#to spite god and to spite my own inner demons

[springfallendeer]

@saburo-kyoto

You’ve been stuck here on tumblr with me for years, as really my only real constant. We don’t interact as much as we used too, but I felt it appropriate to point out how much your presence has helped me. I’ve spent a good while on here feeling alone. Because some years back, pretty much all of my friends left tumblr entirely. You’ve been the one constant. The one glimmer of light through a really dark time. Generally, the only one around to encourage me whenever I was trying to do something here. Best of wishes. Lots of love. Lets go running into 2023 with our arms flailing, ready to punch God in the face.

@zenkaiankoku 

You’re not the newest mutual here, but you’re the one that’s become a sense of comfort through all the shit in life. I genuinely enjoy talking to you and I genuinely enjoy the dumb BS we come up with when we do chat. I apologize for constantly keeping you up with my antics even though I’m sure we’re both just carried away and having fun. I love your take on the DCA and I look forward to goofing off with you more as we go into the new year. Lets see what sort of toomfoolery we can get into to disappoint the powers that be. Or weird them out. Either works for me.

@feralmoonlight​

Admittedly, we haven’t really spoken much (then again, we haven’t really known each other for long at all). But I wanted to give you a personal thank you. I’ve spent a while struggling and generally feeling isolated. With tumblr being a right cunt for some reason and keeping my blog from turning up anywhere, I was getting hard to find the motivation to do much of anything. You were the hammer that turned up to crack the wall I felt that I’d wound up trapped behind. Slowly but surely, I’m getting out there again. Into a public setting. I’m finding people to interact with and I’m having fun in a fandom for the first time in years. What you did was something very small, and ultimately it was probably just a casual thing for you. But it still meant a lot to me.

So a very heartfelt thank you. Whether we get closer or not is fine. What matters now is that things are getting better. And it started with you.

I feel like spreading positivity so.

If you get tagged here, here's a few messages from the person who tagged you:

You are one of the coolest people I know, if not THE coolest ever. I may not have known you for long, but it feels like my whole life, and I don't know what I would do without you. If I haven't met you my life would be fundamentally different. You may have changed, but I've changed with you, and I think we've both grown a lot, and for the better.

I love seeing you create stuff! Be it art, writing, headcannons, or something you DIY-ed, I know that any time you make something it's bound to be good. Every project you start is always very exciting, even if you don't finish it! Watching you create is always very fun.

I know you have bad days, we all do. Don't hesitate to talk to me if you need to. I'm always here, I'll always listen, and I'll always do my best to try to understand and help. Know that you'll always be loved and appreciated!

Here's to our friendship growing even more in 2023!

(ps. don't feel pressured to tag anyone back! This is just to let you know that you're loved and appreciated. And if you were planning on tagging someone, but see that they've already been tagged, don't worry! This will be a message from you to them. Tag them!)

[midnight-bay-if]

I'm so torn between ROs... Honestly can't decide between S, who seem to be like the greenest of flags here - they're human, and have no ulterior motive (I think?) to pursue the MC, apart from the initial spark of attraction and curiosity. Also their personality seems okay as well, they look like a mature person, someone with whom it is easy to communicate and just be around. Sure, they have their own inner demons, but come on - who doesn't? At least S try to not make their demons everyone else's problem.

But also there is N, who seem a little bit too much for me personally, but, oh, I do want to romance them just to spite Alek.

And also there is Umbra! Umbra, reappearing out of thin air, when they are needed. Umbra, who looks like an encyclopedia illustration of 'ride or die' term. Umbra, who follows us around like a lost puppy. A little bit creepy - in a sexy way - tall, dark, alluring puppy. Somehow the fact they do not realize how attractive they are and how much more they intrigue the MC by trying to keep us at arm's length, makes them even more attractive.

God save multiple save slots 🤣🤣🤣

Also, if there is some kind of petition about making Hunter a LI in the next book, please, sign me in. I really like their personality. They are surprisingly honest and do not try to cover their motives behind pleasantries. Yes, we do not know yet what those motives are, but still. I also love their 'no f***s given' attitude and the fact that they like to get on the MC's nerves a little bit. But at the same time they immediately back off when they see we are genuinely not in the mood. What a beautiful potential for the 'push and pull' relationship dynamic! To annoy each other, first out of spite and mutual irritation, using pet names as an insult, but slowly starting to anticipate this banter, making it flirtier and annoying not each other, but everyone else around... Starting to like each other's stubbornness and edginess... Chief's kiss.

Oh, but also, of you say Hunter is a shitty person, and there is nothing to redeem them, that's all right, too. If they are genuinely a bad person, and want to use our MC for whatever reason, and do not care for us as a person, then we can just ask Umbra to pay them a friendly visit and to (intimidate them to death)... I mean, poop on their porch or something. Like a good puppy they are.

Hi, anon! I’m so glad my evil plan to have everyone fall in love with each of my ROs is working, haha.

But yes, you are right about S being the greenest of green flags, lol. All the ROs have a journey to go through, but S is well in the depths of theirs already and has mostly come through the other side. I wanted at least one RO to be well-adjusted. That isn’t to say they won’t experience struggle in their route, but they will handle it with dignity and maturity.

N is definitely a little full-on, but they can also be good fun to write, at least, haha.

Umbra is a cutie. Definitely MC’s ride-or-die. Umbra came from a really personal place, so I can’t help but have a soft spot for them. They were my guardian angel exactly when I needed them, so now I hand them over to everyone else, too. Just in case.

I’ve been giving it a lot of thought since the discourse started about Hunter. Hunter is not a good person, but I think it will make for a very interesting dynamic if people decide to pursue him. By the time his potential romance comes around, people will be able to make a much more informed decision about him. So, although I couldn’t make him an RO in book one, I think it will work out for the best this way.

Thank you so much for the kind message :) It really means a lot.

[ilikereadingactually]

Asunder

Asunder by Kerstin Hall

i've been seeing a LOT of marketing for this book, so i was pretty excited to get around to reading it. i think there are many really intriguing ideas here! the world Hall has created certainly feels broad, and her characters are distinct and each have their own charms. I can definitely understand the kind of reader this book is for! unfortunately it didn't really make full enough use of the ideas and world and characters for me, and what was probably intended to be a heartbreaking ending instead felt somewhat confusing and a little bit flat.

the cosmologies and political/social divisions in this world are quite complicated: there are dead (or mostly dead) old gods, the Bhatuma, who were slayed by the newer demonic Ephirite, and humans might work either Bhatuma or Ephirite magic depending on their culture. the main character, Karys, has sold her soul to a horrifying Ephirite in order to be able to communicate with ghosts and see the inner workings of both kinds of magics by opening the Veneer. there are also clearly political divisions, marked by borders and by bias; Karys's status as a deathspeaker clearly holds different connotations to different secondary characters and in some cases puts her in danger, while other kinds of magic—like the Hounds, dog-like taxis with bowls for backs, and the Silkess, a giant spider that serves as a kind of train—seem ordinary, or at least not scorned. i wanted to know so much more about every single one of these elements! this is the sort of fantasy that drops the reader right in without a lot of exposition up front, which i personally adore, but that method requires eventual payoffs for the trust we're asked to extend. i was very willing to go with the flow, but i never felt that any of the underpinnings of this world were adequately explained or demonstrated.

then there's Karys, and the man she is accidentally sharing a body with, Ferain. their banter is very charming; as i've said on this blog before, romantic plotlines are not really my thing, but the slow building of trust and camaraderie between them will definitely appeal to many readers! we get to see bits of their backstories, particularly Karys, and i did grow fond of them both as the story went on. but the side characters who gather along the quest felt charming but a bit shallow to me; i wanted to know them, and wanted to like them, and by the end still felt that i didn't have a good handle on who they each were as people at all.

i have to say though, this was a pretty long book, but it was a speedy read in spite of my struggles with it! the plot moves along at a good clip, and it was compelling enough to carry me through. i often felt a bit unsure as to why plot points were happening, and how they connected to the rest of the story, but the prose itself was very readable and hooked me right in. that said, the ending really didn't do it for me, emotionally or narratively—but again, romance is not my thing, and the book took a much more romantic turn at the end, so ymmv.

i think my final takeaway here is that i had a really good time reading this book, even though it didn't blow me away—and i think for readers who are less invested in the whys and hows and more interested in fast-paced action, some h/c goodness, and the romance of it all, this will be a hit.

the deets

how i read it: an e-galley from NetGalley, as per usual these days!

try this if you: dig a big-feeling fantasy world, enjoy some demonic horror in your books, love a fraught and fun "there was only one body" situation, or are into bi tsundere heroines.

a line i really liked:

Marishka watched her eat, smiling slightly. She stroked her rabbit's pale ears. "I heard an interesting story this morning," she said. Karys swallowed a mouthful of dipped bread. "Oh?" "Apparently Scuttlers was visited by a Lure during the night. A naked woman rose out of the sea, tempting the good people of Psikamit to a dance below the waves." Karys finished the last bite of her bread, and reached for another piece. "I wasn't naked," she said.

pub date: August 20, 2024! it's out there, go forth and find it!

[beevean]

The more I read of your analysis on the main timeline of Castlevania, the more I'm thinking that Gabriel isn't a counterpart to any of the Belmonts or to Dracula. I'm starting to feel like he's a counterpart to Hector and Marie is a counterpart to Rosely. Especially because Marie and Gabriel's relationship is so similar to Hector and Rosely's, while Inner Dracul (the Entity that possesses the castle) and Gabriel have a similar relationship as Hector and Dracula. I need to do more information gathering on it, but I thought it was an interesting parallel.

You may be onto something!

Hector is written to be a foil to Dracula, similar to Alucard himself but not quite in the same way. Hector has been hurt and rejected by humans, and he fled to live in Dracula's castle, but he never wished to harm them. So, when he was forced to, he was appalled, and chose to flee risking death.

Dracula: Why did you betray me? Hector: Why did you unleash your hatred upon the humans? When you began slaughtering them indiscriminately, I had no choice but to disobey you. Dracula: You side against me... for the sake of humans? (angrily) Humans are not worth the air they breathe. I was simply cleansing the world. Hector: It is not your place to judge the worth of humans. Dracula: The powerful always judge the weak. The humans made their judgment of me, as well. Thus I sentenced them... to extinction. Sympathy is merely a form of weakness.

Hector clings onto his humanity after being considered a demon most of his life, when Dracula infamously cast his own humanity aside to spite God and his "decree of limited life":

"Please, I beg of You, I am human too!" "My nourishment is human life and mistakes. I will disappear when humans perish…"

Rosaly is absolutely meant to be Lisa's counterpart. Both of them, gentle women mostly dedicated to aiding the sick and those in need, fell in love with dark, morally questionable men and brought out the best in them:

And Isaac was uniquely cruel, in how he manipulated a mob to falsely accuse Rosaly of being a witch and have her executed, the exact same fate that befell Lisa and pushed his Lord to madness. Hector doing the same would have been the key in his and Death's plans: had they succeded, and had Hector killed Isaac in a fit of rage, he would have literally become Dracula, as the vampire's curse would have fully consumed him and his body would have been used to resurrect Dracula.

But while Dracula blamed the entirety of mankind for the actions of few, Hector ignored the role of the mob (again, no harm on humans), immediately understood that Isaac was the one behind it all, and focused on killing him and him only. And even then! Seconds before skewering Isaac for all he did, Hector connected the dots and realized that the thirst for revenge that had guided him throughout the entire game was not even his! He had fallen victim to Dracula's curse, which darkens people's hearts. Dracula himself had corrupted him from beyond the grave. So he managed to save himself... what Dracula couldn't do.

As a bonus, they kinda look alike :)

It's intriguing how Alucard, Dracula's own son, resembles Lisa most of all, because her heart lives on in him, and then as Arikado he changed his appearance to look nearly identical to Mathias, Dracula as a human.

Hector, though? Pretty much a young version of Dracula as a vampire specifically. Sure, it can be because Kojima has the hots for one kind of man and loves to draw him all the time... but you know :)

And, funnily enough, in English both Hector and Mathias were voiced by Crispin Freeman! So I believe the parallels were fully intentional.

Ehm. I may have gone on a tangent :P anyway, the point is, Hector is a "good" Dracula, similar to Alucard in that "suffered the same trauma, reacted better, humanity is kinda important actually" way but IMO more poignantly because Hector skirted close to villainy multiple times (and is kind of rougher around the edges lol) while Alucard is more heroic.

I don't know nearly enough about Gabriel to draw more conclusive parallels. From what I know from the most surface level of summaries, Gabriel seems to be Mathias if his grief and his rejection of God had been given more focus in LoI. Marie also sounds to me more similar to Sara Trantoul, Leon Belmont's fiancée whose soul is sealed inside the Vampire Killer. If you find some similarities with what I said here, feel free to explain them <3

[prettyheartjournal]

Bumps In The Road, Stars In The Sky - Today’s Metaphors

The 2 things I am considering are the inner and outer challenges and the present joys and desired joys.

I am constantly trying to make sense of my life - far too much, it’s an attempt to control and I’m aware of that. The truth is that it’s hard to let go, it’s terrifying to not know, but we can be in our own way and out of the very best intentions.

I am trying to befriend more emptiness - it scares me…but life has shown me that when you surrender, events occur that are enormous blessings. I am a very fearful person and I have been accused of it, but there are reasons for that and I am learning to love myself in spite of it, whereas in the past I despised it within me. That made me worse and it made me pretend to be more than I am, that is actually more dangerous.

In actual fact what I fear is a part of myself, it’s always the same…we externalise what is internal. I have a bit of an inner dictator - a slave-driver and that part of me makes my energy feel jittery and shredded. It’s almost physical. It can be hard to function in the outside world when that is triggered and I have hidden away for many years, and the more you hide, the more it grows…

Anyway these challenges - ‘the bumps in the road’ that are of many shapes and sizes…have made me search and put me on a mission to heal, and one day find inner peace and a way to progress. I can happily say that I have found coping mechanisms and truths that put these things in context, which therefore means I can even embrace these inner demons.

It’s not so much that life becomes easier, it is more that there are ways to deal with the challenges when they arise.

I was seriously frightened to go into the world of work once my children grew up and I was paralysed even though my finances were seriously dwindling and I was getting more and more into debt. I would stay up at night wide awake, with worry gnawing away at my insides, trying to figure out a solution. The problem is that the emotions made it very hard to think clearly and my menopausal age was causing mental fuzziness on top of everything.

Eventually I was so crushed by fear, I surrendered… I admitted that I had no fucking clue what to do, that I felt hunted down by my inner fear and I was sure to be ravaged soon. I opened to some of the possibilities that scared me and I tried my best to be courageous in the face of those options.

I let go of any grand but half-baked plans and admitted that it was beyond me at this time. I just lived my life day to day, still wrestling with a sense of impending doom while I tried to muster up faith. I remember the summer 2022 and I listened to 1 song again and again, it was Nick Drake ‘ The cello song’ and it brought me a sense of simpatico and therefore comfort in an inner dark place. The gentle spirit of the artist seemed to say to me ‘I understand, take heart’.

I came through those challenges very beautifully and miraculously and I know it was because I surrendered. I let go of my tattered attempt to control my circumstances and in my powerlessness I found God.

I lived my life day to day and a simple, ordinary- place inner-prompting made me act and it changed my life and remedied my desperate situation.

Miracles have continued to show up since then and the powers that be (definition irrelevant) are beautifully kind, generous and delicate.

Now I find myself in another fairly desperate situation although different and I am trying to reorient myself according to that past challenge and hence my desire to write today.

I am trying to remind myself that everything is going to be okay and there is a beautiful plan emerging for me and my 2 children.

I am retracing my spiritual steps of last year when everything gorgeously fell into place.

I still find myself a victim of fear at times, but I have better resources for dealing with those now and I will be sure to write about them at some point.

[lucifra-writes]

Did a writing prompt thing for the first time in forever and a half a couple years ago and just now got around to crossposting here. Response is under the cut.

You are a demon who ran away from hell and decided to live in the human realm in disguise all was going well until a someone breaks into your house kills your dog and steals your car. Without knowing what you are.

“I’m not really a proper demon,” said Luci, casually. “Not in the way that a lot of people think of. I’m… shall we say, I’m a bargainer.”

“Lady, what the fuck are you going on about?” snarled the gun-wielding man in front of her, gun shaking as it pointed at the ruin of where her left eye used to be.

“The… shall we say, the magnitude of your idiocy.” Luci’s hand passed over her face, and two unblemished, violet-irised eyes stared back at him, gore vanishing from her amethyst suit coat. “Which, in and of itself, is predicated on you understanding whose dog, exactly, it is that you killed.”

The gun dropped from numb fingers. “What the fuck are you?”

“Like I said, I’m not a demon, not properly. It’s more accurate to say… well, I’m a minor goddess. Not worth the time of the big names, like the Olympians, or Ameratsu and her clan. I hang out more with the little guys. You know, Morrigan, Quetzalcoatl, those guys.”

“I-I thought-“

“What, that there was only one god? Please. There’s as many gods as there are people to believe in them, and more besides. The Shinto ain’t all that far off, in the grand scheme of things.” Luci shrugged, then pulled a wooden chair from nowhere and sat down. “Of course, minor goddess is only really as good as saying ‘galaxy’, because there’s about as much variety in us as there is in them.”

“What are you on about?” The man’s eyes roamed the walls, searching for doors that had vanished at the exact instant that he had shot Ava.

“Trying to see if your friend can get in, save you, and drive off in the car he stole? Don’t bother, I’ll deal with him in his own time.” Luci leaned in, rubbing the very much alive head of Ava.

“What- what the hell! I shot your dog! I killed the mutt! So why-“

“Why’s she moving around now? Well, I’ll tell you.” Luci’s eyes began to glow with inner light. “Minor goddess is a measure of worship, not power. Ask me what I’m the goddess of, if you care.”

Luci watched his Adam’s apple bob. “What are you the- the goddess of?”

“Why, that’s an excellent question!” Luci clapped her hands, then stood abruptly, shoving the chair backwards.

“I’m the goddess of every petty evil you wish upon each other. The one who takes your little *malediciónes*, who makes them come just a little bit true, as I draw just a little bit of strength from your anger. You ever notice how you’re always more tired after petty anger than the really big shit?” Luci jerked a thumb at herself. “This bitch.”

“And why- and why would that make you so powerful?”

“An excellent question, with a rather straightforward answer.” Luci snapped her fingers. “Tell me, before I answer you, how many humans have ever lived?”

“Uh… something like a hundred billion?”

“Bingo,” said Luci, grinning with too-sharp teeth. “And ever since there were two of them, there’s been the exact kind of petty evil that I feed off of. In fact, I’m not even limited to Earth, either, I just… well, there’s always at least one of me on each planet that has things that know the kind of small hate that I subsist off of.” Luci leaned down to scoop up the brindled dog at her feet, who panted happily. “Thirteen point seven. Billion. Years. Every petty hate, every spiteful grumble, every evil eye… I’ve been there for all of it, and it’s all made me stronger.” Luci shrugged. “I was here at the beginning, and I’ll be locking up the universe with Death at the end.”

The man’s face was as white as a sheet.

“You know,” said Luci offhandedly, “it’s probably a good thing you killed my dog, of all of them. Gods who can just share their immortality with others, they’re few and far between, and they would be a lot more pissed with you than I am, for the simple fact that their dog isn’t coming back.”

“What does that have to do with-“ he began.

“It means”, interrupted Luci, “that you get a quick and painless death. No permanent harm done, and all that.”

“That doesn’t seem like-“

“Yeah, well, play stupid games and you win stupid prizes. Tell… who are you, Saint Peter? Yeah? Okay, tell him he still owes me my copy of Spaceballs back. It’s a bitch pirating that flick every time some other immortal wants to borrow it.”

“Wait, but what’s gonna happen to Bill?”

“Your friend?” Seeing his nod, Luci continued. “Not much. I mean, I don’t really use the car, so I’m not that pissed. I’m gonna send one of the neighborhood kids out to get it, make a little money, that sort of thing, and he’s gonna have a rash of bad luck for a couple of months, but he’ll be fine, when it comes to me. No more or less my focus than an ordinary person after that.”

He sighed. “Good. Now, babe…”

“Yeah, no, fuck that. Remember the movie I asked you to remind Saint Peter about!” Luci snapped her fingers, and he vanished in a flash of purple light, as if he never existed.

“Alright, Ava, time to go get ready for the barbecue tonight. Those burger patties aren’t gonna cook themselves!” The dog yipped, and Luci turned to the wall, which suddenly had a door again, and opened it again.

—————————

Really wasn’t expecting that, lol. Then again, my muse does have a tendency to get away from me.

This applies the term “Demon” loosely, but since a lot of pagan gods were turned into demons by Rome, I figure this is close enough.

—————————

Okay, so. I wrote this… a couple years ago, at this point, and it’s been floating around elsewhere, but I figure I should probably crosspost it over now. Cheers!

[nitw]

Can you explain what you mean with misinterpreting Chara? I've always been confused about that character and you seem to have a pretty solid read you alluded to in that post about Snowgrave.

of course!!! as your local chara defender since the ripe age of 13 i hope you don't mind me doing a small essay on this. please bear with me tho because i sometimes can't articulate my thoughts well on stories that deal with philosophical themes ;;

UHHH SPOILERS FOR UNDERTALE AND DELTARUNE CHAPTER 2 BELOW

first let me make a few things clear so i don't have to repeat myself a bunch:

only tobias radiation fox himself has The Word of God privilege when it comes to things that haven't been explicitly confirmed in the games yet, EVEN if they're strongly hinted at. don't take anything i say about the plot as more than firm personal interpretation based on the info we have right now!

i cannot stress this one enough: undertale is a game that was never meant to be experienced from a singular perspective/mindset. the genocide route doesn't JUST exist for the sake of "enjoy your personalized edgy fuck-you run for being a serial killer in a video game", every one of the total 93 endings (look it up) in this game exists to reflect the player who achieved it in one way or another. the genocide route is really no different from any of the others, because in the end, no matter what, the player who decided to go through with the things they did will ALWAYS be rewarded for it. the question the player will have to ask THEMSELF afterwards is "is this what i wanted?"

OK MOVING ON-

let's think back to the little but vital amount of info we have on who chara actually was, like, as a person. we know pretty much all of this due to 1) the tapes in the royal lab 2) asriel's additional dialogue at the end of true pacifist.

while we'll never really know why frisk fell into the underground, asriel tells us explicitly about chara's hatred for humanity, and how they jumped from mt. ebott for "not a very happy reason"; supposedly a suicide attempt. chara "never talked about why", it's left intentionally vague because their reasoning isn't really what matters. what DOES matter is how this is relevant to the genocide run, ESPECIALLY with the new obvious parallels in deltarune's snowgrave route. i'll get to that.

when you finish the genocide route, chara will talk directly to the player in person. they talk about your (you AND chara's) success, despite "their plan (having) failed". this "plan" is one they secretly made with asriel when they were both still alive, as revealed from the tapes. chara got terminally poisoned from eating buttercups (whether this was fully intentional or not is still kiiinda up for debate), and while on their deathbed, asriel says that he doesn't like the plan anymore. yet despite his fear, he still fused his soul to chara's when they died.

the actual plan here was to become a monster powerful enough to slaughter humanity, specifically chara's home village by their own dying request - this all ties into their mysterious spite and hatred mentioned before. but due to asriel's resistance against chara, their fused body was killed by the humans - which eventually led to the creation of flowey, and asriel's inner demons after death.

but back to the genocide route. during chara's monologue to the player, they give us a LOT of important exposition. basically:

at the very start of the game, frisk's own determination is literally what brought chara's soul 'back to life'. we know how human and monster souls are different and how "determination" in this universe is something only humans possess, so it makes sense why it awakened them. i won't get into the whole narrator theory because i feel like it's not that relevant to my point (it's fun tho), but chara is always present from the moment frisk falls down, and stays regardless of the player's actions.

if you managed to finish undertale at all you'll already kinda know this (thanks sans), but the EXP and LV you (can) gain throughout your journey aren't just numbers on your screen - they're genuine in-universe manifestations of power that increase when you kill someone. and in genocide, chara explains how they were directly affected every time your stats rose. they could FEEL their spirit growing stronger for every life you decided to take (REMINDER THAT THE GENOCIDE ROUTE CAN BE PERMANENTLY STOPPED AT ANY POINT BEFORE SANS. YOU DID THIS.), so is it really that strange that they felt the desire to grow even stronger?

and once you do reach this point, there's no return. all that excessive time and effort you put into killing off a civilization OBVIOUSLY has some consequences. the consequences HERE being - if you paid attention to chara's life story - you took advantage of a traumatized child who was already at the breaking point and making irrational choices on their own, and you led them to believe that this was what they needed!

this is VERY MUCH SUPPORTED by the snowgrave/weird/pipis/whatever route of deltarune chapter 2 that was discovered about 2 days ago as i'm writing this. i'm gonna go ahead and assume you know what happens in it and i don't care to go into details if you don't, since this post is about chara, but surprise: THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO NOELLE, TOO! even in a completely normal run, noelle makes it clear multiple times that she wouldn't mind staying in the dark world; that in spite of how scary and dangerous it seems at times (something something horror movies), she started to feel at home. POSSIBLY even more so than her ACTUAL HOME, with her dying dad and negligent mom. like chara, noelle is a young person with low self esteem and her fair share of trauma, even if it's not as apparent. and like in the genocide run, the player's desire to ruthlessly kill in order to grow stronger affected her already-poor mental state.

someone else already pointed this out specifically, so don't credit me for it, but the main difference between chara and noelle is that noelle managed to break free in the end.

if you're like Most People Who Played The Genocide Route Back In Like 2016 and you played the genocide route with no further knowledge about it than "i have to follow these specific steps to get a harder fucked up version of the game", i don't blame you. you didn't actually know what you were doing in the end, did you? but did the outcome disappoint you, make sense to you, or did it just leave you with an empty/confused feeling? i love undertale because it WILL force you to think about things like that. i mean, if the result wasn't gonna affect you in SOME way, why would you go through all of that trouble in the first place? you had your reasons, as the player of any video game where you know your choices matter. would you have carried out the entire thing if you knew what was coming? the answer to that is only relevant to yourself.

[tsuki-sennin]

It's Vicin' time!

The final form episode! It's comin' in hot! Burnin' like a son of a bitch! A certified Dad moment is within our grasp! Y'all know what time it is!

-Hiromicchi, my friend Hiromicchi!!!

-"Yeah, I kinda had to duck out of the plot for a long time... landed a role in the Ouran stage show. Sorry about your family issues, by the way. Life sucks. :("

-...my boys are really having this chat while soaking wet and naked jhlkkg

-"Hiromi! Hiromi! :D"

-Same, Love-chan.

-Ohhhhhhh, thank god, the civilian casualties have been minimized.

-You really kicked your ass into gear, Hiromicchi!

-Dom Toretto would be proud of your belief in your family, Yukimi.

-Damn, George's rage is palpable. ...I'm actually pretty proud of his progression from "Sinister Mad Scientist" to "Autistic man doing his damnedest to keep his shit together in spite of his friends' and all of humanity's lives being in danger."

-Ooooooh, there he is. Dad's comin' in hot.

-Rose Murder. ...Kyouji Murakami feels a shiver down his spine from his place in hell.

-"I will wake him up."

-I really like Akaishi's little glass earth thing.

-Sooooooooo, that's terrifying.

-Well, he's not exactly wrong about the "plaguing the cosmos" part. People idolize an elitist credit-stealing douchebag who thinks shooting cars into space is a reason to suck his dick.

-"Bro, are you sure about this? This is a terrible surge."

-"Weeeell... okay. I really fucked up."

-Man... I really feel for George.

-"Ah c'mon, I'm not gonna die! I'm gonna look cool for my son, for once."

-"We are just a normal family you'd see anywhere." ;;

-OH JESUS CHRIST THAT'S A LOUD ONE

-Yeah Buu-san, I feel that. ...or perhaps, Irabu oughta be more appropriate, now that I finished Vail Legacy.

-"Yeaaaaah, you're probably gonna die."

-Man...

-George Karizaki's really feeling it.

-I have a really poor relationship with my own father, but unlike George and Masumi, it is well and truly irreparable for reasons I have absolutely no interest in divulging to you. I want these two stupid, cruel men to make up and reach an understanding.

-Man... Genta's really about to put it all on the line.

-Oh look, it's Hikaru-kun. Epic.

-Yeeeeeeah,

-Zenryoku Zenkai! #HustleVice!

-Bitches be killin' it out there!

-Oh hey, Dai-chan!

-OH THAT'S RIGHT

-That Rex Deadman from the first episode was Hiromi's inner demon! I totally forgot about that!

-So, having no inner demon really DOES make you self-destructively overzealous...

-OHHHHHH SHIT KARIZAKI

-THAT'S HIS SON'S ROCK

-YOOOOOOOOOO

-H-hey, don't just leave Genta there!

-So, could these fights with Jeanne and Aguilera be considered a "date"?

-OHHHH SHIT VAIL

-So, Vail's interest in Genta is looking a lot less like an abuser-turned-stalker and more of one of self-preservation.

-Ohhhhh, he's misty.

-"Uhhhh... yeah, you guys have Sakura here, you got this! Vice and I will be right back, don't worry about it!"

-Ooooooooh, Dad's dyin'!

-Jesus Christ, this is horrifying.

-Hooooooly shit, Ikki smashed it with his bare hands.

-Damn... Ikki's family is truly what cares about more than anything else. Going the extra mile.

-OH SHIT IT'S FLYIN' TO GIFF

-Oh hey, Ptera Remix. Epic, I missed you.

-Oooh shit!

-Ooooooh, it's two magnet-y things!

-I am thou! Thou art I!

-Big Bang! Come On! Giffard Rex!

-LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

-Ouuuuugh, that's a spicy jingle.

-No one can stop us now!

-Let's waste these motherfuckers!

-YEAAAAAAAH

-OOOOOOOOOOOH A WHOLE SQUAD

-Gatakiriba Moment

-Yeah, this is awesome

-Let's stomp this bitch!

-Final Remix!

-Is that a ball? OHHHHH BECAUSE IKKI USED TO BE A SOCCER PLAYER OOOOOOOOUGH MY HEART

-Here it comes! The banger of a finisher!

-3!

-2!

-1!

-Hot damn! That was baller as fuck. ...no pun intended.

-Wait. Did we? Did we win!? We closed the big Giff Hole!

-Oh, of course not, we got several episodes left.

-Kagerou? Are you in there somewhere?

-"Maaaan, you're so serious, are you even our dad at this point."

-Aaaaaaaah, Papa's back!

-...y'know, I have a sneaking suspicion that Junpei Shiranami was always as goofy as Genta. It's just that Vail and Noah somehow shut his whole personality down.

-Uncle Buu-san :)

-If only Dai-chan were here...

-That's our whole stamp sheet! Done and dusted! Man... I'm gonna be really missing our Igarashi fam when Geats comes around.

-Weekend rise up!

-Man... I wonder why the Reiwa era keeps having its secondaries be played so hard. First was Fuwa being pinballed all around on all fronts by MetsubouJinrai, ZAIA, and even Aruto... then was Rintaro spending a whole 10 episodes with a massive inner struggle with an organization he views as his family... and now Dai-chan, slowly going sicko mode without Kagerou there to give him some much needed selfishness.

-I don't expect this thread to be resolved next episode, but I sure hope we see a major change at least.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Slashers / Horror Villains as: Animated (Children’s) Movie Villain Songs

+ A Nightmare Before Christmas 

First of all, its mostly Disney. Second of all, I hope you know that this was a struggle for me. 

Also, note, Bubba will be the only Leatherface in this post and Billy and Stu will be the only Ghostfaces. There is Norma Bates though, so sort of a consolation. 

There are links to videos on YouTube ^^

~~~

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher / Ghostface: Playing With the Big Boy’s Now (Hotep and Huy, Prince of Egypt) 

Well... they’re part of the ‘big boys’, now! They are part of the Slashers group that, uh, ‘inspired them’. Imagine instead of Egyptian Gods, they’re chanting Slasher names. 

[HUY] Pick up your silly twig, boy [HOTEP & HUY] You're playing with the big boys now! Ha ha ha ha!

[EGYPTIAN PRIESTS] By the power of Ra Mut, Nut, Khnum, Ptah Sobek, Sekhmet, Sokar, Selket Anubis, Anukis Hemsut, Tefnut, Meshkent, Mafdet... 

Chop Top and Nubbins + Bubba Sawyer / Leatherface: Kidnap Mr Sandy Claws (Lock, Shock and Barrel, Nightmare Before Christmas) 

I mean... they aren't Drayton’s minions, but they are like this XD 

I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door And then knock three times And when he answers Sandy Claws will be no more

Yes you're so stupid, think now If we blow him up to smithereens We may lose some pieces And then Jack will beat us black and green

Kidnap the Sandy Claws Tie him in a bag

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray: In The Dark Of The Night (Rasputin, Anastasia)

Mystical man? Check! ‘Betrayal’ (As far as he sees it)? Check. Made them pay? Check; I think Nica, Sarah and all the other families he destroys throughout the franchise can attest to that. And ‘One little girl got away’? Well Andy isn’t a girl, but yeah. Check. 

I was once the most mystical man in all Russia When the royals betrayed me they mad a mistake My curse made each of them pay But one little girl got away Little Anya, beware Rasputin's awake

Drayton Sawyer: Don’t Fall In Love (Forte, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas) 

Its such a crochety, unessessarily rude way of describing relationships to someone! I mean, I understand completely and resonate deeply with the desire to be alone and not be responsible for anyone else, but- come on! Beast doesn't share your view! Let it go! 

Its just like Drayton’s reaction to Bubba having a crush. Super cool video too! 

As soon as your heart rules your head Your life is not your own It's hell when someone's always there It's bliss to be alone

And love of any kind is bad A dog, a child, a cat They take up so much precious time Now, where's the sense in that?

Freddy Krueger: No More Mr Nice Guy (Rothbart, Swan Princess) 

A man with an uncomfortable relationship with the main female character pretending to be normal and not homicidal for a while before unlocking more power and letting there inner bad guy loose and taking great pleasure in it? Sounds familiar. They also have a similar vocabulary- except of course Rothbart is rated G. 

I'll become that nasty, naughty, dirty, spiteful Wicked, wayward, way-delightful Bad guy I was born to be

Lyin' loathesome, never-tender Indiscreet repeat offender No more Mr Nice Guy That's not me 

Inkubus: The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind (Professor Rattigan, The Greatest Mouse Detective)

‘Inkubus’ is literally a movie about him listing all his crimes over the centuries and messing with the police force because he has a bone to pick with a detective. Sounds pretty similar to me! Listen to the song! ^^

Now comes the real tour de force Tricky and wicked, of course! My earlier crimes were fine for their times But now that I'm at it again An even grimmer plot has been simmering In my great criminal brain! 

Jason Voorhees: Despicable Me (About Gru, Despicable Me) 

I... this is all I could think of!! But the more I listen to it and read the lyrics... it f i t s Jason so well! XD Please just let this slide; I know Gru isn't really a villain but he is at the start!! Let me have this. 

Why ask why? Better yet "Why not?" Why are you marking x on that spot? Why use a blow torch isn't that hot? Why use a chainsaw? Is that all you got? Why do you like seeing people in shock? But my question to you is "Why not?" Why go to the bank and stand in line Just use a freeze gun it saves me time. I'm havin' a bad, bad day It's about time that I get my way Steam rollin' whatever I see, Huh, despicable me I'm havin' a bad, bad day If you take it personal that's okay Watch, this is so fun to see Huh, despicable me

Jennifer Check: Trust In Me (Kaa, The Jungle Book) 

She’s a succubus demon. Tempting boys into a safe-feeling, docile state so she she can strike is her thing. 

Will cease to resist Just relax Be at rest Like a bird In a nest

Trust in me Just in me Shut your eyes And trust in me

Mayor Buckman and Granny Boone: Savages (Governor Ratcliffe and the Colonizer’s parts, Pocahontas) 

Obviously, because of the (Inaccurate) historical relevance of both movies (Different time’s, same terrible prejudice,) and also because there is definitely a very cult-ish feel about both Governor Ratcliffe’s song and Buckman’s leadership. How easily they’re able to gather support from their people for the most horrible reasons. How horrifying it is to audiences and historians. 

They're only good when dead They're vermin, as I said And worse

They're savages! Savages!

Barely even human

Savages! Savages!

Drive them from our shore! They're not like you and me Which means they must be evil We must sound the drums of war!

Michael Myers: The Gospel Truth II (Muses about Hades, Hercules)

In a Disney movie, Michael would have others sing his song about him as he goes about his silent, determined walking XD 

If there's one God you don't want to get steamed up It's Hades 'Cause he had an evil plan He ran the underworld But thought the dead were dull and uncouth He was as mean as he was ruthless And that's the gospel truth He had a plan to shake things up And that's the gospel truth

Midnight Man: Oogie Boogie’s Song (Oogie Boogie, Nightmare Before Christmas)

A song about a “Gamblin’ Boogie Man” is perfect for the Midnight Man! He and Oogie could be pals. 

Woah! The sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man Although I don't play fair It's much more fun, I must confess When lives are on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fine

Norma Bates: Mother Knows Best Reprise (Mother Gothel, Tangled)

Norma is soooooo so so so unbelievably manipulative towards Norman (And Dylan. It just works better on Norman) and this song absolutely presents that. She can go from sweet, loving mother to spiteful, heinous bitch in two seconds if Norman or Dylan don't do what or react the way she wants them to. 

Likes you? Please, Rapunzel, that's demented

This is why you never should have left! Dear, this whole romance that you've invented, Just proves you're too naive to be here Why would he like you? Come on now, really! Look at you, you think that he's impressed? Don't be a dummy Come with mummy

Pamela Voorhees: My Lullaby (Zira, The Lion King 2)

In a opposite approach to a villainous mother to Norma, we have Pam, who was heartbroken by the camp councillors letting her son die and vowed to get revenge. She didn't know she was teaching Jason to be the Crystal Lake killer like Zira did, but she did, and the whole song does have her kind of feel to it also. 

Sleep, my little Kovu Let your dreams take wing One day when you're big and strong You will be a kingI've been exiled, persecuted Left alone with no defense When I think of what that brute did I get a little tense But I dream a dream so pretty That I don't feel so depressed 'Cause it soothes my inner kitty And it helps me get some rest

Patrick Bateman: Cruella De Vil (Arthur, 101 Dalmations) 

Never before was there a song that described audiences reaction to watching Patrick living in his daily life and hearing his thoughts better then this one. 

Cruella De Vil Cruella De Vil If she doesn't scare you No evil thing will To see her is to Take a sudden chill Cruella, Cruella De Vil

The curl of her lips The ice in her stare All innocent children Had better beware She's like a spider waiting For the kill Look out for Cruella De Vil

Pennywise (Both): You’re Only Second Rate (Jafar, Return of Jafar)

Mostly for the video and Jafar’s energy in this scene actually XD So many transformations, so many tasteless puns! I was going to give this to Freddy but its the closest thing to Penny I could think of. 

Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size I'll make a great escape It's just a piece of cake You're only second rate You know your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up Let me pontificate upon your sorry state You're only second rate

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt: Hellfire (Judge Claude Frollo, Hunchback of Notre Dame) 

A nasty filthy man who think’s he’s in the right despite being the biggest creep and monster ever? Mhm. 

*Note: I honestly didn't notice the deformed baby, Quasimodo/Thomas link until the day after I wrote this. Don't know how I feel about it. I mean, Hoyt is actually nice, in his way, to Thomas so the connection isn't totally there but onwards:

Beata Maria You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue I am justly proud

Beata Maria You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd 

End of Post! 🌼

(Bonus’ under the cut) 

I did think of other connections which I obviously didnt landed on but still have merit! Here! 

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher: ‘Gaston’ was considered, but that would have just been a joke XD I don’t think Stu is quite as obsessed with Billy as LeFou is with Gaston. 

Chucky: Friends on the Other Side. Obviously! That link was actually what inspired me to make this post. In The Dark of Night fits to a T though. 

Freddy Krueger: You’re Only Second Rate! Ah, its perfectttt. But No More Mr Nice Guy fits better. If I ever do a Slashers as Disney Villains post, he’ll be Jafar for sure. Or Hades. Or Scar. Or Oogie. Probably Hades. You know what? Without the gore and blood and explicit sexual references, Freddy could be a Disney Villain himself. Its not like Disney hasn't towed the line before with perverted villains. >_> (Jafar and Frollo) 

Jason and Pamela Voorhees: Mother Knows Best! Of course. 

Jennifer Check: Love is For Peasants (Barbie Island Princess) Because Jennifer thinks like this: 

Men? <<< Literally anything else. 

Patrick Bateman: How Can I Refuse? (From Barbie Princess and the Pauper) XD If Patrick were a kids movie villain, he would totally join the ranks of corrupted usurpers pretending to be trustworthy royal advisory staff. Also ‘Let It Die’, that little interruption part of another song that O’Hare sings in the Lorax and ‘How Bad Can I be?’. 

[raijinden]

     meta.001 on the subject of the FUTURE OF INAZUMA && THE CONCEPT OF ETERNITY

     ( warning !! heavily references information present within the 2.1 Omnipresence over Mortals questline as well as the Imperatrix Umbrosa Act I: Reflections of Mortality questline !! )

      “ what I take from these stories is not so much the content itself, but what they represent in terms of the effects of time upon Inazuma. -- in accordance with my wishes, the Shogun did her best to create an eternal nation. a nation that, in theory, should remain entirely unchanged over time ...

     i'm wary of any and all change, but I do not wish for my pursuit of eternity to stop human lives from changing for the better. “

     as ei makes abundantly clear through the visitation of her own city with the traveler and paimon at her side, she finds herself at a very critical crossroads in her life for a number of subjects . she must re - evaluate what eternity means to her and how she will continue that pursuit, what she must do to ensure her citizens remain protected, yet able to change and evolve further-- and in the light who she and the shogun are . additionally, she is coming to terms with the modernity that her nation has become since the last time she walked upon it .

     the greatest and most apparent impact that affected bael during the cataclysm of khaenri ‘ ah was, of course, the passing of her sister . you could call this the ‘ icing on the cake ‘-- having dealt with the untimely passing of the tengu general sasyuri during the inazuman civil war between followers of narukami and followers of orobaxi, the corruption of the oni swordmaiden chiyo which would result in her turning her blade upon bael, and the sudden disappearance of the revered kitsune saiguu . inazuma had ever been jointly ruled under baal and bael since the archon war reached its conclusion, founded and maintained for 1500 years of unchanging and relatively peaceful rule until these events, in fairly rapid succession, would assail her . with but one confidante to confide in in the form of the newly appointed guuji yae miko, yet no desire to load her troubles and problems onto someone else, she would decline so rapidly, and so terribly too .

     eternity has ever been the domain of the inazuman archon, and it was bael’s firm belief that it ought not to change-- not with the reverence and respect and adoration of their god that she saw in the people . and so she decided to let that eternity live on, to take up the mantle of her beloved sibling, to take her name and her role and pretend things were as they were not-- she had played the part of ‘ baal ‘ many a time during archon gatherings . but oh, she found quickly that she was not prepared to be a true ruler . she was a warrior, the age - old kagemusha who hid in the shadows, who paraded with a hundred demons and rained judgement lightning upon the enemies of the shogunate . she was no shogun ... no ruler, and there were many a time she would falter before her council-- ‘ what would makoto do ? ‘ ‘ how would she respond ? ‘-- for it was makoto who was a ruler, and ei who was a warrior . but though the two differed greatly in their style of leadership, what did not change was the love they held for the people .

     and so it was that she, in recognizing her failings, constructed the ideal ruler . one who could fearlessly and faultlessly seek out ‘ eternity ‘ for herself and for her people, all the while bael could return to her position of old-- to hide in the shadows . once again there was a figurehead of power that she worked and supported from behind-- though she was ever reminded when speaking to the Shogun that it was she who was supported instead . and thus, with knowledge blessed of her last living companion, she vanished, self - imposed sealing within her blade to ever remain strong of spirit in contemplation of the eternity she sought, while the Shogun would keep safe the people .

     and for 500 years, she sat in utter silence . the shogun would not ever speak to her, did not ever need to seek council for she was stalwart, and ei was fine with that . she had faith in what she created, in the blessedly simple directive ‘ seek eternity ‘ .

     so when it is that the traveler is the first being she sees in hundreds of years ... she is confronted once again with the confusion from before . the shogun could not have faltered, and she had not been inquired by the one without, so why then, were there those who opposed her with all their might ? but still ... she remains faithful in the shogun, and remains contemplative . contemplative even as the traveler returns, and yae miko herself appears within the plane of euthymia and she loses a duel for the first time in her long, long 2000 years .

     and contemplative she returns, demanding a period of ‘ rest ‘ in which she grows introspective, changing the shogun’s directives and debating what the proper step forward would be, until the traveler, once again, seeks her out and invites her out .

     as with so many other things in this eventful year of hers, it is the first time in 500 years she has returned to the mortal plane . and oh, by the gods, how it changed-- she is so overwhelmed she damn near returns to her blade . ( for retrospect, let us consider the 500 year difference in our world:

          the 1500s were rampant with disease, conquest and invading of ‘ uninhabited ‘ or ‘ barbaric ‘ lands is very much the norm in spite of its despicable nature-- there is no separation of church and state in most places, and in fact, religious systems are something of an overbearing force on societies at large . if we were to step through a door that transported us to the 2000s, say, current day, would it not leave us shell - shocked ? to go from that, to a world where food can be stored for days, weeks on end, can suddenly be warmed up in a little box-- to see a means of communication with people all around the world a manner of seconds ? now certainly, teyvat is no earth, there are not towering builds of metal, save for the factories of snezhnaya as we know of now, but it is still such a monumental difference ) .

     to step out into this world, to walk a street she rules over, but has never seen in her life-- it is unbelievably eye - opening to ei, who has spent half of millennium staring at the same, run - down torii gates on a backdrop of bleak scarlet . her concept of eternity is shaken unto its very core-- and it only further is turned on its head as she sees how her people live .

          everyone is very uptight and fearful to her-- and she has said before that she is no fan of lofty titles . she sees tomoki, finds delight in his stall and the dango milk he has-- but she learns that he is unsuccessful because people are afraid to try something new-- they are afraid of CHANGE, and so they do not even know what they miss out on . her curiosity in yae’s other pursuits brings her to the publishing house wherein she learns of her people’s passions . they are no books or literature she has ever before written-- and she has such interest in each book that is presented to her--

she’s intrigued by the liyue martial arts story, even claiming that she would dearly delight in sparring with the main character and that she has a respect of his sense of justice

the daily life romance story presents her with the concept of challenging decisions with regards to love-- something she does not quite understand in her claim that one could simply choose all seven interests-- which she is told would make a poor love story, and she realizes she has a different view on ‘ love ‘ than her people

finally, perhaps the most interesting one, the reincarnation adventure story . it gives a very clear cut view of how at least some of her subjects view her, or rather, the shogun . she is not in the least insulted, but instead applauds the creativity and imaginative writing ( also noting that publications are approved by yae miko, and this one too must have crossed her path ) .

     even in spite of this ‘ eternity ‘ that she seeks, having believed for so long that it meant stagnation and unchanging in the face of time, the people have changed . and, perhaps more interesting to her, is that the Shogun did not view this as a threat to eternity-- so why then, should she ?

     finally, she is given an inside look at her own executive system, the inner conflicts within the tenryou commission in the face of the kujou clan’s treachery . with the traveler at her side, she enters the mountain - side base and bears witness to a sight she had seen just weeks before-- her people attempting to curry favor to themselves by providing falsities .

      “ if you still think you can copy the fatui's strategy of providing me with deceptive information to produce flaws in my judgment... “

     yet, where the kujou clan head did this with the firm belief that the almighty shogun would simply triumph over the fatui anyway, the takatsukasa clan head did this knowingly in the belief that his clan would benefit . even with the Shogun’s unwavering and eternal gaze, there are still things that cause her people to suffer . she sees this now for her own eyes, in her own body when she stands somewhere the shogun would never have even considered . and so she decides then that she will return . there may be a time for her and a time for the shogun, but she will be among her people again . whether that is simply traversing the tenshukaku grounds or descending into the city proper to ensure she always has an understanding of her people that is not based on what others tell her .

     “ the Shogun does not make mistakes — she is incapable of doing so. but i, as ei, would like to offer my apologies. “

     she recognizes that she has made a grave miscalculation, but for the first time in her life, she has elected not to hide away for it, but to take responsibility for it . though the traveler is not the one she has wronged most severely, the fact that she apologizes is incredibly significant . she understands that she has failed-- that it was not the Shogun who failed inazuma, but that she did in not understanding how much it affected her people, how much it was not eternity for her people she was seeking, but a selfish wish of her own .

     she recognizes too that one, single apology to the only person who managed to best her in combat is not even a drop in the ocean of work she has to make up for 500 years of ignorance . on the conclusion of her story quest, she states that she will return to her plane, but that her solitude will not last much longer .

     ei convenes with the Shogun, on the subject of reprogramming, and the nature in which they might jointly have a place within the body that was once only the Shogun’s . when she concludes her ages long period of reflection, she begins her work in earnest -- she has had 500 years to ponder the nature of eternity, and how it effects both herself and her people, and that period of time is at its end . she spends well upon a week in deep concentration, remembering the years before the grief, remembering the words of the kitsune saiguu, of torachiyo, of sasayuri and most of all, of makoto . she is no born ruler as her sister was, she is a warrior, but for inazuma that she loves with all that is left of her heart, she will learn to be the ruler that it deserves, had long deserved for 500 years .

     the second fear that was born of the cataclysm of khaenri ‘ ah, was the fear for her people . because khaenri ‘ ah was godless, its people sought to elevate themselves in that place, and they became so wise, so very, very wise . oh, how celestia did not like that . and so it was that ei and her sister went to fight in a war for a cause which they did not believe in, and it was not the sister bathed in blood that would pay the price, but the sister the people looked to that would . especially in current day, ei deathly fears celestia and the whim in which it acts upon-- what if that temper one day fell upon inazuma for their successes ?

     long ago, ei’s eternity hinged upon stagnation because if the people did not ever change, then celestia would never find reason to decimate them, to take the people that held what fragments of her heart remained from her . now she realizes that no matter what, people will change, they will soldier forward . why then, she thinks, should they feel the weight of a god who opposes this inevitably so staunchly . if the day should come that celestia turns their hellishly divine gaze upon inazuma with fire in its hands, ei would now sooner die fighting tooth and nail for their ability to grow ever stronger and ever greater rather than opposing and weakening them for celestia to come and sweep away what remains .

     and so she is different now . she walks on shaky legs for a future that she does not know if she believes in wholly yet, but it is a future that her people look upon with eagerness in their eyes, and so the electro archon’s eternity will align .

     eternity is a ceaseless and unattainable thing for humans, but for ei, it is the belief that every sun she watches raise will do so over the people she has protected even though they are not the people of yesterday, and the people of tomorrow may not be them . the people change, this is something she cannot control, time goes on whether she likes it or not . but no matter how many times the hands on a clock spin, they will always and eternally ever be inazuma’s people, and she will always give blood and blade for them .

     and the only moment that that fact will cease to be true will be the day that celestia hurls a blade of judgement through her chest and cuts away at the one who no longer bears their ‘ gift ‘ .

     “ inazuma shines eternal “

[ramblingguy54]

SUF’s Double Hitters & Importance

Damn. Just fucking damn. As a dude in my late twenties, who’s seriously passionate about romance, but still has yet to actually get into having any genuine experience with it, this episode seriously hurt to watch. Christ, look at how utterly crushed Steven is here. The animators did a fantastic job in displaying how defeated this kid feels. These two new episodes were so wonderful in exploring Steven’s trauma and how much that has ended up defining his whole existence from the very start. This moment of Steven breaking into tears may honestly be on my top list of heartbreaking scenes from his character arc. He’s looked toward fusion with Connie as his last hope for genuine escape from those years of internal pain, which naturally she turned him down for now because it’s all kinds of unhealthy. Besides the obvious fact that they’re both still too young for such a heavy commitment like marriage, Steven’s not in a right state of mind whatsoever and is impulsively looking for any “be all end all” resolution that will solve all his problems with a 180 heel turn.

Together Forever was intended to be Steven’s breaking point for his emotional issues and by God did it execute that idea to the fullest 100%. All that existential dread is written over Steven’s face when Connie tries to put off studying to help someone who needs a shoulder to cry on and so much more. Rather than make it about himself once more Steven defaults to thinking of her needs instead of confronting the bigger issue in front of himself, which is topped of by this soul crushing look of a fake smile. Seriously, that look is enough to make me cry because I know that expression all too well. That’s the kind of smile signaling someone at their wit’s end, who doesn’t know what else to do anymore, but resort to what he’s been doing since the earlier seasons, being gritting his teeth and staying quiet about it all. He’s a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.    

“I think all these experiences have been subjecting your body to a harmful amount of stress and that’s affecting your ability to respond new forms of stress in a healthy way. You’ve been dealing with genuine threats from such a young age, your body is now responding to smaller threats, as if your life were in danger.”

We all knew Steven’s therapy session was coming and it put the spotlight on, you all guessed it, surrounding his heavy childhood trauma ranging from the Gem War, insecurities about his mother Pink Diamond and how that reflects onto his own self-esteem, and many other iconic unfortunate scenarios earlier in the show, like when he saw Amethyst shape-shifting into Rose to spite Greg for “taking” her away from them all. What a shocker amirite? Seriously though, these new episodes wonderfully delivered on getting to see Steven suffer from not dealing with his emotional baggage properly, due to the environment he grew up in and how that affected him in turn to not further speak up about it, considering Steven was always viewed to be so much more than just another kid. We’re now finally seeing all those consequences boil over from all that crap and I love so much that Future is making a big point to illustrate all this. I can’t begin to describe how happy I am they referenced Storm In The Room here because that episode is another seriously important one in Steven’s PTSD journey of facing himself. I answered an anon ask awhile back mentioning how terrific this episode was for Steven’s characterization, so it’s very nice to see them give a big nod to that moment with him venting in Pink Diamond’s room.

Future is a beyond noteworthy addition to Steven Universe’s original story because it doesn’t just sweep all the previous shit that Steven has endured underneath the rug without looking back on it. SUF’s big vocal point is all about the kid facing his inner demons, which is something I deeply appreciate with how down to Earth the writers are making this additional series in general. Honestly, looking at SUF as simply an additional series is such an understatement in hindsight, given all the important stuff they’re tackling here. When I heard about Future’s announcement before it first started airing, I wasn’t sure how necessary it was going to be overall and could simply be ignored, but nope.

Future’s extremely important for those who want to see Steven face his past and not have it be overlooked, by simply saving the universe from enslavement and especially destruction. Color me impressed by tonight’s new episodes.

[diariesofaplutonian]

Pluto in the 1st and 12th houses

Pluto in the 12th House natives have deep, rich inner lives, but often suffer privately from intense mental battles and struggles. These people are often intimately acquainted with the notion of suffering. They feel pain very heavily and if not careful, they can let it consume and ravage them. I’ve noticed a lot of these natives are intensely talented or artistic or creative, in fact, a lot of musicians have this placement; that being said, natives also seem to immensely struggle with severe depression for they are easily overcome with unfortunate life events and stresses/stressors. Sometimes, it may feel as though life has it out for them. They may grapple with despondency or chronic depression. These individuals can struggle to remain positive when it seems their faith is always tested, but these individuals are also gifted with extraordinary willpower and intense focus, discipline, and dedication. They have the power to make all their dreams come true; their superpower is their relentless ambition, and the responsibility they feel to the world to prove themselves: this is their number one obligation and promise to themselves. They hardly ever fail in this act: proving themselves. Many of them deeply struggle with insecurity and may have an inferiority complex or suffer from imposter syndrome when it comes to their beliefs in their talents or abilities. They battle against these fears, doubts, and anxieties when they consistently demonstrate how bold, how fearless, how determined, and how gifted they are. They do, however, often internalize their failures as proof of some kind of self-issue, some inadequacy, some inability to do good, some lack, proof of bad performance, etc. They need to realize that even when they feel subpar, the work they do is optimal, and the world can use their gifts, so they should embrace all the skills they have to offer. One of the downsides of this placement is that while these natives often fall in love with potential, they most often fail to see their own. They also need to stop doubting the possibility of an outcome and start finishing what they start to reap the efforts of what they produce, so even if they do manage to not live up to their own exceptionally high standards, they will know it is because it wasn’t the right project and not that they weren’t the right person for the job. Sometimes, they can truly be their own worst enemy; they need to stop letting their inner voice undermine their relationships and their lives. They build walls sky high around their heart because they don’t want to be let down, and if their defenses are up, they falsely believe their security can’t be threatened. Many carry deep wounds stemming from unhappy childhoods, wounds they have lodged deep inside of them. Many have never fully recovered from or properly addressed traumatic life experiences. May have an aversion to or distrust of not only modern medicine, doctors, and healing practices, but a distrust of hospitals, therapists, psych units, and counseling, as well. May have issues talking about their deep-rooted fears.

Very private, complex individuals. Vigilant because they’ve experienced harrowing episodes or encountered visions they should have never had to bear. May have been witness to shocking events they shouldn’t have seen. May often find themselves in the wrong place, wrong time scenario. Often seeks out danger. Parts of them are incredibly reckless, daredevil-like, driven, and sensation-seeking. Finds not comfort, but intense pleasure in thrill and high-risk activity. Constantly chasing a high—not necessarily drug-induced—and pushing the boundaries of themselves. Constantly defying self-limits. Often suffers from loneliness and feels exiled from the world or even rejected or unaccepted because they’re too weird or dark or unusual or frightening, in a way that they don’t follow the rules, or they’re the black sheep of some sorts, but more often than not, their isolation is self-imposed. Well-versed with their shadow side. Trust doesn’t come easy to them, but once they have it and it remains unbroken, you will have their loyalty for life. They also reward loyalty. Their friends/confidantes are their closest allies. Harbor many secrets. Has addictive habits. May have grief due to private dilemmas. Feels uncomfortable with but unafraid of death. Intense control issues—if not properly resolved, this can lead them to be very controlling. Intense love affairs. May have a hard-knock life, even if successful career-wise, with many ups and downs. May have difficulty regulating or controlling their emotions. May struggle to find inner peace. May question their purpose or belonging. May feel trapped or powerless in situations involving spiritual matters—i.e. God—or earthly/temporal matters, such as life or death. May feel tested and challenged by unpredictability but thrive off of it or need an element of unpredictability in their lives to feel useful, inspired, or creative. Creativity is often linked to deep pain, in these natives. It is often an emotional outlet for them. These natives feel uncomfortable when they feel seen by others. Incredibly resilient, brave individuals. They lack a strong self-concept. Identity is weathered by forces the natives cannot always see but are often held back by. Struggles with deep sadness and loss or grave emotional pain at times. Feels strongest when not experiencing the uncomfortable emotion of regret—this emotion is the most difficult for them to confront/contend with. They’d rather feel nothing at all. Natives may have a stark view of themselves or a black and white picture of the world. Their internal or external reality/world may be harsh to them or unlivable.

Pessimistic at times, prone to cynicism. Intensely probing, thoughtful, solemn, demonstrative, reserved. Much internal activity. Acutely sensitive to their environments—emotional/psychic and physical. Senses, intuits, and often feels other people’s emotions. Perceives others’ objectives or goals, and others’ thoughts of them. Has an instinctive grasp on human nature, especially of the shadows and the darkness and all else that is germane to the human condition. Suffers a lot in the world, sometimes by their own hand/as a result of their own doing (self-inflicted pain is often their coping mechanism). Needs better coping skills—healthy ones. May self-harm or turn to self-destructive behavior when in a rough spot. May be the victim of poverty during youth. May duel themselves. Often subject to high stress. May believe in the existence of supernatural entities, i.e. ghosts, aliens, demons, etc. Very active imagination, dark thoughts that they attempt to run away from. Seeks refuge in solitude. Silent by choice. Natural observer. Knows more than they seem to know. Omits on purpose. May have unusual proclivities, i.e. engage in activities considered taboo or NSFW. In touch with their “wild” side—the parts of themselves most people are uncomfortable with. Relishes in what makes people uncomfortable. Finds joy and incomparable beauty in that. Attempts to fill a void caused by a state of incompleteness. Strives to assuage that with superficial emotions, relationships or vices, but it only leaves them more desperate and more empty, feeling more deprived. Always analyzing themselves and others. Danger of too much self-analysis. May be prone to self-violence (real or metaphorical). Intrigued by distressing situations, moodiness and violence. Doesn’t like nosiness. Prone to internal self-conflict and fanatical obsessions. Strong sexual appetites. May feed into lies or deceit out of self-preservation. May disguise selfishness through seemingly selfless sacrifices/acts, which are used to gain the favor of someone so they can do their bidding. Can be forceful or coercive at times. Very fixed and untenable at times. Learns a lot about life through painful experiences and private ordeals or feelings of being in crisis or having suffered identity or existential or health crises. These obstacles only serve to make them stronger and build/solidify their character, however. Adversity feeds and replenishes their spirit and helps them sprout wings, though, it feels like swallowing poison. They may, however, experience bouts of mortal illness or encounter near fatality as a result of such ordeals and life tests/tragedies, which is a testament to their individual strength. Clings to a feeling of independence and armors themselves with it. The first to say “I can do it on my own”—needs, not wants to make it through life saying they did it without help. Needs to realize that everybody needs help sometimes and they can’t indeed do it all on their own. There’s no shame in needing help or needing to take a break sometimes. Emotional scars must be dealt with. May be malicious or spiteful/vindictive when angry, which can come back to them in the form of karma. May face/encounter many near-death experiences in their lifetime or remember past lifetimes of violence or violent death. May have vivid and possibly violent dreams or suffer from nightmares. May be haunted by the past in the form of past lovers, past unresolved traumas, past relationships/friendships, past actions, past bills, past secrets, etc. Their past is never unburied, it seems. It always comes back to bite them. Seduced or entranced by the notion of revenge, for some, others by the idea of creating something permanent, whether via their work or via they, themselves.

Pluto in the 1st House natives inspire intense feelings from others—positive or negative. Public reaction to them is nearly always extreme—they are either worshipped or conspired against, loathed and plotted against. They inspire very polarizing reactions from people. For as many people rooting for their downfall, or for as many haters as they have, they have admirers who believe they can do no wrong. They attract massive fanfare and devotion from those who do support them, who often support them for life in a ride-or-die fashion. These individuals tend to suffer many private betrayals and public backlashes or attacks on their character and reputation. They are often subject to nasty rumors and lies made up by those who hate them or want to see them “ruined” or “destroyed.” Most of it is not true, but these attempts at character assassination often successfully taint their image or sully the general public’s perception of them. They often have to win them back. May have to admit or show weaknesses or give the allusion of groveling in order to gain public support again. Often loses themselves and has to recover themselves. If not careful, they can destroy themselves, as they are very self-destructive people. May turn to drugs or negative coping mechanisms such as gambling or alcoholism or other recreational drug use when feeling defeated or down in life. Doesn’t really know how to address painful, negative emotions without being swallowed by them. Often ruin themselves trying to cope with the pain they feel internally that they can’t escape. Paranoid and untrusting, but for good reason. A lot of people close to them have shady intentions or are trying to use them or manipulate them or get close to them for deceptive motives. May be subject to blackmail by friends turned enemies, lovers turned enemies, and so on, more than actual perceived enemies/foes. Are often “ruined” by those closest to them, though, while these attempts may seem victorious, those with Pluto in the 1st house or Pluto conjunct Ascendant often triumph in the end because they rule comebacks. If anything, being “canceled” or reviled only motivates them. They will succeed at all costs, and no hate can prevent that. These natives possess a controlled image. Part of them wants to be known, more of them wants to be unknown, or at the very least, they wish to control what you do see of them. They are often obsessed with power, their own and that of others. Gaining power, losing power, reducing someone else’s power, etc. Feels most empowered when they are in control. Needs to feel like the boss or the one running the show/pulling the strings. Needs to feel like an authority figure.

Often is very close to a mentor or father-like figure that tends to be older and wiser, often in the field of business or coaching. May manufacture an enigmatic personality or genuinely have one but hide behind it for privacy or safety purposes. Fearful of being anyone’s puppet. Doesn’t want to give their power away. Fears being controlled by others and retaliates when they feel dictated to or controlled. Their relationships are often high-stakes, high drama, and emotionally demanding. May be addicted to toxic people—drama and chaos, especially of the emotional kind, and power struggles give them a rush, though, they may deny this and claim they hate drama and toxicity. Can be manipulated or abused in relationships, or they themselves can abuse their power, especially if they are abusing a substance or easily influenced at the time. Often in crisis. These natives tend to have deep, penetrating gazes and luminous eyes. For as much as they value privacy, when they do inevitably have a fall from grace, it is often painfully, visibly made public, quite to their embarrassment, and all their secrets are “exposed.” Most of them try to get ahead of potential scandals or involuntary public releases about them by self-disclosing embarrassing, scandalous information or personally divulging their secrets and “exposing” themselves so they get ahead of the story and don’t become the story, so they control the narrative. Control is really important to them—not just the illusion of it but the actual concept of being able to take action or determine the course of an event without being dictated by it. They often disappear and reappear in the public eye at will. These are not the type of people to go make an apology on the notes app when they do something the public doesn’t like. They will address their actions when they feel like it and if they feel like it and only if they do feel like it, always on their own terms. And they don’t apologize unless they mean it, so don’t expect to see them putting out disingenuous statements. They always have their guard up because they are weary of being hurt and they’re used to going through unsettling situations. Have dry humor and strong physical/sexual hungers/appetites/lusts; may be shady at times. Have dealt with a lot of trauma in their lives, for many early on, in their childhood. May succumb to their deepest, innermost fears if not careful. May suffer from intense paranoia—always suspicious of loved ones. Fear of being [double-]crossed or backstabbed. May have a difficult time forgiving or understanding people who turn their back on them. A sense of mystery surrounds them. Time does not heal their pain. Struggle feeling isolated and alone but needs lots of alone time and goes through periods where they shut themselves off from everybody and go ghost for a while, typically to recover from private battles, or draw back/recover strength from life. Acutely aware of their own mortality. Recovery to them looks like healing. They often call this—healing—surviving.

Resolute, assertive individuals. Can contradict themselves at times. A web of contradictions emerge when specifically attempting to define who they are. Struggles to feel healthy emotions, easily overpowered by their own excess emotional energy. Can feel dead inside sometimes. Often secretly struggles with addiction, past trauma (including in some cases sexual or emotional or physical abuse, depending on other factors, as well), and suicidal ideation. Frequently possesses a low mood or bleak outlook on life. Struggles to keep positive. Finds enlightenment in the most unexpected, unusual places. Often finds God or the spiritual equivalent after some tragedy—doesn’t have to be a near-death experience—or after hitting rock bottom, however they define it—this may be losing the love of their life, being fired from their job, being publicly ousted or held accountable for some moral breach, being sued, being accused of alleged wrongdoing, true or false, etc. They nearly have to lose everything—or what is most important to them—to come to some great epiphany or startling realization and make drastic changes in their life. Sometimes, they may wait until it’s too late. Difficult to decipher. Subject to varying moods, sulking, and general somber periods. Some natives may have a morbid fascination (curiosity) with their own death, or on the opposite side, a healthy fear of it. May struggle to have/develop/facilitate a healthy relationship, not only with others, but with themselves. Good judge of character, but can be blinded by infatuation or blind trust at times. When they fall, they fall hard. Very intuitive and sensitive, perceptive individuals. Self-transformation often comes at the cost of something they want, including their selves. Sometimes, it’s as though parts of them have to die in order for more of them to live. Often very powerful, secretive individuals who come to amass much power in life, but can just as easily lose it. Overwhelmingly strong survival instinct. A need to conquer, to be the best, and to win. Dominant personalities. Difficult to know, not difficult to love. Tend to have many secret admirers and enemies, and are feverishly wanted or desired by those who can’t or shouldn’t have, want, or want to have them. Besides having a magnetic gaze, these natives often have an intriguing, possibly even sexual aura that either strongly repels or attracts others. After a breakup, can be demonized or made the villain by past vengeful partners, especially if there were sordid affairs or the native was unfaithful.

[sector-i-closed]

Our Destiny

Demon au or the second time I've done a demon, au

Tagging @youneedapiratekink​ and @atiny-piratequeen​ seemed to be interested in this au

Warning: Smut

 Loud whimpers dripped from your mouth as your face was smushed against the window that faced the dark street outside. Behind you Hongjoong, the demon who had seduced you into allowing him access to your sex to supposedly give you relief of the pent up tension that he was responsible for was working you up to your third orgasm so far. 

"Mmph nghh~" Your broken whines filled the air as his almost scorching hot fingers filled your entrance, thrusting deeply and creating loud squelching sounds as he penetrated your heat repeatedly. Weakness was overwhelming you, the energy that he was feeding from at your expense was steadily being depleted from you. 

"Look at you, wanting to keep going until I fuck you to death with just my fingers." Hongjoong mused out loud, continuously pressing his free hand against your back to keep you in place in your position in front of the window. Your eyes were focused on the glittering dots of the stars in the night sky, ignoring the cars that were passing in front of your residence. 

The mortification and shyness was long forgotten by the time you had experienced your first orgasm, and now you were too fucked out to care that you were on display for anyone to see with your pants pooling down to your ankles. 

"Gah oh fuck~!" You whined, the oversensitivity getting the better of you but you were almost going to cum all over his fingers again.

 "Oh you're pretending that the people outside are not out there enjoying how good you look while my fingers are pleasuring your pussy, hm?" Hongjoong whispered against your ear, his warm breath against your ear canal almost knocked you down to your knees as your internal sensations overpowered you. 

"Mmm~!" You moaned against the glass, almost wanting to tell him to fuck off about how people might see you but his fingers made you feel too good to say anything and the way his soft lips attached themselves to your neck was welcomed but the possessive nature of how he marked your neck made you reel from the disbelief of how good he felt. You desperately distracted your attention to the moments that led up to this, trying not to think about how painfully sensitive your sex was despite wanting all that he could give you. 

~~

You had felt alone, waiting anxiously in your bedroom for Hongjoong, the demon whom you had befriended in the past years to appear in your room as was the normal ocurrance at night. It had been an emotionally draining day and it had been a much bigger struggle to keep your head up and face the things that forced you to have to be strong for yourself and the people that you dearly loved even though some made you feel as if they didn't care about your feelings but you weren't carrying on with your life for them, it was all for you and the people that you cared for. 

Tonight you felt even more pointless and wished to be wanted or needed by individuals, which was something that you pined for often but wasn't reciprocated by others. You told yourself that you were used to it and the temptation of giving yourself to the demon who had made you feel valuable as a living entity was something that was making you feel weak, clouding your judgment with lust and desire at recalling the sultry words spoken 'I want you. No one else deserves you except me' remembering the way the warmth of his breath fanned against your ear encouraged intense heat and yearning to pool in your pelvis as your heart thumped heavily against your chest.

 But you were not willing to spend an eternity bound to Hongjoong, no matter how much he wanted you so the bonding with him through sex was out of the question and you would learn to suffer with the throbbing between your legs. One lifetime was enough for you to live in your opinion and the thought of living any longer than that was enough to induce a severe migraine to radiate through your skull. A memory flashed through your mind of the dreams that you would have of the demon pleasuring you with heated kisses and unending sessions of him lapping at your heat. 

You shuddered at the memory, unconsciously palming your own heat to find a way to disperse some of the tension that was building there.

 "I see that you have been anticipating my return~" Hongjoong's voice was right next to your ear, sounding rather nonchalant in spite of the way you were touching yourself before you swiftly removed your hand from your sex. 

"Wah... No I mean yes I've been waiting!" You smiled sheepishly as you turned your head and made eye contact with the dark orbs that lured you into an abyss of darkness, whispering to you to give in to your feelings and bind your soul to him forever.

 "I knew you were~ I love how honest you're being with me which is uncharacteristic of you~" The demon chuckled, gracing your back lightly with a touch of his hand, the intense warmth of his skin seeping through your clothing and tantalizing the nerve endings of your skin.

 "Could you not be so irritating?!" You huffed, still feeling anxious as to weather or not Hongjoong had seen you touching yourself. 

"Why are you so tense, my love~?" That same tone that got under your skin was repeated and you had to admit to yourself that you were equal parts nervous, agitated and needy. 

"Why are you like this?" You dramatically waved your hands in the air, causing the demon to smirk at your vagueness. 

"What do you mean by 'this'?" Hongjoong hummed, analyzing your expression and picking up on the aroused energy that your body reeked of.

 "What do you mean!?" You hoped to wriggle out of explaining what you were referring to and he quirked his eyebrows in amusement. 

"Why do you want to make yourself suffer when I could give you the pleasure that you desire right now~?" He smirked, tracing his fingers along your thighs. Your resistance melted away with each caress against your beautiful curves. 

"I don't know what you mean but go ahead?" 

~~

A sudden thrust of his digits jabbed straight against your g spot, distracting your thoughts and prompting you to cry out to the point that you were sure that you were going to spasm right then until Hongjoong pulled his sheathed fingers from your pulsing heat. 

"We both know you're not going to live much longer if I continue to fuck you endlessly because your body is insatiable and you're craving my cock to bond you to me. You've been fighting our destiny, and you don't have to." The demon purred, dipping his hot fingers into your mouth so that you could taste your own sweetness on his fingers. 

Your mouth readily accepted the digits that were inserted into your mouth and you moaned in delight, feeling more aroused by the act of tasting the sticky essence that dripped from your heat.

 "I can save you from dying right now or we can stretch this process out until you're so weak that you're begging me to fuck your lifeless body. What will it be, kitten?" Hongjoong smirked against your ear, removing his fingers from your mouth so that you could give him an answer. 

You whimpered at the loss of being filled and you were now afraid, what had you gotten yourself into? This was only supposed to be temporary, gaining relief of the desire inside of you but after the demon laid his hands on you things didn't work out as planned, your body craving more and more as he depleted the energy that you expelled.

 "There's no going back once we've started, baby." Hongjoong murmured, boldly bringing your hand down to his crotch so that you could feel what you were denying yourself of. Your heat clenched lustfully as you palmed his hard length, the twitches reminding you of how needy you were between your legs. 

Living for eternity didn't seem so bad at the present moment and you wanted to be satisfied as deeply as his length had potential to satisfy you and what was the point of dying when he could make you feel like he had given you the universe.

 "Please Hongjoong, I want your cock..." You pleaded desperately, your body trembling from the loss of strength that you were experiencing.

 "Such a good girl, telling me what she wants. I can't believe that you're not being as stubborn as I had thought you would be." The demon moved himself away from your body so that he could unfasten his pants. 

"Stay there, precious." He ordered, "I want everyone to see what's mine and see how I go about making you mine forever." 

You groaned lowly, feeling your arousal seep along your inner thighs as he slipped his member between your folds, guiding his warm length inside of your throbbing heat until he was stretching your channel to accommodate his girth. 

"Fuck..." You moaned, taking pleasure in how snug your heat fit around his cock.

 "You're so tight baby, this pussy was destined to become mine wasn't it~?" He rocked his hips into your body, thrusting briskly into your heat and pleasing you even more than when he had filled you with his fingers. 

"Oh god~..." You choked out, his pace becoming faster and quickly building back the pleasure that you had nearly experienced earlier. 

"I'm -I'm~..." You gasped, followed by a shrill scream that vibrated the glass window as Hongjoong tightened a hand around your throat while you felt your climax crash through your body unexpectedly without time to warn Hongjoong that his constant assault had tipped you over the edge.

 "So soon baby? I thought sure you would have taken your time but we have forever to do that." Hongjoong panted briskly, pinning your body harder against the window as he released his hot come inside of you.

 You almost screamed at the intense heat that spread through your pelvis, his release manipulating your cells to morph into a supernatural being like himself and changing everything about how your body was chemically structured until you became a demon like himself. 

"Wha-what's h-happening to me!!" You groaned at the heated tingles that circulated through your body, enduring the transformation.

 "You're doing so well, princess~ We really are for each other." Hongjoong commented in a sultry whisper, stroking your back proudly as he kept his length inside of you to make certain that your body absorbed every drop of his release. 

"This is our destiny. You're my precious treasure forever." 

[everydisneymovie]

Review #38: The Light in the Forest

Post #42

8/4/2020

Next up is 1958′s The Light in the Forest

Enjoyment : [1]

Watching this movie feels like pissing blood. Watching it actively gave me a throbbing headache I was so furious with it. There is almost nothing enjoyable about this garbage and I actively think lesser of people who defend it. The issue is that the entire premise of the movie is racist and hateful so you can never get on board with the story unless you are also racist and hateful. The story is about a boy named True Son who was adopted by a tribe of Native Americans. Due to a treaty he is forced to return to his biological family where is then tortured and brainwashed until he finally acts ‘white enough’ for their approval. Even if True Son is ethnically white, he was raised by a loving Native family and this movie acts like none of that matters. From the first frame the moral of this movie is “The Races don’t mix, stay with your own kind” and it boils my brain to try and think why Disney thought this was ok.

Quality : [1]

The filmmaking is fine. Camera, lighting, sets, costumes, it probably would have gotten a 4 if the plot was anything other than the shit show it turned out to be. Because the writing is so unbelievably hateful this movie gets a 1. The reason this devalues the quality of the movie as a whole, is that the way scenes are structured is now fundamentally flawed. The writing tries to frame the racist white cultists as villains, but then also does nothing to refute them. The racist villains say something racist, True Son looks sad, and the film moves on like there is nothing else to be said. You can’t possibly write likable character when they are just awful from start to finish. Besides some musical stings, there is nothing behind the camera to display that these racists are wrong, if anything I think the framing supports their arguments and it ends up ruining everything.

Hold up : [0]

The second ever 0 given on this blog, and boy does this movie deserve it. I have already gone over how hateful the core premise is. A ‘respectable white family’ tries to ‘tame a savage native’ because ‘this is where he belongs!’ It is lazy, stupid and spiteful writing. However, what makes this movie truly awful is the ‘both sides!’ angle it tries to push and utterly fails at. The opening scene has the Native chieftain arguing with a British general. The Chieftain says that the British troops have been raping and killing men, women and children that were not part of any war party, to which the general snaps “Yeah but they only killed the civilians because they were scared of facing your savage warriors.” and then they just moves on like that was a fair answer to those accusations. You cannot compare the violence the Natives committed against the Pioneers to the violence the Pioneers committed against the Natives. One side was an invading army and the other was made up of civilians defending their home. Whenever a scene tries to ‘both-sides’ the argument it just sounds like “Why do the people we keep killing say they don’t want us to kill them? That’s so rude of them!” Fuck off movie this is pathetic and you know it. This movie is also truly horrible in its depiction of adoptive families. Despite the fact that True Sons Native family knew him most of his life and provided nothing but stability, the movie frames his racist, abusive biological family as his ‘true family’ since being related by blood trumps everything else. Like honestly fuck that, adopted families ARE real families regardless of race.  On a final absurd note, as if this movie couldn’t get any worse, the final conflict revolves around True Son fighting his uncle, who has been shown to not only be a racist murderer, but also an attempted rapist. And yet, True Son explicitly states he is going to fight his Uncle not because he is evil, but because “he wants to prove his is a white man and wants to earn his respect.” Yeah I am sure the respect of a monster like that is really that important to True Son. Go rot in hell Disney.

Risk : [2]

This movie is once again drenched in the sloppy discharge of American Exceptionalism and Manifest Destiny. I have already gone into detail about how horrible the ‘both-sides’ argument is since it paints the past as an inevitable conflict where the genocide of the Natives was just an unfortunate side effect. The only reason this movie doesn’t get a lower score in terms of risk, is that there WAS actually some attempt to humanize the Natives. They are shown to have complex inner lives and for the most part True Son remains steadfast in his refusal to give up his upbringing. He still ends up ‘turning white’ by the end but his determination made him the only likable character. Even though it was handled poorly, this movie actually acknowledged the existence of the Native genocide rather than painting over it like Westward Ho, The Wagons! did.

Extra Credit : [2]

There was one scene that actually was fun to watch. After True Son has been pushed around by his awful family for most of the movie, he is reunited with one of his Native cousins and it is genuinely joyful. The two wrestle and run around laughing, just happy to be in each others company. It made me smile and I hate that it didn’t lead into True Son going home to be with the family that actually loves him. If this movie had the balls to pick a side, this could have been a really wonderful moment, but spoilers: It wasn’t.

Final thoughts:

This is easily the worst movie on this list so far. Worse than the true life documentaries and worse than Peter Pan. It has been a long time since I sat through a movie that I could describe as ‘genuinely hateful.’ You get the feeling that the people who made this movie actually hated Native Americans and set out to intentionally demonize another race. I didn’t even get around to talking about the bland love interest who ‘fixes’ True Son with love because as we all know the best way to cure racism is good old fashioned heterosexual marriage. The best way to sum up this movie is with this simple fact. The main characters name is True Son, but his biological parents want to call him “Johnny” The scene were he meets his biological mother for the first time, instead of hugging, or getting to know each other, the mother simply says. “Your name is Johnny, you won’t leave this room until you say your name and act like a civilized gentleman.” Her concerns are not about True Sons mental wellbeing or safety, she just wants him to act ‘white’ so SHE is comfortable. There is ZERO love between them and yet the movie frames this like a heartfelt reunion between long lost family. After this scene, no one calls him True Son anymore, not even his love interest. They all call him Johnny and it has the same vibe as a someone getting dead-named over and over until they finally submit. I hate this movie and what is worse, I don’t think this will be the worst movie I’ll watch by the end of this project. God help me, this movie took years off my life. If I have to watch something this bad again I will dig up Walt myself and beat his zombie ass senseless. 

Total Score: 6/50

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Edit: I would like to make a minor note about this movie. It is implied through dialogue that True Son was not adopted by kidnapped by the Native Americans. Which does make his biological families desire to bring him home understandable... HOWEVER: The way the movie is shot and written, it is clear that True Son is happy and treated as an equal while in the tribe, and he is emotionally abused the moment he is brought into the white town.  While he was not adopted in the text of the movie, it is clear that the movie frames and interprets True Son as an adopted child being ‘saved’ by his biological family. Either way Disney did a crappy job with this movie.

[hhuta]

(3D lbqfm anon) y'know after reading ur post on it i realized i a) subconsciously noticed the de-gaying and that's probably why i didn't like it and b) somehow didn't notice ANY changes despite the fact that I watched the two versions less than a week apart,,, i thought it was just the new cravat (tho i still don't like it. the old one was better) | also,,,, is it too much trouble to ask why u don't like the 3D assassymphonie? guessing smtg to do w the women | also ur opinion on 3D vaec?

where do i start with miss l'assasymphonie.. btw u can watch the video of the two versions side by side here. and my rant got wayyy too long so ill talk about VAEC in another post ldkjasl

tw: self harm/suicide mention just to be safe

im going to start with minor differences that make me prefer the 2010 version but not hate the 2011 one

first of all his dramatic soft gay sappy ass touching his heart when talking about mozarts music i like that a lot :(

then when he sings "killing out of spite everything i create" he metaphorically stabs himself in 2010 but not in 2011

and i love the first version because its a nice and subtle parallel between how mozarts music makes him feel like (lbqfm) vs how his own music affects him (l'assasymphonie) as i pointed out here before. this is on different levels !! the fact that in lbqfm its his inner gay demon stabbing him, representing mozart(s music) and in l'assasymphonie he stabs himself..... bc he is killing what he creates and what he creates is part of himself... so this isnt about him wanting to kill mozart its about him being self destructive... this is crazy this is just one gesture and i can go on and on about it and honestly my rant will only get more insane.

later he grabs the knife at different moments and in different ways and i think the 2010 version is more dramatic and impactful. the editing helps too, it really made me jump, its all done at the right time. but honestly both are valid to me; i feel like in 2010 hes more angry and impulsive, like its the very first time he thinks about doing something like this, whereas in 2011 he feels sad and defeated, like hes going back to a place he fought very hard to get out of and because of this one guy hes back there, but in the end he recognises its his own fault

another minor difference that i think is worth mentioning, and honestly i like both versions, is what he does at the "senseless (or crazy) symphony" part. in 2010 he almost covers his ears cuz obviously it goes along with the lyrics in a literal sense. meanwhile in 2011 its more of a symbolic interpretation? idk how to word it but 2010 feels like hes just talking about his music and the thoughts inside his head making no sense, but in 2011 when he looks at his writs, his veins, its like he is talking about himself as a whole; a being without any meaning, who is losing his mind, and i like that too

and this difference goes on when he talks about the "disconcerting concert"; 2010 feels like hes literally listening to it around him, his performance in 2010 is overall more dramatic lkjslkd, meanwhile theres none of that in 2011, hes too melancholic to be jumping around

here when hes talking about his talent (or rather lack of) u can see how hes more angry in 2010 and sad in 2011 (honestly this corroborates my theory that at the beginning florent played salieri as a legit evil villain but as it went on he added more depth)

anyways so far both versions are good to me now........ the fucking dancers............... i move away from the mic to breathe in.jpg

theres just. so fucking much going on in 2011. there are a shit ton of people moving around, the flashing lights, the constant zoom in and out, the curtains moving the background, im gonna have a stroke????? l'assasymphonie is such a heavy song, emotionally, and florents performance is amazing on its on theres no fucking need to add 100 more elements!??!? it totally takes away ur focus from salieri ....

my biggest problem is with the dancers as u guessed it cuz honestly idk why they are there, i dont understand the need. i get that they are his inner demons, but not the sexy ones, so they are there to represent his inner turmoil and add a chaos element to the performance and a parallel to lbqfm with the whole hands on salieri part, but its way to obvious that it becomes repetitive! inner demons dancing around a character happens way too much on mor; bim bam boum in a way, j'accuse mon pere, la mascarade, comedie-tragedie, si je defaille, lbqfm and now again?!!?!?!?! bitihc dlajsdlkas

and the worst fucking part to me is when salieri goes to kill the female dancer

.....why whY... WHY.. why make the song literal like this!!! this is not what its about??!?! i know she isnt supposed to be A Person, this isnt him being A Murderer, she is him in a way but ?? we already saw him almost killing himself??!!? why repeat that, this is just so unnecessary and it doesnt sit right with me why make him stab a woman!! it makes my blood boil. it takes away all the drama from the other scene, of him with the knife on his wrist, because it is essentially the same!

now lets discuss why i prefer the lost half naked blindfolded men. is it because its gay? yes. is it because of the kinky element? yes. u see how that creates a parallel to lbqfm but in a subtle way? yes thank you.

to elaborate i feel like the 2010 dancers represent his psyche at the moment soooo much better. its not just simply his inner demons haunting him again, making it repetitive.

his is how i interpret it and how it relates to salieri:

the blindfold: god it can mean so much... above all i think its his envy and anger blinding him, making him feel lost and afraid. but it can also represent how salieri is a stern man, he only sees things one way and is blinded to other possibilities, other ways of living. because he is so narrow minded, so used to just following the status quo, he doesnt understand mozart and how his carefree way of life is working for him. he doesnt understand his conflicted feelings towards mozart. he doesnt understand how mozarts music can be so unconventional and yet beautiful, etc etc. his world was shattered and he feels lost because of this one little guy

but honestly i think the intention was to give a shoutout to amadeus lmao which is still cool. they do mention in MOR that mozart can play blindfolded so u can view as a parallel to that too

the lack of clothes: around mozart salieri feels naked but not in a sexy and fun way, in vulnerable and seen for the first time way. imagine how strongly he considered changing his name and moving countries after the whole eh bien, maestro? trop de notes? ordeal..... he was caught off guard in that situation so he let the truth out way too much, but he knows he cant fake it around mozart any other time either

their behaviour: they look afraid, lost, in pain and are constantly falling, getting up, then falling again and being pushed up against the wall by something invisible (to me its mozarts music/influence) and honestly i dont have to say anything else ! its all there !!! it represents salieris emotions perfectly !!!!!

in summary, to me the 2010 dancers dont have a lot to do with the lyrics of the song and i think thats good. they are there to add a new element to it, to let us see inside salieris head, while salieri himself is performing what the lyrics are about. so on the other hand i think the 2011 dancers are repetitive and unnecessary, not adding anything new to the performance

[vellikvr]

◇ Sempiternel Longing

Fallen Angel!Jimin x Human!Yoongi

Dynamic: Minyoon (slight sub yoongi)

Troubled college boy, Yoongi, finds a way to contact demons. In a deeply numb state of personal adversity, he conjures a fallen angel of surpassing beauty and mind. He supposes that the best time to feel will have to be in the hands of a tender, yet intimidating, black-winged immortal.

cw // implied existential crisis, implied homophobia, sexual innuendos, implied sacrilege (?), derogatories

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

[Part One]

“so, am I supposed to arrange some agreement?” Yoongi questions, watching the conjured immortal step around his cluttered, dark room. The space is now drenched in some sulfuric, deathly odor that makes Yoongi shiver in temporary unease.

“An agreement was already made, Yoongi,” the sultrious voice of the demoniacal echoes throughout the room. The creature leans against the wall, exposing the white collarbone. “You slit your skin to sacrifice a drop of blood. You’ve relinquished the privacy of your soul to me, and I’m now under a spiritual bond with you.”

He’s only become familiar with the practice only hours ago. He was given a ritualistic seance regarding demonic conjuring from one of his delinquent friends. The friend is a quiet consumer of the dark web markets, therefore such information could be accessed. Yoongi, overtaken by some flattened rationality, was sceptical and decided to take manners in his own hands. Guess his friend found the ritual by quite a reliable source.

“Were you in any way prepared?” the moral-torn angel chuckles menacingly.

“I wasn’t,” Yoongi admits.

“You didn’t have to say so, I could already tell.”

“Well then,” Yoongi decides to accept his fate, plopping his exhausted self on the bed. “What’s there to do with you?”

“I can only torture you, people get depleted of their sanity when around me.”

“Aren’t I already tortured in life? I’m sure you have some telepathy quirk so you must’ve figured my perspective,” He curls into his frail body, looking down at the raw, narrow gash through his pale skin. He pads it experimentally.

“I have a few quirks.”

“Mmh. spite me, then.”

The man makes his way, with subtle entitlement, to Yoongi. Yoongi had to sit up since a climbing adrenaline shakes his entire body alive. The satanic creature carries a corrupted smirk, “I’m a fallen angel— a diabolic immortal that broke all unspoken laws under my former holy God, and has been expelled from the righteous place. The seven deadly sins poisoned my once saintly blood until it became a murky black, swallowing any righteous light—

“I am a creature that can give you the unpleasantly pleasant experience of every single sin,” His unrepentant eyes are drowned in a gruesome liquid charcoal like it was made to pollute what it gazes upon. Yoongi’s reflection is all it defines, at this very moment. “I can give you hell, but like falling victim to temptation, it’ll feel temporarily heavenly.”

Yoongi can’t help but wonder all the ways sin can appear. For this demon, it’s exhibited in the black leather attire that exposes the erotically sharp collarbone, the plump lips that curl into a defiled leer, the feline eyes that only radiate crooked temptation. He is—truly—the embodiment of sin in Yoongi’s eyes.

“What’s your name?”

“Jimin,” he chuckles. “That’s all you wonder about me?”

“I really don’t care,” Yoongi lays back down and appears content rather than terrified. “I’m an individual of no morals, I’m an atheist as well.”

“Well that honors you dignity,” sarcasm drips from the demon's lips.

“It doesn’t, I’m slowly rotting in this empty place. Might as well have an audience. or someone to bring an artificial heaven to me.”

“What’s brought you to this resolution?”

Yoongi spreads his legs to stretch, and almost in a vulgar impression. “I’m a sinner, as well, I’ve fallen hopelessly victim to the lustful temptations of sex”

“Sex is natural, mere human,” Jimin scoffs.

“But I’ve let people in my bed, and I only experience the raw complications of my attraction. I draw to lust and cravings, but let there be guilt and sorrow that comes after…for I’ve let men touch me, and I’ve let them fuck me into a black desolation. It’s so good that blinking stars capture my vision for an amount of pleasurable time after I release,” Yoongi tilts his head back, showing the expanse of his neck. Jimin’s eyes draw forward at the other’s lovely facade. “I’m intoxicated by the masculine hands of a stranger, forcing me down and making me beg until depraved tears fall.

“My room still echoes reminiscent moans and cries,” Yoongi smirks. “It defines me, yet it draws me to a complicated blur, I’m guilty but will never beg forgiveness or break such a habit. It’s an addiction to feel. I might as well experience sin until my body numbs, since I don’t deserve remission under your former God,” Yoongi rubs his hands with an empty stare towards Jimin’s frown.

“You’re so depressing.”

“Thanks.”

“Heaven would spit at you,” Jimin chuckles darkly.

“I already figured, though I have no intention of crossing their gates.”

“Unfortunate how your words spite your own emotions. Men are a true gift to the world, I can admit.”

Yoongi closes his thighs together, thinking about being happily destroyed by a stranger for another night.

“They are,” he nearly moans. Jimin gets taken back by Yoongi’s transparency. He looks deliciously vulnerable to him, sprawled on his bed arching his back. No problem with the scarce protection of himself nor the diminishing sanity when sin chains him tightly. He’s a human with nothing left to drag him forward.

“My sad baby,” Jimin sweet talks. “It’s okay to be attracted to men. Men have a delectable body, personally speaking.”

“That speaks volume coming from you.”

“Fair enough, but when I tell you that it’s lovely to feel a man, I’m serious.”

Moonlight spills through the blinds, light stripes paint Yoongi’s button up shirt, but it also exposes the drained but lewd eyes of the human.

“‘Lovely’— not something I could describe really anything in my life.”

“Elaborate,” Jimin occupies his focus to Yoongi’s plants; they’re fairly well-maintained.

“Love is nothing but mere false hope,” Yoongi mumbles. “False hope that life is worth it when you fall into an intimate connection with another person. I’ve never experienced love, as you may tell by my pessimistic aspect.”

“Love and affection is life’s gratification for a mortal’s will to exist.”

“A luxury, that is,” Yoongi eyes the deathly figure sitting on the bed. The mattress dips, therefore solidifying the fact that he exists and not just a fantasy in Yoongi’s head. Jimin is incredibly attractive for a hell-bound demoniacal, it gives Yoongi an excuse for this growing desire in his chest.

“I’m deprived of love,” he finishes, trying to find that singular cue from the creature. He suddenly urges his legs together again to relieve some tension.

Jimin crawls toward the other with lidded eyes, giving an improper appearance of something vulgar but intentive, throwing Yoongi off. The innocently feline eyes barely masquerade the coarsely salacious manners that inhabit the male like an inner, quiet flame. The leather garment on his upper body drapes low to reveal a rugged chest.

“My Yoongi is lonely?” Jimin mutters under his rough throat, it voices a ripple effect in Yoongi’s veins.

Jimin couldn’t be any more attentive to Yoongi than now. The human looks like a doll in his loose wear, it reveals soft milky skin, and he’s now trembling as Jimin inches closer. Confidence seems like a false hope as much as Yoongi’s perception of love.

“I can give you love.”

Air thickens, Yoongi could barely catch a breath of obstinance in his attempted repression towards the demon. He instead feels an urge to yield to the other; he wants to experience yielding to Jimin’s seductive eyes—which is giving Yoongi whiplash. He gulps hard, swallowing really nothing.

“Yoongi looks troubled.”

“Don’t act innocent, your innocence is of mere blasphemy.” Yoongi spits, leaning back as Jimin proceeds toward him.

“‘Course you say that, and you’re right—I’m nothing innocent, but a dirty tease. I can play my way into one’s heart, and leave them crying for repentance.”

Yoongi feels so enthralled in Jimin’s attitude that rationality hits against his own temptations. Half of his thoughts are at conflict with the other.

“But you’re a little different. I play with pure souls like a game. You’re broken beyond repair. Nothing I can do but make you forget the pain.

“Plus, personally, I do find you so attractive, that it's boggling to hear you are neglected of affection,” Jimin quickly adds, sounding rather informal.

“Then do it,” Yoongi blurts.

“Do what,” Jimin smirks, knowing exactly what Yoongi demands. His claws reach out to curl Yoongi’s hair behind his ear, then strokes his cheek very lightly. The sharp claws grazing his skin sends a daring chill down his spine. He forces his eyes shut before they give away the temptations before he speaks them.

“Make me forget. I might as well experience the pleasures before I numb my way towards the end.”

“My human seems quite needy?” Jimin pursues, combing Yoongi’s hair back and lightly pushing him flat on the mattress. A huff of the human’s breath is heard clearly through the pointy ears of the demon.

“I am, should I remind you of why I never repent?” Yoongi inhales sharply when the body climbs on top of him, one thigh forcing itself between his own. Heaven won’t ever forgive him now.

“Nope, it still rings in my mind,” Jimin leers, leaning down to gently peck Yoongi’s cheek before padding the ear lobe. “Proud sinners arouse me, especially those that don’t believe in such things like demons. You must be terrified.”

Yoongi exhales a soft moan, hiking his hips up to join his crotch with Jimin’s own, but it was solely to feel the friction made from Jimin’s bulging thighs. “The—there’s no use to be terrified when we are living in a world of theory and approximation. Theory is just a falsification to maintain our sanity as people. Hell, we are just trying to be humans everyday despite an inescapable death approaching with no true, palpable understanding of its substance. I tried to believe that I was gonna reincarnate as a stray cat, but that’s just a distortion to comfort myself.”

“What’s your point now?” Jimin’s sharp index finger presses a slight indent on Yoongi’s bottom lip, dragging it down until it pops back up to its place.

“I don’t care anymore,” Yoongi mutters. “I have accepted that we just don’t know. I’m not even gonna be terrified of the inevitable truths. I’d rather not accept lies. So you shouldn’t be a thing that defies logic, cause we have no absolute logic.”

“I’ll make you afraid,” Jimin smiles tenderly but it barely disguises the wicked charm that’s magnetizing.

Yoongi huffs, finally sharing a smile of enticement. What’s there to lose?

“Make me terrified, demon.”