#i never usually have to deal with that
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it's insane how one terrible forty five second interaction can ruin the next entire day. anyway. i guess time to consume maximum amount of fluff and scroll through tumblr ad nauseam to try and take my mind of things.
#mattie gets personal#fucked up real bad last night#wasn't paying attention while walking#ended up walking by a bunch of harassers and for the entire time it took to walk by they were just being terrible#and now my anxiety is off the fucking charts#un fucking real#and i actually feel so bad because my friend followed me thru it#and the only reason we were going that way was because she was letting me lead#but i was just running on autopilot and NOT paying attention to our surroundings#and i should not have been responsible for that#by the time i realized what was happening like turning around would've been the same distance as just powering thru so i tanked it#but still#fucking terrible#i apologized to her so many times but i just feel like such an idiot#i'm just like#i never usually have to deal with that#because i'm typically paranoid as fuck and also look like teenage boy usually#but yesterday i was NOT paying attention to anything and also was in a very revealing outfit because it was a music festival#some dude followed me earlier in the day too#he only stopped when a guy friend i was with shouted at him to leave me alone#cuz obviously me telling him to fucking leave me alone didn't work#anyway. this is one of the reasons i dress like a teenage boy#not just the gender thing#this is the worst i abused the tags but no one reads these and i need to like put this into the world but not have it be consumed ukw i mea#cuz it's so normal i just like haven't had to deal with it before
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this is probably one of my favorite outfits that i've ever put together! and it's all for one of my top five fav character designs, like... Ever!
rambles:
i would like to note that my dear beloved Jaime (@/awkwardalphajay here on our very own hellsite<3 check em out <3) helped out a Ton by sending inspiration photos and providing insightful commentary on details and vibes!
overall i wanted Sally to have fancy vibes! while i was originally going to have her fit very much based on her canon one, i wound up veering off course and - while still keeping some elements - mostly went for Medieval Entertainer and Her House insp! continuing with the day/night theme, and leaning heavily into the fire aspect - she's a literal star fallen to earth, after all!
it was suggested that she should have dragonscale used in the making of her clothes since she's, you know, kind of made of fire! and it was genius! I imagine she has extra fire charms on this fit and also the rest of her clothes, since dragonscale is hard to come by and is a finite resource once Gathered. she gets better at Not burning everything she wears over time, thankfully!
i think that, like Frank, she'd have One (1) Dagger. for emergencies! it's likely very ornate, and she'd hate to scuff up the gleaming blade. Probably. plus, why would she need it? she's got firepower, babey!
there isn't quite as much to say about this as usual... mostly because this one was more Vibes than strategic "ok this and this and this because this and also-" i was just! makin a fun outfit!
#i usually dont love what i make. but i love this <3#its such a fun outfit!!! i think i'd wear this!#and the fire came out nicely#and i didnt struggle half as much with her points as i usually do#and AGH i just love her i love her i love her#if barnaby wasnt my absolute top fav. i think the spot would go to her#SHE'S SOOOOOOOO <3#sorry. sorry. getting into my sally feels#scribble salad#wh fantasy au#i can so clearly picture her hunched over her notebook#just realized she'd never have to deal with trying to write/read in the darkness#bbg not only glows but in this au! she's her own candle! she's a walking flamethrower!#i imagine that she's in charge of the nightly campfire when the group is roughin it#her warm drinks & soups would never get cold...#i can picture wally handing over his Uneaten bowl just so that she can warm it up for him to enjoy again#how often does she accidentally catch things on fire i wonder...
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day 192
a break from artfight for some good news! i have finally scheduled a surgical consult to have my enemy (read: uterus) removed. this is a bit of a scarier prospect than my breast reduction was, but i think it will be an equally impactful quality of life improvement when all is said and done!!
anyway those of yall who have been here since the beginning may remember me posting through that whole process so i figure why stop now.
#day 192#year 5#it me#cw gore#cw blood#cw... anthropomorphic uterus?????#hysterectomy#anyway much like the tit surgery this is both gender affirming and ALSO fixing a health problem that has been gnawing at me for years#never been confirmed but we suspect i have pcos and the usual medication regimen for that hasnt been managing things very well#SO suffice it to say my periods are logistically and mentally extremely fucking difficult to manage#always have been but since my thyroid problems began about a decade ago they've become horrible AND unpredictable#frankly im fuckin sick of it and going on T for the 6 months i did gave me SUCH a nice break from it all#that as things have started back up it has been made EXTREMELY clear what a huge burden i have been dealing with this whole time#basically i dont want to go back on T right now im happy where im at. BUT. the thought of having to have periods like this#for like 20-30 more years is rapidly becoming un fucking bearable#SO. we yoink that thang asunder
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deep in the mines of solavellan playlists on spotify trying to pick a few songs to steal and wow do i not belong here. i’m sorry but a breathy woman crooning over 3 notes at 15bpm is simply not gonna do it for me
#i need lyrical cohesion but ALSO a real melody and instruments please please please. just let me have a reasonable bpm#who ARE all these all-caps artists on spotify i’ve never heard of before but who all seem identical#im beginning to suspect it is some sort of scam or industry plant deal#anyway sorry i am usually a lover not a hater but boy. i know i have diff music tastes than most of fandom#but the gap is so much wider than i thought#ramblings#no offense to anyone who likes that sort of music but i sure don’t#at least we can all agree on Howl. thank u florence for everything you do for this fandom#solavellan playlist
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the relationship between the chantry and the mortalitasi in nevarra is SO fucking funny. the carefully politic and civil syncretism of it all. the ‘I’ll refrain from scratching your back to bloody shreds if you refrain from scratching mine :)’. left hand politely averting its eyes from whatever the fuck the right hand is doing merrily up to its elbow in entrails because it usually knows what it’s doing I guess. speak softly, and have an army of the restless dead ready to go banapants horrorshow bonkers if you don’t get to tend to them. We Receive: being able to keep doing our goth thing mostly unimpeded. You receive: us not raising the great majority to protest your unwelcome meddling. render unto the chantry what is the chantry's and unto the watchers what is theirs (or, with all possible courtesy you understand, else…)
#dragon age#nevarra#mortalitasi#a watcher's work is never done#The maker may take the souls but someone still has to care for the graves#the necropolis is such a trump card for the nevarran mages when you think about it -- try to annul the mortalitasi?#soon you'll have some VERY unpleasant things starting to come up from underground and no one who knows how to deal with it#that place has grown and been built upon itself for like a thousand years at this point hope you're good with surprises with no guide#it's not grey wardens in a blight levels of immunity granted but it's up there. thedas realpolitik hits different idk what to tell you#the idea that the ‘higher dead’ are the original souls lingering after death must be getting spicily close to heresy right#even more so than the mortalitasi usually get I mean#Poor Cassandra. Imagine being born a jock among goth nerds no wonder the religion got to her#if her parents had lived she could have been a hotheated dashing noble getting in righteous duels but instead. her uncle. alas.#I jest but I really am so interested in seeing more of nevarra to understand even more of where she's coming from originally#I'm visiting my wife's folks for the first time I'm really excited :) (I do think my adaar would find it fascinating actually so. sry cass)
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Do you ever think about how there totally could have been an old classmate of Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth in the audience during like turnabout sister or turnabout samurai. Do you think they would realize? Like “hey, were those the guys in my class in like fourth grade? I kinda remember them. Wonder if they remember each other. But it was so long ago, I doubt they would even care.” Meanwhile Edgeworth and Phoenix are undergoing the most insane mental battles where both of them are going “I recognize my best friend across the courtroom and I desperately want to be close with them again.” And “god he is so god damn annoying I wish he would die already.”
#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#Phoenix Wright#not specifically ship so I won’t tag it but kinda ship if you get it#the classmate usually sits in courtroom trials because they love the drama#and honestly they like miles Edgeworth’s cases cause ‘hey I know that guy’#but of course they don’t like go up and talk to him cause they weren’t really that close and he left kinda abruptly#cause knowing someone for like a year in elementary school and then pestering them about why they left 15 years later is a weird thing to do#course Phoenix comes in and now the classmate now has to deal with the knowledge that the defense and prosecution used to always eat lunch#together and play superhero’s during recess with that really weird kid who was always up to no good#what if one day the classmate was like ‘maybe I should introduce them to each other again. sure that we would all get a laugh or two in and-#-that would be the end of it and they would continue with their lives as normal people. they certainly wouldn’t get super gay and awkward-#-about the whole thing and just be completely chill.’#god what would happen and Edgeworth v state?#the classmate would probably leave the third day like ‘I am a changed person. I can never go back to not knowing so much about this person.’#and like they wouldn’t be able to say or do anything cause like??? how do you even have that conversation???#‘hey I know you don’t remember me but I like sitting in the audience of courtroom trials and I was there for your case and I just want to-#-ask are you good? like honestly do you need someone to talk to?’
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blinks another jack drawing while i suffer in roblox free draw
#borderlands#handsome jack#my art#me cross-posting as usual but never linking back#i need to draw him more so i can draw his hair easier cuz i hate this fuckers hair sm#also hi incorrect markings i do not have the patience to deal with roblox to fix it
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Doof 101 was THE superior post pnf timeline and had the most potential for continuation actually
#and thats how i know theyll never bring it up again baybeeeeee#</3#the kids in school pulling their usual nonsense???#doof as a high school science teacher????#vanessa candace stacy and jeremy all in high school together???#perry having to come there lik every day to deal with whatever insane thing happened?????#stacy distracting candace for him????????#the insane thing happening at the high school resulting in the clean up of whatever the kids did at their school?????#also norm should b a student in the high school too i think#it all literally writes itself we couldve had it all#phineas and ferb#candys pnf posting#anyway sorry to b insane i havent even gotten to this episode yet
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the major arcana, shuffled: 4/??
THE HIGH PRIESTESS; ⤉ spirituality, higher power, mystery, subconscious ⤈ hidden motives, secrets, repressed intuition, cognitive dissonance THE EMPRESS; ⤉ motherhood, femininity, nurturing, harmony ⤈ smothering, negligence, lack of growth, insecurity THE EMPEROR; ⤉ fatherhood, structure, authority, control ⤈ tyranny, domination, recklessness, rigidity
#oh boy a 3 for 1 deal!!!#ty to fheythfully for your portrait tutorial!! :D#my game crashed when i was making this and i was about ready to pass away#the idea for this was 'haunted family paintings' with a dash of dorian gray#i intentionally fucked up the facial expressions with crimes & used photoshop filters to achieve the decaying effect of the reverse#for the people who don't know the tatlongharis (aka paris' maternal family via andromache):#the priestess is their aunt cassandra / the empress is their grandma hecuba / the emperor is their grandad priam#paris never met their grandma because she died way before paris was born#how did she die? priam accidentally caused her death but she (and cassandra) predicted she would die b/c they have the echo#so there you go :)#also i tried to match the crowns to the card names but i don't think i got close lol#body horror cw#just in case#notice how hecuba's face is all mangled while priam's flesh is wasting away. like the rotten corpse he is#as per usual flip your phone around to see the reverse sides#mygposes.#ffxiv:tma#ffxivsnaps#gposers#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv oc#hyur
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would you like to see this comic I drew 2 years ago and then didn’t post publicly because I decided it was too spicy for my brand
#hades#zagreus#meg hades#to be clear my brand gets much spicier than this i was just mid book deal with a kids publisher#still obsessed with the hades soundtrack and visual design.........#also games like that NEVER usually have a mode easy enough for me to play w my illness. ty hades im excited for 2
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so about the new ishmael ego
I like her. I could say more but that would be another post. Look at the background. This part specifically.
There's a private beach roped off here. It looks pristine compared to the polluted waters Ishmael's boat is in. Hell, the water is green over here.
Makes me wonder if sections of the lake are roped off for nest-dwellers only. And these beaches are kept clean, meanwhile on the other side of the ropes, the beach seems to be an industrial waste dumping ground.
#limbus company#i live near the great lakes so in the summer we'd go to lake michigan a lot and. the people who own private beaches do rope them off.#and would also dump their trash on the public beach#and even when they put trash cans on the beach the people who had private beaches would dump so much that they'd usually be overflowing#IF YOU'RE RICH ENOUGH TO OWN A PRIVATE BEACH USE YOUR OWN TRASH CAN#especially if you're going to yell at any children who go a foot past your fucking “private property no trespassing” sign#i harbor a great deal of spite for people who own beach houses or lake houses#like yeah i bet you have a second house that you never shut up about. i get it you have money.#... i think these random unrelated rambles in the tags are just a feature of my original posts now
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Good morning to Neil Gaiman, who just gave me a small panic attack for liking my meta post where I proclaim Hob Gadling is a queer romantic and that the show should lean into his relationship with Jim as a trans man and imply that he comes across so lovely in the show because Dream has a crush... 👀
#the sandman#hob gadling#i always assume he'll never find my stuff#so when he does its like aaahhhh!#i am usually very against creators seeing my meta#but thats cos ive spent 7 years in spn fandom#having to deal with creators taking the piss and treating fans like shit#being in gaimanverse fandom is a refreshing change#even if the thought of neil reading my meta is terrifying!
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hiya l'il-- medium?...large?? Assorted Sizes-Guy
oh thanks! i could always use more spices-
. what am i supposed to do with this.
#surrounded by henchmen (smaller Me's) i peer reproachfully into my inbox#2: ...get him pregnant?#*slaps 2 upside the head* you absolute GOON he's ALREADY pregnant we can't get him DOUBLE pregnant#2: well... why not? if creatures can have two uteri then i don't see why--#Me: *drags my hand down my face* yes i know but. just. dont#3: Picture this. your snake wife is so full and round (because who knows how many snakelets are in there)#3: one day he has to stop working much earlier than usual. u kno. cuz of the MASS. and he starts getting insecure about his body changes#3: so he touches his tummy . looks up at you with those big eyes and murmurs 'am i... unsightly like this?'#3: and u whisper reassurances to him while kissing his face#3: then u promptly rail him on the nearest comfortable surface to erase any doubt of him being unattractive#Me: ..............WHAT THE FUFK?#3: *shrugs aggressively while maintaining eye contact*#Me: NO. pregnancy isn't even our kink. why are we-#3: not YOUR kink maybe#Me: *incredulous stare* how the-- you know what . Go to the timeout zone. i'm not dealing with this today#4: the ask says 'snakumo' though. Wouldn't he be in snake form then...?#3: so? THIS CHANGES NOTHING.#Me: GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#3: *rolls eyes and mutters while walking away*#5: who's greg?#4: dude you can't be serious. if WE know the meme then YOU know the meme#5: i'm serious. i haven't been online in 16 years#4: look. when you wonder if sex will hurt baby top of head-#Me: WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING THIS?#2: because we are currently engaged in a circle of ppl squicked by pregnancy... who must make pregnancy jokes#4: it's all about the joke potential ya see. gigglemaxxing#Me: *massaging my temples* i'm not ready to be a father. i never will be.#6: KNOCK HIM UP AND EAT HIS EGGS SO U CAN KNOCK HIM UP AGAIN. NO ONE SAID YOU HAVE TO BE A FATHER !#3: (muffled from a distance) HELL YEAH BROTHER#Me: SHUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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mulder not owning a bed is such a minor character detail that’s encompassing of practically the entirety of who he is, which is so crazy honestly
#chris carter’s faustian deal etc etc#he does not ever stop he does not ever rest he does not ever sleep#he does not allow himself a moment’s comfort or affection or softness#and the thing is that you don’t even know he doesn’t have a bed at first#you just kind of notice that you never see him sleep#unless it’s on the couch in his clothes with the tv on#but then they kind of poke fun at it#like van blundt’s ‘where do i SLEEP?’ in his apartment#and the first ever peek into his bedroom in s6#that he does have one#it’s just stacked floor to ceiling with boxes#and it's so strange and unusual that it stands out in a way that makes you HAVE to clock these things about him#that he usually can try to hide in a well placed joke or reassuring smile#behind a shut door when there are lamps and blankets and framed artwork in the main room#he’s so outwardly kind and gentle that you don’t see it at first#the extent of how self-punishing and driven mad with guilt he is#until the show opens a door and almost points and laughs
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I think.. this is so embarrassing but so funny. I'll just put it in the tags.
Post warning for me being a nonbinary afab person. Those who get it will get it.
#i was trying to watch jjk season 2 on Crunchyroll#and#and...#i couldnt stop breaking down to cry#ON THE FIRST EPISODE#Because i couldnt get past how pretty..#gojo was 💀#AND THE ART AND ITS SUPER GOOD TOO BUT#I just started crying out of like sadness and frustration because he is so pretty and i hate that everyones right#im SERIOUSLY over exaggerating right now#but i told my sibling about it and they joked with me that#my period really was coming soon considering some people cry alot easier when it does#and usually i never deal with that when i have mine#but its been happening recently and it triggered i guess lmao#and i cried over gojo#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#anime#manga#gojo satoru
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something really funny to me about my mom really thinking i wanted to become a therapist because i'm taking psychology & have like 2-3 psych books
i would genuinely be The Worst therapist i simply wouldn't be able to care about any of my patients . i would believe i am better than my patients . it would be a circus .
#cluster b#npd#bpd#i just have a special interest in psychiatry. sociology mostly. i'm Only in this class for the sociology#even then i disagree with a lot of things in psychiatry#have been dealing with mental health systems since i was 9 and all it has done is make me absolutely despise it all#i get the feeling she thinks i'm a “i'm so inspired by the treatment i've recieved that i'm gonna pursue this career path!!” on the contrary#i feel like if i became a therapist it'd be a moral failing on my end because of how much i've hated this system#if i became a therapist i would hate every minute of it for numerous different reasons#it's saying a lot to say ive never once considered becoming a therapist when i consider everything else from animation to archaeology#also when i say i have “low empathy” i don't mean “oh i can feel empathy in multiple situations it's just a very minor amount” i mean#that it's rare for me to have empathy. i cannot even reliably experience empathy with my ep or fp and when i do it's usually very minor#i'd be better suited as a brain surgeon before being in charge of somebody's mental health 💀💀💀
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