#this really fucked me up because I thought I was to be a rapist and a murderer

[awakefor48hours]

My grade school teachers: Be careful of your thoughts, for they become your words…

Me, neurodivergent and has millions of intrusive thoughts:

warning: I talk about my intrusive thoughts in the tags

[thesacrificialdove]

𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐒 1.6k words rich yandere x gn!reader — ko-fi | patreon | masterlist | inbox | taglist | home | req. & comms

tags sugar daddy, rich yandere, low-key obsessive behaviour, first meetings, college student reader, age gap, brief mention of a rapist (no description or anything more)

—📜" Being a broke college student, you decide to try your hand at getting a sugar daddy. You find someone who is... quite eager to know everything about you. It's weird because he doesn't seem to be the same person he was online.

They say to spend your youth on nightclubs and partying with friends. But really, they don’t know the true beauty of being in a jazz club and drinking all by yourself. There’s no ill intentions, there’s no partying until the sun goes down—just some nice music and good drinks.

People find it odd, sure. But nothing can beat this feeling for you. As you lay in a couch that’s worth double your college tuition, you drink champagne that's triple your college tuition. 

How you ended up here is another embarrassing story. Hunting for a sugar daddy online is a clear plan for destruction. It could end well with a decent allowance every now and then, of course. Yet, fear gets the most of you. The thought that you end up with a fat well and alive man who asks for sex with his small dick looms over you like a gloomy cloud. That fear is there because your sugar daddy is anonymous.

Sighing, you drink another sip of the champagne as you fix your posture. Again. The seat in front of you is still empty. You’d think he wasn’t really being honest with you but he did have a reservation ready for the both of you.

It’s not bad to wait. Even if you do look dumb getting stood up, at least you’re enjoying yourself.

“You lonely there?” someone asks behind you.

Turning your head behind you, you see a towering man with a smile so bright you think you could be blinded by it. He looks elegant—the way he’s holding a glass like a connoisseur and his long black hair pulled into a slick ponytail. Fuck, is he your sugar daddy? He looks the age for it and honestly, he aged really good.

You tell him, “Maybe. Are you lonely?”

He chuckles and takes the seat opposite. Finally. “No,” he says, “not anymore, at least. All thanks to…?” he gestures to you.

When you tell him his name, he parrots it like he’s tasting it. “Beautiful. Your mother picked it out?”

“I’m sure so,” you don’t know, who the hell would know that? “It’s a generational name, really. In our family we keep reusing names.”

“So are you the second? The third?”

The third was your great grandfather but he ended up being a rapist. Eugh. “The fourth,” you answer. “But I never tell anyone that, actually. Bit embarrassing if they call me the fourth, so.”

He laughs, somehow finding you amusing. “Nicolas,” he says, “very nice to meet you.”

Was… his name Nicolas? You’re not so sure about that. From the site he only revealed his last name so that you could get the reservation. Huh.

“Nice to meet you, Nicolas.” The little twitch in his lips is unavoidable to your eyes, “You look very nice tonight,” maybe that’s why he took almost an hour to arrive here. “Do you live near here or?”

“Oh, no,” he shakes his head, “I come from Bolzano. But I came here from Portofino, where my heart currently is.”

You nod like you know where those places really are. Italy, you assume. “Very nice. I heard it’s a beautiful place.”

“Beatiful even more with company,” he puts his drink down. “How about you? What makes you come here?”

You, actually. You wanted to go here. “I was raised by my grandfather and jazz was his favourite. Every corner of the house Hank Mobley would be playing. I have his old records that he passed down to me and whenever I play it, I can see the way he dances.”

“So, come down here for a little trip to memory lane?”

Before you could answer, you think about it even more. The man you were talking was definitely not Italian, right? No, his name sounded British, at most. And Nicolas sounds like he has little to no knowledge about the fact that you two are supposedly on a date.

Fuck, did you get him wrong? I mean, he is interested, you think.

“Yeah, it’s nice,” you hum. You put your glass down too, clasping your hands. “I think I do need to go now. It was nice to have your company—”

“Going so soon? A bit rude especially if you came here to be mine for a price, no?”

You pause. Though you’re ready to leave this embarrassing meeting, you’re caught. You turn to him in confusion. So you were… wrong? Right? 

“Sit back down, this champagne is a bit too new to me.” He raises a hand and someone immediately finds their footing beside him. Nicolas speaks in his own tongue, requesting something you don’t understand.

You’re promptly back on your seat with a small wave of his hand. “Come on, I think we have a lot to learn about each other. But I know you.”

Did he send in a private investigator or what? Fuck, man. You didn’t think that those things were real in real life. “How much do you know?”

He doesn’t answer. His legs are crossed as he watches the busboy leave to prepare your drinks. “How are your classes?” he asks, making idle conversation of things you’re a bit worried to talk to him about. “Hope you’re dealing well.”

“Yeah,” you say, unsure of this now. “It’s all fine, yes. Just a few projects and classes.” You wonder for a moment how rude it would be to ask for a price on your body right now. “Nothing interesting, really.”

“I’m sure anything you say is of interest,” he says, all too fond of you. “Tell me, love, you mentioned having difficulties with some of your professors.”

He wasn’t interested in all that before when you were talking. “It’s fine. Well, not like I can say no. It’s a bit hard when you’re paying for an education and you’re not being taught,” you laugh, “Self-taught learning, he excuses.”

“That’s simply lazy,” he excuses. “Fine arts is such a nice career path. No reason to be dismissive of students who want to learn it.”

Did you tell him what you’re studying?

The busboy returns and brings a drink to the both of you. The song changes and it sounds familiar. You could almost see your grandfather dance behind Nicolas.

“I’m going to guess that’s your doing,” you say, “Thank you. It sounds lovely.”

He smiles, “I’m not one for jazz myself.” He reaches for his glass and swirls in, taking a whiff of its scent afterward. “But I’m curious as to who you are. How you grew up is one of those things”

When the both of you talked online, you expected him to be more lustful than this. Maybe it’s the repeating innuendo in his messages. All of that persona is gone now as if it never existed. It’s concerning.

Both of you make small conversation. Mostly it’s about you. He asks every little detail about you, asking for things that not even your friends would care about. It’s the little things.

‘Do you like soft cotton or silk?’ You don’t really know the difference but cotton is nice.

‘How often do you see your family?’ Every or so month, you’d wager. But you make sure to keep in contact.

‘What’s your thoughts on caged animals?’ A bit cruel, but you can see where it can stem from. Still, it’s cruel. You’d never do it.

The night come to a close when you start to feel a bit light-headed with the drinks you’ve ingested. Nicolas puts aside your glass as he stands to go on your side of the table. “Maybe it’s time to take a break tonight, love?”

You groan. “Yeah, I guess that’s fine now. I’m really thankful for tonight.”

“I’m glad,” he says, pulling you up and helping you walk. You don’t need it but it’s nice anyways. “I can take you back to your dorm, yes? You don’t need to worry about anything else when you’re with me.”

In your pocket, your phone buzzes. You don’t get to check it when Nicolas wraps both of his arms around your waist. He pulls you to the exit and you swear you hear ‘Signore Giordano’ come out when the men bid him goodnight.

Which is weird, because his surname is Abbot.

The ride was a blur, literally. Maybe you’ve had too much to drink. The next thing you know is that both of you are in front of your dorm. It’s too dark outside. The streets are dead silent. The low rumble of his car is the only thing you can really hear.

He calls your name. “It’s time to go home. You can’t stay with me yet, love.”

You stretch in the seat. A car seat has never been more comfortable. “Been nice, really. Thank you.”

As you unbuckle your seat, he leans forward. His arm drapes over your shoulders as his hand comes to your face. “Then can I get a little reward? Just a little?” He turns his cheek, a grin on his face.

It’s stupid but oh well, he would pay you. You press a kiss on his cheek and he looks like the happiest man alive. He laughs, looking at you with stupid heart eyes. “Thank you. Call me with this number—” he places a card in your hands—”and delete that damn app. I’ll come find you after your classes tomorrow for your contract. You don’t need to find anyone else now.”

He leaves shortly after you get inside your dorm. You hear the revving of his car go in the quiet night. It’s relieving. You’re tired on your feet, unable to really process what happened tonight.

It’s whatever. It’s all done now.

You delete the app on your phone, swiping away a message you got from it. You’re pretty sure it’s from another match you had last time but again, you don’t need it anymore.

do not redistrubute this work as yours/without permission or feed to AI 📷 art by @ L0tus_Ren_ & @ Ivan Belikov

[prettyboykatsuki]

on deaths door | s. gojo

✮ tags ; dark content ahead, afab + gender neutral reader, dark comedy / black comedy, attempts of suicide, the use of the word rapist in text, mentions of self-harm scars, penetration, intense but not rough, gojo is doting, no curses au, ceo!gojo 18+

note: this fic is mostly intended to be a dark comedy and have an unserious nature. it is very absurdist and it makes light of both suicide and assault. please proceed carefully if you find this might be triggering to you.

PLEASE READ THE TAGS BEFORE YOU PROCEED.

✮ wc ; 2.6k

✮ a/n ; i actually really really enjoyed writing this and would love to expand on it potentially. KJSDFJSKD.

reader has been through a lot so they are super nonchalant about everything just as a precaution

"Uwah," A voice startles you from your place on the roof. You gasp, amidst tears and sobs from shock. "Are you about to kill yourself?"

You whip your head around to see who could be beside you at this hour. It's a deliberately obscure location, too so it's extra weird. You were hoping to die in peace in a place where it'd be hard to find you, after all.

But there's a strange man interrupting your plans. Very strange. He's speaking Japanese rather clearly but his hair is a shock of white and his eyes are blues as saphhires. Despite the situation, his voice is light and cheerful - almost amused.

You can't tell if he's just a figment of your imagination. He's so unusual it stuns you out of your tears. You can't find your voice to respond for a moment.

"Yes," You reply, unsure of what else to say. He smiles at you.

"Hm." He looks contemplative. "Well... if you don't want it, can I have it?"

You stare on, confused.

He grins. "Your life, I mean. Can I buy it off you?"

Starting to wonder if you've already died, you stretch your hands up to wipe the tears off of your face just to see if any of it is real. The touch makes it gasp. You're definitely still alive. So, that means this strange man is also real and asking to buy your life.

"What?"

"Oh, don't worry. I'm not a cheapskate or anything, the price will be fair." He walks closer to you from where you've been standing all this time. He grabs you by the collar of your shirt, picking you up and setting you down further away from the ledge with a harsh yank.

Like a kitten whose mother is dragging it by the nape, you fumble onto the rooftop concrete. As soon as you're moved, you drop down to your knees - unable to find anymore strength.

"Are you... trying to traffick me?" Your voice is coarse in your reply as you stare up. It's a genuine question. You aren't sure what else to call this. The strange, unusual man just laughs in your face.

"Mm, well - not really. Though, if you say yes I'll make good use of you in all ways." The last part makes your skin crawl a little. "You were weeping so pitifully when I came up here... super pathetic. I just thought it'd be a waste if you died since I got to see something interesting."

There's something really wrong with this guy, you think. But this is such a common thing in your life, you aren't sure how shocked you should be.

There's also something equally wrong with you, because you're so fucked up - you're considering it. If he paid you enough to cover all of your debts, you could cut ties with all the bullshit your fathers debt has put you through. You could run away. Not there's anywhere for you, even after that. But at least you'd be unshackled from what makes you most miserable.

You don't want your life, but if this guy wants it so bad then...

"...How much will you pay me?"

His eyes light up when you ask this and it unsettles you further. "As much as you want. And you'd have to live with me at my beck and call."

"Like a pet." You reply easily.

Instead of denying it, he snaps his fingers and grins. "Exactly! Or maybe more like a plush toy that I take every where?"

Either way, you're not any kind of human. You're barely human now though with how much you work, so you aren't sure it makes a difference. You stare at him. And he looks back at you with a smile - all pearly white pristine teeth.

Who cares anymore, anyway? Even if he were to mistreat you, you're not sure you'd even feel it. It's all numb. He can have your life if it means you can escape what you're running from.

He looks rich, so maybe.

"Don't worry," He hums, and he reaches over to pat your head while your face is covered in tears. You don't flinch for some reason. "I don't like breaking things I've bought unnecessarily."

Something is wrong with you. Your self preservation is in total fucking tatters. But still, you want to say so you do. Maybe it's the absurdity, or the fact you truly don't have anything to lose. Nothing could make your misfortune any worse.

You sniffle and shake your head. He's dangerous and weird, but at least you could pay off your debts.

"Okay," You say weakly.

His smile gets impossibly wide.

You're wonder if you'll regret your decision.

__

He's filthy rich.

You should've expected that. You did, kinda. Because only rich people would think to do or ask something so absurd like ask to buy another persons life. Still, he had a driver waiting for him downstairs and his car is definitely a sports care. A McLaren, you think. One of the places you catered for ages ago was full of rich people with flashy cars and you remembered some of them.

He sits with you uncomfortably close in the back seat but doesn't speak to you at all during the ride. Not until you arrive at the destination, which is a giant building where the strange man certainly lives.

The driver (named Ichiji) calls the strange man Gojo-sama, which makes you feel extremely on edge. They whisper about something when you're out of ear shot, and Ichiji gives you a sorrowful look that you can't place.

The name Gojo is familiar to you, but you aren't sure where you've heard it.

After taking a long elevator ride to one of the upper floors, you end up in the strange mans condo. When you get there, he tells you take off your shoes and gives you nice slippers.

"Welcome to my humble abode," He says, still frivolous and speaking to you in what feels like a foreign tongue. "And also yours. I'll set you up in the guest room later, but you'll be keeping my bed warm mostly so keep that in mind."

The size of the place is absurd and so is the decor. What have you gotten yourself into? You must've gone insane. You're too afraid to touch anything.

"Am I like... a sex slave?" You ask curiously.

He frowns at you. "You make me sound like some kind of rapist. I guess now that I own you....it might make me one... but you agreed to come here so don't be like that!!" He huffs, childishly.

His response is somewhat incomprehensible to you. He's stranger by the minute and completely tactless - but for some reason, it's hard to distrust him. He doesn't raise any immediate red flags aside from being unusual.

You almost want to say it wouldn't matter if he was, as long as he pays you but decide not too.

"Okay. Do you want me to take my clothes off?" You reply, nonchalant. He stares at you.

"...I know your heads pretty fucked up, but don't you think you're being too blase about all this?"

Your brow furrows. A weird response for a guy who willingly understands this is a less than ethical situation "Would... you prefer I struggle and refuse you? Is that your fetish?"

"No! Well..." You look at him flatly as he thinks on it, almost blushing at the thought. You make a face of disgust "Not in this case, alright! It's just too pitiful and I'm not that type really.... Be more cautious."

"But you were planning to fuck me from the start, right? Or something."

He nods. "Well, yes. As a way to earn your living and for me get my urges out whenever. Finding people to have sex with is a hassle."

You shrug.

"Right. I can cook and clean too. I've done pretty much every job you can think of it,"

He waves a hand at you. "We can discuss it later." He puts a hand in his necktie and pulls on with a small smile. "Right now, I want to test out my new toy so..."

You should feel more disgusted by how he refers to you, but you don't have it in yourself.

"Can I shower first?"

He looks surprised but nods. "Uh-huh. Just wear one of my shirts when you come out. Everything else is in the bathroom. It's upstairs, first door on your left."

You stand to your feet, nodding.

__

It takes you ten minutes to figure out how the shower works.

His shower is nice. The whole place is nice. Nicer than any shithole you've ever lived in. He has a lot of nice bath products, though you aren't sure how you feel about smelling like him since you're borrowing his.

You examine your body a bit in the shower, looking at old scars as you wash and rub yourself clean. Thankfully, you gave yourself a trim downstairs not long ago.

It's embarrassing in retrospect but you've not had much of a choice in the first place. You're sensitive, unsure of the last time you've touched yourself given how much you work. You think of your job and feel guilty for how you're going to miss it. But you recall that you were preparing to die not even two hours ago and feel less bad.

You whimper a little as you finger yourself open under the water - getting wet easier than you thought. You have to lean against the wall, but with enough coaxing you get three fingers in. You're still horny when you shut the water off and step out.

You dry yourself and put on lotion - staring in the mirror. As told you borrow one of his shirts, but it's too big on you and you can see your nipples too clearly which makes you embarrassed.

You reason you're about to go fuck a stranger anyway, and decide to step out right after.

__

You decide against wearing underwear since his shirt fits on you like a dress, but regret when you come back down stairs feeling aware of the breeze on your went cunt.

He's sitting on the couch with his legs spread, dress shirt unbuttoned but still in his clothes. He hears you before he sees you, eyes widening. You suddenly get self-conscious under the weight of his stare.

"Better than I thought," Is his only assessment. Your skin grows hot.

He beckons you over to him and you go, unsure of what to do until he pulls you into his lap. Forcing you to straddle him, he wastes no time in feeling you up. His hands at your waist and chest. His face lights up in pure amusement when he sees you bare underneath.

He stares at your pussy for a long time.

"It's good," He hums, his hands brushing against it. Your nipples pebble in response to the arousal, a pathetic moan leaving your lips that makes him laugh. "Pretty."

You don't have anything to say to that so you keep quiet. Gojo slides his fingers along the seam of your cunt to asses your wetness, surprised surely by how wet it is. Without warning, he plunges a finger in. He looks up at your face, your hand covering your mouth so you don't moan.

"So wet," His voice can't contain his amusement. "What's this?"

"I was," You shiver half-way through as he plunges in another finger and it goes in smoothly. "I p-prepared in the shower and masturbated. I thought you'd just want to stick it in and I didn't want it to hurt.

"Haah," His voice is sharp, suddenly breathy. Something hard and big presses up against your leg. "You're talented in seducing me. I'm not so ungentlemanly, but I'll let it go this time, alright?"

You nod. He uses a sticky hand to unbutton his slacks and push his boxers away. You gasp at the size of his cock. You're not a virgin exactly, but you haven't had sex with anyone this big ever. He chuckles a little, pressing the head of his cock against your stomach and cunt as if measuring it up to you.

More wetness pulses, shame filling you - because you're almost excited to be fucking this strange man you've only met today. Weirdly, you don't feel unsafe around him. Your eyes glass over from lust.

He sticks his fingers in your mouth and you suck automatically, instinctively. His smile is predatory all of a sudden, teeth glimmering.

"So obedient," He says, sharply. "Ah, I have a good eye. It really would've been such a waste."

You're content to throw yourself at him, chasing the pleasure. His fingers taste of salt and skin, making you want something else entirely. It's not long before he pulls away though, wrapping his hand around his shaft and making it shiny. You blink down at where he fists his cock - your spine tingling at the sight.

"Look at you," He mutters, amused. "Do you always get this excited? Is it normal for you to fuck strange men or am I special?"

You shake your head. "It's only been two people."

"Then I am special," He replies. Your breath hitches at the feeling of his cock pressing against your hole - fluttering. "We have good compatibility."

Before you can say a word, you feel his length push inside of you in one swift motion and gasp. It's so big, so impossibly big - and even with how much you stretched, there's a touch of resistance that's making your entire lower half feel like it's jelly. Almost numb from the sensation. Buzzing from adrenaline and want.

You feel full. In your stomach, in your chest - your whole body feel complete. When you manage to open your eyes, you look at Gojo and find yourself taken aback. His hair is pushed back from his hand and he looks... different. He's handsome now that you realize. His face looks...pleased.

You talk before you can think about it.

"Do I feel good?"

He laughs sweetly, before pressing a kiss to your temple that feels to affectionate for people who barely know each other.

"Uh-huh," He says. His hands are strong, tight on your ass as he bucks up into you - causing you to collapse forward. The pleasure makes you shake, sensitivity through the roof. "Feel so good. Hahaha, how lucky."

You cling onto Gojo's shoulder and bury your face into his neck. He doesn't stop you. A large hand comes around the back of your head - the other one at your hips as he thrusts up into you with alarming force and precision. He feels so good it's a little scary, and you can't keep the noises from slipping out. You moan and whine each time the tip rubs against you inside, soft walls barely able to accommodate the size.

Your body feels hot everywhere he touches. It's been so long and Gojo is so careful but so intense. His expensive dress shirt rubs up against your nipples each time he moves. It's so good, so good - makes you want to cry.

"You're so sensitive." He laughs against your shoulder. "Gripping so tight every time I move. Do you want to cum so bad?"

"Yes," The words are a sob. Just a little more.

"Uh-huh. Tell me where to touch you. How should I make you cum."

You're too shamelessly pent up to feel shy anymore. "Touch my c-clit, please, please."

"Got it, got it - don't cry."

Gojo listens to you well. Thick fingers and an angled hand find your clit with ease as he bounces you on his cock with no regard. Your eyes roll back instantly, immediately - as an orgasm washes over your entire body. Back arching, you cum hard around the base of his cock - but Gojo just keeps fucking you through it. He doesn't stop even when you come down, only moves you both so you're laying on the couch on your back.

He kisses you then, and you meet his mouth with sloppy tears running down your face from the pleasure.

"Let's see what your stamina is like, yeah? See if you can keep up with me."

__

He fucks you unconscious.

Essentially. Though you take with enthusiasm even during your exhaustion because the sex is phenomenal - you have no idea when you stop.

You wake up in a bed, and you wake up completely clean. You don't know whose bed, but there's a large figure besides you. Half-asleep and fully exhausted, you feel shy thinking about the fact he probably bathed and dressed you while you were out.

What a strange man, you think - to do that.

He's talking to someone on the phone. You don't really make out much of the words, though you do hear your name in bits and pieces.

"...A college student.......- young then -...... open a bank account for.... - debt...- pay it all off before it becomes annoying.... look into -."

You shift under your blankets half asleep. A hand comes up on top of your head on the pillow, pushing hair from your face.

"Did I wake you?" His expression is hard to read in the dark with your eyes barely open. "Sorry. Almost done. Go back to sleep."

So you do, because you can't find strength to do much else.

The bed is warm, but your sure the heat you feel is from the strong, gentle head petting your head as you rest.

[revehae]

tw // noncon. yes its rape dont ask me no stupid fucking questions

yesterday (over a month ago technically) i couldn’t stop thinking about apologetic rapist haechan like ugghhhhhhhhhh

walk with me. this is a man you trust to have in your home, spending time watching movies and playing video games together in between your stressful lives… you’ve confided in each other about all of your problems, big or small, and chat about everything under the sun. you give him advice that he doesn’t listen to, then has the audacity to complain afterwards. he’s got a spare key to your place and you’ve got one to his, and all your boyfriends over the years feel like they have to compete with him, but the thought is ridiculous to you. compete with haechan romantically? it’s laughable. sure the guy has seen you half naked, but it’s not like that, you’re comfortable, you’ve never seen him ogle you or heard him make some unsolicited comment about your body that even strangers have made… why would anyone have to compete with haechan? he’s your best friend, nothing more, nothing less.

you’re not sure how you could’ve been so wrong. the way you see it, the haechan you thought you knew wouldn’t take advantage of how comfortable you feel around him, the fact that you let him share a bed with you every now and then. it’s not necessarily strange for his hands to wander around you, he’s clingy and unconsciously does it in his sleep, but it is strange for them to be so firm at your hips, nails digging into your skin, sounds that aren’t soft snores falling from his whiny lips.

confusion dwindles. betrayal stings your eyes. haechan sees it, too. he lifts his head up, tosses the hair out his face, and meets your eyes. there’s no arrogant shimmer to his eyes or smug smile to his face; the opposite. there’s shame and guilt and sadness, you want to think, and he beats you to a word, uttering, “i’m sorry…”

but he’s not sorry enough to stop. not even when you struggle against him, trying to wrestle your way out of his arms. you and haechan would play fight all the time, but you never realized just how strong he really was until you try to wrestle out of his arms and he pins your arms in place, whispering, “please. i don’t want to hurt you.”

but he would if he felt he had to. you’re in disbelief, the ugliest feeling festering inside your chest as it tightens so hard you can hardly breathe. when you beg him to stop, he says, “i can’t.” because you feel so much better than he’s ever imagined, and he’s imagined it a lot, and he just “can’t resist” himself. his eyes are misty, out of pleasure or out of shame, but either way, he needs to do this. he has to.

he can’t look you in your eyes. he can’t look at your face at all, really. he knows what he’ll see, the tears pouring from your eyes that gleam with a fierce blend of betrayal and despair and ire and disbelief. haechan doesn’t want to see you that way. having to hear your sniffles, knowing it’s all his fault, is bad enough. but in spite of the pangs of guilt that really do tear at his chest, he’s still in the middle of you, holding you in place, using your body for his own relief. so he just keeps his clasp on your hips, squeezing his eyes closed, and mutters, “i’m sorry…,” over and over and over again, hoping it’s enough. hoping that you’ll bring yourself to forgive him.

it’s not like it’s long before it’s over. haechan’s not proud of it but you’re all he’s been able to think about and it’s not like he’s ever hit a pussy raw before, if ever. you feel so filthy when he pulls out of you - his cum gushing out of your hole - and so broken. haechan says he’ll help you clean, but you’re rushing over to the bathroom and locking yourself inside before he has a chance to do anything. he hurriedly pulls on his pants and spends a long ten minutes knocking on the door, trying to get you to open it even after you scream at him to leave you alone, but he can hear the shower running from the other side. and he decides to leave you alone for now.

haechan tries to make it up to you, he really does. he doesn’t want you to hate him. you have to understand. your body was calling to him, enticing him, and he tried so hard but he couldn’t control it anymore. he’s gone when you return from a really, really long shower that you took in hopes of feeling less dirty, but to no avail. every bit of relief you feel at his absence, which isn’t much considering that pieces of him linger everywhere - on your sheets and in your aching bones and everywhere in between - fades when you hear the front door click open and he returns with your favorite takeout in hand. it’s his way of showing you that he’s still your best friend, that he still knows and loves you, that he’s sorry.

you’re not hungry. you have no appetite after that. haechan tries to get you to eat, but the second he comes near you, you flinch away from him. you never thought the day would come, but you are scared of him. he’s not the haechan you thought he was, no matter how hard he tries to convince you that he still is. you beg him to go, to leave you alone, but he doesn’t listen. he never does.

[hazbinwhoree]

Adam x reader whos rlly rlly drunk and strangely asking for... Err baby making.

And adam is rlly hesistant because reader has a very low sex drive...

So when adam refuses (because hes all about boundaries and consent) reader cries and just kinda vents about shit that has no relate to baby making or even anything about tht night.

And in the morning she wakes up so fresh and happy and has no memory of last night, even being so affectionate to adam<333

Consent King

(Name) had a much lower tolerance than Adam, so it didn’t take long into their drinking before (Name) was absolutely wasted. Adam had a nice buzz going, but quit to take (Name) home.

As soon as they were in the door, (Name) was immediately on him, trying to kiss him. Adam let her kiss him, but when her hands moved down to fumble with his belt, he stopped her. “Woah, babe-” “Let’s have sex,” (Name) slurred.

Adam was taken aback. (Name) was very rarely the one to initiate sex, and he was very tempted to take her up on it. But she was sloshed. He steadied her with large hands holding her shoulders. “As much as I would love that, you’re pretty trashed, babe.”

To Adam’s shock, (Name) burst into tears. “You don’t find me attractive anymore,” she sobbed. “What? Babe, no!” “It’s truuue,” she cried, slurring her words slightly. “You don’t want meee.”

Adam was flabbergasted. “(Name), that’s not true! You’re just really drunk right now.” “So?” “So you can’t consent. I’m a lot of things but I’m not a fucking rapist.”

(Name) continued to cry. Adam was at a loss.

“I wish I was prettier,” (Name) blurted out suddenly. Adam frowned. “You’re hot, babe, what are you talking about?”

“No,” (Name) wailed. “All your groupies are so much hotter than me, I don’t even know why you chose me.” Before Adam could even respond, (Name) continued. “You’re probably cheating on meee.”

Adam shook his head, stunned. “I’m not… why would you think that?”

(Name) shrugged and sniffled. “Because look at *hic* you, then look at me. You could do so much better.”

Adam pulled her into his arms. “I love you. I’m not cheating on you. You’re the hottest bitch in the world to me. My groupies are whores, they don’t mean shit. Stop being a dick to yourself.”

(Name)’s tears slowed as she cuddled into Adam’s chest. “Really?” she asked quietly.

“Really.”

A moment of silence.

“‘M tired,” (Name) slurred. Adam rolled his eyes. “I’m not surprised. You’re wasted.” “Whateverrr.” When she turned towards the stairs and stumbled, Adam scooped her up bridal-style.

“I can wa-alk,” (Name) protested.

“Shut up.”

Adam carried her upstairs to their bedroom. He cradled her in one arm while he pulled the covers back, before gently tucking her into the bed. He crawled into bed next to her. Protectively, he draped his wing over her and pulled her into his chest.

(Name) slung an arm over his waist, gripping the shirt material at his back. It didn’t take long at all before (Name) was fast asleep. After watching her for a while, Adam himself fell asleep.

He woke up to (Name) running her fingers through his hair and gently scratching at his scalp. “Good morning,” she cooed. Adam sighed contently. “You’re feeling better.” (Name) was confused. “What do you mean?”

“Oh you were a mess last night,” Adam teased. “You wanted to have sex and I said no because I was pretty sure you were blacked out, and boom, I was right. Anyway, you lost your shit a little.”

(Name) looked embarassed. “Oh my god, I’m never drinking again.”

Adam laughed. “It’s okay, babe, I still thought you were cute. Even when you were drunk crying.”

(Name) tapped his head. “Shut up,” she mumbled.

Adam laughed. He couldn’t help but tease her. “Seriously though, you were fine,” he reassured her.

“But now that you’re awake and sober, wanna have sex?”

[sagesbard]

Multi-tasking

Actor! AU Curly x reader x Jimmy

In this AU Jimmy is not a rapist I do not condone any of his actions as a victim of SA and rape.

NSFW MDNI

CW: overstim, threesome, squirting, bj, spit roasting, Jimmy being a sly bastard, condescending curly🔥🔥

Those two were always such pains in your ass. Those being Curly Grant and Jim, you actually never knew his last name. You offered Curly a spot in your next film because you needed an actor that was willing to work with you. Then you realized you needed more actors than you thought. You had some friends that were willing to do it so you were short by one. In walks Jimmy. Curlys best friend and he was nice at first. He listened and knocked the audition monologues out of the park. Then when you got to filming and the three of you become friends he started messing with for fun. Calling you "Mrs. Director" Every time you asked him to stand or do something for his scene he'd always say. "Yes Mrs. Director" with a shit eating grin. It annoyed you, everyone else listened but him. Then he got Curly in on it. You were all close enough friends for you not to fire them over it but it was still annoying. Then came the flirting remarks. Every time you tried to reprimand them they always said some stupid shit like. "And what will you do? Spank me?" Jimmy would tease. Curly was no help either. He'd just say "I'd like to see you try doll." Fuck he was so annoying, they were so annoying. But you couldn't help but look at the way Curlys arms looked when he helped lift something. Or the way Jimmy's eyes shined in the light on set.

I guess that's how you ended up in this situation. You three were on your couch in your apartment. It was a slow Saturday and all your other friends were busy. So your last resort was Curly, then he asked if he could bring Jimmy and you said sure. You had a movie playing but you couldn't really focus on it. Instead your eyes trailing over Jimmy's facial features and Curlys body. The way his legs were spread as he sat down and his thighs alone were enough to make you drool. The way Jimmy's hands held his knee while the other held his face while he was watching the movie. Your mind started to drift. You wonder what it'd feel like to have those hands on you, would they be rough and calloused or soft and gentle. Or the thought of Curly mumbling things in your ear. Heaven and God forbid your brain went to both at once. You could imagine the scene now. Jimmy's fingers in you, eating you out until you're a shaking mess. With Curly behind you having you on his lap, kissing or biting your neck. God you wanted them so badly. But they were your cast, you were basically their boss so you knew you couldn't do anything with them. "Uhhhh (name)?" Curly said, noticing the way you'd bite your lip as your eyes stared off into nothingness. The two college students looked at each other. Then back to you. You zoned back in when Jimmy snapped in your ear. You jumped a bit and blushed slightly. "You good doll?" Curly asked. "Yeah you look like a fuckin tomato right now." Jimmy commented, noticing how red your face was. "Fine!" You squeaked. "I'm fine" you said, more calmly this time. You were always confident and loud so you being startled by just their voices was new to both of them. "You sure you're alright, you looked like you were having a wet dream still awake." Jimmy said bluntly, to which Curly elbowed him for. "I'm just saying." Jimmy mumbled. In all honesty you practically were. As if they could hear your thoughts Curly spoke up and asked. "You did look like you were fantasizing though. Mind sharing with the class?" He teased. You automatically shot up in embarrassment. "N-no, I'm fine, I'd rather not share" you huffed. To which Curly and Jimmy just smiled at each other. "C'mon (name) I've probably heard worse from Jimmy, he was *weird* during middle school" Curly said, making jimmy elbow him this time. "Oh like what?" You replied. "He was a my little pony kid." Curly responded blankly. A small 'oh' escaping your lips. "Well..... I was thinking.... About you... Two." You said quietly. Embarrassed to even speak those words. "Oh?" Jimmy said, as if saying the work treat around a dog. "Do elaborate" he said excitedly. You were too far to turn back now. "One was eating me out the other had me in their lap.." you mumbled once more, avoiding eye contact until Jimmy grabbed your face, not roughly but not gently either. "Keep going." Curly said with baited breath. "One fucked me while I suck the other off." You said, having no choice but to look Jimmy in the eyes. "Fucking hell." Curly mumbled, his face turning red at her words. "If you want" Jimmy started. "Me and Curly here could make that happen." He continued. Your eyes widened at his statement. "I wouldn't mind" Curly said. "Would you like that doll?" He asked. You slowly nodded your head. Taking that as a yes Jimmy then smashed his lips against yours. His hands finding their way to your hips as he held them. Deepening the kiss, letting out a low hum at the feeling. When you two separated there was a line of saliva connecting your lips. Your mind was already hazy at just that kiss alone. Curly gently shoved Jimmy back as he kissed you, he was much more soft with it. Taking his time and making sure he savoured every bit. Pulling away after a few seconds because you two needed air.

"So Mrs. Director" Jimmy said, "what's next on your little list?" He teased, "um.. could you maybe-" you said before being cut off. "Uh uh, you yell at us all time on set" Curly interrupted. "So go ahead, command us like you normally do doll" He said, his blue eyes lowered and holding a predatory glance. You swear you were going to lose it. "Touch me" you muttered. "Atta girl" Curly said, gently placing you in his lap, his hand lowering to your shirt as you nodded. He sighed almost like a groan, lifting up the fabric leaving you and a bra. He tried to take it off but he sat there messing with it for about 3 minutes. You laughed and took it off yourself. Both men mumbled a "God damn" at the sight of you. Jimmy once again wasted zero time and kissed you again. Your back facing curly as his hands trailed over your body. The friction of his rough hands going over your tits made you gasp and moan into the kiss. Jim's hands then lowered to your pants. Pulling back from the kiss as he looked for your permission. You nodded, eyes half lidded and needy. "Please." You mumbled. He smiled and unbuttoned your pants. Dragging them down, revealing your underwear already soaked. "Would you look at that" Jimmy said to Curly both smiling. "Poor thing" Curly said. As Jimmy's hands hooked the lace fabric and pulled them off of you. The cold air hitting your pussy making you jolt. Jimmy just laughed as his hand went to your clit. Rubbing it in circles. You jumped once again and moaned. Curly laughed again and started kissing your neck. Biting gently as his hands went back to your chest. While Jimmy stopped rubbing you and inserted a finger, causing your breathing to falter. "You're doing so good for us" Curly mumbled in your ear, his cock straining in his pants. You could feel it under you, poking against your ass. Soon enough Jimmy added a second. Making your hips buck against his hand as you whined. You soon felt a knot form in your lower abdomen. "Don't stop, fuck please don't stop" you mumbled, grinding against his hand. "Not planning to" Jimmy said, locking eyes with you as you came. Your whole body shaking a jerking as you covered his hand in your sticky cum. "You're so cute like this baby" Jimmy said, licking his hand clean of your juices, you were still catching your breath as Curly took you out of his lap.

Jimmy got up and went behind you. Curly then standing up and sitting in front of the two. As Jimmy unbuckled his pants and positioned himself at your entrance. Pushing in he groaned at the feeling of you around him. As Jimmy started thrusting, his hands on your hips like a vice, biting his lip so hard he thought it might bleed. Your moans lined up with each of his thrusts. Curly fumbled with his belt buckle, gently holding your chin as he silently asked if you were okay. You bit your lip and nodded gently, your eyes giving away the fact that you barely had any thoughts left. He pulled down his boxers just enough to take out his hard cock. The flushed tip dripping pre cum. You drooled at the sight of his cock. Gently grabbing it as yous stroked it slowly. Eventually wrapping your lips around it as Curly groaned. Jimmy's harsh thrusts causing you to take more of him in your mouth. You moaned and whimpered around Curlys cock as he groaned at the feeling. His breathing heavy as he gently grabbed a fistful your hair. Your eyes looking up at him while Jimmy thrusted harder. Making you moan more around Curly as your mind went blank. "F-fuck baby, maybe the reason you were such a bitch on set was because you need two strong men to fuck the attitude out of you yeah?" Jimmy said, laughing meanly.

Curly bit his lip as you went up and down his cock, accidentally pulling your hair once your tongue traced over the vein on the underside of his cock. You tightened around Jimmy at the feeling. "Fuck babe you actually like that stuff?" Jimmy laughed meanly, Curly just blushed as you continued to suck him off. Soon enough he felt himself getting close. "Dammit, I'm gonna cum down that pretty little throat of yours doll, is that okay? Fuck" Curly groaned breathlessly. Slightly whimpering when he finally came down your throat. You coughed when he pulled out of your mouth as Jimmy's movements stuttered. "Fuck 'm gonna cum, fucking pussy's gripping me like a vice." Jimmy muttered as he had you on all fours. As Jimmy kept ramming into you he gently pulled you hair to put you up, your back against his chest as he kissed you once more. He tasted like the vanilla liquor he kept around his apartment, but not in a he just drank it way. His hand then snaked down your body as he rubbed your clit. Your hips automatically going to grind against his hand. Moaning into the kiss as your breathing became more ragged, cumming on his cock as his hips stutter once more. "F-fuck, cumming!" Jimmy groaned, shooting ropes of hot cum into your pussy. He gave you a second before pulling out. Your fucked out state making the two men laugh a bit.

Curly kneeled and gently held your chin to get you to look up at him. He shook his head condescendingly as he spoke. "Tsk tsk, Jimmy was so mean to you huh? Our poor little director. Get more than you asked for huh?" You shook your head. Your breathing rough, " m' fine. Just a little shaken up." You muttered, sitting up to look at the blonde haired man. Your half lidded eyes said otherwise. Curly raised a brow and grinned mischievously. You knew that look, that's the kind of look he had when you asked him about getting a stunt double when he got knocked back on set. The look he had when he said he could do it himself. Fuck he took it as a challenge. You thought to yourself. "In that case, I'm sure you wouldn't mind just one more round right?" Curly said, Jimmy knew that tone of voice he had. So Jimmy just sat back on the couch, watching the two of you. "Do your worst. Grant" you said, putting emphasis on his name. You only called him that when you were absolutely pissed at him. But in this context, if he wasn't already so hard he would've been that instant. "Fuck" he muttered, before he had you face down ass up, one of his hands on the back of your neck, pressing down as you bit back a whimper. He rammed into you without warning, causing you to gasp and moan loudly as he thrusted harshly. He wasn't fast like Jimmy's thrusts, he was slow and deliberate. But you could still feel him bruising your guts. His hand left your neck to grip your hips. You moaned as he fucked you. He was panting like a dog. He muttered swears as he destroyed you. A white ring around where you two connected. You couldn't even think straight anymore. "You're gonna f-fucking break me" You whined as your head hung back. "Yeah? Maybe that'll fix your fucking attitude on set." Curly said as his hand slid down your body, rubbing your puffy clit in small tight circles. Your hips jerked against him. He bit his lip in response, the feeling of you tightening around him. "m' gonna cum" you whined out. "Not yet, you gotta earn it, sorry Hun" Curly huffed out, his movements slowing down to a stop. You groaned in frustration. "You can ask nicely I know you can" He said, grinding into you, causing you to moan. "Please" you mumbled, looking away embarrassed. "What was that?" Curly teased. Jim walked out of the room for a minute, exchanging a knowing glance with Curly. "Please make me cum" You say, eyes lowered and holding a needy lustful look. Curly honestly almost came on the spot from that alone. "Yes ma'am" He said, before pounding you even harder than before. Causing your voice to crack as your moaned, your back arching into his touch. His large rough hand coming down onto your ass, making you yelp and moan even more. "Fuck you really are a whore." Curly muttered as he felt you tighten around him. You moaned as you felt yourself grow close again. Your tits bouncing with each thrust of his hips. "Wanna cum" you whined over and over again. "Go ahead baby fuck" Curly moaned, his voice cracking. As you came you gushed around his cock. Your vision going blurry as you did so. "D-dammit didn't know you could squirt like that o-oh God." Curly moaned as he came inside you, shaking and drooling as he did so. It took a minute for you two to catch your breaths.

Jimmy then came back into the room. "Hey you two horny fucks done yet?" He said, leaning against the wall. "Yeah, we are" Curly huffed. "Cool, I drew a bath for her and all that so if you wanna carry her in there that'd be great." Jimmy said, pointing towards the bathroom. Curly then picked you up and went in there, setting you down gently in the water. Your body finally relaxing as you let yourself soak in the hot water. After you got out and such you put on some comfy pajamas and joined the two back on the couch to watch another movie. This time, your mind didn't wander as much. You did notice that the two cleaned up the couch as much as possible, you smiled at the realization. By the time the night was over and the two men went home after much reassurance from you that you were okay. "See you on set Mrs. Director." Jimmy said with a shit eating grin as he left through the door. God you hated those two, but not as much now.

A/N: lmk how y'all enjoyed this! It took me almost a fucking month between exams personal shit and Tumblr just not saving my drafts. But I hope y'all liked it<3 as usual my requests are always open and if you'd like to support me or bump up your request to first priority you can always support me on cash app ($sagethebard) ofc you don't have to but it'd definitely be a huge help 💗

[mariacallous]

I plan on voting for Biden in November.  But it’s terrible.  A vote for him is still a vote that will not significantly improve our deepest and most troubling social problems.  He won’t give us Medicare for All or any other badly needed boosts to social programs.  He will probably continue to support policies that actively oppress BIPOC.  He will not help us.  He’s also a sexual predator.  Truly, I do not want to vote for this man.  This is not the man I wanted to vote for.  I don’t want him in office.  He is simply not good enough.  This man doesn’t represent what I want at all.

But if I don’t vote for Biden in November, I feel like I’m making it that much easier for Trump to win another election.  And I want that even less than I want a Biden presidency.  I don’t want another 4 years of what we have now.  No fucking way.  No.

I’m so conflicted.  I feel like there is blood on my hands.  I feel like I’m casting a vote for death and misery if I’m not voting for a progressive candidate with a progressive platform.  I feel like I’m committing nothing short of an atrocity no matter what I choose to do.  I don’t want to harm people, and yet, won’t I essentially be doing exactly that?  I just want to do the right thing.  I don’t want to bring harm, or perpetuate harm towards anyone.

Trump will probably win anyway.  He’s doing all he can to ensure that, and it will probably work.  The impending climate disaster will kill us all because we will clearly continue to do nothing.  Our bodies will be riddled with micro and nanoplastics.  America will become an even more of an inhospitable police state.

 Nobody will hold Biden accountable for anything if he wins, and he’ll never give us the public policies we desperately need. 

“Is this what hope feels like?  I’d forgotten,” you tweeted recently.  How?  And for what?  I see nothing but bad things to come.  I feel a deep sense of hopelessness and despair.

There are plenty of reasons to feel hopelessness and despair right now, but with regard to Joe Biden, you are wasting a whole bunch of negative emotions on a giant pile of shitty beliefs that just aren’t true.

First, and let me be very clear on this one, Joe Biden is not a sexual predator. He’s just not. Believe me, I would be shouting it from the rooftops if I thought he were. When Tara Reade went public, I took her allegations very seriously. I gave her extra helpings of the benefit of the doubt, but it turned out there was a mountain of evidence suggesting that Reade has always been a lying, manipulative grifter (which I didn’t want to be true), and there was another mountain of evidence suggesting that the predatory behavior alleged by Reade is simply not in Biden’s character (which I was very reluctant to trust). There was a time when I was hopeful that Reade’s accusations might even knock Biden out of the race, but I’m not the kind of person who believes a thing merely because I want it to be true. It’s fine if you want to criticize Biden for what appears to be a history of awkward or retrospectively inappropriate behavior. Hell, you can even buy into all that “Creepy Uncle Joe” bullshit, but you’re just plain wrong if you insist that Joe Biden is a sexual predator. (Obviously, the same cannot be said of Donald Trump, who is a straight-up serial rapist with a list of at least twenty-five women who have publicly and credibly accused him of sexual assault.)

As for your policy concerns, I understand your frustration. I would love to be voting for a far-left ultra-progressive firebrand of a candidate in the upcoming general election. That would feel wonderful, right up until the moment that she loses in a landslide, and I guarantee you, a far-left ultra-progressive candidate would get her ass handed to her by Trump. That’s not an outcome we can afford as a species, much less as a nation. You understand this, which is why you still plan on voting for Biden. Good. I’m really glad you’re not being a purist asshole about this. The evil garbage monsters in the GOP just love a left-wing purist who refuses to vote responsibly. Republicans are desperately praying to their imaginary white Jesus that all the Green Party crunch bars will fuck it up for the rest of us like they did back in 2016. We cannot let that happen again.

Listen, I’m not gonna try and convince you to like Joe Biden. You’re already gonna vote for him, so I’m perfectly fine if you hate his breathing guts. What I do want from you is a little maturity, some vision, and a realistic sense of scale. No one candidate will ever be the solution to our problems — not Bernie, not Liz, and certainly not Joe. At best, a candidate is a vector, a course correction, a desperately needed step in the right direction. That’s all we can expect from Biden, and he is bringing it. He’s bringing it every single day with a list of policy positions that are more progressive than any President’s in the history of the United States, and he most certainly brought it with the selection of Kamala Harris as his running mate.

Biden recognizes his place in history. He knows he is little more than a national stop-gap, a post-Trump tourniquet to stanch the bleeding. His Vice-Presidency and eventual Presidency will be a line of demarcation between two very distinct chapters of American history. This is more than just bridging the Boomer/Millennial generational divide. In the distant future (if we have one), it is my sincerest hope that Biden will be remembered as “The Last of the Old White Men,” a happy warrior who marked the end of a certain kind of Modern America and who helped usher in a new kind of Postmodern America. Those terms are clunky and loaded and absolutely will not stand the test of time, but we’re not the ones who get to name what we’re about to become. We’re the ones who have to keep doing the hard work to finally get us there, and that’s why I really need you to change your whole fucking attitude. 

This shit is going to be grueling. The fight will be brutal if not bloody, and there is absolutely no room for whiners and layabouts. You want to improve our deepest and most troubling social problems? Great. Quit moaning about doing harm with your vote and go do some actual good with your own two fucking hands. Pulling a lever in a voting booth every couple years is the bare minimum. In terms of civic duty, it is the absolute least you can do. Of course Biden won’t give us Medicare for All. Neither would Sanders or Warren. That’s not how any of this works. Presidents don’t give us shit. We do it ourselves. We demand it, loudly and with force, and over long stretches of time, with enough solidarity and sustained action, laws are enacted and policies change. 

I was around when the Clintons tried deadlifting their universal health care plan off the ground back in 1993. Maybe you remember it, maybe you weren’t even born yet, but that’s how long this shit takes. It’ll have been three fucking decades and two fucking generations of Democrats trying desperately to kick that gutbucket up Capitol Hill by the time we finally get around to some semblance of a single payer healthcare system. Thirty fucking years, my friend. That’s the kind of patience and perseverance the American experiment demands of us, so quit your fucking whining. Enough with all the pearl-clutching and hand-wringing. Take all your conflicted navel gazing bullshit and toughen the fuck up, buttercup.

You are on the right side of history. You are with the good guys. Quit your fucking bitching, and get out there and help us win.

[imtryingbuck]

Not a dream

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader.

Summary: she knew the Winter Soldier, only meeting again when she hears about Bucky’s pardon.

Word count: 7,479

Warnings: angst(?) murdering rapists. swearing. assaults. fluff. crying Bucky. past torture. suicidal thoughts. mentions of suicide. mentions of a sex ring (mentioned once.) mentions of rape (not Bucky or reader) 

Masterlist

“I’m innocent your honour.”

“You was caught with the murder weapon in your hands as well as being at the scene of the crime.”

“Would you believe me if I said that I found them like that?”

Y/n was sentenced to prison for twenty five years for murdering two men, she tried to justify her actions by telling the courts that she only killed them because they were rapists but apparently it was wrong of her to take the law into her own hands, who knew?

Little did they know that she had taken the life of just over sixty rapists.

What they don’t know won’t hurt them, right?

“So Y/n, when are you out of the shit hole?” Rogan asked as she sat at the table where Y/n was shuffling cards.

“Soon. Got twenty more years to go.”

“How long have you already done?”

“Five.” Looking around making sure no one heard her, she leaned further across the table to the woman. “Look RoRo first rule of prison is that you don’t ask people what they are in for or how long they are doing.”

“What really? I keep asking people.”

“It’s like pointing in cemetery, it’s disrespectful.”

“Oh… I didn’t know.”

“She’s fucking with you with.” Kandi laughed as she came over to the duo, a cigarette hanging out of her mouth.

“Not about the cemetery thing.” Pointing a card to Rogan. “Dis-respect-ful!”

Rogan had been in prison for six months, Y/n took the woman under her wing after seeing the poor girl getting harassed, everyone was quick to leave her alone. “Noted.”

“What about you? I’ve got three years left.” Kandi asked as she was pulling a card away from Y/n, just to wind her up.

“Hopefully next year.”

“NO!” Kandi laughed as Rogan jumped in her seat as Y/n screamed. “You two can’t leave me, I’ll be all alone in this big scary place!” She then throws herself onto the ground.

“L/n get off the ground!” A guard shouted, she does as she’s told and salutes the guy.

“Prick. Anyway I’m only joking, I can’t wait to see the back of you both.” Going back to shuffling her cards she looked up at Rogan. “You need to keep your head down and you might get an early release.”

They have a game of cards whilst Rogan and Kandi talked about their plans for when they get out. Kandi kicked Y/n’s leg and nodded in a direction, Rogan was confused but didn’t want to ask.

“RoRo.”

“Yeah?”

“Remember, always keep your head down.” Before the woman can answer Y/n stands up, fix her clothes and walks in the direction Kandi had nodded in.

Kandi quickly packs up the cards and shoves them into her pocket, swinging her legs over the bench. “When I tell you to get down, you do it.”

“Why? What’s happening.”

“Just watch our crazy little friend.”

Rogans eyes stay focused on Y/n as she makes her way across the yard and walks up to a woman that she knew had only arrived a few days before, with the distance between them she couldn’t hear what the two women were saying.

“Get… down.”

As the words come out of Kandi’s mouth Rogan watches as Y/n punches the woman in front of her, the two start fighting. Everyone begins to drop to the ground as the alarms started blearing, Rogan flinches when the guards start to shoot, not like Y/n stops her assaults on the woman - only stopping and throwing her hands up in the air when the other woman stops moving.

“We’ll she her in a month or two.” Kandi says quietly as the guards start rounding them all up.

Four months.

She was in solitary confinement for four months, Y/n was no stranger to the six by eight box, the warden had gotten fed up of her behaviour so he cut her yard time in half - only allowing her to have half an hour of fresh air a day.

Not like she cared.

The woman she had attacked played a role in the pain and suffering Y/n and many more had endured, she was a well respected agent who took great pleasure in hurting others especially Y/n. It was as if it was fate that the agent was being sent to the same prison as Y/n was in - not like she believed in things like that, but fate nonetheless.

“Y/n!” She only had that as a warning before Kandi jumped over the railing and landed on her. “Fuck I’ve missed you so much!”

“I’ve missed you too.” Y/n wheezed out. “But get your fat arse off me.”

“‘M not fat.”

“No but that arse of yours is.”

“Stop flirting with me, I’ll start thinking you’re in love with me.”

“We’re married…”

“Not anymore, I divorced you when you was in the hole. Sorry.”

“And there I thought you’d wait for me.” Finally standing up Y/n looked around, frowning when she couldn’t see Rogan. Asking Kandi where their friend was, she went from being happy to be back in the wing to angry.

“S-she was attacked two weeks ago, she’s in medical.”

“Who?”

“Y/n…”

“Who Kandi.”

“You’ve just gotten back.”

“I’m not going to ask again.”

Sighing and shaking her head Kandi said the name of the woman who had attacked their friend Y/n spun around in the direction of the woman’s cell. The alarms were quick to go off and the guards making their way in to the wing, an angry Y/n being dragged out.

“I’ll see you soon.” She shouted to Kandi, the latter just nods and makes her way back to her cell muttering idiot under her breath.

It’d be another four months since she’d see anyone again.

Y/n tiptoed her way over to where Kandi and Rogan was sitting at their bench, the other inmates raising their eyebrows as she puts her finger to her lips. They had all grown accustomed to her weird behaviour and how quickly she can go from laughing to beating someone up.

“Give me all your money!” She screamed behind the two friends, Rogan jumped whilst Kandi didn’t flinch.

Making her way to her seat she smiled at Rogan who happily returned the expression, she looked at Kandi and noticed she wasn’t looking at her. “What’s wrong?”

Kandi whispered into Rogans ear, Rogan then looked between her two friends nervously. “She said she’s not talking to you.”

“Why? Buttercup don’t be like this.”

“She said that you’ve been gone for a long time and things have changed.”

“Changed how? Nothings changed Kands, I promise I won’t go back in the hole.”

“You said that last time! And the time before that and the time before, oh and guess-“ Kandi snapped.

“I get it. I get it okay? I’m sorry alright. I just couldn’t let Anderson get away with hurting our RoRo.”

“I know but you promise all the time Y/n, you’ve been in the hole more times than anyone here and that’s saying something.”

“I like it, kinda feels like I’m home.”

“Don’t be such a dick Y/n, I’m being serious.”

“So am I!” It was her turn to snap, smoothing out her hair she apologised. “Look I’m really sorry Kandice, I swear to you I won’t do anything to get me into trouble- no I mean it honestly!”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

And just like that everything was fine between the pair. Kandi and Rogan told her everything that had happened in the eight months she was in solitary, which surprisingly wasn’t a lot other than a couple of fights happening.

Y/n’s left eye twitched as she stood in front of her cell. Someone had come into her place and trashed it. The whole wing went quiet as they all saw her standing there still as if she was a statue.

“Who?”

“Y/n, remember what you promised me.” Kandi said from the side of her.

“Who Kandi?”

“Y/n-“

“WHO FUCKING TRASHED MY CELL!” Everyone flinched as she shouted. She was getting angrier the longer everyone remained quiet.

“That would have been me, sweet cheeks.” The voice made her skin crawl. As she turned around she saw the guard who made it his sole mission to torment her after she turned him down.

“You-“

“Y/n, you’ve just gotten out.” Kandi hissed under her breath.

“Fucking-“

“Y/n!”

“PRICK!” His smile made her want to kill him right there and then. “But… it’s okay, I get it. No I really do.” Leaning over the railing she smiled at him. “Since catching your wife getting her brains fucked out of her by the fucking mailman - the same man she left you for, you’ve been real lonely, I hope you enjoyed my underwear around that small piece of useless skin that you call a dick.” The whole wing erupts in loud cheering - even some of the guards laughing - Y/n walked into her cell and started cleaning up.

The next morning the trio made their way to the rec room after having their breakfasts, sat at a table playing a card game Y/n caught a glimpse of a familiar face on the tv screen from the corner of her eye.

Her breathing picked up and her palms started to sweat, all she could see was so many different memories flash in front of her. It was like she was right there in the base alongside him. Memories she tried so hard to keep locked up right at the back of her mind under lock and key came flooding back. She could hear someone call her name but she couldn’t pin point where the voice was coming from or who by. Only snapping out of her memories when she felt a hand smack her across the face.

“Shit… Y/n I-I didn’t mean to do that.” Kandi stuttered, looking between Y/n and Rogan fear evident in her eyes.

“It’s-I’m okay. You smack like a girl by the way.” Chuckling nervously Kandi apologised but Y/n waved her off. “I need to get out of here.” She whispered to her two friends.

“We can go outside.” Rogan offered.

“No I mean I need to get out of prison, preferably like now.”

“What are you going to do, walk up to the warden and ask if he can let you out earlier?” Kandi laughed.

“Do you think he would?”

“No you idiot!”

“Why? I’m well behaved.” The girls in front of her raise their eyebrows in unison. “Okay maybe I’ve not been the best inmate but I can be good.”

They all knew that was a lie.

“Y/n be rational, you escape you’ll be wanted, you’ll get caught and have more years added to your sentence.”

“No because I’ll leave and then I’ll come back once I’m finished doing what I need to do.”

“You-I-Rogan deal with her.”

“I erm… Y/n you’ll be in so much trouble.”

“I’m doing twenty five years Ro, can’t get in more fucking trouble than that. Look I’ll be gone for a few days and I’ll hand myself in, they’ll probably give me an extra year or two which is nothing really. But I need your twos help.”

Kandi knew her well enough to know that she was going to escape with or without their help, despite not liking it she knew Y/n wouldn’t do anything without a reason. “Why?”

“I need to see someone. Kands I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t important. So please help me.”

“Fuck. Fine, okay I’ll help you.”

“I’ll help too.” Rogan smiled.

“No, you can’t ruin your chance at an early release.”

“I’m helping.”

As Y/n watched the two girls argue about whether or not Rogan was allowed to help she came up with a plan. Gaining their attention she told them the plan, and off they went.

“This is such a bad idea.” Kandi whispered watching Y/n climb through the tiny window of the guards locker room.

“It’s a brilliant idea.”

“Just hurry up!”

“Stop distracting me!”

Finding the locker she needed, she opened it up and searched for car keys, hanging them out of the small window to Kandi she climbed out. Kandi was about to unlock the car when Y/n wrapped her arms around her.

“I’ll come back I promise.”

“Why? You could be free and have a life.”

“Like you said, I’ll be wanted and I’ll end up getting caught. Plus all I’ve ever known is a life in prisons so I won’t do good out there in the real world.” She shrugged. “I’ll see you in a few days. Oh, Kandice?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“Be careful.”

Keeping an eye out she helped Y/n get into the boot of the car and locking it again she ran over to the window and climbed in to put the keys back, Rogan was waiting for her when she came back out and made a phone call - using the phone that Y/n asked forced someone to borrow them.

“Hi, is this Mr Boyd? I’m sorry to say this sir but your apartment has been broken into. Your neighbour rang the police. Yes. That’s fine sir.” Not even five minutes ago by when they see the guard running past their hiding spot and driving away.

“The crazy bitch has done it.” Kandi laughed, wrapping her arm around Rogans shoulder she kisses her friends head.

Y/n had to bite her lip to force herself not to scream as Boyd drove like a maniac, she kept banging her head and it was starting to hurt. As the car finally pulled to a stop she slowly opened the boot door before he got out and locked her inside. Only climbing out when she figured the coast was clear, she falters when she makes eye contact with a child playing across the street - the kid waves and giggles at her. Putting her finger to her lip she smiles when the kid nods.

Hiding behind the wall she waits for Boyd to leave which wasn’t long, she breaks into his apartment. First thing she does is make herself a sandwich before sitting on the sofa, putting her feet on the coffee table and watch tv - it was nice to watch something without people talking loudly in the background. After showering she walked into his bedroom and went straight to the wardrobe in hopes there was still clothes from his wife. Luck seemed to be on her side because there was a few clothes left.

Looking at the photo of Boyd with who Y/n assumed was his parents she smiles. “You trash my place, I’ll trash yours.”

Within minutes the whole apartment was trashed. Not a single room was left unharmed by the bat she was using.

Stealing some money she found she left the apartment and made her way to the bus stop. Standing outside of the library with people walking around her not knowing who she was or the fact that she had broken out of prison, she went inside.

“Hi.” Leaning over the counter to see the name tag more clearly. “Paige, I would like to use a computer.”

“Do you have a library card?”

“I don’t I’m afraid.”

“You need a library card.”

“To use a computer?”

“Yeah.”

“But I don’t have one and I really need to use it.”

“I can give you one now.”

“I don’t want a card, okay. I’m never going to come back here so it’s pointless, I just need the computer for less than ten minutes.” Y/n had to bite her cheek in order to not shout at the poor girl who was just doing her job.

“But I’m not allowed.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t.” Paige nods and takes her over to where the computers were and used her login details, reminding Y/n that she only had ten minutes she rushed back to the desk.

She’s done within minutes.

Going back up to Paige she asks for directions which the girl offers, she thanks her and hands over twenty dollars that she stole from Boyd’s apartment. “For the computer.” She informs when the girl frowns.

The walk to her destination took longer than expected due to having to keep ducking down alleyways and into shops when the police went by, she knew the guards would have realised that she was gone by now and that there would be officers looking for her.

She had to admit the building was rather impressive.

“Excuse me miss, you need to sign in.” The man said from behind the desk.

“Oh silly me, my boyfriend told me that I could just go straight up.”

“Who’s your boyfriend?”

“Tony Stark.”

“He’s married…”

“Yeah, I’m his mistress. Don’t tell the wife though.” She winks and signs her name. “Can I go up now?”

“Y-yes miss.”

“Thank you. Oh, which button do I press? Normally he does it.” Thanking him once again she makes her way to the elevator and up she goes.

Following the voices she stood outside a room where the Avengers were sitting around laughing and talking. She sees him. She doesn’t realise that everyone sees her and stops talking.

“Who are you?” A red head said.

Taking that as her signal she walks inside, her eyes still on the man she broke out of prison just to see.

"I had to see this for myself. To know it's true.” All their heads snap to the person she was looking at.

Bucky.

“Buck… do you know who this is?” A blond man said as he sat further up in his seat.

“I-yeah, her names Y/n we were at the same base together. W-what are you doing here?”

“Like I said, I wanted to see this for myself.” A small smile on her lips, she started to pick at the skin around her nails starting to feel stupid for what she’s done because he didn’t seem too pleased to see her.

“You left me.” Bucky whispered.

“I-I know but I tried to get you out, I swear.”

“You left me there Y/n!” Before anyone could react Bucky had Y/n pinned to the wall by her throat and began squeezing. “We promised each other that we’d get out together! We promised.” His eyes filling up with tears.

“I tried James! You wouldn’t come with me.” Hearing that Bucky loosens his hold around her neck. “I got into your cell but you wouldn’t listen, I tried to get you to stand but you wouldn’t move, y-you broke my arm James. My opening was closing an-and I had to take it and I’ve regretted it every day but I did try I swear.”

His hold on her neck loosens until he’s just holding her, tears starting to fall from his pretty eyes, regret consuming him when he looks at the mark already forming on her neck, regret from hating her from the moment he found out she had left him there to rot, regret and anger at hearing he had broken her arm - hurting the one person even the Winter Soldier couldn’t hurt. “I-I-“

Y/n silences him by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulls him into her. Memories of her holding him in this way flashing through their minds as Bucky clung to her.

The only sound coming from the once lively room was Bucky’s muffled cries and Y/n apologising.

“Oh by the way Tony I’m your mistress.” Y/n informed him as she pointed her fork in his direction.

“What?”

“I told the guy downstairs that I was your girlfriend and he told me you’re married. Which honestly I don’t think I can be in this relationship anymore so it’s over.” Everyone chuckles aside from Tony who’s still trying to figure out what’s going on.

“So Y/n, what have you been doing since getting away from Hydra?” Natasha asked. Bless their little hearts they tried to introduce themselves to her but she knew exactly who was who beforehand.

“I-fuck this is the best meal I’ve had in five years, thanks Sam. But anyway I was moving around a lot, may or may not have killed some agents that I knew were Hydra. So yeah not much really.”

Ever since Y/n showed up he couldn’t take his eyes off her, she looked so different yet the same, she was still the most beautiful woman he ever laid eyes on. When he was told she had escaped he felt different emotions, he was proud that she had gotten away from the horrors they were subjected too and forced to commit, he was angry that she left him behind since they had promised each other that they’d get away together and try to live a normal life - whatever that meant for the two of them. He was devastated at the fact she had left him behind, he thought that everything they had gone through together and the feelings they had for each other was all lies.

He got beaten for days after she escaped because he attacked the guards when they tried to stop him from going to her cell, he stood there at the doorway expecting to see her sitting on the wrecked mattress with a pretty smile on her face or at least her laying there with bruises after a beating but it was empty other than the mattress and disgusting toilet.

Bucky started to believe that she was dead just because he couldn’t believe that she left him on his own. For the two years he was there without his partner, his only friend, the woman who he had fallen in love with despite their surroundings he never put up a fight, he did everything they asked of him and more, he didn’t care if he died on missions - hell he wanted to die just so he could finally see Y/n again.

But here she was, sitting right next to him laughing along with his friends, looking just as beautiful as the last time he saw her. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and never let go again, he wanted to kiss her just the way they use to whenever they were alone and knew that no one was watching.

“Right, well I best be off.” Y/n spoke bringing Bucky back to the present.

“W-what?”

“Yeah sorry, I’ve gotta go somewhere before I head home.”

“I’ll take you.” Everyone could hear the desperation in his voice but he didn’t care, he wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her just yet.

“I-okay. It was nice meeting everyone.”

“You can come back whenever you want.” Steve smiled, Y/n nodded her head knowing that she couldn’t but what they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.

Saying her goodbyes, Bucky took her down to the garage and ever the gentleman he opened the car door for her. Telling him the address of where she wanted to go, he didn’t question it just driving to the destination. He noticed that every time a police car went by that she put her head down when he asked she just shook her head and smiled at him.

He followed behind her as she searched the rows of headstones, he sees her face light up when she spots the correct one she was looking for.

Kneeling down on the damp grass she placed her hand on the thick stone. “Hey beautiful, yeah I know I’ve not seen you in five years but I couldn’t get here. I’m sorry. Oh I want you to meet someone.” Waving Bucky over, he stands by her side with his hands in his pockets looking at the name, date of birth and death. “This is James, the man I told you about. Bucky this is Evie.”

“Who is she?”

“I found her two weeks after I escaped Hydra, she was along seven other women they… they were in a sex ring. I managed to get them all out and got them to safety, I know the other girls are in protection and are now safe.”

“W-what happened to Evie?”

“The dark thoughts got too much for her, I didn’t get there in time to save her. She had taken her own life. I let her down after I promised that I would always be there.” A dry laugh falls from her mouth as she wipes a tear away. “But then again I’ve never been able to keep my promises, have I?”

“Y/n-“

“It’s true though isn’t it? I’ve got two girls back at home expecting me to keep a promise I made and I don’t want to break it but I really don’t want to go back, you know?”

“You have kids?”

“Fuck no! Jesus Bucky, me as a mum? Can you imagine? Terrible.” She laughs though her heart aches at the image of her being a mother, she wanted kids but that was before Hydra, before being sent to prison for killing the two so called men who had took it in turns to rape Evie. Don’t get it wrong, she didn’t regret doing it and would do it again in a heartbeat but she knew she could never be a mum now.

“You’ve always been caring Y/n.”

“And? That doesn’t mean-you know what? It doesn’t matter, I need to go otherwise I’m going to be in even more trouble than I already am. But it was good to see you again James, it really was. I hope you all the best.”

Bucky grabbed her free hand as her other was on the headstone. “You don’t have to go! You can stay with me at the tower an-and you could be a part of the team.”

“I’m not a hero James. Never have been, never will be. I’m the person you and your friends go after, I destroy everything.”

“No, no you’re a good person Y/n, I know you!”

Putting her hand on his cheek she shakes her head. “No you don’t.” Her face lights up very quickly when blue and red lights go by. “I’ve gotta go now James. I’m sorry I didn’t get you out, I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to stay there with you. I hope you all the goodness in the world.” Standing on her tiptoes she presses her lips to his in a quick kiss. “One for the road.”

Bucky stands there motionless as Y/n presses a kiss to the headstone, giving him one last smile before walking off.

The warden went bright red in the face as he shouted at Y/n. She couldn’t see what the problem was as she came back. She went back to court and her defence lawyer told the judge that she had only escaped so she could say goodbye to a dear friend, and that she had come back willingly and she didn’t run like most would.

The judge handed her an extra eighteen months to her twenty year sentence.

Kandi and Rogan saw her two months later after she came out of solitary confinement, both of them instantly wrapping their arms around her and refusing to let go.

When Bucky got back to the tower that night he went straight into his room and refused to speak to anyone, he opened up the wardrobe and grabbed his backpack from the back, moving to sit on his bed. He found the dark red notepad and held it close to him, he remembered the day he got it - he was on a solo mission, as he was about to leave the office following the man that was trying to run away when a dark red notepad caught his eye, picking it up he flicked through the empty pages before putting it in one of his many pockets. Getting back to the base in the early hours of the next morning he kept it hidden along with a pencil he had stolen, once in the safety of his cell he began writing Y/n’s name over and over again, he then wrote all the little facts that he could remember from what she told him about herself. He kept the notepad with him at all times when he wasn’t on missions and when he was on ice he kept it hidden in his mattress.

Since Steve found him in that rundown apartment building and everything that followed Bucky didn’t read what was in the notepad, it was too painful for him but now that he knew she was alive he found himself reading what he wrote all those years ago.

He soon fell asleep with the notepad clutched closely to his chest.

A couple of weeks later the team were once again sitting around in the living room, when FRIDAY put the tv on and told the team they needed to watch the news.

“The prison behind me holds some of the most dangerous women in the country, one of the inmates who was sentenced to twenty five years for murdering two men escaped last month.” The reporter spoke, none of them understood why FRIDAY thought they needed to watch that was until a photo appeared on the right side of the screen. “Y/n L/n escaped and was on the run for two days, remarkably she walked back into prison and handed herself in. L/n has already served five years of her sentence when the esca-“

Steve paused the screen, all their eyes trained on the mugshot of the woman who showed up to the tower. A large smile on her face with no look of remorse behind her eyes as they took her photo. Bucky sits there and shakes his head as he remembers wondering why the meal Sam cooked was the best she had in five years, or when she mentioned that she hadn’t been to see Evie.

“Did you know?” Wanda asked him.

“No but it makes sense now though.”

“How do you mean?” Sam asked, so Bucky explains. “I wonder who she killed.”

“I don’t know but I’m going to visit her.”

Steve went with him to see Y/n but was turned away due to her being in solitary, the warden smirked as he told the pair that they could come back in two months to see her.

The trio was sitting in Kandi’s cell when a guard called for Y/n, with a huff she went to see what they wanted, her eyes squinting when they said she had a visitor.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you have someone here to visit you.” He said sarcastically, unlocking the door so she could come out. Putting the cuffs on her wrist he gave her no time to try and walk freely as he started to pull on the cuffs. Leading her down to a visit room he pushed her inside once the door was unlocked.

“There’s no need to keep pushing me you-“

“You, what?”

“If you hadn’t interrupted me you’d know I was going to call you a cunt.”

“You’ve got a fucking mouth on you, don’t you.”

“Me? Never.” He goes to open his mouth but closes it, he just smiles at her instead and leaves the room. Turning around she raises her eyebrow at seeing Bucky and his friends on the other side of the table. “Fancy seeing you guys here, did you get lost?”

“No, we didn’t get lost.” Bucky says fiddling with him metal fingers.

“Oh, it’s just because I don’t get visitors so.” She trails off.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were in prison?”

“Didn’t think it was important.” She shrugged.

“Not important? You murdered two men!” Y/n frowned at the way Bucky raised his voice at her, hating the way he looked at her as if she was a monster.

“Two men who deserved it! They raped Evie.” She snapped, smacking her hand on the table. “I’ve never killed anyone that didn’t deserve it and you know it.”

Bucky frowns and instantly feels guilty for raising his voice. “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever. Are we done here?“

“Did you really escape just to see me?”

“Yep, stupid I know.” Before Bucky could respond Tony spoke up and asked how long had been added to her sentence. “Eighteen months, why?”

“Cap, you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Yeah but will it work?” Y/n frowns as Steve and Tony continued to have a conversation between themselves, giving Bucky a questioning look he shrugs - not once taking his eyes off her.

“What are you two talking about?” Bucky asked them.

“Getting mouthy here out of this place.” Tony points over to Y/n, raising his eyebrow. “In the correct way.”

The door opens and before anyone could speak the guard comes in and drags Y/n out of the room saying “times up.” Bucky clenched his fists at seeing her being manhandled, Steve put his hand on his arm in hopes to calm him down - giving him a look that asked him not to do anything stupid.

A week later Y/n was told she had a visitor, with an annoyed huff she followed the guards, not even making a single comment as they tugged on the cuffs wrapped tightly around her wrist. In the week that had passed since her first visit, she couldn’t understand what Tony said - why would they want to get her out? What would they want with her? What would be the point in letting someone like her out in public when all she’s done is kill people?

Once again she’s pushed into the same room as before when she looks up she sees Bucky clenching his jaw and another man sitting next to him. “Back again?”

“This is-“

“Nick Fury, yeah I know who he is.” She cuts Bucky off. “I was currently in the middle of finding out what kind of flower I am based on my personality, so can we speed this up?”

Fury chuckles whilst nodding, pushing a folder across the table he gestures for her to sit. “You need to sign these papers.”

“What are they?”

“You sign these, you’ll be agreeing to you coming into SHIELDS custody.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Y/n you’ll be free-“ Bucky says.

“But I wouldn’t be would I?”

“Alright you won’t be in prison-“

“Yet I’ll be in a cell-“

“You won’t be.” Fury cuts in. “You’ll do the rest of your sentence under SHIELD, meaning you’ll work for us, help us stop Hydra and other organisations that are threatening to our world. Sign this and we’ll get you out of here within a few days.”

Bucky gave her a reassuring smile and an encouraging nod but she wasn’t quite sure if she wanted to sign, she’ll just be moving from one prison to another regardless of how they dress it up of what she’ll be doing for them. “Y/n?”

“I have two conditions.”

Fury sighs and rubs his eyes. “What are they?”

“Kandi and Rogan.”

“Who are they?”

“My friends, I want them out too.”

“I can’t do that Y/n.”

“Then I’m not signing.”

“Y/n they’re in prison for a reason.” Bucky tried.

“Petty crimes, the both of them. Kandi’s got three more years and Rogan can get out in a few months, it’s not hard to pull some strings.”

“They’re criminals.”

“So am I.”

Fury looks at Bucky then at Y/n. “Alright. I’ll see what I can do.”

“If they aren’t following me out of this shit hole then I’m not coming Fury.”

“You’re already the biggest pain in my backside.” He mumbled, Bucky chuckled as Y/n smiled proudly. “I’m gonna make a phone call, what’s their last names.”

Telling him their names she watched as Fury left the room leaving her alone with Bucky who had yet to take his eyes off her. She looked everywhere other than at him. He squinted his eyes at her as she tried to suppress the smile that wanted to make an appearance. She wasn’t going to back down - she knew that, Bucky knew that - but she was cracking and he knew it.

“Just give in.”

“Nope.”

“Come on, you know you want too.” She didn’t need to look at him already knowing he had a smug smile on his lips.

“Don’t know what you mean.” Bucky rolled his eyes and leaned over the table, his hand reaching out to hold hers, her eyes snapped from the stain on the wall to him. “That’s cheating.”

“You’ve never been good at that game.” He smiled softly. “If Fury can’t get your friends out of here, you’ll be an idiot not to sign these papers Y/n.”

“I can’t just leave them here, not after all we’ve been through.”

“I get it, I do but you’ll be wasting your life away.”

“Never had much of a life before anyway.” She shrugged, flipping her hands over so their fingers would link together. “I’m really sorry James.”

“For what?”

“For leaving you there, for not going back to the base earlier, for not telling you the truth about.“ she gestures to the room they were in. “Just everything. I’m sorry for everything.”

Bucky feels his heart tug at her words, he forgave her the second he laid eyes on her again after seven years without seeing her. He forgave her when she explained, so he didn’t understand why she was apologising again. “W-what do you mean when you said for not going back to the base earlier?”

“I-I found us a safe place to call home it was off grid and in the middle of nowhere, it was perfect for us. I went back to get you, I hoped that you would listen this time.” She chuckled. “I got inside and it was chaos, the agents were dropping like flies and I wasn’t even the one doing anything, but anyway I get to your cell and it was empty, an agent shot me in the chest and told me that you had gone rogue, that it was a stupid idea to send the Soldat to kill his best friend but I thought she was lying and you were killed.” The agent she was talking about was the very same one she attacked in the yard, her face dropped as she came face to face with the person she shot in the chest and left for dead.

“You-you got shot in the chest? Y/n!”

“What? I’m still alive aren’t I?”

“But how?”

“Because the thought of you still alive kept me alive.”

“Funny.”

“Hilarious.” She winked at him, once again he rolls his eyes at her. “I’m joking, I don’t know why or how I survived but I did. But anyway a week later I find the two men who hurt Evie and killed them, then got caught, got arrested and then sent here.”

Fury comes back into the room just as Bucky was about to say something. “All three of you will be released tomorrow morning as long as you sign these papers.”

“Tomorrow? But it’s sponge cake for dessert tomorrow.” She frowns, both men give her a deadpan look. “Sponge cake!”

“Well don’t sign and stay here then.”

“You was meant to say ‘don’t worry Y/n I’ll get you a sponge cake’ and I’ll then go ‘oh no it’s fine Fury’ and then you was going to say ‘no, no it’s fine, you deserve it for being the absolute best’ but no you had to ruin it.” Fury’s lips twitched and she could see that he was trying not to smile, Bucky on the other hand was having to bite his fist in order to stop himself from laughing.

“You going to sign or not?”

“The girls walk free?”

“Yes.”

“Where do I sign?”

Kandi and Rogan looked confused when their cell doors were opened and the guards told them they have five minutes to get their things, thinking they had done something wrong and were getting moved they frowned when Y/n stood in front of their cells with her own backpack slung over her shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Kandi whispered as they stood behind Y/n, her and Rogan were holding hands, both nervous about what was happening.

“Do you trust me?” Y/n asked turning around to the pair.

“Of course we do.”

“Then don’t worry.” The doors came open and they were walked towards the large gates, the warden made a comment under his breath which Y/n raised her eyebrow to him daring him to say it louder but he put his head down. Y/n stepped outside first smiling when she saw Bucky standing there with the rest of the Avengers and Fury. Frowning when she realised that the girls weren’t right behind her. “Come on.”

“What’s happening?”

“You’re free.” Both her friends frowning in confusion. “I got you out. Fly my pretty butterflies”

“Is this a joke?”

“Nope. You can stay if-“

“No! We’re coming.” They both rush out and run up to her.

“So… now what?” Y/n asked Bucky who looks at Fury.

“We go to the tower and these two need to sign some papers and then they can go and live their lives.”

“Right. Well let’s go then.”

Sam and Wanda lead the two girls towards the jet with Y/n following when Fury calls her name and holds out his hand.

“Sponge cake! Knew you loved me Nicky.”

After a long hug and saying goodbye eight times Kandi and Rogan were taken to their families, leaving with a promise that they’ll see each other again.

Bucky couldn’t sit still as Y/n was in a room talking to Fury, his knee kept bouncing the longer he waited, he ran his fingers through the short strands of his hair tugging lightly in annoyance. Nearly four hours later Steve came and sat next to him, both sitting in silence - that was until Steve broke it.

“Did you love her?”

“I did. Still do I guess.” Leaning forward on his knees he looked to the side at his best friend. “Is that stupid?”

“No.” Chuckling softly, Steve leaned back in his seat. “I still love Peggy and she married someone else and had a family. It’s not stupid Buck.”

“They could never break her, you know? Even with the chair and I think that’s what drew me to her. She helped me remember things, always reminding me who I was after it was my turn in that fucking chair.” Bucky paused and wiped his hands down his face. “She told me she came back for me and this whole time I thought she was dead.”

“Buck…”

“It’s fine. I’m fine. I-I just wish things were different.”

Steve didn’t know what to say so he put a reassuring hand on his best friend back and let the silence take over once again. An hour later Y/n and Fury emerged from the room, Fury greeted the two super soldiers before leaving the three alone.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked worriedly.

“I’m good, just had to tell Nicky Boo all my deepest darkest secrets.” She smiled although it wasn’t easy bringing up things that she had tried to keep hidden, Fury put his hand on hers when it started to shake as she told him the things she had done.

“Nicky Boo?” Steve questioned, amusement lacing his voice and face.

“Yeah, but I don’t think he likes his new nickname.” She shrugs, laughing along with the two men.

“Right well I’ll let you two catch up. Welcome to the team Y/n.”

“Thanks Steve.” As the blond walks away Bucky once again couldn’t take his eyes off her, and like last time Y/n looked everywhere other than him.

“You really have a staring problem.” She mumbled.

“I’m scared.” Bucky whispered, his hand reaching out to hold hers.

“Why?”

“Because if I look away I’m scared you’ll disappear and this is all a dream.”

Squeezing his hand Y/n steps closer and puts her hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating steadily. “It’s not a dream Bucky. I’m right here, I promise I’m not going to disappear.”

Bucky sighed a breath of relief at her words, putting his forehead against hers he closed his eyes. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, and I’m still so sor-“ She goes to apologise again but Bucky didn’t want to hear it, so he kissed her. Both of them sighing softly as their lips finally touched after so long.

Slowly opening his eyes Bucky smiled. “It’s not a dream.”

“How’d you know?”

“Because normally I wake up just before we kiss.”

“Aw you’ve been dreaming of me?”

“Shut up.”

Y/n burst out laughing as his cheeks turned red, he rolled his eyes before pulling her closer to him and kissing her more passionately than before. Neither one of them knew really what was in store for them but they didn’t care about that, not now that they were back in each other’s arms.

Tags: @imcinnamoons | @pigeonmama | @capsbestgirl77

[oneslimybastard]

mouthwashing spoilers ig bewaaare it's so fascinating just How Much people hate Jimmy Mouthwashing, despite that when it comes to Evil Deeds he actually lags behind a lot of other horror characters.

He's not a serial killer. He's not even really a killer (the only person he hands-on murders is Swansea in implied self defense). He's bitter, entitled, emotionally immature, impulsive, misogynistic, a rapist and enabled by Terminal Nice Guy Curly. Aka, a guy you've worked with, or a pissy uncle that keeps getting invited to christmas out of enforced politeness, your boyfriend's friend who keeps making you uncomfortable and you keep being told that he's a "good guy" deep down. A scumbag of which there are a dime a dozen of.

Any readings that he was a machivallian evil mastermind to me feels like huffing cope. Because the entire game is just Jimmy fuckign, floudering, as his actions suddenly have a lot of consequences that he wasn't emotionally equipped for. He thinks he can fix things, and that it's not really his fault, sure he assaulted Anya but she wasn't supposed to get pregnant from it, sure he crashed the ship in a temper tantrum but he didn't think Curly would get meatified from it. He sends Daisuke into the hutch because he's too much of a coward to do it himself, but he wasn't supposed to get injured from it. Yeah he's treated Anya like shit but she wasn't supposed to kill herself. Swansea comes after him with an axe — that wasn't supposed to happen either. And at the very end, Jimmy martyrs himself to "save" Curly (how saved he gets from being turned into a cryofrozen treat is debatable but I like to think it does ensure his survival, for the themes), so he can have some fucking solace that he managed to set things right before he kills himself — when in actuality all he did was ensure that he will run from taking responsibility for the rest of time.

After all, no one can hold you accountable if you're dead.

Jimmy isn't evil, you the player would be much more comfortable with his character if he WAS evil. He's just pathetic, making excuses, and emotionally lashing out, lashing out over the trauma he inflicted on someone else having consequences for him he sees no obvious escape from for once. Curly can't nepo him outa this one, lads. And all it takes is a few button presses to doom the entire ship.

Then he doesn't even have the guts to own it. He doesn't have the guts to own what a shitty person he is, called out directly in-text by Swansea who like we stan Swansea but I would not be surprised if his list of crimes (minus ship-crashing) looked exactly like Jimmy's, sexual assault included.

And that's the whole point of Mouthwashing innit. The worst guys you know will be some dick who refuses to own up to his own scumbaggery because he can't stand to look himself in the mirror if he does, and the people who cover for him. Evil doesn't exist (the contexts for where I think it does is a different and politically loaded conversation), usually it's just Some Fucking Guy who thought he was too good for therapy and magikarp splashed his path of carnage through other people's lives because of it.

Jimmy could have set things right, but that meant grappling with what a shitbag he is and the damage he caused Anya, and for certain people embittered by their own mediocrity, Armageddon is just the much more glamorous option.

And when he's forced to pick up the pieces and take responsibility, he breaks. Despite how much we hate it, it's very easy in this world to become a Jimmy, to fuck up and hurt people and then just go nuh-uh-nuh-uh until we've convinced ourselves we really did nothing wrong; to brainwash ourselves into thinking running away from accountability is the noble action. Even easier to become a Curly, with a pet Jimmy scrambling around that you can't be fucked to hold accountable because that's like, so messy, and a bother, it's fine, he's just a little grouchy you guys. Yes yes Anya I hear your concerns but like... I dunno, this puts me in a really complicated situation, you understand?

People know this instinctively, and that's why they feel like they have to parade Jimmy around like the Worst Guy Ever, to wash their hands of him, since that's more soothing than thinking about how much of a Boring Regular Guy he actually is. A Boring Regular Guy you've got in your life right now who kind of puts you off but nobody is actively dealing with. You included.

That's probably a large part of why this game haunts people, and why Jimmy just gets under their skin so bad to call him like the most irredeemable guy ever. In a genre he shares with like the Mad Father himself and Sachiko the torture ghost from Corpse Party, or the lady from the Amnesia DLC, etc. etc. (Astarion BG3 is also Objectively a shittier guy than Jimmy Mouthwashing, which isn't a fair comparison because different genres with different stakes, but it is a funny one.)

also he's in yaoi with curly soooooorry it's in the text as he cradles that meated up bod and stares straight into curly's bulging eyeball and forcefeeds him pills. and then his own leg. his love language is just complicated ok dont judge.

[mamawasatesttube]

Sorry, I know you don’t really like people bringing up Jason but I’m very curious. I read Straight on Till Morning several times before really joining Tumblr and I was surprised by how much you seem to dislike him compared to how nicely he was written in said fic. Is it cuz it’s a future fic so he can be more chilled out than in current comics or something?

Feel free to ignore me if you want. Curiosity does not owe me answers.

no worries, i don't mind polite questions! :P

so there's two things. a) sotm was written when the only real comics i'd read were sb94, yj98, tt03, batgirl (2000), and nightwing '96 (iirc - i might be forgetting one or two but the point is, when i was pretty new to comics). at this point wfa had tricked me into thinking jason actually had a consistent character arc that i simply hadn't read yet, and i assumed it would be weird to write a fic where dick, tim, and cass were all around as kon's friends + damian was there being jon's friend in the background, but jason didn't get mentioned, so i worked him in bc i thought that was like. gonna be weird if i didn't, even tho i didn't know what he was doing in postcrisis yet. i mostly just wanted to write about kon and did not yet have the strong "actually i do not care for 99% of post-rebirth comics" feelings i have today. if i were to do the sotm rewrite in my mind, jason would actually still be in his villain to antivillain era because that's my actual favorite era of him. i think it's fun when he's hanging around being like... a vengeful ghost who's just determined to make his problems Everyone's Problem. i'm not really interested in soft angsty daddy's boy jtodd or whatever sdkjfh and that seems to be the most popular version of him i see. it's either soft angsty daddy's boy jason or it's power fantasy cop-adjacent jason who has never done anything wrong in his life and is completely valid in every decision he's ever made. neither of these interests me.

which brings me to b) it's not so much that i dislike jason todd as a character so much as that his fans are so fucking annoying to me. that chapter of sotm? multiple people in the comments were there ONLY to talk about jason, even though the fic is literally about kon and not about jason and he just happens to appear for PART of one scene that chapter. it made me get sick of hearing about him. like theres soooo many jason todd fics out there can you go read those. i want to talk about kon! and i've had people bring him up on my completely unrelated fics too like he doesn't even get MENTIONED like one fic is about clark kon and tim, and someone was in the comments like "omg i bet clark was thinking about jason here" and i was so ... dude. read the room. or the fic even. it is not about him.

but even more than the way a lot of jason fans have this apparently compulsive need to make him the main character of the entire universe, i really can't stand how many of them i've seen spout literal straight up copaganda and/or defense of the death penalty. like they will bend over backwards so hard to defend why he was right to put 8 heads in a duffel bag or why it's morally correct to kill rapists that they start spewing right-wing talking points. and the constant need to make him the perfect imperfect victim ("he's angry and loud unlike GOOD victims--") and all of that just... it really turns me off of 99% of fan content about him that i've seen. it makes me genuinely kind of uncomfortable. like if you think there's a category of criminal that it's okay to execute (without a trial, even) i want nothing to do with you. can you guys just say it's sexy when a man is covered in blood after murdering a room full of people without having to be like "and he was right to do it too!!" because i promise he was not. and if you SAY any of this people will come up with a whole thing about how you must hate victims and/or poor people or some shit. its... really something.

all of that being said - i think there are interesting things you COULD do with his character. i think he can be a fascinating character! with stories worth telling! the family tragedy, the horror story, the vengeful ghost! but at this point with how rancid i find his fanbase i just really only want to see jason takes from people i know will not start spewing copaganda at me + people who i know appreciate tim kicking him in the balls (bc he kicked dick in the balls and tim is a bitch).

anyways. bring back tentatodd 2k25 who's with me

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way Master List

Gif by @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Raider!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Raider!Tommy Miller x Fem!Reader

Spotify Playlist

Inspiration came from @toxicanonymity and her fantastic Raider!Joel.

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, an both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

This is a reader fic, reader is early 20's, Joel is 40's at this point, reader is small enough that the men can lift her, but these are strong men. Reader is also refered to as little one, little girl ETC, but that's more in reference to her age/innocence than physical size.

Unknown chapters at this point but heres a starter

Chapter 1: Joel takes you away from everything you know

Chapter 2: Joel takes what he wants, Tommy tries to make things easier

Bonus Chapter: Tommy takes Little One's virginity

Chapter 3: Joel softens up, and readers learns her roll in all this

Chapter 4: Little One is getting cocky, and finds herself in trouble, but Tommy and Joel are there for her

Chapter 5: Joel and Tommy don’t feel good

Suggested drabble: Period sex

Chapter 6: Things change with Tommy, and Joel shows a more vunerable side during a near disaster.

Chapter 7: Little One and Lorenzo spend some time together, and Lorenzo drops a bomb on Little One.

sick bonus chapter

Chapter 8: For 6 months of Little One's pregnancy her relationship with Joel and Lorenzo shifts and changes.

Suggested Drabble: Brotherhood

Chapter 9: The aftermath.

Suggested Drabble: “It Wasn’t Always Like This”

Chapter 10: The escape does not go as planned.

Alternate ending: a happier end

Canon Sequel Mini Series, Ghost of You

Follow Ellie's life sifting through to lies to discover the truth of her creation.

Dark Ending Timeline: Going Under

Going Under: Chapter 1:

Going Under: Chapter 2:

Going Under: Chapter 2.5:

Going Under: Chapter 3

Going Under: June and Tommy

Going Under: Chapter 4

Going Under: Finale

Suggested drabbles to see how the uncles are doing after the canon ending: Lorenzo, Zach and Tommy, and Better Than Revenge

If neither ending satisfied you or if there was something you wanted to see but didn’t, if you wanna write something in universe will be happy to link it to my masterlist!

Art by @melodymakesart

Drabbles, One Shots, Thots

Period Sex: Period sex with Joel makes Little One more confused than ever at what she is to Joel

Well, That’s Alright Because I Like The Way It Hurts: Joel is gone for longer than expected and you worry about him. When he comes back, you let him take his frustration out on your body

Brotherhood: Tommy and Joel reflect on their relationship as brothers.

“It Wasn’t Always Like This”: In Tommy’s arms, Little One thinks over her year with Joel

Lorenzo, Zach and Tommy: Lorenzo is slowly recovering, meets his niece for the first time

Better than Revenge: Lorenzo and Tommy can’t get revenge on Joel, but they can get revenge on the one who started it all

Zach and Lorenzo’s Wedding

Gateaway Car by Taylor Swift, thoughts by @fandxmslxt69

Art by @k-ra

Joel and Lorenzo by @fen-is-unwell

If this sort of thing doesn't interest you or triggers you, hide dub con and non con from your tags as I will be tagging any fics like that as such

Main Blog (filled with more normal fics lol): @romanarose

This is absolutely not anything anyone needs to do bc ur lovely comments are enough but if anyone makes a book board, art, a fic or anything based off this series, you absolutely can! I know some creators aren’t for it but I love when people do that, and I’ve written a few fics for a few series myself. If you are so inclined and are okay with it, I’ll attach them to this master list (that includes if you don’t like my endings you can make your own 😂)

But as always, nice comments mean the world. I know with this sort of content you may not want to Reblog it on your page, but if you leave a comment or send an anon, that means the world and keeps me writing!

[fuwaprince]

👉👈 Hi friends! I have a long, serious post made just for you(!) that isn't full of spoilers, smut or mooning lawn gnomes. Please read if you can, this is a 💥 mutual aid request 💥

It has been a horribly painful and long while as most people following/keeping up with me know. and in a few days I'm going to be down $1500, which is basically all my fucking $

I can't afford Christmas for anybody, which sucks and I'm very sorry. I can't even take care of myself and haven't been, which also sucks and I'm very sorry

Landlords spontaneously raised rent on me more than halfway through this month as punishment for not getting to my house chores and not communicating, to be totally honest with you. I feel ashamed and awful about it but I didn't want to clean the place while multiple ppl living here had tested positive for COVID and kept walking around unmasked... I am not fully vaxxed because I've been too depressed to get any kind of necessary medical care done and I didn't want to catch COVID in the middle of my finals week for the semester. I woke up to being angrily and rudely bitched at first thing after the last of my finals (I passed at least). It wasn't a humanizing text. Fuck the mistreatment though. Rent is now almost doubled and it won't be lowered

There was no room for negotiation and I truly believe they've resorted to pricing me out of living here because the group of renters psychologically tormenting me wasn't effective (actually- putting a picture of my rapist on the fridge rly was super effective in getting me to isolate myself in my room all day and so was outing me as trans to the transphobic ass neighbors.... But I didn't and still don't have any place better to move out to, like the way they were hoping I would. Yes, I have looked and BEGGED btw)

I want out of here NOW, but I can't leave. I tried and had to come back because it was the best option. I can't afford to stay in a motel/hotel/BnB just to get away from them for a day or two during Christmas. I don't have any friends who I can spend the holiday with either. During the semester, I resorted to convincing classmates with keys to locked buildings to let me crash in them while they worked at night and I would leave before anybody showed up. Now that school is out, I can't do that. I don't have any family I can reach out to for support or friends who I can depend on for immediate help. I have been crying day in and day out for weeks. I have records of it posted throughout my blog. Literally crying for days on end. I'm being so fucking transparent

All that lump of text is to explain to whoever is out there, who might be listening and willing and able, to please consider helping me, if and ONLY IF able. I know times are tough and if you'd rather use your $ for other reasons or just don't have any to spare, don't sweat it and take care! 🫂

I've thought about what I could do for a long time and have helped myself how I can. It isn't enough. I've applied for so much assistance. Been approved and been sabotaged by my inhumane mom (who does not love me) via stealing my legal documents and letters and hiding them for months. My mind jumps to grim places but I'm clinging for dear life to whatever hope I have left that says things will get better. I wish I knew somebody with a business that I could work for. Part of me feels so fucking terrible for asking for help because I feel like a waste of all your resources. I feel like I shouldn't ask, like I really do not fucking deserve help, but there are friends online who care, who I know mentioned being interested in helping in whatever ways they can

So to the people who care to seriously me, I'm ready to accept it: please send me nice words to get through this and feel less alone. It feels pathetic to ask but I would love a nice letter. A nice card even. Kind words of any kind would go a long way. It means more to me than food. I have felt so broken and every day feels like a test to figure out how badly I actually want to live

I'm also leaving my cash app and paypal here in case anybody would like to do more than what I'm comfortable asking but probably very likely will inevitably need very very soon. I will be left with fucking nothing and I will have no idea what to do once rent is paid

Thank you to those of you who have sent love, offered to listen and heard me out. I really wish it wasn't so hard to survive. I'm trying to feel better knowing there are people out there who are also without help and hoping the best, but it doesn't make me feel any better or comforted tbh. I just wish the help was there for us. I wish there was a place to go for spare love, care, compassion, empathy, kindness, humanity, generosity... I need that more than I need $. Call me stupid but that's what I live for. I don't live for paying to survive in terrible conditions. I live for love and to smile with friends

I hope to write back to the friends who have already been so kind as to message me soon btw. I'm sorry for not replying sooner. Your overwhelming support is sincerely sweet and sometimes I cry because I can't believe people are so nice (to me???). It'll give me something to do that doesn't make me feel like dying! :') so thank you thank you thank you *fist bump*

Hope you're all doing as well as you can and that somehow things get better. Hope anybody else struggling like me doesn't make the mistake of isolating like a sick and dying animal. You deserve love. You deserve support. Don't be like me. Have the courage to reach out to the people who care about you for help as early on into your emergency as possible. Don't let your situation snowball because you spend so long trying to figure out if you're worth it!!! This Random Tumblr user is here to tell you that YOU ARE. Sending my infinite everlasting unconditional love. Be nice to yourselves. Be nice to each other. Fuck the hateful assholes who wish I would just kill myself already. Tell your friends you love them. Happy Holidays!!!

And here's a single picture of a mooning lawn gnome at the very end, as a treat! I told you this post wasn't full of it.... It just ended with it 👉👉

[strange-guy-in-the-forest]

harper appreciation/analysis rant

i think harper would hate anything that would make them feel weak or vulnerable BUT they would get turned on by it. they'd be mortified but also grateful for the unique experience then go jerk off about it or maybe make their patients re-enact it for them.

i also don't think they mind appearing weak. they are after all just a humble doctor who takes on tough cases like traumatized orphans, not a mayor or high elk or whatever, despite being a skilled hypnotist. as long as they feel in control in a situation, it doesn't bother them. probably because they think they're the smartest person in the room and out-scheming everyone else.

they're also just, so, so, so. all of the harper love points are gotten through being sexually receptive to harper, in situations where harper is in complete control. harper is vulnerable when they're overtaken by lust! they're stuttering and no longer the logical doctor so it makes sense that they'd much rather enact their lust through voyeurism + masturbation where they don't have to look like a fool. or they only enact it on people (cough cough orphans, the insane) whose opinions don't really matter. harper feeling affection for a pc who sees them in this maximally-controlled vulnerability and is responsive to it, is just, cute.

im sorry-not-sorry but harper is an evil monster but an adorable pathetic evil monster.

but like the patheticness doesn't detract from the scariness and that's like the best part! harper is deeply bitchless BUT you're going to be their bitch whether you like it or not. and, you will like it soon enough.

i just love the combo of them being this evil pervert with a need for control. they are so excessive in their lust and it's just boiling under this professional persona. like you can guilt Harper over the fact that they're a doctor into not abducting PC! they do seem to take actual pride in their work, it's not a complete farce. they're very against even letting other people directly force PC to do things. the elk cult seems like it's existed in some form for a long time, i wouldn't be surprised if harper's thought the cult was inevitable and that they were being a good person by hypnotizing sex slaves into enjoying it, so everyone's happy.

harper actually considering morals in their actions is just the cherry on top. im trying to avoid referencing the q&as as those aren't canon, but vrel has said that harper has a code of ethics and that harper's greatest flaw is that they don't do the right thing when no one's watching. like you're telling me harper feels GUILT when they're being a shameless rapist. that's fucking delicious. like their giving into their lust not only overpowers the ability to appear professional and intelligent it also causes them to loose their actual morals. like the guy who is trying to get people to give up their minds to lust is actually also giving up their mind to lust too! that's like the one morally consistent thing harper does actually!

and i dont think sexual abuse occurs because people "give into lust" or whatever, you can just get a dildo (at sirris' shop! but this isnt going to turn into a sirris post). harper's abusing their institutional power because they can get away with it. but this analysis is in the context of a game where there is evil magical horny corruption. though, i will say institutional violence is a big theme in dol, especially in relation to harper.

i just love the tension between harper's intelligent kind professional persona and their animal lust. the lust threatens to overwhelm this doctor who i think actually thinks of themselves as kind and intelligent. it's just we see pc's POV where they are cruel to the "lessers" of society. they are in a situation where they can abuse anyone and in a way their freedom to give into their lust, controls them! honestly, it probably scares them, going back to them feeling out of control from their lust. it's why they're a voyeur and why they prefer their sexual partners hypnotized or drugged.

harper isn't trying to fuck pc, they have these ethics where they think turning PC into a happy brainless slut is the right thing to do but they understand its wrong to take advantage of their patients, but they just can't help themselves to have some of pc too. and so them abusing their power to have sex with pc is also, a vulnerability and corruption of their self.

anyway i feel like im reaching and/or repeating myself now so this is all to say:

Harper is both very powerful and very vulnerable when they're lusting over PC and so PC should fuck them in the ass and take their virginity. 😋😋😋

[rottenfyre]

sorry if this is random or you’re having to repeat yourself but

from what i’ve seen/read of yours, you seem to lean team green and i’m just wondering if that’s right?

again don’t want to start like an argument or some stupid fucking discourse over a FICTIONAL world but i just find it really interesting hearing other people’s opinions.

so basically i was just wondering if you do back the greens, is it because you believe that aegon should be king because he’s a man, or based on the books i’m guessing, would be a better monarch bc of characteristics etc…

coz don’t get me wrong i love show alicent and show aegon is easy to sympathise with but when i read fire&blood and watched hotd i thought that no one was really team green because rhaenyra was chosen by the king to be queen, and then was usurped because of her gender, not her ability to rule or anything.

just feel like i need to clarify again, i seriously don’t rlly care that much if you are team green and for whatever reason, i just love having discussions like this!

so i would love to hear your thoughts and opinions! love you’re writing btw!!

Alright so if you didn’t know, I run another blog solely dedicated to Tom Glynn-Carney. I’m into Tom, not Team Green. My fanfics are written because I find him beautiful and talented, and that includes the characters he’s portrayed. I’ve always been clear that I’m his fan, not necessarily a part of the HotD fandom or a staunch supporter of the Green faction. But overall I write for every character in Asoiaf world, because I'm a fan of books. Hopefully, that clears up why my fanfics have the tone and focus that they do.

Now, to answer your question: do I think Aegon should be king simply because he’s a man? Absolutely not. Likewise, I wouldn’t support Rhaenyra just because she’s a woman. Both these views—gender alone being the deciding factor—are reductive and ignore the complexities of the Dance of the Dragons.

The book makes it clear that the Greens didn’t challenge Rhaenyra’s claim purely because she was a woman. Aegon’s gender was used as a convenient argument, but the underlying reasons went much deeper. If Alicent had only daughters, I firmly believe the Greens would have found another way to challenge Rhaenyra. The succession conflict was less about misogyny in isolation and more about political, familial, and personal grievances.

What I find puzzling is how some people can sympathize with Aegon in the show but not in the book. Aegon’s characterization in the book, while flawed, is far more nuanced and less morally damning than his portrayal in the show.

Aegon is not a rapist. Yes, he is guilty of inappropriate behavior like groping maids, but there’s a significant difference between unwanted touching (which is still wrong) and outright sexual assault. The show’s portrayal exaggerates his flaws to a point where it distorts his character entirely.

Aegon loves his family. He isn’t a bully to Aemond and shows care for his siblings. His relationship with them is much less contentious than what the show depicts.

Alicent is not an evil figure akin to the "evil queen" trope. She’s more akin to Catelyn—a protective mother who is fiercely loyal to her children and acts out of a sense of duty and love. Her treatment of Rhaenyra, while harsh, is understandable given the political and personal feelings she endured.

And most team green fans that I saw are book readers while show watchers mostly support team black.

Rhaenyra, in both the book and show, demonstrates poor leadership qualities. However, there are key differences between the two portrayals.

In the books, Rhaenyra at least has the courage to pursue her ambitions. She’s unapologetic about her desires and choices, even if they’re flawed. However, her tenure as queen was disastrous. She neglected her responsibilities as heir and, once crowned, failed to rule effectively. Her leadership destabilized the realm further and led to significant losses, including the destruction of dragons.

In the show, Rhaenyra is portrayed as hesitant and indecisive. She’s framed as a "chosen one" by the gods, universally loved and morally righteous, which feels unearned. Despite having more dragons and greater initial support, she fails to secure her claim effectively. Alicent practically hands Aegon over to her.

Meanwhile, Aegon in the show has absolutely nothing. Unlike his book counterpart, he doesn’t have his family’s loyalty, his dragon (Sunfyre is dead), or even his crown. He has no army, no support, and yet he still going to kill Rhaenyra and take the throne back. Why would I root for Rhaenyra in this scenario?

In the book on the other hand, Aegon proves himself during the Dance. Initially reluctant to rule, he grows into the role and accepts his responsibilities. In the books, Aegon wanted to remarry for duty, seeking a legitimate heir rather than marrying for lust. Defeats Rhaenyra, retakes the throne, and restores order to a realm she left in chaos. Punishes those who harmed dragons, showing a sense of justice and loyalty to his family’s legacy. And so much more.

If Aegon was sitting on the throne during Rhaenyra's time on the throne, I believe he would have prevented much of the harm done to the dragons and the realm. His leadership during the latter stages of the Dance demonstrates his growth and potential as a king. And unlike Rhaenyra, he actually listen to people who are wise and smart.

That said, the one character who truly deserved the throne was Daeron. He’s portrayed as intelligent, dutiful, and competent—everything one could want in a ruler. If Viserys had named Daeron as his heir, the Dance likely wouldn’t have happened, and the Targaryen dynasty could have avoided its catastrophic decline.

Some argue that Jacaerys should have been king when I say Daeron deserve the throne, but that argument doesn’t hold up. It’s equivalent to claiming that Joffrey or Tommen were legitimate kings, which they weren’t because they were bastards. Similarly, Jace and Luke’s status as bastards makes their claims to the throne invalid, regardless of personal feelings toward them.

Daeron, by comparison, outshines Jace in every way—leadership, legitimacy, and potential. Had he been given the opportunity, Daeron could have brought peace and prosperity to the realm.

Ultimately, my perspective is shaped by the source material. Aegon, despite his flaws, demonstrates growth and proves himself as a capable ruler during the Dance. Rhaenyra, on the other hand, fails to rise to the challenges of leadership and leaves the realm worse off. While Aegon was a better king than Rhaenyra, Daeron remains the most deserving of the throne due to his competence and character.

Yet again, I'm a fan of Tom and Asoiaf not house of the dragon. And thank you very much for being respectful and I'm happy that you enjoy my works.

[itsmebytch001]

Caught Tagging:

When Aaron opened his front door he did not expect to see his daughter in hand cuffs along with his brother looming over her in his doorway.

Aaron: "Are you fucking joking? Your joking right?" He asked with you sat on the leather couch still in hand cuffs waiting to draw ether your fathers or Uncle's attention to free you from these bracelets.

Jeff: "Nope, I'm not caught her tagging some wall so I thought I bring her to you"

Aaron: "In hand cuffs?"

Jeff: "Yeah in hand cuffs"

Aaron: "...Is this because of that time I left you with by high street to take the fall for me when we threw up on that wall?"

Jeff: "Aaron that was 20 years ago-"

Aaron: "Now your taking it out on the young ones-"

Jeff: "Oh my god, can you shut up and listen!?"

Aaron: "This city's got rapists and murders just runnin around but you took the time to arrest your niece like she killed somebody"

Jeff: "She tagged a government building!" He yelled throwing up his hands exuberated.

Aaron: "Do you even hear yourself right now?! What is your wife gonna think once I tell her you arrested your niece for tagging! Or your son, huh? What's Miles gonn-"

Jeff: "I did not arrest her, but I still could"

Aaron: "Your gonna give your family a record?"

Jeff: "I can't just let her slide because were family"

Aaron: "For tagging?"

Jeff: "For tagging"

Aaron: "Your gonna give your baby niece a criminal record...for tagging?"

Jeff: "If I catch her on it again, sure"

Aaron: "I'm not sure if your my brother man"

Jeff: "Look, I'm not trying to be the bad guy"

Aaron: "You put my child in fucking handcuffs!"

Jeff: "You don't discipline her! You see her tagging shit, skipping school and you don't even ground her!"

Aaron: "Oh my God, Please get out of my face with this shit"

Jeff: "I'm not leaving until you ground her!"

Aaron: "Don't tell me how to raise my child, I only see you like twice a year, mild your fucking self"

Jeff: "I-"

Aaron: "Outta my house"

Jeff: "What?"

Aaron: "Out of my house, now"

...

...

Jeff: "Fine"

Aaron: "FINE!"

Jeff: " FINE!"

He yelled while slamming the door. Once Jeff had stormed out Aaron looked back at you and realised you were still in hand cuffs, he quickly opened his door to yell down the hallway.

Aaron: "You really gonna leave your niece over here with hand cuffs on?! HUH!?"

Jeff, from down the hall: "Get them off your self!"

Aaron slammed the door himself and sat himself onto the couch with you.

Y/n: "Your two argue like teen girls"

Aaron:"... shut up, you don't understand what it's like to have siblings"

Y/n: "There's still time, Diana's been talking about having another bab-"

Aaron: "I'd rather die"

[brooooswriting]

Hello broko loco it's been a minute.

So this idea just came to mind.

How about a Mafia AU.

Jenna x Mafia leader FR

So how about Jenna getting kidnapped by R's rivals and that's when she actually finds out r is part of the Mafia. Her being taken away, then R finds out before the other bitches make demands because... connections. And she goes on a killing spree just to save her girl.

Then they talk about everything [tragic backstory intestifies (only if you feel like it)] and Jenna ends up falling asleep in R's arms due to being exhausted.

Feel free to delete this if it makes you uncomfortable. Take your time ik you have situation pt 6 on the way that's why I'm insisting on this.

And I hope you have a great day<3

Should have told ya

Jenna Ortega x Mafia leader reader

A/n: I don’t know shit about the mafia and I couldn’t really find anything online that made sense to me😂

There was a part of your life that you didn’t like to talk about and you didn’t want people to know about. Sure that sounds drastic but everybody who knew was in danger too, so you liked to keep to yourself. You actually did in general, until you met a certain actress. You ran into each other when one of your newbies fucked up, you and your crew were in a hurry and one of them ran into her. In General no problem but you didn’t like the fact that he didn’t say sorry, sure you were a mafia boss but that doesn’t mean that you guys can’t be polite. Especially after you saw how pretty the girl was, you let the others walk past you as you hurried back to say that you’re sorry. And somehow a relationship built from that.

You still never told her that you were part of the mafia, let alone that you were the boss. Your mafia was kinda different thou, you didn’t like killing people for nothing and you didn’t like the rivalry between the different mafias, you believe that you did more of a good thing. You still killed people and did some dirty stuff but a lot of them were people who abused kids, rapists or stuff like that. Because let’s be honest, the law system was shit and someone had to do something.

But there were people who had problems with that, especially another mafia group in California. You liked to believe that this was the only useless blood flowing you were the cause off.

“Baby?” You called as you walked into your house, Jenna was waiting for you after a long day of work, you couldn’t wait to see her. “Jen?” You called out again, your voice louder this time, but there was still no answer. You called out again and again, dialing her number walking trough every room, she was nowhere to find, you even started calling her co stars but nobody knew where she was. You couldn’t help but panic as you called in some of your members, hoping that they would help you find her. It only got worse when you found a envelope in front of your house with headphones in it.

After around 20 minutes you sent 12 troops of 3 out to look for her all around the city, you and four others tried to track her. There was no luck in tracking her phone, it was either turned off or destroyed, but you did have luck when you hacked into some cameras of your rivals where you found Jenna sitting in an abandoned building, tears streaming down her face. Your blood boiled with anger, you immediately called everybody to the location, this was gonna be their end.

After around 10 black cars pulled up to the house you entered. They were checking each room, you darting for the living room where you thought she’d be but there was only one person, Tom, second man of your rivals. “Where is she?” You growled at him, having problems keeping your anger at bay. “You really thought we were gonna keep her here? You’ll give us what we want and then maybe, just maybe, you’ll see her again” that was enough for you, you nodded at Mike, your second man, who grabbed Tom to hold him still.

After you’ve punched him around 20 times his face was bloody, his nose and jaw broken but he still wouldn’t talk and it fueled your anger. “You know what, I’m over this and I’m over playing nice. Torture him until he talks and if he doesn’t? Kill him.” Suddenly the guy was panicked, you weren’t known for torture and you seemed so serious that it scared the shit out of him.

Not even 15 minutes after you’ve left you heard him call you causing you to grin. “Now you wanna talk?” You asked as you entered with a smile, “yes, she’s at the warehouse down south” he was heaving, tears streaming down his face while yours held a smile. “Good, keep him here, if she’s not there, kill him” after you hit him one more time you left with 10 more people.

“Alright, this time no talking. Me and Mike are going in and if there’s a problem I’m calling back up alright? Somebody gets in your way? Kill them, nobody takes my girl” everybody was surprised by your behavior, you normally were pretty chill and laid back and you never got close to anyone really. “We are going in”

You kicked in the door, making your presence known as two people already came running towards you. Each of you fought one to the ground, you slicing the throat of yours. It went like that until you had around 10 people down, most of them dead. After you killed the last one you finally saw her, they had stuffed her mouth, tied her to a chair and ripped her shirt to the point where you could see her bra. Their leader, Paul, a complete ass, stood in front of her saying something that made her whimper which made you growl.

You nodded at Mike before running off and tackling their boss to the ground, a surprised sound coming from the girl next to you. While you repeatedly hit the man under you, Mike cut the ropes to free the smaller girl who cowered next to him, the guy she knew as your best friend. “Never. Touch. My. Girl. Again” you stressed each word with a harsh hit to his face before finally standing up to look at Jenna.

“Are you alright baby?” Your voice immediately went soft when you talked to her, your hands reaching for her waist while hers landed on your shoulder. “You’re part of the fucking mafia” she gasped slightly pushing you away from her, “you’re not just a part, you’re the fucking boss” you studied her face as your thumb rubbed circles over her waist. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I thought it was saver when you didn’t know, I’m so sorry baby” you told her but she only shook her head. “Let’s just get out of here” she grumbled and walked away causing you to sigh. “Mike, go with her. She shouldn’t be alone right now” you told him as you knew that she didn’t wanna see you right now.

Mike jogged towards her until he was next to her, “you’re a part of this too huh?” She said looking straight toward. “Yes, but you shouldn’t be too harsh on y/n. She was scared of you getting hurt and when you disappeared today? It was the first time in 19 years that I saw her really scared, she would have blown up the whole damn world to find you” he explained as they walked up to your car. Jenna’s heart sank when she heard that, it did kind of make sense that you didn’t tell her but today really was a shock.

“I’m gonna let somebody drive you home… to your home and there’s gonna be someone stationed in front of your house the whole time” you told her as you opened the door for her as she nodded. “Goodbye Jenna, im sorry” you mumbled again before closing the door. Her heart sank again when you closed the door, the whole thing sounded like a forever goodbye. She hoped that you’d come to her house in a different car, but you didn’t.

She waited a whole hour before calling you. “Jenna? Are you alright?” You quickly rushed out the words as soon as you picked up the phone, “no! You’re gonna get your ass here and we are gonna talk about everything” you sighed, “Jen-“ “Stop it! Get your ass here right now” this time you didn’t protest, you said your goodbye and walked to your car.

When she opened the door for you, your heart sped up. She was wearing one of your hoodies that went to her knees which made her look adorable. “Come in” she said as she pulled you to the couch. “Talk” you chuckled at her bossiness but started nonetheless.

“My parents were shot in a mafia fight when I was 8, I was alone in their restaurant sitting next to their dead bodies when an old man came inside. Just minutes before I saw him trying to protect my parents, he introduced himself as Frank, saying that he knew my parents and that he was very sorry for their death and that he’d like me to come with him. He’d take care of me and he did, he did more than I could have asked for. Years later, I believe I was 14 I learned that he was the reason my family died, he was the reason they were involved in it. But I couldn’t be mad at him, my father decided to join on his own, he was a grown man after all and he tried to do good.” you took a deep breath, talking about your parents was still hard for you. Jenna noticed and slightly curled herself into you, the heat and the familiar feeling that radiated off of her comforted you. “Frank retired 5 years ago, making me the boss as I was like his daughter, I learned everything about it since he took care of me. We always tried to make this a better place which some of the other mafia groups didn’t like, which is what brings us to today. I never told you because I thought I could keep you safe that way, my dad told my mom and she died because of it. You’re my first relationship since I’ve been 15, I was always too afraid of putting them in danger. Until you came, you had this hold on me that I just couldn’t break your heart” you finished as tears welled in your eyes.

“Oh honey” Jenna sat herself on your lap with her arms around your neck pressing your face into her chest as you silently cried. “I get that you didn’t tell me but next time, just be honest so I know what I’d get myself into. I still would be here you know?” She pulled your head up to kiss you, you immediately kissed her back as your arms tightened around her waist to pull her closer. “I love you Jenna” you whispered against her lips, making her smile, “I love you too my little mafia boss” both of you giggled before she settled into your arms in a more comfortable position. You just held her for a moment, happy that she was still with you and that she was fine. “I wanna meet Frank this week” she mumbled sleepily and not even 2 minutes later she was asleep on top of you causing your heart to melt.

You carefully moved until you were laying on the couch with her laying on top of you, you kissed her head before closing your eyes too.

She is going to make a great mafia boss