#to the point that its kind of ironic
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while i was always a fan of the Alchemicals from Exalted’s very first edition, i think the thing that made me absolutely OBSESSED with them was a particular comic in their source book in the second edition, and I would argue it’s also an EXCELLENT example of an establishing character moment.
This, to be clear, is a big moment where a character does something or experiences something that very strongly makes an impression that tells you the most important things to know about them; it is one of the most effective tools in writing, and while you can do a lot of stuff to further define the character, this is a great way to fully solidify that character for an audience, and for me, its one of the early comics before a particular chapter.
In this comic, we see a group of Autochthonian children who have fallen afoul of a disaster, the walls caved in and everyone is horribly hurt. One of them wakes up and gets the attention of our focus character, an Autochthonian boy who is impaled on a pipe or rebar. He complains that she woke him up when he was almost passed out, and cynically remarks that they’re all going to die down there anyway so they might as well just let themselves pass out so it doesn’t hurt too much.
The same girl that called out to him (who is pinned and can’t get free) says not to lose hope; the Great Maker will save them. The boy gloomily replies that the Great Maker is in worse shape than they; what can he do? This in turn also sets up the point that Great Maker is very, very ill, the disease that defines him having grown out of control and consuming him like the transcendant cancer it is. These dying children dwell upon a world that is their god, and he is even more sickly and close to death than they are?
What can the Great Maker do?
And at this point, there’s a slamming sound on the walls.
they ask what that noise is, and the boy impaled to the floor remarks it’s probably just another cave-in; who cares?
Another crashing bang, and the caved in wall is torn away, revealing the gargantuan form of an Alchemical Exalted, the Champion heroes of Autochthonia. It is specifically Stern Whip of Industry, the iconic Jade Alchemical Exalt, a hero of the people, tirelessly working the hardest jobs and doing any task no matter how menial or difficult; he stands an enormous stature, a towering colossus tearing the wall down and rescuing them all with Charm-enhanced arms
The Great Maker may lie in sleep, slowly fading away and succumbing to his sickness. The Great Maker might be sicker and closer to death than even the most injured human, but the Champions he gave the power to create, to protect the people of Autochthonia and safeguard their civilizations, are still there, tirelessly being the heroes they were built to be.
So speaks Stern Whip of Industry: “TAKE HEART. HELP IS COME.”
the boy’s cynicism completely drops into genuine surprise and relief, and so ends the comic, and we get one HELL of an establishing moment for the Alchemical Exalted as a whole, even if we technically got a more extended one for Whip himself in the comic that opens up the book about a couple chapters previously.
#exalted#alchemical exalted#stern whip of industry#don't let the name fool you he is very nice#to the point that its kind of ironic
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Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.
Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):
In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.
It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]
The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]
Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]
In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]
In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]
Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.
#the murderbot diaries#murderbot#𓄿#hi i'm READY to write a thesis about murderbot i am having way too much fun with this#i created a pretty excel spreadsheet and everything#i don't know why i did this but now i can look at them while i think about this more! so i figured i'd share them haha#i didn't count uses of 'friendly' but special shoutout to when MB is all alone in its cold cubicle missing 20% of its body mass#and starts putting on a show because 'the friendly noise would keep it company' 😭😭#i feel sick thinking about murderbot all alone on its own not knowing what its like to have friends watching media for 'the friendly noise'#also YES okay i wanted to make a point about miki there but i just#couldn't bring myself to talk about that more so... yeah#also uhhh this data is very subjective#i didn't count particularly ironic uses of 'friend' and generally did not count every instance of friend and sometimes it was a hard call#also i probably shouldn't have counted the times murderbot refered to drones or secsystems as its friends (often after hacking them)#but murderbot does seem to care about them and shows kindness and respect and sometimes points out that a system is friendly#so while i don't think MB means “friend” in the same way referring to them as when it refers to ART for instance#i still think its CUTE and also kinda funny how many times that happened so i decided to keep those!!!#but yeah take my data with a grain of salt lol
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I need to talk about Julian's whole thing with Sloan in Extreme Measures cause it does actually make me feel a certain kind of rabid
Extreme Measures is a great episode for the Julian/Miles dynamic and has a lot of great moments with them but I think an underrated element of the episode is how it very plainly shows just how much the Dominion War has changed Julian, and how his morals have shifted into a much greyer area
Julian in this episode is very callous towards Sloan even as he's literally dying. he has no issues violating Sloan's mind, and when Sloan dies, the only reason he actually cares is because the answers and secrets Sloan has will die with him. truly cannot emphasize enough just how deeply Julian fucking hates Sloan, and sheer hatred isnt something we really see all that much from Julian, especially not to the degree he was with Sloan
even with that, though, Julian has never been like that with another patient. Julian doesnt let his personal feelings get in the way of being a doctor, and always treats his patients with the utmost care and his best work. Julian was willing to find a cure for the Jem'Hadar's addiction, simply because they asked for help, even if it meant potentially making them into a much bigger threat than they already were. Julian treated Tain in Camp 371. and, sure, Julian does treat Sloan, but he does so explicitly because Sloan has information they need, not because he has any care for Sloan's life
and I think that- his willingness to violate Sloan's mind to get what they need, and how he didn't particularly care that Sloan died- is a really bleak look at just how much the war has changed Julian and how much it's shifted his moral compass. throughout the war, Julian has been ordered time and time again to compromise his morals. add to that several traumatic events- multiple of which are orchestrated by Sloan- and a slide into deep depression, and it's no wonder he gets to a point where he can do the things he does in this episode
and I dont think it hits him until much later. I think one day, long after the war has ended and theyre still rebuilding everything that was broken, Julian lays awake at night and remembers how bad it got and what he became willing to do, and it makes him sick to his stomach
#star trek: ds9#julian bashir#luther sloan#Luther Sloan's death wasn't painful enough I need to bring him back and kill him again#Julian's hatred for Sloan is so compelling to me#I love when a character who is fundamentally kind and compassionate is driven to consuming hatred and rage#and Sloan does that to Julian in ways I dont think anybody else does#and that hatred is what allows Julian to do what he does#cause when you think about it- violating a dying man's mind- that is. INSANE#and not something you would expect from Julian who has always been so staunch about his morals#the morals he's been asked to compromise. over and over. by the people he looks up to#its so tragically ironic#Sloan wanted Julian to move into greyer areas and he got exactly what he wanted#except in the process it also got him killed#and yeah I think it does haunt Julian later#because Julian is a fundamentally good person#so one day he will have to contend with what he did#what he was willing to do#he's too good of a person to not have to wrestle with this at some point#maybe ill write a fic about it#I think about it often
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new gemini update was so good as always but I can't stop thinking:
big mama: there's nothing wrong with my sons
splinter: you fucked up two perfectly good kids is what you did. look at blue. he's got an eating disorder
wwhhhattttt? nooo, don't be silly. leo doesn't have an eating disorder.
leo and donnie have eating disorders--
#this is a Joke but also No It's Not#it's just different flavors lmao#but both of them have absolutely fucked relationships with food#my poor babies... :(... who did this to you...?#(it was me i did)#leo spends a lot of time worrying about whAT hes eating and how mUCH hes eating and if hes eating the rIGHT thing#largely due to his mom and also just being a celebrity/child celebrity in general#but also in part due to:#donnie has a lot of food sensitivities which have really never been accommodated for at all and as a result he just#has a very negative association with food and eating. he doesnt LIKE eating and he avoids it a majority of the time.#its stressful and unpleasant and he doesnt like it#which ofc only gave leo another reason to hyperfixate on food and calories and nutritional value etc etc etc#which leads to#ironically#leo (who def has an undiagnosed ed and restricts/denies himself food regularly): worrying abt making sure donnie eats enough#donnie will do the same thing back sometimes but not with the same obsessiveness that leo does#esp because the ideals surrounding eating and dieting set up around them really kind of just#lead them both to believe (at least to an extent) that leo is fine and eats a totally healthy and ok amount of food (esp in comparison to d#(no he doesnt)(and even when he does thats not the point)#tw eating disorders#cw eating disorders#eating disorders#tw disorders eating#cw disordered eating#disordered eating#gemini au asks#asks#anon
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am i rlly going to write a death note literary analysis when i could be doing other things
about the discourse going on in the tag abt "death note is acab and thats why the characters couldnt better the world with the note (/written in somewhat jokey matter)" vs "death note is trying to say we all have potential for evil, especially if you get a chance to insta-hurt ppl without repercussions, and it doesnt matter if youre a cop or not", i personally feel like it ignores the things that i like abt death note, which is "both of these things are true", and simultaneously "both of these things do not matter". the first part of this is dedicated to the first point, the latter to the last.
first point. i think its an important part of the message and themes (unintentional or not, and i lean on the former because... come on, can you really say the author intended you to not think of the cops as good people, at least compared to light and l) that light is a cops son, and that almost everyone who gets the death note is cop adjacent/thinks like a cop and is already corrupt/powerful when they get it (mello raised to think hed be just like l, yotsuba group is self explanatory; you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me teru "churchill" mikami, who was hand selected by light out of a bunch of rabid kira supporters, is a normal citizen). i appreciated the cop post bc its rlly important to not gloss over that aspect.
all of this would be an argument for "only someone like them would do something like this, and i am not like them, so im above them and immune to thinking about what id do with it", but... misa is the MOST important outlier in all of this bc her murders are solely selfish in nature and shes not doing any of this for "the greater good"!!! her nature of being an exception and still a very very bad person is really really important...
or it would be if death note gave a shit about her character at all!!! im not talking about her tragic side, im talking about exploring the ramifications of her killing people the way lights murders are (somewhat) explored. that would strengthen the message greatly! but shes dismissed and that weakens it overall. firstly, she's dismissed by the characters when l only sees her as a way to get to kira and basically shelves her the rest of the time. secondly, shes dismissed by the narrative when her character is gradually ground down to a stump and (not to sound perilously close to the bad takes ppl meme about) she never faces repercussions for her actions. every other character using the death note is treated relatively seriously, but misa just dies bc her love is dead. im not saying this isnt a... fitting punishment or that it isnt in character, but it doesnt fit snugly into the theme other people are talking about of "you reap what you sow" at all.
we do have something of an equivalent to misa's grayscale motives. surprise surprise, its light yagami. first is light's characterization in the musical (i will also note that misa never kills anyone in the musical). light's thinking is coplike, yes — he literally starts his first song by talking about "throw[ing] away the key" — but also, oddly enough, could be read as progressive and therefore sympathetic to tumblr ("let the corporations make the regulations / and hold no one accountable when everything gets wrong / let the rich and famous get away with murder / every time a high-priced mouthpiece starts to talk, his client gets to walk"). compare to the anime and manga, where his bigotry and pride and disgust come from a place of lukewarm dissatisfaction and boredom. the musical has much less time to play around with lights character, so it gives the audience something to immediately hook on. more on how that actually plays out later.
in the animanga, none of this is justified from the start. animanga light could say he was just killing people to make humanity way, way worse, and that wouldnt matter, because at the root of it, it was always his boredom that made him pick up the note. of course he actually believes in justice and believes hes doing the right thing (no, he believes he's doing the wrong thing, for the sake of the world... the right thing, because he is god...), but it was boredom at the start. all animanga light says about justice and righteousness and the law is a front in the end, bc he is exactly like l and misa — amoral. selfish. searching for entertainment. hedonistic. we know this. he kills naomi misora*. he kills lind l. turner. everything hes saying deserves to be dismissed from the beginning.
"but doesnt that mean you agree with the discourse post you wrote this post to argue against?" like i said, i agree with both of them! but i... still think its not right to reduce death note to the message of "the power to kill people is bad". because that is not exactly what the story is saying, even though that's literally its whole plot and therefore reaching that conclusion is self explanatory (lmao). let's look at the concept of mu. nothingness. "there's no heaven or hell". The Real Slay The Princess (Death Note Essay) Starts Here.
in light's final moments in the death note manga, while screaming about not wanting to die, he remembers that the first day they met, ryuk told light that "there's no heaven or hell. no matter what they do in life, all people go to the same place. all humans are equal in death". it is retroactively revealed that light knew this the whole time, operated under this knowledge for all the years we watched him — the knowledge that nothing he does is actually bad, that nothing any human does is actually bad, that shinigami are not "evil", that the universe does not care. that no one cares except humans. this oblivion absolutely terrifies him more than anything anyone could ever do to him. its what he thinks of before anything else as he flails there, screaming, dying. one could say everything he does after that day is him trying to escape that fact, or wrest control over it. but it doesnt work.
here are the lyrics of requiem, the musical's final song, sung over the bodies of l and musical light, a light who was at least somewhat good-intentioned at first: "sleep now, here among your choices / then fade away / hear how the world rejoices / shades of gray / gone who was right or wrong / who was weak or strong / nothing left to learn". this is the final message the death note musical and the manga chose to leave us with. there is no judgement. even after all that acknowledged hurt, after all the damage done, there is no judgement.
in the manga and anime alike, the world is just as fucked when light picks up the death note as when he dies. sure, we as readers can guess otherwise logically (and be optimistic, believing the world was never fucked regardless), but that's not what death note wants you to think. it ends with matsuda and another member of the task force noting how the world is worse again even though they killed kira (matsuda is clearly much worse for wear, but still determined), we see the shitty motorcycle band again, it ends with misa and a whole kira cult on a mountain even though kira died a long time ago...
its extremely important that light is never killed by any human or any aspect of the law. he is always killed by ryuk: a chaotic force completely detached from human sensibilities, one that does not care about good and evil. same with l; in the anime, manga, and musical, he is always killed by rems senseless, morally gray love (and you could argue in the kdrama that hes killed by love there too lol). justice is just a set dressing.
this is not just because death note is a tragedy, because good and evil can still matter in a tragedy. the theme of "nothingness" and "good and evil doesnt matter here" is also shown in a situation relatively unrelated to light winning or losing, or being good or bad. and its in fucking lawlight of all things. we all know ls not a good person. we know lights not a good person. this is tip of the iceberg death note knowledge. but the moment they start to interact, none of that starts to matter. textually, their relationship becomes more important than the people theyve killed and hurt. and the thing is? the thing is? THAT WORKS STORY-WISE. THAT'S ENTERTAINING. AND IT'S NEVER TEXTUALLY CALLED OUT IN A LASTING WAY. l and lights relationship, no matter how much i meme it, is genuinely important to the themes and "mu" because it makes it clear that despite all the pretensions, despite everything, this was never about good and evil. and it still works in the story. this is why death note is simultaneously a comedy — isn't the battle of good and evil supposed to matter more? well, fine, i'll keep watching this anyway. that suspension of disbelief comes crashing down the moment l dies, though, and a relationship built on nothingness (the "mu" sort, meaninglessness, not "character development" nothingness, theres plenty of character development) gives way to just nothingness (again, "mu", not light's post-l depression nothingness), forever.
(an aside: there is no one to root for in death note, and the only things to root for are either interesting character relationships, convoluted plots, or complete and total destruction: for everything to end so no more damage is done.)
not to say that death note does not encourage its readers to consider what damage they might do with the death note (obviously.), or that its characters never do. look at matsuda, a much easier heroic figure to latch on to than soichiro because of his unique place in the cast dynamic and because he's willing to consider both sides of the situation and kill light instantly for all he's done. its just that the story's own stance on the subject is... complicated by the existence of shinigami worldviews and by its own insistence that the world cannot change for the better.
also, this is not to say that this is executed well by the death note manga at all. it is a very strong tool, artistically, to establish and then violently remove any emotional connections between characters and make your story only about the exceedingly convoluted lengths characters go to to survive and catch each other so the reader can realize how ultimately pointless all of this is, but like... is that a good story choice if that's all you do? i would say not really. add in a good dollop of misogyny that destroys the second-to-last character who might actually be an interesting contrast to the rest of the cast's dull one-track focus on winning and justice, and youve got yourself a shitty story that... honestly still achieves what it went out to do, just not in a way id ever want to replicate.
anyway, back to the parts death note's actually trying to say. no matter what any human does in their life, no matter how they try to hurt or help the world, they all die in the end. hey, light, they all die in the end. once dead, they can never come back to life. and the seasons turn. and the world rejoices. and you say "goodbye"...
that's all.
no analysis of death notes overarching theme would be complete without nears final monologue, the definitive roast of light, the "you're just a murderer" speech: "what is right from wrong? what is good from evil? nobody can truly distinguish between them. even if there is a god." if we take this as talking about the actual god in the room (ryuk) as well as light, then near admits that humans will never be able to withstand these overwhelming forces and that, using justice and happiness and selfishness, they are just scrabbling to find meaning in things they ultimately have no control over.
but of course, near does not stop there. "[...] even then i'd stop and think for myself. i'd decide for myself whether his teachings are right and wrong." nears alright with not having control over everything, because near can still control nears own actions. these forces can and do exist, but they have no sway over nears own humanity — unlike light, who caved.
one of the creators of death note said they believe its message is "life is short, so everyone should do their best". the first time i learned this, i was like, thats... nice and optimistic, but an awful reading of the story! "life is short, so everyone should be desperate and striving like light yagami", who literally cut off other ppls lives for his own life? what character in death note are we supposed to strive towards when we "do our best"? they all do awful things with their lives! honestly, maybe they shouldnt have tried their best, if this is what their best is!
but with the view of "mu"... it makes a bit more sense. just a little. maybe.
there is no good and evil. there is only what humans think, and no matter what we do, we all die in the end. it is easy to be crushed and terrified by this in the same way light is, but what is more important than justice and righteousness and finding meaning is... doing your best. not being a person that hurts others too much. not letting yourself get swallowed up by an ideal. not going too far. and simultaneously, trusting yourself.
it leaves a few questions, though... was the currently dead l even a little bit right about his blatantly amoral approach, then? was there a point to this pain, and me slogging through this dumbass manga, and all the people that have lost their lives to a selfish teenage cop's son and the whims of everyone chasing after him? was there a point to any of this...?
the manga** never answers this. it stays clinically impartial until the very end. the musical is anything but clinically impartial (and i love it so much for that), and its ryuk that has the last word.
"there's no point at all."
of course theres no point. none of this was ever supposed to happen. that is what matters more than all the hurt and the crimes and the pain.
and that's... actually okay, because it's over now.
yes, death note has many really important themes present in its story, but its viewpoint is nihilism first and foremost. thats why its so fun and easy to play around with all the other messages, because no matter what fun or torment or awful things or righteous justice or absolute nothingness or sentimentality happens in between, there is always an end.
there is always the end.
#*naomi was killed off bc the author thought shed solve the case too quickly. ironic. i dont think it was meant to forward a theme other than#'light evil! oh no!!!' bc it had minimal buildup and absolutely no repercussions. it is just kind of smth that happens#everything in death note is just smth that happens bc. at some point i just have to admit its NOT RLLY WELL WRITTEN#but it says something. it says many things. and i like balancing the two in my head#death note#personal#**>reduces anime ending to a footnote /j#anime ending: light regrets COMING THIS FAR- not his crimes. he sees l as another regret and dies.#another example of the tragic self (and tragic relationship) ultimately being more important than morals#l would be proud of the torment he inflicted on light if he were not fucking dead#i would also bring up the argument that the way every death note character uses the note is so extreme that its hard to compare them#to real people but lets assume that the author was trying to replicate how actual human beings work as much as possible*#you made it deep enough into the tags would you like to hear about near and mello being nonbinary—#'there is an end so why not enjoy the middle? chain yourself to a hot boy eat strawberry shortcake be bisexual and lie'#*either that or they were just explicitly trying to have fun like they said they was doing#light yagami#sure ill tag my boy#'you cant say the curtains are just blue!' well can i say the curtains were shittily made#norrie if you look at this post ever again ill death note you myself
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Thank you for writing the (messy but neccessary) farcille breakdown. You handled it so wonderfully aaaaaaaah!! Like the other anon I was wondering how far "rock bottom" could get (because chapter 4 already felt pretty rock bottom) but. Yeah. That's pretty rock bottom, huh. The tragedy of loving someone but the other person not understanding <- this applies to both of them.
I think it was really neat how you flipped the question on who's reaching out to who with the academy flashback and the final scene with Namari, because... Marcille clinging onto Falin really is just a reversal of their academy days, isn't it? To everyone who met them after they reunited, it was always Marcille chasing after Falin, but to those who were at the magic academy, it was Falin chasing after Marcille. From picking flowers and berries to eat together, inviting Marcille out to see a play, and generally monopolizing her free time... I'm sure any of them would say the same thing as Namari, but in reverse. No wonder everyone thinks Marcille is just another friend to Falin. They weren't there to witness her pining /j. Idk!! I was rereading the chapter and the academy flashback girl was like "why do you hang off of Marcille so much" and I screamed to myself, "hey wait. HEY WAIT."
#asks#a little creature#im SO glad you pointed out how falin was the first to pine and chase but was discouraged#its a very very important part#i think a really common wlw experience is to internalize that first rejection forever#whether it came from the object of your affections or an outside observer#the first time you encounter disgust for what felt like just happiness and affection#it stays with you. it can turn into a cage for the rest of your life but what you dont realize is that#at some point youre strong enough to open the door for yourself and you have to be able to do it#ironically ive only been the perpetrator of this platonically#pushing away my friends and hurting them bc i didnt think that i mattered enough to affect them#romantically ive been mostly on the other end just begging a girl to meet me in the middle at the very least#because even if they feel intensely as i do its not fun to chase and chase and get nothing bc someone else in their past was cruel#so it dhsjjd shows up in my writing a lot#self loathing as a queer experience is almost universal. but are you able to stand up and grow beyond it? because you need to.#staying locked in your own head and never looking outwards is just another kind of selfishness#i dont always try to do it but lmao my writing almost always touches on this at least a little bit in various degrees as like#maybe my best attempt at a compassionate way of portraying this self-erasure as a kind of selfishness that needs to be addressed
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As determined by the poll.
The Iris Analysis. Uncut, since I am not revising this monster word count of an analysis.
Now with A DLC111!1!1!!11!!! (I added new thoughts :p)
[Warning, this post deals with a pretty heavy and uncomfortable topic. If you don't like mentions or implications of SA or Sexual/Romantic Manipulation, heed this warning.]
“Your eyes are so pretty and unique, I don't think I've ever seen anybody with mismatched eyes like that.”
So about Iris…
Character Analysis time !!!1!1+!+1+1
Author's Note: I heavily debated making and posting this analysis because of the topic at hand, but I want to say, this analysis helped me realize how strong of a character Iris is, and can be. The more I think about her, the more she's becoming my favorite.
We are first introduced to Iris in ep 5, "Iris" (fitting)
As Alux is done talking to the Guard and is leaving, he finds Iris being berated by two people.
"What are you doing here, freak? I thought I told you to get lost."
"Sigh, I'm just here to get my stuff for my travels, so back off.”
"Or what? You'll beat us up again? You know how that ended last time."
"Yeah, poor little Oddy ( or Oddie) ended up in jail all night. Not only is she a freak, but a criminal too.”
"Just shove off and leave me alone."
"Or what? You gonna cry?"
Pause
"Or what? You'll beat us up again? You know how that ended last time."
We know Iris is a bit of a fighter as she's defensive, but, Iris beating up people?
What for?
I know we shouldn't take the bullies by their word, but the implications of Iris getting into a fight with them is... concerning, to say the least.
I'm just worried that this "fight" may have, possibly, not been of Iris' making.
Call it a hunch, but I feel like any altercation Iris would have with the bullies would've been in self-defense. (You'll see why I think that after a few paragraphs.)
The next conversation we see Iris have is with Alux after her attackers are gone.
"Are you okay, Miss?- Ouch! What- was that for?"
"I can handle myself, you know."
"I never said you couldn't."
"Look, if you're trying to get something out of saving me, then you're mistaken.”
"I don't want anything."
"Yeah, suure... wait, are you... serious?"
"Yeah, I'm serious. I just wanted to help.”
"But... why?"
"Why what?"
"Why did you help me?"
"Well, you looked like you were in trouble. You needed help, so I helped!"
"But you don't even know who I am! I could be a criminal, for all you know."
"-And I still would've helped you."
"Wow. You'd be the first one.
Pause
"Look, if you're trying to get something out of saving me, then you're mistaken."
That… is a VERY concerning thing to say to a man who just defended you, for no apparent reason as you would see it, as a woman who was just being targeted and harassed.
To put it lightly, I smell trauma.
We know AR doesn't shy away from rather uncomfortable topics like Sexual Harassment and Physical Violence.
When Alux gives this kind gesture to Iris, the first thing she does is assert that she doesn't need Alux to stand up for her. That she didn't need a man to defend her. She can get by, all on her own.
Iris even assumed that the only reason Alux would even be "saving" her is to get something from or out of her. When she realizes that Alux is being genuine, she gets... confused. It's obvious that she doesn't get this kind of kindness from strangers unless they had an ulterior motive pertaining to her. Her difference in eye colors is most likely why she was and is treated differently by many people. So when she meets someone who is unbiased and non-judgmental about a person's physical appearance, it's strange to her.
Then, we get to the second portion of the conversation
"Then I'm happy to be the first. I'm Alux by the way."
"I'm Iris."
"Pleasure to meet you. Your eyes are so pretty and unique, I don't think I've ever seen anybody with mismatched eyes like that.”
"You really think so?"
"Of course!- OUCH!”
"Stop trying to sweet talk me you jerk!"
"S-sweet Talk? What does that even mean?”
"You know? 'sweet talk', 'flirting', 'being overly nice for some reason'?"
"Uhh, I'm confused..." (this is where I got the Aro Alux headcanon from ^^^^)
"So..., you're seriously just being genuine?"
"Yeah... is that a bad thing or something...?”
"No, it's... just different, that all..."
Pause
…
*Deep inhale*
Iris taking Alux's compliment on her eyes as a sight of "sweet talking/flirting" is very alarming.
The fact that she views sweet talking akin to FLIRTING is a really bad sign for her!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The definition of "sweet talking" is
"insincerely praise (someone) in order to persuade them to do something."
The definition of flirting is
“behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.”
Flirting can be serious and unserious depending on what the person who's flirting means.
But sweet talk under the guise of flirting is more akin to manipulation than it is flirting, as the sweet talk is used to make someone do something, while having the flirting being the reason why the person sweet talking wants you to do something. But because sweet talking is insincere praise, the flirting then becomes THE insincere praise given.
Iris thought Alux's actions of defending and complimenting her were insincere, ("stop trying to sweet talk me you jerk!") And that he was only doing it to get something from her. ("Look, if you're trying to get something out of saving me, then you're mistaken.")
Iris was so quick to assume such a thing from Alux, and was so quick to get defensive about herself and her ability to self-defend.
Remember when I said I think that the "fight" Iris had with the bullies was actually self-defense? Yea well, the reason I think that is because Iris is very vulnerable, trying to put up a tough facade. She has a target on her back and is often bullied for her uniqueness. With how snarky and vindictive the bullies act towards her, I wouldn't be surprised if one of them put their hands on her.
And here is where we get into the not so fun part of this Analysis.
Here is where I would usher you to click out of this post if you feel uncomfortable with discussions of Sexual Harassment/Assault and or Sexual/Romantic Maniputation. (When I first made this realization of Iris, it was not fun for me)
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As I've said, AR doesn't shy away from uncomfortable topics, and is a bit of a more mature series. Fully displaying one of the many awful things some girls go through. (The Clark and Mae interaction.)
Now, I want you to understand the implications of Iris thinking sweet talking is akin to flirting, and how she thought Alux had originally wanted something out of her when he "saved" her.
…
Did you let it sit and sink in? Because when I did, I was mortified.
Iris is pretty and different and vulnerable because she's different. She may even be insecure about it. Maybe that's why she blushes when Alux compliments her on her eyes.
She's quick to snap at Alux because of her assumptions. Why would she even make the assumptions in the first place?
-----------------------------------------------
I believe that, unfortunately, at some point in her life, Iris had been taken advantage of.
She was in danger, and someone helped her. She thanked them and was about to set off until they stopped her, and started to press her. "Well, I did something for you, why don't you do something for me as repayment?"
They sweet talked her into giving in. Using her eyes as a means to make her vulnerable. Convincing her they were flirting with her. Making her believe they were interested in her. Only to leave her alone and scared.
-------------------------------------------------
It's a sad thought and realization to have. The degree of which the action was is, I feel, is for the best, to be up to interpretation. It's not nice to think about these things, but this makes Iris a very complex and deep character, and I feel that she deserves to be talked about more.
With how she persists and how confident she can be, it's clear she's grown past any harm done to her. It's just this defensiveness manifested to protect herself from any more harm similar.
(Note: This is NOT a confirmed backstory or any confirmed history about Iris. She may as well have a completely different reason for why she was so defensive and closed off at first. Maybe fake friends or a fake crush. Something a little more lighter as implications of SA or anything similar is hard to stomach.)
Ok old analysis over.
Time for thoughts.
Now that we have more Iris content, I'm actually really glad I made this. Iris’ potential abuse is very subtle and is not a focus point, and I think that was a good choice to have.
It's not a defining character trait for her. It's her light rudeness and presenting rough exterior that makes her, well, her! And that very well can be a result of her past. Another thing I didn't notice before is that she always seems to be on edge. She always has her guard up. And she's quick to act on something.
And the most interesting part about this? Later, like in this most recent ep, she doesn't know what to do with these feelings. It's like she's conflicted. She knows it's silly and nonsensical that she developed this crush so soon, but she can't help but feel this way.
And another thing is that these feelings are only seen with her.
Her possible previous experience was not ideal, and as it may have been her first or one of her first, she wouldn't have properly known what a good start to a relationship would look like. And this time with Alux, it's now her first proper time where she can fully digest these feelings.
Now, I haven't really experienced “romantic attraction” in my 15 years on this earth, but from accounts of other people, I would surmise that feelings like these are inescapable for some. Consuming you every time you look at your crush. To a point where some would go to drastic measures to satisfy any desire pertaining to the crush. (Every time girls at my school talk about relationships, it's always either about an insane guy or them doing the most out of pocket thing to get their crush to notice them) so I would assume at least that these feelings are intense, and that they're not by choice by Iris. (It's choice by the writers lol)
And it's the whole thing about the fact that the romance aspect of the series is presented through Iris. We don't see any hints of crushes or romantic endeavors from anyone else.
Ok except maybe Petro and Mark but that's doomed yaoi-
And we don't see it in Alux, we only see it in the fact that IRIS is the one who has a crush. Not Alux.
When we focus on Alux, it's more about his secret identity of being a prince, and trying to find his true self and what his past really was before returning to Cozen. Not about his love life or romantic endeavors. (He does have one or pursue any LOL)
But with the presumidly main romance arc being presented through Iris, it may be about her learning how to deal with her own feelings, others feelings, and her relationship to romantic and platonic dynamics throughout the series.
How will that turn out? I have no idea. But I doubt it will be successful with Alux. He has bigger fish to fry.
I just wanted to express my feelings and thoughts about this aspect of Iris. She is a character that is becoming more developed, like with Alux, it's just slower due to the runtime of each episode. And I found her character intriguing, so I just kept thinking about her until I couldn't. 🥴
#alux rising#favremysabre#ar iris#forget chronic petro yapper call me Iris yapper instead 💯💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥🗣🗣🗣🗣#i like breaking down characters and trying to understand them :]#ironic thing that i kind of hate English class rn cuz we're reading animal farm#and like#i like the characters :D#but George Orwell's writing can kinda...#get annoying#like it has so many obvious parralles about communism and stalin#to a point it feels like hes patranizing the reader#like a 4th grader would understand animal farm#i think i just prefer Ayn Rand Anthem more😒#it was more poetic#sorry for yapping about controversial books#i love em but i also have to remember that their written by humans too😔 and can be flawed#just like Iris!!!+1!1!11!! aha!!!!! segway!!!!!!!!#anyways media analysis is my forte and i use it on unnecessary media to analyze from an academia perspective but i don't care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#its my hyperfixation i get to choose what i do about it 🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯#also#gears and iris fighting for the number 1 alux fan in the alux fan club (theres only 2 people in it)#oh and this analysis in 2000 words long#💀
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Physical media is forever (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#Vent#I'm trying to remember the last time I made a fandom vent rather than my sona.... Probably Vargas-something#*continues to project onto Max* He really is just like me fr#Probably pretty obvious what this is in reference to - turned a bit more malicious and intentional here#Something something it's easier to be angry at a source of intention than to be sad about coincidental bad luck#I'm not about to be thankful for a bad thing happening but the fallout thereof Is interesting in its own right#Like how this probably wouldn't have crossed my mind elsewise - nor would I have started and finished it all in one big sprint#Not much else I could do except get some of the feelings Out#Ft. some of the thoughts I had - self arguments to try to minimize(?) the hurt#Especially of just recreating it since so much of it was my thoughts - Max's dreams are just his subconscious right? Haha#But when you build something over the course of years there's these subtle builds that divorce Then from Now#Not to mention whatever stimuli at the time - if Max's life coincided with specific dreams and both are never repeated#One thing that I think about a lot - ironically haha - is that you only get to experience A Thing for the first time Once#You are then forever changed even if just in some small way - an action that can never be unactioned#Even otherwise recreating the perfect set of circumstances just won't produce the same outcome#It all threads into my thoughts on Legacy as well - if what we leave behind ceases to be - if our butterfly wings are blown out#It could happen at any point - posthumously or while we're still here - and how much does that change in the long run?#It's an interestingly depressing thought haha#It's also part of why I double down on art so so so much - a language that cuts to the core of me#Every picture worth 1000 words - hopefully enough to make up for however many lost (I did a rough estimate and it would've been ~380k)#Somewhere in there are the feelings that lost their voice - were big and loud enough to immortalize in graphite on paper#Scanned and uploaded and maybe even downloaded elsewhere in the world - preserved fourfold in a way a single file on a single computer isn't#Even if one is destroyed it's somewhere else; the danger of only having one copy a kind of trust in program or physicality but no guarantee#Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts - also part of why I tag to tag limit so often I want them saved somewhere outside myself#Seems silly to talk about the art too but I have thoughts there as well haha - like of Madame Vyer asking for Dex's lighter#Dex holding Max back - to protect him from the damage while forcing him to confront it cruelty cruelty
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would Tom Cruise be a good Tony Stark
Well damn, Anii. You've asked me The Question. Right to the chase. And you didn't even buy me dinner first.
To put it bluntly, no. This is no criticism to TC's acting chops of course, the thing just is, Tony Stark is an incredibly, extremely, tremendously difficult character to play.
The reason being, Tony Stark can VERY EASILY become an unlikeable, hard to empathize with character. (It's the point of why he was created - look it up, it's fascinating. He was an experiment meant to make an unlikeable character likeable). This is mostly due to his cocky outer persona. There's an inner kindness and empathy to him that's VITAL to his character. And if the audience can't see that in him, they won't be able to connect with him.
RDJ is so perfect for the role because he is so similar to Tony Stark in so many ways. He had a redemption story that mirrored the character's, so he was able to empathize. He also operates in a very similar way to Tony. He's very charismatic and sharp, but he's genuinely a kind human being.
It's much easier to play a character that's very similar to who you are as a person. So for a character that's as hard to play as Tony Stark, it fits to cast someone who has had a similar experience.
I don't doubt Tom Cruise's ability to look inside a character and give them a heart and an inner life separate from the outer persona, and make them 3 dimensional, as we've seen him do this before.
I just think that because Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise, we would watch Tony Stark (played by TC), and it would be very difficult to look past his outer persona and see that inner kindness shining underneath.
Also, RDJ is the only person in the world who can play Anthony Edward Stark aside from me. Hope this helps <33
#last part was kind of a joke bc I love rdj so much its insane#but thank you so much for the ask anii genuinely I love talking about actors#idk if I really got my point across but there it is to the best of my ability#I think about this alternate universe sometimes though#it haunts me#in a good way or a bad way im not sure#but I love rdj#tony stark#robert downey jr#iron man#rdj#tom cruise
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The thing about the painter analog that people don't get and makes them hate it is that at heart this isn't a serious horror story. This is pure gore not only for the sake of gore but for the sake of camp. Once I was talking of to my dad laughing at the guy who had his face sanded off and he was like yeah not new they did that in Jason already 🙄 which was later reinforced by UrbanSpook admitting this is inspired by those old 80s slasher which should tell you everything.
I'm saying this bc i saw a video pairing it with Playground and the incest game and while I don't know the second I watched a video on playground once and the difference is that that book is trying to tell a story and say something on top of the gore but the later makes it hard to care. Which is kind of the issue another "gone too far" piece of media my beloved A Serbian Film runs into where you cannot take yourself too seriously if you also want to show over the top violence or you'll lose the audience.
OF COURSE there are exceptions like Hostel, Saw and 😏 the human centipede ☺️ (cocksucker for that movie and it's more serious points, though it barely counts bc the gore is very tame save for in 2) and I couldn't exactly tell you what's the difference between what makes them work and what doesn't but still.
But I'm getting off topic I'm not here to say which media is good or not I'm here to point out the painter is not a serious story that asks you to care for the characters it's a over the top schlocky gore that asks you to go GROOOOSS or laugh at the over the top brutality it presents. Which is very standard in horror.
#luly talks#urbanspook#the painter analog horror#also yes actually I'll mention THC again bc that movie is deemed to go ''too far'' which is joked about often in its sequels#in 3 after the inmates at the prison watch the movie they echo the opinions of the public (calling the director sick saying he'd be jailed#etc except for my best friend who GETS IT and is laughing ILY BESTIE) and 2 is a direct response to the reaction of 1#while 1 is an extremely fucking tame horror movie BY ALL FUCKING MEANS (1 surgery scene and its so clean. after that just a tad bit of blood#and some minor infection) they made a movie that ACTUALLY went too far#and i ironically enough hate it despite appreciating this bc it just isn't fun for me. because it's trying a bit too hard.#but in case you don't know. one of the links of the centipede is a pregnant woman. she escapes and gives birth in the car. baby falls on the#brakes. she steps on its head.#pointing it out since children seem to be the point ppl go THIS IS TOO FAR#i personally found the baby squishing the highlight of the movie. second to that is. the barbed wire rape#which i didn't like because i don't enjoy seeing women be raped in my movies but its like#so funny man. literally bro put barbed wire on his cock. like that's just iconic#what shit like this and the painter are trying to achieve is simple shock. and that's FUN.#if you dont find it fun that's literally okay it simply isn't your piece of cake but that doesn't mean its bad or it shouldn't exist.#like i still see ppl insult it like GROW UP... THIS KIND OF HORROR HAS EXISTED FOREVER STOP BEING SUCH A BABY MAN
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sometimes i forget that being depressed isn't normal honestly
#bambi's rambling#i mean like it's normal for me and has been for years#possibly always#like i remember crying myself to sleep and thinking no one loved me at like age five#i just didn't really understand the concept until like. fifteen or sixteen i think#at one point i looked up an online 'are you depressed' quiz#even before my mom put me in therapy cause she was concerned#but it said i had 'mild depression' so i was like oh well that doesn't really count obviously#(the ironic part was that it was the same test that the therapist used to see if i was depressed. so apparently it was legitimate)#but like i dont know how not to be depressed#i know its getting worse lately but like. what do i do about that#i'm so horrendously uncomfortable talking about this kind of thing even in online settings#like there's a 50/50 change imma delete this instead of posting it it's that bad#prolly gonna delete this even if i do post it#how am i supposed to get help when i can't even ask for it. that kinda thing#not like it matters all that much anyway lmao#it's just my brain being stupid like normal#vent#tw vent#tw depression#tw mental illness#cw depression#cw mental health
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rant about uhh genderfluid lesbians ig
low key think ppl who say genderfluid/nonbinary people who experience any ounce of boy aligned gender can't be lesbians forgot what non binary means. many times its someone whos between boy and girl in some way, so they would in some way, be boy aligned.. ppl who say this made non binary some magical third gender lmao. the point of being genderqueer completely flew over your head.
many genderfluid people aren't gonna just?? have definitive genders they're allowed to fluctuate to or know what they fluctuate to?? many times, they don't identify as certain genders they just identify as genderfluid and feel masculine and feminine sometimes yk. saying genderfluid people who identify as lesbians can't feel like a boy sometimes or encompass boyness in their identity is inhumane and chronically online. likely, genderfluid people *are* going to fluctuate to boy aligned genders. you can't like, make up a specific criteria for something so abstract as gender, it doesn't just work as "this is how boy aligned i am!!". it reminds me of typology nerds who say everything is contradictory..
#chronically online#honestly im starting to feel like people who say this don't even really support non binary lesbians to begin with#even though they say they're in support of them ironically#its just like a new way to keep the same thing#this is worded awfully someone please understand what im saying#also im not trying to make a statement on how genderfluidity should be#i was using that specific genderfluid experience for the point#genderfluid is a broad term#i identify as genderfluid with specific genders i fluctuate to myself#lgbtq community#hot take#rant#genderqueer#non binary#gender non conforming#this ideology is kind of ironic and anti reality too because gay people tend to go against gender norms#NOT SAYING FOR EVERYONE OBVIOUSLY SOMEONE PLS UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING
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imagine roxas sora and ventus all being roommates. the shenanigans they'd get up to.......... riku goes to sora's apt one day and is like 'why are they here' and he's just like "??? they live here??????'
do you think they'd count as other people. or would only ventus and sora count. bc roxas is just sora.
sora forgot to put roxas down on the lease and so hes gaslighting the landlord into thinking roxas and ven are the same person
#also ofc ven and roxas count as their own people#thats literally the whole point of roxas' character#i am not going to disrespect my beloved by saying hes not his own person#when that is his core struggle#anyways i think this is a fun idea#but im too much of a sucker for sea salt family stuff for me to really think roxas would be roomies with sora and ven#i think the dynamic would be funny though!!#we got ray of sunshine; clinical depression; and The Horrors#with guest appearances from least straight straight man#brought back my sora and roxas watch mlp headcanon#its one of soras favorite shows#roxas' favorite character is starlight btw#he liked her before her redemption#hes pretending to like the show ironically but he greatly enjoys it#also ven is the worst kind of person (a morning person)#i think ventus wakes up early makes a healthy breakfast and goes for a morning jog#like a monster#(i love him)#soras just trying to keep shit together#and by that i mean keep roxas from killing riku every time he shows up#the cereal brand is a reference to the kh2 manga btw#where axel gets roxas food to try and cheer him up and the brand is heart moon#still not sure exactly what food it was#doodles#shitpost#roxas#sora#ventus#riku
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this semester cooked me so hard i’m not even gonna lie
#tw kind of a vent#remember how i said i was entering my academic weapon era? well that fell flat on its face#i let my mental issues win a lot of this semester and i regret it a lot#there were days i couldn’t even get out of bed even to do the things i enjoyed#i isolated so much to the point where i almost fully convinced myself that i wasn’t meant to be anywhere.#that everyone was just better off without me#the only thing that made me want to get out of bed was my job which is kind of ironic#then my uncle getting killed made it spiral even more#i’m just. ready for summer at this point LOL.#i’m doing better mentally but my grades and gpa were very much sacrificed in a way#it is what it is at this point#to be deleted
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i know ch3 probably won't ever put them in a bl series ever again but WHAT IF... LIKE... if i had a coin for every actors who did the 'tee bundit directed bl series -> ch3 lakorn' pipeline, i'd have two which isn't much but it's crazy they're in ch3 most high budgeted series right now playing cousins
#claire opens her goddamn mouth#do i enjoy sipping tea of gulf being dissed for his subpar performance on dhevaprom? kind of. do i still wish him well at ch3? ofc#i feel like mainstream lakorn audience are pretty hard to please so once you enter lakorn-world you gotta play by their rules#i fear for kao's series most tbh bc his acting still has much room for improvement#it'd be ironic if rookie mike ends up being the most popular from the dhevaprom series despite this being his first role#but then again sometimes its also the writing but laorchan's weak link was really more gulf than the script tbh#i dont agree with most of thai netizen bashing but every once in a while some good points are made :')#anyway this post was just meant to post the cute gif of kao and gulf together. i did NOT intend to rant at all in the tags#stream dhevaprom kwanruetai for the handsome lovesick doctor
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I'd like to live in a simpler world where i can just find the physical manifestation of my social anxiety and hit it with a sword until it disappears forever
#vent#<- i think this applies#i want to talk with people and join rp groups and make more friends and be able to do group assignments#and not all of the issues i have that make those things hard are social anxiety exactly but having less social anxiety would certainly help!#okay to reblog#i mean id probably be able to learn to be better at communicating if i wasn't terrified of what could happen if i failed at it once#which is kind of ironic i guess#i tend to assume ive already failed before i start#and then get so overwhelmed by the thought of that failure that I can't start to try#but i guess the whole point of anxiety is that the fear is irrational#no matter how much i understand that the fear isn't right and its causing problems that doesn't just make it disappear#so it would be nice if i could just make it disappear. by hitting it with a sword a bunch#actually wait im going to draw that
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