#too fucking tired for this
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#too fucking tired for this#I have a cold and fever and sore throat I don't want to have to deal with this anxiety right now#swedish unemployment service can go fuck itself once again#was put in a program through an agency half a year ago or so that does work-training etc#a few weeks ago there was a re-organization with the agency getting disbanded and everything moved to a different agency#and somewhere in that move I've once again been lost and forgotten as fucking usual#my program should have been renewed so I could keep doing work-training but now it might get renewed too late so I end up with#a few-weeks long gap before it's approved. Which could cost me my already very slim unemployment benefits/money#the poor worker I got hold of is trying her best to help me but it might already be too late to save without getting a gap#and I'm literally not allowed to come in to work until this is solved as the agency responsible for the program doesn't allow it#due to insurance reasons. and going against that might just disqualify me from participating in the training-program altogether#so tomorrow I'm gonna have to call work and tell them that sorry I won't come into work next week and I don't know when I'm allowed back#and desperately hope they'll allow me back once everything has been renewed despite being forced to abruptly leave like that#and I just want to crawl into a hole and rot#just needed to ramble somewhere and I'm not opening discord again anytime soon I can't handle that whole shit as well rn#delete later
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drew that short italian guy from dragon age you guys like
#uuuuuuugh i dont like it i spent too much time working on and looking at this my eyes are so fucking tired#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age#my art
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Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.
For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.
I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.
#i have to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night to even barely function#with sleep#getting ready for work#commute#cooking#and errands#I typically have maybe 2-3 hours to actually do what i want in a day#and I'm usually too tired to actually do the things i want to do#and that's with a very short commute#if i actually had a long commute I'd basically do nothing but work#i see my friends like once every few weeks or months#because we're all so fucking busy with work and have such little time for socialising#and none of us even have kids or anything!!
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i'm sorry but i don't think we should call this the "autism website" when there's still posts with tons of notes mocking people who:
struggle with social skills / have anxiety around social settings
are unemployed / unable to work certain jobs
have intense or "age-inappropriate" interests
haven't had certain life experiences that are deemed universal/essential
struggle with personal hygiene
don't have any friends or dating experience
don't go outside much or at all
take things literally / don't get sarcasm/jokes
have unusual ways of speaking
generally aren't "normal"
#+ other things i'm probably forgetting rn#i know most of these apply to other disabilities too but i wanted to focus on autism bc of all the 'autism website' stuff#it's genuinely disturbing to see someone go 'lol autism website'#and then in the next breath be like 'omg look at this loser who [literal symptom of autism]'#but i guess when these people talk about autism they don't mean actual autism#but the tiktok style 'just a bit quirky but still able to assimilate into abled hegemony with ease' autism#i'm just tired of the hypocrisy#autism acceptance month is over now it's time for autism wrath month#being disabled on tumblr can be fucking awful sometimes. might take a break for a while bc i just don't have the energy to deal with it#autism#actually autistic#actuallyautistic
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"karasu search how 2 cheer human up"
"karasu search difference between sad human and zoning out human"
"karasu search how long is it safe for humans to zone out for?"
(+ a longer look at each scene:)
#art#gif#obey me#this was meant to be a quick test. it was not quick. i think this is was the longest i've spent on drawing something since rolling ik#for some reason procreate keeps fucking up the colours on export and i'm too tired to figure out how to make it stop#can you tell that satan and lucifer were animated first?#funnily enough satan showing ik his book was pretty simple but lucifer walking was like. impossible. he kept turning out fucked up#i was so worn out by the end of it that everyone else's animations are way simpler#(the walk still doesn't look right but i've made peace with that.... i should've done some tutorials or smth first)#(such is my hubris: when i try to do new art things it's mainly by brute-forcing my way through it and hoping it works)#jtta ik#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#anyway i'd like to experiment more with trying to animate things in future so!! look forward to that?
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first 10 days of jurassic june! i'm slow with it but still going ;__;
#drawing marine creatures is really challenging for me#but water render is surprisingly fun#i'm getting a bit tired but i still wanna finish all promts WAHHHH#doing this so im too busy to think about how fucked my life is rn lol#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr#paleoart#paleoland#jurassic june
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GIVE THESE BOYS A WEEKEND YAOI FISHING TRIP !! GAT DAMN!! i actually have so many thoughts about Big getting Shadow into fishing istg im gonna make a whole comic on it im in too deep
#you guys gotta fucking help me#WHERE MY SHABIG NATAION AT HUH?? HUH??#im so tired#sth#sonic#big the cat#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x shadow generations#shabig#my art#i will take over the world with the power of shabig just you fucking wait#bigadow#shabig is way funnier of a name#they can also just be besties too!!
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Viktor and Jinx team-up would be goated, but alternatively...
#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season2#arcane season two#viktor arcane#arcane viktor#sevika#arcane sevika#i need to see how dommy mommy lesbian talks to zaun jesus#i fucking LOVE sevika#also her stance in the full body pic has me...#too tired to do full render#have gradient map
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Haven’t finished the game yet did this happen
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#isat bonnie#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#my art#long absence and I’m back with a fucking meme#sorry I’ve been busssyyyyy#and tired too#also I actually haven’t finished the game yet so please don’t spoil anything thankss
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a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.
shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.
I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other
#hell o void#hell o hadal#disabled#disability#invisible disability#nuerodivergent#nuerodiversity#mental health#agoraphobia#depression#anxiety#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#autistic#autism#i know this applies to more people but i am too tired to think of more tags and i really need to stop posting and do other things#but this is something i struggle with constantly and cant get over so#about#it hurts even more knowing that my friends who have done this are also disabled#like.... what do you mean they can overcome their disabilities and have lives why the fuck cant i do that
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he's squeaky toy. to me.
#aough i love him so much....#i will never be able to recreate this style/design i already know#my love for him is so great that it renders me unable to draw him consistently#it took all of my willpower not to clutter this with heart scribbles#himhimhimhimhimhimhimhimhim-#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#scribble garnish#welcome home fanart#welcome home wally#wally darling#NOOOOOO I MADE HIS CARDIGAN TOO DARK. FUCK#itsfineitsfineitsfine No One Will Notice#sigh. anyway...#i love his lil ascot and bizarre hair and cat smile and-#i have decided to put Slightly More Effort into my doodles. i think it might be worth it#even if the sun is up and my wrist hurty and im tired. i have been drawing for hours und hourz#and putting that right after more hours und hourz of crocheting? Ouch My Tendons
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#i cant do this#girl interrupted#hell is a teenage girl#actually mentally ill#black swan#nina sayers#female hysteria#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lana del rey#the virgin suicides#im so tired#im just a girl#lizzy grant#lana stan#i am losing my mind#blogger.com#girl blogger#i care too much#norman fucking rockwell#coquette#speak#real
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Your "non-confrontational" choices not to communicate hurt the people you don't confront btw. You're not a martyr for keeping everything inside and then running away when other people don't know what's going on with you. You just decided avoiding rejection and sparing your own feelings was easier than being honest and giving them the agency to respond and make their own decisions. You chose to hurt them so they didn't hurt you. You think your feelings are realer and more important than their own care and love for you. You were always just waiting for a sign to run.
"If they cared about me they would have–" did you tell them that? Did you let them know how you feel? How much importance you place on those requirements they don't know they have to meet? This secret criteria and secret signs for your secret feelings? Or are you making them play a game they don't know even exists?
Your choice not to communicate isn't cute. You didn't run because they didn't feel the same for you. You ran so you wouldn't have to risk rejection. You chose to prioritise your own self-protection over their trust in and love for you. At least own that.
#vent post#i'm having enough of non-confrontational people in my life atm#im tired of paying the price for their emotional cowardice#i'm too neurodivergent for this shit#either spell it out or fuck off#nice to know how much all my love and care and loyalty is worth#personal#knee of huss#relationships#toxic relationship
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ouchies
#I’m tired as fuck#dsmp#my art#fanart#art#no more tags#too tired#song is just for vibe I’ve been obsessed and I miss sharing musica…sniffle
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"Don't worry, Bae. I'll protect you!" OH, I BET!!
#what do you mean? I'm not currently in my feelings about these two#yes i am that was a fucking lie right there#I'M TIRED OF THIS BUT THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD!!#just kiya's thoughts#sk8#sk8 the infinity#reki kyan#kyan reki#langa hasegawa#hasegawa langa#renga#lanreki
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The Magician - Dorian Pavus
#DORIAN TAROT YAHAHAHA#look i know im like 10 years late to the party but....#ive decided the best thing to do about my burgeoning dorian obsession is to just feed it#new meow meow alert sorry guys#i have a specific vision for his fuck ass haircut#ive never done anything like this before but im really chuffed with how it turned out#god bless river from a week ago that decided to download brushes#im gonna make one for virgil too and maybe bull if i dont tire myself out#also i started a playlist for dorian cause i need relevant music when im painting#dorian pavus#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#dai#dragon age fanart#dai fanart#tarot#my art#ok anyways love u bye :-)
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