#but that constellation of green and red overlayed on nothingness

[honeyandspring]

On heartbreak

There is an entire universe between us but you still find ways to creep into my hemisphere. We’ve been playing the silent game since the end of the war but you still find ways to tell me how I should feel. - For a third of my life, your presence was as big as the sun, but your absence is now the moon. Pure, beautiful, lifeless, impossible. Occasionally when the time rolls around, you come as close to earth as possible, so much so that you take up all the space in my eyes, so much so that I forget that it’s an illusion, that you are elusive, and that your light is cold. Maybe I’m too used to revolving around you that now I am lost outside orbit. -

For the first time in awhile, I was at complete peace. My favourite kind of summer breeze was in the air, I was close to sleep, laying there on the green. Tiny stars glowed, all aligned. Constellations aren’t actually connected by lines in the sky,  just by the humans who study them. But that day, strangely, I could see tiny threads of gossamer sewing each star to the other. They call it pineal overlay, or “theatre-of-consciousness” - our mind fills in what we expect, what we want to see. A sane hallucination, lucid dreaming. - perhaps, in all my desire to move on, I filled in the blanks you left and formed a sentence of peace. perhaps, in all my need to feel nothing, I boarded up the void you opened and created a life without you. - Grass is supposed to be soft but the tips are sharp and through my thin linen dress, they speared my skin. -

Binary stars. They are stars that revolve around each other, existing for each other. But when one of them runs out of hydrogen before the other, they turn into a red giant star,  a fuzzy mass, loosely held together by its own gravity. The other star then, only if it is close enough, slowly pulls at the layers of  the red giant, until the red giant is exhausted and diffuses into nothingness. - I’m still trying to swim out from your pull.