#this will never get old for me
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How do I look away now that I have seen you? - Rachel Mennies
#started from the bottom now we're here#and having a fucking fantastic time#this will never get old for me#like at all#i have never thrived like this before#911#911 on fox#911 fox#911 abc#911 on abc#911 spoilers#911 7x04#911 s7#911 season 7#season 7#s7#evan buckley#evan buck buckley#tommy kinard#bucktommy#tuck#bisexual evan buckley#911gifset#911edit
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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept#neil gaiman#adjacent
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atla au but nothing changes except sokka is taller and zuko is shorter
#just wanted an excuse to draw zuko getting picked up#but also#the interactions. theyd be so funny#“why is a 12 year old chasing us”#“IM 16”#“YOURE OLDER THAN ME??????”#au where zuko peaks at 13 then never grows#he wears platformers probably#sokka: me and the oomfieee :33#zuko: WHAT THJE FUCK IS AN OOMFIE#atla#avatar#avatar the last airbender#avatar fanart#atla fanart#atla zuko#atla sokka#atla zukka#zukka#(not drawn to be but ig u can interpret it as zukka)
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not that we didn't already Know belos was full of shit, but it's even funnier knowing the titan was still alive the whole time and probably judging him
#toh#the owl house#emperor belos#papa titan#the titan#art#doodles#comic#fanart#watching and dreaming#captioned#brief visit to ye olde days of memeing on belos... those still get spread around#i hope the titan saw him get his shit stomped in before they passed on#like yes luz was right there but did the titan actually get to see it. i hope so#shoulda been broadcast on penstagram too#there's a piece of fanart i wanted to draw after. i think o titan where art thou. but i never got around to it#because it had animation in it. and im regretting it now#maybe i will finally do it. and something else too#the whole titan reveal brings with it a lot of tropes and ideas that absolutely destroy me personally#and i need to Draw about it#edit - thank you anistarrose for the caption!#''he wasn't Really alive'' you're right they were a secret third thing. the heart still beats. they were still Somewhere#but it's easier to just say Alive. it's not Technically wrong#i try to keep my captions short ok
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crisis of disbelief
#one piece#trafalgar law#zoro#luffy#‘what ship is this’ sure#lulaw? luzo? law…zo? or is it zolaw. none of these sound like words anymore#well i guess bc they aren’t. they aren’t real words#‘law and zoro never really saw gear 5’ yeah. law saw his giant head in the roof and zoro was basically dead#they felt That tho#and finally#‘i thought you were taking a much needed rest break after weekly comics’#yeah well. i need a new brush bc my old one kills my wrist and there is a STEEP learning curve for me ://#it’ll get easier right. it’ll look better right. RIGHT?!
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Good lord this tomb is full of shitposts 😳😳 pt 1/pt 2
#sorry for the mercy/augustine sex jumpscare but i rly do think they have terrible sex every like. 200 years#they're like “Oh this Sucks I'm never doing this Again” and then hundreds of years pass and they get bored and they're like hmmm#maybe. it wasn't THAT bad.#the idea of bitching and complaining during sex is too funny to me#also my magnus design is pure indulgence#i just wanted to sexualise that old man. and he ended up looking like varric dragon age 😭😭#also also i gave Pal the fancy swoopy glasses that elphaba wears in the wicked trailer cos i think they're cool#okay now i gotta do some actual tagging#the locked tomb#tlt#gideon the ninth#gtn#harrow the ninth#htn#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow nonagesimus#griddlehark#ianthe tridentarius#ianthe the third#mercymorn the first#augustine the first#palamedes sextus#palamedes the sixth#abigail pent#magnus quinn#john gaius#tlt shitposting#oh and i haven't finished Nona. i paused my reading because i found out there isn't a release date for the next book so I'm like#i need to make this last. i gotta ration this book out (<-stupid)
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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]
Hitting a lil' too close to home?
#junie art post#ink sans#error sans#utmv#errorink#implied. but yea not the focus#this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word#we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more#isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad#and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out#we put it away. abandon and leave it behind#what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating#yea that never left me#and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH#imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse#mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life#but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant#but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao#ahhh my favorite idiots. never change#mmmmm#deltarune
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if you’re young and transmasc and the people in your life haven’t been great about the whole thing and you’re starting to feel like it might be easier to just give up and pretend to be the person they want you to be, i need you to hold on. because the thing is, one second you’re 16 and a future where you get to make decisions about your own body and life feels so impossibly far away and you can’t imagine living like this for that long, but then you blink and it’s been six years and you’re in your car with the music blasting and your voice is lower than the guy in the song’s and your hair is long for the first time in a decade because you’re finally confident enough to grow it out again on your own terms and your chest hasn’t been weighed down in months and it’s the freest you’ve ever felt in your life and i promise it will be worth the wait. don’t give up on yourself.
#was literally just driving home from the store and it was such a euphoric experience i had to make a post#16 year old me never could’ve imagined being where i am right now#he certainly wouldn’t have believed i would be able to get to this point while still living in my parents’ house#positivity#transmasc positivity#trans man positivity#trans men#transmascs
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yeah
#i cant control who i am i am a complex individual who just really likes antagonists (?) in suits#grimmsley isnt really an antagonist but hes getting lumped in#TO BE FAIR ionly started using tumblr in 2018#i was never on here during the hayday of sexymen#i WAS on deviantart though and Man i wanted to be able to draw like the people who made sexymen#12 old me had ambitions
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LINKIN PARK: Numb Live in Texas (2003)
#linkin park#chester bennington#mike shinoda#numb#linkin park numb#live in texas#linkin park edit#meteora#2000s#2000s metal#2000s bands#my gifs#yes giffing chester is my new obsession ok#linkin park and chester brainrots are back after years and i'm here for it#live in texas is THE BEST live performance EVER and whoever says otherwise is just lying#me and my siblings used to watch it NONSTOP 😭#i watched it the other day after years and i was so surprised!#IT NEVER GETS OLD#just sheer raw energy#one good song after the other#chester's vocals at their best#I LOVE THEM SO MUCH#and i miss the 2000's#good times
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OK correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the main 'yin/yang' parallel with Atsushi and Akutagawa is not something like 'this one is bad but secretly has a good side and this one is good but secretly has a bad side'.
I feel like it's more about 'who they are at their core vs who they choose to be'.
At his core Akutagawa is kind and at his core Atsushi is not. But despite this Atsushi tries every day to make the kinder choices and I love him so much for it. He has to work so hard to be good.
He wants to be a bitch SO bad I know he does but he tries his best to help people and be nice (sometimes he fails but that's OK <3)
Atsushi doesn't always WANT to help people, a lot of the time he's selfish and scared, but he does help people anyway. He keeps helping people over and over again. There's still some selfish motivation to it, and his initial motivation for helping people was because the headmaster told him that's all he was worth, but overall he does care about the people he helps and it weighs on him if he fails to save them. And of course, as the series goes on he starts helping people more because he can rather than because he feels like he needs to.
In Akutagawa's case, he's still capable of being kind but his environment led him into being someone who chooses to hurt people. But he's always been a protector at heart. In the start he was bad compared to Atsushi because he was choosing to hurt people and keep the cycle of abuse going. Just like how Atsushi developed in why he saved people, Akutagawa starts to get redeemed when he chooses to not just act on his rage. Not only does he start to spare people, but he speaks more kindly to them (apologising to Higuchi and telling Kyouka he's proud of her). It all culminates into the moment he chooses to help Atsushi and sacrifice himself for him, going back to his core value of being a protector. Even when he's finally revived, he keeps this role in his new position as Aya's Knight.
I kind of see the streaks of white in Akutagawa and the streaks of black in Atsushi not as their 'hidden sides' but as their fundamental selfs. That's who they are at their core, and their main colours (black for Akutagawa and white for Atsushi) are how they're presented to everyone else and how they try to have people see them as.
#I'm just spitballing half of this but these are also my genuine thoughts on these two and their yin/yang parallels#I'll never get over Akutagawa being a protector at heart and getting that side of him buried with rage from growing up in the PM and-#-Dazai's old teachings#also Atsushi being selfish at his core is very important to me. He's not a typical 'kind hearted' shonen protagonist. He's kind not because#-that's how he’s always been but because that's how he chooses to be#I think that kind of character is even more admirable to me#it also fits well with Dazai being his mentor. Since Dazai also doesn't have that initial desire to save people just out of kindness.#He saves people as a promise to his dead friend that wanted him to live a good life#in fact that actually fits with Jouno too#now that I think about it quite a few bsd characters fit into that 'not kind because they were born that way but because they chose to be'-#-archetype#hell yeah. That's kinda cool I like that#bsd analysis#Akutagawa#atsushi#akutagawa ryuunosuke#atsushi nakajima#sskk#shin soukoku#<- Not a ship post but adding this tag since I consider that their duo name too#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungobble my post
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This movie was fun (TW: Loud startling sound)
Miguel your are my beloved
#across the spider verse spoilers#kinda?#my art#spider man across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#miguel o'hara#jessica drew#miles morales#gwen stacy#peter parker#Lmao I will never get over that scene with the lego peter#i have no idea what was going on with Miguel and the whole biting clip#but lmao laughing how this guy just inserted himself into a happy family AU#is it okay for me to say that the spot was kinda.......#the audio is from an old video “se enojo limon” lmao
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Prompt 112
Once again, you know who is underutilized in DCxDP crossovers? Battinson. Skrunkly shivering boi. Who we should definitely give children to care for.
Did you know that Jason canonically had a brother named Danny? Well you do now, and it should also be used more.
We all want to give Battinson a robin, so why not give him four for the price of two. He of course gets Dick from the circus- he’s never going to go into public again, this was the first time he’d gone to do something out of his comfort zone for a while and look how that turned out.
And on one of the nights that Dick has to stay home (Alfred insists he must finish his homework if he wants to go out on patrol) Bruce returns to the batmobile to find not one child, but two. Is Danny reincarnated? Just appeared one day? Who knows, but he’s here now and going to protect his little brother.
Bruce might have tears in his eyes when they both hit him in the kneecaps and bolt because even with the armor it still hurts. How he manages to grab both kids he’s not too sure, but he ends up getting them food after they put the tires back. He also doesn’t understand how he’s convinced them into the car but they’ve both conked out and maybe he’s panicking and needs Alfred-
D-Dick why is there another child here? He’s the neighbor, cool cool. W-what do you mean he’s home alone, he’s like, 4?? What do you mean he’s been alone for a week now???
…
Alfreeeeed-
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#battinson#Bruce is a skrunkly lil meow meow the kids feel bad about hitting#Danny felt bad the moment he got a taste of the dude's emotions#Selina returning to Gotham covered with cats clinging to her:#Bruce covered with several small children:#“I have a problem with strays”#Alfred is so tired#He comes back from getting groceries for dinner to three new children#all sprawled out on the couch with Dick and Bruce and a movie credits on in the background#they were watching Gray Ghost and eating shredded cheese#Dick a ten year old: Hi there tiny neighbor you are alone and that is bad so come with me please I have snacks#Tim a five year old who has never been taught stranger danger: omg sure Robin#Dick: What#Tim holding his hand: :)#Danny looking at Batman: He gonna cry :(#Jason: No he aint#Danny: You can feel the misery#Danny: It's like kicking a puppy :(#Jason: Shit u right#Both of them looking into the Batmobile now that the door is open: Why is there a box of coloring books and a kid carseat#Omg it's bat themed#There's also a blanket#Why yes it is for long patrols#Also random but I feel like Battinson would be aided by a longer cape#Let battinson become a batblob and disappear into a corner
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I make posts for hypersexual trans guys who never had a fear of sex but a fascination with it. who had their sex awakening so intensely and so early that the gender awakening had to play catch up.
who were undeniably and rabidly attracted to men but completely bugged out when men reciprocated and couldnt comprehend why. because the answer definitely wasnt lesbianism.
dudes who have such an intense dysphoria and hate themselves, but not in the way that they need to be used like a fucktoy with no worth, im the way that they want to shove their cock in something but cant. Dudes that want to be seen like a god when they fuck and agonize when they cant get that.
#proudly never been scared of sex#lesbian masterdoc had me thinking it was comphet no i needed to stick my dick in them#sighs#thinking of an old coworker i had years ago who was russian and i was like fresh 18#we even went on a semi date but after i let it get awkward#like genuinely i hated myself so much if i loved myself n my body more i wouldve swung it#boyposting#like nooo i dont wanna be a sub girl to u i want to rail you sooo bad#ftm nsft#like dudes who were into american psycho and correctly think they can top patrick bateman w their covk#and hed take it too
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Is this anything ?
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/08e03de2fd7b6dbb7df7649b114aaab3/9d9f41b8037ae3d9-fe/s540x810/ceb8583dffda7bf5b0c86654c16787fe89e41775.jpg)
#elden ring#sote#shadow of the erdtree#shadow of the erdtree spoilers#sote spoilers#moby dick#moby dick spoilers#its almost 200 years old but you never know#captain ahab#drake knight igon#shitpost#igon is a required summon for the bayle fight for me#i dont care if you're doing a challenge run or no summons or whatever#that man's performance is like 50% of the enjoyment for me#its just not the same if i dont get to hear “CURSE YOU BAAAYYYLE” as im getting pummeled against the fog door
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babysitting
#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#sp style#sp stanky#style sp#south park style#stankyle#south park#ike broflovski#stan x kyle#south park fanart#mine#a visual gag that never gets old to me is artists drawing every other character in like their own styles but still having baby ike look#just like he does in the show. it makes me lose it EVERY time. which is why i did this
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