#though I do this rarely I’m just
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YOU GUYS ARE. SO NICE.
it has been a very very long time since I last interacted with any sort of fandom, and tbh I was terrified to start posting about IZ after a lot of what I’ve seen. but so far it’s been very positive and the vibe reminds me of old dA days when I was young and stupid BUT having a good time being my authentic self among other dorks 💜
I just wanna say how much I appreciate you. I read all the comments and tags but don’t often respond bc I’m hella shy AND bc tumblr is dumb and makes me respond from my main and I don’t want to confuse anyone LOL…
anyways. love u all byes 💜💜💜
#mina talks#y’all can blacklist this tag if you don’t want to see rambles#though I do this rarely I’m just#feeling emotional!!!! again!!!!!!
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hubby wanted a tres leches cake for his birthday and as it wound up i had stuff to make it double decker. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#what do we think?#i have more whipped cream; should i put it up the sides?#idk how well it’ll stick though#idk i very rarely have any luck with layer cakes so i’m just tickled
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kinda afraid to step in this discourse, most of all because i didn’t even finish the show yet (but i just finished s2!!!) but i’ve seen a lot of this fandom behavior and fandoms’ behavior in general.
and like i see a lot of bucktommys complaining about the buddie fandom (including in the buddie tag) but i never actually see the buddie fandom doing anything that terrible, like what i saw the most was them stating they don’t like tommy and even the actor that plays him, but they stayed in their lane and didn’t harass anyone?? maybe i’m in a privileged part of the fandom.
also, saw even people who claim to be from the buddie fandom talking about how this behavior is ruining the experience for them?? and i’m like what behavior?? and this is literally how fandoms work!!! there’s always fights!!!
all i’m saying is if it’s bothering you so much, just block these people (i know i did) and if it’s something truly serious, report them!!!
however, if it’s taking the joy out of the experience for you, maybe you’re just not that into it anymore.
#fandom discourse#911#buddie#bucktommy#chill out ig?#is what i’m trying to say#like ship wars always happen#and whatever you choose to ship is okay#just stay in your lane man#i’m blocking most things bucktommy#because i’m already pretty invested in buddie#and rarely do i multiship (if you do good for you my joy is just as big not multishipping)#though i do multiship sometimes too#but from what i have seen i don’t think i will like bucktommy much so#but i’m not attacking anyone for it#that’s all
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I don’t care if it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense for him to be there, but if Leon Kennedy is in RE9, it might heal me.
#these rumors make no sense but capcom rarely ever makes sense sometimes#I just need to know what my precious little baby blorbo has been doing for 7+ years b/c he needs to be doing fine (which is unrealistic)#but I digress#if he’s there… then that means someone (Chris) reached out to him and then that means someone (Chris) is a whole lot more important to him#I just need them to confirm and I’ll be happy#but seriously… if the rumors are true and we’re close to an announcement#that would really lighten my mood#though I’m still a little wary due to it supposedly going thru play testing… why can’t no one confirm if 1st or 3rd person??#whatever… just give me dilf Leon
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With all the Missing Numbers Doodles popping up today, I finally found it in me to actually doodle and not care about how it looked. Anyways—
Here is Aster’s Halloween Costume! I didn’t color it, but Aster is Little Red Riding Hood and Del is the Werewolf. He’s not trick-or-treating, by the way—he’s just handing out king-sized chocolate bars to everyone he passes while walking around!
It’s not much- Just a goofy little thing to celebrate the holiday. Happy Halloween, everyone!
(Psst-! Hey, @100nebulas ! Starry! I know it’s not a lot, but I promised! Here’s your small dose of Aster content :])
#Yippee!! I did a thing!#FINALLY-#A part of me is wondering if I should ramble about the Sanctuary AU a little bit…#Screw it why not?-#SO-! In Sanctuary all of the major holidays exist and are celebrated (Ex: Thanksgiving Christmas Fourth of July Halloween etc etc)#However because my AU is essentially set up to be one massive town/city/community#EVERYBODY celebrates things together in the form of what I can only call gigantic festivals#The denizens of Sanctuary (Yes the town is called Sanctuary too- I’m not good at naming things but it was what I wanted the place to be)#go ALLLL out on holidays- especially Christmas where they decorate the city centre like something straight out of a Disney Christmas film#Other holidays don’t slack though- There are games and vendor stalls and fresh food being made and just all around a community-#coming together to make something special and beautiful. Friends. Found Family. Coworkers. Neighbors. Everybody cares about everybody—#The people who live in Sanctuary didn’t always have the best lives#So most go out of their way to ensure that the newcomers really feel that sense of hope and belonging that Sanctuary was built to provide.#Hence why Aster doesn’t do tricks on Halloween—he just goes around giving out the best candy he can find to everyone he sees!#Even on spooky holidays everyone deserves to smile—that’s what he thinks. He especially likes to give out candy to people he’s never seen-#before (which is rare mind you-) so that he can make sure that they know someone cares about them.#Thats all for now though- maybe I’ll write more another time haha#Hopefully my rambling isn’t too nonsensical-
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what if i said i actually love too weird to live, too rare to die and think it’s underrated. what then.
#idk at least the time i’ve lurked around p!atd fandom stuff it feels like no one ever brought up this album 😭😭#vices and virtues too but at least then there was still leftover ryan ross scraps to hold onto#but like. idk i like the dark las vegas vibes of twtltrtd#i’m not the biggest fan of this is gospel but once you get past it it’s got some bangers ngl#one super minor gripe with the album is that i think the brobecks version of far too young to die is better than the twtltrtd version#it’s minor but it’s true. listen to both versions of the song and you’ll understand#my only real complaints though are just with the lyrical content of girls/girls/boys and casual affair#i like the songs themselves but the lyrics….. who let them cook actually#what was brendon doing. why are you singing about affairs like that whilst you’re a fully married man. ????#but honestly the transition towards the end of the album to more romantic songs is nice#i think it fits well and is a good way to slowly die the energy down without completely squashing it#the end of all things is genuinely a beautiful song but an even more beautiful ending to the album#the lyrics are brendon’s wedding vows and the piano is very nice#i like the effects on the vocals and i think they were a good choice to make everything even more cohesive#it doesn’t take away from the emotional value of the song and it also makes it fit better on the album than if it were just a regular#kind of piano ballad#but then also having collar full be the song leading up to it? even better#i fucking love collar full and agh. having it lead into the end of all things is perfect for it#it’s fun on its own but it’s even better in context i think#anyways. too weird to live too rare to die is an alright pop rock album. go listen to it if you want#me.txt
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My grade school teachers: Be careful of your thoughts, for they become your words…
Me, neurodivergent and has millions of intrusive thoughts:
warning: I talk about my intrusive thoughts in the tags
#cw rape#tw rape#cw murder#tw murder#for the tags >#I hate this saying so much#as someone who’s had many intrusive thoughts since childhood#(mostly about murder and rape)#this really fucked me up because I thought I was to be a rapist and a murderer#I don’t want to get into all the details but i was so mad at myself for thinking these things#because clearly I didn’t want to think them (ergo the term INTRUSIVE thoughts)#but no matter how many times I tried to “be careful of my thoughts”#then I started puberty and they got even worse#I couldn’t stop them so I just stopped interacting with people#I did learn to ignore them and just move on but it only made them worse#I’m doing better now#I rarely have intrusive thoughts (they do get really bad occasionally though)#but I was only really able to get here because I learned what intrusive thoughts actually are#and that I didn’t need to punish myself for them#anyway shout out to the folks who have really bad intrusive thoughts
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start of 2022 to june 2023 was the longest streak i ever went without going to the hospital outside scheduled appointments and not even a year later i have a nearly three week stint in the hospital and am back to being on a feeding tube 16 hours a day for the first time since i was a toddler. i usually joke about being disabled and stuff but this shit sucks. i hate that my health has just been insane since i’ve been in the womb and there’s absolutely no stability in terms of knowing how well i’m doing. stopped having hospitalized pneumonias when i was ten, then had one when i was 17 and like it’s been almost ten years but who knows!!! hopefully the next time i need heart surgery it’ll be a cardiac cath instead of open heart b it who’s to say!!! we never thought I’d be on a tube again but here i am at 26 and I’ve had two types just this month!!! all the doctors talking to me tell me how well i’m handling things and how complex my case is and how they hope they get me “back to normal” because i’m “just so young” and then just look sad when i say I’ve gotten used to this since birth. i’m just so fucking tired. this shit just doesn’t end y’know, you think you’re finally something close to normal and healthy and then you realize you were just going through a quiet period
anyway sorry for the vent post have a picture of my dear sweet friend pim pimling
#had a phlebotomist during my stay walk in and go ‘you’re too young to be here!’#and I try to joke and have a good attitude and just kind went ‘eh I’ve been in hospitals since I was a baby!’#and she just got quiet and sad and like. sorry. really wasn’t trying to bring the mood down#(she was right though. I was the youngest on the floor by about thirty years)#anyway one of my surgeons wants to present my case at a Gi conference so that’s fun#the thing is I have a lot of rare defects that aren’t inherently comorbid which is… complicated#I’ve had many doctors straight up admit they don’t know what to do with me#some of my disabilities are commonly comorbid but… a lot of them really aren’t. i’m just a weird mixed bag#and a lot of people even medical professionals have just never met anyone with some of my disabilities#they’re not like. ‘only a few hundred or thousand cases’ type of rare#but they’re ‘if you’re not a specialist you could probably never meet someone with this’ rare for some of them
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just thinking about aziraphale and crowley offering to spend time together in places related to their passions. like they dine at restaurants (food for aziraphale) and crowley found alpha centauri (stars/astronomy) for them to escape to. they’re just sharing their passions with each other and it makes me happy
#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#ineffable spouses#i’m so attached to them#i’m so excited to finish season two#not even just for them#but because i haven’t actually finished a show in possibly years#and i rarely watch this much of one#i do love their moments though
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uhhh so how would people feel about an explicit corvojess comic at some point in the future?? a thought struck me and my hand slipped and I have a 4-part thing planned out now in full detail. would people hate that or?
#is drawing jessamine naked allowed??#is that some sort of blasphemy in the fandom? bc I rarely see it#but I wanna draw her naked soooo#me making queer fan media: hell yeah lets do this#me making straight-ish fan media: HELP I’M SO SCARED SOMEONE HOLD MY HAND#i mean is it that straight though if I as a bi woman am down bad for her??#I’m just full of ideas lately#when what I really need to do is just finish my damn fic chapter by the deadline#the deadline I already extended by the way#and yeah the knifecrow shit has been put on the backburner bc of this lol sorry#I swing like a god damn pendulum#clark barks
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Not a single feature it seems!! Love to see it
THRILLLLLLLLLED by that I gotta say. I don’t get angry at features, but they don’t really do much for me. I much prefer to have 100% pure distilled Taylor Swift on the track please.
#I do think a few rare people are perfect fits though like Phoebe because of that meta commentary and haim was fun#and Lana added her atmospheric drunk crooning and that was great#colbie on breathe#a few more I can’t think of rn im sure but yeah I’m never mad to have JUST Taylor
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I never thought I would say this but Alecdora (ew) is so right in his opinion to question Yuno’s wish to become the Wizard King when Yuno failed to hold a friendly conversation with the other knights. He infuriates me to no end when he taunts Asta that he’s much more powerful & I know it’s only friendly rivalry but imo Yuno lacks that desire to connect with people. To me he seems only interested in protecting Asta & his family but that’s it. Asta makes friends along the way, he even questions why the Midnight Sun hates humans so much and even stops mid-fight to TALK!!!! Because he wants to understand what is going on!!!! I’m just pissed that Asta’s genuine care & interest in the clover community & his emotional growth as a person is rarely commented on in his rivalry with Yuno grrrr
#Like how do you wanna become the wizard king when you don’t show interest in your community?#maybe I’m too judgey even though we rarely get an episode about yuno#but whenever I see him I think ‘wow you learned a new magic trick but that’s it’#meanwhile asta befriended 737636262 people from different backgrounds & learned something new#about the lives of the people he eventually wants to protect as the wizard king#also ew I hope I will never share alexdora’s opinion bc he’s yucky too#like asta even inspired Nash to dream!!! to believe in a better future for himself even though he always thought that#he just lacked the abilities#PLEASE YUNO OPEN YOUR EYES!!!! magic isn’t the end all be all if you can’t find genuine compassion for your people!!!!#nana’s black clover saga 🍀
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matcha, coffee or tea?
truly depends on my mood like a cup of tea in the morning is so beautiful and then during the day a matcha is so so so nice .. coffee is also an option for me if there is nothing else lol but yes lately defo on a iced matcha hype :3
#i feel tea is for more peaceful moments and matcha is for when im out doing things lol#i v rarely have just coffee though i’m not the biggest fan#it doesn’t wake me up or anything and the taste is just so whatever for me#i#thank you ♡
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it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once they’re settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i don’t get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently i’ve hit a new low
#literally all my problems would be so much easier to deal with if i had friends#and normally i’d be told ‘do this and you’ll probably find friends’#my plan has always been just to wait for someone to find me bc i’m horribly shy and antisocial#even though logically i know that’s a bad way of going about it#my logical rational analytical brain has always been obsessed with finding concrete answers. it’s always been ‘what can *I* do’#so even when i suffer there’s a part of me that says ‘it’s ok once i’m done crying i can work this out and go right back to trying’#i’ve been emotionally dead for years but i’ve always held onto faith like that#tonight i feel like i’ve been brought low. i feel like i’ve finally been told that i might just have to wait after all#which i might think would be comforting bc it absolves me of responsibility#but it’s actually crushing bc it absolves me of power#i feel like i’m finally facing the realization that i’m powerless and pathetic and i’m never going to be able to fix myself#that i can try as hard as i want but i can’t shake off this cross#but i don’t know how long i have to wait for someone to find me#and even if they find me how do i not fumble it#my first instinct is to push people away bc i assume they’re not really interested they’re just trying to be nice#which is usually true#i don’t even know how to sustain casual friendships and im so desperately in need of deep ones#i can’t open up to someone without just breaking apart and making it clear how pathetic i am#one would think i ought to find someone better than myself who can fix me#but on the other hand i think the only time that the good parts of me come out is when im facing someone even worse than me#like i have a tendency to morph into the opposite of the other person in any given situation to maintain healthy balance#so like when surrounded by extroverts which is almost always i become an introvert#it’s rare to meet an introvert but then i become stronger and more extroverted around them. like something in me just loves helping others#even though i can’t help myself#what do i pray for? a fellow pathetic person? or someone with the patience and kindness and life knowledge of a saint?#will either of them really be found just by chance in my life?#and even if i do meet someone. truly i wish they’d also be lonely. i want them to need me#i don’t want to be a pity charity case. like a side project for someone with real friends already
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you ever try to cash a check and it doesn’t work for four different reasons and three bank trips later you find out you still have to wait a day to withdraw cash? yeah me neither (lie)
#my nonsensical babble#and the worst part is is that I have no one to be mad at really#like. it was my boss’s initial mistake (writing the wrong date)#but it’s such a little thing that I can’t really blame him?#and he’s really nice honestly so it’s hard to be mad about the stupid little annoying things#and I also genuinely like my job like. I got so so lucky getting to do a thing I like for my first job#I know that’s rare#aww so now I’m just happy#I was upset at the bank though hoo boy#and my mother LAUGHED AT ME#the mere mortal took enjoyment in my plight
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i love my cat more than anything but why is he such a bullyyyyy
#anytime his sister does something he slightly doesn’t like he gets violent with her#she’s incredibly shy and doesn’t really like humans#so it’s rare she actually comes up to me for pets + attention#but then he just starts attacking her because he wants all the attention for himself and she runs off#jokes on him though cause then he doesn’t get any attention anyway cause i’m mad at him#whenever he does something she doesn’t like she just sits there and accepts it#like a few months ago#generally he has like a few favorite spots he likes to sleep in when no one’s around#and he’ll rotate through them#spend a few weeks always sleeping in *incert location here*#and then choose a new spot and sleep there for a few weeks#but she only has one specific spot she likes#occasionally she’ll sleep somewhere else#but if you’re looking for her chances are she’ll be in that one spot#well one time a little bit ago#he decided that his sleeping spot of choice was going to be HER spot#so he just stole it from her for a few weeks#and i’d see him sleeping in there and her awkwardly sitting outside of it#clearly wanting her spot back but not doing anything about it#she doesn’t seem TOO bothered by his bullying#(at least as far as I can tell)#but still it makes me sad for her#so anyway i hope yall liked reading about the drama between my cats#cat tag#op
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