#told him and my sister they should hold up for tub time since i used a really high quality acrylic paint and the clay is waterproof

[makenna-made-this]

My Bebe Nephew is obsessed with the Puffin Rock cartoon and you would not believe how hard it is to find little puffin figurine toys, so for his bday I made him a custom set out of sturdy poly clay. (Fudged the baby puffling's colors a bit to match his fav character in the show shhh don't take my Bird Nerd license from me :P)

[jamasauruos-blog]

Story time. How my Ed started.

Since this is kinda like a diary for me. I’m gonna post about how my Ed started.

I was roughly about 9 maybe… idk my childhood was quite the blur. I was living w my mom at the time in hartwell ga. She had a few boyfriends since my dad had been gone. This one tho was violent n drunk n controlling. He may have done other drugs too. I vaguely remember seeing lil plastic bags w twist ties on their bedroom floor. At the time I was too young to know what it really was.

Back then my mom could hold down a job. But one night he had gotten mad n when my mom came out of the bedroom the next morning, her face was bruised. A black eye n a busted lip to match. She had tried to use make up to “even out” the black eye but it didn’t really work.

He hated that she was so nice to ppl at her work (I think she worked at a Murphy gas station). She was the kind of southern woman who called everyone “honey, sweat heart, darling ,ect”. N that was everyone. No matter if you were a young man or an old granny. But couldn’t stand it. He would actually sit at her job n watch her.

I think that’s one of the things that lead to the fight that night. Bc she didn’t go to work. He had gotten what he wanted; she quit her job out of embarrassment. She didn’t want ppl to see her. After this is when shit got bad.

Since my mom wasn’t working, he needed to find work. He found a job at a rock quarry n the bonus part was they had a house that could be rent free all we’d have to do is pay electric n water. Sounds awesome right!!! That is until i saw the house. The first impression I got was disturbing. There was no front door so a dog had made that his shelter. He slept on a mattress in the entrance. When he came out of the house he was sick looking. His skin was red in splotches covered in scabs. My mom said he had a skin disease called mange.

I thought to my self “gross this is gonna be my home?”. Me n my sisters refer to the house as the cement house bc that’s what the house was made of. Looking back this place was so gross. The floors were solid stone like the floors you’d see in sams. All the walls were made of cement blocks. It was a cold home. I distinctly remember there was no “normal shower”. The tub was gross. When you tried to run the water discolored mess would come up from the drain. But we made it work like always. We got one of those storage containers n stood in that for the tub. N as for the water (cause I don’t think there was a shower head just to spout) uuuuugh well we used a water hose. If you were the lucky one you got your shower first. Bc in the beginning there was 5 seconds of warmth. The water that was sitting in the hose all day was so warm. But the cold water soon snapped you back to reality.

I hated showers. I would try to do just my hair bc I didn’t want to be shivering all over. O wash my body while cupping water in my hands. I think one day my mom got a lil frustrated w me n she took control. This time it wasn’t slow n easy. Her way was to rip it off like a band aid. I hated her bc now I was shaking but relieved that it was over.

In that house is where to bad stuff started. One night while me n my two sisters were sleeping he came in n dragged me out on a blanket, half asleep. When we got to his destination, he started his work. He told me I was beautiful n that if I had sex w him then he would give me anything I wanted. He begged n pleaded while running his hands over my body. I was in shock like what did I even do. Then he proceeded. When he touched me w his “thing”, I jumped up. Thinking time was over. I needed to get away from him.

There were other times past that but I won’t get into details. I didn’t know what to do. Should I tell me mom? Or should keep it a secret? I didn’t know where we would live. In my mind it was this situation or be homeless. So I decided to keep it a secret.

Fast forward a few years n I still hadn’t talked to anyone about it. A friend here n there but not anyone who knew how to help me. My anxiety continued to grow. I became fearful of men. What were they thinking? Did they look at me in a sexual way? Were they secretly planning something? Going to the store was different now. Waiting in doctors office was nerve wracking. Teachers, uncles, n so much more were scary. I soon thought well they must be looking at my butt o boobs but if I lost them then I would be safer. I wanted to look stick thin. I wanted no more curves. Soon this ideal body was my new idea of beauty.

N that’s how the Ed started. Now when I relapse it’s not bc I’m scared of the men. Its more I need that figure. Bc that is what beauty really is.

For anyone who made it till the end comment your experience. Why did your Ed start?

[rere-the-writer]

Title- Mikaelsons and a baby : part 4

Warnings- Fluff, A bit of Angst, Overly protective Mikaelsons, Violence

Summary- You and Rebekah are forced to go home after having to leave for the safety of you and baby Hope.

You followed after Rebekah shivering as you held your daughter close after the cabin you both were staying in was attacked and Rebekah told you there was no choice but to take you and Hope back to New Orleans. It was cold in New Orleans as you had no time to pack nor get dress as you were in dressed in pajamas and slippers.

"Beka, what if the boys be angry?"

"They'll understand, my love."

"Y/N? Rebekah?" Elijah questioned seeing you and Rebekah on the street as he was walking with Hayley. Elijah frowned seeing you shivering and took off his coat wrapping you and Hope in it.

"Mother found us." Rebekah answered Elijah as you squeaked when Elijah picked you up bridal style.

"How? We made sure that you three wouldn't be found."

"I know but she sent something after us." Rebekah said smoothing out your hair as Hayley noticed how the two seemed to try to hide you and Hope. You had arrived at the Abattoir and was placed in front of a fire as Kol cuddled up to you.

"So our mother knows of our child."

"It seems so Niklaus." Elijah says running his fingers over your cheek before moving though your hair. Hayley seemed annoyed that you were back as she was trying to get closer to Elijah.

"Can I sleep with Nik tonight? I'm kinda cold."

"Of course baby." Elijah says kissing your head as Klaus moved to take you upstairs. Hope was placed in a bassinet near the bed as Klaus smiled feeling you snuggled closer.

"I missed you,Nik."

"I missed you too beloved." Klaus said softly kissing your head when you jumped feeling Elijah slipped in behind you.

"Elijah?"

"Niklaus thought us both should warm you up." Elijah said rubbing your arms feeling both of your furnaces of lovers you smiled snuggling in their arms. Morning came as you woke on top of Elijah and saw Klaus rocking Hope gently talking to her.

"You are my most precious girl so is your mother. I vow to protect you both Always and Forever."

"What if I want to protect you?"

"That is adorable, love. But Elijah and I would die before you are harmed." Klaus says watching you slide off Elijah who woke with a groan rolling onto his side burying his face in your side. Klaus passed Hope to you so you could feed the baby girl.

"So why is your mother after us?"

"Trying to get us to allowing her to put us in witch's bodies. And thanks to Hayley, mother knows of you and Hope."

"What did she do?"

"Mother thought Hayley and I were dating and darling Hayley didn't correct her so I had too." Elijah muttered sitting up as Kol came in flopping next to you smiling at you.

"You are beautiful in the morning." Kol says as you flushed looking at Hope feeling Elijah rubbing your back while Klaus was drawing you a bath.

"I agree. Kol isn't motherhood just gorgeous on her?"

"It is Elijah." Kol said smirking see your flush getting worst and gently Elijah took Hope from you and Kol took you to the bath.

"Guys, I can d...."

"Shhhh love. Let us take care of you." Klaus says moving behind the tub washing your hair while Elijah was cooing at Hope.

"Good morning."

"Goodmorning Rebekah....Hayley." Elijah said as Rebekah looked between the two with narrowed eyes before heading into the bath to kiss you goodmorning. Hayley looked to Elijah seeing Hope smiling at him wrapping her small hand around his finger.

"So are you still angry with me?"

"Yes Hayley. You gave to realize I am faithful to Y/N." Elijah says smiling softly at Hope placing a kiss on her little hand. Hayley huffed crossing her arms annoyed that you had came home as she liked Elijah and was hoping that he could like her back.

"Look Hope, there is your mother." Elijah cooed holding up the baby as you flushed see the pure adoration on Elijah's face as Hope squealed happily seeing you.

"You guys act like I showed you heaven." You say gently taking Hope as Kol kissed your cheek.

"You gave us our greatest gift and been so brave. So you are our heaven." Your face burn brightly as Kol chuckled they could hear you heart beating fast. They got you and Hope some breakfast happy to have you home.

"Your crazy aunt wants our baby?" You asked rocking the rocking chair you were in feeding Hope with a bottle giving your breast have a break. After the fall of Esther, a new theat, your lover's aunt Dahlia was apparently coming for your child.

"A untapped Enchantress had Klaus's baby?"

"Eli?" You asked confused as the blonde with was unfamiliar while your lovers were a bit surprised.

"This is our older sister Freya. Our mother made a deal with Dahlia to have children and Freya had been taken."

"This untapped Enchantress stuff?"

"I sense the magic coming from you which if Dahlia can, she'll try and take Y/N also." Freya tells everyone as Klaus growled lowly as the idea of you and Hope being taken from them was something that he wasn't going to tolerate.

"And you brought this danger to our door."

"It wouldn't have mattered. Dahlia would know about Hope." Freya said as you frowned burping Hope. Rebekah stayed close along with Kol not liking this new development.

"So what do we do?"

"We kill her and I will help you."

You were in hiding with Hayley and she raised an eyebrow seeing you putting some kind of mixture of salt and sage down the doorways and windows.

"What are you doing?"

"My grandmother would make this mixture of salt and sage to keep witches out and I thought she was crazy but learning all now my childhood makes sense." You tell Hayley getting up getting Hope.

"Hello my dear, I am here for what is mine." You froze hearing Dahlia and turned holding Hope as Hayley glared at the witch.

"Dahlia."

"I take it Freya has told you about me. Seeing how the magic from both child and mother is quite strong." Dahlia said moving forward stopping feeling a burning sensation and stepped back.

"An Enchantress barrier. Tapping in to unused magic."

"You can't have my little Hope."

"Why worry for child when you have a second babe growing within you." Dahlia's words made you freeze as you didn't know as Hayley stared then looked at Dahlia ready to fight the witch.

"Why don't you try to get in and see how well you stand against a hybrid."

"Sweet of you to allow such....beastly woman that holds such affections for Elijah near you or your family."

"I'll return for what is mine."

You were neverous as Klaus plan was to use Esther to stop Dahlia and you had never let Hope out of your sight since your run in with Dahlia. Rebekah sat next to you letting Hope play with her hand.

"Are you sure this will work?"

"Of course Elijah. Besides it is to protect our love and Hope."

"What about the second baby?" Hayley asked making all four Mikaelsons freeze as you swallowed when Hayley realized you hadn't told them yet.

"Y/N hadn't told you what Dahlia told her." Hayley breathed as the vampires tune into you listening for a small second heartbeat.

"How?"

"Let's worry about that after we kill our aunt." Klaus said kissing your head the Hope's as he passed to met Marcel to protect you. Elijah smiled kissing your hand as Rebekah kissed your cheek.

"We'll come back safe and sound, baby." Elijah says as Kol kissed your forehead as they left. You sat waiting hoping that they were alright and saw them walk in a bit rough looking but in one piece.

"Oh you're alright." You said hugging Kol and Rebekah as they hugged back smiling softly.

"I told you we'll come home safe and sound." Elijah said kissing your head making you smile.

"Let's get some rest." Klaus said getting everyone upstairs while passing Hope bassinet, you check up on her. Your lovers joined you in bed their hands falling on your abdomen falling asleep happy that you and Hope safe and now a new little one was on the way.

[paisholotus]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 4

I walked into the bathroom setting towels on the sink. Turning on the tub faucet I made sure the water wasn't to hot for the kids. They took the news the best way I think they could, they did cry and asked alot of why questions. Some answers I couldn't give. But what I can say is Tommy has not left their side since, he's met them. When I told the kids that Tommy was their Father, they immediately knew. But they was angry and confused, because how do you tell children their father just so happens to come back from the dead, or he wasn't really dead for that matter.

But again I explained everything the best way I could, there was tears running down my cheeks as Tommy held on to my hand. Tommy told them if he knew about them, he would have never abandoned them. He told them that he loved me and hated he missed out on their birth, birthdays, holidays, etc.

He told them that from today forward he would never leave us, and that he loved us. Him saying that made them smile, causing Alex to climb into his lap giving him a hug. Tommy hugged both Alex and Nova leaning over kissing the side of my head.

I called the kids in the bathroom so they could take their bath, and get ready for bed. A few minutes later Tommy came in holding Nova while Alex held Tommy's fingers leading them into the bathroom. My heart melted looking at them bond, Alex sheepishly wiped his eyes and yawned. "Mama, daddy was telling us a story." He whined, pouting. I smiled pulling him over to the tub, starting to undress him. "Mommy's sorry baby. But daddy can tell you all the stories you want when you get out the tub." I said, giving him kisses all over his face.

I placed him in the tub and looked to Tommy to give me Nova. She looked at me and giggled hiding into her father's neck. I crossed my arms giving her a stern playful look, "come on, little mama. It's bath time." I said. Tommy whispered something in her ear, causing me to stare at the two suspiciously. She got out of her father's arms and walked towards the tub, so I could undress her.

I squinted my eyes at Tommy, asking him with my eyes what he told her. He smirked at me shrugging. Tommy had surely changed but alot of things have stayed the same. He may look cold to others, but to me he was still my Bubba.

Tommy walked over and sat on the toilet, watching me baze them. I chuckled watching Alex move side to side trying to stay awake. Tommy got off the toilet and sat on the floor with me, helping me baze Nova. I glanced at Tommy watching him carefully wash her hair, my heart clenched as I watched the pair.

Tears welled in my eyes as I turned away to finish up Alex. It should have always been like this. Eating dinner together, giving our kids baths, reading them bed time stories. I sniffed quickly wiping my nose. "Mommy you ok?" Alex asked, sleepily. I nodded kissing his head, "yeah, mama's fine, baby. Come on let's get you dry and in bed."

Tommy and I take the kids out the tub, dry them off and carry them into my room. I put on their clothes and got out their hair stuff, so I could moisturize their hair. After doing their hair I put on their bonnets, Alex likes to wear a bonnet like his sister. Jo and my uncle pick at me for it but I don't care. If my baby wanna wear a bonnet he Can! "Mama is daddy gon check for monsters." Nova asked. I smiled and looked to Tommy. He picked her up and kissed her cheek, "of course I will, little darling." I picked up Alex carrying him into their room.

They was sharing the bed for the time being. which wasn't a problem for me, because even if they had separate beds or separate rooms I would always find them sleeping together. Even when they were babies, it was a difficulty trying to separate those two. They was inseparable. They would cry in their sleep if they were sleeping together and one of them couldn't feel the other.

Tommy checked under their bed and read them bed time stories. "Good night my babies." I said, kissing their heads. "Good night mama, good night daddy." Tommy leaned down kissing Alex's head, "good night my băiatul meu." Then kissed Nova on her head, "good night my draga mea." They smiled and hugged each other, drifting to sleep.

We walked out of the room, quietly shutting the door, walking into my room. Tommy wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. "Seeing you and them....it's like a fookin dream." I chuckled nodding. "I can slap you like old times if you like." I suggest as Tommy turns me around to face him, him giving one of his signature smirks. "Wouldn't you rather me slapping something else." He said lowly, softly gripping my ass. My body quickly warms up and I shyly look away, pushing him away walking to the closet. Causing him to give a genuine laugh. I missed his laugh. His eyes. His touch. His smell. I just missed him in general.

I bit my lip trying to stop my legs from rubbing together, I haven't had the touch of a man since Tommy. And I know it's hard to believe for others but I couldn't love anyone other than Tommy, let alone let another man touch me.

He walked into the closet grabbed my cheeks and kissed me. He smirks into the kiss as I wrapped my arms around his neck, moaning into his mouth. I wanted him so bad, it's like my body was reacting on its own. He pushed me against the wall lifting my legs around his waist. "I've missed you Bubba." I whispered drawing back from the heated kiss.

"I've missed you too, my Yuna." He says. As he rested his forehead against mine. "Thank you for today." I said smiling up at him, with tears in my eyes again. Seems like I've been a big Ole cry baby today.

Tommy cupped my cheeks pecking my lips, "There's no need to thank me. I would do anything for them. For you." He said, smiling at me. "I love you, Tommy." I said softly. He put my legs down kissing my forehead, "and I love you, my Mea. Never stopped and I never will." My heart felt like it wanted to explode. We kissed one last time before I got my clothes ready for bed and walked into the bathroom closing the door.

[bigfan-fanfic]

Spooky Season Special: Until Dawn (Male!Reader x Chris)

Prologue: Bystander

-One Year Ago-

Let's just say, you had been shocked when Beth Washington winked at you and slipped a sparkly envelope into your hand. Hannah had gotten overzealous with the glitter glue again, and it was a wild mess that had held your invitation to Blackwood Pines for the annual winter getaway party weekend hosted by the Washington siblings.

Mike and Emily had grinned when you told them, which was gratifying. To tell the truth, you had never felt like anything more than a satellite to the group. They all seemed so tight with each other, and all you really knew were Mike and Em. Mike because he'd been your best friend since you were toddlers, and Em since she was Mike's girlfriend and you both shared multiple advanced courses. Even despite him being athletic and your typical big man on campus, Mike had been at your side for years, even when your interests diverged. You even helped make posters for his class president campaign in your spare time, which he joked made you responsible for his victory.

But still, you never really considered yourself part of that group until Beth handed you the invitation. You had only really hung out with the group on occasion, but you knew what it was really about.

Damn Mike. He had told Beth about your crush on Chris. He or Emily had. And now they were going to play matchmaker. You weren't about to let that happen, but you figured this was your ticket to making more friends and hanging out with Mike more. ...And Chris.

And really, partying with the Washingtons was fun. Who gets to go up to a HUGE lodge in the mountains only accessible by cable car? Even the vaguely sinister sensation of being trapped couldn't undo your feeling that you were now part of an exclusive gang. You ended up on the cable car with Ashley and Sam, who immediately drew you into a conversation (Sam protested playfully when Ashley turned the conversation to a book she was reading about ghosts) and the fun began.

There was the requisite teasing of Sam as she went upstairs to take a luxurious bath in the Washingtons' simply enormous tub in the master bathroom ("Try not to use all the hot water this time, Sam!" from Beth and a "Hardy-har" from Sam as a retort.)

It started out simple enough. Hannah and Matt brought down some board games from a closet and you all began playing. At one point someone suggested Jenga and everyone held their breath as you watched the tower wobble...

Don't Move. .. . .. . .. . .. .... .. ..... ... .. .... .. .. .. .... .. . . . .

...and you finally breathed again when it was certain the tower wouldn't collapse. And then, of course, Josh and Chris arrived on Emily's turn, and she promptly knocked over the wooden blocks. She complained a little, but clearly was happy the group was all together.

Chris and Josh promptly forced open the liquor cabinet and led a toast to old friends, and lifted a glass to you and added "and to new friends!" Beth, ever-responsible, gave a disapproving look at her older brother and passed around cream sodas instead. But really, only you, Sam, and Beth chose to remain sober. Chris and Josh started a drinking game by singing the Pokerap from the Pokemon anime and drinking whenever they got the words wrong, and quickly started devolving into drunken messes. Mike and Emily started making out, and Sam was catching up with Ashley and Matt - Jessica was talking to Hannah.

Beth invited you up to her room to watch Pride and Prejudice on the new TV she had gotten in there, but really, it was just a pretext. You knew it the moment the movie started playing and Beth looked over at you. "So... Chris, huh?"

Secretive - "What about him?" Exasperated - "Ugh, Mike told you?"

Beth grinned apologetically. "Emily, actually. But don't worry, I won't blab. I think it's cute. And hey, I'm here for you."

You smiled a little. It might actually be good to have more friends you can talk to about this. When you told Mike you liked boys, and that you liked Chis, he had teased you about having a hunk of prime beef in front of you - himself - and you chose the nerd anyway. Beth, at least, seemed less likely to ridicule you.

"It doesn't matter, though." you had groaned. "He's got a crush on Ashley."

"So?" Beth asked. "Josh once had a crush on Britney Spears at the same time he discovered Leo DiCaprio. People can have multiple crushes. And I'm pretty sure Chris doesn't just like you because you can beat him at Street Fighter."

"Fine, you may have a point. But I'm not gonna make any moves tonight! Looks like Chris is on a one-way trip to Hangover City."

She smiled wryly. "Ugh. Guess I have to make hangover cures in the morning. If you and Sam are the only other sober ones, wanna help? We can make vegan pancakes just the three of us!"

You grinned. "That actually sounds really fun."

"Great!"

You watched the rest of the movie, and finally decided it was time to check on the others, realizing you hadn't heard much during your little party.

"Guys?" Beth called, a little confused when no one answered. The two of you wandered down, only to find Chris and Josh, slumped over the kitchen island, a few empty bottles of liquor between them. Beth gave a chuckle that became a sigh. You remember this part so much more clearly.

Beth looked out the window, and frowned. "There's someone out there! I thought Mom and Dad said it would be just us this weekend."

"Maybe it's the trees? They're pretty creepy at night." you suggested, not wanting the creepy idea of someone else being on the mountain to take root.

She looked away, unsure, then glanced at the bottles.

"Ugh... Once again, big brother, you've outdone us all." Beth said, her eyes roving over the bottle-covered table. She picked up a piece of paper and read it, wincing. "This is - what has my naïve sister gotten herself into now?"

You take the paper, only really having time to read the words "Hannah" and "Mike xoxo" before someone went running by, sobbing. Beth went charging after them...

Wake Chris Follow Beth

...but you quickly tried shoving Chris to wake him up. But even with you yelling in his ear, he was dead to the world. You ran out after Beth, only to run right into Matt's back.

"You know, Mike, I think you're the last person she wants to see right now." Sam was saying.

"What the hell is going on?" you asked, looking from face to face. Emily disgusted, Sam worried, Mike and Jessica looking uneasy... "Where's Beth? And Hannah?"

"Hannah overreacted to this prank we pulled," Ashley frowned. "And Beth ran after her."

"What do you think, Y/N? Should we go looking for them?" Mike wondered.

Concerned - "Beth said someone else was out there..." Responsible - "We should get help..."

"They say you really shouldn't split up in a snowstorm. Beth's smart. I'm sure she'll bring Hannah back. But just in case, let's call the ranger station?" you said. You remember the group all nodding, more at ease now that there was a plan. Emily went to call, while Mike and Matt tried to wake up Chris and Josh, and you tried to get what happened out of Jessica and Ashley, because Sam refused to talk to any of them.

A horrible prank... and two deaths. For a whole year, the idea that maybe, if you had made some other choice, you could have prevented it, consumed you. Maybe if you had chased after Hannah more quickly you could've stopped her, or maybe at least convinced Beth not to run and to call the ranger station instead... maybe at least one of the twins would still be alive.

Things only got worse after the trip. You thought it might bring you more friends, but the group fractured down the middle. Eventually Em and Mike broke up, making it really awkward to choose between them. Sam had distanced herself from the others, angry at them for the prank, and you hadn't heard from her for months. And Chris... you two had gotten a little closer, but really this tragedy had struck all of you and changed everything.

You hadn't known Josh that well, so it was surprising that he asked you to come back up to the lodge. And although it might be weird, definitely uncomfortable... you find yourself on a bus, headed right back up to Mount Washington.

With no idea of what the night will hold...

[watermelonlovershigh]

Day in the Life of a Single Dad with a 2 Yr Old

This was requested by this anon.

AN: let me know if you guys like fluff fics & i'll try to write them as frequent as my smut & sicfics. also couldn't come up with a better title so... yeah the title is a lil iffy.

Things to help you understand this story better:

(Harry is a single parent/Harry is 25/Harry is a healthy eater/Loves his daughter so much)

Harry is peacefully sleeping in his bed alone. Covers to his chin, curled up on his side. That is until his beautiful two year old daughter comes barging in there to wake her daddy up. He shouldn't be asleep she thinks. It's too late. In reality its only 7 am on a Saturday, but to an early riser like her, he should be awake and playing with her. Or making her breakfast.

Her little feet pad over to her daddy's side of the bed. She can barley reach him due to the height of his bed, but manages to stretch her little arms up and taps on Harrys face. "Daddy, wake up." she speaks in her little British accent. Harry slowly opens his eyes and immediately squeezes them shut because of the sunlight coming from the window blinding him. "Daddy!!" his daughter says a little louder.

If his daughter was any older, Harry might tell her to wait a few minutes or go back to bed because it's too early, but he knows she's only 2. So he forces his eyes open again and reaches down to hook his hands in her tiny arm pits to lift her on the bed. "Why are you awake so early babe." he asks in a gravely voice, while placing her on his bare chest.

"I hungry." her tiny voice replies.

"Mhmm what would you like?" Harry mumbles sleepily.

"Sweets." she says innocently.

"I don't think so love. We don't eat sweets for breakfast. It will give you a tummy ache. What about a healthy fruit salad. We have some Watermelon and Strawberries in the fridge." he replies to his daughter who's straddling his chest.

"NO, I WANT SWEETS! I WANT SWEETS!" she yells back with angry tears threatening to escape.

"D/n, we do not yell!" her father speaks firmly. "We can't have sweets but we can have something other than a fruit salad if you want. Lets go down and see what we have." With a tight grip on his upset daughter, Harry gets out of bed and makes his way down the spiral staircase and into the kitchen.

This wasn't something new to him. Ever since his daughter turned 2 in August, she's been acting up a lot more than previously. You could say it was the terrible twos everyone talks about. Harry tries his hardest to teach her the proper ways to behave but it's been proven to be a lot more difficult than anticipated. Especially hard when he's busy all the time and isn't with her 24/7 like stay-at-home mums are or stay-at-home dads were. He's a musician. Not a so called musician that gets excited to book a Friday night at the local pub. No, Harry is a international pop star.

When he ended up getting a one-night stand pregnant, he told them they could do what they wanted as far keeping the baby or not. Harry has always been one to agree that its a women's choice. But his one-night stand wanted to have the baby. Honestly, you'd think Harry would get angry that she decided to keep it, but he wasn't. Maybe it wasn't the ideal situation to have a baby from a one-night stand that he had on tour, but he being the loving Harry everyone seems to know and love, of course tried to look at it as a positive thing. But when his daughter was born, his one-night stand got her minute of fame by saying she had Harry Styles baby and left. Abandoned her own blood. Harry had to get full custody of his daughter and ever since then she's been living with her daddy.

It was really hard the first few months of her life. A baby needs their mothers comfort and warmth and she had none of that. She never got the opportunity to breast feed or feel the love of her mother, and Harry feels sick just thinking about it. So Harry put his career on hold for a few months to take care of his daughter and show her that someone cares for her. He never wanted her to feel unloved. It was his biggest fear. That's why every day since the day she was born, he tells her how much he loves her. Shows her how much he loves her.

He did all her nightly feedings with warmed up formula in bottles. He changed her diapers at all hours of the day. He gave her baths every day to make sure she smelled nice and clean. And when she turned 1 years old and was getting more active, he took her to the studio with him and let her play her toys.

Just because Harry is a single parent doesn't mean he doesn't have help or support. He has a lot of help when it comes to taking care of his daughter. His sister Gemma babysits all the time for him when he's got something very important to do at the studio where he'd prefer if his daughter wasn't there. Harry's mum watches his daughter frequently when he has a interview he needs to attend. Even some of Harry's friends watch or take care of her when needed. Especially some of his ex bandmates that have kids of their own now. Harry's daughter has playdates with Bear, Liam's son about once a month. They're about the same age and their dads are friends so it works out great. His daughter has even played with Freddie, Louis's son. Not as much because Freddie lives in America but when he comes to England to spend time with his father they hang out. Freddie and Harry's daughter are quite similar. They were both created due to a one-night stand. The only difference is Freddie's mum wanted him. Didn't abandon him. So he has a relationship with both parents. Needless to say, besides all the things a mother can give to their child, his daughter has a good life. People love her, and once again that's all Harry could ask for. People and himself to love his daughter.

After fighting with his daughter about what to eat for breakfast, she finally settles for some Strawberry pancakes as long as they have chocolate syrup on top. Harry gives in and allows a little chocolate for her to have with breakfast. She sits in her high chair munching on the pancakes while Harry cleans the mess from cooking. Like washing the pan and wiping the stove off. When he's finished cleaning, he notices his daughter has stopped eating and is just making a mess with her food at this point.

Walking up to her high chair, Harry bends down and lifts her sticky body up and says, "Alright, time to give you a bath little one."

"No bath daddy! Me no want a bath!" she yells and attempts to kick her fathers legs but Harry grabs ahold of them in his big hand and stops her movements which makes her small body more angry. She screams very loud in his ear and pounds her baby fist in his shoulders, expressing her anger. Harry really wants to get upset. But what he's read in parenting books is that if you ignore their behavior and act like you don't see their tantrums, it will make it better and they'll give up on trying so hard to show their anger.  Because most toddlers have tantrums to try and get attention from their parent(s). By ignoring it, you're not feeding into it.

"I'm sorry but you have chocolate all over you love. Need to get you clean because I need to take you to the studio for a few hours with me today. How does that sound?" trying to make bath time and going to the studio sound fun.

After fighting with Darcy to get in the bath, Harry finally got her in the tub. He struggled to wash her curly hair due to the fact she wouldn't sit still, even after he gave her a rubber ducky to play with. Once he's washed her hair and chocolate covered body, Harry picks her up and wraps her in a big fluffy towel, then takes her to her room to get changed. He manages to get a pull up on her, (still trying to potty train), and puts a lovely red track suit on her with some Gucci shoes. Then he carries her in front of the bathroom mirror to brush her hair.

"Be good for daddy and let me brush your hair." Harry tells his daughter in a gentle manner.

As soon as he passes the brush in her hair, his daughter screams, "Owww, it hurts daddy!"

10 minutes later, Harry has brushed her locks and put her hair into some cute pigtails. With his 2 year old crying in the process. He's pretty good at doing hair because he used to have longer hair himself. Then he picks her up off the counter and places her on the ground, walking her to his bedroom.

"Can you lay in my bed while I get ready? I'll put on your favorite show." he questions calmly.

"Peppa Pig, Peppa Pig, Peppa Pig!" is daughter chants.

"Alright, alright." He picks up his baby girl and sets her in the middle of his bed. Then he grabs the remote to turn his wall mounted tv on. He scrolls on Netflix and finds Peppa Pig to keep her occupied. Then goes to his bathroom to get dressed and ready to head to the studio.

When he exits his bathroom fully dressed and ready to leave, he finds a sleeping toddler on his bed, snuggled into his pillow. Her perfectly outlined lips slightly parted. Harry can't help but smile. He loves his baby girl with his entirety and seeing her peaceful like this makes him so happy. He turns the tv off and carefully picks her up into his arms and heads down the stairs to his car in the garage. But not before stopping by her room to pick up her mini backpack that holds extra pullups and a sippy cup full of juice, with some of her toys as well. Her tiny face is stuffed into her daddy's neck and Harry can feel light puffs of air hitting his skin. He puts his daughter in her car seat and buckles her up properly. Then gets in himself to drive to the studio.

About 5 minutes away from the studio, Darcy wakes up from her late morning nap and whines out, "Me wanna go home and play with you!"

"I'm sorry but I have to work for a little bit. I'll play with you when we get home later. How does that sound Hmm?" She was not satisfied with her fathers answer and starts wailing. Hot salty tears run down her little cheeks and she makes exaggerated sounds to emphasize her crying. She kicks at the seat in front of her and balls her fist up as if she's going to hit something but unfortunately to her, she can't reach a single thing due to her seat belt. Once again, Harry just ignores her cries of anger and turns the radio on loud to block it out.

By the time they arrive at the studio, Harry's daughter has calmed down. She's still upset but at least she isn't crying and that's progress in Harry's eyes. He parks his car in a secluded area to hide from potential paparazzi and unbuckles her. Then shields her face form potential cameras and make their way into the music studio. Harry has to record some audio for his newest album so that's why he needed to come in today. They enter the studio where the rest of his solo band is. He prefers to record the instruments live instead of manufactured drums and guitars.

At some point when he was getting ready in his home bathroom, Harry had called his assistant and told her he needed to bring his daughter in to the studio with him so she could watch her while he's busy. She agreed but being Harry Styles assistant, it wasn't really an option. Not that Harry would force her but she's an assistant for a reason. To do jobs Harry assigns her. In this case babysit his toddler while he records a song. He doesn't have anyone else today and unfortunately can't leave her at home with a mummy like many other fathers can. He's just happy his job allows his daughter to be somewhat a part of it. Not in the spotlight because he keeps his daughters identity a secret from the public for her protection, but as far as her going to the studio with him or when she gets older, she can come on tour with him.

Harry's assistant takes his toddler and her mini backpack full of her essentials. They hang out in the open area, out of the way from his band and he himself so he can get what he needs to get done so they can wrap everything up for the album. Harry's daughter actually loves his assistant. They have grown quite close over the 2 years of her life. But because she's going through her terrible twos, the toddler didn't want to behave for anyone today.

About an hour into Harry's work, he's interrupted with a frantic assistant that has a screaming toddler in her arms. "I'm sorry Harry but she's been crying for about 30 minutes and I've done everything I know to do to get her to calm down." Harry isn't upset his assistant came to him for help with his baby. That's not the type of guy he is.

Harry takes off his headphones and walks over to them. He picks his little girl up into his tattooed arms and questions, "Love, why are you upset for? If you keep crying, you'll end up with a tummy ache."

She just hugs around her fathers neck with her little arms and says, "Want you daddy." Those words almost breaks his heart. Harry doesn't know where this sudden want for him has came from.

"You can have me all you want when I'm finished working, alright. I'll be done shortly." He struggles to pass her back over to his assistant, but finally manages. "Maybe she's hungry. I'll give you a few pounds to take her through drive thru at McDonalds. Would you like McDonalds d/n?" She just nods her pigtailed head. He would suggest for them to go inside, but the public knows what his assistant looks like so they'd know that was his daughter. The daughter that has her identity secret for now. His assistant takes the toddler to the McDonalds drive thru and orders her some chicken nuggets. Even through Harrys pescatarian, he still allows his daughter to eat meats. Then Harry goes back to work in the studio.

Around 2 in the afternoon, Harry and the two year old make it back home. The rest of the evening was a little hectic with a few tantrums here and there. Harry cooked them a nice meal for dinner at about 6 and played dolls with her in the short period of time she wasn't upset. Then comes the dreaded bedtime.

Harry changes her into some pjs and helps her brush her teeth. Then when he went to put her in bed, she started crying for the 100th time today. "Me sleep with you daddy." she cries out. There's a part of him that wants to say yes and cave in, but the parent part of him is saying no. She needs to learn to be a big girl. Harry really doesn't understand why she wants to sleep with him all the sudden. She normally has no problem sleeping by herself.

"No baby. You need to be a big girl and sleep in your bed sweetheart. I'm right next door if you need me though okay." His daughter clings to his body and cries fat tears. Harry decides to stay in her room until she falls asleep. So that's what he does. When she subsumes to sleep, he lays her down in her bed and pulls the covers up over her frail body. Then exits her room quietly.

Harry changes into some comfier clothes himself and goes down stairs to get himself a glass of wine. Then he sits on the sofa and turns a series on to watch before bed. Times like now is when  he wishes he had a wife. He'd even take a girlfriend. Just someone to hold him late at night and cuddle with him. Even have some type of intimacy. Ever since he found out about his daughter, Harrys game of sleeping around stopped. He didn't want to keep sleeping with random girls when he was becoming a dad. He was raised better than that. So needless to say he was lonely. In every way possible. Mentally, and physically.

Whilst in the middle of the show he's watching, Harry is brought back to reality when he hears a blood-curdling scream from up the stairs. He rushes to set his wine down on the coffee table and runs to his daughters room. When he walks in there, his heart sinks. The toddler is crying so hard she's gasping for air. It's a different cry that he's seen through-out the day. Unlike her terrible twos tantrums, this cry sounds like she's scared. Harry runs to her and picks her up. "Hey what's wrong my love? Tell daddy what's wrong." he asks of his child, soothing her to his chest.

As her tears slow down in the comfort of her daddy's arms, she mumbles, "You left me." Once again Harrys confused because she never acts like this.

Harry walks out her bedroom and goes to sit with her on the sofa downstairs. Then he turns her around on his lap to look at her face more clearly. "Baby, you need to tell daddy why you got scared or why you want me all the sudden."

The little 2 year old takes a deep breath and speaks in her little accent, "On Peppa Pig, they...they said kids like me are supposed to have a mummy AND a daddy. They said daddies can't love their babies like mummy's can. Me was scared you don't love me anymore." Her voice cracked saying the last bit with fresh tears running down her face and Harry has glossy eyes looking down at his distressed but beautiful mini twin. That's right. They look almost exactly alike. He thanks God every day for that because he doesn't want to look at his daughter and be reminded of a one-night stand that's a piece of shit of a mother.

"Look at me d/n. I love you so so so much. I will NEVER stop loving you." at this point he has to take a deep breath so compose his emotions, "And not all kids have mummies. There are a lot of kids who just have a daddy or some just have a mummy. But it doesn't mean I love you any less. Okay?! Don't listen to what they said in Peppa Pig. They were wrong." Finishing his speech, Harry pulls her tiny body forward and hugs her to his warm chest. He has silent tears running down his face. Both hands spread over her boney back. He thinks tonight is appropriate enough to allow her to sleep with him. She needs comfort. "Would you still like to sleep with me?" he asks in a whisper.

"Pleaseee." she responds while crying. Harry stands form the couch, turning the television off and abandoning his barley touched wine glass, and goes to his bedroom. The turns the overhead light off and walks over to the bed. Peeling the covers back, Harry and his daughter, whose on his chest, slide under the warm blankets together. Now she has just about stopped crying. Just little whimpers leaving her body, along with a few hiccups. Harry reaches over to turn the lamp off, leaving the room completely dark. He shushes his baby until her eyes slowly close and she falls asleep with her face burred in his neck and arms around his neck. Her short legs lay limp over his stomach.

Harry has a difficult time falling asleep that night. He feels sorry for his baby girl because he worries that movies and shows with two parents will make her sad and left out because she doesn't have a mummy. He just prays she will see all she'll ever need is her daddy to protect her and love her for the rest of eternity.

MASTERLIST & My Favorite Harry Styles Fics MASTERLIST

[folkreid]

what if they don’t like me

I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT IN NO WAY AM I TRYING TO MAKE JJ SEEM LIKE A BAD PERSON OR ANYTHIJG I LOVE HER

Today's the day! I'm so excited. I'll be meeting Spencer's team. We've been dating for almost eight months, the team barley found out about me. Spencer wanted our relationship to be private, he said if the team found out about me they would ask too many questions.

I'm so excited to meet them! I can not wait. I met his mother maybe four months ago. She was lovely.

I finish off my makeup with some lipstick. Okay I look good. Right amount of cleavage, right amount of makeup. My heels aren't to high which is really good, I could hardly walk in them.

Spencer comes from behind me wrapping his arms around me. "You ready my love?" he asks putting his head on my shoulder. "Yeah I am" I reply with a sigh. "What's wrong babe?" he asks noticing my dreary mood. "What if they don't like me?" I look at the mirror, looking at him. He kissed my temple. "They're going to love you" he whispered.

I nod. "Okay i'm ready". He grabs my coat handing it to me, I put it on over my dress. He holds my hand as we walk to his car together. He opens my door, I sit down and he closes it for me.

The drive is mainly silent besides the radio. I hum along to the song that was playing trying to relax my nerves. "Why are you bouncing your leg?" he puts his hand over mine that was on my thigh.

I didn't even notice I was doing that. "I don't know"

He squeezed my hand. "Are you still nervous?" he asks looking over at me for a second. "Kind of, what if they question us because of my age"

Spencer and I were 10 years apart. He is 30 and i'm 20. We've gotten a lot of negative responses about our age gap. Mainly from my family. My mom didn't approve. My sister said I was dating him because he was older and I needed male validation since my dad wasn't in my life. Why are they so terrible. I'm happy with Spencer, I don't care how old he is.

"Hey, I don't care what they think of us, i'm happy alright" I nod slowly.

We arrive to the house. Woah it's a really big house. Spencer said the house was big. I didn't think it would be a mansion though.

Spencer comes over to me and opens my door.

I get out and hold his hand. I feel myself getting nervous. I have some issues with being around people. I get social anxiety pretty badly. I don't go out anymore, last time I went out to eat in public I had a panic attack.

We walk to the front door of the house.

Spencer knocks on the door, we wait for someone to answer. An older man answers. I'm guessing the owner of this house. "Spencer you're here!" the man smiles giving him a hug. I stand there awkwardly. "Uh Rossi this is Y/n, my girlfriend" he introduced me. I wave to him. "You don't shake hands either ?" he asked. I do shake hands but I usually feel really uncomfortable being touched. "I-I um" I stutter. "She does but she gets kind of uncomfortable with people she just met" Spencer explains. Rossi nods and welcomes me in. "Come in Y/n" he smiles.

I walk in and see two other men and three women. One of them was very colorful. Penelope I presume. Spencer leads me to the group. "Guys this is my girlfriend, Y/n. Y/n this is Hotch, JJ, Derek, Emily, and Penelope" both Emily and JJ give me weird looks. Penelope runs over to me and hugs me. "Oh my god! I've been so excited to meet you" she squeals. I look over to Spencer feeling slightly uncomfortable. "Garcia, Y/n isn't really fond of touch" he tells her. Penelope pulls away looking sorry. "I am so sorry angel" she says. "No it's totally fine" I whisper, they could hardly hear me. My parents used to scream at me about not talking loud enough.

"Okay well let's eat" Rossi says. I sat down at the end of the table, Spencer to my right and no one on my left. We begin to eat, I slightly here JJ and Emily whispering. I hear them say my name. I begin shifting in my seat. Spencer noticed and holds my hand under the table doing the dumb thing. "You okay love?" he whispers. "Yeah I um, I just need to use the restroom" I tell him. He nods. "I'm going to show Y/n the restroom" he excuses us.

"Here it is babe" he says. "You want me to wait for you?" he asked me. "No it's fine Spencer" he nods and heads back to the table.

I sit on the corner of the bath tub with my face in my hands. I just need to calm down. Breathe in and out. In and out. I feel myself calm down after about three minutes. I go look into the mirror. Do I look like I cried? No okay good.

I step out, I stop at the corner when I hear my name mentioned. "How old is Y/n" I look over the wall to see JJ asking about my age. "She's twenty" he casually says. I adore him. He's never made me feel bad for being younger, or not being as smart as him. "Spencer that's a child" Derek told him.

I walk out to the table. "I'm not a child" I say. They all look over to me. I take my seat next to Spencer. "I would never take advantage of someone younger than me" Spencer says. "Spencer we know but she's so young" Emily comments.

"I'm right here you don't have to refer as me as she" I sternly say. Hotch, Penelope and Rossi just watch this unfold. JJ rolls her eyes at me. "Okay well Y/n, why are you dating such and older guy, if you aren't dating guys you're age theres a reason why" Derek said to me.

"I um- I don't care if Spencer is two years older or twenty years older, i'm happy with him the age doesn't matter" I say holding Spencer's hand. "Are you sure it's not to maybe make you feel better" the blonde said. "What are you implying" Spencer snaps.

"That she has daddy issues and you're just there to fill that whole in her heart" Emily continued off of JJ's comment. "I think if they're happy we should leave them alone" Penelope speaks for the first time since the conversation started. "Yeah but he should be happy with someone his own age" JJ said. I get up and walk outside.

I sit on the curb crying into my knees. "Y/n" I hear a voice perk. I look over my shoulder to see Penelope. "Y/n come back inside please, we don't want anything to happen to you" she says implying to the fact that it was dark outside and there were suspicious men on the news around this area.

"Maybe you don't want me to get hurt, the others hate me" I cry into my shirt. "Please just come inside". I give in and walk back into the house.

"You guys made her cry! For what?! Just because she's younger than me!" I see Spencer yell at the three who were questioning me.  Hotch and Rossi were in the back having some drinks.

"Spence" JJ starts. "No I don't want to hear it Jennifer!" he storms my way grabbing my hand and pulling me to the car. "Goodbye Y/n" Penelope called from the front of the house. I look back and give her a quick wave.

I get into the car and Spencer starts driving. He was gripping the stealing wheel hard. He was mad. "Spence?" I whisper. He hummed in response. "Are you mad at me?" he looks over to me the second those words left my mouth. He puts his hand on my thighs stroking it gently. "Of course not my love, i'm  mad at them" he gently told me. I nod. "So now what?" I ask. "Now we just ignore what they have to say. I'm never going to leave you, I love you so much" he smiles. "I love you too" I hold his hand.

"Are you okay?" he asked me. "I'm fine, I liked the way you yelled at them" I slightly giggled. He smiled. "I will yell at anyone any day to defend you" he reaches over and kisses me. We were at a red light.

—————————

THE NEXT MORNING

I hear talking in the kitchen, I wonder who it is. I go over and peek over the corner. It was Spencer and JJ. "I'm sorry for saying shit to your girlfriend Spence" she apologizes. Spencer just takes a sip of his water. "The truth is, I guess I was a little jealous" she laughs. He choked on his water. "J-Jealous?" he asked.

She nods and slightly laughed. "Spencer, I love you, like more than a friend love you" she confess. I feel my self get sick to my stomach. He told me when he was younger he had a crush on her. What if old feelings come back. I rush to the restroom and vomit into the toilet.

I hear footsteps rush to me. "Are you okay" Spencer acts. I slightly sob, i've always hated throwing up. I look up at Spencer and JJ was standing next to him with her hand on his arm. "I'm fine" I mumble. They both stand their for a moment. "Can you guys get out please!" I snap at them. They leave and I brush my teeth and go back to the kitchen.

"Do you think Y/n is pregnant?" JJ asked Spencer. "No there's no way she is" he sighs. "What if a condom ripped or something" she said touching his arm once again. I don't care if she was trying to comfort him.

"No, she can't be because we've never had sex" he mumbled. Her facial expressions changes to shock. "Oh" she simply says. I clear my throat making them notice me. "Are you okay babe?" he asked. "Yeah i'm fine, JJ weren't you saying something earlier?" I ask. She looks at me confused. "What are you talking about Y/n" she tilts her head. I cross my arms. "Spencer I love you, like more than a friend love you" I mock her voice. She clenched her jaw and looks towards Spencer. "I'm gonna leave" she grabs her things and walks out the door.

"Why did you do that!" he yells at me. "Why are you yelling at me?" I head towards our bedroom. "Talk about what she said, now it's going to be awkward around her!" he screams.

"Well you're the one who was letting her be all up on you! After she said that when you guys came to check up on me she was holding your arm! A-And you used to have feelings for her and you probably still do" I cry.

I see his face soften. "Babe" he starts. I look up at him. "I didn't even realize she was touching me, I was to focused on you" he tells me.

"Really?" I say hopefully. "Yes baby" he hugs me and kisses the top of my head. "I don't have feelings for her, you're the only person I love okay?" I nod.

[luxwritesfanfic]

Right Where You Left Me

Reader gets déjà vu in a way she never expected. Or, the one where Sherlock is the gift that never stops giving. AU!Bucky because he always has your back. Enjoy!

Author’s Note: There is a lot of angst and multiple different aspects that could be very triggering for some within this work. Please be mindful of the trigger warning below and if you see something that you feel should be listed, message me and I will edit accordingly!

Trigger Warning: Severe depression, suicidal ideations, suicide attempt (overdose), forced vomiting, talk of death in general, angst with a happy ending

Sherlock Holmes/Reader

You couldn’t really tell how long you’d been lying in bed for. Time was such a foreign concept to you now. It was either before the fall, when you were happy and he was with you, or after the fall, where you were all alone. You weren’t alone physically because your friends would never allow for that. Since the fall, you’d been staying in Sherlock’s flat, and Mrs. Hudson would always bring you a plate of whatever she was cooking and put it in the fridge. And like clockwork, she’d come every Sunday and clean the fridge out from where you didn’t touch any of the plates. She never seemed to mind, though, and she never stopped bringing you food.  

Bucky would come by every day and check on you and help you do things around the house. And by help you, he did everything for you. Mrs. Hudson would let him stay in John’s old room whenever he needed, and he’d make sure you showered and that your laundry was done. He would tell you he does this because he loves you and that even though you weren’t born his sister, you would die that way.

John had moved on and moved out and you were happy for him. Mary was lovely, and you wished you could move on with your life, but you couldn’t. You knew he was taking it just as hard as you and that you both just had different ways of coping with the pain.  

When you had to quit your job, Mycroft was immediately there and offered to take care of you financially. “Please, allow me to do this for you. It’s what my brother would have wanted. He couldn’t stand me when he was ali—here, so the least I can do is make him happy where he is now,” he said quietly. Pigs must’ve been flying in the window behind you because when you reached to hug Mycroft, he met you halfway. You cried nonstop for days after that.

You had tried to be better after the scare, not for you, but for your family. You don’t remember much from it, but you do know that no one brings it up around you and you haven’t been left alone for longer than a few hours since.

You woke up with your face propped up against something cool, but you could barely open your eyes to see where you were. Your stomach was in the most pain it had ever been in and everything around you sounded so far away. You remember being yanked back and fingers were shoved down your throat and someone, Bucky, was standing over you and holding you up saying through tears, “I know it hurts and I’m sorry, but you have to throw it up, Y/N. You have to. I can’t lose you, too.”  

Everything hurt and in between gags you could hear Mrs. Hudson crying and begging whoever was on the phone to get there faster. You had never heard anyone scream like that and you were sorry you were the one who caused it.

Even though you’d promised Sherlock he would never lose you, Fate stepped in and you lost him. When you thought about the turn your life had taken, you just told everyone you were keeping your end of the deal.  

Bucky knocked on your door and stuck his head in. “Mornin’, Y/N. I’m gonna start some laundry and make us some coffee and then I’ll be back, okay?” You could tell he was worried by the tone of his voice, but he did a good job of hiding it. You didn’t say anything back to it and he didn’t expect you to.  

Bucky came in a little later with some towels in his hand and a coffee in the other. “I know you’re not feeling real good today, so I was thinking I could wash your hair for you? You can just bend over the tub and I’ll do all the work. I’ve even been watching some videos on how to braid and then you won’t have to worry it matting up either.” He set the coffee down on the nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed next to you.  

By this point you were already crying into the pillow because how could the people in your life love you this much when you had nothing to offer them anymore?

“I love you so much,” you cried, and Bucky’s heart broke at the sound, “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry and I love you.”

He brushed the hair away from your face. His hands were warm, and it made you feel human again. “You don’t have to be sorry. I love you and I will take care of you for however long you need me to. God knows you would-- and have, done the same for me. So, let me wash your hair for you and I can tell you all about how Lestrade constantly shits on Anderson now as an eternal tribute.”  

You smiled and although it wasn’t full of life, he was just as happy to see it. You ended up just getting a shower and Bucky rushed next door to get you a sandwich in hopes that you’d eat for him, too.  

As you were brushing your hair out, you heard multiple voices. You heard Bucky, and he sounded… shocked? And then there was John and then just as you were about to reach for the door you heard it. You would know that baritone voice anywhere. Barging out of the bathroom and almost tripping over your own two feet, you came to a full stop.

“Sherlock?”  

There he stood in the middle of the room with John a few feet behind him, and Bucky with his back to you, seemingly always ready to protect you. It looked like him and it sounded like him, and hell, it even smelled like him. You couldn’t believe it.

“Y/N.” He went to make a step towards you but seemed to have think better of it. It was better if he assessed your reaction to seeing him first. It had been so long since he had last seen you and while he silently fought the raw want he had to hold you, he knew you were seeing red.

“I don’t even—I can’t-- can’t even comprehend this. Where do I start? Where the fuck have you been? You were dead, Sherlock! I watched you…” You squeezed your eyes shut, steeling yourself the best you could. You weren’t going to cry. You had too much to say. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw John and Bucky slip through the front door. You were sure that was their best bet.

Sherlock said nothing as you went off because there was really nothing for him to say. He understood why you were so mad with him, even if he wasn’t generally self-aware when it came to his own feelings, he wasn’t that daft. He had come prepared for this and he was going to make it right.

“No, you know what? Don’t say anything. I don’t even want to hear it. I have been fucking rotting in this flat while everyone else was able to move on with their lives. I was here, because I couldn’t live without you. My world stopped. I do nothing, Sherlock, nothing but sit and lay in your bed and cry into your old shirts!” You were yelling now, hands running through your hair as you tried to make sense of it all. Somewhere in the back of your mind you made a mental note to thank Bucky for making you get up and shower this morning.

“I quit my job, Sherlock. Mycroft has been paying to keep me alive and Mrs. Hudson and Bucky take turns to make sure I’m still breathing every other hour because they’re scared that if I’m left alone for too long, I won’t be. And poor John, I see him and start fucking bawling because then all I see is you. I stopped caring about everything, and everyone else, because the only person I cared about looked me in the eyes and walked off a fucking building!”

Sherlock opened his mouth to say something, but you quickly cut him off.  

“Seriously, don’t speak. You don’t get to just waltz in with John after all this time—you know what? There’s the million-dollar question. Was I the only one who didn’t know you were alive? Because so help me God, Sherlock, I’m this close to losing it.”

He didn’t know whether or not he should actually speak, but he took the cue after he started to physically feel the heat from the deathly glare you were giving him. You quite literally looked deranged but that didn’t stop him from taking a step towards you. He always seemed to chase danger, and you were no exception.

“No… you weren’t the only one. John only just found out a few weeks ago, and only a few select people knew the whole time.” Sherlock was careful with his words. He knew he was walking on thin ice.

You didn’t say anything to that, and Sherlock found that even scarier than when you were yelling.

“Hah, select people, huh? I like that one. So, where were you staying? Were you in London this whole time? Shit, you could’ve been downstairs for all I know. I guess I wouldn’t be a select person to know that, though, would I?”

Sherlock grimaced. Things were going worse than he imagined, and he already figured it would be pretty bad. That was an understatement. “I had to jump around often for everyone’s safety, but I stayed in London for the most part. I stayed with Molly when I could.”

You laughed in his face at that, and you clamped your hand over your mouth, turning your back on him lest you start laughing again. He watched you with furrowed brows and you knew he wanted to speak but you couldn’t do it right now.  You took a few steps towards the kitchen window and looked out at the bustling London streets beneath you. For months your world stopped, and it seemed so real when in reality nothing stopped at all.  

“Great, great. That’s so great. Splendid, really.” You murmured to yourself and perched your free hand on your hip. Drumming your fingers against your lips, you began again.  

“Bucky had to glue the windows down because he thought I was going to jump, and you were staying with Molly.” The tone of your voice was venomous and if looks could kill, Sherlock Holmes would be dead for real this time.

Sherlock winced. “Y/N, please, let me—” You cut him off, speaking louder this time. Your face was void of emotion, but your eyes betrayed you as the tears started to fall freely and your voice cracked under the weight of everything that was being said.

“Bucky had to glue the windows down because I thought I was going to jump, and you were staying with Molly! Damn you, Sherlock Holmes! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” You grasped at the kitchen counter to steady yourself as you gasped for air between the sobs that you couldn’t contain anymore. Your heart ached so badly that you actually clutched your chest, afraid that it was going to break through your ribcage and abandon ship. You could barely register Sherlock coming up behind you through your tears and as he willed you to face him, you noticed that his eyes were brimmed red and glossy. Even sad, Sherlock looked as beautiful as a doll.

“I always come when you call, why didn’t you come for me?” You cried, fisting your hands in his shirt so tightly that you thought heard buttons pop. Your head was swimming and you had never felt more betrayed in your life. How could Sherlock turn to anyone but you? Had you not made it clear that you would do anything for him?  

“I called for you every single night, Sherlock! Begged for you, mourned you, I—” The tears wouldn’t stop flowing and your voice was starting to crack from its sudden and harsh overuse.

It was then that Sherlock wedged himself so close to you that you didn’t even have the space to move your head and look up at him. A pair of strong arms wrapped around your back and you were being squeezed so hard to him that you thought you’d either die from a heart attack or suffocation. And even now at the hands of Sherlock, neither seemed that bad. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He whispered against your forehead again and again as if he was repeating a chant he had been practicing for some time.

“I love you so much and you didn’t even call! Why didn’t you call?” Your words were lost to the both of you now, spoken into his shirt and distorted by your sobs. Sherlock held you as you cried and tried to contain your shaking body against his as you let out months of sadness and pain and despair. You were so overwhelmed that you couldn’t think straight.  

“I know, I know you do, and that’s why I couldn’t call. I couldn’t call for you.” He held onto you as he spoke like you would disappear. Sherlock had decided before he even stepped foot into the flat that he would not lose you again. In his time away from you, he was subjected to feelings he could only describe as both love and heartbreak in equal measure. Being apart from you had left him feeling a void that nothing could fill, but it was his love for you that he relied on to keep you safe and away from him.  

Sherlock pulled back from you and while it was only by a few inches, you suddenly felt worlds away. You go to pull him back to you when he gathers your hands in his and leaves a trail of ghostly kisses along the spread of your knuckles.  

“I have never begged for mercy in my life…” He murmurs, eyes never leaving yours. He was determined; that much you could tell. Your eyes widened as he lowered himself to one knee, and then two. “Until now. I have hurt you in ways that are beyond comprehensible. Please, grant me the mercy I do not deserve to explain myself. I am willing to bare myself before you if you’ll have me.”

You were in shock at the sight of Sherlock on his knees before you. You had heard him apologize maybe twice in your time of knowing him and here he was, begging for you to hear him out. All you could do is nod.

You expected him to stand up again, but he sat in place and looked up at you with so much love in his eyes that felt all the anger you were harboring dissipate under his gaze. He took a deep breath and prepared himself. If you were ever going to forgive him, he knew that he would have to be honest. And he knew that if he was going to be honest, he would have to admit the feelings he had for you and hope that he could express them in a way that you could understand.

“There were constantly people watching you, and John, and pretty much everyone else who held any value in my life,” he explained, rubbing his thumbs over your fingers as he spoke absentmindedly, “they knew you would be suffering, they counted on that. And if you weren’t, they’d know something was going on. Your suffering had to be real, or else it wouldn’t have been believable. I didn’t want to keep you in the dark. But I had no choice. When I faked my death, I had some help. I stayed with Molly here and there because she already knew, and my relationship with her is is…different for ours.” He paused.  

You were hanging on every word he said. You could tell he was being sincere, and even though you were upset, you understood. If leaving Sherlock meant protecting him, you would do it too.  

He cleared his throat and started again. “Molly was a safer option. They would have expected less of a reaction from her. And if things were to go wrong…” Trailing off, Sherlock squeezed your hands. You knew what he was trying to say, and you didn’t dare breathe. “You were not someone I could lose. It couldn’t have been you. So yes, I stayed with Molly, but I worked constantly to make it so that I could come home to you.”

You couldn’t take it anymore. “Sherlock,” you whimpered, pulling him to his feet by his collar and back to you where he belonged. He followed suit quickly like he was reading your mind.  

For what seemed like the first time today, you were truly taking him in. He was just as beautiful as he was the day he left you. You reached up to brush away a stray curl from his eyes and smiled at the way he seemed to try and follow your touch.  

There were so many things that you couldn’t be sure of, but this is something you’d always know to be true. You loved Sherlock, terribly, terribly, so. If loving him was the only purpose you ever found in this lifetime, you would be sure not to fail him.

You were lost in other when the sound of footsteps climbing up the stairs drew your attention. Sherlock followed your gaze as you watched John enter the flat from the living room.

“Is everyone okay up here? There was a lot of yelling and then it got pretty quiet…” As he rounded the corner to the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks at the sight of you braced against the counter with a small amount of space between you and Sherlock that he must’ve recently graced you with because you could barely move before. His hands rested on your hips and your hands had found solace on his shoulders. John looked like a deer caught in headlights before he covered his eyes with his hands and made to walk back out, determined not to ruin the moment that all of London was waiting on.

“Fuck, I’m sorry! Don’t mind me, pretend I was never here!” He called out as he dashed back down the stairs so quickly you thought he had fallen and you were sure you heard him say to someone, “I told you so!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the whole situation and when you looked back at Sherlock, you realized he was already looking at you. Even after everything today, you still caught yourself feeling nervous under his heavy gaze.  

“So, it’s okay when you stare but not when I do?” You teased, hoping that he couldn’t see the blush you could surely feel. Sherlock squinted his eyes at your comment as if he didn’t understand what you meant but gave you a devilish smile all the same.  

“I’m sorry.” He wasn’t. “But you are confirming that you do stare at me, right?”  

You were torn between smacking the smirk off his face or kissing it, whatever compelled you the most and right now it was a tie. Rolling your eyes, you brought your hands down to his arms and gave them a squeeze. Not even realizing you were thinking out loud, you whispered something about having déjà vu. This caught Sherlock’s attention, and he moved tiniest bit closer to you. “Déjà vu? How so?”

Cursing yourself under your breath, you laughed and dipped your head down between the two of you, laughing at how ridiculous all of this was. “Jeez, it’s been years now. I had the most realistic dream that’s stuck with me all this time.”

Sherlock tsked at you and moved to bring your head back up so that he could properly see your face. He cupped your cheeks and in the most familiar way and just like in the dream, you were breathless.  

“Go on,” he urged, voice like velvet, “tell me what happened in your dream.”

You all but melted under his gaze. Sherlock, in any form, would always have this effect on you it seemed. His thumb brushed along your lower lip as his own parted. Physically he was with you, but mentally he was far away committing this memory to only a place he could see.

“Use your words. I’m paying raft attention, aren’t I?” Once again you thanked Mrs. Hudson and her choice in countertops because if it was any less sturdy you were sure you would collapse and bring him down with you. On second thought—

Any coherent thought was lost to you when Sherlock nosed your cheek, and you couldn’t help the gasp that left your lips or the words after.

“I told you I loved you, Sherlock. That’s what happened in the dream.” Your words were spoken so quickly in the effort to chase after his lips but he held you still, waiting and wanting in front of him.  

You whined like a child. None of anything that happened today was fair to you, but one kiss and you would forgive all of London for keeping your detective’s secret.

“Well, I guess the only proper response to that is for me to tell you that I’ve loved you for ages, my dear girl.” He smiled against your skin and you thought that this was it. You had officially lost your last marble, and this was the delirium finally setting in. You welcomed the insanity happily.

“Say it again, please. I need to hear you say it again.” You begged, everything hitting you at all at once.

“I love you,” he murmured, his eyes never leaving yours. “I love you, and it’s only ever been you. It couldn’t be anyone else but you. You…didn’t you know that?” His eyebrows rose up and you stopped him in his tracks. That was Sherlock for “are you dumb?”

It was then that you decided you were done with talking before he had the chance to say anything smart. You pulled him down to you so quickly that you missed the shock that flashed in his eyes when your lips finally met. After years of yearning and pining for the man in front of you, you finally had him right where you wanted him. There were so many things you wanted to say to him, but no words would express how you truly felt about him and lucky for you, Sherlock was more of a hands-on learner.  

When you finally broke apart, you got to admire the man of your every hour in all his glory. The mussed hair and kiss swollen lips really added to his already suave look and you couldn’t help but smile like an idiot. “You’re handsome. So handsome, seriously, it should really be a crime. I can finally tell you that without any shame.”

He returned your smile tenfold, and you thought if you could make his eyes crinkle like that just one more time in your life that it would be a life well lived. He acted as if he was mulling your statement over, rolling his bottom lip between teeth. “You could’ve mentioned it before. It might’ve helped me make my deductions much sooner.”

You slapped him on the shoulder but then worked on smoothing his shirt out while he watched you with a gentle fondness that he reserved just for you. You still had so many questions that you wanted answered but you knew those could wait. Something had been generous enough to answer your most asked prayer and you weren’t about to be ungrateful for even a second.  

Placing one last (for now) kiss on his cheek, you led him to the door to the flat and swung it open. “Hey, has Mrs. Hudson seen you—”

As if on perfect cue, Mrs. Hudson shrieks so loudly that any bad memory you have of her yelling is now a good one.

“Sherlock!”

[itisannak]

Parenthood Rehearsal (Ashton Irwin Fluff)

Summary: Ashton and (Y/N) babysit her baby nephew. Based on Love Prompts: #14: “Let’s have a baby.” & #35: “This is why I fell in love with you.” (Words: 2.3k) (Request)

"Make sure the milk is not too hot." My sister says, peeking inside the stroller for one more look at her son, who is suckling on his pacifier. "You already told me that." I remind her, sighing as I try to remain patient with her. "And when you put him to bed, make sure you don't tuck him in too tight. He moves a lot and it is not safe." She states, holding up his little blanket. "Honey, can we go? We are going to be late." My brother-in-law points out, tapping at his watch. It is my sister's first time leaving her son and going out for the night, and it is even worse since the wedding they are attending is too far away for them to return tonight and pick Benny up. I can partially understand her, even though this talk by the door really gets on my very last nerve. "We have got this." I assure her. Ashton smiles and nods, rolling the stroller further into the house. This is the only way to get them to leave already. "If anything happens..." She begins and I groan. "If anything happens, we will let you know. Now leave. Or you are going to make it to the wedding after the couple leaves for their honeymoon." I hold the door for her and she scoffs, rolling her eyes. "You will see him at lunch. You look gorgeous, have fun." I try to sweeten the goodbye, but I can tell she is having a hard time. My brother-in-law mouths a thank you as his hand rests on her lower back and he guides her out of the house. "Call me before his bedtime." Is the last thing my sister says before I close the door to her face.

I make my way to the living room, where Ashton has already set up the portable playpen for my nephew. "Alright. How is my favorite guy?" I cheer at the baby, picking him out of his stroller and holding him to my chest, bouncing him to make him giggle. "I am alright. Just a little sore from setting this up." Ashton replies, even though he knows I am talking to the baby. "Bold of you to assume you are my favorite guy." I tease my husband, making him fake-gasp and touch his chest in pretend offense. "Ouch. 7 months old and he already stole my spot..." He shakes his head, walking closer to me. He leans down, planting a kiss on my forehead before he takes a seat on the couch. "One of us will have to take care of dinner." I state, joining him on the couch. I bounce the baby as Ashton hands me one of multi-textured toys. "Or we can order in." He suggests as I hold the toy out for the baby boy to grasp. "I am a horrible housewife." I sigh, earning a chuckle from Ash. "Your aunt is being funny." He says to the baby, tapping his nose. The little boy finds his hand more interesting than the toy I am holding, reaching to grasp my husband's fingers. "You are not a housewife. And takeout does not mean you are horrible." He replies, letting the baby play with his hand. "I could really go for Tex-Mex tonight." I mumble and he hums. "I could really go for it too. What time should he eat?" Ash asks, picking up Ben so he can hold him and let the kid play with his fingers. "In about 2 hours. But we will have to bathe him first." I reply and he hums. "That means we get to play with the little dude for at least an hour..." He says cheerfully. "You know, I kinda get my sister... I would have a hard time letting go of that dude too. I will probably have a hard time letting him go tomorrow." I sigh, stroking my hand over the soft hair on top of the baby's head. "A bit dramatic, don't you think?" He asks and I shrug. "He is just so cute..." I pout, taking Ben's little hand in mine. "That he is. Come on, let's give him some tummy-time." Ash suggests, pressing his lips on my forehead. Ashton lets Ben on the crawling mattress he has laid on the floor of our living room, laying aside him on his tummy as well. Ben quickly finds his way to the playpen, crawling the short distance without any problems. "Good job, buddy." Ashton cheers, scooting towards him.

I test the water's temperature with the little toy duck thermometer, seeing if the water is too hot for the little guy. "It will take us a fortnight to gather all his stuff..." Ashton sighs, undressing the baby for his bath. "She swore she would bring only the essential..." I mumble, picking the lavender wash out the toiletries bag. "She does realize he will only spend a night at our place, right?" He asks, slowly lowering the baby into his baby tub. "For her feels like a century. Come on, be lenient... It is her first time leaving him." I giggle, kneeling to wash him. "Should I go make a bottle?" He asks, standing aside to let me move with ease. "I think it is too soon. We will have to dress him up before we feed him, and by then the milk will be cold." I reply, wetting the baby's head. "I will go lay his clothes on our bed." He offers and I nod. "Thank you. But make sure you are here to help me pick him out of the tub." I flinch just at the thought of picking him up and him slipping from my hands. "I will only be gone for a minute." He assures me, walking out of our bathroom. Ben flails his hands in the water, splashing around as I use the soft-bristle brush to wash his hair. The whole bathroom smells like lavender soap and that makes me feel soft and mellow. I sigh, thinking of how it will be when Ashton and I decide to have a baby. When we got married two years ago, we decided to just take time to enjoy one another, see the world and submerge ourselves in new experiences, so having children was not a conversation we truly ever had. At least not seriously, not taking into consideration the logistics behind it. But ever since my sister announced her pregnancy, this need of becoming a mother myself was stirred up. And it got worse since Ben was born since I got to hold my nephew in my arms. It does not help that Ashton is so good with him. Fatherhood looks natural on him, and the sight of him holding the baby makes my heart race. I cannot help it, picturing him with our own baby, imagining how good he will be as a parent. But I also know he is such a good parent because he practically raised his siblings. And then he became the father of the group, the older mentor for his friends. It is more than certain that he needs a break from that role, and I understand that. Sighing, I grab the rinsing cup and wash the shampoo off Ben's head. I lather his washcloth with the cleanser and softly cleanse his skin, making sure I don't scrub too harshly on his sensitive skin. "Everything ok in here?" Ashton asks, resting against the doorframe. "Yes, we are done in a minute." I smile at my husband who picks up the baby's towel and preps it in his arms to carry him to our bedroom. I rinse the baby off and move over so Ashton can pick him out. "Oh, you smell so good, bud." Ashton kisses the top of his head as I rinse and drain his tub. "Can you handle dressing him up so I can prep the milk?" Ashton asks as we walk towards our bed. "Can you handle making his bottle?" I ask and he chuckles. "Piece of cake." He assures me, laying the baby on the changing mat. "I think I can do dress up." I reply, picking up the lavender lotion.

I finish putting on his onesie when Ashton returns with the bottle. "You are still struggling with dressing him up?" He asks with a soft giggle. "If you knew all the steps in his nighttime routine, you wouldn't be that surprised..." I state, picking up the baby and sitting on the ottoman to feed him. "Can I do it? Can I feed him?" He asks, sitting next to me. "Are you sure?" I ask and he nods. "Yeah, yeah. I'll feed him, you go take a shower and then you put him to sleep and I take a shower." He replies, motioning for me to give him the baby. "Ok, I'll make sure to be quick." I hand him Ben carefully, watching him as he starts feeding him. "Go, I have done this in the past, multiple times." Ashton says playfully. I raise my hands in defeat, walking away from the two boys.

I did as fast as I could in the shower, and despite the short length, it was exactly what I needed. I walk out of the bathroom, already clad in my pajamas and ready for Ben's sleeping ritual. Ashton is humming a tune as he walks around the room with Ben in his arms, rubbing his back softly. "I thought I was supposed to be putting him to sleep." I whisper, not wanting to disturb the little guy. "I got carried away. Can you order food?" He asks, in the same hushed tone. "Still TexMex?" I ask, taking my phone from the nightstand where it was charging. "Yes. Get the usual, I think you have the order saved on the app. Ask for door delivery and pay with my credit card, so they don't ring the bell and wake the baby up. Ask for a text upon delivery." He whispers and I shake my head. "So bossy..." I mumble, and he shoots me a look. "I have no problem with your nephew crying all night if you don't have too..." He states, looking at Ben to see if he is asleep. "Ok, ok... A crying baby is the last thing on my checklist for tonight." I reply, writing the instructions for delivery in the special field.

"I think in a minute or two, he will be ready for bed." Ashton announces, bouncing the baby to lull him to sleep. "I will stay with him, you go shower." I reply, laying his bedding on my side of the bed. Thankfully, the bed is big enough for me to sleep comfortably along with Ashton on his side of the bed. "Once he is off, we can't get out of the room. We have to watch him so he doesn't roll over." I remind him and he nods. "So, we will eat in bed. And we will read that book you bought the other day until we are off too." He states, letting Ben on his mat. The baby continues sleeping, sucking on his pacifier rhythmically. "This is why I fell in love with you. You always find solutions." I say happily, making him turn his head and plant a soft peck on my lips. "I'll be right back." He whispers, walking towards the bathroom.

I watch as my nephew sleeps, pouting over how angelic he looks, how peaceful he is. I want a baby, and I want it now. I want to have a baby with Ashton, I want to raise a child with the love of my life, I just want it. It hurts me physically being in need of becoming a mother. "(Y/N)... (Y/N)? Do I flip the page?" Ashton nudges me, making me come out of my thoughts. "Hm?" "We have been on this page for a while? Did you read it? Should I change it?" He asks. "I am sorry, give me a minute." I start scanning the page, but Ashton shuts the book and leaves it on the bedside table. "You seem a bit off. Are you tired? Do you want to go to bed?" He asks me, kissing my temple. I shake my head, taking a breath. "I want a baby." I admit, moving so I can look him in the eye. "Now?" He asks, knitting his eyebrows together. "Don't make fun of me. I want us to have a baby. I know you practically raised your siblings, and then you raised the boys, and I know you needed a break from fatherhood when we got married, but I want to have a baby. I want us to grow this family. I want a baby because..." I go on and on, but Ashton just chuckles and reaches to cup my face. "(Y/N)... Let's have a baby." He says as if it is the simplest, most natural thing in the world. "You are serious?" I ask and he nods. "Very. And if we didn't have our nephew here tonight, I would show you how serious I am about having a baby with you." He winks at me, making my eyes go wide and earning a light slap on the shoulder. "Ashton..." I gasp and he shrugs. "What? You asked for a baby... I am just saying, we can start trying." He replies, pulling me in for a kiss. "You are going to be an amazing dad." I mumble against his lips before I rest my forehead on his. "Only because you are going to make an amazing mum." He kisses the tip of my nose while stroking his thumbs over my cheeks.

My Masterlist

[austarus]

Harrison Wells (Eobard Thawne) x Reader Ballistic Confrontations (1/3)

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif belongs to me!

Yes, I’m alive.

*TW: mentions of suicide, drowning, and cutting. Along with Eobard being a dramatic bitch*

Word Count: 3184

Part 2   Part 3

Felicity deadpanned with Harry beside her on one of the Cortex monitors. She had glanced to all her friends. “The bottom line is that we have to catch these parallel-earth goose-steppers.” Everyone was well aware of her dislike towards Nazi’s. The things they had done on this earth to her ancestors and to people like her. Utterly Disgusting.  

“This might help,” Barry stepped in, holding up a blood-stained arrow.

“Is that a kryptonite arrow?” Kara’s sister, Alex, unfurled her arms as she gently took the lethal arrow away from him.

“Yup,” Barry responded with a sigh, hands at his hips while the others rounded together. He felt exhausted from chasing around Eobard while Kara and Oliver dealt with their doppelgangers. Years later and he still wasn’t fast enough to stop the yellow speedster.

“I know I shouldn't have to ask this question, but I have to ask this question.” Felicity interjected with quick words; worry seeded in her chest. “Oliver didn't shoot Kara, did he?”

“Sort of,” Barry replied, further clarifying with a face. The days just keep getting worse and worse with these parallel-dimension-hoppers. “The other Archer and flying woman are Oliver and Kara of Earth-X.”

“When you said that Earth-X was horrible,” Caitlin glanced back at Harry, who had raised a hand in mock defeat, “you might have undersold it.”

“Wait a minute. How- how could there be another Kara?” Alex was thoroughly confused; she was still new to the concept of parallel earths doppelgangers.

“Well, there are 53 Karas, just like there's 53 Kryptons and 53 Earths.” Harry explained simply.

“And the Thawne from our earth is working with them.” Barry gave a look, clearly annoyed at the fact that Thawne was back. Again. Thawne coming back due to time travel and the Speedforce were already giving him a headache just thinking about it all over again.

Caitlin just gave Barry an incredulous look. “He's an idiot.” Harry plainly stated.

Felicity already was thinking up of ways to track them down. “Ok, if that arrow has not-so-Supergirl's blood on it, we c—"

“We could track it using quantum analysis.” Harry cut her off, but she just nodded at his words.

“We could.”

***___***

“Harry, Cait, Iris,” Barry unfurled his arms and gestured to them with his head for a sidebar. The others were busy with Alex in isolating the city for Kara-X’s radioactive blood signatures. Felicity’s specialty. After all, she was able to track a deranged killer with just his face cream. “Whatever happens, (Y/N) can’t know Thawne’s here.” Both scientists gave odd looks to each other at the speedster’s words.

“Barry she’s going to find out one way or another, she’s part of this team too,” Iris voiced, side-glancing the door as if you’d step in at any moment.

“If he’s working with them, she has the right to know.” Caitlin added. “She should know what to expect.”

“Allen, unless you decide to lock her up in the pipeline until this is all over, she’ll find out.” Harry said. “You can’t possibly hide this from her forever.” The genius scientist hinted at the fact that when Barry had run back in time last year, Thawne had been the one to ‘fix’ things when really, he had altered the timeline. A timeline created to suits him and his plans. Even going as far to tell Barry that this was how the timeline was supposed to be before Thawne had caused the alteration when he had time-traveled back to kill Nora and escalated into what is now Team Flash. Three different timelines had been created, but this one, according to Thawne, is how the original one should have been. Just with a few… absences… Like Eddie and Ronnie. Barry had never mentioned any of this to you or the fact that Thawne had ended up escaping him that night. The scarlet speedster did not want you looking for the man in the yellow suit. But it seems that fate’s not on Barry’s side this time.

“Harry, I can’t have her chasing after him. Not with all this going on,” Barry protested. “One maniacal problem at a time.”

“Whether she does or doesn’t is up to her, Allen. You’re not a god.” Harry pursed his lips before heading to the side lab.

Barry ran his tongue over his lips tightly, frowning deeply at the echoed words. He didn’t need this right now. Those words stung the speedster, mainly with the aftermath of his time remnant – Savitar - claiming god-hood, wanting to alter everything and anything in his way to stay alive. Even to kill the love of his life. Jay Garrick told him that when he ran back to this timeline a year ago. ‘We’re not gods, Barry.’

How did Wells know about that? Maybe he didn’t. But it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that time-traveling powers shouldn’t be abused like that. Yet… Thawne always gets away with it. He gets away with barely a scratch. I can be one step ahead, but he’ll be 15 steps further.

Caitlin gave her friend a sympathetic look, exchanging one with Iris. Alex and Felicity were still present in the room, but too preocuppied with their blood sample. Barry’s intentions made sense, but it was your decision whether to chase after Thawne or not. It’s your choice on whether you’d even side with him for this battle.

***___***

You had stood right outside the Cortex in the corridor, your feet stopped when you heard Barry announce that “Thawne is working with them”. Your heart got caught in your chest. Eobard was here. He was back. But why in the hell would he ever work with Nazis? Nazis? Seriously Eo??? What the absolute fuck? You knew Eobard never had a tolerance for people like that. People like Eiling or Stagg, who would “poke fun” at those with disabilities, even if he had feigned his inability to walk in the end. People who would intentionally use their status to torture others. It just goes to show how people with that kind of caliber would think. So why this sudden change? Not ‘why now’. No, why at all?? How could he have stooped so low? That idiot. Unacceptable.

But what ached the most was Barry’s words. He doesn’t trust me… Even after all these years. Your heart shook and eyes narrowed as your eyes peered at the light being cast from the Cortex. You took in a breath. Taking a quiet step back, your feet carried you to one of the higher levels of STAR Labs- one of the tower levels. Your quiet place of refuge when this had gotten too much, whether it was because the shadows kept you safe from judgment or not, you didn’t know. If he wants to act like that, then two can play this game, Bartholomew Henry Allen. You looked out onto the city, subconscious scanning every light – every street. Lights winked in and out, the night progressing as the city remained unaware of the new monsters it currently hid. But what am I going to do?

***___***

Iris rubbed her eyes before taking a step closer to her almost-husband. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“I can’t have (Y/N) fighting with us. Not now. Not in this battle.” Not when he’s lurking around.

“Why?”

“You know why? Thawne’s out there. Running, scheming.”

“So, you don’t trust her.” It was more of a statement rather than a question.

“Iris, she knew what he did to my mom. Lied to us about it for months back then and still chose Thawne when we locked him up. What makes this time different?”

“Barry, while all those sound like good points, first and foremost she’s our friend.” The speedster just shook his head, Iris huffed, “Look, it’s been -what?- 3? 4 years? Since she’d last been with him? Things have changed. You think after everything we’ve been through; she’ll throw that all away?”

“Yes! Old feelings come back; they always do and she’s going to get her revenge.”

“How do you know that? How do you know that she wants revenge?”

“Thawne will coax it out of her. He’s good at manipulating a person’s feelings.”

“And what would she get in the end?”

Barry didn’t answer her, instead he wrung his hands together.

“Barr, if she had wanted revenge, she would have done so already after the incident. But she didn’t. (Y/N) was depressed after Thawne was erased. Vulnerable. The love of her life was gone, just like that. Don’t you remember? How she wanted to end it all, but we stopped her.” Barry’s eyes flickered to the ground, remember the sight he had seen. Drowning. You were purposefully drowning yourself in your tub. The way your looked back at him- lifeless- when he had gotten you back to your senses. The blood the dripped, your cold skin. The monitor beeping every so often in the Cortex. Iris’ own mind shifted to when she had seen the scars littered on your arms when Caitlin had fully examined you. Your dull hair and gaunt face, nothing like the brilliant fire that rang through you months prior to Eobard’s erasure. “We helped her work through it when we found out. Caitlin and I looked after (Y/N) every second of the day until she was ready to get back on her two feet. And then Zoom happened and he was breaking you. Breaking your bones and your spirit- when you broke your back, she was all-hands-on-deck to step in and help in your place while still dealing with her own issues.”

“I know, it’s just- something just tells me otherwise with Thawne here.”

“Barry-”

“-She’s going to choose him, Iris. Nothing will change that. To her, everything we’ve been through until this point won’t mean anything. Not when Thawne’s at the end of the tunnel waiting for her. She’s going to choose him and help him.”

“But what if she doesn’t? What then, Barr?”

Barry just shrugged. “I-I don’t know, but I can’t take any chances. Not this time.” I can’t hesitate with Thawne here. One misstep and that’ll be all he needs to make his move.

Iris reached out to her fiancé, gently caressing his cheek. She knew that he won’t change his mind, no matter the reasons she could come up with. Barry thought in absolutes when it comes to Thawne. And your past emotional ties with the evil speedster only further drove his current mistrust. “Come on, we have to help the others.”

***___***

You threw the ball against the concrete wall opposite to you, all your strength forced into it. The stress ball ricocheted back to where you sat. You caught it with ease, giving it a firm squeeze as your eyes shut.

“How could you betray us? We were your friends, your family!-”

“You are-”

“We stood by you!”

“I just-”

“-Just what!? He took everything from me!”

You cringed at the voice from years past. Breathe in, breathe out.

“You’re just as guilty as him. No wonder, like calls to like.”

“I-”

“I don’t want your excuses.”

Breathe in, breathe out.

“I hope you rot with him.”

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Swallowing harshly, you did your breathing exercises to push Barry’s cold voice away. You had stolen the malleable ball from Harry- or rather, he had allowed you to take it from him. It was an unused gift from the others for Harry to deal with his anger issues. Instead of throwing beakers and graduated cylinders off desks, the Earth-2 scientist can simply channel his anger into this stress ball… Which had been a hard pass for him. Rather he preferred his method of anger outbursts, even if he did end up hurting himself in the process. So you put it to use instead; a tool for simple meditation, as well as the redirecting your certain senses. It’s made of rubber polymer so your electrokinesis didn’t harm your new toy in any way.

Your eyes lingered back onto the city, your arm hanging over your bent leg while your other remained outstretched. No good in hiding up here forever, it’ll make things more suspicious. Not like Barry isn’t suspecting anything anyway. But you had needed time to think, to collect your thoughts and assess what actions you would take. You touched the necklace Eobard had made for you in rich gold- a Columba. It’s a constellation signifying the dove in astrology as he always called you his little birdy. But also, because gave him a sense of peace which the dove has generally symbolized fore. A finger ran over the one of the six diamonds that twinkled for the constellation, connected to each by a trail of gold. Eobard. Licking your lips, you got up, you pocketed your ball and brushed any dust particle from your leggings.

Upon entering the Cortex, a group of heroes left: Oliver, Kara, Barry, Sara, and so on. Barry had shoved past you, your eyes meeting briefly as you raised an eyebrow. His expression was guarded, but you said nothing.

“I’m guessing they’re going on a little midnight excursion?” You turned to Felicity and Iris with a thumb pointing in their direction. Mick was nowhere to be found so you can assume he’s already raided the lounge fridge. Caitlin had already prepped the med bay for incoming injuries, which isn’t an uncommon expectation, but wasn’t in the Cortex.

“Ding ding ding, you’re correct,” Felicity piped up, typing away at her computer screen. She was already hacking into cameras around the warehouse as the inside had ones out of commission. “The remaining Legends are to be on standby, should something happen during the warehouse fight. Per Sara’s orders.” At least Felicity isn’t treating you any differently, especially with how close she is to Barry. He probably told her to.

“And we’re going to be…?” You raised an eyebrow, a bit offended no one decided to volunteer you for the fight. You wanted to kick some Nazi ass too. Fry those fuckers. Guess Barry told them all to not trust me. Great, thanks Barr. Bitterness welled up inside but didn’t show it. Felicity and Iris aren’t the ones to be at odds with. Maybe it’s a good thing if Eo’s there. Barry would have his eyes all over your interaction with him.

“Just doing some monitoring and staying on comms. The usual Overwatch stuff,” Felicity smiled up at you then quickly turned to her tech. You could tell that her mind was wondering. About what? You had no clue and decided it’d be best to not involve yourself should things go sour if you did and Barry would find a reason to blame you.

No, this reunion needed to be on the downlow. One away from prying eyes. Your eyes drifted to Iris’ back in a subtle manner before pulling out your phone to check the time.

“Where’s Harry?” You asked, if anything he was one of the people who hadn’t seen you for just your past. Didn’t care for it as Zoom terror and Jesse’s rescue were more pressing matters. And you had seen him for more than a doppelganger to Eobard, even if their tendencies and bristliness seemed similar. Harry was Harry and Eobard was Eobard. Both were their own men, it wasn’t that hard to see and understand. He had done his own share of horrors and dark deeds for Jesse that Harry was dealing with his own darkness, while your demons haunted you. In an odd way, you both understood one another. Begrudgingly at first, though. Plus, you needed to return the stress ball back to him, thinking he’d need it now with Thawne around. If anything, you found it funny how Harry got mad when people would call Thawne a Wells. The Wells doppelganger would spectacularly blow up, which was always a site to see. Though you were hoping the two would never meet. You chewed on the inside of your cheek on how that interaction could possibly go. Would you-

“He’s probably back in his lab,” Iris spoke up from the other side of the Cortex, padding up to you. You nodded at her, mind drifting once more as you strolling to the Cortex exit. Harry could hold his own, but up against Eo, with all his speed… You’d choose-

“Hey,” Iris stopped you, snapping you out of your thoughts and placing a hand on your arm. You blinked. A small smile was woven on her face, one of those comforting smiles that said that you can come to her for anything… But could you?

“Hey,” you returned it, feigning any indication that you had overheard what Barry had said earlier. Schooling your features, you calmed your nerves. I’ve done this before. Pretended not to know. I can do it again. I can’t trust no one, and it seems like no one can trust me. I’ll be the actress again in this drama, spun by Barry this time.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Sure”

Iris was perceptive, she didn’t miss the slight strain in your voice. The guarded look that the young journalist had become accustomed to receiving when approaching you. There were times where she’d realize you were walking on eggshells with her. Because of Barry. Because of the serrated words he had thrown at you like knives all those times ago. But there were times where all was well with the world, the past forgotten and the strength of your friendship with the team more prominent than ever.  Then again, having Nazi’s return and who are hell bent on ruling this Earth by eradicating its heroes then move on to the next Earth in the multiverse does tend to throw tension into the air. Iris bit her lip. Especially if she doesn’t know about Thawne.

“(Y/N), look there’s… there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“…”

“Iris, is something wrong? Are you ok?”

She noted sincerity on your face. “Thawne’s here.”

You pursed your lips, internally confused. “Iris-”

“And he’s fighting with the Earth-Xers.”

“I… what?!” Your rage was not false. Sure you knew about it earlier, but now it was necessary to unleash it. It’d make your surprise all the more legit.

“I needed you to know,” Iris swallowed.

“How?”

“When Barry, Oliver, and Kara intercepted their heist.”

“…” It was your turn to be silent. You knew, but you had to play a little longer until you could leave.

“I trust you, ok?”

“But” You knew there was a ‘but’. There always is one. Iris blinked, opening her mouth a few times then looking away before meeting your gaze once more.

“But I need to know you’re with us on this.”

Your eyes never left hers, your hand was held in both of hers. Before you could even respond an alarm had gone off. Both your necks snapped to Felicity, who snapped up from her sitting position.

“That was the corridor alarm.” Fear crippled its way in the air. “This is a setup.”

[waka-nii]

the horny bitch in me decided it was time for some hajime-nii // 2,7k words

cw: nsfw - fem!reader, incest, dubcon, manipulation, oral (male receiving), prostitution.

"Why am I doing this?" You muttered to yourself, hearing the sound of the shower in the room of the fanciest hotel you've ever been to. You're sitting on the king size bed, waiting for the man in the bathroom to join you. Who was it again? "Just an old associate" your brother told you when asking for this favor. You were to "seduce him, lure him to room 204 and have sex with him" easy, right? Your dear brother would take care of the rest. Apparently, they needed some shade on him and his wife was a wealthy woman who prided herself on the beautiful marriage they had, so what better than blackmailing him with footage of his affair with a much younger and prettier woman? Kokonoi Hajime always has his eyes on the money, and this was a big jackpot at the low price of whoring his sister to a perverted old man.

"You'll do this for me, right? You know how Sanzu does things. I don't want this bastard dead until I squeeze all his money out." he told you, cupping your face lovingly. "You're the only one I can trust with this. You'll get your part, I promise."

Now you wish Sanzu had gotten word of this first. How are you going to do this? This man does not attract you in the slightest. He's old, saggy and you're not sure if his teeth are even real. At least you managed to convince him to take a shower first.

"Are you ready, princess?" you cringe at the nickname.

"Of course, sir. I've been waiting." Please God make this quick "You can use my body as you please"

"Come here, let me see you" The man says, motioning for you to come closer. You do as he says, laying on top of his almost bare body. You can feel how hard he is already, grabbing your ass as soon as he can reach. He looks at you and points to his lower parts. You take the hint and bring yourself lower to take off his underwear. Your face just inches from his member, you close your eyes and hope you can get through this. Giving this old man head was never in your plans, but you'd do anything to help Hajime-nii. Ah, Hajime-nii. His face pops up in your mind, his soft lips, his beautiful slanted eyes that always look at you with such tenderness. Prompted by his image, your mouth starts working eagerly on the man's cock. Not wanting to open your eyes and ruin the fantasy, you keep sucking breathlessly. You don't know if you're trying to make the man finish as soon as possible or the image of Hajime-nii in your head is making you start to enjoy this. Just as you start to think about it, the man aggresively grabs your head, pushing you down on his cock and cumming down your throat. Thank God that's over.

"Good girl, you did great." He says, smiling at you. Ugh, you never thought you'd be disgusted hearing those words. They sounded so good out of Hajime-nii's mouth, yet here you were, grossed out by the sound of them.

"Take off your clothes, sweetheart" Please stop with the nicknames. "Get on top of me" You do as he says, taking off the tight dress you wore, of course, courtesy of your dear older brother. Sighing, you lower yourself on him. You wait for a second, expecting him to do something, but he just looks at you expectantly.

"Fuck yourself on my cock, doll." Fuck, no. Not even a finger? Now you've done it. You see, you didn't tell anyone you were still a virgin. Not the man, not Hajime-nii. You were afraid you'd disappoint your brother, so you kept it to yourself. Taking some old dude shouldn't hurt too much, right?

"What are you waiting for?" You gulp and take a deep breath before finally positioning yourself and taking him all at once. You thought rushing it would make it more bearable, but now you're regretting it, tears forming in your eyes from the pain. The man groans and says something about you being untouched. To be honest, you're too focused on the pain to even hear what he says. Taking another deep breath, you start moving, grinding yourself on the man's member. The next few minutes are a blur. The pain, the suffering and the embarrassment of the situation make it hard to concentrate on anything.

"Damn, that was good. Guess I'll have to pay extra for being your first." The man says, winking at you. His voice brings you back to reality and you realize you're laying on the bed, make up ruined by the tears and completely exposed to the man that just took your virginity. He's already getting dressed again, nonchalantly tying his tie and grabbing his things, leaving a stack of bills on the nightstand before walking through the door without saying a word. Your hand immediately reaches for your phone, shaky hands scrolling through your contacts.

Hajime-nii 💞

Call.

Koko picks up at the second tone. His voice always manages to calm you down.

"What's up?" he says "Is it done?" You make an effort of holding back your tears.

"Yeah. Can you pick me up?" You say.

"Got it. I'll be there in 20. Order yourself some nice champagne, you deserve it." With that, he hangs up. You put down your phone and make your way to the bathroom. Normally you'd be so excited, filling the hot tub and getting in while you call room service and order the most expensive item on the menu, but now all you could do was look at your tired face in the mirror. You wash your face and take some deep breaths. Your brother can't see you like this. You decide you should take a short shower before he arrives, so you turn on the water and get in.

The water hits your skin with a force you didn't think was possible. Every part of your body hurts, and you can't stop the tears anymore. You let yourself cry under the hot water for a good five minutes before washing your body. You scrub with force, trying to get the memories off your skin but no matter how many times you soap and rinse, you can't get the feeling off. You feel dirty, and you can't do anything to clean that. Just as your thoughts start to consume you, you hear a knock on the door.

"Y/n? You there?" Hajime's voice coming from the other side is a much needed relief. You open the door, still wrapped in the hotel's white towel.

"You're still like that? Come on, put something on, we have to go." You nod as you disappear to the bathroom to put on your dress.

"Ready?" Koko says, sitting on the same bed you lost your innocence on.

"Yeah, let's go." You say while bolting out the door, saying goodbye forever to that damn room.

The ride home was silent. Koko drove as you quietly looked out the window. He must've sensed something was wrong, because he drove directly to his house, not stopping to drop you at yours. You silently thank him for this but decide not to comment on it, and neither does he. When you arrive, he opens the door and lets you in.

"Go to sleep, you must be tired." You nod and head to the guest room. Well, it wasn't really a guest room since you were the only one who stayed there. It was full of your things, it felt just like home. Maybe even more. You lay on your bed, not bothering to get in the sheets. In the dark of the night and the comfort of your room, you let the tears that were forming in your eyes out at last. How did you let things get like this? This was your fault, wasn't it? This is the only thing you were good at. You followed orders just to make everyone happy and waited for the much desired praise. Pathetic. Your thoughts quickly spiraled to a dark place and you started to feel out of breath. You sobbed, hiding your face in the pillow and gripping the sheets with force.

"Y/n..." you hear your name coming from the door. When you lift your head, Hajime is already sitting by your side. "What's wrong? Talk to me."

"Hajime-nii..." You can't even look at him in the eyes. Koko cups your face in his hands, making you look at him.

"You should've told me you didn't want to do it." He says, anguish evident in his eyes.

"I wanted to. I wanted to be useful to you. I wanted to be something good in your life." You say through the tears.

"Baby, you're the best thing in my life. You're my perfect little sister and it will always be like that." Hajime hugs you, resting your head on his chest. With his gaze no longer on you, he notices a red stain on the sheets. His heart stops for a second, realizing what had you so upset.

"Hey, baby, look at me." He takes your face in his hands once again. "Was this your first time?" You nod.

"Y/n, you should've told me. I would've never let that fucking bastard take your virginity." His heartbeat gets increasingly faster. "Why didn't you say anything!?" He raises his tone and you wince in reflex.

"I'm sorry..." You say lowering your head.

"Shh, hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay? I'm here now." His voice softens once again. "Does it hurt?" You nod and lay your head on his shoulder.

"Tell me where it hurts." Hajime kisses your temple. "Tell nii-san where he hurt you." He takes your hand in his and looks at you. You guide his hand to your chest and lay it on your breasts, the thin fabric of the old t-shirt he gave you being the only thing keeping his skin from touching yours.

"Did he hurt you here? Grabbed you too hard?" You nod, feeling his hypnotizing gaze on you. Koko lays you down softly on the silk sheets he got for you. He hovers over you and lifts your shirt slowly, allowing you time to stop him if you wish, but you let him continue. Bringing his lips to your waist, he kisses your stomach as he continues to push your shirt over your breasts. He leaves a trail of kisses going up your bust and takes your nipple into his mouth, softly running his tongue through your bud. Leaving some more kisses in the area, he looks up at you.

"Better?" You nod. "Does it hurt anywhere else?" You nod once again. "Show me." You take your brother's hand in yours and guide it to your lower area. Where a few hours ago you only felt a sharp pain now there is a heat growing with every touch.

"My baby... I shouldn't have let someone else take your virginity. I should've been your first." Rubbing your heat through your panties, Hajime kisses your lips softly. "You're too pure for this world. I'm not letting that happen again, okay? I promise." You nod, trying to focus on his words, but his touch is getting more and more satisfying. Your brother knows what he's doing to you. He knows how good he's making you feel, and he's not going to let anyone else see you like this ever again. Hajime removes your underwear and brings his hand to your mouth. You lick his fingers, getting impatient. He brings his hand to your cunt once again and spreads your folds. The sensation of his fingers massaging your clit feels so good you're almost forgetting your earlier experience. His movements are slow and sensual, treating you like the most delicate being. Your moans and whines are like music to his ears. His sweet little sister falling apart from his touch, there was nothing compared to that. He presses soft kisses to your temple as he inserts a finger in your cunt, making your moans get louder and louder.

"Shh, it's okay baby." He breathes against your ear. "Nii-san's gonna erase every trace of that man on your body." Those words combined with his touch make you fall over the edge, feeling the knot on your lower stomach come undone on his fingers.

"That's it, baby, you're doing so good." His words are so similar to the man's earlier yet they have a completely different effect on you. "You wanna make nii-san feel good too?"

"Y-yeah... I wanna make nii-san feel good." You say looking up at him, mesmerized by how good he looked right now. His long hair was sticking to his forehead, where small beads of sweat were forming. You can't recall when exactly he took off his shirt, exposing his svelte chest. He looked ethereal right now. You couldn't wrap your head around the fact that you're in the same situation as this evening, yet it feels so perfect now. Koko places himself between your legs, looking at you with a smile on his face.

"It won't hurt this time, I promise." he says as he lines up his cock with your entrance. "Tell me if you want to stop, okay?" You nod and he pushes himself slowly into you. You let out a squeak at the feeling and he chuckles at your reaction.

"You feel so good around nii-san's cock." Hajime says as he sinks the rest of his length into you. "God, how did we not do this earlier?" He moans in your ear, the sound of his voice making you clench around him.

"Is it alright if I move now?" You hear the impatience in his voice. Nodding, you lift your hand to his cheek. He smiles at the gesture and kisses your palm as he carefully thrusts his hips into you. You can't do anything but moan and quiver below him, too dazed to form a thought in your head.

"You're doing so good baby- Fuck... fuck, you feel so good." Koko rests his forehead against yours before kissing your lips. He swallows all your sounds, exploring your mouth with his tongue. He moans against your lips, moving his hips faster.

"Nii-san... Gonna cum..." You breathe out, feeling that familiar heat once again.

"That's good, baby. Come on, cum for me. Cum for nii-san." His thrusts get harder and deeper, making you cum for a second time tonight. Your cunt tightens around him as you climax, making him reach his own.

"Ah, fuck..." Hajime pulls out of you and with some strokes of his hand releases all over your stomach. He catches his breath for a second, admiring the masterpiece before his eyes. His sweet baby sister was now marked by him, and he'd never let anyone else touch you now that he's had a taste of you.

"Are you okay?" He asks. You nod, too tired to move your limbs. "I'm gonna get something to wipe that off, yeah? Koko walks to the closet and grabs a towel, then wets it a bit in the sink of your en-suite bathroom. He cleans his cum off your body. He thinks it looks so good on you, but right now you're looking so drained from the crazy day you had. Well, he can always do that again. Maybe take some pictures for his own enjoyment, too.

"Hajime-nii, this... This isn't normal." You say. What you just did definitely wasn't normal, yet it felt so good. "It's wrong."

"Wrong?" He lays down beside you. "Tell me something, baby, did it feel good?"

"Yeah, it felt good..." you say as you let him take you into his arms.

"Then there's nothing wrong with it. Nothing could possibly be wrong if it makes my sweet little sister feel good." His words make you blush. "Look at me baby" he holds your chin directing your gaze at his. "I took your first time, okay? I was your first. Not that man, not anyone else. It was me. Understand?" You nod.

"You took my first time, nii-san." He smiles at you, patting your head.

"That's my girl. Now go to sleep, you're really tired." Hajime lays your head on the pillow.

"Don't leave" You say.

"I'm not going anywhere, babygirl. Now sleep, I'll be right here when you wake up." Your brother lays by your side, putting his arm around you to run his hand trough your hair. "Sweet dreams."

[babylooneytoonz]

the Vessel [ Pt. 14 ]

— pairing: Geralt of Rivia x reader

— summary: You, Geralt and Jaskier are on the road again, and something is on the Witcher's mind. How would you react to it?

— warnings: a lot of fluff🥺

*Please reblog if you like it, do not repost or claim my work as yours.

[My Masterlist] [My Witcher Masterlist - Read the other parts here!]

"I'm still here, you know?" Jaskier deadpanned, kicking a stone that came his way, cradling his long lost lute like a baby.

You chuckled at his words and sunk back into your lover's arms, who was seated on the mare behind you, your head now resting against his sturdy chest as you looked up at him and he looked down at you, smirking slightly.

"Come on Geralt, Jaskier's jealous. He thinks you've stopped focusing on him now that I'm here," you giggled playfully as Geralt shook his head, amused and craned his neck slightly, giving your earlobe a bite.

"Well, I'm not jealous, but I definitely feel like a third wheel, and in dire need of an inn—"

"Or a brothel," you added, and Geralt hummed in agreement with you, his thick, veiny arms locking around your now wide girth making you feel ticklish and squirm, "On a serious note, Geralt. Can we stop? I really need to take a piss. And a bath."

"Gosh, [Y/N]." Jaskier pretended to cover his ears dramatically, "You're the Princess of Cintra!"

"So?" You scowled, taking your foot out of the saddle and jutting out your leg so you could kick your friend's bottom but he dodged it, "Do princesses not take a piss? Besides, I am not a Princess anymore."

"What?" Geralt and Jaskier said out loud, together. And you nodded. Whelp. In all the drama, you had forgotten to actually tell them why you had run away. Or that— you had run away.

"Well, I sort of left it?" You drawled, absentmindedly and Geralt nudged you slightly, looking down at you, concerned.

"Why?" He raised a brow.

"Well, it seems that not only did the Witcher had some things to hide," Jaskier began, and you glared at him, "by the looks of it, you have something to tell us [Y/N]?"

You scowled, running your hand sheepishly through your hair and began clearing your throat, when Jaskier interrupted, "Don't tell me Queen Calanthe decided to name your baby Podrick."

You gave him a look of disbelief at first; but couldn't keep a straight face, as you bursted out laughing.

"What's wrong with the name Podrick for a boy?" You asked, wiggling your brows at him, and Geralt shook his head, faintly, silently amused.

"Well, Princess [Y/N], if you have a boy, you are naming him after me. Jaskier, obviously?" He smiled at you, wiggling his brows in retaliation.

"Or maybe, Dandelion?" You began, and both Jaskier and Geralt muttered, "No." At the same time.

"I won't have my son named after a flower, for fucks sake," he grumbled under his breath, and you pouted, pushing out your lower lip as you felt Geralt's palm ghost over your belly, protectively securing his palm over the bulge of it and you smiled.

"What happened in Cintra?" Geralt suddenly asked, manouvring the conversation back to where it had started from, and you looked down at your hands, rubbing them against the fabric of your dress.

"Mother wanted me to marry Foltest."

Upon hearing your words, the Witcher stiffened, his hand slowly pulling away. Suddenly, he tugged at Roach's reins so hard, the poor mare stopped."Ouch," you cursed under your breath, and then tried to pacify the sudden uncomfortable silence between the three of you by making small talk, "What?"

"I'm sorry but your mother wanted you to marry that sister fucker? Isn't that right Geralt?" Jaskier nudged your foot that was in the saddle and you sighed, your shoulders tensing slightly. Geralt was morosely quiet, and although he was a man of few words, you felt like this revelation was going to stop the progress that he was making with you.

"She thought that's the only way to protect me. And this baby. Because a lot of enemies will want to get their hands on me. Although, it's stupid, right? I mean, I have Geralt to take care of me," you muttered absentmindedly, staring at the flock of birds that flew past your mare.

It was only when Geralt cleared his throat, a little to coursely, that you craned your neck slightly towards him and noticed how his jaw had clenched, and he was fisting the reins in his grip.

"Shall we move on? We should reach a village in an hour or two. We can see if an inn can accomodate us," he bluntly added, and you blinked, looking down at Jaskier and giving him a questioning look.

Lucky for the three of you, the three of you reached a nearby village sooner than you had expected. By that time, you were exhausted; your body sore at all the odd spots that you couldn't even put a name to or say it out loud. Geralt helped you get off Roach, his movements being tender, but he did not even once, try to talk to you.

The three of you entered the tavern, Jaskier leading the way in while you waddled through in the middle, as much as your bump allowed you to move. Geralt was in the extreme end, and you couldn't see much of him, or hear from him, except for a few occasional grunts you received.

Geralt got the three of you the last of the two rooms that were available and Jaskier disappeared into the first one, leaving you and Geralt to settle down in your own shared room.

You sat down by the edge of the bed, the bed creaking when you put your weight on it. Geralt placed his sword by the chair, before his hands came to rest against the fabric of his shirt and he started prying it off.

"Are you going to say something?" You finally asked, pulling both your hands together and rubbing them as though you were cold, "You've been sulking ever since I told you about what happened in Cintra."

Geralt grunted under his breath, and instead of replying to you, he moved past you to where a metal bathing tub, big enough to fit in the two of you, had already been set out, the water warm, and steam arising out of it. Geralt lowered his slacks, letting it fall to the floor as he stepped out of it, practically ignoring you. You could hear the sound of him wading into the water.

Sighing to yourself, you slowly lifted yourself off the edge of the bed, and turned to face the witcher, who was now seated against the tub, his arms holding the sides of the tub as he looked at you. Slowly, you let your tunic drop to the floor as you stepped out of it. It would have been a lie to say that you felt sexy, especially with your baloon belly that didn't let you look down at your feet. But you really needed that warm bath, to cure the soreness you were feeling.

Geralt threw out his palm towards you when he saw you step into the bathtub and you were thankful for it. He helped you get in and finally, you settled yourself in between the Witcher's legs, letting the back of your head rest against his sturdy chest, feeling the rise and the fall of it, "You're angry with me."

"Not with you. I'm just angry in general," Geralt retorted, and you couldn't help but roll your eyes at him.

"I'm not marrying Foltest. You should know that. Not after all that happened between us." You stared at the ceiling, while Geralt scooped some water into his palms and poured them on top of your head, trying to give you a head bath.

"When you said that, it got me thinking," Geralt suddenly began, as his fingers began to lather against your wet hair, his fingers rubbing through your scalp, making all the tension and the knots in your body melt away, but what words followed afterwards, only made the tension once again spiral back, "What happens once you give birth? Will you and the baby travel and be on the roads with a fucking Witcher? Who cannot settle in one place?"

"Geralt, where is all this coming from?" You turned to face him, letting your legs slide behind his body, with your baby bump now between you and his body forming a shield around it.

"Just got me thinking.. what kind of a life am I gonna be able to give you?"

Your fingers were now drawing intrinsic patterns over his chest, but your eyes were looking into his, trying to reach out to the man that hid beneath the facade of a cold, unemotional Witcher, "I don't care Geralt, all I know is that I want you."

"I want you too but I am thinking of your future." He said, stroking the side of your face with his wet thumb.

"I don't care if our love's forbidden, all I care about is that I want to be with you, I want us to raise our baby together," you slowly dropped your hand into the water, your hand finding his as you clasped your fingers with his and pulled out his hand. You brought it up to your baby bump, placing your hand tenderly over his. Geralt's breathing hitched, his huge palm draped protectively over your unborn baby and you smiled at him.

"I'm scared I will disappoint you. We Witchers weren't exactly meant to be domestic," He brought your palm up to his lips and planted a warm, chaste kiss on the inside of your palm, "I'm going to disappoint you and our baby. And you're going to hate me for the life I couldn't give you."

"No you won't. You underestimate yourself. You might be intimidating and cold on the exterior Geralt, but you—" Your smile widened, and Geralt popped his brow up, waiting for you to continue, "You are one big softie secretly."

"No, I'm not," he said, sounding fake serious.

"Oh yes, you are. You're a big bear," you playfully pulled your hand away from his, and splashed him with water. His eyes widened when the splash hit him, his lips pursing together.

"Geralt, I — I'm sorry."

"Oh, no love. This is war."

Geralt used his two hands to scoop as much water as he could and splashed you back and you let out a playful screech, "Geralt!"

"What? You called it. Come on now."

Geralt towered over the bathtub, the towel wrapped securely around his waist, covering his manhood, droplets of water rolling down his chest and his calves. He threw out a palm towards you and you whined; the water was too soothing for your exhausted body and you didn't want to get out. But there was no standing against the White Wolf. He slowly helped you up, making you stand, and carefully holding you by your waist so you didn't slip, as the pads of your feet were wet; he waited patiently for you to step out.

"Worried I'll catch a cold? I'm stronger that that." You drawled as you placed your hand into his.

Once you were out, he slowly turned you towards him to face him and wrapped a towel around your frame, using it to tap dry you all over.

"You pamper me, love," you smiled, letting your palm rest against your chest as he now worked to dry your hair.

"This is nothing compared to the happiness you are gifting me with."

You gave him a weak smile as you sat down by the edge of the bed, and slid into your comfortable slip, pulling it over your face and your neck, letting your eyes shut. After a few seconds, you opened your eyes, only to find the Witcher kneeling down between your legs, his eyes on your belly.

"You would never have been possible if it wasn't for your mother," Geralt whispered to your stomach in a tender way, momentarily glancing up into your eyes.

"Mhm, don't listen to the crap this man is feeding you with, Podrick."

"Not with that name again, [Y/N]." Geralt grumbled under his breath, but you could see a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. He let his forehead rest against your bump as he fluttered his eyes shut and inhaled your sweet fragrance, his hands holding you from your hips, "Besides, I have a feeling it's going to be a little girl, with eyes like her mother. She is going to take over on you. Not that I would have it any other way."

"Oh, Witcher, my Witcher ," You pulled him up to sit next to you as you leaned in to kiss him, and he slowly arched forward, his lips melting into yours as he mumbled between the kiss, "You might be a future Queen of Cintra, but you are my queen this day forward."

When you pulled apart, licking your lips, tasting the aftermath of Geralt's lips on you, you suddenly grabbed his wrists, and smiled cheekily, "let me do your braids, love."

"Go to sleep," he grumbled, moving away but you caught his hand again, giving him a sad pout, "Please?"

"Fine," he grumbled as he sat down on the floor in front of you, his back turned towards you, his elbows resting on his knees as he turned his gaze to the side, instead of turning to face you completely, "only this once." He turned back around, a small smile playing on his lips. Who was he kidding, he wanted you to braid his hair every single day. He fluttered his eyes shut, letting out an exhale as your fingers dug through his scalp, pulling his hair back.

Geralt woke up rather abruptly.

He sat up in bed, squirming slightly but when he turned towards you, sleeping peacefully on your side, your arm protectively draped over your beautiful bump, his heart swelled twice the size it was. You looked so innocent, so pure and you were his.

Gently, he pried the covers off, sliding his feet to the edge until the pads of his feet were resting against the cold ground. He stood up, and grabbed his discarded clothes that were strewn all over the floor, sliding into his slacks before he pulled his crumpled tunic over his head.

He turned to look at your sleeping form once before he slowly walked out of the bedroom, ensuring to let the door close as quietly as possible.

He dragged himself downstairs. He was starving after the night, but all he needed was a pitcher of ale to set him up. The tavern was empty, except for one or two men who did not have a steady job, so they had found themselves drinking at the tavern. The usual rush came in the evening.

Holding his pitcher in his left hand, he made his way to a table in the back, that overlooked the window. He sat down, huddling in a corner, bringing the pitcher up to his lips, when someone slammed himself in the chair in front of him.

"Rough night?"

"Speak for yourself, Jaskier, " Geralt smirked, as he brought the pitcher to his lips, eyeing him.

"Why on earth do you think I am hiding in a corner like this?" Jaskier blinked, wiggling his brows.

"Jaskier, don't drag me into the messes you create," Geralt hummed, taking a sip of the ale.

"You look different. You have a glow. Now I am curious. Did [Y/N] give you a beauty treatment?" He said smugly, letting his elbows rest against the table as he grabbed a piece of meat and tossed it into his mouth.

When Geralt didn't reply, Jaskier arched his body even more forward, leaning almost close to Geralt and Geralt scowled.

"I see you let her braid your hair."

"Fuck off," Geralt murmured, tight-lipped. He would have said more, but something in the back caught his attention, and his jaw dropped. Jaskier, following Geralt's gaze, slowly turned towards the direction where Geralt was looking at and that's when he saw what he was staring at— it was you.

You were standing by the counter, in a long, flowy dress, a beautiful white flower fixed to your hair, talking to the owner of the tavern. You slowly looked up from whatever you were talking to the owner about, and as though you had felt his eyes on him, you looked right at Geralt, the corners of your lips tugging into a warm smile. Jaskier looked from you back to Geralt, noting the smile that had formed on his friend's lips as you made your way towards him.

"Morning, husband. What do we have in here for breakfast? Your baby is starving," you gave Jaskier a wink, and Jaskier's jaw dropped, as he spat out the ale that he was drinking, splashing it all over the table, coughing and hitting his chest as though something was lodged into his throat.

You and Geralt looked at each other, and Geralt sat back, patting on his thigh as you sat doen on his lap, and Geralt locked his arm around you. "What did you say?" Jaskier asked, standing up, his hands on his hips, "HUSBAND?! You're married now? What happened in that bedroom last night?"

"Words, words, words and confessions?" Geralt's arm held you steady on his lap and you turned towards him, your nose touching his as you bit your lip, "Well, the Butcher of Blaviken declared he wanted to live his action packed life with me."

Geralt grumbled under his breath; and you kissed the tip of his nose, biting it teasingly, "Now husband? Where's the food?"

Geralt smacked your thigh playfully, and you immediately stood up, before Geralt was up too, "On it, woman."

A/N: okay for those who are wondering if they missed a chapter in between, wherein they got married then no you did not. I didn't write their wedding descriptively. They got married at the inn during the night, which I chose not to write because I had no freaking idea how to😂

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[bonecorn]

I love your anatomy/references posts & I love skulls and skeletons & I would love to know how you convince people to give you their animal heads to clean. Also any bone cleaning tips for suburban areas?? When I was living on a farm it was easy to leave stuff out and let the bugs take care of it but my parents said hard no to dead things bleaching on the porch

Oh this is very easy!

Find a friend or acquaintance with land and leave your stuff there. Bug cleaning and tub maceration don't need a lot of hands-on attendance so you can check in however often you like.

There's also "hot water maceration" where you simmer (dont boil!) fresh heads in hot water and remove the cooked meat by hand. Make sure you scramble the brains first and then cook away inside or with a camping stove on the porch. And "bleaching" which is done with hydrogen peroxide can be done inside since the skulls are already clean by then anyway.

I don't actually convince people to give me their pets. For livestock, I ask because most people aren't emotionally attached to their livestock.

For pets, I wait to be offered the remains. More on that under the cut.

TLDR: Know the pet owner, wait to be offered bodies rather than asking. Make sure they are always in control. Ask for livestock no problem. Don't let scavengers eat euthanized meat.

holy crap lol

I don't ask for pet bodies. The trick is to be very open and excited about what you do so that people who know you know about bones and know that you are respectful of animal remains. Then, when a beloved pet dies, they might think about you.

Open up the conversation on death before it's relevant

You can also plant the seed ahead of time during a conversation about bones while the pet in question is alive and healthy. "Sometimes I do pets if their owner is ok with it, though most want to bury. Have you ever thought about that for Baxter?" It's in SUPER poor taste to do this while an animal is dying, when you'll need to be way more tactful.

Know your friend well enough to guess their feelings on it

It SUPER depends on the person and how they view bodies and death. My ex's dog passed away and he was always queasy about corpses. I comforted him and cried with him while his beloved 15 year old dog declined and passed. I didn't ask or even mention it because I knew him enough to know that he would say no, and that asking would be painful and upsetting for him to think about. Same with my dear friend and her 20 year old cat. She had a beautiful pet graveyard with headstones and everything. You just know not to ask some people because traditionally laying bodies to rest is important to them.

Other pet owners are chill about it, ESPECIALLY if they come from a livestock background. Livestock people are used to sending their animals to be recycled into glue and wax when they die, because it's generally not feasible to bury or cremate a horse. If someone does plan to take that on, you know they are absolutely dedicated to traditional burial and won't give you anything.

Make it their choice to offer, rather than it being your request

Anyway. If you know the person, and you know they might be ok with giving up their pet's body due to how they view bodies and death, then you work on making them think about you. First, you comfort and do everything you can to help the person through their grief. If you weren't already planning on doing that, then you have no business asking for their pet. Do not comfort someone in order to get something out of them. That's disgusting. Just straight up ask them for their pet and know that they will view you as tactless and rude, but its better than manipulating them.

What I do is not manipulation, it's reminding people what you do and then letting them make their own decisions. When your friend is feeling a little better and is not crying, you can ask about logistics. I ask "What do you plan to do for burial/with the body?" and that usually makes them think about me and what I do with bodies. If they already have a meaningful spot picked out to bury or scatter/keep ashes, then that means the body is important to them and I shouldn't ask further.

At this point, they should realize what you could use the body for and think about how they feel about that. This is when my sister (who has a livestock background) offered her dog to me. We talked about how she thought of bodies, and she thought that the soul is the only thing that matters and once her dog passes there's nothing important left. I did not say anything to convince her, these were all her own thoughts.

It's very VERY important to respect and love the pet owner because they're extremely vulnerable and emotionally raw. That's why I don't straight up ask, because when you're losing a pet, you don't want to feel like someone is trying to gain something from you.

If your friend says they don't know or haven't decided what to do for the body, you can gently say "Let me know if you want me to help bury it, to take it with me, or to just be there for you." This is a close-ended statement and not a question. A question means that your friend has to come up with an answer right there and then, while an offer is actionable. This puts the power and autonomy in your friend's hands, so that when they make a decision it comes fully from their wants and needs and is not about you and what you want.

Be there for them even if you get nothing out of it

If they don't offer at this point, they're not going to. Now hold up your end of the bargain and continue to comfort and help through the grieving process. Again, if you aren't already invested in this person enough to want to soothe and comfort and be there for the human person in the equation, then you have no business asking for their pet. When a pet dies, your first concern should be to the person. If it's not, then you aren't close enough to ask for goodies.

Helping someone grieve is not payment for their pet's body. If you realize they aren't going to give you something in return for your comfort and so you abandon them, you're a terrible person using their grief to manipulate them for your own gain. Comfort is not payment. Closeness in grief is a metric by which you measure "Do I have any business to ask?"

The pet owner runs the show, not you

Throughout this process, stress that the owner can change their mind at any time. You don't want the owner to think "I hate this but I can't back out now because I promised..." Even when they animal is all wrapped up an in your vehicle and ready to go, quietly tell the owner that they can still choose what happens and if they have second thoughts, that's ok and you won't be mad.

My sister let me be there for putting her dog down and it was all about her and her love for her dog. She carried him out and laid him in my trunk and we stood in the rain and talked and hugged. She then told me she was happy that he could bring happiness to someone in life and now still in death, but that she didn't want to know anything. I agreed not to tell her or post anything about processing her dog, so for her it would be like burial. The same thing happened with my other friend's horse. She spent some time with him and then as soon as he passed she drove away and let me do what I wanted. She didn't want to hear Any of it. Again, I didn't ask or even offer, she came up with the idea of giving me the body all on her own even before I knew he was dying.

Horse people are much closer to pet owners than livestock owners, but they are used to sending their friend's bodies off to a different kind of processing (at Tallow factories, livestock remains are ground up, cut apart, cooked, and spun around to extract various substances that become soap, glue, candles, etc) so they know not to think about what happens after death. It still depends on how well you know the owner and know how they think about death, but if you offer to handle logistics like dealing with the tallow guy, they can actually save money by letting you have it.

You're actually doing livestock a favor

Livestock people are generally chill and have a much more utility/asset view of their animals. If the animal doesn't even have a name they probably don't care what happens when it's dead. In fact, most farmers will jump at the chance to give you their animal for free because calling the tallow company to haul it away costs them money. This is also why in areas with lots of livestock, you sometimes find bodies dumped in ditches or left on the side of the road, because the farmer didn't want to pay to get rid of it so they made it everyone else's problem. Even pet animals like dogs and cats are more Utility than pure companions on a farm, so you might have a better chance of getting remains from a farmer than a neighbor.

One more thing about pets and livestock.

When I find a dead deer, I flay it open and let the vultures eat it. For domestic animals, they are often put to sleep via chemical/drug.

THIS IS POISONOUS TO SCAVENGERS.

DO NOT LET SCAVENGERS EAT EUTHANIZED ANIMALS

Seriously. If you like nature, you need to protect it. Deflesh it yourself, throw all the meat/blood/offal away or bury it 6 feet down. Idk what it does to the environment so I always freeze it and then throw it away on garbage day.

Rot bacteria and beetle larvae dermestids don't mind. In fact, dermestid droppings and pupa shells can be analyzed for toxins by forensic scientists to determine cause of death. Neat! Just make sure that if you process outdoors, the remains are EXTREMELY SECURE and cannot be opened by vultures, coyotes, or wild pigs.

Remember the living, human person

I know I look very clinical by picking apart human emotions, but I respond, feel, love, and grieve just like everyone else. I didn't plan how to get any of the animals in the above stories, I just acted on instinct and these are the ones where that paid off well.

Most of the time if I go "huh. I feel that may not go over well" I can then take that feeling apart and figure out why. So hopefully explaining how my feelings work it can help you listen to your most useful and most compassionate ones.

The living person is always more important than a dead pet. Sometimes you can get the dead pet without distressing your friend, sometimes you shouldn't even try.

Respecting the dead

A final note on working with pets vs wild animals. This is someone's family member, so don't play puppet with it like you might with a skunk skin. Don't take pictures of any part of the process until they are rendered to bones. Pictures of dead pet species are even more distressing to the general public than wild animals, and sick freaks might take your photos and send them to people for kicks or attention. Better to just not have photos than for that to happen.

What processing a pet feels like

Working on a pet is always going to be different for you, the vulture, than a wild animal. Everything you see is touched by human hands. My sister's dog was... beautiful. You don't really realize how moved you're going to be by seeing the perfect amount of healthy fat covering, or beautiful muscles that speak of exercise and attention. She rescued this starving pup and turned him into the healthiest animal I have ever seen. She's a vet assistant and the care and love she put into this dog had me sitting there crying while I held his paws; with their perfectly maintained clipped and sanded nails. I'd only met the dog once for a few minutes when he was alive, but his body was a canvas and every inch was painted with layers and layers of love. It made me so, so sad that his neurological issues couldn't be helped because his body was proof of someone who would stop at nothing to cure what could be cured, and that the last months of his life were happier than he ever imagined.

On the flip side, pets whose bodies show signs of neglect and abuse are going to hit you harder than any deer could. The dog I found discarded in a garbage bag on the side of the road had rotten teeth and nails so long they curled over themselves into hoops. An overgrown and suffering deer is just the sign of nature taking its course. An overgrown and suffering dog is the sign of human cruelty, of shirked responsibility.

Most pets you get will between these two dogs. No owner is perfect. Most old dogs have lost teeth to rot, sick cats too weak to scratch properly may have overgrown nails.

Death as beauty

A pet's body usually a beautiful story full of ups and downs; of owners doing things wrong and then doing things right. A vulture or an artist can read a body like rings on a tree and feel the heart beat in their chest that tells them how strong and full of love this life had been. You need to be ready for this part. Every detail is a message from your fellow human and even though we are all animals and we decompose into the same dirt, we're meant to connect to each other here and now.

Keep your emotions open when working with remains.

Listen to what they have to teach you.

[dumdumsun]

Of Starlight

A/N: Honestly one of my favorites

Word Count: 3040

Warnings: mentions of violence, guns and blood

————————————

Chapter 6: The Best of the Best

For what seemed like the hundredth time, the video footage of Grace standing by as Reginald writhed in his bed flashed before (Y/N)’s (e/c) eyes, along with the eyes of her siblings who stood beside her. Though the evidence stood true and before her, her gut was begging her not to believe what she saw. Swallowing, she tuned in to hear what Vanya had to say, “I mean, do you really think Mom would hurt Dad?”

“You haven’t been home in a long time, Vanya,” Luther turned away from the television to his sister. “Maybe you don’t know Grace anymore.”

“If he was poisoned, it would have shown in the coroner’s report.” Diego stated matter-of-factly, (Y/N) nodding in agreement. But Luther hadn’t been so easily convinced.

“Well, I don’t need a report to tell me what I can see with my own eyes.”

“Then your vision’s fucked, dingus,” (Y/N) moved closer to the television, clicking a button to rewind. “Look. Dad has the monocle on, then Mom stands up, the monocle is gone.”

“Oh, yeah!” Klaus chuckled, the clone from earlier still standing at his side. Diego walked away from the television.

“She wasn’t poisoning him. She was… taking it. To clean it.” He guessed. Everyone’s bodies turned towards their vigilante brother, Luther in disbelief.

“Then where is it? No, I’ve searched the house, including all her things. She doesn’t have it.” A moment of silence passed before Diego raised his hand.

“That’s because I took it from her. After the funeral.”

“You’ve had the monocle this whole time? What the hell, Diego?!” Allison leaned away from the pillar she was against. Luther stuck his hand out immediately, demanding Diego give the monocle to him.

“I threw it away.”

“You… what?” Luther blinked as Allison scoffed, going for a drink from her glass. (Y/N) rubbed her temples as Diego explained himself,

“Look, I knew that if you found it on Mom, you’d lose your shit, just like you’re doing right now.”

“Diego, you son of a bitch.” Luther took a couple threatening steps forward as Diego got into a fighting stance. (Y/N) and Vanya immediately got in between the two of them, halting both their actions.

“Hey. No. Calm down. Look, I know Dad wasn’t exactly an open book. But I do remember one thing he said. Mom was, well, designed to be a caretaker, but… also as a protector.”

“Oh, yeah,” (Y/N) slowly nodded in realization. “She was programmed to intervene if someone’s life was in danger.”

“Well, if her hardware is degrading, then… We need to turn her off.”

“Luther!-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait,” Diego’s voice rose in panic and anger. “She’s not just a vacuum cleaner you can throw in a closet! She feels things, I’ve seen it!”

“She just stood there, Diego, and watched our father die.”

“I’m with Luther.” Allison shrugged.

“Surprise, surprise.” Diego muttered.

“Shut up.” She shot back as (Y/N) crossed her arms.

“Well, I’m with Diego.” She voiced her opinion, her brother gratefully smiling at her. She returned the expression as Luther scoffed.

“And what does your opinion matter? The moment you moved out, you went and found the woman who gave you up the moment you were born-”

“Don’t you ever, ever, speak about my mother that way!” She boomed as she pointed a finger at him. “That woman has done more for me than I’ve ever asked of her and has supported me through everything I’ve done since I left this shithole! You have no right to give your fucking opinion on her! Even with that said, Grace is my mother as well and I will treat her as such. We were all raised by her, so my opinion matters just as much as yours, Apeman.” When she stepped back, Diego rested his hands on her shoulders from behind to steady her. Luther only stared at her in shock, not expecting her to blow up at him. Backing down, he turned to Vanya, as well as everyone else, to hear her opinion. The woman looked between her siblings, stammering out her answer before Diego interrupted her,

“Yeah, she shouldn’t get a vote.” He removed his hands from (Y/N) and moved away from them. She and Luther were going to start yet another argument between them when Vanya finally gained some confidence.

“I was gonna say that I agree with you.”

“Okay! She should get a vote,” He concluded before turning to Klaus, who leaned against another pillar. “What about you, stoner boy? What do you got?” Klaus looked up at them with raised brows.

“Oh, so, what? You need my help now? Oh, ‘Get out of the van, Klaus!’ ‘Well, welcome back to the van!’.”

“What van?” Allison questioned, clearly not understanding the situation that happened earlier. (Y/N) rolled her eyes at her druggie brother as Luther scoffed.

“What’s it gonna be, Klaus?”

“I’m with Diego, because screw you!” He furrowed his brows as Diego pointed at him, pleased that he and his brother agreed on something. “And if Ben were here, he’d agree with me.” A second afterwards, he hissed at the air beside him, (Y/N) guessing that Ben had disagreed with Klaus, but she wasn’t going to voice that. She sighed and turned to Luther.

“That’s three, Spaceboy-”

“Wait-”

“To two.” Diego finished, holding the numbers up with his fingers.

“It’s not final. Five’s not here.” Allison pointed out and (Y/N) sighed. He wouldn’t be here to give his say on the matter, anyway. Diego groaned.

“Oh, come on, he’d just agree with whatever (Y/N) has to say.” He motioned toward Number Eight, who bristled to argue with him.

“No, everyone in the family gets to vote. We owe each other that.” Allison shook her head as Luther and Vanya agreed with her. They all left the room, minus Diego, who stayed with a look of defeat. (Y/N) pat his shoulder as she left. She truly didn’t want Grace to be shut off. Granted, it was suspicious that she watched Reginald die without acting on it, but she would never hurt anyone. She showed the most care to them as kids and she couldn’t disregard that for anything.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the night washed over the sky, (Y/N) found that she would not have been much use to Five. When she left the Academy to join him, she saw that he still sat in that van, still watching that building. As much as she had begged to help, she was slowly starting to realize that Five wasn’t letting her in on everything. She knew he hadn’t been lying about the apocalypse, but she wished he would’ve told her whatever else he was in on. She felt horrible about it, but without even alerting him of her presence, she left him and arrived back at the mansion. As she wandered, she still felt tension between her siblings, and decided that it would be best not to interact with them for now. However, she felt a tug pulling her towards the bathroom. This familiar tug was what alerted her of her clones’ presence nearby. She followed the pull and peeked inside to see Klaus taking a bubble bath, her clone still watching over him. She quietly giggled at the sight, startling her brother and causing him to sit up quickly, some water splashing over the tub and onto the floor.

“Christ, (Y/N)! Don’t scare me like that!”

“You okay?” She whispered, side-eyeing her clone. Klaus sighed and relaxed once again.

“Yes, dear. Now can you take your robot with you? It’s been following me around for hours!”

“No, I still want it to make sure you don’t die. It’ll help if you, uh… drown or something,” She grinned before leaving the room, ignoring Klaus’ calls to her. As she continued to wander around, she found Diego, who seemed to be in deep thought. When he caught sight of his sister, his tense posture relaxed before he went to stand at her side. “Hey, what are you doing?”

“Just thinkin’,” He answered. “About what you said about Mom… how she raised us all and cared for us… makes me wonder how Luther could just choose her over Dad…” He shook his head and clenched his jaw. (Y/N) surveyed his expression, gently nudging him.

“I just don’t think Luther has much of an emotional connection with Mom… Not like you do,” He turned to her with a questioning gaze. “Oh, come on, Diego. You are a Mama’s Boy and you know it. But it’s not a bad thing! It’s not like Dad gave a shit about her. It’s good that someone checks up on her and actually takes her thoughts and emotions into consideration. You have no idea how good it feels to hear your kids ask how you’re doing.” The two shared a soft chuckle as they headed towards the rooms again. They halted their steps, however, when they heard guns cocking. Slowly turning in the direction it came from, they saw two people in suits and creepy kids’ masks pointing guns at them, ready to shoot.

“Shit. Go, go!” Diego pushed (Y/N) forward, the two bolting down the hallway as gunshots zoomed past them. Right as Diego launched his knives and hit the intruders, a bullet grazed (Y/N)’s right outer thigh. She cried out in pain and nearly fell if it hadn’t been for Diego catching her. Without a second thought, he lifted her onto his back and ran further down the hall, swiftly swinging around a corner and hiding the best he could. As gently as possible, he set (Y/N) down to her feet, the girl holding in a wince as she supported herself on the wall.

The sound of footsteps echoed and increased in volume. Just when they were right beside the two, Diego jumped out of their hiding place and attacked the taller intruder with his knife. (Y/N) heard him call out for his partner to shoot, but they couldn’t get a clear shot of Diego, not being able to see (Y/N) from where they were. Diego kicked his opponent against the wall before taking off down the hall, but not before grabbing his sister. She tried to ignore the throbbing in her leg as they ran just above the parlor. Without warning, Diego wrapped his arms around her and threw them off the bannister, landing on the couch in the parlor. Since he had broken her fall, her body nearly knocked the wind out of him, but he didn’t let himself recover. He jumped off of the couch with (Y/N) and hid behind a table. Once his arms were removed from her frame, she tried to stop the bleeding in her leg by pressing down on her wound. Diego placed his own hand down over hers, eyes moving around frantically before they landed on the portrait of Reginald on the wall across from them, bullets lodged into his face.

Footsteps approached the parlor and his head snapped in their direction. “(Y/N), stay here.” He whispered right beside her ear. She looked up and shook her head.

“No, I wanna help-”

“Do not help. Stay fucking here.” He violently hissed before starting to shuffle away, but he didn’t get very far, for bullets started flying towards them. Diego quickly wrapped his arms around his sister again and threw them down to the floor, his body curling over hers. The bullets stopped and they heard fighting, (Y/N) recognizing Allison’s grunts. Diego moved himself from his sister and allowed her to climb onto his back again. She whimpered as she willed herself to move and wrap her legs around his waist, arms around his neck. When Diego stood, the two intruders had been thrown out of the room by Luther. Allison whirled towards Diego with wide eyes.

“Who the hell are these guys?! (Y/N), did they hurt you?!”

“Yeah, kinda…” She sighed as Luther turned to them.

“You’re welcome.” His words made (Y/N) groan as Diego shifted her on his back.

“I was doing fine!”

“Oh, yeah, you really had them-”

“(Y/N) is fucking hurt, what the hell did you want me-” Diego stopped talking when the intruders started shooting once again, everyone ducking down. In his haste, (Y/N) had fallen off his back and landed on the ground. She started to do an army crawl out of the room along with her brother, who yelled for Luther and Allison to go. When the two were on their feet again, Diego grabbed her hand and continued to run, the intruders heading to the opposite direction. “We need to get you to a safe place!”

“Nowhere is really safe at this point!” (Y/N) let him drag her wherever. He eventually stopped and turned her towards him. Sweat covered her forehead and blood seeped through her pants. Her eyes met his, full of concern. She shook her head and shakily sung her tune, her clone appearing beside them. Hating the order she was about to give, she clenched her teeth. “Protect me,” Immediately, the clone went to attack Diego, but (Y/N) stopped it, climbing onto its back. “Follow Diego.”

Just as the three headed towards the basement, where the shorter of the intruders had followed Allison, Klaus had been dancing around the house, completely unaware of the threat around him due to the headphones he wore. (Y/N)’s clone from earlier simply followed, standing to cover him if any bullets came near. When the three entered the basement, they saw that Allison had just been struck and was now leaning over the pool table, her lip bleeding. “You wanna rumor this psycho?” Diego questioned, Allison wiping her lip.

“I don’t need to, because this bitch just pissed me off.” She spit before turning to the woman.

“We just want the boy.” She tried to explain before Allison attacked her. Five… These bastards are looking for Five… (Y/N) thought. That information alone made her blood boil. She hopped off her clone’s back just as Allison was kicked to the ground by the intruder. Diego whistled as he approached her, the two starting their own fight. Following its second order, the clone stepped forward to follow Diego, but turned back to the stumbling (Y/N). It was confused, and she could tell. (Y/N) quietly cursed before commanding it to help her fight. The intruder broke away from Diego and Allison and headed towards (Y/N) and her lookalike. Number Eight smirked and grabbed her clone by the hand, using all her strength to swing it around. It used its legs to kick off the wall and then the woman in her chest, causing her to fall to the ground with an “oomph!”. The clone, after landing on its feet, steadied (Y/N) by her arms. This gave the intruder time to stand and make her way out of the room, but not before Diego launched, what (Y/N) could only tell as something sharp, into her leg. She cried out in pain, but continued up the stairs. The four followed her not too long afterwards, but lost her once they were at the top. (Y/N) whimpered again and hummed her second tune, the clone disappearing.

“You good?” Diego held onto her, receiving a nod in answer.

When the three made their way to the entrance, Allison cried out to Luther, who was laying on the ground in pain. (Y/N) wanted to join the two in helping him up, but her strength was wearing out, so she leaned against the wall. Looking up, she saw the female intruder going to mess with the chandelier. Luther had noticed at the same time, for they both called out for their siblings to watch out. Luther pushed Diego and Allison out of the way, allowing it to land on him. (Y/N) slumped to the floor as her breathing got shallow. She could only hope Luther had been safe before she blacked out, but not before she sang her three-note tune almost silently.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Y/N) awoke to a sharp pain in her leg. She almost shot up, but felt a hand on the flat of her chest. It was Allison. “H-Hey, hey, it’s okay, sis. Just patching your leg up…”

“W-Who?” (Y/N) turned her head to see her clone, silently stitching up her leg. She let out a breath and relaxed against the cushions of the couch she was laying on. She turned her head to Vanya, who was nursing her own bleeding head with a rag. “Shit, Vanya, I didn’t even know you were here. You okay?” She received a nod from her sister before she heard footsteps. Diego walked in, his breathing shaky. Vanya looked up and called out to him softly. He turned to her with a cold stare.

“What are you still doing here?”

“I’m just trying to help-”

“No, you could’ve been killed! Or got any of us killed. Shit, we’re lucky (Y/N) didn’t die from blood loss!” He yelled before leaning closer to Allison. “She is a liability.” He muttered before heading towards (Y/N). Kneeling in front of her, he watched her face scrunch up in pain as the clone lifted her leg slightly to wrap it up. She reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m okay, don’t worry…”

“I told you not to help.” He slightly growled and held the hand on his shoulder. Past the growl, (Y/N) detected a whimper. Looking into his eyes, she felt the pain in his stare. Only it was a type of pain she knew all too well.

“Diego, what happened…?” She whispered just as she saw Vanya stand from the corner of her eye. She and her brother turned and watched her leave.

“Vanya, wait.” Allison tried to rush after their sister, but Diego told her to just let Vanya go, that it was for the best. (Y/N) heavily sighed and let her head fall back against the cushions. She hoped Five was doing fine, wherever he was.

————————————

Taglist: @melinda-hargreeves @43sparrows @sapphicsyn @m00n-sh @starcurrent @alexander-hamilhoe @youcandalekmyballs @wonderlandfandomkingdom @yrdadjstcallsmekatya

[garrettandoscargirlsblog]

Getting Away From The Hurt

Happy Writing Wednesday. Here is my entry for @autumnleaves1991-blog's challenge. This weeks story is very dramatic. Doc ( female reader) walks into something that she didnt want to see. fearing the worst. Doc runs off. Could this relationship survive this screw up made by one of the boys?

Warning: lots of drama. male stupidity.

World as you know it started to crash around you. Couldn't see what you were seeing. Loves of your life flirting with two ladies. One with her arm around Benny's shoulder. Laughing at his jokes. Santi sees you out of the corner of his eye. Then noticed that look in your beautiful eyes. Look that would kill anyone. Couldn't get a word edgewise. Santi tried to make his introductions. You stomp your feet," oh, I see how it is. All the lies the two of you me about not ever looking or touching another women! How can I be so fucking stupid to believe you! I could take that from santi! Benny! How could you do that to me! My best friend! Thought we had something. Now I can't even look at you! So you can go and have your fun with this..!" The woman comes up to you," don't even call me trash! If you just calm down, listen to what Santiago and Ben have to say. You my dear will be begging for their forgiveness." Other women said," I agree. Temper like that would get you in a mighty heap of trouble "

Doc goes up to Benny and slaps him. Then knees Santiago in the groin. Tears in your eyes. Drive off towards somewhere you can cool off. Thought about calling ironhead. Then remembered he was on a date.Frankie was at his in-laws.

Benny and Santiago were trying to come to grips with what just happened. Both of them fear that they just lost the best thing that ever came into their lives. After the ladies left. The boys figured out where you went.

First place you went home.packed a bag. No note was left. Try not to shed any tears. Off you went to a place where they couldn't find you.

After saying goodnight to his date. Ironhead checked his phone. Noticed a text message from you. Telling him to call you. Something about his brother and friend screwed up. Think that they didn't love you anymore.

Will calls you. Only thing he got was your voicemail. Rubbing his beard. Look of a pissed off man. Goes looking for Benny and Santi. To set them straight. Not before calling Frankie for back up.

Soon you arrived at your destination. The elegant hotel that you wanted to stay at when it first opened. Never got the chance to go due to work and Benny's fight. Looking at your phone. See numerous texts from Benny and Santi. Thru the phone on the floor. Crying," how could they do this to me! With all we all have been through! Thought we had something special!" Looking around the room. There was a beautiful canopy bed.like the one you had as a girl. Bathroom was so beautiful. Something out of a dream. Thought it would be a good idea to take that bath. After undressing. You eased into the tub. Putting on your earbuds. Turned on a good playlist to make you zone out.

Meanwhile back at the house. Benny and Santiago come home to see that you came home to pack. Left no note. Both of them looked for any kind of clue to where you went. Will comes barging into the house. Since he has a key. With Frankie in tow. Not much of a hello. Will slugs santi in the face," WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU ! I GOT A TEXT FROM DOC ABOUT YOU AND BENNY WERE WITH TWO WOMEN! ARE YOU DUMB OR JUST PLAIN STUPID!" Santi pulls will off of him," she didn't let us explain! You know how she is. Now we can't find her! " Frankie cleared his throat," before we help you fix this serious fucked up job. Tell us who you were hanging out with." Benny and Santi tell them. Both of them looked at them. Will sighs," oh shit! "

Will tried to call you. Nothing. Until a few minutes later. You picked up the phone," finally you decide to check your phone! I'm in need of a good friend to talk to. " will sighs," I'm sorry Doc. I'm trying to smooth the waters right now. Yes, I'm with them. If you tell me where you are. I'll come over there." You texted him the location. Give the boys the location. Told them to not screw it up.

Soon the boys arrived at the hotel. Looking for the room you are staying at. The clerk gave them the number. Heading towards the fifth floor. Looking for the number. Once they did. Benny whispers," don't think we should knock.Going in there before she bails. Not leaving until we plead our case. Damn, I wish you prepared doc for their visit. You never think things through. Thought you learned the last time. Now she won't look at me the same she did before." Santi paced around," how many times I'm gonna say that I'm sorry about that,?!" Seeing the opportunity. Benny used the card key that was in the maid's cleaning cart.

You were relaxing in the tub. Eyes closed. Letting the water take you away. That moment was dashed when you opened your eyes. Trying not to yell," I don't want to see yall right now! Just leave me alone!" Santi shuts the door. Practically getting ready to go ballistic," if you stop being so fucking jealous all the time! I was trying to explain why we were with them! Sorry I didn't tell you before. Thought I could surprise you. Okay bad choice of words here. Okay! I'm gonna say it! Those girls were my sisters! My twin baby sisters. We're here to meet you now thanks to you. Mama is not gonna come to the wedding." Looking at sant and benny. Sinks yourself under the water. Benny pulls you out of the tub. Not before he fetched the towel that was on the counter," doc, I'm so sorry too. Wanna tell you about it,but Pope would not let me. I fell so bad about this. " holding him tight. Not before rubbing where you hit him," sorry for hitting you benny. As for you Santiago. If you ever ,ever try that stunt again. I swear to God I'll do more than kneeing you in the balls. As for your sisters? Let me call them. Don't want them to think I don't like them. Oh! By the way Garcia. Never mentioned that you had sisters. After how many years we all knew each other!"

After a few more minutes of chewing out santi and benny. Three of you finally made up. Both of them cuddled with you in the canopy bed. Benny did his best to make amends with you. By holding you tight. While Santi kisses your shoulder," I know I screwed again.i should have listened to mama. She told me not to surprise you. Thought I knew what I was doing." Benny tried to thump his head," I told ya too remember man? Didn't listen to me? What do I fucking know? I'm just a young member of the group." You looked at them," I'll try not to get so jealous. I admit it. I have issues with it. Try to work on it. I still love you my boys." Both of them kiss your cheek before turning off the lights.

[waveypedia]

and now, for my next number, i’d like to return to the classics

Rymin Week Day 7: Domestic

1 2 4 5 6

Ao3

~

It’s been years since he lived primarily in his van on tour, but Ryan will never not be grateful to always have a kitchen.

Early morning sunlight streams through the soft white curtains as he goes through the motions of breakfast. The curtains were a gift from one sister, the cookware a gift from their old manager before she got promoted. The sleek fridge, which Ryan opens next, was a careful purchase he and Min worked together to carefully pick out, as is the same for most of their furniture. The eggs he pulls out from inside it are from their local farmer’s market, where all the vendors know them by name. Not because they used to be semi-famous rock stars, but because they come by every week toting instruments to serenade the shoppers with.

Ryan coats the pan in nonstick cooking spray and cracks the eggs into it. Salts it. He puts the ingredients away while he’s waiting for it to cook and pours two glasses of water.

Then, all that’s left is the waiting.

Ryan finds one of his guitars leaning against the wall in the next room. Their apartment is chock-full of all kinds of musical instruments they’ve accumulated over the years. After all the fuss Ryan had to go through to get his first guitar as a teenager, it feels both strange and gratifying to see how far he’s come.

One instrument they do not have is a viola. Min has played it on his own, usually on lease from friends, but he won’t play it regularly enough to buy one. Ryan is more than happy with that.

Ryan sits down on top of the counter and plucks a few, soft notes on his chosen guitar. He doesn’t have any particular melody or song in mind; he just lets his fingers play what they wish.

In no time at all, the eggs finish cooking. Ryan regretfully sets down the guitar to flip them and slide them onto plates. Just as he’s turning off the stove, the sound of a door opening down the hall and resounding footsteps reaches his ears.

Ryan snorts.

His husband emerges into the kitchen, hair still messy from bed. Even after all these years, Ryan’s heart flutters at the sight of him.

Min leans down to steal a kiss off the top of Ryan’s head. “Ooh, eggs. Are those for me?”

Ryan swings the plate away, nearly spilling the coveted breakfast. “Of course not. I cook for myself. Never for my handsome husband.”

“Hmm, too bad.” Min grabs a fork and leans in for a bite. “Hey, these are good!”

Ryan laughs and leans against Min’s chest. “Almost as good as your ability to come running as soon as there’s food ready. I swear, Min, it’s superhuman.”

“Only if it’s your food,” Min promises, struggling not to laugh.

Ryan cackles. “Of course. I see how it is”

Min kisses him again and steps away. “I’ll get the table set if you plate the eggs and get some fruit, dear.”

“I can do better than that!” Ryan dishes out the eggs on two plates and cuts some oranges up. He walks over to the toaster and drops two pieces of toast in. “A full breakfast. How about that?”

Min laughs and pulls a tub of butter out of the fridge. “Lovely, thank you.” He peers at the plates. “Eggs and toast. How downright American of you. Would you like some bacon with that?”

 “Hey, at least it’s not post-war,” Ryan quips back. He stretches his arms over his head and sets the plates down on the table. “Eh, that would take too much time.” He leans over to peck Min’s cheek. “After all, I would hate to miss breakfast with my lovely husband.”

Min beams. “Good choice.” His wedding ring twinkles in the early morning sunlight.

Ryan sighs dreamily. “Man, am I glad I married you.”

“Me too.” Min’s smile is fond and so full of love it makes Ryan’s heart swell. When he smiles, all his wrinkles soften and curve upwards like little smiles themselves. Ryan loves to kiss each one.

“So.” Min straightens out and pulls out his phone. “We have a practice session at 4 today, booked at the venue for Saturday’s performance.”

“Okay, good.” Ryan nods. “I want to run through the new arrangement Train to Nowhere.”

Min shakes his head, chuckling. “We’ve been playing that song for forty years, Ryan. Shouldn’t you know it inside and out?”

“I just want to tweak some things for this arrangement,” Ryan shoots back, not unkindly.

“Ryan.” Min reaches across the table to lay his hand on top of Ryan’s. Their wedding rings make a soft clink sound when Min’s hits his. “It’s going to be fine. The fans love that song, as do we. We know it well.”

  I know, I know.” Ryan squeezes Min’s hand and glances away. His eyes catch on a vase of beautiful purple flowers. I need to water those today, he notes offhandedly. “That’s why I want it to be as good as it can be.”

“It will be,” Min promises.

Ryan smiles. “I believe you.”

Min laughs, reaching across with his other hand to squeeze Ryan’s cheek gently. Ryan laughs, batting his hand away. “Of course you do. You should listen to your husband more often, Ryan.”

“What are you talking about? I always listen to you,” Ryan snorts.

Min waggles his finger. “Ah-ah, that sheet music you bought last week would beg to differ,” he says. “I told you we already had it in a songbook somewhere.”

Ryan crosses his arms, faux-affronted. “Excuse me for wanting more music to play!”     

“I don’t care about that. Just spend our money on music we don’t already have,” Min says, leaning back in his chair with a smile.

Ryan shrugs and lets out a small huff of laughter. “I can do that.”

“Good.” Min gets up to clear their plates. “I’m going to go grocery shopping and then call my parents. Do you need anything?”

“No, but I’ll pop on that call if you don’t mind,” Ryan replies, standing up. “And can you grab some cheese? And the-“

“Those crackers you like, the ones that come in the blue box, I know, I know,” Min says, laughing and shaking his head affectionately. “It’s on the list.”

Ryan walks over and wraps an arm around his husband. “Ah, you know me so well. Thanks, babe.”

Min shrugs him off, laughing. “Stop calling me that! It’s not classy!”

“Pfft, okay.” Ryan kisses Min on the cheek before releasing him. “See you in a few hours?”

“You know it.” Min waves and kisses him goodbye before he’s out the door.

Ryan hums softly to himself as he cleans up the kitchen. It starts out as a B-side from one of Chicken Choice Judy’s earlier albums - their third, if memory serves correctly. Four years after they’d escaped the train, when their career was steadily taking off and they started touring outside of North America.

Ryan shook his head, chuckling softly to himself as he wiped a dish clean. “Man, what a time.”

As he works, the tune slowly shifts into something more original and unique. Something new. When he notices the change, he immediately scrambles for a pen and paper. Luckily, there’s a large notebook of blank sheet music in the drawer under the microwave for this exact reason.

Ryan flips past pages of sheet music penned from similar scenarios to a blank page. He leans against the counter, writing down notes and chords and lyrics as time slips away. Before he knows it, he has a full song on his hands and Min’s returned.

“Hey, honey,” Min says, dropping the grocery bags on the kitchen table and leaning in for a kiss. “Whatcha got there?”

Ryan tips the sheet music notebook over so Min can see. “A new song. I’m calling this one ‘Sunsets’ for now. What do you think?”

Min hums thoughtfully as he peruses the notes. “It sounds pretty, Ryan! May I suggest a ukulele rift here?” He taps the third line down as he talks. “I think that would add to the image.”

Ryan grins. “You’re a genius, Min.” He’s said similar statements many times over their forty-year music-writing career, but it never gets old.

Min preens, laughing. “Oh, I know. I’m gonna call my parents in a few, okay?”

“Sure. Call me when you’re ready.” Ryan doesn’t take his eyes off the music as Min leaves.

When he eventually hits a block, he puts away the groceries. He’s just finished when Min pokes his head out of the office door and beckons.

 “Hello, Ryan!” Min’s mother greets when he steps inside. “Lovely to see you.”

“You as well, 어머님,” he replies, squeezing into the office chair next to Min. It’s not supposed to be big enough to fit them both, but they always seem to manage. Min laughs and tries to bat him off, but it’s halfhearted at this point. Ryan has been doing it for long enough that Min gave up a while ago. Besides, they both know Min likes the subtle affection.

“Just get another chair,” Min’s father grumbles, not unkindly. His wife gives him a small nudge on the shoulder.

“Leave them alone. Let them enjoy each other’s company,” Min’s mother replies, shaking her head in mirth. “If they’re still in their honeymoon phase after all this time, that’s on them.”

“엄마, please,” Min sighs, burying his head in his hands. His mother just laughs.

--

At precisely four P.M., he and Min are settled onstage at Saturday’s venue. It happens to be a beautiful outdoor amphitheater with vines and greenery gently climbing up the pillars holding up the stage’s ceiling. The audience area is open-sky and curves gently downward, like a bowl.

Ryan stands in the center of said “bowl”, guitar hanging from his shoulders by its strap. He raises his arms to the sky and spins, taking in everything.

From his place onstage, behind his synthesizer, Min laughs. “What are you doing?”

“Just taking in the sights.” Ryan does a final spin for good measure before turning to face Min. “It really is quite pretty.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Min gazes up at the orange-tinted sky with a soft smile. “Our manager really outdid herself with the booking this time. We’ll have to thank her.”

Ryan clambers up on the stage, silently wincing at the height gap between the audience floor and stage floor. He’s really not as young as he used to be, is he? “Should we send her flowers?”

“I think she really liked the sunflowers we got her last time. They were on her living room table when we visited her.” Min places his fingers on the keys, hovering just above them. “Maybe chocolate, too.”

Ryan laughs. “How cliché. Is there something I should know?” He waltzes over to Min and wraps a lazy arm around his husband, leaning all of his weight into Min’s shoulders.

Min laughs and shoves him off. “Please, do I have to come out to you again? Not all of us are interested in women, you know.”

“And what a great loss to the female community it is. The ladies of the Min-Gi Park fan club will have to go in mourning,” Ryan giggled. “But really, flowers and chocolate sound nice. She’ll like it.”

Min gave him a thumbs-up. “Sound check?”

Ryan gives his guitar an experimental strum. It echoes across the amphitheater beautifully, filling the bowl with sound and vibration. He whoops. “Let’s get this party started!”

“Not until Saturday, or else we’ll have some very unhappy neighbors to contend with,” Min admonishes, laughing. His fingers fly across the keys. “I’m good too.”

Ryan taps his mic. “Then let’s get ready to rock!” His voice booms across the venue. A few peacefully roosting birds take flight, squawking indignantly.

Min rolls his eyes. “Leave the poor birds alone, and you have a deal.”

“Please, we all know they just want to hear us play.” Ryan fishes his guitar pick from his jacket pocket and holds it poised over his guitar strings. “How do you feel about Train to Nowhere as a warm-up?”

“Fine by me,” Min says. His eyes don’t leave his synth. “It’s my favorite song to play with you, Ryan.”

“Well, of course,” Ryan says. “It’s what got us together, after all. In more ways than one.”

Min laughs. “Well, I can’t argue with that. Care to count us off?”

“Oh, I was just waiting for you to ask.” Ryan raises his pick and grins. “Five, six, eleven, twelve!”

Somewhere in Canada, the sun sets over a practicing music duo in the early 2020s. They laugh and goof around on an empty stage as birds and a few curious passerby stop to watch. The notes of their original hit song, “Train to Nowhere,” grace the evening air.

In the middle of the song, their eyes meet. They do not speak outside of the song lyrics, but an entire conversation passes through their gaze. It’s all they can do to not run to each other and hug each other right then and there.

After all, Ryan and Min-Gi Akagi-Park have lived a lifetime with each other. And they will live out the rest of their lives with each other, happy and content beyond imagination. 

~

i'm not korean so i'm not sure if the words i used for min's mother are right. if anyone knows better and sees i'm wrong, please tell me! the website said the word min uses ( 엄마 / eomma) is the informal way to say mom, and you only use it for your own mother. the word ryan uses ( 어머님 / eomeonim ) is formal and often used for mothers-in-law. eomma is really similar to the hebrew word for mother, which is amma. i think that's fascinating because hebrew and korean are not similar languages at all. lingustics as a whole is fascinating because you can see where languages and dialects split off from each other and where/why that happened in history. it's also really cool to see languages so similar to each other you can communicate with someone else in two different languages. languages also have cognants (not sure if i'm spelling that right) where a word is basically the same across multiple languages. it's really interesting to see in this modern world of quick and easy communication how many cognants we have, especially for semi-recent terms (the technology unit in french was SO easy). anyway sorry for the tangent i just really love linguistics

man i wasn't planning to write for today until i realized i'd overestimated the chapter count and it felt weird to not write aksdgfjs. i hope i can keep to this schedule of writing every day but school will probably put a hard stop to that. gotta get out as much writing as i can before then! i started writing this at like 9pm i'm so sorry if it's messy dkfhjfkd

we've come full circle! this started with baby rymin and now we have much older rymin. poetic cinema........

the euphoria i got everytime i wrote "his husband"......... they are MARRIED gamers!!!!!

this is a callout post for every time i pour myself a bowl of chips at my aunt and uncle's house and all five of them suddenly think my bowl is a free-for-all even though the bag is sitting right there. stop i am not a chip dispensary. do not be min-gi akagi-park leave my chips alone

title is from uhhhh i don't know what it was called (some indie thing) but it was in my last winterguard show (fuck covid i wanted a senior season) and it just popped into my head. or it might have just been a voice line from something i heard it in another show with different music. whatever it's almost 1 am i'll look it up later. i put it on my titles doc (which is 90% song lyrics and which my brother likes to call the "song lyric moodboard" even though it's just a bullet list) out of impulse and nostalgia and never really intended to use it but it actually fits really well here?? who knew

it didn't make it in but i imagine that ryan and min have a parrot named kez and they've taught it some of kez's favorite and most iconic phrases. imagine you are visiting acclaimed musical duo chicken choice judy's house and you hear a parrot squawk at you "Why do you hate fun, Min." another thing that kind of made it in but not quite was that ryan has all those weird guitars. im picturing this one my temporary songleading teacher at camp, who's a professional musician and probably the most famous jewish folk artist out there (which is a very niche group so he's not really famous), brought out once. it was really small and had like eight tiny strings all crammed in together and it both fascinated and terrified me. i have no idea how you can play that without accidentally pressing all the wrong strings all the time but dan nichols can do it so i've decided ryan can do it too

tomorrow is au day... you know what that means... *shoves rymin into my current hyperfixation*

if you ever wanna talk infinity train, writing, these amazing characters, or really anything hmu here on my tumblr or on twitter! thank you for reading, and please leave a reblog/like/comment if you enjoyed it!

@ryminweek