#Kim Hongjoong scenarios | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bvidzsoo · 1 year ago

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You belong to me

◿Mobster!Hongjoong◸

TW: cursing, violence, death, gun, suggestive

Word count: 3,3k

A/N: How do I stop the grip Ateez has on me?? What do you mean Hongjoong posts some pictures and I get a story idea?? Ugh, anyways, this is just a short drabble because why is Kim Hongjoong so hot and what is his latest Instagram post of his??

The strobing lights of the club were blinding for a few seconds to the newcomers, their eyes forced to quickly adjust to the dim yellowish lightning and the strong pink, purple, and red led lights. They were strung around the club, overhead, lighting up every area of the luxurious place, but they were the strongest on the stage, where dancers walked around and performed using whatever instrument they preferred as props. Some nights I enjoyed pole dancing, but most nights I liked it when I could improvise, dance freely and get lost to the feeling of the freedom music provided. Perhaps my job of choice wasn’t ideal nor well-liked by most people, especially not by my parents, but it paid well and helped me get by quite decently.

It took a little while to get used to the lack of clothing and the hungry of those watching, but in no-time I found myself enjoying the attention, the cheers, the loud howls after my performances…and perhaps the most I enjoyed was the pay check each evening, and the bills men desperate for attention and the touch of a woman would slip into my thin panties or obnoxiously short shorts. The club was in the high-end of the city, only wealthy and influential men visited, courtesy to Kim Hongjoong. A scarily rich and affluential man, well known for his crazed behavior and dangerous affairs with gangs downtown. He was the boss of the underdogs, the man everyone avoided if possible and only got involved with if only very necessary. He was the owner of the club and he took his job very seriously, treating his employees with respect and care, always checking up on them. Misbehaving wasn’t allowed inside his club, and he punished those who didn’t understand this by using creative methods. I had the misfortune of walking in on him waterboarding a man, saying something about how he didn’t respect his end of the deal, before Hongjoong’s eyes found me and I was ushered out of his office, his eyes conveying a silent warning to stay quiet about what I had seen. And I had no intention of telling anyone what I had witnessed, afraid to meet a similar fate to that man.

Kim Hongjoong was someone whom I feared, but also respected. He was diligent and worked hard, at the end of each shift checking in with his performers, making sure they weren’t forced into doing something they didn’t want, checking their bodies for any injuries. At first, I had assumed that he paid more attention to me because I was new, because he didn’t fully trust me yet, and because he was keeping an eye on me to make sure I was being ethical, but upon closer inspection, I’ve come to the realization that Kim Hongjoong didn’t follow every performers steps with watchful eyes, he didn’t buy them drinks once their shifts were over, and he most certainly didn’t arrange his personal driver to drive them home at the crack of dawn, when the streets were deserted and dangerous for a young woman, like myself, to be walking home alone. And Kim Hongjoong certainly didn’t hold his other performers lower backs as he walked them back to their dressing rooms, throwing clothes at them and demanding to cover themselves up. I had assumed there might have been some favoritism towards me as I drew in clients which were filthy rich, but Kim Hongjoong quickly ruined that thought when I overstepped a boundary and meddled with his personal business. He was quick to threaten me that he’d ruin my life if I went running to the police, making me feel small and stupid for even trying to blackmail him. I don’t know what I had been thinking when I did that, but if Hongjoong had paid attention to me up until that point, after my foolish threat he became overbearing, always two steps behind me, and eyes fixed on me during my shifts. It was scary and irritating at the beginning, but I grew used to it after a year of his unceasing behavior and learned to live with the man’s antics. There were times when we ran into each other at the most random places, places where Hongjoong looked completely out of place adorned in his crazily expensive tailored suit, and sleeked back hair. One of said places was the grocery store across from my apartment complex, completely startling me into oblivion as I had been buying some milk, his reflection appearing behind me in the glass door as I had closed it. What was even more unusual was the way he told me I had twenty minutes to get ready before we’d be going out, to where, he didn’t mention. But it turned out he took me out to dinner at a very fancy restaurant. Not many words were exchanged between the two of us during the dinner, but the food had been good nonetheless and neither one of us brought it up ever again.

Tonight hadn’t been any usual, I had walked inside the club around eight in the evening, going to my dressing room and dressing up for the night, doing my makeup and hair. When I pushed the door open an outfit had been laid out on my couch and my eyebrows furrowed as I took in the schoolgirl outfit, slightly uncomfortable having to wear it, but when I noticed a note on top of it and signed as KH¸ I knew I didn’t have a choice but to wear it. And my shift had started out as usual, I was up on the stage and performing by ten o’clock, putting on my best performance and charming men left and right. The cheers were louder than usual and I was requested to put on a second show, surprised by the incessant attention, but not completely bothered as I knew the pay check would be higher tonight. Of course, I didn’t miss the way Kim Hongjoong watched both of my performances, leaning against the bar stool, hip resting against it, and a glass filled with whiskey gripped in his hand as his eyes trailed over my body multiple times, following every move of mine. But the night didn’t stop there, and I had gotten my first ever request for a private performance. The others who I worked with had plenty experience with that, but it had been my first time and I was feeling nervous. Yeji had been nice enough to walk me through the steps of what this meant and what was required of me, and she made sure to repeat the rules multiple times, making me repeat them after her. The private rooms were small and dimly lit, a huge sofa inside with a coffee table in front of it. There was a stereo and a pole in the corner of the room.

The man who had request for a private dance was gruffy and on the older side, but he was well dressed and looked put together as he sipped on his expensive champagne, grinning when I had walked inside. I pushed down my nerves and ignored the slight tremble of my limbs as I thanked the man for the request and stated the rules firmly, reminding him multiple times that he wasn’t allowed to touch me unless I gave him permission, before I put on the music and started dancing, using the pole as well. It felt weird performing for one man only and I found myself uncomfortable as the man watched me with hungry eyes, his grip on the glass tightening with each passing minute, making me hope that the booked time would be soon over. Half an hour wasn’t much at all, but it felt like an eternity, and I had to force myself to imagine the man I was dancing for was someone else…someone younger, someone more handsome, someone who’s smile was crazed and his cat-like eyes burned holes into your skull, gazing deeply into your soul. When the music finally stopped, I felt like I could breathe again, desperate to get out and away from the eyes of the man, who was licking his lips hungrily as I stepped away from the pole and bowed slightly, going up to the coffee table to collect my payment, but as I reached out, his warm hand grabbed my wrist tightly.

“I’ll pay twice as much for a lap dance.” I was stunned for a second as I looked at the man, softly trying to pry my wrist out of his hold.

“You paid for half an hour, sir, I’m afraid we part ways here.” I kept my voice leveled and the man didn’t seem to appreciate what he heard as he scoffed.

“Twice is not good enough for you? Fine, then I’ll pay thrice the amount I just paid right now.” And then, a nasty smirk spread on his lips, as he unexpectedly yanked on my wrist, making me fall onto his lap, “Don’t be shy, baby girl, I don’t bite. Unless you want me to.”

I felt disgust wash over me and I gasped, trying to push myself off him, but he had sneaked an arm around my middle and squeezed me to himself. My skin tingled and my stomach flipped, bile rising up into my throat. I tried to keep the scowl off my face, but I couldn’t help it as my eyes hardened.

“I stated clearly you are not allowed to touch me, so let go of me, right now.” I demanded, trying to push myself off of him again as the man just scoffed and looked at me with an amused expression.

“Really? I think you do want me to touch you, baby girl. You’re just playing hard to get, but you don’t have to do that with me, I already want you badly.” As if to prove a point, he bucked his hips upwards and disgust coursed through my veins and showed on my face as I felt his hard-on, balling my hands up into fists, ready to pound them into his face.

“Release me, right now.” I snapped, voice harsher than ever before as I felt my hands trembling, hating the smug look on the motherfucker’s face as he went to push my hair behind my shoulders, but I quickly slapped his hand away, hard.

“Don’t be rude, I just paid you, bitch.” He hissed and I chuckled.

“And I said let go of me, you old fuck.” I hissed, squaring the man up. Before he could open his mouth to say anything back, I heard the curtain behind me separating us from the rest of the club pulled open harshly, and a familiar voice sounding eerily calm.

“Was the lady not clear enough the first time?” I could hear the sneer in Kim Hongjoong’s voice and I turned my head, taken aback by the dark look on his face, the harsh clenching of his jaw and the handgun in his left hand. I tried not to let my surprise show as I shoved at the man again, but he still didn’t let go of me. It was getting frustrating and I raised my hand and slapped him, momentarily taking him off guard as I swiftly slipped out of his loosened grip.

“You bitch!” The old man yelled and stood, but didn’t get far as Hongjoong pointed his gun at the man, an amused smirk appearing on his lips. He walked further inside the room, with his right hand in his pocket, and came to a stop next to me as I had put distance between the man and myself. He chuckled as his eyes rested on me for a few seconds, lazily looking back at the older man.

“You said you’ll pay thrice the amount? I don’t see the money—”

“And you won’t see it, fucker, I’m not paying this bitch at all.” And the man snatched the money, fallen on the couch now, up with anger written all over his face as Hongjoong chuckled, and suddenly I felt his right arm draping over my shoulders, yanking me into his side. I stumbled slightly and gasped quietly, surprised by Hongjoong’s actions.

“That’s very unfortunate,” Hongjoong sighed dramatically and I felt his fingers rubbing my shoulder, a sly grin slipping onto his lips, “I must demand you apologize to Y/N for disrespecting her and clearly not following the rules.”

The man chuckled and eyed Hongjoong as if he were crazy, “You wish, fucker. This club is a piece of shit, I’m going to ruin you and your shitty ass business.”

“For somebody your age your vocabulary is quite lacking.” The man’s face turned red at the insult, prompting Hongjoong to chuckle as I tried to hide my own amused smirk, staring the old man down. Hongjoong’s hand suddenly started slipping low, down to my middle until it stopped at my waist and suddenly he was looking at me, eyes glazed over with a crazy glint in them, lips pulled into a grin resembling that of a Chesire cat’s, “Tell me, gorgeous, what should I do with him now?”

My mind was blank as I stared into Hongjoong’s deep eyes, getting lost in them, feeling drawn to him as if he were a magnet, “Whatever you wish, Hongjoong.”

A wide, satisfied, grin appeared on his lips as he bit his lower lip, eyes glinting in the dim light, “Anything?”

I gulped and found myself breathless, his expensive cologne invading my senses and his warmth making my skin warm in the best possible way, “You are the boss.”

Hongjoong chuckled and looked satisfied as he turned his head to face the older man, clicking his tongue as he shook his head at him, “Look at you…I hope you said your goodbyes before coming here, because you won’t be doing any talking no more with that foul mouth of yours, you old pig.”

And Hongjoong raised his arm, the safety off as he pulled the trigger, the gun silent, yet still making my ears ring as I jumped in Hongjoong’s hold, squeezing my eyes shut. He had shot the man, pulled the trigger like it meant nothing, as if taking away a life meant nothing to him. I felt myself tremble as Hongjoong’s hold tightened around me and I was being moved, my back turned to the dead man as I felt hands cupping my face, “Open your eyes, gorgeous. Look at me.”

I gulped and took a shaky breath, body trembling as I forced myself to look at Hongjoong, taken aback by the cold expression on his face. He looked unphased, almost content, as he caressed my cheeks, leaning dangerously close as his eyebrows furrowed, he was no longer holding the gun, “Nobody but me is allowed to touch you, gorgeous, do you understand?”

I gulped and nodded wordlessly, trying to ignore the stench of blood which permeated the room suddenly, the hairs on my arms standing as my muscles were tense, “Use your words, Y/N.”

“I understand.” I whispered, voice shaky, as I stared into Hongjoong’s eyes, a pleased expression crossing his features. He hummed before suddenly whistling, startling me as Hongjoong released me, but grabbed the back of my head to prevent me from turning around, as if I had doing that in mind. Suddenly, four men walked inside, men I haven’t seen before, and Hongjoong glanced at them and nodded behind me wordlessly, the men springing into action. They walked past us and I realized they were here to take care of the dead man, but we didn’t stick around for longer as Hongjoong suddenly turned and started leading us out of the room and towards my dressing room, making me nervous as I tried to ignore the whirling thoughts that I was witness to my boss killing someone. What if the police come searching for the dead man? What if they question me? I knew Hongjoong wouldn’t hesitate killing me too, the thought made it a bit hard to breathe, but I just kept stiffly walking as Hongjoong’s hand slipped to my nape, veering me around effortlessly and away from the curious eyes as he pushed me inside my dressing room and closed the door with a loud slam. I jumped and detached myself from him, putting distance between our bodies as I whirled around, looking at Hongjoong with wide eyes. He was smirking as he leaned against the door, rubbing his chin as he placed his hand in his pocket. I gulped and waited for him to say something, but he just took out his pack of cigarettes and lit a cigar, inhaling deeply before exhaling slowly. Our eyes locked together and I gulped, suddenly feeling exposed.

“Let’s be honest with each other, Y/N.” Hongjoong spoke up after he took another drag of his cigar, “Will I have to worry about you rattling to others about what you just witnessed?”

I gulped, lacing my fingers together in front of myself, “Will you kill me if I did?”

“Of course.” Hongjoong answered without hesitation and my gut twisted, hands suddenly trembling again. I gulped and nodded, letting him know that I understood.

“Then I won’t say anything to anyone.” I found myself quietly saying, “But you have to promise to help me out when the police gets involved.”

Hongjoong chuckled, and took another long drag of his cigar as he suddenly pushed off the door, and walked towards me, “Oh, gorgeous, do not worry about the police. Even they know not to meddle with my business. This will be our little secret; can you keep it?”

He blew the smoke in my face and I gulped, trying to not cringe from the smell, “I’ll—I promise to keep this a secret.”

“Lovely.” Hongjoong whispered as he threw his cigar on the floor and stepped on it, making my eyes widen as he burned out the carpet, but he seemed uncaring of it as he placed one finger under my chin and tilted my head up, looking me in the eyes, “Private shows are off limits from now on, to everyone. Understood, gorgeous?”

“Yes.” I muttered, and my breath stilled in my lungs as Hongjoong leaned incredibly close, his lips ghosting over mine as he smirked.

“These men will be never able to offer you what I can give you.” And Hongjoong pressed his lips against mine, harsh and hungry as they slipped open while his hand slipped to my neck, wrapping around it as his body was pressed flush against mine. I gasped into the kiss as I felt his tongue pushing past my lips, exploring my mouth, groaning into it as Hongjoong devoured my lips ferociously, walking us backwards. I grabbed the sides of his suit and held onto him, blindly letting Hongjoong walk me anywhere, his sweet taste blooming in my mouth as he sucked on my tongue, my fingers tangling in his black hair, the back of my legs hitting the sofa behind me suddenly. Hongjoong quickly cut the kiss short and pushed me down by my neck, making me look up at him in confusion as he smirked, easing me down into the cushions. My heart was thundering in my chest as his eyes burned with want and passion, and suddenly he was kneeling in front of me, gripping my thighs as my skin flamed, making me gulp as my hands clenched into fists at my sides, chest heaving. He slowly peeled my legs open and yanked me lower on the sofa, biting his lower lip as his eyes followed the smooth skin of my legs, stopping just where my skirt had ridden up. He licked his lips, a hungry look in his eyes as he looked up at me, leaning closer.

“Let me show you how queens get treated, gorgeous.”

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sanjoongie · 6 months ago

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𝑮𝒓𝒖𝒎𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑨𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓

⚖️For the See U on the Flip Side Event, prompt chosen: True hates kiss

⚖️Pairing: Rogue! Kim Hongjoong x Holy Knight! Reader (f) x King! Jongho

⚖️Genre: angst (happy ending!)

⚖️Trope: the reverse of true love's kiss!, e2l, unrequited love

⚖️Au: Medieval au, fantasy au, rogue au, holy knight au, hanahaki disease

⚖️Word Count: 6,648

⚖️Rating: 18+, MDNI

⚖️Warnings: mentions of throwing up, blood, sword fighting, death, battle, war

⚖️Summary: when you're cursed with the hanahaki curse, your only discourse is to search out King Jongho and to get a kiss from him to cure yourself. But when a certain master of spies sticks his nose in your business, life is suddenly a lot more harder

The fire cracked and you jumped as the not-so-dry wood caught fire in the wise woman’s hut. You had not declined her offer of blackberry and mint tea but you were beginning to regret it as your nerves got the best of you.

Only an hour ago you had hacked up flower petals and blood.

“Now, tell me about this problem you say you have,” the wise woman prompted you as she sat heavily on her rocking chair after placing down the prepared tea.

You reached into your breastplate and pulled a sealed envelope out. You pulled your knife from your boot and cut through the wax that you had applied yourself. You spilled the contents on the table between you and the wise woman.

“What does it mean when you throw up flower petals?” You offered.

The wise woman picked up one petal and popped it into her. “It tastes bitter.” She raised one to her nose and smelled it. “Primrose, I believe.” The wise woman looked at you with certainty. “You have the Hanahaki Curse.”

“...pardon me?”

The wise woman pushed your cup of tea further to your side, the clay scraping against the well-worn wood. She drank deeply of her own before answering. “You are dying. A kiss will break the curse. And only you know who will break it. I can’t tell you; it’s your heart that needs mending.”

You stand up, putting down the untouched tea. “Thank you.” You tossed the wise woman’s fee to the table. “I trust you’ll tell no one about this?”

The wise woman mimed locking her lips with a key and throwing it away. “Of course.”

You walked back to the castle that you were in charge of, wondering how the hell you got here.

You raised your hand in greeting to the guards at the castle’s gates and they let you in. You curt nods were all they needed in acknowledgement before they went back to their duties. It was not their place to ask the captain of the guard where they had gone.

Your head was in a daze as you walked through the castle listlessly. The only good thing about your King going to war was that there was no one to question your current state. Your king had taken practically every able-bodied soldier with him to invade the country that had taken a precious artifact that belonged to your kingdom and left behind the bare minimum.

You had been hurt and angry when Jongho had told you that he was leaving you behind. The shame ran through you like hot lava through your veins. You were the captain of the guard; it was your job to keep the King alive and safe. To leave you behind from his war was an insult that was beyond resolving.

Jongho’s face informed you that there was no arguing, even though he tried to insist that he could only trust you to keep his throne safe. All the while, Hongjoong was across the round council’s table, hiding his grin with a hand.

“But you’re taking him, aren’t you?” you accused.

Jongho ran a gauntlet through his hair in frustration. “Hongjoong will be travelling back and forth between you and I, to keep the information secure.”

Your hatred for Hongjoong went from a steady fire to a raging bonfire.

In your life, Hongjoong always won where you lost. As children, you followed the rules and somehow got scolded while Hongjoong created discord and was beloved. You couldn't even have your moment of triumph by being knighted as Jongho’s captain of the guard; Hongjoong had been given the role of master of spies at the same time. You were dedicated to Jongho, sword and heart, but the king had chosen Hongjoong to warm his bed and not you. Hongjoong was the bane of your existence.

“You’re not one to get your head in the clouds, what’s happened to you?”

You jump a foot in the air as you come back to reality. Your feet had taken you to your office and Hongjoong was sitting behind your desk, running one of his daggers underneath his finger nail.

“Get out of my chair,” You snarled immediately.

The last thing you needed was the man you despised to see you at your lowest moment.

Hongjoong gave you a long look. “Something bad by the sounds of it.”

You slapped his boots off your desk. “Your very presence puts me in a bad mood. Now get the fuck out of my chair or I’ll haul you out of it myself.”

Hongjoong fluidly rolled out of your chair and danced around your desk. Lithe, graceful fucking rogue. You hated him. “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Captain.”

You rolled your head, cracking your neck menacingly. “Do you have anything to report to me or did you come back just to get under my skin?”

Hongjoong’s eyes are dark and inquisitive on you. “Do you have something to report back to me first?”

Your arm came down and you swiped the entire contents of your desk onto the floor in a rage. You roared so loud that your lieutenant came to check on you. Your shoulders were heaving with your heavy breathing.

“It’s nothing, lieutenant.” Hongjoong dismissed your underling and firmly closed the door on her very-confused face. “Captain, you can’t let anyone see you like this. You are their leader and the one in charge of the King’s throne and crown.”

You threw an accusing finger in Hongjong’s direction. “Get out of my office. You are the cause of all this.”

Hongjoong tilted his head curiously. “This must have to do with our fair King, methinks.”

You tiredly sit on your desk and bury your head in your hands. “Hongjoong, this is not up for discussion. I don’t care if you get off on it or not, I’m not in the mood tonight. I am not above personally escorting you out of here.”

“You’d have to catch me first.” You could hear the grin in his voice. You wanted to wring his neck. “I do love a good game of cat and mouse.”

You lowered your hands, if only to send a murderous glare at Hongjoong. “All is well with the castle. I’ve heard nothing of any rumblings about the nobles thinking they can do a better job than Jongho or I in governing the kingdom. They are eager to hear about the King’s progress, that is all.”

Hongjoong sat beside you on your desk. With his hands on either side of his hips, he tipped his head back to stare at the glass chandelier that Jongho had commissioned for your office when you had earned your position. “It is slow progress. The army is so big that travelling is taking us longer than originally anticipated. The King wondered if I couldn't snatch one of his favorite bottles of elderberry wine from the cellars.”

“Brilliant,” You replied tonelessly. “We’ve done our respective jobs. You can leave now. Enjoy wrapping your lips around Jongho’s--”

“What are those?” Hongjoong nudged a petal with his booted toe with a frown. “You despise flowers, they make you sneeze.”

Your eyes widen in alarm. “I’ve an admirer. Must be one of the noblemen. Goddess help me if it’s one of the guardswomen. That never ends well.”

Hongjoong shook his head. “Mmm, I think not. Your eyes tell it all, Captain. Nice lie though. Hoping that I would tell His Majesty and that he would do that cute pout he does when he needs to think things through?”

“I owe you nothing,” You insisted.

You put some space between yourself and Hongjoong. Hongjoong didn’t allow you that much consideration, however. He followed close on your heels as you moved to the armorstand. “You might as well tell me. I know you know I have the means to figure it out for myself. Nothing escapes my notice.”

You removed your gloves first, then moved to the buckles at your ribs. “Oh, but wouldn’t you have so much fun discovering my dirty little secret, Hongjoong?” You mocked him. “Why would I take that away from you?”

“What dire news has acted as a thorn in your side?” Hongjoong posed, thumb and forefinger framing his chin. “You are often easy to anger but surely this is the worst I’ve seen you. And I’ve seen you witness me sneaking out of Jongho’s rooms on more than one occasion. Once, you even barged in on us hav--”

You pulled the knife from your boot and threw it across the room. Hongjoong leaned backwards, evading your knife easily. “If you do not shut your mouth, I will do it for you.”

Hongjoong smirked, pulling up one half of his lips upward. “Oh, the images in my head.”

How you managed to wretch your breastplate off, was beyond you, but next was your sword belt, and finally your shin guards. “I am going to my room now. And you will most certainly not be following me there.”

“But Captain, we barely finished our foreplay!” Hongjoong called after you.

You opened the door to your bedroom connected to your office and slammed it behind you. You turned the lock with the key around your neck and sighed heavily. You needed to think in peace. You needed a strategy to break this curse.

The wise woman said you would know who you needed to kiss in order to break this curse. There was only one man who you wished to kiss and that was Jongho. But that would mean you would have to abandon your post. You had to break your oaths and go against your king’s direct orders. But which meant more, your word or your life?

You found the peaked window and saw that the Goddess was hidden behind some clouds on this night. You couldn't even pray to your sworn God to seek guidance. If you broke your oaths, all the sacred powers that were bestowed upon you by the Goddess of the Moon would be gone. You would still be a knight but if your oaths were forsworn to your king, where would that take you? You would be losing your life either way.

You bit down on your lip, hard, and resisted bellowing in frustration. Jongho would understand that your life was in danger. Your goddess would still want her most dedicated knight to live. You had no choice, you had to go hunt down Jongho and beg a kiss from him. Regardless of whether he returned your feelings or not, this was your life!

You began to undo your hair. You tugged the hairpins that held the braid from the crown of hair around your head. You would have to travel light if you were to travel as quickly as you could. You couldn't wear your armor or you’d be spotted immediately.

You moved to the chest by the foot of your bed. There was old leather armor you could don. It would simply appear as if you were a mercenary travelling and looking for work. Your sword, Mist, would have to stay too. You sighed. Your current sword and shield had also been commissioned by Jongho. It bore your coat of arms, a lioness rearing on her hind feet, claws ready to attack her opponent. Yet, it had to be done.

You picked up Silver Light from your chest. The rainbow opal shone in the hilt of the bastard sword that used to be your weapon of choice. It was the sword you had dedicated to the Moon Goddess, swearing to be one of her holy knights. It was the sword that had the power to slay with the gentle light of the moon. It would be nice to remember who you were, instead of who you had become.

A cloak of dappled grey sufficed for the remainder of your outfit. You grabbed a satchel to stow some bread, cheese and apples from the kitchens and then you were straight for the stables. Your trusty mare Siren neighed softly when you entered her stall.

“We go on a quest, my dear,” You murmured to her.

“Ah, a knight on a quest. What a picture perfect night to do so.”

You grabbed Siren’s reins before she reared. You smoothed a hand over her neck, whispering to calm her. You refused to acknowledge Hongjoong. You simply lifted the catch to the gate and swung up on Siren’s back.

Hongjoong leaned against the doorframe of the stables. He tossed the same knife he had been cleaning his fingernails with, repeatedly catching the hilt of it as it twirled in the air. “Where are you going at this time of night, Captain?”

You continued to ignore the master of spies as you walked Siren out of the stables. You did stop ignoring him, however, when Hongjoong silently launched himself over Siren’s flanks and onto her back behind you.

“Captain, I can no longer let this mystery slide. This is beyond out of character for you. I’m starting to think there’s no whispers about a coup from the nobles because you yourself are the culprit.”

You pulled Siren’s reins gently to halt her. She snorted, clearly unimpressed that she was being stopped so shortly after her freedom was delivered. “Are you seriously besmirching my name right now because I refuse to acknowledge your presence?”

“What else am I to suspect when you’re sneaking out of the castle just as I come for my report.” Hongjoong’s voice sounded as if he was amused but his words were sharp. “If only the truth would set you free.”

“I would rather not report to the king that his master of spies hasn’t broken his neck from falling off a horse, so get off of Siren,” You said through gritted teeth.

“The only thing that would make you abandon your post is Jongho. I know exactly where he is, Captain. If you simply tell me what is going on, I’ll take you on a direct course to him.” Hongjoong let his offer dangle between the two of you.

Fuck. Your life was hanging in the balance. You didn’t know how much time you had. Curse Hongjoong.

You breathed in and out deeply. All that could be heard was the soft clomped as Siren walked down a postern gate that wasn’t guarded. It was a secret escape for the king in case he was in grave danger. “I threw up blood and flower petals this eve. The wise woman says I'm dying. I think only a kiss from Jongho will break it.”

“Ah,” was all that Hongjoong said.

“You insufferable man,” You grumbled under your breath. “All that berating to get me to tell you what’s going on and all you have to say is ‘ah’?!”

Hongjoong chuckled behind you. “I apologize for that. I didn’t know it was truly so grave.”

You turned around to view Hongjoong. His gaze flitted around naturally, to keep an eye if anyone spotted the two of you. “Will you help me?”

“Of course I will.”

Your shoulders released tension there that you didn’t know you had been holding. “This will be a great source of entertainment for me. I want a front seat.”

You scoffed. Of course he was going back to jokes again. “I don’t care about your motives. This is my life on the line, Master Spy.”

“I know,” Hongjoong acknowledged that.

Travelling with your arch nemesis really wasn’t what you’d call an enjoyable time. Hongjoong constantly poked at you, prodded you, and laughed when you snapped at him. You made decent time, for two people on one horse. You, more than once, complained to Hongjoong about him not having his own horse but his reply was always “Why would I steal a horse when I get to be so close to you?” which was ludicrous but he stood by his statement.

It all came to a crescendo the first night you decided to pay for a room at an inn. Hongjoong had said you had done enough covert traveling, and that no one would spot the two of you for one night of comfort. More than happy to pay for a roof for Siren, you put up the few coins it would take and entered the inn with Hongjoong.

You paid for two separate rooms but dined together. Blessedly, Hongjoong was silent as he filled himself with roast chicken and fresh bread. You ate heartily as well, tired of road fare. Then you went your separate ways to your respective rooms and you expected to get a good night's sleep.

What you hadn't expected was to get such a swell of feelings for Jongho. You missed him. It had been weeks since he had left with the army. You missed how he was such an anchor in your life. Jongho was solid, and not going anywhere, or so you thought. You thought you had wound yourself so closely in his life that you could never be separated.

That’s when you felt the burning at the back of your throat and you rushed to the basin in your room that was supposed to be for your morning’s wash up. You threw up petals, your body convulsing to spew out your unrequited love incarnate. You coughed and shook, as your body rid itself of the flowers inside of you. By the time you were done, you felt weak.

“Captain.” Hongjoong’s voice was coated with sympathy. He slipped into your room through your open window.

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. “Go away,” You said hoarsely.

Hongjoong’s hands felt cool to your warm skin. He pulled your hair back and tied it up. “You could have called for me.”

“I was a little busy,” You said mirthlessly.

“Come on, let’s--” His eyes widened as you began to cough again.

You couldn't help it. Your mind sent images of happy Hongjoong with happy Jongho. Those two were always so easily together. How was it that Hongjoong got what you had worked so hard for?

You spewed more petals and flowers into your basin. Your throat now felt like razer’s were brushing your insides.

“Get…” You said hoarsely. “Don’t want you…” You coughed and grimaced, pulling a singular petal from your tongue. “...you shouldn’t see me like this.”

You felt weak, you felt powerless and even worse, you felt heartbroken. And part of the equation was sending you worried looks. “Just go.”

Hongjoong shook his head, a look of determination on his face. “I’m gonna help you back to bed, first of all.” Hongjoong ducked under your arm and raised you up with a hand around your waist.

“First?” You squawked.

“Mhmm,” Hongjoong hummed. “Then you’re going to let me call for some cool water and I’m going to put a washcloth on your head.”

Hongjoong got you to bed. He sat you down and then swung your legs up. You fell back onto your pillow with an oof and Hongjoong giggled. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they charge your room for the extra water.”

“Hong…” You coughed and the rogue froze at your door.

“I’ll be just a minute,” He said before slipping out your door.

You couldn't fathom why he was doing this. Perhaps he appreciated what you did for Jongho and the kingdom. It certainly wasn’t a job that Hongjoong could, or wanted to, do.

Hongjoong came back with a pitcher of cold water. He did exactly as he said, wetting the cloth and folding it carefully before placing it on your forehead. “There, was that so hard to accept?”

“Yes,” You barked.

“You know that all Jongho wishes is for us to be closer, to work seamlessly. Why are you so stubborn?” Hongjoong asked.

“Stubborn?” You struggled to sit up but it only took a firm hand on your shoulder from Hongjoong to keep you down. “You’re the one that pushes my buttons every chance you get.”

“If I didn’t provoke you, you’d literally pretend I wasn’t there,” Hongjoong insisted.

You scoffed at his remark. How could you ever forget that the love of your life’s love of his life was in the room? You felt queasy and winced.

“Alright, alright.” Hongjoong fussed, pulling a blanket over you. “Just sleep. I’ll stay here in case you have another episode.”

“You will not!” You insisted.

Hongjoong laughed. “Right? What a waste of good coin. You should have told me you were going to be sick. I could have stayed in the same room with you.”

“I’d never willingly share a room with you, Hongjoong,” You grumbled. But your weariness from the curse tugged you into its embrace.

Your eyes closed and you faded into the darkness of sleep. You didn’t even wake up, having a full night's sleep on a somewhat comfortable bed. The same couldn't have been said for Hongjoong when you woke up.

You were on your side when the morning sunshine woke you up. You opened your eyes and saw Hongjoong’s sleeping face. He had fallen asleep, arms propped up on your bed but his body on the floor. He was snoring softly, his lips parted, the tips continuously turned upwards. He almost looked… softer, like this. Is this what Jongho felt appealing when he slept with Hongjoong?

You coughed and Hongjoong shook awake immediately. “I cleaned the basin out, do you need me to fetch it?”

“No, I’m fine,” You replied briskly. You got off the bed and stretched a little. You sent a look over your shoulder to Hongjoong, who was still sitting on the floor. “Why the hell did you stay here, anyways? You should have slept in the bed you paid for.”

Hongjoong smiled and stretched his arms above his head. “Jongho would have my head if I let the captain of his guard die under my watch.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed heavily. “How chivalrous of you.”

“Besides, I said I’d help you,” Hongjoong added with a more solemn tone.

“I…” You took the bite out of your tone. “Thank you.”

It was back to the road, riding and sleeping in shifts. Siren had taken a shine to Hongjoong, of course. You muttered that she was a traitor while she eagerly ate the pieces of apple Hongjoong cut up for her with his knife. She lipped at his upturned palm and he giggled at the feeling. Jongho wasn’t enough, he had to have the sympathies of your horse as well???

You heard a rumble of hooves. Hongjoong’s eyes met your own immediately. “I thought you said we were still a few days away from the army?”

Hongjoong’s eyes narrowed. There wasn’t a cloud of dust, which explained that it was a much smaller party than the army. “We are. That’s not them.”

“I’ll scout. You stay here.” You couldn't argue with Hongjoong because with a susurration of the bushes, he was gone.

You paced at Siren’s side, who mimicked your mood, plodding at the ground with one hoof. You rubbed her soft nose. “It’ll be fine.” When Siren whinnied at you, you frowned at her. “He will be fine. What is with you?”

Hongjoong was back just as quickly as he left. “They have no official uniforms but I overheard them. They are from the kingdom our fair king is invading. We have to wipe them out.”

Your stomach dipped at the thought of delaying reuniting with Jongho. But your honor and vows to the Moon Goddess wouldn’t let you back down. Anything to ensure Jongho victory was in your best interest.

“I agree,” You said. You strapped your sword to your back and swung up on Siren’s back.

Hongjoong grabbed a hold of Siren’s reins as he approached. Your damn treacherous horse nudged his body with her head, as if she was checking his body for any harm. “I’m okay, girl,” he reassured her.

“How…” You purse your lips but continue your sentence. “How would you like to do this?”

Hongjoong’s eyebrows rose in surprise but rolled with your punches. “If you let me get in place, I could have an immense advantage with a sneak attack. Then when all hell lets loose, you can come charging in like the knight that you are.”

“I’ll wait for your chaotic signal then,” You reluctantly agreed.

Hongjoong flashed you a confident grin. “Try not to stare at my ass while you fight. It’s very distracting, I hear.”

You nudged Siren’s flanks with your feet, but it didn’t take much to encourage her to follow Hongjoong. He brought you as close as he dared and then signaled for you to halt. You couldn't get close with Siren otherwise that would give your position away. So you had to wait, without any visuals.

The seconds seemed to stretch into minutes as you waited for some kind of signal that you could push forward and fight. The silence was torturous, until you heard a call for arms and knew this was it.You charged through the brush, into the opening where the opposing army had settled. A quick scan of the battlefield showed that they were a guerilla group, small for secrecy and travel. Hongjoong had already taken down quite a few, you observed. There were many that laid with their throats slit. Hongjoong was ducking and dodging amongst the other warriors in the merry band.

With a wordless roar, you drew your sword and swiped at the men that you ran by. You took a few down before jumping off of Siren and started fighting sword to sword. You had an advantage on Siren but you would never risk her life.

Hongjoong flitted around you, nipping at the hoard that had surrounded you. Your broadsword did its work, as your body fell into the motions of the different moves you had learned. Metal against metal screamed, but still you took down each man or woman that dared approach you.

Hongjoong threw dirt, cackled when someone coughed when his hand to hand combat caught someone directly in the throat, and stomped on toes to throw off his foe. He was such a dirty fighter. The longer he danced around you, tightening the circle around you, and eliminating your foe, the more you grew angry. He was the epitome of what you despised.

But you were tiring and you needed your ‘oh fuck’ power. “Hongjoong!”

The rogue had two seconds to guess why you were raising your sword above you and not fighting anymore. He closed his eyes, speaking highly of the trust he laid in you and then you began your prayer.

“Holy Mother, Queen of the night, and ruler of the darkness. Bestow your power upon me!”

The pommel of your sword shone with the brightness of the moon and blinded the majority of the soldiers around you. Once your sword was imbued with the power of your goddess, it was over. Your eyes lit with the eerie blue of a cold moon. You cut down anyone in your path and you did it with fierce justice. How dare these men come from behind your beloved king?

“Justice will find you even in the night of a hidden moon.” Your mouth formed the words but your heart fluttered. The goddess was using you as a vessel!

When all there were left were corpses on the ground, you sheath your sword. The light faded from your eyes and from the opal on your pommel. Hongjoong’s mouth was on the floor and he had to snap it shut.

“I didn’t know you could do that!” He said, awe still shining from his eyes.

“You know I’m a sworn holy knight, Hongjoong,” You said with scorn.

“I know but it’s usually just a bunch of--” Hongjoong shook his head. “You’re a Moon Maiden.”

You scoffed at him. “A Moon Witch. Hongjoong. A maiden is one of our sisters who is still untried in battle.”

Hongjoong batted his eyelashes. “And in bed?”

“Virginity holds no importance in our order. Such a man thing to say.” You shook your head and whistled for Siren.

Your horse came galloping from the foliage and whinnied when she came to your side. Then she snorted on Hongjoong, causing his hair to get pushed back with the gust of air. It seemed not all your anger had been dispelled in the fight. You grabbed Siren’s reins rather harshly and tugged her to you before Hongjoong could pat her forelocks.

“Let's get going. If we can let Jongho know we stopped an attack from behind, that might give him an advantage,” You said gruffly.

“I…” Hongjoong let the hand he had raised to pet Siren fall lamely. “You’re right. That’s exactly what we should do.”

The last leg of your journey was strained with tension, to say the least. The closer you got to Jongho, the heavier your episodes became. You got extremely terse with Hongjoong, and eventually that mocking smile snapped as well. The gentle man from the inn was gone. You refused his help so many times that he no longer offered. It all came to a boil the night before you were set to arrive at Jongho’s encampment.

“I don’t understand why you’re so eager to receive a kiss from a man who doesn’t love you back,” Hongjoong grumbled under his breath as he tossed pieces of grass into your fire.

You breathed in and out heavily in a gusty sigh. “Oh, I don’t know, Hongjoong, perhaps because it’s going to save my life?”

“How do you know?!” Hongjoong demanded, suddenly standing up.

That caught you off guard. “The witch said I would know whose kiss would fix my curse. It’s obvious when my episodes occur when I’m thinking of Jongho. I have to receive a kiss from the man who I have unrequited love with.”

Hongjoong’s face twisted into judgemental disbelief.

“What?” You prompted, standing up as well.

“Even after the kiss, he’s still not going to love you! How is that going to break the curse?” Hongjoong challenged you.

“I--” Your heart began to palpitate and you felt sick to your stomach. You hadn't thought about that. You had a magical curse but would the kiss have a magical ending. You hadn't actually wished for Jongho to love you after the kiss but…

You swallowed down what surely felt like some petals rising for you to vomit. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

Hongjoong looked like you had just slapped him in the face. “Excuse me? Not any of my business?! I told you I would help you. I’ve been with you this entire journey, helped you when you were sick, taken care of your horse--”

“Yes, well done, Hongjoong. You’ve wheedled your way further into my life. How brilliant of you. Even my horse adores you. How excited you must be that everyone around me loves YOU more,” You said with rage filling your voice.

Hongjoong’s mouth opened and closed, clear shock written across his face. “That’s not what I--why must you hate me with every fiber of your being?! It’s been like that since we were children. I’ve never done anything to--”

“You merely existing is the cause for my anger. You never have any regard for anyone. You simply live life how you prefer, regardless of who it hurts. You are sneaky, and conniving. You fight without honor and you break hearts without consideration! I despise you, Kim Hongjoong, and that will never change!” Your shoulders heaved with how heavy you were breathing from your anger zipping through you like a spark.

Hongjoong threw his hood up and tipped his head so that his facial features were hidden. “Very well. I understand you explicitly. Once I’ve delivered you to Jongho, your life is your own. You won’t need my help any longer. I’ll take first watch. You sleep.”

The rogue slipped into the shadows surrounding your fire without a sound. Your chest felt hollow but you didn’t understand why. Shouldn’t you feel better after unloading like you just did? Hongjoong promised to leave you alone. You got what you wanted. You rubbed your chest. You decided to forget about it and go to sleep. So you rolled up in your cloak, and closed your eyes.

The next morning was a quiet one. Hongjoong didn’t say a word to you, even when he woke you up for your shift of keeping watch. He didn’t even sit on Siren with you, opting to take her reins and guide her to Jongho’s camp.

Hongjoong waved at the guards on the outskirts of the encampment but they simply waved back. Clearly they were used to seeing the master of spies travelling to and from their camp. He wound through several levels of security until finally Jongho’s grand tent came before you.

Your stomach twisted into anxiety. You weren’t even sure how you were going to explain to Jongho exactly what was going on. You knew that Jongho would never condemn you to die but he wasn’t big on physical affection. A kiss for the sake of a kiss wouldn’t appeal to him. Not to mention, you had to tell him the part about how you loved him.

But before you could get to Jongho’s tent, Hongjong suddenly changed direction and aimed Siren for another route.

You leaned over Siren’s neck and hissed, “Hongjoong, what are you doing?!”

“We’re going to my tent.”

Your face heated up at such a comment. “Why?!”

Hongjoong remained silent. You almost scrambled off Siren’s back as a form of rebellion but it took no time at all to get to the rogue’s tent. By then, Hongjoong had tied off Siren’s reins and then reached up to bring you down off her back. His hands on your waist burned through where they touched. And even once your feet hit the ground, the man didn’t let you go.

“Hongjoong, what is going on?”

“I have to do this before you kiss Jongho.” Hongjoong’s voice was husky and it made your stomach dip.

“Do what?”

Hongjoong’s lips twisted into a bittersweet smile. “Just don’t punch me too hard afterwards, okay? I have a delicate stomach.”

Before you could ask once again what the hell was going on, Hongjoong tilted your head towards him with his thumb under your jaw and his hand curling around your neck, and kissed you.

Your lips tingled and you felt tears form at the corner of your eyes. Why did this feel so right? You hated Hongjoong… right?

Hongjoong broke the kiss and then wiped your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “Don’t cry, love,” he said, even though tears were streaming down his face as well. “Well, it was worth a try--”

The both of you let out a strangled yell of surprise as a whirlwind of primroses and petals swirled around you. Hongjoong held you close to his body, arms wrapped around in a protective stance. You swallowed but your throat was tight with emotion and you were pretty sure it wasn’t rage. Before you could wonder what was going on, the whirlwind was gone and so were the petals.

Hongjoong suddenly grabbed your head between both his hands and demanded, “Quick, think about Jongho.”

You pursed your lips. “I don’t feel like throwing up, Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong let out a noise of exasperation. “Just do it!”

You sighed heavily and closed your eyes. You thought of the gummy smile your king always greeted you with when you entered the council room. You felt wistful and… you didn’t throw up. Your eyes widened in surprise.

Hongjoong let out a whoop of celebration. “We did it! We did it!!!”

You took off your gloves from one hand and brought your fingertips to your lip. It was Hongjoong’s kiss that you needed the entire time?

“How?” You said in disbelief.

“I love you,” Hongjoong admitted simply.

You shook your head in confusion. “What?”

Hongjoong avoided your gaze suddenly. “I’ve loved you since we were kids. But you always had eyes for Jongho. And despite what you believe, whatever I did, was to get your attention. Also, Jongho came to me first. I wasn’t against it but I thought it might prompt you to finally see that I was the one for you but instead it only made you resent me even more.”

You tried to back away, to put space between you and Hongjoong, in order to process what he was saying but the man was having none of that. “I was already at the castle before you saw the wise woman. I was on my way to your office when I saw you sneak out. I saw everything. But I came to a different conclusion. Kissing Jongho was never going to heal your curse from unrequited love. You needed someone to love you. It was true hate’s kiss, a kiss born from hatred turned to love. What better kind of kiss would break a curse like yours? I just didn’t think that you returned the feeling. Especially after last night.”

“I…I don’t--” Your throat closed in on itself. You couldn't say it. It would have been a lie and broken your honor.

Hongjoong had that stupid smile that you absolutely hated; the one that said he knew what you were thinking. “You don’t have to say it outloud. I already know it’s true or your curse would not have been broken.”

You allowed yourself a moment of relief. You weren’t going to die. You didn’t have to cause discomfort to your king… speaking of such… “Oh no,” You covered your mouth in horror. “I’ve come all this way, abandoned my post, and for what? Nothing!!”

Hongjoong swung an arm around your shoulder and guided you to the opening of his tent. “I know a thing or two about keeping others hidden. You’ll just stay in my tent until I can sneak out again.”

You frowned. “I’m not staying in your tent, waiting for you to come back, like a handmaiden’s tiny court dog.”

Hongjoong’s smile only grew wider. “Do you bark, little doggy? Sit pretty for me and I’ll give you a treat.”

“I’m still armed, Hongjoong,” You reminded him dryly.

Hongjoong hummed in acknowledgement. “Oh, we haven’t sparred in such a long time. Let me deliver this elderberry wine to our king and then we will enjoy some more foreplay after--oof” All the air left Hongjoong’s lungs as you punched him in the stomach.

“I suppose I was due that,” Hongjoong said in a pain-filled voice.

You gripped Hongjoong’s chin. “You better be telling Jongho you’re no longer available for his bed,” You said in a low, threatening tone.

Hongjoong’s smile through the pain was almost beautiful. “Anything for you, beloved.”

You grimaced at the pet name. It was going to take a while to get used to that. You had a feeling that Hongjoong would be forever wiggling under your skin, looking to get a reaction out of you. But you knew that you secretly enjoyed the back and forth, be it words or with weapons.

“Thank you,” You whispered suddenly.

Hongjoong’s eyes softened. “Anything for you, beloved,” he repeated, this time sounding more like he meant it.

Your heart skipped a beat and you abruptly let go of Hongjoong. You raised your still ungloved hand to your cheek. Was your skin hot? What was this feeling?

“Are you… blushing?” Hongjoong asked in astonishment.

“Shut up, Hongjoong,” You snapped, turning away.

“Or you’ll do it for me?” Hongjoong teased, eyes dancing merrily, recalling your threat from when he had found you in your office.

“You’d like that immensely, wouldn’t you,” You sighed.

“If it puts your lips against mine again, why not?”

You may love Hongjoong now, but you were pretty sure you still hated him.

#codn: summer24 #cultofdionysusnet #pirateeznet #ateez angst #kim hongjoong angst #ateez scenarios #kim hongjoong scenarios #ateez fanfic #kim hongjoong fanfic #topaz's work #recent #ღatz

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solaris-amethyst · 7 days ago

Text

💫Eterna Forest💫

✨Pairing: pokemontrainer!Hongjoong x pokemontrainer!gn!reader ✨Prompt: Hongjoong and his partner pokemon Pachirisu has gotten lost while wandering around Eterna Forest and the two of them bump into you and your partner Piplup, who also, coincidentally, happens to be lost. The two of you decide to team up to try and find your way out of the big forest. ✨Genre: Pokémon au aka set in the Sinnoh region, non idol au, fluff, comedy? ✨Word count: 5.6k ☀️Authors note: As promised Mina! Here it is🥰 @hongjoongspoetry hope you enjoy it! It turned out longer than I had anticipated but it was so much fun to write this💕 I'm contemplating making stories for the rest of the members now as well😅

Hongjoong looked around the vast forest. All he could see were trees and greenery, no matter where he turned he could not for the life of him find the way out. It was as if the forest itself had a personal vendetta against him solely to make sure he couldn't get out. His partner, Pachirisu, was perched onto his shoulder also looking around with his big round eyes.

"Let's face it Pachirisu... We're lost... I got no clue where we are and my map isn't helping me at all." He sighs before wrapping up his map and putting it into his backpack.

His pocketch light up with a notification and it informed him of the time. It was 14:30. It was the time he had promised his friend Seonghwa that he would call him from the tvphones at the pokémon center so they could chat and catch up on how things were going.

Seonghwa would unfortunately have to wait until he found his way out.

"Pachiii." His partner said puffing out his cheeks when he was unhappy with the situation before Hongjoong felt the squirrel lean forward and nibble his ear harshly.

"Ow ow ow! Stop that! I'm not happy either that we are lost but that's just the way it is." He gently pries Pachirisu away from his ear and said pokemon huffs before snuggling up to him as if to apologize for what he just did.

"It's in moments like this I wish I had caught a flying pokemon then we would have someone who could guide us from the sky." He says looking around, hoping to perhaps find a starly or maybe even a hoothoot but to his luck there were no flying pokémon around. And if they were Hongjoong were certainly not spotting them.

All he could see was just a wurmple climbing up a tree and a kricketot running away once it realized he had spotted said pokemon. The two of them sighs before Hongjoong continues to walk hoping that he will somehow find his way out before the day is over at least.

Not too far away from where Hongjoong were wandering around were you and your partner Piplup walking around trying to figure out how to get out of this darn forest as well.

"Piplup I really don't think we will find our way out today..." You sigh and your partner looks up at you from your hold with concern in his eyes.

"Lup?"

"We're probably gonna miss the contest in Eterna City... I had really hoped for us to get there in time to register and compete." You say feeling down about potentially missing the contest being held there, especially since you and your team had worked so hard practicing the introduction and combinations of attacks to make them stylish and powerful.

"piplup, pip!" Your best friend and partner raises one of his little flippers towards you as if telling you that the two of you will find your way out of here and will get to the contest before it's too late.

"Yeah... you're right! There's no need for me to be so down just yet! We'll find our way out of here!" You say with raised spirits before hugging him. Piplup made happy noises as you hugged him tightly, glad to see your spirits up again.

"Hmm let's see.. I'm sure this is the way! Let's hurry!" You say as you blindly starts running in a random direction, running through the thickness of the leaves and such you did not expect to crash into someone causing you and said person to fall down.

Him on his butt and you on your stomach.

"Ow ow ow." The two of you mutter at the same time and you quickly look up, feeling mortified that you practically tackled someone.

"I'm so sorry!! I didn't mean to run into you!" You quickly bow trying to apologize to the man who was gently caressing the part on his butt where he had landed.

"No it's okay I wasn't looking where I was going either." He admits before looking at you with a chuckle.

"Sorry but you got something in your hair." He motions towards you and your hand quickly shoots up to where he was pointing to find a twig and some leafs stuck.

"Oh thank you!" You thank him as you carefully pick it out of your hair.

"Ummm... you don't happen to know the way out of here and to Eterna City do you?" He asks curiously and you look at him in surprise before shaking your head.

"No sorry... I got no clue where I am currently, I lost my map when a shellos attacked us two with a water gun farther down the river." You tell him with a sigh while pointing to where you had come from.

"So you are as lost as I am then?"

"Seems so."

"Pachi!!!" Suddenly a ball of white fur was in front of you causing you to lean back in surprise causing the man to make a face and quickly reach for his friend.

"Sorry! Hey Pachirisu! Don't do that it's not polite to barge up in strangers faces like that! I'm so sorry for my partner, he just loves to do everything I tell him not to do."

That causes you to chuckle.

"Don't worry, there's no harm done at all. He's a charming little guy, aren't you?" You say going to scratch its chin when your own partner practically shoves the new pokemon off your lap before climbing up with a jealous look.

"Piplup pip lup lup!"

"Piplup! It is not nice shoving people or Pokémon like that! I'm so sorry uhhh... I never got your name?"

"Oh! My name is Hongjoong and this is my partner Pachirisu!" He tells you with a smile and you quickly bring out your Pokédex wanting to know more about his pokémon.

The device speaks up in a robot voice as you scan the pachirisu: "Pachirisu the elesquirrel pokémon. It makes furr balls that crackle with static electricity. It store them with berries in tree holes. It makes electricity with pouches in its cheeks and shoots charges from its tail. It lives atop trees. A pair may be seen rubbing their cheek pouches together in effort to share stored electricity."

"Nice to meet you Hongjoong, Pachirisu! My name is Y/n and this is my partner Piplup!" You say motioning towards the little penguin pokemon who is still glaring daggers at the pachirisu, who uses it's little paw to drag down it's eye lid and stick out its tongue to infuriate your friend, which absolutely works as you can hear piplup getting even more worked up.

"It's nice to meet you two!" Hongjoong says as he brings out his own Pokédex. He had only ever seen a piplup on a poster but never seen one in real life.

"Piplup the penguin Pokémon. Because it’s very proud, it hates accepting food from people. Its thick down guards it from cold. It lives along shores in northern countries. A skilled swimmer, it dives for over 10 minutes to hunt. It’s a poor walker, it often falls down. However, its strong pride makes it puff up its chest without a care."

Piplup puffs up his chest hearing all the positive and impressive things Hongjoongs Pokédex says about its species and you can't help but chuckle finding him very cute every time he does it.

"Well it seems like you got a very reliable pokémon on your side." Hongjoong muses with a smile and you nod.

"Yeah, I can always count on piplup you know!" You pat your partners head gently.

"This might seem weird but were you perhaps heading to Eterna City as well?" He asks a bit slowly, hoping you will say yes and your eyes lit up at the mention of said city.

"We were until I lost my map. You were heading there as well weren't you? Perhaps we can try and find our way there together?" You ask hoping he will say yes because it had been some time since you traveled with another person and it was nice from time to time to spend time with other trainers and see what they've learnt so far on their own journey versus what you had learnt.

"I was just about to ask if you wanted to see if we could find our way together! I still got my map you know." He tells you looking relieved you said yes.

Perhaps it will be easier together he hopes.

The two of you get up off the ground, dusting yourselves off. Pachirisu makes sure to get up on Hongjoongs shoulder as Piplup awaits you to pick him up, making a pleased noise when you do.

"Do you think you could show me your map?" You ask and he nods quickly bringing it out of his backpack and holding it out for you to look over.

"Hmmm it seems we are somewhere around here." You motion to a spot on the map. "I think we should head in this direction." You point and your new friend nods since he has no clue where to go and your confidence makes him think you know where to go.

As you two walk you chat together talking about yourselves to become more acquainted.

"So what do you do? Are you a pokemon gym trainer or a pokemon coordinator?" Hongjoong asks you curiously and you beam at him.

"I'm a pokemon coordinator! I haven't been in many contests yet, I've mostly focused on journeying, finding new friends and practicing so when I do go to contests I do well." You tell him fondly and he nods, his eyes crinkling as he smiles a soft smile.

"Have you earned any ribbons yet?"

"I have!" You fetch out your ribbon case from your backpack and opens it to show him. Inside are two ribbons so far, one is purple while the other is green.

"I only got two so far but we worked hard for these two, they will always be super precious to me." You tell him and he marvels at the ribbons.

"They're so pretty! Much prettier than the gym badges if I'm honest!"

"Do you compete at gyms to later try your hand at the Sinnoh league?" You ask curiously, he didn't really strike you as the gym person type but you could be wrong.

"I started off at the gyms but I only got three badges so far. Then I realized my true passion is exploring Sinnoh and discovering beauty I've never seen before." He admits before continuing "So now I only do gyms if I happens to pass one by and feel like competing."

"That's so cool! I also understand you, it's not easy knowing what you want to do at the start of your journey. Like gyms, contests, performing, just traveling. There is so much growing and learning as you go and I think that's wonderful." You tell him with a smile and Hongjoong can't help but grow a little red in the face.

"You're like one of the first ones to think that way. Many think it's weird I'm not charging ahead with all the gyms. But I don't know. I'd rather travel with Pachirisu and find new friends and see where life takes me." He says as his partner snuggles its face to Hongjoongs cheek.

"How did you two meet?" You wonder out loud.

"Ah." He chuckles "We've known each other since I was four. He obviously didn't become my Pokémon until I was ten but I met him whilst playing outside. We'd play with a ball I had passing it back and forth and then when we got tired I'd share my snacks with him. We became inseparable very quickly and when I turned ten all I asked for was a pokeball so I could go out and ask if he wanted to join me on my journey and I am so incredibly lucky Pachirisu wanted to join me."

"Pachiii!!"

"I see he agrees." You say as the squirrel cutely asks Hongjoong for a snack.

" Mhmmm I'm very glad he does otherwise I'd be very sad." He gives his partner a poffin that he got out from his pocket.

"What about you? How did you and Piplup meet?"

"Oh we met at Professor Rowans lab when I went there to get my first pokémon! I just saw Piplup and knew, knew that that was my partner. It just felt right and I can tell you he felt the same way." "Pip! Lup!" Piplup agrees with that.

The two of you continues to wander around in the dense forest. The deeper you go in the forest you notice that fewer and fewer pokémon seems to appear the further down your path you get. Which is weird because earlier you saw bidoofs, buizels, starlys and burmys.

But now it was as if every single pokemon had disappeared.

"That's weird... Where did all the pokemon go?" You mumble looking around worriedly.

"I'm sure they're all just... sleeping?" Hongjoong says putting a hand on your shoulder to try and calm you down.

In reality he was a bit freaked out as well at the fact that everyone had just suddenly disappeared.

"You don't think we should turn back?" You ask stepping closer to him for safety.

"I think we should be good right? It can't be that bad." He says urging you two to continue to walk.

Oh how wrong he had been.

It only took you three minutes to reach a part of the forest where you could suddenly see more and more weedles. Even your pokémons started to become unnerved at the sight of so many weedles as the two of you come to a stop.

"I'm starting to think we should have turned around when you suggested it." Hongjoong whispers holding your arm to try and stop his trembling at the thought of potentially having wandered into a nest.

As you go to respond a bunch of kakunas starts to hang down in thin threads from the trees surrounding you causing you both to tense.

"This is really bad Hongjoong." You whisper hoping that what you think might happen won't actually happen but of course it's not your lucky day and what you wished not to happen happens.

A beedrill flies up from the bushes in front of you.

The giant bee is flying above it looking at the two of you intensely and the four of you freezes, all breathing stopped as if that would help.

It's just at the moment you think it might buzz away and not bother you that Hongjoongs pokédex decides to pipe up, having scanned the beedrill.

"Beedrill the poison bee pokemon. Its best attack involves flying around at high speed, striking with poison needles, then flying off. It can take down any opponent with its powerful poison stingers. It sometimes attack in swarms."

The noise from the device seems to agitate the beedrill and suddenly more and more pops up buzzing angrily.

"I think we should run Y/n." Hongjoong whispers and when he turns to look at you slowly he realizes you are no longer beside him but running away from the place causing him to start sprinting after you.

"YOU REALLY LEFT ME THERE?!"

"I'M SORRY BEEDRILLS SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME!!" You scream back at him as the beedrills buzzes after the four of you hot on your tails.

"AHHHH I REALLY WISH I HAD A FIRE TYPE NOW." Hongjoong yells and you can hear Pachirisu laughing loudly, finding his friends scared face hilarious.

"CAN YOU NOT LAUGH AT ME RIGHT NOW PACHIRISU?!?!?!" That causes his partner to laugh even louder in glee as you continue to run.

"P-PERHAPS AN ELECTRIC ATTACK MIGHT STUN THEM ENOUGH FOR US TO GET AWAY HONGJOONG!!" You yell before looking over your shoulder and screeching loudly when you realize how close the massive bees and their giant stingers are.

"YOU'RE RIGHT! PACHIRISU PLEASE USE DISCHARGE! Hongjoong tells his partner who lights up as he starts to charge up, lighting sparkling from its cheek pouches and Hongjoong hastily adds "NOT ON ME ON THE BEEDRILLS!"

Pachirisu jumps up from Hongjoongs shoulder and lets out its attack, discharging electricity towards the beedrills hitting them all with its powerful move. It momentarily stuns the beedrills who twitches and convulses from the electric shocks they took and you and Hongjoong takes this as the time to get out of there safely without worrying about being followed. Pachirisu runs after the two of you and climb up on Hongjoongs shoulder again once the two of you have stopped finally feeling safe enough.

“That was terrifying… and I was the one who said we should go that way after looking at the map.” You say defeated, your chest heaving from all the running, as you realize this could have been avoided had you looked a bit longer at the map.

“It’s also my fault because I said we should continue when you said we should turn around.” Hongjoong pants trying to catch his breath as his partner nuzzles him, making sure that the leftover electricity makes his hair go static, standing up in all directions.

“Well, we should look at the map once more and make sure we go the right direc-oh ummm Hongjoong.” You stifle your laughter “nice hairdo.” You point at his hair snickering and he glances up to see what you mean and let out the loudest groan which tells you this isn’t the first time this has happened.

His partner is once again laughing at him and you and Piplup can’t help but giggle but at least the two of you have the decency to try and hide it as he fixes his hair back to normal whilst scolding his friend.

“He does this every time if he got leftover electricity after an attack. I’ve even made a habit of always having a hat with me just in case I can’t get it down again.” He admits shaking his head.

“Oh wow I can’t imagine how annoying that could get sometimes but I do think it’s kinda cute, like you look cute with your hair all over the place.”

“You think I look cute?”

“Yeah.”

You smile liking the fact that you can see how the blush creeps up on his face once more. You hadn’t spent that much time with him yet you felt like this was someone you wanted to spend more time with, it was fun traveling together and you two seemed to be on the same wavelength when it came to Pokémon’s and traveling in general.

“T-thank you.” He clears his throat before clumsily bringing out his map again. “Shall we take a look once more?” He says and you nod but this time you bring out a pokéball as well.

“Yes and this time I got an idea to ensure we will be on the right path and not get too lost.” You tell him before throwing the pokéball up in the air.

“Mismagius please come out and help me!”

Your beautifully haunting Mismagius comes out from her pokeball and she floats above the ground looking at you curiously before floating up to you to greet you warmly.

“Oh wow! A Mismagius!” Hongjoong says in awe stepping closer to you, that’s when your Pokémon notices the new person. She immediately hides behind you, still shy when it comes to new people and hiding behind you was a habit she had had since she was a Misdreavus before she had evolved.

“Yes Mismagius these are my new friends Hongjoong and Pachirisu!”

“Piplup, pip, lup pip.” Your Piplup seems to be encouraging her to come forward to say hi and it works because she floats out from behind you and up to Hongjoong. She circles him a few times before she seems to introduce herself to him by holding out one of her ‘arms’ and he takes it shaking it and giving her a kind smile.

“It’s lovely meeting you Mismagius.” Your friend turns shy again quickly hiding behind you as she giggles and you can’t help but laugh.

“Yeah it’s easy falling for that charming smile isn’t it?” You say looking back at her and she nods before giggling again.

“Okay! Now let’s check the map again all five of us and when we figure out where we should go I was wondering if you could use your psychic powers to help lead us as far as possible to Eterna City Mismagius?” You can hear her agree as she floats closer to the two of you who are now huddled around the map. The two of you discuss for a while where you could have possibly ended up after the mad dash to get away from the angry squadron of beedrills.

You both eventually agrees that you’re probably very far from Eterna City and where you originally started when you bumped into each other.

"Mismagius think you can create something that would guide us?" Hongjoong asks your friend and she looks intently at the map before her eyes start glowing blue, a telltale sign that she is using her psychic powers and after a while an arrow pops up in front of you.

"Oh that's amazing!" You hug her happily and she turns shy and bashful at your praise.

"This will make our journey much easier, thank you." Hongjoong also thanks her and she hides behind you once more. It's very clear she likes Hongjoong and it does surprise you a little bit.

She had always been shy and hesitant and mistrusting of people so seeing her actually like someone that wasn't you was a big feat. Perhaps it was Hongjoongs kindness that had won her over or his very kind eyes and that pretty smile?

He ends up laughing a little at her reactions.

"Shall we continue our journey? See how far we get today? I'm not so sure we will reach Eterna City before the day is over." He admits looking up to the sky where the sun sits lower than it had done earlier in the day.

"Don't worry about that, I got a sleeping bag and some food in my bag for situations like this." You tell him motioning towards your backpack trying not to feel disappointed about how you will miss the registration for the contest.

"Great, I got a sleeping bag as well!" He tells you as the two of you start following the arrow with Mismagius floating around you two making sure the arrow will not lead your group astray.

"So where are you from Hongjoong?" You question curiously.

"I'm from Twinleaftown!" He tells you. "It's a really small town near Sandgem town where Professor Rowans lab is."

"Oh! I think I know where it is then! You'd continue down the path through a small forest right? It's close to Lake Verity right?" You ask wanting to know if your memory served you correctly.

"Yes! I can't count all the times us kids would head to Lake Verity in hopes of seeing the mythical being said to live there! None of us had any luck when we were younger. Perhaps it's just a fairytale but it was fun going there with the hopes that you would be lucky enough." He chuckles at the memories and you nod.

"That sounds like something fun! I'm from Floaroma Town and the most exciting that happened there is I guess all the flowers planted there? Or perhaps the Valley Windworks... We didn't have any mythical beings to look for." You pout thinking how it would have been fun to chase that dream of seeing a rare pokemon as a child.

"I've heard Floaroma is beautiful during summer with all the flowers coming to life and blooming at the same time. I hope I get to see it one day."

"I can take you there if you'd like? I know exactly which time of the year is the best one for the flowers to bloom! And if we're lucky we get to see the roselias dance around the flower beds happily!" You tell him, already planning on when the best time to travel back home would be.

"I'd love that! Honestly I think we would make a good team traveling throughout the region together!" He admits shyly and you nod agreeing.

"We could see the world and perhaps you could help me when I practice for my contests as well! I always find it hard to figure things out when it's just me and my Pokémons working on it together." You tell him with a sigh.

The two of you continues to chat learning more and more about each other. You learn that Hongjoong has a friend who happens to also be a coordinator named Seonghwa and that they grew up together in Twinleaftown and left on their respective journeys around the same time. At first they had traveled together until they had decided they wanted to try traveling solo for a while to see how that would work out for them.

He tells you how he was actually scheduled to have a call with Seonghwa at the pokémoncenter but that he will probably have to call tomorrow instead.

"I just hope he won't be too worried that I didn't call him you know." He tells you as his shoulders sag lightly.

"I'm sure he will understand why you couldn't call him today. Things can come up when you're traveling the world alone and as long as we get there tomorrow and you can call him, then he won't be too worried." You assure him, patting his shoulder lightly.

"Yeah you're right about that. Thank you." He says earnestly, happy he could actually tell someone other than his pokémons about his worries.

To distract him a bit from what had him worried you proceed to tell him about the time you had by accident entered a cooking competition where you and your pokémons had to work together to create a dish which would be judged by the chefs in the village. Hongjoong had laughed loudly at that and asked how it went and you told him it was a disaster, your team which consisted of Piplup, who was too proud to realize he could not do everything he wanted and refused to back down, your then Misdreavus who kept on hiding behind you because she was so painfully shy around all these people watching you with curious eyes.

Mismagius had made an embarrassed noise at that, she was probably not overly fond having to remember that day and then of course your third and currently final pokemon on your team, Leafeon.

Leafeon was probably your biggest help as she cut up the veggies using her tail somehow but she was also at first not careful enough and had burned herself when she got too close to the fire. The contest had ended with you finishing last with a burnt meal and two pokemons you needed to nurse back to health after they had hurt themselves.

"Even if it was a disaster I had lots of fun actually. It was a good team bonding experience." You admit snickering at the memory of everyones shocked faces at the burnt dish you had so proudly presented them with.

"So your final Pokémon currently is a Leafeon?" He asks curiously and you nod.

"Yeah, I will let her out once we set camp and get ready for dinner." You mused.

"So is this story your way of telling me to do the cooking?" He jokes and you laugh loudly.

"I've become much better I promise but if it makes you feel better you can totally do the cooking." You say and the two of you joke back and forth for a while.

It is when you realize that the sun has almost set beyond the horizon that you two decide to stop and set up camp. The arrow Mismagius had conjured disappears as she allows herself to float around happily as you work on setting up your portable stove to cook some dinner. Piplup runs around checking the area curiously as Pachirisu follows him, probably to see if he can annoy Piplup some more.

"Is it okay if I let my other Pokémon's out as well?" Hongjoong asks and you let him know that he absolutely should as you let Leafeon out.

As Hongjoong throws up his pokéballs three new Pokémon's appear. A Riolu, a Snorunt and a Cranidos comes out and you marvel at his pokémons all of them looking so well cared for and happy to see their trainer.

All running up to greet him warmly.

"Oh wow you got such a variety! That's so cool and I've never seen a Cranidos before! Isn't that actually a fossil pokémon?" You ask as you stir the pot containing your food.

"Yeah it is, I found a skull fossil when I went to visit the Orburgh Mines and did some digging around there for fun and then at I think it was the museum they offered to revive it for me which I thought why not?" He told you as he petted said pokémons head.

"Oh wow that's amazing!" You marvel.

"Thank you."

"Ri-olu?" You hear next to you and that's when you notice his Riolu checking out the food you were cooking.

"It's almost done so if everyone get their bowls I will be able to serve food soon." You announce and suddenly you have all seven pokémon surrounding you holding their bowls eager to get some of the delicious smelling food.

Hongjoong laughs loudly at everyone's eager displays to get some food and jokingly runs to get his own bowl and get in line. You make sure to serve everyone including Hongjoong before filling up your own bowl and getting up to sit next to Hongjoong who is sitting near the crackling fire he had made earlier when you were setting up your camp.

"This is really cozy, I'm glad I ran into you earlier today." You mumble whilst blowing on your food to make sure it's not too hot before eating it.

"Me too, it's been a wild day today but I've enjoyed it so much and traveling together will be perhaps a little chaotic but fun." He admits before eating some of his food and making a pleased noise at the taste of it.

"This is great! I was a little worried after your story about the burnt food earlier but this is amazing." He tells you and you can feel your cheeks heating up.

"Oh it's nothing." You bashfully say trying to deny his praise but he shakes his head.

"No I'm serious it is great! You did such a good job!" He wouldn’t stop until you've agreed that yes you did a good job with the food.

“Thank you, it’s very sweet of you.”

The night sky is twinkling beautifully with stars and the moon is shining brightly above the two of you. Your Mismagius is floating around happily enjoying the night a lot as your other Pokémon’s start getting drowsy, most of them finding a place to lay down to sleep. You and Hongjoong makes sure to cover them all with blankets so they won’t get cold during the night before you both climb into your sleeping bags. You’ve placed them next to each other so you can easily communicate if needed.

Your friend Piplup wiggles into the sleeping bag so he can snuggle with you during the night, preferring the heat and the coziness of it all. Pachirisu does the same making sure he's on Hongjoongs stomach curled up nicely before promptly falling asleep.

“Goodnight Hongjoong, sweet dreams.” You mumble closing your eyes.

“Goodnight Y/n, sweet dreams.” Hongjoong mumbles back before falling asleep.

-the very next day at the Pokémon center-

“Finally you call! Do you know how worried I was when I called the Eterna city pokémon center five times at different times and you still hadn’t turned up there?!” Seonghwa berated Hongjoong through the screen of the tv and Hongjoong looked everywhere but at his friend who was scolding him harshly.

“Bun! Bun-neary!” Seonghwas partner Buneary was also on screen scolding him and Pachirisu and he let out a sigh before trying to explain.

“I’m sorry Seonghwa but we got lost, I couldn’t find my way out and then I bumped into my new friend here, Y/n!” He drags you into frame so Seonghwa can see you. “And they helped me out of the forest today! We got lost at first but then their Mismagius came and rescued the day.” He says and he can see Seonghwa relaxing a little bit.

“Okay fine but don’t do that again!”

“I won’t I promise I promise!” Hongjoong holds up his hands to show how serious he is and you decide to glance towards the tv to catch a glimpse of Hongjoongs friend and when you see him you gasp dramatically.

“Hongjoong you never told me you were friends with THEE Seonghwa!! He’s super famous in the contest world!!” You say before you turn to shake Hongjoong demanding answers how he could hide this from you.

You hadn’t understood that his Seonghwa was thee Pokémon coordinator Seonghwa that you were looking up to and Hongjoong tried to get in a word but he couldn’t due to how violently you were shaking him.

Seonghwa couldn’t help but laugh at the display he was seeing.

It served Hongjoong right for scaring him so much yesterday.

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makeitmingi · 6 months ago

Text

When Flowers Bloom In The Dark [Chapter 1]

Genre: Romance, Mafia!AU, Violence, Angst, Slow burn

Pairing: Hongjoong x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Florist!Reader, Mafioso!Hongjoong, Mafioso!Seonghwa, Mafioso!Yunho, Mafioso!Yeosang, Mafioso!San, Mafioso!Mingi, Mafioso!Wooyoung, Mafioso!Jongho

Summary: When you appeared and wept at his mother's funeral, Hongjoong found himself wanting to find out more about you. A regular girl, who owns a flower shop in his territory and has a relationship with the mother that he hasn't spoken to in years, why hasn't he ever noticed you before?

[Warning(s): 18+ for violence, use of weapons, smoking, alcohol consumption, slight gore, gang affiliation, tattoos and character deaths. Minors DNI. This is a work of fiction and does not represent the Ateez members in real life.]

Word count: 3.1K

(Chapter warning(s): Character death, grieving/ funeral, injury, recollection of previous argument, Hongjoong is in a weird place with his feelings.)

"Thank you for coming." Hongjoong had a stoic look on his face as he deeply bowed to the people that came to pay respects. The people bowed back, reaching out to shake his hand with a comforting smile on their faces.

"She was a good woman. Kind." They patted him on the shoulder. All he could do was stiffly nod in reply.

"Please help yourself to the food and refreshments." He forced a small smile and gestured to the buffet spread where the other people were all seated.

"Should we ask him to take a break?" Yunho leaned over to ask Seonghwa as the older collated the beoseom money together.

"You can try but he's not going to like it. Just let him do what he needs to do." Seonghwa replied.

"Hyung loved his mother. They didn't have the best relationship but I know he always missed seeing her and talking to her." Yunho sighed with a small frown. Seonghwa hummed in agreement.

"But this is for him to figure out. We'll just help him where he wants us." Seonghwa said.

Hongjoong recognised all the people that came. All friends of his late father and now, mother, or his own allies. They were men that worked for him or with him. Although they didn't know his mother at all, he knew that Wooyoung had gathered all their men to come and support him as the leader.

"Oh, coming." Hongjoong noticed some people going to pay their respects and went to his post as the son, keeping his head lowered as they bowed to his mother's casket.

"You have our condolences, Hongjoong sshi. If you need anything, let us know." The leader of a small gang shook his hand.

"Thanks." He nodded. Hongjoong knew their motive, it was to create favours and forge loyalties with Ateez.

"Umm, excuse me." Hongjoong looked up at the sudden entrance of a light, tinkling voice. He eyes fell on the girl that entered, she looked so different, sticking out like a sore thumb.

Who are you?

"Here you go." You took out an envelope of money and handed it to Yunho and Seonghwa, who received it with a bow.

"You can head that way." Seonghwa gestured to where Hongjoong was standing. From the looks of it, Seonghwa seemed just as entranced and/or curious about you as Hongjoong was. You nodded and headed to him.

"You must be Hongjoong sshi." You looked at him with familiarity, still cradling the small bouquet of flowers in your arms. All Hongjoong could do was nod.

How did you know him? He, for sure, didn't know you. There wasn't an inkling of recollection seeing your face or hearing your voice.

"If it's okay with you, can I place this bouquet by the casket? It's our favourite flower." You asked politely.

"Go ahead. Thank you." He nodded. 'Our' favourite? His eyes followed you as you placed the bouquet of white tulips by the casket. The bouquet was simple but elegant.

"I'll miss our afternoon chats. Take care of yourself and rest easy." You prayed softly as you bowed to his mother's casket.

"Thank you for coming." Hongjoong said to you when the both of you stood up from your kneeled positions.

"S-Sorry..." Your bottom lip quivered and tears streamed down your face as you struggled to wipe them all away. There was so much grief and upset on your face, you probably felt more grief than Hongjoong did. Hongjoong held his handkerchief out to you but you hesitated, you didn't know him to take it.

"It's okay." He whispered, trying to convince you. With a shaky hand, you took the white cloth and dried your tears. All this time, Hongjoong was trying to study you.

"Thanks." You smiled awkwardly.

"How do you know me? Did you know my mother?" He asked, even if the answer was obviously yes.

"She comes by my shop almost every afternoon to chat with me. She'll even bring tea and snacks with her. I recognise you from the photos she shared with me." You giggled.

"I see... Well-"

"Hongjoong hyung, there are more mourners. Do you want me to take over?" Someone came over.

"No, it's fine, San ah." Hongjoong assured his brother and bowed his head to you before going back to where the casket was. You tucked the handkerchief into your pocket.

"There are snacks and refreshments." You were directed to the area where the other mourners were chatting, eating and drinking. There were barely any other women around, all men dressed in suits. It almost felt like a business convention, not a funeral.

"Who is that?" Wooyoung asked San when he came back to where they were seated.

"No idea." San shook his head. The 7 Ateez members watched you with curiosity. You sat in the corner by yourself, you didn't take any food or drinks.

"Do any of you know her or recognise her?" Mingi blinked.

"I think she genuinely knew my mother." The boys looked up to see Hongjoong standing behind them.

"Really?" Even Seonghwa was shocked too. They all knew that everyone who came didn't know Hongjoong's mother. How did someone like you befriend Hongjoong's mother?

"She's definitely not from underground." Yeosang said. You were still wiping stray tears that escaped your eyes.

"She's... really grieving the lost of my mother... Even more than me." Hongjoong observed.

"Her name is (y/n)." Yunho said, reading from the mourners book of those that came. The others didn't even notice that Hongjoong left them, going over to where you were seated alone. When Hongjoong pulled out the chair next to yours, you blinked, breaking out of your reminiscing moment.

"Apologies." He said.

"Don't apologise, you must be busy having to do this on your own, on top of the fact that you're mourning and grieving too." You shook your head with a soft smile.

"I have a good support system." He nodded over to where the other Ateez members were.

"You must haven known my mother well to know her favourite flower." Hongjoong brought the conversation back.

"She always came to buy them from me, along with other flowers. That's when I learnt that we both have the same favourite flower. I'm a florist actually." You informed.

"Oh... And here, I didn't even know my mother had a favourite flower." He chuckled.

"Hongjoong sshi." You shocked him and frankly, yourself too, when you placed a hand over his own in comfort.

"I'll miss her too but it'll be okay. From the way your mother spoke fondly of you, I could tell that you both had a great relationship. At least you'll still have your good memories of her with you." You smiled softly. Suddenly, Hongjoong retracted his hand.

"Excuse me." He stood up, buttoning his blazer. He watched as your face fell.

"Hongjoong sshi. I-I'm sorry." You stuttered, realising what you just said to him and how your words crossed a boundary. Hongjoong clenched his jaw and walked back to where Ateez was.

"Woah, hyung. You okay?" Jongho asked, noticing the sudden change in Hongjoong's mood and expression.

"I'm fine." Hongjoong replied through gritted teeth.

Despite what happened, you still stayed until the final standoff. Hongjoong was unexpectedly hypervigilant of where you were, standing on your own at the back of the crowd.

"Hang on." Before the Ateez boys could load his mother's casket into the back of the hearse, he stopped them.

"Captain?" They were confused. Leaning down, Hongjoong grabbed a stalk of flower from your bouquet and placed it on top.

"Carry on." He cleared his throat, side eyeing you. You were watching the entire time as you cried softly to yourself. All the mourners that hadn't left bowed to the hearse as it closed. Hongjoong, still holding his mother's picture, walked to the front seats where he would follow along to the burial site.

"We'll follow behind, hyung." Wooyoung said to him. Hongjoong nodded and entered with Mingi closing the door behind him. The 7 entered their respective vans that were prepared.

As the hearse began to pull out of the drive way, Hongjoong spotted you walking along the streets, arms hugging yourself.

"Who are you?" He whispered as you walked further away.

When the news of his mother's passing first came until this moment, Hongjoong hadn't shed a tear. Was he cruel or unfilial for not doing so? Or were tears just a sign of weakness?

"Good memories?" Hongjoong turned to his mother's picture, remembering what you said to him.

You sighed as you made your way into your apartment. After you removed your shoes, you fell back onto the couch.

"I can't believe you're gone." You said, feeling tears well up in your eyes again as you thought about Mrs Kim and her not being around any longer. Maybe because you grew up without a mother, she was the closest thing to a mother that you had.

"Can I help you?" The doorman asked when he saw how confused you were upon entering the building.

"Oh, good morning. Sorry to bother you but I'm looking for Mrs Kim? I hope I have the right address." You scratched your head, bowing to the older male.

"Do you mean the Mrs Kim that stays in the penthouse? I'm sorry but she passed away yesterday." He informed.

"W-Wait, what?" You couldn't believe it. The flower bouquet slipping from your hands.

"Are you okay, agashi? Yes, unfortunately, Mrs Kim passed." He picked up the bouquet, placing a hand on your shoulder. It was so shocking you couldn't even cry.

"Are you family?" He asked. It took you a while to answer as the news was still sinking in.

"N-No... I'm not but I knew her..." You tried your best to form a coherant answer in your head but it was too difficult.

"I'm sorry, agashi." He said sadly. You bowed your head and turned around, leaving the building. When you reached home, you searched funeral homes online and there it was, her name and her picture. It only solidified that what the doorman said was true, the closest person to a mother that you've had was gone.

"I can't believe I said that. (y/n), what did you do?" You facepalmed when you remembered what you said to Hongjoong. Who were you to tell him that?

"He's her real son, you're not." You scolded yourself, holding Hongjoong handkerchief in your lap.

Mrs Kim always spoke about Hongjoong with such a sad smile, indicating that their relationship wasn't amicable.

There was love, of course. But you could hear the regret and guilt in her voice. All you knew was that if you were to run into him again, you'll definitely apologise for overstepping.

Hongjoong seemed cold but you were grateful that he placed one of your flowers on top of her casket before the hearse left. Whether it was done for you or for her, Hongjoong's gesture warmed your heart.

"Where's he?" Seonghwa asked as he climbed up the stairs to the second floor. The younger ones nodded over to Hongjoong's back. The captain leaned against the banister of the terrace, a glass of whiskey held by his fingertips.

"He's still there. Been there since we've come back." Yeosang informed.

"(y/n) (y/l/n). She's a florist in Hongjoong hyung's territory, studying botany part time. Practically as normal as it gets." Jongho walked over, closing a folder. Seonghwa took it and read it.

"As long as she isn't a threat." San shrugged.

"Far from. If there was a motive for her to get close to Mrs Kim, it's not in the file." Jongho said, pouring himself a drink.

"But damn, she seemed to be closer to Mrs Kim than Hongjoong hyung was." Mingi stated and Seonghwa slapped the back of his head for being so direct.

"What? It's the truth..." Mingi rubbed his head. Yunho sighed, patting his best friend's back.

"Hyung will be fine, right? He has to be. He's our captain and our leader. Let's just give him some time then he'll bounce back like always." Wooyoung said with a small frown. Seonghwa nodded in agreement. Although Hongjoong suppresses his feelings and emotions, he always puts Ateez first.

"Yes, Hongjoong will be okay. He just needs space now. And don't bring up the girl anymore, okay?" Seonghwa said. The younger 6 nodded their heads obediently.

"Hyung, what happened between Hongjoong hyung and his mother?" San asked.

"No idea. Even if I did, it's not my story to tell." Seonghwa shrugged.

He is Hongjoong's best friend and second in command, but he didn't know what was Hongjoong's relationship with his mother. It was almost a love-hate relationship, for Hongjoong at least.

"Go back to work. Give Hongjoong a few days off, I'll be taking over his duties in the mean time." Seonghwa informed.

"Sure, hyung." All of them split up to go back to work. Seonghwa cast one more worried glance at his best friend's back before leaving.

Hongjoong sighed as he took another sip of whiskey. Even as he shovelled the dirt over his mother's casket, he didn't shed a tear. The heartache was there but he couldn't will himself to cry. He watched as the flower he placed on top got sullied by the dirt.

"She's really gone." He breathed out.

"You're really gone." He repeated as if he was speaking directly to his mother, clenching the glass in his hand.

You, the girl that appeared out of nowhere, seemed to have a much better relationship with his mother than he did. You cried while Hongjoong was emotionless.

"Damn it." Hongjoong must have channeled all his frustration to his hand because before he knew it, the crystal shattered into pieces.

"Hyung!" Yeosang rushed out, having seen the whole thing.

"I'm fine, Yeosang." Hongjoong hissed, cradling his now injured hand. Yeosang gently took it into his own hands, looking at how bad is was. Blood began to drip on the tiles.

"No, it's not fine. There's crystal shards in your hand now. Come." Yeosang frowned and brought Hongjoong in.

"Get someone to clean the terrace." Yeosang said to a passing butler, who nodded with a deep bow. He brought the captain to his office where his medical supplies were. Thankfully, Hongjoong didn't protest and sat down, patiently waiting for Yeosang to get what he needed to treat his hand.

"Don't move." Yeosang said as he took forceps and tried to remove the crystal pieces from the cuts. Luckily it wasn't too deep that he would need stitches.

"Are you not going to ask me anything?" Hongjoong asked as Yeosang took a magnifier to look for any smaller pieces.

"No. What's there to ask?" Yeosang asked back. At that, Hongjoong sighed and just leaned back in the seat.

"This is going to sting. Bear with me." Yeosang took the antiseptic and spray it over Hongjoong's hand, causing the leader to let out an onslaught of curse words and winces.

"I saw the butler cleaning glass on the terrace. What happened?" San came in.

"Just a small accident." Hongjoong sighed again, watching Yeosang use gauze to wrap up his hand.

"We're done. If it starts to bleed through the bandages, you have to get them changed. If not then I'll check on them in a few days." Yeosang said as he used clips and medical tape to secure the bandage. Hongjoong nodded and stood up.

"Thanks, Sangie." He left Yeosang's room. San stared at where their captain disappeared to.

"Everyone deals with grief differently, whether they want to admit it or not." San said and Yeosang let out a hum in agreement, clearing the bloodied gauze and area.

"He'll be okay. Hyung is strong." Yeosang assured.

When Hongjoong went upstairs to go back to his room, he walked past the second floor lounge and saw a file there.

'(y/n) (y/l/n)'

So, the boys went to search up on you and who you were. Reaching down, Hongjoong took the file and tucked it under his arm, retreating to his room.

"Florist... Studies botany... That's it?" He read the file as he walked. If there was anything else, even secrets, he knew Jongho and Yunho would have found it by now. No piece of information escapes those two. They can source information about a person's entire life on their computers, it's why they're the best.

"Oh?" Hongjoong paused, eyebrows raising when he saw the location of your shop. It was in the territory that he took care of, which was also the area where his mother's house was.

Despite that, Hongjoong has never once visited his mother nor has he spoken to her in years.

"How could you do this? How could you do this to me?! To us?!" Hongjoong yelled, seething with so much anger.

"I know... I'm a horrible mother, I'm sorry Hongjoong ah." His mother shook her head, tears in her eyes as she faced her angry son. She didn't even bother to give an excuse.

"Why?! Why would you do this?" He faced her, his own tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I couldn't just standby and watch. I couldn't." The woman wrapped her arms around herself pitifully. This time, Hongjoong didn't hug her.

"After everything, you'll still side with him. After knowing what he did to all of us, including you, you still..." Hongjoong shook his head, unable to finish his sentence. He was just filled with so much rage he couldn't even breathe properly.

"Get out. I never want to see you again." He turned away, hearing her soft footsteps leave his office and disappear.

"Seonghwa." Hongjoong called out, knowing that his second in command was standing nearby and most probably overheard the entire exchange that happened.

"Yeah?" Seonghwa walked in.

"I want her out of here now. Buy her a house or whatever, somewhere I don't have to see her." Hongjoong ordered.

"Sure, Hongjoong." Seonghwa bowed his head and exited the office. Hongjoong let out a yell, angrily swiping everything off his desk. Papers flews and things broke but he didn't care.

Seonghwa ended up buying his mother a penthouse apartment in the territory that Hongjoong managed. Although Hongjoong didn't like that idea, Seonghwa gave an excuse that at least Hongjoong could keep an eye on her.

He didn't know that Seonghwa did that so if he ever wanted to see his mother again or let her make amends for what she did, he'll know where she is.

But it was too late anyway. Hongjoong's mother was gone, there were no more amends to make, no more apologies.

"Great relationship? Good memories?" Hongjoong bitterly scoffed once again when he remembered your words, throwing your file aside and going to take a much needed shower.

He needed to get out of his head.

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roomsofangel · 10 months ago

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mouth agape, soft breaths shakily escaping with each touch the padding of his slender fingers created on your bare skin, your doe eyes looked into his — a prey gazing into their predator’s desire with claws just as fatal

“how much can you handle?” you teased, fluttering your eyes shut for a moment to listen to his breathing that only quickened, the sound of metal clasping and a low throat based chuckle, you opened to watch him undo his belt, a mocking grin on your face to rile him more

hongjoong hummed, sliding off his belt fully to throw aside, “what are you willing to give me?” eyes never leaving yours, devouring each and every part of you with sight alone, he sunk to his knees as if he was worshiping and you were his religion.

soft butterfly kisses on your inner thighs, your head fell back, sharply inhaling — fingers finding their way to his hair, a slight rough tug earning a groan from the other, “so pretty on your knees, hongjoong, what would your men say if they saw you on them for me?” you taunted

straightening his posture, lips ghosting over yours, hongjoong lowly chuckled, “then why don’t you get on them for me, doll~”

a challenge accepted.

sinking down slowly, eyes never leaving his predator gaze as if the answer to his previous question was just that. everything, your eyes read. i’m willing to give you everything. your hands trailed alongside you, dragging down his body before they stopped at his waistline, your fingers finding the buttons to undo his pants before pulling them down low enough to take his hardened cock that was already leaking precum, doe eyes looking up at him with a grin, “you sure you’ll last?” jaw clenched, hongjoong snaked the flat palm of his hand to the back of your head, slightly moving you closer to his length, “just be a good girl for me.”

#kim hongjoong smut #ateez smut #ateez #kim hongjoong #kim hongjoong scenarios #kim hongjoong imagines #hongjoong #ateez hongjoong #ateez hard hours #ateez hard thoughts #ateez fic #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez writing

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bunny-hwa · 22 days ago

Text

Popular, Boy

☆06: The first move.

Pairing: Nerd!Hongjoong x Popular!Reader

Genre: +18, slow burn, angst, smut, drama, dark academic, love triangle.

wc: 10,8k

Summary: You and Hongjoong grow closer, but in your world, trust is a dangerous thing. Mike's cruelty lingers, and in the shadows, a plan unfolds... One designed to break you.

Break your heart, and make you question everything... especially Hongjoong.

Warnings: Verbal abuse, past trauma (?), power dynamics, fluff, suggestive.

Series masterlist

☆05 ☆07

The low rumble of the engine fills the quiet evening air as you glance out the window. The car is nothing like the sleek, expensive vehicles sitting in your family’s garage. It’s modest, a little old, and the faint smell of worn leather lingers in the air.

“You borrowed this from your dad?” You ask, raising an eyebrow as you turn to Hongjoong.

He shrugs, his hands gripping the steering wheel with a mix of focus and nervousness. “Yeah. Figured it’s better than taking the bus.”

The bus? Hell no, you have never been in one and you hope it never happens.

You glance at him, a small, amused smirk playing on your lips. The whole thing is… endearing in a way you don’t expect.

“So, are you going to tell me where we’re going?” You cross your legs and adjust your pink leather jacket.

“Nope.” His lips quirk into a smile, but he keeps his eyes on the road “Just sit back and enjoy the ride, pretty.”

You roll your eyes but don’t press further. There’s something about his excitement that keeps your curiosity piqued.

When the car finally comes to a stop, you step out and immediately catch the sound of distant laughter and the faint scent of fried food in the air. Turning toward the neon-lit entrance ahead, your brows knit together.

“An amusement park?” Your voice is tinged with surprise.

Hongjoong steps around to your side, his hands in his pockets and a slightly nervous look on his face.

“You said you’d never been to one, so…” He gestures toward the brightly lit rides.

You glance down at your outfit—high heel boots, a sleek skirt, and your leather jacket—then back at him.

“And you didn’t think to mention that I might want to dress for this?”

He grins, his nervousness fading into a playful confidence “You’ll be fine. You look beautiful and you could rock a runway in a park if you wanted to.”

You shake your head, unable to suppress a smile “Fine. Lead the way.”

The ticket booth is up ahead, and you instinctively reach for your purse, already accustomed to paying for yourself—and for others. But before you can even unzip it, Hongjoong steps forward, pulling out his wallet.

“Two adults, please.” He says, handing over the cash.

You blink, momentarily stunned. People don’t usually pay for you. They just assume you’ll foot the bill, given your family’s wealth. But here Hongjoong is, without hesitation, handling everything.

“Thanks.” You say, your voice softer than usual.

He shoots you a small, reassuring smile “It’s a date, isn’t it?”

The park is alive with energy—bright lights, music, and the unmistakable hum of excitement in the air. You’re not sure what to expect, but as the night unfolds, you find yourself swept up in the moment.

Hongjoong pulls you from ride to ride, his enthusiasm contagious. You scream on the roller coasters, laugh uncontrollably on the spinning teacups, and you surprise yourself by enjoying the bumper cars, laughing uncontrollably as Hongjoong tried—and failed—to outmaneuver you.

Hongjoong made a great effort to win a small stuffed bunny at one of the carnival games, he handed it to you with a triumphant grin.

“For you,” He says, holding it out.

“Seriously?” You ask, but there is no hiding the smile that tug at your lips “It’s so tacky.”

“Tacky but adorable, just like you.” He counters with a pretty smile.

And you find yourself clutching the fluffy bunny tightly as you continue through the park.

At the snack stand, you try to insist on paying, but Hongjoong beats you to it again, handing over the cash before you can protest.

“You’re really committed to this, huh?” You tease.

He shrugs, offering you a bag of popcorn “I like treating you. You’re worth it.”

The words catch you off guard, leaving a strange warmth in their wake. You look at him, the boyish grin on his face, and wonder how he can be so… genuine.

As the day turns into evening, the park’s lights flicker on, casting a magical glow over everything. You stand in line for the carousel, the soft music adding a nostalgic charm.

You climb into one of the ornate horses, your laughter echoing as Hongjoong chooses the one beside you.

“You’re having fun, admit it.” He says, his voice filled with mock accusations.

You tilt your head, a playful smirk on your lips “Maybe a little.”

The carousel begins to move, and for a moment, you let yourself get lost in the moment. The weight of your pride, your fears, and the persona you had carefully crafted seems to fade.

It’s just you and Hongjoong, spinning in a world that feels oddly perfect.

As the evening wears on, you realize something else—you’re having fun. Real, uncomplicated fun. It’s a feeling you’re not used to, and it’s equal parts exhilarating and terrifying.

When you finally board the Ferris wheel, the city sprawls out below you, glittering in the night. The car sways gently, and Hongjoong’s arm rests casually on the back of your seat.

“You’ve been quiet,” He glances at you “What’s on your mind?”

You hesitate, your fingers toying with the hem of your jacket “I guess… I’m not used to this.”

“To what?”

“To someone doing all of this just for me.” You admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

He looks at you, his expression softening “You deserve it, pretty. All of it.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, unsure of how to respond. The gnawing doubt in the back of your mind refuses to let go.

What if this isn’t real? What if he’s just playing along, trying to climb some invisible ladder to the top?

The Ferris wheel car rocks gently as it halts at the top, giving you a perfect view of the glowing amusement park below. The world feels smaller up here, the laughter and music from the park blending into a soft hum. But your focus isn’t on the view.

Hongjoong’s hand brushes against yours, hesitant yet deliberate “YN,” He begins, his voice soft but firm, breaking the fragile silence. You turn to him, caught off guard by the serious tone in his voice “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” His eyes locking onto yours “Something I should’ve said a long time ago.”

You blink, unsure of where he’s going with this “What is it?”

He exhales deeply, running a hand through his hair “Do you remember the first time we met? On the first day of college?”

You frown slightly, trying to recall “I remember you asking me for a pen and I told you not to speak to me again and get lost.” Both of you chuckle at the memory “You were… different back then.”

He smiles faintly, though there’s a sadness to it “I was, and I remember everything about that moment. How you walked into the lecture hall like you owned the place, and every single person in the room noticed you. Including me.”

You tilt your head, curious now.

“I knew I didn’t stand a chance,” He continues, his voice quiet “You were… YN. Popular, beautiful, confident—everything I wasn’t. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And I guess, in some way, I thought if I could change myself, maybe you’d notice me.”

“Change yourself?” You echo, your brow furrowing.

He nods, a faint, self-deprecating chuckle escaping his lips “The clothes, the hair, trying to fit in with your world—it was all for you. Even when I begged you to make me popular, it wasn’t really about the popularity. I just wanted to be enough for you. To have a chance with you.”

His words hit you like a wave, and for a moment, you don’t know what to say.

“You hated me back then.” You murmur, though your voice lacks conviction.

“I didn’t hate you,” He says firmly, his gaze unwavering “I hated how you treated me sometimes, yeah. But I didn’t hate you. How could I, when I was in love with you?”

Your breath catches “In love with me?”

“Since that first day,” Hongjoong admits, his voice barely above a whisper “It didn’t matter that you barely knew I existed. It didn’t matter how hard it was to watch you humiliate me or use me as a punchline. I just wanted you to notice me, YN. Even if it hurts.”

A lump forms in your throat as you stare at him. His words are raw, honest, and so unlike the Kim Hongjoong you’ve grown accustomed to.

“Hongjoong…” You trail off, your voice faltering.

He shakes his head, his hand tightening around yours.

“I know how it sounds. And I get it if you don’t feel the same way. But I had to tell you. Because all of this? It’s real for me. You’re real for me.”

You feel your chest tighten, the weight of his confession pressing down on you. Part of you wants to believe him, to let yourself fall into the warmth of his feelings, but the doubts linger.

“What if…” You begin, your voice trembling “What if you’re wrong? What if this isn’t real?”

“I’m not wrong,” He says with quiet determination “And I’ll prove it to you, pretty. Every day, if I have to.”

His words stir something deep inside you, but the echoes of your brother’s voice resurface: ‘Once the thrill of the game wears off, they’ll both be exactly where they belong—crumbling.’

You bite your lip, trying to suppress the turmoil within you.

“I don’t know if I can trust this.”

Hongjoong leans closer, his eyes searching yours “You don’t have to trust it all at once. Just… let me show you. Let me prove to you that I’m not going anywhere.”

For a moment, you hesitate, your heart warring with your mind. But then, as if on instinct, you lean in and press your lips to his.

The kiss is soft at first, tentative, but then it deepens, his hands cupping your face as yours find their way to his shoulders. For a moment, the world around you disappears, leaving only the warmth of his touch and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

When you finally pull away, breathless and flushed, Hongjoong’s eyes are wide, his expression filled with awe.

“Does this mean that we are…?”

“It means,” You interrupt, your voice trembling but steady “That I’m giving you a chance to prove it, then we discuss what will happen. Don’t make me regret it.”

He smiles, the kind of smile that reaches his eyes and lights up his entire face.

“I won’t. I promise.”

The Ferris wheel begins to move again, but this time, as it descends, you feel lighter, the weight of your doubts momentarily lifted.

Maybe this is reckless. Maybe it’ll all fall apart. But as Hongjoong’s hand finds yours again, lacing your fingers together, you decide—for now—you’ll take the risk.

✮ ⋆

The hum of the car engine fades as Hongjoong pulls up to your family’s grand estate, its sprawling driveway illuminated by soft outdoor lighting. He steps out of the old car and quickly moves to your side, opening the door for you with a charming smile.

“Such a gentleman.”

You tease, stepping out in your heels, clutching the medium-sized plush bunny he’d won for you at the amusement park. Its soft, floppy ears brush against your arm, and for reasons you can’t quite explain, holding it makes you feel… warm.

“Well, tonight was special. You deserve the whole VIP treatment.” He quips, offering his hand to steady you.

As the two of you walk toward the front steps, the soft chill of the evening air wraps around you, but you barely notice it. The warmth of the evening lingers, and you’re not quite ready to let it go.

“I had fun tonight.” You admit, your voice softer than usual.

“Yeah?” He asks, his eyes lighting up “You’re not just saying that because I let you beat me at the ring toss, are you?”

You roll your eyes, a laugh escaping as you hug the bunny tighter.

“You didn’t let me win. I’m just naturally talented.”

Hongjoong grins, leaning slightly closer “Naturally talented, huh? I’ll remember that next time I’m getting crushed at bumper cars.”

A comfortable silence falls between you for a moment as you both reach the front door.

“Thank you, Hongjoong,” You say, turning to face him fully “For everything. I mean it.”

He scratches the back of his neck, his cheeks tinged pink under the porch light. “You don’t have to thank me. I just… I wanted you to have a good time.”

“Well, mission accomplished.” You reply, your smile lingering.

The moment feels charged, like the quiet pause before a firework explodes. Slowly, he steps closer, his gaze flickering from your eyes to your lips.

“Goodnight, pretty.” He says softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Goodnight, Joongie.” You reply, leaning in.

Your lips meet in a tender kiss, warm and unhurried, the kind that feels like a promise. The bunny slips slightly in your grip, but Hongjoong steadies it with a hand, his touch lingering just long enough to make your heart flutter.

When you pull back, there’s a flicker of hesitation in his eyes, as though he’s reluctant to leave.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at school.” He murmurs, his hand brushing yours one last time before he turns and walks back to his car.

You watch him drive away, the sound of the engine fading into the night. For a brief moment, you stand there, feeling lighter than you have in weeks.

The plush bunny in your arms feels oddly comforting, and you catch yourself smiling at the memory of him insisting on winning it for you. He’d been so focused, so determined, as though nothing else in the world mattered.

But the warmth is short-lived.

As you step inside, the soft click of your heels echoes in the dimly lit foyer. The house feels quiet, almost too quiet, and a sense of unease prickles at the back of your neck.

“Late night, huh?” You freeze. Mike’s voice cuts through the silence like a knife, cold and taunting.

He steps out from the shadows of the living room, his arms crossed, and an infuriatingly smug look on his face.

“So, did Prince Nerd sweep you off your feet?”

You roll your eyes, trying to keep your composure “Go to bed, Mike. You’re not my keeper.”

He chuckles, the sound low and mocking “Oh, but it’s so entertaining watching you play house with your little project.”

You glare at him, your defenses rising “He’s not a project. And you don’t know anything about him.”

Mike raises an eyebrow, stepping closer “Don’t I? Let’s see… Hongjoong, the reformed nerd. The guy who suddenly started hanging out with the queen bee… How curious, don't you think?” Your jaw tightens, but he doesn’t stop “You think that’s love, YN? Or is it desperation?"

"Face it, dear sister. He’s obsessed with you because you’re a trophy. The queen bee who gave him the time of day. Do you really think that’ll last? Once he realizes he can’t keep up, he’ll snap back to reality. And where does that leave you?”

“Stop it,” You snap, your voice shaking slightly.

But Mike only smirks “You’re scared, aren’t you? Scared that I’m right. Scared that once the shine wears off, he’ll remember who he really is—and leave you behind.”

His words sink in like claws, dragging at the fragile hope you’d started to build tonight. You open your mouth to fire back, but the lump in your throat stops you.

Mike leans in, his voice dropping to a whisper “Enjoy the fairytale while it lasts, little sister. Because when it ends, it’s going to hurt.”

Without another word, he turns and disappears into the shadows, leaving you standing there, clutching the bunny tightly to your chest.

The warmth of Hongjoong’s kiss feels like a distant memory now, overshadowed by the weight of Mike’s cruel words.

As you climb the stairs to your room, the doubts creep in, unbidden and relentless.

You set the bunny down on your bed, its soft, innocent face staring back at you as though mocking your turmoil.

Tonight was perfect. But now, you’re not so sure how long perfect can last.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

March, 2008⋆｡

You were five years old, standing in the middle of the schoolyard with a bouquet of cheap plastic flowers and a small silver medal hanging around your neck. The other kids were swarmed by their parents, showered in hugs, kisses, and congratulations.

You stood apart, your smile faltering as you scanned the crowd again and again, hoping to find a familiar face.

But your parents never came.

By the time the babysitter arrived to take you home, the festival had already ended, and the school grounds were nearly empty. You sat quietly in the car, clutching the medal tightly in your small hands, determined not to cry.

You had worked so hard for the performance, staying late after school for weeks, practicing the routine over and over. You had wanted your parents to see you, to be proud of you.

When you finally got home, the house was dark. Your parents weren’t there, of course. They had told you that morning that they might be "a little late," but you hadn’t realized it meant missing the entire festival.

The babysitter gave you a sympathetic smile before heading upstairs. You sat at the dining table, the silver medal still around your neck, as you stared at the empty chairs where your parents should’ve been.

It wasn’t until late at night that you heard the front door open. You rushed downstairs, your little heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and apprehension.

Your parents entered, followed by your eight-year-old brother, Mike, who was holding a shiny trophy in his hands.

“Look at this, first place!” Mike boasted, raising the trophy high.

“We’re so proud of you, Mike.” Your mother said, ruffling his hair.

“Mommy, Daddy,” You began hesitantly, clutching her medal “You missed my dance festival.”

Your parents glanced at you briefly, their smiles faltering for just a moment.

“Oh, honey, we’re so sorry,” Your father said, though his tone was distracted “But Mike had his soccer game today, and his team won! It was such an important match.”

“I won too. I won second place, look.” You said quietly, holding up your medal with a smile.

You looked between your parents, hoping for a flicker of pride, of recognition.

Mike snorted “Second place? That’s just the first loser, YN.”

Your cheeks burned, and your grip on the medal tightened “It’s still good,” You muttered.

The oldest exchanged a quick look before your mother knelt down in front of you.

“That's incredible, sweetie. We’re sorry we couldn’t make it. We’ll make it up to you, okay? Tomorrow, we’ll take you to the store, and you can pick out whatever you want. How does that sound?”

You nodded slowly, but the hollow ache in your chest didn’t go away. You watched as your parents returned their attention to Mike, showering him with questions about his game, reliving every goal and every cheer.

You stood there, forgotten, the silver medal in your hand feeling heavier by the second.

That night, as you lay in bed, you stared at the medal on the nightstand. You thought about the promise your parents had made, the reward they’d offered to soothe their absence.

A reward.

That’s what you were worth to them. Not their time, not their presence, but a material gift to ease their guilt.

And so, even at five years old, you learned a valuable lesson: if you couldn’t earn love, you could at least be compensated for its absence.

✮ ⋆

October, 2017⋆｡

The house was alive with music, laughter, and the clinking of glasses. Streamers in shades of purple and gold adorned the grand living room, and a three-tier cake stood proudly at the center of the dining table, surrounded by an array of delicately prepared treats.

It was your fifteenth birthday—or at least, it was supposed to be.

You stood near the large bay window, your dress a vision of elegance and sparkle, the kind your mother had insisted on getting for the occasion. But your smile was thin and forced, your eyes constantly darting to the growing crowd around Mike.

Your older brother was the center of attention, as he always seemed to be.

Earlier that evening, just as the guests began to arrive, Mike had announced to their parents that he had been accepted into the most prestigious university in the country. The news was met with exuberant cheers and immediate celebration.

Your parents’ pride radiated like the sun, casting a shadow over everything else—including you.

At first, you tried to hold onto the joy of your own milestone, but as the night wore on, the decorations, the cake, and even the guests seemed to shift their focus.

“To Mike!” Your father’s voice boomed as he raised a glass of champagne “For making us the proudest parents alive!”

A collective cheer followed, and you felt your chest tighten. You glanced at your mother, hoping for a gesture of acknowledgment, but she was too busy beaming at Mike.

The words you had rehearsed to thank everyone for coming stayed locked in your throat.

“It’s okay…” You told yourself, gripping the edges of the dress to steady your trembling hands.

As the hours passed, your birthday transformed into an impromptu celebration for Mike’s achievement. Relatives and family friends crowded around him, offering their congratulations. The gifts that were meant for you sat unopened on a side table, forgotten.

Later that night, after most of the guests had left, you found yourself alone in the kitchen, picking at the remains of the untouched birthday cake. Your parents walked in, their faces still glowing with pride.

“Darling,” Your father said, noticing your somber expression “Why are you here by yourself? It was such a wonderful evening.”

You looked up at him, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“It was supposed to be my birthday party.”

Your mother’s smile faltered “Oh, sweetheart, we’re so sorry,” She said, reaching out to place a hand on your shoulder “But you understand how important this is for Mike, don’t you? This is such a big accomplishment for him.”

“I guess.” You mumbled, though the ache in your chest remained.

Mike walked in then, a triumphant grin on his face “What’s this? Pouting because you had to share the spotlight?” He teased, ruffling your hair in that condescending way that always made your blood boil.

“It’s not a big deal. Come on, you should be happy for me. Not everyone gets into a school like this.”

You clenched your fists, fighting the urge to lash out “Happy birthday to me.” You muttered under her breath.

Her parents, sensing the tension, exchanged a quick glance.

“YN, we’ll make it up to you. Tomorrow, we’ll take you shopping and get you whatever you want. Anything at all.”

You forced a smile, nodding mechanically.

“Sure. Thanks.”

But as you lay in bed that night, staring at the ceiling, you couldn’t shake the feeling of being invisible. No matter how hard you tried, it seemed you would always come second to Mike—the golden child, the perfect son, the one who could do no wrong.

And so, the seeds of bitterness were planted, watered by years of neglect and overshadowed by a brother who always shone brighter.

You promised yourself then that you would never let anyone make you feel small again.

If you had to be cruel to survive, so be it. Because in a world where everyone else seemed to have the upper hand, kindness felt like a luxury you couldn’t afford.

✮ ⋆

July, 2020⋆｡

The dining room was filled with laughter and the soft clinking of glasses. The long table was adorned with an elegant spread, shimmering under the chandelier’s warm glow.

It was Mike’s farewell dinner, a grand event in honor of his departure to Germany to pursue his master’s degree in business management.

The room buzzed with pride and excitement for the family’s golden boy.

You, now seventeen, sat near the end of the table, quiet and composed, your gaze fixed on your untouched plate. You had learned to blend into the background during these family gatherings, where you knew your presence would be an afterthought.

“To Mike!” Uncle William raised his glass for the third toast of the evening “A true inspiration to us all. You’ve always been the pride of the family!”

“Here’s to making us proud in Germany,” Chimed in Aunt Silvia, dabbing her eyes with a napkin “Our boy is destined for greatness.”

Everyone joined in the toast, glasses clinking, voices filled with admiration. Your grip tightened around the fork, your knuckles white as you forced a polite smile.

“And what about you, YN?” Cousin Andrew’s voice cut through the noise like a blade, drawing attention to her “Any plans to follow in your brother’s footsteps? Or is it still fashion magazines and parties for you?”

The table erupted in laughter, the kind that stung more than it amused. Your jaw clenched, but you kept a neutral expression, unwilling to give them the satisfaction of a reaction.

Your mother’s voice cut through the mockery, firm but not forceful.

“That’s enough, Andrew. YN has her own path, and she’s doing well in school.”

“Well, of course she is,” Mike interjected, his tone smooth but laced with condescension “YN has always been… creative.”

More laughter followed, and you felt the familiar sting of their dismissive comments. Years of enduring this treatment had toughened you, but tonight, it felt heavier, like a weight pressing on your chest.

As dessert was served, Grandpa leaned toward you.

“You should be proud of your brother, Little YN. He’s setting the standard for the family. Maybe one day you’ll find your own way to contribute.”

“I am proud.” You said softly, voice steady despite the lump in your throat.

Your father, noticing the tension, tried to lighten the mood.

“Come now, let’s not overshadow YN entirely. She’s done well this year, too.”

“Sure,” Mike quipped, a smirk tugging at his lips “But tonight isn’t about her.”

You pushed your chair back, movements graceful despite the storm brewing inside you.

“If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll get some air.”

The murmurs at the table quieted as you left the room, heels clicking against the polished floor.

Once outside, You inhaled deeply, the cool night air filling her lungs. Your chest heaved as you fought back the tears threatening to spill.

You wouldn’t let them see your break.

Not now. Not ever.

When your parents found you later, sitting on the garden bench, your father held out a small, velvet box.

“We’re sorry, darling,” He said, his voice soft with guilt “We didn’t mean to make you feel left out.”

You opened the box to reveal a delicate diamond bracelet, the stones catching the moonlight.

“It’s beautiful.” You said, slipping it onto your wrist.

But inside, the gesture felt hollow. No gift could fill the void left by years of neglect and overshadowing.

That night, the bracelet glittering on the nightstand, you made a vow: If the world wanted to underestimate you, you would let it. And then, you would show them all just how wrong they were.

✮ ⋆

Present year (Mike’s return)⋆｡

Hours later, you returned home after dinner at Hongjoong’s house, your mood lifted by the warmth and genuine affection of his parents. But the moment you stepped inside your own home, the oppressive atmosphere returned.

Mike confronted you as always, but you didn’t mind, didn’t talk back. But your chest burned with frustration and hurt.

As you reached the top of the stairs, you passed by your parents’ room. Their voices carried through the cracked door.

“Do you think we should talk to her?” Your mother asked, her tone uncertain.

Her father sighed “She’ll be fine. She always is.”

“I don’t know,” She said softly “Maybe we should get her something. You know how sensitive she can be about these things.”

“A trip, perhaps?” Your father suggested “Or maybe one of those designer handbags she likes. It’s not like she doesn’t enjoy it.”

You froze in the hallway, stomach twisting. Of course. This was how it always went. Gifts instead of apologies. Material things to soothe over their lack of understanding or support.

You leaned against the wall, fists clenching.

As a child, you had cried over these moments, hoping for more, longing for genuine care. Now, you knew better.

You have learned to accept it, even take advantage of it.

If they thought they could buy your affection, you would let them.

Your lips curved into a bitter smile. If they wanted to give you a car, a trip, a bag, or whatever else they thought would ease their guilt, so be it. You’d make sure it was worth their while.

But as you slipped into your room and closed the door, the bitterness remained, gnawing at the edges of your heart.

You should be used to this by now.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

The bustling energy of the school hallway feels distant as you walk to your locker. Usually, your heels click with purpose, your presence commanding attention.

But today, something is off. You aren't radiating your usual aura of authority and sharpness. Instead, you move through the crowd quietly, your thoughts heavy.

Your mind has been restless since the night before, replaying old memories you rarely allowed yourself to dwell on. The echoes of the past—your parents’ hollow apologies, Mike’s dismissive words—lingered, intertwining with the warmth you had felt during the date with Hongjoong.

Why now? Why did those memories resurface now, after a day that had been nothing short of… perfect?

As you approach your locker, you feel a presence behind you. Turning, you see Hongjoong standing there, his brows furrows in concern.

“You’ve been quiet.” He says softly.

You tilt your head, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“And that’s unusual?”

“For you? Yeah.” He says, a small smile tugging at his lips.

You smirk faintly but don't respond. Instead, you play with the lock on your locker, your movements uncharacteristically hesitant.

Hongjoong leans against the locker next to yours, studying you.

“Something’s on your mind.”

You hesitate, pride warring with the strange weight pressing on your chest. Finally, you shrug, closing the locker door.

“Don’t flatter yourself. Not everything revolves around you, Joongie.”

Hongjoong chuckles, but his concern doesn't waver “Okay, but if you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me.”

You nod, taking a deep breath, trying to shake off the unease.

“Today I planned a little meeting at my house, bring a swimsuit.”

✮ ⋆

The sun cast golden reflections over the pool as music pulses through the speakers. Laughter and chatter fill the air as you and your friends lounge around, drinks in hand. Mindy, Samantha, Wooyoung, Seonghwa, San, Mingi, and Hongjoong are all there, the atmosphere lighthearted and carefree.

Dann, ever the obedient little pet, carries a tray of drinks, moving carefully to avoid spilling anything. She approaches the group, her expression unreadable as she sets the drinks down on the small poolside table.

"Finally." Seonghwa smirks, picking up his glass.

"Took you long enough, nerd." Mindy snaps.

"What, did you have to mix them by hand?" Wooyoung adds with a chuckle.

Dann clenches her jaw but says nothing. She had learned that silence is often the best defense. But today, something in her burns hotter than usual.

Maybe it is the sight of you and Hoongjoong sitting so close, his hand around your waist, your chemistry undeniable.

Maybe it’s the way you barely acknowledge her, as if she is nothing more than an accessory in your world.

"You should be more grateful," Dann mutters under her breath "Not everyone is willing to put up with your bullshit."

Silence. Then laughter. You arch an eyebrow, standing up and tilting your head as if you hadn't heard correctly.

"Excuse me?"

Dann swallows, but her resolve doesn't waver "I said—"

But before she can finish, you let out a scoff, exchanging a look with Wooyoung. Without warning, you place a hand on Dann’s shoulder and give her a hard shove. Wooyoung, catching on to the moment, joins in, and together you push Dann straight into the pool.

A loud splash echoes through the air.

Laughter erupts from the group as Dann surfaces, coughing and sputtering, her soaked hair plaster to her face. Wooyoung doubled over, wiping tears from his eyes. Even Hongjoong chuckles along with the others.

Dann wipes water from her eyes, her face burning—not just from humiliation but from something deeper. Something sharper.

As the group continues to laugh, none of them notices the figure watching from the mansion’s balcony. Mike stands at a distance, his expression unreadable, his grip tightening around his glass as he observes everything in silence.

The laughter has barely settled when Dann storms away, her soaked clothes clinging to her like a second skin, her face burning with humiliation.

She can still hear their amusement echoing behind her, but she doesn’t turn back. She wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.

Just as the group is about to move on from the incident, a familiar voice interrupts.

“Sweetie,” Your mother’s elegant tone cut through the chatter, drawing everyone’s attention.

“Yes, mommy?”

Your mother looks over the group with an approving nod “I see you’re all having fun,” She says pleasantly “I wanted to extend an invitation to all of you. This Saturday, we’re hosting a celebration for Mike’s accomplishments. It’ll be a grand affair.”

The mention of Mike makes your stomach twist, but you keep your expression unreadable.

Your mother’s gaze then lands directly on Hongjoong “And you, young man, I would love for you to attend.”

Hongjoong blinks, clearly caught off guard. He isn’t sure if that is true or just a polite formality, but he nods nonetheless.

“Uh, thank you, Mrs. Clarke. I’d be honored to come.”

“Wonderful.” She said smoothly, and with that, she excused herself, leaving the group with murmurs of intrigue about the upcoming event.

✮ ⋆

As the night stretches on, one by one, your friends depart, leaving only you and Hongjoong by the pool. The energy has shifted. The teasing, the careless fun—it all faded into something quieter, something heavier in the air between you.

The water is cool against Hongjoong’s skin, a welcome contrast to the heat radiating between you. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you closer, feeling the warmth of your sun-kissed body against his own. You straddle his lap, your fingers threading through his hair as you talk.

“And your friends… what are they like?” You ask, your voice softer now, genuinely curious.

Hongjoong chuckles “A bunch of nerds, really,” He admits “Yunho is always energetic, making jokes and annoying. Yeosang is quiet but he is also a weirdo.” You both laugh, you can see in his eyes how much he appreciates his friends “On the other hand, Jongho is reserved and always listening, sometimes scary, but in general we spend way too much time debating books lore and analyzing sci-fi movies like it’s a science.”

You smirk, tilting your head toward him “That’s kinda cute.”

He raises an eyebrow “Cute? You wouldn’t last five minutes in one of our discussions.”

“Try me, I know much more than just fashion and pop culture gossip.”

And for a while, you simply talk. About things that don't matter, about things that do. And for the first time in a long time, you aren't thinking about your reputation, about expectations, or about proving yourself.

You are just there, with him.

At some point, you drift closer, and Hongjoong notices. The way your eyes soften under the dim lights, the way the water reflects off your skin. The way you look at him—not like he is some nerd trying to reach too high, but like he is just Hongjoong.

Without overthinking, he leans in, brushing a damp strand of hair behind your ear.

“You’re different when it’s just us.” He murmurs.

“And you don’t mind?”

He shakes his head “Not even a little.”

Your lips meet, tentative at first, then deeper. The warmth of the water, the way your bodies press against each other—it’s intoxicating. Your fingers curl around the nape of his neck, pulling him closer.

His hands trace slow, lazy circles on your bare waist, and for that moment, nothing else exists.

"You always talk about your nerdy friends," You murmur as you pull back a little, your breath catching against his lips "But you never really tell me about you."

Hongjoong lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head "And here I thought you didn’t care."

You roll your eyes, but there’s something different now. The barest hint of a smirk touches your lips.

"Maybe I do."

His breath hitches at the sound of your voice, and you feel the faint tremor in his hands as they hover on your waist. There’s hesitation, a slight uncertainty, as if he’s not sure how far to go or whether he’s doing it right. You like it. It’s endearing.

You know exactly what’s on his mind, that quiet nervousness, and it only makes you want him more.

You reach out, tracing your fingertips slowly down his arm beneath the water, deliberate and teasing. He shivers slightly under your touch, his pulse hammering.

When your hand drifts to his chest, you linger there, pressing your palm flat against his skin, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart beneath your fingers.

“Let's go shopping tomorrow after school. You need a suit, and you have to impress my mother.”

“Only your mother?” He teases, making you scoff.

“Think what you want, but you need something that screams ‘I belong to YN Clarke’.”

Hongjoong laughs but nods “All right then, pretty.”

"You’re warm," You note absently, your breath shaky as you let your touch wander.

Hongjoong exhales sharply, his hand lifting, skimming over the curve of your waist. His fingertips brush over your bare skin, and you can feel his uncertainty, the way he pulls back just a fraction when you press closer.

His breath is uneven, like he’s trying to keep up with the rhythm of your touch, trying to suppress the nerves coiling in his gut. He swallows hard.

"YN—"

You cut him off before he can say more, leaning in to kiss him again, your lips meeting his with an urgency that both surprises and excites him.

The kiss is slow at first, teasing, but as Hongjoong slides his hand to the small of your back and pulls you closer, something inside both of you snaps.

The moment his grip tightens, pulling you flush against him, you gasp softly, feeling the heat between you intensify. Hongjoong's kiss becomes deeper, rougher, his hands gripping you like he’s been starving for you, his touch becoming bolder, more eager.

His muscles tense beneath your hands, the slight tremor in his touch betraying his inexperience, but you don’t mind. If anything, you find it charming, knowing you’re the one who can pull this reaction from him.

The water around you suddenly feels too cool compared to the heat of his body against yours. Your arms wrap around his neck, fingers threading through his damp hair as he presses you against the edge of the pool.

He kisses along your jaw, over the damp skin of your throat, sucking lightly before flicking his tongue over the spot to soothe the sting. You shudder at the sensation, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist beneath the water.

"Joong—" You breathe, your voice barely above a whisper, lost in the warmth of the moment.

But he swallows the rest of your words with another kiss, drowning you both in the heat of it, in the desperation, the raw hunger that feels so real and unrestrained.

His hands roam lower now, gripping your thighs beneath the water, and you arch into him. You can feel his self-control hanging by a thread, the way he stifles every urge to push harder, faster, the way he almost overthinks each move. It’s a mix of hesitance and hunger.

He wants you so badly, but he’s not sure if he’s doing it right. But the more you respond, the more he realizes that’s not what matters. It’s the way you want him that matters.

You guide him without saying a word—your body melting against him, soft sighs escaping your lips as he becomes more confident with each touch. His kisses deepen, and the passion between you escalates.

There’s nothing awkward about this anymore. The hesitation fades, and what’s left is raw, real, and completely right.

"God, you drive me crazy," He murmurs against your lips, voice hoarse with the effort of holding back.

You smirk, brushing your fingers along his jaw "I know, nerd."

Hongjoong groans, his grip tightening as he nips at your lower lip in retaliation. You laugh, but it quickly fades into a soft sigh when he dips his head, kissing along the curve of your shoulder, his lips gentle but insistent.

For a moment, you can feel him stiffen slightly, unsure whether he’s moving too fast, and then you pull him closer, urging him to follow your lead. His hands move with more certainty now, exploring with a quiet passion, and the way his body reacts to yours is nothing short of electrifying.

The beauty of it is not just in the physicality—the way his hands and lips touch you—but in the way he’s learning.

Hongjoong is not perfect, and he’s not experienced, but he’s here.

He’s with you, and the more he responds to you, the more he learns what you need, the more you find yourself consumed by him.

It’s the way he forgets his nervousness, the way he becomes sure of himself because of you.

And you know, deep down, that this isn’t just about the touch, the heat, the kissing. It’s about the way he’s learning to be confident in himself. Because of you.

And that, in the end, makes all the difference.

For once, you let yourself get lost in it. In the way Hongjoong touches you, the way he wants you, the way he holds you like you’re something precious.

It 's intoxicating.

And yet, hidden in the shadows, Dann stands frozen, her chest tightening, her fingers clenched into fists as she watches the scene unfold.

Dann hadn’t meant to stay. She hadn’t meant to see.

But there she is, standing by the edge of the terrace, her heart sinking lower and lower.

It wasn’t just a kiss. It wasn’t just some game you were playing.

This is real.

She has told herself she doesn't care. That it doesn’t matter. But the painful sting in her heart tells her otherwise.

And it hurt.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

The next day, you and Hongjoong find yourselves strolling through an upscale shopping mall. The polished marble floors gleam under the soft glow of designer store lights.

As usual, your style is impeccable—heels clicking in rhythm, and your hair flowing with the air. Beside you, Hongjoong is a stark contrast, casual yet charming in his plain sweater and jeans.

You lead him into one of the most exclusive stores, where racks of tailored suits and elegant ensembles line the walls.

The sales assistants greet you with knowing smiles, instantly recognizing your status.

“Do you even know my size?” He teases, watching you confidently pull out a dark navy suit with subtle pinstripes.

You smirk, holding the suit up to him “I don’t need to know your size. I have an eye for perfection.”

He shakes his head, chuckling as he takes the suit from your hands “You know I don’t need something this expensive, right? I can just wear the stuff I have at home.”

“Not if you’re going to a party as my date.” You say firmly, your tone leaving no room for argument.

Hongjoong smiles softly but doesn’t press further. He disappears into the fitting room, and while he’s gone, you wander the store, your gaze drifting over the luxurious displays.

The weight in your chest hasn’t eased since yesterday. If anything, it feels heavier under the bright lights and polished surfaces.

It’s not about the suit. It’s not about the party. Shopping, spending, indulging—it’s the only thing that ever distracted you from the hollow ache inside. It always has been.

“YN?” Hongjoong’s voice pulls you from your thoughts.

You turn, and for a moment, your breath catches. The suit fits him perfectly, accentuating his broad shoulders and lean frame.

He looks… confident. Polished.

Yours.

“What do you think?” He asks, doing a half spin for effect.

You step closer, your fingers brushing over the lapel of the jacket “You look…” You pause, searching for the right word, then smirk “Like someone who belongs to me.”

He laughs, shaking his head, but there’s a hint of pink in his cheeks “I should’ve known you’d say that.”

After the purchase is made—your card, of course—you both leave the store. You’re holding onto a medium-sized bag containing some clothes as Hongjoong holds a bag with his new suit that costs more than some people make in a month.

As you walk through the mall, Hongjoong’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He glances at the screen, and a small smile spreads across his face.

“What is it?” You ask, curious.

“It’s Jongho, Yeosang, and Yunho,” He says, showing you the message “They’re asking if I want to hit the arcade with them tonight. It’s been ages since we’ve hung out.”

You notice the way his eyes light up at the mention of his friends, and for a moment, your heart clenches.

You nod, keeping your expression neutral.

“You should go.”

He hesitates, slipping his phone back into his pocket “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“I’ll be fine,” You say with a small smile “Go have fun with them. You deserve it.”

“Are you sure?” He asks, studying your face.

“Yeah,” You reply, tilting your head slightly “I’ll just go home and relax. Maybe binge some show or something.”

Hongjoong doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t push.

“Okay, but only if you promise me something.”

“What?”

“That you’ll call me if you need anything.”

You roll your eyes, your lips curving into a smirk “Relax, Joong. I’m not helpless.”

“I know you’re not,” He says softly “But I care about you, pretty. A lot.”

The sincerity in his voice makes your chest tighten. You can’t help but wonder if it’s only a matter of time before those words—his care, his affection—turn into something else.

Something colder.

He leans down and kisses your forehead, his hand briefly brushing yours.

“I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Okay,” You whisper, watching him walk away.

You clutch the bag in your hand, the weight of the expensive items nothing compared to the familiar emptiness settling in your chest.

✮ ⋆

The arcade was alive with the sound of laughter, the ping of game machines, and the occasional cheer of someone winning.

Hongjoong walked in, spotting the boys huddled near the air hockey table.

“Hongjoong!” Yunho calls, waving him over.

“About time you showed up,” Yeosang teases “We thought YN had you on a leash or something.”

Hongjoong rolls his eyes, grinning “Very funny.”

Jongho smirks “For a moment we thought you'd say no, since you've only spent time with her.”

“I also have a life apart from being with her and she also needs her space, so she let me come.”

“She let you come? I didn't know you had to ask permission to go out with your friends.” Yunho snorts mockingly.

“We’re kind of a thing now.” Hongjoong murmurs shyly.

The boys look confused at each other before looking at him.

“What do you mean with that, Joong?”

He hesitates before shrugging, a small smile tugging at his lips “We had a date.”

Yunho drops the joystick he was holding “A date?!

“Wait, wait,” Yeosang says, laughing “YN Clarke? Like, the queen bee had a date with you?”

“The same one.” Hongjoong replies, scratching the back of his neck.

Yeosang and Yunho exchange a look before breaking into wide grins.

Jongho let out a low whistle “I thought you were joking about liking her. She actually went out with you?”

“Yeah,” Hongjoong says, his smile growing “It was amazing. I took her to the amusement park. She even let me win her a prize—a stuffed bunny.”

Yunho grinns “Aww, how romantic. Joongie the Casanova.”

“More like Hongjoong the miracle nerd,” Jongho adds “Seriously, dude. YN Clarke? That’s insane.”

Yunho’s grin widens “Dude, you’re living the dream. A date with the queen bee of the school? You’re officially a legend.”

Hongjoong chuckles, his face reddening slightly. Before he could respond, a familiar voice interrupted.

“Joong?”

He turns to see Dann standing a few feet away, clutching a soda.

“Dann?” He says, confused “What are you doing here?”

“Yunho texted me,” Dann says, glancing at the boys “Thought it’d be nice to hang out.”

Hongjoong stiffs slightly “Oh... Uh, cool.”

Dann steps closer, her gaze lingering on him “It’s been a while. You’ve been… busy.”

He scratches the back of his neck, glancing at his friends for support “Yeah, I guess I have.”

Dann smiles, though it doesn't quite reach her eyes “With YN, right?”

“Yeah,” He answers, his tone cautious.

Yeosang, sensing the tension, jumps in “Hey, let’s hit the games. Air hockey, anyone?”

“Sure,” Dann says quickly, stepping closer to Hongjoong “We can team up.”

Hongjoong hesitates. He knows you don’t like Dann being around him—and he can't blame you. Dann’s feelings for him are obvious, you told him from the beginning and he can already confirm it.

He doesn’t want to hurt Dann, but he also doesn’t want to disrespect you.

“Actually,” He starts, his tone gentle but firm “Why don’t you play with Jongho? He’s unbeatable.”

Dann’s smile falters “Oh. Right. Sure.”

Yunho raises an eyebrow at Hongjoong, but doesn’t comment. They are all aware of the feelings of both, Dann in love with Hongjoong and Hongjoong with you, they just hope that things don't get awkward in the future.

As they move toward the air hockey table, Dann hangs back, watching Hongjoong laugh and joke with the others.

Her chest tightness. Hongjoong was pushing her away—kindly, yes, but it was still rejection. And she knows why.

It 's not fair. She had been there for him when no one else was. She had defended him when people mocked him for being a nerd. And now, he was choosing you. Again.

Her phone buzzes, breaking her thoughts. She pulls it out to see a message from Mike:

Mike C: Stay focused. Remember our deal.

Dann clenches her jaw, her fingers tightening around the phone.

If Hongjoong wants to choose you, fine. But you don’t deserve him. And Dann is going to make sure he sees that—no matter what it takes.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

The cafeteria is alive with its usual energy, but the corner table claimed by you and your entourage buzzes with a more refined excitement. The topic of the day? Saturday’s celebration for Mike at the Ritz.

“So,” Mindy begins, twirling a strand of her perfectly styled hair “Who’s already stressing about their outfit? Because I may or may not have gone a little overboard at Valentino yesterday.”

“Only yesterday?” Wooyoung teases, smirking “Some of us have been planning for days. I’m bringing the tux my dad wore to that gala in Monaco. He swears it’s vintage gold now.”

You scoff, taking a delicate sip of your iced coffee “Monaco tux or not, just don’t embarrass me, Woo.”

“Moi? Embarrass you? Never, babydoll.” He grins, leaning back in his chair.

Mindy sighs dramatically, resting her chin in her palm “I still think about the last party. The lighting, the flowers, the champagne towers. Do you think they’ll top it this time?”

“They’d better,” You reply nonchalantly, though your gaze flickered briefly “My parents love to ‘impress.’ It’s practically their brand.”

“And what time should we grace them with our presence?” Another of your friends, Samantha, asks, pulling out her phone.

“Seven-thirty, at the Ritz. And be punctual. This isn’t one of those parties you can show up fashionably late to.”

“Noted,” Wooyoung says, tapping the time into his calendar “And little Hongjoong? Are you ready to make your grand debut into the Clarke world of extravagance?”

Hongjoong, who has been quietly observing the banter, chuckles softly “I think I’ll survive. YN’s already dragged me through the whole shopping process.”

“Oh, please,” You cut in, smirking “Dragged? You should be thanking me, Joong.”

He raises his hands in surrender, laughing “All right, all right. I owe you one.”

“Just one?” Wooyoung teases again, winking.

Mindy’s eyes lit up as she leaned forward “Wait, what did you go with? Armani? Tom Ford?”

“Tom Ford, It suits him. And trust me, he’ll be turning heads Saturday night.”

“Can’t wait to see it.” Woo says, smirking at him.

“So, how many bottles of champagne do you think your parents are bringing out this time? Ten? Twenty?”

You snort, leaning back in the chair with an air of practiced nonchalance “If it’s less than twenty, I’ll personally tell the caterers to triple the order.”

Wooyoung laughs “Forget the champagne. I’m more interested in how many pastries they’ll have. Last party, I swear I had a religious experience with those chocolate eclairs.”

“Oh, the eclairs,” Sam sighs dreamily “I’ve been thinking about them since then. And don’t even get me started on the tiramisu.”

Hongjoong chuckles, glancing at you “So, is this a party or a dessert buffet?”

“It’s both. A Clarke family event is always an experience. You’ll see.”

“Damn right,” Woo said, raising his water bottle like it was a champagne glass “To YN Clarke and her family's amazing parties!”

The group laughs, the easy camaraderie filling the space. Hongjoong looks at you, a soft smile playing on his lips. You caughting his gaze and, for a brief moment, your confident exterior softened.

The party was just days away, and for now, everything seemed perfect.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

The air in the Clarke mansion was a flurry of activity, with staff bustling through the grand halls, preparing for the evening’s event. The clinking of silverware and the faint aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the dining room, where the family had gathered for breakfast.

You sit at the table, scrolling through your phone, your polished nails tapping lightly against the screen. Across from you, Mike is casually flipping through the day’s paper, looking as composed as ever. Your father is already grumbling about last-minute details while your mother sips her tea, the picture of elegance amidst the chaos.

“Dann, can you help me with this?” Dann’s mother’s voice echoes softly from the kitchen.

Dann, trying to stay invisible, hesitates before hurrying to her mother’s side. Together, they carefully carry trays of food into the dining room.

Your father raises an eyebrow, glancing at Dann as she places a platter of fruit on the table.

“Quite the multi-tasker, aren’t you?” He remarks, his tone hovering between sarcasm and indifference.

Dann stiffens slightly, her cheeks coloring “Just helping my mom, sir.” She says quietly.

Before anyone can say more, your mother sets her cup down with a delicate clink.

“You know, I’ve been watching how hard you work around here, Dann,” She says warmly “Always helping your mother, always polite. I think it’s only fair that we extend an invitation to you for tonight’s party.”

The room falls silent. your head snaps up, eyes narrowing slightly, while Mike’s smirk barely conceals his amusement.

“Mom,” You begin, voice sharp “I don’t think—”

“Nonsense, sweetie,” She interrupts smoothly “It’s about time we show a little appreciation. Don’t you think so?”

Dann blinks, surprise evident on her face “Oh, Mrs. Clarke, that’s… I mean, thank you, but—”

“Of course,” Your father interjects, his tone dry “Just make sure you’re aware of the dress code. It’s black tie, not… casual.” His eyes flick briefly over Dann’s simple attire, and the implication hangs heavy in the air.

Your mother’s jaw tightens, and shoots her husband a pointed look “Which is why, sweetheart, you’ll be lending her something appropriate to wear. I’m sure you have plenty of dresses that would look lovely on her.”

Your lips curve into a slow, calculated smile “Of course, Mommy.”

After breakfast, you guide Dann into your walk-in closet with a sweeping gesture, the dazzling array of dresses catching her wide-eyed attention.

She's already entered the closet next to your room, but this one is much bigger. Her fingers trail hesitantly over the delicate fabrics, her expression a mix of awe and discomfort.

She’s never been surrounded by such luxury, let alone been invited to wear it. The second-hand clothes she normally wears couldn’t be further from this.

“You’ve got so many.” She murmurs, her voice tinged with wonder.

You smile, tilting your head “I know, it’s almost a problem, right? Too many choices. But don’t worry—I’ll help you find something that’s just right for tonight.”

Dann nods quickly, her unease flickering across her face. She’s not used to this kind of kindness from you, and it’s unsettling.

But as much as she doesn’t trust it, she can’t exactly refuse either.

You reach into one of the last racks, where the clothes you no longer wear are stored, you pull out a shimmering emerald gown with a slit up the side.

“Here’s a favorite of mine. It’s gorgeous on, trust me. And it’ll definitely help you stand out.”

Dann takes the dress with both hands, handling it as though it might dissolve in her grip “It’s beautiful,” She says, her tone genuine “I’ve never worn anything like this before.”

You smile, masking your amusement “Well, there’s a first time for everything.”

Moving through the racks, you select another gown, this one a deep crimson with delicate lace detailing.

“Or maybe this one? It’s a classic. Wore it to a charity auction, and let me tell you—it turned heads.”

Dann stares at the dress, wide-eyed “Wow. It 's amazing.”

She’s completely oblivious to the fact that these dresses, as stunning as they are, are from last year’s collections—now outdated by anyone with even a passing knowledge of fashion.

To Dann, they’re the height of elegance.

You pull a lavender gown from the back of the rack, its soft beading catching the light.

“This one’s a little more subtle,” You say, handing it over “It’s sweet and sophisticated. I think it’s perfect for you. You can keep it, take it as a gift.”

Dann nods enthusiastically, her unease momentarily forgotten as she clutches the gown to her chest.

“Thank you, YN. This is… this is so kind of you.”

You wave off her gratitude with a bright smile “Of course. It’s my pleasure. Go try it on, let’s see how it looks.”

She disappears into the dressing room, and you lean against the doorway with a smug tilt to your lips.

The plan is unfolding perfectly. These dresses, while stunning in their time, are no longer the kind that command admiration—they invite quiet judgment.

But Dann doesn’t know that, and that’s exactly the point.

When she steps out in the lavender gown, her face lights up “It fits perfectly,” She says, her voice tinged with shy excitement.

You study her for a long moment, your smile never faltering.

“It looks wonderful on you, just wait until you see everyone’s reaction tonight.”

Dann beams, completely unaware of the double meaning behind your words.

“I can’t thank you enough, YN.”

You wave her off again “No need to thank me. I’m just glad you’ll have something to wear.”

Inside, you’re already picturing the whispers and raised eyebrows at the party. Tonight will be a night she’ll never forget—for all the wrong reasons.

As Dann leaves the room clutching the dress, you lean against the doorway, arms crossed. Your mother’s unexpected invitation throws you off, but if Dann is going to attend, you will make sure it’s on your terms.

✮ ⋆

Dann holds the lavender dress against herself, staring at the delicate fabric in awe. She hurries to the kitchen, where her mother is wiping down the counters.

“Mom, look at this,” Dann says, holding the gown up for her mother to see “It’s beautiful, but I don’t have the right shoes or makeup to match it.”

Her mother glances at the dress, her expression softening with a mix of pride and concern.

“It’s lovely, sweetheart, but you’re right. You need to look your best if you’re going to that party.”

Dann frowns “But… I don’t have anything like that.”

Her mother thinks for a moment, before leaving the kitchen she smiles at her “Why don’t you go shopping? Find a nice pair of shoes and maybe some makeup. You deserve to feel special tonight.”

As Dann mulls over the idea, Mike enters the room, his usual air of confidence trailing behind him. Overhearing their conversation, he leans casually against the doorframe.

“Shopping for the party, Dann?” He asks, his tone dripping with feigned interest.

Dann straightens, clutching the dress tighter “I don’t have shoes or makeup, so I thought—”

“Perfect.” Mike pulls out his wallet, flipping through the neatly arranged bills and credit cards. He holds out a black credit card “Here. Get yourself something nice. Consider it a little thank-you for… being cooperative.”

Dann hesitates but eventually takes the card, murmuring a quiet “Thanks.”

Mike’s smirk widens “While you’re at it, I’ve been thinking. Wouldn’t it be amusing if Hongjoong accidentally ended up at the wrong address tonight?”

Dann’s brows furrow “What do you mean?”

“Oh, you know.” His tone is casual, but his eyes gleam with mischief “If YN’s little nerd showed up at the wrong place, it’d be quite the embarrassment. Don’t you think?”

Dann bites her lip “How would we even do that?”

Mike’s smirk sharpens “Simple. We just need YN’s phone. Once you’re back, we’ll figure out the details.”

Dann nods slowly, the plan settling uneasily in her mind. She doesn’t like deceiving Hongjoong, but the thought of disrupting YN’s perfect evening is too tempting to resist.

Later, at the shopping mall, Dann wanders through the perfume section, marveling at the elegant bottles and their enticing scents. She is about to make her selection when a familiar voice catches her attention.

Turning, she sees Hongjoong standing a few feet away, examining a cologne bottle. His brows furrowed in concentration as he sprayed a tester onto a card.

“Joong?” Dann calls, her voice carrying a hint of surprise.

He looks up, a smile breaking across his face “Dann? What are you doing here?”

“Just… shopping,” She says, holding up a small bag “You?”

“Same,” He says with a laugh “YN told me I needed to step up my game for tonight, so here I am.”

Dann’s mind races. This is her chance to plant the seed of doubt. She steps closer, lowering her voice conspiratorially.

“By the way, did YN tell you about the venue change?”

Hongjoong blinks “Venue change? What are you talking about?”

“Oh,” Dann says, feigning surprise “I thought she’d have mentioned it. YN’s mother invited me to the celebration because I’ve been working for YN, so she told me earlier that Mike decided to move the party to that new place downtown, I'll send you the address, but she said something about Mike wanting a more modern vibe.”

Hongjoong frowns, confusion flickering across his face “Why didn’t YN tell me?”

Dann shrugs “She’s probably just busy with everything. You know how these rich people's events are—chaotic.”

He nods slowly, though uncertainty lingers in his expression “Yeah… maybe.”

Dann smiles sweetly, placing a hand on his arm “Don’t worry. Just show up at. You’ll be fine.”

As Dann walks away, a pang of guilt surfaces. But it’s quickly overshadowed by the thrill of watching the plan unfold.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

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koyagifs · 3 months ago

Text

𝓲𝓯 𝓼𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝔂𝓼

pairing: hongjoong x reader au: college | in between worlds | genre: angst word count: 12.861k synopsis: no one seen it coming. how could they? the lead singer of up and coming band and the shy celloist. warning(s): mentions of death, hospital. author note: another favorite book, if i stay!! will be heavily basing it on it. When they release the seasons greeting, i just had to.

september 25th, 2021 12:15pm

Hongjoong stood in the doorway, frozen as if time itself had stopped. The dim light of the studio cast a warm glow over the young woman seated at the center of the room, her form almost ethereal. Her head tilted slightly, eyes closed in concentration, and her fingers danced delicately along the neck of the cello.

The bow in her hand moved with such grace that it seemed to breathe life into the instrument. The muffled strains of music seeped through the heavy door, a melody both haunting and beautiful. The cello nestled between her legs seemed an extension of herself, responding to her every touch as though it shared her soul.

Hongjoong felt his breath catch, the world outside fading into irrelevance. There was a power in her presence, one that silenced the chaos of his thoughts and left him wholly captivated. For a moment, he wondered if she had somehow charmed the room—or perhaps just him.

He came out from the trance when someone came beside him, " what's her name?"

Hongjoong turned his head sharply at the sound of her voice. A girl stood beside him now, her expression soft but curious as she glanced between him and the young cellist in the studio. Her smile grew as she returned her gaze to the girl playing, an unmistakable fondness shining in her eyes.

“Yn,” she said simply, her voice carrying a warmth that matched her expression.

Hongjoong nodded slightly, the name embedding itself in his mind like a melody he couldn’t forget. Without another word, he stepped away, feeling the pull of the moment lingering even as he distanced himself from the studio.

Yn. He repeated the name in his head, savoring how it sounded—soft, yet powerful, much like the music she played. It felt like the kind of name you’d whisper into the quiet of a night, afraid to disturb its beauty.

As he walked down the corridor, the faint echo of her cello followed him, weaving into his thoughts. He knew he’d be back, though he couldn’t quite say why. Something about Yn and the world she created with her music had already begun to anchor itself deeply in him, like a seed of inspiration waiting to grow.

He smiled faintly to himself. Whatever it was, he couldn’t wait to discover more.

Back in the room, Yn paused mid-stroke as the last note faded into silence. She looked up to see her best friend Maddie leaning against the doorframe, a wide grin plastered on her face. The mischievous glint in her eyes was unmistakable.

“What’s that look on your face for?” Yn asked, raising an eyebrow as she adjusted the bow in her hand.

Maddie shook her head, her grin widening as she stepped closer. “Oh, nothing,” she teased, her voice sing-song. “It’s just... someone has a secret admirer~.”

Yn blinked, her brows knitting together in confusion. “What are you talking about?” she asked, setting her bow down on the cello.

Maddie plopped down on a nearby chair, crossing her legs as if preparing to spill the juiciest gossip. “There was this guy—he couldn’t take his eyes off you,” she explained, dramatically clasping her hands to her chest. “It was like watching a puppy stare at a treat.”

Yn frowned slightly, tilting her head. “A guy? Who?”

Maddie shrugged her shoulder nonchalantly, though the grin on her face betrayed her excitement. “Oh, you know—only the Kim Hongjoong was looking at you.”

Yn froze, her hands stilling on the cello as her eyes widened. “ you're telling me hongjoong saw my geeking out on the cello" she asked, her voice rising slightly as the words tumbled out.

Maddie burst out laughing, clutching her sides. “Oh, definitely,” she managed between giggles. “He was standing there, all wide-eyed and awestruck, like he’d just stumbled upon a hidden gem.”

Yn groaned, covering her face with both hands. “Oh my god, Maddie,” she mumbled through her fingers. “He probably thinks I’m some weirdo.”

“Are you kidding?” Maddie shot back, her laughter subsiding as she gave Yn a playful nudge on the arm. “He looked like he wanted to commission a whole symphony inspired by you. Trust me, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Yn peeked at her best friend from behind her hands, still unconvinced. “You’re exaggerating,” she accused, though a small part of her wanted to believe Maddie’s words.

Yn groaned, burying her face in her hands as Maddie laughed and tugged her up by the wrist.

“Come on, rock star whisperer,” Maddie teased, dragging Yn toward the door. “Let’s get out of here before your new admirer decides to camp outside the classroom.”

Yn rolled her eyes but let herself be pulled along, her thoughts still swirling. Kim Hongjoong—the name alone sent a flicker of disbelief through her. He wasn’t just anyone; he was the lead guitarist of 8teez, the up-and-coming band that had been the talk of their small town.

Their music was raw and electric, a blend of emotion and energy that had quickly captured the hearts of their growing fan base. The group had been making waves in the local scene for months, playing at festivals, gigs, and even the town’s annual summer fair. And now, with a record label finally backing them, 8teez was on the cusp of something bigger.

feburary 19th, 2023 11:15am

Yn sat quietly in the backseat of the Uber, her gaze fixed on the snowflakes drifting lazily down outside the window. The world beyond the glass was coated in a pristine white blanket, the streetlights casting a warm glow over the soft snowfall. It felt like something out of a dream, the kind of moment that felt both fleeting and infinite all at once.

Yn’s phone sat in her lap, her thumb instinctively tapping the screen to turn it on. The soft glow illuminated the emptiness of her notifications, and her heart clenched just a little tighter. She locked the screen, exhaled slowly, then repeated the cycle moments later, as though willing a message to appear from him.

Nothing.

Her heart ached each time the blank notification bar stared back at her, unyielding. It felt silly, almost foolish, to let it affect her this much. But still, she couldn’t shake the weight in her chest, the unanswered questions circling her mind like an unrelenting storm.

A storm had struck, leaving a devastating aftermath in its wake. The once calm streets were now a blur of swirling snow and ice, the world outside distorted and harsh. The wind howled, a fierce reminder of the storm’s power, and the snow fell in thick, heavy sheets that seemed to blur the line between day and night.

Inside the Uber, Yn's body jerked forward with a sharp impact, the car sliding uncontrollably across the slick road. Her breath caught in her throat as her seatbelt dug into her chest, the force of the motion throwing her against the back of the seat. Panic surged through her as she gripped the armrest, her heart pounding in her ears.

The sound of tires screeching against the ice was drowned out by the screeching of her own thoughts, a chaotic cacophony in her mind. The world outside had blurred into a whirl of white, the wind slamming against the car, but all she could focus on was the feeling of helplessness, of being entirely out of control. The cold metal of the seat dug into her back, her grip failing on the armrest as the car spun, and she felt the sharp jolt of panic in her chest.

This can’t be happening. Not now... not like this.

Her heart pounded in her ears, the terror crashing over her in waves as the car slid further, the sense of time slowing down, twisting, until it became a blur of sensations. The last thing she saw was the back seat, the familiar black leather seat cover before darkness closed in on her like a heavy blanket.

And then, everything went silent.

october 19th, 2021 1:06 pm

Hongjoong walked towards the two girls who were laughing, their voices carrying through the quiet space as they shared a moment. His heart was pounding in his chest, the familiar rush of adrenaline hitting him in a way it never had before. He'd been with girls before—spent time talking, laughing, even flirting—but this? This was different.

As he neared them, a wave of nervous energy surged through him, making him second-guess every step he took. He adjusted his jacket for the hundredth time, running a hand through his hair, feeling the weight of the situation settle on his shoulders. Why is this so hard? he thought, swallowing the lump in his throat. It's just a conversation. Just a hello.

But with every step closer to Yn, the closer he got to unraveling. He had never been this nervous before. His mind raced with questions, with thoughts that felt like a whirlpool. What if she doesn’t like me? What if I say something stupid? What if...

His gaze was fixed on her, her laughter drifting toward him like a melody he couldn't escape. She was so effortlessly beautiful, so calm, so magnetic, and all of a sudden, he felt like a clumsy fool trying to approach someone out of his league.

Just breathe, he told himself, shaking his head as if he could clear the swirling thoughts. He was Kim Hongjoong. Confident. Charismatic. The guy who led his band with ease. And yet, here he was, fighting the urge to turn around and run.

Still, his feet carried him closer, one step after another, until he was just a few feet away from the two girls. Maddie was the first to notice him, her grin widening when she saw him approach.

“You’ve got guts,” she teased with a knowing look, but Hongjoong barely registered the words. His focus was entirely on Yn, who turned toward him, her expression unreadable but not unkind.

He stopped in front of them, his heart racing, and he opened his mouth to say something—anything—but for a moment, the words wouldn’t come. It was like his voice had abandoned him.

Pull it together, Hongjoong.

“Hey,” he finally managed, his voice a little rougher than he intended. “I… I just wanted to say hi.”

Yn raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by his sudden nervousness. “Hi,” she said softly, her smile gentle

Maddie left with a playful smile on her face, her hand giving Yn a quick pat on the back that Yn barely registered. As she walked away, her grin widening, Yn couldn’t help but roll her eyes. She knew what was coming, but she had little time to process it as Hongjoong stood there in front of her, a small, nervous smile playing on his lips.

"I'm Hongjoong," he said, his voice carrying a certain warmth as he spoke, like he was trying to sound casual, but the slight tension in his posture betrayed the nerves he was trying to hide.

Yn blinked, her mind briefly catching up with the moment. “I know," she said automatically, her words coming out quicker than she intended. She cleared her throat, embarrassed. "I mean—sorry, I’m Yn.”

The exchange felt awkward, but in a way, it also felt... real. Hongjoong wasn’t some unreachable figure anymore—he was just a guy standing there in front of her, offering a friendly smile. But the weight of his presence, the nervous energy still lingering between them, made it hard to find her balance.

Hongjoong couldn't help but chuckle at the nervous girl standing in front of him. His smile was easy, but there was a certain softness in his gaze that made him look even more approachable than before. "I uh, saw you play," he said, his voice light, but his words carrying a sense of sincerity.

The moment the words left his lips, Yn’s face flushed with a deep blush, her cheeks warming instantly. She tried to hide the heat rising in her face by looking down, but it was no use—the flush was very evident. Her heart skipped a beat, thudding hard against her chest as she fumbled for something to say.

"I—I didn’t know you were there," she stammered, her voice almost a whisper. Get it together, she told herself, but it was hard when he was standing so close, smiling at her in a way that made everything feel a little too real.

Hongjoong’s chuckle softened into a small, knowing smile. "I guess that’s a good thing, right? You’re so focused when you play," he said, his eyes warm with admiration. "It’s impressive."

Yn could feel the heat in her cheeks spreading, her heartbeat still erratic. The compliment felt like it was both a gift and a challenge, and she didn’t know how to handle it. Why is he making me feel like this? she thought, her thoughts spiraling just a little.

She cleared her throat and shrugged slightly, trying to regain her composure. "It’s just... something I do, you know?" she said, trying to downplay it. "I don’t really think about it too much."

Hongjoong tilted his head, his expression thoughtful. "Well, it definitely stands out," he said, his voice quiet but sincere. "Not everyone can make something like that look so effortless. You’ve got a gift."

The warmth of his words made her heart race again, and she had to look away for a moment, trying to steady her breath. "Thanks," she said softly, a little embarrassed by the intensity of her own reaction.

There was a brief, comfortable silence between them, the kind that didn’t feel forced. It was like they were both caught in the same quiet bubble, the nervous energy now mingling with a budding sense of ease.

Hongjoong’s words stumbled out in a rush, the nervousness creeping back into his voice as he looked at Yn. He had been thinking about asking her for days, but now that the moment was here, it felt harder than he anticipated. “I, uh, have these tickets to Yo-Yo Ma’s concert,” he started, his words a little more hurried than he intended. “I was wondering if maybe you’d... go with me? I mean—you don’t have to, but—”

He cut himself off, feeling the familiar weight of uncertainty pressing down on him. His eyes darted to the ground for a brief moment, trying to shake off the sense of awkwardness, but the words had already left his mouth, and now it was too late to take them back.

Yn’s heart skipped another beat, the unexpected question hanging in the air like a soft challenge. She hadn’t expected him to ask her out like this—certainly not for something as intimate as a concert. Her breath hitched slightly, and she struggled to find her voice.

"I'll love to," Yn said, smiling brightly, the warmth spreading through her chest as she met Hongjoong's gaze. The fluttering in her stomach felt like a small, hopeful spark—like something new was just beginning to take root.

Hongjoong's eyes lit up at her response, a wide grin spreading across his face. He had been nervous, unsure of how she would respond, but hearing her say yes made everything feel a little lighter. "Really?" he asked again, almost disbelieving, though his tone was filled with happiness.

Yn nodded, the smile never leaving her face. "Yeah. I’d really like to go with you."

The relief that washed over Hongjoong was palpable, and for a moment, he seemed to forget about his nerves entirely. "Awesome," he said with a grin, his eyes soft with gratitude. "I’ll send you the details soon. It’s going to be great."

feburary 19th, 2023 11:54am

Yn’s head throbbed, the sharp ringing in her ears growing louder as she blinked rapidly, trying to clear her blurry vision. The cold air around her felt foreign, like she wasn’t quite connected to the world around her. She pushed herself up from the ground, her limbs unsteady as she took in the chaotic scene unfolding before her.

The first thing she noticed was the crunch of snow under running feet, the hurried movement of paramedics and bystanders rushing past her. The flashing lights of an ambulance painted the snow a harsh, pulsing red and blue. A sense of panic slowly began to settle in her chest as she realized that something had gone horribly wrong.

Panic surged through Yn’s body, the overwhelming rush of confusion and fear clouding her mind as she stumbled forward, her legs weak. Desperate to make sense of what was happening, she ran toward an EMT, her heart hammering in her chest, trying to find someone who could help.

"Excuse me!" she tried to call out, her voice a strangled whisper, but it was caught in her throat as she reached the EMT. She reached out instinctively, but when her hand passed through his arm—when she felt the cold air instead of solid flesh—her breath hitched, and her world tilted violently.

Her heart skipped a beat as she froze, staring at her hand, now hovering through the EMT's arm, utterly confused. The chaos around her continued, the flashing lights of the ambulance blurring in her peripheral vision, but everything felt... off, like a dream slipping further away from her grasp.

She blinked, looking around frantically, trying to process what had just happened. Was she hallucinating? Was this some kind of fog settling over her mind? No—she could still feel the snow crunching beneath her feet, the cold air biting at her skin. Yet there was a feeling of separation, like she wasn’t fully tethered to the world around her.

She tried again, moving toward the EMT with renewed urgency. "Help me, please!" she tried to shout, but her voice failed her, the words coming out as an echo, distant and hollow. She reached out again, her hand passing straight through the EMT’s body as if he wasn’t even there. Panic tightened in her chest, and she stepped back, her heart racing.

What’s happening to me?

The sensation of fear and confusion flooded her as she tried to make sense of the growing disconnect between her body and the world she was in. The EMT didn’t seem to notice her at all, continuing his frantic efforts to help someone else on the ground.

Frustration and terror bubbled up in Yn’s chest as she turned, looking wildly for someone else—anyone who could see her, could hear her. She didn’t know what was real anymore, and the weight of her own disembodiment made her feel small and helpless.

Yn’s breath caught in her throat as her eyes landed on something that made her heart stop—herself. There, lying in the snow, her body surrounded by EMTs. The sight was surreal, like an out-of-body experience, and she could hardly process what she was seeing. She reached out instinctively, but her hand passed right through the scene as though it were a fleeting memory.

Her pulse hammered in her ears as she tried to make sense of it. Is that... is that really me? The image of her lifeless form in the snow felt distant and cold, yet the emotions rushing through her were too raw to ignore.

Her body, motionless and pale, was being carefully tended to by the EMTs, their hands moving with practiced precision, as though this was just another emergency to be handled. But Yn couldn’t shake the sense that something was wrong. Something had shifted.

“On three, we lift,” one of the EMTs called out, his voice firm and steady, signaling the others to prepare.

The words felt like a punch to her gut. They weren’t talking about her—they were talking about her body. The weight of that realization hit her all at once, a cold, hollow ache spreading through her chest. This can’t be happening.

She watched helplessly as the EMTs lifted her body from the snow, their movements synchronized. Her lifeless form was carefully cradled and placed onto a stretcher, the medic’s calm instructions echoing in her mind as they began to wheel her away.

Yn wanted to scream, to run to them, to demand to know why they weren’t helping her, why she wasn’t there with them. But the words wouldn’t come. She could see everything, feel everything, but nothing seemed to connect. She wasn’t part of this world anymore—not physically, at least.

In that moment, she realized the truth, the awful reality of it all. She was here, but she wasn’t. Her body was being taken away, but she remained, trapped in this disorienting space between the living and the dead.

Yn’s heart pounded in her chest as she watched her body being loaded into the ambulance, the reality of the situation crashing down on her. She couldn’t quite grasp what was happening—how she was standing there, yet her body was somewhere else, being whisked away as though she were nothing more than a memory.

Desperation clawed at her as she took a hesitant step toward the ambulance, her feet barely making contact with the snow. She couldn’t feel the cold; the world around her felt oddly detached, like she was floating just above everything. But the instinct to move, to follow, was too strong to ignore. She needed to understand. She needed to know what was going on.

october 26th, 2021 10:00 pm

The chill of the fall air bit at their skin as Hongjoong wrapped an arm around Yn, holding her close as they walked away from the venue. His heart thudded in his chest with each step, the excitement of the night mixing with a sense of warmth he couldn’t quite shake. Being with her felt like something important, something he couldn’t quite explain, but it was undeniable.

His thoughts were a mix of exhilaration and uncertainty, wondering how this night would unfold, what it meant for them, for their connection. Everything felt right in the moment, like the world had shifted into place.

But suddenly, Yn came to a halt. Hongjoong almost didn’t notice at first, still caught up in the rhythm of their walk, but when he looked down at her, he saw that something had changed.

Yn stood perfectly still, her eyes wide and distant. It was as if a wave of confusion or realization had hit her all at once, and she was frozen in place, her breath shallow. Hongjoong could feel the tension in the air, the way her body seemed to stiffen, like she was struggling with something invisible.

“Yn?” he asked, his voice soft but filled with concern as he gently pulled her to face him. “Hey, are you okay?”

For a moment, Yn didn’t answer. Her gaze drifted over his shoulder, her eyes unfocused, as though something had pulled her attention away. She looked as if she were searching for something—someone. Her chest rose and fell with each breath, but she seemed lost in thought, caught between the moment they were in and something else.

Hongjoong’s grip tightened slightly, worried by the change in her demeanor. “Yn…?” he repeated, stepping closer.

" what do you want from me hongjoong.."

Hongjoong's heart skipped a beat as her words hung in the cold air. The question was raw, unexpected, and it cut through him like a blade. The weight of her words hit him harder than he anticipated. It wasn’t just a question. It felt like a challenge, a hesitation, an invitation to something deeper, something that he wasn’t sure how to answer.

His breath hitched as he stepped closer, his eyes searching hers. She seemed so distant, like a part of her was somewhere else—far away from the moment, far away from him. He couldn’t tell if it was uncertainty, confusion, or something else that held her back, but he knew he couldn’t let this moment slip away.

“I want to be with you, Yn,” Hongjoong said softly, his voice steady but vulnerable. His words felt like the truth, simple and pure, yet heavy with the weight of everything they’d shared and everything they hadn’t yet said. “I want to be here with you. If you’ll have me.”

He paused, letting the words settle between them. His hands still gently held her, a silent plea for her to meet him halfway, to let down the walls that seemed to be pulling her away from him.

Her eyes flickered with something—something fleeting that he couldn’t quite read—but before he could say anything more, she turned her gaze to the ground.

" why me? Why now?" she asked, her lips trembling.

Hongjoong’s chest tightened as he watched Yn’s gaze fall to the ground, her words lingering in the cold night air. The tremble in her voice made his heart ache, and he instinctively took a step closer, his fingers brushing against hers, a silent gesture of reassurance.

He couldn’t help but wonder what had brought those words out of her—what fears, what uncertainties were swirling in her mind. But he also knew, deep down, that it wasn’t just about the moment they were standing in. It wasn’t just about the way the world felt heavy and tangled between them. It was about the weight of everything she had to carry, everything she wasn’t sure she could give.

"Why you?" Hongjoong repeated softly, as though the answer to that question could ever truly be simple. “Because you’re you, Yn. Because you’re the one who makes everything feel… different. When I’m with you, I don’t feel like I’m just going through the motions. You make everything seem like it matters.”

He paused, his voice turning more vulnerable, more earnest. “I don’t have a perfect answer for why now—I guess it’s because right now, it feels like the right time. I don’t know if I can explain it any other way.”

Yn looked up at him then, her eyes still filled with doubt, but something in her expression softened, as if she were trying to process his words.

Yn’s breath hitched as Hongjoong gently pulled her closer, his hands warm against the cold of the night as he wiped away the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. The gesture, so tender and full of care, made her chest tighten with something she couldn’t fully comprehend. There was a rawness in his eyes, a depth of sincerity that reached her in ways words never could.

"Yn..." His voice was soft, yet it held a quiet determination. She couldn’t quite bring herself to look away from him, even as her thoughts raced, her doubts clouding her mind. But his presence was grounding, like an anchor pulling her back to the moment.

"The moment I laid my eyes on you, playing your cello," he continued, his voice steady but filled with emotion, "I just knew you were the one I wanted to be with."

Yn felt her heart lurch at his words. It was as if everything she had tried to suppress—her fears, her doubts, the lingering uncertainty about herself—was suddenly laid bare. He was seeing her in a way no one else had, and it terrified her. She opened her mouth, ready to protest, to explain why she wasn’t ready, but before she could speak, Hongjoong shook his head.

"Please, just this one chance?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper, but the sincerity in his eyes made her heart skip.

Yn froze, her mind battling with the storm of emotions inside her. She wanted to push him away, to protect herself, to keep the walls that had kept her safe for so long intact. But there was something about Hongjoong—the way he was looking at her, the way he was with her—that made it impossible to ignore.

Hongjoong’s heart raced as he saw the subtle nod, the quiet acceptance in her eyes. It was all he needed. No words were left to say, just the raw, unspoken understanding between them. His breath caught in his throat as he slowly leaned in, the distance between them disappearing with each heartbeat.

He cupped her face gently, his fingers brushing against the soft curve of her cheek. There was a tenderness in his touch, a reverence for the moment, as if he were afraid that moving too fast would shatter the fragile trust they were beginning to build. Yet, despite the uncertainty that lingered in the air, he couldn’t ignore the magnetic pull between them, the undeniable need to close the gap, to be closer to her.

Yn’s breath hitched as his lips finally met hers, soft at first, a careful exploration. The world around them seemed to fade into the background, the only thing that mattered was the warmth of his lips, the gentle pressure as he deepened the kiss, just enough to feel the weight of everything unspoken.

It was slow, patient, like they were both trying to savor the moment—an acknowledgment that this was something more, something real, that was blooming between them. For a moment, Yn melted into him, her body leaning into his touch, her fingers gripping the fabric of his jacket like she was afraid to let go. The kiss was a quiet promise, an unspoken vow to take things one step at a time, to trust, to be present.

When they finally pulled apart, their foreheads rested together, breath mingling in the cool night air.

Hongjoong smiled softly, his voice barely a whisper as he spoke. "Thank you for giving me a chance."

Yn’s heart was still racing, but there was a lightness to her now, a quiet warmth that she hadn’t felt before. She didn’t have all the answers, didn’t know what tomorrow would bring. But for now, she was here. With him.

“Let’s take it slow,” she murmured, her voice steady now, the uncertainty beginning to fade. "But I’m willing to try."

feburary 19th, 2023 12:15pm

The sudden rush of activity around her was overwhelming, the frantic movement of the doctors and nurses around her—everything was happening too quickly for her to process. Jogging by the nurses and doctor that hovered over her.

"Female, early 20s, collapsed lung, unresponsive," one of the doctors said sharply, his tone focused and commanding. "Let’s get her into operating room one now."

Yn stood frozen just inside the door, her gaze locked onto her own body, laid out on the operating table in front of her. The blood that stained her clothes, the mask over her face—everything felt unreal. It was like watching someone else, as if she were standing outside of herself, unable to grasp the full weight of what was happening.

The sterile, cold air of the operating room surrounded her, the bustle of the medical staff continuing on as if everything were normal, yet everything felt... wrong. She didn’t feel like herself anymore. Her body felt distant, almost foreign, as if she was a spectator in a nightmare she couldn’t wake up from.

A nurse came to her side, her voice low but comforting as she leaned in close. "You're in control of this whole show, baby. Whether you live or die, it's all up to you. I'm going to be by your side. I will not be leavin’."

The nurse’s words struck Yn like a lightning bolt, the gravity of the situation slowly sinking in. In control? How could she be? She was already here, trapped in the space between life and death, stuck in this bizarre limbo. Yet, there was something in the nurse’s voice, a quiet strength that reached through the chaos and uncertainty.

Yn looked down at herself again, at the form that was so familiar, yet felt so foreign in this moment. Blood. The oxygen mask. The steady beep of the heart monitor. She felt her chest tighten, a rush of panic threatening to overtake her, but the nurse’s words grounded her—offered her something to hold on to.

It’s up to me...

Her heart thudded in her chest as she thought of everything she hadn’t yet lived for. Hongjoong. Her friends. The music she’d yet to play. The chance to still make something of all the potential she had. The tears welling up in her eyes blurred her vision, but she didn’t let herself fall apart—not yet. Not until she could fight for it.

The cold, sterile environment didn’t feel as suffocating now. The nurse’s presence, her steady voice, gave her a sense of direction in a place where she had none.

november 9th, 2021 9:15pm

Yn couldn’t help but feel out of place as she stepped into the dimly lit bar. The low hum of chatter and clinking glasses filled the air, but everything around her felt distant, like she was on the outside looking in. Her fingers brushed against the cool glass of her drink, but it didn't quite calm the nerves that had begun to twist in her stomach.

The sound of her name being called made her look up. Hongjoong stood by the entrance, a warm, inviting smile on his face, his presence like a beacon in the crowd. His eyes, dark and intense, locked onto hers as he moved toward her with a confident stride.

He didn’t waste any time, offering his hand to her with a slight bow of his head. "Come on," he said softly, his voice warm and full of reassurance.

As they stepped into the back, Yn felt a rush of nerves that she couldn’t quite explain. The warm, dimly lit space was filled with the sound of instruments being tuned, the low hum of conversation among Hongjoong’s bandmates. There were amps scattered around, wires on the floor, and an air of excited chaos that came with preparing for a show.

But what made her feel most exposed was the fact that, as soon as they entered, the eyes of Hongjoong’s bandmates shifted toward her. The energy in the room seemed to shift, and for a moment, Yn felt like she was an outsider, a stranger in their world of music and camaraderie.

Hongjoong, however, was unfazed. His excitement was palpable as he turned to her with a bright smile, his eyes sparkling with genuine enthusiasm. “I’m so glad you came,” he said, his voice full of warmth. “You’re gonna love this. The band’s been practicing hard, and it’s gonna be a great show.”

He led her further into the room, guiding her with a hand on her back, but Yn couldn’t shake the feeling of being out of place. She was still getting used to this side of him—the musician, the one who was part of something bigger, something she didn’t fully understand. She felt like she was stepping into his world, and it was both exciting and overwhelming.

As they approached the bandmates, Hongjoong’s energy was infectious. He waved at the guys, who were all busy with their instruments or talking amongst themselves, but paused when he reached them.

“Everyone, this is Yn,” Hongjoong said, his voice proud as he introduced her. The bandmates looked up from their instruments, offering her warm, welcoming smiles. There was a casual ease about them, but Yn couldn’t shake the feeling that they were sizing her up, trying to figure out who she was in the midst of Hongjoong’s world.

One of the bandmates, a tall guy with a friendly grin, reached out to shake her hand. “Nice to meet you, Yn. I’m Mingi,” he said, his tone laid-back and easygoing. “We’ve heard a lot about you.”

Yn nodded, smiling politely, but her nerves were still running high. “It’s nice to meet you,” she said, her voice a little unsure.

Another bandmate, a quieter guy with dark hair and a focused expression, nodded in her direction. “We’re glad you could make it tonight,” he added, his voice smooth but a little reserved.

Hongjoong’s face lit up as he watched her interact with his friends. His energy was infectious, and it was hard to deny the sense of pride he seemed to take in having her there.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said softly to her, almost as if he were reminding himself that she was really there, in his world now. “I know this is a lot to take in, but I want you to be a part of it. All of it.”

Yn felt a rush of warmth at his words, but it didn’t completely erase the sense of vulnerability she was feeling. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to dive headfirst into his world, but the way Hongjoong looked at her, the way he included her in everything—she felt like she wanted to try.

Hongjoong noticed the slight tension in Yn’s posture, the way her eyes darted around the room as if she were trying to find a way to disappear into the background. His heart ached for her, seeing how out of place she felt, and instinctively, he reached out to her, pulling her gently towards his side.

"You don’t have to go out there or even be in the front," he said, his voice soft but reassuring. "You’re more than welcome to hang back here. Just... be comfortable. I want you to enjoy yourself."

His words were like a balm to the growing anxiety inside her. He wasn’t pushing her to be anything she wasn’t ready for, and that small gesture—a simple, comforting touch—was enough to make her feel a little more at ease.

Yn looked up at him, her expression softening as she took in his words. His concern for her made her heart flutter, and she felt the weight of his kindness. He wasn’t trying to drag her into his world forcefully. He was offering her space, letting her decide what part of it she wanted to be in.

"Thanks," she whispered, her voice tinged with relief. She glanced around again at the band, then back to Hongjoong, appreciating how he wasn’t making her feel like an outsider.

Hongjoong smiled, the warmth in his eyes never leaving. "Of course. And if you change your mind, I’ll be out there with you. But for now, let’s just hang out here and enjoy the show from the sidelines." He gave her a playful wink, making it clear that there was no pressure.

Yn let out a deep sigh of relief, the weight of her nerves lifting slightly as she nodded her head. She felt a sense of calm settle over her in that quiet corner, away from the chaos of the venue, knowing Hongjoong was there beside her.

Before she could say anything more, Hongjoong turned to her with a warm smile. His eyes softened as he cupped her face gently, leaning in to place a quick, sweet kiss on her lips. The soft press of his lips against hers was enough to make her heart skip a beat, grounding her even more in that moment. It was simple, but filled with a tenderness that made everything feel right.

As he pulled away, he flashed her a wink, his grin playful. "Stay here, alright? I’ll be back in just a minute."

Yn watched as he rushed towards the stage, the energy around him changing as he got closer to his bandmates. She couldn’t help but smile, her heart swelling with pride. She was still processing everything—this world of music, his band, the people—but in that brief moment, Hongjoong had made her feel like she belonged, even if only for a little while.

As the band took their places on stage and the crowd erupted into applause, Yn stayed back, watching Hongjoong’s every move. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to be out there with him, but from here, in the safety of her corner, she could take it all in. The way he moved, the way his confidence shone as he interacted with the crowd—it made her heart race, and for the first time in a long time, she felt like she was part of something bigger than herself.

The music began to play, and though she wasn’t on stage with him, she was right there in the moment, her eyes locked on him, cheering him on in her own quiet way. Hongjoong had invited her into this world, and even though it was overwhelming at times, she couldn’t help but feel a growing sense of excitement about where it might lead.

feburary 20th, 2023 1am

Yn sat on the bench beside her bed, her body tense, her legs trembling with a mix of anxiety and fear. Her mind was in a haze as she watched her own body being wheeled past her, pale and lifeless under the bright hospital lights. The sterile smell of the hospital was overwhelming, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the sight of the medical team rushing her body to the icu. It felt surreal, like watching a scene from a movie that was far too close to home.

Her heart pounded in her chest, the reality of the situation sinking in with each passing second. She wanted to scream, to rush to her own side, but she couldn’t. She was stuck in this strange, haunting space between life and death, unable to make sense of what was happening. Her mind was racing with questions, thoughts she couldn’t answer, and a deep sense of helplessness she couldn’t escape.

The sound of footsteps approaching pulled her from her thoughts, and she turned her head quickly, hoping to see a familiar face. Maddie appeared in the hallway, her expression full of worry and confusion. The moment their eyes met, Maddie started to rush towards her, but security quickly intervened, blocking her path.

"Hey! You can’t go past here," one of the guards said firmly, holding his ground as Maddie tried to push through.

Maddie flick him off as she let out a frustrated groan. Yn went up to the glass door as she placed her hand there as Maddie.

Yn’s heart sank as she watched Maddie break down, her words barely a whisper but carrying the weight of every unspoken fear. "Maddie..." Yn mumbled , her voice cracking as the tears streamed down her face. She could feel the overwhelming emotion rising inside her, the agony of being so close yet completely invisible.

Her breath hitched when she saw her parents rush into the scene, their faces etched with concern and worry. Maddie’s frantic questions hung in the air as they gathered around her, trying to offer some form of comfort in this moment of chaos.

Yn’s mother pulled Maddie into a tight embrace, her own sob catching in her throat as she tried to hold herself together. “Oh, Maddie…” she murmured, her voice trembling with sorrow. The pain in her words was raw, a mother’s anguish breaking through as she sought to comfort Maddie, even as her own heart was breaking.

Yn’s father stepped forward, wrapping his arms around them both, creating a cocoon of shared grief and worry. His eyes, bloodshot and puffy from tears, reflected the helplessness that hung heavily in the air. His voice was hoarse when he spoke. “Did they tell you anything? Anything at all?”

Maddie pulled back slightly, her face streaked with tears as she struggled to find her voice. “They said…” she began, her voice quivering. She wiped her face with the back of her hand, trying to steady herself. “They said it was a head-on collision. A collapsed lung, broken ribs, and—” Her voice cracked, and she couldn’t bring herself to say more.

Yn stood frozen, watching her parents and Maddie cling to one another. Her mother shook her head in despair, her tears falling freely now. “My baby…” she whispered, her knees threatening to give way as she leaned heavily into her husband for support.

“I don’t know if she’s going to make it,” Maddie finally choked out, her voice breaking as the weight of her fear pressed down on her. “They didn’t say much else. Just… just that she’s critical.”

Yn’s father tightened his hold on the two women, his own tears now streaming down his face. “She’s a fighter,” he said, his voice wavering but full of conviction. “Our Yn is strong. She’ll pull through. She has to.”

Yn felt like her chest was caving in as she watched the scene before her. The love, the pain, the desperation—it was all so overwhelming. Her family and her best friend, the people who meant the world to her, were suffering, and there was nothing she could do to reassure them, to let them know she was still here, fighting to find her way back.

“Maddie, Mom, Dad…” Yn whispered, her voice trembling as tears blurred her vision. “I’m still here. I’m not giving up.”

But no one could hear her. The invisible barrier that separated her from them was unyielding, and all she could do was watch, her heart breaking with every tear they shed.

november 30th, 2021

Hongjoong stepped into the lively house, the hum of chatter and laughter filling the air. The cozy glow of the lights warmed the space, and despite the initial flutter of nerves in his chest, his eyes instinctively searched for you. The tension in his shoulders eased the moment he spotted you, standing by the kitchen counter with your brother and his girlfriend, a bright smile lighting up your face.

Your laughter was infectious, drawing him in like a beacon amidst the bustling crowd. You were gesturing animatedly as you spoke, the soft hum of joy radiating from your little group. It was such a natural moment, and yet, to Hongjoong, it felt extraordinary. The way you laughed so freely, your smile effortlessly lighting up the room—it made his own lips curve upward.

He hesitated for a moment, standing near the doorway, watching the way you interacted with those around you. You seemed so at ease, so utterly yourself, and he couldn’t help but feel a pang of admiration, mixed with the nerves that hadn’t completely dissipated.

Your brother nudged you playfully, causing another bout of laughter to erupt, and Hongjoong took that as his cue to move closer. He adjusted his jacket, smoothing down the front as if it would help steady his racing heart.

“Hey,” he called out softly, his voice cutting through the buzz just enough for you to turn your head in his direction.

Your eyes lit up when you saw him, a warm smile spreading across your face. “Hongjoong! You made it!”

That simple acknowledgment was enough to make his heart stutter. He grinned, stepping into your circle. “Of course I did. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Your brother raised a curious brow, his gaze flicking between you and Hongjoong, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he just smirked, sharing a glance with his girlfriend before excusing themselves, leaving the two of you alone in the corner of the bustling room.

Hongjoong leaned in, his lips brushing softly against your cheek, his warm gesture drawing a quiet smile from you. The tender moment was interrupted by the sound of hurried footsteps, and you turned to see your mother entering the room, her cheerful energy practically lighting up the space.

“Ah, there you are!” she exclaimed, her voice filled with excitement as her eyes landed on the two of you. “Hongjoong, it’s so good to see you again!”

She rushed toward the two of you, her arms outstretched in a welcoming gesture. Hongjoong straightened up, his signature grin lighting up his face as he met her halfway. “It’s great to see you too, Mrs. [Your Last Name],” he said, his tone warm and genuine.

“Oh, none of that formal nonsense,” your mother said with a playful wave of her hand as she pulled him into a quick hug. “You’re practically family now.”

Your cheeks warmed at her words, and you glanced at Hongjoong, who seemed equally caught off guard by the comment. He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I’m honored. Thank you.”

Your mother stepped back, giving the two of you a knowing smile. “You’ve been keeping this one happy, haven’t you?” she teased, nudging you lightly with her elbow.

“Mom!” you protested, though your flustered tone only made her laugh more.

“What?” she said innocently, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “It’s just nice to see my baby with someone who clearly adores them.”

Hongjoong’s ears turned a faint shade of pink, but he didn’t shy away. Instead, he glanced at you with a soft smile. “I do, Mrs.—I mean, Mom,” he said, testing the word with a bit of humor, which earned an approving laugh from your mother.

“Well, good,” she said with a satisfied nod. “Now, you two go enjoy yourselves. There’s plenty of food, and your father’s been trying to show off his new grill skills if you’re brave enough to taste-test.”

With a wink, she bustled off toward the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone again.

Hongjoong turned to you, his expression a mix of amusement and affection. “I think I might be a little scared of your dad’s cooking now.”

You laughed, nudging him playfully. “Don’t worry, I’ll be your food tester. It’s a small price to pay for having you here.”

He leaned closer, his voice dropping slightly as he whispered, “I think I’m the lucky one for being here with you.

feburary 20th, 2023 10:30a

Yn’s gaze was fixed out the hospital window, the rhythmic beeping of the machine keeping her stable a constant reminder of the fragility of her current state. The hum of the bustling world outside seemed so distant, like a melody she could no longer fully reach. She took a shaky breath, her thoughts heavy and tangled, when something in the distance caught her attention.

Her eyes widened as she stood abruptly, the chair scraping softly against the floor. Through the glass, she saw Hongjoong, his figure unmistakable even amidst the chaos outside. He was running toward the hospital, his expression frantic, his strides fueled by urgency and worry.

“Hongjoong…” she whispered, her voice barely audible in the silent room.

Her hand instinctively moved to the window, as if the simple gesture could bridge the gap between them. She pressed her palm to the cold glass, her heart aching at the sight of him. He looked disheveled, his jacket barely clinging to his shoulders as he sprinted across the snowy pavement.

The desperation on his face was clear, and it struck something deep within her. It wasn’t just worry—it was fear, the kind that clung to every fiber of his being, driving him forward with reckless determination.

Yn’s chest tightened as she stepped closer to the window, her breath fogging the glass. She knew he couldn’t see her, couldn’t feel the weight of her gaze. But still, she stood there, watching, willing him to sense her presence somehow.

Yn’s feet carried her toward the ICU’s main doors almost instinctively, her entire being drawn by the pull of Hongjoong’s presence. The air felt thick with tension, her anxiety mounting with each step. She stood just beyond the threshold, her translucent form unable to do more than watch as he burst through the hospital’s front doors.

Her breath hitched when she saw him sprinting down the hallway, his hair disheveled, his face flushed from the cold and exertion. His eyes were wild, frantic, searching desperately as he neared the ICU.

And then he saw her body through the glass window.

"Yn!" His cry was loud, raw, and full of anguish. He banged on the glass with his fists, his voice breaking as he called out her name again.

"Sir! You need to calm down!" the nurse urged, her tone firm as she tried to guide Hongjoong away from the glass.

Hongjoong shrugged her hand off with an irritated huff, his frustration palpable. “I’m not leaving her!” he snapped, his voice trembling with raw emotion.

Before the nurse could respond, Maddie appeared by his side, her face a mix of worry and exasperation. She grabbed his arm, tugging him back gently but firmly. “Hongjoong, cut it out,” she said in a low, urgent tone. “You’re going to get kicked out if you don’t chill.”

He let out a heavy sigh, his body still tense as his eyes darted back to the window. “She’s in there, Maddie,” he said, his voice cracking. “I can’t just stand here and do nothing. She needs to know I’m here.”

Maddie’s expression softened as she stepped in front of him, placing both hands on his shoulders to steady him. “She knows, Hongjoong,” she said firmly, her tone laced with a kind of quiet strength. “But you losing it here isn’t going to help her. You need to keep it together—for her.”

Hongjoong’s shoulders slumped, the fight in him wavering as Maddie’s words sank in. He dragged a hand through his hair, his breath uneven as he tried to compose himself.

" joongie.." yn mumbled, watching their figure leave her sight.

december 15th, 2021

Hongjoong felt his heart swell, almost painfully so, as he watched Yn standing before him, her cheeks flushed from the crisp air and her laughter still echoing in his ears. She had this way of lighting up the world around her, making even the simplest moments feel extraordinary.

Her hair danced softly in the breeze, and the faint glow of the setting sun cast a golden halo around her. It was as though she belonged to this magical hour, a vision he couldn’t look away from.

“You’re staring,” Yn said with a teasing smile, her voice pulling him from his thoughts.

He blinked, a sheepish grin tugging at his lips. “Can you blame me?” he replied, his voice soft but filled with sincerity.

Yn rolled her eyes, though her cheeks grew warmer under his gaze. “You’re ridiculous,” she murmured, but there was no hiding the affection in her tone.

“Maybe,” Hongjoong admitted, taking a step closer to her. “But only when it comes to you.”

Yn bit her lip, trying to fight the smile threatening to break through, but she couldn’t. He always had a way of disarming her, of making her feel like the most important person in the world.

Hongjoong reached out, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. His fingers lingered for a moment, his touch warm against her skin. “You’re incredible, Yn,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

Yn leaned forward, her heart racing as she closed the distance between them, her lips meeting Hongjoong’s in a soft, tender kiss. The world seemed to pause, the cool evening air wrapping around them as their connection deepened.

Hongjoong’s initial surprise melted into warmth, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he kissed her back. Their shared laughter mingled into the moment, light and full of affection, as if they couldn’t help but revel in the joy they found in each other.

His arms circled her waist, pulling her closer, while her hands rested gently against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It was as if they were silently promising each other that this—whatever they were building together—was real, solid, and theirs to cherish.

When they finally pulled back, their foreheads rested against each other, both of them grinning like they’d just shared the best secret in the world.

Hongjoong tugged her hand into his pocket, " come on i have something to show you love"

Yn looked around the dimly lit warehouse, her eyes adjusting to the faint glow filtering through the dusty windows. The place was far from glamorous—cracked walls, old boxes stacked haphazardly, and cobwebs clinging to the rafters—but there was something charming about it. It was raw, unpolished, and full of potential, much like the dream Hongjoong and his band had been chasing.

" this is going to be the band's place - we finally got approval from our managment,"

Her hand remained snug in his pocket, and she could feel the warmth of his fingers against hers as he gazed at her with barely contained excitement.

“Really?” she asked, her voice tinged with awe. “This is going to be yours?”

Hongjoong nodded, his grin wide and proud. “Ours,” he corrected. “The band’s. But yeah. Management finally approved it. We’ve been saving up and negotiating for months.”

He stepped forward, spreading his arms out as if envisioning what the space could become. “Just imagine it, Yn. Our gear set up right here, a recording booth there. A space where we can practice, record, baby it's going to be amazing.”

Yn stepped closer, her eyes scanning the empty space with a growing sense of excitement. Hongjoong’s vision was infectious, and she could already imagine the transformation: the sound of music filling the air, the hum of creativity bouncing off the walls. It wasn’t much yet, but it was theirs.

“I can already see it,” Yn said, a smile tugging at her lips. “I can hear the music echoing through here. It’s going to be so good.”

Hongjoong’s eyes lit up at her response, his hands moving as he spoke, like he was sketching out the dream in the air. “And imagine this corner for the band’s merch, some cozy spots for us to relax after long sessions, and of course”—he grinned—“a place where you can come play your cello whenever you want.”

Yn's chest tightened with emotion, her gaze softening as she looked at Hongjoong, feeling a rush of warmth flood through her. The way he spoke about her cello, the way he included her in his dreams, made her heart swell in a way she hadn't expected. The love she had for him was so deep, so unwavering, it was as if her entire world revolved around him.

She blinked rapidly, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to spill over, but it was no use. They welled up, catching the light in her eyes as she took a step closer to him, her hand still held tightly in his. Hongjoong smiled at her, cupping her cheeks as he pulled her close to him.

Hongjoong’s touch was gentle but steady, his hands cradling her face as he pulled her closer, their breaths mingling in the quiet space. Yn’s heart fluttered as she gazed into his eyes, the weight of her feelings for him settling deeply in her chest. Every moment, every word, every small gesture from him made her feel more seen, more understood, than she ever had before.

In that moment, surrounded by the rough edges of the warehouse, they both knew one thing for sure—no matter where life took them, they would always have each other. And together, they would make every dream, every note, every moment count.

january 29th, 2022

Yn stood at the front, just a few feet away from the stage, her heart racing with excitement and pride. Hongjoong was right there, his fingers moving effortlessly over the strings of his guitar as he played with all his passion. Jongho’s voice soared through the venue, harmonizing perfectly with San, who added his own energy to the song. The crowd was electrified, cheering, screaming, and dancing as the music reverberated through the air.

Yn’s eyes were locked on Hongjoong, his face lit up with a grin as he caught her gaze from the stage. There was something about seeing him up there, so alive and so in his element, that made her heart swell with admiration. He wasn’t just a musician; he was a force, a person who had worked so hard to get to this point, and now he was sharing it with the world.

The energy of the room was contagious, and as the beat dropped, the crowd lost their minds, jumping and clapping in perfect rhythm. The sound was overwhelming, but all Yn could focus on was the way Hongjoong moved on stage, the way he made it all look so effortless. He was doing what he loved, and she couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of pride and joy for him.

As the song built to its climax, Hongjoong’s eyes met hers again, and he gave her a subtle nod, as if to say, This is for you too. Yn’s heart skipped a beat, the connection between them even more intense than before. The crowd was screaming, but in that moment, it felt like it was just the two of them, sharing something beautiful.

Yn fumbled with her fingers nervously, her gaze flickering between the boys as they loaded their gear into the van. The sound of laughter and conversation filled the air, but her thoughts kept drifting to how much her heart raced in anticipation. She could see the boys—Hongjoong, Jongho, San, and the rest of the band—smiling, their faces lit up with the excitement of a successful show. Yet, she felt a nervous flutter in her chest.

Hongjoong caught her eye from across the parking lot and flashed her a wide grin, his energy infectious. He had just finished talking to some of the crew members but immediately made his way over to her.

"Hey," he greeted warmly, pulling her into a quick but tender hug. The weight of his arms around her made her feel grounded, despite the chaos around them. "You good?" he asked, his voice low, filled with concern but also affection.

Yn nodded, trying to hide the anxiety that still simmered in her stomach. "Yeah, so proud of you baby!"

Hongjoong chuckled, placing his case on the ground as he pulled her to the side. " hey, what's wrong?"

Hongjoong stepped closer, his brow furrowing in concern as he gently cupped her face, making her meet his gaze. "You don’t have to hide it, Yn," he said softly, his thumb brushing across her cheek. "Talk to me. What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?"

His words, his tone, made her heart flutter, but the anxiety still lingered. She took a deep breath, steadying herself before speaking again. " i applied to julliard "

Hongjoong's breath caught in his throat, his mind racing to process what Yn had just said. He took a step back, trying to read her face, but all he saw was a mix of uncertainty and fear.

" julliard..wow," His voice was softer than he intended, but the shock was clear. His heart felt heavy, the weight of her words pressing down on him. He had always known how talented she was, but hearing her mention Julliard—one of the most prestigious music schools in the world—took him by surprise.

Yn nodded, her eyes avoiding his gaze. she gulped, " i got an audition, in seoul. i go next week and i was wondering if you'll go with me.."

" that's in new york yn,"

Hongjoong’s words hung in the air, heavy with the reality of the situation. New York. It felt like miles away, a world apart from everything they had here. He was torn between wanting to support her and the gnawing feeling in his stomach, knowing what it could mean for their relationship.

Yn fidgeted with her hands, her heart racing. “I know. I just... I can’t go alone, Hongjoong. This is everything to me, and I want you there. To help me through it, to support me like you always do.”

Her voice trembled slightly, and Hongjoong could hear the vulnerability in it, the fear of taking this huge step alone. His heart ached for her, for how hard this decision must have been.

" i-i can't baby... our manager signed us up for a gig next week and i-.."

yn felt her heart drop and hongjoong saw it in her face. The guilt crept up in him as yn nodded her head, swallowing the tears that wanted to drop. Hongjoong’s heart clenched as he saw the way her smile wavered, her sadness barely hidden behind the façade she put on. He could see the disappointment in her eyes, the way her shoulders sagged slightly, as if the weight of the situation was starting to settle in.

She smiled at him, " that's okay..it was kind a sprung up on you last minute."

Hongjoong's heart ached as he heard her try to downplay it. He could see through her words, the way she was trying to make it seem like it didn’t hurt, but he knew better. He gently reached for her hand, squeezing it softly.

febuary 20th, 2023 5:25pm

Hongjoong couldn’t keep still. His eyes darted around the waiting room, his mind racing a thousand miles a minute. His fingers were nervously gnawing at his nails as he paced back and forth. His thoughts kept circling back to Yn.

The rest of the band was quiet, some of them half asleep, clearly exhausted from the long day. But for Hongjoong, sleep was impossible. His heart was in his throat, each minute feeling like an eternity as he waited for any word on her condition.

He glanced over at Mingi, who was half sitting, half laying across a row of chairs, trying to catch some rest. Yunho was dozing with his head resting on his arms, while Seonghwa sat upright, clearly as restless as Hongjoong, though he was trying to keep his composure.

"Why isn’t there any news yet?" Hongjoong muttered to himself, pacing faster. He could hear the soft hum of the fluorescent lights above, the sound of muffled voices down the hall, but it all felt distant. His mind kept replaying the last moments he spent with Yn before she left for the audition, how everything had felt so normal, so right.

His heart skipped as he thought about her walking through those doors, the joy in her eyes when she spoke of her dreams, and how much he wanted to be there by her side through it all.

The door to the waiting room creaked open, and Hongjoong snapped his head towards it. A nurse stepped inside, her expression unreadable. His breath hitched as he took a step forward with yn's mother and father.

“How is she?” yn father asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

The nurse paused, giving a small, empathetic look before answering. “She’s stable for now. The next few hours are critical. She’s been through a lot, but the doctors are doing everything they can.”

Hongjoong breathe hitched in his throat as Maddie looked at him. Hongjoong left, tears streaming down his face as he left, his chest tightening as maddie trailed behind him.

Hongjoong’s legs felt like they were made of lead as he staggered out of the waiting room, the words of the nurse echoing in his ears. Stable for now. His heart was pounding, a rhythmic beat of fear that seemed to sync with the deep ache in his chest. The weight of her words hung heavy over him, every step feeling like it might crush him beneath its gravity.

His vision blurred with unshed tears, but he didn’t care. All that mattered was getting to her, making sure she was okay. He didn’t even know where he was going, just that he needed to move, needed to do something.

“Maddie, stay back,” he croaked, trying to steady his breath as he rounded a corner. But Maddie’s footsteps were right behind him, firm and determined, just like her.

“I’m not leaving you alone,” she said, her voice low but insistent. She caught up to him, grabbing his arm as he tried to push forward. “You can’t do this alone, Hongjoong. Let me help.”

He shook his head, wiping his face with the back of his hand as he looked at her, eyes filled with pain and guilt. “I should’ve been there. I should’ve gone with her. This is my fault.”

“Stop,” Maddie said, her voice firmer now as she stepped in front of him. “It’s not your fault, Hongjoong. No one could’ve predicted this.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm the storm inside of him, but the thoughts were too overwhelming. The image of her, smiling and excited just hours before, was burned into his mind. The memory of their last words together—so full of hope and love. And now, here he was, standing in the hospital corridor, unable to protect her.

“I don’t even know if she’s going to wake up,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I can’t lose her, Maddie. I can’t.”

Maddie reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, her grip strong and reassuring. “She’s strong, Hongjoong. And so are you. Whatever happens, you won’t be alone in this. You have us. You have me.”

Hongjoong nodded, trying to find some semblance of strength in her words. He swallowed the lump in his throat, a shaky breath escaping his lips.

" did she make it ? into julliard?" hongjoong asked, his voice cracking.

Maddie shook her head no, " she was supposed to get a letter today..so we don't know,"

feburary 27th, 2023 10:30am

" yn ln "

yn breathe hitched as she looked at Maddie who gave her an encouraging smile.

" you got this, go geek out on stage " maddie said, smiling widely at her.

Yn nodded her head as she stepped onto the stage. She let out a breathe. As she sat on the chair, she brought her bow out and began to play.

The moment her bow touched the strings, everything else fell away. The world, the crowd, the noise—everything blurred into the background as Yn's focus locked solely onto the cello in her hands. She felt the music rise within her, each note flowing like a wave of emotions she hadn't realized she was holding onto.

The sound filled the room, vibrant and alive. It was as if every chord was an extension of herself, her heart beating through the cello’s strings. The bow moved fluidly, her fingers finding their way effortlessly as she sank into the music, the rhythm pulsing through her veins.

She wasn’t just playing. She was alive in the moment, her soul dancing with every note. The audience was captivated, entranced by the passion that poured from her. And in that moment, Yn could feel it—the connection between herself and the music, a bond that no words could describe.

As the bow glided across the strings, the music swelled, carrying her higher with each note. Yn felt weightless, as if the melody itself were lifting her onto a cloud. The world outside her cello didn’t exist, not the aching silence from Hongjoong nor the uncertainty that had plagued her since their last conversation. Here, on stage, she felt whole.

But even as she poured her soul into the music, a bittersweet ache lingered in the back of her mind. The absence of his voice, his laughter, his reassuring words—it all weighed on her. She hadn’t heard from him since she told him about the audition, and the void he left felt like a quiet, unspoken goodbye.

Still, as her fingers danced over the strings, she let herself believe for a moment that the music could reach him, wherever he was. That maybe, just maybe, he’d hear it and understand everything she couldn’t put into words. That this was her love, her passion—and it didn’t mean there wasn’t room for him too.

The final note lingered in the air, a perfect echo of her feelings: raw, vulnerable, and yearning.

feburary 20th, 2023 10pm

Hongjoong's breath hitched as he stepped into the room. The sterile smell of antiseptic and the rhythmic beeping of monitors filled the air, a stark contrast to the life and energy that always surrounded Yn. She lay there, her face pale against the stark white of the hospital sheets, her frame seemingly smaller, more fragile than he remembered.

It was like the world had stopped turning.

His knees threatened to give way as he approached her bed, the weight of his emotions almost too much to bear. Hongjoong clenched his fists, forcing himself to stay upright, to be strong for her even when every part of him felt like crumbling.

“Yn,” he whispered, his voice cracking. He reached out, his trembling hand gently brushing a strand of hair from her face. The sight of her like this, hooked up to machines, her chest rising and falling so faintly—it was unbearable.

He sank into the chair beside her, clasping her hand in his, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. Hongjoong pressed his lips firmly against her knuckles, the warmth of her skin faint but enough to keep hope alive. His tears fell freely, dripping onto their joined hands as he clung to her, his heart breaking with every shallow rise and fall of her chest.

Yn froze as she stood beside him, her translucent figure mirroring the stillness of the room. She watched in disbelief as Hongjoong reached into his pocket, pulling out a slightly crumpled envelope. Hongjoong’s fingers trembled as he unfolded it, his tear-streaked face softening as he read the letter. His voice cracked as he began to read aloud, the words carrying through the room like a whisper meant just for her.

“You got in... you’re going to Juilliard, Ynnie,” he repeated, his tears falling freely, dripping onto the crisp paper. His grip on the acceptance letter was tight, as if holding onto it would somehow keep her tethered to this world.

Yn’s ghostly figure stood frozen beside him, her eyes wide and glistening as she took in the moment. Her voice cracked, though he couldn’t hear it. “I got in...?” she whispered, her ethereal form trembling. “I really got in...”

Hongjoong nodded to no one in particular, as though responding to her unspoken words. "You did it," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "You’re incredible, Yn. I always knew you would make it."

The weight of his love and regret was almost tangible, filling the room like a storm about to break. "You worked so hard for this," he continued, clutching the letter against his chest. "I should’ve been there for you, cheering you on, not stuck in my own head. I’m sorry I wasn’t. But I’m so damn proud of you."

Yn reached out, her hand hovering inches above his tear-streaked face, wishing desperately that she could comfort him. “Hongjoong...” she murmured, her voice shaking. “I wish you could hear me.”

The stillness of her body in the hospital bed mirrored her helplessness. The machines beeped steadily, indifferent to the emotional storm in the room. And yet, Hongjoong’s words, his raw, vulnerable love, seemed to reach something deep inside her.

The faintest flicker of movement stirred in her fingertips, unnoticed by either of them—but it was there.

Hongjoong’s voice trembled as he spoke, his chuckle brittle with the weight of his emotions. He shoved the letter back into his pocket, his hands shaking as he ran them through his hair. “I’m sorry for ignoring you, Yn,” he said softly, his gaze locked on her still form in the hospital bed. “I got so scared... I didn’t know how to handle it. You were chasing this huge dream, and I... I didn’t know if I’d be enough to keep up.”

He laughed bitterly, tears slipping down his cheeks as he sat back in the chair, gripping her hand tightly. “I thought maybe if I stayed distant, it would hurt less if things fell apart. But it didn’t. It only made everything worse. I pushed you away when I should’ve been holding on tighter.”

Yn’s spirit stood frozen beside him, her translucent figure trembling as she listened to his confession. “Hongjoong...” she whispered, though her voice couldn’t reach him. Her heart ached at the sight of his raw regret, the tears he tried to hide, the way he clung to her hand as if it were his lifeline.

“I was so stupid,” he continued, his voice cracking. “You deserved someone better—someone who would have stood by your side no matter what. But I was scared of losing you to the world. And now... now I’m scared I’ve lost you for good.”

Yn’s gaze darted to her body in the bed, her fingers unmoving, her chest rising and falling with the rhythm of the machines. Her ethereal form shimmered as she stepped closer to him, desperate to bridge the gap between them.

“You haven’t lost me,” she murmured, her voice breaking. “I’m still here... I’m trying to come back to you.”

As if sensing something, Hongjoong leaned forward, his head bowed over her hand. “Please, Yn,” he whispered. “If you can hear me, if there’s any part of you that can feel this... come back to me. I’ll wait forever if I have to.”

The sudden rush of air into her lungs was startling, as if she’d been submerged underwater and finally broke through the surface. Yn gasped, her ghostly form snapping back into her body with a jolt. The darkness that had surrounded her felt heavy, but the warmth radiating from Hongjoong’s touch lit a spark deep within her.

Her fingers twitched again, this time more deliberately, and then her eyelids fluttered. A small groan escaped her lips, hoarse and barely audible, but enough to send Hongjoong reeling back in shock.

“Yn?”

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