#i hope the titan saw him get his shit stomped in before they passed on

[cozylittleartblog]

not that we didn't already Know belos was full of shit, but it's even funnier knowing the titan was still alive the whole time and probably judging him

[ciaossu-imagines]

And onto Class of the Titans! I think this is easily the worst ficlet I've ever written and I tried my best to proof it, as it was originally just a silly little bit of comfort fic I wrote for myself. Even though I'm not overly happy with it myself, I hope others will enjoy!

You groaned, trying to shift your body, squirming, and moving as much as you could. You just couldn’t seem to get comfortable, no matter what you did. Your legs curled up just the tiniest bit more, your hand rubbing small circles where it lay on your lower stomach.

Your periods were always bad, always hard to deal with, but this month seemed to be so incredibly hard. Your cramps were killer, you were headachy. You kept being so moody too and you felt horrible about it. You knew you’d been freaking out your friends, annoying them, being a complete and utter bitch to everyone. Even just yesterday, you’d ended up yelling at your boyfriend. Over absolutely nothing, over something so stupid and trivial. You’d yelled and thrown a fit and you’d told him to leave you alone, to go away and never talk to you again. You’d hated yourself the moment after you said it, though you’d stomped away. Within minutes, your mood had completely switched again, and you were sobbing as you walked home.

You hadn’t heard from him since then. There were no texts as normal; there were no calls. And because the pain was so incredibly bad today, you hadn’t gone to school either. You just couldn’t handle getting up and moving around, and you had spent the day just lying in bed, constantly checking your phone, the television turned on for noise, though you couldn’t even have said what was on. You were sore and in pain. You were hungry and had cravings up the wa-hoo. You were sad and upset and felt just like shit overall. It was just a no-good, very bad, terrible, awful couple of days.

It was while you were curled up there on your couch, hunkered under blankets, looking at your blank phone screen for what felt like the millionth time in under an hour, that the sound of your doorbell (a novelty buzzer that sounded like the Tardis landing that usually made you feel happy but only made you feel even worse now, thinking about all the nights spend with your boyfriend watching Doctor Who) made you jump a little, brought you out of your reverie. You struggled to stand up, tottering as you weebled your way towards the door.

“Coming…” you called weakly. Pulling the door open slowly, you were flabbergasted by what you saw on the other side. Your mouth dropped open, your eyes widened and you had to blink two, three times. You felt the urge to pinch your cheeks a bit, just to make sure you weren’t dreaming.

“Herry?” you asked confused, staring up at the mountain of your boyfriend, who was grinning down at you, with arms full of plastic bags that he seemed to be holding out to you proudly.

“Hey y/n! I have takeout!”

“But…” you trailed off, so confused. “But I’d said…”

Herry just stood there, looking at you, head cocked to the side in a way that always let you know that he wasn’t quite understanding, cocked in a way that always made you smile because it reminded you of a cute puppy.

“There’s moo goo gai pan from Kwan’s…your favourite,” he said in a cajoling tone, holding out one of the bags closer towards you.

“But I was told you to leave me alone,” you said, your words coming out soft and weak and you winced as your stomach both rumbled and cramped, making you draw in on yourself.

The way his face feel, his whole body just kind of slumping, made you feel horrible.

“Oh…I didn’t think you were serious about that…I thought you were just upset about something I said or did…and then you weren’t in school, so I got worried…”

You gazed at him at wonder.

“I’m sorry,” you both said at the same time. A minute passed and then you both laughed, nervous laughter but it was still nice. You both kept insisting for a couple minutes that each other could go first, could talk first before silence settled again.

“I didn’t mean it,” you said softly. “I’m really glad you’re here…I don’t get why you have so many bags, but I’m so happy to see you.”

“It’s snacks of course! I wasn’t sure what you were in the mood for, so I got all your favourites from all the take-out places we normally go to! Figured I’d cover all the bases,” Herry said, sounding really proud of himself. “Food always makes you feel happy, after all!”

You laughed. That was so like him. Stepping back, you let him into your house and in minutes, there were food packages upon food packages all over your coffee table, Doctor Who set to play the next episode on your television, and Herry had you curled up against him with your hot water bottle refilled and sitting on your stomach. God, you thought, you really did have the best boyfriend in the world and even during no-good, very bad, horrible weeks, he could make everything better.

[robinofgothamcity]

♡ prompt: "you accidentally get sent into the future and see how you both turn out.”

♡ pairing: dick grayson (anyverse / nightwing) x fem reader

♡ lyric inspiration: “I said that’s life and as funny as it may seem, some people get their kicks stomping on a dream but I don’t let it get me down cause this fine old world keeps spinning around.” 

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / again like what I said with my Jason fic, you don’t necessarily use the TITANS universe to imagine this fic. i just used this version of dick for no reason. 

“god, this is the last time I do any kind of work with ANY OF YOU!” you yelled at Dick as he bit on his inner cheek. all of you had been fighting off a bunch of crooks and at first, you thought it was okay.....that was until one of the crooks pulled out his hidden magical abilities, “at the very least, we could’ve called Klarion for help!” 

Damian gave you a look as if what you were saying was stupid, “I’M JUST SAYING! WE’RE ALL FUCKING HUMAN AND ZATANNA ISN’T EVEN IN THE COUNTRY TO HELP!” you yelled back. 

Dick was trying to remain calm as he hadn’t seen one of the criminals approaching him. he was too busy charging one that was heading towards you. you; however, had saw them out of the corner of you eye and practically sped to Dick which is what the criminal wanted. 

he wanted you and Dick out of the way in order to get Damian trapped. as you and Dick had passed each other with the notion to save each other, the crook pulled out a gadget that opened up a portal. 

“NIGHTWING!” “( YOUR HERO NAME )!” 

+

the two of you went to grab each other but it was too late. you and Dick had gotten sucked into the portal as you let out a piercing yell. Dick tried grabbing you, hoping that wherever the two of you landed, he would get the hardest impact. 

soon enough, both you and Nightwing collided with the ground. you instantly shot up, preparing to fight whoever was around. Dick had took in the surrounding and whispered that the two of you were safe. 

“where the hell are we?” you asked, trying not to panic, “we need to find another portal back. Damian is on his own!” you fidgeted with your fingers as Dick waved you off. 

“if anything, Damian might be more in his element,” he whispered, “you forget how Damian grew up. I think he’ll be fine. he probably already called Bruce or one of the boys.” you tried to figure out how the hell Dick was so calm about the situation. 

Dick took off his mask as you followed along, “I think are biggest issue might be trying to figure out what year he took us too. I can’t imagine he took us in the past so we might just be in the future,” Dick explained. 

both of you walked down the hill that you had landed on and saw you were in Bludhaven, “I think we’re in your home territory,” you murmured. Dick sighed in relief. he was more relieved that both of you landed in his hometown because had you landed in Gotham, he felt like that would’ve landed you in more trouble with the Bat, “I didn’t think Bludhaven was this ran down,” you told Dick. 

“hey!” he exclaimed, “it isn’t as bad as it looks!” you giggled trying not to catch attention from anyone. the two of you made it down the hill when the realization hit you. Bludhaven had snow falling all over the town and you nor Dick were even mildly dressed in clothes to handle the cold. 

“do you have clothes in your apartment? it’s freezing out here!” you exclaimed. Dick gave you the side eye, “I do but if we landed in the future, my future self might be there. we can run into a store and get clothes there.” 

“and do you have cash? bc if you’re carrying a debit card, that would be really weird to see a transaction from the future,” you replied. Dick took out his wallet and pulled out a crisp 100, “I stand defeated,” you murmured. Dick rolled his eyes as the two of you saw a department store at the corner of the street. 

before you could pull in, you heard someone scream you hero name, “hey! those are sick cosplays!” they said running up to you. you gave him a confused look before realizing, you had to pretend that you weren’t actually yourself, “thanks! it took a lot of work,” you tried to say. 

“I bet. it looks super realistic too! ever since she stopped fighting, it’s been super weird not seeing ( your hero name ) around.” you stood confused, wondering what he meant by that, “oh! you’re supposed to be Nightwing! that’s awesome! do you think I can get a picture!” he asked. 

you looked to Dick who just shrugged and agreed. the two of you smiled for the photo as he scanned it, “thanks! I swear, you look exactly like her too! but clearly that can’t be right since the actual ( your hero name ) is pregnant allegedly!” he said as he turned around to leave. 

“pregnant?” you yelled, holding onto Dick who was laughing hysterically, “it’s not fucking funny! I’m pregnant in whatever year this is!” you yelled. Dick could see the panic in your eyes, “he never said it was actually true. he said it was alleged that you were,” Dick tried to emphasize. 

you walked into the department store, which ended up being a Target, and ran to the women’s section, wanting to get out of your hero costume as soon as possible. once you and Dick grabbed the clothes, he quickly paid for it before the two of you darted to the bathrooms to get dressed. 

you managed to come out faster than Dick as you held onto your costume by hand. with curiosity plaguing your mind, you saw a magazine and looked at the date. 

December 22, 2024.

you sighed in relief. the two of you had only gone three years into the future which was a good thing....right?

“we’re three years into the future,” you told Dick. he nodded as you walked outside, “we can check if future you is actually home and if he’s not, you making some portal to get us back home!” you threatened. 

“at this rate, I would’ve preferred if Damian would’ve been the one to come along,” Dick retorted. you pushed him to street, making him stumble over his feet, “say some snark shit again and see where that gets you,” you told him, “plus, you think I want to get stuck in the future with you? I would have preferred Jason if we’re going to be honest. at least he would’ve been more entertaining to be around.” 

Dick remained quiet, not knowing how to respond. 

the two of you had a weird relationship with each other. at times, the two of you got along, to the point where some thought the two of you were together while other times, you practically hated his guts. no one knew why the relationship was this way but his heart felt a pang as you confessed that you would have rather been here with Jason than him. 

“way to kill a mood,” Dick said. you rolled your eyes, “you literally just said you’d rather be with Damian! don’t blame me for this shit. plus, if it wasn’t Damian, I’m sure you would wanted Starfire next,” you added on. 

Dick looked at you stunned, “what makes you say that?” he asked. you rolled your eyes, “please, it’s not hard to tell that you and Star have a thing for each other,” you said, this time more quietly than before. Dick didn’t know how to respond but quickly for him, he didn’t have to. the two of you had arrived to where lived or at least hope he still lived there. 

the house wasn’t big, not in the slightest; however, it was big enough for him on his own. the two of you looked inside of the window and saw that someone was facing their back towards it. 

“whose that?” you asked Dick. he shrugged, half of him annoyed at you and the other half not knowing who it actually was. the two of you remained looking at the person, hoping they turned around so you could get a look, “it looks like you if I’m going to be honest,” Dick replied. 

you sighed, “I don’t think it is but sure,” your statement was quickly taken back as the person finally turned around. it was in fact you...fully pregnant and opening up the window. you let out a piercing scream as Dick quickly covered your mouth, trying not to get caught. 

“can you shut the hell up?” he whisper screamed, “you’re going to get us caught!” he continued. you took his hand off your mouth, “do that shit again and you’ll be dead before you can even see your future self,” you threatened, “plus! that’s me! pregnant as fuck!” 

Dick tried not to laugh at your last statement but couldn’t, “if you’re pregnant, I wonder whose kid it is and why the hell you’re even at my place,” he wondered, “it’s probably yours,” you joked, making the both of you laugh quietly. 

you remained looking through the window, watching as you stood up and got different things from a box. you were whispered things you couldn’t exactly heart but one thing you did notice was the huge ring on your left finger. 

you whipped your head to look at Dick as his eyes widened. his future self had walked into the living room, giving you a peck on the cheek before bending down and kissing your stomach, “hey bubba! treating your creator well?” he asked. 

both you and Dick looked at each other speechless as you put two and two together. you were pregnant....with Dick’s child, “you better because your mom might kill me if you’re giving her a hard time,” he joked before placing a kiss on your lips, “we should eat before John gets hungry and your dad thinks we ditched out on the plans,” you mentioned. 

“John?” you whispered to yourself, wondering why the hell you named your future kid John, “John was my fathers name, you know, before he passed,” Dick confessed. your eyes widened, “oh, is it?” you murmured back, not knowing what to say. 

the two of you walked closer the door as you noticed your belly again. it was bigger than you realized as Dick had to help you down the stairs. you watched yourself get into Dick’s are as you were struggling to put the belt around you. eventually, Dick drove away and left the two of you alone again. 

the air was thick with silence as you had no idea what to say, “parents huh?” Dick asked with a chuckle of nervousness, “yup....and you’re the dad,” you added on. Dick nodded as you sat on the curb with your hands on your knees, “and you’re the mom,” he replied. 

you let out a laugh of disbelief as you couldn’t make up anything to say, “crazy right? I think we’re married too,” you finally looked at Dick as he stared at you, almost lovingly, “is there an issue with that?” he asked as seriously as possible. you shook your head no, “nope. just weird that we were the ones that ended up married and having kids together,” you said. 

Dick slowly grabbed your hand and held it softly. 

“I mean it could be weirder...it could have been Jason or Tim,” he said out loud. you shrugged, “I mean, that would have weird too,” you played with Dick’s fingers and bit your lip, “I guess we should try and find our way back? we wouldn’t want to change the future,” you gave Dick a hopeful look. 

he nodded as he helped you up but without hesitation, he pulled you in for a searing kiss, “I’ve been meaning to do that for a while now,” he whispered as he put his hand on your cheek and caressed it softly with his thumb. 

a few seconds later, both of you saw a portal opening with Damian screeching from the other side of it, “COME ON YOU BUNCH OF IDIOTS!” he yelled dramatically. you laughed, looking to Dick, “you heard the boy, let’s get the future started,” Dick nodded grabbing your hand and stepping into the portal. 

[hellyeahheroes]

Robin(2021) #1 Review

Opening this comic with an assessment of a character that I have no choice but to agree with is a cheap way to score points with me.

Anyways, we caught heat for being unfair to this story since it was announced because all of us wanted it to be a Cass story since forever. And it became yet another thing Damian absorbs. I mostly ignored it because I’ve always been open about my disdain for the character and his fandom for nearly a decade. I never liked Damian because put these characteristics on a non-white passing character, they’d be dead inside of year. Then again I hate almost all of Grant Morrison monstrosities.

Regardless, new story who dis is in full effect here. We open this bad boy up with Damian gone missing and the Batfamily searching for him. Nightwing tried asking Damian’s old Teen Titans team and they obviously don’t know and probably hope Damian is dead. Tim checked Arkham Ruins(???) and Damian wasn’t there. I honestly don’t think Tim was trying to find Damian. Steph and Cass checked Damian’s farm and Steph concluded Damian has been there at least because while Damian may be a little shit, he loves his dog and pet bat dragon. Barbara checked facial recognition pings and his transactions and dude is an IRS nightmare.

Damian is missing. Bruce is worried that maybe making a violent murderous preteen Robin raised in a cabal of killers to be chief murderer was a bad idea and is worried. Barbara ensures him that they will find his son and we cut to Damian fighting Snake guy in some musty ass fight put somewhere. Because of course it’s a musty ass fight pit because while the story is well drawn, it never claimed to be not cliche.

Damian hands the scrub his ass and it turns out Damian is trying to earn a marker to participate in some tournament. I liked this panel.

Not because of the artist flex of changing the art style, but it establishes Damian with a relatable hobby, reading manga. And not just a Shounen as you expect him to read but a slice of life manga which kind of puts his life in perspective. Also the lesson in the manga is reflective of what happens in the comic. Damian’s mastery is reflective of how he sees Hana. Hana decides to go beyond what her masters taught her. She decides to innovate and make her art her own. And that’s indicative of another flaw of Damian: Damian leans of the prestige of his teachers. He is the student that replicates the style 1:1. He wants to inherit Batman’s mantle, but doesn’t want to shed his teachings that he is proud of. And it comes down to this idea that Damian refuses to innovate and adapt because he is hiding behind his masters.

This panel saved the story so good job.

And after a talk with dead Alfred, it’s revealed that Damian is on this journey as a way to mirror Bruce’s journey into becoming Batman. It’s his way to iron his resolve without a catalyst to find a need to. It highlights his naïveté. He thinks that he can just simply copy the steps and get the same results.

Regardless what happens next simultaneously undermines the story or the impact of it.

Okay, when you think of Martial artists in DC, you immediately think Batman, Shiva, Deathstroke, Black Canary, Bronze Tiger, Richard Dragon, and Shiva. Why I said Shiva twice? Because Shiva is the pinnacle.

So to reveal that three premier martial artists in the universe are not only not participating but they were paid off to not participate, cheated out, or were subbed in as an entry replacement, it undermines the promotion. It’s like going to a Beyonce Concert only to find out that between the words in small print Beyonce and Concert was ‘s Sister’s and now you are watching Grammy award winning Solange. Sure, it’s an unique experience but it ain’t Beyonce.

And also, there is no amount in the world that would keep Shiva away from this tournament if it’s as prestigious as it’s led to be. Let’s be real. If anything, it’s far more likely that she saw the roster of scrubs and decided to make some scratch.

There are two characters that I recognize: Connor Hawke and Rose Wilson. I am not familiar with Connor so I am not sure if he is out of place. Rose is fine but y’know, scrub. I’m sorry Rose Wilson got her ass handed to her by Cass in the previous universe. There is no universe where I take her seriously in a fighting tournament to crown greatest fighter because the ass stomp was so thorough that Cass was beating Slade’s ego by proxy.

Back to the comic, Damian interrupts the host and basically is the fighting tournament trope of overly confident disrespectful guy with too many accolades which he will proudly tell you about them. What I like about this is the nice nod to the previous manga panel. Damian is not a great fighter. There I said it. Damian’s ability hinges on the idea that he was trained by the greatest killers and Batman but the issue is that name prestige doesn’t make great fighters. Too many times, comic books overly rely on this idea of fighting being a what you know and not being a game of not getting hit and getting hits in. It does not matter if Damian is trained by the League and Batman and it’s questionable as to how much Batman taught him in the first place. Hence why we see Damian with a sword or staff to compliment his lack of range. Damian can’t read muscle twitches like a Cass or Shiva so he has a normal reactive response and comics never highlighted his ability. The most impressive thing I’ve seen Damian do is catch a Batarang which is something I’ve seen Tim do. Damian overly relies on the idea that his teachers taught him to be the best when they simply taught him to survive in a fight.

“But why does Cass get away with it?,” you ask. Cass has this broken hax that is reading muscle twitch and immediately knowing the instant of what you are going to do before you do it or decide to do. Cass doesn’t need range because to her, you are screaming your intentions. She doesn’t need to block an attack when she can just parry. She doesn’t need to step back when she can just step forward while slipping all attacks. She is an autistic savant at fighting with an absolute defense. Damian is just another badass teen in a world of badass adults.

And the humbling of Damian begins...again.

Pros:

-Damian’s new costume. I like that he is branching out and starting to own his own colors. It’s nice.

-Using a character flaw to make it a theme. I like Chekhov’s gun via teachable moment. In tournament arcs, what separates the good ones and the bad ones is the idea that the hero simply must overcome their opponents and not their own self. This is why Yuyu Hakusho is awesome.

- Great art and nice continuity. It’s nice that Damian’s past wasn’t ignored for once and they didn’t just throw his Teen Titans characterization down the tubes. Say what you want, but it was arguably Damian’s longest run in spite of his fans hating it. And contrary to what they believe, it was very much in character for him. My fear going into this that Damian would not face any fallout and lo and behold he ran away.

- it’s a good start for a Damian story. Say what you want, but it’s unique in that the little shit gets his comeuppance immediately. And not that just by losing, but by dying. Damian has killed before and readily justifies it because he never realizes the weight of taking someone’s life. He’s been killed before but those were painted in a way that he is valiant. Here, this is death caused by his own arrogance. He mocks a fighter for talking shit and gets murked while talking shit. He spouts names of his own teachers and expects people to care or be weary as if Rose Wilson and Connor aren’t there. It’s a tournament sponsored by the League of Assassins, Damian. They have been taught by the league too.

Cons:

-Look I get promotion. No promoter is going to undermine their product but the fact that this tournament reeks like ABA is killing my interest to give a shit. It’s a convenient caveat to say that, “Well, a character won this so they can have the title but the title doesn’t mean anything.” I know of regardless of whom wins this, they aren’t the best. Go ham or don’t at all.

-not enough emphasis of the importance of this arc. Why even have this tournament? What’s the prize? What’s even the point?

-While the art is nice, the action is framed poorly. I like physical action like this to be nearly choreographed in a way I can see and piece movement in my head. The two fight scenes we get are somewhat disjointed in that it’s just poses. For example, Flatline’s first kick makes no sense at all and I don’t get her follow up. Trying to picture the movement hurts my head and in an action concept like this, it’s best to frame action scenes as more than doing poses. Here is a good example:

This only emphasizes the action and gets the reader to acknowledge that this a tournament of great fighters or at least a great fighting story.

All in all, do I think this story is off to a good start? Yes. Is it going to change my opinion on Damian? Hell no. My reaction to Damian getting his ass handed to him was this.

The issue is that it never sticks. Damian can learn and be a better person but the development never sticks. It becomes a cyclical series of events because whoever writes him next will just keep writing him as this shitty entitled murder rich kid who never learns anything and gets validated somehow. It’s been over a decade and I’m tired of the same excuses of his shitty behavior. I am tired of writers validating it or excusing it.

Damian losing isn’t an outcome I care for because it’s wasted on him. Honestly I am more interested in Connor and Rose being there. I have no faith that it will stick nor does it undo the shitty idea of the character. I have never wanted to see Damian fight. It’s never been fun to read about nor has the impetus of his character emphasized the ability or style. Placing Damian in an Enter the Dragon style tournament lacks the pizzazz of Cass doing the same thing. For example, let’s try Marvel.

Let’s say someone pitches an idea of a tournament arc styled after Game of Death. Immediately you think Martial Artists non-powered. Danny Rand, Daredevil, Elektra, Shang-Chi, Pei and Colleen Wing. Okay, instead of giving those characters the honor, you give the story to Black Cat. Honestly, I’d read it because Felicia could sell me a documentary on grass and I’d buy it but the point stands, why does Damian have this Bruce Lee inspired Martial Arts story versus the actual Chinese or East Asian Martial Arts focused member of the Batfamily, Cassandra Cain?

But this has nothing to do with what could have been. It’s a fun beginning of a possibly fun arc. In that regard, it delivers but what’s the point?

Like I said, fun story.

@ubernegro

[fanmoose12]

What about Levi + Hange’s squad gossiping about their leaders, while LeviHan themselves are oblivious to each other’s feelings? Maybe like the two squads setting up scenes to get them together

“Nifa, no, that’s not how you fold napkins!” Oluo huffed with an arrogant look. “Ask Gunter, he knows how Captain Levi does that. And, Moblit, what the fuck is this?” he gestured at the bottle in Moblit’s hands. “It’s rose wine, and Captain likes red.” 

“But Squad Leader...” 

“Oluo!” Petra shouted, stomping her foot with a fierce glare. “What the hell are you doing here? You’re supposed to be on a lookout duty!” 

Oluo puffed his chest out, looking immensely pleased with himself. “I fulfilled my duty already,” he announced solemnly. “Captain is already on his way. I saw him in the hallway.”

“What?” members of the two most elite squads in survey corps screamed in unison. 

“You were supposed to bring him here after we prepared everything!” Erd glowered. 

“Are you an idiot?” Gunter added. 

“I can’t believe I trusted you with this,” Petra shook her head.

“Go and do something about it!” Nifa pushed him, until Oluo’s back hit the door.

“Yeah, distract him,” Moblit ordered. “Just for another five minutes, until we finish everything here.” 

“Fine, fine,” Oluo lifted his arms in surrender. “I’ll think of something, just don’t take too long. Otherwise, Captain will get suspicious.” 

Oluo huffed once again and then walked out of the room. As soon as he closed the door and turned around, he was met with Captain Levi’s famous icy stare. Oluo gulped, feeling his knees weaken. 

“C-captain!” he squealed. “Are you looking for Squad Leader Hange?”

“Since I’m standing right in front of her goddamn room, then yes, Oluo. I’m looking for Hange.” 

“She’s-” Oluo wildly looked around, searching for an answer. Damn it, he should have let Petra handle it. Despite her shy demeanor, she was an expert liar. “Squad Leader Hange is busy. She- she just had a bath and hasn’t dressed yet. You should for a bit, Captain.” 

Oluo nodded steadily, as though confirming his own words. It was a pretty good lie, he was honestly proud of himself. 

The moment of joy didn’t last for long, though. Captain Levi arched an eyebrow, and Oluo almost squirmed under his dark gaze. 

“Do tell me, Oluo,” and, oh no, Oluo didn’t like the tone of his voice at all. It was too menacing even for his Captain. “How do you know that Hange is undressed in there? And what were you doing in her room?” 

“I-” Oluo tugged at his collar, a shiver running down his spine. Looking at Captain right now felt almost as scary as looking in the eyes of s titan. He swallowed, trying to avoid meeting Captain’s gaze. “Commander Erwin asked me to bring her some papers and-” 

“Really?” Captain leaned closer, and Oluo felt like a trapped fly. And the spider that caught him was very, very frightening. “Then where are those papers, Oluo? I don’t see you holding anything.” 

Oluo slapped his forehead harshly, feigning frustration. “Oh no, I forgot them! They’re in my room, come with me Captain, I’ll give them to you. You’ll pass them to Squad Leader Hange, right?” 

For a long moment, Levi said nothing, just continued to silently study him. 

“You’re up to something, are you not?”

“No!”

“Is that a sweat dripping down your face?” Levi asked casually. 

“Commander Erwin said these papers are really important!” Oluo exclaimed, ignoring Captain’s last comment. “We need to hurry and get them!” 

“We?” 

“Let’s go!” in a fit of sudden courage, Oluo grabbed Levi’s arm and started drugging him away from the door. Captain Levi was one scary fella, there was no doubt, but angry Petra was much, much scarrier. And if he failed at keeping Captain away from that room, she’d be furious, Oluo knew it. 

Thankfully, Captain didn’t question him any further, just followed Oluo. 

“What do you need from Squad Leader Hange, sir?” Oluo asked, trying to ease his nerves. 

“She asked me to come,” Levi shrugged. “Well, she didn’t ask, but Abel said she wanted to see me.” 

“Ah.”

So that was Abel, who almost ruined their plan? Oluo couldn’t wait to tell Petra about this. She’ll tear him a new one for sure. 

He and Captain was almost at the end of the hallway, when Oluo heard the unmistakable voice of Squad Leader Hange. And then, a couple of seconds later, the sound of the door to her room opening. 

Finally. 

“Look, Captain, it’s Squad Leader Hange! You wanted to see her, so I’ll get out of your hair now, goodbye!” 

“Hey, what about those papers?” Levi called after him, but Oluo was already gone. 

“Tch,” he sighed and turned to Hange. “Hey, four-eyes, weren’t you supposed to be in the bathroom?”

“Don’t start this again, Levi,” Hange rolled her eyes. “Keiji said you were waiting for me, and I hope you came here not because you wish to give me another lecture on hygiene. I’ve showered this morning already,” she puffed her cheeks, pouting. “Nifa made me do it.” 

“I wasn’t waiting for you,” Levi said, utterly confused. “Abel said you were waiting for me.” 

“Huh?” she frowned, but the troubled expression disappeared momentarily, replaced by a happy grin. “Well, if you’re here, let’s hang out. It’s been a while since we did it.” 

***

“Oh...” Hange breathed out, as she walked inside her own room. It looked drastically different from how she’d left it in the morning. 

For once, it was clean, all of her papers put into neat piles and her bed made up. It’s not the tidyness that attracted most of the attention, though. No, it was a small table that stood in the center. On it, there were two sets of plates with a delicious meal waiting for them and two glasses, already filled with wine. A candle was lit and placed between the plates, illuminating the room in soft colors. 

“I swear, it’s not my doing,” Hange whispered. 

“I wasn’t suspecting you, dumbass,” Levi snorted. “I have a suspect, though.” 

“Oh?” she tilted her head to look at him, her eyes shining with curiousity. 

“My squad and yours,” Levi sighed. “Now Oluo’s behavior makes sense.” 

“That was so sweet of them!” Hange cooed with a wide smile. “Come, Levi, sit down. We shouldn’t let their work go to waste. Ah, what a thoughtful gesture!” 

“It is nice,” Levi agreed, walking further into the room. Before Hange could reach the table, he beat her to it, pulling a chair out for her. 

“Didn’t know you’re a gentleman,” she murmured before taking a seat.

“Why do you think they’ve done it?” Hange asked, as she started stuffing her face with food. 

“Who knows?” Levi answered. “We can ask them, though. Right, guys?” he raised his voice and smirked, when he heard a few gasps and surprised giggles. There was no sound of retreating footsteps, however. Levi shook his head. “I guess it was their attempt to show their gratitude.” 

And make me do something about my crush on you, he thought, obviously not so keen to share this particular conjecture with Hange. 

He wasn’t ready to confess his feelings just yet, but it was good to know he had others backing him up. It gave him extra courage. 

“Eat before it gets cold,” Hange nudged, bringing him back to present. “It’s really good.” 

She smiled and Levi smiled back, grateful to his subordinates for allowing him this moment of peace. 

***

“So?” Nifa asked. “What is going on there?” 

“Nothing,” Eld shook his head, stepping away from the door. “They just talk about work.” 

“Shit,” Gunter rubbed at his face. 

“Another failure,” Oluo shook his head. 

“It’s our third attempt to bring them together,” Petra agreed sadly.

“We can try another time,” Moblit offered with a smile. “Scouts never give up, after all.” 

“Yeah!” Nifa came to stand next to him, wearing the same excited smile. “I’m sure if we keep trying, we’ll succeed!” 

“I already have a plan,” Keiji announced.

“We can discuss it at the bar!” Abel threw his arms around Oluo and Eld’s shoulders, pushing them forward. 

“Yes,” Petra nodded. “Let’s go. We have much work to do!”  

[justanotherlifeff]

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm.

(Y/N) POV

They caught the female titan. As I thought, Levi heichou had a plan. It was a shame that the others didn't know about it and hence, many lives were lost but I suppose that was meant to happen. After all, sacrifices like that were normal in the survey corps. We were moving far from the captured titan with Eren and the others when we suddenly heard a huge unearthly roar. "What the hell was that?" I wondered. Everyone else was equally surprised. A while passed and Oluo was talking to Eren about how the team should be trusted when we got a signal from Levi heichou to go back to his position. 

The expedition had ended. As we were flying back, Eld was talking to Eren about how Oluo and Petra pissed their pants on their first expedition as he didn't hear about it the last time Eld mentioned it. Petra and I didn't make any eye contact or talked even once the whole day. Not that I wanted to talk to her anyway. I felt.. Jealous? Maybe not jealous but totally annoyed because she came at me out of nowhere the last day. But yeah, I totally felt something against her.

 Who am I kidding? I feel jealous and I wish she would just die. Suddenly Gunther spotted Levi heichou flying towards us. We took a look at the figure and I could immediately tell it wasn't him. The figure was a lot more feminine. Then it killed him. Eren shouted out "GUNTHER!". I was speechless. Who was that? Oluo shouted "EREN DON'T STOP! KEEP GOING!". Then he shouted to Eld, " SHIT! WHAT DO WE DO?! WHERE DO WE GO?!". 

Eld commanded us to head to command at full speed or to any friendly forces as there was no time to get on horses.

 Petra was panicking and asking if that is the female titan or not and whoosh. It transformed into the female titan. SHE JUST HAD TO MENTION IT. "THIS TIME I WILL KILL IT!" Eren shouted. That boy needs to think straight. He can't even control his titan powers properly. "YOU CAN'T. HEAD TO COMMAND AT FULL SPEED EREN. WE WILL TAKE CARE OF THIS TITAN " Eld shouted. Eren wasted some more time nagging when I shouted at him, "EREN, DO WHAT YOU'RE SAID FOR ONCE GODDAMNIT! OR ELSE I'LL MAKE MIKASA KILL YOU!" and he finally succumbed. 

"Damn you are intimidating when you shout" Eld told me with a smile. Petra scoffed even if I could tell she was intimidated by me as well. The four of us charged towards the titan. Oluo and Eld blinded her. Petra and I sliced both of her hands and Eld went for the nape when it bit Eld. She grew one of her eyes back in less than 30 seconds... I was genuinely scared by that sudden comeback. I calmed myself down in a moment and came back at her from behind with Oluo. Petra was in front of it and she was not high enough. If I hurry, I can move her from the spot. I have enough time to save her. Atleast I think I do... 

But... Do I want to save her? I could blame it all on circumstances and not have blood on my hands at the same time... I might even have a chance with Levi heichou if she is out of the picture... There's still time to save her... Should I? Or should I not? Oluo, who was completely out of range shouted at her to go higher but then the titan stomped at her. Oluo didn't stop to think and went for it's nape but Oluo's sword broke. Then it kicked Oluo. They were all dead. I made a decision. I should own it. Then why do I not feel okay about this?  

Nevertheless, I knew I had to do something because I wouldn't just wait for Eren to be taken. I went as fast as I could towards her and snapped her arms off as fast as possible. I was using a lot of gas but I didn't care. The whole squad was dead. I couldn't do anything about it. No, I could've saved Petra but I didn't. I... I'm not a good person anymore... I don't deserve Levi after this... I'll have to tell him about it if I survive and I wouldn't mind if he hates me. My mind clouded with regret, I was going to cut off it's legs when it jumped and tried to kick me like Oluo. 

It was a stupid mistake that I made. I made some wrong movements because my head wasn't into the fight. As its hands weren't working, it couldn't kick me but its leg got stuck to the rope from my 3DMG. I was jerked out of my movements and flew backwards towards the trees. I tried to use my 3DMG but I realized I had no gas. Then I felt my back hitting against something and everything went dark.

Levi POV

I was moving back into formation when I heard a titan's roar. It wasn't the female titan. "Don't tell me that voice is Eren's" I sighed. I went to the place where the roar came from and found everyone dead. There was blood everywhere. No signs of breathing. There was Gunther, Eld, Petra, Oluo and (Y/N)? Wait, is she dead? Her head was bleeding. She laid by a tree. One of her legs was twisted. But I could see the slightest movement in her body. She was unconscious and probably broke her leg and hitted her head. She wasn't dead because the leaves cushioned her fall. I went down and checked her pulse. 

Yes she was alive. I took my blade and curved "She's alive. Give a signal if you find her" on the dirt beside her and fired an emergency signal. Someone should find her. If not, I will go back for her. I flew away towards the roars again. A girl with black hair was fighting the female titan. She had remarkable capabilities but not good enough for fighting this. She would get killed this way. I pulled her away from the fight and asked her to back off for now. She was convinced that Eren is alive. Apparently, according to her, the female titan tore Eren off the nape of his titan and ran off with Eren in her mouth. 

This girl thinks the objective of the titan is to kidnap Eren. "The objective might be to kill Eren too. In that case, he is dead'' I said to her. She shouldn't keep so much hope. "HE'S ALIVE!" she shouted at me. "I hope you're right." I told her in return. She was complaining about how I failed to protect Eren as I remembered that this girl was in the court and looked murderous when I hitted Eren.

 "I remember you from court. Eren's friend right?" I asked her only to receive a glare. I knew how she felt. I felt the same when Farlan and Isabel... "I see." I said staring at her.I heard an acoustic shell while flying. Someone must have found (Y/N). "First, we'll focus on one objective. Give up on killing the female titan." I added. The fact that (Y/N) is okay made me think straight. 

This girl was having weird effects on me and there's no denying it. But this was not the time to think about that. "How many of our comrades has she murdered?" Eren's friend asked. "Trust me, as long as that titan has the ability to harden it's skin, killing it is impossible. We'll bet everything on the chance that Eren is still alive and we'll rescue him before that thing can clear the forests." I replied.

After rescuing Eren, that girl and I went straight for the clearing. The supply wagons and all our horses would be there. (Y/N) would be there too. It didn't take too long to reach and the first thing I did after giving Eren to the medics was checking on (Y/N). I didn't know for sure to what extent she was hurt. "How's she doing?" I asked the medic in charge of her. "Surprisingly, she didn't have many injuries at all. She has a mild concussion, a shallow cut on her head and she sprained her ankle. She would be okay after a few hours if she keeps resting." the medic answered me. I felt a wave of tranquillity rush over me. I almost lost her. 

However, that feeling didn't last long as I saw my entire squad's bodies being carried over to the line of corpses. How did this happen? (Y/N)... She had the strength to fight the female titan. I know I trained her good enough for that... Was I wrong? No... (Y/N) is the only person who didn't break after my training. How is this possible? Did they underestimate the enemy? Even if they did, that could cause the death of... Two people at maximum if they were ambushed first. How is everyone dead? I saw a soldier wrap the corpses.

 What answer could I give to their family? That they died valiantly on duty? Because, that would be lying because (Y/N) was there with them. She had the power to save them. What exactly went wrong? I knew that I would be having a conversation with (Y/N) about when we go back to the walls. There would be much more things to handle though, like Eren's custody. This mission was a failure and I am sure that we would have to strategize more to get Eren's custody. Everything went wrong in this expedition. I walked towards my squad's corpses. 

They all are dead. I cared about all of them. I taught them everything they knew. However, what's done is done. I felt calm. Isn't this expected? Of Course they are dead. If I try to approach (Y/N) with my feelings, she will die too. I can't approach her. She came back alive and that's all that matters. I won't let her life go to waste. I can't because maybe, just maybe Petra was right.

(Y/N) POV

I woke up on a cart. I got up to see that we were stationed. I felt slightly dizzy due to the head injury but I managed to get up. I got out of the cart and looked around. A line of corpses were set on the ground. Levi Heichou was sitting beside the corpses, doing something. "So you're up" he spoke in a stoic voice without looking at me as I walked towards him. At that moment I remembered the squad being killed. I started feeling sick. I will never see Oluo bite his tongue again. Eld won't ever brag about Oluo and Petra pissing their pants. Gunther will never try to prove that he didn't piss his pants. And worst of all, I felt relieved that there won't be any Petra to try to take Levi heichou's attention away from me. 

I don't know why his attention meant so much to me but it was enough to be glad about Petra's death. It was an odd feeling really. I regretted having to make the decision that led to her death but her absence made me happy. I felt disgusted with myself because of that. "I'm sorry" was all I could croak out to Levi heicou. I looked down to see him ripping the batch on the jacket off Petra's corpse. That scene made me feel uneasy. Did he love her that much? So much that he would take a memory? It deeply hurted me and I knew that I deserved it. He was looking at that corpse because of my decision. How could I look at him in the eyes after that? Why did I do this?

I didn't talk to him any further after that. I couldn't bring myself to do so. He would be disgusted with me if he knew... I travelled on the cart after that. We were chased by titans after that due to the stupidity of some cadets but we lost the titans after throwing away all the corpses. I couldn't save one of our comrades from getting eaten because I was dizzy from my head injury and Levi heichou couldn't do it because he apparently had a leg injury. After that, Levi heichou gave that same batch he took from Petra to the young soldier, telling him that it was his friend's. The friend he risked his own and all his comrade's lives for. And here, I made the decision to let a comrade die because she was with someone that I liked. I really should get eaten by a titan.

Entering the walls was a nightmare to behold. The citizens were all staring and mocking at us. I felt ashamed to be alive. It only worsened when Petra's father gave Levi heichou the marriage proposal. He didn't talk. He must've asked her to marry him. A wave of relief went over my body "There's no Petra to get married to" I thought smugly and I instantly regretted it. It all hit me suddenly. I had been selfish. 

Because of my selfishness, Levi heichou would have to go to their parents and give excuses from my side to justify their deaths. If I saved Petra, Oluo wouldn't have charged towards the female titan. My mind wouldn't be clouded and I could've taken it down. We underestimated on our first attack and we could've made up for it. 

Only if I saved Petra, Levi Heichou wouldn't have had to go through this pain. I took two children away from their parents just because I couldn't make the right decision. I don't deserve to live. I deserve to have my corpse thrown off for the titans to eat. Because of my decision, Eren's custody will be changed to military police. His life would be at stake again. How could I face Mikasa after this? Uncle Erwin would have to come up with a new plan. How could I live with this decision? Why did I make this decision? 

Only if I saved Petra, I wouldn't have had to endure this odd feeling. This feeling of remorse and a twisted joy. I didn't know what to do with these nasty and unnatural emotions so I locked myself up in the room Petra and I shared as soon as we reached the castle and took a sleeping pill only to get engulfed by sleep. I wasn’t ready to face the repercussions of the decision I made.  

Levi POV

"I'm sorry" she said to me. Her voice had remorse but also relief. What was she relieved about? Her eyes showed pain when she saw me take Petra's batch. What was going on in her head? I only took the batch because I felt guilty of the way I treated her. I indeed was too cold with my rejection. I intended to give that batch to her family. At Least they would have something to remember her by... (Y/N) walked away after she noticed that I was taking Petra's batch. Could it be that she holds similar feelings towards me? 

The silence between Petra and (Y/N) this morning was very noticeable. Did they fight because of me? (Y/N) was there when Petra died. Knowing (Y/N), having all my comrades dead under her care seemed far fetched. (Y/N) was talented enough to save at least one of them, even if they were ambushed. Did (Y/N) have anything to do with Petra's death? That seemed like the only valid reason for their deaths. If it was something like that, could I ever forgive her?

As we entered the wall and Petra's father started giving me a marriage proposal for his dead daughter, I remembered the last thing I said to her. "I'm not interested in you Petra. Please don't do this again because you already made things awkward. You're a talented soldier and it would be bad for the squad if I have to transfer you". This is what I said. I should've transferred her. She wouldn't be dead then. She would've had a chance at life.

 I remembered her saying "You love her don't you? Ofcourse. I'm sorry." with tears in her eyes. I thought about this the whole time (Y/N) was unconscious. I remembered (Y/N)'s past. She was a beautiful strong young woman. I admired how she went on after everything that happened to her. If I were to be honest, I liked how she read books and how serious she was about things that matter. I was amazed by her resilience as she was the only person that I've ever met who didn't give up after the intense training I had put her through.

 I deeply approved of the fact that she took cleaning so seriously. She was just... Perfect. Atleast, to me, she was. She might come up as rude, socially awkward, ruthless, and intimidating to others but to me, she was the perfect woman. Women like her were very rare as getting beautiful usually meant not getting strong vice versa but (Y/N) had both strength and beauty. She was the only person I had ever found myself getting interested in. I knew the answer to Petra's question. 

Love isn't something that comes out of nowhere but I cared about (Y/N). Not to mention that I lusted on her. I lusted on her ever since she sat on my face. But I had to keep her safe from further heartbreak. As a member of the Survey Corps, living isn't granted even if you're the strongest soldier of humanity. I didn't want her to be hurt even more by getting involved with me. After all, people I care about always seemed to die.

To be continued...  

Taglist: @kingtamakimurder @realityisoftendisapointing

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

Happy Birthday to Me Pt 9

I slapped my face a couple of times and shook it hard to clear myself up.  When we went back to join the others we found that they had already cut the cake and had started to eat it. A-Yuan was demanding everyone eat some.

“It’s so yummy!!” he said happily. And then he looked over and saw me coming back and scrambled over to me as fast as he could with a piece of cake. 

“Xian-Ge! You have to!” he said, offering a forkful of the cake to me. I crouched down and gobbled up the bite with a loud “OMN” sound, making him giggle.

As I knew it would be, the cake was the most delicious cake ever created.

“Lan Zhan, you have to taste this!” I said, offering him a bit off the same fork. I barely finished my sentence before he’d taken the bite, not even bothering to take the fork out of my hands.

And then as I was considering the fact that I’d accidentally created a cliche ‘indirect kiss’ situation, the asshole had to go and lick his lips in the sexiest display I have ever seen in my life. 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

I managed to smile at him as he nodded his approval at me. I REALLY hope he hasn’t noticed how much I was blushing that day. Ugh. I’m a mess. 

I took Lan Zhan’s hand after that and decided we should officially rejoin the party. Walking turned into challenge mode as it often did when A-Yuan was around, because he grabbed onto my jeans as I walked. 

I’ve had more than one close call with that kid in regards to almost kicking him in the damn face. Ugh.

I stood a bit behind Lan Zhan to hopefully hide how red and gross my eyes were from all that crying. Fortunately everyone was further distracted by SangSang asking for the first brave soul to go up to sing. 

Unwilling to stop touching Lan Zhan, I pulled on his shoulders a bit so I could rest my chin on them. I pressed my cheek against his neck and asked him what he was going to sing. 

He shrugged, which was weird with my head on his shoulders but I was not to be dislodged. This close I could feel the heat coming off his poor red ears. 

I decided NOT to remind him that this was HIS idea. XD

Surprisingly enough, it was DaGe who stomped up on stage first. Never would have pegged him as the musical type!

He further shocked and wowed the crowd by not only singing something from Frank Sinatra, or at least something that sounds like him ( I have no idea what singer sings what. Don’t AT me!) but singing it WELL! He’s got this really deep like slightly raspy kind of voice when he sings. It sounded so GOOD! Talk about a tough act to follow! Fuck I thought karaoke was supposed to be for people BAD at singing!

His song ended up competing against uproarious cheers and whoops, led by Lan Xichen and the kids who easily out-shouted us. (For such a quiet man, Lan Xichen has some PIPES when he wants to be loud!)

A-Ling and A-Yuan somehow ended up on the little podium with him so that they could cheer and dance around him. I can’t imagine they cared either way for the song, but they definitely enjoyed the excuse to scream. Clearly amused, DaGe knelt down to sing TO them, much to their delight. I couldn’t help but laugh as Wen Ning even joined in, pulling the kids a bit further away for safety and twirling in a circle with them in some fun made up dance. 

The song finally ended with a flourish and a bow and much more screaming. When he looked up he seemed to lock eyes with Lan Zhan who immediately looked ready to just book it. He looked even more prepared to bolt when SangSang joined his brother on the stage. 

And just like those creepy twins from The Shining, they asked Lan Zhan to sing with them. 

And not just sing

Oh no.

They asked him to sing Celine Dion with them. 

I may or may not have secretly taken a picture on my phone that I will cherish forever. Just sayin.

He didn’t move at all until Lan Xichen practically shoved him up there. He looked at me for help, but I wasn’t gonna pass up this once in a lifetime opportunity. No way in Hell! So I help his brother push.  Just to seal the deal I used his own words against me. The ones from when I was sick. 

“Do it for me!”

I know I’m an asshole but how could I not?

I didn’t know his spine COULD bend that much. He slumped forward onto the stage, looking utterly defeated. 

Honestly I felt so bad about it I was about to go up and pull him back, but I was too late. The song had started. 

Turns out it wasn’t a Celine Dion song. 

It was THE Celine Dion song. 

Titanic theme BBY!

DaGe draped his arm over Lan Zhan’s shoulders, probably to keep him from running, as Nie Huaisang started off the song with as much over the top passion and drama as is demanded by law for that song. He said something to him but I couldn’t hear it over SangSang’s lovely crooning. 

And then it was  Nie Duet. For once I actually could believe they were brothers! Their shit-eating grins were identical as they pingponged poor Lan Zhan between them with their nudging, trying to get him to sing too. 

Eventually he gave in and between the three of them they made the most amazing, wonderful show I’ve ever seen. Lan Zhan even got into it eventually as he and SangSang practically screamed gracelessly into the microphones.

Amazingly enough, it was DaGe who managed to hit all the high notes. Did he have fucking lessons or something? How??????

I don’t think I’ve ever come CLOSE to seeing Lan Zhan acting that… SILLY before! Oh. He ended up looking like he was having SO much fun. It was so wonderful. I wish he could have that much fun every day of his life!

He looked a bit meek again after the song ended so I hugged him tight after he got off stage. Meanwhile his older brother was pushing his way ON to the stage. Apparently it was his turn now. 

I was trying not to laugh again, afraid he’d think I was making fun of him like he clearly thought before. I didn’t do a great job of it because he told me to go ahead and laugh. “I know it’s lame.”

Oh that got me going, though not in the guffaws that threatened earlier. I chuckled at him for being adorable and told him it wasn’t lame at all. I told him I was just happy to see him acting so damn silly and that I’d love to see it again. 

He pulled back to look at me and I could only start laughing again. A real in the gut laugh. It was good. So good. It was like it cleared up the last of the sobbing I’d done earlier. I felt so much better. 

“That song though,” I said, not able to resist teasing him as I put my head on his shoulder again. “I was NOT expecting that one. Celine Dion? Really??”

And then he pinched my side. Probably trying to tickle me. It did a little but that’s a dangerous game to play when the tickler themselves is QUITE ticklish and the ticklee KNOWS it. 

I pinched him back in the exact same way he pinched me and he lept back so fast it was like a cat jumping out of a bath! And even better, he stumbled RIGHT into the peacock. (brief heart attack because the peacock had at some point stolen A-Lian from her mother, but my precious niece was perfectly fine. ) 

He gave Lan Zhan a LOOK like his patience was seriously being tested, but sighed in the end and offered him A-Lian in what looked very much like a peace offering than anything else. 

“At least you’ll be more careful with her, I hope,” he said in the most threatening tone I think I’ve ever heard from a bird. 

And then Lan Zhan proved he had no qualms with stooping to the lowest of lows by using my beloved niece as a SHIELD while calling for a truce! He held her up so she was standing on his lap and her face covered his and he wiggled her arms all adorable.

And A-Lian just gave me those doe eyes that she learned from her mother and collaborated with him!

So I did the only thing I could do. I shuffled closer, bracing one hand against Lan Zhan’s neck, and tickled my traitor niece instead. She squealed and squirmed, her face turning cherry pink! 

When MianMian and Qin Su started singing some spice girls or destiny’s child or some song or other, A-Lian started to wiggle to it even though I’d stopped tickling her. 

“You like that music?” I heard Lan Zhan say as he took her by the hands to help her keep her balance as he wiggled along with her. He sounded so warm and happy. 

But then I made a mistake. I looked at Lan Zhan again. And oh that FUCKING FEELING came back. 

No! I’m good with being an uncle! I don’t need more! 

My life is a MESS. I can’t even take care of myself! How am I supposed to think about…

But then if he was with me… 

NO!

He’s NOT with me! This is just idle fantasy and I SHOULDN’T be daydreaming about it! YOU KNOW BETTER WEI YING.

Besides even if that were… a thing. It’s kinda putting the cart before the horse. 

One step at a time. If we ever do actually make it past step one THEN we can start thinking of… what would that be. Step 15?????????????????????????????????????????

UGH.

He was looking at her with such a tender expression. It made my heart squeeze with want so hard it almost hurt. 

I grabbed a glass of wine and downed it to help keep my mind away from such dangerous fantasies. 

“I didn’t know you were so good with kids,” I said once the burn of the alcohol had settled in my stomach. 

“I didn’t know either,” Lan Zhan said. Do Lans not have kids? I suppose he’s probably spent most of his time with his brother, and he doesn’t have kids so maybe that makes sense. 

“Maybe A-Lian is just that good with adults,” he continued after a thoughtful pause, making me snicker.  I leaned in to kiss my niece’s chubby (and admittedly kinda sticky) cheek and she giggled, making my heart squeeze again. 

Then she made grabby hands at me to pick her up! ;dklsjf;saj I must have done something right because she doesn’t ask for me very often! So naturally I scooped her up immediately. Lan Zhan seemed unwilling to give her up, not that I blame him, and held her a little longer even though she was secured in my arms already. 

Eventually he did let go though, saying he was going to get more cake. I made A-Lian wave at him as he got up and asked him to bring me a slice of the cocai--cake too. 

[hanji-zoe103]

LeviHan Spookfest! Scars/Gore

@levihanweek 

Bleeding Wings-

           Hanji stared out the window watching the storm.

           “Hanji come to bed,” Levi said.

           “You’ve been there for hours...”

           “I can’t sleep… it hurts... on nights like these,” Hanji said softly.

           A bright flash of lightning lit up the room and illuminated the big jagged scars sprawled across her back in the shape of the Scout logo...the wings of freedom. Levi grimaced.

          “It happened on a night like this you know...” Hanji muttered.

           Levi could never forget that night...

~~~~~~~~~~

Several months ago-

           “Are you sure you’re okay to go alone?” Levi asked.

           “Yeah, this was a good friend and I should be the one to deliver the news to his parents,” Hanji replied.

           She folded the Scout cloak around this Scout’s belongings.  It was customary to bring back deceased Scouts belongings to their family when you delivered the news of their passing.  

           “Well, don’t be gone too long. Weathers supposed to turn bad,” Levi said.

           He never liked the idea of her going out into the town alone.  It worried him since there were some people who weren’t that fond of Hanji. 

           “I promise I’ll be back in a little Levi,” Hanji said.

           “I have to do this and I know his mother will want to talk for a bit.”

            “Just be careful, okay?” Levi asked.

           “I will,” Hanji replied.

           “Don’t be too worried, I won’t be anywhere dangerous.”

She ruffled Levi’s hair which made him “Tch” but a small smile tugged on his lips.  Hanji smiled and left.  Levi sighed and watched her leave.

           Hanji was barely out the door before an all too familiar voice yelled out her name.

           “Section Commander!”

           “I’m busy Moblit, I’ll see you later,” Hanji said.

           “I’ll go with you!” Moblit replied as he stopped by her side.

           “I’m going alone,” Hanji said.

           “You can’t go alone, it could be dangerous!” Moblit replied.

           “I said no. I will be fine,” Hanji said as she began to walk again.

           “I-I really feel like I should go with you Section Commander!” Moblit replied following her.

“When I said no, I meant no!” Hanji snapped.

           “This must be done alone. Go back to base.”

           She walked off and disappeared into a crowd.  Moblit frowned.  He stomped off in another direction.

           “I just try to help and what do I get?! Yelled at!” he grumbled.

           “Well fine! She can be on her own!”

           He kicked at a rock.

           “Hey! Watch where you kick shit, moron!” a male voice complained.

           “Oh! I’m sorry!” Moblit said.

           “What’s got you into a rock kicking rage?” the man asked.

           “Just a good friend of mine refusing my help,” Moblit grumbled.

           “I see. Oh! You’re in the Scouts!” the man said suddenly changing the subject.

           “Do you happen to know Hanji Zoe?”

           “Yeah, I work closely with her,” Moblit replied without a thought.

           “I’d really like to speak with her about some titan information,” the man said.

           “Ah, sorry,” Moblit replied.

           “She’s out right now visiting Cadet Johnson’s family, returning his belongings. I can send for you once she’s back.”

           “No need,” the man said.

           “Which way did she go? Maybe I’ll be able to say a brief hello after I finish my…uh… shopping.”

           There was something off about this man but Moblit was too lost in thought to notice.  He pointed in the direction Hanji had gone.

           “I best get going, don’t want to keep my wife waiting for dinners ingredients,” the man said.

           Moblit nodded.

           “Have a good rest of your evening,” he said, walking off again.

           The man grinned.  Two more males walked out.

           “We got her boys,” the first man said.

           “Let’s go pay miss Zoe a little visit.”

           The three men snuck off, staying hidden in the shadows.

Later that evening-

           “Bye, it was nice seeing you Hanji,” Mrs. Johnson said.

           “I’m sorry it wasn’t on more pleasant terms,” Hanji replied.

           “My son did us proud and you and the other Scouts keep fighting for our freedom,” Mr. Johnson said.

           “We can’t thank you enough.”

           Both saluted to Hanji.  She saluted back.

           “It is only with your support we can continue our fight, I promise we will free humanity,” Hanji said.

           The three said their last goodbyes and Hanji left.  Hanji didn’t realize how late it was.

           “Shit, Levi’s gonna be pissed I got back so late,” Hanji muttered.

           It was a chilly, moonless night as Hanji headed back.  It was eerily empty on the streets.  Footsteps echoed behind her.  Hanji shivered as cold air nipped at her skin.  

           “It’s cold this fall,” she muttered.

           As she walked more footsteps followed after her.

           “H-hello?” Hanji asked.

           A pair of hands reached out from a dark alley and dragged her in.  A strong grasp tightly pinned her arms down.

         “Let go of me!” Hanji exclaimed.

         “Shut her up!” one of the men said.

          The one holding her, tightly clamped his hand over her mouth.

           Hanji elbowed them in the gut and bit his hand. This caused him to release her. Hanji ran towards the street.  

           “Josh, get her!” someone said.

           “Why don’t you get her Tristan?!” Josh snapped.

           “Hey idiots! She’s getting away!” the third man yelled.

           Josh tackled Hanji and dragged her back.

           “You happy now Koltin?” Tristan said.

           Hanji struggled and kicked at them.

           “Pin her down!” Koltin ordered.

           Josh and Tristan forced Hanji to lay onto the ground, pinning her arms down so she couldn’t escape.  Tristan pressed his shin against her head, keeping it against the stone.

         “Someone, help!” Hanji yelled.

          “Shut it!” Koltin snapped.

           He ripped off a piece of fabric and tightly tied it over her mouth, silencing her cries for help.  Hanji struggled but it was no use, they overpowered her.

           “Let’s get to work,” Koltin said with a twisted grin.

           He ripped Hanji’s Scout jacket off and looked at the wings on it.

           “Yes, that will be a lovely design,” Koltin said.

           He pulled out a long knife with a jagged edge.  Koltin cut Hanji’s shirt and bra open revealing her back.

           “Perfect canvas for my design!” he said with a laugh.

           Hanji screamed feeling the blade tip dug deep into her skin.  She jerked and squirmed as Koltin continued to slice away.

           “Keep that up and you’ll make these lovely wounds worse.” Koltin said with a laugh.

           Hanji managed to pull one of her arms free.  She punched Tristan in the face.

           “You little…” he growled.

           He slammed his fist into the side of her face, knocking her glasses off in the process.

           “Oh-ho-ho! That’ll be a nice black eye in a less than an hour!” Tristan taunted.

           He grabbed her arm and held it down once again so Koltin could continue his work.

           “You know, the Scouts tend to appreciate you a lot Hanji Zoe,” Koltin said as he sliced through her skin.

           He laughed hearing Hanji’s cries and screams of pain.

           “But me and my boys? Nah. We hate you.” Koltin hissed.

           “You…you’re the cause for all the innocent lives being lost, you and your damned titan research! All that research and what?! What has become of it, nothing! Just death and destruction.”

           Koltin continued to carve into her back without mercy.  He grinned watching her blood drip off her back and fall onto the ground.  Hanji trembled with each new knife cut.  

           “You’re looking mighty pretty all carved up and with your skin painted red,” Koltin said.

           “One more wing and then my work here is done.”

           He pressed the cold blade against her shoulder.  Hanji begged him not to but that only made Koltin press the blade harder and deeper into her skin.

…………..

           “If you know what’s good for you Hanji, you will leave the Scouts.” Koltin warned.

           “Let your new wings be a final warning.”

           With that, Koltin, Josh and Tristan left.  They left Hanji half naked, bleeding and badly wounded in the dark alley. Rain started to fall.  Hanji slowly stood up, pulling her torn up jacket on, since her shirt was shredded.  She slowly and with pained movements headed back to base.

-------------

           Levi was sitting in his office, waiting.  He was worried.  Hanji had been gone for a long time.  With a sigh, Levi got up.  He saw the rain.

           “Where are you Hanji…?” Levi said.

           He headed down to the main floor to get some tea.  Just as he walked out from the mess hall, the door creaked open.  It was Hanji.  

           “L-Levi…p…please don’t be m-mad,” she could barely get out.

           Something wasn’t right.  Levi knew it.

           “Why would I be mad?” he asked.

           “And come inside, it’s too cold and rainy for you to be out there.”

           Hanji only had a hand and her head inside the door.  

           “I-I made…a mistake,” she said.

           “Hanji for Maria’s sake come inside!” Levi replied.

           She did.  Levi dropped his teacup and rushed over to her.  

           “Hanji?!” he exclaimed.

           She collapsed in his arms, covered in blood, weak, a black eye, her shirt mere tattered fabric hanging from her body, only wearing her jacket, soaking wet and shaking.  

           “Hanji what happened?!” Levi asked again.

           “I got a-ambushed,” Hanji said.

           She grimaced and whimpered in pain.  

           “What did they do?” Levi asked.

           “M…my b-back,” Hanji said.

           Levi leaned her against his chest and looked.  His blood ran cold seeing the damage, the Scout wings…their symbol of hope, mercilessly carved into her back.  Only a monster would do such a terrible thing. Without a second thought, Levi scooped her up and raced to his room.  

           “I’m going to take care of you Hanji, hang on,” Levi said.

           He was up for hours on end tending to her wounds.  

           The next morning, Hanji was still out.  It’d been a very rough night for her.  Levi sat in a chair by the bed.  He gently held her hand and comforted her when she shifted in sleep. The ones who did this to her…were going to pay.  There was a knock on the door.  Levi allowed them in.

           “C-Captain?” Moblit asked.

           “Have you seen…”

           His voice trailed off seeing her.

           “What…happened?” Moblit asked.

           “She was attacked last night. Some thugs jumped her and hurt her badly,” Levi said.

           Moblit froze.  Wait…was this his fault?  Levi noticed this.

           “Berner.” He said.

           “N-nothing!” Molbit replied quickly turning and heading to the door.

           Levi blocked his path.  

           “Talk. NOW.” He growled.

           Moblit fidgeted.

           “N-not here…” he muttered.

           Levi shoved him out into the hall.

           “Start talking or I will not be happy.” He snapped.

           “Y-yesterday, I tried to go with Section Commander, but she told me no. I insisted I go with her but that just made her mad,” Moblit said.

           “I was upset at first and walked off. I ran into a stranger who was out doing his shopping. He asked about Hanji and I told him she was out visiting a fallen Scouts family. I did mention the direction she went in…”

           “First off when she says no, she means NO,” Levi growled.

           “Second of all, why in the hell would you tell a stranger about her whereabouts?! ARE YOU A DAMN MORON!?”

           “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t think anything would happen!” Moblit replied.

           “IF you are the cause of her pain and the reason she’s been hurt. You WILL suffer.” Levi hissed.

           “Tell me where you met this man and what he looked like.”

           Moblit explained everything.

           “I never meant for her to get hurt…” he said.

           “You don’t even know how bad it truly is. You didn’t see her come in and collapse in your arms bleeding. The pain of watching her suffer and cry in pain knowing you can only do so much to help her…” Levi replied, anger in his voice.

           “M-may I see her?” Moblit asked.

           “No. And I think it best if you stay away from her for a while,” Levi snapped and he walked back towards the room.

           “You can’t do that!” Moblit said.

           Levi turned around and punched him in the face.

           “I made my point clear. You best follow it or else life will be very unpleasant or you.” Levi warned.

           He went back to Hanji.  The moment he walked in the door, she started to wake up.  

           “Hey,” Levi said as he knelt by the bed.

           “Levi…?” Hanji asked.

           “Yes, it’s me,” Levi replied as he stroked her cheek.  

           “Don’t worry, those men won’t ever touch you again.”

~~~~~~~~~~

           Hanji stared blankly out the window.  Levi walked to her and draped a soft shirt over her shoulders.

           “Come to bed now,” he said as he stroked her back gently.

           “I’m here and nothing will ever happen to you.”

           Hanji leaned into his touch.

           “I know this is stupid…but my scars… Are they ugly? Do they make me ugly and weak…”? She asked.

           Levi sat next to her and pulled her onto his lap.

           “Don’t you ever say that about yourself,” he said.

           Hanji looked at him.  Levi stroked her cheek.  He leaned down and kissed the tip of her scars.  

           “Scars don’t define us, they don’t make us ugly,” Levi said.

           “Just because you have scars, doesn’t make you less desirable Zoe. We all carry them on our bodies.”

           He gently traced the uneven raised scars on her back.

           “I still love you for you,” Levi said, kissing her cheek.

           Hanji blushed a bit.  Levi picked her up.  He kissed her gently.

           “I don’t see your scars as ugly,” Levi said.

           “They are part of you and I accept and love every part of you.”

           He gently laid her down.  Hanji wrapped herself up in the warm blankets.

           “I’m not done yet,” Levi chuckled.

           “With what?” Hanji asked.

           “Remember what the doctor’s orders were? A special skin oil on your scar twice a day,” Levi replied.

           “But it’s so much work…and I can’t do it myself!” Hanji mumbled.

           “That’s what I am here for,” Levi replied as he kissed her shoulders.

           Hanji giggled.  Levi gently applied the oil over her scar.  It wasn’t pretty but it was part of her and Levi didn’t care about it. He was very protective of her. He’d even beaten up a Scout who teased Hanji about her “wings”.  

           “Thanks Levi,” Hanji said smiling sleepily to him.

           “You love me for me, scars and all. And you’re always here when I need.”

           Levi gave her a sweet little kiss on her lips.

           “Always and forever,” he said smiling to her.

           “Always and forever,” Hanji replied.

           Levi finished up with her back and then dressed her in a sleeping shirt.  He made sure Hanji was comfortable, then laid down next to her.  

           “Sleep well Zoe,” Levi said softly.

           She nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck and drifted off to sleep.  Levi held her close and soon fell asleep as well.  The rain stopped and a starry sky lit up the night.  Both slept peacefully that night, happily in each other’s arms.

[imaginesnkdorks]

Hii, thank you so much for blessing my dash with so much SnK content!!! I love it. Also, can I please get a scenario about Levi's s/o comforting him after what happened in the 57th expedition. Thanks!!

Humanity’s Strongest

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Character deaths

[A/N: Yay! You can never have too much SNK content. Took a while with this, but here ya go. Sorry as I am veryyyyyy rusty.]

It’s only ten in the morning? I feel like I’ve been cleaning for hours, yet time barely passed. I can’t stop fidgeting when I’m nervous. I’m literally a giant ball of nervous energy!

“You’re going to drive a hole on that desk is you wipe it one more time.”  Came a voice behind me. I didn’t even notice someone coming in.

“Levi.” I let go of a deep sigh, and let go of my rag. “Aren’t you happy I’m cleaning?”

“Not when you’re only focusing on one spot. Or doing it out of nervousness.” He walked closer and sat down next to me. He looked at me, clearly encouraging me to talk.

“Tomorrow’s expedition seems bleak.” I said, dropping onto the chair beside him. It’s barely been a month since the last one and we’re off again. We’ve barely buried our dead – at least those that we could still burry.

“Aren’t all our expeditions like that?” He smirked at that. Of course, he’s right. A Survey Corps expedition is never complete without a single death or more. It’s not like we like it that way. Shit happens. There’s still a lot we don’t know about titans. Especially that a person could turn into one.

“I know.” It’s all I could say to that. “Did you come here to make me feel even worse?”

He grabbed my hands, which were still fidgeting, and held on to them. “Tomorrow will be different.” I looked at him as if he sprouted an extra head. I can’t believe it, Levi is being optimistic?

“What?” He asked, suddenly annoyed. His eyes giving that intense look I’ve always loved.

“Nothing.” Moving to intertwine my hands with his, I went on to do our ritual. The one we do before expeditions. “Promise you won’t die.”

He made a face at that, a mix of sadness and determination. His grip became firmer before he answered, “I promise. Promise you won’t die either.”

“Promise.” We both know it’s pointless – we can’t control anything out there. What we can do, however, is try. I was able to live through situations I never thought I could with just the thought of Levi. It makes me feel all warm inside to think that I have that same effect on him.

His hand traveled from mine to my face. “I know I tell you this every time, but be careful. Especially tomorrow, we might face the Armored Titan.” He’d never say it out loud, but I can read the worry in his face. I know it’s a reflection of mine.

“You too, humanity’s strongest.” His lips curved up at my use of that moniker. It is true, he is humanity’s strongest. I’ve seen him fight and it was the single, most encouraging thing I’ve ever seen. He’s like hope in human form.

Silence settled over us, and the comfort I’m used to feeling whenever I’m with him and he alone started to set it when we were so rudely interrupted.

“Oh, Captain Levi, Y/N!” It was Eld, followed by the rest of Levi’s squad. Their faces redden as their eyes settled on Levi and me. Yet another intimate moment interrupted. Levi and I straightened up, and I can see just the tiniest speck of red on Levi’s ears.

“Y/N, will you be having dinner with us?” Petra, ever friendly, asked. I nodded at that. It’s also our tradition to stay together as much as possible before an expedition. And I like that time spent here with his squad. Having Hange as my squad leader is certainly… annoying at times. See, she’s probably the only one with the guts to tease Levi.

“Ah, good evening.” Eren bowed as he joined us. He looks every bit like a normal boy. Nothing that would hint at his ability to become a titan.

Everyone was a little on edge, which is a given since we’ll be leaving the walls tomorrow. But not even that could stop Oluo from running his mouth off. Despite everything, it was nice having dinner with them. And certainly, sleeping in Levi’s arms is something I could never get tired of.

“Black flares!” I reported to Hange as we continued our journey. We’re on supply duty… or maybe canon duty? See, Erwin had the brilliant idea to capture the Armored Titan, which he was so sure would appear on this expedition. However, it wasn’t the Armored Titan.

“It’s almost decimated the whole right flank! It seems to look very feminine, aberrant too. It hasn’t eaten a single soldier, but dragged a bunch of other titans with it!” The soldier reported to us. Chaotic is an understatement.

“I see. Moblit! Fire the flare!” Hange commanded, before turning over to me, “Y/N, relay the news. You know which squad.”

“Yes!” Not everyone knows where Levi’s squad is positioned, but I’m amongst those that do. I took off and hurried to where Levi is. It didn’t take me long before spotting Levi.

“Message to pass along! Right flank recon has been destroyed! Pass this on, to the left.” I told him and his team the moment I was close enough. Thing is, Levi is the only one who really knows what’s going on. I had to censor the message.

“You heard Y/N Petra, go!”

“Yes, sir!” Petra dashed off to relay this info. Just when she started heading left, black flares went off.

“Eren, you fire it!” Levi commanded. I was already riding beside him the moment he finished.

“What a mess. We let it penetrate deep into our formation.” Levi said softly so that only I could hear.

“It isn’t the Armored one. Apparently, it’s leading along a pack of titans.” Black flares just won’t stop from going off now. “Be careful, Levi.” I told him before riding back to my squad.

“You too, Y/N.”

         I was amazed at how composed I was during the whole ordeal. I was able to follow Hange’s every order and help set up our traps in a timely matter. And yes, not much shaking of hands now.

         It didn’t take long before the screams of our fellow soldiers echoed through the forest, accompanied by the heavy thumping that could only belong to a titan. In a heartbeat, Levi and his squad appeared closely followed by the titan.

         “Fire!” At Erwin’s command, a barrage of traps blasted onto the titan. Sparks flew and the smell of smoke wrapped around us. Levi dropped down beside me, a silent conversation going on between us, before joining Erwin on a branch above.

         Attempts to extract whoever’s inside the Titan failed, due to its ability to harden its skin. Tsk, this is definitely harder than I thought.

         “Y/N! We’ll be firing the canons, aim it at the wrists.”

         “Yes!” Calibrating the canons is easy enough for me, and all that’s left to do is to load our explosives. Finally, free enough to take a proper look around, I saw Levi atop the titan’s head.

         “Ooof. It’s really impossible to just use blades?” I asked Levi the moment I joined him.

         “Yes. But that hardly matters. Hey!” He began, addressing whoever’s in this titan, “why not just come out? We don’t have time to waste. So… What do you think will happen to you now?”

         I looked at Levi and as I expected, his eyes have that dangerous glint that never fails to give me shivers. Seeing him like this right now makes me very excited to be back home – in bed with him. Is that weird?

         “Do you believe you can escape? I wish you’d consider all the trouble we’re going through… As I recall, you killed my troops in various ways. Did you find it fun? Right now, I’m having fun. Well, so are you, right? I think you can understand me. Oh right… I wanted to ask you something. Is it okay if we cut off your hands and legs? They’ll grow back, right? I’m talking about your limbs, not the Titan’s. We need you alive, after all…”

         It was possibly the most terrifying Levi has ever been, I wouldn’t be surprised if –

“Gaaaahhhh!”

         “Y/N! Are you alright?” Levi inquired, grabbing my shoulders.

         “Yes, just startled.” The titan went on screaming! Levi helped me get back to my feet before stomping on the titan. Which I doubt is the best idea.

         “Levi!” I warned at the sight of three titans, sprinting towards us – well, at the titan whose head we’re still on.

         “I got it!” Levi said before jumping off and get rid of the new titans. We didn’t get a chance to breathe, though, as more titans made their way towards us.

         “Y/N, get out of there!” Levi screamed as these titans are after the same titan we were – the female titan. A blur of steam and titan limbs took over for the next few minutes.

         “No!” It’s a failure. I can’t believe it! The female titan had other titans eat them.

         “Tsk. All those deaths can’t be just for nothing.” Levi probably had the same thoughts as I do. It is a devastating waste of life. But what else can we do?

         “I’ll go get my squad. Stay safe, Y/N.” All I could do was tell him the same thing.

         It didn’t take long before we were rushing out of the forest. My mind was a mess, which isn’t great given where we were, but the flash of thunder-like light and a scream of a titan grabbed my attention.

         “That’s Eren’s scream?” I wondered out loud… no! “Levi!”

         “Y/N, stop!” Hange tried, but I’m already off my horse and on my way to where the sound and light was from. I have a really bad feeling about this!

         It wasn’t difficult to make my way towards them, as Eren’s titan was making a racket that can be heard all over the forest. This is bad. Wherever he is, is Levi’s squad. And the Female Titan as well.

         “Gunther?” No, this can’t be… Eld, Petra, and Oluo? Levi’s whole squad… “Levi, where are you?” Was he able to reunite with them before? I felt cold… I feel sick. Where is he?

         The steady thumping of a titan’s footsteps can be heard nearby. I have to know what happened here. I got closer to where it was and saw Levi. “He’s alive!” Relief flooded me, however, it was short lived. The female titan sensed Levi right behind it and went for him!

         It was over in a flash. Levi blinded the titan and severed the muscles holding its arms up. However, I just now noticed someone else – a new recruit? She went in for the nape!

         “Stop!” Levi and I screamed at the same time. I was too slow… Levi pushed her away and stopped the female titan’s hand. He was able to take Eren back, and we soon found ourselves rushing back to the others.

         We stopped at a field to regroup – treat the injured and take count of the bodies. The bodies that we were able to retrieve. I’ve almost forgotten, but everyone in Levi’s squad is… gone. He was limping towards where their bodies were.

         “Levi.” I wanted to tell him to stop. To take care of himself first. But I understand what is going through his mind right now. They were my friends, too.

**

         Our travel back wasn’t pleasant. The dread of what’s waiting for us back home is also weighing down on our shoulders. And Levi was quieter than ever.

         I made my way to the dining hall and found it empty. Of course, it would be, it’s only me, Levi and Eren here right now. Once I was done making tea, I went to Levi’s room. Laid on his desk was a couple of Survey Corps patches.

         Setting the tea set down, Levi grabbed my hand before I could pour us a cup each. I felt his need of me in his touch.

         “I wasn’t able to help them…” He said so softly I wouldn’t have heard it If I wasn’t sitting so close to him. I held his hand tighter, trying to make him feel what I was about to say.

         “It’s not your fault.” A sight only me is privy to appeared before me. Tears welled around Levi’s eyes, and he looked as heartbroken as I feel.

         “I know.” Where words fail us, actions didn’t. I pulled him into a hug, careful of his injured leg.

         He grabbed me so hard as if I was the only connection to life and he should never let go. It started as a whimper, but soon he was crying. I was, too. What can I say? Definitely not It’ll be alright. But I told him that anyway.

         Calming down a little, I was able to help him take off his gear and uniform. After bandaging his ankle, we laid down on his bed. Tired physically and emotionally. We were holding onto each other so tight.

         He was sniffling, still not done mourning his fallen comrades.

         “It’s okay to cry, Levi. In my arms, you’re not humanity’s strongest. You’re just Levi, the man I love.” I felt him nod, before kissing me. I didn’t care how tearful the kiss was. All I want to do is to make him feel home.

         “Y/N, thank you.” I didn’t know it was possible, but he hugged me even tighter. “Thank you for keeping your promise.”

         It was then that I decided to keep that promise forever. I’d do my best and live, I’ll make sure Levi won’t experience pain this great again.

[lovelybebop]

Careless

x-bloody-inspired-x said:Hi, can I request a Levi x Reader where she's very reckless and has no regard for her own safety whatsoever. Like, she doesn't care if she lives or dies, and that makes Levi very angry. Thanks!

Howdy ya’ll! I will admit this got to be pretty long and I’m not exactly sure what happened but I think some melodramatic, angsty demon took over my body while I was writing this because... things got (As I said b4) ANGSTY real quick. well compared to my usual writing I suppose 

If you catch any error let me know! 

Thank you and hope you enjoy! 

Warnings: ANGST, Levi a little OOC, cursing, mentions mental distress. 

“Y/N! I told you to not engage!” You heard Levi yell at you front behind. Disregarding his order you jumped up pulling the left trigger on your 3DM gear aiming it at a near by tree “Watch my horse Armin!” you yelled at him before being pulled off in the direction of the forest. You let yourself be pulled sideways until you were deep enough into the woodland area you could fire you other hook far ahead of you. ‘Levi said there were three Titan just ahead’ You mused to yourself. Instinctively your eyes darted around you taking in every little detail, not so much out of self-preservation but out of sheer adrenaline. You didn’t view killing Titans as dangerous like the others you saw it as a sport. You loved the terror that entered your body when a titan raised it’s hand to grab you only to miss as you dart up to it’s head, cutting deeply into it’s nap. From behind you, you could hear your comrades yelling but you ignored them. “Geez get a li-” you tried to say until you felt yourself be swatted to the ground. 

Your breathe was stolen from your lungs as soon as you hit the ground, a awful ache shot through your shoulders and legs. Quickly you flipped onto your back to see a titan grinning stupidly at you. A smile crept onto your face. ‘Come on dummy!” You yelled hopping enthusiastically to your feet drawing your blades. The titan reached its hand out towards you heeding to your desire. You shot your hooks into it’s arm gracefully swinging off the the left of it. It turned tracking your movement but you were to fast for it to land another attack on you. You released your hooks from it’s skin feeling yourself glide freely through the air. 

From a distance your teammates watched in horror “Should we do something Captain?” Eren yelled. Levi looked hesitantly in your direction. You had your blades raised in triumph being seconds away from killing the beast that had knocked you down. “No if she wan’t to go against orders and die that’s her choice” Eren seemed to stumble on the words he tired to form in his mouth. “But captain we can’t- I can’t just watch her die!” Levi turned his head, focusing his eyes in front of him. So badly he wanted to say ‘yes’ and rocket off of his horse to go get you. Seeing you act so carelessly made his chest ache and his brain flood with anxiety. He hated the way you threw your small body at every titan you came into contact in with, seeming to have waged some personal vendetta against them. 

You were the only person left from the original Special Operations Squad after Petra and the others had passed. He had known you for so long and loved you very deeply.  Not that he had ever expressed this to you. 

Your wild laughter erupted from the forest as a sign of your victory. Levi sighed ‘At least she’s okay’ he said watching you fly towards them a wide smile spread across your face. 

 Back at camp. 

You silently tied up your horse staring off into space. You body felt drained, a deep melancholy settling onto you. Most of the other cadets had finished tending to their horses and walked sorely into the building to get out of the cool night air, leaving you completely alone. You enjoyed the silence letting your eyes wander off to observe the night sky. The sun had just finished setting allowing the moon to paint the skies a deep midnight blue, the color being so dense the only thing to break through it was the bright stars. Your horse bumped your shoulder with its nose stealing you attention away. “What is it?” you said petting it’s neck. The animal glanced to the empty stall next to it then to the water troff in front of it.

Sadly you looked to the stall thinking of the times you would tie up your horse Petra doing the same next to you after an expedition. The two of you would look at each other quietly for a moment until a smile spread across both of your faces, happy to see the other one alive. You cast your glance down feeling tears well up but fought them off choosing to focus on following the same trail your comrades had. Once inside you made your way into the mess hall where the others were tiredly eating, a low murmur filling the air. You walked forward to retrieve you food when you felt a strong hand grab your wrist. Forming a fake smile on your face you looked up at whoever grabbed you. “We need to discuss something now.” Levi growled at you pulling you out of the mess hall and into the hallway. “What is it Levi?” You said attempting to pull your arm out of his grasp. Ignoring you he pulled you down the hallway. You planted your feet firmly on the ground in front of you pulling back with all of your. “Levi let the hell go of me!” He spare you a word but coldly turned his head at you staring at you with the most hateful glare you had ever seen. He dropped your hand and continued walking forward. 

The tears you suppressed earlier came climbing back up. “Levi?” you said walking closely behind him as he made his way to his office. As the two of you walked you couldn’t help but notice the way his held himself. His shoulders were tenser then usual and he clenched both of his hands into fists, his knuckles completely white. He had chewed you out before for acting carelessly on a mission but he had never acted like this. As a matter of fact you had never in the four years you had known him, never seen him act so tense. 

He made one final right turn and ripped his door open impatiently leaving it open behind him so you were able to walk in after him. Careful not to make a sound you entered the door gently closing the door behind you. Your eyes darted to his figure. He was standing in front of his desk, his back turned to you and his head looking in front of him. “I’m sorry I took off.” you said hoping to damper his anger. “I just got ahead of mys-” He flipped around stomping towards you a wild look in his eye. “What you did today was unacceptable.” he said the tip of his nose touching yours. You felt your face suddenly become warm at his closeness. “I know your sad since losing the others but that’s no excuse to run around acting like an idiot and get yourself killed. We all miss them, your not special.” 

You felt a wall rise inside of you and your self defense mechanisms trigger, you hated talking about feelings and things that mattered. It was much more simple to focus on the lighter things in life like eating breakfast or the feeling of your blades ripping a Titan out of existence. “That’s not why I’m doing it” you said crossing your arms in front of you. You were not letting him get through to you. He raised his right eyebrow at you a look of disappointment in his eyes. “I wish you would stop acting like a child but if that’s what you want to do then so be it.” he sighed shifting his body away from you. Puzzled you watched him noticing he was attempting to form a sentence in his mouth but stopped like he couldn’t form the words. “So be what?” you finally asked keeping your voice stern. Another sigh left his mouth before he looked at you will cold grey eyes. “For disobeying a commanding officers orders you will be dismissed permanently for the Survey Corps. I have already cleared it with Commander Erwin” 

His words punched a whole thorough your your entire existence. Suddenly you felt hollow the only thing that seemed to be felt in you cavernous body was a throbbing misery, pain like you had never felt before. Quiet tears involuntarily fell down onto your cheeks but you didn’t hide them or look away from his sight like you always had done. “You’re so selfish. This has nothing to do with me disobeying orders, you let Eren get away with that kind of shit all the time. This isn’t about me at all this is it? No it’s completely about you. Your just pissed I disobeyed your order and insulted your ego” You spat, eyes burned into his face. His heart sunk with sadness at your hateful glare. “No that’s not it at all Y/N and you know that.” 

You hummed your brain flooding with anger. You wanted to punch him in the face for making you feel this sort of pain. How could you had come to trust with your life completely turn his back on you, casting you aside for some minor incident. You loved him and wanted to be by his side fighting not that you ever told him that though.  Not wanting to feel these emotions anymore you simply smiled at his nodding your head. “Whatever you say Levi. I hope you have a good life. I apologize for any inconveniences I have caused.” Without waiting to respond you walked away from him the sound of your boots hitting the wooden floor echoed throughout the room. 

He had made the decision to disband you from action after he sat Petra dead, blood trickling down her face. He remembered his mind raced, praying you had made it out, of course he was sad the others hadn’t but even the mere image of you being struck down like they had without him being there to intervene made him sick. After the incident he prayed you would get hurt, prayed you would get pregnant, regardless if it was with him or not, he begged whatever faceless divinity watched his pathetic species to inhibit you from continuing your career in the Survey Corps. ‘Are you sure this is not out of personal feelings Levi? She’s a good cadet’ he heard Erwin’s voice boom in his head. ‘No. She is becoming a danger to herself and others.’ he lied. After his meeting with Erwin he had practiced what he was going to say to you hoping for the best outcome, one where you didn’t walk out of his life completely but got the help you needed and lived a normal, safe civilian life but of course that was just a fantasy you were way to stubborn for that. 

“So this is it huh?” He said hoping his words would entice you to stay so the two of you could further talk about the situation. “Yes it is” you replied walking out into the hallway, politely shutting it behind you before he was able to say another word. 

One year later

He found himself on his horse riding out of town one day, for no particular reason. In the back of his mind something hummed about trying to purchase some tea but he brushed it off as some sad attempt at justification for his aimless wandering. He had plenty of tea, in a plethora of different flavors in his office. So much he it would be ridiculous to think of buying more. No he didn’t ride on his horse two hours away from the ease of his “home” on one of his rare days off to visit this lazy farm town in hopes of finding tea.  

“I saw Y/N!” Hanji said to Moblit as the three of them waited in  Erwin’s office before a meeting. The blonde nodded “Oh?” he said lightly focusing on the notes that laid on the table in front of him. “Yeah she’s living in some cute little own 2 hours to the north of here. She seems to be doing good!. Still pissed but good!” Levi smiled to himself at Hanji’s words, briefly he became engulfed with happiness at your mention before the guilt and sadness he always felt when you danced through his mind. As your absence began to eat away at him he found himself regretting his decision. He hated not seeing your face among his comrades, hell he even missed getting mad at you for acting for acting reckless, at least he could interact with you then. “She’s alive isn’t she? Why the fuck are you whining? This is exactly what you wanted’ he would think to himself  staring blindly at his desk. The weight of his actions settling in on him.

 ‘I was only trying to protect her’ he thought pulling up on the reins of his horse as he entered the town. His eyes looked around taking the picturesque scene in front of him, Hanji was right the town was pretty cute. It had a very innocent quality to it like the sorrow and brutality of the world he knew had yet to poison it. Little cottages popped up along the road, all of them being surrounded by a profusion of vegetation; whether it be flowers, fruit trees or vegetable plants it all seemed to be there. As he rode forward he noticed a small family that talked excitedly while they collected water in metal pales from the creek that bubbled feet from the road. He had never seen a place more beautiful in his life and felt so happy you had found yourself living  safe among it. Going deeper into town he passed by little food stands that were surrounded by woman who picked through the contents on the tables in front of them while their children ran wildly around them. One particular boy while taunting his little sister snatched the doll from her hand and launched it across the road an exhilarated look on his face. 

The doll landed in front of Levi’s horse, as did the little girl who chased it. Levi quickly pulled at the reins directing his horse away from the little girl so she didn’t get hurt. “Jesus Joseph!” A brown haired woman shouted down at her son. “you sister could have been really hurt had that man not been paying attention.” She looked apologetically up at him rushing into the street to retrieve her little girl. “I’m so sorry sir you know how kids are.” He nodded his head “It’s okay” he said his voice sounding quieter than he expected. The woman looked over his curiously her eyes seeming to focus on the badge that stuck to his jacket. “That’s odd to see someone like you out here. We never get many people from out of town. What brings you?” Though he was able to keep a straight face  panic swirled inside of him. It was such an ordinary question but it stirred him up for some reason. Did he tell her he came for tea? Now that his brain was on the subject of location he had no clue where you were living and even though the town was small it would be a difficult task to track you down. Letting his guard down he replied. “I’m here looking for someone but I’m not sure where they are..” The woman batted her faultless brown eyes at him. “Well who is it? Maybe I could help. It’s the least I could do for not running over this trouble maker” The woman rustled the little girls hair,

 Levi looked down at the child almost wanting to laugh at the girls shocked face. ‘I guess this is her first brush with death’ he mused averting his attention back to her mother. “It’s Y/N L/N” he said feeling how sweetly your name rolled off his tongue. It had been awhile since he had spoken it allowed. “Oh of course you would be looking for her!” she exclaimed becoming excited at your mention. “Wasn’t she a cadet at well at some point? Regardless, the towns cutest seamstress lives just down the road where the river crosses over. There a huge tree that shades her place it’s pretty hard to miss” she said winking at him. He awkwardly smiled at her. “Thank you” he said moving hastily down the road not bothering for an answer from the person he had just met. “Wait!?!” she yelled behind him. A sigh escaped his lips as he gently heeled his horse in the ribs prompting it to stop. He turned looking at her. “I didn’t catch your name!” she yelled still standing in the middle of the street. “It’s Levi” he shouted noticing most of the locals looking oddly at him. “I’m Patricia it was nice to meet you!” He paused for a moment breathing in the fresh air. “It was nice to meet you as well” he said before turning around continuing forward. 

As he neared closer his mind became a whirlpool of thoughts, his chest heavy with the weight of his feelings. He couldn’t wait to see you despite the anxiety that plagued his heart, despite the fact that you would be pissed at the very sight of him. He couldn’t find a fuck to give even if he had to yell it through your door or from the depths of his grave that you surely would put him in he would tell you that he loved you and that he regretted pushing you off out of his own worry and selfishness. ‘What if she found someone? What is she’s married?’ he froze on his horse a coldness creeping over his shoulder. What if you had moved on? It’s not like you would return the feelings he felt for you in the first place. ‘That makes things a little more difficult’ he said to himself looking down at the small bridge that appeared  in front of him. The deep blue water coolly ran under it making it’s way through the yard of the house across the street, the waters color seeming to darken from the shade above it. Sadly he brought his eyes up the trunk of the tree then over to the house that sat peacefully next to it. The confidence he had for a split second drained away leaving him with doubt. ‘You shouldn’t even be here’ he thought ushering his horse to travel into your yard. 

You sat peacefully on your back porch basking in the shade that cooled your skin. Earlier you had finished sowing a long skirt for your neighbor and decided after you dropped it off at her house you would take the day to yourself, doing with it what you pleased. At this point you had taken to your back porch laying down on the cushioned bench you had made in your spare time. You let your arms lazily dangle along the wooden porch enjoying how peaceful the moment felt. You didn’t hear the commotion of your visitor tying his horse to the fence around your horse, you hadn’t even heard him walk into the space in front of you not knowing of his presence until the feeling of a boot touched your finger tips. You smiled recognizing it as a similar pair you had worn while you were a cadet. 

A smile feel on our lips as you looked up at the owner. You say his sharp jawline first then his suave black hair. He was so handsome at first you wanted to get excited at his presence, hopping to your feet and embracing him in a hug saying how much you missed him and the rest of your comrades. That was until you remembered. “Oh gross” you said sitting up abruptly. In a huff you pushed past him entering through your back door. “Y/N wait” you heard his velvet voice say. You stopped inside of your kitchen anger raging in your chest. ‘Don’t freak out on him. Be calm’ you thought to yourself taking a deep breathe in before turning around. “What is it Levi?” you said crossing your arms across your chest. 

He sat just outside of the door frame staring at you with the same eyes he always had, blank, but this time something was different about him. He seemed hurt like there was a giant emotional gash bleeding out underneath his clothes. “May I come in?” he asked politely wanting to stick to formalities. You nodded hearing the floor creak underneath his boots as he stepped inside. To keep your nerves steady you filled the tea kettle you kept next to your sink with water. 

Once it was filled your retrieved the set of matches you kept on the shelf above the stove, lighting the wood within it. “You seem to be doing really well for yourself” he said after the moment of silence. “Yes I have” you replied feeling your hands beginning to shake as you set the kettle on the stove. “Your a seamstress now? There was a woman I spoke to that told me, I almost ran over her little brat but she seemed decent.” Your eyes focused on the wooden cupboard “Oh?” you said distantly taking not of the light brown color of the wood. ‘Why the fuck did he come all the way out here? To rub it in m face that I’m some lazy civilian??’ Your body shook but you attempted to conceal it by opening the door taking two white mugs from it setting them adjacent from each other. More silence ensued, a stale air formed between the two of you. Had you been your old self you would have done anything to alleviate  the awkwardness but you didn’t, instead you trained your eyes on your counter top letting the quietness crush the two of you. 

“Y/N” you felt your arm being pulled gently away from you. When your raised your eyes you found yourself being pulled into Levi’s chest. “I know you would rather die then see my damn face but I wanted to say-” He paused being caught up on his own words. . Everything had gone completely limp, you were melting into him. He exhaled, his breathe shaking slightly. “I’m sorry” He pushed you back  little looking you in the eyes. “What I did was shitty and completely selfish. I just couldn’t see you-” He cut himself off again turning away from you. 

Your body was completely numb your brain being rendered useless. Isn’t this what you had always wanted? To be held by him? For him to say sorry for the pain he caused you? During the nights you would sob alone in your bed you imagined scenarios similar to this. Levi would realize how wrong he was and come crawling back to you, like he did now. Why didn’t you feel happy why do you feel.. guilty? “I couldn’t see you die like the others.” he said softly his eyes burning a hole in the floor. Like a ghost you moved forward putting your hand on his shoulder.  “I love you Y/N and I know this is shitty timing and all but- hell I don’t know what I’m saying. I love you and I’m sorry.” 

A smile spread across your face all feeling returning to your body. You snaked your arms around his waist resting your head on his back. Suddenly you weren’t mad at him for kicking you out, if he hadn’t maybe you would have died, throwing any chance of experiencing this moment out of the window. “I love you too Levi and I forgive you. I get it people act selfishly when their in pain. I understand.” He lifted his head feeling a tremendous weight lift off his shoulders. ‘Thank god’ he thought feeling his head bump against yours. He sat still for a moment enjoying the sensation of your body wrapping perfectly around his. “Can I kiss you” he asked suddenly his own words shocking himself. You giggled lightly nodding shyly a pink blush forming on your face. 

 He turned careful not to break the hold you had around his waist. Gently he brushed your hair behind your left ear deepening the blush on your cheeks. You looked so beautiful. Slowly he leaned forward pressing his lips softly to yours. As soon as his lips landed on yours he felt a cool sensation spread across his face, awakening something inside of him. He deepened the kiss feeling you press closer to him, seeming just as eager. Your arms entangled themselves around his shoulders as his did the same around your lower back. The rush of your skin becoming more tantalizing then the next. He was about to lift you and until you jerked away. “What’s wrong?” he said looking at you with half lidded eyes. “Nothing” you panted sweetly. “I’m just out of breathe.” 

[obliviatemick]

Ben Hardy Fanfiction | When I Kissed You p. 7.

CHAPTER SEVEN: HELLO, STRANGER.

PLAYLIST: blazed - Ariana Grande.

WORD COUNT: 1761.

BARBARA'S POV.

"I can't believe it!", it was around 2 pm in Amsterdam and I was talking on the phone with Cole. "It was like reliving that night in New York. EVERY.LITTLE.DETAIL"

The dream/déjà vu about Ben had made of me a nervous mess. Of course, I had thought that night with Ben (several times, in fact), but none of my memories were that... vivid. In my dream I'd felt him once more: his skin, his lips, everything. For some reason, my dumb brain took this as a warning, a sign that something big was about to happen. The question was: what?

"It's normal!", his voice blasted through the speaker, there was a buzz of people speaking in the background, probably photographers and models. He spoke as if he found the whole situation very amusing. "Having those dreams is a pretty common thing in women like you and 12 year olds. It's biology, Barbara."

"Women like me? What does that mean?"

"Unsatisfied", he stated, a smile on his voice.

"Wha- the fact that he's the first guy I've slept with in months has absolutely nothing to do with me having those dreams and also-", in the line, he was laughing his ass off at my expense. "Cole, listen!!"

"Look, I'm just saying that you had a good time with an attractive guy whose greek profile and sculpted body were saved by your subconscious just to give him to you when you need a certain... stimulation." He made a pause, I heard him blowing his cigarette. "Your dream means absolutely nothing. "

I bit my lip, unsure of what to believe. On one side, I had my bff giving me unsolicited biology facts and on the other side I had sweaty hands, an upset tummy and not to mention the need of looking over my shoulder every two damn seconds. I was going crazy. Whatever it was, I decided to give Cole the benefit of the doubt. "I guess you're right..."

"The hell I am, now-", he made a pause to take another drag of his cigarette. "Could you stop whining about wet dreams and enjoy your moment of glory?", in the background, the clamour of conversation stopped swiftly. "Oh", I shut my eyes, embarrassed.

"Did you... have to say that out loud?"

⭐

My agent was already waiting for me in arrivals, even though we were supposed to meet thirty minutes later. The blonde, round woman was stomping her way to me, her cheeks looked rosy pink and tiny beads of sweat were glued to her forehead. She pulled me by the arm as soon as she laid hands on me.

She explained that the producers had changed the schedule and that instead of having a private table read with the cast, we would be doing a press conference with lots of media to report on it. Which meant I had to answer a lot of questions about my character in front of the whole country!

"Countries, darling", she corrected me. "This is a Netflix series; the whole world will be watching you"

I felt sick.

We hopped in a car I assumed was hers (if not: what a nonchalant way of stealing a car, Amber. Damn!) and drove 10 kilometres to the speed of an overstressed Amber to the building where the production team and the rest of the cast were already waiting for us.

When we arrived, I looked around and saw that everyone else was dressed in far better, not as casual outfits. I cocked my head to give Amber an alarmed look, but she was already directing orders to a pair of stylists that came to my rescue. One of them worked my hair while the other did my make-up and I wondered how the hell could they put up with so much pressure! They put me in a black dress that had see-through sleeves and a puffy skirt and matched it with white stilettos. In a normal situation, that would have felt like too much, but considering I would be in front of cameras from hundreds of countries... it felt just right.

My hands started sweating as I stood near the entrance of the stage, my stomach churned with both my nervousness and the odd feeling from before. It was getting worse with every minute that passed. I peeked to the room where the conference would be held and OMG, without counting cameramen, at least two hundred people were sitting there in front of the stage! I started worrying about puking in front of all those cameras and news reporters.

A raven-haired girl appeared from the side and patted me on the shoulder, she was wearing a gorgeous red dress with matching lipstick and white pumps.

"Is this your first time doing press?", she spoke with a feminine, kind of high-pitched voice.

I sighed and nodded. She smiled warmly and wrapped an arm around my shoulders

"It'll be okay, we've all been there", she chirped. "And to be honest, these things are very short! There's nothing to worry about, you'll see", she winked at me before stepping away.

Seconds after, the whole producing crew entered the stage through a door located just in front of ours. I breathed deeply and tried to mentally prepare for what was about to come. After presenting himself and the crew, Zach, the casting director, invited us to stage, a man in his forties with greying hair, beard and hard blue eyes winked at me as the whole cast walked to get our seats at the pannel.

A roar of clapping and cheering flooded the room as soon as we put a foot on the stage and GOD walking that stage felt like ages! I waved to the public and tried to give them my best imnotnervous smile before finally sitting at the table with my colleagues. To my right sat the black haired girl and then to her right was the rest of the cast. The only empty seat was on my left, I figured it would be for the actor who'd play Rowan.

"You look very concentrated today, Barbara", one of the writers said on the mic. "Are you preparing yourself for the shooting tomorrow on set?"

"Actually I was just trying not to fall on these damn heels!", I declared and then quickly shut my mouth. I couldn't believe I'd just said that in front of cameras. To my surprise, everyone in the room laughed, my co-stars, the writers, even some cameramen. Wtf?!

"Just be sure not to sprain an ankle, Barbara!" he pointed a finger at me but he smiled. "We'll need you in one piece for the next three months..."

"Roger that!"

The writer then gave the floor to Zach, the casting director who started giving some background for our characters and asking questions about how we felt related to them. During this time, I got to know my cast mates a bit more, they were friendly and WAAAY fun! Their jokes and great attitude helped me feel better and confident up on stage, I was sure we would be a great team. But... where was the other guy?

"Now, I believe this is the moment everyone has been waiting for", Zach started and everyone cheered. It was time. "My team and I have postponed this announcement for months, but there is a reason to it", he made a pause to approach our table. "As you can see, we did our best to collect the best of the best. Only the best candidates for the roles were the chosen ones for the titanic effort that bringing Fiber to life means! Like we did with Farren's role (little Barbara here), we thoroughly analysed every candidate for Rowan's role until we found the perfect match, both physically and mentally..."

I could feel the expectation growing in the room, all eyes were locked on Zach's face, following his every movement. I sat up straight and whispered to the black-haired girl, whose name I'd learned was Emeraude.

"Do you know who got that role?"

"Are you joking? I was about to ask the same thing!"

Marcus, the blue-eyed man joined in, speaking through his teeth, "It's top secret, rumour has it only Zach and the book's author know who he is..."

"I just hope he's handsome", Emeraude purred grinning and raising her eyebrows in a seductive manner. Marcus and I snorted.

"... through all the possibilities, we came to the conclusion that the one person who could bring Rowan to life is him. From X-Men: Apocalypse and Bohemian Rhapsody, please welcome the talented Ben Hardy!"

In a milisecond, the crowd around me went bananas and my soul left my body. People were cheering and whistling while for me the room spun at wild angles, they clapped and stomped their feet and I supressed a scream. Please, be other Ben Hardy, please be other Ben Hardy!

But there he was, walking straight to the empty seat next to me, looking like a model taken out of a magazine cover, that damned blond, green-eyed bastard! Because fuck me right?! After all I'd been through to avoid him... He glanced at me and instantly looked away, as if he hadn't even noticed my presence.  I took a gulp from my water bottle, trying to hide my discomfort.

"Finally!", Zach was beaming, a few more cheers erupted from the crowd. "Ben, what does it feel like to be the chosen one for the job?"

"Oh, it's an honour!", he stated with that deep voice of his. "It's just crazy, knowing that I was the chosen one when you had other thousand actors, good actors, willing to take on this role. It blows my mind!"

"Yeah, and then there's the fact that you didn't have to lie to get this role", both Ben and the crowd laughed at this comment, even some of my cast mates did. I didn't get it.

After a few more interchanges between them, Zach gave the floor to the reporters who'd been patiently waiting for Ben to appear.

"A question for Mr. Hardy, yes!", a reporter with glasses stood up. "What are your expectations of working with Miss Benavides as her character's love interest?"

Shit.

"Uhh, well..."

"Did you two know each other before today? Have you talked about..." (hey, only one question! Someone reprimanded the reporter)

"No!", we answered in unison. Our eyes met for a split second before Ben returned his attention to the reporter. "This is the first time we meet."

TAGLIST: @rrrogahtaylahhhh @valeriecarolinaw

Thank y’all for reading!

Let me know if you’d like me to put you on the taglist!

[ontherockswithsalt]

OHMYGOODNESS THE FLUFF! I have no idea where this came from but I needed to write these boys being soft before I jump back into AMM and continue the depravity. Sooo.. enjoy this little treat about somewhere-in-the-not-so-distant-future Joble. 

“Damn, I can't believe you guys closed.”

“I was down to stay open,” Noble calls out from the living room. “But I had no staff once they called off schools and half the city buses weren’t running.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” There in the entryway, I pull off my coat, the snowflakes that covered it finally melting away, and unlace my boots. I’d managed to stomp off the slush down in the lobby of our apartment and up the flight of stairs.

Once I’ve shed all my wet outer layers, I make my way into the kitchen and he gets up to meet me.

“Hey,” he offers.

I exhale with a smile when I see him. “Hey.”

“I’m glad you’re home.” He tilts over to give me a kiss, then pulls away with a startled little moan. “Mm. Cold.”

“I know,” I murmur up at him, admittedly needy for a better kiss than that.

His lips touch mine one more time and the sensation helps warm the chill beneath my skin, especially when he grasps the sides of my face in his hands. Then he pulls away and scratches light fingertips in my hair. “Tired?”

“Yeah.” I deflate a little, glancing around the kitchen. I hadn’t expected to work almost fourteen hours, but once the much-hyped snow storm hit the city, it was all hands on deck and I stayed well past end of tour.

“I hit the store on the way home--” He informs me.

“Yes,” I exhale in relief and turn past him, squeezing loving fingers at his sides before I do.

“Like all those crazy people on the news. Only instead of bread, I raided the wine aisle.”

“Well sure,” I reason. “Those survival skills I fell in love with.”

His low chuckle makes me smile as I move to the cabinet for a water glass. “You have time to eat at work?”

“No.” I shake my head before I down a big gulp of ice water and start off in the other direction. “I’m gonna take a quick shower.”

“If I made creamy tortellini soup, would you eat it?” He calls after me.

I turn back to him, lifting hopeful eyebrows. “Uh yeah.”

“Twenty minutes. Go get your shower.”

Rumbling a spent but satisfied groan, I turn toward the bedroom. “You’re the man of my dreams, you know!” I announce as I go.

“I try!”

***

After a hot shower, and a change into loose grey sweatpants and a t-shirt, I make my way to the other side of the apartment and return to the kitchen. Nobles finishes up the quick dinner, but the television in the living room catches my attention.

“What… are you watching?” I wonder when I can’t ignore the din of howling women, strobe lights and fog across the screen.

“Oh dude.” He glances up and across the room. “It’s Magic Mike.”

“What’s that?”

He laughs, stirring the soup before he turns to the cabinet for a bowl. “It’s a movie about male strippers. Have you never seen it?”

I give him a look and spread my hands as if the answer to that is obvious. “No, I’ve never seen it.”

“Thank you.” He points at me as if he was just validated. “See? I was talking to Luke the other day at work, and somehow we got on this topic of hot celebrities. And he was going on about Channing Tatum and how he'd let him do whatever to him--”

“Wait, who's that?” I stop him in confusion as he passes me my bowl of soup. I get myself a spoon and lead him toward the living room so I can eat it on the couch.

“That guy--” Noble follows, gesturing to the actor front and center on the screen with his shirt off.

“Okay…”

“So anyway. I told him I'd never seen the movie. And Channing Tatum didn't really do anything for me. And Luke gets all outraged about it like oh my god, you're kicked off the team. Are you sure you're not straight? And all that shit--”

“Wait.” I laugh. “So this movie is some like, gay rite of passage? A true test of your alliance? That seems pretty narrow.”

“I don't know, but apparently I'm not gay enough for him.” He shrugs.

I set my glass of water on the tray that sits on the ottoman and lean back. “You're gay enough for me, babe.”

“Thanks, babe.” He drops a hard palm with a squeeze on my thigh.

“So what, you decided you need to watch it?”

“I saw it was on,” he explains.

I have to shift my gaze to him, raising an arched eyebrow as I chew my food.

“It was!” He lifts defensive shoulders and I laugh at him. “But I can change it.”

I slink further down in the couch and push my feet against the ottoman, trailing my spoon through my soup. “No, I don't care.”

“I'm still kind of indifferent about him,” he notes.

Studying the actor on the screen, I manage a thoughtful side-to-side tilt of my head. “Yeah,” I mutter, unsure.

“Like if he was in regular clothes and you passed him on the street, would you look?”

I squint one eye and try to decide. “Is he ever in regular clothes in this movie?”

“I think so.”

“I could do without the costumes and props and shit,” I note. “Is that how these clubs operate? Where it’s like, themed dance routines? Do they really need umbrellas?”

“I think it… y’know, creates a whole--” Then Noble traces his hands in front of him. “Fantasy for the audience.”

“I'm not into that. Just fucking get naked.”

He laughs and then considers it. “I like it a little.”

Cutting my gaze to him again, I smirk. “I know you do.” Knowing how he gets about my uniform, I'm not surprised. “So what have I missed? What's it about?”

“Channing Tatum is Magic Mike. And he meets this dude and like, recruits him into the strip club world. And… I think that's pretty much it.”

I nod over another bite of spinach tortellini. “He's alright,” I decide, scrutinizing the character, the curves of a well-formed upper body the more he tears his clothes off. “I wouldn't say I'm indifferent. His teres are pretty sweet.”

A laugh rumbles in Noble’s chest. “That’s such a bro thing of you to say.”

I smile with a shake of my head. “Am I not gay enough for Luke either?”

“There’s plenty we could do in front of him to prove it, but I respect you too much.”

“You’re a keeper.”

Noble sits back beside me and we let a little more of the movie play out. “So this is the new stripper. They call him The Kid.”

“He’s like the rookie stripper?”

“Yeah. Something tells me he’s gonna come face to face with the harsh realities of the greater Orlando area strip club underworld, or wherever the fuck this is.”

“But maybe he’ll prove himself,” I muse. “Maybe he’ll rise to the challenge, just when you’re ready to count him out.”

With a lazy chuckle, he props one arm behind his head on the couch. “I hope he does, but in like a montage of various costumes.”

“For your sake, I hope so,” I laugh.

“You know, it’s weird,” he starts. “This whole concept of I knew I was gay when… I saw Titanic or whatever and got a boner for Leonardo DiCaprio. Some people know their whole life, and for some people, it creeps up on you.”

With a thoughtful nod, I ponder it for a moment while I look over at him. Then I shrug as I lean forward to set my bowl down. “Titanic?”

“Or whatever,” Noble laughs. “Where some celebrity has an effect on you as a kid and you’re like, oh shit, I’m gay.”

“Maybe for some people. I mean you never know.”

“Who was your first celebrity crush?”

I think about it over a deep breath and settle back beside him. “I was really into Alyssa Milano on Who’s The Boss--”

Naturally, this makes him crack up, resting his head back on the couch. “Fuck, that’s cute. You’ve been into bossy Italians your whole life, then.”

“Ha.” I grin. “What about you?”

“Dude, Alicia Silverstone in those Aerosmith videos.”

“Oh damn.” I narrow my gaze as I recall the iconic MTV blonde from my adolescence. “Yeah, for sure.”

“What about guys?” He wonders. “I feel like if I was into one, I’d only realize it in hindsight.”

I reach for my glass and ease back. “Right. Not Leonardo DiCaprio, though.”

“No,” he agrees with a disapproving scrunch of his cheek. “I mean, I have a very distinct… memory of the volleyball scene from Top Gun, but I don’t know if--”

I nearly choke on my water before I manage to swallow down a surprised laugh.

“If I’d say I was aroused by it,” he finishes, sharing my amusement.

“You can rewatch it tomorrow while you’re snowed in and let me know how you feel now.”

“Maybe I will.” Reaching over, he drags his fingers through my hair and I rest back, appreciating the faint sensation. “So by the end of this movie, is Channing Tatum gonna up there on your list with Alyssa Milano?”

“Well I don’t know. He might win me over.”

“Oh jeez,” he groans. “I’ll just be out here on my own little gay island, not understanding what all the hype is about with the guy from Magic Mike.”

My shoulders lift as I explain, “I haven’t decided yet. I have to think about it.” I raise my arm to the back of the couch, a wordless cue for him to slide in against me. “But you’ve got me invested in this damn movie, so now we have to finish it.”

“God,” he whispers, scooting down to fit against my side, his arm closest to me draped across my thigh. “You’re such a slut for back muscles.”

My playful fingers dig into his shoulder and I turn to his hair, muttering, “I definitely am. Shh--” before I press a kiss there.

I can’t be sure if I always knew, or if it gradually crept up on me. All that matters is I’m certain this man I come home to every day is all I’ll ever need.

[itsthenerdwonder]

Avengers: Endgame

So I just saw it again. I should’ve done this the first time I saw it. The audience was amazing. The laughs and gasps and cheers and tears! We were into it. There were a couple tops of heads bobbing across the bottom of the screen of people needing to pee, but overall a great experience with my roommate. 

But my parents wanted to see it too, so my dad bought tickets for an 11:30 a.m. showing yesterday. Earlier is better, but that means we don’t get the kids or teens who love this series. Just the adults who are taking off work. That might not have been bad, but it’s a dine-in theater (so people were constantly moving around in my direct line of sight) with one kid running up and down the stairs (I get you need to pee, but if you stomp one more time I will snap you out of existence) and people talking (if you want to whisper, that’s fine as I constantly whisper through movies, but even my mom talked loudly because she needed me to hear from 4 seats away) but not cheering. Come on! That was an amazing shot! He did the thing! We won! Clap! Cheer! Something!

I also didn’t bring my notebook to write down my immediate thoughts, so I’m going to basically give a play by play as best as I can. Mostly memories of the first showing, as I’m sure you guys would prefer. On with the review!

So the movie starts immediately with the death of the Barton family. The logo hasn’t even started, but here we go! Death and pain await us. 

Once the logo starts, we switch to Tony and Nebula on the...ship. I kinda wanna say Millennium Falcon, but that’s not even close to accurate. *googles* The Benatar. ...yeah, I’m not calling it that. Anyway, Tony’s teaching her how to play tabletop football, and it’s adorable. He’s teaching her how to be softer and she’s letting him eat the last food and he’s fixing the ship and she’s fixing his body and it’s...it’s just so nice. I mean, we have Tony doing a voice over of how they’re going to die which isn’t as nice, but their bond at being the last ones on Titan is just...I love it. We’re barely 5 minutes in and I’m about to cry.

And then we get a Carol ex Machina. Yay? Anyway, they get back to Earth (side note: the end scene of CM was apparently not in this movie, but it probably got cut due to time constraints) and Steve is the first one there. He’s the first one to Tony, the first one to try and help him, the first to hear his regrets, the first to offer sympathy and I don’t ship Stoney, but DANG! That’s how you do it! And then Pepper is there and she and Tony are kissing and hugging and it’s adorable even though we just cut out Steve and he looks a little awkward.

Cut to inside and the death toll rolling and climbing and Tony loses it. He’s still mad at Cap for Civil War. Still pissed about how everyone jumped down his throat for Ultron when he was doing his damnedest to prevent this exact situation where everyone died. And like...no. I still disagree with your idea that it was better to put a “suit of armor” around the world than protect everyone’s “precious freedoms,” but I understand what you’re saying. Dad didn’t back up Mom and now our kids have been murdered by a drive-by hitman. I get it. I’m still not supporting you, but I understand why you’re pissed. 

But, Nebula knows where the purple cockroach scuttled off to and Carol is a fucking tank, so let’s go. But the stones have already been destroyed. ...I’m sure this will have no lasting consequences, especially since the Ancient One said “these things create our understanding of time, reality, space. if you take one away...you risk catastrophic disaster and alternate timelines.” BUT NOW THEY’RE ALL GONE because some fuck boy decided to play with things he didn’t understand to “correct” a problem he didn’t understand and had no business messing with. Thor cuts off the gauntlet and then his head before walking off into an increasingly blurry image and we roll the title. 

FIVE. YEARS. LATER.

Steve’s leading a support group (ONE GUY SAYS THE WORD MAN INSTEAD OF WOMAN ABOUT HIS DATE SO NOW WE HAVE LGBT REPRESENTATION YAAAAYYYY! fuck this) and Natasha’s leading the remaining Avengers. Carol says “I’m busy dealing with other worlds besides Earth, so piece out bitches.” Rocket and Nebula...I’m assuming are doing the same thing. It’s not really clear. Okoye is...here for some reason to say there’s an earthquake, but there’s nothing we can do. Um...rescue teams? We can’t do anything about the earthquake, but if you’re reporting it, I’m sure it caused some mild damage or something? No? You’re useless. Rhodey reports that a cartel in Mexico has been slaughtered by Clint and we’re not supposed to be okay with that. I mean, wouldn’t be the first time he was a bad guy, and he’s more anti-hero/rogue vigilante than bad guy, but you do you.

Then Steve comes in, sees Nat trying not to sob because Clint’s bad and the world is bad and she’s stressed, and tries to cheer her up. But, DING DONG! Scott’s not dead. See, a rat in San Francisco pushed the right button and spit Scott back out into a storage area. After walking home with a little red wagon and finding Cassie, now age 13-15, and getting the 411 on the last 5 years, he got the La Cucaracha van out of storage and drove it all the way to upstate New York. So now he’s jittery and weird (probably because he spent 5 years hours in the quantum realm and he went a little cuckoo) and saying they should try time travel to get the stones back so they can undo what Thanos did. 

It’s just crazy enough to work. LET’S ASK TONY! Who has a child to show that time has passed. The daughter is wearing an iron mask that Tony says is for “mom” so we aren’t confused when Rescue shows up later. Not that anyone would know her name is Rescue outside of comic book fans, but who cares because Tony is an adorable father. But then the plot shows up and says “get in, loser, we’re going time heisting.” Tony’s all like...you’re kidding, right? And so is the audience, but weirder things have happened in comics and Tony always loved a dramatic entrance, so whatever.

Then we have Professor Hulk, as he is apparently called. And...in my opinion, this is the worst scene in the movie. We’re in a diner and the food is in bowls bigger than my head and Professor Hulk gets talked into helping with the time heist. Sure, fine, we need the plot to move forward. We have a nice explanation how Hulk and Banner are one and it’s Hulk’s body with Banner’s brains because they did some soul searching and are better now. That’s nice. I like that. That is a good part of this scene. But then we have some weird kids taking a picture with Hulk/Banner (you know what, I’m just going to use whichever one I want and you can fight me) and Scott says, “do you want one with me? I’m Ant-Man.” And thus begins the longest 5 minutes of the entire movie. It might not even be that long, but it actually feels a little longer. The kids don’t want a picture because they’re Hulk fans instead of Ant-Man fans. That’s fine, that happens. And they don’t know who he is, which...this is New York and he’s over in San Francisco. Plus, no one sees Ant-Man. Giant-Man/Goliath? Sure. But not Ant-Man. And Scott sees it and immediately retracts his offer to keep it from being weird. But Hulk, to be nice, pushes the issue, which makes it weird. And I’m like, if you want to push it, ask if they want Cap’s or Black Widow’s? But no, we have to have the kids smiling but clearly not wanting too and Scott seeing that and being a little hurt but understanding he’s not an A-lister and Bruce being “kind” but about as intelligent as Hulk. We have time for this? The movie is over 3 hours long? We kept this? Why? Did test audiences love it? Cut it!

And back to Tony who shows us a picture of him and Peter goofing off (don’t make me cry yet, save it for the hug or the Simba/Mufasa moment) and thinks that maybe he can have hope again. We don’t know how long he works on it, he just says “one last time before bed and I shut it all down.” But then...“SHIT!” “shit.” Duh! Knew that was coming. Kids say the shittiest things. But it’s okay because she loves him 3000. That’s going to be a knife wound that won’t heal anytime soon. Anyway, he tells Pepper that he figured out time travel. Because that’s something you can just do. And because he knows that if he continues down this path, he’ll probably unretire again. He won’t stop helping because he can’t stop and he doesn’t want to stop. He’ll become Iron Man again. And Pepper says, “but will you be able to rest?” And, if you guys remember back in IM3 how Tony couldn’t sleep? It would probably be like that. It might not be visions of Thanos’s ship, it would probably be Peter asking why he couldn’t come home. So...yeah, mull on that for a bit. 

The next day, Banner, Steve and Nat test out time travel on Scott. But he becomes a kid, an old man, and a baby because “instead of pushing Lang through time, you essentially pushed time through Lang.” Also, Tony’s here! He got a little “I told you so” moment, but he and Steve are definitely on better grounds than the last time we saw them. (Tony’s porch doesn’t count because that was mostly Tony and Scott with a little bit from Steve to say “pretty please with a cherry on top?”) And then Tony asks if we’re getting the whole team.

Rocket and Nebula show up in the ship and blast away the insides of Scott’s taco. “Rhodey, be careful on reentry, there’s an idiot in the landing zone.” *CLANK* *Scott drops the taco shell in fear* “Sup, Regular-Sized Man?” It’s so funny followed by Hulk sharing two tacos with Scott to replace his. Adorable. Anyway, so Hulk and Rocket go to pick up Thor in New Asgard. No idea where this is. I think it was in Kansas originally, but Rocket, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore. Looks more like coastal Maine or something. We meet up with Valkyrie who informs us that Thor is doing a bang-up job leading his Asgardian subjects in their new home. Also that she’s weirded out by Professor Hulk, which is fair. Me too, although I can look at him while my roommate said she couldn’t, but she’s a weirdo so whatever. 

Anyway, Thor’s holed up in his house with Korg and Miek playing Fortnight and Thor threatens a child for being an ass. By the way, Thor’s fat now. Yeah, after watching everyone he ever loved die plus failing to prevent the deaths of quadrillions, he’s wallowing in a drunken stupor and eating carbs. It’s played for laughs, but like, sheesh. It’s pretty rough. This is Thor! A literal god! This is the guy who’s been stabbed multiple times by his brother and continues to love and care for him. He can bounce back from anything...right? Hulk tries to convince him to come back, but he doesn’t consider it until Rocket says they have beer on the ship.

Now to pick up Hawkeye. To Tokyo we go! Hawkeye Ronin is chasing this guy who’s probably Yakuza or some other mafia guy. Clint kills him, which is kinda cool in a visual and choreographic sense, but not super profound. Nat says we might be able to bring your fam back. “Don’t give me hope.” “I wish I could’ve given it to you sooner.” And now we test the time travel thing. Clint goes home (space=check) and grabs his sons’ baseball mitt before hearing the voice of his daughter (time=check) and being pulled back with the mitt still in hand (probably accidental, but return with objects=check). Now we figure out when. Previously on Thor the Dark World...on Guardians of the Galaxy...on Infinity War...on Avengers...on Doctor Strange: Infinity Stone montage. This montage marks the start of hour 2. We are now getting interesting. 

Cap, Scott and Tony to Avengers with Bruce tagging along for five seconds. Thor and Rocket to Thor: The Dark World. Nebula and Rhodey to Guardians and Clint and Nat to Infinity War, but at the same time as Guardians. Natalie Portman’s back and being stalked by a rabbit. Rene Russo’s back and being stalked by fat!Thor. Tilda Swinton’s back and explaining magic to Bruce. Robert Redford is back and being an ass to past!Tony while present!Tony tells Scott “lightly kill me.” Come and Get Your Love is back and cutting out so we can laugh at Chris Pratt. Hugo Weaving is back and just as unhelpful as ever. That one shot of Avengers is back and showing up the framing of this movie. (seriously, I want a good shot of A-force or all of the “avengers.” Apparently the Russo’s don’t understand screenshots.) Also, discussion of America’s ass is a thing (I love it) and MCU!Cap quotes Comics!Cap by saying “Hang glider” (I hate it.) But apparently Tony forgot about Hulk’s mini-freak out over the stairs (should’ve let one of the fliers go down the stairs instead of Hulk) so in the middle of their heist, the case flies open, Loki grabs the tessaract and gets the heck out of Dodge. ...I’m sure it’s fine.

Now Steve and Tony go back even further STAN LEE CAMEO! RIP! and Scott, being new here, doesn’t understand that Mom and Dad are finally on the same page and now is when you just sit back and watch in awe as they do their thing better than you ever could. So they go back to 1971 and Steve sees Peggy and Tony runs into Howard. We’ve switched to old Howard, not the one from First Avenger/the Agent Carter series. And Tony and Howard bond over being dads (he was still shitty. Just because he wasn’t horrible all the time doesn’t excuse his emotional and [at least in the comics] physical abuse) while Steve dreams for 5 seconds before tricking Michael Douglas out of his office to grab more Pym Particles for them to get home. 

Meanwhile, Nat and Clint fight on a cliff while Red Skull sits back eating popcorn or some shit. Why are they fighting? Well, who’s going to die, of course. Because Clint feels guilty over becoming a vigilante and Nat has nothing else to live for? Okay, pros? Clint has a fam. Nat is managing the Avengers. Cons? Clint went a little crazy for a couple years, but he was doing what he thought was helping, so...??? Nat has red in her ledger, but she’s been trying to wipe it out since day one, so...? They basically do that thing where one person gets up and the other person trips them as they go by. Eventually Nat dies and it’s pretty sad. But...now we have all the stones! Yay?

Oh, and Thor and mom had a heart-to-heart where Frigga said “you’re a failure and that’s okay because we all fail. Now, look on the bright side, find your hope, and start eating better.” Then Thor grabbed Mjolnir (I’m sure there were no implications there, unless Cap gave it back with the Aether) and was super happy because he was still worthy. Even fat and a failure, he’s still worthy of wielding Mjolnir. So sweet. So nice. Anyway, it’s rabbit season duck season rabbit season duck season and Rocket and Thor skedaddle and meet up with everyone else at the same time, but without Nat. They mourn, but Thor says “knock it off, she’s not dead.” Which, considering how many times Loki’s died plus he’s wielding his destroyed hammer with the destroyed Infinity Stones ...yeah, that’s fair. But “she can’t come back” because her contract’s up and she doesn’t wanna.

And now we enter hour 3! The best part, in my opinion. We have the stones. Tony’s made an Iron Gauntlet to hold them. Thor wants to do it so he can finally feel useful and like he did something right, but Tony won’t let him because he’s not in the right mindset. Fair, Thor’s probably still drunk as a skunk, but the guy needs a win. You should understand that, Tony. Hulk says “I’ll do it cuz I’m bigger than you, and Thanos was big and his arm got turned into a chicken wing, extra crispy.” So he puts on the Iron Gauntlet and screams in agony. That’s what happens when you use subpar materials. Probably should’ve gone to Nidavilir instead of using Earth tech, but whatever. Hulk snaps and then birds are singing and Mrs. Barton is calling her husband like...where did you go and where’s all the food? We probably won.

But, uh oh, apparently Nebula has a network (...sure?) and they forgot to put her on airplane mode when she went back to 2014. So the broadband was crowded and Nebula kept making the dial-up sound. Thanos took present!Nebula in 2014 on his ship and past!Nebula takes her gold plating and puts them on top of her blue plating (...no, but whatever) and she goes back to the future instead of present!Nebula. Now that past!Nebula and her continued obsession with getting daddy’s approval are in the future, she can bring the entirety of Thanos’s ship with her. I guess Thanos replicated the Pym Particle? Or Maw did? Whatever, we need a final battle, so here we go.

Just as Clint is gaining hope and Scott’s saying “ooh pretty” to the birds and Tony’s trying to keep Hulks arm from turning grey, Thanos says “surprise, muddafucka,” and drops a single nuke. Rhodey, Rocket and Hulk are all trapped together with rising water and Hulk keeping the building off of them with one arm. Scott’s running as fast as his little legs will carry him to help, although it’s probably good that he’s so small in the continually collapsing building. Clint has the Iron Gauntlet and is running away from those ugly things from Infinity War. You know, the Mieks that kill themselves at the Wakandan border? Yeah, gross. And Tony is joking with Steve and it’s nice even in this scary time. Thor suits up with a cool braided beard, Thanos says “I’ve changed my mind. Forget wiping out half, let’s start from scratch,” and it’s time to start fighting for another 45-50 minutes.

Thor, Steve and Tony go at it. Combo moves and team ups and Thanos is getting beat up, but not going down. Then he throws Iron Man away. He flicks Cap off of him. He grabs Stormbreaker and starts to do the thing that Thor does to his future self last movie. And a girl in the audience just starts shouting, “Come on, Thor! Come on, Thor!” And internally I’m right there with her, but then THE AUDIENCE. LOSES. THEIR. SHIT!!!! I know there were more people screaming than just me, but I probably contributed about 50% of the collective volume. STEVE ROGERS IS WIELDING MJOLNIR! YES! We’ve been waiting for that since Ultron! Probably my favorite part of the whole movie. I’m totally going to find that video on YouTube and save it for myself because FUCK YEAH! 

Meanwhile, Hawkeye has been playing keep away with the evil Mieks and past!Nebula shows up to grab the Iron Gauntlet. Present!Nebula convinces past!Gamora they’re on the same side and we can kill Thanos. They start by saving Hawkeye from past!Nebula and kill her. ...I’m sure it’s fine. 

Thanos kicks America’s ass. He calls down the 4 uglies we killed last movie plus more armies. I guess his ship was there on Earth while he was dicking around on Titan? Otherwise, how did the the triangle ships get to Wakanda? Whatever. We have a gorgeous shot of Cap in the high ground backed by white walking down to face Thanos with the low ground backed by darkness. And then...“Hey Cap...Cap, it’s Sam. Do you copy?...On your left.” And a magic wormhole opens up and Okoye, T’Challa and Shuri all walk through and nod at Steve for a whole minute before Sam flies through. And then, all the circles show up and everybody walks through. Valkyrie on her horse; Spidey thwiping behind the Guardians; Wong and his sorcerers; Wasp and Bucky; Scott growing big and saving Hulk, Rhodey and Rocket; it’s a who’s who of the MCU. “Is that everyone?” “You want more?!” (yeah, actually. Where are my Defenders?) We’re all eating it up. Clapping and cheering and then Cap raises Mjolnir and says, “AVENGERS...assemble” and they charge and the audience goes wild. I personally think the assemble shouldn’t have been so quiet. Like, how did they hear him and know to charge? But it’s fine. I don’t care. KICK THE ANNOYING GRAPE’S BUTT! And they do.

In between the fighting, we get several nice moments and call backs. Rocket and Bucky fighting side by side again, although Rocket doesn’t make a prosthetic joke. Scott and Hope start up La Cucaracha van to take the stones back in time and Hope calls Steve “Cap,” because “that’s what we call him. If you’re a friend.” Iron Man and Rescue are fighting back to back and I love this power couple so much. Doctor Strange gets sidelined taking care of a burst damn (guess he’s too powerful and we can’t have him showing up the og Avengers) but Tony’s like “Is this the one where we win?” Strange is all “if I tell you what I wished on the birthday candle, it won’t come true,” which I guess is as good an explanation as any. Hawkeye’s getting overwhelmed and T’Challa says, “Clint, give it to me,” because he doesn’t know his name is Hawkeye since he introduced himself as “We haven’t met. I’m Clint.” “I don’t care.” Spidey takes it and tells Karen to “turn on Instant Kill” because this is a time where it definitely qualifies. He then gets rescued by Mjolnir and Cap telling him “Hey, Queens, head’s up,” which is adorable. And then Tony hugs Peter because he loves him but also “That’s not a hug, I’m just getting the door for you. We’re not there yet.” Past!Gamora saving Quill and when he sees her and caresses her, she knees him in the balls. “Seriously? Him,” she asks. Present!Nebula replies, “It was either him or a tree,” which is fair. Drax isn’t interested, she’s like his murderous little sister and Rocket is...no. We’re having so much fun.

Wanda shows up in front of past!Thanos and says “You’ve taken everything from me.” “I don’t even know you,” which is fair. But then she’s like, “You will.” And dang! If that’s not a badass line, I don’t know what is! She and he go at it and it’s awesome and then he’s pressing down on her, but she smiles and destroys half of the dual sword, making him effectively fucked. And she’s got him. He’s a goner, until he cheats again. He cheated with Vision and he cheats here. So what’s important is while Iron Man or Thor or Captain America are super powerful, Thanos can easily take them on in hand-to-hand combat. But Scarlett Witch? She’s too awesome! He can’t beat her playing fair! The cheating prune has to call for air support to get her off of him. Screw everyone and everything else, get this powerful witch off! And it works, but luckily, the sorcerers put up shields to protect people from the falling nukes. And then...they stop and point up...oooooh BABY! LET’S GO! I mean, it’s totally a Carol ex Machina, but I love seeing her just tank everything. 

She takes out the ship, allowing everyone a second to breathe and Peter to slightly uncurl and hold the Iron Gauntlet. “Hey, I’m Peter Parker.” Sweety! Use your made-up name! “Hey, Peter Parker, you got something for me?” And it’s confident and badass, but you know what’s even more badass? FUCKING A-FORCE! “Don’t worry. She has help.” FUCK YEAH! Every single female in the MCU (minus Widow)! I love it so much. I wish we could’ve had a single frame where all of the ladies are visible, but it was still so awesome. And Captain Marvel is charging towards La Cucaracha van and is about to win until the purple toad throws the other half of his big sword into the back of the van. Jerk. Doctor Strange takes a hand away from dealing with the water (which...isn’t doing anything. Yay?) to tell Tony, “1.”

Now we get to play keep away on a smaller stage. Thanos vs Carol is badass. She doesn’t even flinch when he headbutts her. So fucking awesome. But then he cheats and pulls out the power stone (that hurts to hold but not the blue stone in infinity war? okay) to punch her. That does it and takes her out, then Thor and Cap try and team up but he throws them off and give Steve a massive headache. He puts on the glove and is about to snap his fingers--but Tony swoops in at the last second. And we know he’s no match. We’ve seen him lose to the purple gorilla twice! So what’s he gonna, oh. Nanotechnology to the rescue. Unfortunately, the suit was not designed to hold 6 Infinity Stones, so while Tony stays conscious enough to spout a great one-liner “And I...am...Iron Man,” and snap his fingers, that’s it. Thanos and his entire army are dust. ...I’m sure it’s fine. Like, get fucked, but...time travel? Anyway, Tony is...he’s done. He’s only human. Thanos is...a big alien. Hulk is...a big monster. Stark is...Iron Man. It’s at this point my roommate is sobbing into my arm. And I can hear sniffles in the theater until the end of the movie. 

Rhodey finds Tony first, and I thought he was already dead, not going to lie. Tony can’t do anything. He can’t move, blinking isn’t happening, his eyes are very unfocused. One might assume he was dead. But then Peter comes in and, oh! If you weren’t already crying, now we have Peter telling Tony “we won” like Steve did all those years ago. But now it’s...it feels like Simba at the death of Mufasa. “HEEEEEELP! SOMEBODY! Anybody. Help.” And so Pepper comes to the Rescue (sorry, you’re right, not the time) and tells him, “it’s okay. We’ll be okay. You can rest now.” I don’t know if “we” is Pepper and Morgan, the Avengers, Earth/the galaxy, or the MCU, but man! This thing that Iron Man started 11 years ago is...it’s come into it’s own. And saying goodbye to Tony Stark, the man who’s been in almost as many MCU movies as Stan Lee, to RDJ, the man who is Tony Stark in his early trials and path to redemption, to Iron Man, the superhero who gave us hope in a world of bad Marvel movies, is hard. 

And then we have a funeral because we really needed it. Tony gets a last speech of “if I die, I still love you.” WE LOVE YOU 3000! And then we get everyone standing around for the funeral for Tony and no one else. (Black Widow? Gamora? Loki? No? Why not?) Pepper lays down a wreath with the “Proof that Tony Stark has a Heart” and we have a tracking shot of pain. Pepper, Happy, Morgan and Steve. Ant-Mans and Wasps. Gaurdians of the Galaxy minus Gamora. T’Challa, Okoye and Shuri. The Barton Family. Bucky, Falcon and Wanda. THAT KID FROM IM3! Maria Hill and Gen. Ross. Captain Marvel. And then Nicholas J. Fury with Coulson standing behind him. And Morgan wants cheeseburgers! And Happy’s gonna give them to her!!!!! DON’T MAKE ME CRY AT CHEESEBURGERS, RUSSOS! 

Thor gives Valkyrie kingship over New Asgard (which is awesome) and dicks off with the Guardians. Barton retires, for good this time. And Cap’s going back in time to put all the stones back. I don’t know if that means the stones are still gone or back or what because...The Ancient One said something about we need all six to exist or catastrophe, but Thanos is an idiot so...idk. Anyway, Cap goes and gives the stones back and then decides to live the rest of his life with Peggy Carter because apparently he’s still not over her. I thought he kinda was. He started dating Sharon or something, right? You know what, it’s cute and adorable. Anyway, Steve’s old now and passes on a fixed shield to Sam. Bucky’s perfectly okay with it, and I am too. Captain Falcon and Bucky? I like it. Might not be the dynamic duo that Captain America and Bucky were, but still good. And then the credits roll and the og Avengers sign their names and we’re all clapping and cheering and crying and it’s so beautiful.

This movie...you know. If you’re reading this, you’ve already seen the movie, so you know. You know how good it is. It’s not perfect. The beginning is slow, some of the jokes don’t land and some people don’t like where the Russos took certain characters. “Steve shouldn’t have gone to live with Peggy!” “How dare they kill off Tony!” “They fridged Natasha! It should’ve been Clint!” “I don’t like that they made Thor a joke! FAT PEOPLE AREN’T FUNNY EVER!” “Ronin was stupid!” “I couldn’t look at Hulk!” “Captain Marvel needed more screen time!” “Captain Marvel had too much screen time!” “TIME TRAVEL!” SHUT UP! 

Look, the movie isn’t perfect, but if you want to constantly bitch about this movie, go watch CinemaSins. This movie is great. Not perfect, but great. It is epic. It is grand. It is a finale for the ages. We the fans have seen the movies, made the fanfiction, bought the merch and just enjoyed the heck out of this massive franchise for the past 11 years. We wanted an ending of monumental proportions and that’s what we got. I’m not going to defend their take on how Thor was funny because he was fat. I’m not going to say Steve should or shouldn’t have married Peggy. I’m not going to say who should have died or not died. I am at peace. Because this is a great movie. Not a good one, a great one. It ties up so many plot points and character arcs from Iron Man and brings it back for us to enjoy. We love this movie because they loved us. And if you disagreed with something, Archive of Our Own is always taking new fanfic. We’ll read it and enjoy it, but right now, I want to enjoy a cup of cocoa to drown my sorrows in. This has been a journey of epic proportions, but my tears are still coming and I’d like to read some happy fanfic. I’ll see you on the flip side, nerds, for a new live blogging series. Later.

[avengerdragoness]

Broken Angels [Jason Todd x Reader]

This is Part 1​ - Part 2

A/n: Hey loves! So this is part 1 to my collab with @batfamily-imagines!! We had a really good time writing this and I hope you guys love it!!

Warnings: Cheating, Vulgar language _____

It had been about a month since you last saw Jason. Tim needed your help with a mission with the Titans and there wasn’t an exact return date. You had just gotten back to the cave with Tim and felt like a zombie. Much like him, you pulled a few all nighters, living off coffee, and now looked forward to getting home to cuddle up to Jason in your own bed.

Before leaving Bruce told you Jason should be home since he took patrol off that night, for reasons he didn’t share with the rest of the Wayne household. Which wasn’t strange, Jason often didn’t tell them of his escapades when he’s on his own. However you got your routine ‘Goodnight Doll, I love you.’ along with whatever he had done that day. Which led you to believe he was already asleep. Having been on a plane when he sent it. You decided to not answer incase he was knocked out already and to give him a bit of a surprise.

Tiredly you leaned against the railing in the elevator, riding it to your floor where your shared apartment with Jason was. Hearing the light ding from the speaker, you forced yourself off the wall and trudged to your door. Sticking the key in the lock you quickly flicked it to the side and pushed the door open. Dropping your duffle in the hallway and kicking off your boots. Making your way further in the apartment you looked around a bit confused. The light in the living room was on, an empty bottle of whiskey sitting on the coffee table.

Brows knitting in confusion you walked over and picked it up. Strangely it was his more expensive brand, something he only drank on special occasions or with you. “Hm” A short hum escaped your throat before you heard a sound that made your blood run as cold as the arctic. Faintly you heard someone gasp out ‘Jason’ in the bedroom. The door was closed, a small amount of light filtering through the crack at the bottom of it. Cautiously you approached the door, ear pressing against it. Jason’s grunts could be heard along with more gasps. Clenching your jaw, you threw the door open. “What the fuck is going on?!”

Jason immediately pushed away from the blonde currently writhing underneath him. “[F/n]!? It-it’s not what it looks like!” That made you laugh, “Not what it looks like? WHAT THE FUCK ELSE COULD THIS BE JASON?! You literally just pulled your cock out of her!” You screamed and the woman had now pulled the blankets over her. “[F/n], doll, I can explain.” He stood up to approach you. The woman had gotten up too and threw on the closest thing to her, which happened to be Jason’s shirt. That made your blood boil more.

“Jason, is this your girlfriend?” She asked confusedly. “No I’m fucking Santa, what do you think?” You spat at the woman. She shrunk under your hard glare. “Why are you still here? Beat it!” You growled and she quickly pulled on her jeans and ran out of the apartment.

Jason had pulled on his sweatpants too. “Please let me explain.” You scoffed, “Let's see you explain your way out of this one Todd” Crossing your arms, cheek caught in your teeth as you bit back tears. “It’s just, I was drunk and you were gone. I was hot and bothered and I couldn’t do for myself what someone else could.”

“So, your answer is to cheat on me?!” Yelling at him before shaking your head. “You don’t look that drunk now either Jason.”

He sighed, “I-I’m not, well not bad. But I was the first time” He said but not meaning too. Your jaw dropped before you walked up and pushed him. “First time?!”

“What? Shit! [F/n] she just, she kept, I was. I was lonely.” He defended but after hearing that your hand came stinging across his face. Not holding back your tears anymore. “You were lonely?! So you go and screw some slut, more than once?! Not just some drunk mistake?! While I was out for a month doing a favor for your brother! You, ugh!” Turning away you stomped into your room and started throwing your things into a suitcase.

Jason came after you, “What are you doing?!” You glared at him. “You expect me to stay?! I can’t even look at you Jason.” “[F/n] please” He stepped over and went to hold your hand but you recoiled away from him. “Don’t! Touch me! Don’t look at me! Don’t even think about me!” Slamming your suitcase closed. “You’re dead to me Jason Todd.” Picking up the suitcase you stormed out of the room, grabbing the duffle from the hallway and out the front door. Never looking back once.

The first thing you did was get a one way ticket out of Gotham. Ending up in Star City at some point. You had a childhood friend there, but you had to be sure to avoid Oliver, Dinah, and Roy. Walking along the road, you passed an alleyway and quickly got pulled into it and thrown against the brick wall. The wind was knocked out of you from the impact. Looking up you saw Deathstroke standing there, eye-patched glory and all.

“What do you want Slade?” Growling while pushing yourself off the filthy concrete of the alley. Holding your side where you were sure a rib had bruised. He chuckled, “Not as agile as we used to be huh girly?”

You rolled your eyes, “Well it’s been a long few days. What are you doing here?” He shrugged, “A proposal. I heard the little revived birdboy broke your heart.” You went to walk away, “Not interested.” Before exiting the alley he pulled you back and pinned you to the wall. “You know you want to get back at Red Hood for the pain he caused you. [s/h/n] wouldn’t have disappeared if he didn’t. I hear he’s still seeing the girl he cheated on you with.” Yanking your arm away from him you stood your ground, “And where’d you hear that?” Growling at him. “I have friends in Gotham, I can get the information I need.”

You turned away from him, and weighed your options. You couldn’t be sure if he was telling the truth, was Jason actually still sleeping with her? The girl he broke your heart with? Growling you kicked a nearby dumpster, leaving a sizable dent. “Fine, what’s your proposal?”

Slade smirked to himself, “Help me bring some chaos to Gotham. Teach that deadbeat ex-boyfriend of yours a lesson or two. You did a whole lot of good as a hero. Think of what you could do as a villain, no rules, no boundaries. Just the luck of the draw.”

Thinking for a moment you turned and faced him, looking up at him slightly. “What have I got to do.” Slade smirked before placing a hand on your shoulder. “Just do as I say, love.”

Two Month’s Later

Jason had cut all ties with the woman he cheated on you with. She didn’t mean anything to him, in fact he still wasn’t sure what made him even look in her direction. You were everything to him. Strong, beautiful, kind, faithful, all around amazing. But he just had to screw up the best thing he had.

Out on patrol he stood on the edge of a building. He tried to keep his mind off you, off you missing from his side on patrols. How you’d flirt with each other when taking out thugs. Fuck, does he miss you. Watching the skyline he saw a shadow sprint across his field of vision. Immediately he sprung to follow it. He’d been tracking this shadow for a little over a month and a half. Over that time they had stolen multiple pieces of high tech equipment and weaponry. Still anyone in the family had yet to get eyes on them. Whoever they are, they’re a ghost. Barely making a sound and barely seen.

He trailed the figure to a warehouse, watching as they soundlessly slipped through a skylight. Jason dropped down to look inside a side window, seeing the person completely gone. “Fuck” He whispered before carefully opening the window and sneaking in behind some crates. Looking around he saw the warehouse empty, even his infrared caught zero heat signatures.

Walking further into the warehouse, Jason looked into some crates, finding them empty. “Why would they come here?” Questioning to himself. All of a sudden he heard fast footsteps and when he turned to the sound he felt an impact come into contact and crack his helmet. The punch threw him to the ground. He groaned a little before looking up to see a shadowy figure. He could make out a black and grey suit with dark [f/c] accents. A hood and mask kept their features hidden. Except he could make out a pair of [e/c] eyes under the hood. There was something familiar about this person, he had some sort of attraction to them.

‘No it couldn’t be’ He thought from his place on the ground. Pushing himself up he faced the shadow of a person. “Who are you?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know” A distorted voice came from the figure. But he could tell it was female. “Got a cold?” He bantered while walking around the figure. “Charming as always….Jason.” He froze in his tracks, drawing a gun he pointed it at the person’s head. “How do you know that?!” His voice a low growl.

The figure looked at him from the side. “You told me Red.” They tilted their head to the side to get a better look of him. “You wouldn’t forget the person who’s heart you shattered would you?”

Jason’s breath caught in his throat. Now he knows why they seem so familiar. “[F/n]?” He breathed out. “Ding ding ding” You said before launching at him and quickly disarming him, kneeing him in the chin. Knocking him on his back. He felt a pinch and the cold metal of a needle enter his skin. His vision got blurry as he watched you stand over him. “Nice work” An all too familiar voice said. “I had a good teacher” You answered. The last thing Jason saw was Slade come into his field of vision before he was consumed by darkness.

[mygiantesslove]

Family Punishment by Glazer

Chapter 5: Parental Terror

               Adam dragged his tongue across a small scuff on his mother’s enormous leather loafer.  After his brother and sister had forced him to eat the stepped on fry, his mom had returned to the kitchen and grabbed him up, taking him to the master bedroom, his parents’ room.  She had immediately put him to work cleaning the scuffs off of her loafers, just one of the many pairs of shoes she wore to work.  He had asked her how she expected him to clean her shoes and she had told him she was sure the shoes just needed “a little spit.”  Adam had got the hint of what she had expected him to do.  At least the taste of leather was beginning to mask the horrid taste of the fry.

           Alyssa and Eric had forced him to choke down the entire fry.  It had tasted awful and with every bite, he wanted to vomit.  He knew, however, if he had vomited that he would only be punished even more severely.  This was the only thing that kept the fry down as he ate it.  He was forced to endure his siblings’ laughter and taunts as the mocked him while he ate.  The fry had been dirty and had some pieces of fuzz stuck to it.  Most of the filth was unseen b the human eye but at Adam’s size, he didn’t miss a thing.  It was the most disgusting thing he had ever had to do.

           “I can’t believe that he ate the whole thing.”  Adam’s father, Tom said.  Adam’s parents were currently laying on their gigantic king sized bed watching TV.  Adam had considered running as his parents couldn’t currently see him but knew there was no way he could hope to hide forever.  Instead, he simply licked his mom’s loafer.  Adam, for the most part, had blocked out their conversation as it didn’t really interest him but this piqued his interest.

           “I know.  I thought for sure he would pass up on it but I guess he was hungrier than we thought.”  Adam’s mom replied.  “I guess being a shrunken little shit is more tiring than I thought.”  Tom chuckled and Jennifer laughed.  Adam heard the bed creak and watched his giant father’s legs and feet swing down before the giant stood up off the bed.

           Tom’s huge feet compressed the carpet fibers beneath them as he walked over to the loafers where Adam was.  As he approached, the ground shook and Adam trembled as he craned his neck and stared up at the titan.  Tom was wearing a t-shirt and athletic shorts and his massive bare feet dominated Adam’s view as he looked back down.  Adam backed away from the monstrous feet as the smell of feet wafted over him.

           “Don’t be scared, little man.  I won’t accidentally step on you like I did your little dinner.”  Tom chuckled.  “Hey!  You better not be messing with him.  He’s supposed to be cleaning my loafers.”  Jennifer said from still on the bed.  ‘Don’t worry, babe.  He’ll still clean your loafers.  I’m just having a little fun.”  The giant then turned back towards Adam and grinned as he looked down at him.

           “I know you ate the whole fry in the kitchen but I couldn’t help but think of how I may have still had some crumbs of it stuck to my foot.  I know your mother would hate it if I was dragging crumbs through the house.”  As Tom said this, he began to raise up his foot and bring it over Adam.  Adam looked up at the massive foot as it hovered over him.  His father’s foot was larger than his mother’s and siblings as his father had the largest feet in the family.  The sole was a bit reddened with bits of fuzz and dirt stuck to the broad sole.  Adam trembled as stood in its shadow.

           “Are there any crumbs still stuck to my foot?”  The giant man said before slightly lowering his foot down towards Adam.  Adam cried out and started to run, hopelessly trying to escape from the shadow of the giant foot.  The foot didn’t fall as Adam expected but instead followed him.  No matter how much Adam ran, the foot stayed above him.  Tom didn’t have to move his foot much to keep Adam beneath it.  It wasn’t like Adam could even run that fast at his one-inch height.

           “Maybe you need a closer look,”  Tom said, grinning as he began to lower his foot.  Adam screamed as he saw the foot becoming larger as it descended.  He did not want to be stepped on by his dad.  Adam ran as fast as he could while the foot slowly came down.  The smell of feet intensified and Adam ran harder.  Adam saw he was nearing the edge of the shadow and looked up to see large toes above him.  With a final burst of speed, Adam neared the edge of the shadow and dove.  The foot crashed down behind with a thud and a gust of wind washed over Adam.

           Tom chuckled as he saw Adam struggling to stand.  Adam realized that he was just taunting him.  If he had wanted to step on him, he could’ve done it without even thinking about it.  “What are you doing over there?”  Jennifer said.  The TV went mute and Adam heard the bed creak and watched as his mother stood up and began to walk.  Her massive tan feet shook the ground as she closed in, the carpet compressing beneath her with each step.  She stopped almost on top of Adam and stared down at him.  Adam was now between his parents’ enormous feet as they towered over him.

           “Aren’t you supposed to be cleaning my loafers, little man?”  Jennifer said condescendingly.  Adam craned his neck as he looked up at the towering woman standing with her hands on her hips.  She was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of athletic short shorts that revealed her tan, toned thighs.  “I’m sorry, mom!  Dad almost just stepped on me!” Adam yelled up.  “Step on you?  All I did was ask you to make sure my foot was free of any crumbs from YOUR dinner.”  Tom said as Jennifer giggled.

           The two titans than looked at each other and as they did, Adam began to run towards the bed.  He didn’t get very far before Jennifer’s massive tan foot slammed down in front of him, knocking him off his feet.  “Where do you think you’re going?”  She boomed as she stared down at him.  Adam could smell the musky, feet stink.  Adam shakily got to his feet and turned but found his dad’s enormous foot slamming down behind him.  “I think he thought he could get away while we weren’t looking.  Too bad he forgot he’s tiny.”  Tom smirked.  Adam cowered between their massive feet as the stared down at him.

Adam turned back towards his mom’s feet but saw that there was only one foot on the ground.  He looked up and saw her other foot, raised and moving over him.  Adam raised his arms over his head and screamed as the foot came down.  There was a boom and Adam was knocked off his feet as his mom’s foot landed inches away from him.  His parents’ booming laughter taunted him as he pulled himself up slowly.  “I think he thought you were going to stomp him.”  Tom laughed.  “Next time maybe I will.”  Jennifer laughed.  Tom grinned before lifting his foot up.  “You better run fast, bug.”

           Adam turned and began to run, running parallel to his mom’s large foot.  He was cast in shadow and looked up to see his dad’s foot hovering above him.  He screamed as the foot came crashing down.  Adam was caught beneath the foot as it crashed down on his back while he ran.  Adam felt pain all over as the foot crushed him, smothering beneath tons of flesh.  Adam’s face and the front of his body were pressed into the carpet as the foot threatened to pop him.

           The immense weight of father made his entire body screamed in pain.  He couldn’t open his mouth to scream as he was gagged by the carpet.  All he could do was wait for the foot to lift off of him.  The crushing weight was almost too much for Adam and he thanked God that he was on carpet and not a harder floor.  His back was in pain and he could feel the rougher flesh of his dad’s foot against his back through the tatters of his shirt.  Adam felt the large foot begin to peel off of him, leaving he pressed into the carpet.

           Tom laughed as he lifted his foot off of Adam.  “Looks like you didn’t run fast enough, bug.”  He chuckled.  Adam could smell stale feet stink as his face was pressed deeply into the carpet.  No doubt this stale feet stink in the carpet was from his parents' constant trampling of the carpet beneath their feet.  He pulled his face from the carpet and rolled over to look up at the towering giants.  He was greeted by his dad’s enormous foot descending on him once again.  Adam screamed as the foot slammed down on him.

           This time Adam’s face was buried in the smelly flesh of the foot.  The foot crushed him into the carpet once again.  The foot was rougher than his mom’s and had strong feet stink.  Tom shifted more of his weight onto the foot Adam was under and even more weight smashed him down.  Adam was engulfed by foot flesh as he couldn’t move a muscle while the foot smashed him.  He felt as if his insides were turning to mush and that all of his bones were going to break at once.  He felt like his skull was going to pop.  Finally, the crushing weight of the foot lifted off of him, leaving him gasping for breath.

           Tom chuckled as he looked down at his pitiful son.  “Just like a crushed up little bug.”  He sneered as Adam gasped for air.  His vision was a bit spotty but he could still see his parents’ grinning faces.  He could see their lips moving but had no idea what they were saying.  He could tell they were laughing as well as talking but couldn’t hear a thing.  It sounded as if he were underwater almost.  Everything hurt so bad.

           Adam groaned in pain as he stared up at his giant parents.  His vision was beginning to clear and he was trying to gather his strength to stand.  As his vision began to clear, he definitely did not like what he saw.  He watched as his mother placed a hand on his father’s shoulder and lifted her foot up, bringing it over him.  She hovered it above him, grinning down at him as she held her foot above him before it began to descend.  Adam saw her sole was a bit reddened and there was an almost unnoticeable film of dirt on her foot from her walking around in flip-flops.  He wouldn’t have even noticed this slight bit of dirt if he wasn’t about to be up close and personal with the massive foot.  Adam didn’t have the strength to move and was forced to watch as his mother’s foot came down on him.

           Jennifer’s foot crashed down on Adam.  It wasn’t as heavy as his father’s, nor as large, but still sent pain throughout his entire body.  He smelled her musky foot smell as her foot flesh engulfed him as she stomped him.  He was once again pressed into the carpet by the giant foot.  He could feel his body wanting to give as the foot mashed him.  He opened his mouth to scream and immediately regretted it as he found it filled with his mom’s foot.

           Jennifer lifted her foot off of Adam and laughed.  Adam could barely even move after being stomped by his mom.  It hurt to even breathe now thanks to his giant parents.  He could barely keep his focus on them as they towered over him.  “Still with us little man or can you not take a few stomps?”  Tom chuckled as he looked down at Adam’s tiny form.  Adam groaned and tried to move but everything just hurt so much.  Adam saw his mom bending over her hand reaching down for him.

           Adam’s one-inch tall body was engulfed by Jennifer’s giant hand.  Adam noticed her hand smelled a little fruity, probably from her lotion as the hand trapped him.  “He’s still with us,”  Jennifer said as she shook her hand, giggling as she heard Adam’s cries of dismay.  Adam was left feeling a little nauseous from his mom shaking him.  He felt her hand shake and realized that she was moving back towards the bed.

           Jennifer got on to the bed and leaned forward, dropping Adam at the foot of the bed before laying back down.  Tom soon joined her and laid down as well.  Adam found himself staring at four massive feet that towered over him like buildings.  His parents’ towering soles blocked out their enormous bodies and Adam could smell their feet smell.  Adam trembled as he stared at the massive feet which tilted back and forth above him.

           The TV’s mute was turned off and as it was, the huge feet moved towards him.  Adam screamed as he quickly found himself being smashed between his parents’ massive feet as they laughed.

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL’s 2020 NFL Season Week 5 Extravapalooza

My 13-year-old nephew was visiting this weekend, and he decided he wanted to become an NFL fan. In his short time on Earth, he’s lived in England, Montana, Georgia, Guam, and Connecticut, so he doesn’t really have strong regional ties anywhere. My brother and I are New Englanders, and since they now live in Connecticut, the Patriots seemed like a logical choice. But, he wasn’t feeling it. He has a fascination with New York City, so I helpfully told him that NYC has TWO teams he could choose from. He was excited, and settled on the Jets. Years from now, when he’s bigger and stronger than me, he will stuff me in a garbage can for setting him down the path of New York Jets fandom, and I will totally deserve it.

BONUS LINK THAT I FOUND INTERESTING: Scoring is way up in the NFL so far in 2020, and this post on 538 tries to figure out both why that is, and which teams benefit the most from this high-scoring and aggressive environment.

My picks are in BOLD, and the lines come to us courtesy of our friends at Vegas Insider. I use the “VI Consensus” line, which is the line that occurs most frequently across Vegas Insider’s list of sportsbooks. Your sportsbook of choice may offer a different number, and if you’d like my opinion on said number A) you are insane, and B) leave a comment below and I’ll try to answer at some point before things kickoff today. 

EARLY GAMES

Philadelphia Eagles at Pittsburgh Steelers (-7)

I saw a Smart Football Knower on Twitter saying that the Steelers defensive line leads the NFL in “pass rush win rate,” and that Carson Wentz has been the worst QB in the league when under pressure. That seems less than ideal for Philly, and it’s good enough for me to lay the points here.

Carolina Panthers at Atlanta Falcons (-2)

The Packers’ ruthless stomping of the Falcons this past Monday probably choked out any hope and crushed whatever will Atlanta had, and they’re doomed to spend the rest of the season listlessly playing out the string and losing to less-talented squads like Carolina....IS JUST WHAT ATLANTA WANTS YOU TO THINK! I’m not falling for it and neither should you.

Las Vegas Raiders at Kansas City Chiefs (-11.5)

Kill them, Patrick. Make them regret they were ever born. It’s crazy that as good as the Chiefs have been, it still feels like they haven’t played at their full planet-destroying potential for a whole game yet. Doing so this week against the hated Raiders would make me a happy man, all because the Raiders have had the audacity to ruin my picks more than any other team over the last couple of seasons. Well, it sure SEEMS like they have, anyway. I suppose I could actually go back and check to see if the numbers bear this out, but that seems like far more work than I’m willing to put in. It’s way easier just to hate them in blissful ignorance.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans (-5.5)

I’m happy for Texans fans finally being rid of Bill O’Brien, but this team still has issues and I’m gonna need to see drastically improved performance on the field before I raise them above “Trash” in my personal power rankings. Also:

Arizona Cardinals (-7) at New York Jets

The Jets had their own coronavirus scare yesterday when one of their players popped a positive test result. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, it turned out to be a false positive, so game on. Allow me to be the 1,000th person to make the joke that Adam Gase purposely tried to infect his team in order to get this game postponed, so that he may live to coach another week.

Los Angeles Rams (-7) at Washington Football Team

It’s COMPLETELY insane that Alex Smith is the #2 QB for Washington in this game. He has drop foot! His leg is made of paper mache!  Alex Smith entering the game to the deafening silence of a fanless stadium and immediately having his leg destroyed again would be the most Washington Football Team thing imaginable. 

Cincinnati Bengals at Baltimore Ravens (-12.5)

Cincinnati’s 8-time Pro Bowl defensive tackle Geno Atkins will be making his season debut in this one, and that should be enough for the Bengals defense to contain Ravens QB Lamar Jackson. Hahahaha, just kidding. This pick is based purely on my potentially misguided faith in super cool new kid Joe Burrow and his ability to put up enough points in garbage time to hit an infuriating backdoor cover. 

LATE GAMES

Miami Dolphins at San Francisco 49ers (-8)

San Francisco is 2-2, they’ve had an absurdly easy schedule so far, and they’ve also been decimated by injuries. Tough to get a read on these fellas. I’m inclined to believe they’ll round into form and make a nice playoff run, but it might take a bit for them to get into rhythm as they reintegrate their returning players. I think the Dolphins are plenty frisky enough to make this a legit scrap.

Indianapolis Colts (PK) at Cleveland Browns

Is it just me or is Indy Phillip Rivers infinitely less charming than San Diego Phillip? I don’t even know why I feel this way, he’s the same loudmouthed redass as before, but the Colt version just seems so bland. Maybe it’s the missing lightning bolts on the helmet/uniform. Those really do add pizazz to everything. Like everyone else, I very much enjoyed the Browns deploying multiple gadget plays in their thrashing of Dallas, but I’m not sure it’s a good sign that they felt the need to bust out so many of them against a truly ghastly Cowboy defense. Baker Mayfield still wasn’t all that great in that game (19-30, 165 yds and 2 TDs), so it’s tough for me to say the Cleveland offense has actually turned any sort of corner, especially with the loss of Nick Chubb.

New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (-8.5)

I assumed this game was gonna be on FOX and I was excited at the prospect of Uber-Crotchety Troy Aikman making an appearance as he finally loses it completely and shits all over a poor Cowboys performance and the NFC East as a whole, but it turns out this is getting the CBS Romo/Nantz treatment. So, now I think we’re gonna get a hefty dose of Gigglin’ Tony as Dak throws for another 450 in a blowout win. Is this sound reasoning for making picks? Absolutely not.

SNF: Minnesota Vikings at Seattle Seahawks (-7)

Once again, the Seahawks find themselves in the game with the highest over/under for the week (56). Giddy up! Vikings QB Kurt Cousins finally showed faint signs of life last week in a win over Houston, and a meeting with Seattle’s worst-in-the-league secondary should fully unleash the dragon. Among a fantastic-looking rookie class of WRs, Minnesota’s Justin Jefferson is quietly emerging as the best of the bunch. GEAUX TIGUHS!

MNF (Early): Denver Broncos at New England Patriots (-8)

As of now, the Broncos and Pats are scheduled to kick off at 5:00 PM on Monday night, but this could obviously be derailed by another positive COVID-19 test result from New England (or Denver, I guess). There’s also a question as to whether or not Cam Newton will be allowed to start at QB for the Patriots. Since Cam’s infection has been asymptomatic, he’s allowed to resume playing either A) ten days after his initial positive test or B) five days after his initial test, but with two consecutive negative tests 24-hours apart. Cam tested positive on Oct. 2, and the game is set for Oct. 12. 

This game is off the board at sportsbooks right now, but Vegas Insider pulled that Pats -8 from somewhere, so fuck it I’ll take a crack at it. I’m picking the Broncos to cover based on my assumption that Cam will NOT play, because believe it or not emotionless cyborg Bill Belichick has been one of the more progressive coaches at any level of football in terms of taking COVID-19 seriously. Low bar to clear, but still. 

UPDATE: This game has now been postponed as another Patriot has tested positive for COVID-19.

MNF (Late): Los Angeles Chargers at New Orleans Saints (-8)

The Saints appear to be getting healthier, with WR Michael Thomas, TE Jared Cook, CB Marshon Lattimore, offensive linemen Andrus Peat and Ryan Ramczyk, defensive linemen Marcus Davenport and Trey Hendrickson, and safety Malcolm Jenkins all returning to practice, albeit in limited fashion. But, the Justin Herbert-led Chargers have lost their three games by a combined 15 points, and they’ve looked extremely feisty each week, including decent stretches where they were in control against both the mighty Chiefs and championship-contender Buccaneers. Eight points is too many, in my opinion. Have I mentioned that I love Justin Herbert? What a dreamboat.

Tuesday: Buffalo Bills (-6.5) at Tennessee Titans

Much like the Patriots/Broncos game, this game isn’t being offered at sportsbooks as of right now. But, in my relentless commitment to consequence-free handicapping with no discernible benefit to me personally, I’m gonna pick it using the Vegas Insider line provided. 

It’s a real shame the coronavirus has turned this game into such a redheaded stepchild, because it’s a seriously tasty matchup. The Bills are on track to welcome excellent CB Tre’Davious White back, which is great news for a defense that’s been much shittier than expected so far. Tennessee’s best WR A.J. Brown is still listed as Questionable with a knee injury after missing the Titans’ last game (Week 3), and on top of that WRs Corey Davis and Adam Humphries are question marks due to testing positive for COVID-19. Not great! But, the Titans do still have Derrick Henry and a great offensive line, and as I mentioned before the Bills D has been butt so far this season. I think the Titans will still be able to move the ball effectively and eat up clock even with their potentially depleted pass-catching corps. Dare I say we’re in for some SMASH-MOUTH FOOTBALL?! Somewhere, John Madden just used a marker to telestrate a Halfback Dive on the nearest wall. BOOM!

Now for some stupid jokes! Hey, how ‘bout this Titans team holding outlaw practices and keeping their in-house plague going? More like TENNESSEE TYPHOIDS, amiright? If this game is canceled due to another positive test by Tennessee, you can always get your football fix by watching the classic film Remdesivir the Titans!

*thanks to Gov. Mike Huckabeav for helping me with that last paragraph

UPDATE: Another member of the Titans organization has tested positive, and their facilities have been closed down once again. This game seems perilously close to being postponed/canceled. Son of a bitch.

Last Week’s Record: 4-7-2

Season Record: 30-25-4