#this was just a vent so please feel free to ignore me
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Enjoyed the self-doubting reader hcs a lot !! Thank you !! If you don't mind, can you also do Knockout and Breakdown for it? 👉👈
Message - These two are some of my favorite babies in the word. Of course I will, hon!
Summary - Headcanons of Knockout and Breakdown cheering up their little human from horrible thoughts/feeling down.
Warning - Trespassing, Illegal Racing
Knockout
~ This man is so fabulous, it radiates off of him. Honestly you don't know how you could get such a beautiful bot to love you.
~ When he sees you in a bad mood, knowing your issues with self-doubt. He will spring to action to get you not thinking such horrible thoughts.
~ First thing this bitch does is flirt with you to try and distract you.
~ "Hey pretty. Want to go sit on my hood?"
~ Getting you to laugh or embarrassed is his accomplishment, he loved your sweet laugh.
~ Taking you to free movies is nice, but sometimes he lets you stay in his birth room to do make up sessions on each other.
~ He will try to get you to ignore your paperwork by helping him clean tools or even spilling some tea to you.
~ Dammit does he love when you cook, he may not be able to eat it, but he loves looking at the pretty dishes. If he sees you in a bad mood, this guy will try to remind you to try the new recipe he found that one time.
~ If you don't mind, this man will go speed racing with you in the diver seat. Knockout understands when you probably just need a breather from everything and would drive like crazy for you, trying to get you to feel like nothing else matters except this moment.
~ Want to dance? This man would make you feel like a princess when you both dance. Twirling you with his servo, letting you on his shoulder and hear him hum a tune.
~ "Look at you! Twirl for me again, beautiful."
Breakdown
~ Honestly wouldn't know what to do at first.
~ This big sweet giant would ask you if you wanted to vent about it.
~ Breakdown is such a good listener, keeping eye contact while you rant about your problems.
~ "Sorry y/n, I don't know how to fix your situation, but I will still be here for you."
~ PLEASE ASK TO GET ON HIS HEAD! He will let you and now you get to play with his cat ears!
~ I will debate with anybody about this, but he is the best cuddler on the Decepticon ship.
~ Breakdown would lay his head next to you and let you snuggle under his chin to keep warm.
~ Watch out, he is also a gift giver. He would find anything for you when he is on his scouting missions.
~ Want to watch him break shit? Head over to the dump with him and just watch him go crazy. Honestly it is one of his favorite past times, so knowing you enjoy watching him makes him a bit flustered.
~ You forget about your issues immediately when this guy twitches his ears. Just call for him and his ears will flick around from hearing his name.
~ "Do you need something, babes?"
#maccadam#tfp#transformers#transformers prime#transformers x reader#transformers x y/n#transformers x human#knockout x human#knockout#knockout x reader#breakdown#breakdown x reader#breakdown x human
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#I don’t wanna be this person but#I’ve been feeling so fucking sad and demotivated lately#I don’t even want to write anymore here to be fucking honest#I know we shouldn’t compare ourselves here but#it sucks to know that I’m working my ass off to write on a daily basis and then get so little recognition when compared to some people#I don’t mean this in a bitchy way please#I’m happy for everyone else out there#I’m just feeling sad and I’m missing the whole point of what writing was before for me#I miss the times it was fun and light and I didn’t felt any pressure to post or for my posts to do good#I’ll probably just take a break from writing fics cause this doesn’t seem worth it anymore#I’m bitter but don’t take me personal cause it’s not#it’s just me and my fucking mind#this was just a vent so please feel free to ignore me#writer thoughts#posts that nobody cares about
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i’m absolutely fucked,,
#PLEASE feel free to ignore this im just mad and need to vent#went to the dentist and i need a root canal and it’s gonna cost me £1300#im fucking cooked#that’s like#majority of my available savings#the rest are in a lisa i can’t move money from for my house fund#i’m so fucking frustrated i want to cry#i take such fucking good care of my teeth too#it’s in a back tooth that i apparently have a filling in???? a filling from when i was like 8 that i thought was in my baby teeth#and like they’ve only just caught it now#i’m going to be so skint#so yeah rip to me and being able to do ANYTHING next year 🙃🙃🙃 like at christmas too this couldn’t have been a worse time#stelle yaps#if i’m not active today it’s bc ill be trying to distract myself
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can someone please banish this writer's block for me 😫
it's the worst i've had in such a long time and i've tried to be patient with it but it's been fucking weeks now. i want to write so much but whenever i try they just feel like words on a page. every evening i sit down and rearrange them a little here and there and add some new ones, but they all just feel empty and and shit and my brain feels totally devoid of the creative spark i need to make everything come to life.
i know in large part it's my perfectionism getting in the way, but i don't know how to break through it. i don't know how to feel connected to my writing again. i don't know how to shift this fear of not being good enough that surges up every time i pick up a pen.
it's something that's always been there - but usually it at least comes in waves, or my love of what i'm creating is big enough to muffle it. right now, it's all i can hear. my inspiration has been totally drowned out by it. and i hate it so, so much. the fact that i can't access the one thing that brings me the kind of solace and joy and escapism i can't get anywhere else and is so vital to my soul. that i am blocking myself from engaging in the one thing that makes me feel like me.
i just feel so stuck and so lost and i miss being in that creative headspace so much it’s like a physical pain. it feels like part of me is missing, and it terrifies me that i don't know how to get it back.
#rambling this out in the hopes it might help me shift something#please feel free to ignore#it's incredibly frustrating because i have been SO excited to write these next few chapters of four walls for literal months#and i do have a decent chunk of the next chapter done#and also bits written for later sections too#but i just. i can't get into the headspace#it all just feels so far away and whenever i try and write it's like i'm pushing it even further away#ughhhhhhhhhhhh#i hate this so much#(and don't even get me started on my original stuff or my bang fic 🫠)#also anyone who's reading this and feeling worried about four walls being updated#please don't be#it's 2am and i'm being dramatic#i'll find a way to make it all work again because i love that fic with my whole heart#i just don't know how to shift this right now and i needed somewhere to vent#if anyone has any words of wisdom or writer's block cures please share 🫶#writing stuff#lulu posts
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woke up with the intention to be productive and have a good week. unfortunately I just have the saddies now and I lack motivation to do anything
#cherry chats 🍒#ranting in the tags#please feel free to ignore but I just need to vent#I’m so burnt out w school and work it’s not even funny#I have the rest of the week off after tmrw#but I still have assignments and now this instructor is telling me I’ve been formatting my papers wrong???? so I got a B on it#and im just not in the mood for the bullshit bc the last time a professor did this#we found out he was using AI to grade our papers and our entire class almost got kicked iut for plagiarism#and then I’ve been waiting to have surgery on my knee for almost a yr now and I’ve been bounced from doctor to doctor#I literally went to an appt Thursday to sit in an office an hr away when I told them I didn’t want to drive that far in the first place#only for this dumbass to tell me he needs more testing and imaging#even though when he left the old practice I was seeing him at he was ready to schedule for operation#BUT NOW HE WANTS TO TELL ME THIS AND I WONT BE SEEING HIM FOR ANOTHER MONTH??#I said fuck it and got a new dr at the same place I started seeing him#I’m just so tired of waiting and being in pain#I want my life back fr#I want to go to the gym and shopping by myself again#I also miss running my business but I hated my products#but I’m scared to bring it back bc idk where to start#sigh anyways#i’m sorry#hope y’all have a good day today 🫶🏾
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today is such a stark contrast to yesterday in how much i fucking hate today (vent/rant in tags bc i forgor to do it on my vent one)
#[🔮] rambles ~#lmfao you speak up in this household? WRONG. MISTAKE. HOW DARE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.#expressing your thoughts? fucking blasphemy#“oh you do know you can tell me anything anytime right? ” what a joke#gods#fuck this shit#you know what i need to learn properly? keeping my mouth fucking shut. keeping my thoughts to myself.#why do i even bother#I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING#just you know spoke the truth which is apparently forbidden or smth#its not my fault shes a hypocrite????? cant accept the truth thats her fucking problem#honestly i genuinely cant think of an adult around me who isnt a hypocrite but im sure there hopefully is#and then she comes again all sweet sickly smiles expecting me to shower her with love the next moment after being fucking scolded like hell#for saying ome single fucking line of my thoughts that she so encourages me to “express”#as if everything is my fucking fault#atp i hate myself as much too bc why do i let myself get affected i should have grown used to this shit years ago#i should know better than to let her get to me yet look at me being a sentimental lil bitch#god i just wanna get out of here please#anyways shit this didnt go to my vent blog fuck im sorry yall had to read that guys please feel free to ignore lmao#but yk i had to get my feelings out somewhere bc wwll i bottle up enough already lol#tw vent
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lol
#humungous trigger warning for the tags in the post#but i just need to vent somewhere and i don't want people irl to be in my business about this#or to get too worried and all...#tw: mentions of death and weapons and mental illness and suicide and sh-ing and abuse etc.#please feel free to ignore like i said i just need somewhere to vent#anyway i'm just so sick of being alive fr i've been so massively suicidal this past week and i'm so tired#having bpd AND bipolar AND depression AND ptsd and etc....#it really hurts so much#and my personal life is in fucking shambles like i just don't know what to do anymore#i feel so fucking alone all the goddamn time#so many friends don't give a fuck about anymore like they straight up just don't check up on me or anything#and my ex... i just. why can't you be more fucking understanding of what i'm fucking going through because of you#how the fuck did you turn my months-long depressive episode into me not caring about you cause i couldn't open about what i was going thru#i get you were fucking lonely but i was trying not to fucking die i was over here being talked off ledges#and then sending me a voice memo saying that you were lonely and trying to make an effort but i just didn't care about any of it#it's not fucking about you!!!! i didn't even let my own girlfriend or best friend in!!!! that's what fucking mental illness is!!!!!!#you promised that you'd be more understanding about my mental illnesses when we started talking again#what the fuck is this then?#why am i breaking down every time that you ignore me or take forever to text#like... she's gone back to calling me by my name instead of calling me 'baby' like she always has#she hasn't called me by my name since we first started talking it's been literally fucking years#and not saying i love you to me anymore...#and how can you fucking promise to stay in my life and still be my 'friend' and then fucking ignore me and don't answer my text messages#how the fuck am i supposed to feel that you haven't responded to me in over 24 hours but you react to days old ig messages from me#i fucking hate having borderline for fucking real i hate that she's my fp it hurts so fucking much#i feel like a fucking child i can't deal with this#i literally woke up from my sleep at like 3 or 4 am this morning nearly screaming#and then my gf found me on the living room couch crying and cuts all over my arm and a kitchen knife next to me#my left arm has been stinging all day from the fresh wounds#too painful to bandage them at the moment
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I haven't seen my cat in months, since I can't have her with me at college, and I miss her. So, so much. I really want to see her. I really want to pet her and hear her purr. I love her so much, and I feel a bit lonely without her.
#this is a very random and somewhat personal post#but I just really miss my cat#and felt the need to vent about it at the internet#because why not I guess#this is very much not my first year at college so I don't know why this is hitting me so much now#oversharing on main#please feel free to ignore me I just wanted to put my thoughts down
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hhhh i think I've shaken a few times tonight/this morning already...
#i dont want to go backt o seizures i dont want to go back to seizures i dont qant to go back to seizures please its been so so so nice#living a seizure free life#qhere the only times id shake are that time the light rail was way way way too packed or when the fire alarm went off#and those were just. light shaking#not full on jerking or a limb stopping working or falling to the ground#its been so nice livign in a calm environment#thats foing to go away thats going to go away thats going to go away#pnes is a viscious cycle because stress/anxiety makes you have seizures... but then youre anxious about having more seizures#and so#its a loop#its a loop itsa. freaking loop#i feel sick#mayeb thats cause i didnt eat dinner i dont know but im not hungry so#god its 3:30 i need to get back to sleep#though. if im shaking. i probbaly shouldnt go into work tomorrow#this morning. whatevrr#there is so so so so so much going on#vent#ignore me#i want to throw up#i hate you pnes i hate you cptsd why cant i be fucking normal why why why why wuy whu eju
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#lmao hi any new followers these are my vent posts please feel free to ignore#is it bad that i wish i didn't have siblings?#like i wish i'd been an only child and would trade for that#grew up with 4 out of 8 of them#never even met two of them#and sure the abuse would've been focused all on me but it already was so like#no difference#just more money focused on me and my birthday#bet i could've gone to college#bet i'd be able to drive#bet i'd have a car#my goals are so pathetic lmaoooooo#forgotten middle child!! eat shit no one loves you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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it probably didn't happen, but imagine the shrinking somehow reached the decepticons. I need the humans to react to the tiny cons because they of all the transformers act like they're scary and tough, but need a good hug.
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You guys keep me amused 😂 Let’s just go with suspension of disbelief and say somehow Wheeljack also FUBARed the Cons
I have requests for TFA Shockwave, Sunstorm, Rung, TFA Ratchet, Hound, and Cyberverse Soundwave. I’m actually busy at work this week, though, researching and compiling data, so updates may be wonky unless I start typing up the next day’s posts the previous night
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Mass Displacement Mayhem Scenarios Pt 3
Megatron
��� Staggering and off balance as he’s forced to mass displace without warning and then realizes he went past his limits somehow. That he’s only about knee high on you. The shock of it freezing him in place, so he flinches when you grab him and drag him into you. And it’s wholly undignified the way you’re going on about his “widdle” cannon. Why are you talking like that? He’s wracking his processor trying to figure out how this happened, because he’s stuck and can’t mass shift back. Left tiny and vulnerable, though it’s hard to focus on defense when you’re cupping his face in your warm palms, apparently delighted. Venting because he’s much too old for this, he keeps an optic and his cannon aimed at the door as you pull him into your lap to fuss over him. Secretly enjoying the feel of you hugging him as undignified as it is, but please stop talking to him like he’s a sparkling.
Thundercracker
• Has absolutely no idea what just happened, but before he can even try to figure it out, you attack. Had known you were still unhappy about being stolen, but didn’t expect you to lash out- oh, never mind. You just want to pick him up. Little wings flicking fitfully when you press a kiss to his helm and play with his wings with gentle fingers. All while cooing at him. Knows he should be mortified, but he’s enjoying the attention. Fuss over him all you want.
Starscream
• Flies to perch out of reach the instant you made that awful noise and tried to grab him. Glowering as you try to coax him to you. Why are you crooning at him like that? It’s undignified and he’s more worried about how vulnerable you both are right now. No, he’s not coming down. He is absolutely not cute. Trying his best to ignore you and keep an optic on the door ready to attack, because he’s completely stressed out, wings flared and paranoia out of control.
Constructicons
• Scattered when you ran toward them. They have no idea what happened, but to avoid being caught, they have to transform to speed away and you’re laughing hysterically as you chase after them. Bonecrusher gives up first and transforms back. Unresisting as you grab him and sit, grinning over how cute he is. Eventually they all wander over once they realize you’re not attacking. Patiently letting you fuss over all of them, grumbling but secretly eating up the attention. Scavenger just outright climbing into your lap for a hug.
Soundwave
• Hoisting Soundwave up into your arms to save him from his overly excited cassettes, you’re as giddy as they are. Because somehow Soundwave mass displaced smaller than you’ve ever seen. And because you’re holding him, you’re now also being mobbed by cassettes wanting to hold tiny Soundwave. Feeling guilty about it as you cave to their pleas and sit crosslegged with him in your lap, hearing his tired venting as you and his cassettes fuss over how cute he is. Tipping his head back to stare at you. “Traitor,” he grumbles, that serious voice coming from such a tiny frame shattering your own composure as you hug him laughing.
Shockwave
• Antenna back as he gets carried around like a helpless sparkling. Asks you to put him down and you ignore him, and since he’s unwilling to hurt you to get free, he’s just tolerating it. Please stop kissing him on the head, you’re making his processor chaotic. Cute? Him? Illogical. Venting tiredly at you the whole time, but a part of him almost enjoying the attention and how gentle your hands are. That you’re not intimidated by him at this size.
Previous
#transformers x reader#shockwave x reader#starscream x reader#thundercracker x reader#megatron x reader#constructicons x reader#soundwave x reader#soundwave#megatron#starscream#thundercracker#shockwave
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really fucking grinds my gears how my dad knows just how to make me feel fucking guilty for putting up boundaries and saying no
#not even for a major thing!#barely setting a boundary even! just saying i don’t want to do smth!#asking me if i want to go for dinner one evening when he knows i work late most days and have said this for years - in fact said this exact#thing to him last week - so when i say no bc i finish late he just pushes and pushes#until im like this doesn’t work for me AND i hate eating out i dont want to go. just go with my brother that’s fine. and he’s suddenly#blunt as fuck in his messages leaving me on read or guilting me about the hours i work….. like get a fucking grip your over 50 bro#i try to be polite with it but he just gets in a fucking mood like please you are a Loser#i see you weekly (smth HE chose when i was a bairn) like im not making my job and life harder just bc you feel bad that you don’t see me#more often now#also i only hate eating out with him!! because it’s awkward!! i like to be in and out when i eat with friends and we’re all the same about#it bc we’re all very autistic lmaooo but with him he likes to chat and chat and chat which is fine but i don’t.. and he asks more personal#questions than when we’re just at his as if im gonna open up just bc we’re eating thai food 🙄🙄🙄🙄#like you Don’t get to know if im seeing anyone or if im queer or even if ive got fucking plans to go away with friends tbh#like deadbeat dads that try to emotionally manipulate their kids get minimal information actually !! 🤓☝️#stelle yaps#fuck sake#i knew he’d start doing this when my brother was back - he’s always played us off each other and he always gravitates towards whichever is#the ‘easiest’ child at the time which is my brother ever since i became an adult lmao#i just don’t tolerate his shit and i let him know it whereas e will play along#me and my dad are too similar in that we both know how to really cut deep in the other :/#it just all sucks#please please feel free to ignore#i just need to vent like hell bc he winds me up a treat so bad
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Hello - I was impressed and extremely relieved by what you wrote in the post about the cult mentality of the Left RE Israel and accusations of genocide. You mentioned that you bought into the mindset until recently. If it's all right for me to ask, what was it that helped you break out of it? (Please feel free to delete/ignore if you'd rather not answer!)
thank you!! and no worries about asking— i think i put something in my pinned post about how people are welcome to send asks about this stuff, although my story isn’t super interesting. i fell down the typical online rabbithole, a couple weeks after october 7; i knew what had happened, at least vaguely, but the posts trickling onto my dash were all about the (undeniably tragic) loss of life in gaza, with little to no acknowledgment of the hamas atrocities that had started the war, so my narrative was pretty one-sided from the beginning. it just continued to snowball as the months went on and people became more radicalized, calling into question the reality of the 10/7 attacks and the humanity of all israelis. i never went all the way down the pipeline to full-on endorsing hamas or justifying their attacks, at least on a personal level, thank god, but i would reblog other people’s posts referring to hamas as a “resistance movement” and calls to boycott starbucks and mcdonald’s and condemnation of the “zionist media” etc etc etc. what pulled me out of it wasn’t any one thing— if someone had directly called me on my flawed logic and antisemitic biases while i was in this mindset, i doubt it would have done much, just reinforced my belief that i was on the “right side of history” and zionists were aggressors who couldn’t be reasoned with. it was mostly just passive observance and a slow exposure to other perspectives. i’m pretty sure the first post that led me to question my thinking was an ask on jewish-vents, which popped up on my dash in like, late july. this led me down another rabbithole, first scouring every single post on jewish-vents, then moving on to more popular jewish blogs that i had seen on “zionist blocklists” (applesauce42069, xclowniex, and spacelazarwolf were probably some of the blogs that influenced me the most, though i told myself i was just hate-scrolling at first, lol). i felt incredibly guilty seeing all the harm the movement i was a part of had caused to random jews and israelis just trying to live their lives and i realized how it went against everything i believed about how minority groups should be treated. from there, the aspect of actually undoing my thinking and changing my behavior for the better still took several weeks. denial of jewish indigenity to the levant in the face of tantamount archeological and cultural evidence was the first to go, as well as any ambiguity in my feelings about hamas. after that, it’s mostly been a slow process of redefining the idf’s actions from a “genocide” to a “war.” i still believe that what’s happening in gaza is unconscionable and horrific, and that too many innocent civilians have died, but i also understand how difficult it is to fight against a terrorist group that systematically embeds itself in civilian populations, and that the ratio of militant to civilian deaths is incredibly low compared to most urban warfare. i quietly deleted my old blog in early august— if i had directly engaged in harassment against jews, i likely would have kept it to make amends to the harmed parties and put a face to my actions, but as was, i had just contributed to the larger atmosphere of antisemitism on this site, and i felt uncomfortable knowing that i had a blog full of sentiments that no longer matched my values and beliefs. i decided i would be better if i took my endorsement out of the equation entirely, because when you’re looking through the notes of a post, it obviously doesn’t matter if someone who’s reblogged it no longer agrees with what was said— their notes still count as tacit approval, and i did not want approval of this “activism” attached to my online presence. i still have unwanted kneejerk reactions that crop up sometimes, particularly around the fundraiser posts from people “in gaza”; even though i know logically that they have all the markers of scams, there is still a part of me that really wants to believe i could help.
#thank you so much for asking i really do enjoy explaining how i got here and i hope these discussions#can help someone like me someday. choosing to unlearn everything i had swallowed is one of the best decisions i ever made#also sorry this took so long i took like an hour typing it out and hit text block limit for the first time ever#and then tumblr decided there was an ~error~ processing my post#so i pasted it into the notes app and then back into a draft. i hope my response makes sense and isn’t too rambly#leftist antisemitism#deradicalization#i/p#hlmoorewrites#ask
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Requested by @merry-andrews
‼️⚠️: NSFW 18+, possessive behavior, stalking
Homelander breakup headcanons:
He downed so many milkshakes and tubs of ice cream when you broke up with him, sitting in front of the tv and crying.
Homelander keeps trying to get your attention, to ignoring you in hopes of making you upset. One day he’ll deliver a bouquet of flowers and Im Sorry cards to your door, then nothing, then more gifts.
He told the public it was him who broke up with you, that he just felt you were incompatible to his lifestyle.
He makes you feel like you live in a psychological horror movie. You know you’re being watched, he’s sent you texts complimenting what you’re wearing that day.
Speaking of texts, he bombarded you with text after text and missed calls, varying from: “Please come home, I’m sorry, I’m not mad, I still love you, answer my calls” to “You fucking bitch, no one breaks up with me, pick up the fucking phone.”
You can hear his voice trembling in his voicemails, he’s left countless by now. You blocked him and changed your number, but it’s useless.
He scrolls through your social media grumbling to himself, distracted during meetings.
He still has a framed photo of you by his bedside. He keeps memorabilia of you along with Madelyn and Stormfront in his drawer.
He rebounds and tries to date a new supe, he makes it very public and overcompensates with all the forced happiness. But he very much doesn’t love her, he’s only hoping you’ll get jealous. And yes, he thinks of you while he fucks her.
You made the mistake of trying to move on and see another man, Homelander corrects this swiftly and your new boyfriend ends up missing.
He makes a habit of mutilating and/or murdering all your other exes and hookups.
In his free time, he watches you in your home. He sometimes lays next to you in bed and watches you, he’s gone before you’re awake.
He sneaks into your home to steal clothing, he loves to smell it while he’s in bed and pretend you’re still there.
Has came more times than he can count while watching you pleasure yourself, he pretends he’s the dildo you’re using. He’s tried to taste you on the dildo while you were gone, since he’s too stubborn to be the first one asking to hook up again.
He vents angrily to anyone in The Seven who will listen (and didn’t ask), then ask for advice on how to win you over.
He orchestrates you getting mugged so he can swoop in and save you like the hero he is, you almost fall for it til he goes “wanna head back to the tower for a drink?” He’s surprised and acts dumb when you get mad.
He’ll try again next time by putting a shooter or robber into your workplace, then you’ll have to see just how great he is.
#the boys#homelander#homelander x reader#homelander x you#homelander headcanons#the boys headcanons#homelander x y/n#homelander smut#my writing
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love-battery (lhs) - req
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pairing: heeseung x afab!reader
synopsis: Heeseung always would make you feel recharged just by being around. And you did the same to him.
my's note: hi hello here's a very fluff cute little thing! it's a request (thank you for requesting <3), so i hope you like it!!!! (have to say that when i chose the name of this fic, the jinyoung's song with similar name started to play on my head non-stop help)
warnings: skinship, established relationship, fluff, pet names, explicit language (i can't help myself. i'll always use at least one 'fuck' lol).
request: clingy gf with heeseung and it’s super cute and they’re in love, she really just misses him (here!)
wc: 3k
NOT PROOFREAD.
Even with your boyfriend’s tight schedule and the fact you both lived quite far from each other, you and Heeseung always managed ways to meet up and hang out for at least an hour or so – enough to work as a full recharge for Heeseung.
However, for the last whole month you only saw Heeseung three times. You were used to seeing him almost every day, either by going to his and staying for a bit or he coming to yours for the same reason, and it was pissing you off how annoying adult life was being so far, unabling you to do your daily basis chores, let alone drive to Heeseung’s studio to be with him.
Heeseung normally had a tough routine as a producer by spending long hours in his studio, staying up all night working on his music and constantly dealing with tight deadlines. Your favorite hobby was to grab a coffee and some snacks to surprise him by showing up unexpectedly; and of course, to sit on his lap while he kept doing his things.
But now you were the one fighting against time, as you had to deal with your last year in college, struggling with your final project and with your respective project partners – who would have thought that working with people would lead you to be that stressed, huh?
Your life was a total mess at this point, your sleep schedule chaotic, your body aching, begging for a pause to get some proper rest, but you really couldn’t give yourself that luxury; all the submission dates getting closer and closer making you go crazy in desperation.
And on top of that, you haven’t seen your boyfriend, the main source of your happiness, in almost two weeks.
“This is so frustrating, Hee,” you said with a realistic sad tone, when you decided to ignore the blank page on your laptop waiting for a new plot to pop up in your mind, and give your love life a little more attention, calling Heeseung. “It’s almost like the world doesn't want us to be together.”
“Don’t say such things, my love. Not even as kidding,” he interrupted you to say with a gentle voice. “We’re going to figure out something, yeah?”
“I’m sorry, Hee. But– I’m dealing with a bunch of stupid assignments with stupid deadlines in this stupid degree I chose, and you’ve told me early this week that you were pretty chill with your work. But I didn’t even have time to invite you over the days you said you’re free! Not to mention that if you were here I’d be paying more attention to you and getting fucked with my project.”
“Y/N–”
“And when I’m free you’re the one swamped with work! And, please, I’m not blaming you, babe, please don’t take it the wrong way. I love you and I love that you can work with the thing you’re passionate about. I’m just… Frustrated,” you unloaded with a long sigh, voice trembling a bit since your feelings were, also, a mess and your heart aching. “And I miss you so much. I wish we lived a bit closer, so we could meet more often in moments like this.”
You heard Heeseung soft breathing through the phone. He decided to let you vent instead of cutting you off, because he, more than anyone, knew how overwhelmed you felt whenever you had to deal with submission dates and projects. It was your third project in your whole degree, this one being the most important one, and Heeseung saw you in shambles during your working time in the smaller ones, fully understanding how hard it has been with this final one.
“I’m sorry you’re having to go through all of this, pretty girl,” you could feel the comfort in his tender, sweet tone. You wiped out a single tear that tried to escape your eyes, curving yourself into a little ball on your couch. “But you don’t have to do this alone, my love,” you heard a weird noise through his phone, very similar to a door unlocking. Your door unlocking. You frowned. “Don’t freak out, bae. I’m entering your apartment right now.”
Your heart dropped in your chest. “What?” You whispered in disbelief, your phone falling off from your hand, your eyes widening as you watched your boyfriend walk through the front door, smiling big and bright at you.
His dark red hair was attractively messy because of the motorcycle helmet. He also carried a big backpack on his back and a plastic bag with the logo of your favorite food place.
“You’re kidding me,” your voice was barely a whisper at this point, your lips curving into a smile that grew bigger and bigger, still finding it hard to believe that the man talking to you on your phone was now in front of you. Your beloved boyfriend was now in front of you. “Lee fucking Heeseung!” You almost squealed, walking in his direction right after he put his helmet and his backpack on the ground, to jump on his open arms which were waiting to embrace you in a tight hug.
Your legs instantly wrapped around his waist and your arms on his shoulders, his firm hands gripping on your thighs to hold you close and steady as you buried your face on his neck, inhaling his scent as if it was your favorite drug. You heard Heeseung chuckling at your reaction and you finally noticed how fast your heart was beating, everything feeling unreal. All the frustration you felt waving off your body quickly.
“Hi, baby,” Heeseung said in an affectionate way, with you still hidden on the curve of his neck, making him let out a small laugh at your adorableness. He missed you so much.
Your fingers tangled in his soft hair, pulling him into yourself as if you could become one before you started to kiss every piece of his exposed skin, from his jawline to close to his ear, to his cheek, the tip of his nose and finally his glistening, dreamy lips.
Heeseung let out a contented sigh when he felt your sweet taste, walking carefully through the living room so he could sit on the couch with you on his lap, the contact never breaking. He deepened the kiss by slightly brushing his tongue on your bottom lip, electricity running all over his body once you let him in to feel him closer, so intimately; his hands sneaked into your shirt, caressing the bare skin of your waist just because he needed to touch, to feel you more.
“I missed you so much, my love,” you whispered when you parted away to catch your breath, pecking his lip countless times as you said “Missed. You. So. Much. Oh. My. God,” and the last one lasted a bit longer, making Heeseung giggle and kiss you properly one more time.
“I missed you too, pretty.”
Heeseung was looking at you with so much love, his eyes sparkling in joy for finally having you that close, touching, kissing you. He caressed your cheek while his gaze wandered all your face features, as if he was trying to memorize every one of them, completely endeared by your beauty.
Heeseung looked at you as if he just discovered what love is.
You weren’t different, though. Your soft touch on his strands of hair, scratching slightly as your contemplated every piece of your very good-looking boyfriend, not holding yourself when your fingers started gently to trace his face; his big deer eyes now turned into little crescents, his pretty nose that you loved to kiss, the little charming mole on his forehead, and his so, so attractive lips adorning the most beautiful smile you ever had the chance to see. You were so in love.
Heeseung felt like he could stare at you all day and he would never feel tired, actually to have you close always worked as a battery recharge. And for you, Heeseung did the same, making all your bad feelings wash away easily because you had him, and you knew you could rely on him.
Ironically, the sound of your laptop on the coffee table indicating that its battery was running out, pulled you both out of your little love bubble, startling you slightly. The reality check hit you with full force, and the bottom of your stomach sank immediately.
You gulped, looking at Heeseung with a hint of sadness before you sighed and said, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy you’re here, but I–”
“You have things to do, I know,” Heeseung cut you off mid-sentence. His kind voice, the small peck on your cheek, and his cute smile making you shiver and melt. “But don’t worry about me, okay? You do your things, I’ll be around for whenever you finish, and then we can cuddle,” he said simply, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“You’re staying?” You questioned with eyes sparkling in confusion. “I don’t want you to mess up your sche–”
Heeseung now stopped your talking with a sweet kiss, and then another, and another, and one more just in case. “I’m staying, baby,” he chuckled at your tilted head, expressing that you were very much confused. “As I said before, I’m pretty chill this week,” he explained with a warm smile, mirroring yours. “Anything I have to do, I can do from my computer or phone, so I’m all yours this weekend, my love.”
Heeseung fell even deeply for you when he saw your eyes shining like you received the best news of your life. And for you, you actually did. To have your boyfriend for a whole weekend after days without being able to see each other, you truly thought you were dreaming.
So to have Heeseung feeding you while your hands worked on your writing was definitely something that you hadn’t planned for your friday. He was openly giving his opinion as well after you cutely asked him to, paying attention to every detail you shared with him about the plot you were working on.
“So your idea is that after he leaves the house, you give an extra zoom on the door knob because someone is going to open, even though the house is supposed to be empty?”
“Yes! And then it’s revealed to be actually his ‘dead’ twin!” You explained excitedly, noticing Heeseung gazing very passionately at you. You blushed, feeling suddenly too aware, because your story now has been read by someone other than you. “I– I know it’s kinda simple and boring, but I mean– I got the approval to keep working on it, so…” You shrugged, trying to act cool, but your pout was showing how insecure you actually felt.
“It’s not simple or anything bad, my love,” Heeseung couldn’t resist the urge of kissing your small pout as he reassured you. “It’s impressive how your creative mind works, I’m really proud,” he said with his voice filled with sincerity.
You gave him a shy smile before going back to writing, heart beating fast with his genuine words.
Heeseung never left your side. You needed him around you every single second, not only to compensate for the days you were apart, but because Heeseung was really your source of energy. So to write on your computer while having his fingers intertwined with yours became a natural activity during the moments you were working on your project. You could feel Heeseung’s love stare at your face during those moments, completely in love by your focused expression.
Sometimes he would leave your touch to reply to some of his co-workers on his phone, giving them the attention they needed, but in the meantime his head would be resting on your shoulder, completely addicted to your touch and to having you close – his hair tickling your neck making you lose focus for a few minutes.
You both wanted and needed each other with the same intensity. Heeseung always loved your clinginess, emphasizing how lovable you looked with your pouty face whenever he had to leave the bed to go to the bathroom or grab some food in the kitchen and “leave you to die alone”, like you normally would say in a very dramatic way. Especially because he himself was pretty clingy too, holding you in a tight back hug whenever you had to go back home after visiting him at his studio, refusing to let you leave his side.
To move in together was a big dream. However Heeseung always talked with you about finishing your studies first before committing your relationship on that instance, so you could have your freedom without him disrupting your focus; he also knew that he wasn’t ready to have you so close for that long, afraid of scaring you off by how much he would be around you, maybe losing his own concentration on his work.
And this behavior was being shown at that moment, by you doing the lunch and him hugging you from behind.
“I have to be honest, I don’t really see this as ‘helping’, Hee,” you said with a playful chuckle, not really bothered by his big hands resting on your hips as well as his chin on your shoulder while you did all the work. He was clinging like a koala, making it challenging to move around the kitchen.
“What do you mean? I’m clearly helping you,” he said with a babyish voice, making you giggle. You could tell he was pouting too. “What if you get hurt? I have to be close, y’know? To save you from danger.”
You laughed hard, throwing your head behind and profusely resting it on his chest. “The danger?”
“Yeah, the knife and fire and stuff…” He explained like it was obvious.
You turned down the heat on the stove, moving away from it so you could face your boyfriend, just to meet his big, adorable eyes looking at you with a dramatically pleading expression. “You’re right,” you said softly, cupping his cheeks and planting a kiss on his lips. “Thank you for protecting me from the dangers of my kitchen,” you added a hint of sarcasm to your very affectionate tone, without holding your smile when he nodded proudly, before pulling you closer to kiss you properly as now your self-proclaimed hero.
After you finished cooking – with Heeseung’s help, of course –, you both shared the meal, doing constant “love shots” but with your food, just so you could feel each other’s touch.
Heeseung didn’t let you go back to work on your project when you finished eating, saying you needed a bit of resting time with him. And how could you oppose such truthful words?
So you spend quite a long time of your Saturday afternoon embraced in Heeseung’s arms and scent all over you, making it difficult to choose anything different from being on the bed cuddling him.
After changing positions many times, you now were on top of Heeseung, face buried on his neck while he hummed some random song, hands gently caressing your back and scalp, making you wonder if taking a quick nap at that moment would mess up too much with your project work.
As if a sense of responsibility hit you, remembering all your deadlines and especially that you had to finish at least the plot writing by Monday – in two days –, you forced yourself to try to move away. Your body refused, though.
“I should go,” you said, muffed into his skin.
“Yeah, you should…” Heeseung added, not moving an inch to help you with that. In fact, he held you closer. Your warm body against his own helping him to relax.
“Like, reeeally gotta go…” You didn’t move as well, trailing kisses all over his neck as you refused to get up.
“Definitely you do…” His voice was a bit raspy in a sweet, tender way that made it even harder for you to leave. He was about to fall asleep.
You sighed, “I missed being like this with you.” You lifted your head just enough to see his serene expression; eyes closed, lips slightly parted and a calm breathing. You almost cried with the fact that you truly needed to go back to your life instead of staying there with Heeseung.
Your hands caressed his face with all the care in the world, making him open his eyes, “I missed it too, pretty. I miss you every moment I’m without you, actually.”
You noticed a soft flush on Heeseung cheeks and giggled at the sight of your ‘so cool’ boyfriend blushing in front of you.
You always appreciated how Heeseung was not only a good listener to your worries and maybe overwhelming thoughts, but also unafraid to show you his most sensitive and vulnerable side in order to make you comfortable on doing the same. You cherished his presence in your life with all you had, not being scared of loving him so openly, because he did the same for you.
“I love you,” you whispered, leaning in to tease a kiss. He smiled against your lips, closing his eyes again.
“I love you too, my love,” he murmured, mirroring your tone and capturing your bottom lip with his own, to pull you near and finally kiss you.
You decided to stay for a bit longer, because Heeseung’s hands roaming your body with such care and tenderness, his sweet mouth working on yours, and his loving whispers against your skin were too irresistible.
The best excuse you found for yourself was that you were revitalizing so you could work better, your creativity would flow easily and you would finish it in no time.
And, well, he would be around you anyway, because he just couldn’t never get enough of your pretty face, or your joyful presence, or your addicting warm touches.
After all, Heeseung always worked as a recharger to your love battery, and for him, you were no different.
#heeseung x reader#enha fluff#heeseung fluff#heeseung imagines#heeseung fanfic#heeseung soft hours#enha soft hours#heegyukeluv reqs#heegyukeluv works
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Hii how are u? i'm feeling kinda anxious today so can i request a poly!marauders or just remus where they/he comfort r because she's scared about the future please?
this is like a personal request because i'm in my 20s and i know i should find a job and i want to but i'm terrified bc i don't like to interact with new people😭 and every single night when i reflect on my future i just get so scared and anxious and i hate i was born like this because my younger sisters are more outgoing than me and they have no problems but i just feel kind of pathethic yk🫠 SORRY FOR VENTING IN UR BOX IT'S JUST BC I LOVE YOUR WRITING BUT FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THISIF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE🙏😖
Hi lovely, don't be sorry! I'm sorry you're so anxious. Wishing you the best and thanks for requesting <3
cw: anxiety
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 483 words
Remus lets his hand lay heavy on your head, thumb stroking your temple while hot tears carve paths across your face to dampen your pillow. He’s better than you would be, brown eyes watching you patiently from the pillow next to yours. He knows you need to cry it out.
“I hate seeing you so wound up over this,” he murmurs once you’ve calmed. His thumb is still moving steadily over your skin. “You’re making it ten times worse in your head, lovely girl.”
You make a hum of dissent, and despite your exhaustion another tear dribbles onto the bridge of your nose. “There’s no way around it,” you say, whispering to avoid a squeak in your voice. “I can’t just never talk to people.”
“But you don’t have to do it all at once.” There’s a slight indent in Remus’ forehead, but aside from that his face is gentle and kind. He believes in you. “We can take baby steps, work up to the scary stuff.”
“I can’t.” You sound pathetic to your own ears, but Remus only tsks.
“Yeah you can, dove. You can talk to people, and meet new ones, I know you can.” He shifts his head slightly on the pillow, waiting until you look at him. “You met me.”
Your lips give a tug. That was easy. James had practically forced the two of you together. “You’re nice, though,” you say, “and quiet. You were never hard to talk to.”
Remus gives you a fond look. “There are other nice and quiet people out there.”
“Not like you.”
He rolls on top of you, groaning in a shoddy attempt to cover his amusement. “Perhaps not,” he allows, and when you sigh he imitates it sympathetically, dropping his chin to your chest. “Still, some might come close. Not everyone is rude and loud.”
“I’ve seen no evidence to the contrary.” You pick up a piece of hair from over his ear, curling it around your finger. “Look at Sirius.”
“If Sirius represents humanity, then we’re all fucked.” He turns his head to kiss the inside of your wrist. You’re trying to distract from the original topic, and Remus knows it. “You make a good point, dove. If you can handle Sirius, talking to anyone else will be a breeze.”
You look away, sulky. Remus chuckles. He reaches up to scratch lightly at your scalp. “Let me help you with the small things,” he bargains, voice downy-soft and soothing, “and when you’re ready for the bigger stuff, I’ll be there with a hug for after. Okay?”
Your sigh is hefty enough to ruffle the ends of his hair. “You can’t just come with me and hold my hand?” you ask, only partly teasing.
Remus’ smile shows he can tell. “Afraid not, sweetheart, but don’t worry. You’re braver than you think. I know you can do just fine on your own.”
#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x self insert#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin fic#remus lupin hurt/comfort#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin scenario#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin one shot#remus lupin oneshot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders era#marauders x reader#tw anxiety
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