mkarchin713

[mkarchin713]

I formally request someone make fan art of this.

I NEED to see Batman’s frozen tits and Constantine literally going through multiple translation dictionaries.

Bruce sighed.

He never thought he would die like this. When he started out as Batman he was certain he would meet his end fighting the criminal underworld of Gotham. When he got older and life got stranger, he believed he would die fighting off a threat like Joker or Deathstroke, maybe even Darkseid. Being used as a human sacrifice to the King of the Infinite Realms was not on that list, let alone being a willing sacrifice.

Unfortunately, it had been necessary. An asteroid was on collision course with Earth. The asteroid had a colony of sapient alien life on it, so destroying it was not an option. As the League grew desperate, Constantine revealed a similar incident had happened a few years ago. The King of the Infinite Realms had, along with his subjects, turned the Earth intangible and both the Earth and the Asteroid had survived. Constantine isn’t sure why or how, but there are signs an extremely powerful ghost had merged realities and in the process erased the memories of this event from the entire population of Earth! The only reason Constantine knows about it is because a Demon with time-based powers told him during one of their poker games. Summoning this King was risky, as they had no idea what the King would want in return, but this entity seemed like their best bet. Now Bruce thinks they had been wrong.

Superman pulled Bruce out of his thoughts:

“Bruce, are you sure you want to go through with this? If we work together, we might be able to-”

Bruce cut him off:

“No, Clark. You heard Constantine. If we do not hold up our end of the deal, the Ghost King could simply make his ally, this “Clockwork”, reverse time to before the planet was saved. The Earth and the asteroid will still be destroyed, killing everyone on both. This is the only way.”

Clark looked dejected. He knew his friend was right. The King had turned the entire Earth intangible with one hand! He knew the League couldn’t defeat this foe, not without help. Any being that could help them would demand even more bloodshed in exchange, though. One human life in exchange of saving the entire planet had been a steal, according to the Justice League Dark. Clark looked at Bruce:

“Are you going to put on your cowl? This will be the only chance you have to tell the other Leaguers who you are.”

Bruce looked at his cowl. He had taken of his suit, so that his family had something to bury. But to reveal his identity to anyone other than Clark....

“I will keep it on. Even if I die here, I cannot risk anyone finding out my identity and using it to get to my family. I hope the League understands.”

Bruce is pulled into a hug. As Clark holds him as close as he can without breaking bones Bruce cannot help being filled with regret. He wanted more time with his family and, dare he say, friends. This was not how things were supposed to go. Clark pulls away and seems to want to say something:

“Bruce, I just want you to know, I-”

“WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON, B?”

Suddenly Nightwing enters the room, along with the entire Bat-family. Even Alfred and Oracle, donning masks, are there. They looked confused and scared, which made sense. They had all been summoned to the Watchtower, and when they had seen non-field members there as well they knew something was very wrong. Robin stepped forward, demanding an explanation:

“Father, what is happening? Why did you ask for us here? Explain yourself this instant!”

Red Robin looked ready to fight, staff in hand and in a low stance:

Where is the danger? Who is the enemy? Do you have intel for us? ARE YOU BEING MIND CONTROLLED?

Spoiler yanked at Red Robin’s cowl, pulling him out of his paranoid spiral:

“Easy, Captain Paranoid! Let him speak!”

Red Hood was clearly agitated. It was never a good sign if he was asked to the Watchtower:

“The fuck is going on, old man? Are you dying or something? That’s my stick, not yours!”

Bruce steeled his nerves. This was not going to be an easy conversation. How does one tell their family they are going to die and there is nothing to be done about it? Things had been going well for them, too. Dick and he hadn’t fought as often anymore, Jason had not called him names when he patrolled Crime ally last week, Tim hadn’t done anything that could be considered villainous (that he knew of) and Damian had not stabbed any goons for a month. Truly things had been good. Bruce knew this would mess it all up. He feared Jason would start killing again, or Damian would take out his grief on the criminals or Tim would… Well he had no idea. Last time Bruce disappeared Tim blew up so many LoA bases (he still wasn’t sure whether there had been people inside or not), so it was anyone’s gue-

“Sir, could you please elaborate on why we are here? I’m assuming it has something to do with the reason for this dreadful cold, and perhaps your lack of a shirt?”

Bruce sighed. Alfred always knew how to get through to him. With a heavy heart he told them everything. He would sacrifice himself for the survival of both planets. There was nothing to be done about that, and he asked them to please accept his decision. Naturally everyone was outraged. Amidst the chaos, Orphan asked a question:

“Why you?”

Bruce explained that, according to Constantine, the King had asked for a single sacrifice in return: “To feast on a non-magic, non-meta mortal human that will not resist being consumed.” It had pointed specifically at Batman, making sure they all knew which one it wanted. There had been no time to negotiate the prize, so he had accepted. After that it had left immediately for Earth, turning it intangible so the asteroid flew through harmlessly and fulfilling its end of the deal. Orphan seemed to think for a bit, before speaking up again:

“We’ll miss you.”

She hugged Batman. The others, realizing there was nothing they could do, at least not before facing the King, joined in as well. Bruce told them how proud he was of everyone. That they were strong and brilliant, and to please protect each other and Gotham in his stead. He thanked Alfred and Oracle for their help over the years and to please continue to support the others with the same strength they used to help him. After a moment they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Wonder Woman had entered the room. With a saddened expression, and a dented doorhandle that showed her tension, she had come to collect her friend.:

“Batman. It’s time.”

Bruce nodded at her. Thanking her, he tried to leave with her, but was stopped by Alfred. After a quick hug, Alfed offered Bruce a cookie from the plate he had brought along:

“Every man deserves a final meal. I’m sorry this was all I have to offer.”

Taking a grateful bite, Bruce allowed himself to indulge in the taste of home.

“Thank you, Alfred. This means more to me then you realize.”

Steeling himself once more, Batman and the others followed Wonder Woman to the main room. It was the largest room in the Watchtower, several stories high with observation platforms, security screens showing cities all over the planet and a teleportation platform. As they approached the room, Batman was surprised by the cold that radiated form the entrance. Opening the door the source of all the cold and grief became visible to the group. Signal had to shield his eyes:

“What the hell!?!”

There it was, the High Ghost King of the Infinite Realms. A giant being, which had been so large they had to move to the observation platform to speak with it. Even then it towered over the heroes. It’s skin impossibly dark, with constellations spotting its tail & torso. The stars converging on its lower arms, making it look like it was wearing glowing white gloves, the same as a strange symbol on his chest that seemed important. The stars on its neck blending seamlessly with its hair, yet leaving its head completely dark aside from a few little spots on its face. The only facial feature they could make out where 2 Lazarus green eyes, focused on the new arrivals. On its hand, a ring with a skull on it that had freaked out the Lanterns. On its head a dark crown covered in patches of frost, and its own Aurora Borealis spreading from it. The room had already been partially covered in frost simply from the King’s aura. Power emanated from it, which had caused several members that had been dead and revived before to kneel on reflex, which was frightening even if they managed to get up on their own again.

Martian Manhunter had tried to peek in the Kings mind, hoping to find a way to convince the King to spare Batman, but he had been unsuccessful. As soon as he tried his knees buckled, and he had been pushed out. Ever since the Ghost King had radiated frustration. Now, as Batman entered wearing only his cowl and some spare pants, that frustration seemed to spike dangerously. Was the King upset he had been left to wait for his offer?

"What the fuck is this? I didn’t ask for a striptease, especially from some old Frootloop!”

“Constantine, what’s wrong? What is it saying?”

Batman was worried. He had not expected more anger from the being when presented with the offering. Looking at Constantine, he saw the magician frantically looking through the pages of his books, desperately looking for a translation.

“Hang on, mate. I’m doing my best here! Ehrm… no, that’s not right… Something about mating? Maybe he likes you, Bats. He also said something about “the absence of clothing” so…

Suddenly he is cut off by a strange sound coming from the Ghost King. It makes a strange motion with its body and its giant maw opens, as more of those sounds escape. It reminds Robin of Alfred the Cat when he has a hairball. However, there is more sound in the Watchtower now. The Red Hood is clutching his stomach as he is doubling down in laughter.

“HAHAHAHA!!! WHAT? HOW THE FUCK DID YOU TRANSLATE THAT BADLY? HOLY SHIT!”

The Ghost King stops making the noises, and it’s eyes snap to Red Hood. It moves it’s head closer to him, casually passing it through the barrier Constantine had put up. Constantine’s swears in surprise, but the King seems not to care as it “speaks” to Red Hood:

"Oh, thank the Acients! Someone who understands Ghost Speak! Can you PLEASE help me and translate for us? This trench coat guy is terrible, and somehow twists everything I say in the worst way!"

Red Hood relaxed, looking up at the Ghost King’s giant head.:

“Sure man, no problem. I’m pretty sure he is using like 3 different dictionaries to get this far. I saw him first translate Ghost to Pixie, Pixie to Gnome and Gnome to Demon before telling us in English! So, what’s up?”

Batman was stunned. The Ghost King actually face palmed. What the heck was going on?

"Of course he is. That explains why it sounds like he is putting this through Google Translate 4 times! These guys summoned me to save the Earth, which, totally cool. Happy to help! But a summons makes it official, which means I need to get an offering. I can’t leave without it or I face a mountain of paperwork from some stupid bureaucratic eyeballs for not following proper procedure. But I can always ask something simple and get it over with. No biggie, right? WRONG.”

Red Hood actually grabs a chair to sit on. Not even in a somewhat respectful way, he is sitting on it backwards, casually leaning on it.

“Oh, boy. How badly did they fuck up? Gotta be big since Batman over there is ready to be eaten?”

The King glares at Constantine, who puts up his bravest “time to out-bollock a Eldritch Demon” face. The King is not impressed:

"Man, I asked, and I quote: “I’d like to eat a regular human meal that doesn’t fight back, like that guy would eat!” I wanted it to be clear I didn’t want blood, or corpses or virgins or any of the other horrible things stupid cults try to give me! I just wanted a burger or something! But then Mr. triple dictionary over there somehow turns that into: ‘’I wish to feast on a non-magic, non-meta mortal human that will not resist being consumed, and it must be that one.” I’ll admit I was pointing at one of the non-supers, but that didn’t mean I wanted to eat him! I just wanted to make sure it was normal food, something that doesn’t fight back!”

Red Hood looked confused, asking if the King’s food usually fights back. The King rolls it’s eyes:

"In life, I lived with mad scientist parents who treated lab safety as a suggestion at best and a chore for teens at worst. Put enough samples in the fridge and you get a whole new type of Thanksgiving trauma. Dang, I’m getting even more hungry. I’d love some turkey right now. Could you get them to bring me some food? That way I can have my sacrifice and leave…”

Red Hood stands up. He asks if the King can wait a few more minutes, claiming that after all that frustration he deserved something better. Getting a nod from the Ghost King, the Red Hood suddenly shouted over the platform railing towards the waiting Leaguers:

“FLASH! Get your squad up here, and bring pen & paper! I got a job for y’all!”

Zooming up every member of the Flash family gets a list of things to get and a warning not to tell the Bats what’s on it, or Red Hood will shoot them in the knees. Looking at the lists, they quickly caught on what was going on and promised they wouldn’t tell. This was way too funny! Red Hood does a fake bow to the King, clearly amusing himself.

“Don’t worry, your Hungry-ness! Your sacrifice is being prepared! Anything else we can assist you with?”

The Ghost King seems to tilt its head in amusement. Whatever Hood was doing, it was working, which honestly was the only reason nobody had tackled him to the floor.

"Actually, if you could get that Frootloop to put on a shirt that would be great. He is shivering and honestly, I’m worried he’s going to poke someone’s eye out with a nipple. Why is he shirtless anyway? Please tell me he wasn’t actually trying to seduce me or something, he’s old enough to be my dad! Gross!”

This caused Red Hood to again double over in laughter. Everyone was confused, what could possibly be so funny in this situation? Constantine had frantically tried translating during their conversation, but it had gone too fast for him. He gave up when the King mentioned eyeballs and seduction, accepting he wouldn’t get anywhere like this. Batman however couldn’t resist his need to know everything anymore.

“Hood, report! How are you communicating with the entity?”

Red Hood turns to Batman, walks past him and towards Alfred, grabbing one of the cookies he had brought with him. As he walks back and hands it to the Ghost King, he starts to explain:

“Honestly, not sure. It feels instinctive, like a second mother-tongue. Pretty sure it’s some sort of “dead-guy-language” you learn when you die. Speaking off: Turns out Constantine is a VERY unreliable translator. Spooky here is actually pretty chill! He used you as an example to make sure we knew what he wanted, not to demand you as a sacrifice. He is in fact pretty ticked that you guys tried to feed B to him. Speaking of: Batman? Put a shirt on, for fucks sake. You look like you’re going to freeze your tits off.”

This earned a round of giggles from Green Lantern & Green Arrow. Now that the tension had left the room, other Leaguers also smiled in relief. Besides, it’s always fun to see Batman being the butt of a joke. Sure enough, Batman let out a frustrated sound, that got the rest of the Bats to join in on the fun. They understood that their dad in fact felt rather silly right now, which meant that they had more to gossip about soon. Constantine now was wondering what Hood was up to:

“Mate, I did my best! Sorry for not being fluent in every language in existence. What the hell did you send the Flash to get? The bloke is a scientist and denies magic when it’s right in front of ‘im! What could they possibly get that I couldn’t-”

At that moment, the Flashes zoom out of the Zeta tubes and zoom across the observation deck. After a few moments of red and yellow blurs, the deck is covered with tables filled front to back with food! Picking up a receipt that fell to the floor, Batman realizes this is take-out from all over the world. Seeing a puddle of Lazarus water grow on the floor, he looks up. The Ghost King is actually drooling! Red Hood steps aside and gestures to the feast:

“Welp! There is your sacrifice! One. And I also quote: “regular human meal that doesn’t fight back, like “that guy” would eat!” Well, more of a feast then a meal, but I’m sure a big guy like you can finish it, and you can always take home the rest I guess. Bon Appetit!”

Opening his giant maw, the Ghost King digs in. Well, as much as he can. He actually looks kind of silly eating everything with a tiny fork. Still, judging from the purring sound emanating through the Watchtower it’s to the Kings liking.

"DUDE, THIS IS SO GOOD? I need to know these restaurants! You want a bite for helping me out? You saved me SOOO much annoying paperwork, I was about to bail!”

Picking up a plate of karaage, Red Hood took of his helmet revealing a second mask underneath and dug in as well:

“Don’t mind if I do, this smells fantastic! Oh shit, you should try this stuff, it’s great!”

Red Hood being allowed to partake in the offering so casually caused Constantine to do a double take. He realizes he seriously misjudged this entity. Still, that didn’t explain the horrific stories about him. He would need to do some digging into that, maybe with Hood as a translator. For now he takes a swig of his drink. The world was saved, no one died or lost their Soul and he didn’t make any new enemies he thinks. Plus, Batman felt like an idiot, and that always made the Brit smile.

All in all a good day!

[mkarchin713]

Harley: Babe! (Flying tackle into hot make out session)

Ivy: …. Not that I’m complaining but what was that for?

Harley: for killing Mr. J! Best early anniversary gift ever! (Proceeds to shove her tongue down Ivy’s throat)

Ivy: (coming up for air, she may not need it but Harley does) as much as I appreciate the affection, and I do, I’m not the one who offed Joker.

Harley: (sad Harley noises) ya didn’t?

Ivy: sorry.

Batman: but if Ivy didn’t kill Joker than who could have possibly forced a cactus to grow out of his anus?

Harley:…

Ivy: ….

Harley:…

Ivy:…how long have you been standing there?

DCXDP prompt 4

Danny wants to visit Sam in Gotham but won't because of the Joker. Que Sam with the power of the Undergrowth taking out the Joker. The rest of Gotham believes that Poison Ivy slaughtered the Joker.

[mkarchin713]

Idea.

Wal-Ker isn’t just the god of order.

He is the warden of the Phantom Zone (aka the Ghost Zone/Infinite Realms)

The reason he arrested Danny in the first place was because Danny had “contraband” from the mortal world.

Now as far as Wal-Ker is concerned the only way mortal stuff can get into the Phantom Zone is if someone is sentenced to the Phantom Zone (he wasn’t aware of the Fenton Portal at first).

The obvious answer (at least to him) is that any mortals found in the Phantom Zone must be criminals sentenced to this dimension. Any ghost with mortal stuff must have been bribed by these criminals into allowing the mortal prisoners to hide in their lairs.

Don’t they know that harboring criminals is against the rules.

And he’s not going to let anyone break the rules, not even Dan-El.

Culture Shock

Look, Danny knows not all of the ghosts from the Zone are human, ok?

Skulker is an alien, Wulf is from another dimension, and Frostbite's ancestral world don't even have planets.

You can meet any ghost from any world and any time period, it's only one of the infinite weird things about the Realms.

So it wasn't a big deal when Danny asked Walker to teach him his mother tongue. Just an attempt to reduce the communication error with the guy, and maybe an effort to get to know his Zone neighbors better.

Generic ghost speak can only get them so far after all.

And ok, Danny wasn't expecting to get actual language books and fucking homeworks from the warden, but whatever. Walker is stuffy like that. It's actually pretty sweet of him to give Danny all of these materials, and Danny can appreciate that.

It might have, unfortunately, slipped Danny's mind to ask more about Walker's origins. Although to be fair, learning an alien language wouldn't be a problem normally, it shouldn't be.

If not for that cursed Fenton luck.

How in the realms is Danny supposed to know Walker is Kryptonian??? Walker acts nothing like Superman, how is Danny supposed to connect the two dots?!

Shit, how do he even start to explain this when Superman is knocking on his dorm window??

[mkarchin713]

Danny was so out of his depth he didn’t think he’d ever come up for air (not that he needed to breathe).

How did helping a Debra give birth to little Tommy, lead to him becoming the go to midwife for all his coworkers.

Seriously, J’onn or M’gann could probably do the same thing he did, but somehow this was his job.

He is not a trained professional, he may know more than the average man (thanks mom) but he didn’t go to medical school (like he could have gotten in with his grades).

The absolute worst thing was he had somehow become the best friend of every single supers wife.

He got it, he really did, having a baby that could potentially of inherited its parents superpowers was terrifying (he knew all about that from incubating Ellie’s brothers, 0/10 would not recommend, but worth it). He knew it was probably worse for moms who didn’t have powers.

But did they really have to put him through all this.

First it was the emergency p-sections (thanks for coining that phrase Barry).

Next it was the “just be on stand by in case something went wrong”’s

Then he’s being dragged to lamas classes.

Now he’s being asked to do gender reveals by “just taking a peek”

What was he going to be asked to do next?

The Phantom Midwive-DCxDP

The worst possible time to give birth is during a kidnapping/hostage situation. And unfortunately that was the current situation.

"Phantom. Did you find the hostages?" Batman said over the comm.

Phantom was on recon as always. Not everyone can just go through walls after all and Martian Manhunter wasn't always available.

"Yeah, I found them but we got a situation. A woman is in active labor and we can't move her. If I start evaluating now I'll be leaving her. And I'm not doing that." Danny said.

Danny couldn't just not do his job though but the league was busy handling the very dangerous baddies so he couldn't count on reenforcement.

"Just get them out. See what you can do to help her."

"Got it, boss."Danny said before mumbling "I should have just joined the Titans. I swear."

But something had to be done as soon as possible.

He sat beside her and helped calm her down as she cried in pain and fear over the entire situation. Suddenly an idea came to Danny.

"Excuse me, ma'am? Do you you mind if I just...grab them?" Danny asked politely as he took off his jacket.

"What?!" She tried to say calmly but a contraction hit when she opened her mouth.

"It won't hurt you or the baby but I'm gonna need to just grab them. Don't worry I'm amazing at biology. And I've had a very detailed talk about reproduction and birth. Charts and all." Danny said suddenly thankful for his mom's instance that he know the in and out of female biology.

She was right. A man should know what a woman goes through.

Danny true to his word just phased through the woman's belly and gently took the baby out on the cleanest c-section ever. The little guy was as clean as...well the day he was born.

"Uh...it's a boy?" Danny said nervously as he rubbed the newborn's back until he realized he was out now and can take a breath and cry. "Congrats he's a live one."

The group was stunned in silence as Phantom wrapped the baby in his jacket and passed him to the mother.

"Alright man I'm gonna work quickly to remove the placenta before you get toxic shock. You won't feel a thing." Danny said going back in to remove the leftover material.

Afterwards, the evacuation went perfectly.

What Danny didn't account for was the birth story of little Phan"Tom" had become a news headline. Almost every woman in the world wanted Phantom to deliver their baby because an almost painless birth sounded amazing.

Currently, the league members have a list of women who have Phantom as their midwife.

[mkarchin713]

Ditto

fanfic writers are so fucking awesome man. they write novel length fics that are sometimes even better than some published bestselling books written by professional writers. like fanfic writers are professional writers to me and they gift us their masterpieces for free. they give us something we can look forward to after a long day. something from which we can seek comfort when life is hard. something that can be our own little getaway. in a world of capitalism, despite everything, they give us all of these for free. like holy fuck. shout out to every fanfic writer. I wish all fanfic writers a very ‘I love you with all my heart and soul. I thank you from the bottom of my heart’

[mkarchin713]

Would you love me if I was a Polyacanthocephala (parasitic worm)?

a wizard is going to turn you into a random animal! whether you like it or not! how nice of them! spin the wheel to find out which class your new species belongs to (and then probably do a google).

[mkarchin713]

Danny: pretty sure my evil future self already did in an alternate timeline that may or may not still exist.

Batman: … you know you’re not helping your case, right?

Danny: hence why I warned you about Dan.

Danny, talking to Batman as Phantom: Trust me, I'm the least of your worries when it comes to my fraid in Gotham.

Bruce, narrowing his eyes while trying to figure out the threat: How so?

Danny: My sister is a huge fan of Har-sorry-Dr. Quinn's works and is inspired to go down a path as her as a psychologist. She's also one bad thing away from happening from also following down her path as a mad doctor.

Danny: My parents believe that you, your sidekicks, and your rogue gallery are all ghosts of some kind and want to capture you for experiments or tear you apart. And trust me, it is not fun.

Bruce, now worried: Wait-

Danny, still going: One of my friends is obsessed with plants and justice for the ecosystem. And when she got possesed by Undergrowth, she gained some powers to back it up. She also looks up to Poison Ivy and would definitely join her at the drop of the hat if she was asked. That, and Gotham is pretty much heaven on Earth for her. It had goth in the name!

Danny: My other friend is obsessed with technology and Oracle. He compliments your passwords and firewalls frequently. Calls them an exercise to make sure he hasn't lost his touch.

Bruce: Hang on-

Danny: But don't get me started on Wayne Industries. If he was here, he would've broken in and stolen all the tech for himself.

Danny: Dani might not stay long, but even if she did, she will cause trouble. Whether it's a few fights or a bit of graffiti, she will do something. Especially if you tell her not to.

Danny: And Dan? Well, I know how that will go, and it won't be a good thing if he's messed with.

Bruce:.....

Danny:.....

Bruce: And....and you?

Danny: Oh, I don't really care for Gotham. The skies are full of smog that you can't see the stars at night, and I hate clowns. The only reason I'm here is because Gotham University has all the classes I wanna take.

Bruce:.....I see.

[mkarchin713]

Another random scene.

…

Flash: -and that is why Kid Flash will be taking over the Flash mantle. Any questions?

Superman: does Kid have any allergies or medical conditions we should know about.

Batman: don’t worry it’s already in the file.

Flash: … how do you know Kid’s allergies?

Batman: hnn

Nightwing: that’s bat for “if KF hasn’t told you anything I won’t either.”

Flash: … how do you know that?

Nightwing: you mean you guys don’t know Batspeak?

Superman: (formerly the only JL member who could speak Batman) … how did he figure it out so fast, it took me six months to figure it out.

Batman: hnn

Nightwing: Batman says “you aren’t as good at it as you think”

Superman:🥺

No Justice League identity reveal but Nightwing gets recruited to be a member

Batman wants to keep his family safe but also realizes that his baby boy is a grown man and can make his own decisions, even if this baby gives him a heart attack.

Nightwing is strong, smart, and levelheaded in battle. He’s go a good personality that many heroes, young and old, admire greatly. It would be a great disservice to the the hero world.

So Nightwing joins the Justice Leauge.

Boom, immediately everyone feels like something is wrong. Nightwing is a legend of his own in the superhero community, just like Batman. Obviously, the League figured the only two unpowered humans in the team would get along, but this is too much

Nightwing is constantly on him. Hanging off his shoulders, playing with his fingers, draped over his lap, flipping off his shoulders??? Doing a whole acrobatic routine based on Batman’s body??? It’s strange and off putting.

Batman pretends like it’s not even happening, like he’s completely used to it.

He calls him nicknames, mocks his voice and his serious attitude, argues with him. It’s like the League has been dumped in an alternate dimension. (They’ve checked, but no… still the same dimension)

Now, something hero’s are painfully aware of is that Batman can be kinda territorial about his food. He doesn’t do jokes about trying to steal his food. He leveled Hal with such a flat stare that the man actually apologized and stayed silent for an entire lunch period

And Nightwing has grown close enough to all the main League members that he’s invited to sit at their ‘table’ for lunch. Another reason they’re suspicious of Nightwing, he voluntarily sits by Batman

Nightwing has his own food and finishes it in record speed (obvi not counting Flash) but then… he starts picking at Batman’s…?

Batman doesn’t even blink or slap his hand away. Then Nightwing opens his mouth like a baby bird waiting to be fed and… Batman feeds him??? He cuts off the best part of his steak and just pops it into Nightwing’s mouth.

Why are they both acting like this is complete normal???

Nightwing is stealing his lunches, taking snack out of his utility belt (which is just wow cause why does Batman carry so many snacks??), taking sips of his drinks or just stealing the whole thing for himself

It’s absolutely crazy

And on rare occasions, when Nightwing is eating something he doesn’t like or can’t finish, he just pushes over to Batman. And he eats it!!

The League checks again just to make sure they still haven’t been transferred to another dimension

[mkarchin713]

I nominate Dani “Ellie” Phantom as his new daughter as I cannot let a DC prompt go unDPed.

Jason would adopt a kid (or a kid would adopt Jason, let’s be real) and he would never outright tell anyone. It would be up to everyone ELSE to find out. Whether that be by accident or by suspicious snooping

Jason: hey guys, im gong to the store. anyone want anything? tim: uh some granola bars for patrol would be great. what are you going to the store for? jason: *non-chalantly* a night light tim: tim: are you . . . afraid of the dark? jason: no tim:

jason: *yanking a super sugary cereal out of dick's hands* that stunts growth and development dick: dick: i am,,,,, fully rown and developed?????? jason: well then you're setting a bad example for young and impressionable children dick: damian????????? jason: no dick: then who?????

cassandra: would you like to come to my ballet recital? everyone else is busy. jason: umm . . . can i bring a plus one? cassandra: sure. who? jason: my daughter cassandra: awww that's a great idea! later: cassandra: wait. you don't have a daughter. jason: yes i do? cassandra: okay then. *promptly never mentions it to anyone else*

steph: *visiting jason* uh . . . dude jason: *wearing a "my dad jokes are the price of my cooking" apron and cooking while holding a child on his hip* yea? steph: steph: what the FU- jason: LANGUAGE steph: -DGE

bruce: jason has been acting off. i need the two of you to tail him tonight and report back to me. stephanie: no. bruce: what do you mean no? duke: i wouldn't willingly tail jason todd if you told me you would pay for my college bruce: im already going to pay for your college duke: exactly. and i'm gonna to need my life to make use of that fact. so im not going to tail the murderous crime lord turned vigilante. no way. bruce: something's wrong, i'm telling you two. stephanie, who has alrady met her niece and is the first aunt to have been named: ask someone else dude. idk what else t' tell ya

bruce: tim, something's wrong with jason tim, who found out through steph the day previous and has since met his niece as well: he got a girl bruce: *wide-eyed* he has a girlfriend???? tim: that's not-- you know what, sure

[mkarchin713]

Pre reveal scenes that have popped into my head (possibly more to follow)

…..

(Huge explosion)

Wonder Woman: is everyone alright?

Flash: I’m good

Batman: hnn

Superman: looks like everyone’s okay- wait where’s Nightwing (used x-ray vision) I can’t see him. Nightwing where are you!

Nightwing: over here (peeks out from under Batman’s lead lined cape and waves, looking far too comfortable for everyone else’s comfort)

….

No Justice League identity reveal but Nightwing gets recruited to be a member

Batman wants to keep his family safe but also realizes that his baby boy is a grown man and can make his own decisions, even if this baby gives him a heart attack.

Nightwing is strong, smart, and levelheaded in battle. He’s go a good personality that many heroes, young and old, admire greatly. It would be a great disservice to the the hero world.

So Nightwing joins the Justice Leauge.

Boom, immediately everyone feels like something is wrong. Nightwing is a legend of his own in the superhero community, just like Batman. Obviously, the League figured the only two unpowered humans in the team would get along, but this is too much

Nightwing is constantly on him. Hanging off his shoulders, playing with his fingers, draped over his lap, flipping off his shoulders??? Doing a whole acrobatic routine based on Batman’s body??? It’s strange and off putting.

Batman pretends like it’s not even happening, like he’s completely used to it.

He calls him nicknames, mocks his voice and his serious attitude, argues with him. It’s like the League has been dumped in an alternate dimension. (They’ve checked, but no… still the same dimension)

Now, something hero’s are painfully aware of is that Batman can be kinda territorial about his food. He doesn’t do jokes about trying to steal his food. He leveled Hal with such a flat stare that the man actually apologized and stayed silent for an entire lunch period

And Nightwing has grown close enough to all the main League members that he’s invited to sit at their ‘table’ for lunch. Another reason they’re suspicious of Nightwing, he voluntarily sits by Batman

Nightwing has his own food and finishes it in record speed (obvi not counting Flash) but then… he starts picking at Batman’s…?

Batman doesn’t even blink or slap his hand away. Then Nightwing opens his mouth like a baby bird waiting to be fed and… Batman feeds him??? He cuts off the best part of his steak and just pops it into Nightwing’s mouth.

Why are they both acting like this is complete normal???

Nightwing is stealing his lunches, taking snack out of his utility belt (which is just wow cause why does Batman carry so many snacks??), taking sips of his drinks or just stealing the whole thing for himself

It’s absolutely crazy

And on rare occasions, when Nightwing is eating something he doesn’t like or can’t finish, he just pushes over to Batman. And he eats it!!

The League checks again just to make sure they still haven’t been transferred to another dimension

[mkarchin713]

Idea.

Lex and Clark grew up together like in Smallville.

Lex had a crush on Clark before his hyper focus shifted to Superman (who looks just like the guy Lex had a crush on in high school and is even more out of his league than Clark was, and why does Superman have to be so pretty!)

Lex decided if he couldn’t have Clark (thanks to that home wrecking pain in the butt Lois Lane) he can at least have Clark’s first kid (suck it Lois!).

Now if only he can find out where his cousin Maddie took his darling little boy, everything would be peachy keen.

DC x DP idea #1

I had an idea after reading this post (so it's inspired by it) and then I couldn't forget about it so here I am.

What if Danny is a clone of Clark and Lex Luthor like Kon only in the one who was cloned is Clark and not Superman.

Okay hear me out, I can't help but laugh at the idea of ​​how Lutor and Clark would react to the news that they were cloned (and here I borrow the idea of ​​sending untraceable messages, because it is brilliant and perfect for many funny situations and angest) and their clone who is a completely "regular" person without any powers or bad intentions.

Especially Clark's reactions, I imagine that he looks from Kon to Danny with a breakdown, because both are his children with Lutor despite the fact that to the world Kon is a clone of Lutor and Superman and Danny - of Lutor and Clark. Additionally, Lois' reaction to this would be hilarious.

However, Kon's reaction would be the most interesting because imagine that for him Danny is his brother (they have the same "parents"), I can imagine that he would be happy and nervous because he can't decide whether he wants to find him or prefers him to stay away from their parents. Although I am convinced that when they meet Danny will have no qualms and will immediately start calling him his younger brother.

[mkarchin713]

Danny: my kids are in danger (proceeds to lift Red Hood like he weights absolutely nothing and gently places the crime lord up the side, and leaps over the stairs, and summersaults into a flying tackle, using himself as a living projectile to send the goons flying)

Red Hood: we will have a spring wedding.

Ellie: better make it winter, mama loves the snow and needs something to snap him out of his Christmas angries.

Red Hood: (looks down and sees Ellie sipping a smoothie with a crowbar on her lap while sitting atop a throne of tires that look suspiciously familiar)

Ellie: (sips her smoothie)

Red Hood: (looks at the bloody carnage being inflected on the goons who dared mess with Danny’s kids)

Ellie: (takes an obnoxiously loud final slurp of her smoothie while looking Red Hood straight in the eyes)

Red Hood: … so how do you feel about being our flower girl?

Ellie: I think you said Menace of Honor wrong but sure.

Ok so I saw someone make a DCxDP prompt post about trans Danny working in a cafe or coffee shop? Idk but anyway! He had Dani with him as his kid and eventually caught the eye of Jason/ red hood right! So I made one based off of that

So imagine Danny, wanting to take a break from being king and what not sees this smoke filled city and goes “hmm yess I love it!” And settles in the Bowery, essentially making it his new haunt.

He runs a cute little cafe called C&R (coffee and room) Danny still having a his obsession with space and protection, but it’s aimed more towards young adults and kids (but extends to kids he dubs as his even if they’re like 40)

He takes in basically any kid that need a place or someplace to stay, his only rule is if he takes you in you work the cafe with him and he pays for their time (him being the ghost king, he has a LOT of money)

So I imagine his cafe/ apartment set up like, the cafe as the main floor and then you take stairs up into the living room and to the left is the dinning, to the right is the kitchen. Keeping right there’s a hallway the leads to Danny bedroom with an en suite, there’s also a spare/ guest bath in the hall. Now going left you get to the bedrooms and bath for the kids, at the right end of the hall you have 4 single dorm style bedrooms and on the left you got 5 family or friend rooms each with two bunks or a bunk and a bed.

All together Danny can house up to 19 kids if he wants, so that being said when he takes in these street or abused kids he grows attached and eventually ends up adopting or fostering them, and they all ADORE Danny; view him as their Dad/ brother/ uncle.

Now we get to the dead on main part!

So one of Danny kids mentioned to one of their friends, who mentioned to their friend, who told on of Jason’s ally kids that there was a middle aged mad taking in kids and making them work for him. Obviously this man is hearing red flags and goes to investigate, thing is he can tell as soon as he steps food in the Bowery that he’s being watched.

Imagine his surprise to find a man around his age (25? 27?) who is good looking as fuck, with the same hair style and loved/ takes care of street kids! This mad checks damn near all his boxes.

So Danny invites Red Hood inside to talk and grab a bite (he’s smitten already) he’s asks his kid Rory to bring up some cookies and drink please!

Now while they’re up and talking Danny hears a scuffle downstairs and immediately going to check, he finds some men harassing one if his foster daughters (use to be a working girl.)

Now there’re some rules for Danny cafe

Be polite and respectful to staff

Don’t matter who you are or what you do, no fighting in the store

Kids take priority and are under Danny’s protection

Any rule broken above will result in Danny (6’4 build like a brick house) beating you’re ass

So with that all down these guys broke pretty much the only rules he has, so while other customers and red hood watch Danny fucking knee guts them and tosses them out with warnings of disembowelment if they come back.

And that’s pretty much all I’ve got so far

Danny with his kids and Jason with his they can then become one big happy family!

[mkarchin713]

Jessica: so that volcano thing was real?

Cyborg: when exactly did you go into a coma?

Hal: what about that time you said a tiger ate your rough draft?

Plastic Man: screw the tiger, did you really lose your tablet in another dimension.

Booster Gold: I can’t believe NotrabYillb is really Captain Marvel.

Ted: is he famous in the future? Wait who are you texting

Bart: (appearing out of nowhere) Where is he, I must meet the Great Bard!

Barry: Shakespeare?

Bart: who?

The Justice League mingling before their meeting

Captain Marvel, crashing through: CYBORG QUICK, I NEED YOU TO FIX IT

Cyborg: what?

Captain Marvel: SHES DOWN

Cyborg, palling: You don’t mean … *checkc* OH FUCK NO

JL, visibly concerned: What’s going on

Captain Marvel: HURRY DO SOMETHING

Cyborg, already has twelve laptops going through codes furiously: IM TRYING

Plastic man, bursting through the room: EMERGENCY, SHE HAS BEEN HIT

Cyborg and Captain Marvel: WE KNOW

Plastic man, gripping Batman: DO SOMETHING

Captain Marvel, slapping Plasticman: GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF SOLDIER

Green Arrow: WHATS GOING ON?

Captain Marvel: AO3 IS DOWN

JL: … what?

Green Lantern (Hal & Jessica): NOOOOOOOOOOO

Wonder Woman : … the fan fiction website?

Superman: that’s it?

Cyborg, dramatic gasp: how DARE-

Captain Marvel, dramatically holding him back: No my friend, they simply don’t understand

Green lantern (Hal): How am I supposed to get through monitor duty without my dose of SI field trip fics?

Green lantern (Jessica): How am I supposed to fly through space without my Percabeth podfics???

Green lantern (Hal): Aren’t John and Kyle currently in deep space right now?

A moment of silence for thé two lanterns in space

Flash: is this what’s got you in a fuss? Damn I thought someone died

Cyborg: SIX HOURS

Four Heroes proceed to cry in unison

Bonus:

After a gruelling 6 hour meeting, the heroes found themselves with their beloved writings again

Cyborg: SHES BACK BABY

Green lantern (Jessica): NO ONE TALK TO ME FOR SIX WEEKS I NEED TO CATCH UP ON MY FIC TIME

Captain Marvel: I CAN FINALLY POST MY NEXT CHAPTER

Green lantern (Hal): You’re an author? Let me see your works

The three look at Caps account: …

Green lantern (Hal): THATS YOU???

Cyborg: howwwwwww

Green lantern (Jessica): Oh shit, I’m a big fan of your work

Bonus 2:

Batman, in the BatCave: it seems this ao3 site has a great deal of influence. I might need to investigate this.

Batman: Captain Marvels work may also give me clues as to who he is

Ten hours later

Batman, knee deep in Gray ghost, Batfam and Danny Phantom fics: … I may have made a mistake

Bonus 3:

Lex Luthor: hey Mercy. Mercy. Hey.

Mercy: WHAT

Lex: wouldn’t it be funny if after ao3 starts working again, I mess with it some more. Making it go down so soon after the 6 hours are up

Mercy: that’s sounds cruel

Mercy: I love it

Bonus 4:

Lex Luthor talking to some villains

Lex: it seems that I was right, planting a bug within the reading platform brought forth a level of villainy i hadn’t truly imagined

Sivanna “got blamed and beat up for it”: THAT WAS YOU!

Cheetah “her furry and wlw safe space” : WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

Killer Croc “same reasons above”: Oh I’m going to beat your ass

Harley Quinn, pulling out her bat and calling all the Gotham Rogues (who have been up in arms about it): IM WAY ON YA! YOURE DEAD

Lex Luthor, “just wanted to stop seeing himself get shipped with Superman”: I sense that I may have made a mistake

[mkarchin713]

Sewer Neighbors: a Gargoyles x TMNT prompt

It has been over a decade since I watched either of these shows but a thought occurred to me.

In Gargoyles a group of humans (including Elisa’s brother) are turned into gargoyle-esque mutants (the Mutates) and made their home in the sewers of New York City.

Since the Turtles also live on the sewers of NYC, I wonder how these two groups would react to meeting their new neighbors.

[mkarchin713]

Idea.

Now that Dan is MPD’s official Lane Wrangler, he has the opportunity to interact with other heroes who visit/team up with Supes every once in a while.

This has led to

Dan having a glaring match with Batman before calling him a fruitloop

Dan desperately suppressing his fangasm around J’onn

Dan looking at Wonder woman oddly as he tries to figure out if they are related to Clockwork or Pandora and wondering if he should say anything.

Dan calling any Green Lantern he sees a space pig.

Dan chasing down any speedster like an enraged purple blacked gorilla yelling “let me at them” and “they know what they did”

And don’t get me started on the villains.

Dan works in the Metropolis Police Department and is frequently on scene helping with crowd control during Superman battles.

It starts with saving Jimmy Olsen from a piece of falling rubble. Then helping Lois into the barricaded off Superman fight zone because Dan can tell she’ll get through them no matter what for her story, he might as well go with her and at least be sure she’s safe. Then he helps evacuate an out of control plane that Superman had safely slowed down and gently landed.

It felt like a blink of an eye but suddenly Dan was a part of the small circle of civilians that Superman interacts with daily.

[mkarchin713]

Idea.

The world is in super big “Galactus is about to eat the planet” level trouble.

It’s all hands on deck, meaning the protégées are (highly reluctantly on the part of their mentors) fighting on the front lines.

The protégées are facing nigh certain death when suddenly their weekly nemesis Phantom appears to save them.

Phantom pulls out abilities they have never seen him use before and is saving their collecting keisters.

After the battle the protégées are super (ha!) confused.

Why did their nemesis protecting them? why didn’t he help the bad guys? What’s going on?

Wally, who has been insisting for weeks that Phantom is really a good guy being paid by their mentors to subtly train them, insists this is proof that he was right all along.

Some of the other sidekicks start thinking Wally could (shockingly) be right when Robin mentions one little problem.

Phantom’s eyes are green.

Whoever saved them had ice blue eyes.

Obviously the person who saved them is Phantom’s not evil twin.

Wally thinks Robin should lay back down, Batman would kill him if he let the concussed bird’s condition get worse.

Unfortunately for Wally the word of a brain damaged bat is better than his and now all the protégées think Phantom has a not evil twin and want to make their mentors recruit this unknown hero.

Danny Phantom:Villain for hire writing prompt

Danny goes to college after he becomes ghost king and gets bored when his life is no longer packed with chaos.

Sure he could head to the realms and fight some ghosts but that was just regular chaos and he wanted to mix things up a bit.

It’s around this time that Danny learns about the young protégés of the Justice league.

One day while the JL are at the watch tower having a meeting IN SPACE they are interrupted by a teenaged invader.

The whole team goes on the defensive when much to their surprise, the teen passes out his resume and pulls up a PowerPoint title “Phantom:Villain for hire”

He then goes on to explain that he’d been in the hero game for years in a small town where the media actively portrayed him as a villain for years before going completely dark on the matter when Vlad was kicked out of office.

He explains that he’d been in fights with various levels of villains and is incredibly versatile with his power output and fight difficulty.

Which is why he would be the perfect villain to have their protégés practice against!!

He can be their villain of the week that helps them learn valuable life lessons while giving them a very real challenge WITHOUT the risk of death or dismemberment!

he can even create schemes catered to lessons they want to teach their proteges

for a price of course….

years down the line when each of them officially join the league. one by one the team has a mental breakdown when they find the bane of their existence eating a bagel in the league cafateroa