#to make me waking up worth it
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Oh boy I can't wait to get 5 hours of sleep before this gp 🌚
#fernando. im gonna need you to pull out a banger performance today#to make me waking up worth it#hes gonna win the race guys.......#forgot to draw him with a crown but tnats fine because hes gonna win#if not im gonna need to draw myself au comfort art 😭😭😭😭😭#but god i really hope its noy a boring race(for me) cause ill just be morose and pass out for 4 hours#I WANNA BE HAPPY AGAIN 🥺 LIKE ZANDVOORT#hey guys remember that 15 years ago he won from starting 15 place- dont worry about the circumstances behind that#but ugh i guess i try to think about how good his starts are#like p5 wasnt that promising 2 race ago but hey look where we go#*got#sorry but i am kinda just manifesting a ferr//ari fuck-up and me//rc of course#nothing else matters as long as nandos on top 👏👏👏👏👏👏#my mclaren boy isnt even up there either so :((((#MANIFESTING PLEASE#sorry i am tiresd and delusional and am resigning myself to so little sleep 😭😭😭😭#i gotta be positive in some form!#im tired enough that i really am considering praying to my fernando poster HAHAHAHAH 😭😭😭😭#about to kneel down i swear to god#catie.rambling.txt
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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barely in time for dunmeshi thursday - the shopify is finally live!!
there are posters (not pictured) and mugs and totes, and shirts from toddler sizes all the way up to 5x!! there are also other shirt colors than white, i just don't like them as much so i didn't bother screencapping; see for yourself in the listings
some of the designs are single-sided prints and others are double-sided to spread the art out more
there's also a bonus design inspired by episode 21 which you can preview under the cut >:3
there is only one color for this shirt. that's all you need for it.
THEY LET HIM MILK THE MINOTAUR!!!
#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#draws#my margins are insanely low so these are all abt as cheap as i can make them#i especially ate the costs on the 2-5XL sizes bc i think it's bs that they're always so much more expensive...my margin on one is 4 cents#i'll be adding more of my original art and maybe other fanart stuff at some point but for now....i need to sleep lol#set up shopify and product listings for like 18 hours consecutively and it was a STRUGGLE....hopefully worth it....#feel free to message me if there's a Problem or smth and i'll troubleshoot when i wake up#beyond that: enjoy your dunmeshi thursday!!#also i'm officially dedicating the bonus design to wereralph. i just think he would like it for some reason lmfao
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What astounds me about the whole "you need a pure human SOUL to perfect the serum" thing is that so many people take Chujin's conclusion at face value. Chujin Ketsukane? Chujin "Winner of the 'You Tried In Engineering' Award" Ketsukane? Chujin "Fumbled Inventing Robots So Hard He Earned The Ire Of The Usually Pretty Chill King" Ketsukane? Chujin "I Accidentally Killed A Human Child By Overshooting The Parameters On My Guard Robot" Ketsukane? That Chujin Ketsukane?
#undertale yellow#get reaaaaal.#get so reaaaaaaaal.#i know that people make his conclusion correct because they wanna bring Kanako back (even though she's not actually dead)#or something along those lines to make Ceroba's whole tunnel visioned scheme all feel worth it in the end#(even though her whole arc is about not being so caught up in the past and reaching out to the people around her)#but it doesn't feel right to me that the serum would work. it feels more like the point is that this whole affair was a harebrained#scheme cooked up by a paranoid and desperate man.#believe what you wanna believe but personally i don't think being pure of heart would've been the answer. i don't think#there's any way for a miracle serum to be conjured up like that.#also SOUL stuff has been shown to be more complicated than most people think. alphys thought that injecting determination#into Fallen Down monsters would make their SOULs persist after death and they ended up waking up then fusing into Amalgamates#tldr: i *personally* think that even if Ceroba got Clover's SOUL the serum still wouldn't have worked.#(edit: I'm not vagueing anyone btw. I've had this post in my drafts (along with a lot of other thoughts to spare everyone the spam)#again. think what you wanna think. these are just my thoughts.)
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Fluent Freshman - Part 12
PREVIOUS
If there was one thing no one would ever guess about FF it is that he unapologetically LOVES Black Friday.
You may be thinking. Ugh Black Friday. Everyone is so rude and tired. The deals aren’t even that good. It can turn into a blood sport at the drop of a hat over a toaster that is 15% off.
You are correct.
That is why FF loves it.
It is the one shopping day of the year where every single one of his instincts are correct, valid, and useful. He has pulled his gran out of the way of elbow drops, he has avoided the gaze of a woman in PINK sweat pants who was looking for someone to steal a blender from, and he knows without a doubt that the cashier hates him already so there’s no need to worry about whether or not they hate him.
It’s like a breath of fresh air!
Everyone is just as antagonistic and awful as he thinks they are!
Shopping is actually the blood sport he always feels like it is!
So there he is standing in a line at the nearest store (Target) waiting to be let in with the masses who all look ready to stab one another for better positioning for a TV. The jokes on them though because his only goal is the grocery section and he deals with the threat of repeated stabbings for BREAKFAST.
He spots an IHOP in the distance and hopes his gran doesn’t feel too lonely. They’ve gotten buttermilk stacks together at the IHOP by the mall for years after the two of them finished Christmas Shopping.
Someone elbows him in the side to get his spot in line but FF does not really care. Again, he doubts any of these people are going to be racing him to the all purpose flour.
It’s 4 AM and the barricades come down.
There’s a rush of people pushing and shoving but FF just steps to the side and watches as they all rush in. He’d mostly stayed in the line because the throng of people made it easier to stay warm. He had left his jacket back at the house because the five hour energy might be making his skin feel super sensitive but he is pretty sure that if he wore his nylon jacket he would die.
The five hour energy also may be upping his anxiety just a little bit.
He walks into the store at a leisurely pace and while the crowd fights over the carts he grabs one of the baskets. He can feel the eyes of other shoppers all wondering if he has some insider knowledge on a good deal that would only require the basket or if it’s a matter of who gets to the back to receive the ‘redeem’ coupon.
He sees a few shoppers get lured in by his siren call and much like a siren following anything that FF is about to do will undoubtedly lead to their downfall.
But FF doesn’t care about that.
He cares about HIS downfall.
So he makes his way to the grocery section and ignores the six different shopping assistants who try and guide him to where he ‘should’ be shopping and each of them only give him increasingly confused looks when he states his intention to go to the grocery section every single time.
Is it easier to ignore their stares when the five hour energy have set his baseline heart rate to something that might be too fast to register as a heartbeat? Maybe.
It is easier to ignore the confusion on their faces when he can see both the past (he asked for TWO favors from Andrew in one day how is he still alive???) and the future (still malleable at the moment apparently. There’s even a future where Andrew actually just is trying to make overtures of friendship but he dismisses that one as INCREDIBLY unlikely and looks at the far more viable one where Andrew at least makes his death quick while he enjoys his great gran’s brownies.)
It’s good to set reasonable goals for yourself.
So he arrives at the grocery section which is deserted aside from one employee who may or may not be asleep against a shelf. FF looks and….not a shelf he needs so he is not about to wake that poor man up.
So he gets everything he needs for his great gran’s brownies (he’s trying to buy his life here so he is not about to assume he can use ANYTHING in the house), the ingredients for a good breakfast (because he really needs to eat something that is not a five hour energy or sugar for the sake of his poor stomach and he may as well get enough for everyone), and (since Captain Neil mentioned it & he is trying to buy his life here) the ingredients to bake another pie.
While he grabs cinnamon he checks to see if they have grandma’s love in stock but, alas, it continues to be unavailable commercially.
He stares at the whipped cream for so long that the employee asleep in the other aisle woke up and asked if he needed help and, startled, he dropped it in his basket. “No I’m good.” He says before power walking out of the grocery department and deciding to brave the Home Goods section to buy some incense so that he can hopefully channel the spirit of his great gran to assist him in this, the darkest of his baking hours.
He arrives at the check out stations and finds the shortest line .
He can feel eyes on him, inspecting his purchases, judging them, judging him, who the fuck goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush?
FF.
FF goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush.
The cashier looks for hidden cameras but FF has no such thing accompanying him today or ever (as far as he knows.)
After a moment the cashier must look at the ever growing line and decide that whatever scheme they think FF is up to isn’t worth trying to figure out. They offer a membership card, FF valiantly declines to get one despite the two attempts.
He is out the door with four bags of groceries that all have a target on them that feels a little too correct. It’s 6 AM now (he really did lose a lot of time at the whipped cream section) and he’s walking back to the house in Columbia.
He actually feels a little bit better since he at least got to experience his actual favorite blood sport (sorry Exy) and he even got another 2 five hour energies while he was in the check out line so he could replace some of the ones that he had gone through.
“Smith?”
He would like to thank the combined weight of the groceries for keeping his feet on the ground when he heard Captain Neil’s voice.
He turns and Captain Neil is looking at him wide-eyed in his running gear that Smith has seen him in. “You were shopping??” He asks.
FF nods and lifts up the four bags as evidence. “Why didn’t you pick up your phone?” He asks.
FF almost scoffs but he doesn’t, “You can’t be distracted when you’re in a Target on Black Friday. That’s how you take an elbow to the eye.” He responds because it’s like Captain Neil has never experienced the WWE-like environment of Black Friday shopping.
Captain Neil blinks at him.
“Text Andrew or me next time you’re going to go off into the night or just let us know beforehand. Andrew would have driven you.” Captain Neil says and grabs two of the bags out of FF’s hand. “C’mon let’s get back and maybe you can get some sleep.” Captain Neil sighs.
“I’m fine.” FF adjusts the bags so he has one in each hand.
Captain Neil does not say anything so FF assumes that he has accepted that.
***
FF had not been asleep on the couch when Neil had walked through the living room. Neil, in a move that had Andrew fully waking up, went back to the room to check his phone to see if FF had texted him an update on going out. All that greets Neil is the impersonal series of texts that mostly confirmed when practice times had been changed, when the bus was leaving, and spelling on various Spanish words.
FF isn’t a big text person.
He’s more of an in-person kind of friend.
Neil likes that about him most of the time.
“What.” Andrew asks face still half buried in Neil’s pillow.
“Smith isn’t on the couch.”
That has Andrew getting up despite the early hour and their activities the night before. Neil watches as Andrew grabs his own phone to scroll through but seems to come up with the same lack of communication that Neil does.
Andrew does do the extra step and hit the call button.
But all he gets is the confirmation that the VM has not been configured that has greeted them every time FF misses their calls. (Voicemails make FF anxious so when he got his new phone he just…never configured it.)
Neil knew that FF was not pleased with them and somehow the calm request to either stop fooling around or let him out had hit him and Andrew harder than any of the screaming demands that the two of them were usually met with from Nicky, Kevin, Aaron, or any of the other Foxes.
“You said he wasn’t mad.” Neil says.
“He nodded.” Andrew confirms.
“Maybe he went on a walk?” Neil tries as they come out to the living room. They look at the front door and find that it’s locked but it looks like Aaron’s keys are gone. “He probably is going to come back if he took Aaron’s keys since Aaron wouldn’t be the one he’d be irritated with.” Neil rationalizes.
“He didn’t bring his jacket.” Andrew says looking at the black jacket still on the hook by the door.
“We can go and see if we spot him.” Neil offers.
Andrew nods and Neil heads out first since Andrew is still in his sleeping clothes and will need some time.
Neil had not expected to find FF walking back to the house with groceries for breakfast and the pie that Neil had mentioned hoping they could bake at the house.
“Is this for the pie?” He asks looking down at what was in the bags he was carrying as the walked back to the house. Neil managed to shoot off a quick text letting Andrew know that it was fine, FF just went grocery shopping.
FF just nods, “Got everything but Grandma’s love.” He says.
FF is a nice guy to brave the stores on a morning like this but FF also looks like he hasn’t slept a wink.
“Did you sleep at all last night?” Neil asks.
“I’m fine.” FF repeats.
Neil really is starting to understand his friends’ hatred for the phrase.
They get back to the house and Andrew is sat out in the living room. FF stops and blinks at the sight of him sitting there.
It is a well-known fact that Andrew does not willingly wake up early most days unless he has to. Neil is glad that Andrew has a friend that he’s coming to care about the way Andrew cares about FF.
Andrew gets up and yanks the bags out of FF’s hands. “Go to sleep. Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.” He says with a scowl and walks to the kitchen to put away the groceries FF had bought.
FF just looks at where Andrew had gone uncomprehendingly for a few moments and Neil figures he’s just tired. Neil feels guilty that him and Andrew messing around in the car like that had rendered FF unable to sleep and the two of them had agreed last night that from now on when FF is in the car they can talk all they want but hands stay on the wheel and eyes stay on the road.
FF is plopped down on the couch when Andrew and Neil come out of the kitchen after putting away the groceries (“These are the ingredients for brownies.” Andrew had noted as he put away melting chocolate.) and he’s looking through his flashcards again and not sleeping. He hears Andrew make a disgusted noise next to him and the next thing he knows Andrew is smacking the cards out of FF’s hands.
“Go. To. Sleep.” Andrew enunciates.
FF stares at him, then down at the flashcards. “I don’t think I can.” He says which is better than him lying and saying he wasn’t tired even if the truth had Andrew’s mouth stretch into a thin line that meant he was beating himself up for something.
“Try.” Andrew orders. “Just lay down and close your eyes. Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” He says.
FF blinks but nods turning on the couch and laying down. The blanket is still over on the lazy boy that Neil had set it on the night before and Andrew rolls his eyes before grabbing it and tossing it over FF.
“Thanks.” FF says before closing his eyes.
Neil looks to Andrew who nods and Neil accepts that there’s nothing else to be done for now and heads out on his run.
***
FF can admit that he’s a bit adrift in what Andrew and Captain Neil are doing right now.
He really should go grab another five hour energy because falling asleep IN FRONT of an irritated Andrew Minyard feels like a death sentence but “Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” And having a blanket thrown over him did not feel like a threat even if he can feel Andrew’s eyes watching him.
FF is tired and when he’s tired he tends to make stupid decisions. So FF lets himself drift off to sleep while the man who was likely going to move him to a secondary location sat and watched.
His dreams are not peaceful.
He’s running, can’t escape, an echo of words he should have considered before letting himself drift off and he knows he’s going to DIE.
He wakes up with a start to the smell of bacon, eggs, and hashed browns with Nicky standing over him. “Hey there sleeping beauty! I made you a plate!” He says and hands FF a plate of breakfast that smiles up at him with a bacon mouth, egg eyes, and hashed brown hair.
FF takes the plate and digs in immediately. He needs his strength.
“Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.”
Andrew Minyard was going to hunt him for SPORT.
NEXT
Do your civic duty and: CAST YOUR VOTE TODAY ABOUT MEMES (closed)
Per Your Requests:
@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun
As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly? (Cheesecookie whatever you did let me actually select you this time)
#Fluent Freshman AU#Did Andrew watch FF sleep for an hour to make sure he actually got some sleep?#Yes#Did Andrew find the 2 five hour energies and throw them out while putting the money FF spent on them in his wallet?#Also Yes#Nicky wakes up and remembers that he promised FF that he could sleep in his room#So he is trying to make it up to FF with smiley face breakfast#FF's love of Black Friday mirrors my own#Do I like the deals? Eh. Do I like the barely concealed threat of violence? YEAH BABY#We go visit my Fam in Ohio for Thanksgiving and then me my mom and my aunt make a battle plan#Mom's on grabbing duty since she's tall while my Aunt and I are on protection detail#I got a black eye one year but the Xbox 360 was worth it for Tales of Vesperia#then we get IHOP#I miss when it started at like 5 AM#Now it just starts on Thanksgiving which is bullshit#I ain't moving from my turkey coma#AFTG Fic#AFTG#AFTG AU#AFTG OC#AFTG Shitpost#Andreil#FF - Pt. 12
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I wrap my fingers around the warm cup of tea. I have discovered that I like lemon tea now. I’ve been discovering a lot of things lately; my smile, to breathe without hurting, what it means to exhale, unwinded shoulders, and the love i have for my perima.
I take a sip. It’s new. It’s wonderful.
I learn to play rummy during my vacation.
I’m good at it, but my cousins are way better than me. But that’s okay. I’m still learning, and that’s okay.
I learn how to reduce points from my stack (one by one, I pick my troubles out of my chest. I don’t need them anymore), I learn that I know way more songs than I thought I knew (I look back at the path I’ve walked. How come I never noticed the flowers that lined them?).
My sister wins the game. I grin because I’m no longer in the last place.
I flip through the polaroids taken in the last two months.
click! I hold my birthday gifts in my trembling hands. They’re lovely. I burst into tears as my best friend holds me close. In her arms, I am safe. I know when I fall, she will be there to catch me, always.
click! I talk to her till midnight about all my woes. She’s saved as ‘mushroom head’ in my phone and I miss her terribly. A month later, we sit on the floor of a bookstore and she listens to me ramble about classics. The distance between us isn’t so huge anymore.
click! I’m out of breath from cycling. The girl painted in red sits behind me and yells, “Hurry! Before anyone sees us!” We sit down to catch our breath in a lonely, lively part of the forest. I look at her like she’s my sun.
click! we talk for hours and hours on the phone and dream of our future together, of grocery runs, dorm rooms and fitful sleep. Every time we meet, we end up in a pile of laughter and tangled limbs. He is home.
click! they yell my name whenever they catch sight of me, like my presence matters, like it’s precious. Our feet carry us towards each other, running, running, running, till we meet halfway in an embrace that steals my breath away. I knock my head against theirs and we exhale a laugh.
I close the album with a smile. There are many more polaroids to take.
days blur into weeks. I get my heart broken by the people I love, and I pick myself up again. I gag and push away my sister, laughing, when she bites my cheek. I goof around with my mother, learn to drive from my father and fall on my face once. The wounds don’t bother me because I know they’ll cease to burn one day. My doctor gives me a fist bump and wishes me luck for my exam.
I sleep. I wake up. I wonder what’s for breakfast as I brush my teeth. I’m glad I exist.
#this is the first poem i wrote after i started thinking oh. maybe it's worth waking up another day#i hope this poem makes you feel the warmth it made me feel#honey sweet and sleep soft#i hope one day you too can read this and think that#perima means aunt in tamil#grief#love#poetry#my writing#prose poetry#healing#recovery
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tagged by the gorgeous and fabulous @cordiallyfuturedwight and @aprylynn for february's roundup:
tagging the usual music favs: @jiminsproof @thvinyl @jimin-gaon @visionsofgideontheninth @spicyclematis @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @monismochi plus @kimtaegis for the amy macdonald of it all 💜 and also you, dear reader. MWAH
#heads up! here comes the director's commentary:#16 Carriages - now listen. i love texas hold 'em as much as the next daddy lessons supremacist#but holy shit. it doesn't hold so much as a candle to this track.#just unbelievably stunning. i'm begging you to give it another chance if you skipped over it the first time#Don't Forget Me - me and kayla and apryl all having ms rogers in this month's list... i think we might be better than everyone else actuall#End Of Beginning - good GOD we couldn't gatekeep djo any longer but it's worth it if only for all the bear tiktok edits.#and thus i have fallen for this track all over again. yes CHEF#Showtime - now if you've known me long enough you'll know i'm an absolute sucker for british indie rock bands#especially if their frontman looks like they might not make it through another winter#so you can imagine catfish has had an inexplicable hold on me. anyway their comeback single is actually pretty good#This Is The Life - fantastic tune. 2007 if you can believe it?#what a time to be alive and at the school disco and you're singing the songs and thinking this is the life and so on and so forth#Loving You Will Be The Death Of Me - tom odell can do no wrong in my eyes (ears?) anyway. lovely lovely new album#Never Need Me - been loving rachel for a while now and this single is brilliant. highly recommended.#plus the video features florence pugh and if that doesn't sweeten the deal then christ i don't know what will#Baby Now That I've Found You - i didn't even realise this was a cover of the foundations until hearing it again recently#because alison krauss just has an incredible way of making them her own and thus it's been on repeat.#Deeper Well - okay so now i'm seeing the country thread through this month's picks.#this is another lovely new one. hearing it on the radio and the fact that they have to censor “i used to wake and bake” is hilarious to me#shoutout kayla again because great minds..#Stay For Something - CMAT is phenomenal and if you haven't listened to her yet i can't recommend her entire discography enough.#she had her arsecrack out at the brits last night and well. i would die for her#(speaking of the brits. raye... i literally cried for her. go find the recording of her live at the royal albert hall.#-watch it twice and then come back and thank me)#artists-wise - most of these guys are consistently up there.#katie melua is a new feature this time because all my amy macdonald-ing put me back onto nine million bicycles.#used to get that one mixed up with 99 luftballoons but they're really very different. i'm a fool#so tl;dr: fantastic tunes. do listen#tag#receiptify
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WATER SEVEN BABYYYYY
Look at robin reacting when luffy says he wont give her up.... 🥺🥺
This is a joke right now but its actually a one piece tenet aldjsisjka
Usopp aksbaksjakqk the foreshadow is foreshadowing... Also Robin being happy with the crew after the Aokiji incident... Fuck!!!!
Sanji thinking robin just vanished or flew away and suddenly usopp is soaring thru the skies... imagine
AAAAARGGGGHHHH YOU CAN SEE THE GEARS TURNING
Zoro talking to merry..... only while he is alone of course
Why are nami and sanji matching ajdhakjsk look at the citrus sisters
Carpenter: maybe it was the government
Gov agent: I don't think so, also don't say that they are everywhere
LUFFY SUPPORTS WOMEN'S WRONGS!!!
Don't scream att chopper like that!!! Look at him... So small....
Imu tease???? (No) (Also I've changed websites again bc the translation is kinda off , I can't find a good quality b&w spanish translation and the colors scare me (i want the real manga experience))
GET HIM ICEBURG!!!!
I truly forgor if this is just a lie about her wanting to find the rio poneglyphs or genuine because she wants to die and will do it for them... because in skypiea she says she is not interested in the weapons so maybe if the gov pardons her but considering what she wants is illegal then idk abdjabjs this is such a dumb thing to forget... like thats important girl where did it go (reading this after remembering and it's kinda funny... i will make any sacrifice to kill myself (and keep you safe)... she goes HARD)
Little paulie and mozu and kiwi.... omg hello (the SBS says the twins wanted to be shipwrights too omg)
Franky's backstory is small but it does so much for me like it is so central to the themes... boats and people...
DID SOMEBODY ORDER MORE TRAGIC BROTHERS?
The fact that franky needs to learn this lesson to pass it on to robin.... do you understand how big this is.... also Tom does exactly as he says and takes responsibility for franky and what he has done... because he has done nothing wrong AND THAT'S HIS SON and he just punched spandam bc he wanta him to feel the pain franky feels... Tom is such a man..... proud of having built eater 7 up with the sea train.... goes out with a boom.... should we all kill ourselves....
I am crying again................... franky my god.... and the fucking frog!!! And of course franky can't stop Tom's hope for his island... of course he can't.... he hasnt learnt the lesson yet but this guy isn't over yet!! He has a life of being a pervert cyborg ahead!!! Iceburg following Tom's footsteps but franky not being able to do that bc of his guilt....
This is one of the coolest things chopper has done btw...
NAMII 😭😭😭
Robin damning the world for her crew when all she has ever done is damn her companions for her own sake.... how big is this...
I can't take this...... it's always nami in these positions... it happens AGAIN in Zou with Sanji... there is no way
The love letter gag is too good like damn that's so funny
AND IT'S NAMI GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN!!!! SHE LOVES ROBIN SO MUCH!!!!
#OOOH GRANDPA TEASE!!! he wanted to see luffy too?? omg and he owes garp a favor so he is going to kill him... alright then....#robin attacking FIRST and ZORO coming to her defense!!! CHEFS KISS!!! INCREDIBLE#my GOD!!! ROBIN WANTING TO LEAVE HER PAST BEHIND BC SHE TRULY HAS BEEN CHANGED BY THEM AAAAHHHH#this is so good... aokiji had to end crocodile and he still has a debt to someone (garp?) AND smoker told him stuff about luffy too#kokoro is such an mvp... be careful with the government agents she says.... hell yeah they should do that#the people in water 7 just giving advice to the pirates akdhaksjak sure go fix your boat but down there#robin laughing like ufufufu is so cute... also kalifa knowing everything bc she is literally a gov agent 💀 ICEBURG WAKE UP!!!#lucci pulling out the ship of theseus response akdhakaj conundrum solved everyone!!!#usopp is so heartbreaking already... beaten he goes to franky to get his money back knowing he will lose bc he wants to fix the merry... go#zoro cutting steel like its nothing... yeahhhhh also does luffy think the ship and usopp are like sanji and the baratie??#he wants to sacrifice himself for it but doesn't realize his life is the treasure and not the thing... luffy realizing this is not worth it#the fight was insane.... usopp feels useless and is enmeshed with the merry so he won't let it go and tells luffy does not care when he doe#so luffy gets mad at usopp for lying and not understanding what is going on and says he is not a carpenter (true but hurts) so he is nothin#god it is so bad... sanji breaking p the fight is so important AFTER zoro says to calm down and talk but they rile each other up...#THE DIALOGUE IS INSANE!!!! USOPP IN DENIAL AND LUFFY TAKES ALL OF HIS BAIT IT'S JUST SO AJDBAKSNSKN AND THE ONLY LIES ARE WHAT USOPP THINKS#ABOUT LUFFY!!!! BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND!! HE JUST FEELS!! HE SAW MERRY!! THE ONLY ONE!!!#luffy just laying on the hammock for hours... telling nami usopp wouldnt give up his life for an argument... then he only needs to fight...#is luffy fighting usopp just so he can de stress kind of??? like he is letting him get his punches in and then he will come back#once he thinks things through... like nami did... and what sanji ends up doing too... like just give him what he wants#luffy likes fighting friends even and this is the only fight he doesn't want.... the merry crying GOD!!!!#the impact dial... it hurts them both.... jesus.... luffy got two hits in but those were enough.... they are making nami cry SANJI KILL THE#everyone is crying but sanji and zoro akdjsks yeah luffy got him what he wanted... he can keep the ship but he can't beat him#and after all if strength is made by conviction luffy knows he is right and usopp is just in denial... so of course he would lose#franky reveal and Robin assassin reveal at the same time.... just remembered when usopp asked her specialty and robin said assassinations 😭#luffy nami adventures hell yeah.... and theres even more after the aqua laguna... LETSGOOOOO#goddamn you can see the thread of kuzan finding robin with the strawhats to then cp9 forcing her to act in water seven....#franky acting weird because he is worried about iceburg... i know it...#iceburg: its weird youre working for the government... but thats for the audience to worry about. not for me#pluton was built on water seven ✍️✍️✍️ also iceburg saying weapons are bad no matter who holds them... yeah franky would agree#reading one piece
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CLASS TRAITOR? WHAT FUCKING EVER!!
cleaner version :3
Art inspired by this one cover of the new mexico song:
youtube
#south park#gregstophe#sp christophe#ze mole#sp gregory#gregory of yardale#i couldnt stop rendering this art over and over again pls stare at it i worked verys hard#but it was so worth it i love this song sosos much#rebstella week can wait tomorrow morningf im very tired now and id like to be tucked to sleep and be read a bedtime story#i better wake up with nice little tags tomorro mornign so plsplspsl#abd my right earphone just broke today so pls have mercy on my sad little soul (i cant listen to this song properly anymoer)#i love this song so much till the point it made me make a gregstophe headcanon with it (its also in my gregstophe playlist which is cool)#Youtube
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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for my own sanity, i'm transcribing ZSX's goodbye video monologue for FDB:
去岁初夏逢君盛 今朝花落梦方醒 故事到此收笔 但人生还长 江湖路远 意气江湖正道安 风华正茂是少年 愿将来的方小包 经历风雨 不忘少年初心 走遍人间 仍有他���可寻 山高水长见日光 始终不忘少年样 前路存知己 江湖有相逢 于道各努力 千里自同风 方多病 希望你不服众望 成为下一个传奇
XSY's was much simpler (both he and CY pretty much just used their lines from the show; only ZSX spoke so much. and as c-netz pointed out, this truly is ZSX! the voice he gave FDB sounds different).
anyway, XSY's goodbye to DFS:
“一个剑客不该有弱点。” "A swordsman shouldn't have any weaknesses." “此生只有一愿,就是赢他。” "In this life, I have only one wish, which is to win him in a fight." 老笛,笛飞声。愿来世你能得偿所愿。 Lao Di, Di Feisheng. I hope, come the next life, all your wishes will come true.
and then CY's goodbye to LXY and LLH:
“去去重去去,来时是来时。” "What is meant to go, will go. What is meant to come, will come." “这人生嘛,本处处都是遗憾。” "In this life, intrinsically, regrets may be found everywhere." “十年了,没有什么放不下的,也更没有什么解不开的结。” "Ten years have passed. There's not much that cannot be set down, not to mention any knots that cannot be untied." 李相夷,李莲花。江湖一程,有幸相逢。再见了。 Li Xiangyi, Li Lianhua. You ventured into the jianghu. If we are lucky, we'll meet again. Goodbye for now.
and at the end of all their videos, the text read:
江湖别处有相逢,杯酒一盏此君行。 Elsewhere in the jianghu, we'll reunite. With this small cup of wine, I bid you farewell and send you off.
#mysterious lotus casebook#莲花楼#cdrama ramblings#i'll translate ZSX's later im too tired rn#if anyone wants to tackle it first tho please go ahead#the theme of “waking up from a dream” is making me very sad#ALSO like the fact that DFS's vid is about the next life... as in. the current one is no longer worth anything anymore#because LXY is no longer here#but good news my fellow FeiHua enjoyers cuz CY and XSY are collab-ing on a different cdrama lol#bad news is that apparently XSY's character is SUPER SAD#i saw ppl say it's even sadder than MLCB so...#but anyway i saw pics of XSY with white hair and now im devastated by the notion#of DFS having a 一夜白头moment bc he sacrificed all his life energy or wtvr to save LLH
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I don't have a lot of energy these days [because of The Horrors] so I'm looking at my day and my priorities and trying to plan how I'm going to spend what energy I have, because I do need to be able to rest and relax but there are also things that need doing and that is a careful balance for me.
I managed to [mostly] clean the kitchen last night so I've kicked it out of the priority list until next weekend. Unfortunately the living room, bathroom, bedroom, and my office all need cleaning too. I think of the priorities, my office and the bedroom are the most important to me, so I'll probably push the living room and bathroom until at least Friday.
There's also the laundry. I don't have any clean clothes and as we're moving into winter I need to be more rigid about getting that done because days where the clothes can be dried on the line will be more limited. So I definitely need to wash an outfit or two and hang them up in the next hour.
That's already a really busy day, so I'll probably cut it there. But it's definitely going to still leave me a lot of work this week. Half my cleaning, at least one more round of laundry, settling dog food for the next couple of weeks, planting the fall/winter greens, doing some set up work on my computer, work on some writing projects, cleaning out the fridge, and patching some worn clothes. My work week isn't insane atm, but it is definitely limiting. Right now I have 6+4+0+4+2+5+5= 25 non work/non-survival needs (sleep, food, shower, etc) hours available each week. I need to figure out a regukar distribution of these that means everything is getting done and I still have an hour a day to myself as often as possible. I think it's probably not realistic to give myself more than an hour a day for free time/fun, which is a bit unfortunate because I've found in the past that my floor tends to be getting 2-3hrs of free time most days because of how I deal with transition and decision-making.
25-7 [1hr per day] is 18 hrs, so I just need to decide where and how to distribute those in order to keep pace with things.
Lets say the garden needs 3hrs per week, the laundry needs 4 hours (specifically 2 sets of 2 morning/early afternoon hours), the cleaning needs an hour a day to get through a maintenance clean of the house, and 3 hours once a week to work down any deep cleaning that's built up. Which is....already three more hours than I actually have each week. So I guess I'll make a plan to work in the garden for 20-40min of 4 of my free hours each week.
It really doesn't leave me any wiggle room. Only about 4 hours a week that isn't explicitly allotted to something that needs doing, which means there will probably me a lot of weeks where I only get an hour or so at best across the whole thing for free time. I guess I've had a hard time accepting that at this point, having actual time for myself or a time-intensive project is only available if I've taken a day off work. I love my job, but it's ... not comfortable to realize that it's the only love in my life I actually have time for anymore.
I think that's probably why I end up here so much. It's this mindless little way of zoning out into my own head, dissociating away from the exhaustion, for a few minutes at a time. I keep thinking I want to use this space differently, make it more if the things I enjoy. But I think what I really want is just to actually have the time and energy to do things I love that take work. I keep crying a few times every day and I couldn't figure out why, but like
I dunno
Why **wouldn't** I cry a little every day? It's the closest I'm getting to actual emotional release or relaxation in my life. We'd probably all cry. Heck. A lot of us probably DO, capitalism being what it is.
I guess I'm starting to wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. What is there left for me to sacrifice to this life? What is actually serving me about not just letting myself go up like a fireball and take my surroundings with me? What in the ever loving fuck am I fighting this hard for?
All I ever want, all I want now, is to be able to live. To really, actually live. How does wanting to live bring you this close to killing yourself, whether on accident or on purpose? What am I actually doing that is LIVING and what am I doing that is FACILITATION of living? It can't all be facilitation, or I'm not actually facilitating fuck all.
I'm 30 goddamn years old and I need to figure out what it looks like to actually love my life. I fundamentally refuse to zombify myself like this for everyone else around me forever.
#i really wanted to believe that if i just sat down and did the math i'd be able to figure it out.#but there is literally not enough time in the day for me to do all this.#i suppose i could sleep less. it's...not great for me to get less than 9 hrs a day#but i could probably pull it off for brief stints#a week on a week off or something#get an extra two hours a day that way#and then of course there's my old go to#i could just stop eating or taking care of myself#lord knows it's my well-being that restri ts my time more than anything else#and if i work myself to death like mom did instead of committing suicide at least the life insurance pays out#in case anyone gives wifey inheritance trouble#i already don't eat until dinner so that part won't give me a TON of extra time#but an hour a day at the end of the night to write does sound lovely so it might be worth it#on the weeks i sleep less i could use my 2 extra hours a day to do ingredient prep so that wifey's food doesn't go to waste as much#maybe even work on the garden and the yard's facilities a bit. i have a few projects that need time and attention so those'd fot in#if i cut my pain meds too i could put an extra $50/week back in my budget and i could use that for project supplies and emergency funds#god even thinking about this is making me so tired.#i don't know what this will leave of me#i've been doing this so long now#feels like the last time i remember having a consistent hour to myself every day was my BA sophomore year#and that was the first time too lmao#i'd spent high school waking up at 3am every day after going to bed at 12am because I needed to do my hw in the mornings#my bus left at 7:30am and i had to do all my paper assignments - make myself lunch for the day - wash dishes/tidy the kitchen - and THEN#i could finally make sure i had my shit together for the bus and maybe nap for 5min#then i didn't get home from school until 4pm and i had to fix the kitchen from whatever my parents did before i got back#then make dinner for the family#then clean the living room from whatever the pets had dome all day#then take the dog for her nightly walk and take a shower#and usually sometime after dinner around 9pm I would get permission to run to my room and try to get a head start on my hw before 11pm#that was my lights out curfew so it gave me a blessed single guaranteed hour to do something for me.....assuming i could stay conscious
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i think the best news about finally kicking the can down the road far enough and embracing tbe fact that i kinda just . like country music. is that it coincides PERFECTLY with the current hyperfixation/new special interest (still unsure yet. it is hard not to think about that stupid tgirl all day every day though. who cares)
#finally listening to those recs i got from lukas..... uhmmm so who was gonna tell me this was the genre i wanted all along#<- its just because country is usually about how rather mundane life is filled with love and warmth while having a solid beat and strong#instrumentals#i think its honestly the same appeal lemon demon has yknow. it elevates life. its not your consiousness its the neverending hum!#a creature or more specifically a critter hiding and toiling away boiling a philosophical pot of self aware chowder that we call thought!!#with country its typically channeled a bit more into love songs but like. its the same deal when you compare someone you love to a museum#its just making the mundane routine of life warm and something worth experiencing again and again#yeah. the guy i wake up to every morning is like a museum. yes the constant thoughts in my head do feel like a little critter in there
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I can't believe Janelle Monae is the new Mona Lisa! Couldn't have happened to a more deserving gay!!
#glass onion#janelle monae#glass onion spoilers#helen brand#rian johnson#original#her work means so much more to me than literally any classical painting ever has#hell. the same could be said of their face - truly as a person a work of art#in my opinion the movie basically does end by saying wake up boys new Mona Lisa just dropped!#and I love it. I love the music. I love that art history nerds confirmed it is supposed to be the real Mona Lisa#I love this movie making the statement that no piece of property could possibly be worth more than human life#and juxtaposing a lifeless painting with a person who is very much living and taking action and improving the world#and I love the way that the Mona Lisa looks almost as though she approves of it in the way Helen looked at her approvingly earlier on.#it's like these two women are sharing a knowing smile across centuries#but it is the real and living one who has something to fight for#I'm STILL on my third watch of the movie because I have to pause every 10 minutes to post about it on Tumblr#I simply have to there's no other way! 😅#i regret nothing.
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Tip to ruin your morning: think about your father until you are nauseated with the regret of being born
#i wonder if i will ever be loved the way i love my parents... i wonder if i will ever be someone worth taking care of...#i am parenting my parents and they take it so for granted is kind of humiliating..#i am sick.. and my father is too... but im the one getting up at 6 to be on the market and make breakfast and clean the house ...#and hes just.. 🧍♂️ im sick i cant do shit... and i just want to cry bc i wish i had an easy childhood to be able to say#'i want to be a kid again' but tbqh i only want the childhood i was robbed of... i want to be able to feel sick and someone telling me#i can rest and theyll take care of it#i wish my dad could love me srsly... like dont just say i love you and then going away and letting someone else to take care of me... i wish#he could love me enough to learn how to cook for when i needed it and not viceversa...#i wish i was special enough to wake the paternity out of him...#im just stuck w a moody and rude teenager instead...#and its my fault too yk... i love him too much and i can only think.. oh.. is bc he had a horrible childhood.... but i dont think he even#knows the hell i grew up in even exist
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nothing can ever prepare you for the most devastating, horrific, and crushing of blows (having different taste in men than all of your friends)
#olive rambles#does it make me stronger than the marines that i wake up on the daily knowing no one will understand silly little men the way i do? yes.#god knew i would be too desperate if he put me in an accepting echochamber and so he punishes me thus#damn you're right theyre just men theyre not worth it; now can you give me a girlie who underSTANDS
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