#I want my time to be *mine*. being her caretaker is unending work. UNENDING. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

imwritesometimes · 8 days ago

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when people ask me why I don't want to get married or have children sometimes I wish I could just replay like.... one phone call between my mother and I and then ask them, "would you wanna add more people asking you for shit and relying on you if this was your mom?"

#she is the equivalent of having like 2 middle school aged children #I do not want anyone else asking me for shit ever #I want peace. and quiet. little kitties to curl up and sleep with. tea in the afternoon if I want. crossword puzzles at night.#I want my time to be *mine*. being her caretaker is unending work. UNENDING.#and I don't mean that in like oh I resent her for being disabled. I mean she is a 60+ year old woman who REFUSES to do things for herself #cause she knows if she just.... doesn't do something long enough someone else will do it for her.#she did this with her mother until she DIED. I am refusing to let her do it to me #and it's still frustrating to all get out.#I have to repeatedly tell her 'I'm not handling that for you tho. ur an adult I know you can handle this' and she's like #I KNOW I AM OK I KNOW!#and then she proceeds NOT to do the very simple easy thing she's needed to do for like 6 fucking months now #really important stuff of course I would just step in and handle which sucks cause it re-enforces her behavior #but she will literally refuse to do like... important paperwork to keep medical benefits #until last minute and I have to end up doing it and overnighting them to the proper places #like I'm TIRED ok. I've been doing this since I was 13. THIRTEEN. I'm fckn EXHAUSTED.#i'm so tired just let me do crosswords and write fic and pet a kitty in my spare time pls #erin explains it all

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