#thatfrailsoul

[thatfrailsoul]

– Nourishing your soul, treasuring your bonds

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

("Sleeping Beauty in the Wood", Maxfield Parrish)

It is already challenging enough to find within ourselves the courage to be who we want, who we truly are... Enough to assume that once done that - there is nothing, no one, else to worry about... And yet here you are. Pressured by this doubt that you shouldn't have in the first place. The one that choosing your own self - your goal, desires, your needs - might be not right for you, or even worse... not aligned with the path of your loved ones.

So... are you doing the right thing by choosing yourself? Will the ones you cherish understand and help you with this journey? Will your paths still remain aligned, side by side? Can you really do this for yourself, without being forced to say to them goodby?

Slow down for a moment. Breathe. Listen to your heart, to its rhythm. Allow it to speak to you. And choose the image that seems so familiar, calling so strongly your heart. Remembering that, whatever the message might be, you are free to listen to it or to let go. Without the need to make it fit. Because your true answer will always find you, the moment you will be really ready and will have the need.

_

A little message to the beautiful soul that requested this reading: Your questions truly moved me. I felt them deep down, as I too asked myself the same things so many times... So I wanted to do my best by looking closely at each question on your mind. It will be a slightly long reading... But I hope that it will give you the clarity that you are trying to find.

_

– Pile One,

three of swords, six of cups, the hermit

When we are growing, feeling the real change in ourselves, in the parts of us that for so long we didn't take care of and forgot... It is inevitable to feel more deeply, to see things that we never noticed before. In the world around us. In our life. In the people by our side. It is inevitable to, suddenly, feel resistance, perhaps judgment from some and even concern from others... Exactly in those things and actions that are so connected to us feeling better, stronger, more confident about what we deserve and who we are...

And it's confusing, you know. First comes the hurt and frustration, of doing all this work but not being seen, congratulated, appreciated for the new aura radiating from us and that makes us so proud. Almost like they don't like and don't want the better version of us... Then comes in the doubt and fear that it is the truth. That what you know for sure is the best thing for you... It's something that is so inconvenient for them. That perhaps, unconsciously, you once again became fond of people that were just so good at wearing a mask. Hiding underneath their true them, that is so different from who you want by your side and who you want to become.

And all of these doubts and convictions are so overwhelming for your mind. The only place where you have the courage to think about it, to consider, to try to find a solution... Because just speaking up and asking them about it out loud... feels so risky, so dangerous. Something that will be the end of a bond that perhaps is completely fine, and that you are complicating on your own in your mind.

But the thing is... Although we can indeed sometimes misunderstand one intention for another, through their actions or their words... There are only so many times that you can wrongly read the room or their tone while they are speaking their mind. Even if you convince yourself that sometimes you are a little too defensive or feeling a little "too much"... you are not naive. You are not completely new to this world. You already had these doubts, these uneasy feelings, these intuitions or fears about those by your side. It's not the first time that you are being supported on your decisions or journeys, and in the same way it's not the first time that you discover that someone is not in fact your "ride or die".

And this exact fact that it is not the first time, of fearing to need to let go of someone, being so affectionate but at the same time aware that you are for some reason not aligned, makes it all so incredibly hard... that you wander if perhaps making a step back and leaving the things the way they were, might be better than creating so many changes and chaos in your life.

But you are doing the right thing, you really and truly do. You didn't go so far, found this strength and courage, to doubt this journey now. Now that you are already halfway through it. So close to the finishing line. You didn't go through all of this for yourself, to ask then if everything will be fine, if they will in the end understand, accept the new you and stay... When what you truly want and are afraid to know is if you indeed need to let go of them as you are feeling now. If you need to leave behind those that judge so much who you are becoming, already hurting a version of you that is still so new, even if it will hurt so much your heart.

You already know all of this deep down, that it might indeed be the necessary thing to do. And you are also aware of the fact that you don't really want to do it, to choose between you and them, losing one or another, not being able to maintain both. You remember how difficult it is, feeling, being alone. And it only complicates everything. A decision that you are not able to make because both options see you suffering, because of others or of the void left in the place where they used to be.

So... Let me rephrase it a little for you: do you really want to need to justify your decisions or who you are, constantly defending yourself from those that should support and appreciate you and your life? Are you really ready for a constant battle with those by your side?

Because, are you doing the right thing by choosing yourself or not, is not even a question that should cross your mind. You are on the right path. You are doing the right thing. You are doing just fine. You are actually making the most important steps in manifesting on your own that life that you want to experience and enjoy. Starting from you. And through you - with those around you.

And this moment of resistance, this moment of you seeing so much difference between you and others in your life, it's not a way of the Universe to tell you that you are making the wrong decision, becoming too different and less relevant or appealing to those that you want with you. But it's rather a way to make you understand that not everyone can or needs to stay here for a lifetime. Not everyone can be satisfied and completely aligned with what you have in mind. And if there is a right way to choose who to have by your side... well it's for sure by sharing your feellings and thoughts, your desires and intentions, openly. Seeing who feels excited for you, who is proud of you and understands... Or who is feeling hurt, only because for once you are prioritizing your own self and what is the best for your life.

We indeed are, at some extent, the people that we have by our side. They influence us in how they treat us, their opinions, their convictions in which we start to believe too. They form you, consciously or not, through the ways they support you or judge you, limiting your decisions or your steps.

So don't hide in your mind for the sake of others. Don't try to analyse or understand all on your own. Looking for a solution to make everyone happy and satisfied. Think only about yourself now, exactly like this journey requires. Follow your own plan and path. And allow others to be themselves, like you are the true you now. Even if it means that your paths will go different ways. Because no matter how sad or difficult, it is still fine. To be different and to live different lives.

And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

_

– Pile Two,

the four of cups, the eight of coins, the ten of cups

Look at you - you are just blooming. With all the courage and strength that you've found to finally and truly take care of yourself. To nourish your soul, make it smile and feel free and alive. You got through so much, through so many new and uncomfortable steps. You faced and made peace with so many parts of you that were consuming you, filling you with anger, fear and despair...

You did it. You truly did. But you managed to do so by hiding yourself. Creating that safe space away from everyone. From their opinions, "advices" regarding your life and how you should make it through. From all the people that talked so much, but so rarely listened to you. Becoming for yourself, on your own, the closest and dearest person by your side. The one that you can truly trust your heart with, the one that can so gently calm your mind. You connected to yourself so deeply, finding so much within yourself... that you don't really feel the need to have someone else. Especially those that remained their old self, not changing even a bit in this time that you spent by yourself.

And now that you "came back", felt strong and confident enough to meet them once again... The difference between you, the moments of silence or of the conflicts, were just too loud. And where before you felt uncomfortable, you just started feeling completely out of place now. Seeing only strangers in a life that is supposedly full of people, so many of them by your side.

But there is a thing about you... About how you don't really accept the idea of giving up, of considering something, someone, a lost cause. You didn't do it for yourself, demonstrating how much a person can change, grow and start to shine again. And you don't want to do it for them, for those that... You really do want to see one day understanding you, the way you see and feel this world, perhaps finally appreciating you, cherishing you the same way you learned to do it with your own self and them too.

And you can really do it. You can really see this change in them one day, even if now it seems so impossible to find a way to speak to them more deeply, enough to touch their soul and give them a new goal, a new hope. It will happen. It is already happening now. Because of you.

With your courage, or despair, in finding your true self, in taking care of yourself, you unconsciously created an example. You demonstrated silently that there is no need to suffer and be pressured by a version of you that just doesn't fit you so well anymore. You showed that, although something so new and perhaps complicated at first to do - it is so worth it. To open up. To your own self and to others. To this life, the things that it always teaches us, but that we sometimes are not so ready to learn and make ours.

You created something so beautiful, by simply choosing yourself no matter what. Like a little seed that you hid in their subconscious mind, it started to grow, manifesting itself in their actions and decisions. That for once started to be for themselves, for their good, for their safety and wellbeing. Unlocking a new version of them, that sees so much more now in their life and their bonds. Cherishing every moment more.

It might not be something that you can see already now, not when it is something so little, that even they are only now starting to notice and appreciate more... And not everyone will bloom and grow... But those that will, they will surprise you so profoundly, they will surprise themselves. In seeing how much your paths evolved and changed, aligning themselves even though you both started to feel like it is time to let each other go.

You will rediscover each other, get to know again so many people that you were convinced to already know, finding out how actually similar, closer your hearts are. But... Just give it time. Be patient, the same way you were with yourself and the journey that you were on all this time. They are growing too, they are changing, and it is something that goes so differently for every person, that requires a different rhythm and pace from perhaps the ones that were comfortable and right for your soul.

Don't worry about it, everything will be fine. Continue to focus on yourself, on protecting your new boundaries and expressing your new ideas and passions. Gently, sweetly, exactly like the way you are. Radiating your beautiful light, and showing others a way to find their own right path.

And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

_

– Pile Three,

the knight of cups, the king of swords and the six of coins

When we start to strive for more, to have this deep need for a change, for a better life and us... It is sometimes almost impossible to not be overwhelmed with all that motivation and energy. With that desire to do everything at once, making progress as fast as possible and being finally able to enjoy this better life.

It is so difficult to not get caught up in all of this... That sometimes this incredible glow around your soul that grows so beautifully - just starts to blind your own eyes and mind. Making you see - where at first there was so much enthusiasm, motivation, exciting new steps - just so many more sacrifices and things to do. Just for a chance to live well and feel good.

And it just drags you back down. In that discouragement and tiredness, in that doubt of really being ready to start this journey. Of wanting it truly at all. And while you fall back in this spiral, in this paralysis of not knowing what is best or worse, if to need to work for a new life enduring again all those challenges and battles... Or to continue this one even though it just doesn't speak anymore to your soul... In all of this your mind is just working too much. Day after day, doubt after doubt, making you forget a little but important detail: you don't need to do it all alone.

Yes it was you idea, yes it is indeed your story, your life that you are doing all of this for... But a journey is not always so limited to only one soul. It is not always meant to be faced on your own. But you assumed it, too caught up in these emotions that a start of a new journey filled your heart. You isolated yourself, hid yourself from this life that doesn't suit you anymore, and from the people around you that just didn't felt aligned. You hid yourself, and started to create everything from scratch on your own. Facing so many new things and questions that you never considered before. Refusing to ask for help, to have opinions of others, because you knew for sure that the same way they never understood they won't do it now too... You convinced yourself of this. Taking away from you perhaps one of the most powerful and beautiful details of a journey: the strength and courage that gives you the not being alone.

It is true that, no matter how much you love those by your side, they are still so different in the way they see and feel this world, in how they want to experience this life... But different is not always negative. It is not necessarily source of judgment, lack of understanding and appreciation, lack of support... Sometimes, exactly that "different" is what can help you find new solutions, answers, new ways of overcoming an obstacle on the road you are trying to walk. Sometimes it is exactly that support and needed hand that can help you navigate your emotions and doubts.

They are different. But this doesn't mean that they don't love you or don't want to see you bloom as the most beautiful flower of this world. They are here for you, and they show it in the only way, from the only perspective that they know... But they can also do it differently, if only you let them learn, allow them to understand fully what is it that you are looking for.

They have so many other versions of perceptions and opinions different from yours. But this is where their strength is. This is where the strength that they can give you is. So many new ways of facing things, of advices, of experiences, of more delicate or more straightforward approaches. So much help that they can give you on your journey, if only you allow them to.

Don't hide yourself, don't assume that they will not understand. Because there is nothing that they want more - to help you be your authentic and most confident self. You grew up, you changed, your mind learned so well to be open to others and their ways. And they can do it too. If you allow them to learn from you. To stay by your side as you make your first steps, to see you, to feel you. And to protect and guide you, helping you to don't doubt, to don't be afraid, and to believe in yourself.

And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

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[thatfrailsoul]

– The look in your eyes, got me hypnotized

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three

There are people that just have something about them... Something that makes you unable to resist the urge to follow them, to get closer... Just to feel their energy around you. Just to receive their attention, feel their gaze on you. There is just something so magnetic about those that inevitably call you. A bait that leads you again and again into the trap of someone so intoxicatingly loving, so painful in the way they grasp your heart. There are many moments in our life when we are captured, hypnotized, by someone. A dangerous love, a painful friendship, a delusional connection, a misleading admiration... But how can we ever be able to resist them, protecting our soul from the ones that try to steal it, make it theirs to play with and enjoy?

This is our first pick a pile reading from the Divination Jukebox - I'm so happy that so many of you liked this idea! (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )づ♡

Apart from being obviously inspired by the story that this song narrates - "Hypnotized" by Funk Tribu and Part Time Killer - this reading was also guided by my cards, that showed me the point of view from which we should listen to this song, the way it wants us to feel, what it wants us to understand right now, what that part of our subconscious that resonates with it wants us to realize...

P.s. If you would like to see a reading inspired by your suggested song, you can learn more about how to participate here ↓

♪♡♪ Divination Jukebox ♪♡♪

Slow down for a moment. Give your conscious mind a moment of rest, allow it to step back. And listen to your subconscious instead, to that inner voice, to the intuition that is guiding you to the pile in which your message hides.

( You can scroll right down to your pile, but if you have a moment to spare - there is something that I would love to hear your opinion about.♡ )

In my each reading, I dive as deeper as I can into the topic or situation that we are looking at. I call for the most needed information for you, the guidance that is the most important for you to receive now... But as useful and right, I sometimes feel a sour taste after a reading. Simply because I understand too well that so often there is much much more that we personally might want to know, more details that we want to hear, more things that we want to be aware of... For this reason, and also to give myself a little more help financially, I was considering on doing extended versions of our pick a pile readings. An addition to each pile of a reading that we do, through which we will be able to have even more details about the situation. So we have not only the message that we need, but also the answers to the questions that we are most curious about.

{ Thank you for letting me know!♡ }

_

– Pile one,

the seven of cups, the death, the five of cups

To be seen, to be noticed amidst all the other ones... To be hold onto so tightly... To be chosen so fiercely and passionately again and again... There is nothing wrong about it. There is nothing wrong or entitled in just wanting to feel so needed and desired. So important and necessary for someone just for once... But when the part of us that desires it so much, finds it so romantic and loving, is the one that has so many wounds, that bleeds still because of all the times it was left behind or put aside... It is no longer just a desire. With each moment and connection that it passes without it, it transforms it into a weapon against us. And worst of all, a weapon that we don't realize to be the ones to hold.

Because for our honest, most genuine and softest heart, to be chosen is to be loved, to be enough, to be that all that someone needs or might want. It doesn't consider being a part of a plan, a part of a temporary satisfaction. It doesn't imagine that others might choose us, but only for a moment that will soon pass. We don't think so superficially, we don't focus only on the now, even if it is all that we hoped for... Our mind and heart rushes, moves forward in time, in our dreams and expectations for a fairytale like story that we think just began. We imagine and start to wait for more moments to create with them, and even difficulties that would be so easy to overcome now that there is someone by our side. We still feel that fear, still overthink and expect the worse. But we also fight every doubt and negative thought with the reminders of their gentleness and comprehension. We soothe ourselves with their loving ways, with the conviction that nothing can really tear us apart. Not when they were the ones to choose us, to come closer to us. Not when they were the ones to take care of us and promise us so much.

So when times change, when the first challenge arrives... we are armed with that sureness that everything will be alright that we created in our heart. Even if it is not just external interference. Even if it comes from them, from their suddenly confusing and so different ways. We still endure it and wait for the best, thanks to that enthusiasm and sureness that just being noticed and chosen created in ourselves. And it becomes only stronger when things do work out. When that person, after making a "mistake", taking some time or hurting us for the first time, comes indeed back and speaks so wholeheartedly about how they understood what they've done and how they will never allow it to happen again... It just makes our conviction stronger, our heart and mind even more infatuated with this perfect story of redemption in the name of love. In our name...

And then it happens again. And again, and again, and again. But we endure it, we are patient, we are understanding, we are hopeful of the fact that everything will be alright. And we fail to see the pattern. The way it happens so similarly every time. The mistake. The hurt. The regret. The forgiveness. And back from the start. Every single time, one after another, a well done play that for so long we consider being something normal... Just because we were convinced of it through the sweet and loving words.

We allow it to happen, without even knowing that we are the ones to allow it. Without understanding that this is indeed not normal. That this, in the first place, is not even what we were looking for when desiring to be chosen. And it just becomes a neverending cycle. With the same person or with the others. In the same exact way, or worse, in newer and ever changing ones. We never have a break. We never feel truly safe and chosen over other people or things. But we just become someone who is so convenient for when things get boring. So easy to maintain with just a few tender words and gentle ways.

And when it is described this way... It seems so obvious how it is wrong and dangerous, and how easy it is to recognise it and to avoid... But it is more tricky than it looks. It is much more difficult to recognise the danger, something that is wrong, when not only it is all that you've known for so long... But also the only one that you ever received from another soul.

Because recognising it is not the only step. There is also the one of refusing it, of walking away and not taking that "bait". But is it really so easy to ignore it, when you know that it might be the only food that you will find in miles and miles that you will need to survive? Facing loneliness, the coldness around you as there is no one to warm even a little your heart... It is not easy at all to face it. And it is even more difficult to choose it, condemning yourself to that silence and void, that absence of smiles, of laughter, of the joy of having someone sometimes by your side. It is not really the decision to hurt yourself. But the one of hurting you less, by giving yourself at least something, even if it is not the exact thing you desired.

Or at least so you thought... What in the theory of a broken and tired heart makes sense, reveals later to be something much more draining and hurtful than you can bear in the reality of your days. The days that perhaps are really not that bad, even if you are the only one to witness them... They are not so cold, even if you have only the warmth of your own heart. They are for sure different from what you desire, or even from what others might expect from you. But not for this reason they are useless or not worth it. To be lived for your own self, candied only by your love... They can be sweet enough to be still enjoyed. Rather than ignored just because it does not come from someone else's heart.

It is not easy at all to resist it, to stop looking for or accepting something that is so damn similar to what you truly want and hope for... But it is easier to start, one step at a time, to learn how to give more love and respect to your own self, to your own ways, your appearance, your character, all that is a part of your beautiful soul... Because it will create that needed and better armour for you, that filter through which you will see the ways of others, giving them credit and appreciating them, but also never feeling dependent, never feeling like it is the only thing you have. So even when it will happen once again, as you will grow and learn to understand the intentions of others more... It will not hurt so much, it will not happen for so dangerously long. Because although still remaining your sweetest, hopeful and open self, you will also become whole. You will be enough, even on your own. Your life as it is will be enough. And every time your soul will connect with someone, they won't be the reason for your days to be lived, they won't cause your life to crash down if they are no longer by your side... But they will just be someone that, if you want to, you can share it with. A little moment, or a whole life.

♡ { free guidance | a little thank you } ♡

– Pile two,

the hierophant, the death, the three of cups

This world is so incredibly vast... This life can be so different just because of one little decision, a step in one direction rather than in the other one... And it is beautiful, it is indeed. But it is also so overwhelming. This freedom but also the risk of making a mistake, of not knowing in fact what is the best for you right now. It is difficult and so so scary to make your steps out there without even knowing what you are looking for, what you would like to achieve in this life, what or how to create... And what you will do if it will not work out. How will you handle a failure all on your own, the one responsible for all your actions and the consequences, the only one to be able to help you or give you support...

So it is normal to look more for that safe space, for that creation of a solid and strong base, perhaps not in other areas of your life that are already so difficult to manage... But at least in your connections, in the people that are by your side and that indeed can make any challenge feel so different, so easier to take care of when you are not alone in this mess desperately trying to save your life. It is normal to do it, to look for them, and once you found them - to look up to them. It is normal to seek support and guidance from those that have such an important place in your heart once they entered your life. It is normal to listen to others, to their opinions and experiences in hopes of finding answers to your own questions about this life. And it is normal to be charmed by their confidence, their strength, their plans and how easily they realize them one step at a time. It is normal and it is logical. To look for someone that can help you grow and become better at managing your life. Someone that, if something happens, always will have your back, always will know how to catch you before you fall to the ground...

But while they do inspire you in your journey... their path is all that they really know. And you are the one that, still so hopeful about your own desires and capabilities, is able to translate their conviction for their goals in motivation for your ones. But what happens when you fall more and more, what happens when you start to feel so tired and hurt with each failure that tears your goals apart, while they seem to become just better and better, safer in their life..? You stop to transform it and translate it for yourself, their story and their ways. And you start to absorb it. Without any filter, desperately. Because you are so consumed that only doubts remain in your heart. Doubts about your own capabilities and chances to succeed, doubts about your awareness and ability to make the right choices, to fight for the right things... Doubts that are just void in your heart, your mind, your ideas or motivation. A void that is so easily filled with the dreams of others, when they are so important, so close, so powerful and successful. An example of perfection that you respect and aspire to become. So you make them yours. Their opinions and convictions. And they help you at every step, because it is simply something that they love and that worked for them, so they are sure it will do the same for you... But does it ever truly..? Or is it just a well hidden play pretend, your tired feet that you try to fit in other's shoes, in hopes that they will be more comfortable, more safer, in the end?

But even so, it is not something that you allow to happen just because of your weakness or such a low self-esteem either... It is rather an influence that you almost desperately accept, in hopes that it will work better than what you tried on your own. It is not really lack of desire of working on something by yourself, but it is rather a genuine uncertainty and confusion on what you want to work on in the first place. It is just the most innocent naivety, being so new and fragile from this perspective for this world. It is just the desire and need to be guided a little, to have that help in figuring out what is the best or what you want, what might work... And it is not a malicious game of manipulation from others either. There is no desire in washing out your brain and fill it with their dreams or goals. It is just a genuine desire to help, but with so little knowledge of the other ways and journeys out there in this world. It is only someone that knows so well and trusts that one specific something, being able to show and help only with and through that. And it is just you that don't really know where or how to make your steps, what path to take, and in front of the immense risk and responsibility of choosing on your own, prefer to trust someone that you love and respect so much. Someone that you know will never do something to hurt you or to ruin your life.

But it still happens though... In a certain sense. Not intentionally. But they still ruin your journey that you do have, contrary to what all these obstacles, failures, and constant changes made you think. It's just not a linear one, not a specific one like so many others have. Your journey is just about something different from simply choosing and achieving. It is more than just one path or one thing to do, try or enjoy... You made so much experience so far, but at the same time so little. From your perspective it is all about failures, not being able to manage things, not knowing where to go... And it is so little about the joy of freedom, the possibility to start again and again, the chance to try and experiment with so many ideas and ways that this world wanted so much to show you, but that presented it so confusingly and poorly, so differently from the way and a language that you could comprehend...

But it is nothing irreparable, fortunately and as always. No matter if you want it or not, there will be many more endings and beginnings, many more changes that you will face in your life... You just need to not be afraid of them, to resist that urge to hold onto the hand of others so dearly, hiding behind their reassuring back instead of moving forward, through and past the obstacles on your path. You just need to have more faith, in your own self and your way of being, your intuition and instincts. More than you trust the ones of the others when it comes to your own life. You just need to be there for yourself, when it becomes a little too scary, different and new. You just need to trust and follow your own gaze, the things that caught your attention. Instead of looking for and trying to decipher the glimpses from others around you, before making any step.

It is okay, it is still right and fine even if it is so different from the journeys of others. And just because they are successful after walking on their chosen path, it doesn't mean that you can't become it too, on a different one, or many different ones. To be successful it is not always or only to achieve your initial goals or to stick to the plan. It is also to be able to learn from what happened, to grow, to enjoy it or even just and simply experience something. And you do it so well already, you manage things much better than you recognise.

Hold onto your own self, onto your curiosity and even the mood swings that gift you the desire to do something else, to look for something more. And let go slightly of their hand. They will not disappear, the ones that you love and look up to. They will always be here. But now you will have the chance to live your life like you want and feel right, not how they would do it, or how they did.

♡ { free guidance | a little thank you } ♡

– Pile three,

the page of cups, the hanged man, the page of pentacles

What can be worse than believing so much in someone, in loving them, in giving them every chance, making them the object of your strongest hope... just for them to be someone that will walk away, uninterested to all that you've done for your connection, not being satisfied with all that you would be ready to do just for your bond..? Only doing it more than once. Again and again. Trusting, welcoming, one soul after another into your world... watching them destroy it after using it for a moment of comfort or unconditional love and support...

But it doesn't really matter for you, for your heart. Does it? All that you endure when you try to connect deeper with someone is simply nothing, compared to that world hidden in their soul that you can witness, that bond that can heal any wound, banish all the fears and nightmares of the old ones... if only they reciprocate your affection and love. It is nothing compared to the chance that the person in front of you is indeed the one. It is nothing compared to the pure pain that would overwhelm you if you miss them. If you miss them because you will be one of those that you swear you won't become. A cold, judgemental, selfish soul...

Because you know thank to your own self how people can be different from the mask that they carry when they are outside. You know how many stories and reasons can be hidden behind that coldness, that meanness, that defensivness that sometimes pours out of someone who is just not used to be treated so softly, so kindly, as you do thanks to your so gentle heart... You know it well, because for so long you felt the same way. In need to protect yourself, to hide your tenderness so you won't be used or hurt every single time... And you remember how, while doing everything to push others away, all you wanted was to be seen and understood, accepted and appreciated just the way you were... So you do it with others too now. Now that you found that strength and courage to just love the way you feel is right. You nourish every person, you take care of every one that crosses your path. You believe in them, you trust them. And you hope that one day, thanks to you, they will finally open up. And love you back.

But although so noble and incredibly sweet... it is a promise that is not so easy to keep. Not when those that you try to take care of are so different from how you were when you needed it. Their armour is stronger. Their pain is more loud. And sometimes... they already chose a different path, a more lonely one. And nothing will change it, no matter how hard you will try, how strongly you will believe that somewhere in them there is more sweetness and gentleness hidden, that there can be more between you than just this coldness and distance between your hearts.

You are incredibly loving, you are just so sweet. And it truly admirable the way you still hold hope, the way you find courage within yourself and are ready to put your own heart at risk just to help others. Just to gift them that love that you know they need... But it is also so destructive, for your own soul. To put yourself again and again on the line in the battles of others, just because they are by your side, close enough to be noticed by your protective and selfless eyes...

For how long can you endure it? For how long you can give so much of you, because of this strong conviction that there is more to people, to connections, to their stories... Because of your desire to know them, understand them and save them, like no one ever did for you when you needed it the most? It wouldn't be right to just tell you to not do it. To lose your faith in people and in the connections. To force yourself to believe that no one ever will appreciate the way you love or give you that same love back... Because it is just the way you are. So rare and beautiful in how much love you hold in your heart... But it would be right and even needed for you to learn to not force it... when you feel so much resistance, when you just receive silence, in return of your desire to help or show others a different way to see this world. Because there are those that are more sure and more honest. The ones that want to take care of their wounds on their own, and that would never accept to use someone, because they know too well how much it would hurt. The ones that just push you away, or move forward and past you, following their own journey and making it clear that they want to go through it alone... But there are also those that are more confused, more tired, or even worse just bored... Those that make you stay, seeing how much you want to give to someone your love. Those that accept it. But also never repay you. Those that take more and more from you, that are so willing to help every time that they ask you...even when they don't really need it. But just want it. So it is less lonely and cold.

You have a golden heart, a pure and honest one. And for this reason it should be protected, at least a little more. Be yourself, be kind, be gentle. But also pay more attention to the ones that call your name and seek your help so often, always right after being the one to push you away... Because sometimes there are people that just can't resist your love that is always so available, so comforting and convenient for their lonely nights, for the nightmares and difficult times that they could and should overcome on their own, but are just not ready. Or don't want.

♡ { free guidance | a little thank you } ♡

[thatfrailsoul]

– Parts of me that I seek in you

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

When we strive to connect, to know someone... There are many different reasons for which our heart calls more for one person than the other. The appearance, the ways, their mind or heart, their actions or deepest goals and desires... No matter what it is, there is always that something that makes them shine in the darkness that surrounds us. And, very often, that something is the same as the one that we lost, can't find in ourselves... So we desperately look for it in others. With such perseverance and obsessive need that, sometimes, we allow it to lead us to those that perhaps, at the end, we would've preferred to not meet.

So what is it? What you miss in yourself but so desperately need? Where or when did you lose it? And where and how can you finally find that missing piece?

Slow down for a moment. Breathe. Listen to your heart, to its rhythm. Allow it to speak to you. And choose the image that seems so familiar, so similar to what you feel. Remembering that, whatever the message might be, you are free to listen to it or to let go. Without the need to make it fit. Because your true answer will always find you, the moment you will be really ready and will have the need.

_

– Pile One,

the star, the ten of cups and the fool.

Your poor and innocent soul... Your tired heart, your consumed mind... The only thing you ever wanted, the one that you wanted back then, was simply to leave it all behind. All that pain, all that fear. All the reasons why you couldn't ever be enough or right for someone, for anyone, that for once you just desired to don't hear... You found the last bits of your strength, patience and courage, all that remained in your shattered heart. And you used them to try to heal. All those numerous wounds, so many that it just feels like a whole and single, draining, torturing, one.

But what did it give you, in exchange of this incredible resilience to try to heal? Only a little relief, a little distraction... That hid that hole that was becoming bigger and bigger, with each time that you worked on - or to be exact forced - the healing of your soul.

And this is the thing. This is what ruined it all, what made it so difficult and challenging. What influenced so many others areas of your life... One little but so important detail about who you are, the way you are. And how much you got used in this life to beat yourself up, blaming for every single disgrace that you experienced... How often you repeated it, demonstrated it to yourself with every step that was supposed to help you heal. You never were gentle, patient, understanding. You never gave yourself credit for how many right things and choices you made. Or how many others mistakes never were really yours, but of somebody else. You did none of this. But only focused on rushing, on becoming better, on healing faster, growing, so you could be sooner worthy and ready to show what a good person you are to this world. You were angry, frustrated, ashamed. You despised yourself for needing healing and learning in the first place. You regretted every single additional day that you needed to get it together. Only noticing how many flows you still have, how many wounds are still bleeding, how many triggers you still can't endure.

Your desire, your intention, was so good... So innocent, genuine and truly right. But so quickly and scarily naturally it became just another cage and punishment that you gave yourself. Changing the whole purpose, the whole meaning, of a journey that is so pure. That was never supposed to be so rushed, give you so quickly those results that now you are so angry to don't see manifesting in your world... And that you decided, unconsciously or perhaps not, to look for in others. The ones that seem so beautiful, so healthy and whole. The ones that seem to go through life so gracefully, no matter the obstacles or challenges on their path. The ones that seem to be able to influence you so positively, if only you stay close to them, showing you the right ways and directions. Supporting you, helping you in doing it correctly, like you seem incapable of doing on your own.

But, no matter how much we adore to think the opposite, we indeed are the only ones responsible for our journey. For our battles, our victories or our loss. No matter how supportive, how close others are, they still can't really help us. Not when we don't allow even our own self to do the needed work. You can't fight through it, not this journey. You can't do it with the only motivation and push being your own meanness, judgment and resentement for the things that you dared to do or not. You can't be there, behind your own back, looking closely at every your step and action, ready to attack if you don't do it right.

But you can allow yourself to take more time. To be slower. To make more mistakes. To feel once again that pain, if it's the one that still overwhelms your heart. You can remember. You can reflect. Learn something from it. Or maybe not. Because it is normal, it is right, to take time to heal, to go through it with all the needed ups and downs.

And you can still do it. You can continue this journey changing your pace and rhythm, or simply starting from scratch. You can and need to do it. Because no-one else can help and guide you, as you can do to your own self. By being gentle and understanding with your heart and mind, that indeed do their best to allow you to feel and experience this life.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

– Pile Two,

the magician, the fool and the page of swords

You have something so beautiful, so unique, within yourself. Such passion that, if not explored and shared, can consume you inevitably. Consume that power that you sometimes forget to have. So you always took care of it. You always nourished it. In the moments when it felt as natural as breathing, and even in those where it was too similar to a torture, that need to create and do something but without any idea on why, how to start or from where. And even if, thanks to you and your deepest love, this passion and calling did survive... It is starting to fade now. Submerged with all the questions and doubts about whether or not it is worth it, if you are good enough to do it at all, if it is really that important... All because for quite sometime you were the only admirer and supporter of your work.

You are wavering, your steps and actions as you create become more and more unstable, as every inspiration or idea seems not enough to be worthy of the success, even just appreciation that you want. But this something... Is so yours, so made perfectly just for you and to express your soul... That you can't really just leave it. You can't just stop doing it, even if it is becoming hard to be satisfied as you used to, because you so naturally always gravitate back to creating and allowing your mind and heart to speak up through every step of your work. So you keep going, with a non consistent rhythm, many set backs, infinite doubts... Doing it, because you feel this need and desire so much. But not really enjoying it anymore. Because in the eyes of others it never seems good enough, and therefore it doesn't feel enough for your own self. For the one that, in the first place, you were supposedly creating it for.

It is so natural and normal to have the desire to share, to welcome others in your universe in a sense, to show them who you are or how you see this world... But what starts so innocently and genuinely, a way to connect to others and don't feel so different or not understood, an alternative type of motivation and fuel for your creativity even... is so often soon to become exactly what kills it, overwhelming your every idea with the judgment of others, and their way of seeing the world.

It just shifted your perspective, about yourself and your work. It made you feel little, insignificant, too simple or too much, confronted to what others seem to consider deserving and worthy of their attention and love. It made you feel useless, because when your creation was ignored, you felt like what was really being rejected was your soul that spoke through your work.

And time after time, day after day, this calling became so faint, almost non existent. Not because it is really going away... But because you are just the one that tries so desperately to ignore it and to not hear it. Convinced that following it would be useless, without anyone appreciating and admiring what you do. Convinced that doing it for your own self and enjoyment is not really worth it, because it doesn't give you any income, any fame, any support and appreciation from others. Convinced that it is only and simply a waste of time.

But is it? Is it really completely useless if you are the only one to whom you dedicate the creations of your soul? Or does it give you a chance to feel and experience this world in your own way, processing those emotions and thoughts, reinventing them? Does it give you back the ability to breathe and feel at ease, once you allow everything that overwhelms you flow out through your work? Does it fill your time with excitement and enjoyment? Does it give you a safe place, that allows you to rest and hide from everything else? Does it make you feel proud of who you are and what you did, what you were able to create with your own mind and hands? Because even if it does only one of these things... Than it is worth it. Because this is what gives you the energy and fuel to live this life, to appreciate it, to go through it. Having something that always protects and expresses your soul.

You can't do only what assures you the interest or appreciation of others. You can't do it for so long as you are planning or trying to do. You can't do it without constantly feeling on autopilot, thrown from one work to another, trying to satisfy every one of them in hopes that in return they will support your work. It is not true to you. It is not what you want or need. It is not even something that you can do, the things that they want. It is only a play, of which you are trying to learn all the phrases and rhythm, but that you can keep up with only for so long.

This life is not unfair, wrong, useless, a constant and neverending annoying and painful cycle. But it is this way for you, who doesn't have anymore that tiny but vital component - the language of your soul. You are suppressing it, you are limiting it and judging. For what? For whom? For what reason? This is not something that needs to be enough or good for others. It is not something that needs to give you incredible success, wealth or recognition. It can, but before any of that it needs only to be something that you enjoy. Truly and simply.

You don't need to find new ideas, ways, hobbies, interests, sports, studies, paths to explore - you just need to comeback to what you already know that you love. And welcome it in your Iife, starting doing it again and more. Just for your own fun and enjoyment, that will overflow from your heart to every other aspect of your life. Connecting everything, and making it free from the torture of unsatisfaction and frustration that you endure.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

– Pile Three,

the devil, the justice and the star

Sometimes we cross paths with those that perhaps we weren't meant to be with, we weren't meant to create and have the same story as the one we desired and pictured so well. It happens. It hurts. Then, eventually, it goes away. But when it happens again and again, one person after another... One betrayal, lie or misunderstanding after the other... How can one not notice the one element that connects them all - themselves? How can one not think, even in the slightest, that perhaps it is not working out because of who and how they are?

So one dives into it, tries to remember every single moment, analyse their own ways, with the desperate need to find that wrong something and change it, making everything in themselves right again. With the need to demonstrate that it is something that can be changed and that it won't be this way forever. That they can and will be better, more worthy, more right, and for this reason chosen by someone. And perhaps they do find it, that something, they work on it day and night, fight their own demons and who they are, and come out of it brand new. They put themselves out there, open up to people and try genuinely to connect... And then it happens all over again. The same pain, confusion, uncertainty, doubts, betrayal or a broken heart. But they did the work right? They changed, or did they not? And there it goes the fear of not being worthy no matter what, of being destined to loneliness and hurt, or perhaps of not doing enough. And some collapse, they hide, and try with all their forces to make themselves enough, to not need anyone else in their life. While others... Others don't say it out loud. Don't think about it. Hide it deep down. And try to make things work no matter what it means to accept and endure, just to not have yet another person leaving them behind.

And you... You are doing it right now. With them, or with others in your life. Subtly, unconsciously, you force yourself to stay. No matter the words you hear, the actions you see, the promises that you know are already broken and mean nothing to the person by your side. You stay. Because walking away might mean that there never will be someone else, that you will be the only one you will have.

It is difficult and painful to think about being somehow different and wrong, never enough. It is even more difficult to try to work on it and change yourself. It is difficult to face not only the pain but also the loneliness. To feel that fear of living this way forever creeping on you with each day. So staying, trying to be more understanding, patient, docile, considerate, delicate, silent and comfortable for others... Seems indeed less difficult and scary, because in return they too will stay. Even when it is clear that you are torturing and consuming yourself. Even when you so clearly and surely know that the way you are treated is not okay at all. All for that acceptance, that tiny affection, even if not genuine. All for those things that you think you will never be able to find in yourself, and might not find once the people that are now in your life will not be here anymore. A void that, perhaps, won't ever be filled with another person, with another connection or love.

But by convincing yourself to adapt to others and what they look for or don't love... You did exactly that one thing that will not allow people who are genuinely interested in you to come closer. Not when that place in your life is already occupied by another someone. Not when you show so ardently and persistently that the way you are treated is what you want.

A right person - the one that is interested in you exactly the way you are, not less not more - even when so close to you to see you... Will never be able to do something, to help you, to take you out of this play pretend and torture... Because no one can do what should start from you, what you should be ready to finally to do: to protect yourself, t be treated right, to be loved and appreciated for the way you are.

It is safe, please believe me. It is safe for you to be who you are. It is safe for you to don't accept scraps of love and attention from others. It is safe if you walk away from those who can't find that one thing they want in you, who is already perfectly fine and enough. It is safe for you to don't force it. It is safe for you to let them all go. Because the space they will leave behind them is not something so negative as you convince yourself to be. It is not a sign of loss. It is only more space for your own self to grow, to bloom, to be who you are. To shine so proudly and brightly and to be seen by those who will notice and love you. And not the ways you can adapt to someone elses need, desire or mood.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– The one on your mind

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

"At the fountain, Autumn", Henry Ryland

The one that is always there in your mind in your sleepless nights, in your waking hours... The one that charms and scares you at the same time... The one that you would like to have closer, but are so afraid to let your guard down, so confused on what they want or have in mind... What is the reason behind the crossing of your paths..?

Slow down for a moment. Breathe. Listen to your heart, to its rhythm. Allow it to speak to you. And choose the image that seems so familiar, calling so strongly your heart. Remembering that, whatever the message might be, you are free to listen to it or to let go. Without the need to make it fit. Because your true answer will always find you, the moment you will be really ready and will have the need.

– Pile One,

the four of wands, the sun, the six of coins

You got so used to checking everything, to reflect deeply and thoroughly on what you know about a person, before getting closer to them, before opening your heart.

And even if you are trying to do the same with them now... It just seems impossible to understand beforehand what this connection, if nurtured, if given a chance, would have in store for you in a future that seems so scary and dangerous to you.

If you stay silent, they are silent too. If you try to get closer, they come closer too... Every your try to challenge them, to provoke them and have a reaction helpful for your understanding of them just proves to be useless. Useless when they so perfectly mirror you and your actions, reflecting every tiny detail about you, when asked who they really are.

But while you are becoming more tense, more convinced of having someone so evil and manipulative right in front of your eyes... It is more the fear of your already hurt and tired heart that speaks up, rathert than the truth.

There are no masks, no well played games or perfectly crafted lies. There is no mirroring or adapting to who you are in order to charm you, leading you on the wrong path...

There is just someone who honestly and genuinly is who they say to be. So familiar, so similar, so close to your soul, your heart, your mind... There is simply and for once someone who is really compatible with you. Same interests, same dreams. Same things that make you smile. Just someone who speaks the same language as your heart.

Don't complicate it. Not this time and not with them. There is no need for overthinking, second guessing and careful steps around them just to stay safe. There is no need to hunt for the future, in hopes of understanding what will happen in advance, why or how. There is no need to try to frame them, choosing beforehand what space, what relationship, in your life they can have...

There is no need for complications. But just for a genuine and open heart. The same that they so bravely hand to you, even though they are so confused on how come you still hesitate to take it in your arms.

They are honest. They are genuine. They are open. They resemble so much the you that was yet to know the pain and fear that you've got through. They are that version of you that felt still safe, walking side by side with someone. They are the you that never learned to be afraid...

So don't let them learn about it. Not from you. Don't be the one who pushed you away, who never trusted you... But let them get closer. Let them have that smile on them, that genuine interest as they hear your voice that describes your life or who you are. Let them have those moments with you, those shared interests, those plans for the adventures that you can try. Let them be them, already so affectionate and excited about you. And let you be you. Rather than this well crafted minion that you send in front of you to meet others, too afraid of being deceived again, so you are the first to pretend...

It is normal to have difficulty to trust, to make those closer steps. It is normal and good to protect yourself... But it is also normal to be loved and appreciated for who you are. To connect with others. To create pure and strong bonds.

No one asks you to change suddenly who you became, who you are, forgetting or ignoring what you were forced to endure because of others in your life... But they do ask you to give only one chance, just one time, to someone. Someone who didn't cross your path because of a mistake or a mere coincidence... But that indeed saw you and chose you, wanting to have you in their life.

P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

– Pile Two,

the knight of swords, the king of swords, the three of wands

In all the years, connections, even just the moments that you observed... You truly did learn a lot. About people, about their emotions or their motives. About the steps they choose to make based on what they know... And it gave you power.

It gave you the confidence to face others, thanks to your inner knowledge of what to expect from them. It became a part of you, so natural and easy to just see and know. Who they are, how they are. What they have in mind when they are by your side. And most importantly what role they want to have in your life, and the one you can give them instead, based on your own desire...

You do it unconsciously. For protection or sometimes for fun. And you did it with them too... Diving so deeply into their mind and their heart, what hides in them... Asking them so tenderly to open up for you, making them feel safe as you get to know them... And as you start to feel them so close to you, so familiar, to wanting them really and truly by your side.

Even with their problems or complications. Even with the differences that there are between your souls. You simply learned and understood so much about them to feel completely sure of knowing how to handle and take care of them, of the wounds on their soul. Although...

There is still that one little part of you that feels uneasy, even if your mind is already so full of perfect moments shared and lived with them, even if your heart is so ready to allow this connection to transform... There is still something in you that screams and asks for attention, that you won't give it because you are well aware of how it will tell you to not do this, to not have these convictions or hopes for more...

You do know a lot about people, about yourself, about this person... But there is also so much that you never truly got to know. The way those emotions, those challenges that you already saw in others... still can have a completely different effect on one's soul. Make them feel, make them act, the way you never experienced before.

There are no lies, no games, no evil intentions in them... But this, and the fact that you got to know so much about them, doesn't mean at all that you won't be hurt. Knowing someone, understanding them, is one thing. Completely different from facing them and their ups and downs, their pain and hurt.

It's completely different from enduring it, from trying to help and save them while you are hurting so much being by their side, frenetically and constantly healing the wounds that they even don't know that they provoke.

Their life, them... It's more complicated than you tell yourself just because of your strong fascination and attraction to them.

There is a reason why they were so lonely when they crossed your path. There is a reason why they tell you so much about themselves almost too easily... It's not because of your incredible mind power. It's simply because they are completely honest in order to warn you. In order to protect you and themselves from a battle that they are not ready to endure.

They are doing their best, they are gong through it and getting better. They will come out of it, they will be truly free. And while they might indeed enjoy to do it with you by their side, supporting them and giving them that motivation to fight ... Perhaps it might be better and easier without those labels, that perfect story that you already imagined, forced so soon onto you and them...

P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

– Pile Three,

the ace of wands, the high priestess, the four of cups

There were so many times in which you were so eager to connect with someone, to get to know them, to create genuine and deeper bonds...

There were so many times in which you tried your best, pushed yourself out of your comfort zone, tried even to adapt just to be able to have something in common with others... Without it ever being enough.

It just happened so many times, that at this point you are not even really sure that you want it, that it is worth it. And the loneliness that you always tried to escape from, starts to become so familiar, not so bad at all. Not compared to the hardships, illusions, betrayals and pure pain caused by the ones you thought you could trust.

So when they came along... It wasn't really convincing. Their excitement as they were spending time with you, and the desire to share with you more and more... It wasn't convincing for your heart that just got used to not opening up, to not trust, to not let your guard down. It wasn't enough to stop you from shoving your own excitement deep down, looking away, before there were any hopes in your heart.

But even though you already distanced yourself, already made it clear that you don't want or need anyone by your side... There is still that part of you that thinks about what if... What if they were true like they seemed, what if they were truly honest and genuine, what if they really could've been someone to finally to connect with... Someone to get closer to, after all this time...

For once you can trust this voice. It is not coming from your overthinking or delusional mind. It comes from your heart that recognises a familiar and safe soul, and tries to be heard by you. Tries to tell you to not run away.

It is indeed different. They are different. They are someone that you can trust with your heart. There won't be anything dangerous, complicated, confusing or strange. There will be just genuine and true affection. Eyes that see this world the same, a heart that feels the same.

There will be just someone who understood you even while you were running away... And someone that still hopes that you will change your mind and give them that chance.

P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– The one dear to your heart

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

( pictures from pinterest : one, two, three )

For your every step closer, guided by the purest and most genuine and loving intentions, filled with the only desire to maintain and nourish this bond... There are always more steps further, far away from you, that they make frenetically, putting even more distance between your hearts, willingly tearing this connection apart... So is it even worth it? To fight for someone that seems to do so much just to hurt you and push you away? Is it really worth it, to be so patient, to try so hard to adapt or get used to their ways? Or is your hope that all of this is just a big misunderstanding that hides their desire to have you in their life... Just a dream that will never be realised?

Slow down for a moment. Give your mind a moment of rest, allow it to step back. And listen to your heart instead, to that inner voice, to the intuition that is guiding you to the pile in which your message hides.

And if you have a moment to spare before scrolling down to your message, there is something that I would be really grateful to know your opinion about, so I can make this blog as comfortable as possible.♡

Are the previews/ descriptions at the beginning of a pick a pile reading as this one helpful? Are they able to let you know what this reading will be about and if you are interested in it? Or is this something that is not necessary, or even too much for you? Would you prefer to have a shorter "intro" to a reading, perhaps in form of the questions that we will answer in that post? Or is it more comfortable for you to don't have any intro at all?

Thank you so much for letting me know! ♡

– Pile One,

the hanged man, the seven of swords, the two of swords

There is so much love, true and genuine affection in your heart. There is so much that you feel towards them, so much that you have and are ready to give to them, only to protect them and make them feel safe by your side... There is so much in your eyes when your gaze meets theirs, that is simply impossible to not understand it. It is impossible for them to not be aware of how much they are important to you, the place that they already have in your heart...

But it is also in the same way impossible for them to not be aware of how dangerous it is for you. To be so ready to sacrifice so much of yourself for someone that keeps on pushing you back. They can't ignore how not right it is, to accept such a genuine attention, even if it heals their wounds and scars. They know that they don't deserve, they are simply not ready, to be the one that your heart cares for so much.

They are aware of it, they understand it so well, they never would want to make you go through so much... But at the same time it is the only way that they know to be efficient, in protecting those that they are hurting, even when it's what they least desire. It's the only way that they have enough strength and courage for. The easiest one to make you understand how dangerous and wrong it is for you to stay by their side.

They are honest, for once, they are showing simply and truly who they are, what is going on in their mind and their heart right now. They are showing it all to you, just the way it is, so confusing, so complicated, so painful and so wrong. They do so in hopes that you understand it yourself, that you let go on you own...

Because there isn't any play in place, there aren't any lies or deeper secrets and realities, perhaps emotions that you still hope to find. There is only a really tired and confused soul, that is going through so much, but that really wants to work on it... on their own. So they don't hurt anyone in the meantime, so they don't feel guilty for something that they did without realising, for the promises that they were not able to respect for one reason or another... Just so they can manage and be responsible only for them, what they do only to themselves, not to others that don't deserve to go through it at all.

But your affection, your care and almost annoying hope and patience with them... Is so difficult to deal with. Because you simply refuse to listen to their honest words, you don't want to see the reality of their actions that are trying to show you what it means to be a part of their current world.

It is not meannes just for the sake of it, it's true. They are trying to protect you, even if in such a wrong and hurtful way. But not for this reason it is not real or it should be ignored. They are being honest with you, and they are waiting for you to push them back. Not because they are secretly wanting to have you by their side, helping them change themselves or their life... But just because you hold onto them so strongly, no matter what... Making it the only possible way to make you let go of them - making you do so on your own.

It is time now. It truly is. You did so much for them and for this connection, no matter what type of relationship it was, if there was any at all... but you did it. You ripped open your heart and showed them how much you can love and care, how much you are willing to do for someone that is a part of your life. And they did the exact same. They showed you who they are so many times... And it is the moment for you to accept it and surrender to it truly, even if it is so different from what you convince yourself them to be. There is nothing more to it. There is nothing else that they or this connection could be.

Listen for once their answers to your silent questions, see them in their actions that are so real and painful every single time. Listen to them and understand that this is not your battle, it is not your sacrifice, it is not what you deserve. Even if you care for them so much.

For once they are doing something to help you and protect you. And if there is a good moment to accept the hurt that they gave you... It is now. To accept it, understand it, and never allow it to happen again to your already tired heart.

It is enough, you did your best. And it is time to let them go now, because this is exactly what they want, this is what they are pushing you to do for already a really long time.

P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

→ ( ♡ send me a little thank you ♡ )

– Pile Two,

the strength, the hierophant, the sun

Fortunately... There is so much more to this bond, to you and them, to your paths that so often drift apart only to realign. There is so much more to this confusion, to these ups and downs, to these questions that are filling your mind each time they are by your side. There is so much more. And incredibly enough, even after all these struggles and conflicts, you are still ready for it...

You are still ready to do it. You are still ready and willing to wait, to be patient, to do your best to understand or to make them understand.

It never changed anything, not the uncertainties, not the distance, not the misunderstandings. Nothing was ever strong or bad enough to make you even consider the idea to push them away once and for all. It isn't just any relationship, any person... It is someone that for so long was such an important part of your life, of your days and what overwhelmed your heart and mind. You learned so much thanks to them, or because of them... You grew up, you experienced things that you are sure you never would've done if it wasn't for them holding your hand every time... They did so much for you, unconsciously, without even realising it. And although you always tried to do the same for them from the very start, always tried to care for them and keep them safe, even if from themselves...they never really accepted it back. Never let you closer, or to be exact, never admitted that you are already closer than they perhaps would like to say out loud. And not only because of your care for them, but especially because of their affection to you as well... Even if it so hidden under their ways that not many would understand...

But things will start to change now, one step at a time. You will start to see their heart open up, giving you finally those answers that you never were able to find, even though you tried to have at least a vague idea of what is going on in their mind. They will show it themselves, introduce you to their soul, the one that they hid so well and for so long from everyone. That deeper understanding and connection, that oppeness and honesty, that clarity in your interactions and moments... It will finally be all here. Simply because for once and truly they will realise that there was nothing to be afraid of. That there is nothing bad in your intentions to be by their side and take care of them, be there for them, the same way they did for you when you needed it so bad.

You met them in an interesting phase of their life, in a moment of deep transformation, changes and shifts one after another. So many ups and downs that were simply too much. Enough to make them dizzy, confused about their own desires and life. It wasn't intentional, but they did pull you right in the center of it all, of the storm of all their emotions that made them so strange and every time different in how they treated others, and you of all. But it is coming to an end now, good or bad it doesn't matter. It is enough the fact itself that they will regain their balance, their peace of mind. They will be able to breathe deeply, with more serenity. They will be more relaxed, with each smile. It will be almost like a whole new person. Someone of whom you only saw some glimpses, in those times where they were so caring and sweet contrary to their usual self at that time...

And it will be all worth it. Your hope and endurance, your conviction that there was more to this person and their story, then just a bad character and negative intentions. There was more than just a desire to hurt others and push them back. There was always been a whole hidden world and story, so intimate and so difficult to share... But that they will finally tell you about. Because in the softest and most tender way you earned it, their gratefulness and trust. Because you cared for them and were patient, even when they themselves where not aware of needing it so much.

P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

→ ( ♡ send me a little thank you ♡ )

– Pile Three,

the page of coins, the ten of coins, the king of swords

Your care for them, your affection, was always so consistent, so genuine and deep since the very beginning of this bond. Since the very first time that you felt truly connected to them, in that moment so simple and intimate but that showed you how much your minds and hearts are aligned...

But as beautiful and meaningful as it was... it was just a single moment. Just one moment that was enough for you to be sure to want to get to know more about them, to get closer to them and to connect more. But also just one moment in which it ever happened. That understanding and spark between you that never appeared again, no matter how much you waited.

Time after time, challenge after challenge, no matter what they did or how much distance they put between your hearts, you always continued to look for them. For that person and soul that you felt in that one single moment... But that they kept on hiding so well no matter what.

It wasn't really a lie or an act meant to mislead you... but it was something that is not in their character. To be so free and open and close to someone. It isn't something that they do so easily or so often. And you know it well now, after not being ever able to see them this way again no matter how much you waited for them to "come back".

It became an unintentional bait. It made you care and look for someone that you felt so special and worth it, just because of that one moment of deep and unexpected connection, nourished by those little tiny bits of gentleness that you heard in their voice, saw in their gaze that met yours every time... But that safety, that fake openness and closeness that confused you so many times, was just a consequence to all the affection and care that you gave them. It was only them feeling comfortable in the safe space that you created for them in your heart. It was just a slight nourishment of something that they never wanted to take seriously, but that still was so sweet to feel and have around sometimes.

Your affection and desire of closeness was so genuine and honest... but they used it to create something so complicated and consuming, something that takes so much of you and gives so much to them. Every time they need it. A constant source of understanding, of patience, of excuses and protection to them and their actions. So much for so little, so convenient for them to have by their side... They transformed something so pure into something so calculated and 'useful', so easy to take or to put aside... but they won't be able to do it for much longer now. Not when you, as they consume you, are starting to ask the right questions, allowing your mind to take control of the situation that went on for too long.

Hold on to those thoughts, those observations, those questions and doubts that fill your mind every time they decide that they don't want to be around you now. Hold onto those fears of being just an option, someone that comes and goes, someone that they just keep here for fun... because all of this can't possibly be just overthinking. It has a deeper meaning and you know it too. You know it because you wouldn't be here reading these words, feeling this sadness, this grip on your heart if it wasn't so.

It is time to be the one that puts some space between you. But not just for a moment, just because of a whim, like they love so much to do once in a while... Do it intentionally, do it to protect yourself, to honour yourself and your pure heart that gave so many chances, so much time, to someone that used it only to play around. No matter the circumstance, the situation, the relationship... it is just not right. To be treated this way, to receive so little, when you gift so much of yourself every single time.

P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

→ ( ♡ send me a little thank you ♡ )

[thatfrailsoul]

– It's okay to let it go now

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

It is so difficult, so simply frustrating, to feel once again that ending coming near. To be aware of the fact that, once again, everything you did was not closely enough to make it work... But while you do feel the anger and anxiety creeping in... You also feel deep down the pure relief, because perhaps you might have finally the possibility to stop sacrificing yourself, your energy, so much... It makes you confused, about what you truly want and especially what is the right thing to do, if it is really okay to give up and let it go...

So here you can find a little message for you. For you who did so much. And that needs to remind your own self a truth that you, so overwhelmed, are risking now to forget.♡

Slow down for a moment. Breathe. Listen to your heart, to its rhythm. Allow it to speak to you. And choose the image that seems so familiar, calling so strongly your heart.

Remembering that, whatever the message might be, you are free to listen to it or to let go. Without the need to make it fit. Because your true answer will always find you, the moment you will be really ready and will have the need.

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– Pile One,

the six of wands, the tower, the two of wands

The Awakening, Eugene De Blaas

You just arrived here. Here where for so long you wanted to be. It is only the beginning, it is all really starting just now, but... It already feels like an eternity. All the obstacles you overcame, all the challenges you faced to be here. All the times you pushed yourself further even when you didn't have anymore any strength. It's only the beginning of this journey, but you feel already drained, already tired. You feel already frustrated at the idea of needing to keep on doing it tomorrow, perhaps even more, and who knows for how long.

But you can't really think about giving up... can you? Can you really have the dearness to take this decision back, returning to where you were before? Can you really have the courage to say it out loud, that this prologue, this preparation for the journey you chose, already consumed you so much?

You are frenetically buying time. Lingering here, not really doing that step that will sign this beginning, the one that you earned and worked for so much. All because you can't help but feel and wander about what's behind you, in the space and time that is before this choice that you are forcing yourself to do. Where there are no limits, no struggles, no fears. The space where all the challenges of this journey won't arrive to you, because you will comeback to the start again. Where you can choose differently, try other things, go in a different direction. That liberty that is so close, just a one decision away... But at the same time so distant because of all the things that you already endured for this journey instead.

You can't decide. No matter how you look at it. You can't understand what will be worse: continuing on this path that, even before starting, already showed you how the rest will be, how you will constantly feel and what you will struggle with; or to face the challenge of searching for something else and having nothing again, combined with all the judgment, delusion that you will feel from those around you and just within your own self...

But going back, being honest with yourself and accepting that it is not for you... Will it really make useless all your dedication and work? Will it really be a missing opportunity, you letting this chance slip through your fingers? Or will perhaps this be you really using it, using it to find something new, something even better because it will be just so right for you?

You are human, you change and you grow. You still have so much to learn about this world. And it is normal to imagine something to be in one way, try it, and discover it to be different, to not be right for you. It is normal and okay to change decisions, change your convictions, opinions and your mind. No matter how much you did in their name or for how much time.

Not everything needs to be done up to their designated completion. Not everything needs to be believed in or worked for until its very end. You can realise that something is simply not for you. You can accept that you made a wrong assumption. You can allow this journey to end for you in this moment, different from others or from what you planned it to be. And you can do it while still being proud of what you did and learned for it.

Simply because this, realising that something is not right for you, can still be exactly what you needed to do all this time. What this was all for. To learn more about this journey that made you wander, and to get to know more your own self and who you really want to be. For sure different from what you imagined... But still a purpose, still fulfilled, still right, still enough and worth it. And the one that still and always allows you to end it and let it be.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

– Pile Two,

the magician, temperance, three of swords

The Siren Lorelei, August Schmidt

You were so patient with yourself. So kind at every step, at every doubt and fear. You reassured yourself, convinced gently that it is okay, that you can do it, even if it feels so strange. Even if it makes you be and feel so different from what you used to, from who you thought you were and how you imagined you would want your life to be. You were so loving, to yourself and to this situation and people involved... that you stayed right here, and tried, again and again.

Just to be sure, for your own self, that you indeed did your best, that you are not betraying anyone and messing things up. You pushed yourself constantly out of your comfort zone, listening to others and their opinions or advices, wandering when that moment of feeling confident and into it will arrive. When this pressure on your heart will pass.

But what you convinced yourself to be just inexperience, just some sort of fear for change or not being used to these ways... Perhaps was your inner voice telling you that it is just not right for you.

It is right the idea that until we try something, until we experience it, we can't really know what it's like. If it is really something that we can't enjoy in any way, or get used to it, seeing positive things even in those parts of it that we assumed we would've hate...

But it is also true that you did try, you did put yourself out there, you did push yourself further, continuing to give yourself time to adapt. You did ignore that uncomfortable feeling that was creeping on you since the very first day and try.

And this... This simply gives you the right to let it go and stop. Knowing, within yourself, that you did everything you needed and everything you could. That you have nothing to be sorry for, nothing to be ashamed of...

But only everything - your every decision, every step and every time you had that incredible strength and courage to not give up - to be deeply proud of. Proud of being who you are and the way you are. No matter how the journey itself is, no matter if you will be the one to let it go, or if it will be this journey that will decide that it gave you all it could. And that it is enough.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

– Pile Three,

the death, the queen of swords, the nine of cups

Evening by the Lake, Max Nonnenbruch

You didn't start this journey with the thought that it will end so soon. You didn't dedicate so much of yourself and your time, just for this to go so poorly right at the start... And even if it wasn't for this, it's just so irritating, the fact that it seems that you can't never win. You can't have your idea or your plan working out from the start to end.

And this, this sort of frustrating realisation that you are having, is torturing you even more now that you don't really have a choice. Now that this journey will either way end.

It is simply draining, tiring, to need to make all these big plans, strategies, choosing a goal and dedicate so much of yourself to it... Just for being forced to restart again.

And you just feel it deep down, that you can't ask yourself to do it once more. Not after everything you did to just have this chance, this glimpse of possibility that was indeed too good to be true.

But if we need to tell the truth, if we need to talk about what hides deep down in you... Then we also need to admit the fact that you didn't really give all of you to this, or to those others journeys. You did give a lot of you, but not everything. Hiding still that hope and desire that you can do things differently from what all these options wanted you to do, different from what others, people or just circumstances, try to choose for you.

You still and always hoped and waited, for a real chance to make things the way you want, the way you feel that it will be right for you... And if you, for a moment, remember it, admit it, allow it to come to the surface... Seeing this and other situations from this perspective... You are not really missing or ruining opportunities, you are not really failing. Because you, deep down, never intended to be successful and go further this way.

You are aware of it, you knew it always even when you tried so hard to hide it. And the universe, this world, knew it too. Others felt it. No matter what you said, promised or what you did so well. Everything around you knows your end goal, your little but so promising and strong desire, creating all these situations and journeys that you've seen a fraction of... Just to help you. Not to succeed in them, to walk these paths right up to a goal you never really wanted. But rather to allow you to find little bits of knowledge and experience that are so needed for that plan, that vision, that you have in your heart.

You didn't lose, you actually won all the way. Finding and accumulating exactly what you need to have a clear picture of the world around you, of the sources that you can use, the ways in which you can try to do it, the people that can and will support the calling of your heart. You found it.

You found everything that you might need. You just need to take a moment to unpack it. To look at them truly, for the first time from the perspective of your own journey and goal, from the perspective of your own desire.

Don't hold onto what is already ending either way. Don't hold onto what could've been, what you could've achieved, or what you already prepared yourself to do... But rather allow yourself to feel the liberty of movement, of thought, of creation that you now have without these limits or responsibilities that you never really wanted either way.

It is an ending. Once again. But this time it is a good one. The one that is setting you free, giving you the real and only opportunity you need: to be honest with yourself and to for once follow your vision and dream.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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[thatfrailsoul]

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P.s. See the full painting at the end!♡

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Slow down for a moment. Allow your heart to guide you, to tell you if there is really a message here for you... And whatever the answer is, feel free to listen to it or to let go. Remembering that when you will be ready or will have the need, your true message will find its way to you.♡

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Yes. Because, even though it's unfair, even though it was so overwhelmingly painful and challenging - it was necessary. Because you're so persistent and ready to fight for what you love, for what you consider right... that you would've never been able to let it go. To see the reality, understand and accept the fact that it was more harmful than right for you. That situation. That decision. That person. The ones that the world decided to protect you from, stepping in when you needed it the most. Even if you are starting to realize it only now. Now that, not so gently but for your own good, you were pushed away. Into a new and different phase of your life.

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Even though this journey was always meant to end... Its transformation into that battle that you've had to endure was not the way it was supposed to happen. Your heart, so powerful, convinced and ready to fight for what it feels is right... Was too strong this time. Had too much resilience to make this work, no matter how, no matter how much you would've need to try. And although there is absolutely nothing wrong with it... Sometimes it's exactly this desire and perseverance that makes us lose sight of the reality and what is right.

Especially, when we are running from our past, determined to don't make the same mistakes that scared us so much. To the point that it's easier to sacrifice ourselves to make everything change and adapt, then to accept that no matter how much we tried to avoid it, we found the same pain and nightmare even if in someone new, far away from the past.

But everything is alright now, even if it still hurts and every memory makes your heart tremble. You are fine now. You are safe. You escaped and found your right path once again.

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Pile Three, the six of wands

You handled it much better than you imagine. You made the right choices even if the wounds they created make you doubt. It happened. But it doesn't really matter why or how. It's already in the past, as the time keeps running and drags you with its passage. With all the new beginnings, new people, new moments and emotions that almost overwhelm your life. Not leaving you a second to process and allow yourself to take a break and realize...

But rather than being a cruel joke and coincidence, it's more of an awkward way of this world to not allow you to fall into that spiral in your mind. It's their way to not allow you to focus on anything but your strength, courage and all the things that still await you in your life.

Because the most important thing, truly, is that you are here now, and everything about what happened... is already far far away in the past. The one that you already faced and survived, and that doesn't need anymore the attention of your heart and mind.

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"The Bouquet", 1900, by Wladyslaw Czachorski.

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[thatfrailsoul]

– The chosen path

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

"Manuela", Conrad Kiesel

This word is so vast... There are so many possibilities, so many different stories, so many journeys that we can go through and that can shape our life, who we are... So many of them, and all depend on just our choice. A choice that is not at all easy to make. Not so easy to be sure of, even if we already made the first steps.

This reading focuses on the path that you already chose, that you did already start. It focuses on letting you know if it was indeed the right one or if there is still time to make steps back. If there is something regarding it to know and to keep in mind. (And a reading focused on helping you to choose the right path and journey for you, will be posted in a few days from now.♡)

Slow down for a moment. Take a deep breath, give yourself a needed moment of reflection and rest. Wander through the details of this painting... Which one attracts more your gaze? To which part of the painting it belongs to? Pay attention - it is showing you where your message hides and awaits.

– Pile One,

the two of swords, the ten of cups, the page of coins

It took a great deal of courage, didn't it? To make this choice, this uncertain step on a journey that you know so little about. It took all your strength to trust it, to trust others and their reassurance that it is alright, that you will be fine...

It is not at all something that you so often or easily do. Relying on others. Following their opinions or choice... But you were, you are still, so confused and new to this. To this phase of your life that no-one really prepared you for.

You didn't knew anything better. You weren't able to find or choose something different from what those by your side suggested you to pick... And now you just wander if it really will be so easy and right as they said. If, in the first place, their words and convictions were honest, and not just a brutal joke...

While still being so close to the very beginning of this journey, you can't help but look back and all around. Exactly like you did before, in hopes of finding the right one. But now you do it with more fear, even more anxiety than before. Hoping and at the same time fearing to see a sign, a warning, that will tell you that you indeed made a mistake...

But even though it seems so strange, so different from their usual intentions... Those that showed you this journey really did it with a genuine and honest heart. In a rare moment of openness and compassion, they saw in you that version of them that once feared the same. That was so confused and uncertain in the same way. They saw your struggles and worries that resembled so much theirs. And they saw, being someone external, those little hints and details about you and the right journey for you, that you couldn't see on your own, too pressured by the weight of a such important choice.

For once there wasn't any irony, any malice, any bad intention. For once it was just a genuine and heartfelt advice, the needed help, that they once desired so much to receive as well. It was just confidence that it can really work for you, it can really be right for you, for the way you are.

And it can. It truly can be the right path. No matter if you will decide to experience it up until the very end, or just for a period of your life. It has indeed something in store for you. An experience that is worth to be lived, lessons worth to be learned.

It can and will work out if only you go easier on yourself. If only you take your time. If only you do it one step at a time.

It is normal to feel anxious, to feel that pressure of the future that seems so influenced by this choice... But even that future can always change. It is not so scary and settled at all.

You will always be able to change things, to discover and understand more about the life that you want. But now... You already made this choice. You are here. At the very beginning, with so many different ways to live it and to go through it.

So focus your attention for a moment here, commit to this decision, and give it and yourself a chance. For it to help you make progress and create your own experience and life. And for you to enjoy it as you grow.

It was just the first step. Everything is still fine. Everything is still possible. You can still make things work for you on this path. If you so desire.

P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

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– Pile Two,

the star, the three of wands, the knight of coins

It all just feels so fast. So overwhelmingly fast in the way this one step, this one choice, caused so many things to shift in your life. New emotions, new worries, new routines and challenges ahead... All just because you really did thought that it was the right path for you, you were so confident about your choice...

And you were right, actually. You were right in your thoughts that analysed so much all the possibilities and options. You were right in your intuition and inner voice that said that you can do it, that it is the one. You were and are right. The same way this path is still safe for you, even if it seems so chaotic and challenging right now.

It is just the beginning. But not in a fatal, dooming way. It is not just the beginning of these difficulties, problems and thousand of questions without answers that will follow you till the end of your life...

It is just the beginning of this journey. A journey that, no matter how much information you gained or how many opinions you heard, it is still something that is new to you. Completely. Even if you planned it for so long. Even if it's not the first time you make this decision, choose this person, this career or so on. It is still different and new, it will be every single time. And at every first step it will be normal to have so many things to handle and to take care of. So many emotions and thoughts to process before being able to feel confident and calm.

Everything is alright. You didn't make any mistake. You didn't choose any fatal situation or journey. You are fine. This path is fine. It is safe. It is right. Just slow down and breathe. You need a moment, just one, before rushing in.

Let go for a moment of all the things you learned and prepared for this journey. Even if it took you so long to do it... You don't need it now. At least not all of them at once.

You don't need to comprehend everything now. To have the perfect understanding and plan for every question and situation. You don't need to find answers right here and now before making another step... You can just do it. And find it a little later, on your way, perhaps in someone that will be by your side.

You are not alone, whatever this journey might be. There will always be someone that will walk close to you, that will face the same things, and that will be open to take care of them together.

But you are trying to solve it and prepare everything all on your own. Even if no one asked you to, even if there isn't any need at all.

Just slow down. Observe. Allow yourself to truly feel this new beginning. Reflect on the things you are seeing, on what you are experiencing, not on what you could've or should've know.

Spend a moment to focus on yourself as you walk through it, not on the journey as you try to rush it and escape. Take your time, breathe in and breathe out. And remember the you that felt so confident and sure about your capabilities to handle this. Because they were right.

P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

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– Pile Three,

the moon, the two of coins, the one of coins

You worked so hard to create new possibilities, new chances in your life... Perhaps even too much. Focusing your all, your intentions and your dreams, all on the possibility to shift for the better this life that simply didn't fit you anymore...

You gave so much of yourself, in this profound hope that things will become better... But it took so long to happen... That you simply didn't have any choice but to settle, but to go for something that wasn't at all what you wanted, but that was already here, offering some sort of reassurance and safety in the days you most needed it.

You went in a different direction from what you pictured. You got through it all. The frustration, the desperation, the anger, the uncertainty and doubt, the acceptance...

But none of them were as painful as the regret you felt once that opportunity did come into your life, exactly when you already made peace with a different reality, and started to appreciate it the way it is, the ups and downs, making progress and learning to find something good even in this...

Nothing created more conflict and disruption as the decision and choice that you never really asked: the one between the journey you never wanted but accepted and started to get used to, learning how to navigate it and even being proud of the progress you made..; and the one that you for so long dreamed of, so much sacrificed for, but never received, at least not when you wanted it and asked for it.

You weren't prepared for it, you didn't see it coming.. and now you just don't know even how to feel about it. What to do. If it's the moment to say goodbye to that dream, or if to sacrifice for it the hard work of a different journey that you did.

So you are taking time. Making steps both here and there, trying to handle everything, not wanting to choose between one thing or another. Not wanting to feel again so vulnerable and afraid of what comes next.

You are silently working on it, consuming yourself as your mind that first was supposed to choose between them... Is so dangerously starting to consider to keep it going this way. Holding onto both choices, putting on the line your own health just to not risk to ruin and lose both paths again...

But it will happen, inevitably, if you will keep pushing yourself through the days that are simply too filled with all these things. You will lose both of them, sooner or later, simply because you are one, you can take care and experience just so much. You can't do everything and be everywhere. No matter how much you desire it.

You will lose both of them by simply losing yourself. Because it is a dangerous game. It is a too heavy of a sacrifice that you are asking from yourself.

You deserve, you need, to be able to experience one life, enjoy it, love it, feel it. Not only the stress and anxiety that comes from trying to balance two opposite paths.

Step back. Do for yourself this favorur. Stay still for just a moment. And be honest with yourself, with what your heart wants from this life.

Because it is not a matter of the progress you did, of the possibilities or challenges. It has nothing to do with the time you spent doing one thing or desiring the other. You can grow that experience, that progress and passion in yourself... you can start and try, and achieve your goals whenever you want.

But what you can't do is to consume your own self, forcing you to play two games, just for the sake of not losing once.

Choose your story, choose your life. And let go of the other that you know deep down never was yours, never spoke to your heart. You won't lose anything. You will only gain more honesty with yourself and more peace of mind. The safety and stability that you deserve but that you are sacrificing because of the fear of admitting what you feel now.

P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

[thatfrailsoul]

(Pictures that are used here are from Pinterest - check the link at the end of the reading to find and download them from their original creator ♡)

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Slow down for a moment. Allow your heart to guide you, to tell you if there is really a message here for you and in which pile it hides... And whatever the answer is, feel free to listen to it or to let go. Remembering that whenever you will be ready or will have the need, your true message will find its way to you.♡

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When they see you, when they look at you... They see the strength of someone who keeps trying, even when every part of them is so tired and consumed. They see the eyes of someone who got through it all, but that still tries to calm down that resentful voice that can't but highlight the worst now in this world... They see someone that tries its best to remain the same gentle and loving soul. While feeling the shift in each part of you that tries to face it all, by becoming rigid and unfazed by all the challenges that you are forced to endure. They see someone who is worthy of that love, affection, and serenity that slowly but finally is flowing in your life again...But they see also someone that can't win completely against their hurt and tortured heart that keeps seeing the danger in disguise in every moment... And they truly would like to help that precious and poor soul of yours. Help you to remember that there is more, that there isn't only darkness, loneliness and cold. And that you deserve a chance to live and feel it. You deserve much much more.

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They see in you the version of them that they already lost. The reflection of what they once so ardently desired to be, to appear in this world. That strength and courage in learning, from others, from your own self, in seeing not only the hurt and bad in this world, but also all the other beautiful things that can grow from those. Transforming a wound, remains of a destroyed love or dream, in a new beginning, in gained knowledge, in the strength to live for more. They look at you and they are mesmerized, overwhelmed with admiration for you but also regret and judgment for themselves. For the moment they stopped to look around for more convinced that everything that there is - is not worthy anymore. It might not look like it... But every moment with you, every word you speak... It's gentle but still a hard to swallow pill for them about how there was indeed a different way of coming out of all those challenges and nightmares. That there was, there is, still something to live and fight for.

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Pictures used in the reading ♡

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[thatfrailsoul]

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Slow down for a moment. Breathe. And choose the image that aligns the most with what you feel.

Allow your heart to guide you, to tell you if there is really a message here for you... And whatever the answer is, feel free to listen to it or to let go. Remembering that when you will be ready or will have the need, your true message will find its way to you.♡

If you feel like stopping by, before scrolling to your message, I would like to know your opinion.♡ If you do answer, thank you so much in advance! As this way you help me create a more comfortable and safe place.♡

When interacting with the pick a pile/picture readings, do you prefer when the message is short and direct (more easy to digest), or when it's a little longer and detailed (and you can take your time reading and reflecting on what it says)?

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There is so much that you found in them... Understanding, acceptance, appreciation for who you really and simply are. A safe place where there is no need to pretend. A safe person with whom there is no need to wear a mask, because it would be useless to try to hide from those eyes... A tender, warm, affection and protection. From all the wounds that those of the past left on your heart... A chance to heal, with their support and gentle ways. A chance to escape that past completely, through a connection that might give you enough love. Perhaps even more than what you think you deserve...

But is it the only type of love that might be enough? The romantic one? The one that, you imagine and expect, is powerful enough to blur everything else in your life? To hide from you all the challenges, all the dangers... Or perhaps to hide you from them? Or is there more? More ways to love, more things to gain and discover in yourself through the affection, support and admiration of someone else? Someone who sees you, and it is able to show you who you really are, the courage and strength that you really have? How much you are ready and capable of finding enough of them in your own self, to be able to face this life, instead of running and hiding from them behind someone else's back?

You see that more between you, in them. You see it because you desperately need and want it. To be able to finally feel that heavyness and pressure lifted from your tired shoulders. To be for once able to don't have this overwhelming fear and frustration, knowing that you are not alone... But you can find all of this in them, in others, without necessarily being connected through a romantic love. You can find it in them, even if they are simply and genuinly your friend. The one who will be there, not because they are binded to you with a blind love that you became used to desire and idolise... But simply because they are here for you, they cherish you and care for you. And even if there might not be that something more that you want... There will be that connection that you the most need. True and honest. Powerful in the moments and feelings that it will gift you. And always here.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

So many contrasting emotions are overwhelming your heart now... Between the affection and the desire that grow more and more, and the fear of what it might mean for your connection... For the person that you learned to know... You are not that far away from exploding. From burying yourself under so many possible outcomes, reactions, words that you could hear from them in the eventuality that you make that one step closer, allowing your heart to speak up.

But it is much easier than what it seems. It is much more innocent, what you feel. It will not cause any disruption, any catastrophie. It will not create walls between your hearts, that already know each other so well and so much. Because you already are that more. You already are for each other that support, that strength, that inspiration and motivation that is not at all so superficial. It is not so little that you can think that, the feelings that are blooming in you now, can destroy your connection so easily or so fast. It is much more stronger, it is much more deeper already. The person in front of you it's not someone that just passes by. They know you, perhaps more than they know themselves. They feel you, like they never had the courage to feel their own self. And they will listen to you. They will understand you. They will accept you. Because from the very start this connection was different. And you both know that well. Well enough to not let it burn down, just for a feeling that has nothing malicious or wrong in it. A feeling that is pure, exactly like your heart that they already learned to love and appreciate so much.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

It is not the first time isn't it? This feeling in your heart is not at all new. Not regarding them, that came into your life out of the blue and made it so vivid, like it never was before. So full of emotions, of desires, of curiosity and excitement of seeing and feeling so many old things so differently. Like it was the first time that you were alive.

But you never had a lack of courage, of resilience and confidence in yourself and your worth. So how come, with them, you never really did that step forward? How come you never dared to ask or offer more? Perhaps because they never hid it. They never left room for misunderstanding, for interpretation. They never left room for someone to get closer to them than what they wanted. And from the very first day, it was clear that you were one of those. The ones that are not supposed to see and know their more intimate world.

But no matter how much you are aware of it, no matter how much you try to focus on something or someone else... You are still here. Still feeling your heart pounding so strongly when they are close. Even when you are suppressing these emotions, not wanting to be the one to ruin this connection and make them feel uncomfortable. You are just trying to hide them or to ignore... But is it really the only and right way to respect them and their boundaries, and still have a chance to be a part of their life?

You are not letting go of it, you can't really let it pass. Simply because this hiding is so different from your usual ways. It feels so forced for your heart, that it is used to clarify things right away, finding out directly if it is meant to be or not. Trying and working on it, or moving on. Instead of remaining here, with this sort of suspension, not a no, but not really a maybe. But even if you can't have that direct answer from them, you do have one already. You do know their boundaries, their limits. You know the way they treat you and see you, and you know how different it is from what you feel in your heart. And the only reason it is not enough for you to find peace and let go... Is because you are not making it be enough. Because once you imagine and picture one thing... It is really hard for you to accept to lose it, even if it never was yours.

But it is not so bad, to accept this friendship and genuine connection. You won't lose anything, if you will nourish and enjoy it just the way it is. Actually, you will find something that is much more than what a romantic connection that you pictured could've given you. You will find much more appreciation and satisfaction in respecting their boundaries and not forcing them or yourself in transforming this into something more. Just don't ignore it, don't hide it, don't suppress it with the frustration and anger that you have now that comes from this feeling of inferiority, lack or loss... But rather allow yourself to understand that not every deep and powerful connection needs to be a romantic one. And in leaving this relationship the way it is, you can actually find something much more meaningful and worthy of being cherished, respected and enjoyed.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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[thatfrailsoul]

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P.s. See the full painting at the end!♡

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If there is a message here for you, you will feel and know it. And if you will not - let go of it. As your true answer will find its way to you in a true moment of need.♡

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It is the right moment. You are ready, as well as that person that would feel so right and safe when they are by your side. It is the right moment, and it's been already for a really long time... But it is not happening because you don't let it. Because you don't open your heart, where there is still and always a specific someone that occupies this special place, even if they are already in your past.

You are lying to yourself. Or to be exact, you try so hard to force yourself into believing that you moved on, that you forgot them. That you are brand new and healed, ready for new beginnings. But while being the right thing, the needed thing for you to feel and do...

It is not really what is happening deep down in your heart.. And while you do try to make the right steps and actions for you, convincing yourself and others that you do it because it's what you truly feel - in reality it's the only thing remaining to do as time passes and they still didn't come back to you.

It is hurting you, more than they and that ending did. You are hurting, giving that connection and situation more than they deserved to have from you. You are hurting yourself because you hide, from the reality and the true meaning of those memories of them that you keep on living and watching in your mind.

While actively repeating to that same heart - that you are making still feel so vividly that love not allowing it to let go - to open up to others, to be closer with them, to connect like it's the love of your life. Even though you know for sure that who you need and want is someone else, a still clear image of the one to whom you never truly said goodby.

It is enough. It is already time. Let go of them. You won't betray your love. You can't do it when it already faded, in all this distance and time. It is the most right thing that you can do for yourself and them. For your heart and mind that you are putting against one another, making them pursue two different narratives at the same time.

Let go of them, let go of that connection. Allow yourself to do it and to accept the truth. Because you can't and shouldn't ever welcome in someone, when that part of you is already taken, even if they are not anymore with you.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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You are free now. You are finally free from all the things that were consuming your soul. Even if they are still here, all around you, they don't hold that same power over you anymore, they can't harm you like they used to. All thanks to you, to your courage and strength. Thanks to your patience with this world and with yourself. To all the steps that you were able to make, growing with each one of them.

You found so much on this journey, within your own self. And this ironically made space for something new, for something bigger. That now is ready to find you, the you that truly learned to love someone without forgetting about your own heart.

You don't need to look for them. You don't need to do something else, to search for signs. Or to analyse, controlling every person and their role in your life... You need only to be your truest, most authentic, self. You just need to live, like you want and like you feel is right for you now. Experiencing what your heart craves and not being afraid of living through more...

Through more challenges perhaps, more fears or doubts. But also more courage, more beginnings, more realisations and situations that you will make yours, using them to transform this life into something that you truly enjoy.

And like all these things, allowed to flow into your life and making you truly live, this too will happen on its own. They too will be called and welcomed in, by your heart that is not afraid anymore.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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You ask yourself so often this question, you crave this connection, this new story for your heart... But when you wander about it for too many seconds, your mind can't help but be filled with fear and anxiety. With the wander about how it can be, how you can find that someone or how you can be found by them.

What you could do to find the right person. How would they enter your life and treat your heart. Will it be right or like what you already experienced? And what if how you were treated in the past is that "right" way of loving? What if you need to accept it even if it hurts so much?

As soon as your mind is overwhelmed with all of this... Comes in the doubt of whether you are truly ready... And indeed it is still soon for you. For your heart that is still learning how to love and treat your own self well. Let alone to know what it is like to be respected and cherished in the true and right way by someone else.

But you will get there. One step at a time. Without rush and burned stages. Without the frustration and the jealousy for the progress of others that you seem to be unable to have. Because they are only moments. Of those quite heavy but fast to pass overwhelming emotions. The ones that don't in any way erase or invalidate the progress that you made. But actually demonstrate and enhance it, through the way you are able to come back so fast to be patient and respectful to your own self again.

You are growing and healing, you are learning everything at once. So it is normal that it takes time to make space for something new in a life that is so full of emotions and thoughts. Don't be afraid of missing something, of being already too past the right moment, of making mistakes and not being quick enough to reach balance in this area of your life.

You have plenty of time and opportunities. You are going to be completely fine. Even if you won't find the right person immediately, but after taking care of your own life and what you have deep down in your heart and mind.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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"An Engaging Story", Delphin Enjolras

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[thatfrailsoul]

P.s. See the full painting at the end!♡

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Slow down for a moment. Allow your heart to guide you, to tell you if there is really a message here for you... And whatever the answer is, feel free to listen to it or to let go. Remembering that when you will be ready or will have the need, your true message will find its way to you.♡

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There isn't really so much room for a risk... When you already spent so much time doing it, or to be exact imagining it, in your mind, putting yourself in the shoes of those that you were silently jealous of. Their life so different from yours.

There isn't much to check, control, be sure of. Simply because consciously and unconsciously you waited for this, you prepared yourself. Going through every way it might feel and be. It's not uncertain, it's not improvised and sudden - you were and are ready for this. You only can't find the courage to make that first step, leaving your current live behind.

But it's not so tragic, it only feels like it. Because it's something so new but at the same time that one thing that you wanted and missed for so long. But it won't be this life or that, this beginning or your older path. Nothing will collapse, shift so drammatically, leaving you without any way out of it if you won't feel convinced about this new journey and opportunity in your life.

In reality it will be much more subtle, gentle, step by step. Because this is just an opportunity for you, a chance, to taste and check this idea and desire that you've had. It's a possibility to understand it more, finally feel it, instead of only dreaming and imagining. So you can really decide if this is something of which you would like to have and experience more.

And if it will not be... If it will be so different from the image that you painted in your mind... You will still be able to make steps back. To your old but for this reason safer life. Where you will have the time to calm down and rest, getting ready for a new idea that you will want to try.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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It is not really a matter of is it safe or not... It's more about whether you will decide it to be one. Whether you will allow yourself to take this path, this opportunity and chance for something more and different... Even if there is so much that is uncertain and uncomfortable for your anxious and still so inexperienced mind.

It depends on whether you will go for it, finally and fully being aware of the fact that, as always, one way or another, you will make it work. Enjoying this journey, using those scary or confusing parts of it to transform it in something even more exiting and beautiful. Something that is worth to be proud of, of the fact that you lived and experienced it on your own.

It depends on whether you will allow this chance to help you to come out of this shell, this old and tiring life that so ironically you got used to, to the point of being afraid of letting it go. It depends on whether you will allow yourself to simply enjoy it, without thinking already now, before making even the first step, of all the obstacles and turns that you might need to face.

It depends on all of this, it depends on you. Simply because your heart and mind are so powerful. To the point that they are shaping an experience that you yet still need to do. Something that you have so little information and idea of... But that you can already picture so well in all those worse scenarios and chaos that your mind shows.

It depends on you. Because this chance it's something that you truly earned, worked, planned and dreamed hard for. But that in the same way you can deny yourself, letting it go before even holding it in your arms that deserve it all. All the emotions, positive or negative. All the moments, new and old.

All the changes and even more beginnings that this journey holds for you. And that to receive you need only and simply to allow yourself. Allow yourself to find the courage for this first step only once.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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We could look at this opportunity from all the different perspectives. We could look at the future, at what it holds for you if you follow this path... But no matter the answers, the results, risks or successes, it will be all useless in front of the one and simple fact - this step is the one desired by your heart.

And even if you will leave this chance behind, after counting the pros and cons, even if time will pass and you will convince yourself that it was for the best and you weren't really ready.... it will still never leave your mind. How it could've been, what you would've experienced, if it would've changed your perception of this world, your life or who you are.

So listen to your heart for this one. Follow this desire. Not because it's the safe or the right one. But simply because it's exciting and new for you, and this is what already makes it worth the try.

You can enjoy things just for what they are, for the moment they create in your life. It doesn't necessarily need to be part of a bigger picture, a bigger plan. It can be just for now and just for you. Gifting you the emotions that you crave so much right now.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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"Rainy Season in the Tropics", 1866, Frederich Edwin Church

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[thatfrailsoul]

– Autumn's fallen leaves

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, )

"The princess out of school", Edward Robert Hughes

Each year, time and time again as their leaves fall, the trees show us their courage. Their incredible strength to let go of a part of them that no longer serves them. Even if it took them so long to nourish them and grow... They let go of everything, accepting and embracing this needed end. Gifting themselves a chance for a new beginning, full of growth and better health.

They are preparing now to do it once again. And as life and its cycles guides them... It tries to guide us too this time. It tries to help you... to let go of something. Something that is only weighting on your tired shoulders, slowing you down.

Take a deep breath, give yourself a needed moment of reflection and rest. Wander through this painting, through its details... Which one caughts more your gaze? To which part of the painting it belongs to? Pay attention - it is showing you where your message hides and awaits.

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These days have been... a little harsh on me. It was difficult to bring myself to fight it and endure it, even though I so desperately wanted to make it through. So this reading, these messages, speak right to my heart. Giving me a needed reminder and moment of reflection. And I hope it will help you too..♡

I had this reading in mind for a little while, but wasn't quite sure. At least until I've received a request from the kindest soul exactly about these same thoughts and concerns. It was the needed (gentle) push for me to do it, so I deeply thank the one who requested this reading.♡

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– Pile One,

the queen of swords, the emperor, the four of wands

There is so much control, so much presence within you, in the way you choose your life... But in that strength and power, if looked at closely, one can see the shades of fear, of desperate need...

Every little detail was already planned, analysed. Every outcome is expected, good or bad. Every path is already prepared so it can change its course in case of an obstacle or its end... Everything already leads to that one specific goal and outcome. The one that you imagined, perfectly pictured, for so long in your life... That it just can't be otherwise, it just can't pass you by. Not this one.

You are giving constantly to this so much work and intention, so much of your mind and heart, that even the slightest deviation feels like the whole world, your whole life, falling down.

You don't know what else you can do, how else you can make it more secure and successful, more perfect in your eyes... Or perhaps in the eyes of others... And it is consuming you, the pure stress and fear of just a thought that things might not work out.

It is all changing, shifting, day after day, in every area of your life. It is all evolving, and not really in a direction and way that you would've choose, in those that you would feel comfortable to be and live... And the only remaining thing, project and situation that is so important and indeed so powerful to give you back that control on your life, helping you to regain your balance back... Is becoming strange. Sometimes too slow, sometimes too sudden. Sometimes too stagnant or too confusing and dark. It is slowly but surely using all your back up plans, without slowing down, without showing you its horizon and its end... Making you afraid of the moment in which you won't simply have any other idea, opportunity or choice... While the path will continue to evolve, leaving you behind with that little that remains of yourself after all these sacrifices...

But is it really changing so much, this path? Is it really being ruined by everything you try? Or were you the one that made so many deviations trying to avoid all the obstacles and catastrophies that you thought you saw and needed to don't let closer to yourself?

Because there is an incredible power within you. Power of will, of hope, of patience and courage when it comes to protect yourself and your desires and dreams. A power strong enough to clear out a path as you will walk through it. But also... Enough to destroy it, if only you convinced yourself enough of it.

And this is something unique, not at all so easy to find in us, not so easy to learn and use. And when we, desperate and afraid, find this power within us... We tend to use it to protect ourselves from the obstacles and opponents of the outside, instead of using it against the thoughts and feelings inside our heart and head... that have much more power over our journey, its ups and downs, and sometimes their end.

This is indeed for you - this goal, this dream, this journey. It's not only you who wants this outcome, but that goal wants you too, that desire wants to be yours.

It is the right path, you are on the right path. It is the safe one for you, even if so many times you expected the worse and tried to flee.

There weren't any problems impossible to resolve, or obstacles too heavy to remove. There was only you who made a "mistake" of thinking that you never could be able to face those things or do them. There was only you who had so much passion and desire, conviction that it is for you, fused with that fear and uncertainty still present within you. There was just this mix of certainty and, ironically, confusion. The inner knowledge of what you want but confusion on how to get there, if you even could.

There was just this strong, incredibly powerful, courageous heart and mind. That, confused exactly like you, tried their best. Focusing more on avoiding and finding new routes. And not on showing you, teaching you, how you could've make it work regardless, following your original plan and decision, without sacrifices and changes that you felt forced to make.

Now it is already done. And it's just fine the way it is. It's not worse nor better. It wasn't the wrong way. It was just different. You tried and you felt it. You felt deep down in you that the way you chose again and again, perhaps was not quite the easiest one...

But now, today, in this moment, you have once again the possibility to choose how to do it. You have a chance to stay, to not run away. And to try to do your thing, how it feels right for you, and not how it seems more safe.

This journey is safe and right one for you, for who you want to become, regardless. So start to go through it with the same way that desired you would. Use your knowledge, your confidence, your power of choice. Not to avoid things, to escape and hide in hopes of finding another opportunity somewhere somehow... But to stay tall and strong and, gently, fight it. Showing this world, those people, this environment and to your own self, that things can and do work differently sometimes.

Showing and reminding all of you that it is not always the journey that changes us, but sometimes we are the ones to simply remember how much it means for us, without holding back. Without giving up.

P.s. Let me know if you chose this message and how it felt to you, if it resonated at all..♡

And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) you can find out more about it here!♡

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– Pile Two,

the four of cups, the queen of swords, the empress

It is quite easy to find, to constantly notice, all the things that are not working out no matter how hard you try. It is quite easy to remember all the things that you pictured, all the things that you so ardently wanted... and that never really manifested in your life.

It is easy to focus on them because it's so hard to ignore them. To ignore that pain, pressure, frustration that you feel in each moment of your life... when all you ever wanted was to just be safe, living a good and peaceful life.

So no one can tell you to don't do it. No one can have a say on how you should feel as you go through so many problems and challenges in your life now. But... Your heart and mind can and will still do it.

They will show their tiredness and sadness through the emptiness that you feel in your chest. Through the fog that is overwhelming your mind and making your thoughts so difficult to follow or find. They will show it to you, they will speak to you in the only way they can: a tired body, that doesn't have anymore the needed strength. The needed health.

And you know it. You already see it in the way you react less and less to this life. At least on the outside... Because you are still human, it still hurts, you still feel so many emotions that explode bottled up in your heart.

You are becoming calmer, in the eyes of others, but you are slowly destroying yourself from the inside. The only place were you used to feel and be safe, and that now is not anymore able to hide you from the reality of your life.

It is difficult, impossible, to ignore all of this... And you don't need to do it. But in the same way you shouldn't ignore those little, tiny, good things that are still present in your days either.

It might seem so useless, to try to focus on them, holding onto them so desperately when they are so few... But they are enough for your heart and mind that just need to know that there is light and warmth too. It is so little, but it is exactly what you need to find that strength again. To find that hope and simple knowledge that things can indeed be different. That it will not always be this way. That this is not the end...

Or perhaps it is. An end of this long and troubled phase of your life. An end of this tiring fear. Perhaps it is finally the moment of change. A shift that will start first within you. In that mind that will realise a one little but important thing: you don't need to choose between seeing life all in black or white, you can see it and feel it as it is. Complicated, different, strange... Just real.

A life that needs and gives importance to both things. A life that doesn't ignore. Exactly like you shouldn't. Not the bad things, that you just need to feel in order to be able to remember, overcome them and in the future avoid... And not with the good ones, that even if little, are still a demonstration of how things can and will be different. How they can and will transform.

You gave a lot of yourself to all your problems, challenges, obstacles on your path... But you gave so little credit to your strength, your patience, your own existence and everything that transformed you in the incredible soul that you are now.

A soul that perhaps, indeed, can't be the one to resolve it all... But that can still make it through.

Just don't ignore it. Don't ignore those good parts of your life or you that are still here, that are still relevant, that are still deserving of the same acknowledgment, attention and trust as the ones that you give to those negative and challenging parts of your life.

P.s. Let me know if you chose this message and how it felt to you, if it resonated at all..♡

And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) you can find out more about it here!♡

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[thatfrailsoul]

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I'm completely new to this beautiful platform, but in just a few days we became so many that I'm simply overjoyed!♡ I want, with every post and reading, to become better and better with this platform and make it as comfortable as possible to interact with my pick a pile readings. And for this reason I have a little question for you:

Thank you for helping me out!♡ Now let's return to our reading...

Slow down for a moment. Allow your heart to guide you, to tell you if there is really a message here for you and in which pile it hides... And whatever the answer is, feel free to listen to it or to let go. Remembering that whenever you will be ready or will have the need, your true message will find its way to you.♡

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Deep down you already know and feel it, what they see when they look at you, what they feel when they stand so close to you, when you are in the same room... You feel and know it because the reason you really saw them was the incredible intention, gentleness, interest in their every word and gesture towards you.

You saw them because of the different rhythm in their steps, a different tone hidden in their voice as they talked and smiled at you. And while you now feel so unsure, while you are so afraid of projecting only your desire and seeing in them much more that there really is...

They can't stay still, looking for the right way to come forward, being still so unsure that you might accept them and allow them to come closer, allow them to see and feel more of you and of your world.

Because even if you know so little for now about each other, the desire to understand more pulls you both in and closer. Creating an exciting possibility for more.

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Although it's not by mistake that you feel something subtly moving and shifting between you as you continue to spend time together and learn about each other more... It's not the right moment to allow your heart and mind to be overwhelmed by this idea, by this chance for something more.

You are much more similar than you can imagine now, you are both so familiar with the pain of a betrayed heart. And while you are trying to overcome it thanks to the hope that someone new might be completely different from others... They are trying to heal themselves by protecting and hiding this part of their soul.

They are not ready. Not only for you or for this possible connection, but in general to love and be loved again. Simply because it still deeply hurts.

And being so soon, something more is really uncertain in this future that still needs to be written. And that depends on how much and when their heart will be ready to overcome.

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[thatfrailsoul]

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P.s. See the full painting at the end!♡

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Slow down for a moment. Allow your heart to guide you, to tell you if there is really a message here for you... And whatever the answer is, feel free to listen to it or to let go. Remembering that when you will be ready or will have the need, your true message will find its way to you.♡

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For so long you took care of this connection, of this bond that each day grew between your hearts... You nourished each moment. You cherished each smile. And you worked hard to protect everything, from your own heart.

A heart that felt so safe, so accepted, so understood... that fell slowly and gently for them, for a person that knows this connection as something different from the one your heart more and more desperately wants.

Time passes, and the line between the reality of this connection and that more that you want becomes confusing. Harder to be aware of, once you are by their side. Harder to maintain, in this constant battle of respecting their boundaries, but also the calling of your feelings that veil your logic mind.

And you will not resist for much longer, under the pressure of this feeling, but also anxiety and fear of ruining everything, creating inevitably a wall between you... You feel already your limit, so close and heavy both on your mind and heart. You see it in the way it influences your connection, your ways towards them that start to change... But you don't see that they already know everything and understand as well.

As you discovered these feelings, learning so much more about the power of your heart, they saw it all, being always so close to you, knowing so well your soul. They saw it, they learned about it day by day as you were going through it, trying to hide it from their sight.

But you never spoke about it, you hid it, pretending that everything is okay and well. And they played along with it, knowing that you will find the courage sooner or later, and that they can wait.

And this moment is here, it's time to be open about what overwhelms your heart. Simply because otherwise you will explode, with all the feelings bottled up deep down and ignored in hopes that it will resolve on its own.

Even if you fear to ruin everything, even if you fear to loose them, even if they already know what is going on... You need to tell it. To allow your heart to speak up finally and freely, accepting fully your own feelings, accepting their reality by letting them flow out of you. You need to tell the truth.

Because you are good at hiding, but they are so good at seeing you for who you are. Because there is a reason why, knowing all fully, they still waited and stayed by your side. And it's simply because they know you, they see you, they feel you. And they already accepted your heart.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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You both always knew that this connection was meant to be so different, much deeper than what it became because of the constant challenges of your life. You both know it, you always felt it, that pull that brought you to each other in that first day, first moment that you crossed your gaze and recognised a familiar heart.

But as time passed, as things became difficult, the situation too heavy and overwhelming, your conviction became weaker, changing the decision of your hearts. You followed both the logic, you both chose to protect yourselves, your lives, from a connection that seemed to only challenge it. But even if this was the right decision, it doesn't mean that there can't be any doubts or wanders, that your hearts can't miss eachother, like it is happening right now, after all this time.

It's natural to miss eachother, to come back to that decision, now that your life feels much more safer and calmer. Once you have finally that balance and the things you needed and desired, missing only that person that you never truly left behind.

It is natural to feel that calling once again, to see those memories and precious moments. And to wander if that was really the end or if there might be a second chance.

And indeed your story didn't end, it was only starting, and so many moments that are yet to be created and lived, were put on hold. Giving you both time and space to take control over your lives again. Giving you the opportunity to grow, to learn, to change in the way you face a challenge, in the way you hold onto what is really important for your soul.

There isn't any risk in coming forward now, there isn't any shame in looking for them once again. Not if this is what your heart calls for. Not if you finally feel ready to answer those questions that scared you so much back then.

A connection as the one you feel to them it's not imaginary, they felt and feel it too, it's real. And in the same way, after all this time, it still has a place in your heart and life - it does in theirs too. Those feelings that are waking up in you again, never went to sleep in their heart, that still wanders and waits for you.

We all make mistakes, we all feel at least once confused and overwhelmed. We all know too well the need to escape, hide, to protect ourselves. As well as the regret of harming someone that never doubted, contrary to our heart and mind that needed some rest. And they know it, they knew it from the very start. This is why they let you go when you run away.

They knew from experience, they recognised that overwhelming fear and tiredness that they too once felt. And they knew that you were strong enough to overcome it. They knew that it would be worth it, to believe in you and in the right moment that will give your story another chance.

They still remember you, they still wait, they would still welcome you. Because that tenderness and true affection, never really goes away.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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Letting go of each other back then wasn't the only solution, the only option. There were many things that could've been done differently to save a connection that was so important for your hearts, for you and them, no matter how challenging it was starting to become. But the fact that it was possible to do more, doesn't mean that your decision was in the end a wrong one.

And you know it, you understand it very well now when you look back at everything that was happening, and everything that you faced and worked hard on in this period of time. You see and feel that it was all worth it, that it was the right decision to prioritise the health of your heart and mind. But you can't help but wonder, if they still feel the same. If they too have still that desire for more that you weren't able to create.

But what you are longing for is something that is already in the past, in those memories of moments and connection that you left behind. It's only in those hearts and minds of you and them that still didn't make that decision, that still had those chances to resolve everything if only they had enough patience and courage to try.

But time has passed, and while you were growing they grew up too. They had the same realisations, they gained the same understanding of what could've been if only you both tried more. And how, even if it was the right thing to be honest about each other's limits and letting go... It did change everything, being apart. It did influence those feelings, for which you both didn't fight hard enough.

It left you both with tenderness and affection for someone that you loved. Someone that you once already let go of, and that you need now to allow to continue on their path, while you continue on your own.

It is always a shame, to know what you missed, to feel the desire to try again now that you understand more, but being unable to do so. But what your decision gave you, that chance for your own self and the journey that you needed to do on your own... Is worth it. And it's enough to keep moving forward, leaving these doubts, wanders and decisions in the past, where they belong.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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"The Proposal", William - Adolphe Bouguereau, 1872

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[thatfrailsoul]

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P.s. See the full painting at the end!♡

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Slow down for a moment. Allow your heart to guide you, to tell you if there is really a message here for you... And whatever the answer is, feel free to listen to it or to let go. Remembering that when you will be ready or will have the need, your true message will find its way to you.♡

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Not every single opportunity and chance, no matter how good they are, needs to be taken and accepted into your life. Even if you wanted it for so long. Even if you waited. Even if you worked so hard for it before feeling this shift in your heart... You don't owe nothing to noone, but your own self and what simply feels right for you now.

There is nothing wrong in pursuing something and then discover that you are not really ready for this step now. It is okay to try it, and then realize that it's different from what you pictured in your mind.

It is fine and safe to don't take this chance, allow it to pass, leaving it to someone else. Because it is not the first nor last one. And even if it is - this shouldn't be the only reason you go for it in the first place.

We are complex, we constantly grow and change, feel so many different things, have so many ideas... And if by the time this opportunity came you just don't feel about it the same way anymore... It is okay.

Don't force yourself, if you already feel deep down that it's something that you don't want. Don't judge yourself only because you changed your mind and chose something that attracts you more now. You won't miss on anything, nor will you betray someone or yourself. You will just choose one journey instead of another, exactly like this life it's supposed to be.

And this opportunity will go to someone that feels like it's the right one for them, who will feel ready and truly excited about it. Leaving in your life more space for something that aligns with what you feel and crave now. For a different path, for a new beginning. Because it is not the end of this world or your life, it is only an end of a phase. And it's absolutely fine this way.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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There is nothing wrong in standing your ground, in protecting your life, who you are. There is nothing wrong in not allowing others to change this aspect of you, of the way you see and feel this life. It is always and only should be up to you, to write your story, and to mold it adopting to new phases of your life.

Don't judge yourself, don't feel sorry for speaking up. Because if it's important for you, it should be important for others close to you too. And it shouldn't be a matter of if they allow you to live and embody this part of you or not. It should be only about whether they understand and accept your heart.

And if they don't... It is deeply sad, but it is right. It is right to protect yourself and walk away, from those that only love and support you when you do the things in their way.

It will be fine. You will make it through. You will find those that notice you and cherish you exactly for this part of you. And as time will pass... Even they will understand it. Seeing how much they lost when walking away you took from their life this part of you too. And finally understanding how much they were asking you to lose of you.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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Life is all about the experience. About experiencing different moments, trying different ideas, feeling so many emotions... Until we find the right ones for us, until we find out who we are and who we want to become. Life is all about trying, making mistakes, understanding that it's not for us and trying again. It's not about judging yourself for your progress, for your "luck", for the way our heart and mind change their decisions so often or so fast. Because there is nothing wrong with that, there is nothing wrong with living this way.

Because it is exactly how our journeys are supposed to be so we can truly feel it and understand it. The effect things have on your heart or our mind. Because you are not wrong, not committed, not intelligent, stable or mature... you are just a human who is growing each day. And that does it in the most natural way.

Don't try to limit yourself, your character, your emotions and ideas, the courage that you have to try. Because it's what makes you - you. It is what is molding you in the person that you are supposed to be, through all the experiences and answers, realisations, that it gives you each time.

Don't judge yourself only because others do. Life is different, experiences are infinite, and the way to go through them and live them depends only and exclusively on what we feel in our heart and the rhythm with which it chooses to pound for what makes it feel alive.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

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"In the Garden of the Palazzo Colonna in Rome", 1867, Ludwig Von Hagn

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