#or anything else related to moving
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rival-the-rose · 8 days ago
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Have to document every time I see a new, good doctor I think - saw the neurologist today and he was everything I could've hoped for. Read my whole history going back 5 years, very professionally hinted that my previous neurologist was full of shit (he was but I didn't realize that was evident from just the notes), listened to my concerns and changed+added to his plan based on what I said, and laid out a diagnostic trail that explicitly ended in Mayo clinic if he isn't able to find answers. He took five minutes aside just to tell me that he's not happy with bucket diagnoses or jumping to psychosomatic explanations (roasting my previous neurologist who in his opinion missed a viral meningitis diagnosis in favor of psychogenic seizures). I think he's a little bit more into diagnostics than I am - I don't usually go for diagnostics unless they're going to change the treatment plan, but also at this point I think a firm diagnosis would be nice for planning and prognosis even if day to day management doesn't change.
It's also taking a minute to adjust. I was living my life with the assumption that at any time, without really realizing it, I could pass a threshold of stress that would cause me to seize until I couldn't talk or walk again. Bc I didn't think I was exceptionally stressed at the time, so obviously my threshold was fairly low and I wouldn't notice before it was too late. Having a different doctor review the results and tell me (without me bringing it up) that I likely had viral meningitis instead...idk. it just paints a very different clinical picture. Does make me wonder what's up with the occasional feelings I've gotten that I've categorized as pre-ictal (bc it feels the same as when i had those seizures). Probably won't change my response (cease stressful activity and take gabapentin or lorazepam) but interesting nonetheless.
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gemgdynamight0 · 12 days ago
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In this scene Katsuki is looking at the camera and saying "see you later", so it means we're gonna have a Katsuki centered spin off and-
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al-luviec · 5 months ago
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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destinywillowleaf · 6 months ago
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he's made it out of unlocalized hell but at what cost
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thepoisonroom · 9 months ago
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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taomubiji · 1 month ago
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🥺 Is there anything on the novel wiki you wish was more detailed 🥺(besides "It", the wang family, and character pages)? 🥺
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copia · 10 days ago
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the mortifying ordeal of attaching papa to a tattoo enquiry form
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cordyceptic · 6 months ago
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does anyone want to send a few dollars to my cashapp so i can afford to get cbd or something like that for pain relief haha... 🧍
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mamorigami · 7 months ago
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here to once again complain about ft and just the. existence of irene & being the mother of erza, which subsequently didn't matter at all after that arc ended. im scratching my head still at the prospect of giving erza an on-page mother, especially so late in the story with no build up outside the arc. idk if im making this up but i remember reading that it wasn't intentional at first, but irene ended up looking so much like erza that it was implemented in the story. i think thats dumb and stupid and boring and dumb!! fair warning that i barely acknowledge irene and erza's familial relation, any development is going be heavily canon-divergent & full of my own tweaks in regards to irene and her story..
#ooc.#ummm yeah and also irene sticking around in wendy was weird too its just ??? like why.#did anything even prove to be important about that outside of a “power upgrade” that couldve been accomplished another way#genuine question btw bc i dont even read 100yq and the last arcs of the main story are fuzzy#and this is coming from ME BTW??? I LOOOVE FAMILIAL ANGST & TENSION. opposing sides wouldve been SO delicious. but in the#end she ended up just??? confessing she's always loved her daughter and could never kill her--would rather DIE than do kill her#seemed so weird bc she was sooo cruel before the fight. literally 0 empathy in that noggin. and GOOD FOR HER!#idk that fight wouldve been better imo if it was these two ppl who felt so righteous & strong in their beliefs that they moved past being#related to each other. which erza did i think?? bc that person may have birthed her but she was never her mother or family.#that doesnt even work tho bc the only person who rlly Felt that familial connection was irene. they were literally strangers theres barely#a unique tension that it brings. it was just like any other fight..#erza had already found that family somewhere else. blood ties mean little to erza tbqh! and that holds strong with her past??#why couldnt irene match her freak.#also to have irene be THE creator of dragon slayer AND be a literaly dragon for 400(?) YEARS#AND THAT DOES NOTHING TO ERZA??? HELLOOOO#GIVE THAT BITCH HORNS OR SOMETHING GODDD#SO STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID
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mrdrhenwardhykle · 1 month ago
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Vanessa Studies
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twelverriver · 4 months ago
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listening to show yourself on repeat trying to tell myself that change is a good thing and i'm not doomed to fail whatever i touch and it's fine it's all fine... also i'm currently still (again) finding myself so that's also scary !! but i'm trying to see it as a good thing !! as a "i'm turning into someone i've been meant to my whole life" thing !!
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lesbiancharliedalton · 5 months ago
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wuntrum · 2 years ago
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kirexa · 1 year ago
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There's a lot of things that if you guys knew you would probably yell at me abt
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brltpop · 1 year ago
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thedevotionaltour · 1 year ago
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cognitive distortion brain euaaaauuuughhh!!!!!!!!!
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