#this took me the entire day yesterday
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2071. Aftermath...
#cyberpunkaddict.png#oc: villiam bryant#virtual photography#male v#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk 2077 photomode#cyberpunk 2077 screenshots#cyberpunk 2077 v#cyberpunk 2077 oc#masc v#cyberpunk#videogamemen#cyberpunk v#v cyberpunk#dailygaming#dailyvideogames#gamingnetwork#cyberpunk2077#gaming photography#cyberpunk oc#technically Vills bday was yesterday july 2nd but it took me forever to finish this cuz perfectionist brain#soooo this is what happens the day after his bday ok hahahh#he had lots of fun chilling in jail the entire night with his friends lmao
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Hel in the underworld
(sharing some process pics under the cut)
initial pencil sketch, digital sketch to fix proportions and composition, pencil lines, and scanned pencil lines with more detail added digitally
#norse gods#norse mythology#hel#underworld#swan#death#digital art#this one was a fucking pain#its been forever since i attempted to paint something from imagination without reference#and it took me the entire day yesterday to get the light i wanted :')))#i nearly binned it out of frustration halfway through#but i persevered
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I drew the transformer equivalent to autism sonic
pov: him before the incident.
#Blurr#TFA#my art#transformers#I forgo to post this last night#he is so autism#this took me the entire day yesterday to make AUUUUEAA
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Featured Fic Friday!
Welcome to Featured Fic Friday! A day where I, or someone who suggests one, tell you about a fanfic that I really enjoy! Spoiler's under the cut! Today's featured fic is...
The One Where Sans Tells It Like It Is. (Or: The One Where Sans Is Number One Dunckle) by marauding_bagel (General Audiences, Complete)
When Toriel asked him to attend the meeting in her place for one night he thought it wouldn't be a big deal. Turns out Sans could not have been more wrong.
A bit of a short fic, there's a surprising lack of fics with this concept! Even still, I like the way the author exectues the idea! I loved reading comics similar to this fic when I was younger, so this threw me back a bit!
I enjoy the way the author writes the characters, & how they have them interact with each other!
Spoilers ahead!
I really like how the author includes some of the reactions from the unamed parents also at the meeting, having mentions of nods of agreement & cheering when Sans insults Helen's brownies!
#for once i actually picked this fic out yesterday#but then i proceeded to get distracted by several things#such as going through the entire utmvarchive blog from the beginning#mostly because i was interested in seeing if they had covered underlust yet#since i don't know much about it & wanna know more#but then i decided to go through all the posts starting with the very first one#this fandom is so amazing y'all#was no one going to tell me that seraphim sans is that interesting/cool#i've made it to horrortale at the time of writing this#boy is it such a difference from when i first encountered it#i used to be...well...horrified#well no actually it was more like terrified but still#i saw an opportunity & i took it#so that's why this is being written at a little after midnight the day of#coming back to edit this specifically because i read a bit further in the horrortale comic#yeah actually it's still terrifying#i'm pretty sure it's the eyes that are getting to me funnily enough#so i am putting on a playlist called bad bitch that reminds me of underlust sans & keeping my lights on#this is why i can't play horror games#fic rec#fic recommendation#ao3 fic recs#utmv#classic sans#sans undertale#pta sans#how is that not a tag#featured fic#mod sleepy
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ceebert deebert
#my art#fanart#starlight express#stex#cb the red caboose#the red caboose#red caboose stex#caboose stex#drew this yesterday and it took me literally the entire day because i kept getting distracted#got veryyyy lazy with the shading because of that lol#but yeah! boose!
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so not to be gross or anything, but my mucus is starting to turn yellowish and like, apparently this means your immune system is fighting off whatever illness you have, which is awesome, glad my immune system is trying to help me out
but that raises the question: if i'm on the 5th day of this cold and my snot is only just turning yellow, what the fuck was my immune system doing the first 4 days????
#yes. i am still sick.#the worst part is that with each day i feel better in one respect#but then there's also something else that gets worse#like yesterday my nose finally started running#which was great#the not great part? it's been running so much that i've almost gone through 2 boxes of tissues in under 24 hrs and i couldn't sleep#i got in bed around 10 pm and did not fall asleep until around 430 am#in the time it took me to fall asleep i read an entire 300 page book#but yeah. my immune system is apparently a dumb bitch
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#photo#unsanitary#we retreated them 2 days ago with a different formula#and I sprayed the hall outside our door yesterday#I combed them today and there was still some residual dirt but zero fleas!#they let me check pretty thoroughly too!#it only took an entire fucking month
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1. Ship is funny, I feel like March is; "eeeee" while Nino is "AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" energy😄asked for no pickles meme😅
2. Isn't it NinoLu? Maybe not, but I would call that, it's cute🥰
3. What does Chloe gives him?🤔
4. Uh, it's a very cute Aurora! And I love the outfit! Actually, could you do a (not cannon?) Outfit for her where she has this kind of top ... Idevenk what's this name, sorry😅, top clothing, being bue, representing a wawe or the dripping water going down from somebody who came out of water? (seal could work, but maybe with otter being brown -and if you do, please, keep it brown- the blue top would colour-popp better😅. If you made her a seal -or anyone in general- would you consider calling one user Selkie? It's a kind of seal-fairy, capable to changing to woman from seal and back wia a magical sea skin clothing😄)
Yes yes, exactly. The potential is incredible! Marc could help or even write scripts for Nino and Nino could be his beta reader for his stories. Nino is the ultimate supporter no one can convince me otherwise. I'm very tempted to do something with these two in MD.
I thought it was Nuka. Nothing comes up when I search Ninolu so idk
It's a coffee. It's his favorite but Chloe pretends the barista gave it to her accidentally and you know, he might as well drink it instead of throwing it away ;D
I'm an idiot, I just realized that you meant a hero costume and not actual civilian clothes xd. I'm gonna draw her with the otter, seal, and the phoenix later, I've been wanting to do that for a while
#i honestly wanna draw marc's fashion thingie too#but i should start writing the second chapter too#and do my homework xd#i was stuck for a while but i figured things out yesterday and write the entire synopsis in like three hours#i just checked#it was two hours and twenty minutes holy crap#the previous synopsis took me like a week and i got stuck in the middle so it wasn't done#the origins synopsis took me a few days#ask#miraculous ladybug#miraculous disaster au#nino lahiffe#aurore beaureal#marc anciel#marcnino
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Hello,
I realize that I haven’t really been “here” for roughly an entire year now. My last “me” post was right before coming into 2024.
In light of the recent election as of 2024–I was starkly reminded of my descent into madness, anger, bitterness and concern from the year 2016. I was still living at home with my parents, single and no kids. I thought the world as I knew it was coming to an end and I thought everyone I knew who voted for Trump weee backstabbing, bold faced liars; most of these people were my friends and it was disheartening to believe that if they supported someone like him but were playing cool to my face, who could I trust and believe in after all?
I disappeared from then and I found solace in the Naruto fandom, the only place I was able to quell my anger and hurt from the world and reality I was apart of. I will never take for granted the people I met during this time, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it for eternity: they saved my life.
Fast forward to 2024 and I am still single and living alone but this time it’s been 3 years since moving out and life is less hectic and different…but it’s better.
Most people don’t know that I entered into a relationship in August 2023 that was rushed and misaligned with everything I wanted and valued but I became desperate for partnership, acceptance and value. So I settled with someone who went on to teach me great lessons, mainly that you shouldn’t rush connections for anyone or any reason. I finally departed from that relationship as of September 2024 and slowly my world has come back into full bloom again, I’m not seeing everything in gray scale or feeling like an outsider looking in. I’m apart of my own life. I became my own main character.
That said, I also have been stable with my career for over a year now and this has allowed me to have fun money and take vacations! I recently visited Washington DC on a whim and I just so happened to be there before and after the US Election of 2024. Despite the bustling of the world on tv news and social medias; the home of where the President resides is actually fairly quaint and quiet. Many people didn’t voice their concerns or opinions about the election, many of them seemed to understand that this is just how the world works and we will have to fall in line. All that being said, I learned plenty about myself while on this trip and about life in general.
Having emotional intelligence will always save your life. No matter what situations you face or endure, even overcome, staying sharp and remaining emotionally adept is key. Nobody stormed the White House nor the Capital. People just slung their briefcases from one shoulder to the next and stood in line for the next approaching metro.
Life really does go on.
I wanted to share some pictures I had taken while on my 4 day vacation. I like these the most because the rest are pictures of the museums I went to, lol. However these are the only pictures I’ve taken of myself since January 2024.
Being in that rotten relationship really took so much out of me, it took away my light and my enthusiasm for the world and everything around me. I wasn’t taking pictures of myself or anyone else; I was just existing from one day to the next.
To see these photos and my sheer happiness and I can actively say I AM happy with my life and the way it’s going currently—feels like a milestone I actually want to commemorate, so I’m sharing them.
As this year comes to an end, please stay safe and golden. The election was sorely disappointing for a country as a whole but nonetheless we will persevere. We always have. Thanks for reading!
#me#personal#long post#selfie#my face#I haven’t felt happy or beautiful for an entire year#I wish I could explain what codependency depression does to you#your entire life flashes you by but you feel like your only purpose is to serve someone else#you just fade into the background of your own life#then you look up and it’s been an entire year and you have pictures from the previous year that you took and it feels like yesterday#but not in a good way#because it feels like while time has come and gone you have remained the same#frozen in time and in place#but because you were so desperate to have what everyone else has you settle for the first thing that comes along#and then you feel guilty and ashamed when it doesn’t work out because nothing ever works out for you#or so you tell yourself#but then one day you decide I don’t care what other people think or what other people have anymore#I want to live#this is my life and I only get one chance and screw being everyone’s else’s something#screw wanting the traditional life that people shove down your throat#you’re only 28 years old and you don’t have kids and you have been able to support yourself for almost 4 years#yet you feel like you owe the world something when really you owe nothing to anyone but you#you forgive yourself for not being where you THOUGHT you wanted to be and live life for YOU#you sit on your balcony reading horror stories and go to bed wrapped in pokemon sheets and you don’t care about feeling like a grown woman#you just want to be YOU and happy#you realize the apartment you’ve had for 4 years has been a space you kept wanting to accommodate other people in#so you made it a place that THEY would feel comfortable in#your home wasn’t even your home but because you thought you owed everyone else something#you didn’t notice#until the day you realize that your life is passing you by and you’re too busy feeling guilty for not being where everyone else is
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holy shit i think this past saturday was the first time in TEN ENTIRE MONTHS that i forgot to take my pills for a day
#I'VE NEVER BEEN THAT CONSISTENT BEFORE THAT'S A WILD RECORD#meds reminder app my beloved#i broke my streak BUT DAMN WAS THAT AN IMPRESSIVE STREAK!#and i took my meds yesterday i do know that#so I've only missed a single day since i started these in January#not counting the time my old psychiatrist refused to let me refill my meds in time so i had to take them every other day#bc i didn't want to run out too soon and just Stop Taking Them for a whole week so we did every other day instead#no longer seeing that entire FACILITY bc they were so fucking awful with this shit I just LEFT and my new one is much nicer#that shitty facility was the same one that trapped me in a room bc they didn't bother to make sure wheelchair users can open their doors#and i was in a fucking. windowless room with a heavy steel door and a lot of insulation bc it's supposed to be a private doctor chat room#which is honestly fucking STUPID that I'm expected to show up in person for an appointment#and then they stick me in a room to fucking VIDEO CALL the doctor#like. fucking. THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A FUCKING EMAIL#except replace email with just video call#they didn't need my vitals for anything they didn't need me there physically WHY WAS I STILL FORCED TO COME IN#JUST LET ME VIDEO CALL THE DOCTOR AT HOME LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK#and then they forgot me in the fucking call room and didn't let me out until i had my mom grab me#AND THEN THEY GOT MAD AT MY MOM FOR IT. THEY WERE LIKE 'you could've just called for us' I WAS FUCKING SCREAMING SOBBING#once i move far enough away from that facility to feel safe posting its location#I'm making a PSA post for anyone else in the area#bc holy FUCK that was awful and the fact that THAT'S the facility that our local hospital directs people to is absolutely INSANE
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it's insane how one terrible forty five second interaction can ruin the next entire day. anyway. i guess time to consume maximum amount of fluff and scroll through tumblr ad nauseam to try and take my mind of things.
#mattie gets personal#fucked up real bad last night#wasn't paying attention while walking#ended up walking by a bunch of harassers and for the entire time it took to walk by they were just being terrible#and now my anxiety is off the fucking charts#un fucking real#and i actually feel so bad because my friend followed me thru it#and the only reason we were going that way was because she was letting me lead#but i was just running on autopilot and NOT paying attention to our surroundings#and i should not have been responsible for that#by the time i realized what was happening like turning around would've been the same distance as just powering thru so i tanked it#but still#fucking terrible#i apologized to her so many times but i just feel like such an idiot#i'm just like#i never usually have to deal with that#because i'm typically paranoid as fuck and also look like teenage boy usually#but yesterday i was NOT paying attention to anything and also was in a very revealing outfit because it was a music festival#some dude followed me earlier in the day too#he only stopped when a guy friend i was with shouted at him to leave me alone#cuz obviously me telling him to fucking leave me alone didn't work#anyway. this is one of the reasons i dress like a teenage boy#not just the gender thing#this is the worst i abused the tags but no one reads these and i need to like put this into the world but not have it be consumed ukw i mea#cuz it's so normal i just like haven't had to deal with it before
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Putting on last year's trans rigs stream from Drawfee before i have to get ready to go out with my mum and her bf today (bc i have the worst feeling in my gut he's gonna make that An Thing for me if given the chance today, aka whenever i eventually need the restroom while we're at Mystic)
#text post#Housemate was amazing and helped me calm down a bit before ae went to work bc my brain woke up in meltdown mode over this tbh#it sucks bc like. im excited to see my mum despite the Everything with that lmao#but im not excited for how her bf has been acting since they got here (and it's been day 1 out of 7 days)#with some outright homophobic comments while Housemate and i hosted them briefly at our house yesterday afternoon#not abt us but like. i mean. u know we're both queer so#doesn't really matter if it's abt us or not it's still fucky and makes me worry abt how he's gonna be today!!#doesn't help that he really wanted to go to Italy with her instead this summer#(despite the passive aggressive complaints from him & mum to a degree abt how expensive it was for them to come out here)#(we're ignoring the fact that a European trip would be even more expensive lmao tho i do think if they want to/can afford it they should go)#like. the Vibe from him has just been that he'll be Just Polite Enough but that he didn't want to be here#and he doesn't expect to have any fun and it's like#dude i am Trying. i and Housemate have looked up stuff to do that includes things he likes (like guns and historical weapons)#we tried making comments abt that yesterday like hey u might like this but if there's anything u have in mind already#and he was just. whatever idc but then made comments that made it clear he's not excited for anything else#like museums or the beach for sea glass hunting or the bird sanctuary or even the zoo#and all have places to rest/sit plus restrooms and food so I don't think it's a worry abt facilities thing for him#i think he's just fed up that I'm still involved in my mum's life since i moved and like#yes there's a detangling of the umbilical cord i and my past therapist were trying to eventually get my mum to cut#since cutting it myself in any attempt has had her metaphorically taping it back together#but like. it's not entirely on me here. I'm trying to set boundaries and make sure she's giving him more attention than me since he's w/her#more than i am now#i know he's upset when she helps me financially too (i offer to pay her back but she always refuses it) bc she took me aside yesterday#to give me some cash for the time with them for souvenirs/fun stuff i might not buy otherwise bc im trying to be mindful of money#aka still waiting on money my fkn job should have already paid me like. a week or more ago now#he makes her happy so even if he hates me i still care abt his frustrating ass#and i do want him to have as much fun as he can while still relaxing during the trip out here#but i feel like im gonna have to physically shake him by the shoulders screaming this before he listens#and even if he listens he probably won't believe me#sorry for the tag essay the edible hasn't kicked in yet can u guys tell lmao
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i'm trying (read: re-learning almost from scratch) to make gifs for the first time in over a decade and good god, tumblr creators are doing that shit for free? WILD
#i took me my ENTIRE night shift at work yesterday to make a gif out of a 10 second clip#i know it's gonna get a bit easier from here now that i've gone over the basics#but knowing that the full video i want to make a gifset of is about a minute long is killing me#a friend told me the other day 'if you do something during work hours you're paid for it. napping while wfh? they paid you for it'#so yeah the only reason i don't feel like i lost hours to all that work i put in a mediocre gif is bc technically i'll be paid for it
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ANOTHER ONE
#my art#dnd oc#friend oc#kairos#getting lots of practice drawing fucked up FREAKS (affectionate) recently#also yes this lovely lady is from the same campaign as bell (zombie boy posted yesterday) and osiris lol#can you tell there's a sort of. death and undeath theme in that campaign#also i did thankfully have some feedback on this one since it's evie's character!! so hopefully somewhat more accurate lol#not entirely pleased with her face for some reason but i still like it#i am reminded of that one graph that shows talent and perception? yknow the one?#where as you grow more skilled there's a point where your perception of your art matches how good it really is#but then your skill doesn't necessarily grow with your perception of it so you start thinking your art is bad again#or that you're getting worse but it's still better than your previous art you're still getting better#idk i think that may be what's going on here lmao#i know this is decent and its much better than anything i was making even just a few months ago#but its still weird in my brain lol#or maybe im not too happy with it because i didnt spend a ton of time on it like i usually do on things like this?#this one took me like. 1 day total from sketch to finished product?#gathered reference images and started the sketch late monday night#did almost the whole thing yesterday and just added finishing touches today#so maybe i just didnt put enough effort into it idk#also also this is my 11th finished piece of the year#which is significant because in the ENTIRETY of last year i only made 11 finished digital art pieces LMAOOO#so in a month and a half i have done what i did in all of 2023 B)#a bit worried that im gonna burn out soon and not make art for a long time again but im feeling fine so far#other than the aforementioned slight displeasure with what im making now#hoping i can continue making good art all year!! or at least having fun making it even if it isn't good lmao
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Uhm
#I'm feeling like trash physically I really don't know what to do???#I have been struggling so much with eating recently but I thought it was normal because of the upcoming exam y'know?#Well yesterday I took the exam and yet the problem??? Didn't magically disappear like I thought??? And now I feel so betrayed??????#Yesterday I got takeaway at my favorite Chinese restaurant and that's a cup of noodles and eight dumplings#that's my usual order I always take‚ normally that's one meal#This time it took me?? Three meals to finish it??? Because after a while I just feel too nauseous to keep eating????????#So like. something is wrong™ but I really have no clue what it is or how to fix it...#Plus the entire day I've felt like crying for. no reason lmao. I'm literally crying right now and I have no idea why is that#I can't reason anything that is making me upset currently? So I'm there mentally looking at myself like *awkward monkey meme*#And my head hurts. Like something is wrong but I really can't tell what it is nnnggghhhh this is. not optimal#The worst part is that I feel so nauseous I can't imagine bringing myself to cook because cooking is already a tool alone#and now I'm also supposed to cook when I don't want to eat???? Like how can I convince myself to do that#But obviously I can't stop eating. Alas I STRUGGLE. The food in the fridge is going bad 😭😭😭#I made sure to change air in my room and I took a shower today so. I don't know what could be causing it really#Anyways if anyone can advice on eating when the thought of eating alone makes you feel nauseous I'll gratefully take it 😭😭#Not even snacks work btw I was eating nutella and pandoro and who wouldn't love nutella and pandoro#and yet I felt like gagging the whole time... Ugh#The actual worst part is that like this I don't have the strength to study but I really need to study for this huge exam the 14th#random rambles#eating disoder trigger warning#Why is that the recommend tag?? It's missing an r bestie????#eating disorder trigger warning#eating disorder tw#←← That makes it sound bigger than what it is please don't worry about me it's just a temporary issue!!#Using the tags just in case for blacklisting purposes
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i’ve been messaging this dude for a couple weeks, we haven’t met in person yet but i …… think he walked past me at the gym
#yesterday we were chatting and he mentioned he usually goes to the gym around 5am before work#and i usually leave at 5 but the other day i took my time and was late heading out#naturally i’ve been thinking abt this all day bc i DID take notice of a particular dude walking in on friday morning at that time#cuz he has white hair and is super fit and that’s … distinct#ahhh ! fuck my entire fucking life. wish i had been wearing my glasses that day#bc now i keep thinking about it & im like duhhh#i have fucking PINK HAIR he definitely saw me and that’s why he asked. oh my god how embarrassing .. i was really fucking around trying a#bunch of random shit with the kettlebells too like 😭 why didn’t he see me deadlifting bro that’s so sad#pegasus speaks#anyways we’re planning on getting coffee this week so whatever#ruh roh
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