#too good to say goodby

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Too Good To Say Goodbye pt8

Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader, Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

A/N: First I wanted to say thank you to everyone for all the kind messages I've been receiving, I keep rereading them and tearing up. It lets me know that there are genuine people in the world and that I can take a few days or a week to finish a request. Sorry this part took a bit longer due to the short break I took, I'll try my best to get the request I have out in a timely manner!

warnings: cursing

part 1 I part 2 I part 3 I part 4 I part 5 I part 6 I part 7 I part 8 I part 9 I part 10

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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A drive to Lily's that normally would've taken 25 minutes depending on traffic only took Lando 10 and I think the way he is flooring it right now has been the fastest he's ever driven in his life. I mean anyone could've easily mistaken him for Max Verstappen in this moment and rightfully so, my bastard of an ex-boyfriend and baby dad is an absolute dick for what he just did.

I get being upset that I'm pregnant and that my boyfriend right now is treating me 10x better than you ever will but actually spoiling the gender for us AND spoiling the fact that I'm carrying twins is on another level of insanity.

When we dropped Yelena off, Lily had told us she wasn't going to be expecting a baby pick up anytime soon. Which by the way, God bless Lily for just being able to drop whatever she had planned for today to be able to watch my kid while Lando and I dealt with baby daddy drama.

The blaring sound of a ringtone is what yanked me from deep in my thoughts. I picked up the phone to look at the caller ID before answering and placing it on speaker "Carlos, now is really not a good time". I said while running a hand over my face to try and ease some tension building up.

"Logan's at my place." Lando's knuckled gripped the steering wheel tighter at the mention of his name.

"Why is he there and why does he need to have a conversation with you present?" I questioned

"He told me to tell you and Lando to meet him here to talk to you but wants me present and he thinks Lando is going to kill him." Carlos started, doubt coating his voice as he talked.

"I FUCKING AM" Lando screamed as he pressed down on the gas pedal harder.

I’ve seen Lando upset and even angry before but what I was seeing from him right now wasn’t either of those, this was pure hatred. Lando was seeing pure red in his vision as he was driving, almost hit a pedestrian (who shouldn’t have crossed but people don’t pay attention to signs).

Now that Lando knows he has to book it to Carlos’ place instead of Logan’s he makes a sharp turn, which could’ve easily flipped the car if you weren’t as much of a skilled driver as Lando is.

"BABE! I KNOW YOU'RE MAD AND ALL BUT DON'T CRASH THIS CAR AND KILL ALL 4 OF US!" I screamed as I grabbed ahold of the center console

Something about the fear in my voice as I screamed at Lando seemed to get through this barrier of red he had coating him and he seemed to ease up on the steering wheel and drove a bit more safer.

-

Arriving at Carlos house, we were greeted with Carlos standing out front. Lando and I got out of the car and started making our way to the front door of Carlos' luxurious house while Carlos started walking towards us, meeting us halfway.

"Ay, I talk to Logan. He meant no harm pero I think he did. He is in the living room." Carlos said as he patted Lando's tense shoulder before turning his attention to me. "I'm so sorry Logan did what he did. I feel so bad but just know that I'm here for you with whatever you need." Carlos added while he pulled me into a hug.

I've always loved Carlos' hugs because of the level of comfort they always brought was just unmatched. If you're sad, have a Carlos hug, if you're happy, have a Carlos hug, if you don't want a hug, have a Carlos hug. Moral of the story: a Carlos hug can fix everything. Well, almost everything.

"Thank you Carlos, I really needed that hug. I just-" The sound of glass breaking is what caused me to stop mid-sentence and I turned to look over at my boyfriend, only to find him no where in sight.

My heart dropped to my feet when I was met with no sign of my boyfriend and all I could hear from a distance was arguing. Carlos wasted no time in spinning on his heels and running into his house and into the living room where all the arguing was taking place.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IN YOUR MIND, YOU THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO SPOIL A FUCKING GENDER REVEAL BY POSTING IT ON INSTAGRAM AND ON TOP OF THAT SPOILING THE FACT THAT WE'RE HAVING FUCKING TWINS!!!" the voice of Lando booming louder as I inched closer to Carlos' living room.

"I DID IT BECAUSE YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME! YOU TOOK MY BABY, MY LIFE, MY GIRL, YOU TOOK IT ALL! I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR!" Logan shouted in rebuttal, his face contorted in a way I've never seen before and his skin as red as a tomato.

When our eyes locked, I could see Logan's eyes soften but when he opened his mouth to say something, Lando cut him off.

"I DIDN'T 'TAKE' YOUR GIRL, I SHOWED HER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE IN A HOUSE WHERE SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT DOING SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER EVERY MOVE. I SHOWED HER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE IN A HAPPY AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, I SHOWED HER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE LOVED BY A REAL MAN! I SHOWED HER EVERYTHING YOU COULDN'T AND YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE YOU'RE A COWARD!" that seemed to set Logan off because the second the word "coward" came spilling out of Lando's mouth, Logan lunged towards him in an angry manner.

Before they could make any type of contact, Carlos was in the middle trying to set some type of boundaries between them.

"YOU GUYS ARE NOT FIGHTING IN MY HOUSE! LOGAN, OUT NOW! BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!" That seemed to be enough for Logan to walk away but not before stopping in front of me, his face so close to mine I could feel his breath against my skin.

"I hope I never see you again until your fucking funeral, slut." Logan walked away brushing his shoulder past mine as he did.

I knew Logan felt some type of way towards me since I left him while I was pregnant and refused to give in to all his promises of being a better man for me but hearing those words coming out of his mouth hurt. I always hoped we would be able to work it out for the sake of Yelena but after what he said, I don't know if we can, even if I wanted to.

Everything after what Logan said was blur, I don't remember him leaving, I don't remember Lando running after him and Carlos after Lando, but more importantly, I don't remember my legs giving out under my weight and me collapsing to the ground.

All at once everything started to hit me like a semi-truck. The pain in my knees after the fall, the ache in my heart but also the excruciating pain in my abdomen.

"BABE?! BABY ARE YOU OKAY? CARLOS GET THE CAR STARTED! WE HAVE TO TAKE Y/N TO THE HOSPITAL!"

-

The whole car ride to the hospital had to be the worst 15 minutes of my life. Every bump or sudden brake of the car increased the pain in my abdomen by 10. At one point it literally felt like there was an elephant sitting on me, restricting my oxygen intake.

When we finally arrived, Carlos quickly parked in front of the ER doors before rushing inside. Less than 30 seconds after running into the hospital, a group of doctors and nurses came running outside with a gurney.

Seeing them, Lando swung the car door open and quickly got out, allowing them better access to get to me.

Getting transferred from the back seat of the car to the gurney hurt just as suspected but they quickly rushed me in so they could evaluate my symptoms to tell me what's wrong.

No matter how much pain medication they gave me, the pain was still too much to bear.

"Do you want us to give you something to sedate you?" The student doctor said. She sounded genuinely hurt at hearing how much pain I was in.

"YES! PLEASE, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" I screamed and I watched as she grabbed the vile of liquid.

Just as the student doctor was done giving me the sedative, I heard the doctor come in.

"So, unfortunately I've got some ba-AH NO! WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER?"

"I- Uh, Gave her a sedative?"

"YOU'RE NEVER SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WITHOUT CONSULTING ME! THE SEDATIVE IS GOING TO DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD!" that was all I heard before slipping into unconsciousness.

-

After I fell unconscious and was of no use, my doctor made his way to the waiting room to have a talk with Lando in order to figure out the steps going forward.

Once Lando locked eyes with the doctor, he shot up from his seat "Doc, how is she??" Lando asked as he searched the doctors face for answers.

"Unfortunately your girlfriend has a rare condition that affects the babies called Monochorionic Twins, which is where the babies share the same placenta and amniotic sac which can cause tangling of umbilical cords, imbalance of nutrients, blood and problems to other vital organs. Your girlfriend also has a history of major bleeding, vomiting and dehydration during pregnancy which also puts her at risk. We have to operate to save them, the babies have a 25% chance of survival and would have to be in the NICU for many months whereas your girlfriend has a 75% of surviving with minimal damage to any part of her reproductive system. " the doctor started, he tried to look and sound as sympathetic as possible.

"What are you saying Doc?" Lando asked, his breath and hands shaky and his knees trembled beneath him.

"You have to choose who we save, your babies or your girlfriend."

-

Again, thank you guys so much for the overwhelming amount of support I've received in the past few days. I appreciate and love each and every single one of you guys and I hope you enjoy this part.

Unfortunately this series is coming to an end soon but I really don't want to say goodbye to it yet.

taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @eddieharrington @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy @a-panseuxalmess @love-simon @tallrock35 @iiaik0ii @Milkyymelanine @ilovsyou3000morgan @styl1shl1v

[leah-lover]

Alone. Leah Williamson x reader.

Smut 18+

Motherhood was no easy job. Kids, they take all that you have. From privacy to time, all your day would revolve around them.

You and Leah have been mothers to your twins for four years. In those years all you two did was work as professional soccer players and mothers. You both wanted to create the best childhood for your children so you would spend all your waking hours with them. From swimming lessons, to dance lessons, to soccer practice and play time at home you were swamped.

Another problem with your kids was that they were attached to you, they wouldn't sleep anywhere over near anyone but you two.

You missed your wife very much. You missed her touch, her dominance, and her feeling inside you. Luckily, Leah was very close to her mother. So she and the rest of her family have been bribing and manipulating your twins into staying at their house for a sleepover. The idea wasn't easy at first but after trial, error, and time they successfully confused them to go to their house.

—------

“ Goodbye my loves, have a great night.” You say as you wave goodby to your twins and slam the door shut.

As soon as the door was closed you were hit with a wave of silence that you have been craving for a long time. There wasn't anyone asking for anything or screaming loudly, there was only silence and an embrace from your wife.

“ I am gonna run the bath, you bring the champagne.”she whispers in your ear before giving you a kiss on the cheek.

After a little while you go to the bathroom with a bottle of rosé only to find Leah lighting candles, and blasting relaxing music.

You both strip off your clothes and go to the bathtub. You lay on Leah’s chest leaving only the bubbles between your naked bodies.

“ I have missed you so fucking much “ says Leah while placing small shallow pecks across your shoulder to which you reward her with a small soft moan.

“I missed you too baby. I missed your lips on my skin and your hands inside me.” You whisper in her ears before starting to kiss her slowly and properly. Your kiss was needy and filled with months’ worth of longing.

You stayed in the tub for a little while talking, kissing, and in each other's arms.

You reminisced about your time before children. The times when you would have multiple rounds a day anywhere in the house. You also remembered all the times you got caught in the middle of sex, and when you were loud and scared your sleeping babies.

“Baby I need to feel you inside me “ you say to her squeezing her thigh.

“So needy baby.” She exclaimed.

She then picked you up after you got out of the tub and took you over to the bed. She placed you down, your body still damp from the tub, parted your legs and slid between them. She then kissed you but this kiss was rough and demanding. You always liked that there were two sides tho Leah, the one in the tub and the one kissing you now.

“Leah please please fuck me “ you beg.

“are you that fucking needy for me baby? Is your clit craving my touch this hard?”

“ Yes daddy please fuck me I will be your good girl please daddy.” You beg her.

She then rolls down your body kissing every inch of those skin until she stops at your core.

“Is all of this for me? Did I make you this fucking wet baby?“

You respond by releasing the filthiest moan of the night. She then starts to kiss your inner thighs, then she places shallow kisses on your clit followed by real kisses, then she starts to slowly rubbing circles on your swollen, puffy clit. It didn't take much for you to start begging for her to let you come ,which she agrees to.

“ One more time baby “ she demandes as she gets out the strap and puts it on her core. The strap she chose was double ended so both of you could feel each and every thrust. She started out slowly putting the length of the whole strap in and out of you fucking herself on the process.

“You are so fucking beautiful.”she whispers when she leans down to kiss you. After a while she starts to pick up the pace and fucks you harder and faster. The room was filled with moans and whimpers coming from the both of you.

“ Want us to come together “she says before leaning down again to kiss you. She then puts her head on your shoulder and fucks you harder and deeper which sets you both over the edge.

After you both calmed down and Leah has disposed of her toy, you lay in bed, you on her chest.

“ I love you so fucking much “ she whispers, kissing you temple, dizzy with love.

“I love you too. We should do this more often.” you joked before falling asleep.

Let me know if you want part 2.

[thatfrailsoul]

– Nourishing your soul, treasuring your bonds

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

("Sleeping Beauty in the Wood", Maxfield Parrish)

It is already challenging enough to find within ourselves the courage to be who we want, who we truly are... Enough to assume that once done that - there is nothing, no one, else to worry about... And yet here you are. Pressured by this doubt that you shouldn't have in the first place. The one that choosing your own self - your goal, desires, your needs - might be not right for you, or even worse... not aligned with the path of your loved ones.

So... are you doing the right thing by choosing yourself? Will the ones you cherish understand and help you with this journey? Will your paths still remain aligned, side by side? Can you really do this for yourself, without being forced to say to them goodby?

Slow down for a moment. Breathe. Listen to your heart, to its rhythm. Allow it to speak to you. And choose the image that seems so familiar, calling so strongly your heart. Remembering that, whatever the message might be, you are free to listen to it or to let go. Without the need to make it fit. Because your true answer will always find you, the moment you will be really ready and will have the need.

_

A little message to the beautiful soul that requested this reading: Your questions truly moved me. I felt them deep down, as I too asked myself the same things so many times... So I wanted to do my best by looking closely at each question on your mind. It will be a slightly long reading... But I hope that it will give you the clarity that you are trying to find.

_

– Pile One,

three of swords, six of cups, the hermit

When we are growing, feeling the real change in ourselves, in the parts of us that for so long we didn't take care of and forgot... It is inevitable to feel more deeply, to see things that we never noticed before. In the world around us. In our life. In the people by our side. It is inevitable to, suddenly, feel resistance, perhaps judgment from some and even concern from others... Exactly in those things and actions that are so connected to us feeling better, stronger, more confident about what we deserve and who we are...

And it's confusing, you know. First comes the hurt and frustration, of doing all this work but not being seen, congratulated, appreciated for the new aura radiating from us and that makes us so proud. Almost like they don't like and don't want the better version of us... Then comes in the doubt and fear that it is the truth. That what you know for sure is the best thing for you... It's something that is so inconvenient for them. That perhaps, unconsciously, you once again became fond of people that were just so good at wearing a mask. Hiding underneath their true them, that is so different from who you want by your side and who you want to become.

And all of these doubts and convictions are so overwhelming for your mind. The only place where you have the courage to think about it, to consider, to try to find a solution... Because just speaking up and asking them about it out loud... feels so risky, so dangerous. Something that will be the end of a bond that perhaps is completely fine, and that you are complicating on your own in your mind.

But the thing is... Although we can indeed sometimes misunderstand one intention for another, through their actions or their words... There are only so many times that you can wrongly read the room or their tone while they are speaking their mind. Even if you convince yourself that sometimes you are a little too defensive or feeling a little "too much"... you are not naive. You are not completely new to this world. You already had these doubts, these uneasy feelings, these intuitions or fears about those by your side. It's not the first time that you are being supported on your decisions or journeys, and in the same way it's not the first time that you discover that someone is not in fact your "ride or die".

And this exact fact that it is not the first time, of fearing to need to let go of someone, being so affectionate but at the same time aware that you are for some reason not aligned, makes it all so incredibly hard... that you wander if perhaps making a step back and leaving the things the way they were, might be better than creating so many changes and chaos in your life.

But you are doing the right thing, you really and truly do. You didn't go so far, found this strength and courage, to doubt this journey now. Now that you are already halfway through it. So close to the finishing line. You didn't go through all of this for yourself, to ask then if everything will be fine, if they will in the end understand, accept the new you and stay... When what you truly want and are afraid to know is if you indeed need to let go of them as you are feeling now. If you need to leave behind those that judge so much who you are becoming, already hurting a version of you that is still so new, even if it will hurt so much your heart.

You already know all of this deep down, that it might indeed be the necessary thing to do. And you are also aware of the fact that you don't really want to do it, to choose between you and them, losing one or another, not being able to maintain both. You remember how difficult it is, feeling, being alone. And it only complicates everything. A decision that you are not able to make because both options see you suffering, because of others or of the void left in the place where they used to be.

So... Let me rephrase it a little for you: do you really want to need to justify your decisions or who you are, constantly defending yourself from those that should support and appreciate you and your life? Are you really ready for a constant battle with those by your side?

Because, are you doing the right thing by choosing yourself or not, is not even a question that should cross your mind. You are on the right path. You are doing the right thing. You are doing just fine. You are actually making the most important steps in manifesting on your own that life that you want to experience and enjoy. Starting from you. And through you - with those around you.

And this moment of resistance, this moment of you seeing so much difference between you and others in your life, it's not a way of the Universe to tell you that you are making the wrong decision, becoming too different and less relevant or appealing to those that you want with you. But it's rather a way to make you understand that not everyone can or needs to stay here for a lifetime. Not everyone can be satisfied and completely aligned with what you have in mind. And if there is a right way to choose who to have by your side... well it's for sure by sharing your feellings and thoughts, your desires and intentions, openly. Seeing who feels excited for you, who is proud of you and understands... Or who is feeling hurt, only because for once you are prioritizing your own self and what is the best for your life.

We indeed are, at some extent, the people that we have by our side. They influence us in how they treat us, their opinions, their convictions in which we start to believe too. They form you, consciously or not, through the ways they support you or judge you, limiting your decisions or your steps.

So don't hide in your mind for the sake of others. Don't try to analyse or understand all on your own. Looking for a solution to make everyone happy and satisfied. Think only about yourself now, exactly like this journey requires. Follow your own plan and path. And allow others to be themselves, like you are the true you now. Even if it means that your paths will go different ways. Because no matter how sad or difficult, it is still fine. To be different and to live different lives.

And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

_

– Pile Two,

the four of cups, the eight of coins, the ten of cups

Look at you - you are just blooming. With all the courage and strength that you've found to finally and truly take care of yourself. To nourish your soul, make it smile and feel free and alive. You got through so much, through so many new and uncomfortable steps. You faced and made peace with so many parts of you that were consuming you, filling you with anger, fear and despair...

You did it. You truly did. But you managed to do so by hiding yourself. Creating that safe space away from everyone. From their opinions, "advices" regarding your life and how you should make it through. From all the people that talked so much, but so rarely listened to you. Becoming for yourself, on your own, the closest and dearest person by your side. The one that you can truly trust your heart with, the one that can so gently calm your mind. You connected to yourself so deeply, finding so much within yourself... that you don't really feel the need to have someone else. Especially those that remained their old self, not changing even a bit in this time that you spent by yourself.

And now that you "came back", felt strong and confident enough to meet them once again... The difference between you, the moments of silence or of the conflicts, were just too loud. And where before you felt uncomfortable, you just started feeling completely out of place now. Seeing only strangers in a life that is supposedly full of people, so many of them by your side.

But there is a thing about you... About how you don't really accept the idea of giving up, of considering something, someone, a lost cause. You didn't do it for yourself, demonstrating how much a person can change, grow and start to shine again. And you don't want to do it for them, for those that... You really do want to see one day understanding you, the way you see and feel this world, perhaps finally appreciating you, cherishing you the same way you learned to do it with your own self and them too.

And you can really do it. You can really see this change in them one day, even if now it seems so impossible to find a way to speak to them more deeply, enough to touch their soul and give them a new goal, a new hope. It will happen. It is already happening now. Because of you.

With your courage, or despair, in finding your true self, in taking care of yourself, you unconsciously created an example. You demonstrated silently that there is no need to suffer and be pressured by a version of you that just doesn't fit you so well anymore. You showed that, although something so new and perhaps complicated at first to do - it is so worth it. To open up. To your own self and to others. To this life, the things that it always teaches us, but that we sometimes are not so ready to learn and make ours.

You created something so beautiful, by simply choosing yourself no matter what. Like a little seed that you hid in their subconscious mind, it started to grow, manifesting itself in their actions and decisions. That for once started to be for themselves, for their good, for their safety and wellbeing. Unlocking a new version of them, that sees so much more now in their life and their bonds. Cherishing every moment more.

It might not be something that you can see already now, not when it is something so little, that even they are only now starting to notice and appreciate more... And not everyone will bloom and grow... But those that will, they will surprise you so profoundly, they will surprise themselves. In seeing how much your paths evolved and changed, aligning themselves even though you both started to feel like it is time to let each other go.

You will rediscover each other, get to know again so many people that you were convinced to already know, finding out how actually similar, closer your hearts are. But... Just give it time. Be patient, the same way you were with yourself and the journey that you were on all this time. They are growing too, they are changing, and it is something that goes so differently for every person, that requires a different rhythm and pace from perhaps the ones that were comfortable and right for your soul.

Don't worry about it, everything will be fine. Continue to focus on yourself, on protecting your new boundaries and expressing your new ideas and passions. Gently, sweetly, exactly like the way you are. Radiating your beautiful light, and showing others a way to find their own right path.

And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

_

– Pile Three,

the knight of cups, the king of swords and the six of coins

When we start to strive for more, to have this deep need for a change, for a better life and us... It is sometimes almost impossible to not be overwhelmed with all that motivation and energy. With that desire to do everything at once, making progress as fast as possible and being finally able to enjoy this better life.

It is so difficult to not get caught up in all of this... That sometimes this incredible glow around your soul that grows so beautifully - just starts to blind your own eyes and mind. Making you see - where at first there was so much enthusiasm, motivation, exciting new steps - just so many more sacrifices and things to do. Just for a chance to live well and feel good.

And it just drags you back down. In that discouragement and tiredness, in that doubt of really being ready to start this journey. Of wanting it truly at all. And while you fall back in this spiral, in this paralysis of not knowing what is best or worse, if to need to work for a new life enduring again all those challenges and battles... Or to continue this one even though it just doesn't speak anymore to your soul... In all of this your mind is just working too much. Day after day, doubt after doubt, making you forget a little but important detail: you don't need to do it all alone.

Yes it was you idea, yes it is indeed your story, your life that you are doing all of this for... But a journey is not always so limited to only one soul. It is not always meant to be faced on your own. But you assumed it, too caught up in these emotions that a start of a new journey filled your heart. You isolated yourself, hid yourself from this life that doesn't suit you anymore, and from the people around you that just didn't felt aligned. You hid yourself, and started to create everything from scratch on your own. Facing so many new things and questions that you never considered before. Refusing to ask for help, to have opinions of others, because you knew for sure that the same way they never understood they won't do it now too... You convinced yourself of this. Taking away from you perhaps one of the most powerful and beautiful details of a journey: the strength and courage that gives you the not being alone.

It is true that, no matter how much you love those by your side, they are still so different in the way they see and feel this world, in how they want to experience this life... But different is not always negative. It is not necessarily source of judgment, lack of understanding and appreciation, lack of support... Sometimes, exactly that "different" is what can help you find new solutions, answers, new ways of overcoming an obstacle on the road you are trying to walk. Sometimes it is exactly that support and needed hand that can help you navigate your emotions and doubts.

They are different. But this doesn't mean that they don't love you or don't want to see you bloom as the most beautiful flower of this world. They are here for you, and they show it in the only way, from the only perspective that they know... But they can also do it differently, if only you let them learn, allow them to understand fully what is it that you are looking for.

They have so many other versions of perceptions and opinions different from yours. But this is where their strength is. This is where the strength that they can give you is. So many new ways of facing things, of advices, of experiences, of more delicate or more straightforward approaches. So much help that they can give you on your journey, if only you allow them to.

Don't hide yourself, don't assume that they will not understand. Because there is nothing that they want more - to help you be your authentic and most confident self. You grew up, you changed, your mind learned so well to be open to others and their ways. And they can do it too. If you allow them to learn from you. To stay by your side as you make your first steps, to see you, to feel you. And to protect and guide you, helping you to don't doubt, to don't be afraid, and to believe in yourself.

And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

_

_

[thigholstercas]

So I wanted to have all these parts of scripts that I love with destiel moments that were erased, changed, or added context in one place. Bare in mind that there are some that are Production Drafts and others Writer's Drafts, and so on.

4x02 - Are you there, God? It's me, Dean Winchester

Oh honey, he's gonna be your husband

Honestly, I'm just putting this here because I love this scene.

5x04 - The End

Cas received the order to follow Dean's commands once, and he sticked to it up 'til the end of everything.

7x17 - Born again identity

Just remember, this was after everything that happened in season 6 and widow!dean arc 1.0

Forward to Cas' speech in 15x18, yes the parallels.

Swear this is a whole Dean thesis. If we go back to what started this whole thing in tmwwbk. Dean tells Cas, we can fix this. And he never stopped wanting to fix it.

8x17 - Goodby Stranger

Like, I know they established that it didn't make sense for Dean to say I love you here, which fair, and we ended up which I need you (somehow worse).

But if we look at this as a whole, what Dean might understand is that saying I love you makes people leave him. Fastforward to the part when Dean takes the sigils so Cas can find him and Naomi visits and tells him that Cas doesn't return his feelings. Fastforward again to the You didn't trust me because even if we get to know that it was hard for Cas to leave with the tablet, away from Dean, Dean doesn't. For Dean, he left him, without even acknowledging that he loves/needs him, ignored him, and didn't trust him. Imagine you say I love you and you are left feeling abandoned, betrayed, and angry.

8x19 - Taxi Driver

This in the middle of I love you, and You didn't trust me is something

8x22 - Clip show

The one guy that's always had your back.

9x22 - Stairway to Heaven

Don't know what they smoked to write this, but I want some

10x23 - Brother's Keeper

You'll see the word shattered used a lot. This very much both destiel and drowley imo.

Season 12 is weirdly filled with these, so here are special mentions (because the max of pictures is 30 and there are too many moments). Most likely, it has to do with the market research by the end of 2016, which is why from 12-15, these scenes are more emotionally charged.

Mary saying Good friend when Dean and Cas hug in 12x01

Cas told Mary I promised (Dean) when they were talking outside the barn before going in to help Dean save Sam in 12x02

Dean telling Mary Get him outta here! when Cas was wounded in 12x12. And of course, when Cas says the things they have shared changed him (but that's on screen)

Cas texts? from 12x16

Dean is a worried husband on 12x18.

Dean explaining that no matter how much Cas messed up, did the wrong thing, or every dumb move he got it in 12x20. Cas was always Cas.

12x10 - Lily Sunder has some regrets

Dean telling Cas he has changed, and it has all been for the good. Again, forward to 15x18.

12x19 - The Future

This whole episode is charged with scenes from Dean and Cas. Like you have the angry Welcome home from Dean when Cas returns from Heaven. Dean calls Cas a super strong dude in a trenchcoat. The mixtape scene with the That was a gift. To keep. And Dean softening a bit even if he's angry because he's more worried.

But I think the biggest one is this one. The destiel sex scene (jk)

And after this, even though it is said in the show. There is more insistence from Dean to not let go of Cas -> We're not gonna let you just walk away. Not again. Not happening.

12x23 - All Along the Watchtower

The word shattered is mentioned a lot in the scripts. This is every part that describes Dean's reactions after losing Cas. Forward to 15x18.

13x06 - Tombstone

This is one of the best things that never happened in the show. You have Dean choking down his emotions saying he's much better now and Cas who fought with the empty with everything he had in 13x04 to return to Dean, coming to a meadow near a windmill because Dean thought he'd like it.

13x14 - Good Intentions

Forget about the in love part. They are best friends, and we didn´t get this.

13x20 - Unfinished Business

He lost Cas and it damn near broke him. Not we lost Cas, I.

14x12 - Prophet and Loss

Losing Dean was unacceptable. Cas said that losing Dean was unacceptable. And Dean got emotional. And then forward to 15x18, Cas just goes no, Dean can't die because that'd be unacceptable to me, so i'll sacrifice. And then, Dean gets emotional. Again. But for Dean, the unacceptable happened.

15x09 - The Trap

Forward to 15x20. In this future that Chuck showed Sam that he lost Dean the second Cas was gone.

Have I said how much they used the word shattered. Anyway, Dean wanted Cas to stay. That's his best friend.

He's amazing.

15x18 - Despair

This is not that different from what it was filmed, it is just that seeing it described makes it different. Especially when you get things as Still beautiful, still Dean Winchester, Dean is emotional, stunned, shocked. And have I said how much they used the word shattered. Also, you can see how it starts as a confession because Cas is confessing that he made a deal, but then it ends as a declaration, a declaration of love. Which makes testament such a good word for it.

15x19 - Inherit the Earth

The fact that Dean couldn't say Cas was gone

He's not the ultimate killer. He's not daddy's blunt instrument. He's someone who raised his little brother for love, who fought for the world for love and the most caring man on Earth

15x20 - Carry On

We don't talk about this episode because the script has way too many [omitted] but this is exactly what happened in 15x09 when Chuck showed their future to Sam if they followed the road they were taking.

Okay, that was it. Probably missed some, but for me, these are the parts that stand out.

[muxshwriting]

my good luck charm

Carlos Sainz x Indian!reader

summary: everyone is looking at Carlos at his home gp to win. but Carlos isn't bothered by the pressure, he's too busy looking at you || word count: 1092 || masterlist

REQUESTED by @malvikareader : Carlos and Indian reader meet at Spanish gp and he is mesmerised by her

It was utter chaos. Everyone was looking at Carlos as the homeboy hero of the Spanish GP, saddled with the expectation to win his home race. He had been dragged from interview to interview by his PR manager but all he wanted to do was have a moment to himself to breathe and relax before the race. Yes, he was driving a Ferrari, one of the top performing teams of the season and Carlos had been one of the few drivers to win a race so far.

You, on the other hand, were having the time of your life in the F1 paddock. You'd been invited by your agency as a PR stunt for your new modelling campaigns. You were infamous, one of the most successful models of your time. Not only were you stunning, you cared about real issues. You were trying to work towards a brighter future, focusing on issues such as climate change and poverty across the world.

Carlos was stuck at yet another interview where they asked him the same questions as the others. He replied with the same generic answer he'd given everyone else, casting his mind away from the interview and subtly glancing around the rest of the paddock to see what was going on. It just so happened to be when you were walking past the interview pen, locking eyes with Carlos.

Whatever answer he was giving began to come out stuttered as Carlos stumbled over his words, utterly captivated by you. The world seemed to slow as you waved at some of the fans scattered next to the track, laughing at something one had said. God, why did you have to laugh like that? Carlos could barely breathe. He wanted to be the one to make you laugh like that, no one else, just him.

"Carlos? Hello?" The interviewer was trying to get his attention and Carlos begrudgingly looked away from you.

"Sorry." He quickly apologised. "Can you repeat the question?"

★--~-~--★

Ever since catching your eye, Carlos had been searching for you in the paddock. No one seemed to know who he was referring to (given the sheer number of celebrities on the grid) but it didn't dissuade Carlos. The race was a couple hours away as Carlos weaved his way through the garage before being stopped by his race engineer.

"Carlos! I think media is looking for you to meet some ambassadors for sponsors and stuff." He explained, pointing to the office area.

"This can't wait until after the race?" He was distracted enough already, he didn't need to add simpering up to sponsors to his list.

His engineer simply shrugged. "Sorry man."

Carlos sighed, takes a deep breath and then makes his way to the media manager's office. To his surprise and shock (and delight) he sees you quietly talking to someone else. Also to his delight, he sees you wearing a ferrari jacket you didn't have earlier, a jacket that had his driver number plastered on the back.

"Hello." Carlos internally kicks himself for just saying 'hello' to the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.

You're first to introduce yourself. "Hi! I'm Y/N, an ambassador for Ray Ban. It's really nice to meet you considering I watch you race almost every week-" You seemed to cut yourself off from rambling on after meeting him.

Carlos only grows more lovestruck. "No problem. You'll be watching today?" He assumed you were but wants any excuse to keep talking to you.

"Yeah." You offer him a small smile. "You'll do great, I'm sure."

"You think?"

Your smile only grows. "Oh yeah. I'll be cheering you on."

"I'll make sure to win for you." He sends you a wink that has your cheeks warming at an alarming rate.

He's pulled into conversation with a few other ambassadors but continues to catch your eye from across the room. Eventually, he's pulled back down to the garage floor to get ready for the race and has to say goodbye to you.

You go for a hug that Carlos greatly welcomes. "Good luck." You whisper to him. "You'll do great."

You end up in the back of the Ferrari hospitality, anxiously watching the race. Carlos started on the second row, working his way through the front runners and navigating a risky pit stop strategy by his team. He had taken the lead of the race six laps from the end, holding off Verstappen until the end of the race and finishing in first place.

The garage went nuts, mechanics jumping up and down with glee. You could hear the crowds cheering for their driver's win at his home circuit and joined in with the celebrations. You find yourself swept with the crowd as they rush down to the podium area to watch the cars arriving. Carlos jumped straight out of the car and into the arms of his team. As the adrenaline began to wear off, he caught sight of you standing by the side of his engineers.

Your face held a look of awe as he walked closer. There were a few stray tears (of joy) in your eyes as you hugged his tightly. "I told you you'd do great."

"All for you." He confessed, pulling away and seeing Charles behind him with a smug grin on his face. "I've got to go but- can I see you later?"

"I'll come to your driver's room, yeah?"

Carlos' smile widened. "I'll be waiting for you."

You watched in admiration as Carlos stood in the Spanish sunshine, soaking in his victory. He couldn't stop his eyes from drifting to you, ignoring the cameras that were watching him and watching where his eyeline kept straying to. Both of you were oblivious to the eyes watching you, unable to look away.

You both met just outside Carlos' room, embracing properly. He pulled you into the room, away from prying eyes and you took your chance, diving forward and pressing your lips against his. Carlos froze beneath your touch, making you regret your actions and begin to pull away to give him space.

Carlos did the opposite, he deepened the kiss, reaching up to hold your face in his hands and pull you even closer. The two of you separated, sharing the same breath in the small room.

"Can I come watch you again?" You whisper into the air, suggesting a future.

Carlos met your eyes with a solemn look. "I wouldn't want anything else. Besides," He joked. "You're my good luck charm now, you can't leave me with bad luck."

[fluffysucker]

Say Something.

Bucky Barnes x Reader (Mob Au)

'You are the one that I love, and I'm saying goodby'

It is written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female.

A/N: I was writing a request that was so fluffy but couldn't shake this from my head. I had to let it out. Let me know if you want part two. Also, if any of you wanted to in a taglist, you are so welcome. Likes, comments, reblogs are VERY VERY highly appreciated. Opinions really matter to me

TW: Mentions of physical abuse. Mention of miscarriage.

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Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you tried to focus on the good things. Your hair was combed to perfection. Not a single strand of hair falling from its place. The hairpieces made the hairstyle ravishing. The simple makeup look you asked for was excellently done. Highlighting your best features with colours that work best with your skin tone. However, the best thing yet was the dress. It was your dream dress. It hugged your body like it was made specially for me, which it was. From the material, the shade of the white, to its exact length in centimetres, the dress was dazzling. And the look was beautifully finished with the white flowers you were holding.

You looked stunning. The most gorgeous you have ever been. However, you didn't feel like it. You wanted to get out of here. You wanted to disappear. You wanted to hide from everyone. It was becoming too real. There was no escape. Before the panic could take over and make you break down on the floor, the door to your room knocked. You turned to see your father enter the room.

On this day, they said fathers get emotional. They would tear up or cry. You would be able to see the undying love they have for their little girls as they grow up. But you could only see one thing in your father's eyes. Victory. He was about to have the biggest deal of his life finalised today, no matter what it cost. You wondered if the signs had always been there. That your rocky relationship with your father would lead to this. The lies you used to tell yourself that your father loved you were never true. That your happiness mattered nothing in the face of his interests. At least he had the decency to tell you that you looked beautiful.

You locked your hand between his arms as he led you outside, where everyone was waiting. You tried to ease your nerves and draw the biggest smile your face could handle. You stood in front of the door as it opened. There was no going back now.

You tried to focus on the music playing and the bright blue sky instead of the people staring at you. You wanted the aisle to be longer. You didn't want to reach the end. Because for you, it was the end of everything. Your wishes weren't granted. Your father came to a stop. He pressed a kiss to your cheek as he handed you to your future husband.

It took a lot from you to keep a smile on your face. Standing in front of your husband-to-be, holding your hands between his foreign hands. You were trying to convince yourself that the smile on his face was genuine and that maybe it wasn't just an accord with him. Maybe there was still hope. Which is why you avoided his eyes so you wouldn't be disappointed.

But you should have known better. You should have known that it was not his eyes that you should have avoided. It was the ocean blue eyes that never left you. But the moment you noticed him, you couldn't turn away. His eyes spoke loudly. So loud. Pain and defeat are coated with anger and rage.

You remember vividly your last conversation together. Your crying and begging for him to understand. His accusations of not loving him enough. But you did. You loved him enough. You loved him too much. Which is why you refused to let him stand in the face of your father. You couldn't let him risk his life. You couldn't let this kind of danger fall on him. And most certainly not because of you. Your father was neither understanding nor loving. So if you had to live miserable lives, he could live his life. That is a sacrifice you were willing to make. And just like that, your three-year relationship was down the drain.

You couldn't help but stare at the man who meant everything to you. who your heart beats for. The love of your life. He was sitting close, yet so far. It should have been him standing here. It should have been the happiest day of your life. But fate was never on your side. Starting with making you fall in love with your father's rival

You thought about the days you spent together behind closed doors so nobody would see you. The lazy morning in bed with you cuddled up in his arms The movie nights that would always end with heated makeout sessions. The secret dates under nobody's eyes. The stolen getaways so you can finally be free and act like the so deeply in love couple that you were. The happiest days of your life. Now they were memories you kept so close to your heart.

You collected yourself quickly before your act would fall as your fiancé squeezed your hand. You heard him say the two words, and you wanted to cry. You wanted to shout and scream. You wanted to throw a tantrum like a child. That was how desperate you were. But you never did. The officiate turned to you to ask you the same question. You wanted to have the courage to say no. Stand your ground. Tell the truth. Run away with the man who has ever truly loved you. But you couldn't. There was too much to lose.

With one last look at the man who would always have a hold on your heart, you kept the tears inside, and with a heavy breath, you turned to the officiate and said, "I do".

"And now, I announce you as husband and wife." Waves of clapping and cheers filled the decorated garden while dreed filled you.

And just like this, you went from being a Pierce to being a Rumlow. And you lost Bucky Barnes.

Twirling the straw between your manicured fingers, you were standing at the bar. Taking a break from all the chatting and loud laughter. You were delaying rejoining the others. The act has been getting harder lately. You were trying to stay a little bit longer in the peaceful corner of the venue. Until you heard his voice. Your thoughts stopped. Your heartbeat went faster. You knew he was in here. Your circle of acquaintances would usually cross. You would meet on these occasions. But you never talked or acknowledged each other. Stolen glances were all you had ever done.

You gave in to the urge and turned to look at him. You couldn't help the smile that formed on your lips. You hadn't been that close since before the wedding. He looked so good. The expensive black suit. The huge frame. The low bun. The well-trimmed beard. The strong perfume. You felt the tears gather in your eyes. You missed him terribly. Beyond what you ever thought.

Your staring must have caught his attention, and he turned his sight in your direction. He didn't expect to find you here. He knew you went off to hide somewhere for a little bit. He didn't know it would be at the bar. You always tried to steal some time away from these events. He often kept an eye on you whenever he knew you were an attendee. It was a force of habit. A habit he couldn't break despite how hard he tried.

After the wedding, he hoped that every time he met you again, he wouldn't feel his heart move from its place. But this time, it never came. Every time, he was taken back by your beauty and grace. Your captivating eyes and sweet smile. You were always the most beautiful.

And there you were, sitting close to him. Yet so out of reach. How he wished he could take you away and escape this world. The bartender placing his order in front of him broke you both out of your trace. You regained control of yourself, pulling the drink to your lips to take a sip. That's when he saw it. The reason for the distance between you. The reason for your downfall. The wedding ring with a big diamond ornamenting your finger

"Mrs. Rumlow." He cleared his throat before he spoke his bitter word.

The last name was never music to your ears. However, for him, it was like a hit in the gut.

"Mr. Barnes." You understood why he would choose to be so formal. To the world, you were rivals acting civilised. Nobody knew what you both meant to each other.

God, he missed your sweet-like-honey voice. It soothed him and put his mind at ease. Now, it was a harsh reminder of a harsher reality.

"Congratulations on the new deal. I heard it was very successful." Despite the bar being less crowded, you were still surrounded by people. You couldn't let them know the truth or even sense something. You had to act normal. Like you never knew him outside of this room.

"Thank you." The shortness and stiffness delivered the message. And you heard it loud and clear. Your attempts were unwelcome. So you decided to leave. Your time hiding away was running out anyway.

However, as you were getting up, you miscounted your steps, making your long dress tangle with the stall. You expected to fall down and make an embarrassment out of yourself, but the pain never came. You only felt a familiar, strong metal arm wrapping around your waist, catching you. This time, you were so close. You could feel his hot breath on your face. His eyes stare so deeply into your soul. His arm tightened around you. You almost gave up. You prayed your eyes weren't showing it all. But they were. It would explain the confused expression on his face. Your eyes were screaming at him. Sadness wrapped in pleas for help. A complex look. He should have let you go now, but he couldn't. He missed having you in his arms. He missed everything about you.

The call for your name brought you both back. He steadied you to your feet before ripping his arm away. You straightened your posture, regaining your composure after this accidental slip. An immediate smile was drawn on your face as you saw your husband approaching. He came to a stop next to you, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"Been looking for you, baby." Your husband spoke as he kissed your cheeks.

"I was getting us a drink." You didn't lie. Usually, you would bring him a drink so he wouldn't get suspicious of your absence.

"Always so considerate." He laid another kiss on the top of your head. Being overly affectionate in public was something you were used to from your husband.

"Ain't I the luckiest guy in the world, Barnes?" He turned to Bucky, who was still standing in front of you.

"Yes, of course." Despite his neutral tone, he meant it. Any man who had you had the biggest blessing. He envied this man with every fibre of his being.

Both men talked about work very briefly. It was a formality. An act to go with the night. It was very well known. Bucky Barnes and Brock Rumlow don't get along. Their mobs weren't on the same page. But for the sake of the bigger picture, both had to learn how to coexist. Temporarily, at least.

"This reminds me. Are you free next week?" The bizarre question caught Bucky off guard.

"I'm throwing a party for our second-year anniversary. Would love it if you could come." Brock pulled you closer to him as you laid your hand on his chest, your smile not breaking for a second.

"I want to celebrate the best day of my life." It's the irony of the world that Brock's best day is Bucky's worst. He still remembers the heart-wrenching feeling of watching you marry another man. The excruciating pain of losing you

He was about to turn down the invitation. But he remembered the look in your eyes. Sheer helplessness and hurt Even if it was for a split second. Even if you looked so happy now. He wasn't going to take his chances. He couldn't turn away from your call for help, even if you didn't voice it.

"I wouldn't miss it." And he didn't. And he never regretted something more.

The party was a blast. A beautiful celebration of love. You and Brock looked so happy. A perfect couple. He wanted his instincts to be right. But only came face-to-face with his worst fear. You were happy with another man. A man that wasn't him. And could never be him.

Between the gala and the party, Bucky tried to look around. See if he could find anything out. To get a glimpse of your life behind the lights. And he got nothing. Only good things. Maybe his longing for you made him misread the signs.

After the wonderful speech Brock gave about you and your marriage, Bucky couldn't take it anymore. He had to leave. And most importantly, he had to let you go.

You barely met again after that day. He avoided even the galas that he would see you at. He needed to move on. He needed to forget you. He needed to let go of the girl who turned his whole being around. even though it was going to crush him. He had to.

He spent more time at work. More than he ever did. He started doing the dirty work again. Something he stopped doing for years. But he needed an outlet for the pain and rage. An escape from the brutal reality.

He knew how pathetic he was being. It's been two years, and he can't let you out of his mind. He tried to see other people. But it would only be physical. He couldn't find it in himself to be vulnerable or emotional with any other woman. Only you managed to tear his walls apart. Only you invaded his being. Sometimes he wishes he had never met you in the first place. The sweet girl sitting in a corner by herself in the over-the-top gala. He knew Alexander Pierce was your father. But he couldn't resist. You took his breath away the moment his eyes landed on you. And when he got to know you, you blew his mind away as well. You were nice, kind, polite, understanding, trusting, smart, and everything good. He had to have you. And he did. He fell head over heels for you. You gave meaning to his life. Bucky was madly and deeply in love with you. He still is.

And by some miracle, you loved him too. You let him have you. He remembers, after your first time together, As he held your exhausted form to his chest, he heard your sleepy voice whispering something he should have expected. "Please, when it's time to leave, let me down slowly." Of course, you would think he was only using you for something. He couldn't blame you. So he made it his mission. He would show you how much you meant to him. How much he loved and cherished you.

So maybe he should have fought for you? Shouldn't have chosen the city's peace and safety over you? Should have risked it all?

But this means nothing now. He had to move on.

Now, he was sitting in his office in his mansion. Sitting on the couch with his drink in hand and Steve and Sam on each side, They were joined by a dear guest. Nick Fury. Nick is a huge part of the mob. He started it off with Pierce at Hydra, but both of them grew too big. Then Pierce showed his true colours. So now he was playing on both sides. And nobody could stop him. A lot tried. But no one succeeded. Nick Fury was too dangerous of a man.

It wasn't a formal meeting. It was just a gathering. It wasn't planned. Nick showed up at Bucky's house. They talked about work for a bit, but the conversation drifted with time. With Steve's girl falling asleep in his lap, they found themselves talking about parenthood. How family and their line of work don't usually go together. However, those who did have families always managed to be the best. However, nothing could have prepared Bucky for the turn the conversation was about to take.

"Not all of them turn out to be good. You've got Pierce, for example. I have never seen a worse father in my life." The mention of the man's name caught Bucky's attention. Pierce definitely didn't win the Father of the Year award, but what does it mean?

"What do you mean?" It seemed Steve was thinking the same way as Bucky.

"That man married off his daughter to a beast and watched as he ate her off." The statement didn't sit well with Bucky.

"What are you talking about?" Bucky couldn't help, but he asked, wanting to know more.

"Alexander knows exactly what Rumlow does to his girl." Nick's answer wasn't enough for Bucky.

"What does he do?" He didn't care how desperate he looked or sounded. He needed to know everything.

"I think the scars on her body speak for themselves." It was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on him. His blood ran cold. His lungs almost stopped working.

"Rumlow hurts his wife?" Sam was one to speak, knowing his best friend wasn't in the right state anymore.

"Hurt doesn't even begin to describe it. Poor girl has been hospitalised ten times in the last two years." His tight grip on the glass almost made it shatter in his hand. They have been doing this to his girl.

"How do you know this?" Steve couldn't help his curiosity.

"I know everything. And Pierce doesn't put much effort into hiding it from those close to him."

"How come nobody else knows?"

"I said only those close to him."

"But they look so happy. He seems to love her."

"Of course they do. Rumlow wants to be seen as a good family man. The perfect husband So they need to be a picture-perfect couple. Not a single flaw. It's easy to paint when you beat somebody that much."

"Why didn't she try to leave?"

"And go where? Her father has no problem with it. I heard that Rumlow slapped her in front of him. And Pierce did nothing."

Bucky was grateful for his bestfriends who kept the questions going because he needed to know everything. But he couldn't speak. Nick seemed to be talking about some stranger he barely knew. And it was true. But not to Bucky. That was you. His whole entire world. And someone was hurting you. And you couldn't do anything. You were helpless. He should have trusted his instincts.

"How bad does it get?" He mastered the neutral tone, so not even Nick would know the fire burning through him.

"I don't know. All I know is if that was my daughter, Rumlow would be dead a long time ago." Instinctively, Steve pulled his daughter closer to him and laid a soft kiss on her head. How can any father not protect his daughter with his life? Steve would never know.

"But the girl is tough. Despite it all, she is still nice and caring to everybody." Nick added. And it somehow hurt Bucky more. For godsake. You even tried to be friendly with him. He, who left you, was a deer in a wolf's den.

"Have you ever met her?" Nick asked, looking at Bucky.

"Only on parties and occasions." He could never tell Nick that you were the love of his life.

Nick stayed for a little longer before he left. And Bucky couldn't recall a single thing after Nick told them the truth. Steve and Sam wanted to stay with their friends, but they knew better. He wanted to be alone right now. And he did. He went upstairs to the master bedroom. He opened a drawer in the side table and looked at a small album he kept hidden from the world. He tried to get rid of it but never had enough courage. It had all your pictures together. This album meant more to him than all of his good fortune.

Looking at the pictures, he felt like he was drowning. They took you away from him, only to hurt you. Bucky didn't know what to do. He must think straight, because if he didn't, he would go over and kill them all right now. It would be a bloodbath. But you were worth it. so worth it.

Before he could make any wise decision, he reached for his phone, dialling the number of the person who would help him.

"Bruce, I need a favour."

Bucky was standing by the bar, watching people talk and laugh in their very expensive attire. It was all so fake that he wanted to throw up. But maybe the act wasn't the only thing bothering him.

Bruce was able to do him the favour he asked for. And he gave it to him today. Your medical reports. All of them.

Bucky was stunned, to say the least. He regretted asking, but he had to know. How could anyone do this to you?

Broken bones. Internal bleeding. Deep Cuts. Concussions. Vaginal bleeding. Three miscarriages.

Bucky couldn't help the tear that fell on his face as he read the last report. It was two months ago. Two weeks before he met you again. A week before the anniversary party. You were recovering from another miscarriage and a broken elbow. Yet nobody could tell. You put on the act to perfection that even Bucky believed. You managed to trick Bucky, who claimed to have known you best. His heart ached to see how much Brock had to beat and break you to fool everybody that you are so happy. Bucky was a strong man who everybody feared, but he had to read how a nobody hurt his girl. Yes, you were his girl. You were always going to be his girl. He needed to figure out a way to get you out of there.

Which is why his eyes never left you since you walked in. It took all his willpower to not go and beat the hell out of Rumlow. But he knew better. All he could was wait and think. He watched your moves and your voice. You were such a good actress. With all you went through, you acted the happiness so well. He wondered how you were really behind closed doors.

He didn't plan to do anything tonight, but the moment offered itself when you walked to the garden alone. He followed you out instantly. Not knowing what to do. But he had to do something.

You were breathing the fresh breeze ear. You needed to a moment of peace, or you would have lost your mind. This morning, Brock lost his temper, and your body was still aching. It wasn't something you hadn't seen before. You mastered the ability to look and act fine by now. You just needed a moment away. You were glad there was a garden so you could enjoy the view of the stars

The familiar voice calling your name made you stop in your place.

"Mr. Barnes." You turned to him with a smile on your face. Even if you were alone, you weren't dropping the formality. Also, it looked like he never wanted you to

"I want to talk to you." He didn't know how he was going to approach the topic, but he had to do something. Say something, at least.

You gave him your full attention. What do both of you have to talk about? And after all these years. You weren't sure if you could even hold a conversation with him.

"Are you okay?" The question caught you off guard. It was a strange question to ask.

"I'm fine, thank you." You tried to keep a smile on your face. You haven't talked in years, and that is what he wanted to say?

"How are you and Brock?" Bucky was a feared mob boss, yet he couldn't get a word out that made sense.

"We are great." You couldn't hide your surprise. The last thing you expected was for you to talk about your relationship. Let alone with Bucky, from all the people in the world.

"Are you sure?" He should have thought about what to say first before he followed you.

"Yes, pretty sure." You weren't really seeing where this conversation was going.

"No, it's not great." Way to go, Bucky. He thought.

"I beg your pardon." Yes, of course, your relationship wasn't great, but that wasn't for Bucky to know.

"I know your relationship isn't that great." Bucky was hoping to get any reaction from you other than your pretty smile.

"I don't think that's for you to judge." You were taken back by his statement. So you went in defence mood.

"No, it's. It's when you aren't safe." You tried not to let your emotions take over your face. He didn't mean it this way, did he?

"I think I would be perfectly safe with my husband." You prayed he didn't catch your lie. You were a good liar by now.

"Does he make you memorise this?" Bucky was frustrated. Not with you. But with your situation.

"Does he tell you to always pretend you are happy?" Bucky was done with your act.

"Mr. Barnes, I don't think we should be talking about my marriage. And you can't talk about my husband like this." You knew you had to be direct and forward. Even if nobody was around, this wasn't a chance you were going to take.

"Do you have anything else you want to talk about?" You received silence, but you could tell he had a lot to say.

You turned to leave because you couldn't stay and have this conversation. Even if you wanted so desperately to stay in Bucky's company.

"How many more hospitalisations will it take for you to admit the truth? How many more babies do you have to lose before you leave?"

You froze in your place. It was like time had stopped. You were trying to process what Bucky just said. Every cell in your body was working overtime to keep you from shutting down. You turned again to look at him with your pale face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like this." Bucky felt guilty for throwing it like this in your face. But he saw you leave, and he had to stop you.

"How do you know?" The question may be irrelevant, but for you, it was important.

"It doesn't matter." Bucky tested the water by taking small, little steps towards you. You didn't move.

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that I know." He was itching to hold you. Wrap you in his arms and protect you from the world.

"I'm okay, Bucky." It had been so long since you said his name, but it still felt the same. And you were back on track with your act quicker than you thought.

"No, you aren't. Nobody should ever go through this." He came to a stop in front of you. You saw empathy in his eyes you hadn't seen in a long while.

"Let me help, please." Bucky had no problem getting on his knees and beseeching you to allow him to step in.

"You can't help me." Your voice was tiny. You felt exposed. That part of your life wasn't to be known.

"No, I can. I have to try." Bucky wanted to help you, not just for your sake but for his too.

"No. It's my life now. I'm okay." You knew Brock wasn't going to get a trophy for being the best husband when you married him. However, it got so much worse than you thought.

"Stop saying that. You aren't." Bucky hated the surrender in your eye. The shakiness of your voice. He hated how you were choosing to accept this life when you deserved nothing but the best.

"There is nothing me or anybody could do." You made your peace with this fact long ago. Since Brock first hit you and nobody moved.

"I can. I should have never let you marry him in the first place." He moved even closer to you.

"Then it would have been the both of us, now. Either dead or suffering. I'm okay with it being me." You were. Maybe that is the reason you managed to survive up to now. That Bucky was okay

"You think I'm not suffering this way?" He followed his instincts and placed his flesh hand on your cheeks.

He prepared himself for you to flinch or move away quickly. But you didn't. On the contrary, your face softened. You were craving Bucky's gentle touch. You missed him so much. Bucky took this a sign and let the next words fall from his tongue.

"I still love..."

"Please, don't.

You stopped him right away. Did you still love Bucky? With all your heart and even more. But it was way more complicated than this.

"There nothing you could have done or can do to change it. It's my life, and I can't escape it." He should move on. He shouldn't even be standing with you here.

"I was doomed from the beginning. I'm so sorry I dragged you with me."

You shouldn't have let him love you. You should have heard his name and went the other way. You should have spread him all this pain and mess. If you failed to do it, then you would now. You moved away from, already missing his touch.

"Thank you, Mr Barnes. But I can never leave." You put on the act again, keeping your tears inside. You wished you weren't that helpless or broken, but you were. You were surrounded by monsters that can never let you break away.

You gave Bucky one last smile before you turned to get back inside. You didn't want to anger Brock more. And you didn't want to drag Bucky deeper. Even if your heart longed for him dearly. It wasn't right. You were a tragedy from the start.

[letshavedeernnertogether]

We'll meet again

the plot is: (Y/n) made a pact with Alastor, so now she will be protected from any men. (Y/n) got into trouble and everybody will see her new power. Alastor feels like he want to protect (Y/n).

tw: blood, murder and all like this

english is not my mother-tounge, so I'm very-very sorry about the mistakes I must have made :'<

also, sorry for a stupid plot (the wedding is just awful)

Part two, the power

(Y/n) came back home. In the hall her mother stopped her, "What has happened to you?!"

She guessed how awful she looked: dirty dress and shoes, messy hair, pale face. She still had trails of tears after goodbying with the demon, but a wild smile stretched on her face, because she was happy to had his protection. She felt herself more confident. She almost looked down on others.

But her mother didn't notice her strange expression, she only saw her shabby appearance.

"Nothing," (Y/n) replied, "I was just walking in the forest. You know, I like it."

Her mother looked at her like at an alien.

"You're better go upstairs and to wash yourself!"

"Sure."

(Y/n) noticed her father. He was sitting in an armchair, reading local newspaper. Well, it wasn't actually local, but it was about the nearest inhabited location.

He stared at something under her feet. It was her shadow. He definitely noticed it was darker that other shadows in the room. But he didn't say anything. It was too strange to be talked about.

When (Y/n) came to the stairs, her mother said, "You know, you won't do your forest strolls when you get married."

(Y/n) stopped.

"When I what?" she thought and turned to her mother, "Why do you think I will ever be married?"

"Your hand was asked," She answered.

"Who could be so nut?" (Y/n) smirked, hiding her fear behind sarcasm.

Her mother said the name. The name of the man, she ran away from a few hours ago.

Everything around (Y/n) began to whirl. It felt like a nightmare, very similar to reality but still very different. When you know that something is wrong but can't change anything. Like a parallel universe, what you know you don't belong, but don't know the way back home.

(Y/n) grasped the handrail to not to fall.

"Your father and I think you're very lucky to have someone like him," Her mother said, "you should not say " No."

(Y/n) was thinking. She knew why her parents thought so. (Y/n) was from an old family, just like that man. It was a good match. But (Y/n) never wanted to be married. She read about love, and sometimes she wished she had it. But her will for freedom was stronger. Moreover, she felt that no men in the world deserved her.

She stood her back to parents, and they couldn't see the change of her expression. Fear changed into despair, despair into anger, anger into sadness and after all she smiled. It was the biggest smile of her in a long time. We have such a smile in foretaste of revenge. When we feel their suffering and despair, that fill us with almost voluptuously pleasure.

She smiled widely. She could take a revenge on him. A revenge on every man. She didn't feel afraid anymore. She looked at her dark shadow and smiled more.

"I feel like something strange may happen..." She said in a low voice.

"What do you mean, (Y/n)?"

She turned to her mother, shaking her head and said, "Nothing! Nothing, Mother. Let's make it as fast as we can."

(Y/n) sat before her dressing table, putting on face powder. She liked to make her skin pale. It looked very gorgeous with the colour of her hair. She put on her dark red lipstick. Now Carmilla looked at her from the mirror and smiled with her white teeth.

"Young mistress," A maid said, "you look very beautiful."

"Thank you, Pulchra," Replied (Y/n).

"May I say something, mistress?" Pulchra asked after a while, when (Y/n) was brushing her hair.

"Sure."

"I thought you will never get married."

(Y/n) smiled.

"Not because you're bad, no!" Pulchra hastened to add, "I just thought that you're not interested in it. In love, I mean. Of course, it's also a very profitable marriage, but cupidity is even more out of your character. I just don't understand..."

(Y/n) looked at her thought the reflection in the mirror. (Y/n) noticed that since the day she made the deal, the maid turned out to be more careful in communication with her mistress. She could say that everybody in the house avoided meeting her. If she ran into someone of the servant in the corridor, they hurried to hide in the nearest room or just stopped at the wall, waiting her to pass by. (Y/n) didn't know, if it was because of her new shadow. She felt more confident, she felt the power inside of her; it was all reflected on her face and in her gait. In actual fact, none of the servants knew the reason of their dread of the one who was kind to them once. She was always kind and she respected everyone from a gardener and a maid to a butler. But now something about her frightened them. It was not a customary to talk about these reasons. If somebody dared to talk about the change in their mistress, they could feel that somebody was watching them. Chill ran down their spines, and some even told that they heard a characteristic ckracle of a radio, witch, they were sure, was not in the room.

Only her father and Pulchra knew the reason, yet never spoke about it to anyone.

They were afraid.

They didn't understand.

They didn't understand how it was possible to have a darker shadow then others. It was just abnormal. And they also were scared of her smile, that played on her thin lips, every time she noticed them scrutinizing her shadow.

(Y/n) used to take Pulchra as an elder sister, and she felt a bit sorry to cause such a fear in her. But she wasn't sure, that Pulchra wasn't participating in her marriage, because she was that maid who entered the room in the moment of harassment.

Her face didn't express any worry that moment; Pulchra seemed to be ready to close the door, if only (Y/n) hadn't cried her name. Then the door was opened wider, shining a light down on (Y/n).

"What do they all want from me?" thought (Y/n). "And would she really close that door? Maybe she thought that that man was my lover? But didn't she just say, that I wasn't interested in love?"

(Y/n) wasn't sure she'd like to know all the truth. It was typical of her not to think too much, about what was on others minds. She just returned them, what she thought they deserved.

"Don't worry, Pulchra, I know what I do," (Y/n) said with a small smile, holding a comb to the maid. "Don't think, I betray myself doing this."

The maid secured her hair at the back of her head with several pins and secured the point de venise veil.

(Y/n) stood opposite her groom. She hated him. He couldn't see her sizzling eye of Medusa behind the veil. Her dress was decorated with pearls, diamonds and a rich embroidery. The collar was high, almost touching her ears, in which small pearls shone. Milky white fabric covered all her body, only her hands were naked. All her appearance radiated grace and power.

The light in the church was dim. It was a very foggy day, and the church was barely lighted by the candles.

Her groom couldn't help but be nervous. He was swearing during all the ceremony. He couldn't understand why a woman scared him so much. Just a bride, wasn't she? Maybe it was because she didn't hold out her hands him? Or is it because of this strange expression under the veil? He couldn't see it, but he felt it. And there was also something strange under her feet. The man blamed the weak light for the too dark shadow of his bride.

His smile was strained as the priest read out well-known words. And then the priest asked the questions.

"Yes," Said the groom.

Everybody turned to (Y/n).

But she kept silent.

Everybody was waiting. Did this girl want to attract attention? It wasn't in her style. And why had the veil not yet been removed from her face? The groom tried to reach her hands but couldn't somehow.

Atmosphere had changed. Everything became darker.

"I told you, something strange might happen," (Y/n) murmured that nobody could hear her.

And then something actually happened.

The light in the church fell in such a way, that only the priest could see the (Y/n)'s and the groom's shadows. And he saw how a grimace appeared in the bride's shadow. It slowly creeped to the groom's one and grasped it. The priest could perfectly see it, because her shadow had a deeper shade of black then others ones.

When the female dark figure grasped the male shadow, the groom changed his expression. There was a pain in his face. And he was still staring at his bride.

The priest saw how her shadow began to tear the groom's shadow apart, and he saw, the groom started to bleed. In the place where her shadow touched his shadow, wounds appeared on the groom's body.

Everybody could only see the man getting red, while the priest could see a fight between shadows.

The bride stood still. She glanced from under her veil at the man's suffering and enjoied it. She loved hearing everybody's gasps of shock.

Suddenly the groom fell dead, when all of his face was red and the suit soaked with blood. A pool of blood became bigger under him and reached (Y/n). She didn't step away, letting her dress soak up the blood.

She saw how the priest was shaking.

And suddenly her shadow grew bigger, it stretched up to the ceiling, causing everyone's scream. It smiled wild, eyes burned, hands stretched aside as it wanted to embrace everyone.

"I'd like to warn you that this shadow has quite a cruel character!" She remembered.

Could it kill everyone in the church? Well, only if she let it. But this shadow liked to frighten people out of existence.

A chaos filled the church. Everybody screamed, some women cried; most people ran to the exit; some people fell and others tried to help them get up, but they also fell, knocked down by crowd mad with fear.

(Y/n) was infected with their fear, although she knew she had nothing to be afraid of.

The priest ran by the dead body and turned to (Y/n).

"You-" He pointes a shaking finger at her.

"Who?"

He couldn't see her face, but he heard her smile.

He ran out of the church.

(Y/n) raised her head. She picked up the hem of her dress, that soaked with blood, and quickly ran out though the backdoor.

She was running through the forest again, embraced with the fog that was much stronger than last time. The wind lifted her veil and threw it back as it was her actual groom.

This time (Y/n) didn't feel despair or fear. She felt free. Last time she rushed, always stumbling over the roots; the Nature was her refuge and It aggressively pulled her in Its arms. But now It was gentler. The wind softly played with her hair, the fog hugged her, bare branches whispered the congratulations to her.

(Y/n) felt like she found herself, like she found home finally.

She slowed down and went onto a path. She lowered the hem and looked around.

She was waiting for him.

She knew he would appear.

Just a thought of meeting him soon made her face blushed.

She walked farther when she heard a rustle on the left.

She turned her head to the source of the noise and saw a familiar red figure in the woods.

(Y/n) gasped and left the path. Heels of her white shoes drowned in the soft ground covered with yellow and brown leaves. She didn't take eyes of Alastor even for a moment. He disappeared and then appeared again between the tall trees, yet he stood still.

When she came closer, he showed his teeth in a smile and didn't disappear again.

"I'm ever so glad to see you again, my dear," Alastor said.

"Me too," Said (Y/n) with a big soft smile, "Thank you!"

Alator raised his eyebrows, "For what, my dear?"

"You've released me."

He chuckled, "Usually, they tell me opposite, dear hahaha" He glanced at her with a mysterious gaze, "They tell me I captivated them."

"That too," She thought.

Incredible how bad she wanted to meet him again, but now she was just speechless. She was sure, she wanted to tell him something, but all the subjects for conversation seemed stupid. She looked at him, waiting until the right words would come to her mouth.

"What are you going to do now, my dear?" Alastor asked.

She blinked.

"Um, I think there is no place for me here now haha" She stroke her hair. "The priest, I believe, takes me as a witch now, what I find quite flattering."

The demon smiled softly at her.

"I think, I'm going to move. New Orleans maybe..."

He looked at her with a surprise.

"Why is it, dear?"

"Well, it's far away from this place and I also heard it's kinda a black magic city, isn't?"

"Why, yes, dear, it is! I think my hometown suits you very well," He said.

"Your hometown?"

"Not all demons come from the hell, darling," He chuckled, "I was a human once and lived in New Orleans."

She asked several questions about his human life. Alastor's face shone with happiness when he reminded his human life. He told her, that he was a radio host (so that was why his voice was static like) and also a serial killer.

(Y/n) enjoyed listening him when he told her about his mother, job and favorite local dishes. She loved seeing happiness in his face.

"I'm definitely going to New Orleans," She thought.

Suddenly she understood something strange.

"By the way, Alastor," She drew his attention. His name tasted very special on her tongue. "Well, I somehow knew, you would appear, but still... How have you appeared here without my summoning?"

He leaned over her, "Oh, my dear, don't stuff your pretty head with such tricklish questions. That's my business to care, not yours."

"Alright, whatever you say."

He saw that he wasn't satisfied with this answer.

"Well, my dear, it's just seems that a demon, who made a pact with a human, should be with them from time to time." His smile turned out to be strained, "A little bit annoying, but what can I do."

She felt depressed that he didn't want to be here. (Y/n) didn't thought it was because of her (she respected herself too much, and thought everybody did so.) She thought he didn't enjoy to much of being here, on earth, because he had a lot of things to do. How much business could a devil have? Well, it wasn't the question she wanted to ask him. (Y/n) had another one.

"Um, Alastor," His name still felt forbidden to be said aloud, "when shall we meet again? And how? And where..?"

He touched his chin with his index finger in reflection. He was thinking.

"My dear," He said finally, "I think you need to decide it."

"I don't wanna be a burden for you-"

"My dear!" Alastor interrupted her, "You're not! Anyone but you! No no no, dearest!" He looked at her slightly covered his eyelids. "I find it very entertaining to help you with your desire."

It didn't sound like a compliment. It looked more like a hunter boasted of his hard but succeeded hunting; like he was describing his hunt for a game like a very dangerous, yet pleasant entertainment. But (Y/n) decided to take it as a compliment. It was easier that way.

She lowered her gaze, softly smiling. Did he really never thought about her as a burden? Well, she said about the burden, trying to be polite and to endear him. But she was already dear to him.

"I just wanted to say, that I'm always glad to see you, really, but I don't want to bother you..." She thought she sounded stupid, but she wanted to be frank with him, "So, I believe we can meet anytime you wish."

He looked at her with astonishment. Did she say a demon's line? It was a demon's work to fulfil a human's wish. And only like that. No human could fulfil a demon's desires. And if she was just polite, then why did she decide to be so towards him and not towards other people? She hated people so much. They only brought her pain. They betrayed her. Could he be different from them? Could he be kind to her?

"Well, my dear, you do surprise me!" Alastor said with a chuckle, "but how about this? I will be by you anytime you wish the most. Not just need me, you have my shadow for this, but when you want me to be by you."

She looked at him with her eyes wide opened.

"Then, I wish you now."

He slowly tipped his head, looking at her.

(Y/n) didn't realize when she came closer to him. She looked at her feet. She touched his fingers gently and he took her by the hand. His palm was much bigger than hers, and she felt herself very small by his side.

"My little human girl doesn't want to say goodbye?" He asked her; his voice became lower and she perfectly heard a soft radio crackle.

"She doesn't," (Y/n) said, still lowering her head.

He softly made her look up at him, taking her by her chin. Her eyes were wet. What beautiful eyes! Alastor could see branches reflected in them. Birds were flying in the sky, and her eyes were the sky. This young woman actually longed for his presence. She trusted him. What a lost girl. She really felt herself more comfortable with him, The Radio Demon, than with people.

Alastor felt aching in his chest. He hated everyone who hurt her. He wanted to take revenge even more than she did, because for the sake of others we're ready to do more than for ourselves.

He needed to protect her.

He softly ran his finger over her cheek, and she clung to his palm as a cat. She closed her eyes.

It was just a twinkling.

(Y/n) opened her eyes and moved away.

Her face was severe again.

"Goodbye, Alastor." She said in a low voice.

"We'll meet again, my dear."

"I know."

A minute ago (Y/n) was alone in the woods again.

guys, i'm very very sorry it took so long, I had a very busy week at university fakultet of philology feels like hell sometimes _(:< 」∠)_

Thank you so much for reading my works, for liking them, reposting!! it means a lot to me, to know that somebody likes what i do <3

stay tuned, the third part will be soon if my instructor in lexicology won't kill me with his new tasks in german

[idontplaytrack]

Masterlist🔖

Updated master post is pinned! 📌

Index: 🤍-sfw • ❤️‍🔥-nsfw

Brooklyn Nine-Nine🚓

Rosa Diaz

“you’re a softie.” 🤍

“bye, softie jr.” 🤍

Tough 🤍

Hermosa 🤍

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit🤝

Olivia Benson

Bad Rep 🤍

Mama Bear 🤍

First 🤍

Sick 🤍

Mean Girls(2024)💄

Janis ‘Imi’ike

Closet ❤️‍🔥

all the things that could go wrong 🤍 *

good problem to have❤️‍🔥*

I Want Coffee ❤️‍🔥

‘…a lot of things happen in parked cars.’ ❤️‍🔥

Jersey 48 🤍

You & I 🤍

Jealousy, jealousy ❤️‍🔥

Watch Me❤️‍🔥

Animal ❤️‍🔥

Like A Koala 🤍

Pick Up The Phone 🤍

Back to Red ❤️‍🔥

Answer Me ❤️‍🔥

Heaven Lost An Angel ❤️‍🔥

Honeymoon ❤️‍🔥

"God, you're crazy." ❤️‍🔥

Sundress ❤️‍🔥

Band-aids, candy or me 🤍

Flaws 🤍

I'd Rather Be Me(and be with you) 🤍

Distress 🤍

Stronger 🤍

Goodby to Spring 🤍

Heels and shove 🤍

Revenge...party? 🤍

Talk Too Much ❤️‍🔥

Needy, Greedy, New York City ❤️‍🔥

Talk Is Cheap ❤️‍🔥

Your Favourite ❤️‍🔥

Twin Stranger 🤍

The Power(2023)⚡️

Jos Cleary-Lopez

Kissin’ U ❤️‍🔥

Flipping the bird 🤍

Sweet Revenge 🤍

Stress Eating ❤️‍🔥

Soaked ❤️‍🔥

Bruises 🤍

My Biggest Mistake 🤍

Hands Off ❤️‍🔥

Darby and the Dead(2022)🔌

Capri Donahue

Never Lost 🤍*

Listen ❤️‍🔥*

Backfired ❤️‍🔥

"Flowers? What for? 🤍

You Don’t Know Me 🤍

Snowed In? Step Up 🤍

Seeing Double ❤️‍🔥

Coming Home 🤍

Anything and everything 🤍

Crush(2022)🎨

AJ Campos

Safe & sound 🤍

‘Not even in your top 5’ 🤍

Her Work of Art ❤️‍🔥

Wait For You 🤍

Watch You Sleep ❤️‍🔥

Redeeming Win 🤍

My Girl ❤️‍🔥

Slow Hands ❤️‍🔥

Say You Won’t Let Go 🤍

I'll Take Care Of You 🤍

Midsummer Night 🤍

The Practice 🤍

Not A Word 🤍

Wrapped Around Your Fingers ❤️‍🔥

Play ❤️‍🔥

My Love, Mi Amor ❤️‍🔥

Charming 🤍

Into the future 🤍

The Good Girl ❤️‍🔥 [WIP]

Modern Family🖼️

Haley Dunphy

Stress Reliever ❤️‍🔥

Rise🎭

Lilette Suarez

Soulmate 🤍

Since We’re Alone 🤍

All Together Now🎙️

Amber Appleton

An Angel 🤍

Lost Cause 🤍

Birthday Morning 🤍

Delight ❤️‍🔥

Sing Me To Sleep 🤍

K.C. Undercover🔎

K.C. Cooper

Family Is Forever? 🤍

Bottle You Up 🤍

MY CHARMED ONE - CAPRI DONAHUE x FEM! READER MULTI-PART MASTERLIST

shenanigans- mean girls social media + texts fic

part 1: happy birthday

part 2: all this on a random friday?

part 3: you need some sleep

part 4: someone check on damian

part 5: go get laid then tell me

part 6: rules are rules lmao

part 7: meet my new bff

part 8: on main???!

part 9: one last date

part 10: my precious angel

part 10: alt ending

[chickenstrangers]

2023 gifs in review tag game

tagged by @khaotunq (here!) to post my favorite/most popular gifs throughout the year. thank you!!🩵🩵🩵

I only started making gifs partway through this year, so there was a big learning curve and i still think i'm pretty newbie but it has been a lot of fun and it's nice looking back on how much i think i've improved, though i have so much left to learn next year

i am going to ramble too much because this is my post, fair warning, forgive my self indulgence

april

this was the very beginning, back in the photopea days before i tried photoshop (i am still quite fond of photopea, 1. because it is free and 2, for stills i think it's just as good as photoshop, but i could never figure out how to make gifs look good with its dithering system. i have seen some remarkable gifmakers using photopea tho so that's a my limited skill problem, and i'm glad i used it to dip my toes into the process!)

i only posted 1 set for abaab this month which looks not good but is still a very fun scene, but this was not actually the first thing i made (see below).

may

most popular: msp finale, tinn knowing all the words to gun's song <3

favorite: moonlight chicken, my first ever gifset and the reason i got into gifmaking because i wanted to capture the way moonlight chicken visually returned to locations and shots to underline its theme of loneliness being replaced by community, which is the mlc repetitions series

june

most popular & favorite: kiss me again (2018) and the lovely way june say's goodby to his friends (i learned how to add text to gifs for this one, and not only that but timed text! i thought it would get like 5 notes. it's very messy and doesn't look great, but i'm proud that i learned something with it, and i think its very funny and that's all that matters to me)

july

it's photoshop time now!! photoshop beloved you make such beautiful gifs and also you are So Slow and my computer cannot handle you.

most popular: only friends original trailer set

favorite: jimwen looking at each other set (the start of my most belovedest of series, the followup to the first ever meta i wrote)

august

most popular: part 1 of the can't i look at you edits, cool tones edition

favorite: part 2 of the can't i look at you edits, warm toned edition (i love them both but this has two of my all time favorite wen faces)

hey its my profile picture and also i find it very funny that the Os line up with his eyes, and the second gif i love how impossibly happy they look

september

my busiest month in terms of gifs, in large part due to only friends

most popular: topmew and fire

favorite: alanwen poetry edit i spent soooo long learning keyframes for the heartbeat effect and then the ghosting effect was a happy accident thank you person in the background walking past at the right moment

(i also love my charn laws of attraction set because he was a surprise favorite character this year, i loved collecting the quotes for how he speaks of himself)

october

most popular: only friends sandray finale parallel set (it is. very very close to 1k which is. so many).

favorite: he's coming to me edit because it was so fun to make for @dudeyuri

november

most popular: not me sean and black getting along super duper well!

favorite: moonlight chicken haunted house edit, accompanying this meta/creative writing thing. i loved choosing liminal feeling shots for it and i liked how the simple typography turned out

december

most popular: a little jim and wen set i am very fond of

favorite: the moonlight chicken new years set i posted today. i love this little chicken diner

hey look i managed to mention moonlight chicken almost every month (i swear, i watched so many favorite shows this year but i loved making mlc gifs so much)

and that's that! thanks for reading if anyone read til the end.

no pressure tags for some amazingly talented creators who have made some of my favorite sets this year (if you feel like talking about some of your highlights, whether monthly or not, because you all make so much incredible work and i'd love to hear about it) : @hoppipolla @sollucets @icouldhyperfixatehim @celestial-sapphicss @chinzhilla @krystaljungs @moonkhao and anyone who wants to, consider yourself tagged <3

[strikehawkatyourservice]

*THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS ABOUT "HER LAST BOW"* IF YOU DIDN'T REACH THIS CHAPTER. PLEASE YO SHOULD NOT SEE THIS!!!!

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I'm glad they spend a hole chapter just to explain what does Nanami do and for what purpose. I really like her and feel this was needed.

BUT C'MON I'M TOO SENTIMENTAL AND EASY TO CRY!!!!

Between the possible futures she sees. Almost everyone dies or end in a really bad state.

I cried when the only survivor was Wanshi of Strike Hawk!

I cried when Murray remember what Vera said to him when she sacrifice herself to protect him.

I cried because of Liv dying by the frame Empyrea.

And when I thought something good will happen then BAM! Nanami sacrifice herself to save everyone.

HOW IM NOT SUPPOSED TO CRY WHEN SHE SAYS GOODBY AND ASK TO NOT BE FORGOTTEN?!

[leah-lover]

Meeting again. Alexia x reader part 3.

Reader is confronted by her friends.

Saying that tension was in the air would be an understatement. After the hellos, hugs and kisses the whole team went back to the changing room and took Leila with them. So there I was standing in front of Alexia, mapi, ingrid, parti, claudia, and aitana.

The silence was loud and their glares were unforgiving. All i thought to myself was that i didn't belong in barca anymore, i was cursing myself for ever choosing to leave city before Ingrid said “ We cant talk about this here how about we go to a restaurant and have a proper conversation.”

The rest of the girls seemed to agree with her, then Parti jumped and said “ okay then we will meet at our usual spot in about an hour, you still remembered no ?” she asked me with a sarcastic tone.

Confused, I only nodded and waited for them to all get inside before I breathed again. This encounter was harsh but I had a feeling it wasnt gonna get any easier.

After an hour I found myself at a table in my favorite restaurant with feelings I buried three years ago. All the anger, shame, and sadness came back with it. I waited a little before they all came together except alexia who was running late.

“ So how do you want to start this? Maybe with an apology for what you have done.” started Patri as soon as she sat down, which earned her a jab from Claudia who told her to be nicer.

“ i don't know what had gotten into you these past three years Patri but i don't this i have anything to apologies about.'' I replied with a defensive tone.

“ yes you do carino. You let us, no goodby no nothing we had to learn the news from instagram like everybody but we are not everybody we are your family and we felt hurt. Plus you didn't talk to us for 3 years. You denied every try at contacting you. You abandoned us you……” said mapi softly so as to not sound angry because she wasn't. They all went angry; they were just hurt.

“ Look, we don't have to do this. I came here to do my job and play good fucking football. I did this for my career not to rip my insides out again.'' I replied, trying to hold back my tears.

“ Darling, we are not trying to hurt you, we are trying to understand you. We are just curious why our best friend left us. ” explained ingrid with a concerned look on her face.

“ there is nothing to understand that your bestfriend is dead. She died three years ago. I have been a walking corpse since I left. I don't feel anything i am numb to everything.'' I managed to get out before a few tears left my eyes.

I then got up and went out. I was overwhelmed and all the feeling came back rushing. Which led me to hyperventilate. Suddenly I felt a hand on my back.

“ I am sorry about our reaction. We didn't know this would happen. We acted out of love for you. We missed you. We just are so very sorry just come back inside.” said aitana before pulling me into a hug.

I then started crying, all the tears i have been holding back decided to go out all at once.

“ i love her tan, i still do, i abandoned her, i gave up on her i didn't fight for her.'' I said while crying into tana’s shoulder.

“ I know darling, I know. She loves you too. She has been suffering without you we all have. Now just come back inside please.” she added running her hand through my back.

“ i dont think it's a good idea, I just want to go home now.” I said after we separated.

“ okay. Call me when you are ready to talk, okay.” she added before going back in.

When I got home Leila was already there. So as soon as I saw her on the couch I went straight to her and laid on her chest.

“ How did it go?” she said, running her hand through my hair.

“ fucking horrible.” I answered.

“ Do you want some ice cream?” she asked. “ I will get you some ice cream.” she answered herself after looking at me.

When Leila was gone the doorbell rang so i went to answer it.

And there she was in front of me, beautiful as ever. “ I know you want space but we need to talk.” she said and I ushered her in.

“ I miss you and I want you back.” she started after sitting on the couch. “ I know I was shitty to you, you didn't deserve what I put you through. I changed carino. You motivate me to get my priorities straight. You are my number 1 priority. You matter more than football more than le and more than life itself. Please give me a chance again. Please mi amor.”

Her words left me speechless. I was too tired to start over. I just want to be comforted and loved.

[yahuanbk]

Soo... I finally have time to go a bit in depth into why I love Cassette Beasts after finishing it.

Honestly It was such a blast. I don't remember what I said in my last post and Tumblr doesn't want to collaborate to help me find it so I may repeat some points.

The music is awesome. The art is super charming. The battle system is really developed but not too complex. The mosnters are really creative. And the characters are great too. I didn't know what to expect about the story and while it isn't revolutionary, it's got a few twists and susprises that I really liked.

Honestly, it's a great game for a good price and it really shines thanks to all the effort and love put into it. If you are on the fence, give it a chance.

I'm going to get into end-game stuff so spoilers bellow.

I really loved the story. It was simple but it never felt too boring. Going from place to place, doing quests, exploring and finding new mosnters... It really felt like playing a pokemon game for the first time when you were 10 and everything was new.

Also, finding and helping your partners. Building a relationship and learning about them... Honastly, I didn't dislike anyone and it was really sad saying goodby at the end.

An the bosses. The Archangels are really something. They are so not from here with their 3D models and other representations, they really seem like cosmic horror for the characters. And at the end, when you learn what they are and fuse all together to kinda become one and fight Aleph... Really cool.

I don't remember who said in my other post that you could permafreeze some monsters but thank you for the tip. I tried it and it was really funny. I also tried to turn some monsters to glass and use wind to destroy them. though now that I say it out loud it sound a bit cruel. But, that you can even do this to begin with really shows how great and connected the interactions between elements can be.

My favorite cassette beasts are Lobstacle (love saing its name outloud), Apocrowlypse, Glaistain, Aeroboros and Auriclaw (love its gimmick).

Also, I think that I already talked about the music but honestly, its amazing. When you are fighting and you fuse and the lyrics kick in, wonderful. And the regular battle theme is also great. And the battle against the Archangels. And---

The only thing bad thing I can think of right now is that I still haven't found a bootleg on my own. But still have to do part of the post-game so I guess it's just a matter of time.

Yeah, I may have tried to write this too many times and ended up just rambling... and distracted... But really this is such a great game. One of the best monster tamer out there.

[transhawks]

I thought you once said that you wanna know about Japanese MHA fandom meta discussion, so sorry for bad English beforehand. Regarding latest chapter, among some talk about Toga/Ochako fight and Hawks' battered stubborness condition, some portion of MHA japan fans talked about Pixie Bob and Tiger called each other by their real name instead of hero name. Those discussions (in twitter) pointed out that moment as emphasis of Ryuko and Yawara deep bond and portray how desperate and cornered they are in their situation. The "real name" talk also being pointed out more in Japanese MHA fandom, like when Jeanist called Edgeshot real name before he became Kacchan's heart. Maybe because Japan culture and perhaps Asian too is more reserved from using name instead of title (like to big bro, senior, fellow coworker, etc) than Western, so for us that moment is a big deal especially when it was used by adult heroes. This is a difference between 2 part of the same fandom that I found interesting. Also since for heroes in MHA real name is used at the most cornered and desperate moment, makes Hawks' situation that he abandoned his real name more horrible. Real name who is the sign of vulnerability and non professional bond is embarassing weakness for Hawks. Also when for other the real name was used when the caller feels the most concerned/cared toward the receiver, when Hawks was called by his real name in manga means something bad will happen to him, his wing got burned, his dad hit him, his mom ratted him out and use his name on goodby letter, Sad Man Parade came to Gunga and AFO called him Takami, I wish someday someone will call his real name with the feeling of utmost concern for him as person just like others.

お手を煩わせてすみません。あなたはいいなブログをお持ちで、私は大ファンです

This is really fascinating and thank you for this ask, as it gave me a lot of things to think on! Also please don't stress about your English; it means a lot to me you still sent an ask in! Like most English-readers, I absolutely glossed over the fact Pixie Bob and Tiger called each other their real names! It makes complete sense for this scene to have weight in Japan given the cultural context. Other cultures have similar things where full names are used only or names + patronymics. My mother has a story where she hung up on one of her mother's coworkers/friends because the friend, thinking it was my grandmother who picked up the phone, began the conversation with my grandmother's diminutive name (informal name) and with the informal "you" in our language (incredibly rude back in the 60s) and so my mom was so flustered she said the person got the wrong number and hung up. Directly addressing someone informally is fairly unusual in a lot of cultures, more so in Japanese. They used each other's first names, too, which is really familiar. You can tell the Pussycats have been childhood friends. I'm saving a lot of my thoughts on this for an essay on Toga and what I think she represents, but I was watching a series called "Cooking for the Makanai" and it really startled me how indirectly feelings were expressed even between two people who have a relationship, to the point where the cliche phrase of "The Moon is Beautiful", which was coined as a way to avoid saying "I like you", was still seen as incredibly strong. Graduation Day talks about this more, but I really find it fascinating that Japan places so much importance on directness and vulnerability in conversation. As an outsider, to me it seems like there's an effort made through the language to minimize risk and hurt feelings by "softening" and "not directing" the language.

Anyway, back to Hawks. Yes, and names are absolutely important to identity which is I think why Keigo's got so much trouble with this. His name is not his and also he doesn't associate it with good things in the first place. With regards to "Takami Keigo" Hawks is both fleeing the connections and memories that name comes with and also fleeing the vulnerability he'll have to accept by having a name and identity outside of Hawks. "Wing Hero Hawks" is a safety blanket at this point, a way to not take accountability for his own life and also question what in life he can and should change. I do wonder if we'll have him end the manga with accepting being called Keigo. Truthfully, I don't know. Part of me thinks he'll go look for his family after the war, but I don't know. If it happens, he'll definitely start using Keigo again. But to have someone call him Keigo and treat him like a person requires Keigo to believe he's worthy of that. At the moment he's not able to think like that.

Thank you for the ask again. I love hearing about what the Japanese fandom is discussing!

[6rookie-writer0110]

Bad Boys request: male reader is Marcus Burnett ‘s son and he’s joins the military, enlisting in the Marines to join Reggie. Reader and Reggie are both deployed to Cuba to find Armando. Since the last thing Armando heard from Mike was to “head down south” to run from law enforcement. Reader finds Armando and gets into 1v1 fight with Reader holding his own against him. Reggie stops the fight, with Armando recognizing Reggie before. Reggie explaining to Armando that reader is Marcus’s son. Reader and Reggie unfortunately get separated from their group and decided to camp out in Armandos safe house. Though Armando is cool with Reggie, he’s still a little standoffish with reader. Though slowly both reader & Armando start warm up to each other. Reader talks about wanting to make his family, mostly his dad & brother-in-law proud. Armando talks about his mom Isabel, growing up being part of the cartel. He also talks about Mike being his dad, and he (Armando) still trying to get use to the whole thing, after being lied to for years. He also talks about making up for all the crimes he committed (slowly building a small life & helping a community in Cuba). Reader jokes about since he’s Marcus’s son and Armando’s Mike’s son, that technically makes them “cousins” which both of them laugh. Then All three hear a noise and they stand up to a criminal gang breaks into the house. It turns out they’re here to kill Armando for money bounty on his head. All three Reader, Reggie, Armando fight all the criminal gang members using hidden guns and knives. With all three becoming like friends/bash brothers. After the big fight, the three of them decide to move not wanting to get followed. Armando decides to leave Cuba, since he’s been discovered, travels to a different country. He greets and handshakes Reader & Reggie goodbye, gets on a speedboat. Reader & Reggie say goodby too, wishing good luck to Armando. Luckily the two finally located their marine group and when has if they found Armando, both replied No, to keep secret Armando’s secret.

Friends/bash brothers All three fight the gang with reader/reggie/aramando slowly becoming friends/bash brothers.

Cool idea. Ok, bro i will write it

[zarvasace]

Gold, any

FS! 420 words blaze it

---

To nobody's surprise, Red starts crying long before they make it to the sanctuary. Green can tell he's trying not to be loud or annoying about it, but the atmosphere weighs heavily, soaking their boots and making it hard to breathe. Or maybe that's just the impending rain. It's fitting. 

Zelda isn't with them. She'd respected their request to stay back, so she's waiting at the edge of the forest. She'll come if they're gone more than an hour, of course, and Green doesn't worry about that. 

Five minutes into the silent walk, Green starts crying, but like the rest, he doesn't stop. Red holds his hand, and Green squeezes it back. He doesn't know when Blue's tears come, but by the time they reach the grove, only Vio's cheeks are dry. 

Each of them holds their sword, sheathed, looking more out-of-place than they ever have. In the gray light and encroaching mist, the gold hilts look coppery and distinctly non-glimmery. Green almost wished they had lost one of them for good. 

Vio's quiet, and as they approach the pedestal, he drifts closer and closer to Green's other side. Their steps align, all four of them, and Red's tears renew. 

"I don't—" he says, and Green moves from holding his hand to wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "I don't want to say goodbye."

"It isn't really goodby-ye," Vio tries to explain, but his voice breaks on the last word, and he goes quiet instead of talking more. 

Blue huffs, though it sounds wet. "We won't exist anymore. It's goodbye."

"The longer we talk," Green says, trying to be firm, "the harder it'll be. Come on. Let's just…" He's the first to pull the sheath off of his sword. It shines dully, and the first raindrops fall. 

Vio's the second, and Blue is the third. Red hesitates, but follows, raindrops mixing with tears on his face. He hiccups. His emotions are making it difficult for Green to keep control of his own. It's probably the same for Blue and Vio, but nobody tells Red to be quiet. 

They step up to the pedestal as one, swords held up. Is it Green's imagination, or do his brothers' swords flicker? 

"See you later," Green says, a hurricane in his heart and his fingers clammy. He doesn't think, he just plunges the sword down into the stone. 

—and it's pain—it's emotional turmoil—it's seeing the world from too many angles—it's being too big—it hurts—

And then there's just one of them.

…or is there? 

[theresattrpgforthat]

THEME: Pokemon

Today's recommendations focuses on Pokemon-inspired tabletop games, or games about catching/befriending creatures!

Pokemon Essence, by KingBim

Pokémon’s tone is Noble and Bright. Noble means that the player character’s actions can have a lasting positive impact. Bright means that most characters in the setting are good people, and that the institutions and norms of the society have a positive impact on everybody’s lives.

This is a game that is looking to replicate the themes of the Pokemon anime, as well as the battle style. You look to your humans to determine their personality, goal, and aesthetic. Meanwhile, moves, types and abilities are in the realm of your Pokemon, who will be used in both combat and non-combat challenges.

Pokemon Essence mainly relies on a d6 to resolve actions. There is an energy mechanic that determines your Pokemon's ability to use certain moves, and evolution is treated as a form of character advancement. All in all, there's some cool-looking systems at play here, without the heavy detail of a much crunchier system.

Ligmàmon RPG, by NeonoN.

Welcome to a bustling world full of wondrous creatures known as LIGMÀMON. Here, where every problem and dispute can and should be resolved through a LIGMÀMON battle, together with your friends you will seek adventures in ancient ruins, discover rare LIGMÀMON species, train to become a LIGMÀ League champion, or maybe even stop a shady criminal organization in their tracks!

This game comes with a special little program called LigmàBoy, which requires Adobe Reader to run. It will generate different kinds of Ligmàmon for you to battle or catch. If you can't use the LigmàBoy, you can still generate new Ligmàmon using roll tables on the PDF! On the GM side of things, there's a quick evil team generator that you can use to give your players some antagonists to foil time and time again.

All of the rules you need to play Ligmàmon fits onto one brochure. So print off a copy for each player and you are good to go!

MONS, by benji t.

“Hello there! My name is Ginkgo! People call me the Etymon Prof! This world is inhabited by creatures called etymons! For some people, etymons are companions. Others treat them as peers. Myself... I study etymon as a profession. First, what is your name?”

MONS is a pretty stripped-down version of a Pokemon game, using the 24XX system. You choose a character trope, and build three etymon using a roll table. You can only keep three etymons at a time, and there are mechanics for saying goodby to etymons once you have trained them up.

What I like about this system is the focus on adventuring with a creature companion, and away from battling with them. Etymons are helpers in discovering new information, unraveling mysteries, and interacting with other Etymon trainers. If you're interested in the idea of bonding with Pokemon more than you are with the Pokemon battles, and if you like a stripped-down, easy-to-start rules system, this is the game for you.

Shatterkin, by Scribbles and Dice.

Shatterkin is a tabletop role-playing game about kids with evolving monster pets. Each player takes on the role of two different characters — a small-town kid and a strange evolving monster (known as shatterkin), who have formed a bond to help each other learn and grow.

Defend your small town from dangers — wild shatterkin, agents of the secretive Syndicates, or the mysterious power known as the Malice. When the situation is dire, your shatterkin can evolve to new levels of power, to face ever-greater foes. Be careful not to put too much strain on your shatterkin — you don't want to break their trust!

Shatterkin is Forged in the Dark, and each player gets two sheets: one for their character, and one for their Shatterkin companion. You don't collect beasts in this game - you focus on bonding with a single companion, whose well-being depends on the trust they have in you as their gemheart.

This is a great option if you are interested in games that focus on a single, fragile bond, rather than collecting various creatures. It's also good for improv and action resolution in-media res, as is the standard for Forged in the Dark.

ForeverDex by World Champ Game.Co.

If you received this page in the mail, congratulations! You’ve been brought on to discover and archive a new creature!

Players will use the zip code of the person who sent them the ForeverDex to randomly determine aspects of the creature they witnessed, like Type, Look, Disposition, and Power Level. Then, you draw the creature and write briefly about your imagined encounter. Finally, you'll pass the page along to another person who will continue the cycle.

This game is only 2 pages long and is excellent for folks who may live in different time zones and find it difficult to game together. You can choose how closely your creature catalogue resembles Pokemon, so it might also be a good fit for friend groups who have slightly different interests. It's not just good for Pokemon trainers - it's also good for monster hunters, folklorists, and people with an interest in biology or zoology!

Pokemon Tabletop United, by Paradox. Pokémon Tabletop United is designed to handle a variety of different ideas for Pokémon tabletop RPG campaigns. You can use the system for a traditional game where the players take the role of young Trainers receiving their first Pokémon from a Professor as they prepare to leave town for the first time and conquer the Pokémon League. Or you could play a campaign about Pokémon in Space or a Wild West frontier exploration game. If you like a lot of stats, number crunching and note-taking, this might be the game for you. With a number of source books for different kinds of campaigns and themes, as well as consistently updated splats for newly released Pokemon, this fan project is immensely dedicated to giving you the tools to create the Pokemon game of your dreams. Pick through the supplements, put together your first Pokemon, and enjoy all of the free content put together by some die-hard fans.