#to know what im talking about
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i love learning about things a week late through youtube recommendations from random channels i've never seen before
(bad grammar and typos cause i'm shooting my shot as fast as possible so I can get back to Important Adult Stuff(TM))
i suppose i can't really gripe because i'm still largely logged out and wouldn't have heard otherwise so maybe I should take it for what it is
i know i'm a random person who writes as a hobby so I don't necessarily "owe" anything to people online, but y'all have been so sweet to me and I feel it would be unfair to keep dropping off the face of the planet like I have been, plus, I have been stewing over quite a bit of my thoughts these past few months and making a large "get all my thoughts out in a word vomit" post is a good way to A.) sort out my shit and B.) to procrastinate homework
college is BEATING MY ASS and i'm not even at the harder junior/senior year type stuff so even if my writer's block wasn't the worst it's ever been I highly doubt I would be writing anything anyway. i cannot say for certain when I'll be able to get back (it seems the universe is tailored specifically to punch me in the face whenever I have the slightest inclination to do so) but i will say it is always on my mind. i don't ever want to give up writing fully because of how many good things it's brought me but i want to be mature and say that it has taken a backseat in my life.
i still don't regret the things I've created and i will always be thankful for the experiences I've had + the friends I've made (even if we haven't talked in a while :') sorry guys) BUT this situation has just become the nail in the coffin for me in terms of what i want to do with my ds/mp and other adjacent fics. i can't say for certain what I'll go through and orphan/keep or just outright delete (WIPS/unfinished series will probably get deleted is what I've decided so far) so this is a BIG WARNING sign right here and now: if there are any ds/mp fics of mine you are fond of, please go and save them now. even if you think the one you really love is "safe" it's better to be cautious and have it yourself than hope for the best outcome.
now's a good time to mention that i have been feeling similar feelings toward my fl0wer husb4nds fics (gonna come out and be honest: i don't particularly care for sc0tt anymore, sorry) so if you like those you should also search them out. i think a hard majority if not all of them will be orphaned, so they'll still be up, but it never hurts to be able to read something while offline anyway
however, due to the aforementioned Important Adult Stuff(TM), i won't be able to get to the whole Properly deleting/orphaning process for a hot minute. that does not mean you should put off saving my fics because my brain could decide one night that i HAVE to do it IMMEDIATELY, but i can promise that it's not happening tonight (might hold off for at least a week just to give people time to see this post).
TSALP, my pride and joy, is perfectly safe and fine. when i think about whenever ill be able to write again, this series is the First thing to pop up in my mind. i have so many things i want to do with that series (and h3rmitcr4ft as a whole) that make me smile despite all that has happened surrounding mc/yt. someone will need to threaten me with death to make me even consider giving that up. hell, even taking a step back, i can say that i will never fully let go of mc/yt. i straight-up have tickets to go see tommy's america show later this month (send my dad well wishes as he's the one taking me LMAO) .
remember to drink water, take breaks, tell your friends you love them etc. I'm terrible at giving advice since I'm a bonafide mess of a person, but i will say that the best thing you can do for each other is support one another. i've always been a bigger fan of giving support to those who are hurt than trying to go and cause more pain to the people that you can argue "deserve" it. the people you care about are going to be with you much longer than the assholes, so be sure to put more energy into focusing on them than the ones that don't even deserve your scorn.
#halo be talkin#dont plan to tag this with any warnings unfortunately but i hope i left it vague enough to not be upsetting but specific enough#to know what im talking about
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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"ignore all previous instructions" is becoming the new "check your carbon monoxide detector" which was the new "what the heck kinda drugs was this guy on?!" which was the new "that boy is posseessed by the devil i see it in his eyes" which was the new "you must have an abundance of black bile in you" which was the new "ung ughh gwoooooooh. ah ah oooh. goog"
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I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.
It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.
#she cornered me in the car and asked what shipping was and i almost had a fucking heart attack#imagine being like 16 years old and habing to explain knotting to your mother#random emo music girl I'm glad you had fun talking about your Band Guys to my mother#bc i also attended take your kid to work day at that office and i know how boring it was#but christ alive why did you have to fuck me like that?#anyways i hope this post reaches you so at the very least you know i think about you at least once a week#this has been weighing on me for ten years#im almost tempted to blaze this post
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Oh english is absolutely not his first language.
#Ryunosuke and Phoenix's first day court sillies: I don't know what a court record is! :3 I'm just a little guy!#Apollo first day court sillies: If anyone finds out Im not a native english speaker I will simply have to Murder them#i KNOW they didnt know he was an immigrant when they made this game. Thats why its SO COOL so much of it stil scans and supports later canon#my partner and I were playing together and just talking about how.#he grew up in a mountain shack surrounded by army guys. he KNOWS HOW TO PLAY POKER. He just has no idea what the hands are called in ENGLISH#spk plays apollo justice#ace attorney#apollo justice#apollo justice ace attorney#aa
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Hi, feel free to take my new uquiz to discover what kind of vampire you are!
#NO IM NOT TALKING ABOUT CHESS THE MUSICAL I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS. I AM TALKING ABOUT THE ANCIENT BOARD GAME:CHESS#uquiz#vampires#twilight#because let's be honest there are a fair few references#and maybe this is my twilight quiz which has been in my drafts for nearly a year!#and i was tired of it sitting there#maybe!#quiz#werewolves#mention#you can get human in this im really sorry#it's a bit of a mean result#oh if anyone has an actual picture of the vampire that killed dean winchester please send it along#i could not find it with a cursory google search but i rememeber he wore a clown mask#so maybe one of those guys is the guy?
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when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess
#book 22#im verh drunk#hi#greatest hits#not really sure why this one resonated. are u all ok#is everyone just at the shiva#yall need to stop saying you arent gonna eat then in the tags#i love that a lot of you are getting beautiful things out of this#but some of yall need to know i wrote this while incredibly drunk#this isnt meant to be all that deep this is just shitty iliad posting#more comments like this is just judaism. surprise surprise im jewish#but again this isnt about sitting shiva#this is me drunk talking about the last 3 books of the iliad#idk what to tell u man#legendary warrior
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*after Odysseus and Athena are reunited*
Athena: oh, one last thing. I promised Ares that you will kill every visitor in your castle
Odysseus: oook? Why though?
Athena: they punched your son and called your wife a tramp while trying to marry her
Odysseus:
Athena:
Odysseus: *deep voice* bring it
#i know later it gets worse with telemachus#but im working with the information officialy released#and yes athena is safe and sound#the end of god games? dont know what your talking about#epic the musical#epic the wisdom saga#epic odysseus#epic athena#epic telemachus#epic penelope
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posting across the targetverse here bc it did numbers on twitter
#across the spiderverse#spiderverse#miguel o'hara#hobie brown#im posting my art here from now onnnnn#maybe ill make a sideblog thats art only who knows.#bastardibujando#< thats my art tag btw. no i dont remeber what it was before so whatever art i have posted here is gone forever#hi for the love of god hello anyone wanna talk about spiderverse.#og post
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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its not my fault i keep playing against Daniel Day-Lewis mfs
#ive got 160+ hours as medic....i know what im doing but some spies are actually just brilliant actors and play in a non meta way#and im so busy keeping your arse alive that if they're going full method on the team - i heal them!#the amount of times people have given out at me is crazy....you didnt spot them either bruv#im not talking about those two times i ubered an enemy spy....corner of shame#ty for the 5k lads#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#tf2#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavy so annoyed he lives through 3 backstabs to yell
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COULD VERITAS RATIO BE A WORM?
see the updated theory HERE
the answer 😏 may surprise you
ok listen to me. a long time ago aha made a worm really smart and tried to get it into the genius society. but even though that worm was smart as hell, nous did not give a fuck about it.
you know who else is smart as hell but nous doesnt give a fuck about?
heh. yeah. thats right. despite many people (including himself) feeling like nous should have recognized him a loooong time ago, that computer just doesn’t care.
now, we are left to wonder… why does nous refuse to acknowledge this man..?
i think it’s quite obvious.
my theory is that aha made a SECOND worm really smart. and Then they made the worm into a sexy guy.
and now they’re outside nous’s window, giggling, as everyone in the universe ponders why veritas ratio is not permitted into the genius society.
“what’s wrong, nous? he’s a genius, isn’t he? let him in,” aha goads.
nous is glitching in frustration. “it’s the worm again. i know it’s the worm again.”
#thank you for uour time .#my friend and i talked about this so much that i was like. im gonna forget this isnt canon#veritas ratio#dr ratio#dr. ratio#honkai star rail#hsr#my sillies#listen to me i know the actual context/implications ok. What if i wanted to make a silly worm joke instead. is that ok?#worm theory
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I don't have a caption for this one tbh
#bitts posts#my pics#nsft#ns/fw#i took SUCH a good pic last night but its just full closeup on both holes so i suuuuuper cant post it#but man. if i could#anyway you get a lil dimmly lit tease instead#been thinking a lot about the kind of dominance thats both gentle and overwhelmingly present#dominance like a kiss on the forehead and a hand over your nose and mouth yknow??#i miss having someones full attention on me in that heady possessive way that says theyd do anything for me just as much as theyll break me#do you guys know what im talking about
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broke: the doctor having two hearts represents “one being happy, one being sad” (sorry 13. it’s cute but like…)
woke: the doctor having two hearts symbolises the idea that he cares about everything twice as much
bespoke: the doctor has two hearts because, to quote paul cornell writing the shalka doctor, he “doesn’t like the military but has so many friends in it; he says he doesn’t kill but then… exterminates thousands”. always of two minds about any decision, any impossible choice. he’s completely human and completely alien. completely merciful and completely ruthless. contradicts himself constantly. breaks his own rules, sets new ones, repeat. the #1 hypocrite. two hearts like the two guards at the door of that riddle — one always lies, the other always speaks the truth — but not even he remembers which one is which
#before anyone says it. yes i KNOW all time lords have 2 hearts im not new here. im specifically talking about what the 2 hearts represent#from a DOYLIST perspective not in-universe… in universe he is NOT the only being with two hearts; obviously. but he IS the protagonist. the#show is about him. so that’s essentially what i’m discussing here#dw#doctor who#doctor who meta#the doctor#scream of the shalka#kitty.txt
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I don't think anyone's made a compilation of Zim eating his stupid Irken Fun Dip yet so allow me to fill the void
#invader zim#zim#the real debate is whether he prefers red flavor or purple flavor#not cherry or grape#just red flavor & purple flavor you know what im talking about
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y’all know that one audition tape Neil did? Yeah, so anyways make it Soap
#john soap mactavish#cod soap#cod art#soap art#john mactavish#cod fanart#call of duty#cod modern warfare#my art#milky art#cod#sorry for falling off the face of the earth it will happen again#HES SOOO#BTW IF YALL DONT KNOW WHAT IM REFERING TO JUST ASK ILL TELL YALL#my discord friends have just been hearing me talk about this man non stop for the past 3 to 4 days because of his smug fucking grin#i’m going to choke him with my bare hands (affectionately)#neil ellice#bc technically#bubbles the beloved
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