#I just believe in building yourself into someone who shows compassion and love

[bones4thecats]

New anon appears! (🐝 emoji icon)

Head empty, only TFP S/O with sparklings concept idea from your list! :D

Really thinking about the S/O concept with either Ultra Magnus or Knockout but it's up to you!

Sorry it's my first time ever requesting a fix from someone so my bad if I'm doing it wrong D:

┗ They're Their Dumb Kids; TFP × S/O ┛

Characters: Arcee, Ultra Magnus, Knockout, and Breakdown (Transformers Prime) A/N: Hello there, 🐝Anon! I'm thankful you like that prompt, I was really into the thoughts of them being step-parents to these kids and proving themselves worthy mentally. Hope you do like the Ultra Magnus and Knockout parts! Also, you did perfectly fine on requesting! Not to shabby for a newbie! ��� Summary: Having a child and proving your worth to yourself is hard enough, but when that child isn't yours, it can be harder than ever for the person who just earned the title.

Thought I should mention this too, the father's of the sparklings in each pieces are: Arcee's -> Soundwave / Ultra Magnus' -> Dreadwing / Knockout's -> Makeshift / Breakdown's -> Wheeljack

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🏍️ When you joined the Autobots, everyone knew how protective you were of your sparklings. Two little ones, the female you named Compass, and the male your deceased lover happily named Trident.

🏍️ Trident's arms matched Soundwave's, though they were a completely different color. One of the first moments Arcee began to bond with Trident, had been insecure of his appendages, only seeing the evil that came from them. Also known as; his sire.

🏍️ She laid a servo on his shoulder pad and smiled, telling him it wasn't his CNA that defined who he was, but how he acted and what he decided to do. He may look like Soundwave in certain ways, but that didn't mean he was like him in reality.

🏍️ Arcee absolutely adored Compass when she first spoke. She transformed into a tiny computer that could wire itself to any kind of technology and hack like nothing. And, unlike her brother, she had no sense of insecurity, rather, she found it cool that she could do that.

🏍️ Your sparkmate does enjoy spending time with the two, though, sometimes her own insecurities flare up and cause her to believe she would eventually fail in keeping them safe.

🏍️ Every time you three see this, you come up from behind and hug her, giving her so much love that it would make Cupid hurl.

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🎖️ Ultra Magnus was surprised that Optimus allowed you to have your sparkling around, as they were the spawn of a Decepticon. Specifically, Dreadwing. Everyone, even humans, could tell that your female sparkling took the most after her sire.

🎖️ She had the same guarding around her face, including the little movable points around her face plate. She also had fairly large wings for her smaller build. These wings almost reached the size of one of Soundwave's arms, shockingly enough.

🎖️ Ultra Magnus, despite the concerns at first, does enjoy to be around your sparklings. Your two boys, Coil and Backway, both enjoyed to be with him. They were the first to actually accept Ultra Magnus as a sire-figure, which made him loosen up slightly.

🎖️ On the other hand, your only female sparkling, Ember, was more reluctant. She loved her biological sire so much, despite his alliances, and it was hard moving on from him. But, as Ultra Magnus began to lead and show his emotions more with her, she opened up and accepted him.

🎖️ He understands he can't replace Dreadwing, and he does honor him after the war with your sparklings. And it's this actions that brings them closer together. There are no outsiders in your family.

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🪚 Makeshift and you were a match made by Unicron. A complete mess of a bond that ended in a complete blaze. And it was through this bond that three mechs were created, each different completely yet similar by one thing: they were all named by your old friend, Knockout.

🪚 Your oldest, Buzzjaw, your second oldest, Savvy, and your youngest, Snowdrift, all adored Knockout. Because Makeshift was never involved in their lives and development, Knockout became their sire figure through and through.

🪚 Buzzjaw normally keeps to himself, staying just as silent as his sire, but, whenever he spends some one-on-one time with Knockout, he becomes more talkative than a parrot. Meanwhile, Savvy is naturally talkative, and loved to learn about different parts of the Cybertronian body.

🪚 Finally, you have Snowdrift. Snowdrift is by far Knockout's favorite sparkling of yours. He always has a completely blank face due to his mask, but Knockout can tell what emotion Snowdrift feels just by looking into his optics. This makes your youngest feel less like an outsider in his family, and more like a central piece in it.

🪚 You love seeing Knockout telling a story about a successful mission. But, you also love it when your boys end up seeing you buffing your sparkmate down. They have ended up holding back their laughs at seeing the prideful mech all scratched up.

🪚 Oh yeah, he also has this urge to keep the three perfect looking. Meanwhile, each of them (mainly Savvy) will get scratched up so badly that it almost causes Knockout to literally knock himself out

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🥊 You despised Wheeljack with a passion. Back on Cybertron, he was the perfect mech. He was polite and he understood everything you said. But, after the war began, he just completely changed, becoming a bot you couldn't recognize. This led to a fight in which you left his side for the Decepticons, since your closest friends were on that side. Including Breakdown.

🥊 During the fight, Wheeljack had taken two of your boys, Oilbite and Wildfeather. This angered you so much, you had to be put away for a few Earth weeks due to your anger issues. During that time, Breakdown began to bond a lot more with your three other sparklings.

🥊 Riot, your second oldest, did enjoy Breakdown being around. He wanted to smash everything in sight a majority of the time, as he inherited your anger issues and Wheeljack's, but, after speaking with the blue-Decepticon, he learned to control his anger better, which pleased you.

🥊 Whistle, the middle child, just adored Breakdown. She loved seeing him fight and enjoyed spending time with her uncle Knockout. She would spend hours in the medbay with the two of them, hanging around and learning about everything the two knew. It was honestly heartwarming.

🥊 Turbine and Ace, your twin youngests, were the ones that Breakdown was most nervous about being around. But, with the help of Knockout and you, his confidence rose high enough for him to reach out and begin raising the two youngsters. They just love him so much, and his spark almost melted when they called him their sire for the first time.

🥊 On the other hand, the two that Wheeljack took just glared at Breakdown. But, when the war finished and they actually began to speak with you and their distant-siblings, they realized just how much of a crucial role Breakdown played in their growth. Hell, even Wheeljack had to admit, the guy sounded pretty cool.

[seungfl0wer]

*𝑻𝒘𝒐 𝑰𝒔 𝑩𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝑶𝒏𝒆*

Pairing: Snake!Hybrid Hyunjin x Reader (Fem)

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Snakes! Mentions of Blood/Stitches, Fork/Split tongue, Oral(F), Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Biting, Two Dicks (kinda double P), Sorry for any mistakes or Missing warnings!

A/N: My animal knowledge really shows here😂

Series Master List

-🖤

It was rare to see snake hybrids. A lot of them hid in fear of how others treated them. Humans were mean creatures, especially to things they fear. They knew that all too well, so seeing a snake hybrid brought into your adoption center was strange. His scales were flakey, eyes stuck with shed. You could tell whoever had him didn’t treat him well.

No one wanted to be near him most of your colleagues staying away some even squealing. However you weren’t scared, did you like snakes? Not particularly, but you knew he needed help. When you approached him in the little container he was in he hissed. You quickly shushed him picking him up to take him to the sink area. You had run him a small bath, just some water for him to soak in. “I can’t believe you’re touching that thing” someone streaked at your side.

“It deserves the same amount of love and compassion as any others here” you retort looking down at him. You cleaned him up helping the stuck shed off before putting him back with a heating lamp.

“Y/n will you take it home?” Your manager had asked.

“Why don’t you want it here?” You glared.

“Listen, most of us don’t like them. He’s probably not gonna get adopted and we also aren’t equipped to take care of him properly. You at least seem to know what you’re doing.” They rambled.

You looked back down at the snake who was now curled up by your hand. “Fine, I’ll take it home, however.” You said with a small pause. “He’s mine as soon as we leave and I want the next few days off to take care of him and help him settle.” You stated.

“Of course-“ your manager started to say before you interrupted him.

“Paid” you said sternly.

With a sigh knowing he wasn’t gonna win he agreed just wanting that thing out of the building.

You put him in your spare room, getting the necessary stuff for his set up. You watched as he explored smiling to yourself. “Listen, I know you understand me. So whenever if ever you wanna become human. This room is yours. You have free roam where ever. You’ll be safe here, and taken care of” you kept talking.

He laid under the heating lamp listening carefully. If he could laugh he would. He’s heard that before. Knowing damn well his last owner started off with “love” but quickly forgot about him. He never got comfortable enough to turn so what made you think he would here he wondered.

As days went on you grew fonder of him, seeing some of his goofy personality shine through. His scales looked a lot healthier, a beautiful dark shade with glints of goldish color in them. They matched his beautiful piercing gold eyes. He hissed at you a lot however never making any attempt at striking. After shifts at work you’d pick him up out of his tank, laying him on the couch as you watched tv. It was one of these nights that it changed.

You had done your normal taking him out laying him on the couch with a heating pad beside if he got to cold. He stayed there as you cooked dinner only to be startled from his sleep by a crashing sound. He could smell blood in the air his fork tongue flickering at the scent. “Fuck!” He heard you yell from the kitchen with a bit of rustling. He was scared something had happened that someone broke in. In his panic turning ‘human’. He ran into the kitchen only to see you on the floor holding your hand that was gushing blood.

“What the hell happened?” He said making you jump. He looked at you realizing he was ‘human’.

“You turned?” You said almost excitedly.

He couldn’t help but let out a nervous laugh “that shouldn’t be the focus right now, you’re literally bleeding” he said before grabbing a clean towel to wrap it around your hand.

You watched him looking over his features. He had a sharp jawline, slim but muscular physique, those gold eyes even prettier. When he started talking your eyes found themselves on his pillowy lips. You could see the small peak of fangs and to your surprise his tongue was split. You were just in awe taking him in not even realizing he was talking to you. Not until he lifted your head with his warm hand. “Hello? Are you listening? You probably need stitches” he said looking at you were furrowed brows.

You only nodded eyes still scanning over him. You grabbed your phone off the counter with your other hand calling your neighbor. He came over taking you to the hospital and you did in deed need stitches.

Your snake hybrid cleaned up the mess. He finished making the dinner you were working on before it happened and sat there. Waiting. Agonizingly waiting. When you came through the door he smiled sighing in relief. “Hey! Thanks for cleaning and- wait you finished dinner?” You said surprised.

“Yeah, how’s the hands?” He said.

“Ah well it’s not bleeding anymore” you said with a laugh.

“I can’t believe you cut yourself that deep, what were you doing? Dancing with the knife?” He teased.

“No this was all just a scheme to see if you’d come to my rescue” you teased back making him roll his eyes. “Since I can properly ask you now though, what’s your name?” You asked siting down at the counter.

“Hyunjin.” He said.

“Good now I can stop calling you snakey” you said laughing.

After that moment Hyunjin didn’t turn back for the most part. Sometimes you’d fined him curled up under his heating lamp, other times he’d be curled up on the couch under lots of blankets. Your routine continued coming home, cooking, sitting on the couch with him just watching tv. Now though, he talked back. He got into the habit of curling up against you when you came home. Your body’s heat always feeling so nice to him.

You came home today more exhausted than normal though. A fight braking out between some hybrids at work. You being in the middle of it when it happened. Today honestly wasn’t as normal as you thought. All the hybrids were acting weird around you. A lot more possessive and clingy. When you walked through the door thinking about it more you realized hyunjin hadn’t came out from his tank.

“Hyune, are you ok?” You asked leaning down over the tank. When he didn’t budge you picked him up like normal his skin scales feeling warm. He hissed at you baring his fangs. “Are you mad at me?” You said softly, making him stop. He slithered up your arm before slithering down your leg. He made his way to the bed before turning back to his human like form.

There was a moment of silence before he spoke. “I’m not mad at you. Ugh” he groaned. “Do you realize you’re ovulating?” He said with a loud groan.

“Am I? Is that why everyone’s been so weird today?” You questioned.

“Probably- god I don’t know how you went to work with all of them. You’re supposed to be mine” he said the end of his sentence trialing off.

“I am yours” you said quickly with out realizing your own words impact.

“Yeah?” He said looking up at you. Those gold eyes had a hint of something in them. “Then let me make you mine.” He said before grabbing your arm pulling you to him.

He didn’t give you anytime to protest before kissing you, his lips warm softer than you’d imagine. His kiss was hungry tongue quickly making its way into your mouth. His hands came down pulling your bottoms down quickly in one swift motion. He was moving so fast, his motions only driven by need. The need to have you all his, a primal need. His sharp fangs grazed your bottom lip as he moved down your neck. It was almost like he was a little vampire with those fangs. He kissed down your body, pulling your thighs up to him.

He licked his lips looking at your dripping cunt “she’s calling me” he said with a smirk before diving into your core. His fork tongue feeling way different from anything you’d ever had before. Both the muscles moving on their own as they lapped at your folds. His fingers came up to graze against your slick before pushing them into you. He curled them hitting a sensitive spot. The moan you let out only drove him to keep doing it. To hear it again and again. Your hands found their way to his long soft locks.

“Fuck Hyune” you moaned out.

“Feel good? Gonna cum on my tongue?” He said with a devilish smile.

You nodded making that smile only grow. He picked up his speed fingers finding another even more sensitive spot. With his pace and tongue lapping at your clit your high crashed quickly over you. Walls tightening around his fingers. He licked a long strip up eyes staining into yours. He wanted to keep going, wanted to keep tasting you all over him but he needed to be inside you. Fuck your smell alone was gonna make him nut in his pants.

He stood up pulling down his pants revealing his two curvy cocks. With shock, eyes widen you blurted out “you have two?!”

He couldn’t help but laugh “yeah, you didn’t know? Thought you read up on me” he said. He took your hand wrapping it around the bigger one “this one’s the main one, and th- this one” he stuttered as your hand grazed the smaller one “this one is super sensitive like your clit” he said.

You nodded staring intently at his cocks. He leaned you back pressing his body against your kissing you deeply. He slowly pushed himself into you, the smaller cock rubbing against your clit. He let out a hiss of pleasure before his mind went. He started pounding into you mercilessly. His smacking against yours. The sounds of moans and skin smacking filling the air with the scent of sex. He had his head buried in the crook of your neck his long fangs grazing so gently at it. “I shouldn’t even let you leave smelling this good, all of them got their gross scent on you.” He hissed. “I’m gonna make sure they know you’re taken.”

His thrusts continued fast before he gripped at your legs pressing them against your chest before drilling into you. The new angel letting him hit at your cervix. “Hyunjin!” You screamed hands coming up to touch his chest. He pulled out fully before pushing hard back into you however he felt bigger. You felt more pressure in your core like somehow his cock grew a size. The pornagraphic sound he let out made your eyes snap open looking down you realized why he felt bigger. His smaller cock has slipped in, your cunt sucking both of them so greedily.

“Sh-shit I- I- fuck!” His head rolled back not being able to even speak at the pleasure. The warmth overtaking his smaller cock making it twitch in over stimulation. He snapped his hips back one more time both cocks pushing deep inside of you before you were Cumming. Cumming harder than you have ever before. His body shook at the feeling. Your walls tightening more and more around him. He gripped at your hips harshly digging his nails into you. He cried out as his release finally spilled out painting your walls white.

When you stared to squirm a bit trying to adjust yourself, the movement pushing him deeper into you making him whimper. “D-don’t move” he pleaded. You realized his smaller cock was still hard. You smirked up at him before moving away only to push back on him. He gasped almost like the wind was knocked out of him. His hands tried to stop your movement but one more push back his smaller cock was cumming.

He had the most intense orgasm, his body shook body falling to the side of you. He tried regaining his breath “I’ve- I’ve never- with my smaller” his words coming out choppy but you knew what he meant.

You pushed some of his hair back kissing him softly. “M’sorry for- I should have asked” he said still out of breath.

“It’s ok hyune honestly after today kinda needed it” you said with a smile.

“Gl-glad I could help.” He said nuzzling his head into your neck. His breathing was still heavy as you stroked his back.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp @ldysmfrst @felixleftchickennugget @jehhskz @babigriin @kkamismom12 @jeonginsleftcheek

[allaboutthemoonlight]

How to Build Self Discipline

Cultivating self-discipline is the way towards personal growth and achieving long-term goals. To me, it’s really all about making choices that honor your well-being and identity.

Understand that self-discipline is about self love and respect

It’s not about punishment or deprivation, but rather caring for yourself enough to make choices that align with your long-term well-being and goals.

You’re showing yourself the respect you deserve by honoring and committing to changes you want to make.

It’s all about recognizing your worth and having the motivation and courage to pursue what’s really best for you, even when it requires a lot of effort and decision-making.

Frame your identity in a way that includes discipline

How we act directly ties to our identities and how we believe we are. If you believe you’re a successful individual, you’ll live a life framed by confidence and determination. If you believe you’re someone who is lazy and unmotivated, you’ll struggle to find the drive to pursue your goals and aspirations.

Gaining discipline is all about acting as the person you believe you are and moving through life in a way that’s consistent with your determined identity. The key here is to try to imagine who you are at your highest self in a disciplined state of mind.

To start this, ask yourself these questions and slowly arrange your life in a way so there’s no distance between who you are now and your highest self:

What does your day look like

What do you eat

What do you wear

What does your week look like

What does your work day look like

What hobbies do you have

What’s your morning and night routine

Who are you surrounded by

What do you say yes and no to

Have systems in your life

I recently wrote a post about habits and mentioned the idea of systems versus goals. Here, I want to delve a bit deeper into that concept within the context of self-discipline.

To me, another way to truly live a disciplined life is to establish starting systems, something that will propel you past hurdles and reduce the friction that accompanies change.

Let’s say you want to improve your eating habits and cultivate discipline in consuming less sugar while incorporating more whole foods into your diet. You could begin by implementing a system of prepping healthy snacks or meals in advance at the start of each week, or however you see fit. By having these snacks readily available, you eliminate the need for decision-making, making it easier to adhere to your goal.

Anything that serves as a reminder or facilitates consistent action toward your desired outcome is a valuable system in your life.

Be okay with not doing something and embrace the mindset of small wins

This may seem paradoxical in the context of developing self-discipline, but being okay with not doing something is crucial. There are times in life when we need tough love and motivation, but there are also moments when compassion is the driving force that propels us forward.

When you don’t follow through with something, whether it’s going for a run or preparing a healthy dinner, it’s important to be okay with it. You don’t need to shame yourself or feel guilty for not taking action because that will only reinforce negative thought patterns, making it harder to create the change you desire.

Consider this: if you miss a planned run and spiral into self-criticism, you’re more likely to avoid running altogether. However, if you approach the situation with understanding and compassion, you’ll be more inclined to try again next time.

This is where small daily victories come into play. Sometimes, all we need is one small step forward to develop a new habit and maintain consistency. Whatever you're striving to improve or change, if it feels daunting, tell yourself, "Just for today, I'll do a 15-minute workout instead of the full hour," or "Just for today, I'll read 5 pages instead of the entire chapter," and celebrate these as small victories. Doing so not only helps you establish new habits but also allows you to acknowledge the progress you've made and the trust you've built within yourself.

—Luna

[eugenedebs1920]

You know!? It ticks me off this perception that Donald Trump, J.D. (Jerkin Dicks)Vance, even Musk, is somehow manly. I mean, Trump and Ol Jerkin D wear more makeup than my wife! You can’t say that’s all just for television. Musk looks like if Smeagal had only kept the ring for 250 years as opposed to 500. His Prrreeeccciooouussss. None of those guys project masculinity. It’s the varsity cricket team and their weird gangly friend.

Does anyone remember when Trump tried to act like he knew how to use a shovel 🤣🤣🤣 That sh*t cracked me up!! Like ‘MFer, where have you seen someone attempt to shovel like that!?’

Then J. Dick Vance projects uncertainty in his sexual identity. It cool if your gay, but don’t fight being gay so much that you are viscous to women and marginalize those who’ve figured out who they are and are not overcompensating for it. it’s coo Jerkin D! We’ll still hate you either way.

I’m pretty sure Musk is a supervillain. But like if Dollar General had a comic book action figure series.. He’d be the main villain in that. Corneal Creepy McBillions, somethin like that.

These guys definitely got picked on in grade school and vowed to get revenge by making everyone else miserable. Thanks bullies! 😑

Speaking of. If you haven’t constantly put people down, talk sh*t on people, (I realize the irony as I’m sh*t talking these f*cks but, physically I don’t think any of them could take me, but power wise, what they could have done to me!! They’d ruin my world..) pinpoint and pick on a vulnerable individual or group, pretty much, if you get hard by making people laugh at or join in on teasing or bullying someone, that itself reeks of insecurity. It shows the flaws in yourself, you’re hiding by putting those flaws onto others before someone sees them in you. Trump is the master of that! If he accuses someone of something, he’s definitely guilty of it.

It doesn’t make you any less of a man to be kind. It’s isn’t a feminine to treat women with respect. It doesn’t make you macho to be a prick. Being racist and ostracizing immigrants doesn’t protrude masculine traits.

You know what women find sexy. Confidence. Knowing who you are, what your values are, compassion, knowing the difference between proper and improper, and sticking to those principles regardless what others would say or entice you to do. Being a good person, because that the good thing to do, proud of oneself, but knowing there’s always room to grow and learn.

I certainly don’t see what’s would constitute being attractive when you are borderline in a cult, infatuate with a 80 year old politician who bankrupted casinos, been accused by 23 women and adjudicated for sexual assault, shameless grifter, hateful, cruel, racist, bully f*ck. It’s just, sorry to say it, weird.

I have a heart and care for people, I build houses for a living. I believe in equality and the rights for EVERYONE, I can rebuild an engine. I think women are people (who knew!?) and should be in control of their own destiny, I am pro 2nd amendment and love to go shooting.

I’ve been in bar brawls, climbed mountains, go hunting, chop wood, ride atv’s, snowboard, go 4wheelin, camping, have a big beard, drink beer, and I think everyone is entitled to dignity, despite their sexual preference, race, religion, gender, what their hair looks like, whatever. Why? Because it’s basic human respect.

The last 2 times America actually won a war it was Democratic (BIG D 😉) administrations. The only 2 presidential administrations to not add to the deficit in the last, nearly 60 years, were both big D Democratic administrations. Democrats passed the Civil Rights Act, all the racist Dixiecrats jumped ship and became Republican. Democrats nominated and elected the first African American president. We have TWICE nominated a woman at the top of the ticket.

While Republicans are whining about having to wear a mask LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE DID, Democrats passed legislation to address the problem of unemployment, of vaccinations, of shipping logistics, while they were at it passed a HUGE infrastructure package, invested billions in green energy (our future) and ensured national security by manufacturing the technology materials needed to be the best in the world. Simultaneously creating a ton of well paying, respectable middle class jobs.

The right is too busy talking about Jewish space lasers, and checking out Hunter Biden’s junk, and keeping weed illegal, and worrying about bathrooms and sh*t.

How is that manly at all?! Acting like a bunch of whiny immature kids! They even whine when they win!! It’s stupid! It’s a waste of time, money and energy. Just grow up and do the job you’re elected to do!

So yea… I would say the right isn’t the vision of manhood they pretend they are. It’s overgrown children, spoiled to the core, acting out because they want it their way 😤

What shows manliness is doing your job, and doing it to the best of your ability. Being a kindhearted person and willing to help someone in need. Being true to yourself, and in turn others. Being knowledgeable yet willing to learn. Being brave, but admitting when you’re scared.

[chaos-bites]

⚖️ Subtle Tyr Worship 🛡️

Try to take your promises more seriously; do your best to fulfill them

Own a weapon - be it self-defense or just one you admire

Take a walk/hike in nature; try to challenge yourself with doing a more difficult route (within reason; look after your well-being)

Have a candle that reminds you of him (no altar needed)

Wear jewelry that reminds you of him

Keep a picture of him in your wallet

Take a walk alongside a stream

Support causes you believe in; homeless shelters, humanitarian organizations, etc.

Volunteer at a homeless or animal shelter

Practice compassion towards others and yourself

Engage in random acts of kindness; holding the door for someone, offering to help someone carry something, giving to a family in need, etc.

Have a stuffed animal of any creatures you associate with justice, fairness, or courage; have a wolf stuffed animal

Keep imagery of spears/weapons, shields, scales, Viking warriors, promises/others, or self-sacrifice (specifically for the greater good) around

Practice patience and restraint, especially with people who bother/annoy you; you can also practice this towards yourself

Find healthy outlets for your emotions; martial arts, building, crafting, drawing, writing, etc.

Learn about emotional regulation; practice emotional regulation

Try to consider all perspectives in a situation; try to understand things from another's point of view; try not to immediately cast judgement

Practice not engaging in needless gossip; such things can end up being extremely harmful to all parties later on

Learn about healthy conflict resolution skills; try to implement these in your next conflict

Practice becoming more comfortable with the idea of conflict; it is only natural that we sometimes will disagree with people - that is not always a bad thing

Go outside of your comfort zone; challenge yourself by doing things/taking risks that intimidate you (to a reasonable degree)

Do someone else's chores or a task that is tough for them; offer to shovel snow for someone or do some yard work for them

Challenge yourself with some hard work; do something with your hands

Assert your boundaries; discover what your personal boundaries are; not all boundaries need be spoken

Let someone know when they've done something that bothers you; this is a kindness to both of you - a chance for them to learn

Tend to a garden - something that takes hard work or brings you peace

Feed neighborhood cats, dogs, birds, etc.

Donate supplies to homeless or animal shelters; hygiene kits are great for homeless, animal food and treats for animal

Focus on building a foundation of personal strength; know yourself inside and out; don't buy into the dumb things people may say, you know yourself better than others

Listen to your gut; work on trusting yourself

Exercise; get some movement throughout the day

Make something for someone else; make a gift yourself; a drawing/painting, a wood carving, a knitted blanket, a handmade candle, etc.

Check in with your loved ones more often, even just a quick "Hey, how are you" or "I love you"

Bake or cook something for your neighbors; hand them out; cookies, pastries, biscuits, etc.

Restore a vintage item; clean a toy or.important item from your childhood; take good care of your family heirlooms

Engage in family traditions or create your own c:

Get more comfortable with compromises; in disagreements, try to suggest them

If it's not something you're practiced at, learn to agree to disagree; we don't always have to prove our points, and that's ok

After a difficult day, take a warm bath/shower

Try your hand at a new skill or hobby

Support someone through a difficult time; support yourself through a difficult time

Know your limits when helping others; you need not sacrifice yourself for everyone you meet

Treat yourself with the same love and kindness that you treat others with

Make a list of your personal strengths; try to recognize them when they show up - maybe do this on a weekly, bi-weelky, or monthly basis

Surprise a loved one you live with by hanging up affirmational post it notes somewhere they'll see it; you can also do this for yourself

Get more comfortable with the idea that we don't get along with everyone; it's ok if someone doesn't like you

-

This is my list of discreet ways to worship Tyr. I hope someone finds this helpful. I'll likely add more in the future. Take care, everyone! 🧡

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

[tuliptic]

🐇 Best Way To Show Yourself Love

We have been talking about love and since Valentine’s coming up, why not we talk about loving ourselves? Have we thought of how to show ourselves some love? And in what form?

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: What is the best way to show yourself more love? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1    -     Pile 2

Pile 3    -     Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever that you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. That aside, I do not consent to my work or images used here to be used by third parties on this platform or other websites.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck.

Pile 1

Main theme of querent - The Fool, The High Priestess

You're someone young in energy and yet has an old soul at the same time. You're probably someone who has tapped into your spiritual abilities and has been using them subconsciously. There’s some form of learning I’m seeing? There’s a chance that you’re also learning some stuffs of spirituality and learning to be more in tune with yourself.

What do you need in terms of love - King of Swords rx

You need rationality and structure, you need things that are concrete, you need stability instead of flightiness. Some form of maturity, some mature energy. I have a feeling that some of you may be Saturn dominant as well. There’s also some sort of empathy and compassion that you need due to the over rationality that you have.

Why do you need those needs fulfilled - Four of Swords

You’ve been deprived of love for yourself. You’ve been giving out love until you’re nothing but an empty husk. You need structure for yourself, so that you won’t over give until you’re empty, and that you need people to love you too, you need those compassion directed towards you. You’ve been so, so tired of giving and giving, never receiving. So it’s time that you learn how to set boundaries.

When, especially, you need to love yourself more - The Magician

When you want others to love you. Lemme explain. When you want people to love you, when you wanna “manifest” love into your life, it’s a sign that you’re not loving yourself enough that you want to rely on other people to love you, to validate you. It shouldn’t be that way. You should love yourself more, and other people will follow suit to love you when they see you loving yourself, knowing that you’re worthy of love. I hope I’m making sense here.

How can you love yourself more? - Four of Wands rx

Be in harmony with yourself. I know it’s difficult but this is something that takes a long time as it’s a lifelong process (I say as though I’ve been through an entire lifetime). But for real, face that fear in you, nurture your inner child, celebrate every small wins, etc. Start from something small, as every small wins will build up to a huge win. Know that you’re on the right path and believe in yourself.

What will it be like when you’ve loved yourself more - The Hierophant

You’ll be more grounded and less flighty. You’ll learn how to look at things from various perspectives and learn how to nurture yourself better, starting with yourself. For some reason, I’m also seeing that people will respect you more? Maybe cuz of the boundaries you’ve set, maybe because you’ve learnt to pamper yourself and work on yourself more instead of focusing on others? Either way, the change in you will be evident that people’s view on you will change. But most importantly, the change in you will be evident to you as well, where you’ll learn how to focus on yourself more.

Advices for you - Five of Wands rx

Release whatever tension that’s within you. It’s not easy, so let’s start with remembering that life is not a competition, that there’s no need to keep rushing and comparing with other people. There isn’t a necessity to keep running away from conflicts. Avoid what can be avoided, face up what needs to be faced. Just listen to your heart, it’s stronger than the anxiety you have in you.

Extra card - Three of Cups rx

Spend some time for yourself, meditate if needed. There’s a huge call for independence for this pile. Maybe some of you have been relying on others, some have been relying on substance/alcohol. But most of all, most of y’all have been relying on external validations, as mentioned in the above sections. Let your dreams guide you, inspire you, let your heart show you the way. Find the missing piece in your heart and accept limitless joy into your life.

Overall energy - The Empress, Wheel of Fortune

There’s fear I see in this pile, where you’ve been waiting for The Fated Time to save you out from your problems and all. There’s a need to nurture yourself. Your higher self is calling you to connect with them and they want to help you to nurture yourself. Dreams may be significant so focus on them, do not fear the dreams and the mysterious notion behind. 

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Pile 2

Main energy of querent - Chariot rx

There’s some form of stagnancy here, like you’re standing at a crossroad and you have no idea which direction to head. There’s no strength nor will nor balance in you, and there’s some form of flighty energy where you just wanna charge without thinking, but there’s also a rational energy stopping you, and now you’re at a stalemate.

What do you need in terms of love - Seven of Cups rx

You need some form of personal alignment, you need to readjust and find the values you stand for, and live with it. You still don’t know the values you wanna hold on to, your baseline, and you need to spend time to find them. I feel that messages around you are important, like the Universe is guiding you to find your values. It’s like trying an error, where you notice something’s wrong when something off happens, and you’ll go “Oh that’s a red flag for me.”

Why do you need those needs fulfilled - Two of Cups

There’s a need to nurture yourself and to be in harmony with yourself. This card to me is a couple card, so there may be a reason that you need those needs fulfilled so that you can find the other half you’ve been craving. Always, and I mean always, love yourself first, then only you can attract someone of your mentality and someone who can reciprocate the energy (in this case, reciprocate your love to them).

When, especially, you need to love yourself more - The Fool

Everytime. The Fool is a card that talks about new beginnings, and he’s always on a journey to meet the various cards. So yeah, you need to constantly love yourself, you need to constantly remind yourself that you’re worthy of love. Know that whatever that happens around you is planned, it’s like a divine timing, where everything will happen in place.

How can you love yourself more? - Eight of Pentacles

Aim for more variety, expose yourself to various things, various skills. The more things you learn, the more interested you become, and you’ll realize how amazing you are. Especially when you’ve learnt to master a certain skill. There are people around you who support who you wanna be and they share your values. I feel that this is a very pleasant card cuz it’s not only you, but there are people around you who fully support you.

What will it be like when you’ve loved yourself more - Four of Pentacles

You'll be more self assured, like there’s some form of stability and security for yourself. You’ll be able to hold on to your values and for some reason, I see spending on yourself more? Like, you’ll learn to pamper yourself more instead of pampering others. It’s not really a bad thing but just be aware to not let yourself be isolated from your social circles, and to also treat others nicely too.

Advices for you - Ace of Cups rx, Five of Swords

Right now, you’re probably experiencing an unhealthy uhhh bunch of emotions. There may be some hold back or over venting your emotions over a situation to a close one. It’s difficult to balance out and you constantly feel defeated over that particular situation. It’s high time for you to take charge of your emotions and to not let it rule over you. Worry not, it’s time for you to heal and move on, and things will move rather fast compared to what you originally expected.

Overall energy - The Lovers, Death rx

I have a feeling that some of you are questioning relationship related items. Maybe the unhealthy bunch of emotions mentioned earlier are due to this? No matter what it is, you’re currently unable to move from it. There’s some form of past that is linked to this issue that is haunting you, making you unable to move forward. However, things are bound to change. You’ll need to learn how to let go. With the help of your dreams, know that you are ready to make changes towards a new you.

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Pile 3

Overall theme of querent - The Chariot

Unlike Pile 2, your energy is fast forward. You’re prolly the type of person with the motto “Do first, think later”. You charge ahead fearlessly, you love fearlessly. You do it because you know that others won’t do, and even if it may harm you. You’re going forward at a fast pace without looking around much. You probably should slow down and also consider some other options as you’re traveling on your way, so you can make the choices that will benefit you the most.

What do you need in terms of love - Three of Swords rx

Healing is needed in terms of love. You’ve been through too many hardships and that has kept you on your toes, that has made you work for others to earn their love. This should not be the case. People who naturally love you will love you for who you are. You don’t need to earn their love and respect. You are already deserving of love, and you need to learn that.

Why do you need those needs fulfilled - Nine of Swords rx

To release yourself from whatever dark thoughts that have been haunting you. It must have been tiring, lonely and cold to walk on this road alone. You have never been selfish for yourself, always have been working and wanting the best for others. This has thrown you into some turmoil and has been making your mind wander around to the negative side more. Do know that your vulnerability shows how human you are, and you should allow it to honour your inner grace, wisdom and beauty.

When, especially, you need to love yourself more - Nine of Cups

When you need emotional fulfillment. The cards are all linked together from the various sections. You have been deprived and now, you need to love yourself the most when you want yourself to feel full of love. No greater love comes from within you. Your guides have been sending various messages and hints to you to tell you to love yourself more when things have been difficult, to pamper yourself more. Have you noticed the things that you wanted are on sale? It’s time for you to get it!

How can you love yourself more? - Knight of Wands

Go on an adventure, have a change of pace, see things from some other point of view, enjoy and let yourself be impulsive at times. You need to start to take action to change your life for the better, and it’s all up to you. No one can make you change, no prep talk would be able to do that. It has to come from within you, that you need to let go of whatever burden that’s holding you back and let yourself be free, to go and do whatever you’ve wanted to do.

What will it be like when you’ve loved yourself more - Strength

You become stronger. No I’m not talking about the physical sense of being stronger, I’m talking about the mental and emotional state of you getting stronger, more at peace and more affirmative with yourself. You have more claim, more power over yourself, over your own emotions. You control your emotions, you’re taming the lion, not letting the lion of emotions rule over you.

Advices for you - King of Cups rx 

There are themes of self sabotage that I’m seeing here. So take this as a warning to be conscious of what you’re doing, to make sure that you’re not treating yourself unfairly. There may be times where you’re extremely moody but know that those times will pass. Love others by loving yourself. Stop self-sabo. I don’t know what else to say cuz that particular theme is just screaming out at me.

Extra cards - Death, Four of Swords rx

Change is needed. You’ve been stagnant for so long and that’s doing you no good. You’re no longer in your comfort zone, you’re in your mold zone, because you’ve been there and have not moved a little bit at all. Which calls upon change, change in point of view at least, where you move from one place to another and to have a different view, to have a different experience, to experience wonder, delight and joy. 

Overall energy - Strength, The Empress

Strength has appeared again and this time, it’s paired with the lady who tames the fiercest beasts, the Empress. There’s a feminine strength to this pile’s energy, where you’re in tune with your feminine energy and know when to use it. You also know how to let yourself be surrounded by those who share your visions and values, and you also support them. There’s some Moon energy as well here so some of you may be Moon dominants.

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Pile 4

Overall theme of querent - The Fool rx, The Sun rx, The High Priestess rx

First of all, Pile 4, are y’all okay? The cards legit flew out and it made me go 👀. Have y’all been reckless recently? I have a feeling that y’all have been doing shit on impulse and then regretting it and then doing it again just because. There’s also some risky yet withdrawal kinda energy here and I certainly hope that none of you are doing substances or unhealthy habits or addictions like please. (I feel like I’m calling out myself)

What do you need in terms of love - Knight of Swords

First thought is words of affirmation. Love letters are something you’d die to receive. There’s a huge mental energy that’s here, giving me the feeling that you’d prefer intelligence over emotional sensitivity. But then this card here is telling you that you need patience, compassion and kindness as well, else everything will not be balanced. Love comes in a full package, where everything needs to be present to make your heart feel full.

Why do you need those needs fulfilled - Five of Pentacles

The feeling of being all forlorn and forsaken have been looming over you. You’re probably someone who has lost faith. You can only help yourself to push yourself out of this state of grief, pain and loss. I think it’s cuz you’re going through something tough and hence, you’ve been relying on external things to help you cope with whatever you’re experiencing. You need people to be patient with you, be kind to you so that you can have that spark of faith back again.

When, especially, you need to love yourself more - Six of Swords

When you’re transitioning into a new phase of life. You need that courage to move from this phase of… Slump into a new and brighter place. And you need to give yourself time, allow yourself to be vulnerable to be able to heal and move on. Know that you yourself create peace, prosperity and joy in your life. You are in charge of your life, you are the one who’s gonna decide when you’re gonna move into that new phase, where will that new phase be.

How can you love yourself more? - Four of Cups

Contemplate, evaluate, meditate. Contemplate on your visions, on what you want; evaluate yourself to see if you’ve been working towards what you’ve wanted; meditate to let your heart be at ease. You can also surround yourself with those who support your vision and share your values. Self introspection is required, but having a community that supports you to be better is equally important.

What will it be like when you’ve loved yourself more - The Hanged Man rx

You’ll be able to move on from whatever that’s holding you back. You’ll be learning to see new things from different perspectives and get moving, awakening with a feeling of being energised and you’ll be able to begin your day with gratitude. You have the ability to spring to action and to move on, but it’s entirely up to you if you wanna do it or nah.

Advices for you - Ace of Swords rx

There’s a lot of clouds being around you, hindering you from obtaining your inner clarity. This card is here to tell you to think twice or thrice when you’re about to do something, to define your goals. Check for any disturbances that may be preventing you from achieving mental clarity and happiness. Let your thoughts to flow and maybe write them down with the various methods, 5W1H or the various Whys to get to the root cause of a particular thought or emotions.

Overall energy - Judgement, Two of Swords rx

There’s some form of fear of judgement that I’m seeing here. There’s some form of indecision here, where you have no idea you want to spend that energy and time to change, or you wanna continue to be in your current state. In the case you wanna change, I’d suggest you to start by getting into the kitchen and making yourself a simple meal, where it can symbolise you moving from the old to the new.

[thesirencult]

ASTROLOGY ON : HOW TO FIND YOUR PURPOSE

by @thesirencult

Purpose. A heavy word. Some argue we have a purpose and others that we come here as visitors and our path is not predestined.

I'm one of those that believe we have multiple paths ahead of us and with each choice we make they narrow down. I also would argue that our purpose is more of an inner compass and how we approach things, not what we do.

If someone's purpose is to heal then they can heal others through writing music, by teaching martial arts to abused individuals or by being a doctor.

Through that prism I will be exploring purpose through our chart. This is a general guide and if you want a personal reading just contact me. But I believe this essay can help you connect the dots by yourself !

1. The Big 3

Whatever I analyze as an astrologer I first look at the Sun, Moon and ASC. They are out foundation.

A fiery Moon in Aries, along with A Scorpio Sun and Sagittarius ASC would still gravitate to martian themes and have a fighter/survivor/champion's spirit.

2. Mars

Mars can show what drives us. What we are willing to fight for. We can look at Mars and its location in the chart to see what/who gets us going and how/where.

Mars in Sagittarius in the 2nd house can make you great at multiplying money. You are a great value investor in general and have ethical awareness. A Mars in Scorpio in the 6th will channel that spirit mostly towards physical activities. That person would make a great military figure or a rough trainer pushing people to their limits consistently and teaching others self perseverance.

3. Sagittarius/Jupiter + Pisces/Neptune

Another great indicator for me. Where you are a teacher and where you give without expecting anything back in return.

4. MC

Your highest sense of purpose. What you believe people should work towards. What you invest in. A Leo MC works for glory and pride. It doesn't come out of a place of superficiality, as the ASC is in Scorpio, but from a place of what they place on a pedestal.

4-10 axis can show how we are in the house and what we want to look like on the outside.

5. N.Node + S.Node

South is what you are a master of and North what you strive to master in this lifetime. Their location in the chart can show where you start off and where you are supposed to get to.

A S.Node in Capricorn in the 3rd house shows that a person is very good at mental tasks. They have mastered the Mercurial arts and can use that as their starting point to build up. A Capricorn South Node can also indicate Saturnian themes in early life, of isolation and being "more mature" than our age.

If we experience and accept the lessons we will be moving towards our purpose. Isolation will make us soft on the inside with strong boundaries like a crab. We will love those who share our values and have a philosophical spirit and a free minded attitude.

Our ability to focus on details at first will turn us into great visionaries as we evolve. Great historians, entrepreneurs and strategists exhibit these characteristics.

[cool-fancier]

Unlikely Heroine

Synopsis: The mysterious Bada Lee lived in the peaceful building next door. Her beauty first drew you in despite being distant. When your ex-boyfriend stormed in one night, Bada saved the day, establishing a connection that grew stronger over common interests. You both revealed your feelings to one another on a rooftop under the night, beginning a remarkable relationship that led to the intriguing neighbour becoming a beloved friend and love interest.

Living in the peaceful flat next door was Bada Lee, a mysterious and graceful woman. She appeared uninterested in the world outside her door as she went about her regular tasks.  But you couldn't help but be drawn to her; she was a picture of beauty and grace that had you captivated.

You had been living in the same building for months and often caught glimpses of Bada in the elevator or hallway.  Her flowing dark and blonde highlighted hair, perfect sense of style, and the mysterious aura that enveloped her were all things you couldn't help but notice. She appeared distant and far away, like an unreachable star.

You eventually gave up trying to talk to her as time passed. She didn't seem to be much interested in her neighbours, so you decided to content yourself with observing her from a distance.

One awful night, when you were relaxing in your flat after an exhausting day, your door got an unexpected and unpleasant knock. When you unlocked it, your ex-boyfriend was there, angry and drunk.  His motives were obvious. he wanted your return no matter whether you want him in back.

Your heart was bursting with fear as you struggled to fight him off, but he persisted without restraint.  His loud voice caused a disturbance that echoed down the hallway and drew the attention of your neighbours.

When you believed there was nothing else to do, Bada Lee appeared at the door next to yours and swung it open. Her typically cool, collected demeanour had changed to one of furious determination. She gave your ex-boyfriend a burning gaze that caused him to shiver.

She spoke the words, "Enough," in a voice that would not allow for debate. "Get away immediately and leave."

She enters the room with authority, and your ex-boyfriend was startled by it. He stammered, "Who are you?"

Bada's reply was straightforward yet effective. "In this building, I won't put up with harassment. Now go."

He stumbled away while cursing under his breath because of her comments and attitude. Bada held her ground until he was gone from sight before turning to you and giving you a worried expression.

Her voice softened as she questioned, "Are you okay?"

Even though you were still in shock, you were able to nod. "Yes, I'm grateful. Without your help, I don't know what I would have done."

Bada gave a comforting grin. "Everyone gets a little assistance from their neighbours. I'm hoping he won't bother you ever again."

Your luck was beyond words.  The modest neighbouring woman had not only seen you but had also helped you out when you were in trouble. It was a kind act that showed a lot about her character and made you once feel appreciative and intrigued.

You said, "Thank you, Bada," your voice full of genuine appreciation.  "I don't think I've introduced myself properly.  I'm [Your Name]."

Bada held out her hand as her cheeks were somewhat flushed. "I'm Bada Lee. It's nice to meet you, [Your Name]."

You couldn't help but feel as you shook her hand that this chance contact marked a new chapter in your life—one in which the mysterious woman next door was no longer just a gorgeous stranger but an unexpected heroine who had saved you at the crucial moment.

You became more and more drawn to Bada in the days that followed. Her brave  and thoughtful deed stayed in your mind. You had been captivated by her strength and compassion as well as her lovely beauty because she had shown them to you when you were weak and in need.

One evening, as you and someone else were both in the lobby of the building checking your mailboxes, you gathered up the nerve to start a discussion. "Bada, I wanted to thank you again for helping me that night. It meant a lot to me."

The corners of Bada's eyes wrinkled as she grinned. "You're very welcome, [Your Name]. I couldn't stand by and let someone harass my neighbor."

You continued, encouraged by her warm response, "I've always noticed how quiet you are, but you truly shocked me. You're not just a lovely neighbor, you're also incredibly brave."

Bada's flush grew stronger and she took a minute to look down before catching your eye. "I appreciate you saying that. I guess I've been quite private for a while."

As your conversations grew in frequency, you realised that Bada was much more sophisticated than first appeared. She loved to dance and was a talented one at that and she had your enthusiasm for classic literature. It seems that she had a sophisticated and detailed world hidden underneath her guarded appearance.

You couldn't help but think that as your friendship grew, it may one day develop into something more. However, you were cautious since you weren't sure if Bada shared your views or if she was merely acting as a good neighbour and friend.

Bada turned to you one night as you were both relaxing on the building's rooftop and admiring the distant city lights. "[Your Name] knows that I cherish our friendship more than words can say. You've brought a lot of light into my life."

Your heart was thumping as you gazed into her eyes. "Bada, I feel the same way about you. I've loved having you as a friend, and I cherish our time together so much.

Bada rarely showed vulnerability, but her stare indicated more. "I have to admit something, [Your Name]. I came here with the hope of a new beginning free from the burdens of my old life.  But since meeting you, you've encouraged me to look for more than just a new beginning. I now want to actually live because of you."

Your hope swelled making your heart skip a beat. "Bada, I feel the same way. I had no intention of meeting someone like you, who makes my heart beat faster every time we talked."

Bada reached out for your hand with a kind grin on her lips, sending a shiver through your veins as her touch. "I'm glad we found each other, [Your Name]. Maybe it was fate that brought us together that night."

You both realised that this chance encounter was unique as you sat next to one other on the rooftop under the starlit sky. It was a bond forged in the quiet moments, in acts of bravery, and in the shared dreams that filled the night.

And as your hands joined, you sensed the start of a new chapter, one in which the mysterious neighbour was no longer just a lovely stranger but a treasured friend who had saved you and won your heart in the process.

[pudding-pompurin]

I love yoo - Kousuke x reader

In which y/n meets Kousuke Hirahara while delivering files as a business partner, only to be sprayed with makeup remover.

Genre: Normal, platonic

Word count: 806

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of a bar, mentions of alcohol, "friendly" banter.

You walked through the large building of the Hirahara building, stopping when you saw the large plaque Kousuke Hirahara displayed on the large wooden door. 

"Excuse me?" You knocked. "I need to speak with Mister Hirahara about an urgent matter." 

After much silence, you were preparing to contact him through your phone until the door suddenly swung open while a large spray of mist met your face. 

"What the f- I mean, what is the meaning of this?" You quickly corrected yourself as you felt the liquid drip down your face. 

"For the last time, Meg, I don't want to go out with......" 

Through your blurred vision, you could see a man wearing a navy blue suit holding the door with a shocked expression on his face. 

"Oh, uhm.. I'm.." 

Without a second word, you speed walked toward the exit of the main building, not even looking up to see anyone. However, you didn't need to reach your car to know what your face must have looked like from the gasps and snickers following your every step. 

Opening the compass mirror, you saw mascara dripping down your chin while eyeliner blended and smudged with your delicately placed eyeshadow. 

"Fuck, who the hell was that bitch." You were literally on the verge of tears because of how ruined the eyeliner you spent hours upon hours irritating your skin looked. The number of times you almost stabbed your eye to make your eyeliner wings look at least decent became ruined due to whatever that prick had sprayed on your face. 

Being the daughter of another wealthy CEO made you need to constantly be aware of your language around other people, especially future business partners. Today, you had to deliver files required for a transaction between your family company and the Hirahara company. This was all going to be secured by a masquerade ball held by the Hirahara's to uphold a standing relationship between the two families, although, you knew it was just for the look and aesthetic. 

If there was now a choice between attending or not, your immediate decision would be to continue studying for the university entrance exams. 

-----------

As it fell into the night, you carefully exited the large car your family showed off at formal events. The mask covering your face was adorned with tiny crystals on strips of lace. Sitting on top of everything was a small feather and flower, matching with the rest of your relatives.  

"Y/n." Your father's voice spoke lowly beside you. "Please watch your language tonight, as this is quite a formal event. I will allow you to go into the bars if it means you keep your mouth shut." 

Honestly, this seemed like a pretty fair deal to you, as many close calls from you on the verge of swearing had put you in hot waters. 

Small groups of other people in masks gathered around snack tables, which was where you immediately headed. 

Your eyes scanned the endless deserts as you immersed yourself in the bland conversations of others around you as you held tightly onto your plate. 

Spotting a slice of tiramisu, you reached to grab it from the table before someone handheld it from the opposite side. Looking up, you saw the same blue suit of the prick who had sprayed you with who knows what. 

"Excuse me?" You take a deep breath, deciding to let go of the incident. For now. "I was going to take that tiramisu." 

You say while tugging on the plate and maintaining direct eye contact with the rude ass guy.

"No, I believe I grabbed this tiramisu first. Kindly take your hands off." He retorted. 

Damn, the nerve of that guy was going to boil you in anger. 

You continued dragging the tiramisu closer to you until the sudden pull on his end caused it to crash onto the ground. 

"Are you serious-". You began to say before realizing that being seen in another situation such as this could lead to another rumor about the heir of Y/n company doing blah blah bullshit. 

So, without a second thought, you booked it out of there and upstairs into a bar. The immediate change in vibes was insane, with rap and disco lights shining weird reflections of color onto the glass wine bottles. 

"Can I just have an iced water?" You shouted over the blaring music. 

Sitting into the backless chairs, you released a sigh and rested your head on your hand. How can a single guy spoil so much in a person's day?

The second your water hit the table, you snatched it and walked into an empty balcony. Your hands were turning numb due to the cold air and the ice cooling your drink. You began to enjoy the peace of being outside without the perfect facade everyone put on. 

A/n: Please tell me If you would like a part two to this.

[climbtopeace]

The Silent Battle: Reflections on Trauma, Healing, and Hope

Mental health can feel like a battlefield—both in the mind and in the body. For many of us struggling with trauma, the fight is not always visible to others, but it is all-consuming. Recently, I found myself at a critical juncture in my own mental health journey. As I spend my last day at the Crisis Center, I'm taking a moment to reflect on some important lessons I've learned, and I want to share them with you in the hope that they resonate with someone who may be facing their own silent battles.

The Importance of Connection

One of the most striking moments during my time at the center was a conversation with a woman named Tara. She was my age and, like me, had experienced her own struggles. But what stood out was her kindness, compassion, and, most importantly, her ability to listen. In that exchange, I was reminded of something I had long pushed aside: the importance of connection.

For years, I’ve isolated myself, convincing myself that I didn’t need anyone, that opening up would be a burden to others. But in that conversation with Tara, I realized how much I had been missing out on by building walls around myself. People are what make life bearable, and I need to let myself rely on others a little more. It’s hard for me to ask for help—I’ve always felt like my feelings might be too much for others to carry—but now I’m learning that vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s a strength.

The Ongoing Struggle with PTSD and Trauma

Living with PTSD is like having your nervous system constantly on high alert. It's like being in fight or flight mode without a clear threat, your body and mind locked in a struggle you can't always understand. Even though I’ve been working hard to manage it, I’ve realized just how deeply embedded my trauma is. There are moments when I feel like I’m doing okay, but then something small can trigger a storm inside me that I can’t explain.

Earlier in my time at the center, I had one of those triggers. On the outside, I was calm, but inside, my body was reacting to a past I couldn’t fully grasp. I think that’s what’s so frustrating about trauma—it doesn’t always make sense. It can be a fight that feels invisible to others, but it’s all too real for those of us living with it. Despite the confusion and the overwhelming feelings of panic or fear, I know I can’t let this trauma take over my life. I’ve been working on staying grounded, and even though it’s difficult, I’m committed to continuing the fight.

The Struggle with Coping Mechanisms

Like many people dealing with mental health issues, I’ve had my share of coping mechanisms. Some were healthier than others. But one thing I’ve come to realize is how important it is to choose tools that truly serve my healing, rather than seeking temporary relief that only deepens the struggle. Healing doesn't come from avoiding or numbing the pain. It comes from facing it head-on, with the right support, therapy, and tools to manage it.

It's not easy, but each time I make the choice to prioritize my mental and emotional health, I feel a bit stronger. Real healing takes time, and it requires confronting the things that scare us most—whether that’s a difficult memory, a painful emotion, or the vulnerability of asking for help.

Patience and Persistence in the Healing Process

I know that healing doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow, often frustrating process, and there will be days when I feel like I’m not making any progress at all. But the key, I’m learning, is persistence. It’s about continuing to show up for yourself, even when your body is screaming at you to run. It’s about sticking with the therapy, sticking with the medication, and trusting that, over time, the hard work will pay off.

I know I’m not there yet, and I won’t expect instant results. But I do believe that if I keep working with my support system—my therapist, my loved ones, and myself—I can get there. Every day is a step forward, no matter how small it may seem.

Why We Need to Keep Trying

When I first began this journey, I didn’t think I had it in me to keep going. There were times when the weight of my trauma felt too heavy, and I didn’t know if I could bear it any longer. But with each day that I continue this work, I am reminded that my story is not over. I am not defined by my trauma, nor am I bound by my struggles. Healing is possible, even when it feels like an uphill battle.

For anyone out there who is struggling, who feels like they’re on the brink of giving up—please know this: you are not alone. You don’t have to have all the answers today. You don’t have to be perfect. What matters is that you keep trying. Keep moving forward, even if it’s just one small step at a time.

And most importantly, be patient with yourself. Healing is not linear. Some days will be harder than others, but each day you continue to try, you are making progress. You are stronger than you realize.

Thank you to those who listen, who support, and who walk alongside me in my healing journey. Your presence matters more than you know.

[freebiblestudyhub]

21 Bible Verses About Supporting Others

The Bible teaches us that we are not meant to live in isolation, but as part of a community. As Christians, one of the most significant ways we can live out our faith is by supporting others. Whether it is providing emotional, physical, or spiritual support, God calls us to love our neighbors and help those in need.

In this article, we will explore 21 Bible verses that emphasize the importance of supporting others. These verses show how we can demonstrate compassion, kindness, and selflessness in our relationships with others, and they challenge us to be a source of encouragement and help. Whether you are offering a listening ear, giving a hand to someone in need, or sharing in someone’s joy or sorrow, these scriptures remind us of the value of lifting each other up.

Let’s look at how the Bible encourages us to support others in various aspects of life.

1. Galatians 6:2

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

This verse is a clear call to Christians to support one another. Life can be heavy, and sometimes the weight of our problems feels unbearable. But God tells us to share that load. Whether it’s emotional, financial, or physical burdens, supporting others in their struggles is part of fulfilling God’s law. By helping others, we live out Christ’s love for us.

2. Romans 12:10

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

This verse highlights the importance of showing love and respect for others. Devotion means giving of yourself, and this verse calls us to place the needs of others above our own. Supporting others is a demonstration of this love and devotion. When we honor others, we show them the love of Christ.

3. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

In times of difficulty, encouragement can make all the difference. God calls us to be sources of strength and support for others, lifting them up with words of hope and encouragement. In our daily interactions, we should aim to build others up, especially when they are feeling weak or discouraged.

4. Proverbs 17:17

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

This verse reminds us that true love and support are constant. Real friendship doesn’t just appear in times of joy, but especially in times of trial and adversity. A friend who loves at all times is a true blessing, and as believers, we should seek to be that kind of friend for others.

5. Hebrews 13:16

“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”

Supporting others often involves sacrifice. Whether it is giving time, resources, or effort, doing good for others pleases God. This verse encourages us to be generous, to share, and to think of the needs of others, not just our own.

6. 1 John 3:17

“If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?”

Supporting others involves meeting both their physical and emotional needs. If we have the means to help and refuse, it challenges the authenticity of our faith. This verse urges us to have compassion for those who are in need, particularly within the body of Christ.

7. Matthew 25:40

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”

Jesus teaches us that serving and supporting others is not just about helping people, but it is about serving Him. When we support those who are marginalized or struggling, we are actually showing love and respect to Jesus Himself.

8. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

This passage shows how God comforts us in our difficult times, and in turn, we are called to comfort others. Supporting others means sharing the love and comfort that we have received from God, helping them to find peace and healing.

9. Philippians 2:4

“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Supporting others requires us to move beyond self-centeredness. This verse calls us to be mindful of others’ needs and to act selflessly. When we focus on the welfare of others, we demonstrate the love of Christ.

10. Acts 20:35

“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

This verse reminds us that supporting others is a blessing. Giving, whether in terms of time, resources, or energy, often leads to greater spiritual fulfillment. The joy we find in helping others far outweighs any material gain.

11. Romans 15:1-2

“We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up.”

In this passage, Paul challenges those who are spiritually or emotionally strong to bear with those who are struggling. It’s a reminder that we are to support each other, especially when others are weak, helping them grow and stand firm.

12. 1 Peter 4:10

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”

We are all given different gifts, and part of supporting others is using those gifts for the benefit of the community. Whether it’s teaching, helping, encouraging, or leading, God calls us to use our abilities to serve others.

13. Luke 6:38

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

When we support others, whether with our time, resources, or kindness, God promises that He will bless us in return. The principle of generosity is not just about helping others; it’s also about trusting God to provide for our needs.

14. John 15:12

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”

Jesus calls us to love others with the same sacrificial love He showed to us. Supporting others involves demonstrating love that is unconditional, generous, and selfless. We are to love others as Christ loves us.

15. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

This passage teaches us the importance of mutual support. In life, we will face times of difficulty, but we are not meant to go through them alone. Having someone to support us—and being there for others—strengthens us all.

16. 2 Corinthians 9:7

“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

Support is not just about meeting physical needs; it’s also about having a joyful heart. God calls us to give, not out of obligation, but from a place of generosity and willingness. A cheerful heart makes the act of supporting others more meaningful.

17. Colossians 3:13

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Supporting others can also mean forgiving them. This verse encourages us to extend the same grace and forgiveness that God has shown to us. It reminds us that sometimes, supporting others means letting go of bitterness and offering reconciliation.

18. James 2:15-16

“Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?”

This passage emphasizes that true faith leads to action. Saying the right words is not enough; our actions must match our words. Supporting others involves meeting both their physical and spiritual needs.

19. Matthew 18:20

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

This verse reminds us of the power of community. When we gather in Jesus’ name, He is present among us. Supporting others often involves coming together in unity to pray, encourage, and lift each other up.

20. 1 Corinthians 12:25-26

“So that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”

As members of the body of Christ, we are called to support each other in both good times and bad. If one member suffers, we all suffer. Likewise, if one is honored, we all rejoice. We are interconnected, and our support for each other strengthens the whole body.

21. 2 Thessalonians 3:13

“As for you, brothers and sisters, never tire of doing what is good.”

This verse encourages us to persist in supporting others. Sometimes, helping others can be exhausting or feel thankless, but God calls us to remain faithful in doing good. Our efforts, no matter how small, are valuable in His sight.

Conclusion

The Bible provides numerous teachings about supporting others, and as Christians, we are called to live out these principles. Whether it is bearing one another’s burdens, offering encouragement, or giving of our time and resources, supporting others is a powerful way to demonstrate God’s love in a broken world. These 21 verses remind us that our lives are meant to be a blessing to others, reflecting the heart of Christ, who came not to be served, but to serve.

Let these scriptures inspire and challenge you to support those around you. In doing so, you fulfill the law of Christ and make a difference in the lives of others, bringing glory to God.

[mrs-india-international-queen]

10 Common Mrs India Beauty Pageant Interview Questions and How to Ace Them

The interview round in Mrs India beauty pageant is one of the most critical parts of the competition. It is a chance for contestants to go beyond appearances and show judges their personality, intelligence, and values. Nailing the interview questions can set you apart from other Mrs India contestants, making preparation key to standing out.

Why Pageant Interview Questions Matter

The interview round allows Mrs India judges to understand who you are on a deeper level. This segment tests your ability to communicate confidently, think quickly, and express your beliefs. By preparing thoughtfully, you will be able to create a lasting, positive impression that reflects the best version of yourself in Mrs India international queen.

10 Common Mrs India Beauty Pageant Interview Questions and Tips to Answer Them

1.Tell us about yourself.

 Tip: Keep it concise. Share unique qualities, interests, accomplishment, and experiences that set you apart. 

 Example Answer: “I am (mention your name, location, and profession). I am passionate about volunteering. In my free time, I love hiking and baking, which keeps me balanced and energized.”

2. Why did you decide to enter Mrs India International Queen pageant?

  Tip: Be genuine about your motivation. Whether it is a personal dream or a cause you believe in, let your enthusiasm shine. 

  Example Answer: “I entered this pageant to advocate for social causes and awareness. I believe this platform will help me reach more people and create a positive impact.”

3. What is your biggest accomplishment?

 Tip: Choose an accomplishment that highlights qualities like resilience, compassion, or growth. 

 Example Answer: “My proudest achievement was organizing a charity run for children’s hospitals, which taught me the power of community and perseverance.”

4. Who is your role model and why? 

 Tip: Select someone whose values align with  integrity and empathy. 

 Example Answer: “My mother is my role model because she has shown me the power of compassion, resilience, and hard work. She has always put others before herself and taught me to face challenges with grace and determination.”

5. How do you handle criticism?

  Tip: Emphasize maturity by showing how constructive feedback helps you improve. 

  Example Answer: “I welcome criticism as a tool for growth. Feedback from mentors has made me stronger and more adaptable”.

6. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

  Tip: Speak about a cause close to your heart, showing awareness and passion. 

  Example Answer: “I would focus on improving access to clean water worldwide. Water is essential, and everyone deserves safe and reliable access to it.

7. How would you use your title to make a difference? 

   Tip: Be specific about how you would leverage your platform for good. 

   Example Answer: “If crowned, I would start a campaign promoting education in schools, every deserve the right to education”.

8. What is the biggest challenge facing young people today?

   Tip: Show empathy by addressing a relevant issue, like mental health or social pressures. 

   Example Answer: “The biggest challenge today is managing the mental health effects of social media. The pressure to ‘measure up’ online can impact self-esteem and well-being”.

9. How do you define success?

   Tip: Personalize this answer, highlighting values like kindness, growth, or positive mindset. 

   Example Answer: “To me, success means making a positive difference in others’ lives. If I can help just one person feel better about themselves, I feel successful”.

10.Anything you want change in yourself? 

    Tip: Discuss the inner qualities that build confidence, like self-acceptance and resilience. 

    Example Answer: “Confidence is knowing your worth and embracing challenges. It is about trusting yourself and not being afraid to try, even when it is difficult”.

Key Tips for Answering Mrs India beauty Pageant Interview Questions

- Be Genuine: Avoid overly rehearsed answers. Misses India Judges appreciate authenticity and sincerity.

- Stay Calm: Breathe deeply and stay concentrated. Practicing mindfulness helps reduce nerves.

- Show Personality: Let your unique qualities shine. Judges want to see the real you.

- Be Concise: Keep answers clear and to the point to avoid rambling.

 Bonus Tips – The Importance of Body Language and Eye Contact in Mrs India

- Body Language: Sit or stand with good posture, smile warmly, and keep gestures open.

- Eye Contact: Maintaining steady eye contact shows confidence and sincerity.

- Smile: A genuine smile makes you appear approachable, friendly, and comfortable.

Conclusion

The Questions and answer round in Mrs India is a special opportunity to reveal your personality, share your values, and connect with the judges. By practising these common questions and focusing on authenticity, you can make a lasting impression and take one step closer to the crown. Remember, confidence and staying true to yourself are the ultimate tools for a successful interview in Mrs India international queen

[for-the-one-i-dont-speak-to]

I never understood this feeling until now. The possibility of loving someone so deeply yet disliking them as time goes on. Is it outgrowing? Is it incompatibility? The answer seems clear but I can't think of the answer I'm searching for. Many years have passed in this friendship and we've lost contact and rekindled during this time. Shared many secrets, thoughts, intrusive thoughts, hopes, desires, dreams, negative thoughts and more. I am ever thankful for you being in my life. But as we grow older I am beginning to realize that I'm building some sort of resentment or disappointment towards you, and I can't pin what word it is because it's not hatred. I wonder if you feel the same because we simply are two different people and growing into two different people as any normal person would. There's this level of uncertainty I feel when I think of us, what our friendship means, what have we learned, what have we taught, what we have been through together. It's not all for nothing. I absolutely love and adore the person you are, you are something not of this world, an angel you could put it but not exactly either. You have a passion that nobody else has, you are delicate and detailed in the work you do, you have a strong sense of self or of who you want to be, you are careful in analyzing people and situations, you are brave and courageous for the ones you love, you are an extremely admirable person. I could go on about the things I see in you. As we've gotten older I'm also seeing the things I dislike and that's what bothers me. Maybe you could say the same, however this is about my thoughts. As much as I love your passion and fire, I dislike how inconsiderate you can be towards others. The passion you feel burns so loud and bright that it doesn't matter who is in the room, everyone will feel your burn. It doesn't matter who is in front of you if you are angry, you are angry. Without a thought of who you want to hurt. I understand that you are also just a hurt person who's lived a hurtful life but where is the compassion? Especially for those who love you dearly? You have this self drive for yourself and who you want to be which everyone should be or at least try to have, but sometimes I view it as you only caring about yourself, being selfish. Which is ironic because I can name almost every person in your life you've called selfish. People have to be selfish to an extent because everyone is living in their world and needs to navigate it their own way. Selfishness is that thing you need to have in moderation. Not too much and not too little. I don't know if you are a selfish person but it feels like you are sometimes. You can be very analytical about yourself and I believe that's where the selfish part maybe stems from, you are just always worried about yourself. I think that the critical and detailed part of you is also what can make your self-esteem plummet in some ways. Not to mention your anxiety. If someone were to ask me or even if you were to ask me, "what have I done to you? For you to feel this way?" I would not be able to tell you. These feelings have just accumulated over time from small situations, small actions, small changes in body language, noticing slight changes in your tone or behavior, good or bad. I wonder if I should even feel this way because if anyone has done you wrong, it's everyone in your life including me. I have not been the greatest friend to you at some points and I honestly don't have an answer as to why. All I know is that I strive to be the perfect friend for you even if my efforts don't seem that way, that is the picture in my head, your best friend.

I have this theory about people that I can use us as an example, and it's quite interesting because I derived this theory from the show Peaky Blinders. The main character is described as a bad man who does good things. He's a man who murders and steals from other people, but then builds schools and orphanages and donates massive amounts of money to the community. What is the moral behind that? Is that even morally sound? Most people would absolutely say no, at heart he is just a bad man who tries to make up for it in his conscience by overcompensating to the community he has taken from. So what of his efforts? Are they for nothing? I strongly believe in yin & yang, that in every good there is bad, and in every bad there is good.

Now to use us as the example, I believe I am a bad person who does good things, and you are a good person who does bad things. I have done things that are not morally ethical, from the way I've treated my parents (deserved or not), to my dating history, to the way I've treated my friends including you. I can also say I've done a great deal for the people in my life; that I've tried my hardest and had to do it all by myself since high school given my childhood history. At the base of who I am, I don't think I'm a good person given my actions and also given my trauma I believe that's why I am the way I am. And I'm trying so desperately to get this bad conscience out of me by doing what I do now which is being the best I can for you and those around me. But does that change the base of who I am? I don't know. For you I strongly believe the reason people dislike or like you too much when they meet you is because you are a good person at heart and that is the base of who you are, and people can see this; it either scares them or rubs them off wrong or they are very drawn towards it. However I do believe you have done bad things (deserved or not) especially to the ones you love. The abuse you've inflicted on your partner, how unsympathetic you are towards your family, your anger and the hateful words you say or cannot control when you are enraged. You don't do anything to me to tip over the iceberg, but watching you do it consistently to others, is disheartening. You talk about fairness but I don't feel any fairness from you at all. Fairness is seeing all sides and understanding why each side has a different perspective. I think you only care about your perspective and don't even give a second thought to another's perspective. You can say you do but I don't think you truly do because if you did, you would be more considerate towards others in your anger. I think you know your morals and principles and are very adamant about what you believe is right and wrong, and I think this can cloud your judgement. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you stand for, but it can cause a blockage towards others opinions who want nothing but for you to hear them out. You know you are a good person at heart and I think that's what makes you think you are better than others. But this can cause you to think that everything you do, bad or good, is righteous because you know what you stand for. The one thing I can say I hate is your use of the word 'righteous'. You've called almost everyone in your life self righteous in any argument or disagreement. I don't know if you know the definition of it but I know you use it to tell someone that all they think about is being right. Being self righteous is thinking you are right all the time but it also means that you think your morals and principles are better than others. In any case, that means everyone in this world is self righteous because everyone has their own beliefs and principles that they live and stand by. I absolutely hate when you say it or call me that because it's not what I am. I don't think I'm better than anyone nor do I think I'm right all the time. I do believe my perspective is valid because that is how I see things and the same could be said for you or anyone else. But I don't think my morals or principles are better than anyone else's.

The last thing I dislike that I've seen is how unfair you are to me versus your family. And I actually don't even know if I should dislike this because it's your family. You expect more out of me which is understandable because I understand you more than anyone else; but it's like I have absolutely no room for mistakes or disagreements. How can you be so unfair? I let you counterpoint my opinions all the time but when I do it it's like I'm not your friend anymore. And more recently you had an issue with my partner because he is a smart mouth that nobody wants to hear but because he's my partner you don't want anything to do with him. When you've been treated worse by your own partner's family and others. There are so many examples and the biggest one is your grandma's husband James. He did something absolutely unforgivable and horrible, and sure you've moved past it and let it go and no longer let it bother you, but you still are ok with being around him. Like I said, I have no room for mistakes or disagreements. This is probably something I should bring up to you but I just don't have the energy. No energy to see if you will understand, no energy to see you disagree or argue with.

I have hope our friendship lasts forever but there things that are going unsaid and I don't know how it will affect us.

07/2024

[dollmother]

she called me a bop once. i was shocked but didn’t protest. maybe i just craved admiration so badly all my life i went after every chance i had to obtain it. even if it meant lying, reciprocating so that they gave me more and more. even if i didn’t genuinely feel the same, i kept up a disguise and remained an idea to all of them. i didn’t understand what love was, so it was all i wanted to feel.

and when all of them showed me, i threw it away. still not knowing what it meant.

experiencing a foreign concept all my life and still unable to grasp its meaning. perhaps it was a lack of emotional empathy. i just did not get..why? i tried to learn from others by using them. that was never my intention, yet all that i did felt like breathing. then you hear something say, “you’re now manually breathing”, and realize:

these are what consequences are to someone who intellectualizes their emotions instead of feeling them all the time. i would not see the blood on my hands until i touched my face with them.

remorse comes and goes for me only when i force myself to feel it. because i should. it is my shield to deflect claims that i’m utterly heartless. but more importantly a cage that will keep me from using others for admiration and hurting them in the process. though it never really works for long. certain things like profound jealousy trigger me and i lose all the will i had to suppress my maladaptive tendencies back. i forget who i really am in the moment and become my true self. i regress to being the very thing i hate so much then ruin every good thing my restrained self worked to build. i sabotage every single close relationship eventually. i know how to stop, just not how to keep it up for longer than a fleeting moment.

i wonder if it’s really possible to change who you are. or who you have internalized yourself to be. everyone had already laid out this brick road for me. they could sense who i am and that unsettled them greatly. those with a good heart and kind eyes mistook me for who i truly was. i took that faith with my bare, bloodied hands and tore it to shreds in a fit of wrath, the grotesque reward for their compassion.

it feels much too good to stop, yet i must for the sake of others and myself. my brain, wired to yearn and crave, my body programmed to desire the sensation… i am intoxicated to the euphoria of attention. my well has always been empty. it was never built correctly so each time the hole was filled with water—

it would leak into the ground, dissipate into nothing and leaving me patched and begging. nothing ever feels enough. no one could keep me from feeling empty because there was something fundamentally wrong with me that i had to fix.

i live my life in shackled restraint, clinging to the belief that i’m immutable. i wish i could remain that way constantly. instead of breaking the chains every now and then in a flailing tantrum. i repress my anger too often. never knowing how to release the excess softly. in this cycle i harbor rage and wound myself and then my ire grows until i can’t bottle it anymore. then i harm others and then myself in ways i thought would soften the blow. i am an emotionally violent person though i tell myself i should be lucky that violence is reactive and self inflicted. that inner rage is no fault but my own and i don’t know how to stop it.

my once-therapist is too agreeable with me. i guess that’s what happens when i hide parts of myself i should’ve shared. though not even half the things i’ll say would land me a spot in a facility somewhere. and maybe it worked, because i was fine when i had someone to talk to with no reservations. but maybe i really wasn’t. my ego would not allow me to be so vulnerable with someone who wasn’t my even my friend, who did not know me, who could possibly never understand who i am. that was it, i believed i could fix myself in arrogance. i had known everything there was to my problems- yet my body fails each time to execute the vision. i could carve myself into another form, i want to. no tool could ever cut me the way discipline does.

there is a friend in my head that tells me to do reprehensible things time to time. he barges in suddenly and frustrates me greatly with his rancor. i say this not able to admit we might be the same person. or rather he is the culmination of all the darkness i’ve internalized throughout my childhood. i would take these thoughts to the grave, because i don’t think anyone would see me the same or have any kind of sympathy. they are just compulsions that don’t reflect my nature, though they stem from my darkest fears of who i could become if i don’t stop myself. i am afraid to succumb to this heartless, depraved, insatiable nature latent in my core. i look at myself in disgust and shame at the possibility if i listened. there is so much deviant violence that i spurn and spurn and try desperately to banish but it won’t go away! i am mentally unwell, and i need something that will make me catatonic.

i hate him, the unwelcome guest in this fragile home. i pocket a deep rooted hatred for my biology. this vessel hides an innate malice i cannot seem to rid myself of. then again, maybe this is who i really am and i’ve tried to futility to ignore this shadow. my thoughts are tangled in a perpetual struggle. where i, sylvie, wrest for control over this unnamed parasite dwelling in the annals of my mind. when i lose for a moment, ties sever and bridges burn. i am speaking metaphorically if no one could tell. it’s easier to blame my twisted nature on some hypothetical ego nesting within myself. some way to alleviate myself for just the slim chance that i am not too far gone. not being myself would cure me.

i am still myself in all the good ways.

i hate myself less in many ways, though that loathing lingers like the old fragments of me.

i should think less about things i could do and more of what i cannot. i forget, always forget and drive myself on selfish motives. and i cope with the feeling that nothing ever matters. nothing matters at all so i could do whatever the hell i wanted to and not feel guilty. that is the most terrible ideal to have. deep down i crave to be in a world where i am truly free to do anything i want; purely acting on selfish interests. that is the worst possible thing to crave so badly. to be free from remorse, fear, the obligation to restrain the ugly parts of yourself.

what am i without my impulses? they betray me constantly. could i learn to relinquish that? oh it makes everything so much more difficult. learning discipline would fix me. like putting a muzzle on a rabid, injured dog.

i remember when i still had potential as a child. i could’ve been a great writer by the age of 28 had i acted on that impulse. yet, here i am now only 24, feeling the bridge in front of me slowly collapsing under my own weight. each step feels heavy; i’ve lost my grace in the swirl of despair at my limitations. the ropes suspend me in the air, feet grounded on the rotting wood. i dangle in standstill fear to take the next step. i always feared of becoming my mother. the one solace that kept me sane was that i was better than her when it came to awareness. i was a better person because i knew who i was and how to stop destroying everything in my way. yet the more i think about how my life is going,

i have come to realize i am standing exactly where my mother did when she was younger. i loathed myself pitifully for being just like her—-

and i believed somehow i could avert it. maybe it’s not too late to still try.

and i have tried and tried yet i still keep doing it. why do i keep repeating my own mistakes like i’ve lost control of my mind and functions of my flesh? the compulsions overcome me and i forget how to restrain myself.

[alyjojo]

Advice to Work on Yourself 🙈 in September 2023: Cancer

Judgement - 5 Swords - The Moon

Regarding: Queen of Pentacles

Your reading is a mixture of coming for you, and complementing you. Combined with self-sabotage. That dynamic could be something you do with others, 5 Swords here shows snide behavior, building others up and then snidely commenting a dig or two, so that they aren’t sure what you’re actually about when it comes to them. Do you like them or hate them? 8 Swords is both self-sabotage and “pretending” to be blind to situations that are the way they are because you’ve made them that way. 10 Swords. To someone else. 3 Wands is waiting for something to show up that never does, perhaps a disaster for someone else? If you were hoping or planning for that, it’s probably coming back on you karmically, Camel shows a desert period where you feel many challenges. I’m getting they’re deserved, but also Learn Self Compassion is here so that you can forgive yourself. Recognize it, release it, let it go, Spirit wants you to recognize it, so this all can change for you, and then they also want you to know you’re still supported and loved 💙

Because we’re all human. You don’t like the literal Judgement you’ve received based on the 5 Swords actions you’ve taken or words you’ve said, it’s a Tower for you too. 5 Swords is an energy of acting “smarter” than someone else, trying to knock them down a peg, kill or be killed, not caring who gets hurt as long as you are right or feel victorious. Well…that’s led at least one person, could be more with 3 Cups, to believe you’re jealous, snotty, arrogant, etc. Queen of Wands rev is a difficult person, she’s insecure and jealous of her friends/others, and their victories.

You do realize this, you just pretend you don’t because…you’re gonna have to pay for it right? You will be judged back, and have been. Take accountability. Change it yourself. The Moon is what you actually don’t see. 2 Cups is genuine reciprocated love, and it’s connected to 10 Cups, it’s possible it’s romantic but I get more that it’s everyone, it’s deeper connection from all directions. Friends, family, old schoolmates or neighbors, anyone, you’re blind to how much people really care about you. 9 Wands rev is giving up right before the ending - which is 10 Cups & that’s amazing, it’s an “ending” that makes your heart feel full, everyone is together and supporting each other. But there’s too much pain, hurt, this sort of sabotaging behavior, people are like absolutely not, and The High Priestess rev is showing you *know* this but you don’t listen to your own self & Spirit when they tell you about it, intuitively. Because you are a very intuitive sign. Or you could be jumping to conclusions that people are out to hurt you, when they actually love you, or whatever it is isn’t even about you - The Moon. “There‘s more than one way to read a map.” In some cases, this may be a trauma response of sorts that is completely unrelated - but showing itself in this way. It could also be learned behavior needing to be unlearned. Queen of Pentacles is Capricorn energy, the opposite of you. Not that you can’t be all of these things, you clearly are, but you’re not the most comfortable in this energy, and you could also be projecting your shadow onto others, as opposites usually play out, especially the risings (7th House Cap).

The advice: Glow up for real. Not for fake, or to prove a point, or put others down. Alighiero says “Know who you aren’t” which is the most telling advice here. Become Foolproof is learning about your own behavior and how to deal with it, learn about it, thousands of others have gone through or have done the same thing. Every sign has dark sides, every person has demons, we all can be selfish, rotten or mean shits sometimes. Have Self Compassion ❤️ And then do better, just because you want to do better. You’re not happy for others because you’re not happy. Your happiness is your decision. What would make you happy? How about HELP? Queen of Pentacles is showing your current energy, and she’s the type to handle everything on her own, without help, many hands stirring many pots and the pressure is always on her, all of it is on her. She can handle it. I see a lot of people here who would love to help, but you alienate them out of your own insecurity. The real question is WHY are you insecure? You’re doing it all on your own! That’s something to be proud of, and celebrate in a way, see your success as success and not put that down or undermine your own intense efforts because they don’t look like what other people have or do 🙏

Animal Oracle: You have two

Rattlesnake 🐍

“The experiences that you’re presently going through are an initiation into fulfilling your purpose as a healer.”

The foundation for compassion is an awareness that suffering is a natural part of life, whether through the empathetic appreciation of another being’s pain or the experiences of having suffered oneself. And which beings haven’t at times felt the pain and sorrow that is an aspect of living? The deeper you go into the soul of another, the more you can feel what they feel, yet paradoxically maintain a certain distance or objectivity. A true Healer must heal from the heart, no matter what technological, logistical, physical, or shamanic tools they use. The experiences that you’re going through now or have just completed are all a preparation for you to open your heart to the suffering around you and do your part in alleviating it. You’ll find that you’re increasingly being asked to offer your time and energy to help heal others - including not only people, but also animals, plant beings, and the Earth. Some of this healing power will also go to mend the rifts that exist between ethnicities & cultures.

You’ll notice more and more how often your hands will spontaneously feel energized, experiencing it as heat or a tingling sensation. This is the Power of Spirit working through you. Allow it to guide you in whatever the focus of your healing is, whether simply placing a hand on the shoulder of a friend, or more extensively and directly involving yourself in another being’s health.

Camel 🐪

“Trust that you have the resources to get through the challenges before you.”

Sometimes it feels like you’re journeying across a vast, lifeless desert that stretches behind the horizon with no end in sight. Journeying across this seemingly barren landscape before you, your thirst for comfort and solace during these times can most readily be satisfied by looking to your inner resources. All the experiences you’ve had in your lifetime, the challenges you’ve successfully faced, and the wealth of knowledge you’ve accumulated can be called on not only to cope with any type of adversity that presents itself, but to help you move forward with courage and determination. First, identify where you want to go and then proceed slowly, steadily, and deliberately toward that objective. As you move along, cast away your fears, doubts, and hesitations whenever they arise, letting the four winds lift them up to the sun to be burned away. Ease your mind and heart, and know that all is well and you’re protected at all times. Call upon your helping spirits who have assisted you up through this point in your journey. You have what it takes, you will get through this!

Artist Oracle: ALIGHIERO BOETTI

- Know who you aren’t.

- Find clarity in clutter.

- There’s more than one way to read a map.

Advice:

- Learn Self Compassion

- Become Foolproof

Charms:

Treble Clef 🎼 rev on Rattlesnake could have something to do with music, but upside down it looks like a question mark ❓ which is solely for you to figure out what that means. There’s a reason you’re learning the things you’re learning right now, because once you learn it, and heal it, you can help others do the same.

Crown 👑 on Queen of Pentacles is YOU being a disciplined, hardworking, practical, stable, financially secure and effortlessly resourceful Queen. Other people have other lessons and many people couldn’t do what you do, or go through what you’ve gone though. This charm gives you all of your flowers 💐 and is telling you to be authentic in the way you shine for other people, because you deserve to.

Witch 🧙🏽‍♀️ on 10 Swords is dual sided in its meaning. The first is that this is a painful situation of your own creation, this Witch is stirring a cauldron for possibly destructive purposes, and the things you’ve been feeding your “cauldron” have not been positive. The second is for those who actually delve into spell work and such, I’m personally not a fan but do you. If these things are done, they have to be done correctly, with protection/cleansing regularly, and intentions meant for your/someone else’s highest good. Financial abundance, love, good fortune, health, sure. Negative things come right back x3, idk why anyone tries it, but some people yanno 🤪 You never know how your manifestations will present themselves to you, and evil eyes or negative bs alwaysss comes back to bite ya.

Feather 🪶 on Alighiero is a symbol of divine guidance, angels, guides, your spirit tribe, those that are with you. This can be relating to freedom as well, there are a few planes on this card indicating travel. Could be something you want to do.

Red Flag 🚩 on Queen of Wands rev are what others see in you that alarms them. Behaviors of arrogance, bossy, extremely jealous, insecure, angry or even explosive, snide, “a mean girl”. Because of Queen of Pentacles, and this card following Ace of Pentacles, I’m going to guess this is largely over money. A Queen all about marble countertops, a whole shoe closet built by Gucci and a pool. At least how I’m getting it here, that could be the dream. Queen of Pentacles can make life work for her by reupholstering an old couch and putting fancy spins on ramen noodles though. Your definition of success needs to be redefined, and being the “wrong” Queen to match your own, it could be that social media, other people, the world as a whole are having a bad impression on you. I mean who doesn’t feel like that sometimes? But these are red flags in you to watch out for, some others have already seen it, and they’re just hoping you “get it eventually” because you’ve actually got a lot of love here from your people.

Arrow ⬆️ on 9 Wands rev is the heart of the matter, an arrow straight to the heart causes pain, except the arrow is behavior, words, actions to and possibly from people you love and who also love you. This needs to be given up on, or eventually you’ll lose people you care about, or you’re the one giving up on them, over illusions and fear-based Moon energy.

Love Letter 💌 on The High Priestess rev is love and messages from Spirit, to you, that you refuse to listen to or pay any mind. Some of these triggering things may be messages or hints from the divine that you need to look at more closely, like this same message I’m writing has been sent before in other ways and you left Spirit on “read”. You could also be doing the same things with friends or family, and this is saying to be honest with them so they can explain things that have hurt or bothered you. Probably hold you to some things too. I get all love from your people, and you should be showing them love too.

[nusrattalks]

Untitled Shit from 28 Feb, ‘23; 1:12pm

Why is it so hard for us to show up with compassion and grace for ourselves?  Is the difficulty we feel in showing up as such a reflection as to why we struggle to show up the same way for others? 

What about those who so effortlessly show up with love and grace for others but struggle when it comes to themselves? 

What is even the point I’m trying to make? Who knows. I don’t. 

Who decided 31 is ‘too old’ to be finding and/or pursuing my calling? And if noone decided it, how did it get to my head? Ok fuck that last question because I can at any given time list atleast 20 ways that programming got into my subconscious. 

But however it happened, it happened. 

And so here I am at 31: clueless and despondent on most days recently. Trying to figure out what the fuck to do with the law degree I have, how to build from the ground up in a brand new country with my husband, how to keep helping my parents grow the family business, while wondering why the fuck I didn’t fight hard enough to pursue what my heart wanted to since I learnt how to speak the heart’s language. 

And most importantly, even now being in the position of knowing better and thus able to do better, where does this hesitation to speak MY truth and MY mind come from/continue?

Why does my voice shake and my inner child get scared shitless sometimes? 

What’s stopping me from telling ANYONE and EVERYONE who tries to push the notion of ‘law should be your only concern’ to BACK OFF and LEAVE ME ALONE? 

What’s stopping me from making obligatory calls and visits to certain individuals, out of a sense of ‘Nusrat the good girl is expected to do so and so she must?’

What holds me back from typing the exact words I want and causes me to edit and sugar coat so as not to hurt feelings? 

Why do I find myself so often wishing I’d made my discomfort clear and didn’t stand by ALLOWING someone to make me feel like shit, by violating my boundaries and MY truth? 

Why do I refrain from wearing certain clothes when in Dhaka? 

Why do I stay in uncomfortable situations even when my body and soul and mind is screaming at me to get the fuck out? 

WHAT THE FUCK is keeping me from taking Nusrattalks on facebook? What are the fears driving that indecision?

The answer is so clear: people pleasing tendencies. 

It’s something I had as a kid. And then growing up, it showed up as co-dependency in the relationships I had. 

Something I worked so hard to get rid of, especially after the end of my last relationship before my husband. 

And somehow, I fell back into it. Right after I got married. 

The meshing of two worlds, the introduction to new relations and dynamics mirrored to me where I needed to put in more work to ensure my self-love was the strong foundation my life kept building on. 

But I slipped. And that’s what happens when we throw discipline and routines and rituals out the window. 

Suddenly, the priority was making sure the new boat I found myself on doesn’t rock. It seemed harmless. What’s missing a few days of routine that ensured I cultivated a practice of staying true to my authentic self? 

Throw in the toxic, patriarchal AF south-asian culture we live in, where everyone is very well conditioned to help women forget their identities. 

And just like that, I was back on not being on my own priority list. 

Fuck anyone who downplays the need for discipline and routine in our daily lives. Seriously. Tell them to fuck off. 

Building a strong foundation of self- love, self-confidence, and self- respect doesn’t just birth or sustain itself; especially when so many of us are conditioned to believing since birth that self-love is selfish and people-pleasing is selfless.

It requires strong discipline and routine. On the daily. 

Otherwise, you might find yourself sitting at a cafe, at 1pm on weekday, writing about where the fuck you lost the plot. 

Good news? As a conscious creator, I KNOW everyone and everything is simply mirroring me back. 

It’s all showing me where I need to put in work. 

I don’t know for sure but maybe all the shit show I have been rambling on about is an indication to prioritise myself now above everyone and everything else; to start rebuilding my foundations of self-love with discipline and integrity; to say NO when I want to say NO and YES when I want to say YES. 

There is so much resentment inside me. Followed by guilt and shame for having resentment. Followed by more fucking guilt for the guilt. And it goes on and on. 

To the point where I hardly am opening up space for love and joy and peace and happiness.

Like, picture a room full of the most unnecessary clutter but its the only room you have to sleep in and you need a fucking bed and you have the money for the fucking bed but you’re driving yourself NUTS about how to get the bed in when the answer is simple: get the clutter out. 

But you’re not taking the steps to get the clutter out. Because as far as you’re concerned, you don’t see any way of getting the bed in.

Does that make sense? I don’t care if it doesn’t. Just saying. 

I watch my husband and sisters and friends earn such great money and have the luxury of spoiling their loved ones. I look at them and wonder if I’ll ever get there. If i’ll ever get to say ‘hey i’m taking you all on an all expenses paid trip, my treat!’ to those i love. 

Actually, I know theres every chance I’ll get there. But right now, this is a pity party, from me, to me, for me. 

I don’t even know if someone will ever read this. 

But if you do, firstly, thank you for making it to this far.

Secondly, I’m sure there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Just not right now. And that’s ok I guess.