#but I did not post anything about them on the internet because I’m a decent human being who doesn’t talk shit about children

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I agree that we educators need a place to vent about our jobs, online places as well… but I draw the line at recording yourself interacting with a student who is clearly disregulated. I don’t care if you can’t see the student and can only hear their voice; you are recording their voice during a vulnerable moment. That’s almost on-par with autism parents recording their autistic children having a meltdown. I don’t care how much of an asshole your student is; you don’t do that.

[marcusbrutus]

I feel like I have a tumblr anon in my brain…. Like a tiny cop. But it’s an chronically online anonymous weirdo. And every thought I have, I get “anons” telling me how it’s problematic and I should kill my self LOL The other morning I saw an RFK sign and I thought doesn’t he have brain worms, someone running for president shouldn't have brain worms. maybe apply for literally any other job. and the anon was like ummm ableist much? Like WHAT. I turned off anon on tumblr a while ago, so even if I post something “risky”, someone will have to tell me what they think to my face. They can’t hide. Even posts I think are innocuous can be wildly misinterpreted, and someone will probably call me problematic. But even if no one says anything, I still hear it. In my brain. Sometimes I delete things because the thought is so strong. I’m probably not gonna make it to any heaven or enlightenment because I can’t forgive yourfaveisproblematic. In my mind, Tumblr was great before then, or at least it felt that way, and that blog sewed the seeds for cancel culture in the future. That stuff sticks to my brain, even if I don’t want it too. When you put sins like "said disabled people shouldn't be alive" on the same level as "has a tattoo in a language they don't natively speak," it is very confusing to a people-pleasing undiagnosed autistic 14 year old. I felt/feel like I can’t like anyone or anything because it’s ~problematic~ I worry it will never go away, because it affected me in my developing years, 14-19 I want to get better, but it’s hard. I wish I could run from the internet, but I can’t. It’s a part of life now. It’s how we stay connected. But it’s also like…. Idk. The internet used to be my safe space, right? Deviantart. Early tumblr. Seeing weird people like me made me feel less alone. I was a weeb surrounded by “preps” for lack of a better word, not that I didn’t have friends but NONE of them were into what I was into, you know? And no one became as obsessive about things like books and anime like I did, except online. But now it’s like, idk, corruption of the garden of Eden. But instead of me eating the fruit, the garden/internet ate the fruit. The world is too different now… I can’t keep up. And it’s not just because I’m getting older. Things happen faster now. Trends will last half a year when in the past they would have lasted a decade. I hate knowing everything all of the time. I hate that my garden is now a cesspool.

I’m just angry that people on tumblr and lefty spaces online are so blind to their own propaganda, and calling it out is “hate.” Like idk, I guess I expected better from people who are supposed to be ~intellectuals~. Well, if YouTube video essays have taught me anything, style over substance goes a LONG way. And they’re like “oh we’re so compassionate and we want a better future” but they tell everyone to kill themselves and laugh when red states get devastated by natural disasters it's not just that but it's like…. if you're not constantly aware of everything, you're ~part ofthe problem~ #wakeupamerica. silence is violence, blah blah blah. it's just hard because i grew up with a strict dad so learned to be a people pleaser. i'm extremely sensitive to guilt and shame. and all most of the internet has done since 2014 is shame everyone for everything. you're either with Us (good, pure, morally righteous) or you're with Them (problematic, evil). you don't want to be gasp problematic, do you? you don't want to have a callout post made about you and lose all your friends, right? well, keep you nose clean and reblog all the right posts so we know which side you're on an maybe, maybe we'll leave you alone. i have the stress of someone in debt to a mob boss. nah it's more like… i have the stress of everyone in the scarlet letter and im hoping everyone will keep their eyes on the Villain of the Week and leave me alone there's a decent video called "how to radicalize a normie." i say decent because it treats radicalization like a right-wing only issue and the "answer" to right wing radicalization is, of course left wing radicalization. "Even though they're on the bad, evil side, there's still hope because we can get them to our good, morally righteous side!" That kinda bs, and I say bs not in a left vs right way. According to my dad I'm a full blown communist! I'm saying it in the sense that the answer to radicalization isn't "just radicalize them to the other side." That's not at all helpful. You might as well tell an alcoholic who likes jameson to just switch to jack daniels. It's all poison, it's all harmful. ANYWAY, he talks about how most people don't set out to be radicalized, the politics comes to them. That happened to me - but on the left. And I'm sure if I left a comment on his video saying as much, he'd say it didn't happen or say it was a good thing. On tumblr, I came for anime. And for the first year, I got anime. But then I got really intense political stuff. "silence is violence." "i see you not reblogging this." "if you're not angry, you're not paying attention." I was 14-15, sheltered as fuck, I don't know anything about the world but now tumblr is convincing me that I know more about political issues than anyone. And it changed me. And it fucked me up. and I want to get unfucked. But I don't know how. I feel like an internet alcoholic. Like, even if I do stop using it, it will still be there, haunting me, forever, you know? because all my friends use it, not just you guys but irl friends. and the internet is effecting the real world. I miss the days when there was the internet, then there was reality. but now the internet is the reality. That's why I also fell so hard for the [REDACTED] stuff. Tumblr made me think everyone was [REDACTED] because like 99% of tumblr is [REDACTED], and I was worried about it because god help you if you question anything or show the slightest bit of concern. God help you if you're not full steam ahead on everything. I want to escape the matrix. I hate the hypocrisy…. And I hate even more that I’m also a hypocrite. I fall for group think and propaganda but act like I’m above it all. I hate social media but use it every day. YouTube too. I guess that’s why I get so mad when I see them act like that. It reminds me of me. People think the consequences of social media on a teenage girl are like "omg I was feeling good about myself….. but then I saw a model on Instagram… alas. I will never be her. I weep."

But it's more like: Oh my gosh, I just saw a post asking for mutual aid (aka MONEY, BABY) and I scrolled past. What if they died because they couldn’t afford food because I didn’t reblog their post? But what if I DID reblog their post, but it was a scam, and I led my followers to give money to someone who didn’t need it instead of someone who did?

I was hoping to share more examples, but I'm worried someone will misinterpret, and even though anon is off, the anon in my brain is on. always. on. i keep going back to the internet because i keep expecting it to get good again… like how it was. for some reason, i can't accept that it will no longer be my safe space. i wish i had a massive angel to keep me out, or something. like the actual garden of eden. I have to accept that it will never get better. I have not only an addiction to the internet, but to the obsessive thoughts it brings. By wishing it will get better, and continuing to use it, I am chasing a dragon. That is to say, I'm hoping for the same feelings I got from initially using the internet. No one ever catches the dragon. anyway, if you read all that... thank you so much! i'm taking a break from the internet, until mid november at least. maybe by then, it will be better. or not. we'll see.

[swindle-comic]

As Swindle comes off of hiatus, I (Artsy) would just like to say a few things.

I firstly just want to say a big personal thank you to everyone who’s been so patient during this hiatus. I’ve been dealing with a lot over the months that this comic hasn’t been updating and I’m still just keeping my head above water as it is. To those who are so empathetic, so kind, so understanding, thank you. You guys are a big reason why I continue working on this comic, and I am really excited for you to see where the story goes.

Lord knows that I’ve dedicated more than enough time complaining about the small but vocal group of people who have been rude - sometimes excessively so - to both Lolly and I as we work on this comic, and I’d like to not spend a terribly long time dwelling on it, here. I probably won’t mention if for a long while after this post. At the same time, it’s worth noting that we’ve done a lot to try to discourage and manage this behavior with... mixed results. We’ve blocked people for repeated rude behavior, we’ve banned people from our Discord server for rude behavior, we’ve closed our askbox during the hiatus, we’ve introduced an FAQ - and people have evaded being blocked by making throwaway accounts, and we’ve had an incident of an individual making a new Discord account to evade a ban, and people don’t read our FAQ. It’s all really frustrating.

I think, for now, at least, we’re going to only open our askbox to non-anons - though this won’t do too much to prevent throwaways, it’ll at least convolute the means through which people can harass us. So apologies to the shy but kind individuals who had been using anon peacefully, maybe sometime we’ll open it back up again.

Additionally, I’ll like to just once again ask for anyone who hasn’t to check out FAQ, please. It’s in our pinned post for a reason.

Somewhat related to that - mostly that it’s something that’s been covered in the FAQ, is that I’ve noticed an increasing number of people who have been saying they discovered the comic via re-uploads on tiktok and pintrest.

And. Wow. That hurts. It hurts to know, to think about. I know it’s inevitable, trust me, I know this is just the inevitable result of posting anything on the internet, but god, it sucks.

I don’t know how many of you following this blog are artists, but it’s a big long topic that I don’t really have the space or patience to lay out for all of you in this post - this is art theft. We do not allow, we say it right in our FAQ point-blank, we do not allow people to reupload the comic elsewhere. Dubs are fine, again, we’ve covered this, they’re transformative, they offer an experience unique to just reading the comic. But un-voiced reuploads that do nothing but present the comic in a slideshow? That’s stealing. It’s hurtful, and it’s wrong. Both Lolly and I have dealt many times with our work being stolen and we’ve made our stances on reuploads of our work pretty clear on our own blogs.

Please, if you see someone doing this, report them. The only “official” accounts for the comic are this blog and our promotional Instagram page, swindle.comic. If an account is uploading the comic, un-dubbed, they do no have permission to do so, and they need to be reported.

I really don’t expect this to be the last time I have to say something like this or about this, because I know that this comic is going to take a long time to complete and so we’ll always have newcomers who can’t reasonably be asked to sift through the entire blog for posts like these. But for now, I hope it helps keep the interaction with this comic more respectful. I don’t think the people who do this stuff even realize that their behavior literally makes this comic more draining to work on than it should be (which leads to more burnout and hiatuses) - or I wouldn’t be making posts like this at all, because if they did know, they therefore wouldn’t care, and telling them would be pointless. So I hope this serves as a decent reminder that we’re human beings, and we and our work deserves to be respected.

[morlock-holmes]

The people you’re arguing with re: pre-modern quality of life, are all broadly rationalist-adjacent, and are therefore deeply committed to arch-Whig-History and will never concede that anything was better for anyone ever before this exact moment in time.

for what it’s worth, I get your point - comparative social status is really great, and people who had a lot of it might’ve been very unwilling to give it up in order to certain material benefits of industrial society.

For a total no-brainer post-industrial example - anyone who’d trade being a trust fund playboy in the early 20th century for being a lower income wage worker today is a fool. There is no way you could legitimately argue that the internet is better than a life of relative leisure, high status, and wealth.

the further back you go, the trickier the argument gets, due to things like antibiotics, motorized transport, etc all being pretty handy, but I absolutely would go to bat that the median Regency English gentry or noble had a better quality of life than the median lower income American, in many respects.

go back to the Iron Age, gets a little trickier, but idk, I might still say that a high status Viking leader had a better life than I do, but it’s a smaller chunk of society the further back you go. Wealthy Romans seemed to be having a pretty decent time, tbh

I do think I’m more sensitive to relative status than some people. That said, I also think a lot of the Whig History fans I’ve known were part of the current socioeconomic top 10% and just didn’t realize how much it sucks to not have that status. Especially looking at a guy like John Green going in on it, like yeah John, of course you don’t rate being nationally known and respected for making a living pursuing your life’s passion, you’re doing that now

Well, I have another side to things, though you get most of it.

I mean, I don't want to overestimate wealth here. Part of my point is *also* that, assuming what we read of Diogenes is true, he was probably more fulfilled as a human being than Elon Musk, and Elon Musk is the world's richest man in the safest and most technologically advanced time in human history while Diogenes lived in a god damn jug.

Like, people who idealize or become nostalgic about the past are very, very often asking,

"Why do I feel so [angry/tired/hopeless/trapped] despite the fact that I have easy access to [insert material comfort here]"

And the response is very often to say, "Because you are fundamentally irrational. [Insert material comfort here] is actually the most important advancement in all of human history."

Like, in that conversation one person says,

"You live better than anybody in pre-industrial times."

And when I say, "Well, I don't know, Leonard Da Vinci and Gengis Khan seemed like they did okay"

A second person comes along to say,

"Well, those are inherently scarce positional goods, you can't expect social advances to make those more prevalent, what modernity actually gives us is travel, a library, a well-stocked sewing room, a hundred paintings you painted yourself"

And when I say, "Yeah I don't have that stuff either" a third person says,

"Yeah, obviously you can't expect to get that stuff, modernity gives you flush toilets, iPads and childhood vaccines."

And first of all yeah, I know, I said that, and second:

*Boy* have these rose-y eyed optimists spent a *lot* of time telling me what sorts of human pleasures I really ought to stop expecting to have more of.

I mean "wasn't stillborn" is quite literally the *absolute bare minimum* that a person can expect out of life.

Remember how in the 50s some kid would hate peas, and his parents would force him to eat them and if he complained they'd say, "You ought to be grateful for those peas, there are starving children in Africa"?

Turns out that "You'd better learn to be thankful for this because it's all you're gonna get and you could have it a lot worse" isn't actually optimistic or empowering.

And that sentiment lurks just below the surface of a lot of these odes to modernity.

PS - If you asked that pea hating child whether he would want to trade places with that starving African child he might well say, "Well, at least *he* isn't being forced to eat these awful peas!" and I think there is some justice to that response even if it doesn't represent a literal desire to experience a famine.

[6leggedhorse]

Pagan Portal Loki: Trickster and Transformer Book Review

TRIGGER: Blood/blood magic

So, you may have heard of the author Dagulf Loptson, the author of the book mentioned in the title. Now when I first learned that Loki has T-posed into my life, I wanted to learn as much as I could about them. This book was the first book I sunk my teeth into; I craved the knowledge I was missing to fill this void I had in my head.

Who is the author?

According to the internet, Dagulf has been Loki’s devotee for over 20 years and is the author of Pagan Portal Loki: Trickster and Transformer as well as Playing with Fire: An Exploration of Loki Laufeyjarson. The author is also a tattoo artist, writer and witch. In regard to his practice he’s polytheistic; meaning he believes in multiple deities.

Thoughts

I read this book cover to cover, and because I have ADHD, it can be difficult to maintain focus especially when my brain deems a book boring due to lack of interesting information or anything to keep me hooked. The fact that I was able to read this cover to cover made me happy, as this book isn’t a hard read at all. This is probably one of the best starter books I got my hands on. This book goes over the base line lore behind the God of Chaos himself and it even gives you rituals to use. HOWEVER, the one thing I’m not too big of a fan is utilizing blood in any spell work.

Any form of blood magic is extremely potent and isn’t a toy nor is it recommended for beginners. If you’re a beginner tryna go into blood magic it’s the equivalent to going into a boss fight with a power level of one and the boss having a level of 350. The results as well as consequences can be and are dangerous, you may get what it is you want but not in the way you expect. This type of magic is extremely difficult to reverse if reversal is even remotely possible. I also have a fear of blood and needles so blood magic for me personally is out of the question; if you’re going to use the ritual workings, I suggest using something else to represent you other than blood.

In conclusion I think this book is great for beginners who are just now trying to learn and understand Loki at a beginner’s pace. The book itself is an easy read and isn’t a hardcore at all. It even includes the 9 Lokean virtues included into the book. This book is available in book hard copy and E-book form, I currently have this in E-book format and I read this while waiting for my classes to start in university. So it sure does help pass the time and makes time go quicker.

Epilogue

Sorry for the brutally late post guys, I’m currently slowly beginning to revert back into being an early bird. My night owl days are coming to an end for a while. But here is my first review on a book! I hope this was a decent post to read as I’m pretty damn tired. Have you read this book? If so what did you think about it? IMO I enjoin personally and I do recommend it but I’m quite curious to hear your thoughts. I hope y’all have a god night! Until next Friday! C=

10/10 ⭐️

References

[sonadowwiki]

”Hard work” no one prompted you to do. You did this for entertainment and I don’t think anyone online is entitled to any type of “respect” or “fairness.” She got whatever from you. You and other fans got whatever from Sonic franchise. Commissions and all. Pretty sure founders of the franchise "worked hard” on that, but you don’t see them whining about it. It’s a chain. There is no originality. If you’re so hellbent on it, try taking it to court, which I doubt you’ll have a real case with. I’d rather do this over involving others since I’m the one with the main problem. 

“Fairness,” laughable. Since when was there ever real fairness in life, let alone the internet? Last time I checked, none. 

Why do I care? Why do you get to care and I don’t? That’s the implication I’m getting. I’m not the one who posted and pinned this long post pinned a long “awareness” post about it against one specific person all because you didn’t get what you want and couldn’t rely on the clout you already have. “Admitted” injustice from her? Okay, let me clarify and admit you both straight up suck in different ways. For her it’s not exactly the same way you’re thinking, though it’s not about Sonadow. I’m neutral about the ship. For you, I think you get the idea.

If you think my way of expressing opposition which I’m sure anyone can be harsher about is “aggressive” “rude,” and “gaslighting,” you’re clearly exaggerating. Turn off anonymous asks if you think I’m "insecure" and that it’s indecent having an opposing opinion and someone like myself can suspect that you seem like the type to start some more petty awareness raising against me because of my oh-so indecent opinion because I’m not one of those who are willing to kiss your behind over anything pathetic like this. 

Your answer shows what kind of person you are. All you're doing is just pushing the blame on everything else to try to justify yourself and your actions despite still being a coward and hiding behind being anonymous. Whether we have them open or not, still shows that you chose to be a coward and attack someone without trying to get your reputation ruined. You cared so much about reputation that you can't even fight us head on with a name attached through your own choice.

We do fight for what the company actually wants, whether you know that or not. And unlike the video creator, we make sure to credit everyone on the wiki. We put every link, and even link fan artists that are shown in images connected to officials. So unlike what you're trying to claim, we do respect the company and others by trying to credit each person fairly.

If you choose not to be fair, even on the internet, then that shows that you don't want to take that effort to be a decent person. You even coming out of your way to bully and harass someone in anonymous messages shows that you're not a decent person. You're just selfish in your own way and want to justify what fits your narrative. Someone like you defending people isn't a good look and nothing you said proves that her actions are not unjust.

Instead of answering the question, you ask a question back that leads to nothing. That doesn't answer why you specifically care about this issue enough to go to us and be rude and disrespectful as an anonymous person. It's not saying that we get to care while you don't, it's questioning why you go these lengths unless you're involved with the people who were unjust. And I question why you care even more as someone who isn't even a fan of the ship or the creator in the first place. Why go these lengths?

Again I will remind you we don't have clout. People may look at our things, but that's it. Telling people of others' misdeeds is not something that really has to do with you specifically unless you're part of the group that helped with it. Therefore your anger and bullying doesn't really make sense. Perhaps you're just into causing drama.

I think you need to remember that you're the one who came to bother us and get involved, whether you're anonymous or not. Trying to blame us for your actions is childish, especially when we talk back to defend ourselves against your intimidation, harassment and disrespect. If you don't want to be responded to, then don't make a comment in the first place.

You also use strawman arguments just to have confirmation bias towards your narrative. This is about an unjust action from a user towards us. Other users were more respectful and know school 101 to cite their sources. Just because someone is doing something wrong and you think that it's normal, doesn't mean that it's okay. Therefore, we showed the unjust actions of the person because what she did wasn't right. Simple.

We're not asking you to kiss up to us. We are only responding with what is morally right. You don't just have "a different opinion," you're being disrespectful to try to push your "opinion" on us or change us through your "opinion." In this case, you're projecting what you want to do to us unto us. Also, what you consider an opinion in this situation isn't an "opinion." What you're saying is that we should excuse others' bad actions because you find it okay or that those type of things should be let go. That's not morally right, therefore, that's why we stood up against it. It's like saying that stealing is wrong, whether digitally or physically. Standing up against that isn't wrong or something that should be shamed like you're trying to do to us. It's something you speak up about and tell others of so that change for the better can happen.

Lastly, the reason why we did the wiki isn't for specifically "entertainment." It's mainly because people constantly lie in this fandom. People lie about how characters are, they lie about their relationships, they lie about how they interact with one another. Showing official content was to show others how things really are instead of the fan interpretation they've been lied to with for years. Another reason was to help stop the bullying towards Sonadow because their fans constantly got bullied due to those lies, such as saying that Sonic and Shadow aren't friends, that they fight all the time, that they hate each other, that there's nothing between the two, etc. That's why we show official content to show that that's not the case.

[ahfrickenfrick]

buzzfeed unsolved: The disappearance of Jason Todd

Ryan

Shane

—

This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved we will be discussing the disappearance of Jason Todd-Wayne, which has had updates as recently as last week.

Wait last week? Ryan, if we disappear because of this episode imagine how cool it would be. Maybe we hang with our good pal Jason.

I don’t have time for you being stupid. I have to get this right, because let me be honest. I have a man crush on Bruce Wayne, and if he ends up watching this and you’re being stupid I’ll never forgive you.

Okay, sure. Cause Bruce Wayne is searching the internet for every little thing posted about his dead son.

(wheeze)

We don’t know if he’s dead! And that’s what I’m here to talk about today.

-

Jason Peter Todd was born August 16th, 2000 in Gotham City, New Jersey, to his mother Dr. Sheila Haywood and his father Willis Todd. However only a few months later did Willis Todd marry Catherine Johnson, forcing Dr. Haywood to have to relinquish custody.

If I ever have a kid-

-they would all have your big head and I’d feel sorry for them.

Ryan. I listen to you ramble about murderers and ghosts. Let me tell my spiel.

(wheeze)

Right, sorry.

If I ever have a kid with someone, I think I’d be really upset if they just kinda made me give my kid to a stranger.

Here’s the thing to that! No one has heard or seen from Dr. Sheila Haywood since, like after her son was born. The only thing that might link back to her is an illegal botched surgery, but most of it was sealed off, and I don’t feel like having the Gotham City Police Department call me up

(ring ring)

Hi yes, are you that idiot from that show? You will be arrested immediately! Batman and his group of… misfits?? I don’t know, but they are on their way!

Moving on from your weird role play, like all the families that live in Park Row, what is deemed “Crime Alley”, the Todd family did not have money.

You could not pay me to go to a place called Crime Alley.

We were actually going to Gotham, scope around, maybe get a selfie with Robin-

-Which one?

I need to do an episode trying to figure out how many Robin’s there actually are… I think there have been five?? Six?? I don’t know… stop distracting me with Batman! We ended up scraping the visitation part because apparently this time of year Arkham breakouts are common, and I don’t want to get fear gassed.

-

Jason did decent at school, until he stopped showing up, school records are really spotty after third grade. Apparently he was reading and understanding college level stuff, but that’s really all we got on it.

Not a lot on this guys younger life it looks like.

No there isn’t, not any social media posts, or news articles, or anything if that sort about Jason until a few years later in 2012, when Jason became the ward to the one and only, Bruce Wayne.

Ah, Bruce Wayne, you love him, I love him, uhm- I actually don’t know much about Bruce Wayne other than the fact he’s one of the few rich people who give away a shit ton of money.

Bruce Wayne is a billionaire CEO, with a heart of gold, and some say he sleeps around, but as long as he’s not hurting anyone. Also! He’s a dad! Bruce Wayne is a trusted person within the Foster Care over in Gotham. He takes in the extreme cases that would probably leave the kid with a bunch of trauma.

Well, with what I’ve heard about Gotham, he must have like a billion kids with just a bunch of trauma

Let’s see what I remember from research, cause I did not write anything down for this. His first ward was Richard Grayson, who goes by Dick, was taken in after he watched his whole family fall and die on the trapeze.

As I said before, Jason was brought into Mr. Wayne’s custody after the death of both his father and his step mother. His father’s death was unknown, and his step mother died from a drug overdose… in front of Jason.

Uhm- Tim Drake? His was more interesting to watch unfold because there’s a whole other multimillion almost billion dollar company that Tim’s parents owned, and there was a lot covered up by lawyers and stuff, but Tim ended up with the Waynes

Then there’s the only female in the place, Cassandra Wayne, she is selectively mute, and overly protected by her adoptive family, nothing was shared with the media about where she came from.

Damian Wayne is the only blood son to Bruce Wayne, he didn’t even know about the kid until… like last year? Two years ago? Again, not a lot that I remember.

And then there’s been rumors of him taking in another kid, but nothing for sure yet.

Jesus, Ryan take a breath, and go back to Jason, because now I’m hoping I believe your theories about him being alive cause what this family didn’t need is another death.

Look, Shane. I’m going to be straight with you here. There are three possible theories I think could be plausible. So let’s jump right into them.

-

Theory one, is that Jason Todd is alive and in hiding from The Joker. This is the second most popular idea, and one I hope is true. There really isn’t anything else to this theory, besides a picture of someone that looks a little like Jason in the middle of Asia.

Doppelgänger, probably. Lemme see. I don’t know… this kinda looks like someone edited it.

Yeah, like it looks really distorted. I don’t know if I think it’s real, but it’s what people online were talking about.

Crazy, that people online would doctor fake photos of a kid who had died.

Exactly, which is why people think he’s alive, cause who would do that?

—

Theory two is that Jason Todd died as his family said he did, looking for his birth mother. Apparently he was in the Middle East, found his mother, but then both were found dead in an explosion caused by the Joker.

So the Joker, who is Gotham’s Prince of Crime, was somehow in the Middle East? I don’t buy it

I didn’t either, until I looked just a little deeper, and found that the next week Superman and Batman stopped the Joker from murdering the United Nations. So he was in the area.

Oh my god. If.. I know on this show I try to goof off, but it’s hard when it’s a kid. How old was Jason?

Only 15. He just got back into the swing of things at school, getting all A’s, he was in the Drama program and the Poetry club. If you scroll down a on Dick Grayson’s Instagram you can find a selfie of Dick and Jason, Jason being in his school uniform only a week before he died. The two seemed to be really close, with how much Grayson posted of the two of them, and then it was radio silence from the man until a year after Jason’s death, where he made a memorial post, along with Bruce Wayne, who made the Jason Peter Todd Memorial Foundation, which helps families in Crime Alley.

Look, not okay with the kid dying, but it makes me kinda smile to see that his family got together to do something like this in his name.

I don’t think you understand the length of what this fund does. It provides special housing for single mothers, has opened up two clinics that help with drug abuse and addiction, and keeps kids in warm clothes and in school.

That’s- wow. Okay, you are making this “he’s dead” thing seem like it’s the only thing that happened.

Well, theory 3, is that he died-

Wait what?

He died, and came back to life.

This, I think, is worse than you saying ghosts are real.

We live in a world where someone can run at the speed of light! Yet you draw the line at ghosts and maybe hopefully someone who isn’t dead.

Yeah, but that’s science. Okay whatever where’s the proof of him being alive.

Okay, looking at the timeline. Jason Todd died at 15, in 2015. And the Wayne’s kinda were quiet for a year and a half, besides the foundation they set up, even with Tim, nothing really new was happening.

And then things seemed to go back to normal, they all frequented gala’s again, and all the other social stuff they did-

Yeah, nice choice of wording there

Shut up, anyways, in 2018 a picture appears, not even the front page, of Dick Grayson walking and laughing with someone who looks a lot like if Jason Todd grew up for a few years, and then decided to dye his hair.

Listen, Ryan. People have doppelgängers. We just saw the other picture and it’s clearly fake- Jesus Christ that looks exactly like Jason.

Exactly! And I started looking around more, finding pictures of the Wayne family around Gotham from news sites, and every once in a while, that guy pops up. Never in the picture, but always somewhere in the background like he wasn’t wanting to be seen. Like i mentioned in the beginning, there was a picture from a week ago that looks exactly like him.

Wait, is this a theory from the internet or something you came up with?

Both, kind of? I saw someone make a bad joke about it, and then it kinda stuck in my head as I looked for more information. Apparently there is a mythical pit that could bring someone from the dead.

Okay, yeah. Mythical revival pit. As if any living person wouldn’t be all over that.

Look man, that’s just the information I found. But I really really hope that Jason is alive somewhere safe, or resting peacefully.

The most believable for me is that he did pass away. But I’d love to be wrong.

That being said, I got really sad looking through all of Jason’s life, I felt like I was being more invasive than usual. So I talked with the crew and Buzzfeed, and we are donating all revenue from this video to the Jason Memorial fund in Gotham.

But the mystery of Jason Todd, still remains….

Unsolved

[flowersbark]

Holy shit. Okay. Hi. I’m also a csa survivor. I’m legit so desperate for anything sort of recognition on this issue I’ve been having for almost 2 years now. https://www.tumblr.com/flowersbark/740288973409288192/fellas-is-it-a-proship-to-project-cocsacsa-on

It relates to this post, except I am going to get EXTRA personal on this.

Tw for r//pe, gr///ming, Self-h//rm, and csa (obvsly)

Okay so I also really really reallyyy don’t like proshippers, I am hypersexual, and I have zero access to any sort of help atp in my life. Now that I have those things out of the way right now, I am essentially in a dilemma a lot like that post. One major problem, it’s not me JUST wanting to project, it’s me wanting to BE in that spot of the victim again for some reason. And I mean like srsly getting assaulted again and all that horrible stuff. Like, i THINK these ideas, thoughts, and urges I have are called “intrusive thoughts”?? But I’m not sure. I’m disturbed by them regardless.

This has been so frustrating to deal with bc first of all, I’m not a victim to gr//ming, second, yes, I am a victim of csa at a young age, and third, I find myself having some sort of YEARNING to be hurt in such a way. (Not cocsacsa, just to not let things get mixed up btw) I have looked around on the internet for so long about this issue and I find NOTHING on it, like, am I just going crazy? Am I trying to cope with it in the worst way possible? Like, I genuinely don’t know, and it drives me mad because on one hand, I have this massive theory that it’s a mental attempt of “self- h//rm”, and then on the other hand, it’s a bizarre extreme version of yearning for touch and affection, but I’m just so unsure because I can’t find any other personal accounts of anyone else!

I acknowledge that your post wasn’t about this oddly specifc scenario, and I’m so sorry that this is so out of pocket, and possibly even counterproductive (idk) but as another csa victim, would you be able to offer some sort of insight? Is that something I can even ask for on here? It’s okay if you can’t, or don’t want to, I fully understand if I just never see a response to this. I really hope things get better for you and that you’re a having at the very least, a decent day regardless. Thank you.

Also p.s., sorry for not being able to answer that question, I myself am also uncertain on a definite answer for that. Like, the most I can say is that I think it’s okay to explore unhealthy dynamics, so long as they’re both acknowledged as bad/unhealthy/traumatizing things, and not put out to the public since people can take/look at things and get weird and nasty🤢 (so generally just used in a private and secure setting)

HI !!! uhh

first off, yes you can ask for advice, insight, anything. thats why i made this blog, other than to just vent to strangers. second, thank you for giving me your opinion on the csa proship situation.

i do think what you're going through are intrusive thoughts, and i get those a lot too. especially about going through what i did again, or worse. i also fucking HATE those thoughts, especially because my mind makes it by people i know irl, especially classmate im close to. it makes me feel disgusting and like im sexualizing and making my classmates horrible people when they ARENT. intrusive thoughts arent a reflection of who you are, theyre a reflection of who you DONT want to be, thats why theyre so disturbing.

again, the almost yearning for it is intrusive. it's also a trauma response. like how people who are used to being mentally abused will seek out and be with people that will treat them like that, its kinda like that. its not a good way to cope, but its not the WORST. as the absolute worst would be repeating the cycle.

im sorry if this doesn't help, its kinda just my word vomit with no revisions,, but i hope it does. it gets better, i promise. keep going.

[ravenishishtrash]

Okay so ✨Hamilton fanficion✨

Back in 2018 I was a big Hamilton (and other musicals like BMC, DEH, Heathers) fan, and I'm talking like a having amino (and a semi decent following on it), drawing silly fanart of the characters in maid suits, reading fanfiction fan

And sometimes I just go by my day and I randomly remember something from a Hamilton fanfiction that makes me stop in my tracks

And so, I decided to come onto here and provide a list of things I remember, that I want to forget, and am afraid that I'll forget at the same time, about Hamilton fanficion

(this being said, if you're still a hamilton fanfiction writer, you do you, this post does not mean to offend you)

I think like 80% of the fics if not more were college AU fics, and 15% were just different AUs but I don't think I've actually read a fic that wasn't a random one-shot taking place in canon timeline (I do believe it was because all of the hamilton ff writers just like me were 16 back then, and just simply did not know how to write historical fiction)

Most of the fics were LAMS (which is Alexander Hamilton x John Laurens) and it was practically canon in fandom eyes, and before anyone says anything, I've seen the letters, of course I've seen them but guyz, I think we were just a little bit delulu with how firmly we believed this (and I'm including myself in this!)

Still on shipping, the second most popular one was Jamilton (Thomas Jefferson x Alexander Hamilton) and I'm gonna be honest, this was my shit, I enjoyed this dynamic a lot more (I always found friends to lovers a bit boring), but man, were the ship wars brutal, I remember when amino mods tried to actually do some sort of a debate lams vs jamilton in which there were actual teams that wrote whole essays about which ship is more valid, but they ended up insulting each other after maybe two rounds

The last ship with its own point is Hamburr (Alexander Hamilton x Aaron Burr), I've always perceived this one as a cool kids ship, I think people who shipped this were the most chill about it

Background ships included Mulette (Muligan x Lafayette), which was one of those ships that were always in the background some sort of "if you don't ship this as your side ship i don't trust you" kind of ship, the same goes to Jeffmads (Jefferson x Madison) in lams fics, and in a lesser degree, and i don't remember its name, Eliza Schuler x Maria Lewis Reynolds (if you don't remember her from her name, is the woman Hamilton cheats on Eliza with), which is always fun, we love seeing some wlw

And now, the random facts that were just headcanons that people very often included, Jefferson and Lafayette were almost always in some sort related (especially in Jamilton fics) and that's because of the double cast, but I don't really think the same was true for any other character it was just them

Hamilton was always a caffeine addict with a bad sleep schedule who was way too engaged in whatever topic the fic made him and I remember one fic (it was a college au, of course) where the whole point was that it was actively ruining his relationships around him (it was a hamburr fic)

John Laurens loved turtles bc of some historical letters in which he mentioned he liked turtles and fandom did its thing and you couldn't read a lams fic where turtles weren't mentioned at least once

Charles Lee and Samuel Seabury were always minor villains/mean college students and the latter was sometimes in a weird unhealthy relationship with (king) George

There was no Eliza slander! I know it's a weird point, but now seeing how fandoms like spn or 911 reacted to female love interest I’m actually suprised there wasn't any, she was always just a good friend (or, in one Soulmate AU I think it was Jamilton, Eliza had Hamilton's name on her wrist but he didn't have hers and that was just brutal)

There was this fic that I won't mention by its whole name (it's off the internet anyway, I don't think the author wants to be reminded of it nor associated with it), that was a hanahaki AU Jamilton that nearing the end of its run had 300k+ words; it was about Alex having a mean spirited rivalry with Jefferson at their corpo lawyer job but hearing he has hanahaki so deciding he wants to be nice to him now, but little does he know that the hanahaki in question is *for* him and later he himself develops hanahaki for Jefferson and they even live together at one point so they have this situation where both of them are willing to die in order to keep the other one happy and cure them by being their rebounds but they actively making each other worse, it's probably not as good as I remember it to be but godDAMN was it a cult classic it really was one of the kind, ALSO a girl on a plane asked me what fic I was reading bc she was peeking over my shoulder because it looked good and it's just one of the interactions I will *never* forget

This fandom was also my first impression of A/B/O dynamic and it wasn't a good one, one of the fics with it that I remember was Jamilton, in which Hamilton was some sort of Omega activist (there was a scene where he was annoyed that romantic comedies in universe pushed the agenda of omega leaving their omegaxomega relationship for an alpha when oxo can be fully normally sufficient) and Jefferson was an alpha and there was a scene at a diner where Jefferson was spreading his pheromones so the other alphas would stop looking at Hamilton? yeah thanks, no thanks

Washington was 95% of the time Hamilton's father in one way or another but what did you expect, in one fic he was even Hamilton's mother soulmate but she died before he met her which I didn't know was possible in soulmates aus

I read one Jamilton fic on wattpad (even then I rarely used wattpad) that I think was (a college au) about how madison and jefferson were in abusive relationship and hamilton "rescued" jefferson out of it? (it feaured a truly iconic quote in a scene that i still remember where jefferson was having a panic attack in the dorm's bathroom and madison didn't want hamilton to think he was an abuser so he said something along the lines of "Don't listen to this whore" and Hamilton responded "I won't listen to a whore" and Jefferson was like no he also hates me no one loves me and then Hamilton added "But Thomas isn't a whore." and I kid you not, I think about this scene every time I see that stupid "do you think im pretty?" "no." ":(" "you're beautiful" meme) and my art was featured in one of the chapters! it wasn't a good art, but it was one of my biggest achievements back then (I drew the most art during my hamilton phase, I wish I kept that passion for drawing in the years to come)

And... I think that's all that I can think of off top of my head

Despite many peoples' opinion now, I don't think the fandom was wrong in how they perceived the source material, any who was in the fandom at that time can tell you that sometimes it felt like it's own entity, those were our characters and what they did in the musical and the historical context didn't really matter in the long run, besides some limited posts about lams or just funfacts about the real lives of the characters (i have so many funfacts about inaccuracies in hamilton stored in my head), just what the dynamic between them was

But, as have many, I grew out of hamilton fanfiction, it shaped how I moved around fanfiction and fandom spaces for years and no matter how much "cringe" that fandom was (and it was cringe in every way possible) I probably won't forget the fun parts (for example how I joined judges guild on amino that was supposed to host contests regularly and then we did one contest and 90% of the members stopped responding so I pretty much single-handedly picked the winners when we had like I think about 20-30 entries? contests were a big deal on amino) and I won't regret it, I think it was one of the if not best then funniest places to be on the Internet in 2018

I have recently rewatched Hamilton now that it is available on streaming and one) I found out that I didn't really know all the lyrics and certainly not what some parts mean (english as you probably already have noticed is not my first language) and two) I actually found myself thinking, man, i would like to read some good fanfiction about this, but not a single one Hamilton fanfiction on ao3 can be separated from how the fandom perceived the characters and that's okay, it's just the way it is

If you truly want to know the grasp of what was normal or not in this fandom, let me tell you this: I saw Jefferson Miku Binder before it was a meme, and it really wasn't that weird, I was seeing art and headcanons like these on the regular, that just how the fandom looked like

and with that, I'm signing off

[not-poignant]

Hey Pia, I hope you’re having a decent day. I have a few questions that I wanted to ask, feel free to take your time getting around to answering them (if you do). Sorry if any of these have been asked before, I’ve been lurking on your tumblr for a little while but not that long.

1) I started reading UtB after FFS. I noticed that UtB borrows a lot of characters from your other stories. I was wondering if there was a specific reason why Arden isn’t in the UtR-verse, or did you feel like he didn’t fit the vibes and didn’t want to write him? (No hate meant, I just like Arden and I’m curious)

2) Somewhere in a post about Constellations (I’m so hyped), you mentioned that Dr Gary most likely won’t be Efnisien’s therapist anymore. Have you put any thought into how their wind-down last session/s before discharge from therapy would go? I imagine that it would be very difficult with a lot of feels all around.

3) I’m a musician, and when re-reading FFS I couldn’t help but notice you have a good amount of knowledge about musical things. Have you ever played an instrument or been interested in music personally, or was this just something you researched for the story? Bonus related question, will Efnisien show an interest in playing piano, singing or music (outside of internet stalking James) in UtB?

4) I feel like this will be a no cause it won’t be the focus and that’s chill, but any chance that Kadek might pop up in Constellations? I feel like Gywn’s first impression of Kadek would be fucking hilarious. I loved the Efnisien/Arden/Kadek dynamic of FFS and I crave more, but I can understand if Constellations isn’t really the place for that.

Anyway thank you very much for your time, I love your writing and the characters you create so much and I appreciate how much interaction you give us fans.

Bye.

Hi hi! Let's get stuck into some questions :D

I was wondering if there was a specific reason why Arden isn’t in the UtR-verse, or did you feel like he didn’t fit the vibes and didn’t want to write him?

You answered the question! He didn't fit the vibes of the dystopian Underline the Black universe, so I decided he just wouldn't be in it at all. For me, I want him to stay as an FFS character, and honestly, it's really not that much fun for me to imagine an Arden without an Efnisien.

Somewhere in a post about Constellations (I’m so hyped), you mentioned that Dr Gary most likely won’t be Efnisien’s therapist anymore. Have you put any thought into how their wind-down last session/s before discharge from therapy would go?

I have, but I have no interest in writing it. I might be looking at writing some of Efnisien's sessions re: Henton down the track, but that's probably it.

I also don't think it would be that difficult. Dr Gary's literal job is to make sure that it's not that difficult, and that it feels like a natural transition, and I honestly think by the time it happens, Efnisien is really ready and the one who suggests it first. If anything, I think while there is some grief, it's mostly filled with a lot of joy, nostalgia, accomplishment and love.

A therapist is honestly pretty bad at their job if therapy comes to a natural end and all a patient feels about it is how hard it is. Like sometimes therapy comes to unnatural ends (therapists move, they pass away, there's a sudden incompatibility etc.) where things can't be transitioned out appropriately. And frankly some therapists specialise in 'short-form' therapy methods (that are honestly not that great but the government often forces it) and then clients are also then transitioned out sometimes too fast, and in a way that's traumatic.

But one of Efnisien's core issues is like... being fundamentally betrayed by a therapist, and as a result Dr Gary is with him until Efnisien realises he's ready to move on, and the winding down process takes months and months, easily over 10 sessions of just working on this subject. It's one of the reasons I'm not super interested in writing it, because the potential for angst is just so much lower overall, and I like to just imagine it as a thing where both of them get to feel quite accomplished and proud imho.

Have you ever played an instrument or been interested in music personally, or was this just something you researched for the story? Bonus related question, will Efnisien show an interest in playing piano, singing or music (outside of internet stalking James) in UtB?

I have played instrument/s before (flute, guitar, voice, piano) and still do sometimes (piano), though not to the degree of proficiency that Efnisien has, so I still had to do a bit of research on some things. And Efnisien has already shown an interest in music in Underline the Black re: enjoying the band that Gary put on, and asking more questions about it. Even before he knew it was James, he was very interested in the music.

But no I don't think he'll ever show an interest in playing a music instrument otherwise. That was very circumstantial in FFS, as in - Crielle forced him to learn as a child, and he learned to love it, but it wasn't necessarily something he'd be naturally drawn to otherwise outside of a hobby. And Efnisien hasn't really been raised to have kind of recognisable hobbies in UtB, and if he picks some up, they might look more like 'going outside for walks / hiking' etc. and again be circumstantial.

I feel like this will be a no cause it won’t be the focus and that’s chill, but any chance that Kadek might pop up in Constellations?

Yeah this is super unlikely.

The only reason any characters other than Gwyn or Efnisien will show up in this story (which is why I'm describing it as a Gwyn + Efnisien reconciliation story, and not a 'sequel' on its own) will be in their capacity to help or listen re: Gwyn and Efnisien becoming family again.

There's zero chance of Gwyn meeting Kadek. Firstly, Kadek wouldn't be interested in that, and then secondly, there's just no reason for it to happen. I don't really want to ruin Kadek's day.

Also Gwyn has met Kadek. He's there in the Forest nightclub, he's known by Kadek, and Kadek literally says in FFS:

So the first impression has happened and been done without Efnisien even being there and we're into like 10th 0r 20th impressions now! In fact, Gwyn and Augus have left such a (negative) impression on Kadek long before Efnisien came into the picture, that he even brings it up in the story:

'...Don’t think we haven’t noticed how rough you play with your partner, or how much you ignore dungeon monitor intervention. Just because you’ve gone to a few of our classes doesn’t make you a goddamn angel. We’ve been keeping an eye on you anyway. The only person I’ve seen attacked and harassed in my club tonight is him [referring to Efnisien being attacked by Augus].’ - Kadek to Augus while Gwyn is listening/in view

Er, so, yeah. Gwyn and Augus have made a terrible impression on Kadek, and Kadek genuinely wouldn't want to see Gwyn or Augus again. Like, let's remember that Kadek then issued a blanket ban to Augus re: all of his clubs after finding out he broke Efnisien's face (literally), and that basically then included Gwyn too.

I think he'd be one of the strongest detractors re: Gwyn and Efnisien reconciling and he could not care less about Gwyn's thoughts about him etc. And I think if Efnisien brought it up Kadek would be like '*forced smile* That's got nothing to do with me, but I know how to kill a guy, and I'm bringing that up for no reason at all! If you ever make me meet them, either of them, you won't like it! I'm not that kind of ride or die, I'm the kind of ride or die that says 'don't fucking see your cousin.''

So out of respect for Kadek, and because I know it wouldn't add to the story, they're not meeting again. Because Kadek would just be like 'so you stayed with the guy that broke your cousin's face. I know Efnisien defends you, but you really are just like his whole-ass family aren't you. At least he changed.'

And that would probably be how that went. Which isn't really fair to either Gwyn or Kadek lmao. They both deserve better than having to deal with each other.

[goldendiie]

My dream rn is to be to Sherdoc what you are to Sargemore

How did you get here

Like, other than the obvious, if you had to take your most comedic guess at how you got here, what would you say

i sold my soul to the devil so then i could have internet fame by writing sarge/fillmore fanfic. slash jay.

anyway, since i have a tendency to ramble, i’ll put a serious answer under the cut. i’m going to call this G’s Path to Accidental Internet Success.

1. i joined the fandom in 2016, when i was 14. as such, i bothered literally EVERYONE and tried to make as many friends as i could. i ended up with a pretty solid group of mutuals (most—if not all— of which are now deactivated. rip.) .

2. start asking for writing requests. the stuff i started out with was always in the 50-300 words ballpark (like drabbles). the main key here is to (a) have Exactly One Thing you write about (aka sargemore), and a handful of people that are willing to engage with you on that.

some cars fandom history for you: around this time (2018-ish), we had this anon “spam” (i hate to call them that, because we are now good friends) who would send many, many, many asks into my inbox about sarge and potatoes. i was able to turn some of their asks into legitimate oneshots, or take them a little farther than they likely expected. (see: wishes, as the sun sets, or anything else i posted in the summer of 2018). i guess what you can take away from this is that ANYTHING can be turned into writing if you are deranged enough.

it was also around this time that i bought the sargemore backstory comic off of ebay, and then spent an INCREDIBLE amount of time immersing myself in sixties history to write the third blink. i started posting that in june of 2019, and it went through the beginning of january of 2021 (covid fucked up my schedule). in that time, the fic gained a pretty decent following, a lot of whom usually still turns up for anything that i post on ao3.

so, number 3: if you put a lot of passion and time and effort into your work, people will notice! if you construct a good narrative arc for your characters, and do things that people aren’t expecting, they’ll stick around. a consistent posting schedule always helps too; think of it as tuning in to your favorite television show once a week, back in the old days of cable. i know i’m not one to talk about that (we all know i haven’t posted in like six months… yikes), but i’m telling you. it helps.

4. never shut the hell up about what you’re writing. i mean, seriously. you see the shit that i post about my AU. be obnoxious. have fun. start a discussion about your characters, or the narrative. in my case, i do this easily by creating a historical discussion through the use of sarge/fillmore as figures analogous to different political beliefs.

(actually. my ploy all along was to educate you guys. i can’t tell you how many comments i’ve gotten that are people saying “i wasn’t expecting to LEARN anything from a cars fanfic, but….”)

i think that’s all. i hate to say that a great deal of this is circumstantial, because i started in a height of the fandom in 2017, and the Potato Anon summer gave me a lot to work with, and i’ve been doing the same kind of thing for almost seven years now. but i think that you could still swing it. there’s enough people in the fandom that you could definitely attract the audience you want for your writing. i’ll be proud to be a part of it!

TLDR: have friends that want to engage with your writing, stay (mostly) consistent, and create a discussion about your “content.” and, most importantly— be passionate, be real, and HAVE FUN. none of this is worth it if you aren’t enjoying it.

[choupiee]

Ninjago movie verse headcanons Pt. 3 (Maybe a bit chaotic, might be my last one, who knows?)

- Zane obviously knows how to cook. He cooks very well, barely gets anything burnt or undercooked. He accidentally acts like a mom to the rest of The Skittle Squad (yes I’m calling them The Skittle Squad from now on) he also gets cooked food straight out the oven with no oven mitts. It was a jumpscare for Cole

- On the other hand, Kai is permanently banned anywhere in the kitchen. Get a glass of water? He has to beg someone else to get it for him. Getting an apple? He has to walk very slowly to get it off the bowl. Why? Because he unintentionally blows up the kitchen. Nobody knows exactly why he’s like this

- Since Jay knows how to invent stuff, he mainly did most of the blueprints for each mech, and had Zane to do it in the holidays non-stop. It wasn’t such a big deal, since Zane is a robot and has stamina. But Jay felt a bit too bad for making Zane do the work so he just forced Zane to make a plain water flavoured popsicle in his free time whilst Jay did his fair share of tinkering

- The Skittle Squad does karaoke nights. Lloyd sings pretty fine, he’s the most decent singer. Cole would most likely beat box or dance instead (they had to drag him away from the stage). You cannot not convince me that Kai forced Jay to do a Spin The Wheel and got Barbie Girl as his song and absolutely cried whilst trying his best. Zane sings like he’s speaking. It makes Cole cry. Nya does a whole K-pop performance (+ Kai because he was supposed to mock Nya behind her on the stage but they synced their moves and they look pretty good). Kai just shows up in those inflatable suits and sings a seductive song whilst pole-dancing. (He’s banned from the stage as well)

- Bonus when Kai sings but makes a commentary in the middle of the song he’s singing like, “I left all the doors unlocked when you- Okay, whose holding my dinosaur tail, let it go-”

- They all do bets. They exchange money so much that it’s a tradition (Right now Jay’s got the most money but he’s acting as if he’s broke so the others won’t turn bets towards him)

- If SnapChat was real in Ninjago, Kai would most likely take a selfie of Cole spitting out his drink with Jay’s hair on fire and the text would be like ‘Damn new hair style on 🔥🔥🔥’ (Then there’s another selfie all blurred of him on the foreground and Nya behind him chasing him to grab the phone and the text would be an unfinished message like ‘Hold on brb my sister-’

- Nya and Lloyd (obviously) do hair routines together. They would exchange shampoos, conditioner, hair tips and practise on wigs as well, the rest of the Squad thinks it’s so cute

- Meanwhile Cole suggests Jay should cut his hair by burning it (Zane almost had an urge to get a marshmallow and roast it over Jay’s head)

- Jay and Kai love (really) social media. They both type very fast and have quick comebacks. When someone posts a hate post about Lloyd, you’ll bet Kai would tell him off about how Lloyd is better than them and Jay would go over their profile and shame them for whatever they are interested in (even if it’s actually something that he thinks is decent)

- Cole did that one trend where you fake looking through the internet and find out that your friend’s celebrity has ‘died’ at the age of whatever, he did it on Nya using her hero ‘The Lady Iron Dragon’. Nya couldn’t stop crying for days

- Jay keeps his room pretty tidy. When the others (Lloyd mostly) got invited to stay at his place, they try to attempt to make everything a huge mess just to spite him (It was Kai’s idea, of course)

- They all own a group chat and spite eachother by changing their display names. Lloyd’s phone got taken from Cole and the message notification just notified Kai that his display name was changed to ‘K-Baby’ and that made him change Lloyd’s name to ‘Child Booster Seat’

[mushroomrealestate]

TW abuse!!

OK so I used to be obsessed with cartoons back in the day and idolized cartoon creators. Was never a fan of Rick and Morty though. (I don’t want anyone to take this as me shaming anyone who has been! Certainly not the case. The show was simply not my cup of tea.)

However, with all the stuff coming out about Justin Roiland, I am hoping and praying that creators I idolized when I was younger don’t turn out to be scumbags as well. I know some of them have connections with him, but I don’t know their stories or their hearts, or anything about their personal lives with him so I don’t want to take that as anything to do with their character just yet.

As someone with OCD, I simply don’t know if I would be able to take it. My biggest idol back in the day was Alex Hirsch. All of this stuff about Roiland led me to look deeper into Hirsch because I know they are or were friends and have collaborated a lot. All I was able to find was ‘he said she said’ stuff that was not confirming actual crimes, but was still pretty shitty if it was true. I have no way of knowing if it’s true though, because people say shit on the internet all the time! If anyone has definitive proof of if shitty things did or didn’t go down though I would like to know because I don’t want to support abusers/abuse enablers.

Now, I’m just trying to put myself in the shoes of people who have had connections with Roiland if that makes sense. I know it’s a new situation, and I would, of course, not be so quick to completely turn against somebody I’ve known well for years based on allegations I have no way of proving, but I don’t know. I don’t know these people at the end of the day. And, if he by some miracle happens to be innocent himself, then this entire post is pointless. I highly doubt it though.

I just really hope that’s not the case because the amount of time I have invested into Hirsch’s work is time I would never get back. Already had a lot of crap to work through because of traumatic experiences within the fandom when I was much younger. At the end of the day, those experiences were not his fault, nor had anything to do with him, so I’ve been able to heal a lot.

I was watching Gravity Falls with my little brother just yesterday. This show was literally what got me obsessed with cartoons and had me taking art and animation classes and trying to develop ideas for shorts and original series. I own a signed copy of journal three. I’ve cosplayed multiple characters multiple times. I own so many figures and books and posters and a complete Blu-ray box set. I have made entire sketchbooks worth of fanart in my lifetime, and even a custom doll.  I don’t display any of these anymore, they are in a box in my closet, but I still own them.

I’m already spiraling enough because of Roiland’s involvement in the show. I know that Louis C.K. was also in the show, but his voice was dubbed over by Hirsch himself after he was confirmed to be an absolute creep. Maybe, in the best case scenario, this could happen with Roiland’s character as well?

I am also a huge fan of the Owl House. Probably my favorite cartoon currently running. This would definitely affect how I saw that show as well so I hope that’s not the case. Please be a good person Dana Terrace.

Closing statement: Please be at least a decent human being Hirsch I’m begging you please don’t let me down. And, if all of these people do in fact turn out to be abusers/abuse enablers, I hope that the truth is widely accessible, and that they are able to be brought down, and that nothing like this is ever allowed to happen again.  A lot of shitty stuff has been done to me in my lifetime and I never want to brush off it happening to somebody else because I happen to like a cartoon. It’s okay to have complex feelings about shows now. Works of fiction are complex and shows like these have lots of people working on them. Still, at the end of the day, victims are more important than cartoons.

If you have read until the end, thank you so much. Apologies for my grammar. I know it’s not the best and I know there are probably plenty of spelling and punctuation mistakes throughout this. Thank you again. Please be safe out there.

[always-andromeda]

Time for a little talk. Skip if you don’t feel like reading. I just wanted to get some thoughts out because I’ve been seeing a lot of fatphobia pop up on my dashboard and I just got some comments that reminded me of it all.

TW: discussion around fatphobia, mention of EDs (nothing graphic), disgusting comments from a disgusting individual.

So a few months ago I made this silly little post:

Essentially, that day I got a load of OOTD videos from a plus size influencer on my for you page. And I was saddened to open the comments on every single one and see that the top comments were all insulting, unfunny comments about this woman who was simply just. Standing in front of a camera. Striking some poses. Showing off her outfit.

However. The other day, I got some particularly gross comments on that post:

Now let me clarify, I didn’t legitimize their comments with a response. I have since blocked them and I’m keeping their username covered because honestly, it’s just some random bullshit blog that reposts stolen aesthetic images from Pinterest and makes disparaging comments about fat people on tumblr. Their life is grim enough by the looks of things.

And I'm not posting this to say, "Look at the mean comments I got!! Feel bad for me!! 🥺" Because if this was just regular old fatphobia, I would've ignored and blocked this bullshit like I've done in the past. But it's that first comment that made me chuckle. Friends, I present to you the weakest excuse I've heard for being an absolute piece of shit:

They put themselves out there. They deserve the insults. Plain and simple.

For extra context: I've been fat my whole life. And I probably always will be. I've been insulted for it by "friends" and bullies alike. No matter how much I've restricted, worked out, binged, and purged, none of it has ever made me lose weight. If anything, all those actions have done to me is physical damage that I can't undo!

But these people don't care about that. They don't care about listening and extending empathy and learning like a decent human being might. Even if a fat person did try and comply with this person's bullshit logic and go to the gym to "fix" themselves, they'd still get treated like shit for the simple fact that they exist and they have a body and they dare to show it in public. There is no correct or incorrect way to be fat.

A person's body does not hold some inherent moral value. Leaving pathetically vile comments on a random post from a random blog you don't even follow sure does hold a moral value though I think! One that matters just an eeeensy bit more than my fat ass saying in a silly tumblr post: "Hey, it'd be really cool if I could just...exist...without getting stomped into oblivion, thanks!"

If I dared to pretend that comments like these are made with a shred of good faith in them, I would argue that there is no "winning" with people like this. They only care to perpetuate a cycle of self loathing and discouragement specifically designed to keep us in the position of being punching bags. All they care to do is hurt people they don't know because the internet has afforded them a level of removal from the rot within their hearts.

I'm not saying anything groundbreaking, I'm aware. There are plenty of folks who are more articulate than I am who have had these conversations dozens of time over.

But these people feed on our misery. They feed on their ability to kick up a fuss and hurt our feelings with half assed insults. One might argue that I'm kicking up a fuss right now typing up a long ass tumblr post in response to two measly comments. If that's your contribution to this discussion, get absolutely fucked, this post isn't for you. It’s not for the commenter either.

This post is for all of my homies who have become the punching bag, both on and offline. Because it hurts either way. I hear you and I see you, friends. And the second you start to doubt yourself when these beasts rear their ugly heads, please remember that their words have nothing to do with you. They use their words and their energy to deliberately cause harm. And there is something deeply wrong with that. Some wrong thing that you don't possess purely for some physical trait. Never ever forget that distinction.

I love you all. I'm glad we exist. And I hope that we can keep spreading love in whatever ways we can.

[sleepysnk]

a/n: wow, okay, so this was crazy and i’m shocked that i wrote this much? and for an underrated king? 😭 i hope this does not flop. i also hope you guys enjoy! 🤍

pairings: pain x fem!reader

warnings: modern au, nsfw, smut, twitter porn star!pain, mentions of f+m! masturbation, oral sex m!receiving, praising, slight degradation, cum swallowing, very light throat fucking, mentions of spit, brief fluff.

Tender is the Flesh ft. Pain

Not safe for work Twitter.

One could call that side of Twitter the PornHub of social media. The content inside of the hashtag is nothing but clean, and many people find themselves indulging in the many pictures or videos inside of it. Some people have chosen to use the platform to promote OnlyFans, which allows them to be paid for their adult content.

While it can be used for promotion, some people use it for more of their own desires. 

Anything could be found inside of the tag ‘nsfwtwt.’ Whether it be videos of women fingering themselves to the idea of being filled by a nice cock, or guys posting videos of themselves jerking off; the place was an absolute gold mine of different content. People often made accounts to post about their many fantasies, or kinks they desired to try out. 

With these accounts being made, the attention came along with it. It didn’t matter if you were a female or a male, people gave out attention like it was money. Sometimes, people went as far as paying for personalized photos of the creator playing with their sweet cunt or a picture of a guy cumming on his stomach to the thought of fucking the follower. For some, that was their full time job. There wasn’t any judgment in any context. 

It didn’t matter if your kink was dark or hardcore. There were people out in the world that found anything to be erotic. It was comforting, but the space often had many weirdos. 

Some people never understood the concept of crossing boundaries. Just because someone shared photos of themselves nude on the internet didn’t mean that the person on the other side had the right to send dick pictures or nudes of themselves. It was a common issue expressed by many accounts, whether the creator was big or small. The person behind those weird accounts were usually some old pervert who had nothing better to do with his time.

Another thing that went into the porn accounts was anonymity. There were a few creators that showed their faces, but many chose to keep their identities private. This was due to the possibility of someone seeing this person in real life, and there was that chance that person could be harmed by someone else. They also bore the risk of someone they know finding out about the account. It was dangerous, so being anonymous was the best option.

In short, there were only a handful of content creators that actually showed their identities. 

One of those creators was a young man. 

He went by the name of Pain, and he was one of the popular creators. He wasn’t big compared to some people, but he had a very decent following of about twenty-five thousand. Pain grew quicker than he imagined, but he wasn’t complaining at all. People followed who they liked, and he was glad to be one of them.

Pain was almost every person’s fantasy. He fit the edgy, emo boy everyone adored. He had hair the color of apricots, a well toned and fit body, and these eyes that could make anyone’s knees weak. His style kept people drawn to him. He had these piercings in both his ears and on his face that people always talked about. Jewelry was something he was definitely a fan of, and there were even a handful of his followers that went out to get similar piercings. 

Not only were his looks a plus, but his cock was magnificent. 

Recently, Pain has received a lot of his attention for what he did to his dick. He ended up revealing that he pierced the base of his shaft. Many people were shocked, and the reactions were mixed. Some thought it was an absolutely daring and exciting idea, while some said he was weird and clowned him for doing what he did. Though, he didn’t care at all. He did it for himself, and he didn’t need anybody else’s approval.

Pain had a lot of fans. It wasn’t exactly a secret. He interacted with plenty of people on Twitter. It didn’t matter if they were a nsfw account or not, he would retweet anything he thought to be attractive onto his account. The fan love didn’t just start at the retweets. There were also his direct messages which were filled with conversations he shared with his followers.

Whether he was rating some girl and her tits, or simply accepting a compliment, he had tons of direct messages. They were all full of love, or, occasionally, he’d have that one hater that would tell him he was ugly or weird. Pain would usually respond with something cocky. Usually along the lines of “you’re just mad your girl wants to suck me off,” or “ok? you still stalk me tho.”

He had many fans, and you were one of them.

You first discovered Pain’s account just a month after you made your Twitter. You actually saw one of your mutuals retweet his video, and, ever since, you were obsessed with the orange-haired man. 

You were very attracted to his vibe. He gave off this aura that was mysterious and intimidating. You also liked his piercings and his sense of fashion. You never saw a guy like him before, and he honestly gave you butterflies. Almost instantly, you followed his account. You practically went through his entire page to see what other content he had, and you weren’t disappointed in the slightest.

Pain had many videos which included him shirtless, leaning back against his chair with his cock in his hand. He made sure the audio was on, and his voice is what made your cheeks burn. It was so deep, it made your core light on fire from how erotic he sounded. 

There were many nights where you buried your fingers inside of your cunt to the sound of his voice. You imagined Pain was on top, shoving his pierced cock into your hole to stretch you to your limit. You often reached your orgasm when he whispered how much of a good little slut you were for taking his cock so well. He had no idea that he made you feel that way, and he probably never would.

You often interacted with his posts as much as you could. Though, you were aware of limits, and you made sure to not come off as some weirdo who pleaded for his attention. You sometimes retweeted his videos, or hearted his tweets whenever he posted. You supported him in small ways that made you feel good.

Pain rarely followed many people back. Out of his twenty-five thousand followers, he only followed about thirty accounts. You couldn’t necessarily blame him. Following random people could bring in the wrong energy, and you didn’t always know the faces behind the screens. For all he knew, there could have been a weird old man stalking his account. 

On several occasions, you found yourself daydreaming on what it’d be like to have Pain follow you back. Would he message you? Did he make bonds with his fans? So many questions, but you never had a resolve for any of them.

Him following you was just a dream that you knew would never become a reality.

-

Your body was awoken to the sound of your phone buzzing against the table beside your bed. It had to be somewhat early, but you didn’t mind it at all one bit. You honestly had many things to take care of throughout the day, so getting an early start would really help you in getting all of those tasks done.

Peeling your eyes open, you reached forward to grab your cell phone off of the table. Your phone screen lit up instantly, the time displaying that it was ten thirty in the morning. You hadn’t gone to bed super late the night before, but you honestly wanted to sleep longer realizing the time.

Though, you had many responsibilities, and not getting them done would pile on even more things you needed to do. 

You let out a sigh, beginning to scroll through the few notifications you had received throughout the night. Some of them were messages from your friends, and others were from the apps you used which reminded you to always have some positive vibes floating around you. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. You were used to it at this point. 

Pressing on your Twitter notifications, you noticed you had a few tweets that had gotten likes. It didn’t seem unusual until your eyes landed on one message that made you look twice.

@pxinxx liked your tweet!

@pxinxx started following you.

Your heart began to thump vigorously against your chest when you saw the words on your screen. Instantly, you sat up in your bed to check your Twitter. You weren’t expecting it, but Pain had actually followed you back. He actually liked one of your tweets. You honestly felt a huge rush of emotions. What were you supposed to feel? You honestly didn’t have a single damn clue about it.

For several minutes, you refreshed your Twitter feed to see if this was possibly a dream. You didn’t think he’d ever follow you back. It made you wonder what made him take interest in you. Pain was a guy that was unknown. His emotions and intentions were never that clear, so this move made you question a lot of things. Did he think you were attractive? Was he annoyed by your random likes? It was itching at your brain to figure out what it was.

Deep down, you hoped that maybe he’d send you a message. However, that possibility seemed really low. What would be the chance of Pain of all people sending you a direct message? He probably had tons of people in his inbox wanting his attention. You were just some fan he followed.

You brushed the thought aside, and decided to continue on with what you needed to do.

Sitting up in your bed, you removed your blankets off of your lower half. The sun from the outside was peeking through the beige curtains that hung over your window. You could tell the day was beautiful. The birds were even chirping louder than usual, so that was a great sign that the weather was great.

You turned your body to place your feet on the carpeting below you. You stood up, cracking and stretching a few joints that needed to be fixed up. It was very satisfying to you. 

You placed your cell phone inside of the pocket in your pajama shorts. You then walked towards the bathroom that was connected to your bedroom. You figured you’d fix up your hair and find a decent outfit before you left to do your errands for the day. There was a side of you that wanted to do some light makeup, but it would take such a long time. The afternoon was already nearing, and you really didn’t want to spend the entire day out and about.

Shutting the door to the bathroom, you started your basic morning routine. Brushing your teeth, washing your face, fixing your hair the best you could, etc. You also made sure to do your business as per usual. It didn’t take you very long to do anyway. 

As you finished washing your hands, you placed your phone on the bathroom counter to check your notifications. What you saw was extremely unexpected, and you almost dropped the towel in your hands. Being honest, you practically almost fell to the floor when your eyes scanned over the message.

@pxinxx: hey :)

There was no way, there was no fucking way.

You practically shoved the baby blue towel back onto the counter the second your hands were dry. You didn’t know what to feel, but you were very nervous. Pain actually sent you a message. What the fuck were the odds that this would happen to you? You felt really lucky, but you also felt freaked out because you didn’t know what to respond with.

He was intimidating, my god, he was so intimidating. In some aspects, Pain looked extremely difficult to approach. After all, you had seen his face multiple times, and, not to mention, his kink list was enough to make you cower in your shorts. Pain was a guy who kept himself very serious, and his humor was hard to laugh at sometimes.

You stared at the message for so long that you didn’t even realize how much time had gone by. You had been standing there like a complete mess for almost ten minutes. You didn’t want to ignore his message, but you were scared with a response. What if Pain thought you were weird? What if he didn’t like how you talked to him? What if he blocks you? Fuck! This was so difficult to deal with. How come he had to message you now?

You decided to send something quick back. It was simple, and it wasn’t weird. Well.. hopefully it wasn’t weird to Pain.

You: hi! <3

Your hands were trembling and you honestly couldn’t think about anything else. There was still a side of you that believed this was all a dream, and, somehow, you’d wake up and the messages would have disappeared. However, that didn’t seem like the case. It would have been an amazing dream though.

Two minutes..

Five Minutes..

Almost ten minutes went by since you responded. You were honestly losing your mind as you paced around your apartment. Every couple of seconds you checked his profile to see if he was still following you, and he was. You didn’t want to make a move or anything until he replied to you. This was practically eating you up inside. 

It wasn’t the fact that Pain was this big guy, but it was the whole reality that he was this scary guy on the internet. Sure, he often came off as nice, but you didn’t know who he was in private. What if he was some weird asshole who was fooling everyone? Appearances could be deceiving and he was no different. 

Ping!

The sound of your phone going off practically sent you into a frenzy while you reached for it on your bed. Your eyes lit up once you saw that it was a Twitter notification. Pain had replied to you, and your heart practically stopped once you realized that it was him. 

Pain: what’s up? what are you up to? 

Honestly, you didn’t know what to say to him. What were you supposed to say? You were waiting for a reply from him? He’d definitely call you a weirdo after that. Plus, what if you responded too fast? Pain would surely catch on to the idea that you were sitting by the phone for his text message. The last thing you’d want is to imply that you were in need of his attention. He would for sure block you if that were the case. 

God, this was so stressful.

You had to come up with something. If you didn’t respond eventually, Pain could get the vibe that you weren’t interested in talking with him. Being truthful, you did want to speak to Pain. You just didn’t know how to, and that was the difficult part. 

Taking a deep breath, you began to type a reply back to Pain. You kept the message short and sweet. 

You: not much, just laying down. how about you?

Just as you were about to turn your phone off and toss it away to scream into your pillow, you noticed that Pain had already begun typing on the other end. That meant he had read your message as soon as you replied. It barely sent seconds prior, so that fact took you by major surprise. He never seemed like the type of guy that’d respond to someone that quick. However, you didn’t mind that at all. Fast replies were honestly the way to please you. 

He took a little while as he typed his response. The chat bubble disappeared and reappeared many times. It honestly gave you some serious anxiety. It made you wonder what he’d tell you. Oh god, what if Pain asked you for nudes? No, no, you couldn’t think he was like that. You two barely connected just a few minutes ago. There was no possible way he’d be that much of a weirdo with some random person. If he was, you’d have some major issues. Pain would also possibly lose one of his mutuals/fans. Deep down you were praying he wasn’t going to say something weird. After all, you were one of his biggest fans. 

The bubble was suddenly gone, and his message was revealed. As you read it, you were relieved to see that the text wasn’t weird or oddly freaky as you might have imagined. It put you at ease for the moment. 

Pain: same, same, i feel you on that.

You were about to think of another response, but that thought was quickly interrupted by your eyes landing on the familiar typing bubble. He was sending you another message. The thought alone made your heart jump inside of your ribcage, and you honestly didn’t know what to do. Was he going to ask you something? You hoped you’d be able to answer the question in the smoothest way possible.

Pain: sorry if this is too much to ask, but where do you live? i’m just curious because i went through some of your pics and you’re really attractive.

Your jaw immediately dropped when you read the last few words. Pain actually went through your photos and thought you were.. attractive? This had to be some kind of joke. He was so hot, and you didn’t imagine Pain of all people would think you were cute. You figured guys like him would have such high standards. Did you fit what he wanted or something? God, you were losing it at the moment.

You wanted to be as cautious as possible.

While it was nice that Pain was saying these things to you, he was still someone you only knew off of the internet. You couldn’t exactly say fuck it and go off of what he was saying. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust him, but you couldn’t necessarily ease into him so easily. Just because you were a huge fan didn’t mean that you could believe everything Pain was telling you. For all you knew, he could just be messing around with you. This whole conversation could be a huge joke. You had to play this safely, and with as much caution as possible.

He was asking for your location too. You were very secretive online about where you lived. There was a constant fear that ran through your head that someone you knew would find out the account you ran was yours, or a random person could approach you in public and act like a total creep.  

You needed to keep calm and be confident in yourself. Sure, Pain was very intimidating to the point where he was scary, but you couldn’t let that get in the way of keeping your ground with him.

Now, you needed to think of a good response. You didn’t want to be mean or anything, but you weren’t going to be so easy going with him. Being too aggressive might cause an argument to possibly erupt, or there was the chance that Pain could be upset with you. Maybe behind the screen his intentions weren’t bad, but you didn’t know that. You hoped this would all go well, because, if not, you would have a serious breakdown over it later on. You’ve never seen Pain serious before other than online, so one on one might be hectic. 

Taking a deep breath, you pressed on your keyboard to send a message to him. You brushed away those anxious thoughts for a brief moment so you could regain the confidence to send the reply.

You: thank you! but i don’t know if i’m that comfortable sharing my location with you. you’re attractive and all, but you’re a stranger to me. 

Clicking your phone off, you tossed it onto the other side of your bed. You honestly felt like you were going to throw up from how nervous you were. Your stomach was tied in knots, and your heart was beating at almost a million beats per minute. Your brain was buzzing with the thoughts of what Pain might say to you. You hoped it wouldn’t be too bad.

For several minutes, there was nothing coming from your phone. It honestly felt like you were waiting for the biggest news of your life or something, and you didn’t want to wait any longer. 

You wondered what you should do to pass the time. Maybe you could clean the apartment you lived in? You did have some errands to run, but you didn’t want to seem like a total idiot inside of Target because Pain was messaging you. Fuck! He was such an asshole for making you feel this way. This is what you got for being so into him for the last six months. Your dreams finally came true and you forgot how to act. 

You decided to distract yourself for the time being. If you focused too much on the situation in front of you, you’d probably destroy your entire good mood. It was just Pain, what’s the worst that could happen? He didn’t know where you lived, and you were some person he had met on the internet. If he really went as far as clowning you for it, then so be it. You could care less about some stupid interent trolls.

This would be over soon, and you knew that.

-

Your entire day had gone by within the blink of an eye. 

You ended up running a majority of your errands that you needed to take care of, and you even tidied up your apartment. All of that stuff ended up draining your energy, and you were currently laying on your bed again. This time it was later in the night. It was almost midnight in fact.

Throughout the day, you’d periodically check your phone to see if Pain had replied to you. However, you hadn’t received a single thing all day. Many hours had passed and you wondered if he had possibly left you on read. Though, there was no way you could tell of that. It was honestly bugging you, but sometimes silence was better than replying. You’ve learned that fact many times. 

Maybe your message had scared him off. Maybe his intentions weren’t the best and he took your response as a way of saying fuck off. If that were the case, you weren’t going to complain about it. You’d prefer to avoid any conflicts that may arise. 

Your eyes felt heavy, and you were honestly feeling really drowsy. You usually didn’t fall asleep that early, but you did a lot throughout the day. It wasn’t much of a surprise that you were feeling tired. All you knew was that the sleep you’d get tonight would be great, and you would probably feel really rested tomorrow morning.

You sat up in your bed, pulling the sheets over your body to feel some warmth. You reached downward to grab your phone charger off of the ground. Once you placed the charger in your phone, you’d head to bed. You were too tired to even keep your eyes open. It wouldn’t be an understatement to say you’d be knocked out once your head hit the pillow. 

Plugging your phone in, you let out a sigh. You couldn’t wait to fall asleep already. You wanted to put what happened today behind you, and you just wanted to go and play inside of your dreams for the night.

Just as you were about to place your phone down, the vibration that came from it caused your blood to freeze. 

Almost instantly, you brought your phone back towards your face. To your surprise, you had received the message you weren’t too excited to see. You could feel your throat go dry, and your heart beginning to race from the anxiety.

Pain had finally responded to you after many hours of silence.

Pain: forgive me for being too forward. you’re right, we’re merely strangers, and it’s wrong of me to ask such personal questions. if you want me to stop speaking with you, i understand. once again, i apologize for being inconsiderate. 

You were honestly taken back by his sudden apology. Being honest, that was the last thing you were expecting. Now, you weren’t upset with that response, but it was very shocking. However, you weren’t going to press the issue anymore. 

You were going to be nice. 

You: no worries! thank you for taking in my feelings, pain, i really appreciate that :) also, we can keep talking!!

Being truthful, you didn’t want to stop talking to Pain. Just because he did one thing didn’t mean your perception of him was going to change. People made mistakes, and he owned up to his which was sweet. There weren’t many guys like him out there anymore, so it was nice to know he was aware of when he was wrong.

Within seconds, Pain started typing once again. You shifted around in your bed so you could get more comfortable. You were interested to see what the rest of the conversation would look like.

Your attention snapped towards the new messages that appeared on your screen.

Pain: i’m very relieved to hear that, and i apologize again for messaging you so late. work kept me later than usual. you’re probably tired lol

Pain: if you’d like, i could message you tomorrow morning

Your cheeks burned from his texts. He sounded like such a gentleman. This was something you weren’t expecting at all. 

Now, you only knew Pain on the surface. He was just some guy you had met through Twitter, and, from what you had seen, he didn’t seem like he was the nicest guy to encounter. You knew Pain as the intimidating dominant that’d cum inside any pussy he could get his hands on. He was mean, a tease, and, most of all, the most intimidating guy you had ever laid your eyes upon. For fucks sake, he had piercings on his cock. There weren’t many guys who had the balls to do that.

You decided to keep the conversation going. If you were being truthful with yourself, you didn’t want to end it right there. You wanted to see where this would go. 

You: we don’t have to stop here! being honest, i don’t have anything to do tomorrow so we can keep talking if you’d like :)

Once again, Pain started typing almost immediately. You were already being drawn to his energy from how quick he was responding. It honestly excited you, and the anticipation was already bubbling in your belly. You hadn’t felt something like that in a long time. 

Pain: oh fr? bet, i’m off tomorrow so we can talk as long as you’d like. tbh, it’d be great to have someone to talk for the evening. it can get boring when everyone else is asleep. 

Your eyebrows raised almost instantly. He was actually interested in a conversation with you? Holy fuck you were losing it. You were certain now that your sleep schedule was going to be ruined after tonight.

You: bet! i’m open to talking

-

Your conversations with Pain didn’t stop that night, and you were so glad they didn’t.

From midnight to almost five in the morning, you and Pain messaged with each other. You actually learned a lot about him and he learned some things about you too. He actually kept the conversation going, and he wasn’t dry at all. You learned very quickly that he was a very funny guy, and it attracted you even more to him. 

You actually learned that Pain resided only fifteen minutes away from where you lived. When he mentioned that, you almost lost it. It honestly surprised you that you hadn’t run into him prior, but you never traveled that far outside of your town unless it was to see your parents.

Pain was delighted to hear that you weren’t very far away. He made jokes on how if he ever saw you to not be surprised if he threw a bag of chips at you randomly. 

Besides all of that, Pain was very respectful with you. 

That night you talked turned into many more days and plenty more nights. Your conversations seemed never ending, and there was always something new for you two to talk about. There was never a dull moment between the two of you, and you felt very connected to the young man. You had similar interests, the same ideals on things, hell, you two even liked the same fast food restaurants.

You spent practically every waking second talking to Pain, and you had zero regrets. He’d even like a few of your tweets while you were away to let you know he was still there. He did small things that made your cheeks warm, or butterflies to swarm around your stomach.

He had a hold over you, but you weren’t complaining at all.

So, here you were now, standing below the apartment building Pain lived in.

The decision to finally meet up came quite quickly, but you knew it was what you wanted too. You knew Pain was real. He had sent you several photos of himself, and you two even exchanged your personal social medias with each other. Plus, you were prepared if something were to go wrong. You’d just stab him in the eye and that would be it!

Deep down, you were hoping you didn’t have to do that, but, if you did, you were completely on guard.

Pain was the one who suggested the meet up. He had the weekend off, so he wanted to take the open opportunity to spend time with you. You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t a bit hesitant. This was Pain you were talking about. He was your goddamn Twitter crush, and you hadn’t ever imagined you would get to see him in person. The things he said to you made you feel like a school girl giggling over her crush. 

You hoped the hang out would be worth it.

Looking down at your phone, you sent him a message to let him know you were outside of the complex. You could feel everything inside of your stomach swirling around, making you feel queasy. The moment you’d see Pain was just minutes away. It was a moment you’ve always yearned for, but, in reality, you had no idea how to act. This would also be his first time seeing you too, so you hoped you wouldn’t say the wrong thing or come off as an idiot.

God, if this was a dream, you were wishing you weren’t about to wake up.

You felt your phone vibrate in your hand. You looked downward almost instantly to see that Pain had sent you a reply. Your heart quickened inside of your chest when you realized this was real, and you weren’t in a dream.

Pain: cool, i’m nervous as shit right now, but come up to the second floor. i’m in apartment 5

Swallowing thickly, you began to walk towards the front entrance. There were a few people that entered the apartment building, while some made their way out. You honestly felt super dizzy, and the whole scene before you didn’t feel real. Honestly, if you thought too much, you’d probably throw up your breakfast.

You pulled open the front door, feeling the cool air from the inside wrapping around your warm body. Despite the day being cloudy, the humidity was very high. You were practically sweating once you walked outside of your apartment. 

Once fully inside, you looked around the empty corridors. It was super quiet in the complex, and it seemed really nice. It wouldn’t be an overstatement to say that it was better looking than yours.

Turning the corner, you found the elevator. You pressed the small button to the right of it, and itn illuminated almost instantly. You briefly heard the sound of the elevator moving downward towards where you were. You kept frequently checking your phone to make sure Pain hadn’t sent you anymore messages. Your phone had no other notifications, so you knew you were good to keep heading up there. 

The sudden ding from the elevator made all of your thoughts disappear for a second. The metal door opened, revealing an empty elevator. You quickly stepped inside, placing your phone back into your pocket. Your eyes searched the list of buttons that were against the wall of the elevator. You saw the number two displayed, so you reached forward to press it. Once you did so, the door to the elevator closed. 

You played with the skin around your nails as the elevator brought you up to the second floor. Every couple of seconds, it’d shake or make a small noise, but you were used to that. However, you weren’t paying much attention to the space around you. All your brain could think about was what you were going to do when you met Pain. Hell, what were you going to say?

You practically jolted out of your skin when you heard the ding of the elevator. The door slowly opened, showing you the empty hallway before you. 

Fuck, you couldn’t believe this was actually happening. 

You stepped forward so you could exit the elevator. The hallway you entered was pretty quiet. There were apartments going from the left to the right side. You honestly didn’t know what side to look at, but you knew that the numbers were going to start on the left. 

Turning down the hall, you began to scan your eyes along the wooden doors. The numbers were hung clearly against the center, so you could see it right away. 

One..

Two..

Three..

Four..

Five.

Every hair on your body stood up once you realized you were standing before Pain’s apartment. You contemplated running away at that very moment. Maybe you could come up with some great excuse that would seem reasonable. Though, you drove all the way here to meet him. If you backed out, you might never have an opportunity like this again. You also had many opportunities to go home and leave. 

This was your chance, you couldn’t let this slide.

You reached into your pocket to take out your phone. You went to send Pain the text that you were outside of the door. 

You didn’t realize how nervous you were until now. Your thumbs were shaking as you typed out the message to him. With one swift tap, you sent the text. It delivered instantly, and your nerves spiked almost instantly.

You: i’m here!

You quickly shoved your phone away and fixed yourself up while you still had the chance. You wore some ripped baby blue mom jeans with a black crop top that had white letters plastered on the center of the fabric. God, you were really hoping you didn’t look like absolute shit at the moment.

The sound of shuffling coming from behind the door made you pause in your movements. Your heart was beating so fast you could practically hear it in your ears. He was just a few feet away from you. 

You heard the click of the door unlocking, and, before you could even react, the door was being pulled open. Fuck! You felt like you were going to faint. 

Your eyes shot up almost instantly when you saw him standing there. He was real, Pain was now standing before you. You couldn’t believe your eyes when you saw him. The man you had longed to actually meet for months was now here, and you didn’t know what the hell to do. It was almost as if you were lost in him. He looked even more attractive in person. Everything you had seen in pictures and videos was now directly in front of you.

Pain wore a casual outfit. He had on some black sweatpants with a gray crewneck on top. He had his piercings in, and, from what you could see, he seemed to be playing with one of them with his tongue. You could also smell the aroma of his cologne flowing off of him. It was enough to almost intoxicate you.

“Hey.. it’s nice to finally meet you,” his voice was smooth and deep. It sounded just like the audio clips he’d post to Twitter.

Realizing that he actually spoke to you, you shifted around so you could pay better attention to him. “Hi..” you felt so shy in his presence, “It’s nice to meet you too, Pain,”

He stepped beside the door. “Come in,” he motioned for you to step inside. You honestly felt like you were going to throw up, but you had to repress that thought as much as you could. Puking up your bagel didn’t sound like such a great first impression.

You smiled softly, choosing to walk forward into his apartment. It seemed like such a cozy place if you were being honest. The interior was well kept, and there wasn’t a single speck of dust in sight. It also faintly smelled like vanilla, which was calming to you. At least he kept his place nice and tidy. 

“You look very nice, I love your outfit,” he gave you a small smile. 

You lifted your eyes to look at him. He was so gorgeous to look at. You weren’t sure what it was, but it was difficult to pull your eyes away from him. “Thank you! You look nice too,” you rocked on your heels, feeling nervous. You honestly didn’t know what to do nor say. 

Pain eyed you before playing with the strands of his hair. “My bad, I’m so awkward right now because you’re just.. very pretty,” he laughed, “Do you want me to make you something to eat? I might not be the perfect chef, but I can try,”

Your face began to burn again. Pain actually thought you were pretty? You couldn’t believe he was actually saying these things to you. He also offered to cook you something? You never knew that he knew how to cook. Sure, he mentioned eating before, but you always assumed he was eating something that wasn't actual food. 

If you were hungry, you’d probably say yes, but your stomach was still in knots. If you ate, you’d most likely get too queasy. 

Though, Pain’s actions were making your core heat up. You weren’t sure if it was because of the way he was speaking to you, or if it was because of his gentle acts of kindness. You couldn’t make it too obvious though, because your intention wasn’t to try and do something with him that wasn’t the most appropriate. You didn’t want to give off the idea that you were here for something like that. He was a real person after all.

“I’m okay! I’ll probably eat something later,” you replied, “And don’t worry, I feel pretty awkward sometimes too. I understand,”

Pain chuckled, he honestly felt a bit better knowing that you understood him. He hated how shy he could get sometimes, especially with you. It took him so long to gain the courage to send you that message. He was shocked as hell to find out you were single.

He knew you’d be hard to talk to, but it seemed a lot easier than he imagined. He thought he’d be sitting in silence with you, but you kept everything enthusiastic. Pain really appreciated that energy from you.

“Alright, cool, I’ll make sure you have something to eat before you leave then,” he shoved his hands into his pockets, “Do you want to come and chill in my room? We could watch a movie or something,”

You nodded your head almost instantly. “Sure, I’m down for that,” you turned to remove your shoes before you stepped any further into his apartment. You were super curious to see what his bedroom looked like. You had only seen a portion of it in the videos he posted, and, from what you saw, it was a nice space.

Turning around, you began to follow Pain down the hallway. As you walked, you passed by a couple of doors. There was a bathroom at the very end of the hall, and a closet on the right side which was shut.

You trailed behind Pain as he stepped into his bedroom. It was a very large room. It had to be even bigger than yours. 

His bed was queen sized. His sheets were black, and there was a table beside his bed with a lamp sitting atop of it. There were many posters scattered along his walls which included some of his favorite artists, or TV shows. The walls around you were painted with a dark shade of navy blue, which somewhat matched his bed sheets. On the ceiling, he had LED lights lining the corners. There were also vines hanging near almost every inch of the roof. Finally, there was a ceiling fan which was switched off. His room had such a vibe, and it matched who he was as a person.

He had miniscule items too. There was a dresser up against the wall near the window, and he had a small desk in the corner of the room. It was so well organized. You hadn’t seen a guy with a room that nice in such a long time. 

“Your room is so nice,” you walked around the space to look at some of the random items he had placed on top of his dresser. There were pictures of him and some of his friends, and even some cute Funko Pops. 

Pain plopped down on his bed. He watched you walk around his room like you were a child on a field trip with their class. He thought it was kind of amusing to see how curious you were. Pain also found that behavior to be kind of cute.

“Do you see something you like?” he nodded his head as your fingers glided over the many objects around his room.

You turned around so you were now facing him. You felt your cheeks warm with embarrassment. “You just have a lot of cool things. Sorry if I’m being intrusive on your space,” you rubbed the back of your neck as you spoke to him. 

He smiled at you, shaking his head. You were so damn cute to him. He never knew you had such a sweet personality. When he first met you, he thought you were the most intimidating person he ever encountered. Yet, you had such a gentle side. It drew Pain to you almost immediately. He adored every little thing you did. He almost couldn’t get enough of your beauty and who you were as a person. This, this was different, and he could feel it deep down within him. 

He shifted around on his mattress. “Don’t apologize, I don’t mind it one bit. I think curiosity is kind of cute,” he laughed through his nose. 

You giggled, rolling your eyes playfully. You couldn’t help but look at Pain who was sitting before you on his bed. He was right near the edge so his feet were on the floor. You couldn’t lie, he looked very hot sitting like that. His legs were slightly parted open, and he looked so nonchalant with his wrists against his knees like that. Your mouth practically watered at the sight of him.

There was something deep inside of your gut that was telling you that you should make some kind of move. You could feel the heat pooling inside of your panties, and the pure thought of just sitting on his lap was driving you up the wall. You just weren’t sure how Pain would react to that action. 

You stepped towards him slowly so you were now standing directly in front of him. Pain noticed your movements, so he lifted his gaze to meet you staring down at him. He could read your body language so well, and he knew there was something you wanted to do. He couldn’t read minds, but he wanted the same exact thing you did. His cock practically ached inside of his boxers for you. He wanted you more than anything, but he didn’t want to do something that would make you uncomfortable. Fuck, you were so hard to resist.

There was a thick bubble of tension that surrounded the two of you. Pain could feel it, and so could you. Both of you were hesitant to make moves on each other. The pure need you were both feeling was boiling inside of you like a pot on a stove. It was eventually going to pour over, and neither of you knew when that was going to happen. 

“Pain..” you broke the silence that was circling around the room. 

Once he heard your sweet voice, he looked up at you instantly. He was having a hard time trying to hold back. 

“Can I touch you..?” he sounded almost desperate as the words rolled off of his tongue. He felt his cock twitch from the mere thought of being able to place his fingers on you. Pain often wondered how smooth your skin was.

You let out a shaky breath. “Y-Yes.. please, touch me, Pain,” you were almost as needy as he was, but you could care less. You couldn’t deny those feelings anymore.

Pain reached forward so he could place his hands on your hips. He then brought you forward so you could sit on his lap. The warmth from his body caused goosebumps to erupt onto your skin, and, almost instinctively, you put your own hands onto his shoulders. 

Pain’s hands trailed along your waist and your hips. He would occasionally squeeze at the plush around them. The feeling was making you feel even more needy for him. You found yourself unable to pull away. All you craved was Pain and his touch. There was a side of you that wanted to touch him too. You were dying to see how his muscles looked in person. You were always so turned on by how gorgeous his body looked in photos, and the image of it made your body feel as if it was on fire.

Your hands went to cup his cheeks. His skin felt like smooth silk beneath your fingertips. The eye contact between the two of you was intense, and your faces were just inches apart from one another. Your thumbs went to brush against the apples of his cheeks, and Pain could feel his stomach doing flips.

Before you were able to process it, Pain had pressed his lips against yours. 

The feeling of his lips were satisfactory to you. You could faintly taste a hint of fruit that lingered on his tongue. It only made you want to kiss him more. 

Desperately, you wrapped your arms around his neck. Pain’s grip on your body tightened as your soft kisses turned into a more aggressive makeout. His teeth would occasionally nibble on your bottom lip to get some more access to your mouth. He couldn’t get enough of how delicious you were. Your lips were so smooth and soft. He didn’t want to ever stop kissing them.

Your mouth fell slightly agape when you felt the tip of his hard cock brush up against your clit. The friction sent bolts of electricity along your belly, and you could practically feel your panties being soaked from his actions. Pain then took the open opportunity to stick his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss you guys were sharing together. The things he was feeling were driving him insane. He hadn’t felt such euphoria before. He used his right hand to tightly squeeze the plush of your ass. He rested that same palm against your hip so he could slowly grind you against his aching cock. 

A gasp escaped your throat from the touch your clit was receiving. It felt so good, your brain felt as if it was melting from the pleasure. 

What you felt next inside of your mouth shocked you. As Pain’s tongue explored your mouth, you felt the cool metal of a tongue piercing touching your gums. You couldn’t believe he actually had one. Pain had many crazy piercings, so you weren’t exactly the most surprised. However, you didn’t expect to feel it like that, nor did you ever see it when you were talking with him. 

Reaching downward, you pressed your hand against the bulge that formed in his sweatpants. Pain let out a groan once he felt you palming his cock. He couldn’t lie, the strain he felt inside of his boxers was hard to handle. He was a very patient man, but, when it came to you, it was becoming incredibly difficult to do so. 

Pain pulled away, breaking the kiss between you two. The both of you were panting, and your lips were now swollen and puffy. There were seductive looks written on both of your faces. You knew what you both wanted, and it was as clear as day.

“You’re intoxicating.. you know that?” he placed his hand around the base of your throat, giving it a firm hold so you couldn’t pull away from him. Your body shivered as the chilly metal of his rings made contact with your pulse.

You swallowed thickly, looking into Pain’s eyes. “Speak for yourself..” you let out several pants as your body began to heat up even more, “Please.. let me make you feel good, Pain..”

His eyes slightly widened at the sound of your plea. In his mind, he wanted to make you feel good. Pain was always about the other person and their pleasure, so he rarely ever made a move to put his first. However, he wasn’t going to deny your request. 

That meant next time he’d have to repay you for what you did for him.

“Go for it.. I’m not going to stop you,” he used the pad of his thumb to rub your lips.

Those words rang inside of your head, causing you to become very excited. You couldn’t actually believe you were going to go down on Pain. Hell, you imagined this moment many times inside of your head, and you weren’t going to let this chance slip away. You wanted to do your best for him. He deserved to feel something good, and you couldn’t wait to see his cock in front of you.

You quickly maneuvered yourself off of Pain’s lap to place your knees on the floor. You reached forward while Pain leaned back to watch you untie the knot that held his sweatpants around his hips. His breathing was quite heavy and uneven. You had seen him like that plenty of times on his account, and it was always such a turn on for you.

Lifting his hips, you were able to pull his sweatpants down along with his boxers. His cock sprang out instantly. Your eyes landed on the pink tip that leaked with pre-cum. The sight of it made your clit throb with need, and your mouth watered from how nice it looked. He was freshly shaved, and you could see the two metal piercings that sat inside of the base of his cock. It looked much bigger than it did in his videos.

You reached forward with your right hand to wrap your fingers around the shaft of his dick. It was very hot, almost feverish. You slowly began to stroke him. Your eyes frequently flashed upward to look for any signs of discomfort, but you didn’t see any of that. Pain kept licking his lips and playing with the piercing on his tongue. 

You moved yourself forward so your head was now closer to his cock. You stuck your tongue out so you could lick the pre-cum off of the tip. Pain sucked in a harsh breath once he felt your warm, hot tongue against his dick. Your small kitten licks turned into drags against the base, and, finally, you wrapped your pretty mouth around his cock. 

Pain let out a groan once he felt your mouth around him. He couldn’t help but entangle his fingers into your hair as you slowly took him deeper into you. The cold piercings touched the top of your mouth, causing you to shiver. You never thought those kinds of piercings were that hot, but you started to wonder what it’d be like to have them inside of you. The lewd thought made you wet. You’d have to come and see him again to find out what that was like.

“Fuck.. like that, baby, suck my fucking dick..” his left hand trailed along your cheek. You couldn’t help but lean into his touch. It was oddly comforting to feel him touching you. 

Your tongue swirled around the tip of his cock, earning a tight tug on your hair from Pain. You’d occasionally look up at him so you could see his face, because seeing him like that made you so turned on. He had the most handsome looking face when he was feeling pleasure. The soft groans that fell from his lips, or the way his mouth was parted open. All of it was so attractive.

You pulled your head back, causing a “pop” noise to come from your mouth. You continued to jerk Pain with your hand. You looked up at him as you did so, batting your eyelashes to receive some kind of reaction from him. Pain thought you looked so damn sexy like that. Your innocent eyes made his cock twitch in your hand, and it was hard fighting the urge to absolutely fuck the shit out of your throat. You were already taking him very well, so he wondered what else you were capable of.

You let some of your saliva drip onto his cock. You then wrapped your mouth around him again, which, in turn, caused Pain to grunt. He placed his hand behind your head so he could start bobbing you against his cock. Since he had a hold of your head, he started to pick up the pace. He started to make you go faster, but not too fast to where it was unbearable. The noises he let out were so erotic, and it was almost like music to your ears. 

Pain dug his nails into your scalp. You were better than he ever imagined. “Yeah.. you’re so fucking good at this,” he bobbed your head slower this time, “Gonna fill your throat with my c-cum..”

You placed your hands against Pain’s thighs as he started to take more control of your head. Your core was on fire from how hot he sounded. You could feel the way his thigh muscles clenched and flexed beneath your fingers from how often he moved them. 

Slowly, Pain started moving your head deeper down his cock. You could feel his girth slowly inching itself closer to the back of your throat, and his dick piercings were following along with it. You could feel tears brimming on your lash line as the tip of his cock poked near the start of your throat. Saliva pooled around it, causing some drool to slip out of the corners of your mouth. Your eyes lifted to meet Pain's, which were staring down at you with a smirk. 

He then let your head go, causing you to gasp for air while you held onto the base of his cock. There was spit covering your chin, and your throat felt kind of raspy. Though, you didn’t mind how you looked. You knew Pain would think you were sexy regardless.

He moved a piece of hair away from your face as you panted heavily. “Such a good little slut.. you take me as if your throat was made for me..” he stroked your cheek with his palm, eyeing you as if you were candy.

You smiled, slowly stroking Pain in your fist. You wanted to go all out again, because you wanted to please him more than anything. The idea of Pain reaching his orgasm because of you was only encouraging you to make sure he cums. You honestly felt cocky thinking it, but you actually sucked off Pain of all people. He was complimenting how you were sucking him off, and it made you feel so good.

Leaning forward, you took Pain into your mouth again. He groaned instantly once your warm mouth surrounded him again. Your tongue swirled around the tip, causing his hips to buck forward. 

“Fuck! Keep doing that.. you’re so good for me,” he grabbed at your head as you kept taking him in. In a way, you found something you could use to make him feel good. You made sure to keep note of that. 

Pain started to thrust his hips upwards as the pleasure took over him. You let out a small gagging noise as his tip kissed the back of your throat. Your nails dug into the skin of his thighs from the feeling, but you were able to take it. You didn’t want to disappoint Pain in any aspect, so you took him as much as you could.

As his cock went towards the back of your throat, you hummed against the tip so he could feel some pleasure. The sensation sent waves of euphoria along his abdomen. You were truly good at what you did. He couldn’t believe you were hidden amongst his fans. 

You were in fact the best fan he’s ever had.

Pain suddenly grabbed your head aggressively backward. The release caused you to gasp, and it allowed air to finally enter through your lungs. He was staring down at you with these serious eyes that made you shiver. He had a similar expression you had seen numerous times in the videos he posted. Those heavy eyes that could scare anyone, and a stare that made blood turn cold. You knew it all too well. 

He tilted your head backward so you could look up at him. “When I cum, I want you to swallow every last drop,” his voice caused your thighs to press together, “Got it?”

Your head nodded almost instantly. Pain cumming down your throat made you all the more eager to finish him off. The way he sounded was driving your mind crazy. You hadn’t been in a situation this erotic before, and you had zero regrets.

Pain released your head, leaving you to start sucking him off again. This time, you paid more attention to the tip of his cock. Your tongue danced along the top, swirling around and teasing the small hole where his release would come out of. He seemed to really enjoy that, because he let out several deep groans every time you did it. You also made sure to maintain eye contact.

“Such nice eyes.. shit, I’d love to see those eyes looking at me when I fuck you..” he gripped at the blanket beneath his bottom.

The knot inside of his belly was growing tighter as you kept teasing the tip of his cock. He felt his release threatening to come at any moment, and he knew it was going to be intense. The idea of your sweet little throat being filled with his cum was driving him mad. You’d look so sexy with his seed in your mouth. Only he belonged inside of you like that. He should be the only one ruining your pretty throat.

You felt his cock twitching inside of your mouth. You watched Pain grit his teeth as you kept going. “F-Fuck, ‘gonna cum..” his voice was pretty much breathless as he spoke to you.

There was suddenly a thick, white, sticky liquid that filled your mouth. It was warm, and it coated your throat almost instantly. Pain held your head in place as he reached his orgasm. Several curses fell from his lips, your name included. He didn’t want a single drop to escape. You needed to swallow every bit of it.

After a few seconds, Pain let your head go. You instantly swallowed his cum which was inside of your mouth. The taste was as expected of him. 

“Open,” he ordered.

Parting your mouth wide enough, you stuck your tongue out to prove that all of his cum was gone and down your throat. Pain smirked at how hot you looked like that. He hadn’t gotten head like that in a long time, so he considered you a special one. He knew deep down this wasn’t going to be the last time he saw you. He wanted to see you again, and not just one or two times.

Your lips were swollen, your eyes were slightly glassy, and your once well-kept hair was now somewhat messy. Saliva had collected onto the corners of your mouth, but Pain didn’t give two fucks. To him, you were the most attractive person he’s ever laid his eyes upon.

Pain shifted himself around so he could pull his pants back up. He was kind of exhausted after all of the fun the two of you had. He could also tell that you were worn out from it too.

As he stood up, Pain reached his hand out towards you so you could get yourself onto your feet. He didn’t want the night to end, nor did you. 

“So, how about that dinner I promised you?”

[babyboibucky]

Salt, Sugar and Viruses

Pairing: Office!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You’ve been secretly making coffee for Bucky at the office.

Word Count: 1,962

Warnings: Two idiots just doing idiot things

A/N: This was done in a haste so I kinda hate it lol but I can’t get this story out of my head and thanks to @bitchassbucky for pushing me to write a full fic of this 🥰 luv u 🥺

MAIN MASTERLIST

"You have a crush on Barnes' grumpy ass?!" Sam choked out.

You angrily hushed him and frantically looked around the pantry to make sure that your secret was still safe. Fortunately, only you, Sam and Nat were inside having your respective afternoon breaks.

"What? He's nice. And cute." you told Sam as you stirred your coffee, smiling to yourself at the thought of your office crush, Bucky.

"How'd you even meet him, he works all the way at the IT department." Sam asked.

Nat snorted recalling the encounters she witnessed for the past few months. Some of which were unintentional but most of them? You had carefully planned out just so you could come up with an excuse to request for Bucky's assistance.

"She might have gotten viruses in her computer once...or twice. Or thrice." Nat teased.

The first time you met Bucky was when most of your files suddenly got corrupted. It was hella embarrassing because you didn't know shit about how computers worked and well, you've been illegally downloading torrents since the office's internet connection was a gift from the internet gods. Without a doubt, your computer was a nest for viruses.

Bucky showed up in your floor that morning and you almost sunk into your seat from shame. You'd heard the IT Department complain about everybody else in the office messing up their computer systems. When you turned around, Bucky greeted you with a charming smile and soft hello. You could still remember how he felt when he stayed behind you as you sat on your chair, bending over to take your mouse in his hand.

God, he smelled so good you almost turned your head to nuzzle your face into his neck.

He was very soft-spoken you realized; Bucky was kind enough to walk you through the process and to be honest, you couldn't recall a damn thing he said. Something about firewalls? And shields? Whatever, you didn't really listen. You just stared at Bucky as he explained everything, solving your problem in less than fifteen minutes.

Since then, your crush for Bucky grew bigger. You'd entered the elevator together a couple of times, shared small conversations that made your heart flutter. When those little moments didn't seem enough, you started your devious plan to fuck up your computer a bit. By the third time Bucky fixed your computer, he was already comfortable enough to tease you for being a "virus magnet".

"Hello? Young lady, come back to earth." Sam snapped his finger right in front of your face, interrupting your thoughts.

You clicked your tongue at him and swatted his hand away. "If you ever tell this to anyone, Wilson. You are dead." you warned, poinitng a finger at him.

Sam rolled his eyes, "It's so unfair how he's kind to you. Last time I requested for his assistance he got all smug and grumpy at me." he complained.

Nat shook her head in amusment, "That's because you've been downloading porn. You know the IT department can access our browser histories, right?"

You choked on your coffe, "WHAT?!"

Nat narrowed her eyes at you, "You been up to no good for you to react like that?"

You faceplamed, "I've been stalking his Facebook account."

Sam chortled, "What are you, in high school? Jesus, calm down. You're gonna be fine. Why don't you just tell him you like him?"

You made a face, "I'm not Nat to have the guts to do that."

Nat hummed, bringing her mug to the sink to wash it. "Why don't you start by making him coffee?"

"I don't know how he likes his coffee."

You received a pointed look from both your friends. You groaned in defeat, "Okay, fine. I know how Bucky likes his coffee."

Nat smirked, "Stalker."

-

Bucky always arrived in the office half an hour before nine in the morning. This gives him time to settle into his cubicle, buy a sandwich at the stall downstairs and to make himself a cup of coffee. It was his daily routine and upon going back to his desk after buying his breakfast sandwich, Bucky was surprised to see a cup of newly brewed coffee on his desk.

He looked around but there were no signs of anyone. There wasn't even a note of some sort. Carefully, he brought the cup to his face and inhaled its scent. Shrugging, he took a tiny sip.

-

"How's the little secret admirer doing?" Nat asked, grabbing a chair and sitting down beside you.

You deadpanned, "I've been leaving him his coffee for an entire week now and nothing's happened yet."

Nat frowned, "Are you kidding me? Why would you expect for something to happen when you haven't been leaving any clues?" she said.

"I'm shy, okay?! Maybe I should hide somewhere, check for his reaction. See whether I have a chance." you shrugged.

It was stupid of you to leave the coffee on Bucky's desk. You never stayed to wait for him. You just left it there without a note or anything that would even give him a clue about you and your little crush on him. You knew the reason why, of course. You were afraid of rejection. Sometimes, you'd feel like you have a chance with him since he was always so kind and warm to you. Not to mention, everyone in the office knows him to be grumpy but around you, he was totally the opposite of that.

But then again, maybe he was just nice to you because you were nice to him too.

-

One morning after leaving Bucky his coffee, you finally decided to leave him a note. You ran back to your cubicle to get a post-it and a pen. Before you could even walk around your desk, you spotted Bucky headed over to the pantry, the cup of coffee in his hand.

"Fuck, okay. Maybe I should just directly ask him out?" you thought to yourself.

You quickly followed Bucky into the pantry and almost whined when you saw that Sam was inside as well. You widened your eyes at him, signalling for him to leave but Sam was preoccupied on observing Bucky who seemed to be in a bad mood.

"Rough morning?" Sam just had to ask as you awkwardly stood by the doorway, finding the right timing to butt in.

Bucky's forehead creased as he let out a huff, "Rough weeks, actually." he answered.

You opened your mouth to say something comforting, wanting to lift Bucky's spirits up but he turned around and glanced at you and then back to Sam.

"Does anyone hate me in this office?" Bucky asked.

You and Sam exchanged looks, both of utter confusion before shaking your heads in unison. "Why'd you ask?" Sam asked.

Bucky lifted the cup of coffee that you made, "Someone's been making me coffee." he stated.

You cleared your throat, "...is it bad?" you asked.

Bucky made a face, "Terrible actually."

Ouch.

"I mean, the first time I saw it I was actually flattered. And then I took a sip and it's just...salty." Bucky said, pouring the coffee into the sink before throwing it into the bin.

Sam's head snapped towards your direction, his face almost red from biting back a laugh. Your face heated up at the realization that you've been putting salt into Bucky's coffee instead of sugar. All this time. You wanted to disappear right then and there. And Sam had to be the one to witness your huge failure.

"I thought it was a mistake since the next day, there was another coffee on my desk. I tried it out and it's still salty. It lasted a week, you guys. And I was dumb enough to keep on tasting it in hopes that it might have been a genuine mistake. But now I'm starting to think that someone hates me that much to fuck my coffee up." Bucky explained, face scrunched up into a mixture of irritation and curiosity.

Sam failed to stifle his laughter and exploded, "Funniest shit I've ever heard." he told Bucky before standing up and making his way to the door where you stood.

Your face was red and if the salt and sugar mishap was already humiliating enough, Sam decided to make things even worse for you.

"You really need to check the labels before pouring shit into his coffee." and with that, Sam gave your shoulder a squeeze before leaving the pantry.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself. When you opened them, Bucky was staring at you with an expression you couldn't paint.

"Did you...were you the one leaving me coffee?" he asked.

You secretly pinched yourself in the arm to check whether you were just dreaming. Fuck, you hoped you were having a nightmare but the pain that you felt made it clear that you totally fucked up.

You nodded in embarrassment.

"You hate me that much?" Bucky asked in disbelief, as if he was offended that out of all people, it had to be you.

You quickly shook your head, "No, God no! I just...it's because I..." you stammered, trying to find the courage to spit out the words you've been dying to tell Bucky.

Bucky tilted his head, "Because you...?" he urged.

Your hands balled into fists as you let out another deep breath. Bucky probably hates you right now, but whatever. This was your only chance and to hell, you were going to confess.

"Because I like you?"

You didn't think that Bucky's confused look could even turn more...well, confused. But he was looking at you incredulously as though you've grown a second head, or a third head.

"You like me so you decided to put salt in my coffee?" he asked again.

You honestly didn't know who sounded even more stupid now, you or Bucky. Because if he still didn't understand what was going on, he was dense as fuck.

"No!" you explained. "I wanted to make you a decent cup of coffee but I guess I was too careless and didn't realize that I've been putting in salt instead of sugar." you said.

Bucky didn't say anything after that. He just stared at you, but he didn't seem confused anymore. If any, he looked like he was processing the entire situation.

"You like me." he stated again.

Will your embarrassment ever end?!

"Yes, Bucky. And I messed up my chance and you know what? I'm just going to show myself out and leave you alone." you told him and forced a fake grin before attempting to walk out.

A hand gripped your wrist, pulling you back into the pantry. This time, Bucky was the one who looked embarrassed.

"I might have...done something pretty stupid too." he said, avoiding your gaze as he rubbed the back of his neck.

You eyed him suspiciously, "What do you mean?"

"I uhh...I did something to your computer...the day before you requested for my assistance for the first time." Bucky admitted shyly.

It was your turn to get muddled at Bucky's confession. "But why?" you asked.

Bucky offered a shy smile, "Because I've been seeing you around the building and thought you were cute."

And then everything clicked. It was a light bulb moment for the both of you.

"Oh. Ohhh okay. I see." you said before suddenly breaking into laughter.

Bucky joined you and scratched his head, "I guess we're both idiots." he said, placing his hands inside his pockets as he stared at you.

"This went...way more interesting than I thought." you said with a nod.

There was a pause before you decided to speak up, "So, do you want coffee?"

Bucky beamed at you as he nodded, "As long as you'll use sugar this time."

-

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