#this woman's old enough to be my mother
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ok it's not that I'm saying Raoul Silva wasn't gay, he clearly was insanely bisexual but that's besides the point.
You can't say he's the gayest bond Villian only based on the fact Alec brings up having threesomes with James at least twice in the movie.
Alec and James have literally fucked yall
#i die on my hill#alec trevelyan#james bond#goldeneye#Alec's type was whatever james touched last even if thats himself#Raoul's type was james and any woman old enough to be his mother#raoul silva
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I wonder how my great great great grandma who was born in 1907 and died before even my mom was born would feel to know that in 2024 there's a cat named after her. Like to know that her own great granddaughter who she only ever known as a little girl, would as a 65 year old woman, adopt a cat and think like...'she reminds me of my great grandmother who's been gone longer now than I ever knew her.'
#the way one generation turns into another always makes me think#it's less about the cat and more so that someone would remember you in such a way several decades after youre gone#my grandma talks about stories of her great grandmother#or her big maw as she calls her#and it's always from the perspective of a little girl looking up to a maternal figure#and it always jars me bcus that's how ive always looked at my grandma#the relationship i have with my grandmother she also once had with her grandmother and so on and so on#and then it makes me think even more to hear these stories about the grandmother my grandmother loved dearly#and I've never met her#to feel connected to a woman through your mother through her mother through her mother through hers and it's this line of mother to daughte#but you've never met her yourself#but someone you love once loved her#lover her enough to even as an old lady see a cat and be immediately reminded of how she was a lifetime ago#are we all just a string of short lived experiences and memories carried along down the passage of time
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finding out that gillian anderson likes women has been the best part of my week.
#‘i could be with a woman next year’#‘their gender is irrelevant’#these are quotes from her 😭#gillian anderson#my mother is 5 months older than her#so technically she’s NOT old enough to be my mother#the x files#x files#txf#msr#dana scully#david duchovny#fox mulder#sex education#sex ed netflix#starlightseraph’s brainrot
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on one hand I totally understand tropes are popular but on the other hand I think Amos is a lot more compelling as a middle aged woman trying to figure out her life after a loveless relationship than a mother figure ya know
#it's like. oh has anyone read price of salt? It's like carol. she's in a mess trying to figure things out#and dragging anyone close to her into that mess#bc she spent so long in an environment where she is both not getting enough attention from one who she wants#and getting attention from others who are 'below' her. not that she conciously sees people as below her but i think society#would tell Amos that she has a higher role on the hierarchy as Deca's lover than anyone else in mondstadt#...now i'm imagining an old mond rebellion where the original goal was something like 'tear down the walls reform deca' and then Amos joine#went 'no I'm gonna kill him' and the rebellion went '....okay that doesn't sound like a terrible idea he IS the one keeping the walls up'#nb's goal after all was to break down the walls and see the sky right not explicitly to kill a god#.......puts this idea in my pocket to maybe play with#saying that my initial idea of her was also viss er one / eva anim orphs based but sim idea. middle aged woman#upper class middle aged divorced woman amos who has her hands full dealing with the fallout of her own life and making it everyone's proble#i just really like Problematic Woman#saying that carol did kinda really mother therese but also their relationship was uhhhh unequal. Just a Bit#also viss e r one and eva are also both defined by motherhood in a way#except eva is 'long left the role behind bc the world thinks she's dead and her body isn't even hers anymore'#and vis ser one is 'she should NOT be a mother she is a whole empire's tactician for a reason'#anyway don't mind me waking up and starts rambling about Opinions bc my dream supplied me Stress of Snakes#<- thinks snakes are cool but has a healthy respect of them irl idk Where that dream came from#genshin talk
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Man how cool would it be if there was a Zelda game where the plot was Zelda being raised thinking she was the hero for that time only to find out she wasn't and it was her friend who knew all along
#oh so now the wind waker fan is talking#yES there is an element of wind waker to this#basically#zelda's mother kinda drops her daughter at some rural village to live away from ganondorf#ganondorf is somewhat satisfied enough to not chase baby zelda cause her mom also has powers so he's like well if i keep this woman in chec#i'm good#anyways baby zelda grows up with sURPRISE its link#both go under different names (zelda doesn't ever get called zelda#but link knows his name is link#but changes it#and when theyre old enough zelda is like hey i'm going to an adventure to get the master sword#and save my mom who is princess zelda#link: oh. uh. sure i'll tag along...for.#reasons#companion link!#i'm rambling lMAO
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ppl talk about traumatizing it was to go from gifted child to subpar adult. where are the people who went from super tall child to short adult because they stopped growing at 12 years old? we are the ones who have truly suffered
#wistfully thinking about being 10 yrs old and my doctor saying i was gonna be 5’10’’#it especially makes me angry bc my two half sisters on my dad’s side ARE 5’10!!!!!#i HAVE the tall genes my stupid mother’s stupid short genes just overpowered them 😭#i’m the TALLEST woman on my mom’s side of the family btw. at 5’3!!!#we are all dutch arent dutch people supposed to be tall!!!!! (i'm 1/4 dutch my mom & her siblings are 1/2 dutch)#(my grandmother is 0% dutch so she gets a pass on being literally 4'9)#anyway i don’t really wanna be 5’10 that sounds like a hassle. i just wanna be tall enough for pants to be the right length on me#in my dream life i'm like 5'6. that's the ideal height to me#m.txt
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#i do love it here#i do! truly! it's the greatest city in the world!#but i am so tired of rolling with disadvantage with every social interaction#i'm tired of looking like an asshole all the time#(not that i don't already in the usual course of events i suppose)#i've just leaned *hard* into the 'dumb american'#and y'all i am laying on the southern accent REAL thick#tbh? it does wonders.#part of that is that 'yessir' and 'no ma'am' are very firmly baked in#and i guess that these folks don't have enough of an ear for it to differentiate 'genteel deep southerner' from 'scruffy white trash'#but for the most part it's worked out to my advantage#this is a fuckin absurd place tho. 'squirty cream.' y'all are not a serious country.#i miss my cat. i'm tired of their accents. i'm tired of their fuckin attitude fr tbh.#but then i'll turn a corner and smell some kind of street food#or watch a whole bus full of people offer their seat to an achingly new mother#or everyone on a sidewalk go to catch an old woman when she stumbles#or see some toddlers playing on a 15th century grave#or i'll be out walking at night and a fox will stop while it's crossing the street to look at me with wariness but no fear as if to say#'i see you. i see you very well.'#or. or-- and this is the big one#the weird high wailing and deep rumbling of the victoria line which is something i can't describe; i don't have the art#but it's like they actually unearthed what this city has sounded like for thousands of years#joyous and fierce and pitiless#and like. where the fuck else would i ever possibly want to live? if i want to live at all i want to live here.#like the man said: '...then you're tired of life.'#domine dirige nos#about.
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when people ask me why I don't want to get married or have children sometimes I wish I could just replay like.... one phone call between my mother and I and then ask them, "would you wanna add more people asking you for shit and relying on you if this was your mom?"
#she is the equivalent of having like 2 middle school aged children#I do not want anyone else asking me for shit ever#I want peace. and quiet. little kitties to curl up and sleep with. tea in the afternoon if I want. crossword puzzles at night.#I want my time to be *mine*. being her caretaker is unending work. UNENDING.#and I don't mean that in like oh I resent her for being disabled. I mean she is a 60+ year old woman who REFUSES to do things for herself#cause she knows if she just.... doesn't do something long enough someone else will do it for her.#she did this with her mother until she DIED. I am refusing to let her do it to me#and it's still frustrating to all get out.#I have to repeatedly tell her 'I'm not handling that for you tho. ur an adult I know you can handle this' and she's like#I KNOW I AM OK I KNOW!#and then she proceeds NOT to do the very simple easy thing she's needed to do for like 6 fucking months now#really important stuff of course I would just step in and handle which sucks cause it re-enforces her behavior#but she will literally refuse to do like... important paperwork to keep medical benefits#until last minute and I have to end up doing it and overnighting them to the proper places#like I'm TIRED ok. I've been doing this since I was 13. THIRTEEN. I'm fckn EXHAUSTED.#i'm so tired just let me do crosswords and write fic and pet a kitty in my spare time pls#erin explains it all
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As a child i also like refused to watch the og teen titans because it was too edgy to me (i think it was the artstyle?) but, surprisingly enough, watched garrone's tale of tales without blinking,
#i have watched it once and never again bcs#my mother thought it was kid-appropriate and it wasnt (hello rape scene on screen and old woman flaying herself!)#and got extremely scandalized at it that she still hates it to this day lol#little did she know it rearranged my brain's chemistry#anywaysss i need to find it again! i want to rewatch it i cannot recomend that movie enough
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If I were married to Skyler White, I'd simply treat her like the goddess she is. RIP to Walter White but I'm different.
#skyler divorce walt and marry me instead challenge#i say about a woman old enough to be my mother#skyler white#breaking bad#she is my wife and kim is my daughter#i will be the caring spouse and mother they deserved but didn't get
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@katkastrofa: *writes a single throwaway line in one chapter of Lost and Found that is never referenced again*
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1d296459a416474a4af3149e93b80019/43ee05579be6fbf3-80/s540x810/6bff3f94d2fd8ed5f720f97373a838d1bfa941ec.jpg)
Me, completely randomly and with no prompting: Alright, bet–
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original characters#as if I don’t have enough of those already#I really don’t know what possessed me here. I mean. sometimes my mind did drift to this mention of Zaheer’s sisters#because broken bonds is my absolute favourite LaF chapter. but I ever really thought of them that much since Kat never brought them up agai#and then about 24h ago I randomly remembered them again and was like. hey. p’li and ghazan’s sisters play a huge role in our stories#and ming-hua is an only child. so what of zaheer’s sisters? what are they like? do they ever cross his mind? are they aware of his crimes?#and in the afternoon I went digging through my art supplies bc I felt like painting and found my old 2020-2022 sketchbook with 2 empty page#so I thought. why not. it’s been a while since I’ve done traditional art. so I pulled up a reference of rich EK outfits from the artbooks#and got to work. drew this up in about half an hour? traditional sketching is a lot faster than digital for some reason#then took a picture and cleaned up and coloured in procreate. and I’m really happy with the end result#this was hella fun to do as well so.. win-win?#alright enough backstory rambling. on to the characters themselves#I looked up Zaheer’s name and apparently that particular spelling is urdu in origin. so I went off that#the article I found was written edited and fact checked by three pakistani women so I think it’s about as trustworthy as these things go#summiya means ‘a woman of proper name’ and aiza means ‘respected high place in society’. which I thought were fitting for noble girls#for outfits and hairstyles. like I said. I turned to the avatar artbooks. those things are life savers. I just played around with colours#looks wise I colour picked from zaheer and then shifted around a little so they look similar enough yet not like clones of each other#but they’re also teenagers here so they wouldn’t resemble book 3 Zaheer much anyway#kat never mentioned ages but since their mother was looking for matches I assumed they were older than zaheer#he ran off at 11 or 12 iirc. so I decided they would have been 16 and 14 respectively#though in their community matches are probably made much earlier than actual marrying age. still.#if it was such a pressing matter that their mother was ‘preoccupied’ with it. then they were probably teenagers right#that’s what I’m gonna go for anyway since currently I have no information to disprove any of this#oh yeah Kat btw if you did have images of Zaheer’s sisters in mind before this then you don’t have to replace them. I just filled a blank#we’ve never talked about them so I assume there’s nothing. feel free to correct me. maybe someday we’ll discuss their personalities/lives#all I have is that they probably weren’t too close with zaheer. and their lives now are all about husbands kids and status. but we’ll see#hope you like them anyways <3
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had a conversation about gym class with my friend who I went to school with today - it was depressing but also nice to hear that her experience with it (at that particular school) was just as bad as mine.
I don't think the way my school treated gym class was entirely normal tbh. it was completely different to the school I went to after, anyway. and everyone I talked to there only knew gym class to be a pretty fun, lighthearted thing. at my old school it was only about achievement, you had to be perfect, if not you were usually yelled at. and if you couldn't participate because you were feeling a bit ill (but not enough to stay home from school) you were ridiculed and/or insulted in front of the whole class. this happened with every gym teacher we had over the whole 9 years there.
it felt like two hours of punishment, there was nothing good about it. and it made at least the both of us feel like any kind of exercise/sport, especially in a group setting, was terrifying - for years after. even my much more positive experience at the other school I went to didn't make that go away.
#maybe my school really just sucked#I mean I already know it did. but maybe it did in even more ways than I thought#maybe it's a Gymnasium thing. idk. any Germans please feel free to comment if gym class at your school was like this#and it wasn't just because we were bad at sports or anything. I got very good grades in gym class at the other school. and my friend does a#ton of different sports now and everything#I remember there was a girl in my class who got a 1 (the best grade) in every other class and a 4 (out of 6) in gym class. and the teacher#was so fucking awful and gleeful about it. he made fun of her so much.#I'm pretty sure I was about to get a 6 in gym class right before I dropped out - and that definitely played a part tbh. I just couldn't#spend one more second with that gym teacher. he was horrible and gross and mean (and sexually harassed girls at another school! but of#course he was still allowed to teach at our school!! ľ#anyway. gym class was the worst part of my (already not great) life from 11 to 19 so I hope all my old gym teachers break both their legs :)#except one. he was really nice to us and didn't do any of the stuff the others did. but we only had him for a year in between all the other#ones so it wasn't enough :(#like one of our (female!!) teachers would loudly make fun of girls who said they couldn't participate because they were on their period and#in too much pain.#in front of everyone. when we were like 13.#I hate that woman more than any of the others.#lol it's funny how like half of my issues are because of my parents and the other half is because of that fucking school#I will never forgive my mother for forcing me to go there and never letting me change schools even though I asked to for 8 fucking years#personal
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Back when I was teaching Japanese college students, I remember escorting some of my students back to their dorms from a burger place one of the other mentors invited them to late at night (he ditched them there and I was mad about it because they didn't know the area well).
While we were walking back, I was expressing my disappointment and saying it was inappropriate for that mentor to invite them out without walking them back since it was late at night and it wasn't a great part of the city, but after a few minutes I apologized to them saying something like "I know most of you are grown adults and I don't want you to think I see you as helpless children, but I do want to make sure you get home safely," and one of them said in the kindest most sincere voice, "We know. You are like a Japanese mother."
And I was just like *voice cracking* "Cool" and walked them the rest of the way back to their dorms, then walked to the bus with my face buried in my hands.
#i talk#My favorite student also said I reminded him of his mother (who he'd spoken of very highly the entire trip) and I was like#*VOICE CRACKING* ''OH. THANK YOU.''#Man I love all those students so much#That was right before one of the worst periods of my life#but I remember the time I spent with them so fondly#One of them was a 40 year old woman who was so surprised I knew who Kaito was when I saw him on the background of her computer#and she was like ''That is Miku's boyfriend'' and I was trying my best not to burst into giggles because she said it so seriously#My favorite student was an absolute sweetheart. When I said goodbye to him and the rest of my students I burst into tears while going home#All of the Pokemon nerds and I played Pokemon Go together and it was so fun#I mostly spoke English with them because I wanted to make sure they were getting enough practice#but I did speak Japanese with them for funzies sometimes (esp. if they were having trouble understanding something)#but I have a tendency to use casual speech and when I found out one of my students was older than me#(one who I always used casual speech with)#I was like WHOOPS. Well. Oh well#he thought it was funny but I guess technically it was fine since I was his mentor / teacher#He was a very serious guy but he was always very nice#Though the one day I wasn't there he got into a fight with another student because they were rude to him#but you know. it happens#anyways. All of them were so sweet#I almost cried saying goodbye to my elementary school students too when I finally decided to swap jobs#The little Mexican boy and girl I taught came up to me and silently hugged me so tightly and cried and cried and cried#and I almost started crying too#agh#I love kids I love college students#aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. education is such a tough field to work in and the pay sucks and you're constantly overworked#but I loved my students so much. I still love them. I hope they're all doing ok#I remember when the Orange Idiot got elected one of the students who was planning to study abroad here messaged me#and I asked him if he still planned to come study here and he said yes because ''I believe the good people outnumber the bad''#I think about that all the time
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i actually have really fond memories of primeval bc it was one of the first things i wrote fanfic of as a like. 10yo kid LOL and i remember very vividly posting it on fanfic dot net (what a throwback) n getting comments on it n being like wrow…. this is so nice :’-)
#x#ALSO shoutout to. god i don’t even remember her name anymore but a like. i guess in modern terms fandom adult lady who#regularly commented on my fic back then to be like ‘u write very well! i’m excited to see where this goes :-)’#n then at some point bc i was a dumb kid i think i let it slip that i was only like. 10. lol. n she got all concerned abt me being on the#site (fair. i was very much not supposed to have an account on there) n i tried pulling a ‘no no u see im Mature for my age’#n like. i remember the words so clearly she said ‘i’m old enough to be your mother i just want to make sure you’re staying safe on here’#😭😭😭😭 IT WAS SOOOOOO SWEET she was so nice n definitely dialed back on the interaction after that but it’s okay i understand now i love u.#random anonymous woman on the internet who was just showing concern abt a random kid who liked the same dumb dinosaur as u. I LOVE YOUUUUUU#same dumb dinosaur show* as u. that’s what i meant#ANYWAYS. will never forget… treasuring ur care forever….
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not to bnha on main but I'm thinking about fuyumi
#i havent seen all of s..6? we're on s6 right? whatever#nor have i read the manga#but i know enough spoilers to be in LOVE with my girl#and i have a fic rattling around in my brain that i dont have enough context for#so spoilers bnha manga if u care abt that#but learning that fuyumi and touya are twins Changed Me because its about the FUCKING SIBLING TRAUMA (2.0)#its about twin's quirks being switched in the womb its about being born next to your best friend and your worst enemy#its about fuyumi wanting her family to be functional instead of the fucking dumpster fire it is#because she already lost touya she cant lose natsuo and shouto too#endeavors like 'trying his best' or whatever but i dont think she.. cares all that much about him.#her being cordial is like glacial politeness. the casual wielding of words.#plus she has such an interesting character set up???#her twin brother is being brutally trained and shes a child and cannot do anything about it#her mother takes her under her wing and tries to teach her the unspoken rules of women in this household#fuyumi hears her twin soul scream bloody murder and cannot lift a finger. she must learn how to sew#then her next brother is born and she thinks of all the ways she cant protect him. but his quirk appears.. similar to hers#shes so desperately relieved. her twin receives new scars every day.#shouto is born. her and her mother stare at each other silently in the home because they know what this will mean.#fuyumi is 12 years old when her mother is sent away. her baby brother throws up because of her father pushing him too hard#fuyumi is now the woman of the house. she is 12. she is a child#touya is gone. hes dead. her twin brother died (because of her father. they all knew touyas weakness)#fuyumi is the eldest. she has to be the glue sticking them together. she makes meals for her scarred brothers.#she is silent. she is scorned for her lack of anger.#who has space for anger when you must become a mother at 12?#fuyumi is an incredible character and if the writer (horikoshi?) wasnt so SHIT at writng female character arcs maybe he would have realized#😭😭😭#ollie rambles#me being true to my tag#FUCK i love fuyumi#sibling relationships always take me tf out but these tragic ones are perfect
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“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.
You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?
You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.
You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.
You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.
You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.
You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.
You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.
You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!
You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!
You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.
I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.
And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie
this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.
#barbie#barbie movie#feminism#this is modern feminism talking#it’s so messed up#the patriarchy#male gaze
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