#You are then forever changed even if just in some small way - an action that can never be unactioned

[simplysinning]

Unexpectedly Tender

A night of pleasure where Astarion is the only focus for once.

Astarion X Reader (18+ themes) cw: Astarion with afab anatomy, Cazador mentions, sexual content MDNI, oral (astar!receiving), use of 'cunt', fingering, hungry yearning even though you’re already together, and slight religious imagery? (I want to worship him, respectfully.) No other description other than you being taller and a drow.

7.2k words

Drows aren't particularly known for being the nicest of races, especially those sworn to the spider goddess with an odd sense of humor, yet the vampire spawn can use himself to prove that people can change, if not for the better. Of course, that's to insinuate this drow in particular was never anything but agreeable since the moment they met each other, even after the rogue pointed a knife at you for some answers fresh from the naultaloid.

That's not to say astarion liked you from the start, no there was an underlying bitterness on the spawn's part from your weirdly infuriating need to play savior wherever you went. The needy didn't stay the needy for long, and something so simple as retrieving a stolen pouch turned into a full-on family rescue mission. The whole heroic, spring-into-action type was someone that tended to get on Astarion's nerves, though he used to see himself the type to once marry someone like that.

Well, when he was about…13.

Regardless, you can only imagine how stupid Astarion felt when he realized that he liked your inherently nice nature, a major contradictory personality to his, and eventually came to terms that those feelings were a given.

Naturally, there were some chaotic times courtesy of Astarion's occasional goading to make a decision for the group's entertainment betterment, but you always took the change of plans in stride. Never angry, perhaps disappointed (expectedly), but forever the friendly hunk of underdark you were.

So, Astarion had to catch his neck from whipping off its swivel the moment your voice dipped off into a low growl at the woman in front of them, your eyes narrowed in irritation.

It would have been easy for Astarion, with the woman's (slightly creepy) persistence even after his third refusal, to simply allow you to give the alright to bite her should you ask. After all, what was one little bite in comparison to a rare, powerful potion? It would have been fine.

…Right?

'Just a small moment of disgust to get myself through,' but, surprisingly, you just stopped the spawn's half step forward and snapped, "he said no."

The tick in your jaw, the way your voice held no room for the usual patience and kindness, and lastly, the way your eyes darted to Astarion's in a flash of concern. You spoke with the authority of someone seasoned, as if your little group of lost souls have always been together, every one of your words carrying a stern weight and finality.

"Where are you?" You murmur, your words gentle and cutting through his mind like a knife through butter. There’s a small, nearly chaste kiss to his bare shoulder, and it nearly startles him.

The hands which were once gripping the spawn's supple backside above the fabric of his pants are now resting against the small of his back, gentle and not pressing, just below his ritual scars.

Astarion, coming back to his mind with you in your shared inn room, relishes in how the arms encircling him hold kindly, unburdened by the tension of restraint should he not want to continue, and he eases a quiet sigh.

'You'll never be like the others…'

"I'm right here, my love," he responds, his voice light and airy, bare from the false seduction dripping from the tips of his fangs.

You plant a kiss to the other's neck, careful to avoid the jagged skin that had healed two centuries ago, and Astarion closes his eyes when he notices that too.

"Are you sure? Because we can stop. I'm fine with just talking, or something."

The spawn slides his hand up your back and it comes to a stop on the back of your head, his slender fingers toying with the shorter hairs. You pull your head back in response to look at the vampire, and Astarion uses the leverage to pull you down toward him. If the awkward angle for your taller frame is uncomfortable, you don't say and only allow Astarion to do as he pleases.

"Or," Astarion exhales, his red eyes darting to your lips, "something," and then he's pulling them to his. Your lips slot together, moving a little out of sync only because of the temporarily different level of desire.

Astarion has always been hungry and hasty when kissing, all tongue and teeth and starving of the safety and affection he so desperately craved for the last two hundred years, like it would be snatched away from him. And, with Cazador around the corner, it could all very well be. The mere idea of it, never being able to see you again, seeing your smile as you walk the familiar path to his tent in the morning to ask him how slept, is detrimental to Astarion's psyche that had only just begun to snap its scattered pieces back into place.

You like to take your time, give slow and tender pecks that gradually press firmer and open wider when you pick up on the vampire's need for more, but there's always a subtle hesitation; a looming question you're unable to truly verbalize.

'Is this really what you want?'

Astarion is aware of this, of your innate sense of overprotection for him, of his trauma from being an alluring plaything for Cazador. He would never forget the look on your face the moment he told you a fraction of the hell he had to endure, all flared nostrils and pupils constricted in anger, and he would never forget the way he felt a subtle throb in between his legs. That called a different problem into question, however.

There was a conversation you had before about Astarion's reluctance for sexual intimacy, and you made sure he knew that you understood and was indeed obeying Astarion's request of going as slow as he needed you to.

The spawn remembers how nervous he was when he told you that he didn't think he was ready to be intimate yet, bated breath between his teeth though the vampire had no need to breathe. Being used for his body for so many centuries essentially defiled Astarion's views on sex, and he severely hoped you would understand his hesitance.

He couldn't deny that everything stirred at certain things you did, the ways in which you looked at him, how quick you moved to protect him whether physically or other, but he (with your steady guidance) grew self-aware. Realizing that, after discovering his decimated self-respect and self-worth, he wasn't ready, and he had the option to say...no.

And he wanted you to know that he came to that conclusion, deciding it would only be fair since you bestowed him the grace for self-discovery.

"Even though I know things between us are different," Astarion provided a forced giggle, his lips wobbling in the corners, the facade beginning to melt away into something unfamiliarly vulnerable, "being with someone still feels���tainted. Still brings up those feelings of disgust and loathing. I don't know how else to be with someone. No matter how I'd like to." You hadn't said anything for a minute or so, and Astarion still mildly adherent to his ways of self-deprecation had assumed you began to doubt whether or not to continue pursuing...whatever you were moving towards, especially being so soon after your previous conversation of Astarion's 'affection' being self-serving and under a completely false pretense at first, but before he could voice, 'It's fine if you think twice about us', you spoke.

"Astarion," your cadence was deliberate and measured, choosing your words carefully, "I'm not going after you for sex, and if I gave you that impression, I'm sorry. I'm ready when you're ready, I mean it. We can be together without having sex at all, if that would make you happy."

Astarion breathed a laugh, astonished yet still a bit half-hearted. "Now, now," he chided playfully, his voice smooth, effortlessly persuasive, "that almost sounds like a challenge."

But he wanted to believe that. He did.

He does.

But, even Astarion has a breaking point.

It took a while, fuck, there was no doubt about it. Several nights of seduction falling away to mentally drifting off at the beginning and apologizing profusely afterwards when Astarion began to feel uncomfortable and backtracked, but those moments of retraction didn't matter. You never showed signs of annoyance or frustration, as if you knew that was his way of pacing himself-his starting and stopping-and it would ease the tension weighing the vampire's shoulders when he saw you were only ever concerned. Your face would always be calm, sometimes peaceful, but your hands would hover in the space between your bodies, indecisive and unsure if the man wanted your touch in those moments or not. At times he welcomed it, releasing a little sigh when your warm palms caressed his undead skin, and other times, he needed a bit of space. You never showed disapproval, if you harbored some, whenever he would push away and leave a gap between you. You only waited for him. You always moved to the rhythm he set; stopping when he told you to stop, going when he told you to go, and Astarion was sure if he asked you to give him your heart, you would carve it out with your bare hands and hold it out to him with a smile on your face. It would surely keep beating in his hands, the love you so clearly shelter for him taking root within your arteries and replacing your frivolous need for blood.

It was an odd thing, foreign, being in control of a situation after centuries of enslavement.

However, Astarion feels a shiver travel up his spine as he drinks in the groan you release into his mouth, not unwelcome.

Without breaking your kiss, the vampire walks forward, pushing you back with a hand on your chest, and you simply follow, allowing Astarion to push and push until your back collides with the cushions of the room's bed. The plain brown blankets ruffle softly, a pillow falls to the ground with a gentle thud, the mattress sinks underneath your weight as your elbows move behind you to prop your upper body, and then there's a moment of pause. Astarion's lips leave yours with a wet smack, a thin string of saliva curving in the very, very small space created by the separation, but Astarion watches you take one, two, two-and-a-half breaths before he reconnects them with a muffled moan. It's not necessary for him to breathe and he hasn't for the past two centuries, but he tries to be considerate of you.

You, content, take whatever the vampire gives you, filling and all-consuming and your lungs burning in your chest from the lack of oxygen, but you easily conclude that you would happily die here before moving away from him.

Your mind momentarily calls to the revive scroll resting in your pack, and there's a fleeting thought it might certainly come in handy tonight. Hands fumble for clothing, and when it all comes off, Astarion isn't sure where his body heat ends and where yours begin.

Everything is burning, throbbing, aching, and there's a steady pulse between the vampire's legs he can no longer ignore.

His head almost fights the motion to pull away, as if the mere notion is blasphemous, but nevertheless, Astarion pulls back and slowly opens his eyes. Your face beneath him is mildly obscured by a stray, silver curl, illuminated a pale yellow from the candlelight, but Astarion's vision clears the moment your hand delicately pins it behind his ear. Your fingers barely brush the elongated skin, but the vampire figures if his heart was still working, the action would have sent a considerable amount of blood to his cheeks.

"…You're so beautiful," your lips twitch upwards in the corners.

Astarion can't fight the urge to smile back, fangs and all, and his eyes, reminiscent of polished rubies and piercing, sparkle in adoration unbeknownst to him, darting back and forth from one of your eyes to the other. Though there's evident lust present, it becomes overshadowed by an unsure tenderness, your desires restrained in the taut of your neck, and the tips of your splayed fingers flex along the back of Astarion's knees. It's clear you're holding back, anxious to go any further despite Astarion's clear want, and the man knows that if he wanted to stop here even after going so far to be completely bare, you would let him and do so without complaint.

The vampire's thumb strokes your cheek absentmindedly, and your hands are on his chest, tenderly caressing the small indentations as if second nature.

"…So are you, darling,” the vampire kisses the tip of your nose.

The air is soft, your touches kind, and your breaths fan across the other's mouth acting as a heated, wine-scented aphrodisiac. But, as much as you soothe and woo him with cordial romanticism, you seriously need to get on with it.

So, leaning into the shell of your ear, Astarion gives you a nudge to do so. The pulsating is beginning to hurt at this point.

"Touch me," he sighs, and is able to feel the surprisingly violent shudder that racks through your body beneath him. "Please, my love," he adds. You hum. "…I am," you respond before pressing a wet, open-mouth kiss to the vampire's shoulder. "I will, fuck," you exhale, "I will."

The kisses start to travel the expanse of his skin, hot and occasionally pausing to suck and bite, up and down and wherever they can touch, trying to gauge his egregious zones, trying to see what's a yes or a no for him.

Pleasure blooms just below his stomach even though you had barely touched him yet, your fingers lightly tracing along the milky skin of his thighs spread across your lap. The pressure of your fingers gradually presses further but never restricting, never painful, only using Astarion's body as a grounding measure against your own raging urge to simply ravish the man on top of you.

'Not too fast,' you remind yourself, tilting your head backwards to reattach your lips to your lover's in a sloppy kiss Astarion happily accepts. 'Not too fast. Slow down, slow...'

You know Astarion can feel your arousal against the back of his thighs, but you stop yourself from grinding up into him, because this is all about him.

Astarion was sure he had never been this wet in his life, the nearly foreign sensation of tackiness between his thighs a bit of a sensational nightmare, and the need for release is essentially screeching in his brain, bouncing around his skull with unrestrained vigor, "touch me, touch me, fucking touch me!"

It's bordering on overwhelming and somehow feels under-stimulating at the same time. Foreplay was never a grace bestowed to Astarion while he entertained Cazador's newest sacrificial rat, them usually opting to put their own pleasure first above all else, so he wasn't entirely sure if the new experience is something he likes or hates. It feels like teasing, in a way, he supposes. Touching everywhere but where he so desperately needs, the pure torture of it all, yet it somehow makes everything better, more.

The buildup isn't bad, it's the waiting after that messes with his head.

You pull back, your half-lidded eyes staring up at Astarion, intense and almost predatory, and tug the spawn's hips forward an inch in a way that causes Astarion's heat to graze the warm skin of your lower stomach. The slight friction calls for a small gasp, a bout of pleasure flashing down the base of his spine, but things still.

"Can I...?" The question hangs off in the air, your hand, palm facing the ceiling, rests below Astarion's belly button and stops.

"Please," the spawn's eyebrows come together, now unafraid to display his frustration, and he begs, his voice tilting into a feral grumble. "Do something."

Astarion, even in the state he's in, doesn't miss the look that settles over your face the longer you stare up at him, your eyes narrow. It's shadowed, dark and hungry and wanting and in over two hundred years of being him, he finds himself unafraid to be at the receiving end of that familiar gaze. So many others sneered at him, licked their lips at the thought of mounting him as if he were nothing but this curly-haired elven beauty to be conquered, and he would let them, for Cazador. Some he would sleep with to possibly gain a sense of satisfaction, a small act of defiance to show that he could still enjoy sex on his own, but it usually ended up with this crushing ton of self-loathing on his sore back.

But, this time, it's different.

The look you're giving him sets him on fire, more scorching than the blistering flare of the goddamn sun, and his bottom lip slots between the front of his teeth in a last dash attempt to smother this pitiful thing of a choke gurgling atop the base of his tongue. He needs you; your touch, your fingers, your mouth, anything and everything he's been deprived of throughout all of this time. He's ready. Gods, he's ready.

And he commends you for your self-control, because Astarion is sure that he can't stop himself from having you now, not when you look at him like that-like you just want to fucking devour him down to the last strand of silver curl.

So, when your hand finally slips between his thighs and presses against his sweltering mound, your fingers gliding along his cunt with careful but firm precision, Astarion’s eyes nearly live up to his namesake. His back arches, his torso pressing into you so much your hand is almost squashed between the both of you, but you manage to keep the pace. There’s a silent determination ruminating from you, your motions; a promise to let him experience every gratification you have to offer and it’s clear that you’re not disappointing him. Your lover’s face falls slack, his mouth parting into a sharp ‘o’, and you resist the urge to lick at the tip of his fangs that peak under the edge of his kiss-bruised lips.

You concede, your eyes fervently follow a bead of sweat floating down the line of Astarion’s pallid neck, that no painting, nor sculpture, nor Gods can compare to your lover’s beauty. It could be a harrowing notion to others, some devout worshipers would probably sputter in indignation if you were to say that outloud, (Gale certainly would be up in arms to defend Mystra) but it remains an undeniable fact to you. His moans, uninhibited by rehearsed parade and uncomfortable deceit, spread across your face reminiscent of a sweetened vineyard swaying in the breeze that you can taste on your back molars. 

You decide, right here and now, that you worship only one man, and his name is brighter than any cosmic piece of heaven.

“I,” Astarion suddenly stutters, cutting through your glorifying thoughts, and you only now notice he’s begun to roll his hips against your hand, creating a quicker friction. “Oh, plea...” His plea dies.

“Tell me,” your head lolls to the side to catch Astarion’s eyes, but he’s too lost in chasing whatever he needs to feel, “tell me what you need so I can give it to you.” 

Unintentionally, your tone dips off as you get dragged further into the growing rigidity of your lover’s spine, the last part of your sentence dripping with desperate authority, and Astarion whines at the command in your voice that’s always so recognizable, but has him clenching around nothing in this context. This is better than he could have ever imagined, and his past sexual encounters, he gathers, don’t hold a fireball to you. There’s a volcanic simmer beneath his skin, a faint buzzing behind his eyes and the tips of his toes that leaves him both wanting to pull away and longing for more, and it's delicious.  

“What do you want, my love? You want me to go faster?”

You gauge his face, searching for any signs of discomfort or dissociation since you both hadn’t truly gotten this far without some form of regression, but you realize, with a swell of pride warming your chest, Astarion is completely enjoying himself. 

The vampire’s hips stall for a beat, the candlelight catching the jut of his hip, before he’s nodding, frantically, a few curls falling into his face from their usual sweep. They’re too pretty and frame his angular cheeks too well to brush away, so you leave them be, and instead choose to absorb this rare picture; an unpoised Astarion. 

Your wrist pangs, a cramp begins to form along your flexing tendons, but you’ll be damned if you don’t listen to his request and you speed up your fingers, the sound of sloshing wetness ringing beautifully in the middle of your ear like church bells.

You noticed when first getting to know the spawn that he carried this innate air of grace, from his years as an elven magistrate, you assumed, and even when he found himself flustered, there was always something graceful about it. So seeing him like this, keening for your touch and working himself along your fingers to clumsily chase a high he rarely got acquainted to, uncaring about how disheveled he looks…

“Yes,” he whines, “yes, I can,” he moans, “I can feel it..”

You let him do what he wants, what he needs, only keeping the pace of your fingers in their same, quick succession, lest Astarion say otherwise. The buildup is evident in the slow tremble of his thighs, in the hand he uses to instinctively reach out for you as he feels his orgasm steadily approaching, seeking a sense of ground amongst the unfamiliarity, and you promptly lean forward to allow it to snake around the line of your shoulders. Astarion’s head falls to your collarbone and his straight nose is tucking into the junction of skin beneath your earlobe, his other hand settling by his thigh and curling into a fist around the blanket.

Your eyes almost roll into your skull when his pants of ecstasy float into your ear; they’re so much closer, much more clear, and now you can hear a faint crackle, his voice rasping the longer he moans out into the dim room. 

“Gods, yes,” your lover whimpers, the sound going straight to your own arousal, “yes, yes!”

Astarion stills and it takes no magic tower mage to know the vampire’s orgasm crashed down unto him, if the sudden creamy texture pearling the tips of your fingers wasn’t indicative enough. His head tosses back, his back curving into a perfect concave ‘c’, and you lean forward to pepper the expanse of his neck with light pecks, your fingers slowing down to a lazy roll as an aid in helping the spawn on the come down. The sides of your thighs pick up the motion of curling toes and twitching kneecaps that are forced to keep themselves open on your naked hips, and a small smile stretches across your face.

Astarion’s chest is still, his vampiric attributes unable to provide him the need to take deep breaths, but his eyes are hazed, trained onto a piece of random ceiling tile. You sit against each other silently, holding him by the waist when his hips eventually stop twitching, and slowly pull your hand back, your wrist screaming in relief from being released of its awkward position. Your lover’s arm spasms, a false release of air hitching when you graze his sensitive clit.

“You okay?” You murmur, keeping your voice low to help Astarion pleasantly adjust. 

It seems to help, and your smile widens a bit when the man’s head lowers and his eyes meet yours, red irises little by little clearing from their orgasmic fog to focus on your face. It takes a minute, perhaps two-it could have been an hour for all he knows-but he eventually gets there, and his tongue darts from his mouth to salivate his lips before he simpers, knowing he probably looks extremely satisfied. You certainly notice it.

It’s an expression you’ve seldom seen on Astarion’s face save for when he finishes feeding from a particularly big bear, or you when you eventually gave him permission for your blood.

“I’m,” he pauses, “I’m wonderful, my love. That was…”

Your gaze falls to your hand, Astarion’s juices coating your fingers in a shine bordering hypnotic, and you nod. 

Astarion, now able to think in coherent lines of consciousness, is able to get a good look at you. He watches you, notices how your eyelids droop, your facial expression mirroring what he can only describe as melted adoration when your gaze languidly trails over his body before they flick up to his face. He’s seen that look so many times; admiration, but it’s never felt genuine before. There’s a warmth he receives from yours, one that washes over him and melts into his bones, forming his skin and shaping the very flutter of his lashes when you call him beautiful. The gentle touch on his waist pulls him back.

Your lips brush his, “my love,” and then they’re slotting back together. 

The kisses start lazy, relaxed and unhurried to simply have his mouth on yours, tongues dancing along each other in an easy rhythm even without music, but then Astarion feels your legs shift beneath him. He’s hiked further in your lap, but he simply lets it happen, assuming you need to adjust to get comfortable. Though, he comes to find that he’s sorely mistaken when you suddenly lean back, subsequently taking him with you. You both fall onto the bed, Astarion letting out an adorable, “umph.”

Neither one of you says anything, but you do lean forward to place a kiss to Astarion’s cheek, just below his faint beauty mark before you pepper his entire face. Your lips touch the bridge of his nose, his chin, above his smoothing eyebrows, essentially anywhere you could reach, and the domesticity of it leaves him speechless for once.

“My sweet,” you whisper, pausing in between every few pecks to speak, “can you do something for me?”

Astarion hums, his eyes closing when your lips find his neck, and you take that as a sign to continue.

"Can you get on top?" 

"I already am, my dear-"

"-I mean," you licks your lips, "on top…of my face."

"…Oh."

There's a high-pitched giggle that bubbles in the base Astarion’s  throat, involuntary but fleeting.

'Well,' Astarion thinks, his eyes widening, 'this is…also new.'

You, seeing how he pauses at the suggestion, move your finger in small circles on his hip in reassurance, and your eyes soften. "You don't have to, I just thought you might enjoy it."

"I," Astarion clicks his tongue, "I've just…never done that before."

A beat. "…No one has asked you to sit on their face before?" It's your turn to appear so incredulous, finding something like that so…so disrespectful. "Never?"

Astarion shakes his head, now beginning to shrink a little under your sudden bemused stare. He knows you aren’t mad at him, you’re never mad at him (which is why he tends to get away with minimal consequence), but he sees that your upset is genuine. And you are upset, because how can anyone deny this epitome of stunning, masculine monarchy, his ivory throne, adorned with anything less than the most lustrous jewels? What absolute madman, blind and deaf, surely, would give Astarion anything but which he truly deserves? Gold, silver, should fall between his slender fingers, molten and only his, the rarest silks and velvets hanging from his pallid limbs not unlike the knots lining a hangman tree; gorgeously morbid as he.

It makes you mad all over again, picturing those rabid animals all over Astarion, taking and mindlessly ravaging with no incentive to offer a modicum of benevolence. Hounds, the lot of them, soulless and only living to harshly breed the unwilling. How, your chest tightens as your anger makes way for a pang of sorrow, how much Astarion has suffered. You don’t want his torment to loom over him any longer, so you’ll just have to remind him; you are his, in his control. His to love, to break, to leave if he wishes it so. If he is to love you for the remainder of your long lifespans together, or if he is to simply use you to remember that he is more than the body that’s grown so foreign to him, so be it.

Your very soul clutches his, fist trembling, taut, and knuckles deathly white like a frightened babe clinging to their mother’s skirt; craving, clenching to prevent the scattered pieces of Astarion from slipping through your fingers. You’ll hold him forever, if he’ll have you. 

You will provide all you can, and accept all he’s willing to give in return, if anything. You can only hope that he receives you well and chooses you like you chose him.

Pushing those feelings down, you kiss your teeth before pulling the vampire's hips forward even more until he is basically sitting on your chest, the unexpected drag shooting a shudder of pleasure up his spine, and you smirk. Your strength often comes in handy at times. "We need to fix that. Now."

Astarion tries to hover at first, a bit too hesitant to allow his full weight to rest on your face even if his fear was a bit irrational; he’s seen you fight for Gods’ sake. And you aren’t having it. The grip on his hips grows unyielding as if they leave no room for further argument, and his puffy, flushed cunt is slowly lowering, taking its rightful place, against your open mouth. A stolen heir reunited with his true birthright, you surmise.

The pleasure that consumes you is almost too powerful, his taste flooding your senses and clouding your mind in an impenetrable smog of bliss, and you instinctively curse, your lips curling around the letters into his slick folds. Astarion releases a low whine, his head already falling towards the ceiling as if the fictional crown upon his head is too substantial, and he bucks his hips, relishing how your nose drags along his swelling bud. Your tongue explores at first, adagio to measure just where he might need you to be, but you find yourself indulging your thirst too quickly. It’s necessary, requisite, to feel his juices bead the tip of your tongue, his orgasm pooling down your throat essential for you to feel any sense of satisfaction for yourself, slurping and drinking and gulping like a man deprived for too long. Astarion’s body responds in kind; his hands reaching for you in the fray and tangling within your roots unceremoniously. It produces a moan from beneath him, the vibration against him causing a sound so ruined, it reminds you of a wounded sprite, but Astarion has never felt so safe. Even if your jaw practically aches as you attempt to inhale him (you’ll unhinge the damn thing if you have to), the man’s growing sounds spur you further, and Astarion briefly wonders if you’re truly trying to fucking eat him.

“Fuck,” he gasps, one of his hands releasing your hair to hold your forearm as it loops behind him to grip his waist.

Your hold is grounding, scalding, keeping him from getting too lost in himself, and he’s all the more thankful for it the moment your tongue slips further down his wetness to breach his hole, your nose nudging and grinding against his clit. He almost flinches away from the unexpectedness of it, but he gathers, that is what your arm around him is for.

“Fuck!”

Perhaps, Astarion’s eyes roll into his skull, this is the profound ascension Cazador is looking for; this feeling of your tongue splitting him open, lapping him along your tastebuds akin to a thirsting sinner kneeling in front of heaven’s locked gates. To him, this certainly feels no different than ascending to a higher power, and he swears he’s died-again-the moment your hand shifts to use the pad of your thumb to encircle his clit. His hips move on their own, burning from the strain but it feels so good, and rock back and forth, grinding.

You weren’t sure if you'd taken a single breath since he sat down, his thighs tightening on the sides of your face in a vice-like grip, non-verbally screeching at you to move ‘not a goddamn muscle’, not that it matters. Your view from between your lover’s legs, where you conclude your life was always meant to lead you, makes it easy to ignore the still of your chest, a dull scorch fixing around your stuttering heart as it struggles to handle the lack of oxygen. Astarion’s body glistens delectably, shiny from his sweat and arousal, and your eyes study the muscles in his stomach as they tense and twist and jump along with his keens and hisses of pleasure. Your lover’s movements titter the edge of desperate and feral, his hips rocketing along your face as if you were nothing more than an object to bring him to orgasm at this point.  ‘I’m not complaining,’ your eyes flutter closed. ‘Gods, I’m not.’

Astarion chases, following the catalytic pressure building in his stomach, tears forming behind his closed eyelids, and it goes up and up and up and-

His eyes fly open at a finger slipping past his entrance, nimble and thrusting and loudly coated in the slick of him. It’s deafening, how wet he is; it’s rich, nasty, and utterly debauched, but neither of you care. The air around you smells like sex and love and animalistic necessity, and the bed frame meets the wall in response to all of the movement.  “My darling,” Astarion cries, his voice wholly spent, raspy and sobbing. “My love, my sweet,” and he’s babbling. “Don’t stop, don’t-”

‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’

“Don’t-”

Astarion, with his vast vocabulary and overall knowledge from both his time as a spawn and original profession as a magistrate, finds himself unable to describe the sensations running through him. Everything is burning, his hips sting from their motions, his stomach feels tight, but there’s also something else; something deeper. It’s ardent, starting from the bottom of his feet and ending in his chest, and it makes him feel like something is going to happen, something powerful. It buzzes, pulsates, makes his body feel heavy, the pleasure coiling in the pit of his stomach like a spring ready to snap. It’s new and a bit scary, but he knows you’ll be here, knows you’ll protect him, so he lets himself fall.

Your lover goes rigid, silent, a moment passing where every muscle and flex of his limbs comes to a complete halt, before he’s moaning, drawn out and in higher pitch. Your eyebrows draw together in concentration, eyes crossing behind your lids as your own pleasure rains down on you, and the lower half of your face is drenched in your lover’s gushing climax. He’s squirting, and by the grace of the Gods is it succulent. It comes in waves, Astarion’s hips thrusting in time with each flood of his orgasm, and your mouth remains wide open to catch it all, guzzling, taking to him like a kitten to milk.

Astarion convulses atop of your face while you work him through, globs of tears sliding down his cheek, glowing under the slowly dying candlelight, and there’s a ringing in his elongated ears. He can feel his mouth moving, words rolling his tongue and testing syllables on his teeth, but his brain can’t quite register what he’s saying.  

You certainly don’t understand him.

It takes a while for him to settle, the swirls and drags of your tongue now pulling the spawn into painful territory, and when Astarion full-on dry sobs at the feeling of your mouth, you pull away from him.

Your inhales are hefty, gasping and panting beneath him to regulate the breathing you so kindly cut off for him, your heart working overtime to accommodate, and your eyes open. Astarion’s body rises and falls with your deep lungfuls of air, his head angled down toward you in the perfect picture of ecstasy; a transcendental creature of delight and satisfaction. His eyes are misty, his waterline flushed a pretty pink beneath a new surge of unshed tears, but there’s a watery smile hanging from his lips; dopey and pointed. For a while, you don’t move, only massaging Astarion’s waist to ease his occasional spasm, and he’s thankful for it. Astarion has never felt anything so intense, so vigorous and…good.

He didn’t understand you at first, couldn't deduce why on earth you wanted to get to know him beyond the scope of bodily exploration, but at least then you could grant him the protection he needed, however confusing on his part. His mind, still deep within Cazador’s deeply inflicted hell of torture and transactional sex, had made him approach you in the first place, recognizing you as the impromptu leader of your ragtag group of weirdos, with all of his true weaknesses hidden behind a steel wall of falsehoods perfected after two centuries.  

“It was natural. Instinctive.”

But, in this moment with you, as you sit up to carefully lay his body down beside you like he’ll splinter and burst, his arousal gleaming on the lower portion of your face, he infers that he, perhaps, wasn’t meant to understand you. He was only meant to feel, let you chip through his walls with your patience, let you blanket him with your understanding serenity, to separate him from Cazador’s self flagellating sack of exhausted bones, and merely be. 

Be with you.

“Are you alright, Astarion?” You hum, observing his face, watching him for any signs of being off in any way.

Finally, the heavy weight on his tongue lifts, and he releases a low scoff, free of malice, “Simply amazing.” 

His voice is on par with stone gravel, scratchy and sore, and it makes you reach across him, heedful of jostling him too much, to grab a cup of water off the nightstand. It’s lukewarm when you tilt it against Astarion’s lips, but it helps soothe him immensely, and he clears his throat. 

“Do you,” he begins, but there’s something nervous, timidly resigned, about his tone that you instantly pick up on, “do you…want me to-”

Your lips find his, and his question trails off into the roof of your mouth, Astarion moaning softly at the taste of himself on your tongue. His shoulders ease, unaware they drew forward in rigidity to begin with. The air around you starts to clear, calm affection radiating from your heated skin and seeping into Astarion’s dead heart, and he swears upon every God he had no luxury to believe that your love may have the power to revive it. 

“No,” your lips part with a wet, muted smack. “No, I don’t want you to.”

“But,” Astarion’s words stumble, finding it hard to gather himself when your lips find his jawline, “you didn’t get to-”

“I did,” you cut him off again, smooching the side of his neck and tucking a damp curl behind his ear, “because you did.” And it’s true, “You feeling good makes me feel good, my love. Don’t worry about me.”

The vampire makes a face.

How can Astarion not when you always put him first?

His safety, his hunger, and now his pleasure, you always make sure he’s attended to first, placing yourself on the backburner more often than not, and while it’s beyond sweet, he’s starting to feel a bit guilty; guilty that he’s not giving you more than you deserve. Admittedly, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, how to have a real relationship far beyond sexual exchange, and it shows. 

But, he’s learning, and you never rush him. 

Astarion holds one of your hands in his, fingers intertwining around the other’s like straw woven through a basket, a perfect interlace of devotion and comfort; destined.

“I want,” the man’s eyes find yours, his words catching the base of his throat at the warm sentiment on your face whenever you look at him, “you to be happy…with me, with us.” 

Your palm raises to cup his cheek, the vampire nuzzling into it almost instantly with a quiet sigh, and brings your forehead to press against his, the smile on your lips wobbling in affection. The man in front of you, scarlet eyes exhausted and abused but so in love and willing to trust you, allowing you to douse the flames of his own personal hell and pull him up and out means more to you than Astarion will ever understand. 

Or, Astarion’s lips curl into a sheepish grin, his eyes wrinkling in the corners, maybe he does understand you. In his own way.

He’ll never forget the moment he first felt the sun after escaping the naultaloid, the feeling forgotten after having spent so many decades in the dark, traversing the shadows and hugging close to walls like diseased vermin, and how warm it was, almost as if the beams burned brighter just for him to ease the undead chill rooted within his bones; a reunion gift.

He supposes that being with you feels the same way; the sun embracing his skin to drive away the cold, constant and unfaltering. Just…you, your love that leaves him comfortable and unsuspecting, and Astarion half expects to wake up; to find himself still stuck in Cazador’s dungeon so broken he resorted to hallucinations for some semblance of comfort. But the pair of eyes in front of him, twinkling in passion as they surveyed him, are too expressive to be an illusion. Everything feels too real, too raw, to be a dream.

“You have no idea how happy you make me, Astarion,” and your declaration is conclusive, spoken as if the only truth you know.  

For once, he completely believes you. 

His psych doesn’t wrestle with his irrational belief that you’re being untrue, that he isn’t enough for you, because you choose him. Even after he deceived you, even after all of the emotional back and forth because he is so fearful, so damaged, you still choose him despite his faults and imperfections. He sees you when he closes his eyes, you worry his days when you’re away from him, and sometimes he just wants to crack open his ribcage to make space for you. There’s no need for his heart; it doesn't fucking work, blood no longer flows through his veins yet it’s the very thing he depends on to satiate this damned bestial hunger, so it has no place inside of him where you should be.

But, you’re here. Holding him, loving him and offering your devotion as it thrums between your fingers, sculpting the shape of your lungs around the phonetics of his name like you need him to live, and it makes Astarion want to cry.

So, he does.

Your face doesn’t show panic, but you do bring him closer, cradling the back of his head as he snuggles into your neck and allows his tears to fall. His back is being rubbed in soothing circles, your touch gentle but solid, and Astarion thinks that right here and right now…

Everything will be okay.

[sysig]

Physical media is forever (Patreon)

[joemama-2]

aged up megumi

“you’re drunk.”

megumi’s head lifts up at the sudden sound of your voice. it’s funny how quick the action is too, like your voice immediately pulls his chin up as it speaks. even in a crowded room full of people who he doesn’t know and doesn’t want to know, he’ll find your voice. he always finds you. but right now, he’s not in a crowded room.

the night sky is pretty and the breeze causes you to shiver slightly. he should be shivering too considering he’s not even wearing a jacket, but maybe his senses are too wacky to even care. or maybe he’s just too focused on your presence. he’s sitting on some steps to whatever house, a stranger’s that he decided to rest on after his so called ‘friends’ left him there.

yuuji and nobara didn’t actually leave him. they just took his drunk ass out the car, while simultaneously texting you his location. and like the good friend(?) you are, you went. no questions asked. what you didn’t expect was to see megumi shitfaced. that was not on your bingo card.

back to the present, the small flush of his cheeks and hazy eyes make you want to physically coo at the sight. instead, you tilt your hair and raise a suspecting eyebrow at his prolonged silence. you hold back a scoff, usually it’s him being the serious one.

megumi lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “you’re here.”

you sigh. biting your lip for a second as you assess the situation. “i thought you were with yuuji and nobara.”

“i was.”

“then where are they?”

he simply shrugs. “they left. left me here.” he sees your confused expression, muttering—more like mumbling—a continued response. “told me to sit and wait. didn’t know i was waiting for you.”

ah. you’ll remember to scold those two later on. “i didn’t know i was coming to you either.”

there’s a small huff that escapes his pretty lips. “guess we’re both surprised.”

there’s a silence that follows. you want to sigh heavily, why he was drunk in the first place almost concerned you. megumi was always sober, always the DD, what was different about tonight that he decided to change that? never mind, you’re more focused on getting him back to the dorms.

your eyes travel back to him after looking up at the sky during your mental battle, but he’s still looking at you. he hasn’t stopped looking since you came, actually. his staring has always sorta freaked you out, made you feel naked even with clothes on. “thought you were on a date.”

you grimace at the reminder, but quickly push it away. you were on a date, but that’s the last thing you want to think about right now. “i was.” you settle with a vague answer. of course, he’ll pry.

“then why aren’t you there?”

“i left.”

“why?”

“for you, apparently.”

megumi’s heart really shouldn’t be doing somersaults right now. but he can’t help it. he knows it’s wrong, you’re just friends and friends don’t feel this way about each other. he hasn’t told you anything and he probably never will. hell, you probably don’t even feel the same way. and megumi is not going to handle your rejection well, which is why is he’ll forever admire from a distance.

but with each day, that distance seems to be growing smaller and smaller.

“how much did you drink?” your question interrupts him.

he debates on telling you the truth or a lie. but just as much as megumi stares, you observe. so, megumi can never,—no—will never lie to you. “few shots.”

“how many?” you prod, taking a small step closer.

“forgot.”

of course. if he forgot how much he drank, it must’ve been a lot. and megumi drinking is one thing, but him drinking a lot is another. now you’re even more concerned. with a small huff of air, you finally stand in front of him.

his head angled upwards to look at you while yours is down. his fingers twitch to reach out for you, but he somehow is holding back. well, he was holding back. for barely two seconds.

he can blame it on the alcohol later, his actions can have consequences for a future, sober him. right now he’s too focused on the way your fingers feel laced with his own, your smaller hand in his. you’re a little shocked by his boldness, but you don’t pull away.

maybe you should, because now megumi is getting ideas. ideas that you want him just as much as he wants you—

“are you okay?” your soft voice is laced with worry, eyebrows knitted together. your fingers just slightly tighten around his.

and he gulps down the lump in his throat. why he has one in the first place is a mystery to him. for a second, he feels like he can’t speak. when his voice finds him, it sounds different. “yeah.”

by the slurring of his words, you conclude it’s time to take him home. “cmon, let’s get you back.” your face scrunches up as you attempt to lift him up from the stairs. even in dry knees, megumi is helping you out, using as much strength he currently has to bring his body to a standing.

once he’s on his own two feet, you place one of his arms around your shoulders and walk to your car. it’s a small, but silent walk. there’s a bit of a challenge, having to balance him but also open the passenger side door.

“watch your head.” you murmur and he hums back as you place him down into the passenger seat, reaching over to buckle his belt.

your scent invades his nostrils and he suddenly feels the urge to cry. god, he’s never drinking again. once he’s buckled up, you pull back to get a better look at him.

you don’t like seeing him in such a state. a disheveled one. he looks small, vulnerable. the sight alone pulls at your heartstrings. “megumi?”

“hm?” his eyes are half-lidded, but he still finds it in him to meet your own. “i won’t throw up.”

there’s a breathy chuckle from you while you wipe some hair out of his eyes. “i know.”

he leans into your touch. your hand lingers longer than it should, savoring his skin against yours while he wishes this could last forever.

it doesn’t, of course. because you’re soon pulling away, closing the door, and getting into the car yourself.

the drive is once again quiet. you spare him a few glances along the way to make sure he’s still conscious. in the new few minutes, you’re at the school and parked.

you feel like you lost a few calories just from hauling him out the car and back to his dorm. over time, he’s leaned more of his weight on you, but you can’t chastise him for that.

his door is already unlocked as you twist the knob and it’s a great relief when you finally situate him in his bed. you sigh heavily and wipe a bead of sweat from your forehead. “i’ll get some water and a trash can, okay?”

“said ‘m not throwin’ up.”

“you don’t know that.”

you grab one of the bottled waters from his mini fridge you gifted him for christmas and the trash from his bathroom, placing it by the bed. “drink.” he groans as you lift his head up and gently coax the water into his mouth. once done, he’s laying back down.

sitting on the edge of his bed, watching him, you finally ask the burning question. “what happened tonight?”

he’s hesitating, you can tell. but of course, megumi can’t lie to you. so he looks at you again, deciding that maybe it’s okay if he comes clean. if this ruins your friendship, he’ll always be grateful for what you showed him. “you.”

your brows furrow. “what?”

he sighs. “you. where you were tonight.”

oh, it’s starting to click. “you mean my da—“

“don’t even say the word.” his hand soothes the pinch of his eyebrows. “it’ll make me sick.”

now, you want to laugh. really laugh. but you’ll hold back for now. “i thought you weren’t gonna be sick?”

“i am if i have to think about you and another guy.”

“he was a nobody.” your lips purse, confused as to why you’re even reassuring him in the first place.

“keep it that way.” his hand pulls away to give you a firm look. well, as firm as a drunk person could give.

strange butterflies flutter in your stomach and now you might be sick. “..why?”

there’s another pause before he says with finality. “cause…you have me.”

you have him. in what way? you want to ask, but he’s drunk and this is…more than likely a conversation you should be having when both parties are sober. so, you opt for a soft sigh. “i have you?”

“and i have you.” megumi murmurs back, his beautiful lashes beginning to flutter as the signs of exhaustion take over.

you smile, and so does he. although, it’s not as obvious as yours, you’re observant. so that smile means everything to you. he means everything to you. which is why…..

“go to sleep.” you whisper, bringing the covers up to his chin. “we’ll talk in the morning.”

[theorphicangel]

Sukuna told you to stop pinching his cheeks.

But you ignored him.

So Sukuna did what all King of Curses would do...

...he killed you.

joking...

in a blink, Sukuna has you pinned beneath him. Two of his arms lock your wrists above your head whilst his remaining arms are secured by your waist.

His grip is light, fingers barely digging into you yet it's enough to keep you from moving and most importantly...from pinching his cheeks.

"will you quit it!" his tone is rough, filled with frustration yet there are obvious gaps which keep it lighthearted to play along with you.

"or what?" you tease, not shying away from looking the king of curses in the eyes.

"I'll get Uraume to cook you next." he warns.

"bluff." you scoff. "plus they like me too much to get rid of me."

"I never bluff and Uraume is under my orders so they will do as I see fit."

"you like me too much."

"you're a pain in my ass."

"just one more," you pleaded attempting to wriggle out of Sukuna's grip yet it was to no avail." just one more pinch and I'll leave you alone forever."

"Now who's bluffing?" his eyes stared into you, a dead set of black pupils.

"please, I'll stay away from you forever" you whine, "so far you won't even see me."

Sukuna scoffs again, gritting his teeth. "even if we were parted by whole universes I think you would find some way to get to me and be a pain, a true nuisance in my life."

you tilt your head in consideration. That's probably the nicest thing he's said all year. "that's pretty romantic don't you think, 'kuna?"

"I do not. It is an inconvenience to me."

"I reckon you'll keep me around just like you do in this universe."

"I wouldn't count on it."

With the subject change, you don't fail to notice Sukuna's loosened grip. With all you can muster you attempt to wriggle against his body but as soon as you move you're pinned down again.

A small grin (most would have missed) appeared at Sukuna's lips whilst witnessing you stuggle.

"please, please, please, please, please-"

"no. Do you not know the definition of no?"

"just once, I swear. You won't see me for the rest of the day."

A deafening silence fills the room and Sukuna's eyes never leaves your own. There's pleading and desperation written in your eyes, so much so it makes him sick.

annoying brat.

"fine. but only once, you hear me?"

his tone is thick with warning and you nod obediently. "loud and clear."

Sukuna removes his restraint on your wrists before allowing you to reach up and cup his cheeks. You coo to yourself as your index finger and thumb pinch the fat of his cheek.

"so cute, 'kuna."

Sukuna growls and you feel his chest vibrate, almost like the purring of a cat. You'd never say it aloud (as you value your life) but you truly like to compare Sukuna to a cat. he loves the affection deep down, that's why he always comes back to you.

"s'enough."

Sukuna swats your hand away but before doing so, your free hand comes up to his other cheek and repeats the action. "one more."

a loud gruff comes from Sukuna in frustration as you pinch his cheeks again, yet it's only for a mere second before your wrists are caught in his large rough hands.

"you said one more, you insolent brat." his dark eyes pierce into you. For a normal person that glare would be enough to stop their heart but you merely glance back with a cheeky smile across your lips.

"You should know by now that I don't stick to my words, 'kuna"

"get out of my sight."

[weepingchronicles]

Can I request a yandere viktor before he becomes the herald of machines and since after his transformation the love for the reader still exists, maybe it has even become a little dark

of course! thank you for your request. i am not a league fan although i watch arcane– so some of this may be a bit off.

❝yandere!viktor x gn! reader❞

🔩.𖥔 ݁ ˖✒️ Viktor falls in love fast, almost too quickly without even knowing someone's name yet although he does not fall in love very often. Or at all. But when he does it gets intense very quickly.

🔩.𖥔 ݁ ˖✒️ He is almost inclined to dismiss you. You're just someone else. You don't understand his work and he doesn't want to risk any bystanders getting their stupid selves in the way.

🔩.𖥔 ݁ ˖✒️ But something changes one day, it could be something small like discovering a common interest between you two or a kind gesture. Anything can get this boy hooked. Or perhaps it was something bigger. It took you actually getting hurt to realize his care for you. You weren't just another cog in the machines, you were a whole mechanism.

🔩.𖥔 ݁ ˖✒️ After that Viktor tried his best to ignore you. He didn't want you getting hurt anymore because of him. His intentions are often good but he doesn't realize that his actions could be more harm than help.

🔩.𖥔 ݁ ˖✒️ And so he pushes you away to isolate himself, believing he is protecting you.

🔩.𖥔 ݁ ˖✒️ After he becomes herald of machines his love for you has not only heightened but has become worse. He pushed you away thinking he was doing something good, no, no. That was all wrong. Now he sees he has the power to fix you too, fix everyone. He is going to save everyone.

🔩.𖥔 ݁ ˖✒️ Depending on the reader, he definitely is going to bring you with him to his glorious evolution. You can try to run and fight him off but he will never really stop. You are the centerpiece of his entire plan, he wants you most of all by him, forever.

🔩.𖥔 ݁ ˖✒️ One side of him also hates you, he hates his tragically human love for you that he will do anything in his mind that will get rid of it. You just dying won't do, the only thing that will satisfy him is having you with him forever.

[levisjinchuriki]

forever yours

summary: you and gojo have been separated for six months due to his troubles. you try to juggle co-parenting your young son and moving on, but gojo makes it obvious he’s not ready to give you up on your relationship yet

warning: just angst

word count: 2.3k

the separation of you and gojo was hard. you had devoted so much of your life, time and energy to him only to feel like you weren’t a priority. it was a terrible feeling you could push past during the first few years together, but after your wedding and the birth of your son, you started to realize how unfair it was. 

gojo’s job kept him away from home a lot, leaving you to take care of your son, haru. when he did manage to get some time off- things just didn’t feel the same as they once were. he always seemed distracted. 

he still loved you, of course. you were the only woman in his life he had ever truly been in love with. that will never change. and he didn’t realize how much he was slacking until you served him divorce papers one night- looking so defeated. it caught him off guard, and he was surprised that you had taken such a step. 

you were steadfast as gojo tried to convince you out of your decision. and when you didn’t budge he realized how many mistakes he’d made leading up to this moment. he couldn’t blame you, but he also couldn’t force you to take him back. 

he didn’t sign the papers. there’s no way in hell he’d do that. delusional or not, he’d convinced himself you’d be together again and going through the motions of a divorce would just complicate everything. he did reach a compromise with you, though. he was forced to accept the reality that he had lost you as his wife. gojo had enough money to take care of both you and haru so you could focus on raising him without having to work. per your request to live separately, gojo moved into an apartment on the other side of town. 

and when gojo put the last of his belongings in the moving truck haru ran up to him, sobbing as his small body clutched at gojo’s legs. 

“don’t go daddy” haru cried against him. it broke gojo’s heart. not only was he losing you as his wife, but his actions had torn his family apart. haru, the light of his life, was forced to be in the middle of his parent’s separation. it wasn’t fair to him and the guilt ate at gojo everyday.

your son loved his father, and if there was one thing gojo prioritized- it was haru. 

you had to turn away as tears slipped down your cheeks. it was almost too much for you to handle. you tried to stick through your marriage for haru’s sake, but you couldn’t keep up the act anymore. and although you were the one pushing him away, it hurt so much to see satoru leave. but it was the best decision for you, both mentally and emotionally. 

he had moved out six months ago now and still, the house felt all too empty.

—

the sound of Haru’s footsteps echo as he moves from room to room, looking for something to occupy his mind. he's become used to his dad not always being around, but he’s just a boy and he still needs his father in his life. gojo is still present, though only on the weekends when he has most of his free time. you would never completely take either of them away from each other. 

you sit on the couch, staring blankly at the screen in front of you- not sure what you had been watching as you aren’t paying attention. haru had been quiet tonight, spending most of his time drawing or playing alone. he’s almost four, now. he’s bright and everything you need. 

you smile as haru walks into the living room, clutching his favorite stuffed animal and rubbing his eyes. 

“mommy,” he yawns softly, “can i call daddy?”.

even after all these months the question is like a knife to your heart. you’ve tried to protect him from the worst of the separation, but the longing in his eyes is something you can’t ignore. you nod, forcing a smile. “of course, baby”. 

the phone rings a few times before gojo answers. his voice always has a warmth to it that makes you melt every time. 

“hey,” he greets. “is it bedtime?”. haru would talk to his dad every night before bed, a ritual that he tries his hardest not to break, even if he is busy with work. 

“yeah, he wants to speak to you”, you say.

haru’s small hands eagerly hold the phone to his ear, his face lights up at the sound of his father’s voice. “daddy! it’s me!”, he says excitedly. your heart melts at how much he loves his father.

gojo’s tone immediately softens. “hi, sweet boy. how’s my little guy doing?” he coos. gojo cherishes every moment he has with haru. it means so much to him to talk to him every night and make sure he’s okay, even if he isn’t around anymore. 

haru babbles about his day and gojo eagerly listens. he loves it when his son gets excited. 

haru clutches the phone tightly after he finishes, suddenly becoming upset. his small voice trembles slightly at his next sentence. “i miss you, daddy. when are you coming home?”. 

the silence on the other end of the line is heavy. gojo’s breathing is a mixture of sadness and regret. he wishes he could be there with the both of you. 

“i miss you too”. he’s not sure how to answer the little boy’s question. it all depends on you and if you are willing to sort through your issues together or not. he hopes you will decide to, but your relationship hasn’t improved much since he moved out. he’s not even sure if you still wear your ring. 

you can see haru’s eyes welling up with tears as he tries to hold back his emotions. 

“why can’t you come home? i want you here with us.”. he didn’t understand why his father had left in the first place. he’s too young to understand the concept of separation, even though you and gojo have explained it to him before. in his mind, if you both love each other then you should all be living together as one. he can’t grasp that even if you love someone so much, sometimes you have to let them go. 

gojo clears his throat. “i know, precious. things are complicated right now, but i promise i’m working on it”. whether he’s successful or not, gojo intends to try to mend things with you in any way he can.

“i’m coming to pick you up tomorrow and we can spend the whole weekend together. how does that sound?”. he tries to cheer haru up. 

the boy sniffles and wipes his eyes. “okay, daddy. i love you”. 

“i love you too, haru,” gojo says softly. “more than anything”. 

after a few more exchanged words and assurances, haru hands the phone back to you before climbing in your lap. you rub his back comfortingly as you bring the phone to your ear. 

“you still there?”, gojo asks. without needing to mask his tone for his son, you can hear just how defeated he sounds. 

you confirm you’re still on the line. the conversation is short- you and gojo discussing when to meet at the park tomorrow for him to pick up haru. in the last few months you’ve stopped having personal conversations with him- just trying to focus on co-parenting. it was easier for you that way.

you look down at your son and brush his hair from his face. he’s a spitting image of his father- same ghostly white locks and stunning eyes that held all the potential of the world within them. every time you looked at him, it was like seeing a smaller, more innocent version of satoru. and that made it harder to move on.

“daddy loves you very much. we’ll see him soon, okay?”, you assure him with a kiss on the head. 

haru nods against your shoulder, his small frame cuddled up to you. “okay, mommy”.

you hold him tightly, wishing you can offer more than just words of comfort. the house is still big and empty, but you try to fill it with all the love and reassurance you could muster. for haru’s sake, you hope that someday soon, this will all be behind you.

—

haru’s laughter rings out as he chases a butterfly through the empty park, the pure sound filling the air with a sweetness that tugs at your heart. you watch him, torn between the joy of his innocence and the ache of the life you once dreamed of with satoru. the butterfly flutters just out of haru's reach, and he giggles, his happiness a stark contrast to the storm of emotions brewing inside you.

the crunch of footsteps on gravel snaps you out of your thoughts, and though you don’t look up, you know who it is. satoru’s presence is unmistakable, a force that commands attention even without a word. he slides onto the bench beside you, close enough that his warmth seeps into your skin without touching you. he watches haru play for a moment before turning his attention to you. 

“i missed you”. his voice is sweet like honey, the words slipping out effortlessly. it’s that natural charm, the way he makes even the simplest phrases sound enchanting, that drew you to him in the first place. 

you turn to face him, finally meeting his gaze. those damn blue eyes–deep and endless like the ocean—have always been your weakness, pulling you in no matter how hard you try to resist. they hold a mix of emotions, swirling with the memories of a past you can’t quite let go of. his eyes search yours, and for a moment, it feels like time stops, as if the world around you fades away, leaving just the two of you and the unspoken feelings hanging in the air.

“what we had was a life full of complications,” you respond, not allowing yourself to get pulled into his trap. “you’re still in that world, satoru. and i can’t be a part of it anymore. haru can’t be a part of it”. 

his jaw tightens as a flicker of determination flashes in his eyes. “just because you’re pushing me away doesn’t mean i’m gonna give up”, his voice is low, laced with a quiet resolve.  “i haven’t given up on us”. the weight of his words hangs between you, thick with emotion, as if he’s daring you to believe him, to see the fight still left in him.

your heart aches at his words. you want to believe him, to let yourself fall back into the warmth of his promises. there is still so much love in your heart for satoru, but love alone isn’t enough to mend the things that had broken you apart. the dangers he faced daily, the secrets he kept hidden away, the growing distance that had slowly stretched between you until it became an uncrossable chasm—it had all become too much. the memories of what you once had clash with the reality of what you've lost, leaving you torn between the past and the painful truth of the present.

“don’t make this harder than it already is.” you plead, feeling your resolve weaken. he reaches out, gently taking your hand in his. 

i’m not ready to let you go,” he admits, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “i don’t know if i’ll ever be.”

the confession hangs between you, heavy and unresolved. it would be so easy to slip back into old habits, to let him back in and pretend that everything could be okay again. but you deserve more than that. and deep down, you know the truth. satoru isn’t ready to change, and you aren’t ready to keep living in a world where he could be taken away at any moment. the weight of his unfulfilled promises and the uncertainty of your future press down on you, a reminder of the painful reality you can’t escape.

“haru needs stability,” you say softly, pulling your hand away. “he needs a life that doesn’t revolve around waiting for his father to come home in one piece”. gojo doesn’t miss a beat

“and what about you?” satoru asks, his voice laced with a vulnerability that he rarely showed. “what do you need?”

for a moment, silence envelops you both, the weight of the question hanging heavily in the air, unspoken yet profoundly understood. you look at him, at the man who once meant everything to you, and feel the tears well up in your eyes.

you need to move on. it’s been half a year, and you’re still in the same place, still foolishly hoping that satoru will change overnight. still waiting for him to burst through the door, fall to his knees, and apologize for everything that’s gone wrong in your relationship. the reality of your stagnant situation presses down on you, a painful reminder that hope alone isn’t enough to mend the fractures that have grown too deep.

haru’s laughter rings out again, drawing both of your eyes to him as he runs toward you, blissfully unaware of the tension between his parents. satoru stands up as haru reaches him, lifting him into his arms with a grin that makes your heart clench. he showers haru’s chubby cheeks with kisses, telling him how much he’s missed him this week, making haru giggle with delight. Satoru is such a good father, and that only makes everything harder.

“ready to go?” he asks, holding haru close. the boy nods, and satoru tells him to say goodbye to you.

“bye, mommy!” haru waves enthusiastically. you kiss his cheek and tell him you’ll pick him up soon.

“i’ll see you sunday?” satoru confirms, his gaze searching yours.

you nod, unable to trust your voice. with one last wave at haru you watch as they make their way toward his car. as they disappear from view, the weight of what you’re leaving behind settles heavily over you. moving on was never easy, but with satoru, it feels almost impossible.

----

>> ch 2

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ thank you for reading!! everyone is welcome to leave feedback and requests in my inbox!! please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist! ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

[shrimpybbq]

a timeline of rafe cameron and obx actress!reader’s character’s relationship (+ their real life one) pt 2

season 2: the yearning

season 2 is where rafe's obsession with iris really grows

he's constantly wondering about her, and how she feels about him. he's so convinced that she hates him and will never speak to him again, but he has this feeling that she won't report him

after john b and sarah 'died', iris spends more of her free time with the pogues. she comforts jj, and often seems to end up bailing him out of trouble

but they don't know that rafe's managed to get her phone number, and he keeps sending her messages trying to explain what happened on the tarmac - she doesn't respond

he even tries to go to her work, but she's not working that day

as rafe spirals, he genuinely feels she's the only one who would be able to understand him

he messages her before he goes to the bahamas

r: "hey, i'm gonna be gone for a few days, but i still really need to talk to you, ok?"

r: "please, i need to explain"

r: "just give me a chance to explain"

r: "please"

iris has him under his first initial in her phone, just in case any of the pogues happen to see her notifications. finally, she decides to respond, if only to understand more (and to get him to stop texting her)

i: "ok"

rafe literally shouts with joy seeing her response, no matter how dry it is. she's finally acknowledged him

while he's away, iris goes to see barry. her mom has been getting worse, and in a way, barry understands what she's going through. he's surprisingly good to talk to and the pair end up smoking together more than once, venting about their lives

in his deluded state, rafe truly thinks he will be able to win iris over with the gold. he's dreaming about paying for her mom's medical bills, winning her favour and looking after iris, living their happy little lives together forever

iris and rafe finally talk at tannyhill, rafe pleading that he was just trying to protect his dad. surprisingly, she listens intently, and lets out some small 'hmms' and 'mhms'. they get back to neutral ground, though she's still torn between what to do, but inside, she knows rafe shouldn't go to prison for a mistake

side note: ward oversees the pair talking, noting his son's wildly erratic hand gestures and decides to keep an eye on whatever is going on between the two

they're good for a few days, and then the pogues return to kildare with a very much alive sarah and john b, and everything changes once again

iris was so busy working that she hadn't had much to do with the gang, until jj texts her that john b had been arrested, and that rafe had tried to shoot them all - safe to say she's disappointed

oh but she's so mad when she hears of him trying to drown sarah, and she fully ices him out again

rafe kidnapping iris was not his finest idea, but she won’t listen to him after she hears and he’s just so mad. he’s got her in his car on the side of the road, just trying to get her to listen but she keeps telling him she “knows what he did”

rafe doesn't register what he's done until the sound of her sobs cut through his internal monologue, shamefully apologising and dropping her home, not even trying to say anything more

he’s just mean mean mean in this season bc he's hurt, but also he wants iris so bad and when she won’t even look at him, he can't control his actions

iris hears from the pogues that there is a warrant for his arrest and can't help feel concerned for him, only to be both shocked and concerned at the sight of ward cameron blowing himself up, her being the one to console sarah on the pier

everything is awkward between the pogues now, but it only gets worse once they see the texts on iris's phone following rafe's release from jail, him asking to see her...

they completely shut her out, refusing to even speak to her, and it only serves to push her further into rafe's (extremely willing) arms

he wants her to stay with him for the next few days, unknowingly about to bring her into all the drama with the cross

iris and rafe end up kissing for the first time just before he manages to get the cross for himself, and from then on, it's on between them - they're all over each other. think making out against the wall, in bed, on the couch

they both understand each other, able to see through the tough facade they put on and be vulnerable around each other. at their core, they’re just two hurt kids clinging on to each other

rafe literally thinks he will combust if she ever tries to leave him after he got a taste

unfortunately for him, he tries to get her to come along with him to guadeloupe, but she refuses

"Rafe, I can't leave my mom…. she can't survive without me," Iris whispered.

"No, no, c'mon, we can go together and I'll make sure she's got a carer and everything, the best medical treatment, ok? I just - I just need you with me for this," Rafe pleaded, desperation seeping through his tone.

"I'm sorry Rafe, but I can't."

and just like that, the beginnings of their relationship crumble, leaving rafe feeling betrayed, hurt and angry, spiralling as he lost something he barely had, and leaving iris all alone on kildare once the pogues get lost at sea, vulnerable and hurting

season 2: behind the scenes

heheheheehhehe

season 2 is where rafe and iris get closer, and the flow on effects are felt between drew and obx actress!reader

the kisses they share on screen are so steamy it has fans freaking out, especially at the quick glimpses they get of their tongues melding together. even people from outside the fandom start resharing videos of the kiss with hashtags like #wantthis #hot #menext

like i'm talking hands in hair and 'rafe' gripping her waist like he's about to be torn away, pulling away panting, red lips, etc.

drew and obx actress!reader had both spent time looking forward to the kiss, each secretly reminiscing on the kiss at jd's party. neither objected when they had to redo the take multiple times

the lingering touches shared between their characters are also picked up on, with rafe often touching iris and keeping her close by the end of the season

drew and obx actress!reader spent more time together this season working to develop their relationship after the directors told them more of the series plans, growing their bond even more

the attention on season 2 is greater this time around, with more fans and more people interested in the actors personal lives

obx actress!reader posts a few behind the scenes pictures, but nothing that really gets tongues wagging

it's a picture posted by madison bailey that does, with drew and obx actress!reader lying next to each other on a yacht, the pair side by side as they appear deep in conversation. fans go crazy from all angles, from the tiny bikini she was wearing to drew only in his swim trunks

the pics of them getting clingy and touchy later on in the evening don't ever make it out however….

the cast just sigh, having flashbacks to the 'friendly kisses' the pair always seem to share after a few drinks

in interviews, fans learn of obx actress!reader spending christmas at drew's and they just go wild, convinced the pair are in a secret relationship

with rafe and iris becoming more important characters in season 2, interviewers are lining up to film with the two of them alone, and for the few that manage, the views on the clip are sky high

it's literally just drew and obx actress!reader flirting and giggling the whole time with each other

obx actress!reader 100% simps for drew, complimenting his new look to the interviewer and saying he looks so handsome. drew can only blush and look down at his hands, all shy and cute

ok but lets talk about the bloopers!

it's the scene where they're in the car, rafe begging iris to listen to him after trying to drown sarah, and drew is waving his hands around wildly and accidentally hits her in the head. drew is instantly all over her, tenderly brushing her hair away from her head, checking in on her and apologising so much. it's quiet, but the microphones pick up on drew whispering "are you ok, baby? 'm so sorry"

but yet, they're not in a relationship??? and then drew starts filming hellraiser and people become convinced he's dating odessa??? and everyone is just so confused (including drew and obx actress!reader)

but then? there's pictures posted by paparazzi of drew and obx actress!reader together in new york, seeming far too close to be platonic and cuddling up against each other? queue even more confused fans

hehehe

Q: if i were to give obx actress!reader a love interest to spice things up and build some more angst, who would you want to see???

[canihaveacalmtime]

A mafia boss like him never relies on anyone, even his right-hand man. He's the solo wolf in a big pack, the person whose ego is just too much to handle.

Eter always tell himself that he never fails so why is he on the verge of death after an assonate attempt and is being treated by a small child like you?

You are an orphan who happened to get lost during a day out with your teacher, you call her mama, and other kids. Well, you just also happened to stumble upon Eter's injured body in the alley way and decided to help him with the medic kit you have in your bag.

When Eter regain his consciousness fully, he asked if you have a phone that can call. You hand him the phone that mama gave you as he calls his men to come get him. The moment you got your phone back was when you heard your mama calling your name.

"So your name is (Y/N)."

You reply before running out of the alley way.

"Yes, please get better and stay safe, mister."

--------------------------

After everything has calmed down, Eter begins thinking about the new emotions after his encounter with you.

He felt like he was cared with love when you treat his injuries, usually, he would treat his wounds himself because he doesn't want to look weak but after being treated for the first time, his thoughts kind of changed.

Not to mention how fragile but warm your little hands were, you're also very thoughtful too despite your age.

It's not like Eter didn't had a thought of having a child, he's scared that he cannot take up the responsibility of taking care of a child and the life he lives in, he doesn't even sure if his child would survive to say the least.

He also never received love from anyone before, even his birth parents. So raising a child? That's the impossible mission for a mafia boss.

But his courage soon raises up when he meets you again in the coffee shop that he always go to, but you were with your mama this time. The shop was rather vacant at the early morning so as you turn around a saw him, you recognized him immediately and give him a small wave.

Seeing your mama is busy on her phone, you went over to Eter's table to say hi and ask him if he's okay now, he nods. Notice the worker is bringing the food out, you only have time to wave a quick goodbye before helping your mama carry the food bags and leave.

Eter then determined to know everything about you, starting from asking his right-hand man to gather information about you. He just can't help but really feel attached to you despite only met a few times.

Knowing that you're an orphan kind of relief him because now he knows that he can adopt you.

From then on, if you notice your surroundings a little more, you'd notice a kind of feeling that you're being watch. But don't be scared, it's just Eter's men ordered to keep you safe whenever to go outside, and they will report back things that you do along with some pictures to Eter.

The main reason why he can't adopt you yet is because his power isn't wide enough to protect you but when it does, he will immediately come to the orphanage and literally snatch you back to his place.

--------------------------

As a first time parent, his actions might be a bit unprofessional at times but he always make sure that you always have your favourite meals and sleep tight every night.

He would also sometimes watch you sleep or just bluntly sleep with you, you don't complain because who would reject a giant body pillow.

Whenever you came back from school with small bruises or in a sobbing state, just know that the ones that hurt you won't be seen the next day at school.

Some nights, while sleeping beside you, watching your small form sleeping, he thought that what if you grow too fast and when you're an adult, you'd leave him or what if you don't want to rely on him anymore. And guess what, he really did thought about some methods to keep you like this forever but soon shrug it off as his first ever goal when adopting you was to see you grow after all.

Eter also wants your full attention on him whenever he's with you and if anyone dares to stole your attention away, he will give them a deadly glare that they wouldn't want to see it again.

Even though he's a first time dad, he is trying his best. Even a little possessive and protective of you, it's because he loves you so much. To him, you're his light in this dull life, the brush that paint colours into his picture and the reason why he's still going.

Although, don't try to leave him, you wouldn't want to know what's the worst can happen and let me tell you, it's not going to be bright at the least.

--------------------------------------------------

A/N: I wrote this in the middle of the night so please don't mind about the mistakes 😭

[lunajay33]

Precious🩵

Summary: Reader gets separated from Daryl at the start and finds a farm with a wonderful family, she finds out she’s pregnant and one thing leads to another and a new group settles onto the farm

•Masterlist•

I waited for Daryl at our little house in the small town we grew up in, I had been gone to the city for the day when everything happened, I was able to find a car and drive back home praying that Daryl would be there waiting for me but I knew it would be a long shot, I waited for a few days until the food ran out and decided if I was ever going to find him again then I’ll have to go find him myself

So I pack up my bag with essentials, clothes, water, snacks that were left over and weapons for Daryl’s hunting collection, I drove for what felt like forever no signs of human life only blood and rotting corpses who some how took over the earth

I came to the interstate seeing the cars upon cars piled up blocking my way so I turned around hoping to find a back road to get around when I spotted a sign “Greene’s Farm” if the farm was still standing maybe it could have some food or more water, as I pulled up the drive way to a large white farm house people filtered out, it felt surreal to see people, live people

I got out of the car as the came down the stairs, it was an older man a girl around my age and a younger blonde, then what seemed to be an older couple and a younger boy

“How’d you find this place?” The man with the white hair asked

“I’ve been on the road looking for my husband, I got turned around in the road and saw your farm sign, I just need some rest” I say as I run my hand down my belly

When I went to the city when everything happened I found out I was pregnant and I was over the moon about finally starting a family with Daryl but now I’m scared, scared about delivery, this baby never meeting their wonderful father

The man noticed my movement and his harsher demeanor changed to one of pity

“Come dear we’ll get something set up for you”

They let me settle in the spare room after feeding me some eggs and fresh fruit, the house was cozy and they are lovely people but I can’t help that feeling in the pit of my stomach, the feeling I always got when Daryl would be gone too long, he always soothed me even if he didn’t talk much he showed me comfort with actions of love and care

Whenever he scrounged up enough money he’d buy me little gifts, he got me a silver necklace with a bow on it which I never take off, I never got a wedding ring because I refused and said we should keep the money for the future and that I don’t need some diamond to show my love for him

“Knock knock” I look up to the doorway and see Maggie standing there with a wide smile

“Daddy wanted me to check on you, well both of you”

“Oh yes I think we’re okay, I only found out about two weeks ago”

“That’s when you first had symptoms?” She asked as she sat next to me on the bed

“Yeah, the nausea and a little bump”

“I’d say you’re about two months pregnant then, signs only show up later, does the father know?” I shock my head feeling my heart clench in pain

“I never got the chance, I don’t even know where he is but somehow in my heart I believe we will find our ways back to each other” she ran a comforting hand up my back and smiled

“You’ll find him sweetheart you never know what might happen!” She said before she left the room giving me space to finally rest

It’s been 2 months now on the farm and it was peaceful for some reason this farm has gone untouched from the world that’s filled with death, I haven’t stopped looking for Daryl, every other day I’d search farther and farther out but there was no sign, as I was walking back to the farm I saw two men and Otis running through the field, I got back to the house and Maggie told me of everything that was happening, Otis accidentally shot the boy who Hershel was working on now

I sat outside on the steps as the young boys father came out obviously in shock covered in blood, he sat next to me completely disheveled, I took a rag I had in my pocket and wiped some blood he smeared on his face

“Hershel is a good surgeon and a great man, your son is in good hands” my words seemed to calm him down and what he needed right now was a distraction it seems

“I remember when my wife found out she was pregnant with Carl, we were young but I was excited this little life was gonna be born, so how far along are you?”

“About 4 months now, I’m not sure if it’s a boy or girl, I got separated from the father when I found out but I’ve kept looking, I know he’s out there, he’s a stubborn man but god is he strong and pretty smart too”

“Yeah I know the type, got a man like that back in our group, we lost a little girl and he’s been looking for her day and night”

“Maggie should be back soon she must have found your group by now, it’ll be okay” almost as if she heard me I see her horse ride up the field with cars following, then I hear the rumble of a motorcycle and it brought back so many memories I had with Daryl, when he’d work on his bike I’d sit with him, when we’d go for a drive at night together, moments I kept dear to my heart, zoned out in nostalgic thought I didn’t notice the group coming to the steps

“Y/n?” The grumble to the voice that I fell in love with, I look up to see him standing there just as the day I last saw him still as handsome, I couldn’t stand up fast enough before I was pulled off the stairs and into his arms

“I can’t believe it’s you, I looked everywhere, I missed you so much Daryl” I cried into his shoulder as his group was most likely watching this moment unwind

“It’s me sunshine, I found ya” he pulled back and we just looked into each others eyes for some time before he looked me over stopping abruptly on my belly

He opened his mouth but he seemed to be at a lose for words

“It’s yours if that’s what you’re wondering?”

“My baby?” He asked placing his hands on either side of my bump

“Yeah our lil baby Dixon”

After everything settled down and people set up tents I decided to stay with Daryl since they were using my room for Carl, I was sitting across from him on my sleeping bag and he couldn’t take his eyes off my bump

“Do you want to feel?” He thought for a moment before he nodded, I lifted my ivory dress just above my belly feeling his warm hands caress my bare skin

“How did this happen?”

“Well remember that night you came back from the bar with Merle and I was wearing my pink sundress you love” realization dawned as a blush crossed his face

“Yeah that’s how it happened” I laugh missing how easily it is to embarrass him

“Where have you been?” I asked as we laid next to each other

“Found a camp outside of Atlanta with Merle, idiot went and got himself stuck on a roof don’t know where he is now, then we went to the CDC and that was a bust then that leads to now finally some sanity with ya”

“I’m just glad you didn’t get bite, the farms been secure so I haven’t had any troubles”

“And ya never have to with me ‘round”

It’s been 6 months and Daryl and I had a beautiful 1 month old baby girl, it was painful giving birth but with Daryl by my side it made it a bit easier, hopeful

She was a wonderful little thing, barely fussy, brown hair light blue eyes just like Daryl, and he was over the moon about her he praised me over and over for giving him such a gift he treasured

We were able to move into the house to make it more comfortable for the three of us, we named her Lily because Carl thought it suited her perfectly so we just went with it

I walked into the room seeing Daryl sat on the bed with her in his arms her little hands reaching to pull on his now grown out hair, I sat beside them curling up to Daryl’s side

“She loves you so much D”

“Not as much as I love her”

“You know I think she’s your favourite”

“Nah she loves us both sunshine, I love ya”

“I love you too Daryl, forever”

[fortheloveoflatinum]

Rewatching Star Trek DS9: Past Tense (The Bell Riots)

The thing I love most about time travel episodes is that the future hangs in such delicate balance. Also - the gentle reassurance that we matter. You matter. I matter. This isn't utilitarian calculus; it's a philosophy that holds that we all have immense intrinsic value and are all capable of shifting and shaping the course of the future.

Spock: [to Kirk] Save her, do as your heart tells you to do, and millions will die who did not die before. - Spock in the TOS Episode, "City on the Edge of Forever."

And Kirk, despite everything - despite his love for this woman, despite what his heart tells him to do - knows that in order to save the Federation and the future he has had such a magnificent hand in creating; if he wants a just and equitable future to be forged, it all hinges upon one small, 'insignificant' woman - it serves to show that the good of the many outweighs the good of the few - Kirk lets her die to save those millions of people - but also proves that the good of the few - or the one - can indeed outweigh the good of the many.

It's a simple, human truth that we are all significant in some way. When we go, it's not what we leave behind that matters - it's how we lived.

Captain Picard: Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. But I rather believe than time is a companion who goes with us on the journey, and reminds us to cherish every moment because they'll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important how we lived. - Picard in the movie Star Trek: Generations.

And in the DS9 episode Past Tense: Parts I and II, this fundamental truth is also proven true. That one person - any person, every person - matters. Not because of the wealth they've accumulated, not because of their fancy house or their six-figure salary or their corner office - but because they smiled at a crying child, because they sparked hope in the hopeless, because they were kind, because they were generous with their time and because they lived to serve the greater good.

Life. It's not about what you own - it's about who you touch. Even transported to a barbaric 21st century too much like our own - with just the clothes on their back - even their combadges stolen - Doctor Bashir and Captain Sisko touch people. Their presence changes things. So much so that the ripples of their actions change the future for every Federation member, because Starfleet is gone and all that remains of it is the crew of the Defiant.

I remember the Ray Bradbury story, "The Sound of Thunder," with its eminent metaphor of stepping on a butterfly and altering the future. But what if we step on a butterfly in the present? Surely, the future is altered. Everything we do - matters. Everything we do has ripples across the timeline of the future. None of us are islands unto ourselves. This tangled web we weave, it's a tapestry and its threads are those of the people we've loved, everyone who we've ever known and whether we were cruel or kind to them matters.

What can you do? Start by smiling. A smile from a friendly stranger can save a life.

Michael Burnham [to Spock]: “There’s a whole galaxy of people out there who will reach for you. You have to let them. Find that person who seems farthest from you and reach for them.” - Michael Burnham in that one Discovery episode where they go to the future and also there's an epic war going on in the background

Reach for someone, anyone; everyone. Only then can they reach back for you.

Be kind, to the Earth, to each other, to all creatures. Don't step on butterflies or kill bees.

What can you do? Watch Star Trek, and live by Starfleet values. Find a moral compass, and let it guide you. Remember that science and education are the answer, just as much as peace on Earth and - eventually - beyond.

[livelaughloveluffy]

confession - black leg sanji

a/n: i wrote this fic to a very particular song because it's just so sanji coded to me. here's the song!! literally since i heard this song, it just plays in my head to every little romantic scenario my brain can conjure, and i can't help but share it since i feel it fits this fic particularly well.

nothing but fluff here 💗

---------------------------------------------------------------------

it was much harder for black-leg sanji to recall a time he wasn't in love with you, than when he was. the very first time your eyes fell onto his, he couldn't help but feel that this was something different. something special.

he couldn't help but feel his eyes follow you, his body leaning in closer to your every word and movement, his mind nonstop thinking about you. he was so deep into this infatuation that he almost couldn't bare to talk to you, he was a million time more nervous than he ever had been talking to other girls, his mind so muddled with the millions of possible different reactions you could have to him, that he didn't even want to attempt at all.

the very first time you ever talked to the blonde-haired chef, he hadn't even noticed you were there. it had been late at night, he had just finished with deep cleaning the kitchen, and some of the prep for tomorrow's breakfast, when he decided that he wanted some fresh air and a cigarette under the stars.

halfway through his first drag, he heard a small voice to his right, "it's a nice night, isn't it?" caught off guard by the sound of your sweet gentle voice, a faint blush flushed in his cheeks as he slightly choked on the smoke of his cigarette, once he was able to collect himself enough, he replied "what are you doing up so late, mon chéri?"

"i don't know.. i just... its been awhile since i joined the crew and i still feel like i haven't really gotten to know you yet.. plus, it really is a beautiful night." you answered, with a small smile on your lips.

the sea breeze was especially chilly tonight, and sanji couldn't just idly stand by as he watched your arms beginning to develop goosebumps "here mon chéri, take my coat, i can't have you catching a cold. or can i offer you a cup of tea?"

your cheeks turning a slight shade of pink, pulling his suit coat tighter around your shoulders, with an adorable smile you answered "i could go for a cup of tea."

•♡•

your first chance encounter lead to many others... you started to wake up earlier than usual, joining him in the kitchen, making small conversation as he prepped and cooked breakfast, staying late past dinner to keep him company as he cleaned, as these small rituals began to blossom into routine, sanji couldn't stop his heart from swooning the more he was around you.

any time in your presence was something that the cook cherished so deeply. replaying the moment your eyes met his in the room, the small smile on your lips, over and over again in his mind. there wasn't a second that he wasn't utterly consumed with the thought of you. and the more he thought about you, the more he couldn't get enough of you.

the way your eyes crinkled when you laughed and smiled, the sound of your sweet soft voice, your warm hands whenever they gently touched his arm or back, everything about you made him feel weak in the knees.

he was utterly, completely, and entirely, in love with you.

•♡•

however, unbeknownst to the curly-browed cook, you too started to feel the same way.

the very first time you two really got to talk had forever changed the way you viewed sanji. his gentle raspy voice, his ocean-blue eyes so full of warmth and passion. you could truly feel the love within every action he does for others.

and it wasn't just that, his passion was truly inspiring. his dedication to cooking and the crew was enough to make your heart melt. the attention to detail he put into everything he did, his soft hands delicate as he prepared and placed food, his intense look of focus, and the warm solid smile he had when he was truly satisfied with his work, how could you not love him?

•♡•

if sanji was going to come clean about how he felt, he was going to do it right. it was just in his favor that the sunny happened to take a small pit-stop, everyone needing some time off the ship, jumped at the chance to explore. except you and sanji.

sanji was in charge of watching over the ship.. and for whatever reason you had decided to stay too, if he recalled correctly you said something about wanting some alone time. he knew luffy and the others would never pass up for a chance at some local cuisine, so he could count on just preparing dinner for the two of you.

the curly-browed cook's heart danced and fluttered with the opportunity, he could pull out all the stops to make this the most romantic and delicious meal he could make.

•♡•

it wasn't that often that you got to lounge on the deck of the sunny, in utter silence, save for the soft sound of crashing waves against the ship, enjoying the sight of the occasional birds flying overhead and the sun beginning to set, you were determined to finish the last couple chapters of your book, and you had done just that.

you were just about to start getting up to head to the kitchen, wondering what the plan for dinner was tonight since it appeared to be just you and sanji, but as you turned to do just that, the cook was already by your side. "mon chéri, i was just coming to get you. dinner is ready."

it was a quite walk to the kitchen, sanji's cheeks had a hint of pink blush spread so cutely across from them, fidgeting with the cigarette in between his fingers, the cook seemed nervous about something...

•♡•

he held open the kitchen door for you, letting you walk in first "after you, mon chéri." and what greeted you inside was the most beautiful candle-lit dinner you had ever seen. the table was set with extreme care and delicacy, hand-arranged flowers (your favorite kind, of course) sitting in a vase right at the center.

you turn to sanji, eyes wide with shock and amazement, "oh my god! sanji, this is amazing! it's so beautiful, you didn't have to do all of this!!" it was only with a gentle placing of his hand on the smalls of your back, that you then started to pick up your feet and head inside the kitchen.

like a true gentleman, he pulled out your chair for you and scooted you in as you sat. you watched as he grabbed your plates, already served with the most divine looking pasta dish, salad, and local baked fish, and gently placed them on the table. it was only then when he was opening and pouring the sweet white wine into your respective glasses that he started to speak again. "honestly, this almost doesn't feel like enough.." after placing the wine glass on the table, he took his seat, placing his hands on the table around the plate in front of him.

his nerves had started to get the best of him, and suddenly he was consumed with the overwhelming worry that you deserved much more than this. his blonde hair falling into his eye, as he tilted his head down towards his food, almost afraid to look you in the eyes.

reaching across the table, you gently picked up his hand, holding it in yours. it was then that he was finally able to meet your eyes again, that you finally replied "are you crazy? this is incredible! i can't believe you would do all of this just for me.."

"just for you? oh, mon amour, i am utterly infatuated with you. how could i not do this for you?" the words spilling out of his mouth before he could stop them, he couldn't hold them in any longer. blush filled his cheeks yet again, but since the cat was already out of the bag, he might as well finish what he was trying to say. he gently squeezed your hair in his as he softly stated "it would be my greatest honor and delight to call you mine."

as his ocean blue eyes gazed into yours with worry and anticipation, the blush colored across his noses and cheeks, you couldn't help the way your heart melted as you gently replied "you already have my heart, sanji. i'm all yours."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: this is truly the most self indulgent fic i have ever written and im not even going to lie and act like its not. the plot of this fic is my greatest dream in life. this stupid little fic has been eating up my brain and it just seems selfish to keep it there. they don't like love you like i love you fr sanji 😭😭😭

a/n: enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!!

[tan1shere]

Who Is She

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: the extra of tanns kinktober I hope you enjoy it 😁

Summary: you were new in town, being warned about the mysterious girl and how she was insane. Little did you know you'd absolutely love her and the mysteriousness.

Warnings: smut, stalker billie, vampire billie ! Fingering <3

Masterlist - Halloween ML

"A misty memory..."

"A haunting face..."

That's the constant warnings you got of her. Ever since you moved here 2 months ago. You didn't even know her name. No one dared to utter it. You honestly didn't care if it came out of your mouth. You just really wanted to know who this mystery girl was. The people never specified why she was so aloof, just that whenever anyone would be around her they'd go missing. You personally didn't believe that one bit, as if someone could just do that so randomly. Someone known.

The friends you had made so far were the ones warning you, the town was small so many people knew of her. And that is exactly why you went to the friendly old man that worked at the sweet shop down the road. You'd go in there often and he'd have all these fun stories to tell you. Especially back in his day, his wisdom was intriguing, so he was most definitely the person to go to. The bell jingles as you open the door to the shop. "Hey jo!" You smile at him. "Hey toffee!" He smiles cheerfully. He had started calling you that soon after he realized your love for it.

The nicknames just stuck around, but so have you. "How are you today?" You ask kindly, grabbing some toffee fudges. You then go to your forever spot on the end of the counter. Sadly not many people would visit him, it saddened you because he was always so lovely to everyone. "I'm amazing, how are you hun?" The smile never left his face which always made you feel 10x better no matter the day you had. "Not too bad! Hey, could I ask you something?" You say, unwrapping the sweet. Passing him the wrapper to throw away for you alongside money that was way more than it actually costed.

He always would say to keep it but you never listened. "Fire away." He leans back in the chair he'd always sit in, watching as you plopped the fudge into your mouth. "Mystery girl. Who is she?" He looks at you carefully. "No one, knows who she really is. But I do happen to know more in depth details that nobody knows." AhHA! You knew he'd know something, after all he's lived in this town his whole life. He knew everything and everyone, so there was no surprise. "Billie, I knew her parents way back before they left." He cuts himself off, you had a feeling he knew alot more than he was about to tell you, but you just let that go. "Shes lived in this town for years, and years."

He stops again, was he giving slight clues? Jo was never a fast talker he'd constantly take small pauses. But it was the way his voice changed at the end of each sentence, as if he was leading you on a scavenger hunt. Maybe he was. "Shes never seen by anyone, and if she is its always in that forest near those older houses." You nod your head, listening. "Interested are we?" You purse your lips. "Maybeee." You then smile slightly. "Not scared?" You shake your head, leaning back against the pillar behind you. "Far from it honestly." He now nods, taking in everything you said.

"I knew her when she was really young, like I said I knew her parents years ago, quite well actually. But she would always keep to herself." Your eyes wander down on the counter in thought. "So you don't know why she's so mysterious and 'scary'?" He's still, shrugging just a bit. "If you really want to know you could find out." You laugh slightly. "She must not be that dangerous if you're saying that." He shrugs yet again. "You said it yourself, you're not scared or anything. And who knows what she could be."

"You do." You then say with a tiny grin, he mirrors the action. Putting a finger on the side of his nose. "Go find out, toffee."

And so you do, after a long day on a shift at work, a few days later- Or a few weeks per say. You hadn't gotten the chance to do it. You go down to the forest Jo had mentioned. It was in the evening so things weren't especially light.

I call her name.

"Billie!?"

Across an endless plain.

"I hear you've been looking for me?" -

She'll answer me... wherever she may be.

- She says, lurking in the darkness. Still unable to see a face until she comes into view, she was beautiful. Just a regular young woman. You ignore the fact she knew about your inquires on her, pondering if you should ask who on earth she is but you just have to. You have to know. "What are you?" Was the main thing rattling around in your mind. Her head tilts slightly at the question. "You're very brave, I must say." The thing is, you were never scared. Not even now, she could turn into an ugly ratty demon and you'd still be interested. "Y/n? Right?" You blink at her a few times.

"How do you know my name?" She shrugs. "I've been watching. Observing your every move ever since I found out you were looking for me. And to say the least you intrigued me deeply." You intrigued her? You were quite baffled. "Nobody's told you what I am no?" Your head shakes. "Why don't I show you angel." Your curiosity takes over as She comes closer to you. The situation was endearing, intense within a small gap of time. Her hand goes to your face and you just let it. You look at her lips and they're on you in an instant. Attaching to your own, your jaw, slowly. Your neck.

You hear her breathe in near your pulse point, and it's like something clicks in your brain. You knew exactly what she was, and you wanted to truly find out. "Don't wanna hurt you sweet girl. In any way." She then pulls back to look at you. "I've grown to like you, even if i don't know you fully. Your cute smile when you're laughing with your friends or that happiness when you enter Jo's shop. I just know you're special." She finishes, moving her finger to a strand of your hair, putting it behind your ear. "I want this." You say positively. She thinks for a moment. "I haven't told you what I am-" "I know." You say putting your hands on her face.

She was slightly hesitant, everyone was scared of her, all she wanted was a feed. To keep her well. And you were gladly going to give her that. Her lips were on your own again, the kiss being hungrier than the last. This time you were getting into it more. Gasping just slightly when her hands meet your waist, gripping tightly. Your hands slide down, resting on her neck as she pushes you against one of the many huge trees that were surrounding you currently. The kiss only deepens, making you moan just slightly into her mouth.

"I can smell you." She breathes against your lips. "Taste me then." You say, giving her every bit of permission there was to give. Extending your neck out slightly for her to do just that, taste you. Her lips make contact with it, everything was delicate until you felt a slight piercing in your skin, her sharp fangs seep deep. But yet keeping a careful eye on how much she takes. She meant what she said earlier. You're the only human being who hasn't seen her for something hideous. She admires you. Your hands move to her hair as one of hers move into your jeans. You gasp again as you weren't expecting her to.

Your mind goes numb, blank. Feeling her fingers find their way to your aching clit. It was driving you insane with both tactics at once. The sharp twinge in your neck, and the antagonizing touches on your pussy. Her fingers inch lower towards your hole, slipping in eventually. Your brain turns to samp, closing your eyes shut as she inserts two. "F-fuck." You breathe, completely breathless by every motion. "That feels, good.." You mumble out. The taste in her mouth was intoxicating, you tasted delicious.

She devours the sweet red, coming out of the vein she punctured. Her tongue swipes along the two teeth marks keeping it there for a second, before she comes back to face you. Sticking her free fingers against it. She feels the pulse, slightly weak but still pumping. Her eyes had a slight red tone to them, insanely different from when you first saw her before, her veins were sticking out like crazy under her eyes. Red smeared along her lips. Your mind was hazy. Eyelids drousy as her other fingers make work on your cunt, speeding up now she can see your face. Others would look at you and think you're dying. But that really isn't the case, you were so blissed out. You felt like you were on cloud 9. She smirks. Watching your features.

Hers begin to ease, veins subsiding, eyes not as red, fading into that ocean blue again. Her other hand is removed from your neck to wipe the excess of your blood from her mouth.

She noticed just how blissed out you were, and God she was enjoying the sight. "Still with me baby?" You nod, biting your lip. "S-still with you-" You exhale a tight moan, feeling your back arch as she hit the right spot. "Good girl." The spot that's going to make you gush. Just for her, on her. She watches everything so carefully not wanting to miss anything. "Cum for me." She then says, and with a few more strokes of her fingers you do. Cumming right on her fingers. She takes them out and instantly puts them in her mouth. "Everything about you is so tasty my god." She says, a low moan leaving her in the process. You try to regain your breath, looking at her and realizing soon after. "Wait you mentioned Jo before-" Her eyes are on yours.

"Yeah, course. He's my uncle."

[piastrisun]

i know i'd go back to you.

pairings: charles leclerc + fem reader.

summary: the two cross paths again as they realise letting go was what they needed to find their way back to each other.

genre: hurt/comfort.⠀word count: 4.5k.⠀ warning: none.

request: first request!!!!! everyone cheered (me). ty so so much. <3

notes: back to you by selena gomez. when there’s more than one space between paragraphs it means it’s a time jump. i hope it’s not tedious and it's understandable.

PART ONE.⠀ ⠀PART TWO.⠀ ⠀ ALTERNATIVE ENDING?

autumn is just a step away, the crispness of the air hinting at change. it has been almost three months since your relationship with charles came to an end, yet the memory of that night clings to you like the lingering summer heat. time moves forward relentlessly, but you find yourself stuck, your heart unable to catch up with the weeks.

the leaves begin to turn brown, their vibrant hues echoing the transformation stirring within you. new york is everything you imagined it would be—vibrant, chaotic, alive with possibility. the art program consumes your days, each moment pushing you to create, to dig deeper into your passion. but when the city finally quiets down at night, that familiar ache returns. you think of him. even though leaving was the right choice, part of you wonders if you’ll ever feel completely whole again.

your small flat in brooklyn is a world away from the life you had with him in monaco. it’s yours, it’s freeing. it offered you a fresh start, a chance to rediscover who you are outside of the life you are used to. but even in the midst of pursuing your dreams, there’s a void. you’ve been in touch with all you family ever since you left, they say this heartache is normal, that healing is part of the process. but as the weeks turn into months, you can’t shake the feeling that you’re waiting for something—though you’re not sure what. maybe it’s an apology, a sign from the universe, or even a call from him. the silence between you remains unbroken, thick and impenetrable. and while you never ask them directly about charles, you know most of them can sense what’s going on beneath the surface. especially friends in common, they always seems to know.

however, most of your time there has been incredible, a dream come true in so many ways. you learned things you wouldn’t have in home, met so many wonderful people, and a new world so full of life. maybe this program, this city, was what you needed to find yourself, but did it mean losing him forever? you thought the decision to leave everything would give you clarity. that it would finally help you breathe again, and it does. but also creates a different kind of weight, pulling at your chest whenever you think about what could have been, about the life you envisioned together.

meanwhile, charles wakes up to another empty morning in his flat, a space that once buzzed with shared laughter, quiet conversations, and the small comforts of your presence. now, there’s only silence. he moves through his routine on autopilot, each action reminding him of your absence. he never told you to leave—never wanted you to—but he knows his choices, the way he let life pull him away from you, drove you to walk out the door. the guilt hangs heavy, like a shadow he can’t shake. since you left, everything feels hollow to him. he goes to work, travels for races, puts on the show the world expects of him, but inside, he’s always thinking of you. of the last look you gave him, the hurt in your eyes. he wishes he could go back, say the things he didn’t, fix the cracks that were already starting to show.

the apartment is a constant reminder. your favorite books are still on the shelf, your art supplies untouched, like some part of him hopes you’ll walk back in and pick up where you left off. but he knows better. he knows he failed you. he knows he has to apologise. you needed space to grow, to explore your art, and he, without realizing it, held you back.

in a desperate attempt to make things right, he searches for ways to show he understands. he wants you to know that if you decide to come back, he’s ready to be the person you needed all along. though he’s unsure if you will return, he clings to that hope. maybe one day, he’ll find your way back to you. he’ll always go back to you.

the knock at your door startles you, pulling you away from the last-minute packing for your evening out with some friends from the art program. it’s a celebratory dinner, a chance to mark the end of an era before possibly returning to monaco. you weren’t expecting anyone, but when you open the door, the last person you imagine seeing is arthur, charles’ younger brother. he stands there, his posture tense, his eyes filled with a seriousness you’ve rarely seen from him. his presence instantly shifts the atmosphere, and the excitement of your evening fades. this was something serious.

“hey,” he says, cutting off your attempt to greet him, and stepping inside without waiting for an invitation, as if the urgency of his visit is enough reason to intrude. “i know this is unexpected. and i’m not here to pry, believe me.” he reaches into his jacket pocket, pulling out a plane ticket and placing it in your hand. “this is your way back. you need to go home.”

you blink down at the ticket, heart stuttering in your chest. “what—what is this?” you start, but arthur keeps talking, his voice calm with conviction.

“you and charles are meant to be together. i’ve never seen two people more right for each other than you two.”

you blink in shock, staring down at the ticket in your hands. “wait…”

you open your mouth to protest, but arthur cuts you off again. “look, he’s been a mess without you. he won’t say it, probably doesn’t even know how to. he doesn’t want to hold you back again. not after everything.” his voice softens, eyes searching yours for a flicker of understanding. “i don’t know if coming back is what you have in mind, but if it is, just consider what i said.”

“does he know you’re here?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper, the weight of the moment pressing down on you.

arthur shakes his head. “no. and i’m not planning on telling him. this isn’t for him, not entirely. it’s for you, too,” he says, his gaze unwavering. “i know you’ve found something here, and i’m not saying you should give it up. but if there’s a part of you that still loves him—” his voice lowers, “and i know there is—you should go back. it’s not something you can just walk away from. not forever.”

his words hit harder than you expected, leaving you standing there, speechless. arthur knows you nearly as well as charles does, and he’s never been one to get involved unless he truly believed it was necessary. and here he was, standing in your tiny flat in new york, asking you to come home. your time on the other side of the world has been everything, but you can’t deny his words. you don’t want to abandon what you’ve built here, but you also can’t avoid the thought of charles, waiting for you, even if he hasn’t said a word.

arthur’s voice is softer now, almost pleading. “just think about it. you’re doing amazing things here, i know. but are you really happy without him?”

you look up at him, emotions swirling, and for a moment, all the memories of charles come rushing back—his laugh, the way he used to look at you when you talked about your future together, his bright eyes, the warmth of those moments, and the plans of the wedding that never happened. the ticket feels heavier than it should.

arthur gives you a small, understanding smile, sensing your hesitation. “don’t wait too long, alright?”

for days, the plane ticket sits on your bedside table, untouched, as you try to avoid the decision in front of you. everywhere you go in new york reminds you of him—his voice, his presence, as if he’s been a part of this city with you all along. you wonder what he’s doing, if he’s thought about you, and what would happen if you went back.

the night before your flight is scheduled, you stand by your window, staring at the skyline, trying to convince yourself that staying is the right choice. the city has given you so much, but your heart still belongs to monaco—belongs to him. the pull toward him is stronger than you can ignore. in the quiet hours of the morning, something shifts. without thinking too much, you grab your suitcase, the ticket in hand, and head to the airport. your heart pounds in your chest as you board the plane, unsure of what’s waiting for you on the other side.

when the plane lands, the air feels different—heavier, somehow. but the familiarity settles around you. after checking into a hotel, you debate calling him, texting him, but something stops you. it’s not your turn to make the first move this time. instead, you send a quick message to arthur, letting him know you’ve arrived. his response is immediate: you did the right thing. but what if it wasn’t? what if charles isn’t home? what if he’s moved on? what if he doesn’t want to see you at all?

days pass, and you intentionally steer clear of the familiar spots that once felt like home. each corner brings a rush of nostalgia, a reminder of the life you built together. the park bench where you’d spent lazy afternoons in each other’s company, the part of the town in which he proposed—each place holds memories that now feel too heavy to bear. you feel like a ghost in a city that should feel welcoming, yet instead feels foreign and haunting. the sun sets and rises, but you remain in a haze, caught between your desire for freedom and the pull of the love you left behind. you stroll along the waterfront, watching the yachts bob gently in the harbor, their beauty stark against the turmoil inside you.

then, fate, or whatever it is, intervenes. you catch sight of charles in the distance, at the café you were going to get into, the one both used to love, the one you were about the scent of freshly brewed coffee fills the air, mingling with the warmth of sunlight streaming through the large windows, casting a golden glow that feels almost magical. as you step inside, a wave of nostalgia washes over you, but it quickly gives way to something sharper. your heart races the moment your eyes meet his across the room. he freezes, surprise evident on his face, clearly unaware you were back in town. his expression shifts from shock to something more vulnerable.

a whirlwind of emotions surges within you—excitement, fear, and a deep-seated ache pulling you toward him even as your mind races with uncertainty. yet, the familiarity of it all wraps around you like a comforting blanket.

he stands there, momentarily rooted in place, his eyes searching yours as if trying to unravel the months and emotions that have drifted between you. in that split second, memories flood back with stunning clarity: the late nights spent talking until dawn, sharing dreams that felt boundless, the whispered promises of forever.

charles swallows hard, the tension in his shoulders relaxing just a fraction as he takes a hesitant step closer. “hey, you’re back,” his voice is gentle, almost hesitant, as though he’s not sure if you’re really standing there in front of him. his shoulders relax, but his eyes remain locked on yours.

you offer a small smile, trying to steady the rush of emotions rising in your chest. “yeah. summer’s over, so it’s not that unexpected.” you let out a soft laugh, an attempt to bring lightness into the conversation, to ease the weight that’s hung between you both since the moment you parted. he chuckles, a sound you’ve missed more than you’d care to admit. it feels like home. “sorry, terrible joke. how have you been?” you ask, curiosity and nervousness intertwining in your voice.

charles tilts his head slightly, his expression softening as he mirrors your question. “do you want the truth, the lie, or a vague answer?” his lips curve into that playful smile you remember so well, the one that used to make your heart skip a beat. you nod, the tension easing as you laugh softly, choosing the third option to keep things light. “i’ve been… okay, trying to figure things out.” he runs a hand through his hair, his fingers lingering for a moment, as though buying himself time. his eyes flicker with a thousand unsaid words before he asks, “you? how was your summer?”

you swallow, a mix of pride and hesitation bubbling inside you. “it was good, actually. i painted a lot and explored some really cool places.” there’s a pause, a slight hitch in your breath before you add, “could’ve been better, though.”

his brows knit together, curiosity tugging at him. “why?” his voice is genuine, concern etched into the way he looks at you, unaware of the depth behind your words.

but before you can answer, you both step forward, the line moving as the barista glances your way. his attention shifts for a moment, but not before his gaze lingers on you, a thoughtful expression crossing his face.

“i’ll have the usual,” charles says, stepping up to order. his voice is calm, but there’s an underlying warmth to it. “two americanos, one with almond milk, and a blueberry scone, right?”

your heart swells with unexpected emotion, the simplicity of the gesture somehow making your breath catch. “you got it,” you whisper, almost to yourself, but loud enough for him to hear. he turns toward you, his smile quiet; he could never forget your picks. you try to hand him the money for your coffee, but he pushes your hand softly back to you, what he usually does to avoid letting you pay anything.

you both fall into silence as you wait for your coffees, the air between you thick with unsaid words. it’s familiar and yet uncharted at the same time, like returning to a place you know by heart but with the awareness that everything has changed.

when the drinks arrive, charles hands you yours, his fingers grazing yours for the briefest moment—a spark, a connection that neither of you can deny.

“can we talk?” his voice breaks the silence as you step out of the café, the bustling streets surrounding you, but it feels like you’re the only two people in the world.

“yeah, sure,” you nod, bracing yourself for whatever comes next, though your heart has already begun to race. you walk side by side, your steps falling into a rhythm that feels as natural as breathing. he glances at you, his gaze soft, almost vulnerable.

“i’ve missed you,” he admits quietly, as though he’s been holding those words inside for too long. you stop, turning to face him, the weight of everything between you hanging in the air.

“yeah, i’ve missed you too,” you say, and it’s the truth. the ache of missing him had never really gone away.

“i’m so sorry for the way things went,” charles continues, his voice low but steady. “i didn’t mean for things to end the way they did. i never wanted to lose you. you were right to do what you did. i see that now.” his hand reaches up, almost instinctively, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, the familiar touch sending warmth through you. “i was too caught up in my own world to realise how important your dreams were.”

you look down for a moment, the weight of his words settling over you like a bittersweet memory. “you didn’t want to lose me, but you pushed me away,” you say, your voice soft but resolute. “i needed to do something for myself, and you made me feel like i had to choose between my art and us. it hurt.”

charles closes his eyes for a brief second, his expression pained. “i know, i’m sorry. i wish i could take it back,” he whispers, his voice thick with regret. “i was hurt, and it’s not an excuse. i should’ve been supportive. i should’ve let you chase your dreams without making you feel like you had to choose. and i should’ve spent my summer break there with you, even if it was just for a month.”

“you should’ve been, yes,” you agree, the truth hanging between you both like a fragile thread. “but it’s okay. you’re apologizing now, and i accept them.”

his relief is palpable. “i would’ve understood if you didn’t. i acted like an idiot,” he says, though there’s a sadness in his laugh. his eyes meet yours one more time. “you’re brilliant. you know that, right?”

a soft smile pulls at your lips, the tension in your chest loosening just slightly. “oh, whatever, charlie. you’ve apologised.”

his laughter comes easily this time, and something inside you softens. the nickname slips out without you realising, but it feels right, like muscle memory.

“what have you been up to since i left?” you ask, the question laced with curiosity, but also a cautious hope.

he hesitates for just a second before the excitement builds in his expression. “about that. i want you to see something,” he says, leading you forward. you follow him without question, your heart racing as you both make your way to his apartment—the one that used to be yours too. a block away from the café, your footsteps fall into a familiar rhythm.

when you reach the building, the air feels thick with memories. his fingers brush against your arm, guiding you in as if nothing has changed, and yet everything has.

“i found an amazing art consultant here,” charles says as you walk through the door. “she can connect you to a lot of artists across europe. i contacted her and showed her some of your work. she loved it.” his voice is filled with excitement, his eyes bright as he watches for your reaction.

your breath catches. “you have to be kidding me,” you say, your heart swelling at the thought of him doing this for you.

“never,” he says softly. “this could be your bridge back into that world.”

as you step into the flat, the familiarity of it hits you like a wave. everything is exactly where you left it—the photos, the little trinkets, even the paintings you’d made that still hang on the walls. you feel a warmth in your chest, realizing how much he’s held onto. even if it was just a three-month breakup, it felt like an eternity.

“you still have my things,” you say, a mix of surprise and emotion coloring your voice. “you have everything.”

“why wouldn’t i?” he asks softly, his gaze filled with a tenderness you hadn’t expected. he leads you down the hallway, guiding you to a room you hadn’t stepped into for a long time.

“i—” charles pauses at the door, his hand resting on the handle as he inhales deeply. then, with a slow exhale, he opens it. “i cleared out the office and turned it into an art studio,” he says, his voice quieter now, almost unsure. “in case you came back, even if you didn’t. i wanted you to have a place to create, to feel inspired again.”

you step inside, your breath catching in your throat as you take it all in. the room feels like a dream, filled with all the supplies you’ve ever loved, organised exactly as you would’ve done it yourself. your pieces hang on the walls, even the new ones you had mentioned years ago. and there, on a shelf, is a small drawing he made for you when you first started dating—two figures, you and him, holding hands with the words, ‘i’m so lucky you fell in love with me’ written beneath.

“wow, you really thought about this,” you whisper, your voice soft as you take in the gesture, overwhelmed by the love behind it.

“every day,” charles admits, stepping closer, his voice thick with emotion. “i’ve been a mess without you. and you deserve to have everything you ask for, even when you don’t.”

your heart swells, and before you can stop yourself, the words tumble out: “i’m always going to love you, you know that?”

his eyes widen slightly, but there’s no hesitation when he responds. “i’m always going to love you too,” he says softly, his hand finding yours.

“i want to get back together. i want to do it right,” he adds, his voice steady but filled with hope. “if you take me. i don’t want to rush anything, but i want you to know that i’m here to support you, wherever that takes us. and i’ll do anything for you to trust me again.”

you hold his gaze, the weight of his words sinking in. “no running away,” you say, your heart in your throat. you want this, of course you do. “we have to do things right; it has to be different.” the way things had been left months ago didn't change how you perceived him; nothing ever could. he’s still the person you fell for nearly ten years ago. all you want from him is honesty, a genuine conversation about everything. and he’s finally doing that.

“i won’t,” charles promises, his voice unwavering. he steps closer, gently cupping your face, his thumb brushing your cheek with tender affection. “i promise you. i’m not going anywhere. not again.”

you search his eyes, looking for sincerity, willing yourself to believe him. “you need to mean that, charles. i can’t go through the hurt again. it would destroy me.”

he swallows hard, the weight of your words hanging heavily between you. “i do mean it,” he assures you, his voice steady yet tinged with urgency. “i’ve missed you too much to let you go again. i’ve been lost, trying to exist in a world that felt incomplete without you. i can’t let that happen again. and i won’t ever disappoint you again.”

you breathe deeply, feeling the truth in his words. “okay,” you murmur softly, allowing the warmth of his touch to pull you closer.

your lips meet his, and suddenly, the world around you disappears. the kiss is slow, yet filled with all the longing and love that had built up during your time apart—two hearts finding their way back to each other. his hands cradle your face as if you were something fragile, and you lean into him, your fingers tangling in his brown hair, the kiss deepening, passionate and full of the promise that this time would be different.

when you finally pull apart, his forehead rests against yours, both of you breathing heavily, overwhelmed by the rush of emotions. a playful smile tugs at charles’ lips. “so… boyfriend and girlfriend again?” his eyes glimmer with happiness, his grin widening as though he can’t believe this is real.

you laugh softly, shaking your head in disbelief. “oh, no,” you tease, a playful smile spreading across your lips as you brush your hand across his chest. he flinches for a moment, eyes widening in mock alarm, before recognition dawns and a grin breaks through. “we’re getting married, remember? you can’t back out now.”

his laughter fills the room, rich and full, as he leans in to kiss you again, this time gently, his lips brushing yours with sweet tenderness. “even better,” he whispers almost against your lips, and you can feel the smile on his face, the joy in his voice as he kisses you once more; he can’t stop it now. “just want to make sure i’m up to the task of being the best husband ever.”

charles gently pulls even you closer, his arms circling around you in a way that feels both familiar and entirely new. you sink into his embrace, your cheek resting against his chest, where you can feel the slow, steady rhythm of his heart. the hug feels like coming home. his arms tighten around you, and there’s a tenderness in the way he holds you, as though he’s afraid to let go, afraid you might slip away again.

when you finally pull back just enough to look up at him, there’s a softness in his eyes that mirrors everything you feel. and in that moment, with his arms still around you and the world outside feeling miles away, there’s a sense of relief in the air, a comfort neither of you thought you’d feel again so soon.

“you told someone we called it quits?” you ask, your voice teasing but with a hint of curiosity laced within it.

charles looks down at you, a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “not exactly… just my family.”

you raise an eyebrow, playfully. “especially arthur, i’m guessing.”

he pauses, his smirk fading into a look of mild confusion, brow furrowing. “what do you mean?” he asks, his tone genuinely puzzled, not quite understanding where you’re going with this.

“oh, don’t bother, love,” you say with a knowing smile, your voice teasing. you think of how arthur, and perhaps even a few others, conspired to push you both back together. you’ll share the details with charles eventually, and the image of his reaction makes you smile. you know he’ll laugh, maybe even shed a few happy tears at the gesture.

he narrows his eyes in mock suspicion but decides not to press the issue. instead, his hand gently rubs circles on your back. “okay… but answering your question—everyone else thinks we only postponed the wedding.”

your eyes widen in surprise, and you pull back slightly to look at him. “oh! so you knew we could work it out, huh?”

he flashes a playful grin, the spark in his eyes returning. “sometimes i do know things, you know?”

the two of you burst into laughter, the kind that leaves your stomachs aching a little and your faces flushed with joy. it’s a bright, carefree moment, the kind that had been missing for too long.

as the laughter fades, you rest against him, your head finding its familiar spot on his chest, the rhythm of his heartbeat steadying your own. he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head, and for the first time in a long while, everything feels like it’s falling into place.

“we’re really doing this again, aren’t we?” you murmur, your voice filled with hope.

“we are,” charles whispers back, his arms tightening around you. “and this time, i’m going to get it right.”

he kisses you again, gently but with all the love he has in his heart. the world outside seems distant, unimportant, as the two of you stand in the stillness of the moment, wrapped in each other’s warmth. and as you look up at him, the man who had once made you question everything but who now stands here, ready to give you the world, you know that this time, there’s no more doubt. only love. it’s not just a new beginning—it’s the continuation of something that never truly ended. the end of one chapter and the start of forever.

©⠀piastrisun original work. please don’t translate, claim or repost any of my writing, 24’.

[fruitmins]

Agust Dad—Three

➭ summary: Your a producer from another company that he happened to be collaborating with on his 2nd album D-2. At the release party— one drunk action leads to another, you do the worst thing you can do in the industry and change your fate forever.

➭genre: short series, pregnancy au, idol au, angst, dad au

➭warnings: none I think, just pure angst, Yoongi’s kinda stalkerish but that’s okay

<next part>

note: I don’t wanna drag this out but I don’t wanna make the chapters to long😭 anyways my life has been crazy lately and this story gives me life so THANK YOU SM for all of the support I love you ALL. Updated the tag list for whoever asked to be on it🫶🏽

Taglist: @welcometomyworld13 @tatyhend @jiminiesunicorn @littlestarstinyseven @baechugff @thelilbutifulthings @tearykth @familiarlikemymirror3 @coree730 @prajusstuff @wobblewobble822 @choisoorin @manuosorioh @0funsite0 @whipwhoops @bergandysam @aloverga @illnevertrustmyselfagain @silentreadersthings

You thought blocking him would fix the problem. Even though you both worked in the same building, you thought blocking him would make everything go away. You thought he would get a hint and let your breathe.

You actually woke up the next morning with a sense of relief – you’re done with Yoongi. He’s finally out of your life and won't be causing more drama and heartbreak.

Or so you thought.

A loud knock on your front door brings you back to harsh reality very quickly. You weren’t expecting anyone, and it's way too early in the day to be a package or delivery. No one made any prior plans to visit you.

In fact, you hadn’t really talked to anyone since the incident besides a couple family members. But they were way to far from Seoul to suddenly drive to your house.

You stumble to your front door, rubbing your eyes as you try to adjust to the light. You have your hand on the doorknob, prepared to open it as you take a small glance through the peephole.

Oh, it’s Yoongi.

It registers in your head and you quickly do a double take, leaning down more to get a better view.

Oh, it’s YOONGI.

He’s head is down as he looks at his phone, so you can’t get the clearest look at his features but you recognize the luxurious long black hair. You recognize the nice black blazer that he always seems to have on. You recognize his freakishly pale skin and his long fingers and veiny hands.

Min Yoongi is at your doorstep at six o clock in the morning.

You quickly swing your door open, causing his head to snap up from his phone as you stare at him with wide eyes.

“What are you doing here?”

You get deja vu as you whisper yell at him, afraid you’d alert the neighbors or some crazy fan would realize that Min Yoongi is on your doorstep.

You should be asking how he got your address and number, but your mind is too much of a mess to ask the right questions.

“Why can’t I come check up on you?” Yoongi frowns, irritated by your cold welcome and you stare at him like he is an alien.

Before you can answer his insane question, he speaks up again. “Wow this house is treacherous.” He mumbles as he glancing around your porch.

You shake your head, dismissing the sudden rude remark on your house. “Yoongi are you insane? You can’t come here like this.” You say in a quiet voice again, glancing around your neighborhood but nothing has changed.

“You blocked me.” Yoongi states, his tone making it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world but his expression was still blank.

“Well I did it because I didn’t want to talk to you.” You state harshly, making it clear how crazy he looked by somehow finding your address and showing up anyways.

He just stands there, remaining unfazed by your outbursts, his gaze never wavering. Instead of saying something back, he simply pushes a piece of paper you hadn’t notice he had, towards you.

You give him a confused look as you take the paper before glancing down to look at it. Upon closer inspection your eyes catch certain words.

Your eyes widen as you realize what the piece of paper was.

You don’t know what you’re going to say, but as you glance back up at him you attempt to move your mouth anyways. He speaks again before you can say even anything. “Take the paternity test.”

You remain silent as you stare down at the paternity test in your hands, the silence between you growing more and more intense. "If the baby isn’t mine, you can block me and I’ll leave you alone. But if it’s mine, I want to be involved..”

For the first time every, you see a hint of emotion in his eyes. His blank expression softens, revealing a hint of who he might really be. “I want to be there.”

You don't say anything, but inside your heart's beating a mile a minute and your thoughts are spinning around your mind as you try to process everything. This moment feels far too surreal, like something out of a drama that only exists in fiction.

Of course you couldn’t believe his words. After everything you spilled to him yesterday, you couldn’t just hop back into his arms. You couldn’t just trust him again. You want to tell him off for showing up at your door like this in the first place.

But still, a faint flicker of hope springs inside you. A tiny voice whispers things in your ear that maybe things will be different. Maybe you won’t be alone. Just maybe you could trust him.

"Fine, I'll take the test." As soon as the words leave your mouth, you feel a pang of regret. You can’t deny him the right to know if it’s his, even if you knew that it was already biologically. He was the only man you’d slept with for almost a year.

Without giving him much time to process your words, you close the door breathing heavily as you tired to calm your thoughts. You try to focus on other things for the time being, but despite your efforts to think positively and be strong, a nagging feeling of dread never leaves you. You feel a heavy weight sink in your stomach as you worry about the future and your baby.

You retreat to your room, shutting the door behind you. You take the paternity test out, and after a moment of hesitation, you start taking it. You take a sample of your spit and see that Yoongi has already done the same.

You try to keep your mind blank while you do it, but as soon as you start collecting the sample, your brain is flooded with thoughts of Yoongi and your time together. The night, the sex, everything.

You can’t help but wonder how the you and Yoongi would look together, holding a little baby in your arms with him next to you. You can’t help but think about things as if it was another universe were you met on simpler terms.

Your thoughts quickly spiral into a fantasy, and by the time you finish taking the test, your cheeks are red.

You know it’s stupid but you can’t help but think about what’s going to come after the test gets back to you. It’s going to be proof that the baby is his and he claims to want to be involved.

That he wants to be there.

That he’s here now.

Your mind wanders back to the conversation you had in your office. How you told him over and over that he had abandoned you. And in response, here he was saying that he was here for you.

You don’t know how long you can believe him and you don’t know if the desire to care for the baby will go away.

But one things for certain is that the test will come back positive.

And you’ll no longer escape the reality of what awaits you.

Before you know it, Yoongi shows up to your house a couple days later but this time you actually invited him.

You know that you couldn’t tell him at the company cause you could be caught and it’s not something you should tell him through text, so you invited him to your house.

The doorbell rings and your eyes go to the clock above the door.

It's early, but not that early. With your heart racing, you head to the door and slowly it open to reveal... Yoongi.

You remain frozen for a moment before speaking, your throat dry.

He looks as handsome as ever, though he seems more cautious and serious than usual. He knows why he is here, and you know why he is here.

So you push back any thoughts that aren’t necessary and any memories that don’t need to be brought back. "Hello," you say simply, not knowing what else to say.

"Hello," he greets you, eyes skimming over your stomach, which isn’t yet visible but will be soon.

“Come in..” you say in a quiet voice turning away from him and going to the couch in the living room. Your heart starts racing as you begin to feel anxious about the conversation that lies ahead.

Yoongi enters your house, but the air is tense. The silence hangs so thick that you could cut it with a knife.

Eventually, he speaks up, his tone stiff.

"Did you get the results back?" he asks, his deep voice cuts through the silence.

Immediately your heartbeat goes up a notch, and you silently nod in response. “I did..” you mumble, swallowing hard as you pick up the paper off the table and slowly hand it to him, your heart thumping as you watch him closely.

A moment passes as he scans the paper in silence, taking his time and processing the implications.

Finally, he hands the paper back to you, his expression unreadable and the tension in the room as thick as ever.

There, it's all out in the open now, and there's no going back. You’ve officially connected yourself to Min Yoongi.

"So... it's true then."

Yoongi's words hang in the air, heavy.

You nod, your throat squeezed shut with anxiety and worry. Yoongi's gaze wanders across your face, his expression unreadable. His mind must be racing with thoughts of what to do next.

The silence stretches on forever before he finally speaks again. “We need to talk about this," he says calmly, and his tone is decisive.

You take a deep breath before speaking. “Well, I already told you I plan on raising it alone.” You state in a low voice, not making eye contact with him.

Yoongi exhales a shaky frustrated breath, his emotions taking the wheel once more. He takes a moment to collect himself before finding the right words. "And you think I'm just supposed to sit by and let that happen?" He challenges.

You blink, and for a moment, you can tell how serious he's being and you know you’re being stubborn but you can’t help but think of all the package Yoongi came with. His career, his fans, his schedule.

“It’ll just be easier for you and for me if you weren’t involved.” You state, with a heavy sigh. Yoongi's expression doesn't change, but his body language shifts. He crosses his arms and leans against the wall, the tension in his stance palpable.

"Easier for you, maybe. But don’t you think the baby has a right to know who its father is?” He asks and the question catches you by the throat and makes it dry.

Your stomach is filled with guilt, because you know he has a point. You go quiet at the moment, suddenly feeling guilty Yoongi had a right to be involved and the baby had the right to have a father.

And if Yoongi has asked this question, then maybe he was being serious. Maybe he actually cared about the child.

“So, how much do you want to be involved in?” You ask, glancing up at him to see that his eyes narrow momentarily before he responds, but his tone gradually softens as he sees the guilt in your eyes.

"I want to know the baby," he says, the softness in his tone taking you by surprise. "I want to be there for everything, from the first doctor's visits to the first words. I want to be part of its life."

You notice that whenever he says "the baby", his eyes flick towards your stomach as he speaks, even though there’s not visual of the baby even being there.

“What about your career? What about the media?” You question, slightly worried how his fans will react, how his company will react. It wasn’t everyday an idol got some random woman knocked up.

Yoongi relaxes a little after you concede the point, no longer challenging you. "Don't worry about that," Yoongi says quickly, his voice full of determination.

"The media's always going to make a big fuss, but I'll handle it. I'll handle everything. You shouldn’t stress about anything, especially if it’s not your problem to worry about."

His words make your heart flutter, but you're not sure if it's happiness or anxiety. It was like when he looked at the paper, his whole demeanor changed. His whole mindset changed, and you don’t know if you should be excited or worried.

"Listen," he says softly, "I never dreamed that something like this would happen, but now that it has, I want to make sure this baby has the best life possible. I’m not going to take the easy way out, that’s not what a real man does.” He states and despite his tough exterior, Yoongi is determined to be a present father for your child-to-be.

It’s silent again, millions of thoughts and emotions racing through your mind. “Well, I have a seven week appointment, if you want to come..” You mumble in a quiet voice.

“I’ll be there.”

He says, way to quickly.

[k-tarotz]

PICK A CARD; Your & Your F/O’s Dynamic

PILE ONE PILE TWO PILE THREE

hii and welcome to this pick a card! 🫶🏻 it will be a reading related to your fictional other! if that’s not your thing remember to not judge, everyone has different interests. that being said, if you are unsure how to pick a pile take a deep breath and choose the one your eyes first landed on, or the one you feel most drawn to. have fun and thank you for participating.

F/o reading | Kpop reading | personal reading | masterlist

PILE ONE

the sun, nine of pentacles, six of pentacles

so right of the bat this is someone who genuinely adores you a lot. they love the way you laugh, dress and carry yourself. they have a deep sense of love and adoration for you! not a single thing they don’t like about you.

they see you as the sun. the brightest, best thing in their life that they cannot live without. it doesn’t matter it you are a gloomy person, or not as positive as you could be. they will see only the good in you, never focus on your faults. they have a really high sense of love and adoration for you and nothing can change that. in their eyes you can do no harm, and that stays like that, most probably forever.

they would also most probably love to spoil you rotten, whatever you want is yours because they will get it for you in a heartbeat. they won’t accept a no. for some of you, your f/o could be really rich so they have no problem spending money on you. for another half of the group this is someone who doesn’t have a lot but is an insanely hardworking person and will do anything to provide you comfort.

they love you too much to just sit and watch you daydream about the things you could have. they are very action oriented and it will show in your relationship. there is also a possibility they aren’t good with words but they for sure will love you so much EVERYONE will know it. even strangers.

they love you dearly and would never ask for anyone else in their life, to them you are like a sweet summer song on a warm night under the stars. something that is impossible to forget.

this dynamic mainly sun x moon, but there is also a really strong power dynamic here. neither one of you less than the other but both having different roles. i don’t think theres a specific name for this one but the vibe is ‘would give up the world for them x not used to affection but secretly loving it’

some of you might be very shy receiving so much love and affection because you aren’t used to it or have never been loved this way before but this would only motivate your person further to love you deeply and show it to you everyday, let that be with big or small actions.

channeled messages: “ I love you, my dearest “, “ I wouldn’t mind dying in your arms”, “Do you love me like I love you?”, “Catch me before I fall”, “Wether you are 20 or a 200 years old I love you regardless”, “Summer Time Sadness”

other things that might be relevant:

ice, distance, natto?, orange, laces, black, aesthetics, gold, music/singing, fashion, pool (pool parties for some), king

PILE TWO

judgment, hermit, the world

this one is soooo cute! with all due respect, each pile is insanely cute, but this one is especially sweet. your f/o could be a person that has a hard time opening up to people and could be labeled as a cold person even if they are not. so, ultimately a misunderstood person.

regardless of that they do have a hard time with affection, as i have already said~ they could push people away on purpose and hurting them before getting hurt themselves. now with you this would change. no matter what happens and what they do you just keep loving them without needing a specific reason. you just love them for themselves without any bad intentions and it’s so new to them and they love it so much they just want to be around you all the time and they get so overwhelmed with this feeling they aren’t quite sure how to react to it but before they realise it they fell in love already.

you fell first, they fell harder. way harder. they love you so much they feel like their heart can jump out of their chest at any minute.

since we have the hermit & the world card together it is also very possible that you are their first and last love. (even if they are written to have romantic interest in the show.. it does not matter.)

however don’t be mistaken though, they do have a very ‘fuck it, i am going to love you on purpose’ energy. they want you to know that they love you, are in love with you and that it’s not because of some accident or uncontrollable force but they adore you for the person you are. for the things you do, for the way you talk and because you are you. they love everything about you, even your habits. they find it very endearing.

once they are comfortable accepting the fact that they are in love with you they will be very affectionate with you. let that be cuddling, holding you on their lap (or vise versa, whatever you prefer), kissing you, defending you even when they know you are wrong but correcting you in private, helping you cook, doing the things you have no energy for or whatever makes you feel loved they will do it. you won’t have to tell them. they are attentive and always pay attention to you. they adore you more than you could ever imagine.

channeled messages: “Please don’t cry for me”, “I love you the most”, “Don’t take your eyes of me”, “Theres a million worlds where I love you and I would destroy each one where I don’t if I had the power”

other things that might be relevant:

white cat, car, hell (??), tent, snake, help, healing crystals (?), bites, tags (?), spices, red, power

PILE THREE

queen of swords, nine of swords, four of pentacles

alright so for your person you are someone very healing, maybe not intentionally but you heal them in ways no one could ever do before and they adore you so much for it. you give them more perspective in life and teach them things they wouldn’t have been able to think about before. this could be views on life or specific things. definitely related to how different you two are as people, but in a good way.

do you know that saying? “i can change them” well you actually can, and it’s really cute.

they could be someone that is known as a powerful but morally not correct character, or perhaps just have a personal growth arc. well, with you they would have this not only faster but better. i am not saving that you would be their saviour and they cannot live without you, but that’s kind of the energy here.

maybe at first you wouldn’t be willing to get together or like them? either way, they would want your approval a lot, straight from the get go. they look up to you like to no other and want to be someone you approve of. they have this deep desire for your love. so they would naturally change themselves for the better.

i know some people look at change as a negative thing so i would like to say: they wouldn’t force their personality or anything of the sort to change, but rather their morals/principles and the way they view life. ultimately they would have more understanding and love in their heart because of you. they would want to see the world from your eyes, understanding what you think and why you do the things you do.

they view you as someone deserving of their love, their trust and such. you would be one of, if not the only, people they show their vulnerable side to. you are a diamond in a rough in their eyes.

you are also someone they wish to protect with all their might and will, they could be very possessive over you. (though not in a toxic way.)

channeled messages: “come with me”, “kiss me just one time”, “they might leave but i will never leave you”, “ i understand, you don’t have to say a word”

things that might be relevant:

royal, river, tenten (?), kelp, yoyo, yagami (death note), bandages, fire torches, silver, rings, sunlight

thank you for participating

- Candy

[writtenwhalien]

a lover's redemption | chapter 4

chapter 4. through the cracks

pairing ↠ mafia leader!park jimin x reader

genre ↠ mafia AU — romance/action (angst, fluff, smut)

summary ↠ Blood, business and betrayal is all that Park Jimin has ever known, but when you cross paths again, the stakes are raised even higher and he finds himself battling his conscience, and his heart.

word count ↠ 11.5k

18+ | warnings ↠ drinking, explicit sexual content, violence, all sorts of crime (please see the series masterlist for a complete list of warnings). please be warned this chapter has a fair amount of descriptive violence.

taglist is open – dm/comment/send an ask to be added <3

notes ↠ please enjoy and shareeeee xxoxoxox any questions, let me know (maybe i should make a post for all the characters and who they are since there’s a lot now..?)

The morning light streams through your bedroom window, golden and soft as it filters through the curtains, painting the walls in hues of warmth. It coaxes you from sleep gently, the weight of the night slipping away. As you stir, blinking against the sunlight, fragments of your conversation with Jimin float to the surface of your mind. His voice, calm and steady. His quiet honesty, disarming in a way you hadn’t expected, and the softness in his gaze.

You turn onto your side, clutching the blanket a little tighter. For the first time in what feels like forever, you feel lighter, at ease -- you don’t feel like you’re bracing for something to go wrong.

After a few minutes of indulging in the warmth, you sit up, stretching to chase away the last remnants of sleep. Your body feels sluggish, a dull ache in your leg reminding you of the wound that still needs tending. It feels more manageable but as you move the covers back, you're sure the bandages need changing.

You rise carefully and move to the en-suite, splashing your face with cool water. You take your time getting ready, brushing your hair and choosing something comfortable to wear. What is normally a quick job has turned into a few minutes of you painfully wincing to get your shorts up but eventually you're dressed and ready to go down, just in time as your tummy lets out a low growl.

As you leave the room, the faint sounds of life in the house reach your ears — muffled conversation, the clinking of dishes. You realise it’s a sound you haven’t heard in a very long time. Not since you left Namwon many years ago, and even then, the household residing there was much smaller. Hearing it now, you realise you missed it. You let that thought linger as you make your way toward the staircase.

Without Yoongi or Jin to help, the stairs suddenly feel like a mammoth task, requiring extra care as you descend. You brace your hand lightly on the banister, and take the first step, then another, and another. Halfway down the first flight, you hesitate for a moment to gather your strength as there's still another staircase to go after this. Just as you step forward, a movement in the hall below catches your eye. Jimin is there, standing near the base of the staircase.

He looks up, his gaze immediately meeting yours. “Heading down?”

You nod, gripping the railing as you continue your descent.

Jimin steps closer, his hands slipping casually into his pockets as he watches you carefully. “Want some help?” he offers, tilting his head slightly.

“I’m okay,” you reply with a small smile, keeping your movements steady. The stairs creak faintly under your weight, the sound a quiet reminder of your vulnerability which you positively hate. 

You focus on each step, but out of the corner of your eye, you notice Jimin hasn’t moved away. He lingers nearby, his presence an unspoken reassurance, ready to step in if needed.

“How’s the leg healing?” he asks, breaking the silence as you reach the landing.

As you walk down the hall to the ground floor staircase, he walks with you.

You glance at him briefly, appreciating the way he’s keeping pace with you without hovering too closely. “It feels okay. Jin said it’ll take a few weeks.”

Jimin nods thoughtfully. “Yeah, that sounds about right,” he agrees. Then, just as you stand ahead of the first step, a teasing smirk softens the edges of his expression, and he adds, “Though your refusal to use the lift probably isn’t helping.”

You pause mid-step, smiling as you catch your breath. He’s not wrong, but you can’t help defending yourself. “I need to stay moving. It’s good for me.”

“You’re right,” he says, inclining his head. “Far be it from me to argue with that logic.”

Unable to help yourself, you laugh. "Don't get smart with me. You're the same boy who would fall over and rub dirt on the wound to try to heal it."

Jimin laughs and the sound resonates more deeply than you’d expected. "Hey, in my defense, it really felt like it was doing something."

“I’m sure it did,” you say, giving him a playful look as you take the final few steps.

Finally reaching the bottom, you feel a small sense of accomplishment, though your leg aches faintly in protest. 

Jimin gestures toward the dining room, his hand lightly brushing the small of your back to guide you.  “Come on,” he says. “The others are already eating.”

As you enter the dining room, the familiar hum of conversation fills the air. The boys are seated at the long table, their laughter and chatter pausing briefly as they notice you.

“Morning,” Jungkook greets with a grin, his tone light.

Namjoon nods at you, while Hoseok offers a cheerful “Good to see you up.”

Jin’s eyes dart to your leg, assessing. “You okay?” he asks, his tone softer but still tinged with his usual care.

You nod. “I’m good, thanks.”

Jimin, walking beside you, pulls out a chair for you. Surprised by the small but thoughtful gesture, you smile. “Thank you.”

He returns the smile, gentle and understated, before taking his own seat at the head of the table. 

“What does everyone think of these pastries?” Jungkook asks, leaning forward slightly as he gestures to the tray of golden-brown treats at the center of the table, despite having two on his plate. “I think they’re part of a seasonal recipe.”

Hoseok raises a brow at him. “And how would you know that, Jungkook?”

Jungkook shrugs, unapologetic. “I asked Iseul about it yesterday.”

Hoseok chuckles, shaking his head. “Of course you have. Who else but you would interrogate the chef about pastries?”

The group laughs, and Jungkook grins boyishly, unbothered by the teasing. The lightheartedness is infectious, and you find yourself relaxing into the atmosphere, the morning starting to feel like a brief reprieve.

“Speaking of seasonal changes,” Jin says, absentmindedly looking out toward the window, “is anyone else noticing how much colder it feels already? August isn’t even over yet!"

Taehyung rolls his eyes dramatically, leaning back in his chair. “You’re such a drama queen, hyung. There’s only a few days left of the month and it’s barely a breeze.”

Jin shrugs, uncaring. “I’m just saying, it’s chilly now."

The banter carries on, laughter bubbling around the table, however, you notice that despite the endless conversation from everyone, Jimin remains quiet, only laughing or smiling at whatever else is being said. You're sure he's preoccupied with all the bigger matters at hand.

Once almost everyone's plate is cleared, Yoongi clears his throat softly, drawing your attention. “I had some of your things brought over from your house. But the  damage was pretty extensive, so it’ll probably take a few weeks before it’s liveable again.”

You nod, unsurprised but grateful for the update. “Thank you.”

Yoongi gives a small nod, his expression unreadable but his words steady. “The paintings you asked for have been placed into a safe storrbge unit but let me know if there’s anything else you need from there in the meantime.”

The table falls quiet for a beat, a subtle shift in mood as everyone digests the reality of your situation. 

From across the table, Jimin is looking your way, but when you catch his eye, his expression shifts to a smile, but there’s no hiding the sombre behind it. 

Then Seokjin speaks up, undoubtedly attempting to steer the conversation back toward lighter topics. “I was thinking of helping to create the Christmas dinner menu this year, actually.”

Still looking at Jimin, you smile back but you’re unable to hide the same sombreness behind it. You feel  the same heaviness he no doubt feels, though you know for him, it’s worse. Seeing you smile, he softens a little more, the knot in his brows unwinding.

 “Hyung, it’s literally August.” Hoseok notes, drawing your attention back to the rest of the table.“Almost September. Besides, I already have some ideas, and I know once you taste it, you’ll be begging for seconds,” Seokjin responds, pointing his fork at Hoseok. 

“I actually agree with Jin,” Namjoon backs him up through a mouthful of food. 

“Same.” Jungkook looks at Hoseok and shrugs. 

Another chorus of agreement goes around the table, prompting Hoseok to attempt to defend himself, and soon the laughter resumes, brightening the room once more. 

After breakfast, the group begins to disperse. Jimin exchanges a quiet word with Yoongi and Hoseok before excusing himself, the three heading toward the east wing. You watch them leave, their conversation low but purposeful. Before you can wonder too much about their plans, Namjoon steps beside you, his demeanor calm but with a hint of purpose.

“Come with me,” he says, gesturing toward the lounge.

Curious, you follow him into the cosy room. Sunlight streams through the large windows, casting warm patches of light on the plush armchairs and neatly arranged bookshelves. Namjoon picks up his laptop from a side table and places it in front of you on the coffee table, sliding it your way with a small smile.

You glance at him, confused. “What’s this?”

Namjoon chuckles, settling into the armchair across from you. “Like we mentioned at breakfast, it’s not safe for you to go back home just yet. So, whatever you need -- clothes, toiletries, anything else, just go ahead and order it. Consider it a housewarming gift.”

You blink at him, the request catching you off guard. “You’re asking me to… go shopping?”

He nods seriously. “Exactly.”

A laugh escapes you as you glance down at your outfit — an old pair of basketball shorts and a borrowed t-shirt. “Well, yeah, I guess these won’t cut it for long.”

Namjoon smiles, leaning back comfortably. “Don’t hold back. Get what you need.”

You hesitate for a moment before sitting down on the couch and opening the laptop. Namjoon watches you for a moment longer, ensuring you’re settled, before standing. “I’ll leave you to it. If you need anything, just let me know.”

“Thanks,” you reply, already pulling up a browser.

As the door clicks shut behind him, you settle into the task, scrolling through websites and adding essentials to your cart. What starts as a practical endeavour — clothes, toiletries, and a few necessities — soon becomes something more indulgent as you add cosy socks, candles, and even a few books to the list. You can’t help but smile at yourself as the cart grows. By the end of the hour, you’ve got multiple tabs open from multiple stores and enough to make anyone question if you were stocking up for an entire year.

Not long after you finish placing your order, the sound of footsteps in the hallway draws your attention. Taehyung and Jungkook appear in the doorway, their expressions bright and eager. Jungkook waves enthusiastically while Taehyung leans casually against the frame, his signature boxy grin in full effect.

“Hey,” Taehyung says smoothly, “we were thinking, it’s time for a tour of the house.”

Jungkook nods quickly. “Yeah, it’s big, and we figured you'd want to go for a walk anyway.”

Their energy is infectious, and you can’t help but smile at their enthusiasm. “I appreciate the thought,” you say, standing and brushing your hands on your borrowed shorts. For a moment, you hesitate — their enthusiasm is sweet but you feel like you'd be wasting their time in going along with them since you already know the house, and honestly, you trust them enough to tell them the simple truth. 

“There’s really no need though.” You pause, smiling awkwardly. “I’ve been here before.”

That brings them up short. Taehyung tilts his head, his brows drawing together. “You have?”

Jungkook looks equally puzzled. “When?”

“As a kid, I came here a few times.”

Their confusion remains. 

“My dad was Han Sehun.”

Recognition flashes in their eyes immediately. “Ah,” they say in unison, voices laced with understanding. For a moment, you see they seem somewhat apologetic too and you reckon they must know about what happened to your dad and your family. But they quickly return to their usual selves.

“That makes a lot of sense,” Taehyung says, exchanging a look with Jungkook.

You smile at their reaction. They seem so genuine, so easy to be around that it’s hard not to relax.

“So, you’ve seen everything?” Taehyung asks, his curiosity piqued.

You nod. “Pretty much.”

“Even the east wing?” he presses.

You hum, nodding again.

Jungkook folds his arms, his expression teasing. “What about the basement?”

That stops you. You blink at him, a little thrown. “Basement?”

Taehyung’s face lights up like a child with a secret. “Oh, you’ll love it.”

Jungkook nods, matching his energy. "It’s the best part."

 “Alright, lead the way.”

They each take a side and help you up, steadying you as you walk. "Come on, you’ll get full access to everything, just as Jimin instructed," Jungkook says as they guide you toward the kitchen.

“Full access?” 

“Yep,” Taehyung nods. “To all the equipment and stuff.” He raises his head, thoughtfully. “To be honest, I was a bit confused when he first said that, I didn’t know why he trusted you so much.” He glances at you with a smile. “Now I know.”

“Mhm,” you nod, only partially paying attention as you focus on walking. Truthfully, with each of the boys supporting either side of you, they’re actually making it harder for you to walk, but you don’t have the heart to say anything. 

The kitchen is alive with quiet activity. Staff members work efficiently, seemingly unbothered by your group passing through. Two of the housemaids you saw earlier at breakfast glance up with warm smiles.

"Already getting to see the basement?" one of them, a woman Taehyung calls Iseul, asks.

Jungkook nods with mock seriousness. "She’s special, Iseul. VIP access and all."

Iseul laughs lightly. "She is special," she agrees, her voice warm.

The other maid, Ju-ri, adds with a teasing smile, "Pretty too."

Caught off guard, you feel a blush rise to your cheeks. Laughing softly, you reply, "Thanks."

"Don’t scare her off now," Iseul quips, giving you a wink.

You laugh again, shaking your head. "No, it’s okay."

The casual, friendly banter leaves you feeling more at ease, and soon the boys lead you to the back of the kitchen, stopping in front of the pantry doors.

Taehyung gestures grandly. "There are three entrances to the basement. One is in the east wing, one is through a hidden door near the main west wing corridor, and this—" he points at the pantry, "—is the third."

Jungkook open the pantry doors and it seems like nothing out of the ordinary. Stocked with usual pantry items inside. Then, he reaches above the doorframe, pressing his thumb to a scanner you hadn’t even noticed. A soft beep sounds, and the back shelves click and slide away. 

You’re staring in awe. Sure, you’ve seen a lot of high tech stuff, naturally, but a secret entrance is never not cool to you. 

He glances back at you with a grin. "We’ll get your fingerprint added once we’re down there."

The stairs are narrow and steep, but the space opens up dramatically at the bottom. Your jaw drops as you take in the massive underground expanse, a space that looks like it belongs in a high-budget spy film.

To your left is a double door leading somewhere you can’t yet see. Beside it, a full-sized boxing ring dominates the area. Opposite the ring, punching bags line the wall, and behind them is an impressive array of gym equipment. The center of the basement boasts a large, padded training floor where two men are sparring hand-to-hand, their movements fluid and precise. A small group stands nearby, watching and analyzing the fight.

But it’s the far-right side that truly catches your attention. An indoor shooting range, sleek and modern, takes up a significant portion of the wall. Beyond that, you notice a glass-encased room filled with an impressive collection of weapons. 

Jungkook notices your wide-eyed expression. "Not bad, huh?" he asks, a touch of pride in his tone.

"It’s... incredible," you manage, still taking it all in.

Taehyung gestures expansively. "Alright, where do you want to start?"

You point toward the shooting range without hesitation.

"Good choice," Jungkook says with a grin. "You’d be pretty useless hand-to-hand with that leg anyway."

You laugh, playing along. "Hey, I could probably still land a punch — if the other guy stood still long enough."

Taehyung smirks. "We’ll put that to the test later."

As the three of you make your way toward the range, a few people glance your way, acknowledging you with nods before resuming their activities. 

You’ve reached the room with the weapons, and up close to the glass doors, the details of the arsenal are even more striking. Beyond the firearms, you notice other equipment neatly arranged within.

Taehyung steps forward and unlocks the room with his thumbprint on the scanner. The double doors open with a quiet hiss, revealing the full extent of the armory. You glance at Taehyung and Jungkook. They simply nod and smile, gesturing for you to enter.

As you step in, a thrill runs through you. It feels a little like stepping into a treasure trove. The room is pristine and organized, the collection mounted with care that borders on reverence. The range is extensive -- everything from pistols to snipers to submachines. The walls, initially appearing solid, catch your eye as you notice subtle grooves. “Sliding drawers?” you murmur. Taehyung nods, confirming your suspicion.

“Everything you see here,” Jungkook says, motioning to the wall-mounted firearms, “has more behind it. This is just the accessible stuff.”

Walking deeper into the room, your attention is pulled to the massive island in the center. Encased beneath glass, one half displays knives in precise rows, gleaming under the lights. Fighting knives dominate, including Gerber Mark II’s that naturally draw your eye. Among them, a few throwing knives are neatly arranged, compact and deadly.

The other half showcases an array of equipment. Some pieces are familiar — lock picks, small surveillance bugs — while others remain mysterious.

Leaning casually against the doorframe, Taehyung tilts his head. “Like what you see?”

“It’s impressive,” you admit, unable to hide your appreciation.

Jungkook steps inside, his hands in his pockets. “Take your pick.”

You glance between them, surprised. Jungkook notices your hesitation and answers your unspoken question. “It’s a matter of safety,” he explains. “Better to be prepared than caught off guard. You never know what might happen.”

“Makes sense,” you reply, scanning the selection. Finally, your eyes settle on a sleek semi-automatic handgun, similar to your trusty FNS Longslide.

Taehyung hums in approval as you pick it up, turning it over in your hands to get a feel for the weight.

“Good choice,” Jungkook says. “Let’s see how you do.”

The three of you step out to the shooting range. You grip the handgun tightly, familiarising yourself with its balance. The first shot surprises you with its recoil, a jolt of pain running through your bandaged wrist. Ignoring it, you adjust your grip and fire again. With each pull of the trigger, your aim sharpens, and soon you’re hitting the target with consistent precision.

Taehyung lets out a low whistle. “Impressive. Especially with that leg slowing you down.”

You smile faintly, catching your breath. “It’s a good thing I can shoot then..”

They let you stay longer, and as you continue, the act of shooting begins to feel oddly therapeutic. It’s strange, almost surreal, but as the tension in your body eases, you realise how much you’ve missed this sense of control and independence it brings.

Taehyung and Jungkook have joined in, turning the practice session into something of a friendly competition. At Jungkook’s suggestion, you try out a few unfamiliar weapons. One particularly sleek rifle catches your attention, and they guide you through its mechanics.

“You’re a fast learner,” Jungkook remarks, nodding in approval.

Taehyung steps to the side, retrieving a set of knives. “But can you do this?” he teases, lining up his target. With a flick of his wrist, the knife sails through the air, embedding itself in the bullseye of a distant dummy.

“Show off,” Jungkook mutters, smirking.

“Go on,” Taehyung encourages, handing you a knife.

You give it a try, and though your aim isn’t perfect, it’s respectable enough to earn a nod from Taehyung.

“You’ve got potential,” he says. “But it’s all about precision.” He demonstrates another throw, the knife hitting its mark effortlessly. “Forty yards, no problem.”

“Noted,” you say, watching his technique closely.

Before you can take another turn, a familiar voice interrupts. “You’ve got an injured leg and wrist, yet here you are.”

Turning, you see Seokjn walking toward you, his expression part amused, part exasperated.

You flash him a mischievous grin. “No rest for the wicked?”

He laughs, shaking his head. “That’s true enough. But don’t overdo it. It’s easy to get carried away with these two,” he adds, nodding toward Taehyung and Jungkook.

“Hey,” Jungkook protests, sending a knife flying across the range. It lands just off-center. He frowns, picking up another one. “We learn from our elders.”

Jin smirks. “I guess I’ll take that as a compliment. But seriously,” he turns to you, his gaze softening, “we should check your bandages. Come with me?”

“Sure,” you say, stepping off the range. As you walk with him, you glance back at Taehyung and Jungkook, who are already turning their session into a full-blown contest.

“Competitive, aren’t they?” you remark.

“You have no idea,” Jin replies, smiling.

“You seen this part yet?” He nods in the direction of the double doors.

You shake your head. “Not yet.”

“Ah, it’s not hugely exciting.” He opens the double doors, and you enter into a wide corridor. It leads off somewhere, but to the left is another set of double doors.

As you get closer, Jin opens the doors, and you see it opens up to what you can only describe as a doctor’s clinic. Your family home had something similar, but it wasn’t anywhere near as big.

“This place has everything you could need in case you get injured. Of course, Jimin has links with a few doctors stationed at different hospitals in Seoul, but we prefer to stay off the radar.”

Approaching a locked shelf, your eyes skim through the names of many medicines. “This is a pretty extensive collection.”

“Much needed too.”

Turning around, you glance at him.

“Like you said, no rest for the wicked.”

You smile faintly, acknowledging his humorous response. Though, really, it only has a dark meaning in this context.

There’s a small examination couch opposite the room. As you limp over, Seokjin meets you there and adjusts the back higher for you to rest.

Swinging your legs, you lean back comfortably and drag the hem of your shorts up.

Seokjin makes quick work removing the bandages. He cleans the wound and places a fresh dressing.

“It’s healing well.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Sitting forward, you glance down at your leg, grimacing when you see the gash.

“It looks worse than it is,” he says, placing a new dressing on it.

Slowly, you squeeze your muscles, only to inevitably wince when you feel a spark of pain.

“Well, you still need to take it pretty easy,” Seokjin says, placing a hand on your shoulder to lay you back before he starts on your wrist. “But it’s doing well.”

“How long do you think it’ll be until it’s fully healed?”

“If you look after it properly, enough rest, eat well, sleep well, I’d say three weeks, maybe four.”

Four weeks. That’s not bad. You nod, accepting your current fate. “Can I at least come down here occasionally?”

Seokjin shrugs, slowly unwrapping the bandage on your wrist. “For the sake of your sanity, to shoot only, and to see me of course.”

Your lips turn into a smile. “Thanks.”

Just as you sink back into the cushion, you hear a soft beep, and the doors slide open.

Jimin enters, his eyes immediately finding yours. “Oh, sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you say, still smiling from your prognosis.

“Jimin,” Seokjin says, glancing over his shoulder and nodding toward you. “Sit. I’m almost done with Y/N.”

Though Jimin commands everyone else around here, he takes that as an order and nods, walking toward the middle of the room. He looks your way again as he pulls his jacket off, placing it neatly over a chair. He wears a shoulder holster over his shirt, the black leather housing a gun you can’t see from where you’re sitting. He removes this too. “Is everything all good, Y/N?” Despite his usual calm, steel-edged demeanour, the concern in his tone is evident.

“Great,” you smile, glancing at Seokjin for reassurance.

As Jimin approaches, he begins unfastening a few buttons at the top of his shirt, standing beside Seokjin. You try not to stare curiously at the skin he’s just revealed, but you can’t help wondering why he’s here. Is he hurt too?

“Yes, she’s healing well,” Seokjin confirms. “However, we need to make sure she takes it easy.” He throws you a pointed look. “I saw you eyeing up the training floor.”

“Hey, I was just looking,” you reply defensively, though a small smile breaks through.

Jimin’s lips quirk upward as well. “I’m not surprised. I figured you’d like the basement.”

“It’s impressive. Do you spend much time down here?”

“I probably should come down to train more.”

Seokjin scoffs lightly. “You train enough, Jimin.” Despite his humorous tone, there’s an undertone of concern, a subtle weight that shows his elder brotherly care.

Jimin doesn’t respond, his gaze falling instead to Seokjin’s hands as they finish bandaging your wrist.

“Come on, sit,” Seokjin gestures to the space next to you as he stands to disinfect his hands at the sink.

Jimin obeys, unbuttoning his shirt further but not entirely. As he pulls the fabric off one shoulder, your eyes land on the bandage underneath.

It’s stained with dark red, almost brown – a clear sign of blood that has dried and seeped through.

“You’re hurt?” Your voice mirrors his earlier concern, soft and tinged with worry, as you lean forward to get a better look. Seokjin reappears with fresh gloves, moving efficiently to tend to Jimin’s wound.

Jimin’s eyes meet yours, and for a moment, something unreadable flickers across his expression. Then he smiles – a small, quiet curve of his lips, soft but sure.

It makes you pause, the way he’s looking at you. “What?”

As though caught in a moment of reverie, Jimin shakes his head. “Sorry. You just reminded me of—” He stops, shaking his head again, brushing it off. His gaze drops to his injury. “I’m fine. It’s only a scratch.”

His eyes linger on you a moment too long, and you feel yourself growing self-conscious under his steady attention.

Breaking eye contact, you look down at the wound. It’s not as severe as the one on your thigh, but you know it still stings. “That looks a bit bigger than a scratch.”

Your gaze shifts slightly, catching sight of another scar on his arm, just below the fresh bandage. Partially hidden beneath his shirt sleeve, it’s far more prominent and the significant scarring that you can see gives away the severity of what it once was.

Jimin glances down at his shoulder. “Well, it doesn’t hurt any more than a scratch, at least,” he counters lightly.

“When did it happen?” you ask, thoughts flashing back to the night in your home. You distinctly remember him injuring Minjun, but not himself. Then it clicks — he must have been hurt yesterday when he left to meet the Takahashis. “Yesterday?”

Jimin hesitates, just briefly, before nodding. “Yeah.”

“The Takahashis?”

His brows lift, surprised.

“I saw you leaving,” you explain. “Yoongi told me where you were going.”

“Ah.” Jimin exhales softly, his lips twitching into a small smile. “Yeah. It wasn’t anything planned. One of the Cheongs’ men who was in charge of the shipment  didn’t realize who we were.”

“It’s a mistake he won’t make again,” Seokjin interjects, his tone clipped as he cleans the wound with saline.

Jimin doesn’t flinch despite the pain, though you catch the way his knuckles tighten against the chair and his jaw sets. He inhales slowly, evenly, letting out a measured breath as Seokjin finishes.

You glance back at Jimin. “Did you kill him?”

He shakes his head. “No. He learned his lesson,” Jimin replies, his voice low and solemn.

Before you can ask more, Jimin’s phone buzzes sharply.

One look at the screen, and he picks up. "Yes," he answers.

You can make out the faint sound of someone speaking on the other end, but you’re too far to discern the words.

“Okay,” he says simply, ending the call and setting the phone aside.

Seokjin glances at Jimin, understanding passing silently between them. “I’ll greet them,” Seokjin says, already moving to wash his hands.

Jimin nods. “Thank you.”

Without another word, Seokjin leaves, the quiet sound of the door closing behind him.

Left alone, you watch as Jimin buttons up his shirt once more, his movements deliberate, though he doesn’t seem in a hurry.

“Did you get to pick out a weapon?” Jimin’s voice is soft, breaking the quiet hum of the room.

“Yeah.” You nod toward the table on the opposite side where your choice rests, placed with care.

He follows your gaze, his lips curving slightly. “Nice choice.”

“What about you?”

Jimin shifts, reaching down to pull a gun from the holster at his side. The semi-automatic pistol sits in his hand like it belongs there — perfectly balanced, steady, and natural, as though it’s an extension of him rather than just a tool.

“Nice choice,” you echo, your tone light but genuine.

He chuckles softly as he replaces the gun, securing the strap with a practiced pull. You take the moment to ease yourself off the examination couch carefully before standing.

“Do you always carry that around?” you ask, curiosity slipping into your tone.

Jimin adjusts the holster against his chest, his movements deliberate, precise. His gaze finds yours, and there’s a quiet intensity in his expression that makes the air feel heavier. “I feel like I have to.”

You nod slowly. Turning, you reach for your phone on the counter, the brief moment of stillness settling over the space between you.

He lingers, watching you in silence, before asking, “Did you ever feel the need to stay armed?”

The question catches you off guard, and you glance back at him. There’s something in his gaze — an honest curiosity that feels disarming. It mirrors the questions you’ve often wanted to ask him but never have.

“Yes.” You let the word sit for a moment, then add, “I had far less reason to, but yes.”

He nods, his lips pressing into a thin line. “I get it.”

You begin to walk, and he falls into step beside you. He stays close, his posture subtly protective, just as he had this morning.

“Did you ever have to use it?” he asks quietly, his voice barely above a murmur.

You shake your head. “No. You?”

“A few times.”

Your eyes turn to him, searching his expression, but his features remain unreadable. There’s a faint smile at the corner of his lips, masking the meaning of his answer, before he looks forward again. You don’t press him further.

As you approach the door, Jimin slows his steps. “Are you okay to head back to Taehyung and Jungkook?”

“Yeah,” you say, offering a small smile. 

“I’m sure they’ve still got a lot they want to show you.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” you chuckle softly. “I just can’t wait until this is all healed so I can do more.”

He stops at the door, turning to face you fully. “I remember you being pretty good at hand-to-hand combat,” he says, his tone soft with nostalgia. “Even when you were young, you’d knock me down with a solid roundhouse every time we played.”

You let out a quiet laugh, the memories surfacing. “Yeah, until you figured out how to block and floor me.”

Jimin chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah... sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” you reply, your smile lingering. Your gaze falls behind him to the far end of the corridor that you saw as you enetered earlier, and your curiosity gets the better of you,

“What’s down there?”

He glances over his shoulder, and when he looks back at you, the smile on his face is gone, replaced by something more guarded. “I can show you,” he says, his voice quieter now, almost cautious.

​​“Don’t you have a meeting?” you ask, glancing at him.

“They can wait.”

“Sure.”

Jimin hesitates, his expression shifting. “I have to warn you, though — it’s not pretty.”

You look at him, confused.

“Minjun is in there,” he says quietly.

Immediately, understanding dawns. It must be where they’re keeping him. You recall Jimin’s chilling words after Minjun killed Seojun. I’m going to cut you apart, and then piece you back together. And I’ll do it over and over.

“Oh.” The word falls softly from your lips.

Jimin nods, watching you carefully.

You think back to how merciless Minjun had been, how he killed Seojun without hesitation. It likely wasn’t the first time. He’s probably killed so many of Jimin’s loved ones, and part of you feels certain he’s getting what he deserves.

But another part of you is aware that this is something you're not familiar with. Your father had always shielded you from this side of your world, keeping the darkness at bay. Even after he died and you moved to Namwon, you only saw death once, and upon returning to Seoul and choosing to work quietly as you had with Yoongi definitely changed things — you’ve hurt and killed others in pursuit of vengeance — but this... keeping someone alive solely for revenge, dragging it out... It feels different.

The thought makes your stomach twist, and from the way Jimin studies you, you know he can sense it. He’s seen far worse than you ever have.

You remember the raw look in his eyes as he knelt beside Seojun’s body. The memory stirs something in you, a a flare of indignation takes away your hesitation.

Sure of your decision, you meet his gaze. “I want to see.”

Jimin’s eyes soften, his jaw relaxing slightly. “Okay.”

He extends his arm without a word, offering his support. You take it, leaning into his steadiness as you both move down the dim corridor.

At the end of the hall, Jimin unlocks the door with his thumbprint, and it slides open to reveal a larger room. The space is dark, with three heavy doors on the opposite wall, each one resembling a prison cell.

The room’s air feels colder. Two tables flank the sides, and as your eyes fall on their contents, your stomach churns. Knives, pliers, and other devices you wouldn’t even be able to imagine the function of.

“Y/N?” Jimin’s voice pulls you back. His hand gently covers yours where it rests on his arm.

You look at him and find his eyes round with concern.

“It’s a lot, I know,” he murmurs. “We can leave.”

You shake your head firmly. “No, it’s okay.” Your gaze drifts to a bucket beneath the table filled with something murky and white. “What’s that?”

Jimin follows your line of sight and hesitates before answering, “Salt water.”

“Salt to wound,” you say faintly.

He nods once, his expression unreadable.

Your attention shifts to the doors, noting the small window latches on each one. “Which one?”

“The middle,” Jimin replies.

Together, you move toward it. He stays close, steadying you when needed, until you reach the door. At the latch, he opens it for you, stepping aside to let you look inside.

You rise on your tiptoes, peering through the narrow glass pane. Minjun lies on his side, arms bound separately by chains that stretch to the walls. He’s been stripped to his underwear, his body covered in cuts, bruises, and welts. Little of his skin remains untouched. In the corner, a bowl of bread and water sits untouched on the floor. .

“Has he said anything?” you ask, your voice low. “About that day? Or anything else?”

Jimin nods. He watches your face carefully, his observant eyes catching the change in your expression. You want to know more.

“I’ll tell you everything,” he says softly as you lower yourself back to the ground and he closes the latch. “Anything you want to know. Soon.”

You frown, confused, meeting his gaze.

Jimin pauses, the weight of his thoughts flickering in his eyes. “I just need a little time to finalize a few things.” His voice is quiet, but steady, and the sincerity in his tone reassures you.

You nod, trusting him. “Okay.”

He holds your gaze for a moment longer before gesturing back toward the hall. “Come on,” he says gently. “Let’s go back up.”

“I’ve already paid more than half the price and given the recent units I supplied you with, I think you ought to let the rest go.” 

Jimin sighs heavily, jaw shifting as he tries to stay calm and not snap at the infuriating man in front of him. 

“Akira, I’ve already told you, the units you supplied me with were faulty, and I made that deal out of goodwill since I had no real need for them and you needed a buyer to help pay off your earlier debts with the Tanaka’s.”

“So?” Akira says, aloof. “I didn’t insist you buy from me, that was your choice, and I can assure you any damage to the guns occurred in your run, not mine.” 

“No, the guns were checked at the port and the whole shipment damaged upon arrival,” Jimin says through gritted teeth. “Not to forget the issues your men caused at the site. I’m not negotiating with you here Akira, you’re going to pay for the rest of the drugs you bought, otherwise the Takahashi’s will be cut off and your debt with us will triple.”

“Ooh, now that’s mean,” Yasuko quips, almost mockingly, turning around from admiring the glass ornaments on the shelf. 

Jimin ignores her, keeping his eyes fixed on Akira who stares right back at him, daringly. 

“Then I suppose we would have to cut you off as well,” Akira challenges, raising his head. 

From the corner of his eye, Jimin catches how Yasuko perks up at this, clearly only interested in the possible confrontation that might occur between the two. 

“The Jericho 941’s?” Jimin asks. 

Akira nods smugly, leaning back in his seat. 

But Jimin just shrugs. “That won’t be a problem.” 

Visibly angered by Jimin’s nonchalance, Akira stiffens up. “What?! Who else might supply you with them? I have precedence over the rarest materials in all of Japan and South Korea!”

“Clearly not,” Yasuko snorts, striding across Jimin’s office in her high heels to stand beside the chair her older husband is seated in, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“Get off me woman,” he hisses, oblivious to the way Yasuko rolls her eyes tiredly as he looks back at Jimin. “Tell me,” he demands. 

“Well he won’t tell you if you don’t ask nicely,” Yasuko gibes, taking a seat in the large arm chair, kicking her legs up onto the mahogany table and she remains staring at Jimin, a coy smile on her face. “But I am interested,” she says smoothly, “the Jericho 941’s are more than difficult to obtain and incredibly valuable, and they’ve been indispensable to you over the years so why would you so easily cut us off… if not for another seller?”

Jimin looks at her wordlessly. He understands why Akira keeps her around. She’s almost 30 years younger than the old man and when they first married four years ago, the marriage was clearly not one of love. Jimin assumed she was only interested in money but she comes from a wealthy family herself, and there’s nothing kind between her and Akira given they both cheat on each other all the time, so the only other reason she might’ve stayed would be power. 

She’s smarter than Akira, and much more sly too. This is evident since the reputation of the Takahashi’s has grown, making them one of the most well known families of Japan, though not the top. 

However despite Yasuko’s sharp skill, Jimin finds her incredibly intolerable. Maybe because she’s always trying to get him into bed with her. 

“I simply have no need for them anymore,” Jimin shrugs. “I’ve found better replacements that my men prefer to the Jericho’s, and so—” he turns to Akira sharply “—I have little need for you now, but I’ll gladly keep paying for the shipments of tac gear if you wish.” 

Nostrils flaring, Akira slams his hand onto the table. “That’s fucking bullshit. You’re full of bullshit just like your father was! Neither of you know how to keep up your end of a goddamn deal!”

The silence in the room is deafening, and Hoseok and Namjoon watch carefully between Jimin and Akira for any sudden movements. Even Yasuko takes her legs off the table, brows raised slightly as she observes Jimin, knowing her husband is too cowardly to do anything himself. 

Jimin scoffs lightly, his lack of emotion seeming dangerous to everyone else in the room. Pushing his seat back, he stands up tall behind his desk and glares down at the old man in his seat. 

“My father is no longer here, so to mention him is irrelevant,” Jimin says calmly. “You’re dealing with me, and if you’re not happy, I’ve already made it clear that I have no qualms cutting ties with you.”

Akira’s eyes narrow, the muscles in his jaw twitching involuntarily as he grits his teeth, his face flushing a deep shade of red.

Jimin notices, but pays no mind. Instead, he speaks slower, ensuring the threat in every word comes across loud and clear. “Should you still have a problem, I have an untouched supply of M249’s in one of my warehouses… I’m sure my men are dying to use them.”

Yasuko smirks, rising to step closer to Akira. “What d’you have to say to that, Takahashi?” she says, patronisingly. 

Even between these two families, Akira knows that the influence of the Park’s far exceeds that of the Takahashi’s. Without any real force behind him, Akira would be a fool to lose Jimin. 

Akira scowls at Yasuko, before shooting a look at Jimin. “The Lee’s might have more need for me then, and with their established trafficking organisation, one might find them to be more valuable than you,” he spits. 

Yasuko rolls her eyes. 

Gaze sharpening, Jimin fights back his urge to pull out his gun and shoot the old man in the balls. It’s not like he hasn’t already suspected Akira of working alongside the Lee’s. 

“Akira,” Jimin says coldly, clenching his jaw and doing little to hide his anger at the old man’s words. “As someone who has entertained your company for two years as a formality, I must tell you, your abhorrent disposition has a way of showing on your face and it’s most uninviting for those you wish to deal with… you ought to keep that in mind when you visit your new partner, Mr Lee.”

Akira’s face drops. 

“Oh come now,” Yasuko tuts, “let’s not be hasty—“

“Shut up woman,” Akira seethes, “the Lee’s have alre—“

“The Lee’s are corrupt and vile!” she interrupts sharply.

“We’re all corrupt!” Akira snaps back at his wife, the veins in his forehead looking as though they might pop. 

Yasuko pays no more attention to him and begins walking slowly to Jimin. 

“That’s true, but the Lee’s have less capital and their motivations are misplaced. Besides, we would be stupid to let go of someone as influential as Mr Park...” she walks behind his desk and trails her hand across his upper back, stopping right behind him to speak low in his ear, but loud enough for everyone to still hear. “...After all, he is the most powerful man in all of South Korea, mighty handsome too, and I imagine we’d be helpless without him.”

Jimin tenses, uncomfortable with the guileful woman standing so close to him. The overbearing stench of her perfume fills his nostrils, making him feel somewhat nauseous. 

Hoseok and Namjoon exchange glances, giving Yasuko a look of disgust. 

Pulling away from her, Jimin walks over to one of the cabinets in his office, and after a moment, he pulls out a file for his contracts with the Takahashi’s and throws it on the desk. 

Yasuko frowns and walks around to pick it up. Seeing what it is, she sighs loudly. “Jimin, I assure you there’s no need for this. Akira is being reckless and he’s just having a bad day—“ 

“Don’t talk for me wo—“

“I will talk for you since you’re fucking incapable of keeping your stupid mouth shut!”

Akira glares at her before mumbling under his breath and looking away resignedly. 

Jimin sighs, his patience running short with the Takahashi’s. He’s been witness to the husband and wife arguing many times before, and each time he wonders why he still deals with them until he remembers he needs to do everything he can to keep the Lee’s from gaining power and a stronghold in Japan; that’s something the Park’s have over them, and it’s proven most beneficial, especially in helping him get closer to his new goal. 

“Jimin, you’ll get the payment within two months, and I’ll get Hachiro to draft a new contract fo—“

“No need,” Jimin cuts in, taking a seat at his desk. “I’ll get Namjoon to draft the contract and I’ll be sending it over to you.”

Yasuko pauses, but eventually nods. “Very well, and since we’re here, we might as well discuss the terms in person.”

Jimin nods curtly, giving Namjoon a weary look as his friend approaches him. “You can discuss the terms with Namjoon,” he says to the disparate couple in front of him. 

Yasuko watches Jimin with sharp eyes for a few seconds but he remains uninterested, looking down at the desk while listening to Namjoon, and eventually she rolls her eyes, stalking over to the window as she too, listens to Namjoon. 

He reads out their current contract, and Jimin’s mind wanders off, recalling Akira’s comment on the Lee’s established trafficking organization. It infuriates him to still deal with Akira knowing he would consider cutting ties with him to go to the Lee’s, while knowing exactly what they’re involved in. Jimin knows that there’s little good in most of his businesses, but the Lee’s crossed a line that Jimin would never cross. . 

“Excuse me,” Yasuko interrupts carelessly, turning on her heel from the window and walking across the room, “I need to use the restroom but please carry on.”

Jimin frowns. “I’ll have Hoseok escort y—“

“No need,” she cuts him off airily, waving her hand. “I’m a very capable lady Jimin — of many things — and you might discover that one day if you wouldn’t be so uptight.”

Akira grimaces, giving his wife a detestful look, knowing what she was alluding to. “Licentious woman,” he mutters, though she pays no attention to him and exits the room, flicking her hair over her shoulder. 

Jimin ignores her comment and turns back to Namjoon to continue. 

The east wing feels different than you remember from years ago. The halls, once brooding and heavy, now seem lighter, more modernised. The subtle upgrades — better lighting, fresh paint, and the absence of a few foreboding portraits — make it feel less like a haunted memory and more like a polished and comfortable space.

Jungkook and Taehyung lead you through with casual ease, pointing out their respective offices.

“This one’s mine,” Taehyung gestures to a door with a clean, minimalist plaque bearing his name. Inside, you glimpse a space that is an effortless mix of his sophistication and eccentricity.

“And this is where I spend too much time,” Jungkook adds, showing his office just across the hall. His is sleek and efficient, a reflection of his meticulous nature.

Stepping across the hall, you look at some of the other open offices. “You make it sound boring.”

“Well, it can be, except when we’re out on jobs,” Taehyung replies with a smirk. “But Jimin doesn’t let us slack off.”

“He doesn’t let anyone slack off,” Jungkook quips as you continue walking.

As you round a corner, the sharp click of heels against marble draws your attention. A woman appears, striking in her elegance and deliberate in her movements. Her eyes sweep over you with interest, lingering a moment too long before a knowing smile curves her lips.

From your right, you notice Jungkook and Taehyung exchanging a subtle look.

“Well, this is a surprise,” she says, her voice smooth and laced with intrigue. “And who might you be?”

You meet her gaze. “I could ask the same about you.”

Her smile widens, as if she appreciates the response. “Fair enough. You’re certainly… unexpected.” She tilts her head, her gaze sharp as she studies you. “Quite pretty, too. What brings you to the Park Estate?”

You shrug lightly, keeping your tone as casual as your posture. “A visit. What about you?”

Her smile tightens slightly, her sharpness met with your calm deflection. “Oh, I’ve business here. Akira and I are discussing some arrangements with Jimin.”

Her eyes flick briefly to your leg where the bandage is peeking out below your shorts just enough to see.. “That injury,” she says, her voice faux-sympathetic. “What a pity. I do hope it hasn’t been too much trouble for you.”

You feel the weight of Jungkook and Taehyung’s gazes on you, both of them slightly tense. Her comment makes you wonder — could she have had something to do with the attack? Her general demeanour tells you she knows more than she’s letting on. It occurs to you that when Yoongi mentioned the Takahashis, he also named Akira. She must be one of them.

Still, you don’t let your thoughts show. Instead, you reply smoothly, mirroring her tone. “Not at all. Sometimes the most inconvenient things turn out to be the least important.”

Her eyes narrow slightly, but before she can respond, the sound of approaching footsteps pulls her attention.

From another corridor, Jimin and Akira appear. Jimin’s gaze immediately finds yours, and for a moment, concern flickers across his face. Akira, on the other hand, stops beside Yasuko and studies you openly, his curiosity evident. He says nothing, letting the scene play out.

Yasuko turns her attention back to you, her interest seemingly renewed. “You’re quite composed, aren’t you?” she remarks. “I imagine it takes a certain… calibre of person to fit in here.”

“Perhaps,” you reply with an easy shrug. “Or perhaps it’s just about knowing when not to overstep.”

Jimin’s concern vanishes as quickly as it came when he hears your response, a flicker of pride crossing his expression.

Yasuko’s eyes flash briefly with something close to irritation, but she quickly masks it with a chuckle. “Well, Akira, I think it’s time we take our leave.” She glances back at you one last time, her smile sharp and unreadable. “A pleasure meeting you. I hope we’ll speak again.”

“Likewise,” you say evenly, watching as she and Akira turn and walk away.

Jimin nods at Hoseok, who moves to escort them out.

Once they’re gone, your gaze meets Jimin’s, and he’s already sporting a small, amused smile before Namjoon arrives with a tablet in hand. Without another word, Jimin follows Namjoon down a corridor, his focus shifting to business.

Jungkook and Taehyung exchange glances before Taehyung speaks. “You handled that well.”

Jungkook nods. “She’s sharp, and she knows how to get under people’s skin. Not many keep their cool around her.”

“Who is she?” you ask, your tone light but curious.

“Takahashi Yasuko,” Taehyung replies.

“Oh.”

They watch you for a moment, but when you don’t ask anything else, Jungkook claps his hands together. “Alright, I’m starving. Shall we get some lunch?”

You nod, only now realizing just how hungry you are as a soft rumble from your stomach makes you smile lightly. It’s definitely time to eat.

Taehyung grins, gesturing for you to follow. “Agreed. Let’s go.”

A few days later 

You’re tired tonight, having wandered the estate gardens for longer than you should’ve. The familiar paths brought back memories, and when you found Jimin’s mother’s garden again, it felt like you’d stepped back in time. The door had been unlocked this time, unlike when you were a child, and you couldn’t help but linger there, memories returning and you found yourself thinking of Jimin often. You’ve barely seen him in the past few days, and his absence at meals hasn’t gone unnoticed. It’s left you wondering if he’s eating well.

As you approach your room, you spot Ara stepping out.

“Good evening, Miss L/N,” she greets, her voice warm but professional.

“Good evening, Ara,” you reply with a smile.

“I just had some housekeeping to do,” she explains.

“That’s okay.”

Her lips curl into a small smile. “I also added some of the items you requested — the fluffy socks.” There’s a playful gleam in her eyes. “I’m glad to see some things never change.”

You chuckle, a little caught off guard but also comforted by her familiarity — she definitely remembers you. “Well, I find comfort in the small things.”

“I’m glad,” she says gently. “We could all do with some comfort.”

“I agree. Speaking of, I was wondering if I could help you in the kitchen sometime?”

Ara tilts her head, a flicker of confusion passing over her face.

“Before I came here, I owned a bakery,” you explain. “I didn’t realise how much I’d made a hobby of it, but I’ve actually been missing it.”

Her expression softens as understanding dawns. “Ah. Of course. It’s Iseul who does most of the baking but you can join us whenever you like.”

“Thank you.”

There’s a pause before she adds, “I’m glad to see you’re doing well.”

“Thank you,” you say again, unsure of how else to respond.

Ara hesitates, then steps closer and places a hand on your shoulder. Her voice is quieter now, more personal. “I was very sorry to hear what happened to your family.”

The words hit with a bittersweet ache. All you can do is smile faintly.

“But I’m glad you’re here, Y/N,” she says with a gentle squeeze to your shoulder. Her kind eyes linger on you for a moment before she steps back, nodding slightly before continuing down the corridor.

Left alone, you exhale slowly, her words echoing softly in your mind. A faint smile touches your lips as you turn into your room, the quiet stillness wrapping around you like a familiar embrace.

Maybe, just maybe, you might find the comforts of home here.

4th February 2015

Jimin stood, sweat slicking his skin, his fists pounding against the punching bag. The rhythmic thud of leather meeting fabric was a welcome distraction, allowing him to release the built-up tension in his muscles. He’d been working hard, trying to tune out the growing noise in his head, but the weight of his father’s expectations never quite left him.

His phone went off on the bench across the training floor, pulling him from his thoughts. Pulling off his glove, he wiped his brow with the back of his hand and went to get it, squinting at the screen. It was his father.

Jihoon.

He answered the call with a deep breath, trying to steady his pulse.

“Jimin.” His father’s voice was curt, as usual. “Come to my office. I need to see you," he said, never awaiting an answer before cutting down.

Jimin pocketed the phone, cleaning himself off a little before he headed toward the East Wing, his footsteps echoing down the long, dimly lit corridor leading to his father’s office. 

As he passed, his eyes landed on Kwan and Duri, the two brutish men who had long been fixtures of his father’s inner circle. They were leaving the office, their hulking figures filling the narrow hallway.

They sneered at him, and though Jimin didn’t flinch, he felt a small unease he couldn’t explain. Normally, they’d just ignore him. This time, their gaze lingered.

Jihoon sat behind his desk, one arm resting on the chair’s armrest, a glass of whiskey in his hand. He didn’t bother looking up as Jimin stepped inside.

Jimin wasted no time with pleasantries. He stepped forward and asked, “Where are they going?” referring to Kwan and Duri.

Jihoon glanced up at him, the same cold expression on his face. “I have some work to be done.”

“What work?” Jimin asked, voice steady, but with a sharper edge than before. His years in the family had hardened him, and now, he was no longer the soft boy who had once been shielded from the grim realities of their world.

Jihoon’s eyes flickered for a brief moment, but his expression was impassive, betraying no hint of emotion. “Do you really want to know?”

“Yes,” Jimin spoke curtly, meeting his father’s gaze head-on.

Jihoon leaned back in his chair, taking a sip from his glass with his gaze unwavering. “You’ll find out soon enough."

Jimin studied him, his father’s mask never faltering. Any work his dad needs done is usually tasked to Jimin. This secrecy is something new and it plants a seed of suspicion in Jimin. 

“Why not tell me now?”

“I give the orders, Jimin,” he said, his tone final, “My men obey them. Don’t probe further.”

Jimin clenched his jaw, his expression neutral as always, but with a hint of defiance beneath. “So what order do you have for me?”

“You’re to come to Suwon with me, tonight. We leave at nine.”

Jimin’s face betrayed nothing as he absorbed the information. No questions, no further probing. His father had given him his orders, and he had learned long ago not to ask too much.

He turned to leave, but just as he reached the door, Jihoon’s voice stopped him.

“Bring your gun,” Jihoon ordered.

Jimin nodded once, his jaw tight, and left without another word.

The casino in Suwon was old, the neon lights flickering weakly. The walls were worn, the carpet stained, and the sense of decay was palpable. But the men inside didn’t care. Corruption seeped into every corner, like the thick, bitter smell of whiskey in the air.

Jimin knew this wasn’t just a place for gambling — there were worse things happening in the back rooms and he’d seen enough to know — but he also knew of his fathers plans to close down this place, so he wasn't surprised at its state.

He followed his father down the corridor, passing the few men who looked up briefly before realizing who it was and retreating back into the haze of smoke and bad deals. Jihoon moved like a shadow, and Jimin mirrored him, his gaze darting around, taking in everything. The walls were lined with old pictures and cheap wallpaper, but they didn’t care. None of them did.

They descended into the basement, the air growing heavier, thicker with the scent of money, sweat, and sex. The basement was modestly sized, but cluttered with tables and money-counting machines. Men sat around, counting stacks of cash with bags of white everywhere, while two girls leaned against the wall, their eyes distant, as though this scene was nothing new.

Jimin’s eyes flicked over the men, but he didn’t speak, he just stood there, waiting for his father’s next move. Jihoon was calm, but there was something in his eyes — something colder than Jimin had ever seen before.

At the far left, Kwan and Duri stood over a man in bloodstained clothes kneeling on the floor, his hands bound behind his back, a sack over his head.

Jihoon had entered without a word, his presence enough to silence the room. He nodded subtly, and everyone else in the room filed out — except Jimin, Kwan, and Duri.

Jihoon took a seat at a table, his eyes flicking to the bottle of whiskey in front of him. He uncorked it with a quick motion and took a long, deliberate swig. The silence in the room was deafening. He lit a cigarette, taking a deep drag as he looked at his son.

Jimin stood motionless, his gaze flicking between his father and the bound man, a sickening sense of anticipation churning in his gut.

Jihoon nodded at Duri, who stepped forward. With one swift motion, Duri yanked the sack off the man’s head. The man’s face was a mess of bruises, but his expression was eerily blank. He stared ahead, too weak to respond, too beaten to show emotion.

Jimin’s stomach coiled at the sight, but he didn’t look away.

Still, his father remained silent, content to let the tension hang in the air. Jihoon’s gaze flickered to Kwan and Duri again. Another nod. And the beatings began.

Jimin felt the bile rise in his throat as the sound of fists landing on flesh filled the room. It was never easy, no matter how many times he’d witnessed this. 

Kwan and Duri relished the violence, drawing it out — drawing pain out. Jimin knew the difference. He’d seen these men kill with their bare hands in seconds, so the fact they were prolonging this torture meant something far worse.

He didn’t know what though. He’d seen man’s life end in this way more than a few times, but he’d never been dragged out of Seoul for this purpose. 

Jimin didn’t watch the brothers. Instead, he stood still, fists clenched at his sides, his face a mask of detachment as the man’s weak cries echoed through the room.

Jimin looked at his father, eyes cold but filled with a quiet fury. “What’s the point of this?”

Jihoon didn’t even flinch at the question. He exhaled smoke slowly and looked at Jimin, his face impassive. “Stop them if you want.”

Jimin’s gaze flickered to Kwan and Duri. For a split second, he wondered if this was some kind of trap. But he didn’t care. He’d had enough.

In a fluid movement, Jimin strode forward and grabbed Kwan by the arm, yanking him away from the man on the floor. Kwan stumbled back, disoriented, and before he could regain his balance, Jimin delivered a solid punch to his face, knocking him back.

Duri reacted immediately, swinging a wild punch, but Jimin was quicker. He blocked it and countered with a brutal hit of his own. Duri stumbled back, and before he could retaliate, Jimin slid under Kwan's returning guard, delivering a series of strikes to Kwan’s midsection before locking him in a chokehold.

Kwan struggled, trying to headbutt Jimin, but Jimin drove his knee into Kwan’s leg, knocking him off balance.

Duri growled, eyes full of fury, but before he could launch himself at Jimin, Jihoon’s voice cut through the air. “Wait.”

Duri froze, glancing from Jimin, still holding Kwan in a chokehold, to Jihoon, who was watching the scene with a mix of amusement and a flicker of something darker.

Kwan’s resistance faded, and Jimin released him just before he passed out, leaving him crumpled on the floor, gasping for air.

Jihoon looked back at Duri. With a single gesture, he gave his permission for him to continue.

Jimin snarled, having had enough. In a swift motion, he pulled his gun out  and aimed at Duri's head.

Jihoon raised a brow, his expression unchanged.

“You think I won’t do it?” Jimin said, cocking the gun.

Jihoon shrugged. “I have my doubts.”

Jimin shook his head, his voice detached. “Do you forget you raised me?” He shot Duri in the knee with only a sideways glance, the bullet meeting its mark.

Duri shouted out in pain, his body slumping against the wall behind him, his face twisted in agony, while his brother moved to lunge at Jimin.

"Stop." Jihoon levelled Jimin's gaze and held up a hand to stop Kwan.

Kwan stopped short, pleading on his brother's behalf. “Sir, please.”

But Jihoon didn’t acknowledge the plea. “Leave. Back to Seoul, now,” he ordered, his voice cutting through the tension like a blade.

Kwan glared at Jimin but said nothing as he obeyed and took his leeave.

The atmosphere was thick with unspoken anger as father and son glared at each other. Jimin's rage was palpable, his jaw clenched, tight, while Jihoon stood unmoving, his face as cold and calculating as ever. Jimin could feel the weight of the situation — there was more to this than he'd been told.

Jihoon stepped up to Jimin, his face unreadable. “Do it,” he muttered, almost too softly. “I know you want to.”

Jimin lowered the gun, his gaze fixed on his father. “No.”

Jihoon laughed darkly, stepping back. “Then kill the other one.”

He turned toward the bound man, who was shaking now, tears streaming down his beaten face. “I said no,” Jimin repeated, his voice steady, his resolve hardening.

“He betrayed us, Jimin. Kill him.”

“I don’t know him.”

“You’re right. You don’t.” Jihoon's voice went quiet. He stared at Jimin, unblinking.  “But your mother did.”

Jimin froze. His mind went blank, but his eyes stayed locked on the battered man. His gut twisted as he felt a flicker of realisation.

Jihoon watched him carefully as he took a step closer to the man. “Oh, she knew him very well,” Jihoon murmured, before pulling out a gun and shooting the man between the eyes. The body fell to the floor with a sickening thud. “Well, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

Jimin’s blood ran cold. “Where is she?” he demanded, voice trembling slightly.

“Ask Duri.”

Without thinking, Jimin raised the gun, aiming it at his father. “Where is mom?!”

Jihoon took a step forward, his gaze intense. His hand slowly pushed the barrel of the gun away, directing it toward Duri, who was still slumped against the wall. “I told you. You should’ve killed him.”

Jimin’s breath hitched. He was in disbelief, his body trembling with barely contained fury. He glanced at Duri, then back to his father. The realisation hit him hard — Duri killed her.

Jihoon leaned in, his voice low, almost a whisper in Jimin’s ear. “He killed her.”

Jimin stood there, numb for a moment, the weight of his father’s words sinking in. His sharp, heavy breaths were the only sound in the room as his mind spun. His mother was dead. Duri killed her.

One glance at Duri told Jimin everything he needed to know  — for the first time, Jimin saw Duri cowering, afraid. But he didn't care. He killed her.

Jimin lunged at Duri, slamming the butt of the gun into his face with a sickening crack. Duri staggered back, his body reeling from the blow, but Jimin didn’t stop. 

His fists smashed into Duri’s face, his chest, his stomach. Jimin didn’t care that Duri tried to shield himself — his fists pounded down on Duri’s arms, his legs, every part of him that Jimin could reach. The sound of his fists colliding with flesh, the thud of Duri’s body hitting the ground, filled Jimin’s ears, drowning out all thoughts except for the burning, consuming need for vengeance.

Duri struggled, weakly trying to fight back, but Jimin was too fast. As Duri threw a wild punch, Jimin dodged it effortlessly, countering with a brutal knee to his midsection. Duri gasped for breath, his face twisted in pain, but Jimin carried on.

He grabbed Duri by the throat, lifting him off the ground for a split second before slamming him down again, his skull cracking against the concrete with a sickening thud. Duri’s body jerked, gasping for air, but the fight had already left him. 

Jimin’s heart pounded in his chest, his own blood thrumming in his ears, but the anger wouldn’t abate. It kept him moving, kept him hitting, until Duri’s limbs fell limp, his body crumpling into an unmoving heap on the floor.

Jimin stood over Duri, chest rising and falling in heavy breaths, his hands trembling from the violence that still pulsed through him.

His heart pounded in his throat, and for a moment, the weight of what he had just done pressed down on him. But it didn’t matter. The anger still burned inside him, filling the hollow space where any satisfaction should have been.

It didn’t come. His body still shook with rage, but as he knelt there, staring at the aftermath, something else surfaced. 

Tears slid down his face, hot and unwelcome. He wiped them away quickly, gritting his teeth, but they kept coming. 

Jihoon, watching silently, finally spoke, his voice cold. “You’re still weak.”

Jimin didn’t acknowledge him, the words cutting into him like a knife, but he didn’t care. He rose to his feet, refusing to let his father see through him. Without a word, he turned and walked away.

note. thank you so much for reading! please don’t be a silent reader, your feedback is what keeps me motivated to write, literally 🥹 have a happy new year too! 🫶🏼✨

also, I hope the fic doesn’t seem slow/boring, I appreciate that it might be right now, but it’s a big series and to make it as wholesome and entertaining as possible for you guys, I really need to lay the foundations… there is of course lots more action and exciting stuff coming for these characters ;) <3 xoxo