#occasionally she’ll sleep somewhere else

[catboywizard]

i love my cat more than anything but why is he such a bullyyyyy

[baeksqt]

𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 — lena oberdorf

lena oberdorf x gerwnt!fem!reader

(a/n: a small piece for lena cause I miss her (ಡ‸ಡ) so I hope you enjoy this! also my inbox is finally open for requests so go ahead my lovelies)

word: 586

genre: fluff + angst (?)

summary: clueless lena has you in a tight grip

The warm summer air soothed your skin as Lena laid on top of you on the loveseat sofa, hoping to nap the evening away. You could finally see each other with training camp in full swing for the international break. You run a lazy hand through Lena’s hair, absentmindedly scrolling through your phone as Lena drifts in and out of sleep. The comfortable silence between the two of you was accented by the subdued commentary of the football game on TV and Lena’s occasional snore.

You notice her eyebrows furrow in discomfort, followed by a huff as she shifts and wraps her arms around your waist. Gently withdrawing your hand from her hair, you begin to trace it down her back, taking in the contours and nuances of her musculature.

“When are you heading back to Spain?” Her question startled you slightly, the vibrations of her voice resonating against your stomach.

“Somewhere around the last week of August.” You sighed in response, knowing that there wasn’t much time between the Olympics and you heading back to your respective club, Barcelona.

“Are you going back with Alexia?” Lena then looked up at you with delicate brown eyes, a soft wrinkle appearing on her forehead as her chin poked your stomach, toying with the gold charms on your necklace.

You pout at her subtle protectiveness so cupping her cheeks, and combing the flyaway hairs from her face.

“Yeah…” you replied, pausing for a moment, “that shouldn’t change anything.” mumbling to yourself. To that, Lena swiftly sat up, letting go of your necklace as a puzzled expression formed across her face.

“You realise that she’s interested in you, right? I don't even have to be there for me to know that.” She inquired with a firm voice and piercing eyes.

“And it’s very much one-sided.” You finished her sentence as your hand now replaced hers in fiddling with the delicate pendant, avoiding her gaze as you finished her sentence. You were well aware of Lena’s feelings about your friendship with Alexia, throwing a small sarcastic comment here and there whenever you mentioned her in a conversation. Since moving to the Catalan region, you had noticed Alexia's growing fondness for you, but you had been subtly declining her advances as you already had feelings for someone else.

That someone else was now sitting in between your legs, waiting to be upset with you. Inspecting her face for a moment, hoping she’ll respond.

“I know, that doesn't sound believable at all, but the feelings aren't mutual on my end.” your pendant slipped out of sweaty fingertips, as you spoke. “So, for when you get your act together, I’ll still be here.” throwing her a nervous smile.

“What do you mean by that?” Lena fixed you with a piercing glare but a hint of softness sat behind her eyes, arms folded across her chest.

The tension in the room was palpable, the unspoken emotions lingering between you like a heavy cloud.

“Well, when you're ready to admit that we are more than friends, you won't have to worry about anyone else.” you motioned between the two of you, taking her hand and placing it back onto your necklace pendant, your heart pounding underneath.

“I can promise you that I won’t keep you waiting.” Lena’s face lit up with a shy yet genuine smile, placing a tender kiss on your lips. Leaving you with warm cheeks and a deep sense of contentment, knowing that her promise was sealed with that tender kiss.

[mouwrites]

Creepypasta/MH - Holding Hands

Characters: Nina the Killer, Jane the Killer, Clockwork, Ticci Toby, Tim/Masky, Jeff the Killer, Eyeless Jack

Nina the Killer

Hand-holding is a must with her

Especially when you’re walking

She’s very casual about it, simply interlacing your fingers as you start walking somewhere

She likes to link arms while she holds your hand, getting as close as possible to you

But she’ll be totally nonchalant about it, talking normally as if you weren’t literally joined at the hip

You already know her hands are soft, and they smell like sweet scented lotion

Her grip is gentle until she gets excited

You can always tell when she’s getting worked up because she’ll start to squeeze your hand

Not to the point that it’s painful, but you’ll definitely notice it

If she gets super excited she’ll run in front of you, still holding your hand

You’re just getting dragged at that point

She will not let go of your hand until she absolutely has to

And even then she’ll prolong the contact for as long as possible, sometimes dramatically stretching her arm to hold on by your fingertips

She just loves holding hands :) it’s how she shows she cares

Jane the Killer

Though she won’t admit it at first, she does like holding your hand

At the beginning of the relationship she’ll be super shy about it, going red at the slightest brush of your hands

But gradually she’ll get more comfortable, going from linking pinkies to full-on hand holding

She prefers to do it when you’re sitting alone somewhere

But if you want to hold hands while you walk, she might be down

Depends on the crowd you’re with

If you’re all alone at the mall or something, she’ll probably be more inclined because she wants to keep track of you

But if you’re with a bunch of people you know, she’ll be a bit less receptive to hand holding

When you do hold hands, she likes to cradle your hand in hers

She gives occasional squeezes as signs of affection, shooting you loving glances as she does so

Her hands aren’t too soft, but they’re not rough either

Just normal skin tbh

Clockwork

She reaches for your hand whenever she’s idle

She’ll be retreating into the recesses of her mind, and suddenly her hand is resting atop yours

She likes the feeling of something fleshy in her hand while she thinks

She will squeeze your hand if her thoughts start to get intense

And depending on how intense those thoughts are, you might have to tell her to ease up a little so she doesn’t break your hand

She’ll even start to dig her nails in if you don’t say anything

But if her thoughts are more calm, she’ll gently brush your knuckles with her thumb

Her hands are slightly calloused, especially in the colder months

She’ll be sure to compliment your skin, even if it’s rough like hers

She’s not big on hand holding while walking/in public, unless you’re on a scenic walk and she starts to daydream

If you insist, she might let you hold her pinky or something

But she’d honestly prefer to have full usage of her hands

Ticci Toby

For him, hand-holding is a more pleasant alternative to more harmful manual activities

In other words, he won’t scratch or pick at himself when he’s holding your hand

He doesn’t really notice this though, so you’ll have to be sneaky about it if you want to use it to help him

Luckily he loves holding your hand anyway

So when you hold out your open palm, he smiles and slaps his hand into yours

His hand will be completely still; he won’t even squeeze or brush your knuckles

It’s almost a little eerie; like you’re holding a sleeping person’s hand

It’s also completely unlike him to be so calm

Of course, he’ll probably be occupied doing something else while he’s holding your hand, but still

His skin is very rough, and it’s covered in band-aids and scabs

But if you use your little hand-holding trick often enough, you’ll notice the damage reducing significantly

Somehow he doesn’t notice this either

He’s just happy that you seem to like to hold his hand :)

Tim/Masky

Not really a big hand-holder

He’s just not all that physically affectionate

He can get into it if you’re into it, but he usually won’t initiate it himself

It’s only when he’s tired or upset that he seeks your hand

It’s an intimate action for him, one that he reserved for when he needs some intimate affection

He’ll sit or lay close to you, wordlessly taking your hand into his

He’ll stare at it, brushing his thumb over your knuckles and fingers as if trying to distract himself

Because he probably is

Eventually he’ll close his eyes, and the tight grip he has on you will ease up

He might even fall asleep like that

His hands are big and a little rough on the back

His palms are much softer though, so holding his hand is pretty pleasant

Jeff the Killer

He does actually like hand holding

When he can remember it, anyway

It’s not his first thought to grab your hand when you’re near

But when it does occur to him, he’ll happily grab your hand

It’s usually an abrupt motion in the middle of a walk/conversation

He’ll give you a huge grin and proceed with a little more gladness in his demeanor

He doesn’t like to hold hands in more calm situations though

It’s just awkward for him; he sees hand-holding as an activity to supplement something more active like a walk

So if you reach for his hand while cuddling or something, he’ll squirm out of your grasp pretty quickly

His hands are surprisingly soft, which is weird because you know this man hasn’t touched a bottle of lotion in years

He’ll make fun of you if your hands aren’t as soft, telling you that you need some lotion

Just tell him he’s a hypocrite and he’ll shut up

Eyeless Jack

Sort of like Tim, he reserves hand-holding for more intimate moments

When he’s walking, he likes to be as alert and efficient as possible

Hand-holding is a damper to that, so he’ll politely refuse to hold hands while walking

He’ll gladly take your hand in his when relaxing, though

It’s calming for him to rub your knuckles while talking at the end of a long day

He loves to study the lines on your hand, your nails, the shapes of your fingers—everything

It’s just a very relaxing activity for him :)

His hands are fairly soft, but you can definitely tell he doesn’t use moisturizer often

Plus his nails are very sharp, so sometimes he’ll have little scratches on his palms

He tries so hard not to scratch you, and will apologize endlessly if he does

It does give him an excuse to kiss your hand when he does scratch you, though, so he’s not totally remorseful

How scandalous…. I hope you guys enjoyed!! Thank you for reading, and take care of yourselves little stars <33

(divider by saradika)

[tazzertopia]

phantom troupe: do they snore?

this idea for phantom troupe hcs came to me randomly at 2:00am last night so enjoy xoxo

chrollo

-probably not unexpected but not really

-he’s generally a super quiet sleeper

-the loudest he ever is in his sleep is breathing loudly on occasion

-his lack of snoring is most likely attributed by the fact he’s a very light sleeper

-he’s one of those bitches who will wake up because the whistling of the wind was slightly louder than usual

uvogin

-his ass sounds like a heavy metal concert when he sleeps

-his snores are earth-shaking. ear-splitting. pain-inducing.

-his snores single handedly contribute to noise pollution

-think of how loud your dad snores and x1000

-if the troupe members have to share a room at any point during a mission, they will throw a whole rock paper scissors tournament to see who’s taking one for the team and sacrificing their sleep (it’s usually nobunaga)

-because covering his mouth with a sock doesn’t stop the snoring, the troupe have an emergency weighted blanket on standby

-the complete opposite of chrollo, this man could sleep in an active war zone and and not budge an inch (in other words you cannot wake his ass up by force to get him to stop snoring so the only option is to wait it out or sleep somewhere else)

pakunoda

-the most silent sleeper ever

-not even a peep from miss pakunoda

-the ideal person to share a bed with. she doesn’t snore, her breathing is inaudible and she’s extremely still

-almost unnerving in a way bc she looks dead when she sleeps

-if you were to share a bed with her you’d probably spend most of the night checking her pulse to ensure she is actually alive and breathing

phinks

-he’s one of those people who when he snores the buildup is super loud but he exhales quietly (i hope that makes sense)

-ljke the buildup is super dragged out like ��hhhHhhhhhhUUUHHHUUUH but the exhale is just hoooooooo !!

-idk how to express snoring via text so you may have to act it out to know what i mean

-honestly this type of snoring is arguably worse than uvogin’s bc at least his is consistent whereas phinks will give you hope that he’s finally stopped snoring until it starts up again ☹️☹️😢

-he will forever deny he snores tho

feitan

-comedic ass snore

-probably snores like mimimimimimimimi zzzzzzzzz 😴💤😴💤😴💤

-he sleeps like he should be wearing a night cap and a long night gown with a candle on his bedside table

-trying not to piss yourself laughing while he’s snoring if you’re still awake is an olympic level sport

-one time shalnark recorded him while he was snoring and showed it to him (when he was down with him, he ensured the recording was eradicated from his phone)

-ik realistically he would probably be a silent sleeper but the idea of him sounding like a whole cartoon character is actually hilarious to me

shalnark

-sleep? WHAT’S THAT? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 (get it because he’s the tech whiz so he probably stays up all night gaming lololololol XDD)

-probably a loud ass mouth breather

-like he sounds like a broken ventilator sometimes

-he sounds like he ran a lap around mt everest before bed why is he so loud

-if you pissed him off during the day he would probably amp up the volume on his breathing to prevent you from sleeping well (now we’re both mad xx)

shizuku

-for the most part very quiet

-occasionally she will jumpscare you awake by randomly snoring out of no where

-like you’ll wake up to this loud ass noise only to realise it was just shizuku

-sometimes she’ll wake up aswell and accuse you of snoring

-aside from that pretty quiet- not as ideal to share a bed with as pakunoda but fine for the most part as long as you don’t mind surprises

nobunaga

-i feel like he’d have one of those super low growly snores ???????

-like those low, shaky ones

-the ones that kinda sound like grunts

-idk if i’m making sense so i pray i am 🙏

-they’re not that bad tho bc they’re quiet enough to not keep you awake and are low-key kinda relaxing

-if you’re gonna share a bed with anyone who snores, it’s nobunaga

machi

-another generally quiet sleeper except for occasionally sighing in her sleep

-from time to time she’ll just go like huhhhhhhhh :// and then will go back to being quiet again

-don’t bring it up the next day tho bc she WILL deny it and seem embarrassed

-you can tell when she’s having a nice dream based on how often she sighs

franklin

-surprisingly quiet

-you wouldn’t expect his oversized enormous ass to be quiet but he is

-similar to chrollo, the most you’re getting out of him is some occasionally loud breathing

-aside from that he’s a quiet sleeper

bonolenov

-i feel like bc of the holes in his body he’d probably make a whistling sound in his sleep

-like a pan flute

-not the worst tho bc like nobunaga it’s low high key relaxing

-free asmr what could be better xxx

kortopi

-quiet as hell

-are we really surprised

-sorry to the two kortopi fans out there but i can’t be bothered to think of anything to add on he’s just quiet

another tazzertopia classic 💯💯💯💯 if you like these hc posts pls give me requests (idk if the ask box is visible on my profile but do it through here or via the comments) bc these are super fun, i can also do other characters too !!! if i do more i might start doing them for other shows anyways bye xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

[just-mary-ann]

I understood that it's easier to make chapters rather than one large work. So here we go.

TADC HARLEQUIN AU SHOWTIME by @tadc-harlequin-au

Part two of a sequel to my fanfic "Purple"

Part one is here

Lilac

⚠️WARNING ⚠️ A litle suggestive.

_________________________________

“Pomni. Pomni.” Caine’s voice came from somewhere outside.

Pomni opened her eyes and found herself in the Puppetmaster’s embrace. A book he had been reading lay nearby, but now he was more interested in something else.

“Are you okay? You were hissing with anger in your sleep.” Caine adjusted a strand of her hair and placed a hand on her cheek.

Pomni understood why Lilac was so eager to come out. These touches were special. Only she could experience them. Only her body. But now, with her consciousness split into two halves, she would have to... share.

“I don’t want to...” Pomni began to shake.

“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t realize you’d had enough.” Caine awkwardly removed his hand from the Harlequin's face.

Pomni aggressively grabbed Caine by the neck and pulled him close.

“I don’t want to share you with anyone,” she growled. “But if I don’t do this, she’ll keep rummaging through my memories.”

“Pomni. Who is she? Share with whom?” Caine stroked Pomni's back.

Pomni pulled away.

“Remember a couple of weeks ago when my character block short-circuited?” Receiving a wary but affirmative nod from Caine, she continued. “The second personality didn’t disappear. She’s still in my head. And she’s rummaging through my memories like a damn raccoon.” Pomni sighed. Caine hugged her shoulders. “She especially likes the memories of you, and she wants to make her own. So we made a deal. I let her out occasionally to have fun and cuddle with you, and she leaves my memory card alone.”

Caine’s gaze dulled.

“Wait. I have to entertain your second personality? What happens if I refuse?”

“No one’s asking you!” Pomni showed her sharp teeth. “Basically, give Lilac what she wants, and I’ll be free.”

Pomni stood up and walked to the window.

“Pomni. Wait.” Caine followed her.

Pomni looked at the starry sky. The absence of the moon bothered her.

“Damn new moon. Why did it have to come right now?”

Pomni closed her eyes and turned to Caine. She took the band off her hair, and the locks flowed over her shoulders. She curtsied and opened her eyes. Her right eye, purple, shone brightly.

“How glad I am to see you again, Mr. Puppetmaster.”

And again, that smile, that voice, they had changed beyond recognition. That softness, tenderness, vulnerability. Caine remembered them as if he had just met Lilac yesterday. He stepped back. She stepped forward. The Puppetmaster retreated, and Lilac continued to follow him. At some point, he stumbled against the bed. The Harlequin smirked slyly. She adjusted the collar of Caine's unbuttoned shirt.

“It seems you were about to sleep. Mind if I join you?” her half-closed eyes sparkled with desire.

“No. Yes. I don't know.” Caine ran his hand over his head. “Lilac, right? I don't want to entertain you. My heart belongs to Pomni, not you. Give her back control over the body.”

Lilac tilted her head thoughtfully. Her finger slowly and calculatingly tapped her cheek.

“Fine. If you don't want to, then you don't want to.” she spread her arms.

“Really?” Caine's gaze dulled.

“Yes.” Lilac clasped her hands behind her back and headed to the door. “I'll just find someone else to spend the night with. Ragatha seemed nice. Or I could get to know Jax.”

Instantly, Caine snapped out of it and teleported to the door. He grabbed the Harlequin by the shoulders as she was about to open the door.

“You are not going anywhere. Especially not to Jax!”

“Oh, oh, oh. Mr. Puppetmaster. Is someone getting jealous?” Lilac tried to kiss him, but he pushed her away.

“Just because I won't let you roam around the mansion doesn't mean I'll spend time with you.”

“Ugh. Caine. What's wrong? I don't understand.” Lilac brushed off his hands and rubbed her nose bridge. “Pomni's body, Pomni's face, everything is Pomni. What don't you like?”

“But here.” he pointed a finger at her forehead. “it's not Pomni. I love her confidence, her unyielding nature, her persistence, her bravery. I fell in love with her soul. And you are her opposite. So sorry, but I won't love you.” his eyes now showed anger. “Do you understand? Give me back my woman!”

“Oh, Caine.” Lilac took his hand. “I am not Pomni's opposite. I am her other side. The side she fears. And since you love her, you should love me too, because I have always been, am, and will be a part of her consciousness.”

Caine looked at Lilac's hand. Usually, when he held Pomni's hand, it had a firm and strong grip. But this touch was gentle and light.

“I still need to learn more about you.” Caine said with a light chuckle.

“So why don't we learn more about each other? Now?” Lilac finally managed to kiss Caine.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he hugged her waist. There was no passion or lust in this kiss, but love flowed from Lilac. Caine felt a strange déjà vu, as if Pomni had already kissed him like this. Which was strange, because his kisses with her were filled with fire and insatiability. Lilac pulled away. The tip of her tongue still peeked out from her slightly parted lips. She smiled sweetly. Caine awkwardly looked away.

“How about I go change, and you wait for me here?” Lilac put one hand behind her back and ran the other over the lower half of Caine's head. He, not understanding why, raised his head in embarrassment.

“N... no...” Caine moved Lilac's hand away from himself and cleared his throat. “better yet, I'll take you to Pomni's room and you can change there. Under my supervision.”

Lilac's cheeks blushed. She clasped her hands together.

“Fine.”

“You agreed surprisingly quickly.” Caine looked suspiciously at Lilac.

“I just liked your wording.” Lilac made a strange sound with her lips, something like "POP".

To be continued

[theflatpackangel]

Percabeth headcanons because I’m insane;

- Percy gets Annabeth book shaped earrings one time because I say so

- Annabeth has a PRINTED photo album of the bad/odd photos she has of Percy (featuring several of him sleeping in odd places and one of him perched at the edge of a lake having an apparently very interesting conversation with a fish)

- they’re both as obsessed as eachother

- if they’re watching a show and the other person watches a single second without them, it’s going to end poorly

- they make the long drive to visit sally all the time, Estelle adores Annabeth and Percy is both flabbergasted and planning out the future

- I feel like their wedding would be at camp half blood, or just like, on a cliff somewhere, because it feels right

- Annabeth is (obviously) an architect but Percy either works in teaching people to swim or the olympics, and in his free time is basically just Annabeths stay at home husband (think someone said this before??)

- they share a YouTube account, so their feed is just: horror games and doll re roots (Percy; he finds them satisfying) conspiracy theories and book bindings (Annabeth; self explanatory)

- their apartment complex sees them all the time in the first few weeks and thinks “oh they seem like a nice, normal, friendly couple” but then they swear they see the two of them carrying a strangely sword like looking object and a helmet

- Annabeth watches documentaries whilst she designs things, occasionally one about the ocean will come on, and she’ll just hear Percy laugh from where ever he is (the bed, the couch, sat next to her whatever) and she’s like “what?” And he’s just like “that crab has a foul mouth” (I’m pretty sure this is someone else’s headcanon but I don’t remember)

- Percy ‘worlds most distracting boyfriend’ Jackson will do crazy shit whilst Annabeth’s in a zoom call, she’ll be asked to unmute but Percy is too busy performing the grease soundtrack to the entirety of the street so she can’t

- Annabeth likes to get him back, so whilst he’s doing his Percy things™️ she’ll just flop down on him and either be reading or just doing nothing, and he’ll just be like, writing a letter to Grover or smth (can you tell I didn’t know what he could be doing?) whilst she’s just sat on him with no care in the world

- they have a Spotify blend titled “hoe shit+annabeth” courtesy of Percy and his respect for women (it’s the most chaotic blend ever, but it works)

- they planned to propose to eachother on the same night and it essentially looked like that one Spider-Man meme

This was inspired by a TikTok I saw about book shaped earrings, it clearly escalated

[fuckyeah-jessicabiel]

GQ Magazine - July 2007

The Summer of Jessica Biel

To celebrate Biel’s being in a movie actually worth seeing, we sent Adam Stein to play carnival games with her.

When I told various friends I’d be interviewing Jessica Biel, I got the responses you’d expect—jealousy, mild rage, a plea to give her a phone number because she’s the one person that a friend’s wife would give him a free pass to sleep with. The uncanny thing is, when I asked these guys what they thought of her as an actress, most of them drew a blank. They hadn’t seen a single motion picture of hers. Okay, one or two had girlfriends who’d brought them to see The Illusionist, but otherwise, nada. As my friend Taj put it: “I’m obsessed with a girl I’ve never seen move.“

Well, that’s about to change. Later this month, men across America will see Jessica being very good in a very funny movie, and the nature of their love for her will…deepen. She’ll still be inhumanly beautiful, sure, but now they’ll have to contend with genuine talent, too, and that one-two punch can be disorienting. You know what else can? The fact that despite her recent tabloid exposure, she’s actually sweet, funny, earnest, occasionally a little crude, and—if my time playing carnival games with her can be used as evidence—uniquely driven to conquer whatever stands between Jessica Biel and what she wants.

I am waiting for her at the Santa Monica Pier, sitting on a stool next to one of those games where you shoot water from a gun into a clown’s mouth. I haven’t shaved for a week, because I read somewhere that Jessica Biel likes guys with beards. I’m inspecting mine in the reflective back of my iPod when a nice-looking young woman materializes in my view. “Excuse me,“ she says. “Are you Adam?“ “Jessica?“ I ask, ridiculously. Of course it’s her, in wraparound sunglasses, an open gray sweater over a white blouse, and faded jeans. She wears checkered Vans, like Jeff Spicoli. On the pier, no one recognizes her, which I suppose makes sense: There’s little resemblance between the pinup girl and the sneaker-wearing civilian out on a Monday afternoon. She doesn’t stick out as we walk the wooden planks of the amusement park; she blends in. She is, you might say, a very chill girl.

“Can we get a photo next to a star?“ she asks, stopping in front of a booth hawking photographs with huge cardboard cutouts of celebrities. It’s an impressive, eclectic array: Bill Clinton, Mini Me, Michael Jordan, Hilary Duff, Enrique Iglesias(!), Jean-Claude Van Damme, DiCaprio in Titanic. “They’re all kind of old,“ she says. I don’t know if she means the cutouts or the celebrities themselves (because to me, Mini Me will never age). She’s only 25 years old, so it could go either way. I ask her who she’d most want to pose with. She scrutinizes the assembly and makes her call: “I’d probably pick Van Damme, ‘cause he looks the coolest.“ She takes the Muscles from Brussels over Leo—a victory of might over sensitivity. Nice.

Then she decides it’s time for the games to begin. She passes up the Riptide Ring Toss (“That one is impossible,“ she says) and focuses her attention on the Pier Plank Plunge. The PPP is basically a rope ladder suspended horizontally over an inflatable mattress. The trick is to climb, perfectly balanced, to a taunting red button placed approximately ten feet away. Press the button, win the prize—an enormous Sonic the Hedgehog. I ask her if she’s ever Pier Plank Plunged before. “Yes,“ she says, assessing the structure, looking for its weaknesses. “But I’ve never been able to achieve it.“ She begins barraging the bored-looking carny with questions. “Do you have any tips?“ (It’s all about balance.) “Have you done it before?“ (Nope.) “Has anyone ever won?“ (Yeah.) “Has anyone won today?“ (Not yet.) She turns to me, and I have to say she seems genuinely excited. “This is our chance,“ she says. “It’s our chance to win.“ I’m beginning to get the distinct impression that winning is important to Jessica Biel. “Ladies first“ being the imperative, I take the initial go-round. It’s harder than it looks. My arms shake. Everything shakes. I can feel her hopefulness—Do it, get there—but I fall off within seconds. The shame is truly surprising. I wanted to do it for Jessica and failed. She throws me a “good try“ before stepping up herself.

Jessica was a gymnast when she was younger, and the training appears to be paying off as she mounts the unstable rope ladder. (It also occurs to me that the view I currently have is one the paparazzi would kill for.) She deploys a disciplined crawl, gets tantalizingly close to the red button, reaches for it—and loses her balance, flips over, and lands flat on the cushion, laughing. “Holy shit,“ she yells. “It’s so hard. That’s so frustrating.“ The carny asks if we’d like to try again. She pauses for a moment, looking at the button, and then, with obvious reservations, demurs. “You were really, really close,“ I tell her. “I know,“ she says, still staring at it, reluctant to move, apparently, without conquering the damn thing. “That’s how it gets you.“

Next up is something called the Hi-Striker, a game in which you swing a mallet to test your strength. I take three feeble swings, each one less successful than the last. A huge Hispanic man laughs every time I bring the mallet down on the metal block, and when I exit the cage and hand it off to the female attendant, she takes one exhibition swing and makes my emasculation complete. Up goes the projectile. Ping goes the bell.

J.B. watches, rapt. “Look at her awesome stance,“ she whispers, absorbing the details, memorizing the motion. Some actors “find“ their characters via a process of internalization—investigating emotions, plumbing psychology, creating an “inner life.“ This is known as the inside-out approach. Other actors work outside-in—developing a walk, a gesture, a physicality. Look at, say, Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby. Look at Jessica Biel in the Hi-Striker cage.

Mimicking the attendant’s, her first swing easily skunks my best effort. And she improves with each attempt. She’s getting into character. As she exits the cage, there’s a look of satisfaction on her face. She returns the mallet to the attendant, who looks at me and says: “She did better than you.“ As we leave, I ask her: “Is it more technique than strength?“ She shakes her head. “Brute strength,“ she says. “You just throw it up and slam it as hard as you can.“ On our way off the pier, we pass Zoltar, the animatronic fortune-teller who turned that kid into Tom Hanks in Big. Zoltar senses us and speaks: “Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.“ Zoltar makes Jessica smile. She digs his philosophy.

Jessica Biel’s destiny, at least of late, has led her to a prominent place in the trashy supermarket gossip rags. First it was snapshots of social excursions with second-banana studs (Chris Evans, Ryan Reynolds). Then, upping the ante, there was a beach fling with a sports icon (Derek Jeter). And then, in February, she grabbed the tabloid brass ring for reportedly nabbing the world’s most eligible bachelor, Justin Timberlake. Unsurprisingly, it’s not something she’ll discuss.

One thing she is happy talking about, though, is the unladylike girth of her knuckles. We’re getting dinner at an unassuming Italian trattoria across the street from the pier when she flashes those meaty joints and describes her nascent production company. “It was almost called Fat Knuckle Films. Because I have fat knuckles. See?“ she asks. “They don’t really look that way until you start putting rings on them, and then it stops right there.“

I have to say, Jessica Biel’s chunky midfingers are endearing, human, attainable—a word she uses a number of times in our conversation, as if to remind the world that she’s just a regular girl from Boulder, Colorado, who happens to have been called, by Esquire magazine in 2005, the Sexiest Woman Alive.

“At first I felt really embarrassed about it,“ she says. “You know, it’s a weird thing to talk about. Like, ‘Hey, guys. Guess what?’ You don’t just go telling everybody that.“ She shifts her weight forward and goes on: “But after I got over that, I just started to embrace it. I started thinking, If I ever do have kids, and if they have kids, I can tell them: ‘You know what? Your grandma in 2000-and-whatever was the Sexiest Woman Alive. How about that, kids?’ That’s what I started to think about. I’ll always have that picture to say, ‘That’s what Granny used to look like.’ “

Before coming out here to get my ass handed to me at the Hi-Striker, I immersed myself in Jessica Biel’s Collected Works. She got her start in the mid-’90s on 7th Heaven, the WB dramedy that made a splash with the moral-values set, before leaving around 2002 for bigger (and badder) things. It’s been a grim scene ever since: Summer Catch (2001), which starred Freddie Prinze Jr. and stands at number forty-nine on Rotten Tomatoes’ 100 Worst- Reviewed Films of All Time. The Rules of Attraction (2002), notable only for Fred Savage shooting heroin between his toes and saying things like “I can feel my dick.“ (Remarkably, Biel comes across as fresh and charming, despite the astonishing pointlessness and nihilism of the flick.) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), which was Biel’s first top billing and is her biggest box-office performer to date, with a take of about $80 million. J.B. screams her head off throughout the movie and is entirely believable in distress, but you can’t help thinking as you watch her, There’s got to be better material than this. Sadly, no. There was an atrocity called Cellular, in 2004, and Blade: Trinity that same year (in which Biel kicks much undead ass as a midriff-baring vampire hunter). But the nadir has to be London, in ’06, a delusional piece of trash that starts off with a sex scene, Biel on top, saying, “Are you coming? Are you coming?“ before she proceeds to another not-quite-dignified act and then dips out of the frame to, presumably, swallow. Like I said, a grim scene.

And then, just in the nick of time, salvation arrived. A script called The Illusionist, to star Edward Norton and Paul Giamatti. There was a problem, though. The filmmakers didn’t want to give Biel an audition. They weren’t convinced the vampire-hunting Hollywood creation could rearrange herself into the role of a refined fin de siècle Hungarian duchess.

But Jessica Biel has a hard time taking no for an answer. And when another actress “dropped out“ of the film, her tenacity paid off. They finally brought her in. She arrived wearing a full period costume. She made them take her seriously, she says, and three days later, an offer arrived.

The Illusionist wasn’t what you’d call a “hit,“ but it got good reviews, made decent money, and changed the industry’s perception of her. Doors that were closed began to open. They just weren’t opening fast enough for her taste.

She sets down her after-dinner tea and says, “I want choices. I want options. I want to lay out all the directions I could go and have the ability to choose. I’m slowly starting to have that now.“ It’s the “slowly“ that kills her.

One film that will almost surely expedite the process is I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, which will be released this month. It stars Adam Sandler and Kevin James as two Brooklyn firefighters who pretend to be a gay couple in order to receive domestic-partner benefits. J.B. plays the female lead, their hoodwinked attorney who falls for Sandler by the end of the picture.

Chuck and Larry is Jessica’s first real shot at popular, mainstream film success. Unlike her previous big-budget endeavors, it doesn’t rely on CGI or fetishistic weaponry to make its points. It is also—apologies to Freddie Prinze Jr. —her first comedy.

“It was a little bit intimidating,“ she says. “I really admire Adam and Kevin, but then, I didn’t try to equal them or one-up them, and the character I created didn’t have to be that. She’s the straight woman, but very fun and very cool and just—attainable. That’s the kind of part that I’d like to play more. I mean, a vampire hunter? Is that really attainable? I’d just like to play something a little more quirky, interesting, outrageous. And uninhibited.“

“You’re not worried that she can do comedy,“ the movie’s director, Dennis Dugan, tells me. “You can tell she can do comedy. So we just met her and cast her. I really think she can have one of those diverse, Oscar-winning careers. As far as I’m concerned, there’s no horizon to her talent.“

The sun has gone down, and we’re standing on the sidewalk in front of the Italian joint, across from the pier. I’m holding a small stuffed Spider-Man doll that Jessica won as a prize back at the amusement park and which she’s given to me to give to my son. I ask what she’s doing tonight, and she says she’s playing chaperone to a girlfriend on a first date. “Basically, I’m her wingman tonight,“ she says. “I’ll probably slip away if it’s rolling along well.“

She graciously agrees to a photograph with me, which I would include except for two reasons: (1) I don’t want to make Justin Timberlake jealous, and (2) you never quite understand how unattractive you are until you see yourself in a picture with Jessica Biel.

I watch her as she walks toward the pier. I know it’s where her car is parked, but I have this image of her heading straight back to the Pier Plank Plunge. The carny won’t know who she is, nobody on the pier will recognize her, and she’ll just hand over her fiver and go at it. That red button, almost within her reach. Attainable.

[enaspaces]

my shuri headcanons 𓃠

a dump of my thoughts because i love her and she’s taken over my mind

• on the trans/nonbinary spectrum. more specifically a demigirl and doesn’t care what pronouns you use on him. owns a binder for specific days that she wants her chest to look flat.

• very lesbian. her heart is for women and non-men 🏳️‍🌈

• i view her as a stud or a stem. it depends on how i’m feeling atm.

• she’s not just a nerd in the science sense she’s a huge fandom geek and has a stan twitter account to talk about her interests.

• also has fan edits of her favorite characters and interests saved on her phone. probably makes her own edits too.

• average minecraft enjoyer (she’s obsessed)

• reads a lot of wlw comics, novels, and other media bc they’re a gay ass.

• has AuDHD, argue with ur mama.

• is almost always seen wearing noise cancelling headphones or earbuds because she gets overstimulated at times. when she visits riri in chicago for the first time, the constant loud city noise is something he’s not used to. he had forgot to pack the headphones he made for himself so riri makes him a custom made pair to help him relax. they end up using riri’s more than their own. (riri indulgently put small cat ears on the top of them and shuri almost cried at the sight).

• catgirl energy. riri may make her look tall but that’s still a 5’5 girl twink that stopped growing at age 13. she’s small and likes to sit on counters, lab tables, the floor and any other weird place that’s not meant to be sat on. she curls up in a ball when she sleeps alone, and if she’s in the bed with someone else her limbs are all over their body. has cute sounding sneezes that m’baku makes fun of her for. one of the lab workers once found her asleep in a random corner of the room. naturally very light-footed and basically has human toe beans, making it very easy to sneak up on people without them hearing.

• has quite a few fidget toys to help her focus on work in the lab and ease her anxiety. a rubik’s cube, fidget spinners, stress ball, pop its, etc.

• she stims. so much. especially after she successfully completes a task or experiment and she’ll do a dance or do the lil hand flapping thing. her vocal stims are always random song lyrics or tiktok meme audios lol.

• has a sweet tooth. when okoye was a dora she’d occasionally bring candy or other sweets for her to snack on. riri goes to the store and buys him all the popular american snacks for him to try. nakia always has a mini stash prepared for when they visit her and toussaint in haiti.

• favorite color is purple. it just suits her.

• a GAMER™. she plays all genres but her favs are probably minecraft, puzzle, or rhythm games. did i mention minecraft? she loves it. riri loves rpgs and pvp games the most and has her play smash bros ultimate pretty often. they’re super competitive with each other and both sore losers lmao. shuri got her to play minecraft once and riri kept getting blown up by creepers.

• ↑ she becomes super close with mj, ned, and vivian through riri. they’re always on discord vc together playing games and doing many other things and it’s the most chaotic shit you’ve ever seen.

• if the word ticklish was personified. simply elbowing her in the stomach on accident would get a giggle outta her. every ticklish spot she has is extremely sensitive and you could have her curled up cackling in tears with ease.

• funny as hell for no reason. life of the party fr. she takes her jokester persona very seriously but sometimes she’s hilarious without even trying. the first time she ever smoked weed was with riri in her dorm and riri never laughed so hard in her life that day. shuri was literally all over the place. she’s definitely a lightweight too, just as goofy, giggly, and clingy in her drunken state.

• definitely likes kpop girl groups. I can’t prove it but they love loona you just have to trust me.

• also loves vocaloid and has a hatsune miku figure in her room somewhere. trust me on that.

• has a list of favorite black american artists. riri definitely put her on some r&b classics and less mainstream artists. has a massive celebrity crush on black women rappers.

• music taste is very versatile. her playlist has almost everything. she just can’t listen to one genre only, she’s too open minded and exploratory for that.

• he’s not one to fall in love easily, but when he does he falls hard. riri was the first person he ever fell for and it changed the trajectory of his life, poor thing had no idea what to do with that information.

• a romantic, lovesick loser. cannot flirt to save his life. flustering him is so fucking easy lmao. riri once called him shawty and he malfunctioned for 5 minutes. whenever he’s on the phone with riri his crush is genuinely so obvious to everyone around him. he be giggling and cheesing real hard 😭. kicking his feet squealing on the bed when he’s alone thinking about the cute nickname riri called him.

• her love language is acts of service and gift giving. she’s not always good with words or emotions so she expresses her appreciation towards her loved ones by distributing her wealth in many ways. buying riri things she might need for college, fixing stuff that breaks in nakia’s home. things like that.

• has trouble being vulnerable with those close to her. she’s lost so much, so opening up to new people is always a scary, big step. it took a while for her to let mj, ned, and viv into her heart because the closer she becomes with them, the more it’ll hurt if she loses them. they take her in with open arms regardless, because having a support system with people her age is something she needs. they take her seriously in ways that the elders don’t. they see her for who she is outside of being a royal figure to her country and allows her to be her full, authentic, geeky self. she’s able to grasp onto the youth that she almost lost when her family was taken away.

• very talkative. can infodump about an interest for hours and completely lose track of time if you let them. they cannot stay still when excited, nor can they keep eye contact, pacing around the room and darting their eyes everywhere while rambling about the history of vibrainium or something.

• maladaptive daydreaming. will lose herself in a song and start imagining scenarios in her head. t’challa once caught her in the act and refused to delete the video footage. sometimes, she pulls up the video her brother recorded just to hear his laughter in the background.

[vaya-writes]

The Wyvern's Bride - Part 3.2

When Adalyn gets sacrificed to the local wyvern, she’s a little annoyed and a lot terrified. Upon meeting the wyvern, she discovers that he’s not particularly interested in eating people, and mostly wants to be left alone. In a plot to save himself from the responsibilities his family keep pushing on him, Slate names Adalyn as his human Envoy, and tasks her with finding him a wife.

2000 words. Cis female human x Cis male wyvern (slow burn, arranged marriage, eventual smut). firefly-graphics did the divider.

Masterlist - Previous

Adalyn wakes early. She’s used to getting up at sunrise to start baking, and up in the Spires with the balcony door propped open, she has an unimpeded view of the lightening sky.  

Slate had woken earlier still and is nowhere to be found. There’s evidence of his stirring here and there. A blanket in a pile by the chaise. Crumbs at the table. A covered plate of cold toast waiting for Adalyn. She bites into it, relishing the jam Slate had procured.  

She’s tempted to go back to bed. To sleep in until the sun finishes rising. To loaf about and relax, perhaps with a book. But she’s not yet game to go through Slate’s collection, and the threat of boredom chafes at her skin.  

Instead, she dresses for the day, gathers up some of her cleaning supplies, and makes for the kitchen. She’s not sure what state she’ll find it in but is looking forward to using the area herself.  

Light streams into the windows as she makes her way down the Tower until finally, she enters the passage that leads to the kitchen. Its dark, but thankfully short, and when she finds the dining room, the skylight illuminates the area enough to see her to the kitchen. 

Adalyn swears under her breath as she locates the flint and steel and lights the nearest brazier. Perhaps lighting is another thing she’ll have to talk to Slate about. 

When the kitchen is lit, Adalyn leans against the counter and surveys the place. Her legs are wobbly from the trek – it had been nice to stretch them, and she can move without discomfort now, but the hike will still take some getting used to. 

The Matron’s staff had tidied the kitchen. Dishes had been washed and put away, and any remaining food had been sealed and put in the larder (dried fruits are all that remain). Still, there are crusts and crumbs scattered about, and the fire pit is overflowing with ash.  

Adalyn sinks into cleaning. She marvels over the plumbing as she wipes and washes the counters. She puts on a pot of tea when she works, settling into the familiar routine. She even rummages through the larder for ingredients, and once the counters are clean, starts baking some bread and biscuits. She’d brought her starter yeast from home, and Slate’s kitchen is stocked with everything else she needs.  

By midmorning she’s surveying the fruits of her labours with satisfaction. There’s a platter of sweets to snack on, jam sandwiches which she eats on the spot, and a tea set which she resolves to take upstairs. She sets aside a handful of other things to take to the Tower, so that she won’t have to descend to the kitchen each morning for supplies.  

Throughout the morning Adalyn had noted a distant rumble. It had been almost comforting. In the stillness beneath the mountains, with Adalyn’s busywork being the only sounds, it soothes her to hear something else. 

When she finishes her work and takes a moment to breathe, she listens to the sounds with curiosity, then recognition. The occasional boom and slight tremors beneath her feet could be indicative of a cave in but had been too consistent. It’s more likely Slate, at work somewhere within the Spires. 

She glances at her food, then around the kitchen. There’s honestly not much else for her to do, and with the rest of the day stretching out before her, she decides to explore. 

She sets off in the direction of the byway, following the distant sounds of earth rending, retracing her steps through the dining hall and a winding passage before she emerges into the enormous cavern. At the size of it she blanches. Awe inspiring as it is, the walls are still unremarkable, and she worries that she might lose her way. She’s looking around for landmarks, anything to help mark one passage from another, when she notices the pile of stones beside her.  

Their purpose immediately becomes clear. Adalyn notes the number of stones and their arrangement – unique. Each door marker is different from the next. She resumes her exploration, walking alongside the stream and taking in the sights. Plant life creeps down from the ceiling, spilling over the edge of the cave opening, high above. The area is almost lush. 

She doesn’t have to walk the entire cavern, thankfully. The sounds are coming from just across the main-way, and she eyes one passage speculatively. The gouge marks around the edge of the doorway are fresh; debris and dust litter the ground and a set of footprints, visible even to her, track through it all. She spies a bundle of white and stoops to examine it. A shirt, discarded in a heap. 

She’d go in after Slate if it weren’t for the darkness. At its thickness, she balks. Even if the wyvern were through the passage, she has no way of knowing about any hazards.  

“Slate?” She calls. 

The noise ceases. For a moment she hears nothing. Then there’s the crunch of footsteps. 

“Adalyn. Are you alright?” 

The air swirls with dust. Adalyn waves the particulates away from her face and coughs. “I brought you lunch, though it might be early.” 

Slate emerges from the darkness, pausing at the threshold of the shadows. “It’s never too early to see you, dearest.” 

Adalyn squints at his outline, using the expression to cover her embarrassment. “Do I get to see you?” 

He straightens, and steps out of the corridor. Contrite, he runs a hand through his hair, smearing a white streak through it. “Sorry. Difference in eyesight, I guess.” 

He’s shirtless, in his demi form. There’s a layer of filth and grit covering him, almost creating patterns against his grey skin and dappled scales. 

She eyes the swarths of them: thick and dark on the backs of his arms and shoulders, lightening colour at his sides, and thinning into skin over his chest. There’s a fresh scar above his left pectoral, and Adalyn recognises it as the place where Slate had removed a scale. 

She drags her eyes away from his chest and forces a polite smile. “Did you want to wash up first, or...” 

Slate gestures towards the cavern. “Let’s go over there. You can sit in the light, and I can take a dip in the stream.” 

Adalyn takes a seat at the bank before unwrapping their food. She sets the remaining sandwiches aside for Slate while she picks at a biscuit. She watches with bemusement as Slate kicks off his shoes and socks before stepping straight into the stream. She catches sight of his back – tessellated scales the colour of coal – and the amusement slips her mind. 

“What are you working on today?” 

His arms are wreathed in shadow, fingers tipped with long claws. Adalyn watches, riveted, as he dispells the claws into puffs of smoke and begins rubbing water up his arms and chest. His skin from the forearms down is still shadowy, and cloudy water streams off him in rivulets. 

“I’m carving the passage from the main-way to where your quarters will be.” 

“By hand?” 

“The first time, yes.” 

He climbs the bank to sit beside her, and she wordlessly hands him a sandwich. He smiles his thanks. “What about you?” 

Adalyn sighs. “I don’t know. To be honest, without a bakery to run, I fear I might get quite bored.” 

“What did you used to do with your free time?” 

She leans back, watching a cloud pass. “Cook. Clean. Garden. Sometimes spin and sew.” 

“Do you like doing those things?” 

“Yes, sometimes. They help me feel in control.” 

Slate considers while he finishes his food. Then rests his hand in his chin. “We could find you a project. I always have several to keep me busy.” 

She grins. Slate seems the type to keep multiple pots on the burner. “You got a list, or something?” 

He straightens and counts on his fingers. “Finish the blueprints for your quarters, carve out the passages and main spaces, contract a smith for fittings, designate a permanent space for my workshops, build said workshops, prototype different elevators,” he pauses, and a blush touches his cheeks at Adalyn’s expression. “To start.” 

She enjoys his enthusiasm. Even if she finds it hard to relate. “I thought you’d finish the Tower first.” 

He brushes some crumbs away and reaches for a sweet. “I don’t want to crowd you longer than necessary. Your space is my top priority.” 

Some of her mirth fades, and she tries to keep a neutral expression. Part of her fixates on those words, searching them for further meaning. Perhaps he is being genuine.  

Tentatively, she replies. “I don’t feel crowded.” 

She misses the way he looks at her, somewhat sharply. Fearing he had misstepped. “You don’t? I- well, I know how humans value their privacy.” 

She purses her lips. Part of her very badly wants to protest the distance he’s literally building between them. But she doesn’t want to push, and risk seeming clingy.  

She lets the topic drop. “So what project do you suggest I take up?” 

He thinks. “You like cleaning.” 

A nod. 

He looks almost pained as his picks his next words. “I suppose I don’t mind if you go through my things. Organise them, I mean.” 

She’s torn again. She wants to react with brevity. Tease him for his tastes. ‘What if you don’t like my system.’  

Instead, she approaches the situation with growing anxiety and caution. She wonders if having her in his space, touching all his things, will drive him to push her away faster. She’s practically a stranger. And he’d been so frustrated with his family meddling.  

“If you’re sure. I know it could be a bother.” 

He shakes his head. His fingers creep towards hers. “It’s not. You’d have to try really hard to bother me. Just wait until tonight. Some of the magical artifacts can be aggressive, and I’d better point them out.” 

She eyes his hand, next to hers, and some of the tightness in her chest lessons. Anxiety temporarily assuaged, she manages a smile. She stands and readies to leave, allowing herself some humour. “Okay dearest.” 

--- 

When Slate joins Adalyn for dinner he is both late and sodden. He lands on the balcony and lingers there, sheepishly wringing his clothes out. 

“There is a bath here.” 

“I don’t want to track dust through my room,” he says before going to fetch a towel.  

Adalyn had rekindled the fire herself and lit the braziers, and dinner is set out when he joins her at the table, once more in his human form. She wonders if there’s a particular reason he chooses the form so frequently. 

“Sorry I’m late. My timepiece is broken.” He bites into a pastry and lets out an appreciative groan.   Adalyn hadn’t found any substantial supplies in the larder and had managed to make some fruit pies with the jam preserves. He swallows and smiles at her. “How are you finding the keep?” 

She shrugs. Adopts a teasing tone. “There’s room for improvement, I suppose.” 

“Oh?” 

“I don’t want to seem like I’m complaining.” 

“Please. Complain to me.” 

“Perhaps you could build an exit or two? I’m getting plenty of fresh air from the balcony, but it’d be nice to go for a walk on the surface.” 

“That’s a quick fix. Though I’d be careful walking around the karst. There’s a lot of places you could fall.” 

“We’re also down to bread and cheese. Some supplies wouldn’t go astray.” 

Slate nods. “I go hunting every few days, but it’s slipped my mind, with all the changes. I’d planned to visit the valley tomorrow; we could stock up then?” 

“What are your plans in the valley?” 

He smiles, coy. “Oh, you know. Post some letters. Check in with some craftsmen. Pick up a gift for my wife.” 

“You’re too sweet.” 

“Right?” 

She rolls her eyes. “I’ll forgive your tardiness then.” 

“Was that all you wanted? A door and some food?” 

Adalyn narrows her eyes. “I could make a list if it pleases you.” 

“I love lists.”

---

Next

[sleepingdeath-light]

relationship hcs ; mey rin

requested by ; mod / self indulgent

fandom(s) ; black butler

fandom masterlist(s) ; hub | specific

character(s) ; mey rin

outline ; “dating headcanons for mey rin”

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

whilst she’s incredibly levelheaded and focused when she’s protecting the estate or the young master’s interests, when it comes to her relationship with you she’s incredibly unsure of herself and easily flustered — second guessing everything she does or says and being rendered red in the face and pretty speechless by just about anything romantic you do or say (be that something as simple as a compliment or a kiss on the cheek, or something a bit more direct like actively flirting with her or touching her in a slightly more suggestive way — in her mind at least — whenever you cross paths during the work day)

mey rin enjoys physical affection and it’s a big love language of hers, but she struggles immensely with initiating anything and usually relies on you picking up on her body language and barely-subtle signals that she wants to be touchy with you — that being said, a kiss on the cheek/lips and a hug from behind never fail to brighten her mood, even when they’re unexpected, so if you’re naturally very affectionate then you can at least rely on those two acts to always be accepted no matter the situation

pretty much every other member of the estate has caught her staring at you with this lovestruck expression on her face, which has on several occasional led to her getting distracted midway through a task and making a mistake of some sort (earning a thorough scolding from mr sebastian, an affectionate bit of teasing from bard, and plenty of comfort from you after the fact) — she doesn’t even realise she’s doing it most of the time, which arguably only makes it worse for her when she messes something up in the moment

she doesn’t talk about her past all that much, but it’s not like she’s trying to hide anything from you — it’s just difficult to talk about for her — that being said she is honest about her time spent on the streets of london (especially the friends she made, crying in your arms as she recounted their deaths), and she mentions bits and pieces of her time working for the gang (which she’s much more reluctant to speak on because of how she was treated for years)

she’s an extremely cuddly person in bed and prefers to sleep curled up against your chest with your arms around you — she’s soothed by the sound of your breathing and doesn’t sleep as easily when you’re away for whatever reason (she’s also the type to steal your shirts/night clothes if they fit her, and she always gets away with it because she looks absolutely adorable in your clothes)

generally she doesn’t really use pet names for you unless she’s doing some of the young master’s dirty work — asking you if you’re alright and telling you to get to a safe place whilst she takes care of everything, calling you ‘darling’ as she does so, speaking with such casual authority that’s so rare to hear from her that you can’t help but obey

if you wanted to learn how to use the guns she relies on then she’s more than happy to teach you, offering a gentle hand and plenty of reassurance and feedback as she helps you get used to the weight of each weapon and get accustomed to how each one works — eventually she’ll set up a practise area with targets for you, but for now she’s mainly focusing on proper handling of her guns before she lets you loose with ammunition on the estate (partially because of the risk and partially because mr sebastian might just kill her)

mey rin is incredibly protective over you and will endlessly fret over every minor illness, bump, scrape or other small injury you acquire during your time together — but if you’re intentionally hurt by someone else (usually an intruder at the estate) then she becomes furious, immediately dispatching the threat before hurrying you somewhere safe to be have your wounds treated (it’s the most serious and distraught you’ll ever see her — she’s already lost so much in her life and she’s terrified of losing someone else she loves)

[electricbluebutterflies]

17. Masturbation (mutual or otherwise) for Garcy?

Another very late crosspost, at this point who even knows what's hidden in my drafts. NSFWish and also on ao3.

The damned door won’t lock.

Lucy has tried to adapt to the nuances of living with half a dozen other people in a space she suspects was never designed for this many occupants, she has made every compromise she can, but the utter lack of privacy occasionally gets under her skin, especially when she deeply wants it. She’s in a mood and has no easy way to resolve it – at present there are no viable partners for her as far as she’s aware, and getting herself off will be a better time anyways. But she barely even sleeps in her room because someone had the brilliant idea to put her in closest proximity to the shared living areas, she is absolutely goddamn not doing this where she’s actually spent most of her nights over the past few months, and-

The more out-of-the-way bathroom is the best option she has, but even that isn’t necessarily good enough. The lock is known not to work, this isn’t exactly a new problem, and the shower curtain is practically see-through and-

Screw it, her options are either this relatively minor risk or acting on a crush she intends to take to her grave. Accidentally getting walked in on, if it happens, will be less awkward.

A few unnecessary moments of trying to fight the door lower her mood a little, but not enough to change her plans for the afternoon. It has been a long couple of days, and that problem of a crush has started taking up far more of her mind than she can justify, and-

Would it kill her to do something about it, to yank that tree of a man down to her level and make it abundantly clear that she sees how he looks at her and she has no complaints about it?

It probably would, she thinks as she decides to take advantage of her situation and draw a bath. She should know by now that she can’t make good choices. Why start now?

Warm water, theoretically waterproof vibrator, distracting thoughts… she doubts she’ll actually get off, but she’ll get rid of some of this unfortunate tension in her body, hopefully calm herself, hopefully get somewhere. She’s always been efficient, no reason to tease herself when she’s not sure how much time she even has, and there’s barely a daydream in her mind as she puts her device on a medium setting and  it’s not enough but it’s something, it’s not-

Oh goddammit.

The door opens just slowly enough to give her a moment to hide the vibrator under her body and remind herself that innocent violations of privacy are completely normal and she’s pretty sure everyone has at least seen her naked from the waist up before and-

Lucy is not fond of living any erotic cliches, and the sudden presence of the subject of most of her recent fantasies – now currently standing as if turned to stone in the doorway, and definitely looking at her – is decidedly overrated. More awkward than not, and she isn’t sure-

“I walked in on something,” Flynn says, not a question and accent heavier than she’s heard in a while.

“You did.”

Perhaps this is how it has to be, she thinks. She has no inclination to cover herself, nothing to be frightened about, nothing-

“I can-“

“Or you could stay.”

Oh, if she’d thought he’d been turned to stone before, this is something else entirely. No one else has ever looked at her the way he does, like she is divine but not delicate, and-

“What do you want me to do?”

Ravish her, she wants to say, but that feels like asking too much. Anything involving touch would be too much, she’d probably kill him just by kissing with tongue, but-

“Watch me. Close the door, block it, and watch me.”

He does as she asks, and she can see the power she has over him and someday she will use that in the bed that somehow holds both of their bodies. For now there is this, her inhibitions forced down and her eyes closed, nothing below her breasts visible above the waterline, the low buzzing of her vibrator muted by its surroundings and her own noises barely audible. She’s always been quiet, and that has been convenient these past few months, and-

To her great surprise, she falls apart with a sudden gasp and her free hand clawing against the edge of the bathtub, and it’s not quite a great earth-shattering orgasm but it’s still more than she expected out of this and for a few moments everything is very bright and very warm, and-

“Are you alright?” he asks, and it still surprises her how occasionally protective he can be.

“Better now. That felt right. I… could you help me get out?”

She’s not enjoying this as much as she probably should, but she feels his eyes on her now fully exposed body, looking respectfully but still looking, and maybe they’re not as hopeless as she’d thought. Maybe…

“What do you want?” he asks again, low and uncertain.

“You, eventually. I’m just not sure…”

He leans down to kiss her forehead, and she is unafraid, and-

“Take your time.”

[drctopaz]

INFORMATION & STATISTICS FOR CALIPHE TOPAZ

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear." — Franklin D. Roosevelt

ORIGINS & FAMILY:

Full Name: Caliphe Anastasia Topaz

Nickname(s)/Alias(es): Cali, Fee, Ana, Tope, Cat

Date of Birth: October 28th, 1999

Age: 25

Gender + Pronouns: Female, She/They

Place of birth: Northknot, Ca

Parents: Caspian & Camila

Siblings: 2; Unnamed Older Sibling, Crawford (Older brother)

Relationship with family (close? estranged?): Complex; supportive yet strained

Pets: None

PHYSICAL:

Height: 5′ 10″ (178 cm)

Build: Lean and athletic

Species: Ivy Fairy

Distinguishing Facial Features: Her strong, defined jawline, her innately thick, well-shaped eyebrows, her prominent, high cheekbones, her large, almond-shaped eyes and naturally full lips

Hair Color: Brown

Usual Hair Style: Loose curls that she’ll occasionally straighten; Low buns and ponytails at work

Eye Color: Deep Brown

Complexion (freckles, acne, skin tone, birthmarks, scars): Clear and smooth with a warm, medium to deep skin tone

Disabilities (physical or mental, including mental illnesses): PTSD, Insomnia

What do they consider their best feature?: Her brain and eyes; her photographic memory and sharp attention to detail make her especially proud of them

Worst they’ve ever been injured (what, how did it happen)?: The worst injury Caliphe experienced was from a boating accident that happened a few years ago. The accident caused severe lacerations and a fracture in her ankle, which exacerbated her nightmares. The combination of physical injury and psychological trauma was a significant setback for her

APPEARANCE:

Favorite outfit: Black skinny jeans, a green bomber jacket, and a white or grey fitted tee, paired with comfortable sneakers

Glasses? Contacts?: She wears glasses when home and contacts at work or when out

Personal Hygiene: Meticulous, fresh, clean, earthy, simple

Tattoos? Piercings?: A small, delicate tattoo of an ivy vine wrapping around her ankle and a matching tattoo of the seagull from Finding Nemo with her ex on her side; Has her ears pierced with two holes in each

What does their voice sound like?: Her voice is soft and gentle, with a calming, soothing tone

Accent?: None

Unique mannerisms/physical habits: She has a habit of fidgeting with her stethoscope when she's thinking or nervous, tapping her foot when she’s struggling with sleep or stress, and as a leftover habit from trying to stay awake, she might occasionally pinch her arm or wrist when she’s very tired

Left handed or right?: Right but is self taught ambidextrous

Do they work out/exercise?: Exercises regularly through running, cycling, and yoga

BELIEFS & INTELLECT:

Known Languages: English, French, Spanish, ASL, LSQ, is learning Mandarin

Zodiac: Scorpio

Gifts/talents: Photographic Memory, Botanical Knowledge

Religious stance: Spiritual

Political stance: Progressive

Pet peeves: Messiness, When people lie to her, Loud, unnecessary noises

Optimist or pessimist: Somewhere in between but leans slightly toward optimism

Extrovert or introvert: Introvert

INTIMACY & RELATIONSHIPS:

Relationship status: Newly Engaged to Saskia Berry

Sexual orientation: Pansexual

Ideal mate/qualities they look for in a mate: Looks for someone who is steady and dependable, someone who can truly see her, understand her struggles, and provide emotional support and someone who is intelligent and ambitious with their own passions and goals

Ever been in love?: Yes, is very much so right now

What’s their love language?: Acts of Service and Physical Touch

Most important person in their life?: Her fiancée, Saskia, her family and her mentor, Michaela

VOCATION:

Level of education: M.D.

Profession: Fourth Year Surgical Resident

Past occupations: None

Passions: Botany, Reading, Writing, Community Service, Mental & Physical Health

Which is more important – money or doing something they love?: Doing something she loves

SECRETS:

Phobias: Claustrophobia, slight Somniphobia

Life goals: To become the best surgeon of her time, making significant contributions to the medical field, To find a sense of peace and stability in her life, both personally and professionally

Greatest fears: Relapsing into old habits by using unhealthy coping mechanisms, Losing control whether it’s in her career, her relationships, or her mental health

Most embarrassing thing ever to happen to him/her: During her first surgery as a resident, Caliphe was so nervous that she accidentally dropped a surgical instrument on the ground, causing a brief disruption. Although minor, it was mortifying for her at the time, especially because it was in front of her attending

Something they’ve never told anyone: Caliphe once considered leaving medicine entirely due to the intense pressure and her struggles with nightmares. It was only after a serious reflection on her life and what she truly wanted and confiding in her mentor that she recommitted to her path as a surgeon

PREFERENCES:

Hobbies: Photography, Journaling, Sewing

Favorite color: Green

Favorite smell: Freshly cut grass, Ivy

Favorite food: Herbal tea & Sandwiches

Favorite book: The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett

Favorite movie: Etrernal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Favorite song: Vienna by Billy Joel

Coffee or tea?: Herbal tea

Favorite type of weather: Misty, rainy days

Most used word or phrase?: “I’m fine, really”

EXTRAS:

MBTI: ISFJ (The Defender) - Caliphe is nurturing, empathetic, and dedicated to her work, traits common in ISFJs. Her desire to help others, particularly in her role as a surgical resident, aligns with the ISFJ’s strong sense of duty and compassion. She also values stability and has a deep-seated need to care for those she loves, which is evident in her relationships and the way she handles her past trauma

Alignment: Lawful Good - Caliphe's strong moral compass, dedication to her profession, and desire to protect and care for others point toward a Lawful Good alignment. Despite her past struggles and the trauma she’s faced, she strives to do what’s right and is committed to following the rules and principles she believes in

Enneagram: Type 6 (The Loyalist) - Caliphe’s experiences with trauma, her sheltered upbringing, and her deep loyalty to her family and fiancée align with the traits of a Type 6. She often feels anxious and is driven by a need for security and support, which is characteristic of Type 6s. Her reliance on her fiancée for emotional stability and her tendency to plan and prepare for the future further supports this placement

Celtic Tree: Ivy - The Ivy tree represents resilience, endurance, and the ability to overcome obstacles, which resonates deeply with Caliphe’s journey. Her strength in the face of her traumatic past and her ability to grow and adapt, despite the challenges she’s faced, mirrors the Ivy’s symbolism of growth and determination

Temperament: Phlegmatic - Caliphe’s calm, composed, and nurturing demeanor fits the Phlegmatic temperament. She is easygoing, empathetic, and prefers to avoid conflict, which aligns with the Phlegmatic’s desire for peace and harmony. Her approach to her relationships and her work as a surgeon reflect a balanced, gentle, and patient nature

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff - Caliphe’s loyalty, dedication, and strong work ethic are key traits of Hufflepuff. Her kind-hearted nature, humility, and desire to help others align well with the values of this house. Despite her struggles, she remains grounded and committed to doing her best, both in her personal life and in her career

Element: Earth - As an Ivy Fairy, the Earth element is a natural fit for Caliphe. It represents stability, practicality, and nurturing energy, all of which are central to her character. Earth also symbolizes growth and healing, reflecting her journey of overcoming past trauma and her role as a healer in the medical field

[lifewithoutmeds]

February 7, 2023

tuesday evening, 8:08 p.m.

i stopped work around 5, made and had dinner with lorena (her contribution: leftover pad thai from Sanamluang Cafe, my contribution: chicken panang with a ton of bellpeppers), and she headed out to go hang with reyna before taking her to the airport where she’ll be taking off to baltimore to go visit her brother.

i did some dishes and prepped a bit for an In Office day tomorrow (pre-grinding my coffee, packing up some rice and panang for lunch), and moving things around from my computer’s hard drive to the external hard drive so i’m able to upload and edit and work on youtube videos (i had gone fishing with my mom on friday and got some gopro footage, but was unable to upload it due to lack of space. one new external hard drive and a quick reformat later, and now i’m finally transferring some files over.)

last week felt normal, but i’ve been feeling a little off since the weekend. on friday i went fishing with my mom, and saturday just did some errands/chores, and sunday lorena suggested we go fishing as she hadn’t in a while, so we went up to santa barbara, fished for a couple hours, then i thought we could go get some pasta in little tokyo, but there was a wait, so we swung by the adjacent mermaid cafe and lo and behold who would i find there but grace, having a quick drink with her old college roommate and her husband. despite our table being ready at pasta e pasta, somehow i/we were convinced to go join the party for an izayaka dinner where we got buzzed, then to tony’s where lorena and grace got drunk. at some point, though all seemed good and well, the night seemed to turn a bit for me. they both went inside i guess to grab a drink, but left me outside for quite a bit. i tried playing some songs on the jukebox to entertain myself, then texted each of them a few times, and finally came in to find them deep in talk, and i felt a touch of ... jealousy? envy? hard to tell. they tried to be like oh we forgot the time, we were talking you up saying how much we loved you! but i think something about it was triggering, and i felt left out, and i felt that gy was working her charm and somehow .... i don’t know, i think i felt weirdly threatened by it, or maybe i felt just like left out. gy was being funny and entertaining and at some point suggested lorena and i kiss, which i thought odd, and i objected, but gy whispered quickly in korean that lorena was into it, and that took me by total surprise and made me reevaluate for about two seconds before deciding against it, ultimately.

eventually we made our way home, with me dropping grace off and somehow getting lorena and i home. actually i think lorena asked to be taken to reyna’s, so i obliged, and then the next day, despite not having drunken much or being hung over, i felt like death/wanting to die, and was unable to do anything but occasionally check my mail and just kind of sleep. at some point lorena made some pasta and we watched white lotus but she seemed bored/distracted, was constantly on her phone, and we both seemed to just want to nap/be somewhere else/doing something else and i felt stupid and fat and unlikeable and self conscious.

today managed to be better, and i ate the rest of the pasta, and managed to shower (for the first time in quite a while), take my meds, drink coffee, and get some work done, and even make up at least for a couple hours for the previous day, and go through most of my checklist, but i just kinda felt weird and anxious and ... i dunno, insecure? did i think grace was seducing her? did i think grace was more funny/charming/better looking than me? did i think grace was coming on to lorena or vice versa? was i just being triggered because i felt left out and sometimes i feel like grace kinda gets into a clique that i’m left out of? because i know that’s a feeling i often get.

ultimately, i don’t think sparks were flying between the two of them or they’re rushing to become best friends without me, and grace seemed to have blacked out/not remember most of the night and certainly didn’t remember trying to get us to make out, and both she and lorena insisted that what they mostly did was talk me up and how great i am and how much they both loved me, which was certainly nice to hear, but i think i would have rather been present for it than alone outside in the cold, wondering when they were coming back. i think sometimes i’m afraid that i’m just the driver, the valet, the beer-getter, i’m just the errand girl while everyone else just lives their life and for whatever the reason, i allow it and people expect it and it’s just terrible and makes me feel like boundaries are being crossed but no one, including myself, respects me enough to do anything about it.

anyway. i texted some with gy and talked some with lo, and feel better in general, but just a bit uneasy, a bit insecure with where i stand with both of them, maybe vaguely afraid they’re in love with each other and once again, lorena falls in love with everybody but me, and maybe if i weren’t so fat or so self loathing, i could be loved, but .... as it is, it’s currently hopeless and i’m unloveable. i know these are just bad feelings but i’m just trying to flesh them out because i’m really not sure where these entrenched triggers are coming from. i hope i can calm down sooner than later.

[misasimagines]

cuddly hcs with the jjk characters pt 2

included characters: Nanami, Maki, Choso pt 1 has Yuji, Megumi, Gojo, Nobara rating: sfw warnings: none

Nanami:

Gentleman!! He will hold your hand in public by default, but won’t make a fuss if it becomes a nuisance. Like if your hands are full, he’s not going to try to still hold one of them like someone else he knows... He will offer to carry things to help you so you do have the option to hold his hand though!

Also, expect little back of the hand kisses whenever he catches on that you’re feeling anxious/stressed or even when he’s just feeling a little stressed out. It’s comforting to remind himself that you’re there with him.

Gently puts his arm around your waist to pull you out of the way if someone is about to run into you or you don’t realize you’re in the way of things. He’s got pretty good situational awareness and effortlessly makes sure that you don’t end up getting bumped into or that you don’t bump into anything yourself. If you’re the oblivious type, he is a blessing, no more shoulder-checking random telephone poles and he won’t even make it obvious that he had to pull you out of the way!

As long as you aren’t noisy or too squirmy, he’ll let you sit on his lap while he does paperwork or something boring. He also doesn’t mind you sitting on his lap while you watch a movie/show, but he’s not going to be upset if you choose to just sit next to him. Maybe a little worried if you deny an arm around your shoulders, but that’s it.

Sleeping together, he’ll be the big spoon for a bit and then once you’re both asleep he’s fine if you both turn away from each other. He’s not clingy, he knows you both need your space, and he doesn’t think it’s realistic to cuddle ALL night long.

When he wakes up in the morning, if you’re still asleep, he might take a few minutes extra to give you cuddles before he eventually pries himself up and out of bed to get ready. It’s fine, he scheduled those extra minutes-

Maki:

Not super cuddly and not super into pda. Definitely more the type to just put her hand in your back pocket or around your waist/hip while you’re out. It’s enough to make it clear that you’re together, but not so much that it’s going to cause too much unwanted attention.

She’s definitely more of an acts of service type of person, so she might not cuddle you all the time, but she does crouch down to tie your shoelaces for you or she’ll hold your jacket/purse/bag when you’re out and you get tired of carrying it.

You can sit on her lap if you want and she’ll keep an arm around you to make sure you don’t fall, but she’ll also pull a chair out for you to sit on if there isn’t one near enough to her. She also is likely to just give up her seat and stand behind yours, hands on your shoulders while she talks and occasionally leans over to steal your food-

Sit on your knees and let her lay her head down on your thighs. She’ll look up at you with a look that’s somewhere between love and disbelief. And then you squish her cheeks to get her to laugh at you.

Sleeping together, sometimes she just needs her own space, but other times she’s like uh if I can’t be the big spoon rn what’s even the point in being your girlfriend. Is this some sick game to you.....

Maki will also be willing to give you piggy back rides just about whenever you need them. Uncomfortable shoes and you still have a long walk left home? Hop on. Legs tired from trying to keep up with her on a work out? Piggy back ride time.

Choso:

He’s reserved at first because despite wanting affection, he’s not sure how to really go about getting it. He probably starts by just patting your head when he’s praising you but if you start initiating affection, he’ll go all in for it without many boundaries.

Holding your hand does not come naturally to him, but once you start holding his hand, he ends up not wanting to let go. Like even if you’re sitting across from each other, you’ll see him staring at your hand on the table. You can offer your hand to him and he’ll hold it and be like :) okay this is good.

He doesn’t really Get pda, like he doesn’t see why he should stop being affectionate just because people are around, so you’ll end up pressed close to him getting a smooch on the top of your head like sir this is the line at a grocery store!!

The first time you sit on his lap he’s like ? there’s a chair nearby they could take... but he doesn’t say that he’s just like Much To Think About... And then after a few times he just starts expecting it, and then you sit in an actual chair and he’s like Even More To Think About... He likes when you sit on his lap though! He likes having you close and when you lean your head against him and he feels very protective of you. You get caged in with his arms and he might make a not very believable excuse when he thinks he can get away with it about why you can’t get up right at that moment. They aren’t Good excuses but you let him get away with it one too many times and now if you stop he’s gonna catch that something was up about the other times.

He also sometimes needs to be protected though. Choso likes to be able to rest his head against your chest and listen your heartbeat and tries to repay the favor whenever you seem upset.

[rabidkoalasinmybloodstream]

some headcanons about the golden era slytherins as adults: part three!

okay, so (i think i might have said this before) i have a really specific idea of the living arrangement of the slytherins and what their house looks like (literally what every room looks like and stuff, i’ve thought about this a lot) but to keep it short: they all live together (because pansy, tori, and theo have money problems) in a house that is (very much purposely) not decorated like their fancy mansion childhood homes, because bleugh.

so anyway, they all play that game where whenever someone falls asleep on the couch/on a living room chair, the rest of them pile random stuff on them until they wake up, and here’s how i think each of them would react to it.

astoria:

it wouldn’t take a super long time for her to wake up, but long enough that it would be funny.

she also moves a little bit in her sleep, so sometimes she’ll roll over on someone’s hand, and that’ll get tricky

if she fell asleep with shoes on, the others would put literally every single pair of shoes they could find in the house on her because you don’t wear shoes in the house!!

it usually takes anywhere between 3-10 minutes for her to wake up

daphne:

sleeps like a rock

literally, how does she sleep like that?

they could pile every single moveable object on her while laughing their asses off and she would sleep through it.

she could sleep through the apocalypse or world war III or anything. you get the picture.

if she falls asleep with makeup on, draco will put skincare products on her because he’s a petty little shit who cares too much about his friends’ faces

daphne doesn’t usually wake up until someone puts scorpius’s cats (whose names are obi-wan catnobi and cleocatra because puns) on her and they start moving around

(she is never happy to wake up to this)

“if you little bitches keep putting your random shit on me, i will rip your eyes out and eat them in front of you.” “how would we know that you were eating them if we didn’t have our eyes? we wouldn’t be able to see.” “get the fuck away from me.” “got it.”

usually takes somewhere between 12-45 minutes to wake her up. depends on how long it takes for obi-wan catnobi and cleocatra to be brought in

theo:

usually wakes up pretty quickly.

slowly enough that the others can get a few things on him, but quickly enough that it’s not that funny.

usually takes him about two-four minutes to wake up, sometimes less

draco:

either sleeps like an absolute rock, or a gust of wind would wake him up

like, sometimes, the second someone gets near him, he shoots awake and tells whoever was trying to put something on him off because “if you try to put anything on me, you’re homophobic.” “draco, everyone who lives in this house is queer. also that doesn’t make sense.” “go away.”

but then other times they could put obi-wan, cleo, every moveable object in the room, he’ll still be asleep. they could literally be sitting on top of him, and he wouldn’t even notice.

OH MY GOD, ALSO draco has the weirdest dreams ever, and he doesn’t move in his sleep, but he talks.

and that makes everything SO MUCH FUNNIER.

like, right as someone is piling random stuff on him he’ll be like, “square up, motherfucker. possums don’t scare me.” or something like that, and everyone will burst out laughing

can take anywhere between one second and multiple hours to wake him up (because sometimes they just give up)

blaise:

sleeps soundly, but not as rock-like as draco or daphne

occasionally moves a little bit

often wakes up because everyone else is laughing too loud, not because he notices the stuff on him

usually takes about 5-15 minutes to wake him up

pansy:

sleeps soundly, but is impossible to put stuff on because she moves so much

pansy is beautiful, but she is NOT a pretty sleeper.

her hair gets frizzy and messed up, her makeup smudges and she drools and moves and flails around, usually while making weird grunty-sleepy sounds

she’s the only one of them who will always sleep through the game because everyone gives up before they can put a single thing on her

scorpius (because i feel like he should be included):

doesn’t fall asleep in the living room often, but usually everyone else just lets him sleep, because, honestly, the sleep schedule of scorpius malfoy is so messed up???? like he’ll stay up all hours of the night to write a musical or learn about the invention of socks or the evolution of the candle industry or whatever

he also usually falls asleep on someone, like with his head on someone’s shoulder

sometimes they’ll try to put things on him, but usually he wakes up, notices, then goes back to sleep

and everyone is like, “😐”

“i guess he won???”

“but don’t you have to sleep until everyone gives up to win?”

“i don’t know. whatever. i feel defeated.”

usually takes him about four minutes to wake up (then, like, a second to fall back asleep)

[sequinsmile-x]

Competition

He never thought he'd have to battle for her affection with anyone, let alone a cat.

-x-

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: a tiny bit of cursing, so much fluff you might sue me to pay for your dentist bills

Read over on A03, or below the cut.

Let me know what you think!

Aaron had never been a fan of cats. He’d never really seen the appeal of a pet in general, having not grown up with them, let alone one that would occasionally seem uninterested in your mere existence.

His first interaction with Sergio is when he cat-sits for Penelope one weekend when she's away and Emily is in Paris, dead to everyone except him and JJ. He tries to get out of it, but he’d never truly been able to say no to the technical analyst and no one else was available. A small part of his brain tells him that he owes it to Emily too, that he’s the one who signed her life away, so the very least he owes her is to feed the cat she loved so much.

He lets himself into Penelope’s apartment, immediately feeling out of place in his dark suit amongst all the bright colours. Sergio is easy to spot, lazing on a blanket that sticks out as much as the black cat does on the couch. It was a more muted colour than he would expect from Penelope, and he realises he recognises it from Emily’s apartment. That it must have made its way over here with Sergio, a small piece of home to help him settle in.

The idea of it makes Aaron’s heart twist in his chest and he breathes through it, closing the door behind him as he takes a step towards the couch. The cat immediately stands up, looking spooked as he hears the door shut.

“Hey Segio,” Aaron says, “it’s ok.” He approaches the cat slowly, his hand out in front of him so the animal can smell it, checking him out. Aaron feels a weird sense of satisfaction when Sergio headbutts his hand, leaning into him for some head scratches, immediately seeking out his friendship. “Let’s get you fed buddy.”

He follows Penelope’s instructions, which were longer than any he’d ever left a babysitter for Jack, to the letter. Trying not to grimace as he puts out the disgusting looking food and cleans the litter.

Once he’s done everything he takes a seat on the couch again, watching as the feline eats his food like he’s never been fed in his life. Sergio meanders over to him when he’s done, jumping onto the couch next to him, rubbing into his side in a way that Aaron knows will leave fur on his suit. He gently scratches behind the cat's ears.

“You aren’t too bad for a cat I guess.” He says as Sergio climbs into his lap, meowing as if he was responding. Aaron sighs as he continues to stroke down the cat's back, unable to hold back a smile as he settles into his lap. “Do you miss your mom?” He asks out of nowhere, not even sure why he was speaking. “I do.” He swallows at the unexpected emotion, his throat clogging with it. “She’ll be back soon.”

He goes to Pakistan not too long after that, finding himself unable to be somewhere she wasn’t, and not willing to confront himself over what that meant. ____

The next time he sees Sergio is the morning after his first night with Emily. Aaron wakes up in her bed, Emily wrapped up in his arms, their legs tangled together and her back against his chest. He smiles and presses a kiss into the top of her head, making her grumble something under her breath, still mostly asleep.

“Sleep, Em. I’ll go make some breakfast.” He says against her skin, the hand he has on her hip tightening slightly.

“No food.” She mumbles, turning her head just enough to press her lips to his, the kiss lost as they both smile.

“Then I’ll order in.” He replies, kissing her properly before he gets out of bed, pulling on a pair of sweatpants from the go-bag he’d brought up from his car.

He wanders into the kitchen, running his hand through his messy hair, looking for a menu for her local breakfast place, when he spots Sergio. He’s sitting on the dining table, looking at him with a look that Aaron would call curious.

“Hey buddy,” he says approaching the cat, scratching his head, “remember me?”

“I didn’t realise you’d met before.”

He turns to see Emily standing behind him, wearing only his shirt from the night before with a few buttons done up. The sleeves were well past her hands and her hair was a mess, left to dry overnight after their joint shower.

She’d never looked more beautiful.

“I thought I told you to sleep some more.” He said as she approaches him, his hands finding their place on her hips.

“Well,” she wraps her arms around the back of his neck, stepping on her tiptoes to kiss him, “my bed was suddenly very cold.” She kisses him again and he pulls her closer, his hands moving to her lower back. She pulls back from the kiss and runs her fingers through the hair on the back of his head. “So, when did you meet the other man in my life?” She asks, tilting her head towards Sergio with a smile on her face.

“I…I looked after him once when Penelope was out of town.” He says, averting his gaze from hers as if it was something to be embarrassed about.

Emily grabs his chin and makes him look at her, affection for him written all over her face. “What?”

“She needed someone to check in on him. Everyone else was busy so I volunteered.” He says, smiling at her. “It was the least I could do.”

She hears what he hasn’t said, his continued belief, no matter what she tried to tell him, that he’d ruined her life hanging in the air between them. She doesn’t want to get into that now, doesn’t want to ruin this gentle morning between them, the first of what she knows will be countless mornings, so she smiles at him instead.

“You’re sweet.” She says, kissing him and pulling him closer.

“Don’t tell anyone, I have a reputation to uphold.” He replies and she laughs, kissing him more fiercely, her hands holding him in place. He gets lost in it, his hands trailing under the shirt she’s wearing, and all previous thoughts of getting them breakfast disappear.

Until he feels claws in his back.

He pulls away from Emily and exclaims in pain, turning around to see Sergio much closer than he had been before, their previous friendship apparently now null and void.

“Sergio.” Emily says, discipline in her tone as she picks up the cat and puts him on the floor. She rounds Aaron, looking at his back and wincing. “I’m sorry. We should probably get that cleaned.”

She leads him to her bathroom, and Aaron swears he sees Sergio smile at him.

____

He knows it's ridiculous, but sometimes Aaron feels like he’s competing with Sergio. The small cat always seeming to know exactly when to interrupt them, collecting their would be intimate moments like a magpie.

They move in together. Finding a house big enough for them and Jack, a nice bay window out front that Emily comments Sergio would love. A spare room that makes them both smile at each other when the realtor says it would make a lovely nursery.

Emily kisses him in their new living room as they wait for the van with their belongings to arrive.

“I love you.” She says, her smile as bright as he’d ever seen it, the keys to the front door, their front door, still dangling from her fingers.

“I love you too.” He replies, his hand firm at her lower back. “So much.”

“You guys are gross.”

They turn to see Jack sitting on the floor, his face scrunched up as he looks at them. Sergio is on his lap, the carrier they had brought him into the house in now open.

“Sergio thinks so too.” Jack continues, scratching at the cats back.

“Is that right?” Emily says, her voice light as she moves away from Aaron towards the little boy. Sergio immediately leaps out of Jack’s lap, walks past Aaron without even looking at him and meows at Emily’s feet, purring as she picks him up. “Let’s go sort out your litter tray.” She says as she kisses the top of his head, disappearing into the house, leaving father and son alone.

“Dad?”

“Yes Jack?”

“Does Sergio hate you?”

Aaron is sure he knows the answer to that, but he isn’t about to admit it to his son.

____

The first time they argue about Sergio is just days before their wedding.

They walk into the house, exhausted from the case they had just returned from, and Aaron can’t help but sigh as the door clicks shut behind them.

“You go to bed, love.” Emily says gently, wrapping her arms around him from behind, her cheek pressed against his shoulder. “I’ll put everything away and come up.”

He turns in her embrace and puts his arm around her, his chin resting on top of her head as she settles against him.

“At least we’re wheels down until after the wedding now.” He says, tiredness making his voice ragged.

She hums into his chest. “3 more days.”

He pulls back and presses a kiss against her forehead. “I can’t wait to marry you, Emily.”

“I can’t wait to marry you either.” She kisses him gently before extracting herself from his grasp. “Now, go to bed. Before you fall asleep standing up.”

He turns and starts to walk away, laughing as she swats at his ass as he does so. He yawns as he makes it up the stairs, grateful that Jack was with Jessica for the night, leaving him some time to spend with his fiancee in the few days they had left before she became his wife.

His exhaustion leaves him the second he walks into their bedroom, the door slightly ajar and his wedding suit, that had been hanging neatly on the closet door, was on the floor. The shirt and jacket were shredded, pieces all over the place, and the tie was nowhere to be seen.

“What the fuck?” He exclaims loudly, his hands on his hips as he takes in the scene in front of him.

“Aaron?” Emily calls from downstairs, and he hears her moving up the stairs quickly as she talks. “Is everything ok?” She walks in, her hand on his arm as she makes it to his side. “Shit.”

He turns to look at her. “Your cat has ruined my suit.”

“My cat?” She asks, her hackles immediately rising as she takes her hand off of him, crossing her arms across her chest. “Our cat.”

Aaron scoffs. “Shitting in my shoes before we had to leave for a case at 2am was one thing, but this is ridiculous, Emily.”

“Aaron,” she replies, trying to keep her cool, “he’s not going to have done it on purpose.”

“Are you sure about that?” He asks, incredulously. “Because I don’t see your wedding dress in tatters on the floor. And I bet Jack’s suit is still in one piece.”

“So you think Sergio hates you?” She retorts, her hands on her hips. “That’s insane.”

“Emily, I know he hates me.”

“He’s a cat.”

“Who hates me.”

She stares at him for a moment before an adoring smile breaks out on her face. “Baby,” she says softly, placing her hands on his waist, “I love you.”

He sighs. “I know, I love you too. That's why…” He drifts off, not really sure how to say what he wants to say.

“That’s why you put up with a cat that shits in your shoes and destroys your clothes.” She finishes for him. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry.” He says, his arms coming to wrap around her, hands settling on her back. “It’s not your fault.” He sighs. “Now I have 3 days to find another wedding suit. And a tie that matches the colour theme. Garcia was very specific.”

Emily laughs and kisses him, her hands on his neck. She pulls back and runs her thumbs over his jawline.

“You know,” she says, biting her lip as she looks him up and down, “you could just wear one of your work suits.”

He raises an eyebrow at her. “Really?”

“Really.” She confirms, her hands trailing down to the lapels of his suit jacket, pulling him impossibly closer. “It’s what you were wearing when I fell in love with you. It seems fitting you should wear one when we promise to spend the rest of our lives together.”

He leans down and kisses her, not sure what he could say in response. “I’m not that tired anymore.”

“Me neither.” She says, laughing in shock when he picks her up, her warning that he’ll hurt his back dying on her lips as he kisses her again, leading them the short distance to their bed.

The following morning Aaron finds the remains of his tie in Sergio’s bed, and he can’t bring himself to care.

____

It feels like it becomes a battle of wills as time goes on. Fighting for dominance with a goddamn cat to be his wife’s favourite.

She knows, because of course she does, and does nothing except smile at his antics as he feeds Sergio fresh tuna, trying to gain favour from the cat who still seemed to deem his presence as a nuisance.

He’s tired, exhaustion he feels far too old for seeping through his bones, but he doesn’t care. Happiness outweighing all of it. Aaron yawns as he walks out of the kitchen, rubbing at his eyes as if it could wipe the sleepiness away, like it could make up for all the lost sleep from the last week of his life.

“Sergio!” Emily’s voice exclaims, and Aaron walks quickly towards the living room. “Stop it.”

The cat runs past him, his claws tapping against the hardwood floor as he disappears.

“Everything ok, Em?” Aaron says as he walks into the room. He finds her standing, their newborn baby cradled to her chest, the little boy crying.

“You’re ok sweet boy.” Emily soothes, rocking back and forth slightly and pressing a kiss to the baby’s head as she turns to her husband. “Sergio ruined his favourite blanket.” She says, tears in her eyes that he doesn’t expect, and does not acknowledge, knowing it’s not worth it. His eyes fall to the torn up blanket on the couch, one he recognises as something Penelope had made.

“Sweetheart,” Aaron says gently, moving over to gather her into his arms, “he’s 5 days old. He doesn’t have the cognitive ability to have a favourite blanket.”

“Aaron.” She says through her teeth.

“It will be fine, love.” He assures her, kissing the top of their son's head, the baby whining. “That’s his hungry cry.”

“It’s so unbelievably attractive to me that you know that.” She says, smiling at him, her annoyance already forgotten.

“Noted.” He replies, stamping a kiss to her lips. “Now, you go up and feed him,” he says, before indicating to the mess in the living room, “I’ll sort everything down here.”

“Ok,” She nods, “thank you.”

He watches with a content smile on his face as she walks away, delicately taking the stairs as she whispers things for only their son to hear.

He cleans up quickly, wanting nothing more than to join his wife and his youngest son. He makes his way upstairs once he’s done, shreds of a blanket he knows Penelope will ask about in the trash, and he stops just short of the nursery. Sergio is sitting on the floor, staring up at him with his head tilted.

“What?” He asks, as if the cat would respond. Sergio meows at him and Aaron leans down to pick him up, somewhat surprised when he snuggles into his chest, purring at his affection. Aaron looks into the nursery and smiles at what he sees.

Emily is sitting in the rocking chair, staring down at the baby as he nurses, smiling contently. She is humming softly, a tune he can’t hear from outside of the room, and running fingers over the infant's forehead.

Sergio mewls in his arms and he looks down, smiling as he scratches at the cat's ears.

“I know buddy, I think we both lost.”

Aaron can’t even bring himself to be mad about it.