#tiktok why did you think I

[waambles]

Scrolling tumblr all day, rejoicing in a beautiful world of kinky transgender furries. Only to open TikTok and get three different videos of gays shitting on puppy play. Disgusting, horrendous, embarrassing, back to tumblr I go

[not-the-coffee-machine4]

Me: *tries to see what the Queen fans on TikTok have to say*

*Jim hate*

*”facts” that may or not be actually true*

*”Freddie Mercury was bisexual-“*

*Using Barbara Valentin as evidence*

*thinking things that happened in the movie actually happened irl*

*general misinformation about everyone and everything*

Me: aaaaand back to Tumblr I go

(open tags at your own risk, there’s a whole essay in there)

[morgana-ren]

Love that Tumblr had banned nsfw artists and artwork, but the fuckin bot accounts are not only unbelievably rabid, but actively recommended to me to the point I scroll, report, scroll scroll scroll, report, scroll, report, report, scroll ad infinium.

They can catch a piece of artwork that shows a smidgeon of tit within literally 24 hours and delete it, but "hi ❤️ my name is JULIYYA and I have HUGE BREADSTS. Call me NOW ❤️" with a picture of some woman crotch out with her fingers fishing in is actively recommended to me.

You say your site is crashing and desperately needs money, and you say apple is SO STRICT about nsfw, so why aren't the bots a priority? Why are they seemingly actively propped by the site? Why are they allowed to TAG their spam WITH CHILD-FRIENDLY TAGS? Why hasn't apple shut us down already if they're so anti-nsfw when literally EVERYONE had a sexbot problem?

Watch this post get a mature content warning, ironically enough.

[batcavescolony]

I was talking to an idiot and I need validation.

[milowing]

"in the original myth medusa was a rape victim!" i'm literally banging my head against the wall

[vaperarmand]

AITA for getting angry because I wrongly guessed the identity of my companion’s boyfriend?

I (2000-ishM-ish) have been traveling with my companion (28F) for ages now. We’ll call her Claire. She’s been there for me through some big changes in my life, and I’ve improved her life a lot. We used to have a sort of thing, but I was married at the time, and now I think I’m too old for her. Anyway, onto the story.

Claire started dating her boyfriend (29M) at some point. I honestly don’t remember when and honestly can’t be bothered to. His name is Dave. He works at the same school as Claire does. I recently took on a temporary job at their school as a caretaker. I met several of the teachers there, including a very handsome young man who likes literature (Claire loves literature) and reminds me a great deal of my younger self. I didn’t know anything about the man Claire was seeing, so I assumed it was this man. It would make sense, I think, considering our past feelings for each other. As it turns out, however, this man is not Claire’s boyfriend, but instead she’s dating a former soldier who now teaches P.E. at the school!

I hate soldiers, and Claire knows this. I thought she hated soldiers, too. She told me so herself. She was very clearly lying to me all this time about this fact, and she was lying to him about me, too, presumably so we would never meet and I would never find out the truth. For a while, Dave believed I was Claire’s father, which I don’t mind, but she didn’t say anything to correct him. Dave mockingly saluted me and called me “sir,” and claimed I’m an officer. He implied very heavily that I’m dangerous to be around, which is complete nonsense, because I’m always saving Claire from dangerous situations. She never says no to traveling with me, even once leaving in the middle of dinner with Dave to go on a trip. I shouted at Dave for his blatant disrespect, but now Claire is upset with me for making things difficult between her and Dave — he’s angry with her for lying to him about how she was spending her time the past however long of their relationship. I don’t regret shouting at Dave, though. I really hate soldiers, and he’s no better than any of them.

I don’t know. It would be different if Claire was dating this lovely bowtie-wearing gentleman, who really looks so much like a younger me it’s uncanny, but you would think she wouldn’t date a soldier when she knows just how much I hate them?

EDIT: Many incessant commenters were asking, so I’ll clarify. Yes, I was a soldier centuries ago. Yes, I watched thousands of people die, and I believed for several centuries that I was responsible for the death of the entire planet. I don’t like to talk about it.

[lyfrassiredda]

introducing the unwilling captain of the Dynamos, former Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda! 

The AU where lyfrassir tries to hunt the prison mechs down with their shiny new eldritch powers (and a gun) for ditching them while their system was vored by a crusty imperialist’s eldritch sugar mommy.

Unfortunately, they’re not the only survivor of a Near Mechs Encounter interested in finding the crew of the starship Aurora— not by a long shot.

[thegirlwholied]

fellow period-piece swooners, I have a movie rec for you and I am downright flexing my hand about it. and I am sorry, so sorry, that you cannot watch it right now- because I attended the world premiere at TIFF last night and apparently it's still seeking distribution which means unfortunately there are no gifs yet for me to reblog - but this is your notice to keep a weather eye:

the movie is the Widow Clicquot. the plot is champagne!

...not the celebratory spritz and spray of it all, but the dedication and innovation and passion and knowing-your-taste-and-insisting-on-it of getting bubbles to be just the right size and fuck Napoleon's embargos actually...

also, the people expressing opinions about Napoleon are a British cast pretending to be French - which I guess appeals to the piece of my soul that is Les Mis.

it's beautifully filmed in a way I specifically associate with Pride & Prejudice 2005... which makes sense given the director, Thomas Napper, directed the second camera unit on P&P 2005 & Atonement & Anna Karenina & etc. Joe Wright, who directed those, is a producer here (and was on stage last night & I had no idea who he was whoops).

there's a scene of exploding champagne bottles that may haunt me forever the way the floating cotton in North & South 2004 does. that & the vines.

to quote Taylor Swift, "it's giving cinematography."

the Widow Clicquot herself is played by Haley Bennett (who has been in many things I haven't seen...yes I had to imdb Haley while sitting in the row right behind her but) who I have seen before in Music & Lyrics! As Cora Corman! "Way Back Into Love"! & "Buddha's Delight"- I believe in karma (la, la, la)

anyway she's great in this - the Q&A host after called her performance "transcendant", not wrong - she had a SAG-AFTRA waiver to be there, and thankfully because this was very apparently a passion project throw-everything-you-are-into-it role for her. And her post-movie quotes speaking both about the character's passion and her own- "do something that makes you feel like a goddess!"; "do what you love and let it kill you"- made me a fan.

the Widow Clicquot's dead husband? Tom Sturridge, The Sandman himself and playing just as much a dream as Dream (note: I do not promise "dreamy" I promise "dream" which can also have adjectives like "wild" and "fever" applied). You need a good voice when leaning on some voiceover from letters/memory for a character; he sure has it.

but. Sam Riley. aka Mr Darcy from Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, and Maleficent's hot raven (and looks even better in this imho)- his character is Louis Bohne, Veuve Clicquot's wine merchant, and as much as the Widow herself, his character made me go, "I need to read the book" to learn how much was history v fiction there.

the character dynamic was: damn, of course you're cool with your husband's libertine BFF/possibly-lover, you're secure and he's such fun company.... your husband's tragically gone but his friend helps you out & appreciates your true love of the vineyard without overstepping... well. get yourself a friend you can both giggle with over how hot the new foreman is (Leo Suter filling a historical-eye-candy role) ... AND hook up with yourself. you go girl, & bless your hot bisexual heart fictionalized Louis Bohne.

(hottest kiss in cinema off the top of my head is always the Timothy Olyphant & Jennifer Garner first kiss in Catch & Release. But some scenes here flirt with that level, & it was the Widow/Louis scenes for me).

the sound alone made this one worth seeing in theaters; sounds were so well used (maybe when a movie is so much about taste, & you can't convey taste through a screen, you double down on the senses you can) and it was scored by Bryce Dessner from The National (whose brother has been collaborating on Taylor Swift's recent best tunes)-

the Widow's name is Barbe-Nicole and not to make a Champagne Barbie reference but this hit in the spot Barbie also reached for, in a subtle way, with the effortlessly close relationship she has with her maid (Lizzie from Peaky Blinders! thanks imdb, knew I knew that face) and the woman in a man's world of it all - obviously one who created a successful dynasty of champagne and how did I never know how instrumental women have been in creating champagne as we know it, about to jump down a historical rabbit hole here-

+ also. grief. "you don't understand. he wasn't just someone's first love". an early line + the one that stuck with me.

anyway. not to say I think it's a perfect movie (there were a few "wait I need more information" beats that left me feeling like I *need* and not just want to read the book)... and it didn't make me think "this better be up for an Oscar" (One Life, with Johnny Flynn & Anthony Hopkins which I saw Saturday: made me cry & should be)- though I think it could be for sound!... and I don't know if I'd say it's the movie I enjoyed the most (Flora & Son, out Sept 29) or learned the most from (Paul Simon documentary, all 209 minutes of it, probably takes that of the 4 films I saw)-

But it's the one I'm writing this post about. & I'm going to get the book. It made me want a bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne. & to go to the champagne region. & to see gifs of it on my dash, immediately. & I would read fan fic if there was some- it built the characters and its own movie world enough for that, with enough space left to wonder- and when a movie can do that, it thrills me.

anyway Tumblr, or at least the side I always land on. I think you'd like it. I think it's your kind of movie too. and it's filled with a lot of love from people who clearly loved making it. here's to independent productions and the unions fighting for fair deals to make a living doing what they love, here's to feeling like a goddess, here's to gorgeous period pieces and gif makers of scenes to come, here's to the author in the audience who got to see her book on screen- and the movie star who got it made and all of us still working on making our own art into something that can be seen someday. Here's to the passion of creativity in whatever shape it takes, pour the champagne 🍾🥂

[wikiangela]

.

[bandzboy]

What did taehyung do ?

basically days he posted on a instagram a photo dump to be exact and for some reason a photo of him holding mcdonalds fries was in there and everyone was like ????? wtf is this ???? especially bc idols don't post brands like that unless they are being paid or have a contract with said brand or something like that everyone was disappointed on that day... i had to witness some of my mutuals unstanning and just being sad and disappointed because i mean... it has been months, everyone has spent a lot of time trying to get bts to speak up and sharing information about the boycotts and were met with radio silence so for taehyung months later to post a photo dump with mcdonalds fries just seemed like he just doesn't gaf and i understand their side because if i was a stan i would also be done and ready to quit stanning bc it's insane and very ignorant so yeah that's what happened

[invisible-brandy]

people need to learn to enjoy things for longer periods of time and not try to make all their past interests cringe just bc they feel that the teenage/kid version of them was cringe about said interest

[leyyvi]

aot fans putting unsolicited awful takes and tagging them in the main tags then getting surprised by other people dunking on them will always be astounding to me

[bedforddanes75]

desperately need tiktok ethel cain fans to know how stupid they are

[kavehater]

I’ll never understand younger siblings whining about their older siblings moving away like I bet yall were nasty and annoying too like wow all those years and you claim to adore the older sibling and post oh woe is me the older sibling abandoned me … girl … the older sibling didn’t have a parental certificate or anything.

[frozenambiguity]

So, hum. I just found out about a highly important Kaeya fact. In case you didn't know, apparently Kaeya has slightly different voice lines during the Caribert quest in the archives, concerning Mondstadt and his father.

And why is it important? Because saying:

«Maybe my father left me in the peaceful land of Mondstadt for no other reason than simply to give me a happier life... A happy life sounds good to me, of course. Even if it means being cut off from... certain things».

Is vastly different from saying:

«Maybe my father left me in the peaceful land of Mondstadt for no other reason than simply to keep me alive... As well as ensuring I'd be safely cut off from... certain things. The thought that I might be able to actually live a happy life there must have been the icing on the cake».

In case you want to confirm it yourself but are too lazy to go to the archives, check this tiktok! I've confirmed it in the archives myself, so it's the real deal, guys.

[lollytea]

The amount of POV tiktoks I see making fun of Pick Me/Not Like Other Girls is insane. Like "haha imagine being this desperate for male validation"

*throws together a 20 second skit that is near identical to the thousands of other 20 second skits because mocking these girls is what's trendy right now and you are also desperate for validation of some kind*