#this year has been so fucking bad
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almost cried during my psych appointment. iâm so tired. fuck even my psych was like âwhy is everything so difficult for you at every step?â and im like GIRL I WISH I FUCKING KNEW anyways finally got done w that it went overtime there was so much to talk about and getting my meds is gonna be uh difficult :) to say the least :) but itâs in motion i guess and i went to the dispensary to finally get to pick up medical carts since ive been out of pa for the last three months and have been paying unsafe prices because they wonât take my med card there (pa is the only state that they donât take :) only to come home and find out my cars just expired and i was like okay well i already paid and renewed it months ago and turns out i STILL have to fucking jump through extra hoops to get my new card even though i already paid the state months ago and long story short my card is expired and they wonât send em a new one until i do a bunch for shit and pay more money and somehow that wa any breaking point cause now iâm in the parking lot trying not to cry because nothing goes right and it just goes wrong in every way i didnât even imagine at every step of the way and im so tired and nothing is getting better and im completely fucking alone with this and god why the fuck donât i live in a country where self euthanasia is legal because j canât fucking take this anymore
#i know iâm being dramatic this isnât about not being able to pick up fuckin weed carts#itâs just the last thread of my rope#this year has been so fucking bad#it feels like 2016 is coming back to fucking haunt me#worst year of my life part two electric boogaloo!#except thereâs so many other years that were also terrible lol
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Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)
It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.
Bonus:
#My art#One Piece#Nico Robin#Sir Crocodile#Y'all the OP brainrot is BAD#According to an SBS Crocodile would absolutely spoil his child rotten if he had one. *We all know how Robin's childhood went*#Scary mofo who does not know how to parent a child but boy does he have the spirit + Child who has never had proper parent in her life#They'd make. An absolute disaster of a duo. This AU concept is so fucking funny to me okay#But also sad because I would fucking die for baby Robin she deserves the fucking world#This poor girl has never been spoiled in her entire life AND NOW PAPADILE IS HERE TO SPOIL HER#You know it's funny. I know 11 yo Robin should LOOK older than 8 year old Robin. But Crocodile is a fucking giant so she's still baby sized#Also I just had too much fun drawing Robin looking as pathetic as humanly possible lmao#She's a like a wet kitten in the rain đ
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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Just a random question to my artist followers: does anyone enjoy posting their stuff on tiktok? I can't tell if its just a me thing or if that app and its userbase are the most obnoxious compared to other social media
#txt#like any time i post something the comments are 10% related to the art#and then 50% is 'omg did you know this guy draws porn!!' and then LINKING THE FUCKING ACCOUNT#35% is someone complaining about gay people or women#and then the last 5% is someone yelling at me because they confused me with some other guy with a similar name/art style#ive also been sent genuine death threats over my dragon ball ship art. something i drew a YEAR ago#because tiktok's privacy policy is so bad that people can't dm you but they can still send message requests#is it because tiktok has a much younger userbase?#like we know how batshit twitter is and instagram is pretty annoying as well but tiktok feels like nobody knows what a filter is
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me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))
#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to#sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now#yay? i guess#also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious#also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now#bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree#but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow#now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should#not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually#super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta#just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year#ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr#studyspo#bookblr#booklr#study#november 2024#2024
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consumed with the urge to draw with ed holding cat. that's all
edit: metal arm wrong side bc canvas flip
#the legs look so fucked to me so cropped version first#edward elric#cat#I cannot explain#is it not self explanatory#probably bad to post this at 1 am my time but my impatience has always been strong and today is no different#fma#fma03#fullmetal alchemist#fmab#I really struggled with this and I still don't completely love it but I wanted to post something#it's been about a year since I first got BACK into fma#still into it lolol#fan art#anyway life updates... nothing really#I have been listening to hozier's new album for weeks and I saw him in concert which was awesome!#today I saw the PJO trailer and it brought me happiness#sketch#proportions are so fucked like I love edward's build but it really is hard for me to nail down#hope someone enjoys!
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Firefox-official vs electronicmail
Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole itâs electronicmail or nothing
#this one was hard to respond to because it elicited the usual anon rage in me#but i had to think about it anyway.#this blog has been around for less than a month and it is driving me fucking crazy#donât you think i know?#dont you think it hurts enough already#i dont want this blog either i want my old blog back with all my stuff on it#i would like to stick around#because i loved posting#and i get that youâre just having fun#but iâm making an example of you#less than a month vs five years#âhousehold nameâ firefox official#spent five years building that thing#and now itâs just this.#i keep forgetting#and then iâm here again#not home#i know you all feel bad enough for me already#but itâs so hard to be myself because the environment on here is SO different#we were HAPPY#WE WERE SO HAPPY#Umm⌠Or whatever.#guess i could go back to firefox unofficial#but that feels far too close to the sun. and iâm done with the wings i think.#i dont mean to be so serious#a total mood killer i know#i just dont know how to proceed exactly#because when i post like normal i cant help but feel sad#and when i post about being sad its just sort of obnoxious#iâm not really asking for pity i just want to explain where i am at
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Y'all, I hate to say it, but no, Nandermo did not "go canon", in an "alternate universe" or through "implications" or otherwise. They were making fun of us. That was the point of all the little nudges and open questions that were quickly squashed. That was the point of the hypnosis ending. The point of that hypnosis was quite literally "Here, let's give the perfect fake wish-fulfillment ending to parts of our fanbase" (which is why there were three. They're fake. That's the point. The point is that they are supposed to be fantasies to appeal to people's hopes for the show).
Having Nandor and Guillermo as a classic sitcom couple set to a laugh track in a universe where none of the other characters exist was a jab at shippers who wanted Nandermo to be canon and cared more about that than the other characters or the premise of the show. They were making fun of "and they lived happily ever after" type fanwork. They were making fun of people who, in their eyes, ignored the irreverence and violence and black comedy of the show in order to make fluffy slash content. They were explicitly saying: "This is how we see you, and this is how we see what you want from this show, and we are telling you that it won't happen and we in fact have contempt for the very concept."
Why do you think they kept baiting the ship until the literal last lines of the show? They were making fun of us. They were saying "Ha! You still thought this would happen? After years of us saying it won't, to your face? Idiots." It's a comedy show, and they were making shippers the butt of the joke. They've been doing it for seasons now.
This is literally what Supernatural did back in the day. And nobody said that they made Destiel canon when they had an in-universe/alternate-universe stage play where the actors "explore Destiel". Fans back then recognized that it was a joke at their expense. That's what this is. Same as what happened in BBC Sherlock that one time, where in-universe conspiracy theorists said that Sherlock was in love with Moriarty (a ship the creators deliberately baited, mind you, same as they have here), specifically for the purpose of laughing at and making fun of that theory.
I'm so sorry, guys. I know you wanted to hope. I know you wanted to believe that the things the writers said at that con weren't true, but they were. I know because I wanted to hope too, even when I knew full well it wouldn't happen. They've been plain about how they feel about the ship for years. They saw it as a joke, one that drew in viewers, but was objectionable at its core. And they've followed through on that by baiting and jabbing up until the very end.
#WWDITS#WWDITS spoilers#Wwdits finale#Wwdits s6#Wwdits critical#Nandermo#At this point im glad to be done with this fucking show. Its been declining in quality for YEARS#Its treatment of women especially has been getting really bad#And the jokes have gone so stale#All things that they acknowledge with their characteristic ``lol that was the point`` attitude in the finale#I never ever ever want to watch a show just for the promise of a ship ever again. This has been a waste of my damn time#I wasnt even going to watch season six. I just wanted to know if they would actually go canon in the finale#And what do i get for my time and energy? Made fun of#Really living up to your name as The New Superwholock. Thanks WWDITS for a good first 3-4 years. I will treasure those
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If youâre gonna care about prison abolition and justice you are necessarily going to have to care about the people who DID do those crimes and just want to reintegrate and live a normal life without hurting anyone. You're gonna have to be cool with the fact that the guy scanning your groceries mightâve raped someone. You're gonna have to relax about the possibility that your bank teller used to be a career criminal. The person sitting next to you on the bus mightâve committed three different murders, and as long as he's not about to commit a fourth right now, that's not your fuckin' problem. People don't disappear from society after they commit crimes, and most of them really just want to live a normal, stable life instead of going back to that. And the best way to make sure they don't relapse is to ensure they're able to live that peaceful life instead of freaking out because the guy next door used to run a dogfighting ring. You donât have to be friends with them, you don't even have to like them, but you're gonna need to be okay with them existing in society. Sorry.
#spitblaze says things#SPITBLAZE SMASH#ive been playing y8 and lemme tell you. NOBODY else with this kind of reach and budget is tackling this topic#'aaaah that guy used to be a yakuza and hes helping OTHER yakuza find gray area jobs aaaaaaaah'#as opposed to what exactly. unless you want every single person whos ever committed a crime to die they cant just disappear#and anyone who has EVER been a yakuza has a mandatory 5 year period where they have ZERO social safety net. no apartment. no phone plan.#nothing. nada. zip. zilch#this person couldve been expelled because they gave away every last dollar the clan had to charity.#you still gotta go five years at rock bottom and good fucking luck if you survive that#society has undesirables and just shoving them to the side where you dont have to think about them#only makes it more likely they'll relapse#so either be normal about thr fact that someone might have been a felon or a bad person at some point#or shut the fuck up lmao
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the brainworms are kiiling me. have a dad and son đď¸
#papyrus#gaster#dadster#undertale#theres still not enough papyrus and dadster content where sans isnt present compared to the other way around#what will be enough you ask? well idk the exact amount cus numbers are infinite but yaknow#gaster supports let papyrus say fuck day#i believe he just sucks at parenting so papyrus cussed his whole life#and since gaster found out about the holiday papyrus has been nothing but encouraged by his dad#mostly out of spite towards the people who still believe his son to be 5 years old#im sorry i saw someone refer to papyrus as a prec**s cin***on ro*l and had to do something#my shoulder hurts so bad and drawing and typing worsens it and i have an exam tommorow i need to rest it for and look what im doing.#being silly.#>:[
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soap's whole deal being sniper and demolitions gets me going bc on the surface they sound so different but when you get into it, you realise it's bc soap's smart
sniping is all math; calculating distances and wind interference and bullet drop. something i think people overlook is he was listed as a sniper first so it can be implied that he's better at it than demolitions. he does more sniping in both campaigns than demolitions work; in capture or kill, ghost specifically calls on him to take down the aq snipers
and demolitions is math with a hit of chemistry; knowing what mixes with what, knowing how much to use, recognising environmental factors and adjusting accordingly. it's not just about the boom; so much work goes into contained/ planned explosions. especially when having enough power for a breacher charge and not bringing down the whole building is the difference between mission success and failure
the chemical bombs he makes in alone can't just be any old cleaners, they have to have the correct reaction to each other; he just knew off the top of his head what would mix with what to create what reaction. he would also potentially have to recognise them by sight/smell bc they wouldâve been written in spanish
soap would also have to know architecture; recognising structural integrity and weak points so he knows exactly where to plant a charge to bring it down and how it'll come down
he has an incredible soldier's mind people just forget that bc he's sociable which itself is a skill
we know he tends to buck against orders he doesn't agree with like when he pushes back against ghost in capture or kill and shepherd when he tells them to release hassan
he gets closer to people and sees if he can trust them and that's when he follows them without question. really think about how he talks to alejandro and rudy; he asks about their home and alejandro's family and rudy's relationship with him. those aren't questions you ask a stranger after a few hours of knowing them. that's not even touching on his relationship with ghost
he also deliberately brings people of higher ranks down to his level; talking informally with ghost and giving him a shoulder punch, addressing alejandro (a colonel!!) by his first name and rudy by his nickname despite literally just meeting them. he personalises all of them and itâs in direct opposition to the reason most characters do that; itâs not due to insubordination or lack of respect, the more he respects and trusts someone, the more casual he is with them
he digs into people; he wants to know what makes them tick and that determines if he can one, trust them and two, follow their orders. once he decides that, he's the ultimate soldier; he bleeds loyalty which makes him vicious when that loyalty is taken for granted
he isn't naive or bubbly or insecure; he's an incredibly smart and aware soldier. he's aggressive and bloodthirsty and loyal and intuitive and i love him so much
#i cant believe i never posted the soap meta that got me twitter famousâ˘ď¸đ
#as with damn near every piece of characterisation in this franchise soaps is only apparent in subtext and connecting tiny little dots#it is very easy to just pick up his surface personality and think thats all he is#but soaps not a sunshine character#hes not super friendly or bright#hes just willing to talk to people and hes paired up with ghost who never wants to start a conversation#every time i see soap presented as this bubbly airhead thats super sweet and just blows stuff up i lose a year off my life#and i dont blame people for getting this vibe from him but im begging you to look a lil deeper#this isnt getting into his anger or the fact that he is a soldier which automatically makes him a wee bit fucked up#like he is hyperviolent and takes joy in it#we all know ghosts snuff film joke but soaps the one who responds positively to it#he returns the joke and only calls him out on it when he says he wont watch it more than once and even then its teasing not grossed out#and if we take the âhe tried to join the military at 16â factoid from 09 as current canon then he very easily could have a rough home life#no one tries to repeatedly join the military early without having some kind of problems#soap knows his worth and his abilities you dont get to be as good and specialised as he is without being completely sure of yourself#we know ghost has an ego but soap constantly butts up against it with his own affirmations#âyou wanna be better than me johnnyâ âmaybe i already am/i will beâ âa little helps not so bad eh ltâ#being a sniper makes me hate the âcant sit stillâ hc hes literally an sas sniper he wouldnt be complaining after a few hours of overwatch#i like the adhd hc and maybe he fidgets in his day to day life but the second hes at work hes At Work#tldr soap could be just as complex a character as ghost if cod would stop treating their campaigns as an afterthought and actually commit#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#weâre a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#john soap mactavish#soap cod#cod mw2#soapghost#save post#call of duty modern warfare#cod meta
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okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#not art#fhjy spoilers#its!!! gods I will Be My Ass in the tags rn. but thats so like. deliciously setting typical#like porter's desire is to transcend and his contempt for the world he's in feels. idk Real#like he plays the game bc he wants to win and be done with it. how do I word this#yknow. being a god would like. be his win state. when he gets that happening thats it his story is done he checks out#meanwhile the bad kids do actually just like playing the game lmao. like they love adventuring!#theyre so solidly Of This World. they carry the values that can only be born of it and they like having mastery over it#its a meta angle that I think is very fun specifically for d20 being in such a unique position in the zeitgeist when it first started#the rat grinders are from DnD Writ Large. porter wants to escape. but this is the bad kids' home its Their Actual Play Show#which makes it so fucking excellent to me that porter's question is somewhat of merit! its their show and it tries very hard to punish them#and they just straight up dont listen to him here lmao bc they hate him but! since the moment the academic track ended its been clear#that they save the world bc they Like Playing. With Each Others#thats what riz thinks the core of adventuring is! thats why fig stayed! and I also think thats why this hovers over elmville now and#a dead god is coming back in the school gym. porter is a shit evangelist but even if hes a good one I dont think it wouldve worked like he#wants it to. the only way he couldve escaped is if he'd not involved elmville at all. thats where the bad kids met dude#its a shitty place that fucks with them but they all come back here bc they wanna play with each others#and in that regard I think thats what the stress tokens ultimately means. Is This Game Still Fun To Play. ITS A RAGEQUIT LIMIT#Im literally running from one end to another of this conspiracy board Ive pulled out of nowhere#Ill draw after this I just wanna get this out. gods this episode has done nothing but furthering my delusion of grandeur actually#Im the hottest smartest manthing on earth Im king fucking midas over here. anyways uh! great ep!
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As gently and politely as I can put this: that post I made about outliving him is meant to be an anti-suicide affirmation. It is not meant to be a blinders-on assessment of reality, of the future boiling down to whether one man lives or dies. It is meant to reassure myself and everyone else that the horrors come, and the horrors go, that nothing is permanent, that hope persists with split knuckles and blood on its teeth. Things are rough. Things will likely get rougher. My eyes are open to that, but in the end, the first thing they want from us is to roll over, surrender, die. And I will not be granting that wish. I deserve to be here. You deserve to be here. We deserve to see the sun rise. And it will. I promise.
#âthis isnât a fantasy novelâ yes thank you if it were Iâd have a cool sword at the very least#but what I have instead is a dozen tiny reasons to keep going#my wife. my pets. my stories. to see how my favorite tv show turns out.#to watch my nephew grow. to laugh with my siblings. to cry with my parents.#to see the movies Iâve missed and read books that havenât yet been written#and above all else: to prove that I can. that I can stay. that I can see just one more sunset. one more snowfall. one more pride parade#one more. one more. one more.#itâs one day at a time. it always has been.#it will be bad. I am not disputing that. I came into this year terrified that it would be my last one on earth#but so long as I have a say: I say no. I say I belong here. i say fuck you.#it will be bad. of course it will. it will be terrifying.#and I will be here because the simple fact of my queer ass continuing to draw breath#can help ruin the day of the worst people alive
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If I think about the double standard and the disparity with which the media handled Daniel in comparison to everyone else I may lose my mind.
#i genuinely feel like im in bizarro world. karun chandok the fucking donkey being like:#âyou have to feel for checo . he was doing so well in sq1 :( â#in comparison to the way they viciously circled around daniel for medicore performances let alone bad ones#similar with Naomi just now. i cant believe im gonna defend Perez in the same breath but for her to say;#âLawson has done everything to deserve checos seat. he has ticked all the boxesâ ????? bitch what boxea are you talking about?#she literally said the only thing he needs to work on is his âtemperamentâ would love to know what shes on lol#DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON LAZENBY HES SUCH A DUMB FUCKING RATTTTTTT#the way hes like âwhy is Lawson getting so much heat for complaining about sergio? Yuki has been doing it for years!â#well yuki has been in the 'Junior team' for 4 years now#what the everloving fuck is going on in the sport#obviously we all know how the media shapes the narrative but its genuinely still so jarring to see the standard they held daniel to#and the callousness with which they treated him
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also please stop with the max of it all, he has 3 wdcâs, he welcomes retirement openly at this point
daniel has made it clear for the last two years that he doesnât want that he isnât ready to give it all up, thatâs why this hurts so fucking much because he has so much more to give and wants to do it
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#f1#formula 1#max verstappen#I get that itâs a coping thing but you gotta understand how theyâre completely different situations#if I had even one wdc Iâd be like yeah retirement wouldnât be so bad#daniel has been fighting tooth and nail for fucking years to just be in a car they are not the same#sorry the anger is winning out rn#joey rambles
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the thing about labru vs kabumisu is that both of them have the same core appeal to me, specifically from kabru's side of things: kabru being someone who is constantly agonizing about social rules and putting on the right mask, and meeting this Weird Fucking Guy who does not (cannot) care about all those things, and so kabru slowly allows himself to be more genuine. they're both such good relationships (whether you view them romantically or platonically), why must there be so much hostility between enjoyers of these ships?
#they are ALSO both ''just when you think you've hit rock bottom you want to fuck a blonde guy''#(yes ik mithrun's hair is technically silver but it's blonde enough)#eliot posts#dunme#ships#dungeon meshi#dm spoilers#dungeon meshi spoilers#labru#kabumisu#i love both so i feel like i'm winning either way. multi track drifting!#i think i like kabumisu slightly more bc i am an acts of service enjoyer at heart#but both are good#the only ship that i'm that gung ho about is farcllle (but also i'd never get into a shipping war over it bc im not fucking 12 years old)#why is there so much shipping war in this fandom??? it's so fucking bonkers. is it fucking 2014???#what makes it more annoying is that this series is so light on romance and focuses on platonic relationships#how did this series attract so many rabid shippers???#this post has been up for 2 hours and someone was already posting bad take reductive ship hate in the replies#get blocked <3 you are a deeply obnoxious human being god bless your heart
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