#yes. i am still sick.
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so not to be gross or anything, but my mucus is starting to turn yellowish and like, apparently this means your immune system is fighting off whatever illness you have, which is awesome, glad my immune system is trying to help me out
but that raises the question: if i'm on the 5th day of this cold and my snot is only just turning yellow, what the fuck was my immune system doing the first 4 days????
#yes. i am still sick.#the worst part is that with each day i feel better in one respect#but then there's also something else that gets worse#like yesterday my nose finally started running#which was great#the not great part? it's been running so much that i've almost gone through 2 boxes of tissues in under 24 hrs and i couldn't sleep#i got in bed around 10 pm and did not fall asleep until around 430 am#in the time it took me to fall asleep i read an entire 300 page book#but yeah. my immune system is apparently a dumb bitch
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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is that disney-esque artstyle, peter parker look alike PILOT RANDY CUNNINGHAM???
also ngl i kinda dig Viceroy II and Deputy Mayor Kranski
+bonus Bible designs
#rc9gn#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja#randy cunningham#howard weinerman#listen i am still weak and sick and that pilot and bible leak have been killing me over the weekend lol#i never was a die-hard fan of vasquez artstyle. i think its fun and cool to draw but my personal style is closer to the disney-esque thing#but ive got to admit that rc9gn wouldnt be rc9gn without it. randy is memorable and iconic instead of being lost in disney-styled cartoons#pilot and final product are like two completely different worlds and im in love with both of them. it is now ninja-verse in my head#also i am pointing at pilot like di caprio meme because THAT is very validating for me personally cause i constantly say rc9gn is old 2000s#cartoon vibes and thats why i group it with shows like dp adjl and kp etc instead of cartoons from its own decade#ALSO x 2 i have now adopted Kranski and Viceroy II yes they are now canon in my rc9gn verse lol Judge is ok too but i am more into Kranski#who is straight up ready to murder. we love evil ladies in this house
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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literally got up from my bed while sick to cook up this vision i had that may explain reasons i like robinhill
dont they look alike im not delusional i swear they look alike i swear rIGHT THEYRE WHITNEY AND AMY CORE RIGHT
#very sane meeku behaviour#dol#dol pc#dol whitney#whitney the bully#amy the pure#hsr#hsr robin#hsr boothill#robinhill#degrees of lewdity#honkai star rail#i think im delulu (i always am; what are u blabbering abt miku)#i need more sleep; my head is dizzy from drawing this#mY EARS ARE RINGING BRO#yes im still sick dies#now i rot back onto my bed#i still have no shame bro#meeks museum
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Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.
Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):
In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.
It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]
The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]
Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]
In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]
In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]
Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.
#the murderbot diaries#murderbot#𓄿#hi i'm READY to write a thesis about murderbot i am having way too much fun with this#i created a pretty excel spreadsheet and everything#i don't know why i did this but now i can look at them while i think about this more! so i figured i'd share them haha#i didn't count uses of 'friendly' but special shoutout to when MB is all alone in its cold cubicle missing 20% of its body mass#and starts putting on a show because 'the friendly noise would keep it company' 😭😭#i feel sick thinking about murderbot all alone on its own not knowing what its like to have friends watching media for 'the friendly noise'#also YES okay i wanted to make a point about miki there but i just#couldn't bring myself to talk about that more so... yeah#also uhhh this data is very subjective#i didn't count particularly ironic uses of 'friend' and generally did not count every instance of friend and sometimes it was a hard call#also i probably shouldn't have counted the times murderbot refered to drones or secsystems as its friends (often after hacking them)#but murderbot does seem to care about them and shows kindness and respect and sometimes points out that a system is friendly#so while i don't think MB means “friend” in the same way referring to them as when it refers to ART for instance#i still think its CUTE and also kinda funny how many times that happened so i decided to keep those!!!#but yeah take my data with a grain of salt lol
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i'd like y'all to put some respect on my son's name
#yes i am still sick#these antibiotics are kicking my ass#in my feverish half-awake state this is all i can think about#twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst#twst riddle#twst wonderland riddle
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Me @ me when Michael Sheen and/or David Tennant
#let me clarify that i am NOT an rp girlie#however.........👀#these two are making it SO hard to be normal abt them#'but they ship themselves!' yes i KNOW but STILL ASKDKFJFKS#they are demons of temptation and i am but a humble mortal doing her best#(btw yes this is kind of abt the macbeth pics but i also just binged all of Staged for the first time last week while i was sick#so the timing is WILD)#rpf itself still squicks me out personally#but the heart ships what the heart ships and that's nunya business ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#michael sheen#david tennant#good omens#staged#macbeth#macbeth 2023#sheenant#shennant#mavid#dichael#???#idk what their ship name is lmao#they're both just SO charismatic and charming it's honestly stupid i fkn hate them 😭
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Hi, I just read through your Brother’s Keeper AU and I love it!! I was wondering what Eda thought of Lord Metanoy—if she thinks he’s faking it for propaganda purposes, or figured out that Belos is the one who hurt his brother, or thinks it’s something else entirely? And by extension, what does Luz think of him?
Brother's Keeper AU Story Post 13
Luz is still getting her bearings in this strange new world. Eda, meanwhile, has more pressing things to worry about, but she's suspicious of propaganda from the get-go.
AU MASTER POST
BEGINNING | PREVIOUS | NEXT
[Image ID under the cut]
[IMAGE ID: A black and white pencil-sketched comic. PANEL ONE: Luz, Eda, and King, perched on Eda's shoulder, have stopped on their way down the street. Eda carries a sale banner draped over one arm and Luz is holding a box of random human knick-knacks. Luz reads one of the propaganda posters with a picture of Caleb hunched in his wheelchair, reading: "REMEMBER METANOY'S MADNESS, BEWARE THE DANGERS OF WILD MAGIC." "Eda, what is this supposed to mean, anyway?" asks Luz. "Who is this guy?" "Ah, that's just old Mad Metanoy, the emperor's brother." answers Eda. She gestures wildly, eyes sarcastically wide. "They say, he went CRAZY from wild magic." PANEL TWO: Eda picks her teeth, unimpressed, hand on her hip. "With all this dumb coven stuff, though," she says. "I say it's the WORLD that's gone crazy and maybe he's the only sane one." On top of her head bounces a pair of novelty spring-loaded googly eye glasses. PANEL THREE: Luz looks up at the poster, concerned. "Haha, insanity!" exclaims King off-panel. PANEL FOUR: Eda and King continue on their way. "Hey, Eda," says King, one hand to his cheek, "will YOU cast a wild magic curse to drive MY enemies to madness?" "Sure thing, pal." she replies. "I'll let you know once I figure out how." Luz follows after them. In the foreground, the propaganda poster remains. /End ID]
#The Owl House#TOH#eda the owl lady#eda clawthorne#luz noceda#king clawthorne#Caleb Wittebane#Brother's Keeper AU#doodle art#doodlereply#no inking this time! there was nothing complex or dramatic enough to warrant it and my rule for this au is fun over perfectionism 👍#and yes i'm still busy with commissions and new hire paperwork but i'm sick of it and did this instead. i am the peak of responsibility
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#artists on tumblr#bungou stray dogs#bungou gay dogs#bungo stray dogs fanart#bungou sd#bungou stray dogs poe#bungou stray dogs ranpo#ranpo edogawa#bsd ranpo#ranpoe#ranpo fanart#ranpo x poe#bsd poe#poe bsd#bsd edgar allan poe#Edgar Allen Poe bsd#to they’re both aroace cuz I am in fact projecting hard and they’re special to me#yes they’re married no its not platonic yes it transcends friendship no it’s not romantic#also I gave Ed my earrings#I have bird skull earrings and they’re sick af so he gets me too#trying on makeup#they’re both also autistic 👁️👁️ (still projecting)
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Did anyone else get roped back into liking fnaf after the movie like that SpongeBob episode where Sandy lassos Patrick back to her and he explodes
#silly little personal thing I had to express haha#I probably do a decent job of hiding it#but i was really into fnaf when it came out#and now after several years of stepping away#im fully back into the universe again#I didn’t even know pizzeria simulator or help wanted or security breach existed#until like a month ago#and now im caught up on lore and DEVOURING FNAF CONTENT#so much new good music#so many animations#the vhs tapes are sick#the interviewed series is amazing if anyone else has watched that please talk to me about it#I am still a Kirby main on here yes haha#but when I love franchises I love VERY DEEPLY#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf movie#the silver eyes
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All wrapped in plankton
And glinting green
Drifting onwards
Through shifting seas
[x]
#click for better quality#yes hello I played below zero recently#cuz I was FUCKING SICK AGAIN#and I STILL AM AUGH#anyway I‘ll play the first game soon maybe I‘ll write an essay comparing them#there is many thoughts#morf's art#subnautica#subnatica below zero#glow whale#cosmo sheldrake#wild wet world#traditional art#digital art
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tiktok: nick nelsons mental health is overlooked!!! The show needs to focus on it more
me: *screaming crying throwing and breaking things*
#I AM SOOOO MAAF#THEY LITERALLY SAID THE SHOW SHOJLD FOCUS ON JT MORE#AND THATS IT OVERLOOKED CAUSE CHARLIES MORE OBVIOUS LIKE NOOOOO#NOOOOOO#WHAT MAKES CHARLIE RELATABLE IS THE WHOLE HES STILL TECHNICALLY FUNCTIONINGAN#AND THEN CRASHING#LIKE STFU#ITS NOT ABT NICK#NOT EVERYTHING JS ABT NICK#IM SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING THIS#STOP WATCHING#STOP READING IT#AHHHHHHHH#YES NICK MIGHT HAVE ANXIETY MAYBE#BUT CHARLIES BATTLE IS ON A DIFFERENT LEVEL#heartstopper#joe locke#charlie spring#nick nelson
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Au in which the elves, or at least legolas and thranduil and such, don’t treat Gandalf like an old man, and more like an age mate(?).
Listen, we all know that gandalf isn’t actually an old man, that he’s a maia in disguise, but bc he take the form of an old man, people treat him in such a way you would treat an old man.
It really fucks with people’s perception, even the ones who know he’s not an old man in the traditional sense can’t help but treat him like an elderly person.
Except the elves, well, some of them.
Imagine legolas just mindlessly throwing supplies at gandalf during the quest the way he would at a fellow soldier and the rest of the questers feeling like there’s something distinctly not right about treating gandalf in a manner similar to a middle aged adult, but also knowing that gandalf is not actually an old man.
Legolas teasing and ribbing gandalf in such a way that’s not like mentor/mentee / adult/child, etc. But more like a pair of warriors on a scouting mission and it fucks with everyone else’s perception of reality so much because yes, but also no?!??
Just legolas treating gandalf less like the old man he pretends to be (and the minor god he is) and more like a same aged fellow warrior and it’s messing with everyone who has to witness it.
#would this ever happen in canon? probably not#do i still laugh myself sick at the possibility?yes#gandalf looking like an old man has such an affect on how people treat him#A+ deception#and then you have the elves who aren’t fooled in the slightest#do you know how many old men theykve had to interact with that were still fetuses compared to them?#so many.#gandalf’s old man act has no affect on them#legolas just gen doesn’t give a shit#and finds the way it fucks with the questers lowkey amusing#i am also once again getting gandalf x legolas vibes from this post. oh well#lord of the rings#lotr#silmarillion#lotr elves#the hobbit#legolas#gandalf#legolas x gandalf#the 9 walkers#fellowship of the ring
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not me actually writing something and making it fucking sad
#yes this is about we met at the end of eden#I just wrote where John forces dean to cut his hair (it's a memory)#and ahhhh it made me so fucking emotional#and dean is currently crying about it in a dirty motel bathroom because his father conditioned him to buzzing his hair all the time#because even tho his father isn't around he still haunts him every day but dean is sick of his dad dictating his life#and yeah... I am not sure if I'm gonna keep it in the fic but we'll see#we met at the end of eden#txt.
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something something you do realize gale was a child too. being 18, 19 and legally classified as an adult doesn't take away the fact that there's a TEEN in there. a CHILD. gale's whole thing throughout the entire trilogy was to protect katniss & her family, even if he caused harm to her outside of that (which is ultimately his treatment of her as some sort of trophy/something to be had.) gale's reason for rebellion is because he's seen his home suffer. he's seen his home suffer for so long, he's seen his parents, siblings, best friend struggle. to bring down the capitol is a mission tied to his angry heart, and that anger burns even brighter when forced to evacuate 1000 people in a small, overpopulated district that is blazing with the cruelty of their oppressor's fire.
gale had every right to fight back, but it backfired when his rebellion became cruelty, too. designing the bombs to try and become a weapon for those he wanted to protect, and aiming fire in the wrong places. gale gets so so so much shit for being a flawed and nuanced character, and being boiled down to the "prim reaper" despite his justifications, despite his complexities even feels a little microagressive, considering characters such as PRESIDENT SNOW (arguably the most evil character in the trilogy) gets treated like a saint due to tbosas despite his cruel nature showing there. (he's also, what! white? in comparison to gale being an impoverished poc teen! huh!!)
gale is one of THE most hated characters in this fandom for, what? trying to survive? trying to war on an aching side that craves tranquility and a want to see another sunrise? not getting those means in the correct way, but still having a part in the end game. we could talk about gale as a PERSON, who is painfully messed up and happens to have a lot of moments where his character is unsavoury, but we can ALSO talk about gale as a fighter and a boy in a position of heroism— who is simply a boy in piled-on armour, foolish and naive in his brutish and millitant ideals and finds the cost of revenge a personal consequence (prim's death.)
#i'm tired i wrote this at like 1am so you're just going to have to act like this makes sense#but i am so sick of the gale hate hi#it's 2024 if we're all so mature than you should be able to understand him as a character while holding dislike for him#like yes!! you can hate him for his actions but don't dumb them down just because they resulted in prim's death#gale hawthorne#katniss everdeen#the hunger games#thg#catching fire#mockingjay#gale should not have been put into a place of such maturity#like NO. he was not innocent he is not devoid of accountability#but you GET HIM all wrong#he can still be at fault and be vulnerable too!!!!!!#thg analysis
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