#this was a lot and I kinda lost my way lol
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cozymochi · 3 days ago
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Hi Mochi! First off, I just wanted to say I love your art and OC'S! They are beautiful and very cool! Cecil kind of radiates baby girl energy in my humble opinion.
But I had a question about Nyoka. It's mentioned in his notes that he covers the scales on his face and arms with makeup or an undershirt, and the only visible ones are on his neck. Was this just for design reasons, or is he like self Conscious of them?
I'm just curious about the answer! 😊 Anyway, have a great day!
thANK YOU FOR READING THE NOTES ACTUALLY AAAAA 😳😭
It’s nothing too deep. Good news, he’s not self conscious of them 👍 He just covers the ones on his face to blend into the background a little more. He is a reptile amongst mammals and just wants to be left alone. Design wise, he already has quite a bit going on already on his face (the glasses, the specific eye makeup etc.), it’s just simpler to work with. I don’t really like too much busy-ness, and I do want people drawn to his eyes first. (does it work who knows idk) Though if I were to keep yapping I’d end up doing a dissertation on the trials of translating and evoking a cartoon snake into this guy. [dies]
Otherwise without the makeup the scales on his face are comparable to Snake’s face in Black Butler. If I bothered refining Nyoka’s refs more, then that detail on the main post it would’ve been clearer. SO HERE IT IS:
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Though, someone like Snake in general is a lot more simpler looking (positive) compared to Nyoka, so him having little details like that on his face already adds a little more flair to make him stand out. I think for Nyoka it’s fine to omit them given how much he already has going on and my priorities. (But they’re there 😳. I still think they’re cool looking.)
As for the undershirt, that’s just me pointing out that scales are there but just happen to be covered as a result.
It’s just a a design thing and a visual shorthand attempt on my end to register a more “diligent book-type” student amongst a dorm of primarily athletes. Also he looked kinda weird to me in the standard dorm uniform without it. Kind of in that same way Ruggie would look kinda weird if he wasn’t wearing the dorm uniform in the way he does that fits his character more. (For reference: the default Savanaclaw uniform is how Jack and other NPCs wear it. It just looked weird on him is all.)
But I suppose in-universe It could also be read as a means of Nyoka once again just trying to blend into the background. He just dresses like that willingly. 😩 He just doesn’t want attention. He’s not wearing heels in his dorm uniform, I didnt show it but trust me.
He has scales lining the sides of his entire body length, but unless I were to show off his base mannequin, no one would really be able to know lol 😂 Having them peek out around the neck was just a more subtle visual indicator of what he is and neat looking to me. Adds a lil’ bit of spice that was lost in the shuffle. That’s really it. Just pointing out that they’re there.
UHHHHHHUNNGH I LOVE answering stuff like this thank you 😭😭 Anything that involves me explaining design choices tends to make me act a fool since it’s pretty rare so I might overdo it a bit. Literally even the tiniest aspects have paragraphs worth of reasonings behind it so i uhhsgdhdghs i promise all this stuff is intentional. And im only scratching the surface tbh. 😭👍 but thank yooou💃💖💖
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postmanlee514 · 2 days ago
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Okay I’v been thinking about some post-game Rookanis thing since I finished my first playthrough
Spoiler ahead alert!
So here’s my hc: since my Rook is a Shadow Dragon,they will join the rebuilding of Mintharous and Lucanis needs to take the duty of The First Talon. The couple may have a long time couldn’t be able to make time for each other.
And finally the two get their time to discuss their own business such as:
1) Where to live, they can’t be separated in two city forever. Rook probably will be the one to compromise? They do enjoy the city and I think maybe Teia will invite them even before Lucanis asks LOL
2) my Rook is a Necromancer, It’s time to talk about necromancy with Lucanis 😆 I knew Emmerich tried but Hey! This is Rook speaking! Maybe Lucanis will try to understand necromancy?
3) Keeping pets. Lucanis already has a pet snake but how about Rook? Growing up in a military family, maybe they moved around a lot. This time they finally settle down, so keep pets is a good way to provide a sense of stability. But I also think Spite may disagree Lucanis and Rook’ decision Hahaha
4) About wounds healing . My Rook was a foundling and lost their parents years ago,then was Varric who was their nearly-father for like half a year, then was Harding-their longest-standing companion. They can’t be not having trauma in losing someone and be really fear to be abandone. So after all they’ve been through, maybe this is the chance Lucanis will be there for them for a mind therapy ? I would love to see them curing each other. <3
Followed are some of my gripes(No need to read!)
I literally cried for like 2 hours when I saw what Rook experienced when they trapped in Fade.Varric is always my favorite since DA 2, and damn! Varric’s words really help me to continue the game after the Mintharous or Treviso Choice. Shadow Dragons and Neve blamed all of this to Rook (and I was like “Rook is only one person without army and forces how could they be able to save the city? And Minrathous did have far more forces than Treviso has”)and they’ve already messed up the ritual. The self-doubt was about to overwhelm them, but they had to pretend to be optimistic and help everyone in the team dealing their problems.
My Rook has never considered themselves as a leader, they just stood out and begun to take the duty of finishing the job and they tried their best to take care of everyone. In the game,Varric was the only one asked Rook how long has it been since they’ve slept while they’re worrying others’ sleeping.
And the absence of companion banter, didn’t got their option when companion talking about a mage thing,etc…really made me feel unwanted . I hope maybe someday bioware could add some rook’s reaction to companion banter🥲
I mean, at least they should have comments on Romanced Lucanis told Taash how to kill mages and that’s like dancing or seduction …
“I’m right here hearing! Lucanis! ”
English is not my first language so please forgive me if I say something weird 🥲
about my Rook:
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chevelleneech · 2 months ago
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to me Jimin seems more apprehensive of the two, which is understandable with ms upcoming etc, but jk seems so carefree and happy, idk where people are seeing this disinterested-ness, bc he seems constantly happy and even trying to make sweet moments (like the snowfall comment ahah)
I agree JK seems carefree, but I have to be honest, I don’t see either of them as being any more or less apprehensive than the other. During AYS nor outside of the series. I think they have different personalities, thus a lot of the time what we’re seeing is them just being themselves.
To me, Jimin has gotten older and has found comfort in both being exactly who he is as well as being mindful of his surroundings. Personally, I think Jimin it’s cutesy and affectionate, but I do think he plays it up for the camera as well. It’s a thing almost all idols do, but for people who enjoy it like Jimin, it slips easily into their personalities.
That said, Jungkook is also naturally cutesy and affectionate, but we only really see him be that way with Jimin or Hobi. Those are the two members we’ve seen him gravitate toward as his comfort zones over the years, with the main difference seemingly being Jimin is also his emotional landing pad.
To get back to the point, I think both of them seem chill. They’re laughing and drinking and eating and doing a small bit of adventurous things, which must have been all they wanted to do anyway. I mean, Connecticut and Sapporo in particular are trips we know were planned by the two of them, without any change of plans, meaning they intentionally chose nothing to do. Yes, they went canoeing and snowboarding, but that’s not the same as planning their trips around specific events. They didn’t go to a summer or winter festival. They didn’t go camping with other friends. They didn’t do anything big, is basically what I’m saying. They chose what appear from the outside, couple-like activities. I mean, starting with a cozy, single bed cabin in the woods, is a crazy thing to do for just friends, lol.
The last day in Connecticut was in what I assume as an air b&b house, for whatever reason. And I don’t say that to dismiss them sleeping in different beds, but the second episode wasn’t really about anything. They woke up, cuddled in bed, went grocery shopping, then went out to dinner and the episode ended. What made the episode worthwhile, was getting to see Jimin and Jungkook existing alongside each other in what according to them, was their first hangout in a bit. The first two episodes were really the one time we saw them rekindle a thing, after whatever they’d been through, and the result was, “Let’s keep doing this.”
So I do understand that with all we know about the members, and with all we’ve seen from other travel specials over the years, AYS is different. We’re seeing a dynamic between JM and JK that we’ve only really heard about in passing.
Yes, we knew they were attached at the hip. We knew they had similar senses of humor. We knew they cuddle and smacked ass here and there. We knew JK was a Jimin-pedia. What we didn’t know, was how deeply that ran off camera. And yes, AYS is obviously being filmed, but the part I think people are either refusing to or having a hard time grasping, is that it truly is unscripted. I don’t think the other specials were scripted down to the bone either, but there was always something they were expected to be doing. The closest thing to AYS was ITS, and we saw how chopped up that was to paint the picture that the members were always doing something. They edited stuff out of order just to keep the episodes moving.
AYS does not appear to have that. There are time jumps, but it doesn’t appear to be any: “This happened at 10am, but it’s going to be edited into having happened after JM said it’s 5pm.” It honestly just seems like they told BH where they wanted to go; restaurants and resorts wise, got some cameras and a crew, and started filming. So it was planned as far as the company had to make reservations and ensure their safety, then the crew likely went ahead to set up cameras and ensure their reservations were ready. But we didn’t see any of that. We only saw JM and JK’s pov, which was happening at the same time the crews were doing their jobs.
I’m getting long winded again, lol, but yeah I think a lot of what we’re seeing in AYS is just them being them. Jungkook isn’t “going through the motions” more so than he’s just not an overly outward expressive person when he doesn’t have to be on. And Jimin isn’t being apprehensive more so than he’s probably much more calm and laid back when he isn’t on.
And I think maybe that comes across as them seeming different in some ways, because we’re seeing just how often they really are on, even during past vacation specials. So I think the reality of Jimin and Jungkook’s bond and dynamic is that they are just soft for one another. When they don’t have to put on a performance in too big of a capacity to be entertaining, they simply meld together. They breeze about, going wherever they want, and even if they don’t have a destination in mind, something as simple as shopping or hiking is enough. Hell, they even like brushing their teeth together and sitting around playing card games.
So again, I don’t think it’s apprehension, I think that’s just Jimin. He is a ball of energy, yes, but he also seems to enjoy sitting back and watching JK live and explore life. Boyfriends or not, he likes seeing Jungkook happy, and Jungkook likes Jimin to feel taken care of.
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vynnyal · 6 months ago
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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
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moeblob · 8 months ago
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Windy at my house + power flickering = no comm work = quick laptop doodle
#my characters#i genuinely hoped the wind would die down but like ??? nah?#and the last time we lost power without an actual storm it WAS bc of wind#and so i just get so panicked over please dont fry my tablet with a power surge#if it calms down by tonight i really wanna work on art since i spent almost all day yesterday struggling with a pose and i finally#think i thought of something that could work and then (gestures to the wind) fuck me#also in regards to these two you have seen me drawing deacon a lot recently and i only drew armya once so far#she is a devoted follower to fulj which is really rare since fulj no longer has a large following nor a temple#so when fulj finds her its comforting and reassuring and she adores armya a lot#however the fact that fulj relentlessly teases deacon and calls him names is like..... ok wait would you really be mean to me if it wasnt#for her ? like would you still pick on me? :c and shes like lol yeah dude absolutely#deacon is just constantly dunked on by the lightning group and hes so sad because he wanted to be friends :c#but also the guy wouldnt really recognize the followers if it wasnt for the traces of lady fulj#so if they would wander into the city without having been possessed recently he probably wouldnt even cast a glance their way#nothing personal he just straight up doesnt decipher looks fast at all#he could think they look familiar but then not know why ESPECIALLY if they wear something he's not used to them in#like if armya showed up in something other than her loose white jacket he would not be able to go AH YES ARMYA immediately#he identifies people by hair or clothing details so it kinda messes him up if people remove whatever identifying trait they have#long hair getting a hair cut? suddenly a whole new person#and armya knows this very well since he never looked her way unless fulj was possessing her or trailing her#so she does like to tease him as just. we are both in servitude to a deity and same rank but like. bro youre too easy to mock#(fulj agrees)
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liquidstar · 10 months ago
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wanted to post the royals and co. as a set for reference, though the only new things here are the king+queen and koe's updated design :p also most of them didn't get little infoboxes so those will be a first under the cut here ^_^
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Name: Andromeda (Andy)
Name origin: The Andromeda Galaxy, named for the mythical princess
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 20
Title: Heir apparent
Weapon: Flamberge (Same as her mom's)
Ethos (Power): None
Flaw power is based on: N/A
Notes: She wants to go on adventures someday, and make a lot of friends, and be normal. So please drop the "Your highness" and call her Andy!
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Name: Cepheus
Name origin: The constellation Cepheus, the king
Pronouns: He/him
Age: 54
Title: King
Weapon: Scepter
Ethos (Power): Authority (The ability to control people’s actions through his words, but not their minds)
Flaw power is based on: His controlling and paranoid nature
Notes: He prefers not to use his ability unless it seems necessary, but ends will justify the means.
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Name: Cassiopeia
Name origin: The constellation Cassiopeia, the queen
Pronouns: She/her
Age: -
Title: Queen
Weapon: Flamberge
Ethos (Power): Alis (The ability to generate wings)
Flaw power is based on: Her overconfidence in her own abilities, ironically like a completely different winged mythological figure...
Notes: Before being the Queen, she was the Hero.
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Name: Koeia/Koe
Name origin: The star Koeia, whose name literally means "Star"
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 20
Title: Maid/Andromeda's lady in waiting
Weapon: Twin Sickles
Ethos (Power): Blessing (She can make others more powerful through cheering them on)
Flaw power is based on: Her Obsequiousness
Notes: She assures you her devotion to the princess is strictly for non-homosexual reasons
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Name: Perseus/Percy
Name origin: The constellation Perseus, the hero
Pronouns: He/him
Age: 21
Title: 1st Knight/Andromeda's personal guard
Weapon: Harpē sword
Ethos (Power): Divine swordstrike (An all-powerful swing of the sword with no limit)
Flaw power is based on: His incredible arrogance and show-offishness
Notes: He assures you that his showy devotion to the princess is as heterosexual as it seems. Also he's the cousin Io from Nova Stella
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Name: Ursa
Name origin: Ursa major, the big dipper.
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 38
Title: Major
Weapon: None
Ethos (Power): Bear-handed (Her claws are unbreakable and can slice through any material)
Flaw power is based on: Her hyper-diligence. Her ruthless devotion and adherence. Literally nothing could ever stand in her way.
Notes: She’s the mama bear of Kochab (Ursa minor) from the timber scouts
#reason i wanted to change koe's design was bc i felt like the first one was a bit too basic ig?#wanted to give it more personality beyond being a maid outfit#so a funkier skirt and shorter sleeves and gloves and stuff. idk its more koe and less maid. but still maid#other than that obviously are the two wholly new characters#honestly designing them was interesting in a way bc it was like reverse engineering andys face#i think she takes after her mom more tho#but she also does try to emulate her so thats also part of it#honestly andy is really similar to amary in a lot of ways not just bc of the whole princess thing but the family dynamics to a degree too#there are still some pretty big differences (andy wasnt abused but her father is still really strict and constraining out of worry#and amary's mom was actually kinda the polar opposite of andy's and their emulations are completely different too)#BUT#look read cepheus's flaw. hes not going to be a good guy lol#hes the type that starts out nice enough on the surface but when pushed it will become. again. ends justify the means#very.... 'my way or the highway' type guy i guess. but with power#cassiopeia s more noble than that though despite any arrogance in her skills#its like one side of a balancing act lost#again look at her power. its wings! wings mean freedom! no restraint! touch the sky!#unfortunately kingdoms arent usually about that is the thing#maybe andy can fix it now though#but honestly andy percy and ursa are pretty much all just here for convenience#it wouldve been easier to have a ref post lumping all royals and andy's entourage together. and ursa i guess idk where else shed go lol#i thought abt putting her w the zodiac knights but their theme is too uniform. background color is the same tho so same affiliation#w the royals#also does anyone get my amazing joke. shes a major. major ursa. ursa major. i know i know#ill be here all week#finn's ocs#oc references#finn's art
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kiwisandpearls · 7 months ago
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the statements “platonic relationships should not be undervalued” and “it’s ok to ship wlw ships and mlm ships even if the characters involved have no canonical romantic interest in each other” are not mutual exclusive.
#talk away ⌞🍵🍋 ⌝#I’m aroace let me tell you#I absolutely agree and wish people would put more emphasis on platonic relationships#and I wish people would stop downplaying them#platonic relationships can be just as if not more important than romantic ones#at the same time tho#I think it shouldn’t be frowned upon for people to ship two female or male characters together even if they are canonically just friends#yes the statements “there’s no heterosexual explanation for this” when two characters who have a platonic relationship#are being intimate is very annoying when you look at it through the view of#amatonormativity#trust me again I know how annoying those types of statements are#and while a lot of people rightfully criticize it for that#I’ve noticed a lot of times people more seem to criticize that type of thinking#not because it an amatonormative way to view those relationships#but because (whether consciously or not) they’re putting down certain shippers for shipping wlw or mlm ships#that they see as just being friends therefore everyone should see them as friends#and if you don’t your wrong and are shoving them into a relationship that isn’t canon#I think I kinda lost my roll saying that but that’s the best way I can put…nicely at least lol#mlm ships#wlw ships#fandom discussion#kinda?#shipping#queer ships#queer#lgbtqia#I got inspired to make this post via discussion about farcille (dungeon meshi) that I’ve seen more specifically on YouTube#romantic relationships#platonic relationships
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alaskan-wallflower · 2 months ago
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how my parents feel after always reminding me how much better my older brother is than me
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skynapple · 3 months ago
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longagoitwastuesday · 2 months ago
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Going through the Utahim.e tag had me checking several times if at some point I had clicked on the G.ojo/Utahim.e one instead
#It's mainly the ship and mainly ship art. Very pretty btw. There's people with gorgeous styles there#There isn't even a lot of x reader fics haha I guess people don't want to bang Utahime?#Anyway... lowkey wished this happened with Ijichi lol#I so wanted Ijichi to mention or even hint at a mention of Gojo one last time like they did with Nanami#If nothing else for the weight of it all. The weight of feeling your youth dying piece by piece alongside the people who made it out#And everything it implies#Art of Shoko dealing with Gojo's death even in a cold way always strikes hard for that motive but I always love it#with pretty much everyone of those years. There was one piece I saw once that was not explicitly or necessarily romantic about Utahime#being hit by Gojo's death and I don't recall exactly how it was (I think I may have queued it?)#but it moved me more than any piece more clearly emotional that I had seen before#I don't know. I thought it held the potential of that. That weird uncomfortable heartbreaking feeling#of hearing bad news about old friends or classmates and how it makes you realise the weight of time#They suffered and accident. They tried to kill themselves. They are very sick. Their sibling or parent died. And you knew these people#You saw them daily for years. Maybe you weren't close but you knew these people. They cut my bangs when I was eight and I punched them#I tripped over them playing hide and seek and we both lost at the same time. We both hated each other's favourite teacher#They borrowed my pen once and then never gave it back. I once drenched them at the fountain after PE and it was winter but they laughed#Their mother got mad though. Now she's dead. We were made to sit together in French class in middle school. They loved to keep their hair l#Now they're sick and have lost their hair#Their little sibling was so annoying always trying to make us play with them during recess too. It was kinda cute. Now they're dead#I don't know. That kind of stuff#Utahime boosts Gojo and then he dies. Shoko opens him up to make a tool of his body#Ijichi accompanies another kid to clean after him in the meanwhile. And then the realisation hits. He is dead#He was annoying. He was my friend. He was so rude#He had such a sweet tooth. He laughed so loudly. He used to lean over people when talking with them#We were kids once. We are here now. He isn't here anymore. Some of us haven't been here anymore for a long while. It's been so long#He was still young. I am still young. We felt so old. At times it feels as if the time back then didn't happen at all.#And now he's dead and oh it's true he was so annoying but he also had such a sweet tooth. I forgot. What do I do with this memory now?#At times it felt as if the time back then didn't happen at all but then at times it shone through. He brought it back#He asked me a favour knowing I wouldn't betray his secret. He still teased the same way. He still leaned on people. But now he's dead#I don't know if I'm explaining myself well xD I think it's a pretty common emotion when it happens.Oh I forgot to censore words again sorry
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resident-rats · 4 months ago
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Actually might just go insane?? Going insane full time jobs? Losing my mind hiring? Google search.
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bravewolfvesperia · 10 months ago
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/ realized I forgot to put this in my bio and will add it later but
heads up that my Yuri is a combination of JP Yuri and dub Yuri, but primarily JP. there's a whole lot of nuance to Yuri that got left out of the dub (and seeing as he has waaay more content in JP due to the vast amount of crossovers/Tales crossovers/gachas he's in, it's a lot easier to keep Toriumi's take on him (and in depth understanding no less!) in mind). overall you get the same general person, but the dub left out a lot more his casual/playful side in vocal tone, preferring to go for the "edgy cool adult" concept despite, well, the JP version of him intentionally being quite opposite.
(on another note, context I use for Yuri involves nuances found in the drama CDs that are a condensed retelling of the game (before some original stuff) as well as his childhood novel which has voiced dialogue for his child and teen years. this post covers the game, but a lot of (especially internal) stuff for my muse may be heavily affected by his backstory too which is unfortunately completely absent in the actual game itself)
there's also a lot of back and forth between him and other characters that really lost their depth in the dub (ex. Yuri being much more gentle and soft with early game Karol when Karol was convinced nobody would believe him and that he was a failure, or his banter with Flynn being a lot more relaxed and significantly less annoyed with a better understanding of each other). I'll be retaining anything the dub yeeted out for whatever odd reason regarding his relationships.
(one particular grievance of mine is in the Flynn jailbreak scene, where Yuri is basically saying "you're just dying to abandon me" and Flynn starts off with "that's right" before basically saying the same thing - i.e. they both know it's not true and Flynn is going along with it because That's Them, to which Yuri responds with a solid and fully accepting "yeah" (no hesitation, no concern over it, as he prioritizes Flynn's life over his own).
another extremely strong grievance I have is the port scene - oops also with Flynn - where he's basically holding back tears asking for answers in desperation, which was extremely if not outright completely lost in the dub where he only sounds angry and not just utterly hurt. dub Yuri? I could believe he might kill Flynn if it came to that. JP Yuri? forget it, he would hold back at the last second and couldn't go through with it. that's genuinely the level of difference that was present between both audios.
that said, I love Troy Baker's performance itself - I just think he was unfortunately deeply incorrectly directed for several of his major scenes, and also unfortunately, some of those cases were involving some of his most important relationships)
if any of y'all play Vespy any time soon, I fully recommend giving it a shot with its original context at least once (if you're playing the DE version there's an option for JP audio)! even if you don't understand JP, at the very least the tone won't be lost on you! from what I've heard apparently there wasn't much communication between the directors on both sides, so a lot of Yuri got lost in the localization (and Karol's screaming is glorious in JP lbh).
tl;dr Yuri really is just a silly little guy and he's really not that cool or serious. he's a dork. he's a dummy. and he's easily embarrassed about it. get deep enough into his feelings for Flynn when they're not in a life or death situation and he'll completely cave in embarrassment.
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graevs666 · 1 year ago
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it feels mean when u realise tht certain ppl just aren’t adding anything positive to ur life, n tht they just make u feel anxious, on edge, confused and under appreciated… but i feel like im starting to listen to my gut to whose presence makes me feel safe, heard, loved and appreciated
#i don’t rlly wanna be friends w ppl who make me feel needy and annoying and unloved#not saying tht i should rely on others to make me feel happy or whatever#but there are ppl in my life where i don’t feel this uncertainty and discomfort#one of the friends deeply hurt my feelings and I cut them out for a while and then we became ‘friends’ again#bc i did miss having them in my life and it was v intense#but i also feel like im not rlly interested in being close w them anymore#like tht hurt never went away#n now i don’t rlly feel like i rlly care abt them tbh#despite the fact we’re supposed to be friends#i think i lost respect and compassion for them lol i don’t view them the same way as i used to#and the other friend were not close to begin w they’re friends w the friend i fell out w#but they make me feel anxious and don’t seem interested in acc being friends w me#but message my friend tht i introduced to them a lot so idk#they kinda give fake energy tbh and i don’t rlly feel comfortable being around them#which is fine bc we don’t hang out anyway lmao#but sometimes they’ll pop up on stories ive posted#n i feel like i just gotta fake it#i cba communicating it bc it always leads to conflict#so im probs just gonna let it drift#i do feel like i have a habit of wanting to cut friends out tho#bc i feel 50/50 w ppl a lot#some ppl i feel a safe connection w#others leave me feeling confused and on edge#so i think my gut is tryna tell me tht im just not comfortable#and when i spoke to a therapist ages ago abt this they told me to listen to my gut and be wary of who I’m friends w#but bc i also have abandonment issues etc I never know whether I’m being too sensitive and my trauma is driving the wheel#or whether deep down this is how i feel#it’s hard to trust ur gut when ur traumatised bc it can be rlly wrong#journal
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ambreiiigns · 2 years ago
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i wanna be someone who listens to misfits full time again wtf is ghost
#i used to be so cool. i used to be my brother's inspirations and goals. now he sees me and cringes and he's right#hsnckajdja joking. but also no#i feel like i finished the main game (cool iconique music) and now i'm doing the silly but way funnier side quests (ghost)#i mean ghost is not a bad band by all means. but they are so silly. i for one cannot take them seriously. never could#i thot they'd sound like repugnant back in the day then i heard like ritual and dance macabre and pissed my pants at the contrast between#the sound and the look and the purpose of the contrast. i respect them and love them but God they are so funny#i don't know how to phrase this. i don't even know what point i'm trying to make#but i do miss the music i listened to in high school. i lost so many songs#<- cons of only listening to music by downloading it to my phone is that sometimes when changing phones or sd cards you mess up#bc you're stupid and useless w technology and lose 500000000 songs and the thought of having to find them again is#anxiety inducing so you kinda give up on listening to them ever again. lol#like i was listening to so much guns n roses... misfits.... iron maiden..... metallica.... tool.... idk just those cool person bands#and now i hardly ever hear them and i actually miss them a lot :(#thankfully my brother has been following my footsteps so far and he's currently in his pink floyd tool era so i'm re-living those days#thru him but. i just miss it. i need to download everything again someday#the only bitch who survived the changing phone & sd card purge was alice cooper. i went and downloaded everything again#i will NEVER give up on that old man he's my favorite music guy in the world#i also was just starting out w him when it happened tho so i didn't have a lot of catching back up to do but STILL. alice cooper forever#and ever 100 years alice cooper love that guy to death and hell#oh nay#ignore this. i've been feeling nostalgic
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astranauticus · 1 year ago
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the funny thing about drawing robits at least for me is after i got the hang of it (pain in the ass) it actually becomes more fun than drawing regular humanoid anatomy because the geometry of it is just so much more… regular and intuitive like no Weird Muscle Curvature here! just orbs and cylinders
(anyway i recently remembered that theres a guy at my school who runs a printing station where you can print (among other stuff) stickers if you provide a design so guess whats my next wip)
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chaotictomtom · 1 year ago
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LOVED SAW X!!! gonna put in the tags my """review""" to not spoil anyone even though. we're a month late here in france. but just in case.
#i don't rlly have a rank system of my fav movies...but this one goes very high alongside THE FIRST ONE I THINK...#LOOOVE THE INTIMACY OF BEING DIRECTLY IN THE TRAP ALONGSIDE THEM#so happy to see billy even tho i think it's kind of silly. as. there's not point to have a tape and all when the ppl have already seen you#so it's not really as creepy as not doing wtf's going on who's doing this to you etc. but ig the. prosperity or dmth#*smth. stuff to leave behind so ppl can understand what happened or smth idkidkidkidk#FUCK TIMED TRAP 🖕🖕🖕#for matteo like. it is kinda frustrating that he did it and still he “lost” but that already happened to lots of other ppl in the franchise#BUT VALENTINA?????????? HELLO?!!!!#i think she was way too close to be free that it's actually super really unfair. not that all this is fair but. it's no better to me than#rigged traps. just as frustrating as adam's#i think#GABRIELLAAAAA....#wahhhwahhhh....... fucked up that we was treated as harsh as the others. i think. i mean it's fucked up for the ithers too but yeah.#mandy!!!!! almsot clapped and cheered seeing her#ppl going “who's that” on my left 🙄 THAT'S MANDY MY FAVOURITE FUCKED UP CREACHURE 🖕🖕🖕🖕#LOOOVE HER LIL JUMP I ALREADY SAW IN GIFS#these same kids kept going “who's [name of character CURRENTLY IN THE TRAP. NAMED SAID A BILLION TIMES AT THIS MOMENT KN TIME]#i get not remembering characters' names but this was. when there xas only TWO PPL LEFT.... THE DOC... SO LIKE... HELLO#who's that john they're talking abt again lol#wishing i haven't watched the trailer like every single time i watch trailers but it'snfine#anyway loved loved loved it :3 will rewatch it real soon in vo#i wish lawrence was here....#also the BTS photos of that adam look alike 🧍 i really thought we would get a dramatic shot and all AT LEAST#but seeing the bathroom made me actually cheer lol#ANYWAY THAT'S ALL FOR NOW I THINK.#waiting for bf's train to arrive hehe yipeeee
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