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i love learning about things a week late through youtube recommendations from random channels i've never seen before
(bad grammar and typos cause i'm shooting my shot as fast as possible so I can get back to Important Adult Stuff(TM))
i suppose i can't really gripe because i'm still largely logged out and wouldn't have heard otherwise so maybe I should take it for what it is
i know i'm a random person who writes as a hobby so I don't necessarily "owe" anything to people online, but y'all have been so sweet to me and I feel it would be unfair to keep dropping off the face of the planet like I have been, plus, I have been stewing over quite a bit of my thoughts these past few months and making a large "get all my thoughts out in a word vomit" post is a good way to A.) sort out my shit and B.) to procrastinate homework
college is BEATING MY ASS and i'm not even at the harder junior/senior year type stuff so even if my writer's block wasn't the worst it's ever been I highly doubt I would be writing anything anyway. i cannot say for certain when I'll be able to get back (it seems the universe is tailored specifically to punch me in the face whenever I have the slightest inclination to do so) but i will say it is always on my mind. i don't ever want to give up writing fully because of how many good things it's brought me but i want to be mature and say that it has taken a backseat in my life.
i still don't regret the things I've created and i will always be thankful for the experiences I've had + the friends I've made (even if we haven't talked in a while :') sorry guys) BUT this situation has just become the nail in the coffin for me in terms of what i want to do with my ds/mp and other adjacent fics. i can't say for certain what I'll go through and orphan/keep or just outright delete (WIPS/unfinished series will probably get deleted is what I've decided so far) so this is a BIG WARNING sign right here and now: if there are any ds/mp fics of mine you are fond of, please go and save them now. even if you think the one you really love is "safe" it's better to be cautious and have it yourself than hope for the best outcome.
now's a good time to mention that i have been feeling similar feelings toward my fl0wer husb4nds fics (gonna come out and be honest: i don't particularly care for sc0tt anymore, sorry) so if you like those you should also search them out. i think a hard majority if not all of them will be orphaned, so they'll still be up, but it never hurts to be able to read something while offline anyway
however, due to the aforementioned Important Adult Stuff(TM), i won't be able to get to the whole Properly deleting/orphaning process for a hot minute. that does not mean you should put off saving my fics because my brain could decide one night that i HAVE to do it IMMEDIATELY, but i can promise that it's not happening tonight (might hold off for at least a week just to give people time to see this post).
TSALP, my pride and joy, is perfectly safe and fine. when i think about whenever ill be able to write again, this series is the First thing to pop up in my mind. i have so many things i want to do with that series (and h3rmitcr4ft as a whole) that make me smile despite all that has happened surrounding mc/yt. someone will need to threaten me with death to make me even consider giving that up. hell, even taking a step back, i can say that i will never fully let go of mc/yt. i straight-up have tickets to go see tommy's america show later this month (send my dad well wishes as he's the one taking me LMAO) .
remember to drink water, take breaks, tell your friends you love them etc. I'm terrible at giving advice since I'm a bonafide mess of a person, but i will say that the best thing you can do for each other is support one another. i've always been a bigger fan of giving support to those who are hurt than trying to go and cause more pain to the people that you can argue "deserve" it. the people you care about are going to be with you much longer than the assholes, so be sure to put more energy into focusing on them than the ones that don't even deserve your scorn.
#halo be talkin#dont plan to tag this with any warnings unfortunately but i hope i left it vague enough to not be upsetting but specific enough#to know what im talking about
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉����👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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why do kids cartoons always have the best most nuanced and layered plots and characters and adult cartoons are always just “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck”
#i could list so many examples#avatar the last airbender#adventure time#gravity falls#ever after high#she ra and the princesses of power#the owl house#amphibia#steven universe#over the garden wall#infinity train#and then the adult cartoons…#i mean i dont even have to tag them you know what im talking about
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drawing deltarune every day until chapter 3&4 drop ✨(day 101)
childhood sweethearts
#deltarune#noelle holiday#kris dreemurr#utdr#weird route#snowgrave route#fanart#daily deltarune#blood tw#kriselle#<- if you want it to be. the idea i was trying to get across is that before noelle actually understood what romance or marriage was#as a kid she just was like ''well i would marry kris bcuz they're my best friend ^_^''#also ive always been interested in the idea that these two were sort of always ''expected'' to get together. like not FORCED to#but their parents would always comment on how well they got along and would kind of assume they might start dating eventually#like yknow. the whole thing of our families are friends so wouldnt it be cute if our kids got together and tied us together??#ive having difficulty wording it but i hope you know what im talking about lmao#1k#2k#3k#edit: THIS IS NOT ABOUT CISHET STOP SAYING THAT!!! KRIS IS NOT A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Oh english is absolutely not his first language.
#Ryunosuke and Phoenix's first day court sillies: I don't know what a court record is! :3 I'm just a little guy!#Apollo first day court sillies: If anyone finds out Im not a native english speaker I will simply have to Murder them#i KNOW they didnt know he was an immigrant when they made this game. Thats why its SO COOL so much of it stil scans and supports later canon#my partner and I were playing together and just talking about how.#he grew up in a mountain shack surrounded by army guys. he KNOWS HOW TO PLAY POKER. He just has no idea what the hands are called in ENGLISH#spk plays apollo justice#ace attorney#apollo justice#apollo justice ace attorney#aa
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Hi, feel free to take my new uquiz to discover what kind of vampire you are!
#NO IM NOT TALKING ABOUT CHESS THE MUSICAL I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS. I AM TALKING ABOUT THE ANCIENT BOARD GAME:CHESS#uquiz#vampires#twilight#because let's be honest there are a fair few references#and maybe this is my twilight quiz which has been in my drafts for nearly a year!#and i was tired of it sitting there#maybe!#quiz#werewolves#mention#you can get human in this im really sorry#it's a bit of a mean result#oh if anyone has an actual picture of the vampire that killed dean winchester please send it along#i could not find it with a cursory google search but i rememeber he wore a clown mask#so maybe one of those guys is the guy?
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when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess
#book 22#im verh drunk#hi#greatest hits#not really sure why this one resonated. are u all ok#is everyone just at the shiva#yall need to stop saying you arent gonna eat then in the tags#i love that a lot of you are getting beautiful things out of this#but some of yall need to know i wrote this while incredibly drunk#this isnt meant to be all that deep this is just shitty iliad posting#more comments like this is just judaism. surprise surprise im jewish#but again this isnt about sitting shiva#this is me drunk talking about the last 3 books of the iliad#idk what to tell u man#legendary warrior
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*after Odysseus and Athena are reunited*
Athena: oh, one last thing. I promised Ares that you will kill every visitor in your castle
Odysseus: oook? Why though?
Athena: they punched your son and called your wife a tramp while trying to marry her
Odysseus:
Athena:
Odysseus: *deep voice* bring it
#i know later it gets worse with telemachus#but im working with the information officialy released#and yes athena is safe and sound#the end of god games? dont know what your talking about#epic the musical#epic the wisdom saga#epic odysseus#epic athena#epic telemachus#epic penelope
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posting across the targetverse here bc it did numbers on twitter
#across the spiderverse#spiderverse#miguel o'hara#hobie brown#im posting my art here from now onnnnn#maybe ill make a sideblog thats art only who knows.#bastardibujando#< thats my art tag btw. no i dont remeber what it was before so whatever art i have posted here is gone forever#hi for the love of god hello anyone wanna talk about spiderverse.#og post
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genuinely is my brain erasing itself or is google/tumblr censoring that post about notre dame and old growth forests.
#i know we joke about tumblr's (lack of) search function#but at some point this is surely (less) passive (more) aggressive#(particularly against people with memory issues...is this. is this gaslighting.#am i. am i being GASLIGHTED. by a social media platform who isn't even my PARENT???)#that post is ingrained in my memory but google image is flirting and fwirling its fan 'haha! you're so cute! and Imagining Things. Dear :-)#i have Looked okay! i've looked! and i've looked for a SEVERAL DOZEN POSTS before this after talking To People...and behold!#...this last year or two i *genuinely* can't find posts 4 out of 5 times.#what the COOL GELITAN FUCK is going on#geletan#gel#GELTAIN#GELA--im so scared right now#so tired#GELITAN#what the chilled gelitan fuck is going on#update: i Am being gaslit just not about the spelling of gelly-thing#i'm both stupid AND being gaslit. these things! can! coexist! *sad clapping*
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I love Tumblr because there are so many aro, ace and aroace people in here. It's like going to a supermarket and seeing a bunch of strangers buying the thing that only you enjoy out of everyone in the town you live in. And everyone buying it enjoys it too and it's so, so cool and it makes me really happy every time I see people with the aro, ace and aroace in their description
#aro#ace#aroace#aromantic#aromantism#asexual#asexuality#aspec#i don't know if it's description or not but im calling it that and I hope that the people who see this know what im talking about#arospec
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alright my dearest and humblest most sincere brother, imperator of this sleep-nurse tumblr dot come popolus. the time has come
it was either in two business days or the last ask you receive determines it
its the time. unearth to everyones eyes the body pillow of dr welcome smile corporation creation. i will await with open arms. god fucking damknit why does it have to be when i cant spa m relbog ts cus my phone is on charge
sigh. welp. you guys asked for it. I TOLD YALL ITS CRINGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM NOT LYING WHEN I SAY ITS CRINGE fuck my stupid life
feel free to kill me now
i need my amisulpride
#im not tagging this im just gonna say im extremely disappointed. in you all. why does this happen to me#WHY DO I HAVE TO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!UORTHIDLYJKNDE5RIKO8O89YRU5EDOIKJH890H999H9H9H9H9H9H9H99RG#and before anyone asks why i made this yes my brother asked for it. the same person responsible for all this purge#the same person in this ask. yes you. reginaldubel. im talking about you#my number 1 biggest hater since 2017 or something l#honestly the worst case scenario would be tumblr nuking me for this but i dont think its that bad#you guys are free to throw rocks at my house#also its midnight. right now. and im doing this shit#and im supposed to go to school tomorrow#you know what........................whatever...............i dont think im opening tumblr after this one#you guys have no idea how hard it was to click the ''post now'' button
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They are so divorced it's crazy.
#my art#ninjago#lego ninjago#lego ninjago fanart#lloyd garmadon#ninjago lloyd#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago ras#ras#lord ras#ninjago lord ras#ninjago dragon rising ras#ninjago fanart#ras x lloyd#lloyd x ras#wildlifeshipping#greencat#SORRY TO ALL OF THOSE WHO FOLLOWED ME FOR OTHER LLOYD SHIPS LOL#I just think abt them alot#their dynamic is just so fun in my head#LIKE#okay imma rant abt these two in here idc#they are on different sides and don't have the same goal#but in a way they respect eachother as fighters#THAT BEING SAID.#They want eachother FR FR IJADSDOJA#im crazy#NAH THE WAY LLOYD TALKS ABOUT RAS IN HIS LITTLE DIARY???#I know what you want#also someone help them split the custody
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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its not my fault i keep playing against Daniel Day-Lewis mfs
#ive got 160+ hours as medic....i know what im doing but some spies are actually just brilliant actors and play in a non meta way#and im so busy keeping your arse alive that if they're going full method on the team - i heal them!#the amount of times people have given out at me is crazy....you didnt spot them either bruv#im not talking about those two times i ubered an enemy spy....corner of shame#ty for the 5k lads#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#tf2#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavy so annoyed he lives through 3 backstabs to yell
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''But aromantics can still date-'' we can also beat you to death. do you want us to beat you to death?
[THIS POST IS ABOUT AROMANTICISM. DO NOT DETAIL. PLEASE VRO IM SO TIRED]
This post has been edited to come off as less hostile. Just don't start any drama or beef and we'll be chill! :3
The people in the notes are honestly so based help (yapping under cut)
Main reason I edited this is because I don't want alloromantics to start beefing with me or make this post about them but honestly if you can't respect aromantics you can go fuck yourself and find a different post because that's what this post is about :)
The fact that we CAN date doesn't mean we SHOULD/HAVE TO
The aros who want to date do (live your truth, partnering aros :3), and the ones that don't? News flash, THEY DON'T! :)
Love isn't what makes us human, and dehumanizing aromantics just because they don't feel romantic attraction is gross, and you shouldn't feel the need to jUsTiFy our existence by saying that we can date.
#aromantic#aro#aro experience#aromanticism#btw i know this is common sense but dont go attacking the person im talking about. even if what they said was really shitty lmfao
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