#he was very much projecting the shame an embarrassment he felt bc even though the people there at least knew him they still werent nice to-

[felidthing]

i just had a very long complicated dream about some very ooc homestuck kids. jade might be rooted in some form of fanon at least but i dunno

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Michelangelo’s The Risen Christ: Discovering the sacred in the profane.

The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection.

- Michelangelo Buonarroti

While a visit to Rome’s grand squares like Piazza Navona is at the top of everyone’s list, there is much more to the Eternal City. The Piazza della Minerva, is one of Rome’s more peculiar squares and is a must-see for lovers of Bernini’s work.

As one of the smaller squares in Rome, Piazza della Minerva holds some interesting sites. Built during Roman times, the square derives its name from the Goddess, Minerva, the Roman Goddess of wisdom and strategic warfare. During the 13th Century, the decision was made to build a Christian Church on top of what was once a square dedicated to a pagan Goddess – and so the church of Santa Maria Sopra Minerva was born, a beautiful example of Gothic architecture and Rome’s only Gothic church.

In fact this is the only Gothic church in Rome. It resembles the famous Church of Santa Maria Novella in Florence. There are three aisles inside the church. The soaring arches and the ceiling in blue are outstanding. The deep blue colours dominate the structure while the golden touches promote the intricate design. There are paintings of gold stars and saints. The stained glass windows are beautiful too.

In the centre of the Piazza is an elephant with an Egyptian obelisk on its back, one of Bernini’s last sculptures erected by Bernini for Pope Alexander VII and possibly one of the most unusual sculptures in Rome. There are several theories which aim to decipher Bernini’s inspiration for the sculpture, some of which point to Bernini’s study of the first elephant to visit Rome, while others point to a more satirical combination of a pagan stone with a baroque elephant in front of a Christian church.

Tourists flock to see the elephant but more often than not they miss out visiting an almost forgotten marble masterpeiece by Michelangelo himself inside the church. This controversial statue has resided in the Santa Maria sopra Minerva Church in Rome for almost five hundred years. Indeed The Risen Christ by Michelangelo is one of the artist's least admired works. While modern observers frequently have found fault with the statue, it satisfied its patrons enormously and was widely admired by contemporaries. Not least, the sculpture has suffered from the manner in which it is presently displayed and from biased photographic reproduction that emphasises unfavorable and inappropriate views of Christ.

Around 2017 I was fortunate on a visit back to London to see once again Michelangelo’s marble masterpiece, The Risen Christ, which was being displayed in all its naked glory at an exhibition at the National Gallery.

This was another version of this great sculpture that no one has got round to covering up. It has just come to Britain. Michelangelo’s first version has been lent to the National Gallery, in London, for its exhibition Michelangelo and Sebastiano del Piombo in 2017. It came from San Vincenzo Monastery in Bassano Romano, where it languished in obscurity until it was recognised as Michelangelo’s lost work in 1997.

I found it profoundly moving then as I had seen the other partially clothed one on several visits to the church in Rome. It has always perplexed me why this beautiful work of art has been either shunned to the side with hidden shame or embarrassment when it holds up such profound sacred truth for both art lover or a Christian believer (or both as I am).

Michelangelo made a contract in June 1514 AD that he would make a sculpture of a standing, naked figure of Christ holding a cross, and that the sculpture would be completed within four years of the contract. Michelangelo had a problem because the marble he started carving was defective and had a black streak in the area of the face. His patrons, Bernardo Cencio, Mario Scapucci, and Metello Vari de' Pocari, were wondering what happened when they hadn't heard for a while from Michelangelo. Michelangelo had stopped work on The Risen Christ due to the blemish in the marble, and he was working on another project, the San Lorenzo facade. Michelangelo felt grief because this project of The Risen Christ was delayed. Michelangelo ordered a new marble block from Pisa which was to arrive on the first boat. When The Risen Christ was finally finished in March 1521 AD Michelangelo was only 46 years old.

It was transported to Rome and this 80.75 inches tall marble statue was installed at the left pillar of the choir in the church Santa Maria sopra Minerva, by Pietro Urbano, Michelangelo's assistant (Hughes, 1999). It turns out that Urbano did a finish to the feet, hands, nostrils, and beard of Christ, that many friends of Michelangelo described as disastrous). Furthermore, later-on in history, nail-holes were pierced in Christ's hands, and Christ's genitalia were hidden behind a bronze loincloth.

Because people have changed this sculpture over time; many are disappointed with this work of art because it is presently different than the original work that Michelangelo made. The Risen Christ had no title during Michelangelo's lifetime. This sculpture was given the name it has now, because Christ is standing like the traditional resurrected saviour, as seen in other similar works of art.

It was in discussion with an art historian friend of mine currently teaching I was surprised through her to discover the sculpture’s uncomfortably controversial history. There is no doubt Michelangelo’s marvellous marble creation has  raised robust debates about where beauty as an aesthetic sits between the sacred and the profane. And nothing exemplifies that better than the phallus on Michelangelo’s The Risen Christ.

For the majority of its time there, however, the phallus has been carefully draped with a bronze loincloth - incongruous at best, and prudish at worst, but either way a less than subtle display of the historic Church’s discomfort with the full physicality of Christ.

Indeed, it is worth noting that this attitude prevails, at least in some sense, into the twentieth-century: the version of the statue in Rome remains covered to this day, and much of the critical attention the sculpture has received after Michelangelo’s death has been grating. Romain Rolland, an early biographer, described it as ‘the coldest and dullest thing he ever did’, whilst Linda Murray bluntly dubbed the work ‘Michelangelo’s chief and perhaps only total failure’. But Michelangelo himself saw no such mistake. The censored statue seen in Santa Maria sopra Minerva is what we might call his second draft.

It’s interesting to note that when artist was originally commissioned to sculpt a risen Christ in 1514, he had all but completed it before realising that a vein of black marble ran across Jesus’ face, marring the image of classical perfection which he so wished to emulate. It had nothing to do with the phallus. Furious, Michelangelo abandoned this Christ - the one I saw at the National Gallery - and began again. Even given a fresh chance, he chose to retain Christ’s complete nudity.

Why was this of such importance to Michelangelo? Why did he so strongly wish to craft the literal manhood of Christ, as never depicted before? Part of the answer may lie in his historical context: the Renaissance in Italy was driven in the part by the remains of Roman antiquity discovered there; study of the classics became commonplace, and scholars tended to consider the Graeco-Roman world as a cultural ideal, with ancient art in particular being emblematic of a lost Golden Age. Famously, classical sculpture was almost always nude.

In his interview with The Telegraph in 2015, Ian Jenkins, curator of the British Museum exhibition “Defining Beauty: The Body in Ancient Greek Art”, attempted to explain this tradition. ‘The Greeks … didn’t walk down the High Street in Athens naked … But to the Greeks [nudity] was the mark of a hero. It was not about representing the literal world, but a world which was mythologised.’

We see evidence for this trend in Greek literature as well as sculpture: Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey, considered by some to be the earliest known works of Western literature, were likely written between the 8th and 7th centuries BC, but their setting is in Mycenaean Greece in the 12th century. The Greeks believed that this earlier Bronze Age was an epoch of heroism, wherein gods walked the earth alongside mortals and the human experience was generally more sublime. In setting the texts at this earlier stage in Greece’s history, Homer echoes the belief held within his contemporary society that mankind had been better before (what we might now call nostalgia, or, more colloquially, “The Good Old Days syndrome”). There is a real feeling of delight present in the distance Homer creates between his actual, flawed society, and the idealised past.

Indeed, it calls to mind a line I once read in an introduction to L.P. Hartley’s The Go-Between, by Douglas Brookes-Davies: ‘Memory idealises the past’. Though modernist texts such as The Go-Between problematise this, in antiquity it was not only commonplace but celebrated to look back to a more perfect existence and relive it through art. The very fact that Michelangelo abandoned his sculpture after years of work on account of a barely noticeable flaw in the marble is evidence that he, too, was striving towards the classical ideal of perfection. ‘Unfortunately,’ Hazel Stanier has commented, ‘this has resulted in unintentionally making Christ appear like a pagan god.’

This opens up another question – why does such a rift exist between the way ancient cultures envisaged their divinity and our own conceptions of a Christian God? Why are we not allowed to anthropomorphise the deus of the Bible in the same way that the Roman gods were?

Christ, of course, makes this somewhat confusing, given that he is described in the Bible as ‘the Word made flesh’, a physical and very human incarnation of the spiritual being that we call God. Theology tells us that he is fully human and fully divine, and yet the Church have excluded him from many aspects of life that a majority of us see as typifying a human being. Christ has no apparent sexual desires or romantic relationships, and though not exempt from suffering, he does not play any part in sin (which, as the saying goes, is ‘only human’). I think that the enormous controversy caused by films such as The Last Temptation of Christ (1988), which explore the possibility of Jesus having a sex life, is reflective of the possibility that - though in theory the Christian messiah is fully human - we feel significant discomfort at the notion that he may have explored particular aspects of the human experience.

Purists and the prude and liberals rush to opposite sides of the debate. If purists run one way to completely deny Christ had any sexual desires or even inclinations as all humans are want to do, liberals commit the sin of rushing to the other extreme end and presuppose that Jesus did act on sexual impulses simply because it was inevitable of his human nature.

I think the truth lies somewhere between but what that truth might actually be is simply speculation on my part. It doesn’t detract for me the life and saving mission of redemption that Jesus was on - to suffer and die for our sins as well as the Godhead reconciling itself to sacrificing the Son for Man’s sins and just punishment.  

Of course, it is well-known that the classical gods had no qualms about sexual activity. It is difficult to make retrospective judgements about citizens’ opinions on this but, as it was the norm, we might assume that they felt it was rather a non-issue. I can empathise with some critics who reason that the Christian God is not entitled to sexual expression is because of the traditional Christian idea that sex is inherently sinful – that original sin is passed on seminally and so by having sex we continue to spread darkness and provoke further transgression. It is from this early idea that theological issues such as the need for Mary to have been immaculately conceived (she was not created out of a sexual union, much like her son) have stemmed. But here - the immaculate conception - the critics are profoundly wrong in their theological understanding of why God had to enter the world as Immanuel in this miraculous way.

Some Christian critics - and I would agree with them - assert that the vision of a naked Christ might make a powerful theological point in a world where sex still carries these connotations. They rightly point out that clothing - and I might extend this to mean the covering-up of the sexual parts of our body - was only adopted by humankind after the Fall, the nudity of Christ is making a statement about his unfallen nature as the second Adam. In other words, Christ has no shame, because he is sinless and has no need for shame. Perhaps what Michelangelo intended was actually to disentangle nudity from its sexual, sinful associations, instead presenting us with a pre-lapsarian image of purity taking the form of the classical Bronze Age hero.

There is another, less theological explanation for the sculptor’s obvious use of the classical form. It reminds us of a time when gods walked the earth alongside us, when they were fully human – us, only immortal. Maybe he wanted to emphasise that fully human aspect of Christ’s being. Questionable as much of their behaviour was, the classical gods were certainly easy to identify with. For Michelangelo, this may have been his own way of embodying John 1:14 in marble: ‘The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us’.

It is here critics may have gotten hold of the wrong end of the stick with The Risen Christ when they point out the odd proportions of the figure: that it has a weighty torso, or the broad hips atop a pair of tapered and rather spindly legs, or even a side or rear view of the figure that show Christ’s buttocks.

For a start, this ungainly rear view was not supposed to be seen. The statue was meant to go in a wall niche, so that the back of the statue was hidden. Michelangelo of course knew this, and shaped the statue so that it would appear well proportioned from the front. If we view the sculpture from the front left, perhaps its best side, then Christ is no longer a thickset figure. Rather, his body merges with the cross in a graceful and harmonious composition.

The turn of Christ’s body and his averted face suggest something like the shunning of physical contact that is central to another post-Resurrection subject, the Noli me tangere (“Touch Me Not”). The turned head is a poignant way of making Christ seem inaccessible even as the reality of his living flesh is manifest.

We are encouraged to look at not Christ’s face, but the instruments of his Passion. Our attention is directed to the cross by the effortless cross-body gesture of the left arm and the entwining movement of the right leg. With his powerful but graceful hands, Christ cradles the cross, and the separated index fingers direct us first to the cross and then heavenward. Christ presents us with the symbols of his Passion – the tangible recollection of his earthly suffering. Behind Christ and barely visible between his legs we see the cloth in which Christ was wrapped when he was in the tomb. He has just shed the earthly shroud; it is in the midst of slipping to earth. In this suspended instant, Christ is completely and properly nude.

We must imagine how the figure must have appeared in its original setting, within the darkened confines of an elevated niche. Christ steps forth, as though from the tomb and the shadow of death. Foremost are the symbols of the Passion, which Christ will leave behind when he ascends to heaven.

Why was Michelangelo compelled to portray Christ completely naked in a way that was bound to trouble some Christians? It was not out of a desire to blaspheme. On the contrary, this genius – poet, architect and painter as well as the greatest sculptor who has ever lived – was not only a faithful Christian but someone who thought deeply about theology. You can bet he had good religious reasons to depict Christ in full nudity.

But it would be complacent to think there was no tension in showing Christ nude. The fact that The Risen Christ in Santa Maria still has its covering proves how real those tensions are. The fundamental reason Michelangelo could get away with it was that he was Michelangelo. By the time he created this statue, he had the Sistine Chapel ceiling (with all its male nudes) under his belt and was the most famous artist in the world.

For centuries, the faithful have kissed the advanced foot of Christ, for like Mary Magdalene and doubting Thomas, they wish for some sort of physical contact with the Risen Christ. To carve a life-size marble statue of a naked Christ certainly was audacious, but it is also theologically appropriate. Michelangelo’s contemporaries recognised, more easily than modern viewers, that the Risen Christ was a moving and profoundly beautiful sculpture that was true to the sacred story.

[dawggcs]

all american twilight rejects

pippa, member @ the red council:

usually chill but going through a rebellious phase (probably a mid life crisis but being immortal u know)

she’s turned by kamala centuries ago bc she was about to die after being beaten to near death yikes

very calm and peaceful, also very curious about everything

kinda snobbish so she likes keeping traditions and whatever

tends to coddle everyone in the clan and it 10/10 makes them sick but they all secretly love it (just bc i said so aight u can fite me on this)

she’s not too social outside her clan, doesn’t trust other vamps and prefers to stay quiet if they ever have any visitors

hayoung, member @ clan 3:

a youngster, she’s just recently come out of her immortality depression after seeing his late husband die probably lmfao

she’s one of those that got turned against her wishes and was bitter about it. she focused on watching over her family to avoid thinking about it and now has to deal with it, albeit slowly. she probably avoids the topic by watching her children now that her former husband died.

after her ‘awakening’ she didn’t try to get in contact with her human family. she saw them mourn her enough and kept a safe distance.

she’s a lil scaredy cat so she just follows whatever orders ppl give her lmao

tries to cling to her humanity somewhat, she’s one of the vamps that avoids feedings and stretches them out as much as she can.

she’s got a thing for crystal work so her house is probably filled with it :/

jaehwa, member @ clan 3:

he actually asked to be turned. his family has a history of it and he’s one of the oldest, most influential members in it.

used to be ruthless and messy during his first 200 yrs but then he collected himself lmao

he keeps tabs on his family line, constantly checking in on ppl. he turns a few people on his bloodline, though not many. junseo (he refers to her by that name only) included.

he’s also big on tradition but is trying real hard at updating himself with the times

he used to be a notorious leader in his family’s clan but decided to take a break. he’s now enjoying life as a member in a different clan instead of being the one in charge.

he still advises the newer leaders of his family clan, though. keeps scrutiny on who wanna turn there after he had to disposed of 60 or so members after a riot a decade ago.

atticus, member @ clan 3:

not that old. he was an experiment of sorts since a young vamp wanted to see if he could build an army and started turning ppl at random. atticus was among them.

however, this bitch just straight up turned his back and searched for other vamps that vibed with him more, didn’t care about being turned either.

as a human he was struggling to make ends meet and didn’t have a family of his own, instead staying with his parents. in a way, being turned felt like a huge weight was off his shoulders.

he’s really just trying to survive, has probably contemplated how he could die but doesn’t actively pursuing that. it’s an idea he toys with in case he ever gets tired of ‘living’.

aggressive, he just kinda likes fighting and is good at it. he’s a brute force kind of guy who has been learning about tactics and strategy now.

the thing he misses the most about being human is eating. he’s particularly wistful whenever he sees plums (unless these vamps can eat in which case i’ll take this off lmao).

yer a wizard

lester, member @ the pentacle:

comes from a respected fam of witches but he lowkey a mess. his family is well versed within dark magic and they keep high standards as to what a member ought to be like. in a way, he’s the shamed kid in his family tree.

honestly he’s terrible at incantations and spells, but is an a+ summoner. very few people know this, however, as he’s tried to keep it hushed as his own little vengeance against his family.

the neighbourhood guy tbfh, friendly and chatty with everyone he crosses paths with

he’s book smarts, if anyone ever needs to know about any spells, potions, ingredients, whatever --- they consult with him. the witchcraft walking encyclopedia for any questions or research. if he doesn’t know the answer himself, he always knows where to search for it.

he likes cats, has 2 and they’re his life.

ritual sacrifice though no one except his sisters know. he’s somewhere among the living and death, which is the reason he’s so good at summonings. 

lulu, member @ the pentacle:

older identical twin of lola, their parents have a thing with names with ‘l’ bc they supposedly bring good luck to the family.

she’s really embarrassed of lester all the time.

the twins share a close bond and are usually seen together, they’re talented and help upheld the fam reputation lmfao

lulu specializes in potions and projections.

she’s the kinder twin, more polite. she’s also the one who likes to think things through.

has a thing for anything with turtles in it and owns about 5 tortoises that all roam wild in the house.

though she doesn’t have anything against other species, she doesn’t go out of her way to mingle with them. in a way, she’s the one who keeps up with the family’s snobbish ways of considering witches a scale above the rest.

lola, member @ the pentacle:

younger identical twin of lulu.

she actually enjoys spending time with his brother. he kinda teaches her how to be more patient and less confrontational.

her speciality are curses lmfao and talismans

she’s a risk taker, gets in trouble all the time, though doesn’t typically face any repercussions bc she’s that good. it also helps that her sis and her bro help her out always asldjfadsf

she loves iguanas, has 3 and they all roam around with lulu’s tortoise lmfao

she loves milkshakes, 15/10 times you’ll see her stopping by to get one.

she loves, loves hanging out with other species. the more diversity, the more trouble there can be.

sasha, member @ the coven of the moon:

athena’s older sis. they’re the first two people to show signs of magic in their family after a looooong time. they’re kinda exploring and rolling with it.

the sisters decide to join different covens in their search for answers and guidance. they share information constantly.

she’s decent at any topic, doesn’t really stand out in any as she has a avarage control over them all. (will develop an affinity for light magic and healing in particular, aided by water).

she loves singing, probably does it all the time and people are sick of her bc of it

loves to have fun, will definitely jump at any given opportunity to spice things up

kinda mischievous, though she tries to keep in mind the rules so as not to cross them

puppies (liza, 2020)

amaia, member @ the boldclaw pack:

older sister to kiseon, she baby that kid always and it probably embarrasses him

she’s right hand and tends to be more patient than other ‘alphas’. if anything rub her the wrong way though, she gonna snap in no time

really, she just wants everyone to feel safe like that’s her main goal in life

used to be very weak and sickly as a child so when she matured ppl were surprised, esp when she started making her way onto the higher ranks in the pack

although pack life consumes most of her energy, amaia tries hard to figure how to keep up a life outside of it. she’s the one who encourages people to try out different things and paths.

arthur, member @ clan 6:

loves working out, spends a lot of time with his bro bc of it. they have a thing against shirts, aimee and i already established this for everyone’s benefit bYE

he’s actually very touchy, so he’s always finding ways to be in physical contact with people

he a lil dumb but it ok bc he has a good heart. u know what, i really want u all to think seth clearwater when u see this man lmfao

he likes betting, probs always plays for dumb things like who’s going to get yelled at first or whatever

he likes exploring on his own, probably spends a lot of time outside because of it. it sometimes gives his pack a headache, though he’s always there when they need him to.

zane, member @ clan 6:

appearances fooling ppl bc he out there looking like he gonna be in charge but really zane the biggest softie out there lmao

he’s the one trying to avoid conflict and looking at alternatives for solutions

shy and quiet, he just keep silent to let things unfold as they should

despite hating physical altercation, he still keeps up training so as to not be dead weight. he’s good at it and even teaches the younger members.

he’d 10/10 die for anyone he cared about, stupid loyal puppy

he used to keep away from anything related to his species. possibly avoided any type of relationship in that regard bc he really wanted to be normal. when he found out that there’s a whole world of species out there, he started working on coming to terms with. at times he still struggles and wishes he could live independently but he also knows that he likes being in a group.

chonglin, member @ the boldclaw pack:

unlike his meme-y name LMAO he’s very serious

he’s an action kinda guy, though. always the first to jump in, albeit a lil recklessly. ppl sometimes have to hold him by the neck or he’ll get into trouble lmao

he finds the notion of a werewolf adopting a dog fascinating but has not yet found The One for him. he’s not giving up and is still looking.

he likes clever people and is always reading up on some new topic for more fun conversations

he’s very open to species mingling and enjoys being friendly with others. he’s a lil bit more careful around humans, though around other supernaturals he’s v. chill and doesn’t hide his nature ja feel

[imtrynnawriteshit]

Kassandra x reader x Alkibiades

I have nothing to say for myself

@ the anon who requested this: you're now allowed (and in some countries even legally obligated) to punch me!!!

Also you're v good friends with Aspasia in this bc the beginning had been stuck in my head for ages lmao

Thank c:

Words: I edited this on Tumblr mobile and now I'm too lazy to check (I'll do it later though. Maybe)

Warnings: Two swear words, I think. And the usual: suggestive themes, terrible writing, too many commas, me projecting my thirst onto y'all (I'm sorry, pals :/)

Characters: Kassandra, Alkibiades, Reader, a whole lotta name throwing, Herodotos makes a friendly appearance :)

Relationships: Kassandra x reader, Alkibiades x reader, Kassandra x reader x Alkibiades

Request: Your Kassandra/Reader gave me an idea for a request so sorry if its dumb haha. Basically I was super happy you included Alkibiades because hes my FAV and I'd die for him. ANYWAY. Could you write one where the reader is at Perikles symposium, and has always had a thing for Alkibiades but was too shy to take him up on his offers, and always regretted it. But then she meets Kassandra and WHAM INSTANT CRUSH so she basically convinces the reader to... eh. Join in the fun? Heh.

Damn Aspasia and her need to arrive fashionably late. She’d promised she wouldn’t be too long this time, but you should’ve known better. And here you thought you'd done a good job convincing her.

You’d been standing around for ages, casually mingling with the guests and steering very, very clear of Sokrates, no matter how many times he tried to catch your eye. You’d have to drain the city of it's wine before you could even consider the thought of engaging him in conversation. At a party, no less. You were here to enjoy yourself, and that did not include a conversation about philosophy going nowhere.

You’d just left Euripedes and Aristophanes to tease Sophokles when you ran into an already extremely tipsy Alkibiades, who seemed thoroughly pleased to see you.

His hands immediately landed on your waist to steady himself, yours going to his shoulders to aid him. You held on to him softly (after all, he might end up stumbling again, and you were a good friend who looked out for others; or at least, that's what you told yourself), and you almost had to physically restrain yourself from running your hands through his hair. Your stomach fluttering, you prayed to every deity that you didn't end up making an absolute fool of yourself.

“I hoped I'd run into you tonight," he paused, leaning in closer, taking in your form hungrily. "And don't you look absolutely delicious."

By the gods. You tensed slightly, your hands beginning to tremble a little. Thankfully, he didn't notice, although his hands did drop to your hips.

"Join me, wouldn’t you? The night is still young, and there’s so much more we can do to make it more…interesting.”

At Aspasia's request, you'd worn the robes she'd gifted you a while back. They were flattering, very much so, and Alkibiades’ attention proved it.

Then again, he didn’t really need an excuse to proposition you.

“I-It’s nice to see you too, Alkibiades, but-“

“But you can’t, yes, so I’ve heard. Many times. Trust me (Y/N), one of these days, I’m going to see if you’re just as magnificent behind closed doors.”

You just shook your head, smiling bashfully as he turned to walk away, stumbling into a pillar. Heaving a sigh, you decided to at least try and have a proper conversation with him tonight, one that didn't involve you stumbling over your words. Baby steps, right?

You were in the middle of hyping yourself up when you noticed Herodotos standing alone by the entryway, watching the festivities. You were approaching him when he was suddenly joined by a woman, someone you didn’t know.

But by the gods did you want to.

Herodotos smiled and shook your hand when you were closer to the pair, accidentally interrupting their conversation.

“(Y/N)! It’s good to see you again."

“You too, Herodotos. I didn't mean to interrupt, I'm sorry."

He smiled, shaking his head. "You always were too polite for your own good. It's no problem at all."

Even as you addressed him, you glanced at the woman by his side. "It’s been a while. I haven’t seen you in Athens, lately.”

“I’ve taken to travelling the Greek world. This is Kassandra of Sparta”, noticing your gaze, he gestured to the woman beside him, who was watching you with an expression you couldn’t quite place, “a misthios, and the commander of the ship I'm sailing on. Kassandra, this is (Y/N) of, well, Athens."

"A pleasure to meet you, Kassandra."

"Believe me, (Y/N), the pleasure is all mine."

You could've melted right there. The sound of your name rolling off her tongue was now possibly one of your favourites. Your face must've given you away, because you swore you could see the beginnings of a smirk on her lips. That you now couldn't stop staring at. You were quickly snapped out of your daze by Herodotos excusing himself to find the host.

Kassandra was quick to continue the conversation.

"How do you know Perikles?"

Thankfully, you'd become accustomed enough to this question that you weren't too flustered, and your response was almost automatic.

"Oh, my brother is one of the proedroi, and doesn't usually attend parties, so I'm forced to come instead. Not that I'm complaining, of course, it’s how I’ve managed to become well acquainted with Perikles and Aspasia." You smiled softly at her, trying not to let your eyes drop below her face.

It didn’t work, but you also didn't regret it too much. Those arms were sinful, and you could only imagine what they could do-

You shook your head slightly, mortified at how you'd been so caught up in your daydream you'd taken to ogling her, and thought you caught a glimpse of amusement in her eyes.

Why, oh why did this only ever happen to you?

You needed to leave before you embarrassed yourself any further, but at the same time, you were reluctant to deprive yourself of her company. Which was ridiculous, considering you barely knew her.

As if you weren’t bad enough when it came to Alkibiades.

At the same time, the fact that she was from Sparta intrigued you. And you were nothing if not curious. Clearing your throat, you continued, "but I must say, I'm surprised to see a Spartan here. What brings you to Athens?”

At this, she seemed to consider you for a moment. Her gaze had become calculating, and you almost felt uncomfortable under her scrutiny. But you must've looked trustworthy to her.

Or just harmless enough to deal with in case she was wrong.

(You hoped it was the former.)

“I’m searching for a Spartan woman. My mother. Herodotos thought I might have been able to find some information here."

You frowned in thought. You weren't sure of how much information she'd find, but the least you could do was point her in the right direction. “Unfortunately, I won’t be of much help to you-"

"Now, that is unfortunate. I would have loved to repay you in any way I could." Was it just you, or were her eyes lidded?

You had a hard time trying to finish what you were saying when your treacherous mind was instead focused on the suggestive tone her voice had taken, but you managed.

"but, I think, um, Alkibiades might know something. Aspasia too, but she - she isn’t here yet.”

She let out a little chuckle. "So you were of help anyway. Thank you, (Y/N)."

She smiled then, and gently squeezed your shoulder. Your skin burned under her touch, and almost as if she knew that, she let her hand trail down your arm before pulling away to talk to the others, throwing you another inexplicable look over her shoulder.

You definitely needed more to drink.

-

You were stunned, to say the least, when she found you again in the kitchens. The pitcher of wine in your hands, a source of comfort only a moment ago, now felt heavy with...shame, was it? You couldn't tell. The rush in which you set it on the table behind you only made you it worse.

Kassandra, however, didn’t notice. Or maybe just didn’t care. She stepped closer to you, glancing around the tiny room as you involuntarily took a step back.

Your nerves must have made themselves known, because she only closed the distance between the two of you, her amusement plain on her features now.

“I don’t bite, you know.”

What on earth were you supposed to say to that?

“I-I didn’t-“

“Unless”, she continued, ignoring your, frankly, pathetic attempt at redeeming yourself, “you’d like me to.”

Fuck.

You let out a shaky laugh, hyper aware of everything around you: the table digging into your back, Kassandra only inches away from you, the tension in the air.

Gulping audibly, you cleared your throat.

“Are you - is there something I can help you with?”

“You know, I believe there is. Alkibiades asked me to find some oil for him. You seem to be well acquainted with the kitchen", her voice had a teasing lilt to it as she shot the pitcher a pointed look. You wished the gods would take pity on you and strike you where you stood. They didn't. "So I hoped you'd know.”

You did, and with a stuttered "of course", you turned to grab it. Handing it to her proved to be a little difficult, though, when she pulled you even closer (if that was possible), her hands on your waist. You were fairly certain your heart had stopped beating.

“You’re looking a little tense.”

“Oh, uh, I hadn’t noticed. I think it might be the wine-”

“Wine relaxes you, (Y/N), but it looks like it hasn’t worked at all. Here, come with me.”

And before you could protest, you were led away, one of her hands now on the small of your back. In the blink of an eye, you found yourself in front of a door, which opened to reveal Alkibiades.

A very naked Alkibiades.

You immediately averted your eyes, questioning every decision that led you to this point. Kassandra, on the other hand, seemed unaffected.

"Your oil."

Oh, you were still holding it. Still looking anywhere but at the two of them, you held it out for Alkibiades to take. And for the second time, you were left holding it as he reached for you instead.

Kassandra grinned. "You're a shy one, aren't you?

"I just...didn't expect -"

"There's a lot you wouldn't expect from me, but I always satisfy." Alkibiades' grip tightened around you. "What say we put this oil to good use and I prove it?"

You hesitated, but you knew that you wanted to. Especially with the way those two were looking at you.

"I certainly wouldn't be opposed to it." Kassandra said, wearing a salacious smile that was mirrored on Alkibiades and almost made your knees buckle.

"After all, what's a party without a little fun?"

Oh, what the hell.

"You're right." The gleeful surprise on their faces filled you with a sense of confidence. "A little fun never hurt anyone."

"Although, my fun is hardly little", Alkibiades said as they led you in. Only one coherent thought ran through your mind as the door closed behind you:

Fuck baby steps.

[abadoodlesss]

Sometimes The Job’s Worth It - Chapter Five

Read previous chapters here

Next Chapter

Summary: More like chapter 4.5 bc of the cliffhanger last time, sorry not sorry. Jane finally deals with the thoughts that have been haunting her mind.

Jane took advantage of the distraction provided by the Impala to punch the demon square in the jaw.

That sounded more badass than it was.

In reality, she flung her fist out, successfully hitting the demon but not very hard; it was enough to stun him for a second, though. Jane started sprinting towards the Impala as the headlights faded away and two car doors opened and slammed shut.

“You little bitch.” The demon muttered, teleporting in front of Jane after quickly recovering from her punch.

Jane screamed, in both surprise and fear, but she was quick to knee the demon between his legs. She wasn’t exactly sure if it would be effective, being an all-powerful demon and all, but low and behold, he toppled over.

“Amateur.” She heard the female demon groan before she too teleported in front of Jane, separating her from the Winchesters.

“Not so fast, sweet pea.” She said in a sickly sweet voice, her smile wide but her demon eyes glaring coldly.

“Duck!” Dean called, still several yards away. Jane dropped to her knees as she heard the demon wailing above her.  

Castiel appeared behind Jane’s crouched form, hand outstretched, fingers splayed as he rested his palm against the demon’s forehead. Jane glanced up in time to see the demon’s eyes and mouth glow a blinding white before he crumpled to the ground beside her.

Jane scrambled away from the demon, backing herself into Castiel’s legs. He helped her to her feet, eyes taking note of any cuts or scrapes on her body.

Sam and Dean soon joined the two, walking away from the limp body of the second demon as it’s shadowy form flew overhead.

“That was a close one.” Jane said, trying to lighten the mood as three stoic men towered above her, staring down at her with furrowed brows.

“What were you thinking?” Dean asked, his voice gruff.

Jane cast her gaze to the tips of her shoes. She was too embarrassed to make eye contact. She knew what she had done was stupid. Running out of the hotel room, late at night in a town she didn’t know; she would be more surprised if she wasn’t attacked by something, demons or not. She scolded herself for having her little temper tantrum, but she knew Dean was about to chastise her further, with good reason.

“That was reckless and stupid, not to mention dangerous.” He continued.

“I know.” Jane said as she rubbed her arm sheepishly.

“Had we been a few seconds later, who knows what would have happened.”

“We were worried about you.” Sam said, trying to balance out Dean’s aggressive tone.

“I’m sorry.” She said quietly, still hanging her head in shame.

“You should be. I don’t what I would have done with myself if you got hurt, kid.”

“You gotta give me a little credit, I totally had them for a few seconds.” She said, mentally kicking herself for cracking a joke while being reprimanded.

Sam let out a chuckle and Dean smirked, though. They couldn’t stay mad at her for long.

“We’re going to have to teach you how to really punch, that was pathetic.” Sam said, nodding his head back to the demon Jane ‘punched’.

“Let’s head back.” Dean said, the group heading to the car. Jane climbed into the back with Castiel. “Don’t think you’re off the hook though, kid.” Dean said, sliding into the front seat.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Jane was digging through the closet to try to find a blanket to wrap herself in. She was still shivering from being outside for so long without a jacket.

The boys, however, were huddled together, whispering about what to do. Dean was already over Jane’s impromptu adventure into the night, he could easily forgive and forget that, but whatever was going on with Jane earlier was a different story.

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea.” Sam said warily.

Dean wanted to at least entertain the idea that Cas could help rid Jane of her negative memories. After Cas explained what he learned about Jane while Sam and Dean were at the bar, albeit very briefly as he was afraid to reveal too much, Dean was more driven than ever to help Jane forget.

“What else do we have then?”

“We can let her cope.” Sam argued, very strong in his opinion.

“She shouldn’t have to do that alone, Sammy.”

“She isn’t. Erasing her memory isn’t the way to help, being there for her is.”

“I would have to agree with your brother, Dean. It’s not normal to just erase unpleasant memories.” Castiel added.

“When is anything we do normal?”

Sam just sighed.

“You guys alright over there?” Jane called, wrapped up snuggly in a blanket on Sam’s bed, chowing down on the rest of her Snicker’s bar.

“Let’s just talk to her.” Sam whispered.  

Dean grumbled but complied nonetheless. He hated when Sam was right.  

He walked over to her. “Hey, kiddo, can we talk for a second?”

Jane looked up at him, a string of caramel hanging out of her mouth. “Uh, yeah.” She said hesitantly, wiping her mouth as Dean took a seat on his bed, across from her. “Before you start though, let me just reiterate that I’m sorry for running out and almost getting myself killed.” She said. “Also sorry for slapping you.” She called to Castiel, who nodded in response. “Okay, now you can ground me but if we’re being real, that was pretty sweet of me to be so apologetic so I don’t think my punishment should be that harsh.” She defended.

“That’s not what this is about.” Sam said, coming to stand beside his brother.

“Oh?”

“I’m not going to push you,” Dean started, getting right to the point, “but you can talk to us about what’s going on.”

Jane wanted to roll her eyes, not this again. “Glad to know, but I don’t have anything to say right now.” She got up to end the conversation but Dean grabbed her arm, shoving her lightly back to the bed so they could keep talking.

“Cut the shit. You ran out of the bathroom crying today, something’s bothering you and we just want to help you. I promise there’s no judgment kid.” Dean said in an aggressively caring way.

Jane looked down, fidgeting with her hands in her lap. She was silent. She didn’t want to talk about it because they were lying. They would judge her.

Sam sat down on the bed, picking at the scratchy blanket. “Whatever you’re going through, I can promise you, we understand.”

Jane remained silent as she clutched her body.

“If it’s about your family-” Dean started but trailed off, unsure of how to continue. “We know what it’s like to lose people you care about.” He said.

Jane stared up at him, her eyes getting watery.

“We know how hard it is. We know how hopeless and lost you feel. But I promise you we can help.”

“It’s more than that.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked, leaning forward a bit more, intrigued.

“You’re not wrong.” Jane clarified after a moment, contemplating if she wanted to come clean now. “I miss my family with all my heart. I would do anything to get them back but I know I don’t deserve that.”

Dean and Sam just looked at her, unsure if they were hearing her correctly.

“I let them get killed, I didn’t do- I did nothing and now-” Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks. She wept into her hands, trying to hold herself together but it wasn’t working, she kept sobbing.

Dean kneeled on the floor in front of Jane. He gently took hold of her hands, drawing them away from her face. He gave a kiss to her knuckles as he held her delicate hands in his tanned ones.

He stared into her big eyes with his matching green ones. It hurt to see her cry. He cared so much for Jane and he would do anything to take this pain away.

Letting go of her slender hands, Dean cupped her cheek lightly, wiping tears away with his thumbs.

“It is not your fault.” He spoke sternly.

“But-” Jane blubbered, half choking on a sob threatening to rip out of her throat.

Dean still held her face, forcing her to look into his eyes. “It is not your fault.”

She sobbed again, melting to Dean’s body. He held the back of her head as she wept into his shoulder, gently rocking her back and forth like she were a baby he was trying to lull to sleep.

When her breathing became less sporadic and she was calming down, Dean pulled away. “We want to help you. Cas here can take away those memories, you won’t have to think about it anymore.”

Jane took in a shaky breath before speaking. “Mia, she- she won’t let me forget.”

The men in the room glanced at each other, Cas slightly more confused with his lack of context, but even he knew this was something of concern.

“Jane, Mia’s dead.” Sam spoke.

“No, no, I know that. I’m not crazy. Well, not all the way, it’s just-” She took in another breath, calming herself. “Mia’s been following me around. Every time I see her it’s a reminder of what happened.”

“Mia is dead, sweetheart, she isn’t following you.” Dean said, getting worried.

“I know, but she is. At first, I thought it was really her but-” She trailed off, not wanting to really say it, if she didn’t it felt less real.

“But what?” Sam pressed.

“But now I think I’m imagining her.” She whispered, unable to look at anything other than a now particularly interesting loose string on her shirt.

“How long has this been happening?” Sam asked, getting more concerned.

“Well at first it was just a dream, then little glimpses of her when I was alone. I thought my brain was just playing tricks but then I swear I heard her speaking to me.” Jane confessed. “That’s why I left the CVS bathroom crying, I talked to her and she said she was all in my head.”

Everyone was silent for a moment. With each second that passed, Jane’s heartbeat grew louder and faster. This was exactly what she feared. She watched as Dean looked to Sam, communicating silently.

She grabbed onto Dean’s arm. “I swear I’m not crazy, please Dean you have to believe me.”

“You’re not being crazy. This is your own mind projecting your guilt. You feel like you don’t deserve to forget so your mind isn’t letting you, in the form of Mia giving you constant reminders.” Castiel deduced, coming around to stand beside Sam.  

“Sounds crazy to me.” Jane said with a weak laugh.

“Why didn’t you tell us earlier?” Dean asked. “This could have been a real threat to your safety, Jane.”

“I was just afraid. I thought that you’d think I was crazy. Or maybe you’d think that there was a demon tracking us and that you’d be better off ditching me. I thought you’d think I wasn’t worth all the trouble and just leave me. I didn’t want to lose you guys.” She said a million miles a minute, having no filter with her thoughts.

Sam came over to her, kneeling to meet her height as he placed a firm hand on her shoulder. “We would never leave you.” He spoke firmly. “You’re family now.”

A smile instantly lit up Jane’s, unable to tell if the tears pricking her eyes were happy or sad at this point. God, she was so emotional. “Thanks, Sammy.”

Sam was a little shocked that she used that name, only Dean called him Sammy. He hated when anyone else did, well that’s to say he usually did. Hearing Jane use that name felt right. It didn’t annoy him, didn’t make him angry, but rather it made him feel warm in his chest.

He gave her a smile and ruffled up her hair a little before getting back up.

“Cas, can we still help her with this?” Dean asked.

“Angels have the power to alter entire realities, I am capable of this.” Castiel spoke, in his ever monotone voice but hints of sass were laced in there.

“It’s up to you kid, but Cas can help. He can take away these memories, he can take away Mia.” Dean said.

Jane thought for a moment. It would make everything so much easier. Forgetting all about her family and just believing that she was always a Winchester, it was the perfect solution, yet it felt wrong.

The whole point of problems is that they’re difficult, but when you’ve moved past them, you've come out stronger. Jane wanted to be stronger, she didn’t want the easy way out, no matter how tempting it was.

“No, this isn’t something I should forget. I have to learn to cope and to move on, like everybody else.” She said soundly. She saw Sam’s lips curl into a smile as he looked at her, giving a small nod. He must have felt the same way. Jane felt a twinge of warmth in her heart, knowing Sam was proud of her.

“Are you sure.” Dean said. “It’s okay Jane, you deserve to be happy.”

“I am.” She said. “Because I have the two best brothers in the world, who care so much about me. That’s all I need.”

“Stop being such a chick.” Dean joked, wrapping an arm around Jane’s shoulders as he pulled her into a side hug. Sam joined in too.

“I could do without the whole Mia thing, though.” Jane said, pulling away.

“Certainly.” Castiel said, taking a hand to her forehead. There was a glow, but Jane felt no different. She supposed time would only tell if it worked.

“Thank you.”

“Of course. Now, if I’m no longer needed.” and suddenly Castiel was gone.

“He’s strange.” Jane said. “I like him.”

The brothers just laughed.

“It’s about time for bed.” Dean said, noticing it was almost midnight.

“Dean, c’mon, you’re supposed to be cool. What’s with the bedtime?”

“We got a long day of driving to do, you need rest.”

“I can just sleep in the car tomorrow.”

“Stop finding loopholes and go brush your teeth.”

Muttering under her breath, Jane went to the bathroom and grabbed her toothbrush. She surveyed the room silently, waiting for Mia’s form to appear, but it never came.

Nice work, Castiel. She thought with a smile.

Spitting into the sink, Jane wiped off her mouth. She took the time to braid her hair before heading off to bed.

Luckily they managed to get two queen beds. Sam took one for himself, but at least this way Jane could spread out on her side of the bed she shared with Dean.

She climbed under the covers, switching off the lamp on the bedside table next to her face.

“Goodnight, bug.” Dean said with a yawn.

She broke out into a smile that one else saw. “Goodnight.”

[alo-piss-trancy]

Okay I found one of the super/girl drafts on my laptop and was relieved for a minute and prepared to start writing, only to find that all I had saved was the prompt itself c':

I don't have the energy to try and recreate what I had rn (it was at almost 1000 words so far and about Cat and had great sassy lines I am dying) so instead take these ideas for Winn and Kara omo bc their bff relationship gives me life and no one talks about it even in general much less in omo and also I really want Winn to soak himself bc he's cute and I'd kiss him<p>

1. Consider the day when Kara first started working at Cat/Co. Ah yes, the cute new assistant who sits right next to Winn and they have a nice enough time chatting with each other while he gives her a general idea of how things work around the office. They have a few more conversations between projects throughout the day, and towards the last hour or so of the day Winn realizes that Kara hasn't left her desk for anything ALL DAY except to bring Cat lunch and some papers (and maybe you could have guessed that she'd gone then, except he'd admittedly been unable to take his eyes off of her whenever she walked by, so he knew she hadn't gone near that direction), and he naturally gets a little concerned that she's probably dying by this point and oh crap maybe no one told her where they were and she's just been too nervous to ask? He's super embarrassed to even bring it up but finally manages to blurt out a casual (aka not casual at all but awkward af) "Hey, uh, you know the bathrooms are just down that hall, right? Like, in case no one told you...". Kara, of course, with her superhuman bladder of steel, hasn't even felt much of an urge yet, and just casually nods with a "Yeah, I know, thanks." before she goes back to her work. Winn probably looked her over just to make sure she wasn't just faking casual because he knew some people were shy enough to deny it even if they were about to burst, but she honestly looks just as unbothered as she sounded, so he drops it and wonders how on earth this girl is fine when he's had to take at least 3 breaks today.<p>

Throughout the rest of the week Kara continues to last the entire workday from morning 'till night without bathroom breaks, and Winn is probably impressed but it also makes him kind of self-conscious to be the only one getting up and drawing attention to himself multiple times or interrupting their conversations. So the next Monday he decides to try and start holding back and hopefully match Kara's unholy endurance, because if someone as normal as her can do it then maybe it isn't actually that hard and he's just kind of weak (he's already the office nerd, it probably isn't much of a stretch now that he thinks about it). He makes it through the first few hours and his first break okay (well, not okay, but he can keep still), but about an hour after lunch he's starting to really feel it, pressing his legs together or crossing them at the ankles or scooting his chair around as a distraction. Kara probably gets a little concerned by the soft moans under his breath that her superhearing picks up and asks if he's sick or something, but he manages to brush off her worries and insists he's fine. It works, but only a half hour after that he's absolutely DYING and he can't sit still and nothing is comfortable and he decides to cave and get up because he really can't do this except the second he tries to stand he feels a leak into his boxers and sits right back into his chair with a strained squeal. And by this point Kara is definitely worried because poor Winn is all sweaty and blushing and she definitely heard that leak and figured out what was going on, so she casually scoots her chair over to try and talk to him without drawing everyone else's attention, and he finally admits that he's never had to pee this badly in his l i f e but he really doesn't think he can stand much less move and oh gosh every breath is slicing into his bladder and he has to stop whispering to her so he can grab himself and hunch over with a nervous little moan bc holy shit he can feel it running right up to the edge of his dick and he doesn't know what to do and what if Cat comes over how on earth is he going to explain this and he's just rocking in the edge of his seat trying to hold on and shaking like a leaf. Kara really has no clue what to do either because she can't exactly justify using superspeed to rush him to the bathroom bc there's no way to explain suddenly teleporting there or even just scooping him up bc you don't just do that to your coworkers, and helping walk him there isn't even an option since he can't stand.<p>

There are two ways this could play out.<p>

Either A. she tells him to try and hold it in for just a few minutes while walks out as casually as possible before whooshing around the different floors looking for something useable, and if they're lucky she comes back and manages to sneak whatever the object is (like a large soda cup or a personal trash can or smth) under his desk and Kara finds some loud distracting way to keep everyone in the room from hearing (maybe she sets off an alarm in another part of the building or just 'accidentally' bumps someone else's computer to play music really loudly while they struggle to shut it off) while Winn gushes into the makeshift toilet with the force of a firetruck's pressure hose.<p>

Or B. Kara really can't think of anything to do to help and before she can think much further Winn starts leaking harder and gasping and groaning and he's trying to keep quiet but it's hard when the feelings are so strong and painful and he loses complete control a second later in the chair, warm piss completely flooding his pants and running down his legs into his shoes and it's pooling in the seat and drenching the carpet and it's hissing loudly enough to draw attention and it's honestly all Winn can do to keep from crying bc it hurts but it's also SO relieving and also completely mortifying he's going to be the laughing stock of the office and once it's over Cat pipes up from where she'd arrived in time to witness the last of the event and makes some kind of snarky remark comparing him to a toddler before snapping at him to go get cleaned up, change at home if he needs to, and then come back to work bc he's still got half a day left and she isn't paying him to hide under a rock in shame. Once Winn slinks out and people go back to work Cat's probably about to call the janitor but Kara insists she'll clean it up bc she doesn't want more people to find out about it ('Kara you should know I'm not paying you overtime for doing someone else's job') and Cat relents bc as long as that mess gets cleaned up before the germs multiply she really doesn't care who does it. Kara probably uses a smidge of secret superbreath to make sure his spot is as dry as can possibly be when he gets back and she probably got him some kind of sweet treat to brighten him up a bit.<p>

No matter which ending happens Winn is absolutely beyond mortified bc he just almost/actually pissed himself in front of Kara and everyone else and he probably looked completely pathetic and gross and she's never going to want to talk to him again jfc. Of course then Kara is nothing but sweet and understanding and tries her very best to help take his mind off of it and get things back to normal and makes him feel a lot better about the whole incident. She also takes the hint after that and starts taking more frequent bathroom breaks at work even though she doesn't really need them, just so he's more comfortable about it.<p>

Okay this was intended to be a whole list of cute scenarios but look at my wordy ass getting WAY out of hand with number 1 jfc I guess I'll save the rest for more posts lmao at least you get this one for now I'll do the rest later