#tim has no defense

[thebiggestwildcard]

:)

𝘽𝙧𝙪𝙘𝙚: You three, explain right now!

𝙅𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣: It was Tim.

𝘿𝙞𝙘𝙠: It was Tim.

𝘿𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙖𝙣: It was Tim.

𝙏𝙞𝙢:

𝙏𝙞𝙢: . . . In my defense-

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

Bruce Wayne can never win small arguments with Jason Todd

Bruce: You can't just steal my car, crash it and leave it there with a note saying "Belongs to Bruce Wayne!"

Jason: Sorry man, my brain doesn't work good at times, being dead and then revived at random does that to you. I made it out of that accident alive though, unlike last time.

Dick Grayson: Point Jason.

Bruce: ...Um, okay fair point, but you can't just use my credit card to buy nothing but books on eBay!

Jason: They were self help books... About loss and grief and betrayal.

Dick: Two points, Jason

Bruce shakes annoyed.

Bruce: Hm! Fair. Point.

Jason: Would you like to try again?

Bruce: Okay, you can't just shoot a criminal and leave them for dead.

Dick Grayson slowly laughs and then bursts into laughter, falling to the floor.

Dick: Jason wins!

Jason: Do I even need to say anything?

Bruce: Nope, nope, nope.

Dick continues laughing.

[mistergreatbones]

Dick Grayson, age nine, looking up at Clark with blue eyes that promise death warning, “Batman’s best friend is Robin. Not Superman.”

[fox-guardian]

time for some assorted stoker swap au excerpts in no particular order because i need to share this thing in some capacity so bad. i might've shared some of these before but i Don't Care it's been months anyway

[ID: A series of snippets of a google doc in dark mode.

"Bone app-the-tea,"

After much hesitation involving pacing his room and making jokingly threatening faces and gestures at the screen and quoting vines at it to calm his nerves, he finally pressed the apply button with a yelp.

Two hours and one dramatic reading of some awful werewolf fiction later,

He was surprised. He was delighted. He was very likely fucked.

Danny looked up at him guiltily with the bucket of popcorn resting on his stomach. ".... I have good news and bad news." Tim's face fell as he straightened up. "What have you done?" "Good news and arguably bad news, depending on your personal thoughts on it," he elaborated, standing up, still holding his popcorn. "I repeat," Tim said, pressing his palms together and pointing at him, "what have you done?"

"Either way, I can't imagine the whole staff is wearing corsets and hoop skirts." ".... That'd be pretty cool though." "It would be, actually."

A resting bitch face is all it was, that's alright. He lived with a guy with a resting bitch face, this was fine.

Danny thought for a moment. "I.... have a background in urban exploration. Would that be useful?" Jon and Sasha looked at each other, and then looked at him. "That would be very useful," Jon said, with an air of curiosity to his tone. "Very, very useful," Sasha added, grinning mischievously. "Hey, he's my partner now," Jon said, jabbing a finger at her. "I get to go out in the field with him first."

"Sounds like I didn't die in Artefact Storage," Sasha replied.

"I'm an adult," Danny said, sipping from his novelty beehive mug.

Next thing he knew his back was hurting and he was upside down on the floor

".... Danny, did you-" "I might've gotten some light carbon monoxide poisoning in the attic." "Danny!" Tim sat upright, setting his mug down.

"Then fuck 'em,"

"Then, I repeat, fuck 'em."

"You all deserve it~" Danny said, blending his natural nerves into the false face of a fidgety fanatic.

"Yeah.... " Danny says, forever changed.

Danny tried to dream up as much mental eyebleach as possible. Kitty cats and puppy doges and bees half stuck in flowers, kitty cats and puppy dogs and bees half stuck in flowers. This was going to be fun to tell Tim about tonight.

end ID]

~~~~

also the current working titles for the chapters i have so far!

1 - some wednesday night in august 2013 2 - how to ace a job interview 3 - *spongebob voice* IM READY IM READY 4 - field work 5 - another day another dollar 6 - stakeout!

this update isn't much but i thought it'd be fun to share some stuff out of context :) and hopefully it motivates me to write even more lol

[spacedace]

@proshipper-on-ship​ thank you for the Dick & Dan idea you added to my other post, please enjoy some of the fall out your comment resulted in haha

“So,” Bruce tried, looking hesitantly pleased at the surprisingly light atmosphere around the table. “Anything new and exciting going on with anyone?”

There was a smattering of answers from around the table. Jason didn’t offer anything - which wasn’t surprising, that he was even there and largely not starting a fight was more than enough as far as Dick was concerned - but with some ribbing from Steph, Tim eventually admitted to finally asking that boy he’d been interested in out. Dick joined in on teasing his little brother - and even Jay gave, for him, some gentle ribbing over finally getting the balls to do something, eh Timberland? - while very carefully avoiding mentioning his own sorta-kinda thing with Dan in Bludhaven. He’d deal with his siblings making him miserable and embarrassed over it all when he actually scored a date with him thanks very much.

Things were going good.

And then Damian cleared his throat, looking imperious and uninterested at the same time as he waited for everyone to turn to look at him.

“I have an announcement on an alteration to my personal life.” He declared, chin up and looking like he was already over this whole family-bonding-time thing, which was fair. Damian had gotten better over the years, but he was still not exactly the cute and cuddly little brother. Dick still had the scar from the last time he tried to hug Dami without warning a year ago and got stabbed for the effort. Still, he was sharing, willingly even! That’s progress!

At the head of the table Bruce tilted his head, looking as cautiously hopeful as Dick felt over the youngest Wayne actually offering to share something personal. “Have you decided on what college you want to go to then?”

“No.” Dami dismissed easily, without more than a glance in Bruce’s direction. “Night and I have decided to take some time to travel before continuing any further schooling.”

Huh, honestly, Dick was kinda surprised. With how much of a perfectionist Dami was, he’d thought he’d throw himself into college with the same ferocious, competitive drive he did everything else. But then again, if Elle Nightingale was going to be taking a gap year or two, it wasn’t as if it was that much of a surprise that Dami would go and join her.

The two gremlins had been practically inseparable since they were twelve and discovered a shared love of stabbing people and adopting every animal they see. If Dami’s best friend was going to go gallivanting across the world like she always dreamed of doing, Dick couldn’t actually be that  surprised that Dami would be going with her.

Dick took a sip of his drink as Dami opened his mouth to continue with what was probably going to be to most people the world’s most harrowing game of “how many incredibly dangerous animals can we see before we end up dead on our gap year” that the two demons were undoubtedly planning.

He regretted taking that sip almost immediately as Damian said, “Night and I took our marital vows yesterday. She sends her regrets that she was unable to join us for family dinner tonight.”

Predictably, the room broke out into utter chaos.

Dick choked on his drink, spraying across the table and splattering Babs with a shower of wine. She didn’t even seem to notice, dropping her own glass as she snapped her head over to stare at Damian, the sound of breaking glass and a deep red stain pooling across the table following as she did. At the end of the table, Jay made a noise like a dying goose as the samosa he’d just popped in his mouth threatened to kill him. Cass, perhaps the most outwardly calm at the proclamation, only stared with wide eyes at her younger brother as she hit Jason on the back in an attempt to make sure he didn’t die.

Dick could practically hear the old shrieking AOL dial up noise that was Tim’s brain attempting to process what his little brother had just said, while sitting next to him Steph gave a small shriek of you what? Duke’s head was on a swivel, eyes darting from Damian, to another family member, to Damian and back again as if unsure who to even look at in the moment.

Bruce just…stared, frozen in place, face caught in the most open look of shock Dick thinks the man has ever shown in his life.

---

Damian sniffed and cast a caustic look towards - of all people - Jason, “Unlike some people, I share my good news with the family in a timely manner.”

Jay sputtered, “You know what, fuck you! Fine, you want me to share the news?” Jay snapped his head towards the rest of them. “Jazz is pregnant, baby is due next month on the sixth. Baby shower’s next weekend at Robinson Park, show up or don’t, I really don’t give a fuck.”

Or maybe he was just going to try to kill them with a heart attack.

“What the fuck?!”

“Language!”

“Who the fuck is Jazz?!”

“Language!”

“Night’s elder sister and guardian, Drake, keep up. You should know this, you’re dating her brother.”

“I’m what?”

“And Grayson is having flirtations with her other brother.”

“Dan is Elle’s older brother? Wait - how do you know about that?”

“Todd and I are in the Nightingale family group chat. We have endured far too much waxing poet about your posterior over the past months.”

“Why do they all have variations of the same name? Who gives all their children the same name?”

“He likes my ass?”

“Oh my god, bigger picture Dick, focus.”

“Seriously, do they all have the same name outside of the older sister? I feel like we need to acknowledge they all have the same name.”

“Can we go back to the fact that Damian got married? To Elle? Yesterday? How did you even do that without anyone knowing?

“Dr. Nightingale is a notary.”

“...Dr. Nightingale as in the woman Bruce is investigating Dr. Nightingale?”

“Okay but the name thing? Please tell me you’re not naming the baby some variation of the name Daniel.”

“If the gremlins get their way it will be. Do you know how many lists we’ve made that they keep sabotaging?”

“So you have Dan’s number? Could you give it to me?”

“Jesus Christ, Dick I’m begging you.”

“Why did you guys even get married?”

“For the diplomatic immunity.”

“You don’t have diplomatic immunity.”

“I do now.”

“What does that mean?”

[dc-said-bi-robin-rights]

Another night in Titans Tower. Another night Cassie finds Rose up at an ungodly hour, making herself coffee at a time where anyone else would be dead asleep.

Cassie leans against the doorway, watching Rose murmur grumpily to herself as she tries to to tear open the coffee pod packets without breaking them. For once, she seems so engrossed in her task that she hasn’t noticed Cassie. Or maybe she’s just letting Cassie think that for… reasons. Maybe.

She isn’t sure what to make of Rose these days. She and the white-haired daughter of Deathstroke had established something of a tentative peace following their fifth hookup… a tentative peace that had grown into something like domestic bliss in the months since her return to the team. She didn’t think it would be possible for anything about Rose to feel so comfortable, but…

She isn’t even sure what to call them now. They haven’t really been rivals since Eddie’s death, but they certainly aren’t friends. And yet…

Cassie has held Rose through her night terrors more than once. She’s stumbled upon the secret crate of plushies Rose keeps behind a hidden panel in her closet and knows that they were gifts from Rose’s mother before her death, recovered by Slade’s manservant of all people as part of a hopeless attempt at reconciling his friend and his daughter. She’s accompanied Rose to AA meetings, she’s driven her to her dentist’s appointments, she’s even taken her out on dates to the movie theater or to that one shaved ice cream shop near Titans Tower that everyone on the team seems to like. Cassie knows Rose. She knows every curve of her hip, every bulging muscle, every thin white scar. She’s seen Rose at her smuggest and at her most flustered, at her flirtiest and at her most withdrawn, at her meanest and at her best. She knows Rose. Really knows her, as far as anyone can claim to really know Rose Wilson. She’s seen beneath the aggression and the snark to catch real, genuine glimpses at the person beneath, and has done so with some regularity for months now. So why is it so hard to figure what they are?

They haven’t talked about it. Maybe they should. Maybe—

Coffee powder flies everywhere as Rose rips open the pod in her hands a little too hard, scattering flecks of grounded coffee all over the floor of the kitchen. Rose curses beneath her breath—then again, more audibly this time, just for good measure—and begins brushing it off the countertop with one hand while the other cups beneath the edge of it to catch it as it falls. Cassie just watches, waiting until Rose is almost done to reveal herself.

“Nice mess you’ve made here, Rose.”

Rose doesn’t even look at her. Maybe she knew she was there all along. Maybe she didn’t, and is just pretending. It’s so hard to tell with Rose, sometimes, what’s real and what’s just pretending. “Oh, buzz off.” She finishes clearing the powder off the countertop and gets on her hands and knees to scoop up the flecks of coffee on the floor, presenting two large, round targets that are just too tempting to ignore. “You gonna stand there all night or are you gonna help me—”

Cassie can’t help it. She takes two steps forward and smacks her not-girlfriend right on the ass, cutting her off mid-sentence. Rose pauses, turning to look at Cassie with a raised eyebrow.

“Was it my imagination or did you just slap my ass?”

Cassie bites her lip, trying to stifle a grin. “I guess I did. Was it too much?”

Rose stands up, very calmly wiping her hands on her shirt—one of Cassie’s, a long red shirt with a Wonder Woman logo on it that is jut a bit oversized on her—before stepping towards Cassie, a smirk pulling at her lips. “Not really.”

And with that, she steps forward and pulls Cassie into a long, hungry kiss.

Maybe, Cassie reflects, a hand coming up to tangle into Rose’s tousled morning curls, being Rose’s girlfriend wouldn’t be the worst thing.

[alternis]

my awful brain coming out of nowhere to throw third eye thoughts at me. i see a good meta and my brain goes "hey, you know this means in third eye au-"

[silverwhittlingknife]

very important announcement: new @birdchildsnest fic!!!

[beeapocalypse]

the scene where jon and basira do improvised surgery on melanie while she is asleep. insert that image of the dog sitting in a chair looking mortified

[radmista]

jesus fuck i feel bad for your poor girlfriend. just tell her you're a radfem

My gf knows I hold radical feminist views. Even before we've dated, I've talked openly and loudly about female liberation and sex based oppression, abortion access, hookup culture making young teens think theyre abnormal for not craving sex at 15, my thoughts on shaving, etc. She's even told me that talking about these things has helped her not feel the compulsion to shave her arms anymore.

She knows I'm a feminist and that I have radical views. The only thing I've never explicitly stated is that I'm gender critical of the trans movement as well (bc in general, this is social suicide and I have a career I want to protect). I have spoken about my gender critical views, I just don't call them that in conversation. Like I've ranted about the usage of terms like "boy clothes" and "boymode" to describe comfortable lounge clothing and that clothing has no gender. We've even debated about single sex spaces and even talked about JKR's funding of Beira's place. Like shockingly, we can disagree on things and still be together.

Idk what the point of your message really was. Is it "your poor gf" bc I complain about her very gendie/tumblr-q***r viewpoints? Or do you feel bc I'm a radfem it makes me a bad partner and that my gf is suffering by being partnered with me? I love her and want the best for her, but it doesn't stop me from being frustrated when she supports a movement that infringes on womens rights. I feel like I'm allowed to complain on my personal feminist tumblr about that lol

[clambuoyance]

[DC] kon: has one (1) adventure with tim

kon: robin my best friend robin. did i mention we're besties

(+ meme ver)

based on this panel from superboy and the ravers #8. i just think its funny that hes going around telling people this (after only having just met tim in wf3 and he also only just met bart in the prev issue so this is pre-yj), only to struggle to become robins friend in the early yj comics. in his defense, tims like one of the first friends his age he met at the time. also double funny because this is from the "batman and robin are urban myths" era so like. they never believed him in the first place.

[galaxymagitech]

When Batfamily members break the no-kill rule…

Bruce: Well, technically… *insert very poor explanation of why it doesn’t count*

Dick: *has a mental breakdown and becomes Deathstroke’s apprentice* Huh? Oh, everything’s fine.

Jason: So what if I did? I’m proud of it! *begins 4-hour-long rant about the Joker*

Tim: …no I didn’t. *cue blatant gaslighting*

Damian: I had no choice. It was self-defense! (It was not.)

Duke: I had no choice. It was self-defense! (It actually was.)

Barbara: Can’t prove it. *destroys evidence*

Cass: I will dedicate my life to saving others as penance. Actually, that sounds pretty hard. Hey, Mom, wanna spar?

Steph: What’s a rule?

[mkarchin713]

DC x DP Prompt: Sticky Note

Poor sleep deprived Danny has been kidnapped by the Joker.

In the goons defense they thought only Tim Drake would fall for the old “hey kid you wanna have some Death Wish Coffee, just hop into our scary murder van” trick.

Joker was not exactly happy his goons grabbed the wrong black haired, blue eyed, sleep deprived college aged kid.

After shooting one of his goons Joker had calmed down enough to accept this was a lemons and lemonade situation.

He had the plexiglass tubes set up to fill with acid at a moments notice and his other goons were on their way with Red Robin. He could make whole “choose who dies, your bird or your lovers kid” ploy workout even if he used a random civilian. He just puts a blindfold and mouth gag on the civilian and look, instant Tim Drake.

Joker had to admit to Curly’s corpse that at least he kidnapped a Tim Drake lookalike who was so out of it already they didn’t even need to drug or threaten him. All the kid did was mumble something about fruitloops and fell asleep in the tube.

Now all Joker had to do was wait for Red Robin to get here.

…

Everything had been going so smoothly.

The brats were in the tubes, the live stream was up and running, and Batsy looked ready to tear his head off.

Unfortunately Harry just had to interrupt his monologue. Apparently there was a problem with “Tim Drakes” tube.

It was empty.

…. It was Empty!!?!

Well not entirely empty.

On the inside of the tube was a little green sticky note

I got bored so I left 😜

He got bored!?

Joker had bored him!?

Joker would not take this lying down.

He would find that kid and show him just how exciting he could be.

Right after Batman stopped punching him.

[totally-here]

3 times Phantom's Guardian was Mentioned + 1 Time He Showed Up

One

Phantom’s introduction to Young Justice wasn’t as dramatic as Empress’ or Slobo’s, or even Arrowette’s first introduction to the cave. No, it wasn’t during the Olympics, or on a battlefield, and he didn’t come in injured and looking for help. 

Impulse just brought Phantom in one day and insisted that he should join because he’s their age, interested in justice, and now that Greta’s human again they need another ghost member. So Phantom stayed, popping in and out for missions but never really sticking around all that long. 

Today is one of the days that Phantom’s with them on a mission, that being looking around a lab of the Brain’s that had an energy surge recently, despite it being presumably abandoned. 

Kon got paired up with Phantom to check the rest out first, since they both have better hearing than Anita and Tim, who were both still in the main room working on checking the computers for previous activity. 

The room is dark except for the light green ball glowing slightly above Phantom’s hand. He waves it around enough for it to reflect off of glass, then throws it up to the ceiling. The light expands enough to illuminate the room. 

Phantom mumbles about not knowing he could do that. Kon ignores him and moves closer to inspect the glass tubes to the side of several monitors set up. 

“Looks like cloning equipment,” Phantom says, casually. He drags a finger through the dust gathering on one of the monitors. “Don’t think they’ve been activated recently, though, so that’s good.”

“What? You got a problem with clones or something?” It’s a quick and defensive answer, and Phantom puts his hands up in surrender. 

“Not in concept.” He shrugs and joins Kon near the tubes. “But not a lot of people ask before making clones.”

“So I don’t need to sic Superman on you?” Obviously Kon could chew Phantom out himself, but few can do a “not mad, just disappointed” face better than Clark. 

Phantom scrunches his face. “Why would you need to?” 

Kon stops pretending to inspect the tube and stares at Phantom. “You do know I’m a clone, right?” The blank look on Phantom’s face tells him that no, he did not. “Well I am. Clone of Superman, though we’re pretty much brothers now.”

“Cool,” Phantom says, not a bit less friendly. He hesitates for a second before continuing, “Could I maybe ask you how you got there? Me and my clone have landed on cousins, but that was also, like, given to us by her evil dad. So.”

Phantom trails off. Huh, that makes three members of the team that have been cloned. Not a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened three times. 

“You’re making sure she feels accepted, right?” 

“Yeah! Well, whenever she’s around. She,” Phantom waves his hand around, looking for the right word, “She’s a wanderer. Exploring the world and stuff. But Richard has a room for her at home, and I remind her of that whenever she does stop by.” 

“Well, first of all, don’t push it so hard,” Kon says. Phantom nods enthusiastically. “And second, who’s Richard?”

Kon doesn’t know a lot of Richards, and he doesn’t think that Phantom ever mentioned one before. Or even if he remembers his living life. 

“Oh, he’s my, uh, guardian? I guess that’s the best term. The guy I’m living with who forces me to go to school sometimes.” Phantom looks away and back to the tubes. 

Before Kon can ask for more details, Robin and Empress come in with a report of dead computers and wanting to know where they’re at with the cloning room.

They’re unimpressed with their lack of progress.

Two

Wally doesn’t really need to come by the Hamilton Lodge that often, not when that’s Young Justice’s territory and he doesn’t want to get involved in all of That.

But Red Tornado said that the team has a file on a planet that’s very quickly becoming a league problem, and he figured it might be a good time to try to check in with Bart, anyway. Make sure he hasn’t run any cars off cliffs again and all that. 

So he stops by Manchester to ask Bart about the file, then they both head East to actually find it. 

When they arrive at the hotel minutes later, Wally’s surprised to actually find it… clean? There’s no visible trash or overturned furniture or anything else he’d expect from an abandoned hotel filled with teenagers. Well, maybe not filled, lately. He doesn’t think anyone’s living here currently, with Greta at Elias’ for the school year and Slobo gone. 

Still, the room smells slightly of artificial pine scent, and Bart perks up before disappearing and reappearing rapidly, holding a teammate up by his armpits. Said teammate just accepts this, his legs folding into a wispy tail, and head rolling against his shoulders. 

“This is Phantom!” Bart holds him up higher. Phantom waves. Wally’s only heard of him through Max’s updates, the same way he would hear about Preston or Carol, but with more wariness about the supposed ghost. 

Actually looking at the pale face and glowing green eyes contrasting against the darker than dark jumpsuit, Wally’s a little more ready to accept his claim at being undead. 

“He stress cleans,” Bart explains, moving to carry Phantom under his arm. Wally bites down the urge to tell him to put him down, but only because Phantom doesn’t resist the hold, only moving to get into a more comfortable position. His hands are touching the floor. “So what happened?” 

Bart directs the question downwards, and Phantom heaves a very dramatic sigh. Definitely a teenager. It does raise the question of who exactly this kid’s mentor is. Hopefully he does have one. Maybe he’s the Spectre’s kid?

Phantom phases through the arm holding him only to lay on top of Bart’s hair. “I accidentally called Richard dad. And then fled.” 

Bart nods sagely. “Classic. One time I accidentally called Max dad, so I had to start a fire to distract him.”

Phantom sighs again, almost dreamily. “Genius.” 

Wally doesn’t have time to unpack all of that. Well he does, but he’s not going to, because there’s really only one Richard that comes to mind that might have the heart to take in a dead kid, even if he doesn’t go by his full name.

But surely Dick would have told him, or any other Titan, if he had adopted a kid. Right?

But there’s still a little shadow of doubt. Maybe Dick wanted it to be a secret, or it was really new or had a rocky start. Phantom doesn’t seem to hold himself like a Bat, but it’s not a guarantee Dick would have trained him. 

“The lodge looks nice,” Wally offers out loud, which Phantom shrugs at and wraps his tail around Bart’s head to keep secure. “Anyway, Impulse. The file on Myrg?” 

“Oh yeah!” Again, Bart disappears then reappears a few seconds later with a paper file. They really need to start digitizing more of these things. “That’s the planet where we played baseball so that they wouldn’t destroy Earth!” 

“You what.” 

The prospect of Dick following in his dad’s footsteps is forgotten in the face of what the hell Young Justice got up to on Myrg. 

Three

Tim may be in a…Predicament. 

It’s not his fault. Really. He knew what he was doing. He couldn’t let a civilian fall for the trap. But they were already so close, so he just, kinda, pushed himself into the rope instead. 

So there Robin is, tied upside down in a warehouse, with the Joker below next to an overly complicated control panel. The clown’s rambling about bombs hidden all over the city that Tim knows Batman is already tracking down with Batgirl. 

Tim’s not really paying attention to the rant because of that, more focused on wiggling enough to get the spare mini-birdarang out of his glove to cut the rope without notifying the Joker. 

“Yikes, bad time?” Asks Phantom’s voice beside him. Based on the source and accounting for the slight echo, he’s floating with his head near Tim’s, likely upside down. “Want some help?” 

Tim gets the birdarang out and starts sawing at the thick rope. They should be fine anyway, but stalling the Joker for extra time would be helpful. “Can you possess the Joker? Just hold him still.”

“The correct term is overshadow, but sure.” The voice disappears, and a few seconds later the Joker freezes. 

His body jerks forward, then backward, and a laugh chokes out of his throat. His hand claws over his mouth at the noise and he hunches over. All movement halts before he rights himself, shaking out his hands and rolling his shoulders. Phantom looks up at Tim and his eyes are glowing. 

Tim cuts through the rope, kicking and using the momentum to right himself and land on his feet. He brushes past Phantom in Joker’s body to handle the control panel. He turns off the radio broadcast and dismantles the bomb strapped to the panel.

Threat handled, he turns to Phantom and holds up some handcuffs. “Let me arrest you?”

Phantom obliges, turning the Joker’s body around and putting his hands behind his back. Tim lets him walk by himself out of the warehouse and moves the handcuffs around a lamppost. The Joker’s body jerks again, then slumps forward, just as Phantom reappears next to him, scowling down at the unconscious body. 

“That felt really slimy. Zero out of ten, would not do again,” Phantom grouches. 

“Why’re you in Gotham?” Tim asks. It’s not like Phantom makes a habit of visiting. The last time he came into the city, he complained about feeling the dead under the streets. Fortunately, that let Tim uncover a few tunnels that Talons travel through. Phantom, however, was unnerved by the Talons and left quickly. 

“Oh, Solomon Grundy’s back in our sewers. Richard said I should probably tell one of you Gotham heroes, since you keep track of those guys.” He shakes out his hands like they were cramped in the Joker. 

They hadn’t seen Grundy in a while. Tim assumed he was currently in a less violent personality. “What’s he doing?” 

Phantom shrugs. “Just chilling. Mostly underground. I tried to talk to him but he only grunted back at me. He also tried to pick me up, dunno what that was about.”

“Maybe because you’re both dead?” Tim guessed. That would be a surface level connection. Ivy and Woodrue have had more luck working with Grundy than anyone, and Phantom definitely doesn’t have the connection to the Green that’d help with that. 

Police lights turn around the corner, and Tim shoots a grapple to get to the roof above them. Phantom follows, but disappears as soon as they’re on the roof. Going back home, probably. 

Cass drops down from the roof she was listening on. “Richard?”

“Not the same one.”

They both stick around long enough to watch the Joker get put into the cop car. 

Plus one

A spaceship landed in the forests of New York, and Cassie’s team was the first to respond to it. Technically not respond, but check it out, since there wasn’t any alert or anything. 

Still, Wonder Girl has Empress, Robin, and Superboy on the other side of the ship, watching what looks like the back door, while she, Impulse, and Phantom watch the other door and main window. She has binoculars, but the windows are so tinted she can’t quite make anything out. 

No aliens have come out yet, and she hesitates to have anyone go in, in case whoever inside does turn hostile. 

Impulse has offered to run through a total of five times already, and it’s a testament to his restraint that he hasn’t, and a testament to Cassie’s that she hasn’t yelled at him yet. Phantom at least isn’t being annoying, but he’s not necessarily helpful, either. He’s not even watching the spaceship anymore. Now he’s trying to make a flower crown out of dandelions. 

“Door’s opening on our side,” Robin says from the comms. “But no one’s coming out.” 

“Alright, good enough to try to get in,” Cassie decides. She turns to Phantom, who’s closing off the circle of flowers. Beside him, Impulse has since pulled out a gameboy. “Phantom, go in invisibly through the open door and report back. Try to see what their plans are.” 

“Oh, sure. One second.” Phantom finishes the crown and tries to put it on Bart’s head. It doesn’t quite fit over his mane of hair, but Phantom shrugs and leaves it sitting there anyway before going invisible. 

“Maybe I should shave my head again,” Bart says as his game character dies. 

He gets a resounding no in response. 

Half an hour later they have a very annoyed Green Lantern lecturing them about league jurisdiction and knowing when to call someone else. 

Apparently, the alien ship was just stopping to complete some maintenance, and did not appreciate any spying on them, and especially did not appreciate who did it. Green Lantern was more than happy to explain that Wonder Girl’s team is not really a part of the Justice League and he can help with their maintenance. They denied his help and left to find a place with less people in it. 

“-and you!” Green Lantern rounds on Phantom next, but Cassie knows none of them are really listening. Sure, they messed up by freaking out the visiting aliens, and yeah maybe they should have contacted the league about it, but they’ve dealt with stuff worse than this! It’s not Cassie’s fault she thought that this would have stuck to the formula. 

“Who even are you?” Green Lantern runs a hand through his black hair, stupid green gauntlets shining in the sunlight. “Do I need to call your mentor?” He frowns. “Or do they know you mess up alien technology by just being around it?” 

Phantom scoffs and rolls his eyes. “How was I supposed to know their tech would go all fuzzy when I came in?” 

“You wouldn’t have to know if you just stayed out of the spaceship!” 

“Hey!” Cassie cuts in. “Technically that was my call. It’s not all on Phantom.”

“I still could've been more careful,” Phantom says to her, ignoring Green Lantern as they argue about blame. 

“Cut it out for a second, okay?” Green Lantern puts a hand between them and they stop to glare at him. He pulls the hand back. “Look, can I just talk to one of your adults about this?” 

Robin glares. “We don’t need an adult. We have this under control.”

“Only because I’m here now.” 

“I’ll call my mentor,” Phantom says. Kon opens his mouth, most likely to offer to call Superman instead in hopes of a lighter sentence, but Bart covers his mouth, smiling like he knows something Cassie doesn’t. Tim and Anita share a look, and don’t intervene as Phantom pulls out a phone from his chest. 

It rings once before it’s picked up. Cassie can’t hear the other side of the conversation, but Kon’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “Hey, do you think you can pick me up? Green Lantern wants to talk to you.” Phantom looks Green Lantern up and down then says, “No, this one doesn’t have a cape.”

Phantom says goodbye after rattling off their coordinates, hangs up, and stares at Green Lantern in silence for a few seconds. 

And then a swirling mass of black seeps into the space next to Phantom. The end of a cane steps out of it, followed by a leg, then the rest of the immaculately dressed man holding the handle of the cane that’s shaped like a bird’s head. 

“Phantom,” The man says. His voice drips with condescension in only a way a british accent can, yet Phantom smiles up at him. The shadowy portal behind him disappears. “What, exactly, happened?”

“That’s the fucking Shade,” Anita hisses to Robin, who shrugs noncommittedly at her. Green Lantern seems to recognise him too, taking a step back and clenching his hand that holds his ring. 

“Well, the team and I were staking out this spaceship–super cool, by the way–and I went inside to check it out, but my presence messed with their tech–which was an accident–and they freaked out, so I freaked out, and then we kinda got into a little fight until Green Lantern came to mediate.”

“Hm. Is that right?” The Shade asks Green Lantern, who nods slowly, still anticipating an attack. “It seems like the problem’s fixed, then.”

“Well, yes, but–”

“And it does seem about time for these kids to get home, doesn't it?” The Shade pulls out an actual pocket watch, chain and all, from his suit pocket and takes his time in checking it. “I’ll see them home.” 

Shadows grow from behind the team, swirling until they become a giant, gaping maw that swallows them up and spits them out in a different forest, or maybe just a different part of the same forest. 

Either way, Cassie has to take a moment to make sure she doesn’t throw up from the sudden vertigo the shadow portal caused. 

The Shade looks at Phantom, and raises an eyebrow. “You can’t expect me to always bail you out.” 

Phantom shrugs, looking guilty. “I know. Thanks, Richard.”

Oh, so that’s who Richard is. Annoyingly, neither Tim or Bart look surprised by this revelation.

[catgrandpa]

Gotham has always been weird, so when the groundskeeper at the cemetery noticed the Wayne kid’s plot was disturbed, he just chalked it up to more of the same ol’. Alright, so ‘disturbed’ may be a tad too light of a word, but what’s an empty grave in the grand scheme of Gotham? God knows in a city like this one, they could use all the burial room they could get. He figured he’d just jot it down on the website and hope nobody noticed for a while.

Too bad he didn’t account for the 13 year old boy in Bristol who periodically checks the cemetery’s website when he’s feeling particularly lonely.

Plot Removed.

Tim Drake stared at the two words under the heading for Jason Todd’s plot number. Removed? What do they mean ‘removed’? They can’t just remove a plot? That’s a person down there! That’s Robin down there! You can’t Remove Robin!

Calm down. Deep breaths. Assess the situation.

Robin has been dead for 5 months and 14 days. There is no reason for a grave to be removed that early, especially one of a member of such an affluential family. Chances are likely it’s a simple clerical issue. He can call first thing in the morning and make them aware of the mistake. He can have it all fixed in 5 hours.

Just a phone call.

In 5 hours.

…

Tim hates talking on the phone almost as much as he hates waiting.

Well it won’t be the first time he’s snuck out to head to Gotham proper at 1am. It can’t even really be considered sneaking out if there’s no one home to catch you.

Buses stop running at 2, so he layers a couple sweaters under his coat and grabs his best running sneakers so he can comfortably make the trek back.

Just a quick trip to settle his nerves. Maybe get a few shots in if he spots Batman, but really he just wants to see with his own two eyes that things are okay and Jason can rest.

It’s 1:37 by the time he gets to the headstone reading ‘Here Lies Jason Todd’ and the gaping, muddy pit in front of it.

This- This doesn’t make any sense. This is not removal. This is destruction. Desecration. Somebody did this. Somebody-

Assess the situation.

A hole in the ground, approximately 1.5 feet in diameter.

Mud and grass flung outward but with little force.

Large chunks of earth turned over and shoved away.

No signs of tool marks or clean lines of entry into the dirt.

Dragging claw marks.

Staggering, shuffled pairs of foot prints in the mud.

A trail of dirt.

Something… Something large clawed its way out of the ground here. Something large and bipedal and- and humanoid.

Tim refuses to jump to any conclusions he can see all the facts laid in front of him. He’s going to cautiously follow the trail and simply hope to any god listening that he isn’t the world’s first line of defense against the zombie apocalypse.

He’s been walking for 23 minutes and there’s good news and undecided news. Good news: he’s closing in on the target and the trail isn’t taking him out of the way so his trip home won’t be prolonged. Undecided news: The potential Zombie Robin is heading directly for Wayne Manor.

As zombie apocalypse news, this is very bad. From Tim’s collected observational evidence, his not-so-professional opinion is that Batman, faced with a horror movie level zombie of his dead son, would not respond well, and would likely not fight back.

In Batman and Robin news? Tim’s unsure. If Jason is simply back? What could that mean for them? Batman can have his Robin. He wouldn’t have to continue nearly killing others and himself every night in his grief. Jason could-

No. Stop. Do not jump to conclusions.

Hope only brings heartbreak.

What would Batman do? Get close and see if the target is a threat.

Target is male. Mid-teens. Dark hair. Pale skin. Leaning against surfaces as he walks. Appears injured and disoriented.

Minimal risk assessed. Approaching and attempting contact.

Target identity confirmed: Jason Todd.

“J-Jason?” It comes out as a croaked whisper. Jason shows no sign of acknowledgment.

Tim clears his throat, steps right in front of his path, and tries again.

“Jason. Jason, stop I want to help you.” Still nothing.

“Please, Jason. I can help, I promise I can help!”

Why isn’t this working?! Why can’t he just do something right for once?! He wants this to work, he wants to help Bruce, he wants to fix Batman, he wants to not be alone, he wants-

“Robin!”

Robin jerks to a stop.

Tim reached out his hand.

“Robin. Robin please, I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s really scary, I’m really scared. But I just want to help you. Help you find Batman. Help you get home.”

Jason just stares at him. Of course he does. Of course it’s not going to work. Why did he even bother hoping he could help?

Hope only brings heartbreak.

His sight blurs as his eyes fill with tears and he starts to lower his outstretched hand.

His arm is slowed as a cold hand weakly grasps his own.

“Don’t… scared… Bat… help… Dad… help.”

A relieved sob tears out from Tim’s chest and he gathers himself together. He yanks his extra sweater off and gently pulls it over Jason’s cold shoulders. Jason lets Tim drag his arm over his shoulders to try and carry some of his weight.

“Okay, Robin. Yeah. Your dad will help us.”

Batman will solve everything once Tim gets Robin home.

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC More Shit Fae!Danny Has Said While Living With Waynes

Dick, opening his arms wide and going for a hug: hey, Danny!

Danny, looking him in the eyes without blinking: did you know that centuries ago fae really liked to crawl inside human bodies and use them as nests? I heard human insides are really warm and squishy.

Dick, sweating, frozen in place: ...no?..

Danny, smiling and cheerfully jumping to hug Dick: I didn't either!

Jason, because he is feeling adventurous today: I have a question. Where do Fae come from?

Danny: Ah, so B hadn't had the Talk with you yet, what a shame. So when a woman and a man love each other very much-

Damian: Enough of your foolish jokes, I do not wish to hear the sex talk from you. To answer your question, Todd, Fae come from the dreams.

Jason, deadpan: ...really?

Danny, very awkwardly: Um. Dami. Brother to my soul. I'm so sorry.

Damian: What?

Danny: I told you we come from dreams only because you were four. That's not actually how it works. We just fuck.

Duke, narrowing his eyes at Danny suspiciously: So, for the past week and a half, I've been having this recurring dream about you eating my brain with a fork like spaghetti. I was wondering, is it, like, a you thing or a me thing?

Danny, very offended: Duke! Not every weird thing that happens in this house is my fault! That is very rude of you!

Cass, after Duke had apologized profusely and left: You.

Danny, rolling his eyes: Yeah, okay, I did do that. In my defense, his fear tastes like the perfect greasy cheeseburger, and I have to get my fair share of junk food somehow.

Cass: >:(

Danny: Okay, I'll stop. Eventually.

Bruce, in his nth attempt at gaining information from Danny: How do you know if someone is a Fae or not?

Danny: Throw a fish at them.

Bruce: ????

Danny, not even looking up from his phone: Fish are scared of the Fae. So if you throw a fish at someone and the fish gets scared, they are Fae.

Gotham Rogues a week later: We have no idea why Batman keeps throwing guppies at us, but we collectively suspect his new child is to blame.

Danny: Oh, I'm forbidden to enjoy caraoke nights.

Steph, who suggested he join: What? Why? Is it some kind of punishment for the pizza incident?

Tim: No, it's because if he starts singing, we all lose our grip on reality.

Damian: And our dignity.

Danny: They mean they start dancing whether they want it or not, and I have videos to prove it. Wanna see Jason twerking? Or I have one with Tim and Bruce waltzing through the manor.

Steph, as everyone else bemoans their fate: With great pleasure.

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