#this time my hair is part of the project
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Me, cutting my hair for an art final for the 3rd time: Maybe I’m mentally unstable. Or, maybe, those who don’t cut their hair, are cowards.
#this time my hair is part of the project#last time I just cut my hair at midnight and did an entire self portrait in 2 hours#with my new bangs#they were long bangs tho#I only cut off like 18 inches#but my hair is like 35 inches long so#I also once did a self portrait where I had mascara tears on my face lol#I was gonna use blood in my current project but it’s a boihazard#so I have to use hair instead
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#my art#project moon#limbus company#lcb dongbaek#style mimicry is hard and simple styles are even more deceptively difficult to replicate#i like how these turned out and it was fun in the end though#shading the hair is the hardest part i just kind of put shadows where ever and hoped it looked good enough#edit: it's kind of late but... new watermarks because im moderately paranoid#sorry to obnoxiously watermark these in a kind of ugly way + the noise filter but also at the same time im not#reminder to always visibly credit your icon art and ask permission if the artist asks you to#i hope anyone who uses uncredited art goes to hell no matter what#fanart
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Folks, if you would kindly take some time to pray for me over the next three or so days. Midterms are hitting pretty hard.
#it wouldn't be so bad#but one professor missed an entire WEEK of classes due to personal reasons#so we have a LOT of extra work to catch up on and also our mid term projects need to be caught up because of that#and i procrastinated one of my other classes because I thought i had everything i needed and focused on another class instead#AND IT TURNS OUT I DID NOT HAVE EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I HAD#all of that would be doable#but i picked up another part time job#and the job i was already working has been ramping up#also extra-curricular activities that i can't avoid have been pressing#AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF MY WHOLE FAMILY LEFT TO GO TO A WEDDING OVER THE WEEKEND AND I HAD TO STAY TO LOOK AFTER ALL THE ANIMALS AND MY DAD#(of the two it's harder to look after my dad XD)#WHO THE HECK PLANS A WEDDING THE WEEK OF MIDTERMS???? I AM SO SALTY!#This week has been so stressful#i think my hair is going to be falling out#or at least turning grey
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shoganai daburu nanda……….
#milgram#milgram fanart#milgram project#mikoto kayano#john milgram#milgram john#midokotos just… hinted by the green part i guess… hmm.. sorry mido ill draw you next..#es’ art journal#wanted to say it was my favorite sketch but i took 3 hours crying over centralizing the damn drawing….#sigh… but personall a fav mikoto doodle… his hair looks more detailed here thanks to this brush. i also finally drew the t2 outfit for the#second time. so like thays an improvement…#its 4AM PELASE
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I'm gonna be honest, I have zero explanation or excuses for this one. Self-indulgent crossover just for the sake of it. If you get it you get it. Posts with a target audience of one person (me).
#trigun#touhou#touhou project#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#me art#context for non-touhous for the comic: the character Vash is replacing here is a member of a species with horns#but she hides them to pass as human using hair buns. but it'd look silly with his design so he doesn't have that option lol#also ok listen. the no explanation part was a lie.#just combining 2 out of 3 of my favorite fictional characters of all time (Kasen & Vash) because#the similarities between them are insane. they might as well be the same character. like. the list is endless#something something if I had a penny I'd have two pennies#this started as a silly joke but I literally have thoughts about this au now. can I talk about the flower symbolism I need to ta-#funny how my feelings on komakasen and vashwood are similar too btw. don't ship it but not Not ship it lmao
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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#mitsuhide rouen#hisame lugis#snow white with the red hair#akagami no shirayuki hime#akagami no shirayukihime#okay quite a few notes this time#first - i've been listening to a lot of hadestown and my husband and i were talking about which of the ans cast would turn around#we both agreed mitsuhide would turn around 😭#my husband said kiki would forget you were following her lmfao#second - this is a spiritual successor to the one of obi and kiki#so the flame is the same#it also reminds me of the snowy zen one i did a while back#okay and lastly: my next colouring(s) will be a part of a larger project#so it'll probably be a while before i post anything#as i said before#it'll be my love letter to ans and its community#okay enjoy :)
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Gotta sweep up all this Dust (Patreon)
#Doodles#Mother 3#Duster#I am still thinking of He and yet he still hasn't completely come back into my crosshairs#If you can believe it - it was actually the fic printing that was like halfway to the goal of going out of my mind about him again and well-#Lol ♪ I do still plan to! I just underestimated how much of a run-up to him it would be#I'll get there! Certainly keeping busy in the meanwhile lol#But he does get /some/ screentime in the meantime at least haha#I actually injured my own ankle a while ago :P Couldn't tell you exactly when or what but it's been kinda flaring up lately#Mostly when I got for walks - doesn't have to be super long walks either which I'm not super jazzed about#But I did get an ankle compress-brace which has been good for it :) Can walk a bit more regularly!#It was mostly giving my pain away that prompted him back lol sorry Duster#I did at least power up the game to try and see which side his limp is on - it's hard to tell!#It looks like his strides are more confident/longer with his left leg but with the way his sprite mirrors sometimes but not other times#I don't know if he actually says which leg it is somewhere in the game either so I'm just projecting for now lol#I imagine it's only easier to stress out the strong side by overextending - why not both!#It's also still really fun to draw him covered in scars haha#Probably could've gone for arm hair too but it might've muddled the scars and aren't those the important part lol#And a little singy Duster/Lucky to round out :)#I imagine he has a weak voice if he tried projecting but hmm I'm not sure! I really do want to get to know him better!#There's gotta be a reason he was put on the bass right haha#Probably a nice whispery singing voice ♪
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Ope, I’ve done the clothing I wonder what time it is now,
SKINNNNNNNNN
the bane and joy of my existence yayyyyyy
#And I can’t even finish the clothing cause SOMEBODY decided to put their hands behind the head AND wear gloves so I can’t do the gloves#Until I do the hair which I can’t do until I do the skin#Because colors#And if you do one part of the skin you have to do all parts of the skin because good luck making an exact replica of the same tone twice :D#I don’t want to do legggggsssss but SOMEBODY didn’t want to wear pants today so they’ve got the have flesh legs#(Every time I mention this somebody it is completely my fault. Thus is the life of a maker :(( )#Why did I go down the path of watercolor-er#An art medium which relies almost entirely on the color#When in every other medium colors absolutely ruin any and all projects#Why are you my favourite medium I do not understand#Lamp attempts to art
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conversation with the previous self [yesterday I found some of my art from when it was 2017 and I had a trollsona]
#em draws stuff#oc time again hehe#some things never change (my desire to dye my hair orange waxes and wanes but does not ever entirely go away)#one person on this website may remember petrii on account of Having Been There At The Time but I shall not say Whom#honestly I do not Remember a ton about her - do recall more about the parts of the project that were primarily about#installing middling-famous french actors from strange comedies into our homestuck story...#anyway shoutout to nat [note: she is not the person of whom I spoke] for saying that I ought to redraw her. here's she's!#got another project in mind with sketchbook stuff from 2016-2018 but we shall see what comes of it in time :]
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Old doodles from Dec. 2021
#limbus company#project moon#my art#these may be a year and a half old but i still like them for the most part#i dont like how hong lu & ryoshu came out tho#ryoshu's hair is so hard to draw orz#you can TELL that this is old bc ishmael's number at the time was 7 not 8#old art#lcb ishmael#lcb hong lu#lcb gregor#lcb ryoshu#fanart
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world's normalest guy spends $100 on nendoroid parts
#txt#tbd#i triple checked and still messed up the neck peg part of the order AGAIN LOL so ill have to tell em its fine#its birthday money so its fine . .. i need more projects#i bought two projects worth of parts this time :3#so i will space it out and have a good whiles worth of work to do! and then i will have two more little guys!#i have potentially three more after that to make but#im hopingggg for a specific part to come in stock#before ordering for any of those#alsooo i might need to restock materials after this batch#i might even need more colors of paint for this but we'll see what i can mox#mix *#id also like to make custom stands for them!#i have an official nendo now !! thanks to my bf :3 so i have the real thing to reference if i do make some#im so !! i love working on these#and itd be fun to have a whole array of my oc figures in the Real#i actually found hairs that work shockingly well for my othrr 2 characters which like#have strange haircuts to find so i was surprised#the hair thatd be perfect for one of the other three characters is out of stock .. i havent found any others like it#ANYWAY#ineed to get one of these fucking jobs to hire me so i can spend my paychecks on the hobby instead pff#but birthday money is fine#yay yay#love u guys !!
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listening to music on blast removing my own sutures x
#vibez tbh#anyway . i have my medical tape off rn bc i just took a shower#will remove this thing then put it back on . but anyway slightly sinking in. had a what have i done what have i#become kind of moment . like i am no longer in pain so i can think now . i cant feel my nose or my thighs or my jaw properly#looked at my face and i was like oh . ok. got held up at iran passport security started saying my prayers#and they were like we dont think you are the person in your passport. and i had to show them evidence etc like#yeah i literally am unrecognisable as a person actually. same w the UK e-gates#i have someone else hair laser glued onto mine. i have a part of my body#grafted onto another part of my body. i had my nose broken and restructured.#i had half of my corneal tissue removed to see better. on their own these are all minor#but altogether at the same time i look. different.#it's so fascinating. interesting . etc. like genuinely what the fuck#to wake up and just look like a completely different person . knowing you have been rearranged and subtracted from and added to.#i feel like an art project. i feel like art. i feel like a monster. i feel fascinated.#i feel fascinating.#still have 8 lives left its alright .#when i had femto lasik done (which is supposed to be pretty much painless) i experienced the worst pain of my life#this is because i forgot to tell them about the grafting under my eyes and because there were two initially imperceptible wounds/scars#in both of my eyes. i felt the heat and pressure inside my eyes and i felt them cutting into#infinitely small points of pain. my head felt warm and my eyes were melting. my doctor apologised for not seeing them before#and he told me to focus on the green light in the middle of the red and i did . and they spread into a thousand stars#and i kept repeating to myself JUST GREEN NOTHING ELSE JUST THE GREEN NOTHING ELSE until it was over#i spent the next day in agony despite the pressure lenses and the apologies#but that constellation of green and red overlayed on nothingness#and patterns generated by blood vessels and lasers#was one of the most beautiful things i have ever seen to this day.#maybe the most beautiful thing . i dont know.
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i just had a very long complicated dream about some very ooc homestuck kids. jade might be rooted in some form of fanon at least but i dunno
#posts#i could b wrong abt jade. i really liked the way she was in this though#she was all the yay happy im jade harley niceness but also like. very self-righteous and impulsive#and very emotional. and stubborn. and protective of people she thought were being treated unfairly#she had an extreme reaction thinking someone was in danger cb of an outburst so she herself had a massive outburst and was panicking until-#-she found out they were okay and alive for now and then switched to just clinging desperately to them and getting very angry at anyone who#didnt show the same level of care and protectiveness for them than she was#like she was fully creating a two sides issue and staunchly choosing a side#and then when it didnt look like things were gona go any better she zapped her and her friend and one person who seemed kinda-#- neutral-positive onto a spaceship to escape as far away as possible#so. that. she was consistently the most easygoing with this random guy my dream isekai'd into the situation. which at times made her an-#-enabler or something bc she prioritized his comfort over any change ever even ones that could have been good for him#johns main part in this Story was he kinda just had an autistic meltdown and then pov guy had a similar situation not long later#on a larger scale and people in general were just even less nice about him because he was older and hadnt grown up there lol#also this dream was very much from random guys pov which was My pov#but it wasnt Me i was just fully some character. anyways#after pov guys massive outburst he runs back home where john is and john is not very sympathetic#he was very much projecting the shame an embarrassment he felt bc even though the people there at least knew him they still werent nice to-#-him either#so it was a ''i know from experience that You should know better than to have needs in public'' type deal#originally rose was there and then my brain switched her out for roxy. im so sorry rose#but either way the lalondechild had such a murky existence and it only solidified into roxy at the end where the confrontation thing was-#happening. with the jade freakout#there was also some Superpower Awakening shit happening? previously mentioned w jade. but john when pov guy came home had a white streak in#his hair and jades went FULLY white when she blew up#so thats cool i guess. her hair went back to normal the next time she was seen on the ship#there was some montage shit going on#anyways. insane fucking dream. can i steal this shit and make ocs.#like i said these kids were pretty ooc. i feel like parts were definitely still rooted in some perception of the characters butttt#its was just one or two small things. idk man all i know is i am thinking so hard about this
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One of the biggest problems with trying to do custom Figmas (and trust me, there are many) is that sometimes I'll get my hand on a really nice doll and I'll be like "Frick. I don't even like this series but this is too nice to Frankenstein for my project."
#i talk#ITS A STRUGGLE#This one was an actual steal of a deal but holy frick it's got the best articulation / range of motion of literally any Figma I've ever had#it's a shame it's from frickin SAO I cannot STAND that series#I was thinking ''this is great I can easily butcher this thing with no remorse'' but no#it's just a really good Figma#It's also not compatible with the parts I was planning to use it for HOWEVER! I'm going to try and do a mold for the hair#because it's got great hair texture and I don't trust my ability to do that#Now it's time to learn how to do molds for dolls....#so much to learn just for a few simple Figma customs...#This all started with the frickin Richas figma and then it spiraled into harder and harder projects#I haven't even finished Richas because painting his skin wound up being a bigger issue than I thought#But I think I have a better method now#I don't have the ventilation to do it though so I'm dragging my feet waiting to haul my tools over to Tio's house eventually to keep workin#I don't have time to do much of anything these days though#so it's been more of an ''accumulate parts'' process the past few weeks
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Pain and suffering and pain
#FUCK!!!! SHIT!!!!!!#i know that fucking crying over mildly fucking up a poster is probably indicative of me feeling like shit in general#and that this was just a catalyst for a long needed breakdown#but i'm mainly just upset over fucking up the poster i was working on#the composition was so good. i've literally spent so fucking long aitting and waiting for it to dry and getting headaches from spraypaint#and i fucked it up! and the worst part is that it isn't even Bad#it's just fucking. mid now.#i went and fucked it up with my shitty fucking lettering because i'm a painfully mediocre human being#it had such a good composition. it looked so fucking cool. and now it's Fine.#now it's fucking obvious that it's a high school project made in a single evening#and i have no time to fix it and i dont even have anyone ti bitch to#god i feel so fucking stupid. it could have been so good. fuck.#i want to fix it. i want to go back and start from scratch and rip it up and rip my fucking hair out#but i'm so tired and i started working on it 9 hours ago#and i don't have 9 more hours to spare#i need to sleeo and go to school and do the million other things i willingly signed up for#…it looked so good. fuck.
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