#this shit is in different areas like. this is so complex
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jesse i need to start conlanging again
#processing#god i love making languages i wish my possible ocd didn't make me insane abt them. it's good for me. esp bc it means i get to look at#different ways writing systems grammatical systems syntax morphology etc are influenced by rhe world around u...#like indonesian being one of the world's most like. brusque i guess? languages bc it was used as a lingua franca across a bigass area#whereas french and english for example were utilized by royal elite (originally) so their 'standard' forms are super complex and have a lot#of grammar shit that's on paper that u don't hear aloud...#different ways languages utilize prepositions... irish's near-constant passive tense...#proverbs... the fact that you can't speak mandarin or mbuntu fluently unless u know tons of em..:#[snaps awake] who said all that. i have homework i can't just think abt linguistics#even though what started me on this was me thinking abt comanche joining PSL as a lingua franca of trade in the southern plains...#so cool... notably a comanche woman quoted in my textbook (niyah tahsuda i think??? the author kinda sucks at quoting people)#said that one of the starkest differences between shoshone and comanche dialects/languages differed in SPEED OF SPEECH#what causes that?! phonetic drift????#OKAY FUCK HOMEWORK TIME!!!! I WILL RESEARCH THE SHOSHONE/COMANCHE LIMGUISTIC DIFFERENCES LATER!!!!!!!!
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oh to love a subject in theory but to fucking despise it in school
#this is about math#i actually really looked forward to taking calc#but then i did and it hurt my gpa#math is like a toxic ex to me#and calc still blows my mind a lot even though im still in ab and im probably taking stats next year in the way that its so elegant#like how do you manage to take the single idea of the area of a fucking rectangle and do so much with it right#how does that small idea grow that far and become that complex#but school is hard#and i am like the no.1 academic victim#and the asian isnt asianing so its actually pain#it isnt even the class its just my own stupidity#every time im in said class#dude the weird math videos i get with visualizations and shit is like an entirely different thing then those Goddamn Fucking FRQs#school#queued for funsies
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I think people need to understand that when someone says the situation in Israel/Palestine is complicated they are not necessarily saying that the discussion of who the oppressor vs oppressed is complicated. The Israeli government has been oppressing the Palestinians for a very long time, that is clear, and it is not complicated to understand that at least since the 80s they have had dramatically more financial and military power to keep control of the territory in the way they like.
However, it is reductive and dismissive to insist that there is no complexity in the potential ways to move forward to bring peace to the region. Despite what people on tumblr.edu like to believe, "Israel should never have been created" is not a practical solution to an incredibly heated geopolitical situation in the present day. Israel was created and it does exist. 10 million people live there. 74% of the population is native born and the country has existed for 75 years. Hand waving these fact away with the opinion that "they should move back to where they came from" may make you feel good about being a Radical Leftist, but it does not give anyone a road map for how exactly millions of people without dual citizenship are supposed to just up and evaporate. Nor does it acknowledge the reality that 21% of Israelis are Arabs, the very people you are claiming to want to give the land back to.
Insisting that there's nothing complicated about expecting an entire country's population to willingly dissappear with no consequences is not a productive way to think about this conflict. It ignores the many massive superpowers that have an interest in proping up different states in the region, the power dynamics involved in any land back movements, and the inevitably negative consequences of totally dissolving an established state without a plan. It is also completely and almost comically unrealistic, so much so that it makes it hard to believe that anyone who's opinion starts and ends with this idea really gives a shit about anyone who lives in the area as much as they care about their online leftist clout.
There's nothing complicated in understanding that the Israeli government is and has been maintaining an oppressive apartheid state for decades. It is, however, very complicated to come up with a realistic way to resolve some of the most intricately entangled land disputes on the planet without plunging the region into total chaos. Not everyone has to be deeply educated on every geopolitical situation, but it is very hard to take people seriously when they know nothing about the politics or history of a region and yet insist that there is nothing complicated about it at all.
There's a lot of people on this website who are getting dangerously smug about their own ignorance, and are starting to go down Qanon type anti-intellectual paths in the name of being sufficiently radical. Not knowing the details of a very convoluted land dispute isn't something to brag about online as you call for intentionally reductive solutions. You can support the Palestinian cause and be aware of the oppression they have faced while also holding off on calling people trying to do real analysis and de-escalation work bootlickers. We need to get control of the urge to fit every global issue into a simplistic YA novel narrative structure that appeals to Western revolutionary fantasies.
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"EUROPEANS ATE GROUND-UP EGYPTIAN MUMMIES!!!! ALL THE TIME!!!"
sounds much more dramatic than
"Europeans sometimes consumed ground-up Egyptian mummies, or fluid found inside the chest cavities of mummies, or a type of tree resin that became associated with mummies because it kind of looked like the bitumen used in the embalming process, or the dried and ground flesh of very specific European dead- most likely a bit of all of the above at various times in various places. but it's hard to say what the proportion of each was- and at least one early Middle Eastern physician, Abd al-Latif al-Baghdadi from modern-day Iran, also advised the use of the Body Cavity Liquid variety hundreds of years before the first documented use of mummy by Europeans. so it was a medicinal thing in the areas from whence the mummies came, too. unsurprising seeing as a lot of cultures- including Europeans -have done Corpse Medicine with their own people for centuries. there was also been pushback against the medicinal use of mummies in Europe since at least the 16th century; it remains unclear how popular the notion was at any given time. so the answer to Is This A Good Symbol For The Effects of European Colonialism In Egypt remains a resounding 'ehhh...?'"
"because the whole idea is, is it not, that Europeans were literally consuming the dead bodies of a non-European people who would have had no reason to sell their dead without a European market. and that's kind of true! there was a market that created a demand! but they were also already putting the bodies to these uses closer to home before Europeans started, because this whole thing began with both Arab and European doctors misinterpreting other Arab doctors who were talking about the medicinal qualities of tree resin. so really it's not as simple a situation as we might like to believe."
"and Mummy Brown paint is like this whole other situation where it was supposed to be made from ground-up mummies but often wasn't because Cost-Cutting, and a lot of artists didn't really like it anyway, and others used it thinking the name only referred to the color, and one time Edward Burne-Jones attempted an Egyptian funeral for a tube of Mummy Brown paint because he was so horrified with the origins, so while that's a more straightforward as an Oh Shit Violent Colonialism situation, people merrily waltzing into shops and buying one tube of Dead Egyptian Person, please, my good man! wasn't quite as widespread as one might now think"
"for me, the more compelling image of Europe Fucking Egypt Over is that of a white archaeologist peering curiously into a pit where Egyptian people are working tirelessly to excavate a tomb, their names to be lost to history in favor of whatever rich white person they toiled for. even that image is not without complicating factors- I, imagining it, am a white woman who cannot ask those Egyptian men what they think and feel about all their role in all this -but to me it seems more reliable than the VERY complex and often misinterpreted history of the mummy trade, even as I understand it after like an hour of research"
"on the OTHER HAND, does it even matter if people in the Middle East were already doing mummy medicine, when Europeans increased demand? does it even matter if Europeans felt bad or at least grossed out about Mummy Brown paint or if it wasn't ~always~ real mummies? maybe it doesn't! maybe my instincts as a history worker to say It's More Complicated are clouding my judgment on the nature of colonialism! or maybe they aren't! or maybe different people will think I'm right or think I'm full of shit and that's just the nature of doing public history on The Tungles!"
"anyway I have COVID and should probably go to bed now"
"this article and the Wiki page for Mummia are very well-sourced"
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A few years ago I used to be that annoying "transmasc lesbians don't exist, this shit is harmful and invalidates both transmascs and lesbians" person, and now I'M the transmasc lesbian. Seems like the tables have turned, huh?
I've spent so many months, years, trying so hard to fit into these categories that I saw so many people talk about as if it were the definitive truth, and this shallow and simplistic vision seems to be gaining a lot of attention and traction here in Brazil. Isn't it ironic to free yourself from cisnormativity and heteronormativity and all these binary boxes to find yourself again trying to fit into other boxes and norms that don't actually describe your experience correctly? Because your experience with gender is so chaotic and confusing (as expected of a nonbinary identity, and even more so if you're neurodivergent too) that there's no simple way to describe it. Then when you find out what describes this, people say you can't identify yourself that way because two or more of your identities are "incompatible". I see people treating non-binarity as if it were an exact science, as if it were math, as if it were something simple and logical, as it is precisely the escape from what has been established in our society as the only two possible options, generating countless identities within a gray area outside this black and white vision, so of course it's something complex, abstract and subjective.
EDIT: One of my reasons for thinking this way was that I ignored that the transgender experience and the cisgender experience aren't and will never be equivalent. It's obvious that a cis man can't be a lesbian, but the same doesn't go for transmasc people, and I thought that admitting that was the same as being transphobic, denying the masculinity of transmascs, denying their male identity. I already had a debate on Twitter because people didn't want to admit that trans men and transmasc people in general can suffer misogyny and male chauvinism (as society can still see and treat us as women) because they also saw it as the same as saying transmasc people are women. The identity of trans people is a very complex experience that involves a series of factors that cis people will never experience. We cannot equate the trans experience with the cis experience.
I thought identifying as a butch lesbian was enough to describe my masculinity, but I realized that I felt like it didn't encompass everything I felt, I still felt like something was missing. Preventing and depriving myself of identifying with more explicit masculine identities was actually making me feel bad and dysphoric. So yeah, I've been avoiding identifying with male-aligned identities because I thought that would mean having to stop identifying as a lesbian, and I didn't want that, and I don't really feel like calling myself straight makes any sense.
I have a text in Portuguese talking about my experience as a butch lesbian, and I feel that now it also serves to describe my experience as a nonbinary transmasc (the part where I talk about not identifying with "traditional masculinity", but with a "different type", like "soft masculinity", is directly related to the fact that, in addition to being nonbinary, I don't identify as a man, I don't feel comfortable with the term "man", but rather with "boy"). I spent a few months wondering whether I was libramasculine or boyflux, and I ended up deciding that if I can't identify which one I am, maybe it makes more sense to just adopt both identities, maybe I am both then! I'm tired of trying to fit into supposed rules about being nonbinary. This is exactly how non-binarity shouldn't be. I'm supposed to feel free, not trapped again. My identity is my identity and that's nobody's business.
#lesbian#transmasc#butch#butch positivity#butch lesbian#sexuality#gender#gender identity#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lesbianity#trans#nb#enby#gender noncomformity#gender nonconforming#desfem#non binary#nonbinary#masculinity#gnc#transgender#libramasculine#boyflux#nonbinary boy#nonbinary butch#enboy
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Stalker Xavier (Except he's a soft boy at the end of the day)
This isn't how I portray Xavier in the slightest, but if I'm doing a yandere series I gotta commit to the bit. So here's a soft yandere stalker Xavier, which is how I would personally write him at a stalker.
Stalker Xavier who has always been so hopelessly in love with you that you're the only thing that's ever been on his mind for the past couple hundreds of years, and when he sees you in this timeline, he nearly short circuits.
Stalker Xavier who decided that even if you don't fall for him, he's not going to let you out of his sight. Not now. Not ever. He's was going to be your guardian until it killed him because he can't live another lifetime without seeing your face every day.
Stalker Xavier who discovered you wanted to be a Deepspace Hunter, so took the job himself while you were still in the academy.
Stalker Xavier who is the one to put in the recommendation for you to join Unicorns so you'd be working alongside him, because that way it would be easier to keep an eye on you.
Stalker Xavier who's the one who sent you an email about the apartment complex. He had gotten the people who lived right underneath him to move out shortly before you were going to move in, so he could ensure you'd be right underneath him.
Stalker Xavier who is surprised when you appear before him in the No Hunt Zone, but also isn't because he was the one who had suggested the new recruits look into the area.
Stalker Xavier who manipulates things and chases everyone off who wants to be your potential partner so he's the only one left to take the role. He decided nobody else is capable of properly protecting you, not with what he knows, and he'd be damned if you got injured because you got assigned a different partner when he's right there.
Stalker Xavier who goes out of his way to try every lottery thing for prizes. He knows he's lucky, and he wins things all the time and then gives them to you because "I don't like random people touching me, so I don't do massages."
Stalker Xavier who is always conveniently there when you need him. He sometimes gets bad feelings in the pit of his stomach and seeks you out. The incident where he was asleep on the train was no accident. He had been following you, knew you'd only have that one train to get on, and teleported to the stop before so he'd already be there when you got on.
Stalker Xavier who is absolute dog shit when it comes to lying to you, but is amazing at avoiding questions. He knows so much about you that when you're questioning him, he's easily able to deflect your questions by bringing up something you had recently done, or a topic you enjoy.
Stalker Xavier who will gaslight the fuck out of you when you get suspicious that he knows too much about you. He sucks at lying, but it doesn't mean he can't come up with 50 excuses that make you feel like you're overreacting. He doesn't enjoy it, but if you knew the truth you'd be appalled, and he can't have that.
Stalker Xavier who is always listening when he's home. He's listening to you when you come home, shower, getting ready for bed. He'll listen in on your conversations and has fallen asleep on the floor of his apartment before listening to you speaking with Tara in the past.
Stalker Xavier who will teleport into your home all the time. "I'm sorry, sometimes teleportation can be finicky, and your apartment is right below mine." you can't exactly dispute it since you don't know how to teleport and therefore don't know how it works. He's done it to you many times, right after a shower, as you're laying in bed. He always says since he's already there, you two might as well spend time together.
Stalker Xavier who doesn't generally fuss when he's injured, but after realizing how you are when he has an injury, begins letting you know. He enjoys having you over and getting your undivided attention. He'll even purposefully get injured just to have your hands on him, wrapping up wounds on his chest.
Stalker Xavier who takes note of when you're supposed to be home, and whenever he doesn't hear you will go out and find you. He has your location on his phone and will watch you. If he sees you with another male he'll purposefully do things to end the interaction and get you home.
Stalker Xavier who always looks over your missions. If you're going to be out of town, then suddenly he's been assigned on the same mission.
Stalker Xavier that will purposefully find hotels that only have one room for you to stay in. He'll even call and make reservations only at places he knows gets booked up, for the sole purpose of making sure you have to share the same lodgings at night.
Stalker Xavier who hates going to work events, but goes to them and offers to pay for all your drinks. He wants you drunk so you need to lean on him for support. Of course he's your partner and neighbor, so he'll make sure you get home safe. And he can't leave you alone when you're drunk so he's taking care of you and falling asleep on the floor next to your bed. In the morning he also can't leave you because "You're hung over, which is the same as being sick. Stay in bed, let me take care of you for a little while longer.
Stalker Xavier who will sometimes go to your home and put snacks in your fridge and other things for meal making. When you get home and notice it, you're already messaging him, asking if he stopped by earlier. "You don't remember getting those yesterday? Have you been sleeping well? Well, since you already have those ingredients in the fridge, how about I come over and we can make dinner together?"
Stalker Xavier who steals things from your apartment all the time. When you come over and discover them, you ask if he took them, "Those items? I know they're yours. You don't remember bringing them over? Sorry, I must've forgotten to return them."
Stalker Xavier who is surprised when you confess to him. He didn't think he'd ever get to call you his lover, but now that you were here...well he was going to make sure nobody else could have you.
Stalker Xavier who makes it known to everyone that you two are dating at work. He'll always find ways to touch you, having his hand somewhere on your body and gives you kisses all the time. If he sees you speaking to someone he doesn't like, he'll come over and kiss your cheek and ask what you want for dinner.
Stalker Xavier who is suggesting after two weeks of dating to just move in together. "We're already always with one another, and it would help save on money. Or perhaps we could move to a bigger place?" he's so convincing and sweet it's hard to say no.
Stalker Xavier who has managed to convince you fully that his possessiveness is just him being a doting boyfriend. He's far too sweet to be a stalker, or have any of those tendencies. He's also super lucky so of course he's always there at the right time for you, he totally wasn't following you around town.
I genuinely don't see canon Xavier being possessive of MC. I see him being protective with all things considering (because he knows far too much). Hell I could make an entire post that justifies most of his "possessive" actions because in my opinion, they all have reasons. These qualities I wrote are just to fit in more with the Stalker/Yandere theme. Again, this doesn't reflect how I portraying Xavier in the slightest.
#loveanddeepspace#love and deepspace#Xavier Love and Deepspace#Lnds#Lnds Xavier#lnds x reader#x reader#reader insert#xavier x reader#l&ds#l&ds xavier#l&ds xavier x reader#lads x reader#lads xavier#lads xavier x reader
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ms paint. you know her. u used her age 8 to make loads of rainbow ovals all over the canvas and then scramble it with selection tool. now u will know her true powers with my handyrandy tips under the readmore. some will be pretty basic and others are very special.
this post has 8 cool trix to learn for you. enjoy and i may do another in the future if i remember/learn more stuff
some of it might be common knowledge. but its got some deep cuts. all tips have gifs to show process easily.
🙂 enjoy and i hope this encourages you to fuck around in mspaint more
soundtrack for this post (loop it while you learn for advanced learning experience)
TIP 1) the right click trick
left and right mouse click correspond to col1 and col2 respectively, which u can see in the top bar. this applies to all brushes and the fill tool like above. when using shapes col2 will be the fill colour (if you have solid fill selected). right clicking with shape maker will reverse the colours use on the shape.
TIP 2) right click eraser
this one is extremely helpful for lineart or add shading. the eraser always uses col2. so your eraser can technically be any colour. but here's where you get powers: right clicking with eraser will only erase onto col1, with col2.
TIP 3) transparent selection change a guy destination
the beloved transparent selection tool works based on what is selected as col2. so long as you have the correct colour as col2 you can make any image transparent and put it on top of anything else. and yes this works with photo bg as you can see.
TIP 4) the gradience
this one is a little more complex. you want to start off with any canvas size, and make as many diagonal coloured bands as you want. (protip: holding down shift makes a perfectly diagonal line with line tool)
then you need to resize the canvas to a width of 1px (make sure you resize by pixels, and do not maintain aspect ratio). then resize again back to its original width (or a different width i cant stop you). you will have your lovely gradience.
TIP 5) superimposter
so. you got a cool gradient and wanna put a guy on it. heres what i do:
i open a 2nd mspaint with same canvas size and draw whatever i want on there. i then pick a completely unrelated colour to my entire piece, and set that as the bg. you could use white, pink, geen, whatever you want as long as it doesnt appear somewhere else in ur drawing. copy the guy.
go back to your gradient tab. ensure that col2 is set as that bg colour you picked (lilac for me). have "transparent selection" enabled. paste your guy in. cue fanfare
TIP 6) advanced superimposter
the great thing about this method is u can put multiple gradients in multiple areas of the image. this is where it gets all japanese printmaking type of shit. ukiyo-esque
all you need to do is make another canvas with a new gradient, ensure col2 is set as the colour you want to replace, then paste your original piece onto the new gradient. now my guy has a soft fade. you can do this as much as you want. (you could even make a canvas with a texture or photo and paste your drawing onto there)
TIP 7) "sketch layer"
so as you now know, col2 is what is removed when you click "transparent selection". which means you can also remove any instance of a colour from ur drawing. which means you can have a unique colour for sketch layer and remove it from the drawing later. i admittedly dont do this but it is a great trick to have.
now combine this with lowering your dpi for smoother lines. may seem obvious but it helps. its like a free stabiliser whenever u want.
TIP 8) rainbow art
now this is where you can get dizzee rascal "bonkers". check out my small and shitty rainbow trick. you can select anything and hold down shift, then drag with left mouse, to turn that selection into its own brush. i even did it with a guy. and you can of course do this with a photo as well.
🙂well that it for now. hope you liked it thanks for reading now back to your regularly scheduled tgcg programming
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Roomies With Benefits
(re-posting from my old account seulrinnie-rinrin/xomakara-secondary)
SUMMARY | You have no choice but to be roommates with San when there is a glitch in the leasing office’s system. The more time that you live together, the more that you both can’t help but want each other. PAIRING | San x Reader GENRE | non-idol!San, College AU, Roommate trope, fake dating trope, smut with some plot, protected sex (wrap it up everyone!), vaginal sex, oral sex, fingering RATING | Mature, 18+, NSFW, MDNI LENGTH | 7,380 words TAGLIST | -- NETWORKS | AUTHOR’S NOTE | I would not mind living with San (or any of the other members) if there was a glitch in the system. LOL. Hope you all enjoy, reblog, like, comment~ Love you all ❤️
"There has to be misunderstanding," You looked at the management team of your apartment complex. "There's no way that you could lease the unit to two people who signed two different leases at different times. Please tell me I'm not crazy."
"My system shows that both you and Mr Choi are on the lease..." The manager searched for something on his tablet. "I will double check with my secretary to confirm if everything is correct. We should have an answer by tomorrow afternoon. Until then, can you and Mr Choi share the unit?"
You shook your head. There was no way that you'd share the apartment with Choi San, the most popular guy on campus and your arch rival since freshman year. Okay, sure he was stupidly, insanely hot with a sexy brain to boot but he wasn't someone you would ever let into your personal space, much less share the same living space.
There was also the small fact that he was one of the most eligible bachelors at school and always getting girls all over him. He had dated many of them before they got tired of playing second fiddle to his social life or wanted to get closer to his family money. You had seen him flirting with women during lunch, talking to his other stupidly, insanely hot friends about how he couldn't wait to bang yet another girl later that night. Every time he turned around, some new girl was ogling at him and that infuriated you.
Not that you hadn't had your fair share of guys sliding into your DMs just because they were interested in you, trying to impress you with expensive gifts or showing up on campus with roses, candy and other 'cute' things just to see you smile and notice them. Sure you were the Queen Bee on campus, even with barely any effort on your part, but that didn't mean you needed everyone else telling you how pretty and desirable you were, did it?
No. You were perfectly fine being single, thank you very much.
But it seemed like this misunderstanding would force you to spend more time together. How terrible.
"Let's just share the apartment for one night." San spoke up, the manager giving him a small nod. "Tomorrow, we expect answers."
You walked out of the management office, a scowl on your face as you waited for the elevator. San was by your side, tapping his foot impatiently while keeping an eye on your reactions. You were tired and just didn't feel like arguing with him right now.
"Let's just get to the apartment and figure something out." San muttered next to you. "It's probably not a big deal."
You sighed. "If only it were that simple." You tried to find the quickest route to the apartment unit so you could get away from him.
The last thing you needed right now was to come across San and a lot of sexual tension going through the roof, only making you more irritable than you already were. You hated how badly you wanted him, hated yourself for reacting the way you did whenever he was near you. It was disgusting, embarrassing and it made you want to punch the wall.
Shit. This was bad. Really bad.
San noticed the look on your face. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." You said as you approached the front door and opened it. You looked at the boxes that littered the living room area, both yours and his mingled together in a weird mixture of feminine and masculine decor.
He sighed and followed you inside. "Are you sure you're okay? Everything seems fine to me. What's the problem?"
"We need to share this apartment tonight." You stated matter-of-factly. "That means I'll be sleeping here with you. By tomorrow, the whole campus is going to talk about how the Queen Bee and Alpha Male hooked up. No way can that happen. My reputation is on the line."
"And what do you care about your reputation?" He asked, walking towards you. You backed up against the door, causing him to stop.
"You know I care about my image." You snapped back. "Besides, I've worked too hard to maintain my social status for me to lose it because of a mistake."
His eyes narrowed as he took in your features. His nostrils flared slightly, his gaze darkening with every passing second. You knew what he was doing and you wished you could say something, stop him from approaching you and taking you against the door like a predator chasing down its prey.
Your heartbeat accelerated and your body started to react in ways you never expected, long buried desires resurfacing once again, feelings stirring deep within your heart.
If he touched you right now, you wouldn't fight him. You'd let him take you and fuck you into oblivion until neither of you could walk. All you cared about was his lips on your neck, his hands running along your hips and thighs, your fingers entwined with his. You'd be content to go slow and explore your bodies for hours, waiting for the moment when he finally plunged into you, thrusting hard and fast until you couldn't take anymore.
Instead, you were stuck with San, who was staring at you with his hot brown eyes, and even though he didn't touch you, the longing in his stare burned hotter than the fire raging behind his irises. You were powerless to do anything but stand there, watching him silently and hoping that he would finally make his move.
But he didn't. He turned away and gestured to the door of the bedroom. "Take the room. I'll sleep on the couch tonight. Hopefully, tomorrow we can find out why there was a mix-up and we won't have to worry about this shit anymore."
"Are you sure you don't mind?" You asked hesitantly. He glanced at you, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly as he stared at you intently.
"Yeah, take it." San nodded. "Despite all the things you hear about me on campus, I don't go around sleeping with women without their consent. Even you, Queen Bee. I respect that. Just take the room."
"Thank you." You breathed softly, thankful for his generosity and maturity. With a slight sigh, you walked towards the bedroom and closed the door behind you. You locked it and crawled onto the bed, pulling the blanket over your body and laying there for a few seconds before turning off the lights.
You lay on the bed for a few minutes, wondering what had gotten into San. Why did he suddenly act so mature? And was it really possible that you weren't imagining things earlier? Did he actually desire you as well?
It felt like a heavy weight was lifted off your shoulders. Yes, maybe it was a mix-up and the leasing office really did mess up your contracts. Maybe, just maybe, everything would work out just fine.
With those thoughts filling your mind, you fell asleep quickly.
You woke up slowly, disoriented from the light pouring into the room. Your heart raced as your eyes adjusted to the sunlight. Slowly opening your eyes, you blinked several times, your eyes adjusting to the unfamiliar ceiling above you.
Getting up and unlocking the door to the bedroom to make your way to the kitchen, you looked at San's figure as he snoozed away on the couch. The covers were pulled up to his chin and his shirt was partially undone, exposing a sliver of chestnut skin.
For a moment, you just stood there and watched him sleep, the excitement from yesterday still lingering on your skin.
You started up the coffee machine, brewed a fresh pot and made your way to one of the boxes in the living one that had your clothes packed in. Careful to not wake San up, you closed the bathroom door behind you and locked it so that you could shower in peace.
After taking a quick shower, you dried yourself off and put on your clothes. You made your way back to the kitchen and poured yourself a cup of coffee, adding a spoonful of sugar to sweeten it a little. As you sipped on the delicious black liquid, you leaned against the counter and browsed on your phone. A minute passed before you heard the sound of footsteps on the wooden floor, followed by a yawn.
"Good morning." San said with a soft smile as you poured him a cup of coffee and slid it towards him.
"Morning." You replied. "After you get ready for the day, let's go down to the leasing office and see what they say."
"Sure." He said as he gulped down half his coffee, eyes trained on your form as you took another sip. You knew exactly what was going through his head and you didn't think he was going to be able to hide it from you anytime soon. The expression on his face was clear evidence that he liked what he saw.
About half an hour later, you and San both made your way to the leasing office. Walking past the crowds of students that congregated outside the main building, you arrived at the office and entered the queue. After a short wait, you finally reached the front desk and signed your name on the sign-in sheet.
"I'm sorry for the inconvenience." The manager apologized again as he looked at you and San. "Unfortunately, there was a glitch in the system and I'm afraid that our records show that we mistakenly assigned you the same unit."
"There's no other units that are available? Not even in a different location?" San inquired, a frown etched across his brow.
"There's nothing left." The manager shook his head. "All the other units have already been filled by other students that are no longer living in the dorms, sorority or frat houses."
"When is the next available unit?" You asked, putting on your best poker face. "How long will it take for us to get one?"
The manager paused for a moment, seemingly torn between wanting to tell you that there wasn't another unit available and being worried about offending you by saying so. "I'm so very sorry but there won't be any available units until the next school year. You may have to find someplace else to live if you cannot accept that."
"That won't be necessary." San interrupted. "I'm sure Miss Y/N and I will figure something out."
"That's good." The manager gave you a sympathetic smile before looking back at San. "Well, if you need anything at all, please let me know. If you need help finding a new place, I'm happy to assist."
San nodded and gave the man a polite smile before turning towards you. "We should go. Let's head back to the apartment."
You followed him back to the elevator, ignoring all the curious glances that the both of you attracted. Some people didn't know why you two were sharing an apartment, others were just trying to catch a glimpse of San and you, others were already forming their opinions and thoughts of the two hottest people on campus and if they were really dating. Either way, everyone wanted to know the answers to these questions.
By the time you got to the apartment unit, the sun had almost set and nightfall was upon you. Both of you dumped your bags inside the apartment and decided to sit down on the couch.
"So..." San said, breaking the silence. "I guess we're going to spend our last year of university in the same unit..."
You nodded. "Yep."
"Let's try to work something out. Why don't you continue to stay in the bedroom and I'll stay on the couch for the time being?"
"I can't let you sleep on the couch forever, San." You protested.
"Then just let me stay in the bedroom until we find another solution." He suggested. "Unless you don't want to share the bed with me either?"
"I-I'm fine with sharing." You stammered out, avoiding eye contact with him. There was a nervous twitch dancing on the end of your lips as you felt your cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.
"What are you thinking about, Y/N?" San asked, bringing your attention back to him. His eyes flickered from side to side, peeking at your lips before landing on your eyes.
"Oh...nothing." You mumbled, averting your gaze. "I can already hear the rumours..."
"Then why don't we just date?" San suggested. "At least to the public. No one will bat an eye if we said that we moved in together because after being a couple for a few months. But in private, we'll just be two roommates. Nothing more."
"Maybe...maybe we should do that." You murmured softly. Your cheeks grew redder and your voice was barely audible. You could feel your heart pounding loudly in your chest as your pulse raced in anticipation of what San would say next.
"I promise I won't touch you unless you ask me to." San said softly. "And I won't demand anything sexual from you."
You swallowed heavily, biting your lip as you met San's intense gaze. "You...you're sure?"
"Of course I am." He said firmly. "I don't want to pressure you into doing anything that you aren't comfortable with. So I'll leave it up to you."
Tilting your head to the side, you tried to decide how to respond. If this was truly the only option you had, then perhaps dating San would work out. “Okay, fine.” You sighed, giving in. “We’ll try it. But if I ever start feeling uncomfortable or I don’t want to date you anymore, you better not hold it against me.”
"Deal, now why don't we start unpacking?" San suggested, standing up and walking towards the bedroom. "This is going to be our home for the next year. Let's make it a nice home, okay?"
He was right. This would be your home for the next year and you should make the most of it. Putting aside your worries for the moment, you grabbed your bag and followed San into the bedroom. Once you had unpacked your stuff, you sat down on the edge of the bed while San sorted out the rest of his belongings. You both then moved to the living room and settled on opposite sides of the couch.
"I can already see the look on your friends' faces when we tell them that we're 'dating'. They probably think that we're crazy and that we're playing games. They'll see right through us." You remarked.
"Then should we practice on making it look real?" San asked. "Or is that asking too much?"
“I don’t think I have it in me.” You shrugged. “But if it makes you feel better…”
With a smile plastered across his face, San leaned forward and kissed you on the lips. It wasn’t overly romantic and it was brief, but it showed enough of his intentions to get you to agree to his plan. You hadn’t expected that kissing him would make you feel tingly inside, but your stomach fluttered as he pressed his lips to yours. You could taste the remnants of coffee on his tongue and you couldn’t help but pull him closer to you, deepening the kiss. Before you knew it, you found yourself pinned to the sofa by San, unable to move or resist his grip.
"Y/N..." San whispered hoarsely. "Do you want to stop this or...?"
"I...don't know..." You confessed, not wanting to lie. "We can keep kissing...but nothing else tonight."
He looked into your eyes, a brief smile gracing his beautiful lips. "Okay, I could deal with only kissing." He paused for a moment, letting you adjust to the idea. "Though...if you change your mind, just give me a sign and I'll stop immediately."
Relieved, you smiled softly at San before nodding slightly. "Yeah, I'll let you know."
"Okay, then I'm going to kiss you some more." San purred, leaning in once again. "If you tell me to stop, I will."
His lips descended slowly over yours, igniting your body with passion. He tasted like coffee and mint toothpaste and he smelled amazing. His hands explored your waistline, slipping under the material of your shirt. All you wanted was to feel San’s skin against yours. To feel every inch of his muscular frame pressed against you. To inhale the scent of his cologne and bask in the warmth radiating off his body. With those thoughts in mind, you leaned forward and ran your fingers through his hair, pulling him tighter against you.
Your kisses became deeper, your breathing erratic as you moaned louder than you intended. Your hips arched upwards, pressing against San's crotch. A small groan escaped his throat as you began kissing him harder, your breath hot and ragged against his ear.
You weren't aware that your fingernails dug into his scalp as you felt him push against you, trying to make you moan louder. "Y/N..." San moaned as you bit down on his earlobe, sending chills down your spine. "We should stop...while we can."
You lifted your head, panting heavily as you gazed at San. "Yeah, yeah we should stop." You agreed, trying to steady your heartbeat.
Damn, living with San was going to be interesting.
That night you laid in bed under the covers as you turned your head to watch San snoozed next to you on top of the covers. You stared at his sleeping form for several minutes before realizing that you were staring at him. You smiled softly as you layed back down, curling up beside him. After a few moments, San opened his eyes and gazed at you.
"Are you awake?" He asked quietly.
"Mmhmm, yes I am." You responded softly. "Hard to sleep with someone lying next to you isn't it?"
San rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. "It certainly can be." He murmured. "But I've been doing it for so long that I just kind of accepted it."
"I guess I haven't gotten used to having someone next to me yet." You commented with a small chuckle.
"The Queen Bee is not used to having someone next to her?" San teased. "How strange."
Shaking your head, you smiled. "No, not at all. I know I get plenty of male attention being the Queen Bee on campus but I just turn everyone down. I guess it's because I prefer spending my time alone. Besides, the guys who are attracted to me are creeps anyway."
"I'm attracted to you." San chuckled. "Does that make me a creep?"
"There's no way you're attracted to me, Choi San." You replied, shaking your head again. "I'm not exactly your type."
"Who says you're not my type?" He countered. "All the other girls that try to get into my pants? You don't think I notice you?"
You sighed, rolling your eyes at San's persistence. He was determined to prove his point, despite the fact that you still disagreed with him. "Look, I'm flattered that you think I'm attractive but-"
"No, Y/N." San interrupted. "Just hear me out. You're beautiful, smart and funny. Plus, you don't put up with any crap from anyone. Do you know how rare that is?"
For the first time since San spoke, you stopped to think about his words. "Am I really that special?" You asked.
"You're pretty damn special, actually." San admitted. "I don't know why you don't think you're attractive if half the student body and myself fall at your feet."
Laughing lightly, you shook your head. "I think I'd rather spend my time alone than get wrapped up in relationships." You decided. "Besides, I'm not interested in hook ups."
"You didn't say that when we kissed earlier." San pointed out.
"I-it was different!" You protested. "A kiss doesn't mean I want to have sex with you!"
San smirked. "Why did you kiss me then? Just to test the waters?"
Blushing bright red, you ducked your head low as San reached out and gently stroked your cheek. "Not necessarily..." You muttered, glancing away.
"Don't be embarrassed by what happened earlier." San said, placing a finger underneath your chin and lifting your head. "I liked kissing you and I know you like kissing me too. If you don't want to do anything else tonight, then that's fine with me. But you need to at least admit that there's something between us."
Your heart pounded loudly in your ears as you fought back the desire to lean forward and kiss him. "So what do you suggest we do instead?" You asked.
"Well..." San trailed off. "There is one thing I've always wanted to do with you."
"Oh?" You asked.
"Mmhm." San nodded. "I was hoping that maybe you'd let me kiss you again."
A grin tugged at the corner of your mouth as you watched San's face light up. "I'm not opposed to another kiss." You admitted. "But..."
"But?" San prompted.
"I was thinking..." You trailed off, trying to find the right words. "Maybe we could just go slow and enjoy each other's company."
San regarded you for a moment before nodding. "Alright, I can do that." He said. "Tonight's the first night we live together so it'll be the perfect opportunity for us to get to know each other. We can take things easy and see where they lead us."
You placed a hand on San's cheek, tracing his soft features with your thumb. "I like the sound of that." You told him. "Now you can kiss me."
For the remainder of the night, you were lost in his kisses.
It had been several weeks since you and San started living together as roommates. In the comfort of your own home, the both of you led your private lives away from the prying eyes of others. Nowadays, the both of you would talk for hours on end about your day or complain about the latest episode of your favourite drama. You never thought that being able to converse with someone was such a relief, especially after a stressful week at work or class.
When the both of you were out in public together, you both played your parts as a couple convincingly. You'd hold hands with San, kiss him, blush when his hand slid lower than where it needed to be and even grab onto his arm whenever the conversation turned serious. Even San's friends were convinced that the both of you were dating and no one batted an eye when you came out of the bathroom in the middle of the party to hug San, accidentally brushing your breast against his arm or when he would wrap an arm around your waist to pull you close to him and kiss your forehead.
Friends would ask about your sex life but you clearly didn't have one. At least not yet. You were content spending the night in bed telling each other stories or just cuddling while watching television. Exchanging kisses every now and then but making sure to limit yourselves to making out and no further. It wasn't that you didn't want to have sex with San, it was just that you weren't ready for a relationship at this point in your life. Not to mention that you didn't want to rush into anything. If you took your time getting to know San better, it would make everything less awkward when the time finally came.
And then San's friend Wooyoung wanted to throw a small get-together at the apartment.
"Why does everyone want to throw a party here?" You complained as you walked into the kitchen. "Can't anyone take care of their own parties?"
"Scared that everyone will find out?" San teased you.
"How will they find out when our apartment has both of our stuff scattered everywhere?" You mumbled. "Our apartment literally looks like a couple. If anyone steps into the bedroom, I will murder someone."
San chuckled as he stood beside you, handing you a cup of tea. "I know you'd rather be curled up on the couch with a book but let's try to keep appearances up tonight. Okay?"
You sighed, taking the offered cup. "Fine."
Wooyoung had invited all of his friends and a few girls from the campus. Although you didn't want to mingle with the others, you did it for San's sake. But as the night progressed, you became increasingly bored. Most of the guys in attendance were there to ogle over the attractive women but San stuck close to you the entire time. The girls, on the other hand, kept flirting and vying for San's attention but he refused them all politely.
He only had eyes for you.
Sighing, you excused yourself from the room to use the restroom. After finishing your business, you left the restroon and tried looking for a seat but noticed that they were all taken. Everyone was drinking, eating, and conversing with each other. When San saw you standing there, he gestured you over to him, only to pull you into his lap.
"San!" You whispered, his hands resting on your hips.
"Shh...it's time to play house." San murmured huskily into your ear. "Need to keep up the charade."
You blushed deeply, glancing around at the amused stares of his friends. For the sake of San, you accepted his invitation to stay seated on his lap. At first, it seemed innocent enough, but soon you could feel San running a hand up and down your back, his soft fingers caressing your bare thigh. The tips of his fingers slowly inched higher until they brushed against the bottom of your skirt.
"San..." You whispered again, surprised by his sudden boldness.
"Can I kiss you, Y/N?" He breathed into your ear. "Please? I really want to kiss you right now."
Your breath hitched in your throat, knowing full well what he meant. Not that you were opposed to kissing San, you enjoyed the feel of his lips pressed against yours whenever you got the chance. But he'd never made a move on you like this before in public. Sure, you'd gotten hugs and a quick peck on the cheek from him for appearances sake but none of those kisses made your heart race like this.
"What do you think?" San whispered, pulling back from your ear long enough to meet your gaze.
"In front of everyone?" You questioned quietly.
"Baby, we need to give them a show so they can get up and leave the apartment." He reasoned. "Besides, I've been thinking about kissing you this whole day. And you looked so sexy today, dressed in that short skirt and that tight, sexy top. So yes, in front of everyone is exactly where I want to be kissing you."
With a soft sigh, you reluctantly nodded. "Alright, let's give them something to watch."
Slowly, San pulled you closer, placing his free hand on the nape of your neck, gently holding your head still. Then, with his mouth just inches away from yours, San whispered, "Kiss me, Y/N."
You closed your eyes and lowered your head, offering your lips to San without hesitation. In return, San captured your lips in a gentle kiss that melted your insides and made you gasp. Your mouths remained connected, devouring each other with lustful desire. There was no hesitation, no inhibitions; it was purely a display of raw lust and intense passion.
The way he held you, tenderly caressing your back, sending goosebumps all over your body and the pressure of his lips against yours sent shivers down your spine. All you wanted to do was to run your fingers through his messy, black hair and slip your arms around his neck, begging him to touch you wherever he pleased.
As if reading your mind, San broke the kiss, grinning as he rested his forehead against yours. "Well, are you satisfied?"
Hearing San speak like that caused your cheeks to burn red. "You could say that." You replied, a little breathless.
"Good." San grinned, lightly running his fingers down your side.
You heard a cough and you both looked up to see Wooyoung staring at the two of you with a smug grin on his face. "Sooooo, is this the cue for us to end the party and go home so that ya'll can fuck each other senseless? Because that's what I'm hearing."
San chuckled lightly as he rose to his feet, pulling you along with him. "Yep, I guess that is what we're doing. Time to shut the party down. Y/N is feeling tired."
"Tired, my ass." Wooyoung sneered, eyeing the two of you with amusement. "You guys are just horny. Look how the two of you can't keep your hands off of each other."
"Once you get a taste of pussy, you can't get enough of it." San commented and you couldn't help but bury your head in his shoulder out of sheer embarrassment. You looked up at San and he grinned down at you.
"Alright, folks. Party is over." You announced. "Go home so that I can have my boyfriend all to myself. Bye!"
You smiled brightly as you waved goodbye to everyone. Soon, the apartment was empty except for the two of you and it felt nice to finally be alone with San again. As soon as you sat on the couch, San's hands grabbed onto your thighs and pulled you closer to him.
"You don't have to pretend anymore, baby." San whispered in your ear, making your heart flutter uncontrollably. "All of these people aren't here to judge you. We can enjoy ourselves in our own little world."
He stroked your leg softly, trailing his fingers down the edge of your skirt.
"It feels good to not have to act like we have a charade going on." You murmured, smiling up at San.
"Why don't we make this charade real then?" San gave you a mischievous smile, unbuttoning your tight shirt and letting it fall to the floor. "Why don't we live in reality instead of this fantasy that we're putting on for everyone else?"
"San...what are you-"
But before you could finish your sentence, San reached up and cupped your face with his hands, giving you a deep, passionate kiss that left you breathless. Once he released your lips, you stared up at him with wide eyes. "Baby, I don't want to just kiss anymore. It's so hard for me to control myself around you. I want to throw you over the couch, tear your clothes off and fuck you until neither of us can move anymore."
"I know you want it too, Y/N. It shows in the way you look at me sometimes." San admitted, leaning down to give you another gentle kiss. "When you kiss me sometimes. When you wear these sexy clothes and don't think I'm not paying attention to you. I pay attention, I pay so much attention that I want to rip your clothes off and fuck you until you're screaming my name. I want you, baby. More than I ever thought possible. I want to lose myself in you. Take you any which way I please. Make you scream my name so loud that everyone within earshot knows who you belong to."
Fuck, you wanted this man. So bad that you ached in places that you never knew existed. Your body hummed with pleasure as you moaned against San's lips. "And why hold it in?" You whimpered, raising your hand to trace the outline of San's jawline.
"Because you're a queen that deserves to be treated like one." San growled, slowly slipping his tongue into your open mouth. "And if my queen wanted to wait and take things slow, then I would respect her wishes. I would wait until she wants me inside of her, filling her with the sweet warmth of my love."
You gasped as his warm tongue slid over yours. His kiss was different from the ones you shared in the past. Now, it wasn't as if you two were strangers; there was an unspoken connection between you two that grew deeper with every passing second. "And now?"
"I want you, Y/N. I want you more than anything in this world." San rasped. "Tonight, I want you in ways that I haven't even imagined before. You've made me realize that there are a lot of things I've never experienced in life, and now that I have you, I plan on experiencing everything."
Your heart swelled in your chest as you gazed at San with longing. You leaned forward, pressing your lips against San's once again, wanting nothing more than to be in his embrace forever.
This. Was. It.
"I want you too." You mumbled against his lips. "Every part of you, San."
A single hand ran through your hair, tugging gently while the other caressed your cheekbone. Your hands grasped the sides of his shirt, gently pulling it upward until it fell to the floor with a thud.
"Oh God, baby." San moaned as you kissed your way down his neck, leaving a trail of fire-like kisses along his collar bone. When you finally stopped teasing him, you placed your palms against his muscular stomach and ran them downward until you reached the waistband of his jeans. Slowly, you unzipped his pants, revealing his hard length for the very first time.
"San...you're so beautiful." You breathed, caressing his shaft with trembling fingers. "I've always loved the way you smell, but seeing you with your pants undone, sporting a cock so big and thick in front of me has made me a complete mess."
He groaned as you took his dick into your hand, admiring the thickness and length of it. It was perfectly shaped and there was a huge vein pulsating down its center, stretching out towards the tip of his erection. His dick was so perfect, so breathtaking, that you had a difficult time keeping yourself from taking him into your mouth and sucking on it.
Instead, you cupped his balls in one hand and began massaging them with the other, causing him to groan even louder.
"Are you trying to drive me crazy?" He asked in between pants.
"Is it working?" You teased.
"Yes..." He muttered through clenched teeth. "More, baby. Please, give me more."
His words fueled your already raging desire for him. You squeezed his balls harder, eliciting a low moan from him. You dropped to your knees and started to pull his underwear down until they pooled at his ankles. San threw his head back, moaning louder as your mouth descended upon his cock, tasting the salty essence of pre-cum as you engulfed the entirety of him in your mouth.
"You're such a good girl." San moaned, running his hands through your hair as you pleasured him. "So eager to please. So eager to swallow my cum, just like you swallowed all of me. That's it, Y/N. Suck it like you mean it. Suck it like you fucking love it."
Breathing heavily, you licked the head of his dick, humming as you continued to suck on him. The taste of him was intoxicating, addicting, almost like drinking your favorite cocktail. Each time you slid your mouth further down, taking him deeper into your throat, you felt yourself getting lost in his intoxicating scent.
Soon, you found yourself drooling over the sight of his dick sliding between your lips. And as you looked up at him with hooded eyes, you noticed the way he looked at you. Like you were his entire universe. Like you were meant to be his.
"Please..." San whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. "Take it all."
You hummed against him, continuing to stroke him in a circular motion with your hand as you kept up with your ministrations with your mouth. You could feel him getting close to climax, so you slowed down, taking his dick out of your mouth. "Cum for me, San. Coat my throat with your cum."
You wanted him to cum so badly. You wanted him to fill your mouth with his semen so that you could drink it down greedily. "Let it flow, San. Let it all flow down my throat."
A few seconds later, you heard San release a strangled gasp. A second after that, he flooded your mouth with his cum, shooting stream after stream down your throat.
It didn't matter if you weren't prepared for it. All that mattered was that San came, and that he did it because of you.
As he pumped out the last of his semen into your mouth, you felt the vibrations in his dick as he became still. A moment later, you took the head of his dick into your mouth, sucking the remaining cum off of him. Then, you raised your head and looked up at San, panting slightly as he tried to catch his breath.
"Did I do good?" You asked, tilting your head to the side as you watched him carefully.
"You blew me away, baby." San chuckled, reaching out to touch your cheek. "And now I really want to fuck you."
"Mmm, okay." You nodded. "That sounds like a great idea."
With a wicked grin, San wrapped his arms around your waist and picked you up off the ground, carrying you over to the bedroom. Once he laid you down on the bed, he climbed atop you, kissing your forehead, his hands pulling off the last of your clothes. After that, his lips followed their path southward, lingering against your skin as his mouth moved down to tease your breasts.
Once his lips latched onto your nipples, he began sucking gently on them, occasionally releasing them to circle around them with his tongue. At the same time, his fingers began circling around your core, his thumb dipping between your folds and pushing into you with soft, tender strokes.
"Ahh..." You cried out as your entire body began to tingle. "S-San!"
"Tell me what you want, Y/N." San murmured against your breast. "Tell me how you want me to fuck you."
Gathering all of your courage, you pulled his face upwards and locked eyes with him. "Do whatever you want with me, San. Do whatever you need to do to get you off. Fuck me however you want. But please...fuck me hard."
At the sound of your begging, San laughed softly and said, "Well, when you put it that way...you make it very difficult to refuse."
Grabbing a condom out of the nightstand drawer, he ripped it open with his teeth, using his other hand to roll it down his throbbing member. Soon enough, he positioned himself between your legs and settled himself on top of you, sinking into your wet heat with one thrust.
It was the best feeling you'd ever experienced. Being completely filled by this man. This man who you desperately wanted to claim as your own.
San grabbed your wrists, pinning them over your head as he started to pump his hips, slowly. "God, you feel amazing." He grunted. "You're so tight around me. So hot. So fucking hot. I can't believe that I'm finally here, buried deep inside of you. Your pussy is tighter than I could have ever dreamed of. How is that even possible?"
"Fuck, San..." You panted, rocking your hips underneath him. "Keep going."
"Okay." San replied, smiling as he pushed into you harder. "You want it harder? Okay, I'll give it to you."
One of San's hands went to your hip, gripping you tightly as he slammed into you. His other hand gripped your hair, bringing your face closer to his as he bit down on your shoulder. "Fuck, baby." He whispered. "Your tits look amazing bouncing in the air."
"Does it feel good, Y/N?" He whispered, pushing into you even harder. "Tell me what you like. Tell me what you want me to do."
"Ahhh..." You cried out. "I like this, San. Just keep doing this. Keep doing exactly what you're doing."
His lips left your shoulder and traveled to your ear where he nibbled lightly on your lobe. "I love the way you say my name." He murmured, brushing his nose across your cheek. "It's so sexy. So, so fucking sexy."
He then trailed kisses down your neck, pausing to kiss and suck your collar bone as he continued to plunge into you. Before long, he was running his lips back up to your ear, whispering against it. "Y/N, are you ready for me to take you to heaven and back? Because I am. I am right now. As soon as you let go, I'll take you to paradise and fuck you until we both pass out from exhaustion."
"Oh god, San..." You whimpered, tightening your thighs around him. "Take me there. Take me to paradise. Don't stop fucking me. Never stop fucking me. Don't you dare stop fucking me."
"Never." He agreed, running his hand over your ass as he increased his pace, slamming into you over and over again. "I don't ever plan on stopping."
"Yes, yes, yes!" You screamed, burying your head into the pillow beneath you as San increased his speed yet again. You dug your nails into the mattress as you panted loudly, attempting to regain your breath. "San, oh god, San!"
"Cum for me, baby." He panted against your ear. "Can you cum for me?"
"Yes!" You cried out, arching your back and grabbing hold of the sheets, wrapping your fingers around them. "I'm coming! Oh god, I'm coming!"
A few seconds later, San's entire body stiffened and his dick began pulsating inside of you. For a brief moment, his cock twitched as he held onto you for dear life before the orgasm hit him and washed over him. He fell forward onto your chest, gasping for breath as you clung to him. When he caught his breath, he pulled out of you, sitting upright on the bed next to you and pulled the condom off of his dick. With a small smile, he tossed it onto the floor, then collapsed beside you, spooning you from behind.
After several minutes, you finally recovered from your near death experience and opened your eyes. You smiled softly as you saw San lying naked next to you.
"Hey." He murmured, brushing his fingertips along your arm. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." You assured him, snuggling into him.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" San asked, stroking your arm with his thumb.
"No, you didn't hurt me." You giggled. "Actually, it felt pretty damn amazing."
"I'm glad." San sighed. "And to think that we've been living together all this time and haven't done this. We definitely need to remedy that situation."
You couldn't help but laugh as you pressed a kiss to his lips. "And how do you propose we do that?"
"Anytime, anywhere." San grinned. "I don't care. As long as it involves you and me and lots of sex."
"Oh, we can definitely work with that." You giggled. "Speaking of which...I'm kind of curious about something."
"What's that?" San asked, running his hand up and down your thigh.
"Now that this whole thing has happened...are we still playing pretend or...?"
"We're not pretending anymore, Y/N." San interrupted you. "From now on, you're mine and I'm yours."
You swallowed nervously. "Yours?"
"I'm saying that we're together, baby." San explained, pulling you in close. "For real this time. No more games. No more pretending."
You smiled softly, resting your head against San's chest. "That makes me really happy, San."
"Now that that's settled," he murmured against your neck, "how about we get this night started again? Because I know I can't wait any longer to fuck you again."
"San!" You let out a laugh as you squirmed in his arms. "Don't you dare."
"...Too late." San smirked as he slid into you. "I told you that I wouldn't stop until I fucked you again. And I meant every word."
And he certainly wasn't kidding.
#illusionnet#blossomnet#atzhouse#cromernet#wonderlandnet#ateez#ateez fanfic#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#ateez fic#ateez fanfics#ateez stories#ateez smut#ateez san#ateez san smut#choi san#san#san smut#san x reader
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Question…? - Miguel O’hara
//the miguel brainrot brought this piece to life tbr. it’s kinda just for shits and giggles but there might be more. depends on how this one does//
Pairing: Miguel O’hara x Reader
Word Count: 3,868
Summary: The latest recruit to the Spider Society hits a bit too close to home for its head honcho. But with great power comes great persistence to get answers.
You landed on the roof of your building and pulled your mask up, wiping a hand down your slightly sweaty face. You looked at the bright display of the neon billboard across the alley and saw the breaking news story of your latest bust of the local Midnight Sons crime syndicate. You smirked slightly as you watched the reporter talk to the police who had to reluctantly admit that you, Arachne, had caught them. He tried to dance around it but the fact that your webs were covering the background made it obvious.
Just as you were about to head inside, you felt a tingle shoot down your spine. An unfamiliar yet not unwelcome sensation crawled across your skin so you quickly replaced your mask and spun around, web shooters ready. Instead of being greeted by a foe, you were greeted with a large and seemingly unstable orange circle that vaguely resembled a doorway.
Before you could say anything, you had to drop to your stomach as a motorbike came barreling through. You rolled to your back and flicked a quick burst from either wrist to latch a web to both tires. You kicked yourself back and pulled the bike with you, forcing its rider to disengage and land on the opposite side of the roof.
“Not bad.” She said, though her back was still to you as you stood slowly. “I knew you were quick, but I didn’t think you’d be that quick.”
“Right… And you are?” You asked carefully. You didn’t feel she was a threat, but something about the way she triggered that sixth sense made you tense. “I mean, you came at me full speed on a motorcycle so you owe me that.”
“Jessica Drew.” She turned to face you and the first thing you noticed was her belly. “And I’m just like you.”
“I’m not pregnant!” You decided quickly, a hand covering your stomach.
She laughed and shook her head. After a second, you hesitantly laughed with her. “I meant the Spider Woman thing.”
“Ah…” You nodded before slowly lifting your mask again. “That’s what I felt?”
“Mhmm..”
“I thought I was the only one.”
“Yes and no.” She moved towards her bike, which you hurried over to beside her. “If you’re interested, there’s someone I think you should meet.”
You followed her through the orange and ended up in a massive complex. There were dozens upon dozens of variations of… you.
A cat version. A monkey version. A dinosaur. A plushie. A cyborg. An avatar. A video game. Other girls, other guys. Any type of Spider variation you could imagine, it was there.
As you were taking it all in, you were hit with the sharpest pain you’d ever had in your life. It took over your entire body, felt as if you were being yanked apart and haphazardly put back together. Your insides felt rearranged and your head spun violently while everything seemed to be ignited. But the pain only lasted for a second.
Jessica told you it was your body glitching from being outside your own universe, which she also explained was granted the official title of Earth-3505. She slipped a blue band around your wrist and you felt every ounce of tension in your body disappear. She explained the device on her wrist, how it kept her from glitching while allowing for travel to any dimension.
You had to admit. All the tech and different universes blew every single theory and experiment you had ever known out of the water.
You were talking with Jessica through the long walk down a rather dark and drafty hall that led to a wide open work area. She called to the man on the platform, which began to lower at an agonizingly slow pace. Awkwardly, you rocked on your heels and fiddled with your web shooters, checking the cartridges and scratching away the dried remnants from your earlier endeavors. You tugged the neck of your suit and dusted imaginary dirt off before running fingers through your hair and giving it a small shake in an effort to look a bit more presentable.
When you heard the gears click into place you looked back and found yourself in utter shock, despite him not even facing you yet.
And as someone who would fight the Bloodstones, a werewolf, and the literal avatar of a god of the moon, it took a lot to render you speechless.
The man on the platform was massive. The width of his chest and shoulders alone was at least the size of a twin mattress. His height towered over yours and you could tell even from the distance he was at. His upper body narrowed ridiculously into his waist, though his legs were proportionately built as well. And covering that Hercules-esque physique was a fitted red and blue suit, just like everyone else you had seen in that building.
So why hadn’t he given you the same tingle Jessica did?
You were snapped out of your thoughts when an elbow came roughly into your ribs.
“What?” You asked quickly, an innocent obliviousness in your voice.
“Introduce yourself.” Jessica hissed.
“Right.” You nodded and took a hesitant step forward. “I’m Y/N, from Earth 35-something.”
“3505.” She whispered.
“Yeah, sorry. Anyways, I’m like you and her and everyone else here… Back home I’m called Arachne, like the.. The myth. I’m sorry, are you not gonna face me?”
“¿Mande?” He said sharply and the sound of his voice drove your pulse to jump.
“If you’re gonna have your back to me the whole time, why am I even here?” You pushed, though your resolve was slowly shattering as you watched him turn around.
The room may have been dimly lit but you could see what looked like a red tint to his eyes.
“Why are you here?” He asked tightly as he hopped off the platform and stalked closer to you. You swallowed hard and flattened your two middle fingers against your palm to feel the trigger for your webs. “Why are-“
His sentence cut off abruptly when he got a few feet away from you.
“Miguel?” Jessica asked from beside you. You had forgotten she was there but you felt a bit more relaxed to know you weren’t alone in that room. “What is it?”
“What did you say your name was?” He asked. His words were intended to be more gentle, more intimate maybe, but they still had enough of an edge to keep your fingers where they were.
“Y/N… And you’re..?”
His face fell at your uncertainty, though you doubted Jessica noticed. He recovered rather quickly, as if your words reminded him of something painful. Something he already knew.
“Miguel O’hara.” He stood a bit taller, if that was even possible.
“It’s nice to meet you… You built all of this?” You asked lamely in hopes to fill the silence that you felt would suffocate you if you ignored.
“Yeah.. It’s a way to preserve the multiverse. Everyone here was hand picked to serve a bigger cause, to protect each other’s universe and canons.”
“I assume that’ll get explained if I get in?” You turned to Jessica who nodded with a small, amused smile.
“¿Perdóname, si entras?” His head cocked as the corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk that you felt was sarcastic. “No.”
“What?” You and Jessica asked at the same time.
“No.” He enunciated, hands at his waist and leaning forward.
“Why not?” You asked angrily, stepping forward with no regard to the size difference. “I can take anyone here!”
“Miguel, she’s really good.” Jessica tried earnestly. “I think you should give her a shot.”
“No.”
“C’mon.” She pressed.
“No.”
“What are you afraid of?” You challenged suddenly and the glare he shot your way made you hesitate.
“Afraid?” He laughed. “Afraid.. I’m not afraid.”
“Then what?”
“She looks just like her.” Miguel said, more to Jessica than you.
“Who?” She asked softly.
Miguel shot her a different look than the one he gave you. This one has more longing, more pain. You looked like someone he used to know. Likely someone he lost.
“Lyla.” Jessica said softly, waiting a moment for a hologram woman in a fur coat to appear at her shoulder. “Show Y/N around a little more, please.”
“Who- Oh.” The hologram spoke before disappearing and reappearing in front of you. She leaned in and lifted her heart shaped glasses before blinking away and reappearing up at Miguel’s side. A quick back and forth of hushed comments brought her back to you as she ushered you out of the room.
Lyla spoke quickly to you, bouncing around within your field of vision. She pointed out different Spider People, different villains. She showed you the machine that sent people home and the training center. While you were wandering the vast exercise area, you met two boys playfully roughhousing who seemed to create the golden retriever with black cat meets boys will be boys dynamic.
“Ooh! Who’s the new girl?” One of them ran up to you with a palpable excitement.
“Y/N Y/L/N.” You smiled and the other one leaned in close.
“Look at that.” He said with a small smirk, seemingly changing color with each sentence. “Got little fangs and all. That’s mad.”
“Whaaaat? Let me see!” The first one pushed the taller one aside and replaced him, though he leaned in significantly closer.
“I’m guessing these aren’t normal for Spiderman.” You laughed and gently pushed him back. “What’re your names?”
“Hobie, Hobie Brown.” He offered you a short salute.
“Pavitr Prabhakar.” He gave an extravagant bow. “How long have you been a spider person?”
You blew out a sigh and tried to calculate the numbers. “A few years? It happened my senior year of high school, and then the two years there... And then.. All I know is its been a while. You guys?”
“Couple months.” Pavitr answered with a small hop. “It’s been so easy.”
“Three years.” Hobie answered simply. “And yeah, it’s not bad. Your universe a mess, then?”
“I think mine is a weird one based on what you guys have said.” You answered awkwardly. “Werewolves, swamp things, Egyptian gods, monster hunters.”
“Sounds like a fantasy book.” Hobie scoffed.
“That’s the Midnight Sons for you.” You shrugged. “There’s normal stuff too, like other vigilantes. Daredevil and Black Cat and the Widow.”
“Were they bitten by a spider too?” Pavitr added with wide eyes.
“Who, Widow? Not that I know of.”
“How’d you get the little-“ Hobie made a vague fang gesture. “You a vampire, too?”
“Well, no.” You rubbed a hand over your mouth, suddenly embarrassed of your teeth.
“You’ve got everything else. Figured you had the little blood suckers and allat.”
“There’s rumors of one guy but I haven’t met him.. Actually, the spider that bit me was a mix between the same thing that created my world’s Goblin and just the radioactive spider. It was supposed to be able to cure something but…” You shrugged.
“Do they do anything?” Pavitr asked, still looking at your mouth intently. He slowly reached a finger forward so you leaned away and gently pushed his hand to the side.
“Uh..” Your brows furrowed. “Idunno.” You mumbled as you shrugged.
“You’ve never tried to bite anyone?” He laughed and Hobie facepalmed gently. “I totally would’ve.”
“I’ll try it when I get home.” You laughed slightly. You glanced around and noticed the AI woman - Lyla - was nowhere to be seen. “Can I ask you guys something?”
“Go for it.” Hobie nodded and Pavitr’s head bounced up and down like a bobble head.
“The little AI, Lyla… Does she see everything?” You asked quietly.
“You trynna do somtin’ you shouldn’t, aye?” Hobie quirked a brow.
“I wanna try to talk to Miguel but I get the feeling that she’ll keep me away.”
“Why?” Pavitr whispered loudly,
“Cause he sent me away, said I looked too much like someone.”
“Oy, Pav.” Hobie nudged the smaller boy before leaning down and plotting quietly. They went back and forth for a few moments before looking back at you. “Make it quick, yeah?”
“I owe you.” You grinned.
Pavitr and Hobie shared a small fist bump before Pavitr reached his fist towards you. You chuckled slightly and returned the gesture before the two ran off. It was only a few moments before sprinklers went off in the room. Lyla popped in and out of view, speaking rapidly and tapping small screens in front of her. She appeared in front of you, disheveled glasses and jacket hanging from her shoulders.
“Do. Not. Move.” She said firmly and you held hands up in surrender. She pointed two fingers at her eyes before pointing to you, gesturing up and down your body before disappearing again.
You leaned around slightly to ensure her digital frame was nowhere to be seen before you booked it out of the room. Your wet feet slipped on the sleek tiles so you opted to swing across the complex and back to Miguel’s workspace.
You wiped a damp hand across your face as you entered the hall again before you pulled yourself to the ceiling and crawled down the long corridor. Jessica left in a huff, muttering that he was unreasonable and that she wasn’t done. You watched her freeze and turn around, squinting her eyes in suspicion. You stayed still above her in hopes that she wouldn’t find you but with the water subtly dripping from your suit and hair, you thought you were caught. With a small smirk, she turned back and left.
You blew out a small sigh and continued down your path until you reentered Miguel’s wide open room. His back was towards the entrance as he vigorously typed and swiped various projections away. He was muttering to himself, broken Spanglish as he worked in that increasingly frazzled state. His head cocked over his shoulder as you clung to the space above the door.
“¿Qué estás haciendo?” He asked tightly, unable to face you fully. “And why are you wet?”
“I just…” You spoke, realizing you had no idea how to start. “May like some explanations.”
“I don’t have to explain anything to you.” He spoke simply, clearly trying to shut down the conversation.
“Okay, but… What if I just ask some general questions that have simple answers? Is that okay? I mean, can I ask you a question? Well a couple, but you know what I mean.”
“Can you please stop, just for a second?“ He sighed and pressed his palms against the table. You pursed your lips slightly and drummed your fingers against the wall while you waited for him to say something. “You don’t take ‘no’ for an answer, do you?”
“I don’t usually have to beg like this.” You confessed. You shifted your feet and leaned your shoulders against the wall behind you, allowing your hands to aim webs at the edge of his platform. You pulled yourself over and stood in front of him. “Miguel, please…”
“Ay, dios mío. You sound just like her, too.” He spoke to himself, though the desperation in his voice was hard to miss.
“Listen, if you don’t want me here because whoever I remind you of, that’s not good enough of a reason.” You insisted. Your words finally got him to turn and face you, which really drove home just how big he was. You gave a nervous chuckle and crossed your arms in an attempt of defiance. “I can prove myself against anyone here. I know I can do this!”
“It’s not about whether you’re-“ He began before he leaned down closer. You pulled back and teetered the edge of the platform. “What was that?”
“You got a little close.” You defended with a shrug.
“Not that, cariño.” He shook his head. “Open your mouth.”
“Okay!” You said loudly, trying to push him by his chest. “That’s not how you- Ugh! Whatthehellare-“
Your words became an incomprehensible jumble of syllables when his hand came to your face, fingers pressing gently on your cheeks to keep your lips apart. His pointer finger was free to manipulate your upper lip, exposing one side of your mouth. With a satisfied smirk, he let you go.
“Thought so..” He offered a lazy smirk. “Lemme see your hands.”
“Is this like.. part of the initiation process or something?” You tried to joke as you held up one hand. He took it by your wrist and gave your palm a gentle prod, just missing the trigger for your web shooter. “What are you looking for?”
“You always talk this much?” He mumbled with a small eye roll as he let go of your hand.
“It’s just a question.” You muttered and poured slightly.
He sat back on the edge of a table behind him, allowing for a more even eye line. But even at the new lowered height, he was definitely taller than you.
“How can anyone focus around you?” He said with a shake of his head.
“I can put the mask on, if it helps.” You offered awkwardly, reaching for the side pouch you usually tucked it away in.
Miguel looked back at you and laughed. A seemingly genuine sound that, up until that moment, you weren’t entirely sure was possible.
You took the opportunity to move away from the edge of the platform and stand more in front of him. Your hands rested lazily behind you and you simply looked at him for a minute.
The obvious physical stature was still as intimidating as ever but there was something in his expression. Something haunted, something guilty. However, when his eyes met yours, there was a softness there. A certain longing.
How does anyone focus around you? You thought as you took in his features for a little longer.
“You always stare like that when you’re not talking?” His brows raised with a slight smile as his arms crossed over his chest.
“Not usually.” You answered with a shrug of one shoulder in an attempt to ignore the blush creeping across your cheeks. “I take it you didn’t find what you were looking for with my hand, but you didn’t send me away again so maybe that was a good thing… Maybe I can…”
“Go ahead and ask your questions.” He nodded, adding a tired sigh at the end as if to say he was giving in. You thought he was curious as to what you wanted to know.
“What’s the big deal about my teeth?”
“Your teeth..” He chuckled slightly. “Most of the spiders around here don’t have fangs, cariño.”
“Right but why do you care?”
“Cause I have them too.”
“What do yours do?”
“Paralysis. Yours?”
“Dunno.” You confessed. “I’ve never bit anyone. Can I see?”
“No.”
“C’mon!”
“No.”
“Fine.”
You flicked a web at his chest and yanked him to lean forward, earning a small Spanish exclamation from him. You kept hold of the web with one hand and put the other on his shoulder as you leaned in slightly. His eyes darted between yours in slight shock before he broke into a small smile, enough for you to see a moderately more pronounced version of the same teeth in your mouth.
“Woah.” You said quietly as your eyes drifted to where your webs met his suit. “Wait..”
“What is it?” He asked lowly and the tone sent a shiver down your spine.
“Your suit. It’s all tech?”
“Mhmm.”
“That’s so cool.” You breathed with a smile, which faded as you squinted and noticed a falter in the colors. “It’s like a projection, which means if I…” You gave another slight tug on your web and watched the distortion of the colors where your palm was pressed against him. You laughed slightly before looking back at Miguel.
The web suddenly snapped and you stumbled backwards. You looked down and saw the excess still wrapped around your wrist. The tensile strength was much stronger than that so it shouldn’t have betrayed you so suddenly. It had never failed before. Turning your head back to Miguel, you saw the projections from the pads of his fingers.
“You were looking for claws?” Your brows raised as your head jerked towards his hand. “You could’ve asked.”
He simply shrugged.
“Let me ask you something…” He said calmly as he leaned back to his originally sitting position. “Why do you wanna be here so bad?”
“Good girl.” You gestured to yourself. “Sad boy.” You gestured to him and he shook his head with a scoff. You offered a small smile before wandering in a small circle, your back now to Miguel. “We all have this one thing going on.. And it’s always one thing after another, situations and circumstances and miscommunications. Losing people and losing fights, it’s all part of the job but… Honestly, I don’t know why. Maybe I just like the idea of not being alone, of not being the only one.”
You turned back to face him and saw he hadn’t looked away.
“It’d be nice to not be the only one with fangs, either.” You smiled, flashing your pointed teeth.
“You never told me why you’re wet.” He commented after a brief moment of silence.
“Oh.” You laughed nervously. “Funny story.”
You heard the muttered complaints come down the hall at the same time the tingle of another spider person hit your skin. Your eyes went wide when Lyla popped up in front of you, glaring at you with tightly crossed arms. You offered an innocent smile with hands up in surrender.
“Y/N!” Pavitr yelled with a wide grin as he entered the room, Hobie sulking behind him. The boy turned and began patting his friend’s shoulder excitedly. “It worked!”
“What worked?” Miguel turned to you.
“Those two-“ Lyla said angrily as she appeared in front of Miguel and pointed at the two spidermen. “-set of a fire alarm in the training center.”
“And that was your idea?” He looked to you again.
“Nah, mate.” Hobie answered casually. “Was all me.”
“You?” He shouted and then wiped a hand down his face. “I don’t- I can’t deal with you right now. Both of you, go help mop up and dry the training center. Just- Get out of my sight.”
Hobie offered you a salute before sauntering out, Pavitr quick on his heels. You smiled to yourself before you hopped off the platform, shooting a quick web to help control your descent.
“Where are you going?” Miguel called after you, causing your stride to pause. You spun to face him with a playful smile.
“To help clean up.. They did it so I could talk to you, after all.” You shrugged.
“Come back here when you’re done.” He tossed a device your way, the same device the other spiders had around their wrists.
“Gonna miss me already?” You teased as you fit it to your wrist, replacing the temporary band you were given.
“Always, cariño.”
You realized you hadn’t found out anything in regards to who you looked like from Miguel’s past, but with the confirmation that you’d come back, you figured you’d find out in time.
#miguel o'hara#miguel o’hara fanfiction#miguel o’hara fic#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o’hara x you#spiderman fanfic#spiderman 2099#2099 x reader#spiderman 2099 fic#across the spiderverse#smatsv#across the spiderverse fic#spiderverse fic#spiderverse x reader
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𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹆₊ 概要 ‧₊˚ hcs with ghostface!choso in an arranged marriage + mini scenario attached.
␥ tags. modern/horror AU, possible nsfw, female anatomy, smoking, blood, threatening. choso carries a knife as a comfort item. wc, 1.37K. dark mode recommended.
␥ note. so i combined my previous idea with a new one. i’ll eventually break them up so they’ll be two separate things. thank you @hwoarangs-gf for helping :D
﹅˚ ⸝⸝ 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎 ‧₊˚
your husband isn’t the sweetest guy around. to you or the people in public
he emphasizes that you’re only his and that since the two of you are bound together, there’s no backing out
he doesn’t talk a lot so when he does, his deep, soothing voice terrifies you and he laughs at you when you look like you’re about to shit yourself
very protective of you even though he seems pretty mean
tags. mean!choso, ghostface, arranged marriage
you couldn't exactly place your finger on how you got yourself into this situation. your wedding night was amazing and terrible at the same time. though, you weren't expecting to be marrying an infamous killer.
as your married life progresses, you start to notice your husband's behavior more closely. you realize that he can be quite rude to you and others without showing any remorse. it's especially noticeable when you go out in public together. he seems to be on high alert, constantly scanning the area and shooting hard glares at any man who shows even the slightest interest in you. at first, you find his possessiveness endearing, but as time goes on, it becomes suffocating. you feel like you're being watched all the time, and it's exhausting. eventually, it all comes crashing down, and you start to see his behavior in a different light.
"if he looked at you one more time, i swear i was gonna kill him." you hear choso growl under his breath, his grip tightening on your wrist as he hauls you out of the mall. the menacing tone of your husband's voice is unmistakable, sending a shiver down your spine. you could feel the tension radiating off of him, his anger palpable.
choso's possessiveness is on full display, and you know better than to question him in moments like these. as the both of you exit the mall, you can't help but wonder if you'll understand the man you were married to. the man who is both your protector and captor, all in one.
as you walked out of the mall, you couldn't help but notice how possessive choso was being. his behavior was a clear indication that he did not want anyone else to come near you, and you knew better than to challenge him during such moments. his grip on your hand was tight, and you could feel him pulling you closer to him as if he was trying to shield you from the world.
despite being married to him, you couldn't help but wonder if you would ever understand choso. he was a complex man- your protector and captor all at once. you knew he loved you deeply, but his overprotective nature made you feel suffocated at times. you wondered if there was a way to make him understand that you needed your freedom too.
as you walked beside him, lost in thought, you couldn't help but wonder if you would ever find a way to strike a balance in your relationship.
as you step through the front door of your home, choso immediately locks it behind you, securing the deadbolt with an audible click. the tension that's been building throughout the day hangs heavy in the air, making the silence between you both almost unbearable. choso drops your hand, stalking off to the living room without a word.
you stood there for a moment, hesitant, before following him. when you enter the room, you find choso staring out the window, his posture rigid and his expression unreadable.
after a long pause, you finally ask choso, "what did I do wrong?" your tone is slightly irritated and confused, as you try to understand why he appears so distant and cold. choso slowly turns to face you, his eyes fixed on yours. the air between you two is heavy as you wait for his response, wondering what could have caused this sudden change in his behavior.
"you didn't do anything wrong." he says, his voice low and emotionless. "but you need to understand that you're mine. no one else's. and i'll do whatever it takes to protect what's mine." his words are chilling, but there's something in his tone that makes your heart twist- a hint of vulnerability, a glimmer of the man he might be underneath the hardened exterior.
you take a deep breath, mustering up the courage to speak. "i'm yours, choso. but i'm not a possession. i'm your wife." your words hang in the air between the two of you, the silence deafening.
the tension between you remains, but choso's expression softens slightly, as if he's contemplating your words. he looks away, the silence stretching on for what feels like an eternity. finally, he speaks, his voice softer than before. "you're right," he trails off, unable to finish the sentence. his vulnerability is unexpected, and it takes you by surprise. you hesitate, unsure of how to respond, but you could feel your own walls lowering, the slightest bit of empathy creeping in.
the dynamic between you and choso is complicated, nuanced, and layered. it's clear that choso's possessiveness stems from something but you're not sure exactly what that source may be. after the confrontation, choso suddenly stalks off to his study, leaving you alone in the living room.
choso is deep in thought, poring over old books in his study when he hears a soft knock on the door. before he can respond, the door creaks open and you peer your head in, a playful smile dancing on your lips. "i know you're busy," you say, your voice light and teasing, "but i thought you might need a little bit of a distraction."
you enter the room, twirling a loose lock of hair around your finger. you knew what you were doing. choso's brow furrows, unsure of how to react to this unexpected change in your demeanor.
as he asks, "what are you doing?", his voice sounds tense and brusque. however, your smile only grows wider in response, indicating that you are either unfazed by his tone or perhaps even delighted by his attention.
"just trying to lighten up the mood a little," you say, taking a step closer to him. "don't you think we could both use a little fun?"
just as you step closer, your playful expression falters as you spot the ominous items on choso's desk- a large knife gleaming in the dim light, its blade stained with what appears to be blood, and the haunting ghostface mask, its empty gaze staring back at you.
you feel a bit of fear seeping into your veins, replacing the lightheartedness from moments ago. "what's this?" you ask, your voice filled with curiosity now as you point to the objects.
choso's demeanor shifts, his gaze turning icy. "it's none of your business." he snaps, quickly covering the knife and mask with a stack of papers. "you shouldn't have come in here in the first place."
he rises up from his chair, his towering figure casting a shadow over you. "you saw too much." he says, a menacing edge to his voice. your eyes widen at the gravity of the situation. you stand there pleading for your life but choso's expression remains cold, his eyes fixed on yours. "i'm sorry, but i can't take the risk of you telling anyone."
choso takes a step towards you, his intentions clear. you let out a blood-curdling scream as you dart toward the door. your husband lunges after you, his knife glinting in the dim light.
your eyes snap open when you hear a familiar voice calling your name. quickly, your head shoots up from the man's lap you had been lying on. your eyes travel over to the tv when you notice that the classic slasher movie, "scream", just ended. only the credits are being shown on the screen.
as you sit up, choso looks at you with concern. "you okay? you look stressed and you were mumbling in your sleep," he says, his voice softer than usual. you quickly compose yourself, hoping to hide your unease.
"i'm fine, just a weird dream, you know?" you reply, trying to keep your voice steady. choso studies you for a moment, his expression just as unreadable as it was in your dream. "do you wanna talk about it?" he queries. you swiftly shake your head, not wanting to reveal anything.
"no, it's okay. really."
choso seems to accept your answer, though there's a hint of disappointment in his eyes. "alright," he says, "but know that i'm always here if you need me.'
he smiles softly, but you feel uneasy as your stomach starts to churn. the smile seems menacing, and you nod slowly to acknowledge him.
⠀© vmpiires | like, reblog & follow.
#𝐾𝑂𝑇𝐴 𝑊𝑅𝐼𝑇𝐸𝑆 書く#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#anime#choso kamo#jujutsu kaisen choso#jjk x reader#jjk choso#choso x reader#choso x black!reader#choso headcanons#ghostface#ghostface!choso#arranged marriage#jjk x you#jujutsu choso#jujustsu kaisen x reader#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing
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Hi there! would it be ok if I requested a self aware tingyun who sees she's in a game when she "died" only to continue living, going from world to world farming for materials. and then she starts trying to meet the face on the other side of the screen?
No…………………okay fine.
Notes: Cult like behavior/religious topics.
———
“Who….WHAT are you…?!”
The first words tingyun said when she saw your face for the first time. She was confused even scared at the sight of you…but also mesmerized.
She had never seen a person with such a figure. The way she heard you say here name when you watched her snap her neck…it felt addicting.
Suddenly, when she blinked, she found herself…alive again!? Why? How!? But most of all… she didn’t feel controlled. Phantylia had seemed to leave her alone…and she felt…peaceful.
It was then tingyun realized, what and who you were. It was so simple yet complex. So obvious yet no one knew. You. Are. God.
She goes into hiding, as much as it pains her to not go back to yukong she can’t. She WONT. She needs to find out everything about you. No matter what.
She leaves the luofu and goes to different planets, ACTUALLY managing to find ancient scrolls about some god. You. Finding out how you like certain materials to ‘upgrade’ your followers.
You also seem to have an obsession with ‘stellar jades’ Crystals that are formed from phase zero ice and destroyed stars. She goes out and manages to find the materials you seek and those jades.
Once she obtained the items, she goes to an alter in a long forgotten, abandoned, yet somehow still beautiful planet. She places the materials onto an offering table, watching them disappear into a higher dimension.
“HOLY SHIT!! 12,880 Stellar Jades!!? How the fuck—!!”
She heard your voice boom in excitement, she felt prideful, egotistical, euphoric even. To hear you scream in pure pleasure from seeing those jades.
She continued to do this, like her life’s purpose. For months on months until she heard you talking about a planet called penacony. Apparently you won’t be able to..Endure her?
No. No that won’t do! She wants—no. She NEEDS to see you!! She tries everything, luckily she’s on your team as a busted support.
She tries to break through some strange barrier that restricts her ability to speak freely. So, whenever she’s not the character you chose to lead (like that character you chose to walk around the open areas) she sends messages to you.
Not ones that scare you or make you uncomfortable. No no no, she wouldn’t dream of such a thing. She simply text you things like ‘you ever feel controlled? Or maybe there’s a higher being that summons us? I’d LOVE to met such a god”
“Would you like some stellar jades? All I need is your permission. Let me see your gorgeous face~”
“I saw you one time, I want to see you again!!! I NEED TO SEE YOU AGAIN!! LET. ME. SEE. YOU!!!!”
#male reader#honkai star rail#hsr#tingyun#sahsrau#self aware honkai star rail#yandere#self aware tingyun
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Why Poison Ivy likes Dick Grayson out of the other Robins
Robin!Dick (chipper): Hi, Ivy!
Poison Ivy (wary, crossing her arms): Hey, kid. Wow, you really decided that babysitting and being a 'hero' was the best idea.
Ivy shot an annoyed glare at Batman, who remained stoically silent. Robin!Dick gazed at a giant rose flytrap, already inching closer to poke it.
Ivy (warningly): Stand away from the giant rose!
Robin!Dick stepped back, his eyes wide with fascination.
Robin!Dick: Can I—
Batman (pointing firmly to another part of the botanical area): I will take you home.
Robin!Dick pouted, shoulders slumping as he walked away, mumbling.
Ivy (smirking): He’s adorable. If I didn’t hate people, I’d keep him. Okay, let’s start. You want me to stop my mission to protect Mother Earth, and you think that's wrong. Please, continue being wrong.
Ivy gracefully took a seat on her flower chair, crossing her legs with a smug smile.
Batman (sternly): I shouldn’t have to explain how your mission to save the Earth doesn’t benefit people. It’s destructive.
Ivy (raising an eyebrow): Why? Because some people might die? A few dead bodies are worth it to save the planet.
Robin!Dick (mid-stop from touching a different dangerous plant): What?! You’re killing people to do this?
Ivy (matter-of-factly): Yes… A few dead bodies are worth—why does his face look sad?
Robin!Dick (trying not to cry, voice wavering): That’s so mean.
Batman (glaring at Ivy): You’ve upset him. Shame on you.
Ivy (indignant, standing tall): Last I checked, the Earth is dying, and I’m just being honest with the kid! If you actually used critical thinking, you’d realize I’m not destroying the Earth—big corporations are! They’re pumping out microplastics, pouring random crap into lakes—Bliss… JUST BLISS—are destroying the freaking planet! They’re screwing her like she’s a two-dollar hooker! I stopped eating chocolate bars from Bliss's company after the founder said water shouldn’t be given to everybody!
Robin!Dick (astonished, eyes wide): Did he actually say that?
Ivy (explaining passionately): He implied water shouldn’t have free access to the public because Bliss is the biggest proprietor of bottled water. That’s unforgivable! So whatever you’re about to say, Batman, I don’t want to hear it! They’re destroying ecosystems, hunting endangered species, killing crops—
Robin!Dick (interrupting, stepping closer): Hold up, that’s all she’s trying to fix?
Robin!Dick glanced at Batman expectantly, waiting for his response.
Batman (turning to Robin, tone serious): She’s not doing it in a logical way.
Robin!Dick (defiantly): She’s a green woman who can control plants! Does she look like she wants to use our logic? No offense, Ivy.
Ivy (grinning): You’re fine. I love my body.
Robin!Dick (glancing between them, confused): She can talk to plants, too! She must feel pain when they feel pain. Are you just going to ignore that?
Batman (frustrated): I never said I was.
Ivy (smirking): Sure feels like it every time we talk.
Robin!Dick (enthusiastically): Why don’t we help her, Batman? Has she asked for your help?
Batman (sheepish, avoiding eye contact): Um… it’s been brought up in the past.
Robin!Dick (jumping up and down, angry): Then why haven’t you helped her?
Ivy (pleasantly surprised): Yeah, Batman, that’s so mean.
Batman (defending his stance): She's a criminal and will let people die for the cause.
Robin!Dick (shrugging): Well, if it's that Bliss guy, I don’t… I don’t necessarily blame her if he dies.
Ivy (smiling): Huh... thank you.
Robin!Dick (sincere): You’re welcome.
Batman (frustrated): All right, you’re young, so you don’t understand this is a complex situation.
Robin!Dick (bringing up a correct point): Yeah, so is being a vigilante over a cop, but that’s what you do! I’ve seen you beat the ever-loving shit out of a lot of bad guys committing actual crimes.
Batman (scolding): Language.
Robin!Dick: The context needed the word! I love you, Batman, I do, but let’s be real—you steal police information and beat up thugs. You haven’t paid the Commissioner back for the fire hydrant incident. You break a lot of laws! You say you’re doing it to save lives; so is she! Most are plant lives, but I get it. We’d be arrested too, but we’re lucky; she’s not… it’s not right.
Ivy (sincere, smiling warmly): Thanks again, kid.
Robin!Dick (sweetly): You’re welcome again.
Batman (confused at how he's being criticized): What the… what the heck is happening?
Robin!Dick (swaying back and forth): I'm just saying, in any other city, we’d be going to prison. Well, you would be; I’d be tossed into an orphanage, and that… that’s not fun.
Ivy (nodding): A lot of kids in the system have been abused. He’s got a point.
Batman (annoyed, running a hand through his hair): Why are you arguing with me, Robin?
Robin!Dick (leaning in, determined): Because dang it, she might have a point! We can help her to a degree… In fact, isn’t the building we’re in the one being sued for what they did to a lake? All those ducks died.
Ivy (adding, voice low): Nothing can grow there for decades.
Robin!Dick: Yeah, the ecosystem is destroyed there.
Ivy (pridefully): That’s why I picked this building to invade first. It’s not being used for anything productive. I’m thinking of making it a plant sanctuary.
Robin!Dick (looking around, nodding enthusiastically): Yeah… yeah… that sounds like a good idea.
Ivy (smirking at Batman): You must’ve gotten this level of kindness and understanding from someone else. I like you. Batman, keep him around; he's adorable and smart.
Robin!Dick (cupping his cheeks, blushing): Aww, thank you.
Batman (raising his voice, annoyed): Stop trying to turn him to the dark side! And why are you ganging up on me?
Robin and Ivy (in unison): Because you know it’s wrong and are being stubborn!
Batman (sighing, rubbing his temples): Okay, she’s not my child, but you are. Don’t yell at me.
Robin!Dick (serious): Hm… okay, I'm sorry, but you told me you became Batman because the system is flawed and sometimes matters need to be taken into your hands? Where the law and our governments can’t fix the issue, it takes a civilian to step in and make things right. How is she different?
Ivy (smirking, folding her arms): Yeah, yeah, how am I different? Is it because I’m green? Racist!
Batman (exasperated): That doesn’t make any sense; you’re white!
Robin!Dick (pointing his index finger for emphasis): She’s green now.
Ivy (leaning forward, playful): Robin, was it? Here, take a rose.
Ivy used her powers to hand the young hero a rose.
Robin (smiling widely and taking the rose): Aww, thank you.
Batman groaned, then picked up Robin like a bag and started walking away. Robin giggled as he was being carried.
Batman (growling): Give me a minute; I have to talk to him in private!
Ivy (calling out, amused): Go easy on him, and let that kid be a free thinker. He's smart; he knows what he’s talking about.
Robin!Dick (waving): Thank you, Ivy.
Ten minutes after the two argued, Batman came to a compromise with his son and Ivy. He understood that Dick would absolutely not mind sabotaging factories or causing a fire with a supervillain to protect the planet. All he needed was a good reason.
Batman (driving them home in the Batmobile, voice calm): Could you not defend the actions of the bad guy in front of me next time?
Robin!Dick (munching on McDonald's fries): Don’t take me to one who has a point, and you can’t be mad at me. I did a good thing.
Batman (with a resigned sigh): I hate that you’re technically right. Give me a fry at least.
Robin!Dick passed his father a French fry while finishing off the ones he already had, an infectious smile plastered across his face.
Inspired by this post
#batman#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batman fluff#a young robin acting like this and knowing his first time father will hesitate scolding is perfect#eldest child syndrome#batfamily funny#you can't say no to his cute face#the robins#batman and robin#batman & robin#he’s so feral it’s so funny (and he does have a point)#batfamily#batfamily shenanigans#batfamily fluff#flash fiction#batfamily comedy#batfamily headcanons#script fic#dc fanfiction#batfamily fanfiction#batfamily wholesome#batfamily adventures#wayne family adventures#microfiction#writers on ao3#canon divergence#batfamily feels#no beta we die like jason todd
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𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒
𝐎𝐍𝐄 - 𝐒𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤!
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐟, 𝐘/𝐧 𝐘/𝐥/𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐡𝐮𝐦, 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞!
𝐰𝐜 - 1.4𝐤 (𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐡𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟!)
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 - 𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝! 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 (𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲!), 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲, 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐳𝐢, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥!
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - 𝐢 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐝𝐝 𝐢 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬!
𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 - 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - @alwaysclassyeagle (𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰!)
-
real life! december 10th, 2023. 8:23pm EST.
"I'm gonna fucking throw up. I can't do it."
You earned a slap on the back of the head after the loud proclamation. You turned to your best friend with wide eyes, rubbing the spot she made contact with.
"No you're not. And yes you can! Everyone's gonna go ballistic, they miss you babe!"
You stared down at your phone, gazing at the text messages between you and your manager, she'd just given you the go ahead to post the announcement for your new album.
In reality, you knew they did miss you, but you were so nervous. Your new album was so special to you, and you wanted it to be recieved well. Every song was so complex and unique to you. It was the first album you would release since the worst breakup of your life. After you'd finally broken up with Mat, all you wanted to do was crawl into a hole and not talk to anyone for a year. Honestly, that's kind of what you did.
"I know. I just want everyone to love it like I do."
"They will, I promise. Everyone's gonna freak! Now, I have an idea."
"What?"
"After you post, we leave our phones down here and while we go get ready, and go to that bar you love!"
You smiled, that sounded fun. You opened Instagram, sliding to create a post. After choosing the photo of the new album cover, you typed out a caption.
"Okay, we can do that! That'll take my mind off of this. Now I just need to post, shit, I'm nervous."
You looked over and your best friend just smiled and nodding towards your phone. You sighed, biting your lip before hitting the post button. You refreshed your profile to make sure it posted before shutting your phone off, dropping it next to you on the couch.
Your best friend jumped up, grabbing your hands and pulling you to stand.
"Let's go, sweetheart. We're gonna go get you happy and tipsy."
You followed her upstairs and into your bedroom, standing at the door of your closet while she grabbed outfits to offer you. You let her dress you up like a little doll. She put you in a little black dress with a white bow under the bust. She added black boots and your outfit was complete. You both fixed up your hair and makeup before putting together your going out bags.
Once you were downstairs all you did was throw your phone into your little purse, not caring to check any of the notifications you were receiving. You climbed into her Black SUV before she pulled out of your driveway, starting to the city. You lived in a few different places, having two homes and an apartment in three different cities. Currently, you were staying in your house in New York, in a more suburban and residential area farther from the city.
You also had a house in Palm Springs and an apartment in Seattle, since that's where lots of your family currently was. The drive to the bar was about 40 minutes, all spent singing and dancing with your phone connected to CarPlay. You guys parked in a large parking garage before heading down the street into the bar. You walked quickly to get away from the cold, shivering beneath your large leather jacket.
The bar was always less crowded than most, since it was higher end, and you knew some of the staff. Your face lit up as you saw your favorite bartender wiping down glasses as you sat at the bar.
"Hi lady!"
Her head snapped up, a smile gracing her face while she greeted you.
"Aw hi! Oh my gosh, girl. I saw your announcement! You don't know how excited I am!"
Your heart warmed. This being the first reaction you heard to your announcement was definitely sweet.
"Stop, thank you so much! I've definitely been really nervous about it. I haven't even checked my phone since I posted it."
"Well you are going crazy viral, everyone is freaking out!"
You best friend gave you a knowing look, she had told you so. You blushed, thinking about your fans loving the new album. You got your drinks and went to sit at an empty booth in the back of the bar, a Cosmopolitan and a lemonade, since your best friend was designated driver. There were only a couple other groups here, around 10 other people.
After a bit, you two took a trip to the restroom. You took your jacket off while you best friend took photos of you in the mirror to post later.
After around two hours, you exited the bar, the time nearing midnight. You were astounded when you saw flashes of light blinding you as you began the walk to the garage. Paparazzi. Thankfully, you were in New York, and knew the guys.
"Oh, hi guys! What's up?"
"Hey Y/n! What's up with us? What's up with you?! Everyone saw the announcement earlier tonight! Personally, I can't wait!"
You smile brightly, New York paparazzi weren't like Los Angeles paparazzi. These were the guys you knew through Taylor, they were respectful and not pushy.
"Thank you so much! I'm so excited! I literally have not looked at my notifications since posting it, I was too nervous!"
"Can you tell us what the album's gonna be about? Maybe a little insight?"
"Well, the songs are all pretty different from each other, honestly. Some are more personal than others. But the genre of music isn't too steady through on this album, I jumped around a bit!“
They nodded, laughing along with you. You answered a few more questions and took a few more pictures before they let you go. You felt happiness settle into your stomach when you got comfortable in the car.
It wasn't until after you got home, and got ready for bed that you started looking through your new notifications. Many texts from friends congratulating you, news that you were trending on Twitter, and that you post had 6 million likes in five hours.
Your manager had also texted you that sometime soon you should post the back cover, especially since the first post was so well received.
First you posted the photo from the bar to your story before going to post the back cover, some how more nervous than before. The back cover had the track list on it, it would reveal the whole album. Scary.
"Just post it! I'm not going through this with you again."
Your best friend gave you a look, one that heavily reminded you of her mother, with a hand on her hip before she climbed into your bed next to you. You nodded, sighing as you hit the post button.
The two of you laid close and talked quietly, giggling and shushing each other like little girls scared their moms were going to come in and tell them to go to sleep.
Eventually you did fall asleep, the do not disturb setting stopping your phone from buzzing off the table.
-
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Waezi2′s thoughts on “Beast Complex” chapter 24.
Paru is back at it again!
Meet South the Iguana.
South is a twenty-nine year old lizard. Saying he is an alcoholic might be an exaggeration... but he very much have an alcohol problem. Having sensitive skin and living in a very warm area, South needs to stay hydrated, but he choose to mainly drink beer instead of water. Partly because of how it affects his skin but also o make it easier for him to not think about his problems.
But then his excessive drinking is cock-blocked by a penguin inside the beer fridge... Still not the weirdest thing I ever wrote.
Yeah, a baby penguin somehow ended up in the store where South gets his favorite brand of beer. To stay cool in the very warm area South lives in, the little guy is now inside the beer fridge and refuse to leave. Begrudgingly, South takes the little penguin to his small apartment so the shop can stock up on beer again.
Having a guest in his home for the first time in ages, South realize that his place is not just dirty, it is rather empty. He sleeps on a mattress, has a fridge for his beer and food and a microwave oven for his meals. His home is about as pathetic as he is.
As South thinks about how his life is kind of a fart, we learn something... shocking about this iguana.
Something that you have never seen before in Beastars OR in Beast Complex. Something so odd that you might find it revolting. It will make you wonder if Paru was even more unhinged than she normally is while making this comic!
You see, South...
... was in a relationship with a female WHO IS THE SAME SPECIES AS HIM!
Trust me, dear reader. I'm as shocked as you are! A Beast Complex character who was NOT dating an animal completely different from them?!
What madness is this?!
Okay, seriously speaking.
We get some good ol' Paru symbolism as we see that South's life has for a while revolved around his fridge. Or rather, what is inside it. It got out of hand to the point that his (same-species?!?!?) girlfriend dumped him and his boss feeling so sorry for him that he makes him take a break instead of downright firing him.
So South drinks when he gets anxious. But his increasing drinking makes him more anxious, which results in him drinking even more, making him more anxious and so on. As he thinks about his boss and ex, he once again gets "thirsty" and practically tears his fridge oepn.
South would probably end up as a drunken waist... if not for his new "roommate."
See, the thing about depression is that you often ends up alone, either because the people around you lose their patience or you choose to be alone. And when you are alone with a minimum of interaction with the real world, you stop caring about the small things like cleaning your home, a proper diet and your economy.
Best thing to do is actually to be useful somehow. Like doing voluntary work or getting a pet. Or in this case, a penguin in your fridge. If you are of use for someone else, you feel a little better about yourself.
And that's what South is to the baby penguin he has named Sam(a reference to the Japanese word for "cold"). The two of them can't really talk since Sam is a sea animal and has a entirely different language.
Whenever South has his panic attacks and go for a beer, he is instead met by the fluffy little bird in the fridge. So South has to clean the fridge for penguin poop and also spend extra hours in his part-time job since he spends more money on electricity because of Sam being inside the fridge. As the days pass, South finds himself acting like, well... a functional adult.
One day, South gets a reason to panic again as he realize that Sam is losing his white coat and looks skinny instead of fluffy.
If you know a thing or two about penguins, then you will know that there is nothing to worry about. But South knows jack shit about these birds, so he rush him to a hospital on his bicycle.
On their way, they pass the ocean... and we get this majestic moment.
There was nothing to worry about, Sam is just growing up and losing his fluff, finally ready to leave his nest and get in the ocean.
A pair of dolphins are luckily near and South has managed to learn to speak a little sea language so he can ask the dolphins to escort the young penguin to Antarctica.
Despite Sam having left his apartment, South still have a little of Sam in his fridge as the penguin sends him letters on pieces of ice.
So South's life still revolves around his fridge so to say, just in a much healthier way.
This was such a nice tale about a guy rebuilding his life by having to be dependent for someone else.
... Even if South is a freak, dating a fellow iguana. BE A FURRY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, SOUTH!
I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.
#beast complex#beastars#south#south the iguana#sam#sam the penguin#sam the king penguin#itagaki paru#paru itagaki#paru
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The Otherworlds merging... or is it something else? (spoilers for Silent Hill 2!)
Remember when James said this line to Eddie? Kinda ironic, considering the scene below...
Remember what he did just before he killed Mary? He tucked her in bed, kissed her goodnight (on the forehead), and then stared into her eyes for a good moment... turned his eyes away, then back again to hers, and he snapped immediately after.
"You can't just kill someone cause of the way they looked at you..."
"You see it too? For me, it's always like this"
Why is James able to feel the heat of Angela's Otherworld and the coldness of Eddie's? Why is he fighting Angela's monster? Why does Angela mistake him for her mother?
I don't think their Otherworlds are merging just because they have spend a lot of time with each other (they really didn't, it was like three meetings each in the original). They definitely couldn't have bonded to the point that James can understand Angela's pain and see her trauma personified.
Nobody can understand another person's pain and suffering, we're all different people with different experiences. Understanding that is the first step towards showing true empathy for someone.
If Abstract Daddy/Ideal Father looks the way he looks because we see him through James's eyes and through his life experiences/trauma, then why is it also Angela's monster and why are we fighting it? Does it suggest that James and Angela share similar (but not the same, it can never be the same) experiences in this particular case? Does James have traumatic memories related to his own father, Frank Sunderland?
Of course James also just wants to help Angela, to save her. James seems to have a saviour complex, which might be the result of Mary's illness (he wanted to save her but couldn't, because the disease was untreatable and fatal, there was no way to cure Mary and he could only watch her dying. He failed her).
But there's another side to this, if we consider that Silent Hill is a reflection of character's own personal traumas and creatures might represent personal triggers...
"Even my mama said it. I deserved what happened"
"You fat, disgusting piece of shit! You make me sick!"
"Well, what are you looking at? Get the hell out of here!" / "I was so angry, I struck out at everyone I loved. Especially you"
Angela, Eddie and James. They all share one theme in common in those lines above: being on the receiving end of emotional/verbal abuse.
When we look at the design of James's monsters, they share something in common: emphasis on the mouth area. Lying Figures early design had a very distinguishable mouth, the final design instead sprays "vomit" on you, which is said to represent Mary lashing out verbally at James. Bubble Head Nurse has a red square covering her mouth, like to seal it shut. Flesh Lips is the boss that is a lump of flesh with detailed pair of lips. Abstract Daddy actually follows this design trope as well.
It's James's monster, it represents him suffocating Mary, the memory he repressed. The monster wouldn't look this way if it was Angela's. Abstract Daddy doesn't represent what you think it does! It would look completely different if we saw it through Angela's eyes and it would look most likely like her father, not two people having intercourse on a bed. In other words, it was never depicting intercourse. It's supposed to be surreal representation, not *literal*, and if you think it's intercourse then you're going for the most literal interpretation ever, not symbolic. The "James suffocating Mary" might not even be the final interpretation of it either.
Why did they all met in Silent Hill in the first place?
Angela wanted someone to save her but also wanted to find her mom, Eddie had enough of the abuse but was a coward, they don't seem to have much in common, besides this: they both experienced lifelong abuse, lasting ever since their childhood, and at least big part of it was emotional/verbal abuse. If the story in Silent Hill 2 is told through parallels, then it suggests Mary wasn't the first time James experienced abuse either.
It makes sense. That's the reason why he couldn't bring himself to visit Mary in the hospital. She lashed out at him, it triggered him, but he didn't understand why he's reacting like that, why he has such a hard time going back to visit her, why he starts to hate her. Finally, he succumbed to alcohol to deal with the anxiety of resurfacing past trauma. Eddie btw did a similar thing, but he was overeating instead to deal with his triggers. Food calmed him down, even though it also made him gain weight and caused the bullying to intensify (most likely).
James forgot what he did to Mary. He shows signs of dissociating in many moments of the game (especially in the remake, like when he first cries after Maria died and then leaves her behind emotionlessly). His behaviour fits behaviour of someone used to being verbally abused as well: his quiet withdrawn behaviour, him shutting up immediately after someone lashes out at him (for example when Eddie screamed at him), never defending himself (Angela calling him names and he was just standing there quietly). James seems to remind Angela of her mother. In a family with history of abuse it rarely affects only one person. Her father was probably abusive towards the mother as well and if he lashed out at her often, she was probably a very withdrawn person, never defending herself, speaking in low quiet voice etc. This might be exactly the part which reminded Angela of her mother when she saw James, because that's how he always behaves as well.
He thought Mary died three years ago, because that's when Mary's disease started, and with it the verbal abuse as well. Maybe it wasn't even his first blackout experience either. When Laura locks him in the room, he has a really strong reaction, even begs her to let him out (despite not wanting to beg at first), and after Flesh Lips fight we have this weird sequence of staring at the ceilling, hallucinating Mary's voice, and James wakes up in a completely different place, doesn't know how he got out of that locked room. My guess is that was yet another of his dissociative blackouts.
You didn't want her around anymore. Admit it!
No...
You probably found someone else!
NO!
(this is literally the only moment in the game in which James assertively stands up for himself. Through the rest of the story he simply lets Maria, Laura and Eddie trashtalk him)
I wanted you out of the way. The truth is, I hated you *shakes head*. I wanted my life back.
If that's true...
Despite saying it so clearly before that he wouldn't want Mary out of his life and searching so desperately for her (I just want Mary back, I can't go on without you anymore), at the end he admits Angela was right... or was she? She didn't actually know him much. Mary, on the other hand, knew him probably the best in the world, and she claimed that what he said is not true. But if it's not true then why did James say that?
That's because he doesn't understand why he did what he did. He killed her most likely while experiencing a blackout or he snapped after reaching his breaking point, while triggered, and only later experienced a blackout. The only thing he remembers is the feelings he felt for Mary after she lashed out at him (hatred, helplessness, self-loathing), which weren't his feelings for Mary, but his reaction to the verbal abuse he experienced. But he couldn't seperate the past traumatic event from the trigger he was experiencing in the present. Vivid flashbacks and feeling like re-living a past trauma in the present moment are all signs of PTSD. As the result, a person might avoid meeting other people or situations that can even remotely remind them of their traumatic experience. Sounds like James avoiding to visit Mary in the hospital, to me. He of course didn't understand why he is behaving like that or why he feels so overwhelmed, so he ended up blaming himself and thought he is a bad partner as the result, as many people suffering from PTSD would, even though what they're going through isn't their fault.
I'm not saying that what James did was good (it definitely wasn't, and that's not the point I was trying to make at all). I'm just trying to point out that James shows signs of PTSD, just like Angela and Eddie do as well (is it a good depiction of PTSD? Definitely not perfect, but not too bad either. Could be better without the murder plotline). Silent Hill 2's story at the heart of it is actually a tragedy, not a murder story.
I wish we could know more about James and his past...
#silent hill 2#silent hill 2 remake#james sunderland#trauma#ptsd#angela orosco#eddie dombrowski#it's been sitting in my head for a while#my tumblr is One Piece only but I'm making an exception#Silent Hill 2 is my favourite game after all#major spoilers for the game duh!#the actual reason for what James did#parallels in the story
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Misconceptions | Osamu x Reader
-Osamu lives in the same area as you
-he has seen you look so CEO-ish early in the morning and he’s convinced you’re some super important business person
-he’s developed an innocent crush since you both always get coffee at the same convenience store, at the same exact time
-you were very punctual and so was he (it was good motivation to see your sweet face)
-when you would leave you would always turn left and he would right and that was that
-it’s nice to see you smile while holding the door open for him or when he does the same for you and he gets to hear your soft voice say ‘thank you’
-beyond that, he’s never talked to you, he feels like you’re from two completely different worlds so he’s content leaving things as they are
-one night, his usual delivery boy has only one order left but unbeknownst to Osamu, he’s also been on the verge of hurling his entire shift and throws up right before he can complete it
-Osamu sends him home because he refuses to not follow food safety guidelines (plus he also feels a little bad he was unaware that his employee had pushed himself so hard)
-since it was also for someone who lived in the same building as him, he really didn’t mind being the one to drop off this last order
-while packing up to leave his employee makes a cheeky remark, something along the lines of “Thanks for doing this, though we’ll be even after you see the babe it’s for.”
-Which Osamu completely disregards because there were a lot of beautiful women living at his complex (as once commented by Atsumu) so he wasn’t really all that excited about the prospect
-he was tired and he just wanted to go home and get enough sleep before he had to rush out the door in the morning to catch a glimpse of your face
-when he finds the apartment, two floors above his, he knocks and is getting ready to leave when the door swings open and he looks up to find you looking back at him
-except you don’t look anything like how you usually do
-you weren’t wearing your black blazer and matching skirt, both of which were clearly ironed with lots of care
-the white lace of the crisp white blouse you normally wore wasn’t peeking through the collar of your jacket, and your hair wasn’t pulled back into the neat half updo he had grown a bit fond of (how could you pull off something so simple so well?)
-instead, your hair was down and damp, your shirt wrinkled, and you were wearing athletic shorts so oversized they almost reached past your knees
-the smell of shampoo meant you weren’t wearing any make-up but you looked the same to him, the only real difference was the glasses perched on your nose
-he couldn’t tell if they were real or blue light but he didn’t care, you looked good
-you looked so good like this, so cute
-he had always thought you were attractive in a mature way, radiating confidence that made head turns everywhere you went
-your tight clothes did you justice, and your ‘I have my shit together’ attitude was undeniably magnetic
-but the way you looked now, so small and tired, clearly irritated from hunger but ready for bed was what made the little crush he had on you turn into a full-blown ‘like’
-Osamu liked seeing you like this, maybe even more than he did seeing you be a professional
-before he could continue to gawk any longer you took the food from his hands and stared at him for a moment, squinting your eyes before widening them in some sort of horrible realization
-“Wha- where’s the usual guy?” You asked, blushing in a way that had Osamu feeling a mix of confused and a little bit annoyed
-“You got the food…so does it matter?” Even if you were cute, he wasn’t about to pour his feelings out to someone who was still a complete stranger, and currently, a seemingly unsatisfied customer
-you scrunched your nose at his response, huffing slightly and seemingly contemplating for a moment before speaking again
-“do..do you not recognize me?” You asked hopefully, eyes looking up at him past the glasses and making his heart twirl as he held back the smile that tugged at his lips
-“Convenience store.” He replied, keeping it short but only because he couldn’t handle the implications of the entire interaction
-did you also think of him beyond just seeing him once in the morning?
-your eyes lit up at the acknowledgment before offering him a smile he hadn’t seen before, one that was more carefree now that it was just you two alone and in private
-“I had no idea you worked here.” You spoke, pointing your hand towards the bag of food he was still holding while offering him friendly conversation
-“And I had no idea you were a customer.” Osamu said while handing you the bag, deciding to use the chance to show off a bit and maybe even get you to come visit in person
-“How long have you been working there?” You questioned, eyes glazed with genuine curiosity that made his heart curl
-“Well, I kinda own it so, since I opened it?” He replied, feeling nervous and now stupid for the way he had explained himself. There goes his opportunity to show off
-despite his awkwardness, you laughed at his stupid joke and he felt himself bubble with pride, he needed to hear more of that
-he suddenly thought back to what his employee had said about you being a ‘babe’ and felt himself get annoyed, he’d definitely have to convince you to start coming in person
-“you’re funny and the owner of your own business? Man, you’re doing way better than I am.” You admitted, the nervous atmosphere settling into a more comfortable one
-at your words Osamu frowned, were you not some up and coming CEO yourself?
-you looked at him, confused as Osamu suddenly realized he had asked that out-loud
-you both stared at each other as a couple beats of silence passed before you suddenly broke out into laughter again like he had just said the funniest thing in the world
-he should’ve been more annoyed given that you were practically laughing in his face but he was intrigued more than anything else
-“CEO would be awesome but I’m nothing more than an intern at the moment.” You admitted after calming down, still letting out a few giggles as your cheeks were now flushed from having laughed so hard
-Osamu thought you couldn’t look more perfect than you do now, face rosy from something he said and pretty eyes focused solely on him
-so you weren’t some fancy CEO, that was a relief but he also knew somehow in his gut you wouldn’t stay an intern for long
-he didn’t know a lot about you past admiring you for always being on top of it and on time, unknowingly inspiring him to do the same
-but now he wanted to get to know you more than anything, to see you become the boss you were clearly meant to
-“well, just know when the time comes you’re already the perfect, pretty picture of a CEO.” Osamu complimented, somehow confident in your abilities despite your status as strangers
-at his compliment your blush deepened, the sweet tone and sincerity in his words causing a rosy red to stick to your cheeks
-the word pretty rang out in your mind as you unconsciously went to tuck a piece of damp hair behind your ear, something that made Osamu’s lips finally twitch into a smile
-to know and see that he had an any sort affect on you, like you had on him all these months made it hard to hide the giddiness he felt
-he really had to get to know you, he had been so wrong about you this entire time and he needed to get it right, to get to know you fully
-“Jeez, you’re not supposed to flirt with customers y’know?” You joke, voice light as you poke at his chest playfully
-your eyebrows raise ever so slightly as you feel all the muscle underneath the simple black t-shirt and you give him a shy glance
-“I promise I’ll try and come by in-person. But only if you promise me one thing in return.” You speak, finger unmoving from his chest as your eyes remained fixated on his own
-he swallowed thickly before responding with a small ‘hm?’
-“Same time tomorrow?” You asked, referring to your daily morning routine
-Osamu felt himself practically soar at those words, even after having seen you almost daily this time- this time you’d both know that you were each there hoping to find the other
-“you know I’ll be there.”
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#osamu x reader#miya osamu#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu osamu#osamu miya#hq x reader#hq fluff#haikyuu!!#this has been sitting in my drafts for a few days#had to show some love for the other miya <3#niceutossu
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