a little bit to put him in line for his cockiness.

And also, I may be a Style apologist and a Style enabler, but after that shit Style pulled at the group meeting that punch was totally deserved.

Please don't expect me to write a proper conclusion bc my brain is absolutely fried now bye <3