#this rant came because my how to train your dragon interest came back to me

[vlagg22]

Ngl but I do wish the girls (and the other mouse characters in the thea stilton series) have more mouse/rat appearances and behaviors to them you know? Like, I feel like they could just change them into humans and nothing will change at all in the story lol. They don't need to get too deep with the mouse lore and all that stuff. Just give them little quirks that define them as mouses. Like for example, when they feel certain emotions, they wag or flick their tails. Or maybe the fact they have more acute sense of smell towards something idk

Also while on topic, PLEASEE bring their tails back. One thing I don't like about the newer books is that their tails are basically nonexistent. And I don't know man but it feels wrong seeing them without it. I don't care what's the excuses just bring them back please -_-

[fulltimemoaner]

Just something cute like Childe and Zhongli are crushing on each other but they think the other doesn't share their feelings so both of them are being dumd and trying very hard to hide their feelings. Meanwhile, everyone knows they're in love with each other.

Zhongli knows he is being irrational, there is nothing in the world that could possibly bind an adeptus and a human together, nothing short of disaster and broken hearts, anyways. Of course, there are adepti that could argue with his stance, such as the law consultant Yanfei, who is the very product of such a connection. However, the vast difference between a mere law consultant an ex archon is omnipresent in his mind, and so is the fact that he is more than five thousand years older than a certain troublemaker. When he sips his painstakingly prepared tea, his face sours, the leaves leaving a bitter tinge on his tongue, over-boiled and somewhat stale. There went six hours of wasted kitchen labour, all due to his own knack for overthinking and contemplating. He had all the time in the world, after all, to drown in his own musings, even if Hu Tao was still yelling at him to do his duties and other earthly errands. No, Zhongli didn’t look down on those, quite the opposite. He had taken to loving the simple life of the human Zhongli, without the hassles of being Morax. Humanity, however, came with its cons, such as attraction and irrationality. Again, it wasn’t like he hadn’t loved as an Adeptus, madly so, perhaps, but this wasn’t the time for him to be arguing with himself. He simply had to put his desires on a leash. He took another sip of bitter tea.

There was no way Ajax liked him back, after all. He was young, a few millennia so, (yes, he isn’t about to stop repeating that to himself) and strong, quick witted, humorous, loud, adventurous- Everything that Zhongli had lost in the past thousand years of being Morax. A heavy sigh leaves his lips and he leans his chin into the inside of his palm. In times like these, it’s hard not to miss Jueyun Karst and the company of his kind, it’s in times like these when he is filled with confusion and lack of understanding involving the humans he so greatly adores. He wonders if the loss of his Gnosis led to the loss of some of the divine, whether it brought him closer to the earthly beings, which was why he found his heart squeezing so hard at the thought of ginger hair and aquamarine eyes.

A loud thud shakes Zhongli out of his reverie, the sliding door of the Wangsheng Funeral parlour slamming open to reveal Hu Tao’s gleaming eyes, as well as a very handsome yet petrified Snezhnayan. “Zhongli!” The woman coos, her hand holding an iron grip on the Harbinger’s wrist. “Someone needs your assistance.”

“Tartaglia.” Zhongli clears his throat, easing into his front of apathy despite his hammering heartbeat.

“Ah, Mr. Zhongli.” Childe laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head in that telltale way that radiated tides of awkwardness that would put his elemental abilities to shame. “There is a death within the Fatui,” He’s lying. No one has died under his watch. “And we need to bury him, it’s too hot to transport him back to Snezhnaya as it is.” His stuttering voice is probably giving him out, but Hu Tao elbows his ribs so hard he almost gasps.

“Ah, what a tragedy!” The parlour owner throws a hand over her eyes. “Such honoured guests suffering a loss like that! Zhongli, this calls for your assistance. I am so busy and I’m afraid my knowledge in Snezhnayan burial customs is vastly limited, so feel free to take this on!” She gives Zhongli the most suspicious thumbs up known to mankind and sticks her tongue out, and just like she always comes and goes, she practically evaporates out of the room.

Childe is sweating. He is staring at Zhongli with wide eyes and a suspicious tingle in his stomach, a playback of Scaramouche’s words rolling in his brain like a jammed tape.

“Go short your stupid crush out. Don’t show your face in the Northern Bank until you are ready to act normal, fucking idiot. You’re slowing us down, and by the Tsaritsa, I’m not above ratting you out and having you demoted to an errand boy.”

Childe almost cringes at the memory of the aggression in the Sixth Harbinger’s voice. He is going to kill him. Childe Tartaglia Ajax is a massive coward, and he is about to be murdered by his superior because he has a crush on a six thousand year old adeptus that is too good for him and wouldn’t bat-

“How did they die?”

Childe’s brain is like a train about to derail. Zhongli is up now, boiling some tea that smells suspiciously much like Jasmine, just like Ajax prefers it. If he tries to do as much as think of a single thing, all he can do is visualise Zhongli’s golden eyes gleaming underneath the lanterns of that odd Liyuan festival that Childe did not exactly comprehend, be it for his lack of interest at the time, or his complete concentration on that rich voice that kept whispering tales to him about the lanterns and the dead and the local myths.

“There is no one dead.” Childe blurts out, now or never. To be frank, he is absolutely shitting it. This is harder than fighting in the Abyss, worse than getting his ass kicked repeatedly by Traveller and that flying chicken that followed him around all the time-

“I seem to have misunderstood.” Zhongli watches him confusedly, teapot hanging forgotten on one hand. Childe can almost visualise him making that very same tea in his home in Snezhnaya, with the raging blizzards going strong outside, his soothing voice telling tales of dragons and giant monsters to his baby siblings to entertain them for a lack of anything better to do in the catastrophic winter. “You do not need my assistance?”

“No. I mean, yes, but not in that way.” Childe grunts, rubbing his eyes with both hands, stood ten feet away from Zhongli because he simply can’t stand the way his body burns when their shoulders brush together. The ex archon continues to look completely lost, his lips slightly open and his brows furrowed in his weak attempt to grasp the situation. Childe is stubborn, ridiculously brave at most instances, but above all, he is an idiot. And like an idiot, he says: “Have you ever kissed a Snezhnayan?”

Zhongli stills, blinking stupidly, unable to tell whether this was another one of the Harbinger’s jokes that their generational and cultural gap didn’t allow him to understand. He places the teapot down. “Excuse me?”

Childe wants to smack himself across the face. He forces out a loud laugh. “No, that was a joke!” He can feel the hairs on the side of his head sticking to his face. If the Abyss could swallow him again, now was the time. “What I mean is…” Childe takes in a deep breath. “Will you go out on a date with me?”

Zhongli stares at the wall across him, way past Ajax, into the eyes of some unseen divine force that is absolutely messing with him right then. “Did Hu Tao put you up to this?” After all, she always told him he needed to get laid, but he never understood where exactly he was supposed to be reclining. Mortal language had taken to weird expressions over the centuries.

“No, God, no,” Childe shakes his hands defensively. “Alright, mr. Zhongli, I’m so into you I can’t sleep at night, and I have been like that since I first saw you walking by Wanmin Restaurant, when you were trying some local delicacy and doing your ridiculous, bourgeoise critique on the authenticity of the flavours-” Childe goes quiet, his rant dying amidst its blooming as he watched Zhongli’s eyes soften and his brows tense, an unmistakable redness spreading over the adeptus’ face. “Mr. Zhongli?”

“Ajax, stop.” Zhongli hasn’t felt this flustered in thousands of years. He isn’t sure what it is about this human that is so awfully endearing, but it’s making him sear and liquify from the inside. “I’ll go out with you. We need to discuss the place and time, as well as the attire and the mood of the overall meeting, since leaving things unclear leads to misunderstandings that can not be resolved without-”

Ajax’s smile is stretching so wide across his face that he fears it’s going to split, a sudden ego boost booming so hard into his chest that he feels like he could fight the entire Fatui army and win. He takes a few steps forward and puts his hands on the table in front of the ex archon, hovering slightly above him. “Leave it to me.” He leans in closer and Zhongli can smell the exotic perfume on his skin. “There’s only one question left.”

“What?” Zhongli treads carefully, his jaw setting when a gloved hand finds his chin and tips his head back, fixing their gazes together.

“Have you ever kissed a Snezhnayan?”

[demonslayedher]

Any Kny character you've grown to love/appreciate more??

Thanks for waiting, Anon, I have been trying to really, really hard to narrow this down, but the answer remains: the vast majority of the cast. The only character I loved right away was Tanjiro and that love kept me watching, as with almost every new character I was like, "ugh, I hate this guy. Here I was, having fun being emotionally invested in a high quality anime, and this might ruin it for me." But then the instant I see a different side of their character, I'm like, "...Oh." To go into some examples...

Zenitsu: I could not stand him right away, I hate womanizers, and his conniptions would go on so long that they held up the story. But Gotouge/Ufotable strung me along perfectly, the first glimpse of Thunder Breath made me immediately pay attention and think, "oh, that was cool. I want to see more of that." Seeing him protect the box pretty firmly put him in the "I need to protect this child" box in my heart. And then the spider demon happens, and I'm sending desperate reaction messages to a friend like "NOOOOOO!!!! BABBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYY!!!!" And then he annoyed me all over again at the start of Functional Recovery, ahaha. It's hard to remember how annoyed I was because I'm such a Zen Stan now, and he was a very firm favorite of mine by the time I finished binging the anime up to the last couple episodes, which I waited for as they came out. Inosuke: He was one of the reasons I was curious about the series, I saw some promotional art and was super curious about Nezuko's muzzle (I was one of the people who thought it was some ancient scroll or something, haha) and the kid with the boar mask. The art I saw showed his face, and I assumed he'd be some kid with a cracking voice performed by a female seiyuu. As much as I love Matsuoka's performance now, initially, since I knew what his face looked like, I found it grossly off-putting the moment I heard it. Then every chaotic thing Inosuke did dug a deeper hole; I very quickly decided I hated him, especially when he started beating up on the kid I was starting to like. As his chaos subsided he just became a character I tolerated, and then this happened:

Images you can hear, am I right? This immediately flipped the "BABY" switch in my heart. It was also a lot of fun to understand the Inosuke memes I was seeing everywhere. So by the end of the anime, I loved, loved, loved, loved the Tanjiro/Zenitsu/Inosuke interactions and desperately wanted more (still didn't like how Zenitsu bothered Nezuko, though). I was so impatient for more, but the manga art looked disappointingly off-putting. I figured the anime was successful enough that there'd eventually be more of it, and I wanted to be patient, but then I poked around, read some spoilers, got back into Tumblr to look at fanart and memes, saw a spoiler image of Tanjiro affected by Muzan's poison and the binge-read began. (That's kind of a lie, but I'll get to that.) Let's back up a few episodes. There I was, having a great time, the guy who I forgot about from Episode 1 was back and haha, I guess everyone hates him, and the chick who I figured was going to be a medic who saves Zenitsu in the nick of time turned out to be savage, awesome. I was sending reactions to my friends who were ahead of me, and then we left off seeing the Pillars staring down Best Boy. And I...

Well. Uh. Here, I've dug up an old convo for you, my comments are in blue.

Immediately followed by a passionate vocal rant, which I have transcribed here:

“I feel like what happened was that the mangaka was sitting around with his assistants and was like, ‘welp, gotta make this whole cast of characters, they gotta be so-o-o-o many more levels of extreme than all the other characters I’ve had so far, which isn’t hard, because all of the background characters are cannon fodder and I’ve just gotta leave them all with black hair and no personality traits. So! Gotta go to the opposite of the spectrum with the BIG! POWERFUL! People so no-o-o-body can be normal.’ And so he and his assistants sat down, and they all wrote down just random words or traits, and them put ‘em all in a hat. And then for each character, they pulled out a few of them and said, ‘OK. We’re gonna put these things together, now we have a character.’ And he was probably also like, ‘Iiiiiiiiiiiii’ll flesh them out later. For now, they just need t’… be there, and make an impact. How do we make an impact? By making sure it’s super, super clear what their character traits are. Here, we’ll have this guy repeat the word //HADE//…. ////HA DEEE//// over and over and over… to show that he’s a /showy/ person. Because he /cares/ about that. And he //should// care because that is his character and that’s why he’s powerful.’ OH MY GOSH, it’s so dumb.”

......orz I feel like Genya looking back at how he acted at the end of the Final Selection. I'm sorry, Gotouge, I had not even encountered your love for these characters yet in your little alligator form. Nor had I encountered the yet unseen-sides of these traumatized dragons and tigers. ...*coughs* Um. So. I was pretty harsh.

So this was my mindset, I went into the manga not caring about most of these characters and just wanting more Kamaboko squad interactions and wanting to hurry up and catch up to the battle with Muzan. And it's worth stating that I didn't mean to read it at first. I encountered a few spoilers, and just wanted to look for the context surrounding those parts, and then hunt for the (non-existent) build-up to those parts, and so... uh.........

I read a lot of the manga out of order, and yeah, that did affect how much I cared about what was going on. I didn't actually properly process a lot of it until later re-reads. But to try to state some things simply about each Pillar:

Giyuu: He was just 'ok' to me for a long time, I could see the appeal for why people I knew were fangirling over him but he didn't do it for me. His soft spot for Tanjiro was indeed endearing, though, and I firmly liked him by the time chapter 200 came out and I was properly heartbroken on his behalf.

Shinobu: She was intriguing, and then I liked her as soon as I saw her savage side, she was one of the characters I went hunting for spoilers for.

Rengoku: That stare really put me off at first, but I fell for him over the process of Tanjiro falling for him. When I first finished the train arc I sat back and said, "wow! That's going to make for a good movie!" and then in psyching myself out for the movie several months in advance, I fell hook, line, and sinker and was totally excited for him each time I saw the trailers. And then the movie was *stunning* and I love him even more. Uzui: He was the Pillar I hated most upon first meeting them. I blame the repeated use of his catchphrase. But then when he let his hair down to sell the kiddos the change in design helped warm me up more to him, like, "oh, there was a human in there." It took a long time for him to become more interesting to me, and an uncharacteristically subtle journey to becoming a character I liked. I am currently getting more and more psyched out for him and eager to see how much more I'm going to like him with the shiny Ufotable treatment. Mitsuri: At first I didn't remember her name, I had code-named her as "Boobs." But I kinda had a feeling she was going to grow on me quickly, and I was right, she's one of my easy favorites now. Muichiro: Who? Oh yeah, that kid who always kinda fell to the wayside in my attention. I'd see a lot of Muichiro-themed blogs and hear a lot of little girls looking at merch and showing a clear favoritism of him, and I'd like always react like Muichiro and just be like, "...", and then when I read his major battles I was more emotionally invested in things going on concurrently with other characters, and I was still like, "...", and then two days ago I revisited a Muichiro scene and was suddenly like, "......OH!!! MUICHIRO!!!!!" Himejima: I never really hated Himejima, even if I found his first impression kind of wimpy (haha... oh, I was so wrong). I had a pretty easy acceptance of him too, so I would generally count him among characters I like, but if you were to ask me why, I'd draw a blank. It's kind of a weirdly mature, subdued appreciation for him rather than passionate fangirling. But weirdly when I was daydreaming the other day I found myself thinking, "if I had to marry someone in the KnY cast, it would be Himejima." So like, not a fiery romance, but I see him as my dependable, sturdy rock to grow old with??? What is up with you, sub-conscious?? Iguro: My interest in him rises and falls. Being a Mitsuri fan helped warm me up to his character in the first place, which was the emotional tie I needed since his backstory didn't grip me much (I found it a frustrating distraction while I was desperately reading weekly updates). Reading more subtle details about his character in the fanbooks has brought me around and made me more curious about him, like I'd really like to be a fly on the wall for the conversation he had with Uzui one day about their pasts.

Sanemi: Hahaha, wow. He was so unlikable in the beginning, wasn't he? His character design (yeah, the eyes) was really off-putting too. But then I got to know him and there was no going back, I got totally played. He's a character I'm pretty fond of now and one of the characters I've enjoyed delving into most in fanfic. To keep this answer from getting too long, for the vaaaaaast majority of the cast, I was initially like, "meh" or "OK" or "ew" but now am like, "EEEEEEEEE, I LOVE THIS TOTALLY RANDOM UNIMPORTANT SIDE CHARACTERRRRRRR" so you know... times change. And the more time I spend obsessed with Kimetsu no Yaiba, the more I like them all, so even the characters I'm lukewarm on will probably have their eventual days when they take over my heart and smash it.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: Terror of the Terra-Firmians!  (Lena Retrospective) (Commission by WeirdKev27): Launchpad Looses his Last Brain Cell and I Loose My Patience

Welcome back Weblena Warriors to the second part of my look at everyone’s favorite Emo Teen Shadow Lesbian Duck... and probably the only one but hey, semantics, Shadow Into Light, which was made possible by viewers like you, the ultra humanite and a commission from WeirdKev27. Picking up where we left off, we have our first episode that has a different intended order than airing order. 

As most of you probably remember, but some of you who joined later might not be aware of the broadcast order for the first half of season one is, in the academic sense, pretty fucked. It’s not Darkwing Duck’s entirely fucked by a web of badger spiders and a queen snake on top to make it some sort of train situation, but by just sorta airing whatever episodes they wanted to, Disney messed with the character balance so Huey got less focus, not that he got a ton of focus this season but still, as well as leaning into the episodes focusing more on the kids with less involvement from the adults which gave the wrong impression about the series. While it IS very focused on the triplets and webby, the show isn’t entirely about them, but as Frank has mentioned a few times, Disney Channel apparently has this WEIRD thing where they assume kids won’t like stories starring the adult characters. 

Yeah I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while. Mostly how it’s so dumb I could swear Pauly Shore was an exec at Disney Channel. And he might be I don’t know what he’s doing these days and i’d like to keep it that way. For starters, the Scooge comics, while barely published in the US these days, are still popular globally and have appealed to kids and adults for generations and are mostly focused on him, with the kids in a supporting role and Ducktales, you know the thing your directly remaking here, was also mostly about him with the triplets supporting, if a bit less than the comics. Most of the Disney Afternoon was about adult characters, with any kids in side roles in the main cast. And it comes off entirely hypocritical of them to say this when the MCU is easily marvel’s biggest cash cow at the moment, and marvel properties have appealed to both kids and adults, like the duck comics, for decades. And if it’s because the marvel cartoons weren’t doing well , I’ll let you in on a little secret: Those didn’t do well because they looked bland and from what I’ve seen of them felt kind of bland, though I haven’t seen enough to fully judge. Kids LIKE adult characters as much as kid characters, and also like teen characters despite not being teens. Focusing on either is valid and while I LIKED Disney’s youth starring shows I also want another X-Men cartoon before I turn 50, and I bet kids would like that too, with the last one only failing because you bailed on it because you were throwing a hissy fit over fox having the movie rights, and do not get me started on that. Point is this argument is horse shit and should stay in the stables. 

So yeah I do think this episode came too soon and it’s placement effected it at the time and as such it dosen’t have the best rep with the fandom aside from the Lena bits and that includes me. The fact it was very early in the series and the characterizations hadn’t yet sunk in really hurt this episode in places but is it really that bad? Join me under the cut to find out

We open at the movies! Which scrooge apparently hasn’t been too since the 1930′s or seen any on video despite Della existing and being really stubborn. 

A rant for another episode. But the kids just got out of a Mole Monster movie, along with Lena, Beakly and Launchpad. Their reactions are as follows: Lena, Webby and Dewey really enjoyed it, Huey found it unrealistic... says the boy whose uncle fought a dragon made of gold a month or two back but we’ll get to that, and Louie was bored and felt it didn’t have enough of the ultra violence, kids these days it’s not about the gore it’s about the tension. And Beakly.. is just pissed Lena tricked them into seeing this and said it was educational. And the more I think about it the more this sounds like BEAKLYS fault than Lena’s. BEAKLY is the one who likely bought the tickets, who saw it was likely an r or pg-13 and who as we’ve seen HAS A PHONE, and ulnike scrooge probably isn’t so stingy she wouldn’t spring for a smart phone, so she could’ve just googled it, or whatever bird related pun is in this version.. gandered it.. yeah let’s go with that, gandered it, and SEEEN it wasn’t appropriate or walked htem out of the theater and ate the cost if she was that bothered by it. Sitting through a Horror Movie you didn’t research, didn’t pull the kids out of and dind’t bother to even check the poster for or use basic common sense is YOUR fault. And this could’ve worked fine, had Lena talk the kids into begging for it or had launchpad take them and have Beakly find out after, having driven to pick them up as she didn’t trust launchpad to take them home. Instead it makes the former super spy look REALLY stupid and feels really out of character for a SPY to not to do research. And it wasn’t like they decided on this later, Bentina being a spy was part of the character’s backstory from day one and its made clear as early as episode 2 in both airing orders. This is just lazy writing to justify the episode and I expect better from this crew. 

But an argument errupts between Huey and Webby over the Terra-Firmians, a hidden race of rock people living in Duckburg’s discontinued sewer system, allegedlys. So Lena suggest simply going down which gets a disapproving look from Beakly, despite you know this being their bread and butter, and the fact that if she had a problem with Scrooge not being involved.. she could just call him. Exploring fabled rock people is something he’d be into. I mean there’s a low profit margin but it also costs him almost nothing to walk to the theater or have launchpad swing around and pick him up. Just gas which given how much he pays for jet fuel isn’t a big ask. But Beakly soon gets distracted by Launchpad whose convinced the film is real and is attacking the poster a grim sign of things to come as while Beakly annoyed me in this one on rewatch, especially after realizing the above... Launchpad annoyed me both times and for VERY good reason we’ll get into. This provides a distraction and allows the trio to escape. Cue titles. 

After the title sequence, our heroes head deeper underground, there’s too much panic in this town... I mean props to Donald for trying something new but he really needs to rethink his cologne choices. Sex Panther is just.. not a good smell on.. anyone. 

So our heroes journey through the depths of the subway system, and we find out part of why Huey’s so skeptical, as he finds anything that isn’t in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook to not exist, though the cracks in this already show as he’s added anything that does. We’ll get back to this later but as you can tell the basic dynamic for 24 minutes is Webby being a wholehearted True Believer and Huey being a Skeptical Sally. And Lena is just sorta “Eh gives me an excuse for shenanigans” about it. We also get a peak into webby’s mind as we see her notes .. which really just come off as Terra-Firmian fanfiction involving a war of succession between two sides, the terra’s and the firmies, something based on previous media, and also some doodles of a fictional candy called webby-dings and herself as a superhero, both things I want to see. 

But yeah the first third of the episode is pretty simple, just them journeying, the occasional shift in the firmament, and it’s not bad, and there are a few great bits: Huey nerds out about rocks, and finds them way more interesting than a possible rock monster.

Which leads to the best gag of the episode as when Huey tries to pick up a big sample Webby, annoyed at his hyperfixation on the JWG, asks him to ask his book for help.. which he does by reading it and actually manages to pick the large rock up. This is halted though when Lena screams.. though she really just did it to draw them to an abandoned subway car full of glomgold posters for glomgold products because of course a failed subway project has his name plastered over it. You can’t spell glomgold without failure.. the failure is silent. Glomgold is not. 

The fun is interuptted though by a livid Beakly who had realized they were missing in an earlier scene, after telling the Manager that McDuck Industries would pay for the poster.. and then found out Launchpad also destroyed the toilets “They come up thorugh the sewers!”. Launchpad that’s CHUDS, Ninja Turtles and Rats who raised Ninja Turtles like their own sons, mole people dig or use old mineshafts. It’s basic mole science. Also Beakly really shouldn’t sweat it, I just assumed the city has had a runnig bill witht he company for “McDuck Family and Employee Related Accidents, Mayhem and Shenanigans”. I mean he’s had Gyro on his payroll for at least a decade and a half by the series start, Gyro has leveled whole sections of city in an afternoon more than most giant monsters. Of which several have destroyed Duckburg. It got better. 

Point is she’s livid about them sneaking off with Lena pointing out their some sort of adventure family and Beakly.. saying she won’t see them again, or at least implying it hard. I’ll put a pin in this, as the train buckles and a bit of seismic, or rock men, activity means their stuck. So they divide into teams: Beakly will go try and unhook the train car from the busted cars so they can ride out, Launchpad will go try and fix it, and we get this lovely exxchange as a result

Launchpad: Cool never crashed a train before Beakly: Can’t you try driving it without crashing it? Launchpad: Wha? 

His face in that scene is priceless. He takes Dewey along. More on that in a second. Webby, Huey and Louie are told to stay put with Beakly only bringing Lena along because she dosen’t trust her. So since we have three split plots for a second... let’s split up gang, starting with the most aggrivating, middling with what you all came here for and why this is part of the retrsopective, and ending with the plot that directly heads into the final part of the episode. 

Launchpad and Dewey: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay starting with the most infamous plot and easily the worst part of this episode, probably the worst plot in any Ducktales 2017 episode. That’s not hyperbole it’s really that bad and really pissed people off, as fans of the original launchpad felt they made him overly stupid. This is where the airing order’s a problem as putting an episode with a subplot where one of your characters is obnoxiously dumb right up front means they assume this is his charcter and not just one poorly written chapter in a very dumb but very loveable characters life, likely because the writers hadn’t figured out how to properly scale his stupidity with comptience. 

So as a result we get a good 3-4 mintutes if not agonizingly more of Launchpad assuming something he saw in a fucking movie film was real. That.. that’s his actual plot. Need I remind you, he’s in his late 20′s early 30′s. He’s not much older than me. While other episodes have him as dim this one claims he CAN’T TELL FACT FROM FICTION. 

There are lines you have to keep with your characters to keep the audience from hating them. They crossed it about 80 times with this plot and make Launchpad into a gibbering dunderhead who can’t do anything right versus a regular dunderhead whose good at one or two things and loveable enough for us to like him and not care about his numerous safey violations and child endagerment charges. Thankfully this is the ONLY episode that gets this bad and they clearly learned from this, but it dosen’t make it any less of a tough sit. 

Dewey spends most of the subplot with a look on his face that just screams that he’s as done with this bullshit as we are, as Launchpad assumes he’s a mole person and brought along a pipe to presumibly bludgeon him, because wanting to cave his best friends skull in over stupidity is a GREAT look> Thankfuly he does not. And when the lights come back on Launchpad.. assumes he’s a monster because of bright light, GAH, and locks him out before they end up outside and the plto resolves itself by Dewey pointing out by Launchpad’s utterly baffling logic that he could be a mole monster, so Launchpad.. assumes he is. 

The subplot’s later buttoned up as he claims “I love being a mole monster”, again diffrent subteranian creature launchpad, she says he’s not and my suffering is thankfully at an end. This plot just sucks, it’s bad, overly stupid and dosen’t work with an adult character. Someone like say Ed from Ed, Edd N Eddy, or someone who belivies in weird conspiracy stuff like Dale Gribble or Stan Pines. with either of them this plot would’ve been fucking great. I could buy it from Dale and it just comes off as his normal paranoid weirdness. With Launchpad it comes off like he seriously needs help because the episode frames it as if he can’t tell ficton from reality, and his splotlight episode later would directly contridct this and make this episode even more aggrivating, as he’s a fan of Darkwing Duck, and KNOWS it’s acted out by an actor, so why wouldn’t he get this? It’s just....

It sucks, it sucks and I thankfully get to move on to a better subplot

Beakly and Lena: What You Are in the Dark

Beakly tells Lena she’ll never see Webby again after this.. then chastises her when she won’t help despite you know having just said she’s going to force their friendship apart, which Lena points out. She then gets mad at Lena making a sarcastic comment at her. Okay she’s lived with Louie for at least a week in airing order and a month or two in actual order. She has to be used to this by now. She’s insolent.. because you show her no respect, blame her for something that while sure she talked you into, you should’ve known better, and top it off by saying you want to keep her from the kids because they have bright futures and come from good familes and asks who rasied her and her face.. well.

Yeah wheras Launchpad and Huey, more on that in a second, were hurt by this being some of their earliest big roles, Bentina wasn’t.. until later when we found out just HOW bad Magica is to Lena and how much she dosen’t care about her other than as a tool to use. At this point we didn’t know just how much Lena was playing webby, how much she was only manipulating her, and even with her heroic act here we didn’t know if she only saw Webby as her way to break free. The next episode makes it clear she dosen’t and genuinely does care, 100%, so in hindsight it makes Bentina come off as ghoulsih for horribly asssuming about a girl she dosen’t know, and even if she did know about Magica wouldn’t know the full story, just like us, and then BERATING her after already saying she’s going to rip her away from Webby, which itself is PRETTY bad as she’s the only friend the girl has and sh’es doing so on... talking them into a horror movie, which as I outlined was more Bentina’s fault than Lena’s, and leading the kids into a dangerous place whicha gain, Lena pointed out is something she lets Scrooge do. And trust me i know that she actually knows Scrooge, and we later find out, as we’ll cover next month, that she isn’t ware HOW dangerous things are with Scrooge. It dosen’t change the fact she knows they do dangerous stuff to a point and that Lena may just be acting out. It also dosen’t change the fact she drove three children, yes including launchpad, down here with her instead of sending them home with Launchpad.. granted that option isn’t the safest but it’s safer than taking her with them thena cting like it’s ALL lena’s fault when three of the children, again including launchpad, are down there because of HER. Not Lena, HER. I’m harder on her because she’s older, wiser and was “raised properly” apparently. Though given the way she treats a random teen off the street she again knows nothing about and dind’t bother to ask... it begs the question. 

IT’s a good question. I could see the classism coming from being raised in 40′s and 50′s britain, judging by the timeline.. but even then she’s seen the world, and while her nature is supscious, the classit bullshit makes no sense after presumibly working with, and later spymastering for, various agents of various backgrounds. How has she not dropped this in decades. Scrooge very clearly dropped the racisim and homophobia of his time, so it still stands  on her for not dropping this. And Lena’s hurt shows under hte mask for the first time, that beneath the snark and secrecy.. is just an abused teenager with nowhere else to go and no way out being bullied by an older woman whose cutting off the only light at the end of the tunnel nto for good reason but out of classist, overprotective mallice.  My issues, which to be fair probably were intentional in the episode but sitll are a bit overblown, aside we do get an absoluttley tremendous moment later as a car falls on top of Beakly.. and Magica, speaking once more urges Lena to leave her, let her die and let their plans progress. And while that iself is.. dumb, what if someone finds her or her corpse later, especially since Scrooge would likely perosnally want to retrive the body to give her a proper burial as she’s his only friend at this point, or the rest of the family questoin the story?, it fits Magica’s lack of foresight we see throughout the season. But Lena... saves her. While she later gives an explination, and a valid one at that, it’s clear from her expressoin, her actoins and how she does it... that this is her. Part of it is defiance, as she glares at Magica before doing it, her own stubborn nature mixed with her hatred of her “aunt”, meaning Magica just made it all too easy for her to do this. But the real reason is clear: It’s the right thing to do. While pissing off her aunt and getting away with it is the cherry on top.. the real reason is that unlike Magica.. Lena is not a killer, not a monster, and not a heartless vacum ofa person. Even if she doesn’t like Beakly, for good reason.. she can’t, she WON’T leave her to die and leave Webby an orphan again. She loves Webby too much to do that to her and while she may deny it.. she’s too good a person to leave someone to die for something so petty. Even if she never sees webby again and the plans ruined. It’s better than the weight of knowing she let someone who wasn’t trying to harm her and whose actions, while terrible, were out of misguided protection of her granddaughter, die like this. She saves her. And as we’ll see it pays off.. but before that. 

Huey, Webby and Louie: Into the Unknown This plot’s a bit shorter, as Webby and Huey continue their argument, with Louie eventually making it clear, and not even hiding it when directly asked by Huey, that he’s playing both sides with a delighted expression on his face as the movie was boring but this, this is interesting. Which it is. But it’s interupted by dings on the roof and while Huey assumes i’ts just a regular rock, it moves while their not lookiung.. and soon red eyed, horrifying beasts look out at them and the kids flee back to the car. This dosen’t pan out as the car starts to shake and is clearly going to collapse.. and while Webby and Louie are prepared to flee, rock monsters or no, Huey, in an utterly heart shattering image.. stays in place, terrified of moving. 

This is where this plot goes from mildly aggrivating, as Huey’s Skeptic shenanigans can get on the nerves.. to BRILLIANT. See at the time this was more annoying because it was assumed the skepticsim would be a part of Huey’s character and we’d get more episodes of him being annoying only to be proven wrong, as he semeingly dosen’t learn his lesson at this point, looging the terrafrimians in the guide book. But on rewatch.. this plot is amazing.  For starters the plot subtly introduced the defening characteristic of Huey’s personality, one that’s become more prounounced in Season 3: His need for Order. He needs things to make sense: He solves stuff because he likes there to be order in the world and something he can understand, he can put in a box in his head. Like a lot of neurotypical people, myself included, he struggles horribly when the clearly defined boxes of his life and things he undestand have wrinkles or complexities he can’t get. I for instnace easily got it when I was introduced to the concept of trans people or being non binary.. they just make sense in hindsight: given how our brains are messya nd complicated it makes sense some people would be born in the wrong ones, and tht with all the science and medicine we have to correct that, should be allowed to transition if they so choose. It makes equal sense that some people just don’t have a gender or are gender fluid, being both or neither. Despite struggling with non binary prounouns due to force of habit.. I get the concept with no real difficulty. But when it comes to accepting I don’t have to apologize for everything and that everyone is not angry or that anger is natural and people sometimes get mad and you can’t and shouldnt’ fix it.. it’s something I STRUGGLE with even knowing it’s not right, because my brain is just wired that way. 

That’s how Huey’s struggle comes off here.. he reveals he’s willing to stay and die.. because he’s SO scared of the unknown, that the idea of dying from something he at least knows what it is versus something he dosen’t.., so paralizyed by his own brain he can’t figure out the obvious.. it takes Webby reaching out to him figuratively and literally, to show him that sometimes you have to face the unknown. The unknown is fucking terrifying.. but it can be good and it’s better than sitting there, scared and unable to move. You have to try, to grow and take that risk that things may not go well to really LIVE. 

So he does.. and they reunite with the rest of the group.. and soon find the terrafirmains.. who as it turns out once we get some light on them... are actually just goofy looking,  brightly colored, each one matching one of the kids, kids themselves, and Huey reaches out and touches one, which by ET logic means their friends now, and the terrafirmians help them get out. And this lesson sticks. While sure Huey catalogues it and it seems it didn’t.. he’s never this skeptical again. This douchey skepticsim was only for one episode, his fear of the uknown replcaed with boundless curosity and from here on he’s CURIOUS about new stuff as long as it’s not trying to kill him. He loves taking in new experinces, maybe not to webby levels but he does actually try them and study them instead of just fearing them. 

Before we wrap things up, obviously we need to talk about the JWG not having entries on a lot of stuff. This would be corrected next season as it returns to being a big book of everything, but dosen’t completely contridct this as Timephoon! shows there’s stillcgaps.. which i’m fine with. While it knowing EVERYTHING was fine for the original series here, with things being slightly more groudned, it’d just be an obvious plothole if Huey didn’t use it every single time they ran into something and that’d get boring. Instead it’s simply that it dosen’t know everything, and really in the comics at times it didn’t and the triplets found out new things. It knew almost everything mind you, but having some gaps for dramatic tnesion is fine with me and Seasons 2 and 3 decided on that instead of just having it being a scouting manual which wa sfor the best. And even by later in the season hit has guides to getting a small buisness loan, so they already course corrected. 

So everything’s wrapped up and while Magica berates Lena for disobeying her.. Beakly interputps, thankfully not seeing magica and admits she was wrong and invites Lena for pancakes, even taking a crack about if their actually pancakes or english muffins with syrup, which sounds like my own living hell, in stride, having clearly grown. And Lena explains to Magica that this was the better approach: now she’s got the in theyw anted, and is above suspcison for now. Still not so much that an obvious act won’t be detected but enough that she dosen’t ahve to work actively around her anymore. Magica scoffs.. and while part of it is probably rage.. part of it is deep down both of them know she did it out of defiance.. and only Lena knows that she did it for the right reasons... she just dosen’t get why. She probably justifies it as playing the long game.. but deep down she knows something’s changing about her.. and she’s not sure if that’s a godo thing or not. 

Final Thoughts: This episode is as you can tell a mixed bag. It’s 2/3 of a good episode, with the Lena plot, my issues aside, being excellent and the Terra-Firmian plot likewise fun, even if Huey can get grating the payoff is worth it, and the jokes are really high quality. It’s just bogged down by that fucking launchpad plot that just crushed my soul in it’s palms every time it came back. I went on at length why i hated that one but boy oh boy was the hate of that subplot warranted and I stand by calling it the worst plot of the series. It is: it’s not funny, it makes no goddamn sense, and it drags down what’s otherwise a pretty solid epsiode.

Next Time on Lena: Jaws the shark, lurking in the dark, in the depths of the bin one day of a lark decides to get rowdy, get real violent takes a vacay out to Duckburg er.. Island.. also Scrooge faces his greatest Nemesis.. a PR Tour to clean up his image after an unfortunate giant Beanstalk Incident. Be there and be hip to be square. 

Next Time on This Blog: I Tackle a DCOM for the first time for another commissioned review as we take a look at racisim, specifically Apartheid and breaking indoctrination, with The Color of Friendship. See you next Rainbow. 

[hiraemy]

Lumine and the Goblet of Fire [part 2]

[part one]

word count: 2.7k

Act Two: Lumine and the stupid rumors

For some reason, it seems like Hogwarts students liked to gossip. A lot.

Really. It hadn’t passed a single week since the champion announcement, but it seemed like they had already traced a rough profile on all three competitors. 

According to rumors, Albedo was the incredible handsome prefect of Ravenclaw. He was nothing but polite to teachers and creatures that lived in the school, however, he didn’t seem to be interested in anything that didn’t catch his attention, and liked to keep himself at a safe distance from other people. He did have a little sister named Klee, a Gryffindor first-year infamous for her pranks and for being at detention constantly. Also, some people claimed that Albedo was secretly Miss Lisa and Miss Jean’s secret love child(?)

In contrast, the rumors surrounding Childe were more… Disturbing, per say. Everywhere he went he attracted a bunch of girls who thought that could stalk him without anyone noticing— including the guy himself. Those girls, in turn, were the responsible for telling the whole school that Childe had some scars in his arms and back and trained his body a lot (not the magical kind of training though), and that he was part of a delinquent gang. Also, he apparently had at least three siblings, all of them taking their studies in Durmstrang and visiting Hogwarts for the time-being. When asking other students from their academy, it was confirmed that Childe’s best subject was the Dark Arts. Not the classic Defense of the Dark Arts, the one that was teached in Hogwarts and Beauxbatons, but the Dark Arts itself. 

How reassuring. 

However, when it came to rumors about herself, Lumine was lowkey salty. Not that she wanted to have a bunch of creepy stalkers following her into the Beauxbatons chambers, like Albedo and Childe probably had to deal with, but it was some kind of disappointing that the only thing that people could gather about her was her name, Paimon and Aether’s names, the fact that Aether was her twin and that Paimon was a half-fairy. Not even her favourite subject was discovered! How... disappointing.

“As cute as you are when you’re upset, stop pouting.” Aether shoved a finger in her cheek playfully, a teasing smirk gracing his lips. 

“I’m not pouting!” Lumine glared at him, pretending to bite at the offending finger pettily.

“Yes, you are,” Paimon chipped on her twin’s other side, stuffing her mouth with the delicious breakfast offered by the school. “Shouldn’t you be more upset? Paimon is really glad that you’re not angry about the Tournament anymore, but—”

“And who said I’m not angry?” Lumine bickered, narrowing her eyes and chewing the bread with a pissed look. She gathered all the sarcasm she had in her body to rant. “I’m the only one in this group that has the brain cells to actually know that getting angry with you two will take me nowhere, especially that now I need to beat down god-knows-what fucking creature because certain someone made me enter this shitty competition and now I need to win against the genius of the century, which coincidentally, comes from the Hogwarts house that is clearly known for being full of prodigious geniuses, not to mention the smiling psychopath that comes from a school who teaches the uses of Dark Magic and also specializes in that same art, so the chances that he could curse me to the point that I drop dead in the blink of an eye makes me really confident that nothing could ever go wrong—”

Aether shoves another loaf of bread into her mouth, interrupting the stressed rant and earning himself a hateful glare from the blonde. 

“Just go and say that you’re jealous” He said nonchalantly, Paimon nodding along. Lumine felt her cheeks flare up in anger, her eyebrows shooting upwards

“What? No! I’m not upset about that! Why the hell should I be mad about not getting enough attention for my skills?” Immediately after the words escaped her mouth she regretted them, Aether sending his best deadpan look.

"There you go. See? Wasn’t that hard, was it?”

Lumine sighed.

Two weeks passed in a blink. Really. At some point, Lumine learned that she was terrible at controlling her thoughts— even more when she went to sleep. It was like a switch was flicked on her head, allowing her brain to go downhill with each possible way things could go wrong. An Abyss Mage invading her exam and burning her to death, a Whooperflower blooming out of nowhere and killing her with ice spikes or the air currents suddenly blowing her off her broomstick while in air. She felt like she woke up breathless too many times in those last weeks.

A bit too soon for her liking, the day of the first trial came. 

The three Champions were led into a tent at the back of the arena with Mr. Alberich. No visitors were allowed, meaning that Lumine didn’t have Aether or Paimon to soothe her nerves— even if outside her face was still as stone, she felt like screaming on the inside. Albedo and Childe didn’t seem nervous, although she could notice Albedo messing with his fingers like a nervous tick. The Durmstrang student, however, seemed more bored than anything else. 

At some point, there was a reporter trying to make her give a statement about how she felt about the tournament and what she did think about her peers— no, no way in hell she would ever admit being intimidated by them, thank you—, but her quiet answers probably made her quickly uninterested, so she went to snoop on Childe and Albedo. Did she feel guilty? No, they had seen it coming. That’s on them for being attractive, right?

“Enough talking, let’s take our draws for now.” Mr. Alberich interrupted the woman with a sigh, saving Albedo from his torture and showing a dust bag in front of Childe. “We’re going in the order decided by the Goblet—so, Mr. Childe, then Mr. Albedo and then Miss Lumine.” 

The reporter left the tent after being shoed away and Childe put his hand on the bag. The way Kaeya held it made it impossible to see what was inside. His arm went deep until his elbows, and then he pulled something in his closed fist. Opening his fingers dramatically, it revealed a pretty heart-shaped crystal that was slightly transparent as water itself.

“Mr. Childe, your opponent is going to be Rhodeia of Loch, also known as Oceanid of Qingce. I’m expecting a good demonstration from you” He stated with a slight smirk, moving quickly so he was in front of Albedo. Lumine didn’t miss the satisfied look from Childe, but she preferred to not overthink too much.

Albedo repeated the same action from the ginger boy, pulling a dark blue fang from the bag. Kaeya’s eyes darkened slightly, before announcing, his shoulder tensing slightly.

“Mr. Albedo, you drew the Wolf of the North, Andrius. While I wouldn’t underestimate your abilities, I must warn you that this one is a particular feral beast. Wish you the best of luck” Lumine furrowed her eyebrows. The difference between Childe and Albedo’s speeches were so strikingly obvious that she knew that besides the magical abilities, the trial had a luck factor. She wasn’t happy with that. 

Her luck nowadays was... Abysmal. 

“Miss Lumine,” Mr. Alberich stood in front of her with the bag open, and she nodded, not wasting any time before shoving her arm down. 

Her fingers brushed at the bottom, her mind providing that the bag probably was enhanced by a space spell, and she could feel various objects at the fingerprints, but wasn’t able to recognise any of them. Deciding to rely completely on her luck, she pulled the southwest one, rectrating her arm with a light-blue feather on it. Mr.Alberich’s eyes went wide at the sight before quickly recomposing himself, his shoulders heavy and lips pressed.

“This… Miss Lumine, this is Dvalin’s plume. Your opponent will be the dragon Dvalin, also popularly known as Stormterror, the Erstwhile King of the Skies. Good luck”

She shivered. Luck was never on her side, wasn’t it? Kaeya shifted, making the bag disappear from his hands with a flick of his wand, properly turning so he could address all of them with a professional tone.

“The goal in this first test is simple. You need to obtain those objects you drew from your opponent. It could be easily achieved when the beasts are dead or unconscious.” He explained, face stern. “Any questions?"

"Is it really necessary to defeat them?" Albedo asked, receiving a raised eyebrow from almost everyone in the tent.

"Not exactly, but I wouldn't count on that. I really doubt you convince the Wolf of the North to give you a fang, genius or not.  However, if you can manage to collect, the trial will be considered a success even if you don’t take Andrius down. Is that all, Mr. Albedo?" When he didn’t protest any further, Kaeya proceeded, nodding to himself. "Okay. Now, we will shortly begin the preparations. There will be a screen on here so you can watch each other’s performances, but you won’t be allowed to leave the tent until the last champion completes her test, understood?”

“Yes!”

“Great. Now, give me a second. I’ll come fetch Mr.Childe shortly.”

"Hey, girlie" 

Lumine flinched. A loud laugh came from behind her and she felt her cheeks redden in embarrassment, immediately correcting her posture so she could at least pretend that she wasn't daydreaming. Yeah, it didn’t fool anyone, but who cares?

"Calm down a bit, wont'ya?" The man, who she registered a bit too late as Childe, shot her a teasing smirk. "You look like a scared rabbit trying to gather their guts. It makes me uneasy, like I’m throwing you into the fire pitch or something,"

"Shut it!" Lumine glared at him, making the ginger haired man let out a laugh. From that angle, she almost could forget that he exhaled some dark vibes. Almost. She liked to think that she was a rational woman, not one to be allured by some good looks, and she trusted her gut enough to suspect when things were shady, even if it came from a pretty boy like him. 

Yeah. She wasn’t going to be charmed by a smirk. Even if Childe was handsome. 

Yeah, no way. 

"You shouldn’t worry too much." He continued, obviously ignoring how Lumine glared at him.

"And why do you say that?" She crossed her arms in her chest, her hand palming the wand hidden in her clothes. Just by precaution. 

"Because I heard of you, Lumine. I know who you are, a rough profile of your brother and your strange fairy. I also know a lot about your habits, the subjects you like the most, your strengths and weaknesses, the things you’re allergic to, and even some psychological analysis."

"...you realize how disturbing that sounds, right…?"

"I'm a kind of a bad guy, but I won’t give you that kind of trouble" He laughed again, ignoring the way she squinted her eyes.

"So you admit you're suspicious." Lumine deadpanned.

"Let's say that I just happen to have a really good network. Naturally I know a lot of things, especially from you and from that other Hogwarts champion." Childe dismissed smoothly, waving his hand.

"That doesn't help at all"

“Hm… What about this? It seems like Albedo has something like a girlfriend. Or not. Everyone knows that they like each other, but for some reason, they aren’t together yet. Also, his little sister is a little terrorist who goes around the castle bombing everything, so the teachers are pleading for him to do something about her—” He mindlessly rambled with a shit-eating grin, making Lumine raise her eyebrow in confusion.

“And why you’re telling me that?” She interrupted Childe before he could go on something more personal about the blonde boy.

“If I prove myself to not be interested in you in a creepy way, just a professional, rival-like way, would you cut me some slack? I mean, you always look at me like I’m going to cut your head or something, so—”

“Can you blame me? This is the first time we’re talking and you admit you have been stalking me— or at least you made someone do it for you. That’s not a good first impression”

"Well, I—"

"Not to mention that you probably sent someone after Albedo's little sister. Isn't she in her first year? Yikes…"

"Now you're just making me feel bad…"

"Yeah, you should—"

"Mr. Childe, it's time to go." Mr. Alberich entered the tent, interrupting Lumine. She sent Childe a look, expecting him to just turn and go, but he stood there with a glint in his eyes. She raised her eyebrow questionably. 

"Aren't you going to wish me good luck?" He tilted his head, smirking. 

"Why should I? You're my opponent." Lumine pressed her lips stubbornly. 

"You got me there" Childe giggled unaffected by her dismissal, turning around and giving her a lazy wave.

"You probably don't need it anyway." Lumine muttered, not expecting him to hear it. The ginger haired man smiled.

A sincere one.

"What is this…?" Lumine frowned, looking at the suspicious looking vase. Kaeya gave her an amused look, raising his visible eyebrow.

"Never seen an abode portkey before?" He smirked, standing in front of the vase. "It's an adeptus technology, Miss Lumine. It allows the existence of a pocket size alternative dimension, with different laws regarding time and physics. We can watch you from the outside, but you can't see us from the inside. The ministry provided these portkeys exclusively for the Tournament, so each Trial could be held safely, without any risks for the viewers and reducing the collateral damage."

"That's lowkey terrifying." She deadpanned, earning a laugh from the older wizard. "So, how do I use it?"

"Touch the vase and you'll be pulled into it. The abode will reveal it's exit once you defeat Stormterror and collect his plume. Worst-case scenario, you'll be teleported outside if you forfeit the challenge." He explained cooly, crossing his arms above his chest.

"And what if I can't forfeit?" It was Lumine's turn to tilt her head, golden eyes analysing carefully the older man's face. He narrowed his eyes and his lips pressed together.

"Let's hope it doesn't reach that point, right? As stated in the Triwizard Tournament's rules, outside interferences are not allowed, even if it is to guarantee the Champion's safety. So, unless you give us the go to rescue you, there's nothing we can do about the trial."

"... got it." She grimaced, ignoring the mental images the warning gave her. Kaeya gestured to touch the ceramic, guiding her hand so her fingertips touched the ceramic.

"Good luck, Miss Lumine."

She opened her mouth to thank him, when everything spun. She felt her hand glue itself into the vase, the sheer force of it sucking her limbs into a dark hole until all of her body parts folded into each other and flew into oblivion. Lumine felt her insides shake, wanting to puke her lunch, but as fast as it came, the sensation left. 

When Lumine finally felt her toes touch the ground, she builded the courage to open her eyes(when did she close them?). Instead of the tent she was before, now she stood on a stone platform that seemed that it could be destroyed with a few hits. She couldn't see the ground from there, a lot of clouds and fog covering her view from how high it was. The winds blew aggressively, making her hair whip in her face leaving a bit of a sting in her cheeks, and her clothes couldn't be tamed on her body. She was suddenly glad that she chose a more practical outfit for this trial instead of the blue skirt from Beauxbatons uniform. 

Her thoughts were rudely interrupted by a roar. A loud, excruciating cry that echoed in every bone she had in her body. She couldn't exactly place it, but somehow… It was familiar. A painful and lonely sound that fell deaf to the void. From the deep bottom of the abode, Stormterror charged upwards, his wings cutting through the clouds and leaving behind harsh currents of pure power. Lumine covered her eyes with her arm, but even so, it was impossible to ignore the sheer beauty of the King of the Skies. 

Fuck. She had to fight it.

[purplestrawberrywerewolf]

Sparring and girlfriends

Chapter 3 of Raya and her brother oneshots. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31347410/chapters/77516774#workskin

3)

Sparring and girlfriends

“I swear, your brother hates me, Raya”  

“My brother does not hate you Namaari. You know how he is, he can be a bit hard to read”

“No, I’m sure he hates me”

Raya rolled her eyes as Namaari listed on about how Quan hated her. “’Maari, I think you need sleep” she excused. Namaari rolled her eyes. “No, Raya-”

“I’m not hearing any of this” Raya walked out the kitchen as Namaari sighed. No, she knew Quan had it out for her since they became Kumandra again. It began when her and Raya were starting to become friends again. Whenever she would hug the princess or even give her a kiss on her cheek, her older brother’s eyes were fixated on her, almost as if he was planning his revenge.  

Even when she wasn’t around Raya and was just in Heart in general, he would send a few glares her way. And when they started dating, it got worse. He would purposely hide her things or when he and Raya were sparring and Namaari wasn’t far from them, he would ‘accidently’ throw his spear at her, barely missing by a hair. “Sorry, Namaari. Didn’t see you there” he would say almost mockingly.  

She knew he hated her. No, DESPISED her. She knew it. But every time she would bring it up, Raya would roll her eyes. “You’re just being dramatic” she says.  

Namaari walked out the kitchen to find Raya when she almost ran into someone. “Sorry, I-” it was him. Quan looked at Namaari with irritation before turning into the kitchen, making sure to shoulder bump her as he did.  

She took a deep breath before going into the kitchen where the prince was. “Why do you hate me?” She demanded. Quan was pouring himself some soup when he heard her.  

“I don’t” he answered simply. Namaari scoffed. “Yeah, okay that’s why you’re always giving me glares right? Or always making sure you make my visits miserable?” She asked irritated.  

She knew Quan was losing his patience. “Fine.” He placed the bowl down and Namaari’s heart skipped a beat in nervousness. What was he going to do? Hit her? Fight her? What?  

“The reason I don’t like you is because of what you did. Yes, I know everyone has forgiven Fang, but I’m having a hard time. Especially because you hurt my little sister in the process of breaking the dragon gem”

Namaari stayed quiet as Quan explained. “And now, not only are you back here, but your dating my sister now. So now, it’s twice the paranoia” he said. Namaari scowled. “What, you don’t trust me?” She asked. Quan glared. “No, not at all. I don’t trust you with Kumandra, and I don’t trust you with my sister. Now that you’re dating her, now I gotta keep an eye on you to make sure you don’t hurt her. Because if you do, so help me Namaari, I will make sure you wish you were never born” he growled the last part before walking out the kitchen, leaving a shocked Namaari.  

*

“He threatened me! Can you believe it? And when I told Raya, she got mad and walked away and hasn’t spoke to me all day. What do I do now?” Namaari ranted as she paced back in forth in the Heart guest room. Her Serlot Mai was lying on the floor in front of the large bed as her rider ranted,  

“I need to do something”

“Do what?”  

Namaari yelped when she heard a voice appear behind her and noticed Sisu. “Sisu” she greeted as she bowed. The dragon laughed. “No need for that. I just wanted to see what was going on. Who are you talking to anyway?” She asked.  

Namaari glanced at her cat. “My...cat” she answered. Sisu nodded. “Okay, so what’s going on?” She asked. Namaari sighed. “Quan hates me” she revealed. She expected a shocked reaction from the dragon but instead she shrugged. “Yeah, everyone knows that” she said.  

Namaari’s eyes widened. “What?” She asked. “Namaari. Everyone knows that he isn’t a big fan of you. But the thing is, I’ll help you” she offered. Namaari raised an eyebrow. “How?” She asked.  

“Look, the thing is, you don’t need Quan to like you, but you need him to respect you” she explained. Namaari nodded in interest. “So, challenge him for Raya’s hand” she said. Namaari’s eyes widened. “What? B-but we’ve only been dating for a year”

“And he’ll be hating you for more. So, do it. Challenge him and make him respect you, and boom.” She explained. Namaari thought for a moment. This was a good way to ask Raya, and to have Quan’s respect. “Okay, let’s do it”

*

Quan fell to his back with an “oof” before a foot set lightly on his chest. “Too short, eh?” Raya stood above him as she pointed her sword to his chin. The older sibling chuckled before he pushed the blade with a gloved finger.  

“Touche, Ray” Raya removed her foot before leaning down and helping the taller up. Raya groaned as he ruffled her hair. “Stop! It took so long to get this look” she complained. “Oh shut up” he laughed.  

“Quan!” Both siblings looked up to see Namaari standing in the middle of the training grounds. Raya raised a brow. “’Maari? What are you doing here?” She asked.  

Namaari swallowed a lump in her throat. “I-I came to see your brother” she answered. “What? Why?” She asked. Namaari drew her swords. “Quan! I challenge you to Raya’s hand!” She yelled. Gasps of bystanders rose.  

Quan glared at the Fang princess. He felt a tug on his arm and looked to see Raya. “Don’t” she pleaded. He shook his head. “I have to” he took a few steps toward the princess. “So be it” he answered. Namaari felt her arms shake in nervousness when she realized everyone’s eyes were on them.  

Soon, they both ran at each other, their swords clashing and creating a spark as they did. Namaari twirled and knocked the prince off his feet and he landed on his behind before looking up at the girl in irritation. Namaari kept herself from flinching as he stood up again, and their swords clashed before she went at him but he jumped and flipped over her, and landing behind her. Gasps lit up at the action.  

Namaari felt sweat on her brow as they fought. She could feel his anger and hatred toward her through their fighting, his blows getting stronger while hers got sloppier by the minute. She dodged a blow before getting up and try to swing at him with one of her swords, but he caught her wrist and snatched the sword out of her hand and kicking her in the chest, making her fall on the ground.  

She landed on her back as the prince of Heart hovered over her. “Give up princess Namaari” he practically spat. He raised his sword when another knocked it out his hand. Both prince and princess looked over to see who had done it and saw Raya holding her father’s sword as a look of shock and anger, along with some sadness painted her features.  

“That’s enough! What is wrong with both of you?!” She demanded, her breathing getting ragged and heavy from emotion. Quan looked at his sister in shock before glancing at the Fang princess. “I just want you guys to at least tolerate each other. Is that so much to ask for? W-why can’t we have a nice dinner without you trying to rip out her throat and you trying to fight my brother?” She asked them both. She then put her sword back in its holder.  

“Talk to me when you’re mature” she finished before she walked out the training grounds, leaving both lover and brother behind.  

*

Namaari sat on the balcony of the palace as the sun set. She replayed the scene in her mind. Her and Quan fighting, and Raya stopping them before storming out the training area. She leaned against it as thoughts raced her mind.  

“Hi” she turned to see Quan standing next to her. Namaari glanced over. “Hi” she answered. Quan sighed. “I’m sorry” he apologized. Namaari looked over in surprise. “W-what?” She asked.  

Quan chewed his bottom lip before repeating it. “I said, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for always glaring at you, and sending you threats. It's just...” he trailed off before he continued with a deep breath.  

“Raya’s my baby sister, and after the Druun hit and we were alone for 6 years, I made it my job to protect her. Especially when you were chasing after us when she stole the Fang scroll” he explained and Namaari listened. “After everything, even though I know she’s 18 and grown, I can’t help but see the little 12-year-old that was always with me growing up. And now that you guys are serious, I know you guys might take the next step and... get married. And I know it’s supposed to be a dad thing, to get worried about their daughter, but I'm making it an older brother thing now. I love Raya, she’s my sister and I only want to protect her” he paused. “But I also want her to be happy. And if being with you, makes her happy, then so be it. You have my blessing to marry her” he finished. Namaari’s eyes widened. “Wow...thank you, I honestly thought you would fight me until the death” she chuckled. He let out a small laugh.  

“Hmph. I would, but I don’t think my sister would be happy with me killing her girlfriend” he joked. Namaari laughed. He stuck out a hand. “Friends?” He asked. Namaari smiled before shaking his hand. “Friends” she said. “Also, my statement still stands. If you hurt my sister, I’ll send Tuk Tuk after you” Namaari giggled. “Okay, I’ll remember. But we should probably talk to Raya” she suggested.  

*

“Are you guys done?” Raya asked while reading a book. Namaari and Quan stopped walking in shock. They found Raya at the royal library when they went to look for her. They were walking towards her, when she had spoken up. “Uh, well yeah. We’re done fighting each other. We realized that your feelings also matter and we’ll do our best to at least tolerate each other” Quan explained. Raya placed the book down and looked at the two. “You better” she said before getting up and pulling both warriors down for a hug.  

“I love you guys” Raya whispered.  

“We love you too”

…...

“Quan stop glaring at Namaari”

“I’m trying!”

[ailuronymy]

Book Club: Tallstar’s Revenge, chpt. 37-45 overview.

Two highly professional gravediggers observe the job ahead of them:

“I'd like to congratulate us both on finishing this godawful book! A whole super edition in five weeks. They said it couldn't be done, but we showed them. “ - S

“Yes! It's truly miraculous that our brains are intact still.” - K

“So glad it's over, though.” - S

“Should I grab the shovel?” - K

“Yes, it's time. Let's bury this corpse.” - S

In this final week of reading Tallstar’s Revenge, we will be thinking about these final nine questions. Well done for making it this far! We hope you’ve enjoyed the ride. 

When you’re ready, consider sharing your thoughts with #ailuronymy book club and see what other readers are thinking!

1. First impressions?

K: It's bad! It's bad. It's all bad and I'm not surprised by any of it. K: I was actually expecting there to be more bullshit in the end, but I was almost... let down? By how underwhelming it was? S: Some moments surprised me a little but like... these did not spark joy. K: It was so boring. S: I have that same note: huge anticlimactic fuckery at the end. K:  If you're going to torture me, you might as well make it interesting, Erin. K: Throw in a wild plot twist or something. K: Get me going. K: Make me feel alive.

2. How did you feel reading this section? K:  Mind numb, head empty. For like, at least three chapters I read them and then failed to register anything important for the notes. It just dragged on. S:  More bored than I expected to be! I thought it'd at least ramp up a little, but it very much did not in any meaningful way and really petered out with a sad little "wuh-wuh."

3. What chapter did you find most interesting/moving/effective, and why? K: Chapter Forty, seeing all of the clanmates that I'd been missing for half the book felt so satisfying. I missed Dawnstripe, Heatherstar, Barkface, and Hopkit all so much. The only good bit. S:  I feel that. S:  For me, I think in terms of sheer pleasure, it has to be the echoes I saw from turn to dust all that I adore in Talltail swimming in a time of crisis. K: Yes! S: It made that passage I wrote feel retroactively so much more intense and significant, which I love.

4. What chapter did you find least interesting/effective/most frustrating, and why?

K:  The final chapter, Chapter Forty-Seven. That leader ceremony was so bad and I hated all of it. K: The Shadowclan battle was also mind-numbing. S: I think it's got to be the jump from first apprentice to leader ceremony. That's so much life we don't see, which given how goddamn long the book took for the rest of his very boring life is a travesty. S:  I tend to take some umbrage with Starclan whenever it shows up in canon, but in this particular case, the way that his leader ceremony is handled--especially by Palebird and Sandgorse--is horrific. S:  I also think it's appalling that Sandgorse offers a life of forgiveness, but never once asks for it from Talltail, unless I'm mistaken? S: He thinks he can embody forgiveness, but doesn't have the humility to admit to the things that he had done wrong by Talltail. Egregious.

5. Is there a passage that stuck in your mind–for good, or not-so-good reasons? What is it, and why did it stand out? S:  I think for me, this is Sandgorse's everything in the leader ceremony. I think I'll just [my whole rant just now + thoughts on forgiveness]. K:  I had two specific quotes from this go that fit I think. K:  First was: "I guess Clan cats aren’t used to leaving home.” Jake sounded amused. “I know the feeling you’re having. The nagging pain, the tug in my pelt and paws? I get that whenever I’m away from my home too long.” “Really?” Talltail blinked. “Why?” “Every creature needs to belong somewhere,” Jake told him. “Your paws know where that is, even if you don’t.” K:  Just the phrase of "Every creature needs to belong somewhere" felt so genuine and sweet coming from Jake, and I think could have felt so much more impactful if the themes we've recognized were more evident in the story. K:  The second was: “Talltail!” Dawnstripe leaped from the Meeting Hollow. “You came back!” Delight lit up her eyes. Talltail stood still as she raced to meet him. “I couldn’t stay away.” She stopped in front of him and gazed warmly into his eyes. “Then my training wasn’t wasted.” “It was never wasted,” he meowed softly. “Not once.

S: YES K: Partially because I will always be soft for Dawnstripe, but also, the genuine tenderness between her and Talltail in this moment felt so real and so earned. K: This is what I wanted from Bluestar and Stonepelt. S: I've said it before, I'll say it again: mentor+apprentice relationships For Life. K: Talltail saying that his training with Dawnstripe was never wasted, and then immediately transitioning into him encouraging and being a positive role model for Deadkit? K:  Ugh. It's so good. S: Loved it.

6. What other non-Warriors (or Erin Hunter affiliated) books does this one remind you of? Are there themes, symbolism, or storybeats in this novel that made you think of other stories as you read it?

K:  Oh, great question. K:  Oh shit, you know what. S: Hit me. K: We've got a Book Club classic coming at you. K: The Knife of Never Letting Go, by our mutual bastard Patrick Ness. S: You know, I was thinking about More Than This. But mostly because of how much I hated it. K: TKNLG's big theme revolves around like, what murder does to you and what it feels like to do an unspeakable act that you can't retract or replace. Revenge and anger become a part of you and you've got to deal with that. K:  And it's been ages since I read it, but I feel like that makes a lot of sense for this book. Todd and Talltail both spend a book with things being taken from them and wrongs being done to them, and it makes them so angry and hurt and desperate that eventually they go "Okay, yeah, murder would be a solution here." And when it comes down to it they both get to make that choice, of what they want to put out into the world and what kind of man they want to be. S:  I like that. I haven't read it myself, but I can definitely see how those themes talk to one another. S: I don't think there's a particular story I can pinpoint that is similar to this one, but I can think of stories that echo what I'd like this story to have leaned into more. S: Being about forgiveness and family trauma, it reminds me both of The Goblin Emperor and also the How To Train Your Dragon films? Especially the first film, I think. That whole undercurrent of absent mother, disdainful and frustrated father, queer-coded and different kid feels very present in Tallstar's Revenge. S: However, I think HTTYD does that a lot better than this book, by a considerable length.

7. Did this novel (or the experience of reading it) change your perspective on anything, either within the world of Warriors or outside it? What do you think about differently now?

 K: Hm. I think it's certainly limited my excitement on reading any future Super Editions books. They all seem to be just the same garbage plot wrapped with slightly different bows, and that's both disappointing and relieving. S: I feel you on that. S: I think for me, the single biggest shift is that it's changed how I think of Tallstar. For me, he was probably my favourite leader--or one of my favourites--growing up reading the books, and he came across often as wise and relaxed, and then made that final defining mistake. S: Having come back and read this, I feel that the book stripped a lot from the character in a way that wasn't constructive. I don't feel like I know him better, but I do feel like I respect him less. And I think that's a monumental failure of a prequel. K: Tallstar had such a specific presence in the original series, and this book just really takes a lot of that away and replaces it with something worse. S: It does. And that's disheartening to me. S:  Of course I can and will kill the author myself and take my place on the throne of canon, but you can't unknow details of a character. So that does change things. I don't have the same fondness for Talltail, now that I know he spent so much time being unadmirable and stupid and boring. S:  I recognise that your twenties is like that for most people, but like. Doesn't mean it's worthy of a narrative. S:  Kind of makes me think of Albus Dumbledore, to swing back around to Joke Rowling? S: Like, despite and sometimes because of how phenomenally jank and flawed that magnificent man is, I love Albus Dumbledore. I always have, ever since I was first listening to the tapes. And part of that is knowing his past--knowing that he struggled figuring out what was right, knowing that he fell in love very young with someone whose ideology became incompatible with his core beliefs and virtues. But I think you can allude to past mistakes and show growth without having to delve into it, if that makes sense. S: If I read about teen Dumbledore being like "hmm maybe wizard supremacy is good" for several chapters, there's a strong possibility that would stain all my readings of him into the future. I can know he did something, without needing a front-row seat. K: Yeah. S: And I feel like the crux failure of Erin Hunter's super editions is they don't have the delicacy or sense needed to know what needs to be told and what needs to be shown. S: Because sometimes, showing is worse. K: Being shown like, all of this, was worse than not. S: Nearly all of this book could have been summary.

8. Last week, we talked about predicted endings for the novel. In light of that, how do you feel about the ending? Was your prediction correct–and do you feel that reflects well on the narrative, or poorly? (i.e., is it good that you could guess, or are you disappointed by the result?) How important is it for an ending to be “unguessable”?

K:  We hit the nail on the head and I am not surprised at all. S:  I would say we were basically correct, but it brought me no joy. K:  Yeah, it felt bad to read and go "I already knew this but sure, disappoint me with what you have to say." S: That's not to say I would have been overjoyed if there had been some bizarre twist, because I don't think twists or shock endings are inherently good storytelling. K:  They're not. They've gotta be handled well to make me feel like, "Fuck yes, this is wack and I want more" K:  And like, you can predict an ending and still have it be satisfying! K:  That's just called successful foreshadowing. K:  But what we did was like. Just have the sad, knowledgable wherewithal to know exactly what kind of inane and soulless bullshit Erin would pull. It's not foreshadowing if it's just "you're a bad writer and you're going to reach for the easiest tropes to tie up your story without any thought about what makes it good" S: As a general rule, I think you should be able to predict endings based on the tone and emotional themes of the story. For instance, a story that starts with someone getting thrown out of their house by their unloving family should, ideally, rectify that by ending with that person having either found a new loving family and/or revenging on the previous bad family. Sometimes both! S: If you're going to start an arc, you should finish it in a satisfying place. If you start with a murder being discovered, you should have a denouement at the end. S: So... I guess Erin Hunter's ending is... fine, in that light? S: Their narrative is honestly very muddled, so it's not super easy to actually see what the through-line of the story is. The story starts with a prophecy about Talltail leaving, so really it should end with his triumphant, enlightened return... but then it keeps going. K: It just drags on and so much of it feels weightless. S:  It feels like they're juggling a lot of themes and ideas, but they're not really doing any of it well enough to be impressive. While I'm reading, there's always this deep uncomfortable sense of anything could be dropped at any minute. A good performer of any kind makes you feel safe in their hands, not lowkey on edge. S: It's like watching amateur stand-up.

9. In your opinion, what is the most important moment or event in this final chunk of story, and why?

 K:  I guess the cliche answer would be to say "Tallstar choosing to return to Windclan", but like. I think that really is the most important part of all this. S:  I think it's actually choosing not to kill Sparrow. K:  Oh, I mean. Okay that's fair lmao S:  Because I think he probably could have gone back after he killed Sparrow and everyone still would have been basically fine about it. It didn't seem like anyone cared enough to try to stop him leaving, and frankly the clans as Erin Hunter writes them are mad blasé about murder. S:  But I think in order for Talltail to retain like, some moral worth as a character, it was vital (if super inevitable) for him to not kill Sparrow. K:  Absolutely. K:  Can you imagine if he had, though. K:  Like, if he'd pushed Sparrow off the ledge and went "sick" and then Sandgorse's ghost showed up to razz him with airhorns like 'YOU IDIOT SON, THAT WAS THE WRONG CHOICE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DISAPPOINT ME AGAIN' S: Om.  S:  [that one video of the guy screaming above the mountains] S:  That's Starclan whenever the living make a bad decision.

Bonus question: choose a different character from Tallstar’s Revenge and briefly imagine what this story would be if they were the protagonist instead.

K: Hm. I'm torn. Barkface, or maybe Reena, would be interesting to me. S:  I think Reena's experience would be super interesting. K:  I think you could tell a really interesting narrative with her. S:  I'm sort of thinking Shrewclaw? Like, he's such a dick and there's very little about him that's redeemable, but like. This is also true of Talltail for a lot of the book. S: And I guess an external clan perspective of Talltail from someone who actively dislikes him could be kind of interesting! It'd definitely be a totally new counterpoint. K:  Yeah! Especially given that they end up kind of being... foils? A little? I think it could be super neat to like, see Shrewclaw reprimand Talltail for being so focused on revenge, and then suddenly becoming revenge-minded himself and then having to grapple with that hypocrisy. K:  Either by going "My feelings are different, I'm not like you," or going "oh shit oh fuck we're the same and now i feel all sorts of ways about it" S:  I think the low-hanging fruit for why Shrewclaw is such a prick to Talltail is just plain homophobia, you know? But that's so boring, so I'd definitely want to tap into like, the inner world of Shrewclaw and swing it a different way. S: See Talltail through his eyes, emphasising everything Shrewclaw doesn't like about himself. Which becomes so tasty when you later think about Mudclaw doing something similar. S:  Shrewclaw has to grow from hate and jealousy to grudging respect and kinship within the clan, and then Mudclaw grows from outright respect to total adoration. It's an interesting intergenerational trajectory.

Final notes.

S: God, can we rewind a moment to the whole Sparrow bullshit. K:  Oh 100%. S:  Talltail obsesses over this for like, at least twenty chapters. And then two lines of dialogue and he's like, "I'm cured, my dad was a hero the whole time." S:  “It’s what Sandgorse would do.” Now that the rage had gone, Talltail wondered how he could ever have thought of killing Sparrow. Had grief taken away all his faith in the warrior code?” MY rage is still right here. K:  Literally one of my notes is: K:  Talltail straight up telling him he’s here to kill him like a coward. Like not that I WANT him to be a murderer, but god damn, just do it! K:  If you're gonna spend an entire fucking book yelling about how badly you wanna kill a guy then just! Don't make me wait this goddamn long! Do it!! K:  And yeah, just. Redeeming Sandgorse. BLeughghelfuf

S:  Okay, another point of rage: Talltail literally dissolves the goodwill between the travellers and the clan. K:  Y E A H S:  Like, years of peaceful gathering, destroyed. S:  Note: "This dude literally just ended years of peace over his petty revenge quest" K:  I do find it hilarious though that Talltail goes "Hey we should leave," Reena goes "Hm?? No you dont?" and then Sparrow comes in with the most uncomfortable, exhausted expression saying "No He's Right They Really Should Be Going And Should Never Come Back Thanks," S: I'm also so pissed that when Talltail showed up, the travellers were like, “Warriors and kittypets don’t belong with rogues” AND YET you stay for a whole month or more in clan territory? What ripe fuckery is this. K: YEAH IT MADE NO SENSE S: Everyone's just ambiguously racist enough to use it as an excuse whenever they don't want to do something.

S: Also: we called it re: Reena, although the story was actually less obnoxious than I was expecting. S: “There was sympathy in the she-cat’s mew, and Talltail suddenly wondered if Reena had been hoping that Talltail would be her mate: that they’d have kits and travel together. Had she started to imagine a whole new life ahead of them?” Ew.  K:  i was gonna say K:  We really did call it. S: Way to project, Talltail. S: "I guess she's in love with me and I'm breaking her heart by leaving because of the elaborate future she's imagined of our strong, brave kits and--" calm down, boy, she didn't say any of that. K: Yeah, like. Keep it inside, buddy.   K:  There was a lot of very wild Jake/Talltail shit going on but I'm going to drop this from my notes first before dipping into the bits I did like: K: Jake saying “oh that drive to kill wasn’t REALLY you” is VERY “what if I date this unhinged maniac man so I can change him and make him better because I know who he is deep down” and that is VERY unsexy of you, Erins, K:  Jake... my boy.... S: Yeah.  S:  I'm just going to keep pointing at the advice I gave him in previous Book Clubs. Respect yourself, king. K:  I did briefly look at the disastrous mini-comic at the end of the PDF and I do love that he's canonically a chubby king, though. S:  We do love that. A cuddly boy. K:  He's shaped like a friend! S:  But yeah, if these cats were people, Talltail is some skinny closeted runaway with some serious esteem issues and a kind of volatile and disrespectful pattern of behaviour. S:  And Jake is the cute bi boy next door with a supportive dad with apparently a solid sense of self and value, and I find that kind of a jank combination? It feels like it'll either lend itself to basically "adopt a stray" style "fixing" someone else, which isn't a great relationship dynamic, or Talltail dragging Jake into his mess and drama. And it's just difficult for me to imagine what Jake sees in Talltail. S:  If the relationship was just a bit more balanced--Talltail bringing something of value to Jake beyond "adventure"--I could believe it more. K:  Meanwhile, if Talltail retained his "soft, shy poet boy who's just looking for a place to be accepted and flourish" attitude... S: YES 

S:  I got so mad when Talltail's like, "I'm going to kill a guy," and Jake was like, "you can't!" and Talltail's like, "if I was back home, I would have probably already killed by someone by now," and Jake's like, "yeah but that's different, warriors killing each other for Survival is fine." K:  IT ISN'T S: And I'm like, whoa, slow down, I want to talk philosophy right here right now. S: It's a genuinely fascinating conversation that I want canon to have a lot more, but they just... glance over it.

S:  Pivot for a moment to the gay part of Jake/Talltail: I was surprised by exactly how heavily they implied it. K:  Me too!!! S:  I thought it'd be a lot less than there was, and a lot more oblique. So that was a pleasant (? is any part of this pleasant?) surprise. K:  And in the final comic they say that Tallstar sees Firestar like the son he would have had (with Jake).  Which. Is gay. S:  Mad huge gay, for sure. K:  Their final "oh, what if I stay with you!" parting scene was wild to read. And on Tallstar specifying that Jake is someone he loves at the very end. Like hot damn S:  But I Lost My Whole Mind. Because of one line. I read it and involuntarily galaxy-brained with the power of song. I can't find the full quote right now BUT it was basically Talltail and Jake talking right before Talltail leaves to return to the clan. S: And Jake's like, "you know what you have to do. Listen to your heart.” K: YES S: And I was HIT BY A TRUCK S: by this song S: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCC_b5WHLX0 K:  OH FUCK YES S:  Which honestly is so good, and also hilarious, because I have fond gay memories of this song from my teen years. S:  So I know we were saying the very long slow lame end was boring and anticlimactic, but there were a few things that did in fact spark joy.  One was--despite his name and the rampant ableism--Deadkit. K:  YES K:  I have in my notes: K: "I would die for Deadkit." and then "Apparently Deadkit would die for me" S: Hopkit sat up straight, quivering with effort. “Still as a stone, right you are!” he mewed. “Barkface, carry on!” Bless. S: MY SON S: MY BOY K;  And Talltail finally being like? Not an asshole, and treating him well and encouraging him.  He really did feel like he was emulating Dawnstripe in a wholesome way. S:  I KNOW. S:  It honestly made me feel so good about the story I've planned out, but I can talk about that after. S: I also loved that Talltail swam. <3 K: Yes.  S: I was there just elated, thinking about Mudclaw's final moments. And how this story actually ties in so well with that one. That's nothing really to do with Erin Hunter, but it was nice for me. It made the two feel resonant and in conversation with each other in a way I truly hadn't expected. K:  Oh fuck also, two extra from the notes K:  "Talltail’s heart began to race. “I can’t go home!” He stared in panic at Jake. “They won’t want me! I broke the warrior code when I left my Clan. They’ll drive me away again!” — On the one hand: I understand that his fear of being driven away/not being accepted stems from like, 90% of the interactions in this book. But also: THEY LET YOU LEAVE, everyone agreed! Nobody drove you out!" S: Talltail: "I'll go if I must, I understand, you need me to leave--" The rest of the clan: "uhh dude you said you wanted to go." S: Makes me think of people who get really pissed when they're like "I said I'm fine, why didn't you ask me more about how I was feeling because I was clearly Not Fine and Lying to you." S:  And it's like... I trusted you to tell me the truth. Don't play stupid games. K: Yeah! Like, if you want to be consoled or helped, be honest! I can't read your mind!

S: Palebird is just a full on mess in this book, huh? And it's really unsatisfactorily handled.  S: Sandgorse gets obsessed over for... the entire book. Palebird, equally bad parent, doesn't really get any kind of meaningful resolution with Talltail. K:  I misread when Talltail first brings the kids into camp, and fully thought that Palebird recognized Talltail and chose to ignore him in favour of her kits. That sadly isn't actually far off from what happens when she does recognize him. K:   He just goes "oh she died and in my leader ceremony she makes me feel like she always loved me and i never should have doubted her" S: I was so furious that her bit was like "a mother's love for her kits" and he's like, oh I can't believe how stupid I was for doubting her. S: She abused you, dude. S:  Being like, "lol jk" after she's dead counts for Nothing. K: It’s awful.  S: "I always loved you," said Palebird. "I just never wanted to interact with you at all when I was alive and I attached all my grief and trauma to your existence, which made it impossible to enjoy time around you, and I never even bothered to get help for myself or you, and I was happiest when you weren't in my life and I could focus on my other family. So I guess I didn't actually love you. I just felt like I probably should have, but oh well." S: I am as angry about her as I am about Sandgorse. K:   Yeah, she just somehow gets a free pass because "that's just how moms are!" -Erin S:  "Mums can say they love you and you have to believe them." K:  What kind of mother did you have/are you to your kids, @the Erins collective. I want to know. S: I KNOW K: Like, please answer for science. K:  I KNOW WE'VE ROASTED SANDGORSE THIS ENTIRE TIME BUT K:  THE NOTES S:  GET HIM S:  GET HIS ARSE K:  “I give you this life for forgiveness. No death need ever be avenged. Forgiveness brings peace far more surely than vengeance.” Talltail felt his ruffled fur smooth, his claws retract into his pads, his breath come steadily. Mercy was his, and always would be. “I’m sorry you had to learn the hard way, Tallstar,” Sandgorse meowed. — HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO MURDER A FICTIONAL CAT S:  YES YES YES YES S:  I was literally about to grab the same note. K:  "im sorry you had to learn the hard way" WHOSE FUCKING FAULT WAS THAT S:  “I give you this life for forgiveness. No death need ever be avenged. Forgiveness brings peace far more surely than vengeance.” It is a fatal mistake to conflate forgiveness with pacifism. K:  It's just. K:  Like I knew it was going to be awful, I knew this moment was going to happen, but just to see it and see the phrasing. K:  "I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way" is just the ultimate slap in the face. You abused and abandoned and neglected this kid. You did this. You were a ghost for 70% of the book and could have told your son that you "died a hero" and stopped him from being an absolute asshole. YOU DID THIS. S:  What peeves me is that I personally believe forgiveness is something you have to do for yourself, and not for other people. A lot of the time, bad people in your life won't ask for your forgiveness and don't deserve it. K: Yes!  Forgivesness isn't earned, forgivesness is given. K:  It's up to you to give people that forgiveness on your own terms, whenever and however you choose. And if you go "I'm not giving this to you" you don't have to! It's for you! It's your choice! S: But all your anger and hate and misery inside will burn you out like acid, so sometimes you need to go, "you're never going to earn my forgiveness, but I am choosing to forgive what you did so I can move on with my life and grow." S: It's why "forgive but don't forget" is a good thing to remember. You can let go of self-harmful anger without ever losing the lesson that person taught you, which was stay the hell away from people like that. S: That's the conversation I want to see happen around forgiveness in this story. K:  Talltail deserves so much better than any of the story we were given. K:  And like. Forgiveness through that specific lens is so compelling. S:  I know. It's something I'm deeply invested and interested in.  K:  It's so engaging, and relatable! It's messy and nuanced and full of a lot of good shit. S:  Yeah, like, and what happens when the person you resent or distrust tries to make efforts to atone, but they always fall a little short, or don't grow the way you need them to?  How do you forgive that, but still choose to walk away, knowing that in their narrative, you're the bad guy? K:  It's hard.  Knowing that they see you as the bad guy is like, the fucking toughest.  s:  It's extremely hard and I think there's so much space in this story for that exploration. K:  It makes it so easy to want to go back in for seconds and explain yourself to try and get them to understand you, even when you know that like, they're not going to and never will.  And it'll just hurt you more to try than to move on and be a better you for it. S: And being able to forgive yourself is I think a massive underrated lesson. K: Yes! It's beyond hard to try and be gentle with yourself and have compassion for yourself sometimes, especially regarding a messy scenario like these. S: I mean, all of this is way out of Erin Hunter's range, but like, ugh. What could have been. K: Yeah, absolutely. K:  Also I'm always here for young upset queer kids growing up to become Better & Cooler & Sexier than you, so don't try any shit dad, S: Anyway! That's it! We did it! K:  Yeah! S:  Honestly this is such a dumb book but it always feels like an accomplishment to get through another Book Club with you. K:  I agree. K: <3 S: <3

[prettyboyreid]

the story (iv)

(a girl and a boy) (a boy and a boy) (me and my friend)

OC!Potter x Marauders, OC!Potter x Nephew!Harry

As Harry Potter gets older, his aunt makes sure he never forgets about his parents or his uncles.

Based on the song The Story by Conan Gray

Warnings: Mentions of death and violence

Word Count: 7186

When Lucy Potter saw the tawny owl perched on the open kitchen window promptly at noon on July thirty-first, 1991, she felt a pit in her stomach growing bigger and bigger.  She obviously knew this time would come, but the thought of her nephew leaving and going off to school scared her.  

It scared her that she wouldn’t be able to protect him from whatever could come after him, wouldn’t be there to console him when he came face-to-face with his first bully, and wouldn’t be there for him to help him whenever he needed any advice. 

But she knew that she had to send him to Hogwarts eventually. 

It was the safest option for him. 

Maybe even for both of them.

“Is that for me, Aunt Lucy?” Harry asked excitedly, pulling Lucy out from any of the thoughts she had.  She looked down at him with a small smile, nodding before handing him the thick, parchment envelope with his name written in loopy handwriting that she could never forget. 

He ripped it open immediately, not bothering to even look at the warm, crimson wax seal or the school crest printed on the back in dark black ink before he pulled out what would be one of the most important letters he had ever received.  

Lucy couldn’t help but smile as she watched his face light up as he read the letter silently to himself, leaning against the kitchen counter as she looked down at him.  “What does it say, bug?” she asked, despite still having the exact words her letter said engraved in her brain. 

Harry looked up at her with a wide, toothy grin, before he looked down at his paper to read her what the letter said. 

“Dear Mr. Harry Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. 

 Term begins on September 1st.  

 Yours Sincerely, Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress.”

Lucy smiled down at him and pushed some of his dark brown hair out of his face, watching as he looked up at her with wide, animated eyes.  “I’m gonna go to Hogwarts, Aunt Lucy!” he exclaimed, which only made her chuckle softly.  

“You are!  And you know what I think?” she asked, lifting up her nephew and setting him down on the countertop next to her.

He giggled a bit as he looked up at her, shaking his head a bit.  “What?”

“Well, I think that you’re gonna be a Gryffindor, just like your mom and dad,” she said, tapping his nose with a small smile

This comment made him light up like a Christmas tree.  “You really think so?” he asked, looking down at the letter before beginning to read over the books and supplies he would need before the first of September.  

“Oh, I know so.  You’re just like your parents, I don’t see why you’d be anything other than Gryffindor,” she explained to him, glancing over his shoulder to look down at the list so she could get an idea of where they would need to go on their next shopping trip in the Wizard World. 

Harry just smiled, completely full of bliss at the whole situation, before he leapt off the counter.  “Can we go shopping for everything today?” he asked hopefully, giving his aunt pleading eyes as he looked up at her with a smile. 

She grinned but eventually nodded, kissing the top of his head gently.  “You’ll have to get ready quickly then, bubba; there’s a lot we’re gonna have to get and it’s already noon,” she told him, but that was all the confirmation he needed - he practically bolted up the stairs to get to his room and get dressed to leave.

-x-x-x-

The shopping trip didn’t take as long as they had expected, especially considering all of the different supplies that they needed and how picky Harry was with getting his quills (“You don’t get it, Aunt Lucy.  I have to have a quill in every color!”) and how many wands Harry had to try out before he finally found the one that chose him, as Mr. Ollivander had put it.  

He even had the pleasure of meeting Rubeus Hagrid for the first time, who was absolutely delighted to see him for the first time since he delivered Harry to Lucy’s doorstep ten years ago.  He was so delighted, in fact, that he insisted on buying Harry an eleventh birthday present, which happened to be a beautiful snowy owl that he saw in the window of the wizard pet shop.   After glancing through Hogwarts: A History, Harry quickly landed on the name Hedwig for his new pet. 

Once they had everything that the young boy needed for his first semester, they made their way back into London and decided to take the train home instead of the Floo Network.  Now, they were sat on said train, with bags and boxes carrying every possible thing Harry could need surrounding them and the seats beside them.  Luckily, they were the only one’s on at this hour. 

Harry looked fairly tuckered out from his long day of shopping, resting his head against his aunt’s shoulder and keeping his eyes closed.  His breathing became so slow and steady, Lucy almost thought he was asleep, until he piped up after a long while of silence.

“Do you remember going shopping with my mom and dad for school?” he asked curiously, his eyes still closed as he awaited an answer from his aunt. 

Lucy smiled gently at the thought and nodded, leaning her head back against the window of the train.  “Yeah, I do.  Mostly your dad, though,” she answered aloud finally, sighing gently as she looked up at the ceiling.  “His favorite place to go was Gringotts Bank, because he liked the ride down to our vault,” she told him with a weak chuckle, running a hand back through her hair.

“What about my mom?”

She smiled softly and looked down at him, now noticing he was looking up at her with his usual curious gaze.  “She loved going to Flourish and Blotts.  She would always grab books that she didn’t even need, just in case she got bored and wanted to learn more about anything,” she told him, pushing some of his brown, curly hair out of the way of his glasses so she could see his sage colored eyes.  

She didn’t think she could ever put into words how much she loved and hated that he was a perfect mix of his parents. 

“Harry, I need to tell you about something,” she said after a few moments of silence.  His gaze never left his aunt’s anxious face, though for a bit she couldn’t look at him without second-guessing her next few words.  “About your mom and dad.”

Harry tilted his head slightly as he listened to her, but didn’t interrupt her despite his blossoming curiosity at her comment.  He just looked up at her, his full attention on her as her focus was on the poster on the other side of the train that suddenly seemed more interesting than explaining what had happened to his parents.

But she still knew she had to be the one to explain it to him.  The last thing she wanted, and that he needed, was to have some third year telling him what happened to his parents on his first day of classes and traumatizing him for the rest of the year. 

“On Halloween night, just after you turned one, your parents…” she started, swallowing thickly as she looked down at him.  “Your parents didn’t just die, Harry.  They were killed.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed a bit as he listened to his aunt, frowning as he listened to her.  “Who killed them?” he asked her after a few moments of a somewhat uncomfortable silence, his eyes meeting hers timidly. 

“Well, uh, he’s a very powerful wizard, and in the wizarding world, we don’t want to say it, so we call him You-Know-Who,” she explained, pushing some hair out of her nephew’s face a bit as they spoke.  

“Do you know what happened, Aunt Lucy?” he asked, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he kept his gaze on his aunt. 

“I, uh…” she started, not sure how exactly to explain everything to him, until all she could think of was the only way she ever told him anything about his parents - a story. 

“Let me tell you a story, bubs,” she said, giving him a small smile and kissing him on the top of his head.  He just nodded softly in response, leaning against his aunt once again as she spoke.

“On October 31st, I was actually with Uncle Padfoot at my house.  Uncle Moony was off doing work for a group they were a part of, called the Order of the Phoenix, and Uncle Peter said he was going to his mom’s house for Halloween to help her hand out candy to the muggle children.”

-x-x-x-

“Luce, you can’t just expect me to watch these muggle movies with you all night!  They’re all about killing people!” Sirius exclaimed, getting some more popcorn from the kitchen as they finished up their most recent movie, Halloween.  

“Just two more, Pads; Friday the 13th and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  They’re good movies, I promise,” she told her friend with a smile, getting up and beginning to clean up a little bit since Sirius had to be holding the popcorn during every single jump scare that movie had.

“My birthday’s in four days. Little Prongs.  You should at least let me pick the movie,” he protested, turning on the stove as he put the popcorn overtop of the flame on a burner.

Lucy just rolled her eyes, getting another bottle of butterbeer from the fridge for her and one for Sirius as well.  “No way, Sirius.  You’d pick a stupid movie like… Sleeping Beauty, or something.  Halloween is for horror movies.  You can watch your drawing movies any other day of the year,” she said, tossing a bottle to Sirius as she twisted off the cap of her own with a grin. 

“Okay, first of all, they’re called animations, not drawings.  Have you learned nothing from Lily’s rants about these things?  Secondly, Sleeping Beauty can be scary.  Maleficent is pretty scary when she turns into a giant dragon and tries to kill everybody,” Sirius corrected her, continually mixing the popcorn up so it didn’t burn as he opened his bottle of butterbeer.

“Shut up, Sirius,” she said with an eye roll, before she raised an eyebrow as she noticed a snowy owl sitting on the windowsill of the kitchen, just above the sink.  She slowly moved towards it, taking the letter from its beak and thanking it before seeing it was addressed to her and Sirius, with the Hogwarts crest stamped on the back of the envelope.

“It’s not a terrible movie, anyway, it has a good story-”

“Sirius, shut up,” she repeated, holding the letter up to show him.  He turned around to look at her and his eyes widened a bit, flicking off the burner and setting his drink down before practically rushing over to her.

“Open it,” he said, shoving his hands into his front pockets as he looked at the cream colored envelope anxiously.  Lucy just nodded, pulling the flap up from the wax seal and pulling out the thick parchment.  She read over the loopy, thick letters quickly as her eyebrows furrowed together, reading the letter again once she finished.

“What?  What is it?” Sirius asked almost impatiently, taking the letter from her when she didn’t reply to him.  He read over the letter quickly and his face matched hers, chewing on the inside of his cheek.  “What does this mean?  ‘We’ve received intelligence that James and Lily might have been attacked’?  How would they not know?” he asked, running one of his hands back through his hair as he looked over to his honorary younger sister.  

“It means we have to go see for ourselves, since Dumbledore obviously won’t,” she answered, setting her drink down on the counter and heading towards the front door.  “Did you ever figure out how to make your motorcycle fly?” she asked, shoving on a random pair of shoes on her feet as she got to the door.

He just nodded softly, grabbing the keys quickly from their hook and going to grab his shoes too.  “Yeah, I can get us to a straight shot in like, ten minutes, at the most?” he told her, shoving the letter into his pocket before Lucy led the two of them outside.  

The motorcycle was parked in the driveway behind Lucy’s car, and Sirius had two helmets resting on each handle bar - one for him and one for any passenger he might have.  He handed one to Lucy as he put his own on, getting on the front seat as she climbed on behind him and tightly wrapped her arms around Sirius, her eyes squeezing shut as they quickly ascended into the air, smiling ever-so-slightly as her mind wandered back to the time in their sixth year when the boys forced her onto the back of her brother’s broom.

Sirius would have broken multiple speeding laws if they had been on the road instead of in the sky, as they made the trip in barely eight minutes.  Once he parked the car in the driveway, they saw a large flash of green bursting through the top floor, a scream that made every hair on their bodies stand up straight, before it was dead silent.  

Both Sirius and Lucy knew what that meant, and it made both of them stand still for many minutes.  You wouldn’t even know if they were breathing, until the quiet, barely audible sounds of a young child crying hit them all of a sudden.  They both threw their helmets off and ran inside, the door nearly off its hinges when they arrived. 

They were about to run upstairs to find where their nephew was, but the body of their brother, the one person that they both trusted and loved most in the entire world, was flung onto the staircase, like he was just a ragdoll at the disposal of his killer.  Sirius, to Lucy’s surprise, was the first to break over this sight.  She gave a few sniffles at first, tears beginning to stream down her face as her brother’s face lolled back onto one of the steps beside one of the many toys she had spoiled her nephew with, but Sirius fell down to his knees in front of him, shaking his shoulders a bit as he cried. 

“It’s not funny, Prongs,” she heard him mutter out between choked sobs, fixing his glasses that had gone askew during his fall.  “Come on, it’s not funny, James, wake up,” he muttered, looking around him a bit before he slumped back against the banister, letting another cry leave his body before he looked back to Lucy, his cheeks stained red with streaks of hot tears running across them.  

“He doesn’t have his wand,” he said to her quietly, running his hands across his face to wipe away the tears.  When he noticed the confused expression on her face, he sniffled and looked back down at James’ pale face.  “H-he didn’t have his wand.  He went up against him with nothing,” he told her with a frown, shaking his head a bit.  “How could he be so stupid?”

“He was probably trying to protect them,” Lucy tried to assure him, resting a careful hand on his shoulder before he shook it off.  

“Can you… can you go find them?” he asked her quietly.  She just gave him a silent nod and carefully moved around him and James, being extra careful not to step on either of them, before she slowly ascended the rest of the stairs.  

She peeked into every room, every closet, just to make sure there was no one hiding anywhere, and to make sure Lily didn’t put Harry somewhere safe where You-Know-Who couldn’t find him. 

All that was left for her to check now was the nursery.  The nursery she and Sirius had just finished up a few months before for Harry’s first birthday.  She knew they had to be in there, but that didn’t mean it was any easier to go into that room. 

Especially when she saw a hand with the all-too-familiar engagement and wedding rings she helped her brother pick out for her.  

She pushed the door open a bit farther, swallowing thickly as she saw her sister-in-law, one of her best friends, sprawled out on the floor.  She knelt down next to her as she let out her own grieving sobs, sniffling a bit as she looked down at Lily’s face.  She almost looked like she was at peace, like she had lived the life she was supposed to and it was fulfilling, like she was ready for what had come to her. 

She looked up after a moment to see Harry peering down at her from his crib, tears streaking his cheeks as neither of his parents had answered his cries.  She stood up and wiped her own tears away, letting out one last sob as she picked up Harry from the crib.  She frowned a bit as she noticed a lightning bolt-shaped cut in his forehead, though it didn’t look as it had ever bled.  She ran her thumb across it gently, and it didn’t seem to hurt him at all.  She kissed his forehead gently, moving to head downstairs with him when he heard a shout coming from the street.

“Peter!  Peter Pettigrew!” she heard Sirius’ voice yell, along with a crack of a spell being cast.   Lucy ran to the window to look out at him, frowning a bit as she saw him running into the street, where Peter was standing, while other different neighbors began to pour out of their houses, curious as to why there was so much noise.  She genuinely had no idea why Peter was there, but the fact that Sirius was upset with him didn’t make her feel any better.  She moved away from the window and began to head downstairs, though she froze in front of her twin brother's body as there was another flash of light, much bigger than the one she had seen earlier with Sirius from the driveway.  

She carefully made her way out to the front door, moving past it slowly before she saw Sirius slowly standing up from a crouching position.  He was looking around and looked rather confused, holding tightly onto his wand as he looked around to see twelve people surrounding him, and what looked to be a large finger by his food.

“Sirius, what the hell have you done?” she asked him slowly, looking around with wide, scared eyes as she held Harry close to her chest, who had slightly calmed down by now. 

“I don’t- I didn’t do this, Luce,” he said, looking around before looking back at her.  “I swear to Merlin, I didn’t do anything. I-I tried to hex Peter, that’s all, I swear, then he just… he just made a blast and everyone went down,” he tried to explain, his hands shaking slightly as he did his best to tell her everything that had happened. 

Lucy chewed on the inside of her cheek and swallowed again, instinctively turning Harry away from him.  “I can’t… I can’t have Harry around this, you know that, right?” she told him quietly, shaking her head a bit again.  “I’ll find Dumbledore and talk to him.  Just… you just stay here,” she said, holding tightly onto her nephew as she quickly apparated to the village of Hogsmeade, though she could have sworn she saw an auror arrive in Godric’s Hollow seconds before she had.

The second she arrived on the famous cobblestone streets, she found herself face-to-face with the headmaster himself.  He had his hands folded together in front of himself, giving her a sad smile as he stood eerily still.  

“Lucy.  I’m sorry to hear about Lily and James.  It’s terribly awful,” he told her, shaking his head gently.  “However, on the plus side, however it may have happened, Voldemort was defeated when he went to the Potter’s house in Godric’s Hollow.  Everyone can sleep a little more peacefully now,” he told her. 

“That doesn’t change the fact I don’t have a brother now, Dumbledore,” she told him with a frown.  “Or that my nephew doesn’t have any parents.  Or that he lost one of his uncle’s tonight, too. A-and that there’s twelve dead muggles outside my brother’s house!”

“Oh, yes,” he said, clicking his tongue a bit and shaking his head softly.  “One of the portraits in my office told me.  Terrible news.  The report came in just before I arrived to meet you,” he told her.  “Sirius Black always seemed much more promising than that.”

“I thought so too,” she told him quietly, looking down at her nephew before kissing the top of his head gently as his head was curled up into her shoulder.  “What do we… What can we do now?” she asked him, still looking down at her nephew, as if he was the only good thing left in her life, like he was the light at the end of a dark, gloomy tunnel.

“Well, it’s best that Harry’s put in with his Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, as for you, since you were always so gifted in your studies here at Hogwarts, we’re prepared to offer you any position you’d seek; Potions, Astronomy, Ancient Runes-”

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?”  Lucy asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she frowned at Dumbledore’s comments.

“Oh, you could have any position on our staff you’d like, as a sign of our condolences.  I remember you always said you wanted to be the youngest professor at Hogwarts,” he said with a soft chuckle, before Lucy put her hand up as if to silence the headmaster.

“No.  About Harry,” she said firmly, standing up a bit more straight.  “You’re not taking my nephew from me.  I’m not letting him go stay with a family who wants nothing to do with him or has never even met him.  The last time James and Lily even saw either of them was when they invited Petunia and Vernon to their wedding, and they practically spat in their faces.  They loathe anything that has to do with magic.  He’ll be suppressed from this life for his entire life.  They probably won’t even let him go to Hogwarts when he’s old enough,” she defended him, holding the boy close to her chest with a frown.

“Lucy, there is magic beyond your control that is protecting him now that his parents are gone, and Petunia has the blood of his mother -”

“I don’t care if she has the blood of Merlin himself, I’m not letting you take him away from the only family that loves and cares for him,” she interrupted him, taking a step back from Dumbledore again.  “And I won’t fall for your bribes to keep me occupied from him either.  I’d rather be a damn waitress at the Hog’s Head Inn before I’ll give up Harry and work at Hogwarts,” she told him, switching the toddler onto her other hip as she spoke.

Dumbledore stood silently for a few moments, just looking at Lucy as if she hadn’t said anything, with his hands folded neatly in front of himself. 

“You’ll be putting him at a great risk, Lucy,” he finally said slowly, letting his hands release from each other and letting them fall down at his sides. 

“I’ll protect him better than I was able to protect my brother,” she told him without hesitation, resting her hand on Harry’s head as she continued her little stare-down with Albus Dumbledore, not wanting to show any possible sign of weakness. 

After a few more moments, he simply nodded and gave her a small smile, one that almost looked like he pitied her.  “I suppose I can’t stop you, in that case,” he said slowly, looking down at the one-year-old she held tightly to her chest.  “For my own curiosity, will you be able to live off of your parent’s and James’ will?” he asked, his head tilting to the side, his long, white beard following suit.

“If not, I’m sure I could get a job at the Ministry.  They always need people to do paperwork,” she answered with a shrug, gently patting her nephew’s back as he stirred slightly.  Dumbledore only nodded once again, his mouth still playing host to the crudely sympathetic smile.

“Very well.  Remember, you’ll always have a home at Hogwarts if you need it, Miss Potter,” he added before turning on his heels and beginning the slow walk back to the castle.  He only made it a couple feet, maybe passed by a single building, before there was a large crack that rang through the air, and within a moment, he was gone.  

Lucy just let out a soft sigh and kissed the top of her nephew’s head, shaking her head a bit before deciding it was time to take him back to her house so he could get a proper sleep, one where he wasn’t interrupted by someone trying to kill him or people trying to take him away from his family. 

So, she apparated back to her little cottage house in Torpoint, which she soon after figured that she would need to give up in order to have more room for Harry as he got older, though it wasn’t a concern for her at the moment.  She just knew he needed rest. 

Once she was inside her small house, she looked at the time on a grandfather clock that was pushed into the corner of her living room, which read 2:26.  Lucy just sighed and looked around her living room, trying to figure out where she should put Harry for the night.  She didn’t want to put him on the couch, because he could easily roll off.  She didn’t have his cot set up for when he would usually spend the night, and she didn’t want to risk waking him after the long night he had already had.  So, she settled on carrying him up to her bedroom and letting him take her bed for the night.  

She wasn’t going to get much sleep, anyway.

She set the toddler down on her bed so his head was rested on a pillow, setting one pillow on either side of him so he didn’t turn too far one way or another.  He seemed to settle down almost immediately and fall right to sleep again, like nothing had ever happened. 

Lucy grabbed a picture frame off of her bedside dresser and sat on the edge of her bed, looking down at the photograph with a frown.  It was a picture of her, the Marauders, and Lily on their last day of Hogwarts.  They were all smiling and they looked so happy, like nothing bad was going on around like them.  Like nothing bad could ever happen to them.  

She looked at the photograph for a while, even after the glass covering was stained with her tears, and long after she knew she should have tried to get some sleep.  It wasn’t until she heard her nephew babbling from behind her that she wiped her cheeks and set the picture frame on the bed beside her, looking around and giving Harry a small smile.  “What’s up, bug?”

“Pong?”

Lucy raised an eyebrow at the odd word he had spoken to her, wiping her eyes with her sleeves before moving up to the head of the bed where he was laying.  She pushed some of his growing hair out of his face, her stomach sinking as she saw the scar on his forehead again; she knew she’d never get used to seeing that mark on his innocent face. 

“What’s pong, bubba?” she asked softly, picking him up and setting him in her lap.

“Pong,” he repeated, frowning up at his aunt as she didn’t understand him. 

She just shook her head a bit, chewing on the inside of his cheek as she tried to comprehend what he was asking of her.  “I-I don’t know-”

“Where Pong?” he asked her with a huff, folding his small arms across his chest. 

“What do you mean Po-... oh,” she said, giving him a bit of a frown as she silently tried to figure out what to say to him.  He obviously wouldn’t understand what had actually happened, though she knew he probably wouldn’t remember what she even told him, and she’d have to re-explain everything all over to him every few days.  She just gave him another sad smile, letting her hand fall into his lap.

“Pong and Mama had to go away, bub.  But you’ll get to hang out with me for a little while,” she told him softly, hoping it was a good enough explanation for the young boy. 

Harry frowned for a moment before nodding, then standing up and leaning against his aunt.  “Play now?” he asked her, to which she just smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

“Sure, we can go play.”

-x-x-x-

Harry was silent for a few moments as he listened to her, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he looked down at his lap.  

“I almost didn’t live with you?” he asked, looking up at her finally after a few more moments of silence. 

Rather surprised at his choice of question after what she had just unpacked onto him, Lucy simply nodded.  “Yeah.  Dumbledore really wanted you to live with your mom’s sister and her family, but you hadn’t even met them yet, and I wasn’t about to let my favorite nephew go and live with some random people,” she told him, kissing the top of his head softly as the train came to a halt outside the Kingston upon Thames stop.  

They gathered up their bags and everything they had bought down in Diagon Alley, scuffling out of the empty train car and onto the platform.  Harry looked down at his feet as he walked out of the train station with his aunt, and down the street a few blocks to their house.  He did his best to just to stay silent - whether it was only because he didn’t know what to say or if he didn’t want to say anything about wizardry in public, Lucy didn’t know.

When they finally reached their little house in the far corner of a far street, Lucy unlocked the door and led him inside, closing the door and locking it behind the two of them.  After he set his bags down in the middle of the living room, he turned around to face his aunt again.  “Why did he have to kill them?” he suddenly asked.

Lucy was unsure of how to even respond to the question, sitting down on the couch and looking over at him as she gave him a sad smile.  “Well, the Order heard about the possibility of a prophecy about a boy born at the end of July, one who could be his equal,” she explained to him.  She didn’t entirely know what the prophecy was about, in all honesty; she just knew it was possibly about her nephew.

“Then why did he kill them?  They didn’t do anything wrong, Aunt Lucy,” he said firmly, frowning a bit as he hadn’t gotten the answer he was looking for.

She nodded softly, letting out a soft sigh before tapping the space on the couch next to her.  “I hate to say it, bug, but I’m afraid that’s just the way the world works sometimes.  It’s not all funny, pretty, and sweet like I make it out to be in your little stories.  There’s a lot of bad things that happen - which I tried my best to keep you from growing up - and that’s one of the bad things.  Your mom and dad tried to protect you, and that meant they were in his way, and he was willing to do anything to get to you,” she explained to him, kissing the top of his head again.

He just leaned his head against her shoulder as she finished, frowning for a moment before wrapping his arms around her as tight as he could.  She rested her hand on his back and patted it gently, silently wishing she could do more for him than just comfort him.  

“Is it possible to miss people you don’t even remember?” he asked quietly, looking up at his aunt with glass, red-tinted eyes, which seemed magnified by his little round glasses. 

Lucy nodded softly, pushing some hair out of his face a bit as she looked down at him lovingly.  “Of course it is,” she assured him, kissing his forehead gently before he snuggled up to his aunt again.  “I miss them too, you know.”

He nodded gently as he rested his head against her side, sniffling a little bit as he listened to his aunt.  He stayed in that same spot for what felt like hours to her, but she wasn’t complaining; she just combed her fingers through her hair to try to keep him calm.  After a little while, though, he sat up and sniffled a bit, wiping at his eyes with the sleeves of his shirt before he looked up to his aunt again.

“Thank you, Aunt Lucy.”

“For what, bubba?” 

“For telling me, I guess,” he shrugged, standing up and grabbing his bags.  “I’m glad you told me what happened now so I didn’t have to find out on my own.”

She just gave him a small smile and nodded, ruffling his hair up a little bit.  “No problem,” she said, grinning a bit as he bound up the stairs with all of his bags.  “Don’t try to use your wand, though!  I’m not gonna deal with you getting expelled before you’ve even gotten to school!” she called up after him with a small grin. 

She knew it was gonna be hell once he got to school.

She wasn’t entirely wrong, though.  On September 1st, she and Remus packed nearly all of Harry’s belongings into her car, since she didn’t want Harry to feel awkward with everyone else being dropped off with their big families and Harry only having his aunt.  The entire drive to King’s Cross Station, Harry wouldn’t stop asking either of them questions about what Hogwarts and everything associated with it was like. 

“Is the food good?”

“It’s really good, bubs; you’ll love the desserts.”

“How long is the train ride?”

“I think about nine hours, right, Luce?”

“If they haven’t changed anything, yeah.”

“Are the professors nice?”

“Most of them.”

“Who was your favorite professor, Uncle Moony?”

“Harry, if you ask him any more questions, there won’t even be a need for you to go; you’ll know everything about the school already.”

“Sorry Aunt Lucy.”

“...My favorite professor was Professor McGonagall.”

“Remus!”

“Sorry, Luce!”

They arrived at the train station at precisely 10:45 A.M.  Harry practically jumped out of the car, quickly grabbing the cage his pet owl was in and waiting for his aunt and uncle to grab his trunk, which was a little too heavy for him to drag himself. 

“Careful, Harry.  You don’t want to hurt her wings before you get the chance to send letters,” Remus warned him, getting out of the passenger seat and going round to grab Harry’s trunk from the back seat.  Harry just gave an apologetic smile, but still was practically jumping up and down as he waited for his aunt to come with them.  

Lucy grinned a little bit and grabbed his train ticket, finally getting out of the car and locking it behind her.  She ruffled up her nephew’s hair a bit as she finally began to lead him and Remus inside, smiling down at him as she watched him.  

“Are you excited?” she asked, looking up at the different signs posted up so they were headed in the right direction; contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t too difficult to forget where to go, especially when the train station is filled to the brim and it had been nearly fifteen years since she had been to the station.  

Harry nodded quickly, looking around at everything like he already was at his new school.  “I can’t wait,” he told his aunt with a bright smile, squeezing her hand a bit as they walked through the station.  

After a few more moments of walking, Lucy was able to pick out a large group of fiery red-headed kids, two of which quickly disappeared into a brick wall.  

“Weasley’s,” Lucy muttered to herself, to which Remus nodded gently in agreement, leading Harry over towards where they had seen the group.   The second the three of them got to the brick wall, the only two girls in the family were remaining. 

“Molly!” Lucy called out, giving her a bit of a wave as they got closer.

“Lucy Potter!  Remus Lupin!” she exclaimed with a bright smile, making her way over to the two of them before kissing each of them on the cheek.  “How are you two?  It’s been so long!  Do you still have that part time job at the Ministry, dear?” she rushed out quickly, resting her hand on her daughter’s shoulder.  

“We’re good, Molly.  I’ve still got the job down in the Department of International Magical Cooperation, but I’ll probably pick up a few extra hours now that Harry’s headed off to school,” she said, grinning down at her nephew with a proud smile.  Harry, however, just looked up at the new woman somewhat warily, despite how warm she appeared to be. 

“Oh, goodness!  Is it time already?  We’re sending Ron off today.  He just went through with the twins,” she told her with a smile, looking down at Harry, who now looked rather confused.  

“Sent through?  How do you get to the platform?” he asked, looking between the two of them.  

“Oh, it’s nothing, dear, you just go right through that wall.  It’s best if you do it with a little run,” Molly explained to him with a smile.  

He just nodded up at her before looking at his aunt.  “You’ll go through with me, Aunt Lucy?” he asked softly, to which she just nodded gently. 

“Good luck,” the youngest Weasley told him with a small smile.  Harry gave her a small nod and looked to his aunt again.  She counted down with him slowly, before they both made their way through the brick wall quickly, and it, quite literally, opened up a new world to the young boy. 

There were clusters of family’s bunched around the bustling platform, with handfuls of owls flying around overhead before they’d be cooped up on a train for the rest of the day.  Harry could’ve sworn he even saw a toad hopping past his feet at one point.  

As he looked around in wonder, he heard Remus bidding his goodbye to Molly and her daughter from behind him, before resting his hand on his shoulder as Harry admired the scarlet and black train in front of him. 

“It’s almost eleven, bug, you’ll have to get on the train soon,” Lucy said softly to him, before he looked up at her almost nervously.  She raised an eyebrow and knelt down to his height, to which Remus backed away for a moment to let them say their own goodbyes. 

“Are you sure I’ll like it there?” he asked his aunt quietly.  She smiled softly and nodded, pushing some hair out of his face.  She was a little relieved that was his only concern at the time.

“Of course.  You’re gonna meet a lot of great people that you’ll love.  You’ll feel right at home, I promise,” she told him, holding her pinky out to him with a grin.

He smiled softly and wrapped his much smaller pinky around hers.  “Can you write to me if I miss you?” he asked her quietly, like he was almost worried someone would overhear.  

She chuckled softly but nodded nonetheless.  “I’ll write to you every day if you want me to,” she promised.  He laughed quietly at this, before wrapping his arms around his aunt’s neck.  She hugged him back without hesitation, kissing the side of his head gently. 

“I love you, Aunt Lucy.”

“I love you too, bubs.”

After a few moments of them standing there like that, she stood up, glancing over to Remus and giving him a soft nod.  Remus took his time giving Harry his goodbye, and Lucy was almost positive she heard him telling Harry to say something to Professor McGonagall for him.  Harry just laughed and nodded, hugging his uncle tightly.  Remus hugged him back, sighing a bit before his nephew pulled away.  

Harry turned back to his aunt and took his ticket from his aunt, giving her one last hug.  “I’ll miss you, Little Prongs,” he told her with a smile.

She chuckled weakly and nodded, pushing some hair out of his face to get one last look at her nephew, her brother, and her sister-in-law for a few months.  She gave him a weak smile and kissed his head.  “I’ll miss you too, Baby Prongs,” she replied, leading him over to the train and helping him on. 

“You’ll do great, I promise,” she called after him as he got on, smiling at her through the open window of the train as it slowly began to pull away.  He waved at her dramatically until he couldn’t see her anymore, before shuffling into an empty car and quietly hoping someone would sit with him. 

Lucy backed away from the platform, standing beside Remus for a moment as she just lingered on the spot where the train was only moments before.  Remus rested her hand on her shoulder gently, giving her a silent, reassuring smile. 

“He’s going to be just fine.  You don’t have to worry about him,” he promised her, squeezing her shoulder gently. 

And he was right.  Despite missing her nephew, who felt like her own son at this point, she managed on when he wasn’t there.  She wrote to him every day as she had promised, sending him a bag of sweets every few days along with a letter.  He wrote back as frequently as he could, and every time she saw an owl on her kitchen window holding an envelope with her name written in blotchy chicken scratch that she would know anywhere, it never failed to make her smile.  Even though she let go of a big part of herself on September first, she knew it was for his own benefit, and he’d be better off for it. 

And because of that, all was well. 

[fiction-in-my-blood]

Obey Me! Brothers x MC’s Job HC

So this is a headcannon based on each brother’s MC having a job or experience in a field that would be somewhat benefit to them the most in work and play ;). Ya girl just wants to feel useful TT 

Warnings: The SLIGHTEST reference of NSFW in some of the HCs

~~~~~~

Lucifer: 

Okay, maybe an elementry school teacher wouldn’t directly help Big Brother Lucifer the most, especially when you were just out of supervised training, but you sure as hell can help keep some of his more troublesome problems at bay. 

Having to deal with overexcitable, emotionally unstable, and honestly frequently hyped-up-on-sugar children just out of infancy has given you a backbone, not to meant a glare that’s strong enough to stop everyone still, but not scare. 

Unless you wanted it to. 

Not to mention that voice. 

The range of your vocal cords could be heard even by Diavolo in his castle. 

You needed it, dealing with crying children and sometimes parents who thought their child couldn’t possibly bully the girl they ‘crushed’ on when you had seen it with your own eyes.

And even after grabbing everyone’s attention in a room full of strong personalities, you’re more than capable of turning it down a bit to explain what the issue is.

“Levi, you can’t chop off Mammon’s hands to stop him from stealing your things.”

“Don’t you laugh, Mammon! You’re not off the hook just yet. Give Levi his figurine back before I put Goldie in the microwave, hm?”

“Asmodeus, you can’t go around stealing my underwear! What would your mother think of this?”

“Beelzebub, you can’t eat other people’s food without asking. How would you feel if I went along and ate all your blackbelly newt legs and your monkey brain pudding?”

“Mammon, this is your last warning. Put the money back where you found it.”

“Belphegor, you need to stop sleeping on the floor. Mamo keeps tripping over you and I don’t think we can afford any more screaming in this house.”

“Mammon! Do I need to send you to the quiet corner again?”

“Satan, clean up your books or they’re going back on the shelf out of order.”

Your use of their full names definitely felt like their were being reprimanded by a teacher.

Even if you sometimes treat the younger brothers like children, which will often cause a few snickers, you can’t really help it when they act the way they do. 

Sometimes you get a little too carried away, on instinct threatening to cancel the end of year pizza party unless they start behaving, but Lucifer appreciates your attempts to restrain them all the same while chuckling along with everyone else. 

You may act before you think, but you’ve brought his family closer together. 

Mamo: 

Being a professional pocker player would be just too easy. 

That’s why it’s your weekend gig.

Besides from your backers and frequent trips to pocker tournements, you spent your nights, and sometimes at day parties, as a mixologist. 

It may not seem like much, but bartending has helped you nuture a skill to read people and help them talk out their problems.

Which is the only reason Mamo hasn’t been thrown into the fiery pits of hell when a revengeful witch comes knocking every now and then. 

You hear out his fraud victim’s troubles and show your understanding, wondering in the back of your head why, in Diavolo’s great Devildom, Mammon would agree to give away some of Satan’s incantations for a credit card that looked similar to Goldie?!

You manage to talk her out of taking his liver as payment and agree to help mix some potions you recently learnt at school, being a mixologist has helped in that regard as well.

A few times you’ve had to play some other demons in a game of cards in order to get Mammon back home safely. 

It was only when you beat Soloman that Mamo first noticed your professional-grade talent. 

You didn’t really want him knowing, you knew he wouldn’t be able to help himself but use you to his advantage, so you first said that it was a natural skill humans had- which no one believed and only made them all curious.

Eventually, you gave in to Mamo’s pestering and it was then you said you weren’t going to give him money. 

At first, he was a little offended you’d think he would use you like that, but, for once, he listened to everyone’s harsh words and understood why you had that idea. 

He was the Avatar of Greed, after all.

Ever since, he’s been working hard to show you he would never use you again.

Unless it was a life or death scenario with that one witch he conned a dragon’s egg from. 

Levi: 

It was impressive when you picked up Ancient Languages so quickly, but the otaku didn’t question it, at that time he didn’t have that much interest in you. 

Then you were able to annunciate those words better than Satan or Lucifer or Diavolo, but maybe you were a quick learner?

It was only when you nonchalantly offered him the latest, unreleased, series of a longer-than-necessary-anime-title did Levi think to ask. 

You were a translator in the human world. 

Had more interest in the words than the story, but that was enough for him to start treating you less of a normie and more of a fellow recluse like him. 

It didn’t take long after that when he realised you were THE MC. 

The MC who had translated most of the anime he watched, even though he didn’t need to read subs, you were stil famous, and not only for translating. 

You had dabbled in voice acting, mainly due to one conference call you had where the client asked you to voice for a minor character that would only be in for a few episodes of TSL. 

It was a disasterous when the character died, having been quite a noble and vicious knight to the Lord of Shadow- who, of which, the lord also liked.

You weren’t going to tell him the character was booted off because you weren’t comfortable voice acting anymore. 

However, he will have you read aloud lines he had found on a certain website where many like-minded fans wrote their own stories about the characters. 

Lucifer caught the skript-like paper when he saw the word ‘master’ printed next to a less than savoury subject the eldest brother would not allow you to be tricked into saying. 

Levi wasn’t too happy about that, ranting and raving how it was unfair and he needed to hear the Shadow Knight confess to the Lord of Shadow the way the fandom, and most of all, he, deserved.

You may have little clue what the animes your translating are about, but you never again reject the offer to have one of your own, walking to Levi’s room the second it reaches you in the mail and you spend practically all night binging on every word you wrote for him.

Satan: 

When you first came to Devildom, you were particularly overly-curious.

Maybe it was because you were in a knew place, surrounded by beings you once thought only existed in stories? 

Maybe you had that same respect for knowledge as Satan did? 

Well, it would be easy to think that if it weren’t for the types of questions you asked each of the brothers, as well as the angels, Soloman, Barbatos and even the Prince of Devildom himself. 

“What do you like to do on your days off?”

“Are you a tits or ass guy?”

“What’s your relationship like with your family?”

“Do you like men, women, or a bit of both?”

Every demon, witch, angel and whoever you met at RAD had the pleasure of being interrogated by you, your gracious smile and genuine concern for their answer coaxing them to tell you more than they would think to like.

When you wrote in that little journal, stock full of flyaway papers, the victim of your inquisitive nature would worry, for some reason, what you thought of them. 

Still, you never let anyone look, not until you had the perfect match for the client.

A matchmaker, that’s what you were in the human world.

You paired couples, looking for marriage or a short term thing, with their perfect better half. 

And you had been struggling to pair Satan with anyone.

“You have no interest in either of the sexes. How am I meant to find a girl for you when all you care about are dusty old books?” You muttered dismissively, speaking directly at the pages of your book, the two-page profile you had on Satan spread across the fine lined sheets. 

You had been so enraptured in you quest for love that you didn’t notice the warmth looming over you. 

“Who’s dusty old books?” The familiar teasing whisper graced your ear, way too close for comfort. 

You turned, slamming the journal shut, but it was too late. 

He had discovered your plan. 

You quickly explained that you were a matchmaker back home and it was hard to hold back. 

Even when you were with your human friends, you got carried away, pairing them with nice guys you met in the bar when you went on your weekly girl’s night. 

Satan laughed at first, who couldn’t find their own mate? 

Until he realised you couldn’t find anyone for him. 

You’ve never seen him combust into flames so quickly. 

You would be scared if you weren’t so annoyed. 

“This is exactly my point! No one will want to be with you if you get this angry all the time!” You pouted, not realising the brothers that had run in at the drop of the proverbial hat, frozen in the doorway as they watched you, a human, talking smack to a demonic Satan.

They had come to save you once they heard him roaring in anger, but you seemed to be coping just fine on your own.

It took both of you a few weeks to realise, the reason you couldn’t find him anyone is because you wanted him.

Asmo: 

You and Asmodeus had surprisingly philosophical conversations when you had only just met.

You would answer his teasing comments with very deep and personal questions, asking about his past relationships and how it made him feel to flirt with everyone he laid eyes on.

You had caught him off-guard a few times with your out of left-field inquiries.

One time, after you asked about any childhood trauma he may have had that could lead to his sexual nature, he actually got a little angry, losing his cool and throwing your question right back in your face.

He usually seemed to enjoy the strange back and forth, so you watched him devole into his demon-form with a startled gaze.

“I-I’m sorry, Asmo, I shouldn’t have asked that. Force of habit.”

You were blunt, distant and sometimes rude with your short questions, but when you told him those questions were something you were so familiar with they were a large part of your vocabularly, he had to know.

“How could that possibly be a habit?”

You were a relationships councillor. 

You spent your days with arguing couples, coworkers who just couldn’t get along, and the odd friendship that had been torn apart thanks to one sleeping with the other’s partner.

You weren’t used to dealing with overly-friendly cilents, most would be crying about how sorry they were or silent with stubbonness, so you wanted to put that professional gap between the two of you.

But you never intended to hurt him or rehash memories you had no right to know.

“I’m meant to help people, but I can’t even treat the people I care about right.”

Before you had arrived in Devildom, you were pretty much a loner.

You were ambitious, pretty much a recluse outside of work, mainly because anyone you talked to would also get your brain shrinking questions. 

“No human likes being asked if they really trust their partner.”

The self-deprecating laugh that left your down-turned lips in that moment pushed Asmo right back down to his usual laidback demeanor, imploring you to explain what you meant by that.

It was only right, you thought, you had been far too invasive for too long.

Asmo respected the work you told him about.

Even if long-term relationships weren’t his thing, or they hadn’t been until he met you, he understand that not everyone could live off the joys of primal lust. 

Most people needed a lifelong partner that understood everything they were, ever the dark, twisted parts of them.

But, he didn’t like you tales of the threats you received when certain couples didn’t make it through your counciling sessions.

One too many times had a brick been thrown through the windshield of your car or had been generously gifted a death threat in the mail.

They never worried you, you were used to people finding you odd and anti-social, but it did hurt.

You had only ever wanted to help.

From then, Asmo learnt the psychologist tricks you had up your sleeve, intending to use them on his brothers if they were being particularly secretive.

Especially when you were the subject of their conversation.

He would often bring you to parties, pointing out couples on the dance floor or groups of people who were meant to be friends, asking you who had sexual tension and who were on their last straw with their other half.

You told him time and time again that it didn’t work like that, that you couldn’t just look at someone’s face and defer they were a serial killer.

But body language is a hell of a thing.

Beel: 

Being a chef, you were often in the kitchen during the day, trying out recipes Mamo, Satan or Asmo had suggested to you.

Of course, they would often be pranks, potion recipes that would literally blow up in your face the moment you added the frog’s leg or eye of newt. 

But, even the smell of the fire place blazing brought the Avatar of Gluttony sniffing around.

At first, he didn’t care what you made, he always cleaned up the mess of your failed experiement made.

When you actually started acting sad when his brothers pranked you again, it was his time to step in.

Instead of leaving you to do your own thing and reap the rewards of your failures, he sat in a wooden chair much too small for him, bearing with the emptiness of his stomach so he could really teach you about the ways of his world.

He told you what you actually needed to make his favourite meal, which he had overheard you ask Mammon one time as you walked to class together. 

It was gross and difficult to learn how to cook with a cauldron and entrails of creatures, but you dealt with it because the look of pure, yet subtle, joy on Beel’s face when he ate what you meant to make was far worth the displeasure you went through to cook it.

When you got a couple days vacation from RAD, you somehow talked Mammon into taking you to the human world so you could buy real ingredients you were used to cooking with.

You wanted to prove to them all you weren’t as useless as you seemed when you first got there.

Of course, you would have to alter the recipes to the demons, but it shouldn’t be too hard. 

You were a trained professional, after all.

And you definitely proved them all wrong.

Plates of fine dining, fresh vegetables, cakes and sweets.

Abundances of foods of varying cultures and spices. 

It took you a whole day to make it all, but the stiffness in your back as you watched the demons, angels and Soloman alike walk into the banquet hall with looks of awe on their faces was enough to ease that pain.

You were exhausted and didn’t want to eat anything yourself, but that went unnoticed by everyone else.

Everyone else but Beelzebub, Avatar of Gluttony.

He pulled his attention away from the amazing food in his mouth long enough to see you sitting in your chair, hugging your legs to your chest and eyes closing a little longer every time you blinked.

You had never looked cuter, but he had never been more worried about you.

“You’re not going you eat anything?” His mouth was full of the fruits of your labour as he leaned over to grab your attention, continuing to shovel food into his mouth as he waited for you to reply.

“The best thing about my job is watching people enjoy it. I’m not hungry.” You yawned through a smile, letting your head rest on his shoulder as your heavy eyelids almost completely restricted your view of the show. 

Everyone finally seemed to be getting along.

Diavolo noted to himself he would have a few words with you once the dinner was over. 

Belphie:

“You’re a barista.” 

Soloman smirked as you two sat together in class, waiting for the ending bell. 

“No, I develop energy enhancers, which does include coffee. I literally make new, healthier products that help boost energy and motivation.”

Sure, your part-time job was in a coffee shop, but that was only to pay yourself through college. 

The course was nutrionism, paired with a course in chemistry. 

You had hoped to use your degree, when you did graduate, to make a product that didn’t cause heart attacks with the sugar content or make people stressed beyond belief on addictive caffeine. 

You were a tired teen and survived high school on coffee, but that didn’t do well with your heart. 

Now you had a medical condition and got even more tired than you did back then. 

Since you couldn’t have coffee anymore, your research was mainly for you.

That’s why, when you hung out with Belphie, sleeping, ironically, you couldn’t be more jealous. 

He slept and slept and slept, not a care to the centuries he was wasting doing so.

When you two got close, closer than he and Beel, you somehow managed to get him to test a prototype you had developed with the help of Solomo. 

Being the only other human, he actually understood your aims, even if no one else did.

The brother teased you about the fagility of man until you told them about your condition, showing them the medication you had to take everyday to keep your heart beating. 

The ones that did bully you, take a lucky guess, first unbelievably guilty, but you got them to pay you back by being your test subjects.

Often, they wouldn’t work, you were still trying to figure out what all these new potions meant and trying to work with the differences between demons and humans. Not to mention the strongest demons there are. 

When Belphie did get tricked into drinking the energy concoctions you made, and when they finally worked, he wouldn’t be off the walls like Mammon and Asmo.

He remains docile, talking for a little longer than usual, actually showing interest in what his brothers, and you, did.

It’s not like he was a completely different person, he was still your Belphie, but he had just that little more energy he needed to seemed interested in life as a whole.

When you did admit to him that you had been esstentially drugging him, he took a moment to compute.

MC, the first human he had trusted in so long, had been tricking him to stay awake longer?

To ignore the sin he repesented?

You quickly explained that you had tested it hundreds of times, several times on yourself, like a true scientist, and that you just wanted to spend more time with him, he managed to calm down, just a little.

He jokingly second guessed every drink you handed him from then on, but, honestly, he was happy you had used him like that.

The reasoning for it, for you two to be able to spend more time together, getting to no each other when he wasn’t half asleep or yawning at your every other word.

Mammon had invested in your business venture, but Belphie would be your top customer.

[usagi-mitsu]

This is something I never thought I would ever write – or would have even considered writing down even a few hours ago. But I feel like this needs to be addressed and I hope you all can forgive me for venting my feelings – about art, the reader/author relationship, art-theft, and the following consequence: deleted art.

And… this is also some kind of diary entry for me, to never forget.

About three to four hours ago, an artist who I truly admire, closed their account on Wattpad. Wattpad is not my personally preferred platform, simply because I’m not sure it’s ok for them to monetize an authors content the way they do – and that is a topic for a whole different discussion. But they had pulled their stuff from fanfiction.net a few years prior and (if it even was their account) even from AO3.

The last message they posted on Wattpad reads as follows:

“DUE TO PEOPLE CONSTANTLY TRYING TO STEAL MY FICS AND CLAIM THEM AS THEIR OWN, I HAVE REMOVED THEM ALL FROM THIS PLATFORM. VERY SORRY TO THOSE WHO HAVE READ AND ENJOYED THEM BUT ALREADY MULTIPLE TIMES MY WRITING HAS BEEN STOLEN AND IM DONE.”

 The author I’m talking about was called “Lusterrdust” on Wattpad and wrote the very popular Skyrim Romance Mod fanfiction about their Dragonborn Niamh and the mods main character Bishop. Their first story “Ranger of the Woods” covered the whole of the mod in about 52-53 chapters and told it beautifully: From when Niamh and Bishop first met in Riverwood (?), to them fighting side by side, him leaving her to go fight Alduin alone, them reuniting a few months later, the journey to Solstheim, the battle with Miraak and finally a small wedding far away from the public. The second story was called “Saviour of Tamriel” and was set about four years after the first one, with Niamh yearning to be a mother, while the Aldmeri Dominion was planning on slowly expanding it’s … well … dominion across the continent, with Niamh and the High King Ulfric receiving death threats, her actually getting pregnant and Bishop trying to keep his family as safe as possible. A meeting with the emperor Titus Mede was on the way and I think Niamh and Bishop were about to drop their baby boy Julian off with the greybeards to keep him safe, since the Dominion had already put a hefty price on the not even three month old infant.

 The reason for why I write this, why this is affecting me like this, is that Lusterrdust was the first author I ever interacted with: I wrote comments when I read the story and I left my impressions and came back to read it again and again. I even dropped theories in the comments, even though I knew the story was not yet one and when I left my ideas and theories at the end of one of the last chapters, they even asked me, if they could use my idea. And my comments were not there anymore, since I offered them to delete them – just so that nobody else would be spoiled by my … inspirational rants at the end of each chapter. (Which is why I assume Niamh and Bishop were in Ivarstead at the end of the last chapter – it was my suggestion to place the baby with the Greybeards. Who better to look after a baby, than a bunch of super powerful elderly men and an elder dragon..?

But aside from having a baby at the worst possible time, aside from Niamh and Bishop still trying to learn how to communicate with her being the Dragonborn and therefore a person of public and political interest, aside from a potential alliance with Titus Mede and a hopefully good ending for them all.. there was so much more: There was the sub-plot with Breezehome being remodelled to be an orphanage, Niamhs brother having been brainwashed by the dark brotherhood, Lydia and Farkas having a third baby, Vilkas being with a Mere (elven woman), the implication of Ulfric slowly growing old and openly admitting to wanting Niamh to be his High Queen …

There was so much yet to explore.

But the author stopped updating in 2018, when their grandfather died. Which was ok. And everything was still ok to this day. At least for me: Even though they did not publish any new content, I still had all those many chapters to read again and again in my own time, whenever I got to it.

And it inspired me. It inspired me so much, that I went ahead and dove head first into Elder Scrolls Lore. A few years back, I could name all the Daedric Princes (Sanguine is the god of tits and wine – change my mind) and tell you which of Tamriels nine gods ruled over which dominion and why the fight between the Elves of Summerset and the other peoples of Tamriel was utter religious bullshit.

It even inspired me to think about my own Dragonborn, a nord woman called Kahira van Rae, and what she would do in a situation like Niamhs. A train of thoughts, that lead to me having RP sessions with my friends via WhatsApp and hour long talks about the politics of fictional lands. It even made me call my new character in the next fandom I’d dive into “Shia Tamriel”. In honour of a story and fandom I had come to love deeply.

And while it has been some time since I last checked in with these stories, I never forgot them. I did keep on coming back, enjoying them again and again. And every time I read them, I discovered something new.

These two stories were important to me.

The author was important to me.

 And now, all of those things are gone, because someone apparently copied their work and posted them as their own.

And that’s what really gets me.

Some random person out there on the internet thought it was ok, to simply copy-paste another persons hard work and put their name on it.

And let me put this as simply as possible:

THAT IS NOT OK! NOT IN ANY WAY!

 Because of your selfishness, a few hundred people will never get to know the end of Niamhs story.

Because of your selfishness, a few hundred people will never get to reread the story.

Because of your selfishness, an author was hurt and annoyed so badly they decided to pull all their content.

You should be ashamed.

You stole someone’s precious art that they decided to share with the world and let me be clear – just because they shared their art, you are not allowed to simply make it your own!

 Copyright is an iffy topic in fandom culture, with different countries having different rules and different companies going after fan works in highly differing intensities. But it should be common curtesy to not simply steal another persons art! Be it literal artworks as in pictures or edited videos or cosplay ideas or written art like fanfiction!

If something inspires you, that’s great! But you always ask consent before doing anything with the art! And if asking consent is an entirely new concept to you, I’d like to ask you kindly to go educate yourself on it. It will not only pop up in fandom culture.

 To conclude this…

I’m just sad at this point. I remembered the story two nights ago and I jumped right back into it at some random point and read it. I even put up with Wattpads shenanigans like forcing me to log in to keep on reading or requiring me to download the app so that they can show me stupid 30 second long ads in between reading.

I know that the world is not ending because of this.

I am well aware of the fact, that it was just a story.

And I truly support the authors decision.

 But until they pulled all the content, until they deleted their account, I had always hoped to maybe one day read more about Niamh and Bishop. And Bragor and Julian. About their Ulfric and Ralof, Lydia and Farkas and their children. I had hopes to discover their Titus Mede and how they were going to resolve the conflict between Skyrim, the empire and the Dominion

But now I cannot even go back and reread the sassy exchanges between Casavir and Bishop. I will never again be able to experience Bishops anguish when Niamh receives an almost mortal wound. I’ll never again know the inner thoughts of the Dragonborn, who thought she was barren, getting told that she is pregnant.

 I think the author did the right thing. It saddens me nonetheless.

 So let me end this here with one last plea to everyone in every fandom out there:

Do not steal art.

 Thank you for reading.

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Love in a Fiery Place or Hot and Bothered

Summery: Lisa tries matchmaking. Never let her matchmake. See my (shamlessly self promoted) other fic, Just like Fire, for who the heck Volcana is.

It's been months since Lisa had seen her brother or Mick ever since they went on their time travel, earth saving mission and she was bored.

Sure she had pulled off her share of heists and gone on a few dates with her favorite, babbling engineer but jewelry and sex had it's perks for so long. Especially with Cisco having a job.

She really needed a hobby, but one evening after too much beer and watching Love Actually on Netflix she thought of a brillant idea.

Matchmaking! 

She could matchmake someone she knew and watch them act all blushy and idiotic. It would be definitely entertaining.

She could match up her brother, but Lenny would never go for it. Besides she couldn't exactly see her brother in an attractive way. The guy made cold puns and read Kant during his spare time. Who would go for such a nerd like that!

But Mick. Mick was an equally challenging prospect with his unhealthy obsession with fire, alcoholic tendencies and general unpredictablness. But there were lots of the pyros in the world, she just had to find one who would be willing to date him.

Unfortunately that was a lot harder than she thought.

After checking most dating sites, she found that most Pharos were either dead, in jail, old or jailbait or that they weren't super into it. Just a few trash can fires.

She needed someone who would be just as willing to burn a building down.

So she had to up the search a notch. And what better way was to hack into S.T.A.R. Labs. More specifically, Cisco accessing into S.T.A.R. Labs.

"Please..." Lisa pouted. 

"No no no. I'm not helping you find MICK of all people a date,” Cisco protested.

"Why not? Don't you believe in love conquers all? You redeemed me,” Lisa purred. 

"Hardly." Cisco snorted. 

"Very true, my corrupt little scientist," Lisa smiled, leaning over his chair and basically falling into his lap. "But love could get him off the crime paths he's been on.” 

"Then he can fall in love with a psychiatrist. Putting him with another pyro will only cause more crime." Cisco stammered as Lisa caressed his long hair

"Pyros can handle pyros. Psychiatrists are suicidal and it won't do any good if the girl dies of fear after two dates." Lisa pouted again, bringing her lips closer to his, ending with a nice smoldering kiss.

Plus three more after that.

"Umm what we're talking about?" Cisco asked dazedly coming up for air

"Files. I'm not going to let this go Cisco. I always get what I want,”  Lisa smirked

Cisco paused, "If I do this, I'M choosing the movie and the restaurant for our date."

"Fine! We'll go to that disco bar." Lisa rolled her eyes.

"Alright!" Cisco started humming Bees Gees as he typed away on the computer for pyro meta criminals.

"There's none. That's impossible. There really aren't ANY pyros in Central City besides Mick?l Lisa cried

"Guess they didn't want to steal his gimmick," Cisco shrugged, looking relieved

"Do you think there are any in the Starling city?" She asked "Don't know, it's more mercenary and assassins then metas." He answered

"Maybe there are fire aliens?" Lisa thought out-loud, 

"Only Earth 3,” Cisco shook his head.

"Earth Three?" Lisa froze. 

"Shit!” Cisco eyes widened "No, no, no. That's just some crazy dream I had. There's no such thing as Earth Three is like there being Earth Two. Totally stupid" Cisco babbled

"Take me." Lisa demanded Cisco started taking off his shirt.

"I like how your mind works. But no. Take me to Earth Three. Tell me all about it. Are there really such things as fire aliens?" Cisco groaned

"I'll do it myself. You know I will. So you can come help or I'll trash this place doing it myself" Lisa insisted

"We are so lucky that Caitlin and Flash are out today" Cisco groaned again "Yaaas"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- They had entered to Earth Three just as Supergirl finished saving a bus full of children. Once the reporters left, Cisco introduced himself and her as friends of the Flash. Lisa explained her mission to help Mick find love. 

Supergirl had been just as convinced as Cisco at the idea that love redeems but with a lot of wheedling and encouragement about second chances, Supergirl had allowed the idea of helping them.

"I think I know the girl perfect for Mick" Supergirl explained enthusiastically as they walked to the government building, DEO. "Claire Selton, code name Volcana. Born with pyrokenesis and trained to be a weapon by the government. She went rouge on them and used her powers to steal and cause crime. Superman had to put her on a deserted island in hopes not to harm any more civilians. But stay here. I'll be back soon." She left them in a plain white room, suitable for a noir style interrogation scene and waited. Five minutes later, Supergirl was back with a young thirty year old. The girl in question had long flaming orange hair that reached to her ankles in a messy braid. Her tan skin glowed brightly against her white bikini, her ambers eyes sparked with confusion and annoyance.

"No" Claire hissed, sitting down on the table. Lisa noted with pleasure that the metal table steamed and let out drifts of smoke when Claire touched it.

"No what?" Cisco asked.  "Supey told me what you want. My answer is no. I am not going to a totally different Earth for a guy I never even met. What is this? 1689? Supergirl take me back to the island I am missing my afternoon tanning" she demanded. "Oh oh well that's understandable but did Supergirl mention that this guy has a heat gun that radiates about 220 tons of fire power in a single shot" Lisa rattled off.  "It's 225 tons of fire power btw. Plus how many guys here can say they burned a house for the sake of watching it burn" Cisco added.  "And he's been practicing flame swallowing,” Lisa added.  "Claire.." Supergirl started calmly.  "It's Volcana to you.” Claire scowled.

"Volcana. You're not going to get married to him. Just one date and if you don't like it you can come back here. Besides aren't you tired of being alone in your little island?"

"I wouldn't be there if it weren't for you!" Volcana shot back.

"You were hurting innocent people!" Supergirl retorted.

"Well those "innocent people" we're hurting me. I didn't want to be a weapon but you all treat me like a bad guy because I am what I am.” Volcana ranted, flames suddenly burst from her hands.

Lisa and Cisco jumped back and Supergirl put on a defensive stance.  "And he will love you for it" Lisa put in.

"We have a lot of metas. They get what it's like to be used for their powers. Now Mick will get you even more because he understands how pretty the flames are. It doesn't have to be a date, just two adults talking, fellow pyro to pyro." Cisco said

Claire glared at them in silence, contemplating. "Fine, only for the sake of watching something burn."

The three nodded eagerly at each other. --------------------------------------------------------------- Claire changed into a more appropriate outfit of red leather top and black leather pants with combat boots as they left Smallville.

"Good luck," Supergirl gave a tentative thumbs up and left.

As the three went through the portal, Lisa interrogated Claire and was pleased to find out that she and Mick had a lot in common. Love of alcohol, way too graphic descriptions of explosions and fiery deaths, and had no filter when it came to humor.

"They are practically soul mates!" Lisa whispered giddily in Cisco's ear as they left the Earth One S.T.A.R. labs to Mick's abandoned apartment.

"Oh joy," Cisco muttered sarcastically. --------------------------------------------------------- Cisco had left immediately, stating he didn't want there as a witnesses for future villainy. 

Lisa settled Claire to the guest room of the apartment and waited for the boys to arrive. Claire had gotten bored so she sat down, turned on the oven and stared. Another pastime she shared with Mick. Lisa swore her face was going to break open if she smiled anymore. 

Oh this was going to be so good, and if it ended badly damn it was going to be more entertaining than the firework bomb Mick had set up for April Fool's Day. Leonard and Mick arrived at 7 pm. They didn't say anything about where they had been, they were just so exhausted and about to fall asleep but Lisa insisted on keeping Mick awake, slapping his cheek the whole time as he walked to the kitchen. 

"What do you want?" Mick scowled, shoving her hand away from his face.  "I'm about to change your life, Mick this is Claire" Lisa introduced "Claire this is Mick.” 

Leonard gave a questioning look to her but she just grinned. 

"Oh you gotta be kidding me. Look however she suckered you into this I'm not interested. Leave." Mick instructed Claire.

"Aren't you a charmer? I've seen midgets more handsome than you" Claire spat. 

"She's a pyro. Claire, show him" Lisa said.  Claire sighed but showed off anyway by blowing a kiss as her hand spouted fire like a dragon. "Where's smoke, there's flame. That's me. Volcana" Mick just stared in awe. 

"Heatwave" he lifted the gun from his belt, "Do that again, I need to try something.” 

Volcana complied, Mick shot his gun at the same time and it set the table on fire, and quickly spread to the oven. 

"Holy Shit!" Lisa screeched and grabbed the fire extinguisher taped to the door for emergencies like this, spraying it everywhere. 

"What the hell are you two doing" Leonard yelled but the two heat villains ignored. 

"Volcana huh?" Mick grinned maniacally, leaning against the charred table. "I like your heat gun. Sure could have used it on those cold Metropolis nights" Volcana flirted back, staring up at Mick. "I'll leave you to it. C'mon Lenny," Lisa shoved Leonard out the door. When she stopped by the apartment to drop off a six pack and to get her golden bra for her date with Cisco, she saw the living room an absolute mess with scorch marks in random places, a torched smoke detector on the ground, pile of clothes and the smell of smoke in Mick's room. 

She was good. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The following weeks just reeked of success. Claire stopped by the apartment regularly. There was a new headline everyday as the couple started fires and explosions around Central City for their dates, and Lisa had overheard their nicknames for each other. Fireball and Spitfire. 

Since it went so well she was even thinking of setting up the other Rogues like Trickster II. Maybe with some Metahumans that Cisco watched like Peek a Boo. She was once again considering setting up her brother but she had pick pocketed his phone earlier and saw that he seemed to have sort of "thing" with White Canary from his Legends team. Which prompted her to stalk any information about Sara. Purely for research, not that she wasn't worried about him getting hurt. Please Len was way too cautious for that to happen. 

At the same time the success of her match had come with a price. Due to their fire kink, the two had burned Mick's room, her room, the guest room, the living room and the kitchen was beyond repair. 

She had to crash at Cisco's place which was nice, but Leonard came also because his cold gun was in the threat of being torched at any second. Nor could he get any piece of quiet with the all the fire puns. "Not fun to hear them," Lisa taunted. 

"That's different. Mine are clever. Theirs are just about fire and sex. Some things I do NOT need to know about my partner." "Thanks for the nightmares," Lisa sighed as a "lovely" mental image entered her head. With them crashing at Cisco's place, Leonard resigned to glaring from the love seat while she and Cisco were on the couch. It was not helping date night. So it was up to her to save the apartment. 

She had entered the apartment expecting another scene of quite literal hot love but found more burning rage.

"You are weak!!!" Claire screamed, "You don't even have pyrokensis you just have a gun huh. I can start a fire whenever I want! You are nothing!" "You're just a hypocrite! Oh the government just wanted to use me" Mick mocked with a falsetto "Screw that. You're just as selfish as me. You just use your powers for petty thief but you could be better, so YOU ARE WEAK!" 

"You have nothing. No brains, no strength and yet you think the world would bow to your awesomeness. And you are the most impulsive idiot I ever met. You just forge along with no regard for logic or what we are suppose to be doing on our date. Honestly what am I suppose to do with you, tell me!" "You think you're so hot. Well I'm hotter, hotter than Cold." Mick sneered.

"I thought you didn't care about that!" Claire protested.

"In the middle of sex, yeah I do." Mick retorted.  "Well the TV was on, I happened to mention he was cute get over it!" 

Lisa cringed, ewwww!

"You also said the same about the police officer, Scarlet, the bartender..." 

"You are just jealous." Claire scoffed.

"JEALOUS! I'll freeze your ass in a place where fires die!" A loud crash sounded through the apartment followed by a explosion. 

Lisa scrambled out of the apartment and never looked back. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- After that incident, Lisa rationalize it was a natural lovers quarrel and that the two would work it out, therefore there was no need to tell anyone. That because of her honest assumption it was a lover's quarrel or her pride not letting her admit that her match might not have been as successful, it was up to anyone's guess but a phone call three days later confirmed the worst case scenario. 

It was the middle of the day and Lisa was online shopping using the money she stole from a heist earlier that month when Cisco called.

"Lisa, have Mick and Claire been having any trouble that you know of? Any that you feel like warning us about?" Cisco asked, calmly with a slight edge that gave Lisa a sinking feeling. Best to play it dumb.

"Uh just some spats but you know. Couples fight, they fight. Why do you ask?" Lisa chirped. 

"Well you should know that you're little pet project has gone up in flames." Lisa rolled her eyes. Wonder how long he was waiting to use that pun? "Heatwave was stealing from the Central City bank when Volcana stopped by, something about how "she was better than him" and was trying to one-up his heist. Thankfully we were able subdue them both. Mick's back with the Legends and Claire was sent back to Earth Three. No one knows she came from Earth Three except you, me and the Flash. You and I are the only ones that know how she actually got here." 

"All's well that ends well," Lisa weakly smiled.  She could just feel him glare through the phone. "We're going to talk when I get home." ---------------------------------------------------------------- "So what are we not doing?" Cisco asked pacing in front of her as she sat on his couch. 

"Match making Mick with a pyro." Lisa muttered.  "And...." 

"Match making Mick with anyone." 

"And...." 

"Match making in general." "Ever.” Cisco said.  "Ever," Lisa repeated. 

[taromilkmagic]

Notes: Cursed Child NY 27 November 2019

My first time watching CC was in Melbourne during previews, and I had an amazing time. A few months later I absorbed myself in the cc fandom here and on twitter and I became more and more obsessed with the incredible casts and crew that are a part of this amazing production all over the world. So yesterday, I finally treated myself to a second viewing of HPCC, but this time with NY Cast 2. I was taking frantic notes in between parts because I wanted to unpack and reflect over it, but when I first saw the play I wasn’t as absorbed into the fandom, so there may be things that are obvious that I’m finding new. Anyway if you’re interested in reading my thoughts on this cast/performance and how I found it different to Melbourne I’ve dumped a rant below...

Part One

Act 1

Nick Albus looking at his family and smiling, so excitedly, when they are about to enter platform 9 3/4, is everything I need in my life. But it really is heartbreaking to watching Albus’s progression from excited and hopeful to isolated and resentful.

Everyone in the background at the station is captivated by Matt Ron’s trick. This time around, I noticed that they are all incredibly grossed out when Ron plucks Lily’s ‘nose’ from his behind (accompanied by a loud fart noise), simultaneously leaning away from the Potters and Granger-Weasleys. It’s these little extra details that really lift the comedy in the show for me.

Bubba Scorpius is anxious and tense, but in a quiet/soft way. While I remember Will having very frantic nervous energy, Bubba is much more reserved and closed in on himself—both emotionally, but also physically. He is permanently hunched over and withdrawn, and his movements are smaller—not as wild— and stiffer than Will McKenna’s (James Snyder does a good approximation of this in the Polyjuice scene). When Scorpius is being sorted, he clenches and unclenches his hands. Then, when the sorting hat declares SLYTHERIN! he slowly closes his eyes. Rather than going ‘oh, as expected!’ like Will does with his head tilt and eye-roll, Bubba Scorp seems a combination of relieved and resigned.

As a sidenote, Bubba was staring emptily in my direction at the start of third year while taking to Albus. So I was a crying mess, but I also felt extremely uncomfortable because it felt like he was looking directly at me with his sad eyes 😂

Something that struck me about Nadia’s and Jenny’s Rose and Hermione: the similarities in how they carry themselves and the way they speak. They both radiate fast-paced Type A energy and you can tell that Rose is every bit like Hermione by her brisk mannerisms and alert eyes.

Jenny’s Hermione has a mischievous streak that isn’t as obvious in Paula’s drier, authoritative Hermione (disclaimer: I love them both). In Harry’s office, the toffee line is sung in an enticing tone. Tof-fee? Translation: Are you sure you don’t want one? Apparently, Jenny was quieter than usual during this performance, but I have to say that I didn’t notice this at all. As my first introduction to her Hermione she was both vibrant and funny. 

Nick Albus and Bubba Scorp are much more tactile than Will and Sean (at least compared to when I saw the Melbourne cast in previews). Some moments that stood out — Nick touches Bubba’s shoulders and back a LOT, including on the train at the start of their third year, and then at the start of fourth year when he escapes Rose’s efforts to (re) befriend him and plunges into Scorpius’ train compartment.

Another instance of cute Bubba-Nick Scorbusness in the visit to St Oswald’s. Scorpius stands directly behind Albus, turned toward the audience and away from Amos, for most of the conversation. He flinches away several times when Amos is talking, essentially sheltering behind Albus. Have I talked enough about how Bubba’s Scorpius really is adorably awkward? When Albus earnestly assures Amos that they know about the danger they’re about to embark on, Scorpius leans in to Albus and says “Do weee?” Albus turns around, and Scorpius immediately spins around and peers at the wall details—he even squeaks Oh LoOk!! (*in small twitter font). Overall, Bubba Scorp feels vulnerable—more vulnerable than Will!Scorp, who is a bit of a drama queen at times—and must be protected at all costs.

Right before drinking his Polyjuice, Bubba did his trademark forehead shzzzzap, and it was art.

Act 2

When Albus and Scorpius decide that Delphi should not travel back to the first task with them, and Delphi is storming off after kissing Albus, Sara and Bubba do that thing where they both almost run into each other and block each other, then feint/dodge in the same direction as each other twice. Bubba Scorp says “OHkay!” in an exasperated voice before going around her. It was an incredibly awkward and funny moment and you could feel the tension between Scorpius and Delphi.

The Edge of the Forest scene was beautiful, as always. I didn’t notice this but at stage-door Nick told me that he stuttered and struggled to say “Look-L-look its-look it’s Hogwarts.” And then he said that Bubba was side-eyeing him like >_> the whole time. Bubba definitely seems like the sort of person who would passive-aggressively judge you at your worst moments, but I love him anyway.

Interestingly, the lighting is different here compared to the Melbourne production. The theatre is lit up with soft golden lights which make it sort of look like golden hour, casting everything in a comforting glow. In the Princess theatre, they go for a more literal Hogwarts-through-the-trees, with gorgeous dappled shadows on vibrant blue and orange stained glass windows. Both of these work wonderfully.

In Dragons, James Romney’s Slytherin student being in the wrong House section and having to squish through everyone was very funny. Kevin Reyes as [Craig Bowker Sr?] was doing something funny in the crowd during the first task as well but I can’t remember it for the life of me sadly. But it made me realise how amazing and constantly on point every single member of the cast is, even when the spotlight isn’t on them. Sitting in row D was a massive change from being in the balcony in Melbourne, and it made me realise and appreciate the actors who are carrying out their own stories in the background. 

Nick’s Albus looks both a little put out and surprised when Hogwarts’ audience has a mixed response to Harry in the first task. 

Interestingly, James Brown III’s Bane is more human than horse here than Melbourne Bane (MelBane?), who would neigh and snort every few sentences. The only horse noise he makes is a loud snort as he backed away into the shadows. 

Albus was having nightmares in the hospital wing during Harry’s conversation with Dumbledore. Several times, he mumbles “Dad?” in his sleep as he tosses and turns. It’s actually kind of heartbreaking. 

James Synder and Nick Podany both pretend to eat the chocolate. The chocolate itself is fake and a Lie. I just thought everyone should know that. 

There is a noticeable difference between Paula’s Hermione and Jenny’s Hermione in the first AU, particularly the DADA classroom. Jenny is much more aggressive and explosive, getting in Ravenclaw girl’s face with a loud nOOO??!!? Her soft, dangerously cold voice was terrifying and a different take to Paula’s terse, irritated, authoritative tone. This AU Hermione seems angry and vindictive, rather than just disillusioned and bitter. In Melbourne, Paula presented her AU Hermione as a possible version of the same person—someone who could grow more and more unhappy with the world over the years. Jenny’s AU Hermione was different; her energy simply felt so wrong and at odds with her usual character, and I think this performance emphasised how unnatural and completely off the new timeline itself is. It definitely made me empathise with how shocked and bewildered Albus would have been, and it reminded me of my experience reading the script for the first time as it gradually dawned on me how messed up the timeline had actually become.

Staircase Ballet in New York made me just as emotional as it did in Melbourne. I don’t think that scene will ever get old for me. Bubba did some incredible face-acting that I was glad to be able to see from my seat. His Scorpius really looks completely broken and despondent as he stares downwards and then, later, at Albus.

Sara’s Delphi is soft (wait what?? I know...) when she speaks to Scorpius about him and Albus. Madeleine Jones had more of a “silly billy, of course you should just talk to him, he’s your best friend!!” big sister vibe when I saw her in Melbourne—gentle, but talking down a little bit (still in a friendly way). This Delphi is much softer, which only makes the reveal more shocking and upsetting when she later reveals her real motives.

Bubba Scorp blowing Polly Chapman a kiss twice in a row to distract her from Delphi under his cloak was so LOUD and breathy and cringe that I may have died from second-hand embarrassment.

The library confrontation! Incredible! @lumoshyperion observed something about Melbourne’s Louis!Scorp in her (incredibly detailed and poetic) review/recap, where he falters and holds himself back at the end of each sentence or phrase during the library confrontation. This was definitely true of Bubba as well! He would sort of trail off and fade away as he spoke, rather than crescendoing continuously to a shout.

When McGonagall came into the library and the two boys were hiding, Nick SKIDDED across the stage and FELL flat on his face, knocking a chair over. It looked really painful and I was like 😶. I asked him about this at SD after, and he said he was okay but that he and Bubba immediately started laughing while they were hiding under the invisibility cloak. After McGonagall left, Bubba casually put the chair back up right before he sat down.

The two boys were both vigorously wiping their eyes during the library confrontation. When Nick hugged Bubba, Bubba made a 😬 and stuck his arms out straight.

When Draco said “The girls’ bathroom on the third floo...ooorwhat on earth would they be doing there.......”, it was so ridiculously deadpan and disappointed and exasperated all at once. I haven’t written many notes on him but Jonno truly is an amazing Draco.

Being from a close seat this time, I was able to see the second task. It definitely didn’t look like a projection this time and that made it feel much more dynamic and engaging.

Bubba Scorp gets immediately self-conscious after the “Consider me engorg-impressed” joke and steps quickly back from Albus and the sink (where he was casually leaning), wrapping his robes around him tightly.

Lauren Myrtle was hilarious as I assume is usual. Lauren’s Myrtle did that thing where she poked at Harry with her foot with every word she said. He flinched back every time, it was hilarious. Diane did a full flinch and staggered back four feet from Myrtle’s hISSSS. 

Lauren looked upside down—DIRECTLY at Albus—when she said the “....and BOYS” line, and Albus immediately started fidgeting with his hair, with his hands behind his head. HE KNOWS THAT SHE KNOWS. In general, Lauren’s Myrtle was just as hilarious as Gillian, although a lot growlier. There was, as there was in Melbourne, a large round of applause as the second task began, presumably for Myrtle! 

I realise I have zero notes about any of the 'adult’ characters but they are just all-around excellence anyway so there’s not that much to say. Matt Mueller is a fantastic Ron, but very different to Gyton. He’s just as cheesy and cheerful, but not as jolly and laidback (if that makes sense...it’s a little hard to describe). Diane Davis as Ginny is Soft™, and very clearly understanding and caring. It’s easy to see that Harry depends on her as a source of advice, wisdom and emotional support. She generally doesn’t “roar” like Lucy Goleby’s Ginny does, so when she shouts it tends to come out in one angry punch—i.e. “My son is missing!” “SO is MINE!” (as opposed to SO!!! IS!!! MINE!!!!). As for James Snyder’s Harry, his anger and frustration in the alternate timeline is scarily believable, and it’s upsetting to see how it affects Albus and Ginny. It made me think of Angery Harry in Order of the Phoenix (I’m not @ing the people who say Cursed Child Harry is OOC, but...maybe I am). His American accent popped in a few times, but I barely noticed it and he was such an incredible Harry that I did not care in the slightest. The woman next to me was marvelling at how much he resembled Daniel Radcliffe, but to me this wasn’t even a fraction of why he felt like an authentic and well portrayed Harry.

Part Two

I have much less notes for Part 2. Part of this is because I was too much of a weepy mess being swept up by the art of Bubba and Nick’s Scorbus and part of it is because my phone died. I hope you enjoy what I DO have though!

Act 3

After being assigned this investigation, I can report that I am pretty sure I saw Bubba drool (?????) in the Dark AU office scene and I don’t know why or how or what... I didn’t even know this was a thing that happened on the daily but yes, yes it did. If anyone can provide more information on this... And yes, Bubba did look amazing in the Dark AU outfit. Thank you for the warning. I was still unprepared.

Spinella Snape was great! He has the deep voice down, and the dryness was Dry. Something interesting that happened in the Snape classroom scene is after he opens the secret passage in the chalkboard, Snape takes Scorp by the shoulders and gently guides him toward it. It’s a surprisingly protective and ~mentorly~ action and it reminded me a little of Snape getting in front of the Golden Trio in the PoA movie. ~Obviously~, Snape is a terrible person. But I guess he’s also capable of looking out for others! Stephen Spinella did an incredible job at actually endearing his character to me.

Ron fumbling with the wand for ages before pointing it at Scorp in the Dark AU. Unlike Gyton (and the script), Matt didn’t point it at himself this time. But he fumbled with his jacket a ridiculous amount before finding his wand and it got a lot of laughs, including from me!

Bubba was so out of breath after getting out of the pool that he had to take a long pause between the first “Harry!!!!” And “HARRRYYY POTTERRRR!”

Fiona Reid’s Petunia, in the graveyard scene, was visibly emotional. You could hear her voice getting choked up as she thought about Lily. I didn’t pick this up the first time I watched the show, but here I got it and I even teared up a little.

The jump scare GOT ME.

During the Slytherin Dorm scene, Bubba Scorp leaned over the top of Albus’ bed and yelled directly over his face to wake him up. This was both hilarious and adorable. And Malfoy the Unanxious: this whole scene was pure gold. Bubba doing weird hip-swaying dances in the air on tippy toes. Bubba waving his hands in weird and wild gesticulations (a contrast accentuated by how stiff and closed up he was prior to this). Aaah. He must be protected at all costs. 

Bubba said the ‘It’s time that time turning became a thing of the past” line very solemnly, and leaning in very close to Albus’s face (!) rather than standing (sitting?) next to him and gesturing proudly, which is what I remember from Melbourne. It’s an interesting take and a more serious one. It’s also more Scorbusy, so I’m not complaining. 

When Harry and Ginny and Draco walk in on Ron and Hermione kissing, Diane Ginny said OH! really loudly and, without a pause in her stride, immediately circled around and started to leave 😂

Jonno Draco acted so disgruntled when Specialis Revelio didn’t work. It was hilarious how grumpy he sounded when he said it was worth a try

Sara’s Delphini was much more menacing than I remember from Melbourne. I think what Madeleine did great in Melbourne is make Delphini seem like Ralph Fiennes’s Voldemort — powerful, ambitious, confident, a little bit dramatic. She DECLARED her lines: it was very Shakespearean. Sara was more sneaky and sinister. You get a sense of how she easily tricked Albus and Scorpius. Also, when she was mocking Albus for being naive, she did the little leg-kick dance that she did when she was saying he was becoming quite some wizard. I don’t remember if this is something that always happens with her or with other casts, but this is the first time I was paying close enough attention to notice it and I got CHILLS at the return. Sara’s Delphini is just that sinister and bone-chillingly terrifying.

Act 4

I have a lot of Feelings about Part 4, but not many details, sadly. Mostly because I was too absorbed by the incredible acting by everyone on stage.

James Snyder jumped around a lot when he said “Clever boy left me a message!” and it was such a pure and adorable move compared to his previous Angst that the audience laughed and cheered.

Jonno was wiping his eyes a LOT in the scene in Harry’s office. Several times, as Draco spoke about Astoria and her death, he got so choked up that he had to pause and take a breath before going on. It was a teary scene for all involved and a great testament to Jonno’s acting ability. 

Since we’re on Jonno, his delivery of “Look at the thatched roofs.......and......is that a farmer’s market?” SENT ME. He genuinely sounded kind of intrigued, interested and hopeful. I guess Joward Draco isn’t the only one who loves a good farmer’s market.

When Draco and Scorpius hugged in Godric’s Hollow, they hugged for a long time. He held onto Scorpius for a long time after, repeatedly craning his neck to be closer and holding him close as if afraid to let go again. Throughout subsequent scenes, Jonno kept his hand firmly on Bubba’s arm/inner elbow. You can see how shaken Draco was at losing Scorpius, and how fiercely protective he is now that he has his son back.

When Nick hugged Diane from her side, sitting on the bench in St Jerome’s, he knocked her down a little and she said oH! as she lost her balance. It was such a spontaneous moment and showcased the bond between Albus and his mum.

In the second to last scene, and perhaps most importantly in this entire recap...When Nick Albus says: “You better ask Rose if that’s the right thing to do!” (in response to “this new version of us”), Bubba keeps his hands firmly gripped on Nick’s arms, and stares at his face for a full three seconds before going “oh-ahaha...yeah!” and laughing awkwardly. Then, when he goes off and the stairs start spinning to bring Nick into the Nice Day scene, Nick keeps his head facing to the side where Bubba had exited—Albus’ gaze lingering distantly on Scorpius. Not saying Scorbus is canon (I really am), but Bubba Scorp’s last scene presented him as a very believable Confused Bisexual.

Finally: Nick and James rushing into a hug right as the lights went down.

“We almost broke like four times” — Nicholas Podany, 2019, on his scenes with Bubba. We are so blessed to have them.

[onwardintolight]

In which Onward rereads the Thrawn Trilogy and writes a massive review (and some other related stuff)

Alright, so I know I said that the characterization vs. plot thing in new canon vs. Legends was a rant for another time, but I’ve been thinking about it nonstop since and I really need to get a few thoughts out, so I guess this is that time, lol.

I’ve recently been diving into some of the Legends books for the first time in years. Partly because I’ve started listening to audiobooks and can get a whole lot more reading done in a day than I was able to before, and partly... well, I’m just curious to revisit it. I read a number of books from the old EU as a kid, and I definitely had mixed feelings back then. On the one hand, I was delighted—more Star Wars! Yay! On the other hand are the mixed feelings, which have so faded from memory over time that all I can remember anymore is that I didn’t like how the books portrayed Leia.

So anyway, I’ve been curious to give some of them a shot again, and see what I think now (all except COPL. I’m never going back to that one). I started with two that have come on my radar through the Han x Leia fandom, Tatooine Ghost and Razor’s Edge. They were wonderful! I absolutely loved Tatooine Ghost, especially. Razor’s Edge was super fun and had some truly fantastic moments (including some unforgettable shippy ones), but it felt more plot-driven than I tend to prefer (give me ALL the deep character stuff!). Despite that, I still loved it. I already own Tatooine Ghost and I plan to get my own copy of Razor’s Edge, too.

Then I decided to revisit the Thrawn trilogy. 

Oh boy.

Before I dive into that, though, I first want to say that I have many friends on here for whom the old EU is their Star Wars. I have the utmost admiration for you all, and I mean no disrespect. I support you in this being your Star Wars 100%. I’m not seeking to get into any big arguments or flame wars. In fact, I will put most of my ranting about Heir to the Empire et al under a cut, so please feel free not to engage if that sort of thing bothers you. 

Honestly, I’m a big fan of focusing on positivity in fandom, of focusing on what I love and not harassing others who enjoy things I don’t. That being said, I do support a good critique. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not trying to force my views on anyone, but I can certainly express them in my own space and support other people’s right to express theirs in their space. What better space to do so than on my tumblr?

Before I go under the cut, I have one last question for my old EU stans. Based on my enjoyment of Tatooine Ghost and Razor’s Edge, and knowing I’m a particular sucker for character-driven stories, especially if they involve Leia and Han (and/or their ship), are there any other Legends books you’d recommend? Please let me know because I would love to discover more of that goodness!

Now, onto the Thrawn trilogy....

(It probably goes without saying, but major spoilers ahead)

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Disclaimer: I’m sorry if I get some of the details wrong; I listened to the audiobooks and don’t have access to the books themselves right now so i’m writing out all these thoughts from memory

About Leia

So, it turns out that little me was right. Older me had the exact same reaction upon reading the Thrawn trilogy. What the heck did Zahn do to Leia? She seemed so diminished, shrinking. Hardly like Leia at all. If I had been reading a physical book, I would have been tempted to throw it numerous times.

First of all, she was set aside almost entirely for the first book. Despite the fact that the Empire was looking for Luke too, Luke got to be free and keep roaming the galaxy, doing his thing, and Leia was forced into hiding. If I remember right, it wasn’t really her choice (I believe it was Han who refused to take her no for an answer), nor did she argue it much. She just kind of followed the men in her life and let them do all the leading and galaxy-saving. Sounds a lot like Leia, right? *rolls eyes* Overall, she didn’t do much, and she didn’t have any part in the big climactic battle. 

(On another note this reminds me a little of one of Zahn’s new canon books, Thrawn Alliances. SPOILER ALERT: at a key moment, Thrawn pleads with Padme to talk with Anakin and try to convince him not to do something really terrible and disastrous that probably will result in people dying, and Padme basically just sighs, throws up her hands and says something like “It’s no use. When he gets this way no one can convince him of anything” and I just want to SCREAM BECAUSE NO THAT’S NOT THE FREAKING PADME I KNOW AND SERIOUSLY???)

Anyway. *calms down* 

In Dark Force Rising, Leia had a much more interesting plotline as she wins the allegience of the Noghri. I liked her better here, and she seemed a tiny bit more like the Leia I know. But it still just felt... lackluster. 

In The Last Command, she’s once again pushed to the side thanks to the men in her life making the decisions in the name of protecting her. True, I understand that for the majority of these books, she’s been pregnant, and so it’s not just about protecting her, but about protecting the twins. But that didn’t stop her from doing what she felt she needed to in Dark Force Rising. And in this book, she’s already given birth. Winter’s there; she can take care of the twins (as she eventually does). When the heroes assemble and go to Wayland for the big climax of the trilogy, she’s convinced by the men to stay behind (*cue me throwing imaginary book across the room*). Honestly, it felt contrived for the sake of the plot (she has to be there for what happens next) and more than a little bit sexist. 

She does eventually go, however, which made me want to cheer. I would have hated it way more if she hadn’t gotten to participate in the big last battle with C’baoth, particularly in light of the way the books had set her up as a Jedi-in-training (not very far along, but still). I was excited because surely this must mean she plays a big part in that, right? 

...She does not. She basically shows up and then gets trapped, doing hardly anything. Plot-wise, she’s pretty much there to provide an extra lightsaber and moral support of the Force-user variety. I’m glad she got to be there, but... yeah, overall, I’m really not happy with how these books treated my favorite character, and one of the actual main characters of the OT. It kind of felt like she was replaced by Mara, tbh. Which leads me to...

About Mara

Mara, like Leia used to be, is a very angry person, and for good reason. But her anger came off in these books as rather petulant and irrational. Once again, it felt a bit sexist. I hope I’m wrong, but the trajectory seems to be a trope that Leia has already been subject to (in ROTJ, as much as I love that movie, and with the job finished in this trilogy): Soften the angry woman. Make her pleasant and pliable and a little bit subservient. Legends fans, PLEASE tell me this doesn’t happen to Mara. I hope she continues to be a sarcastic, independent woman who takes no sh*t. I hope she loses none of her power, even as she loves and marries Luke. 

Mara had probably the biggest character arc of this entire trilogy. Unfortunately, that isn’t saying much. I really felt like her story had a lot of potential and could have been really compelling, but Zahn just doesn’t seem to know how to write characters with depth. In the end, her big moment of throwing off the Emperor’s power over her honestly just felt kind of contrived and shallow. Oh look, here’s a clone of Luke she can kill instead. That will magically make it all go away. Convenient. 

I wanted to love her. I think I probably could love her, if I read good fanfic. The problem is that the source material leaves all depth to the imagination.

About Everything Else

I mentioned that Mara seems to have the biggest character arc, but that wasn’t saying much. I had a lot of trouble distinguishing any other character arcs at all. The characters all seemed to be caught up in this big plot, carried along with it and deposited victorious at the end, without any obvious growth or change (except, again, for Mara). 

I suppose you could say that Luke learned to stand on his feet without the help of Ben’s Force ghost. But that was given such minor emphasis that I didn’t even think of it until this moment, weeks after finishing the book. 

Aside from my rage at the misogyny, I think this gets to the heart of why I disliked these books. The motivations and emotional/personal journeys of the characters are of utmost importance to me. To me, they’re the whole point. When a book is all plot and little character, I just... don’t care. It doesn’t feel real or relevant. It doesn’t show me that I can slay dragons, too.

I know that theoretically, I could imagine those character journeys. I could fill in the blanks in my mind, or through fic. I have a big imagination; I’m really pretty good at such things.

But tbh, when it comes to these books, I don’t even want to. To me, the plot itself felt pretty lackluster. I keep using the word “contrived” but it fits so well. Things happened and decisions were made that didn’t make much sense, just so the plot could go the way Zahn wanted it to. Now of course the same argument could be made for new canon (particularly, imho, the ST movies), but at least with new canon, there’s a deliberate and largely persistent focus on character. (And less sexism.) 

Other complaints: 

- I got sick of C’baoth in the first book. His villainy was not the least bit fearful or intimidating. His nearly prevailing over the heroes at Wayland felt more accidental than anything.

- Don’t get me started on stupid Bel Iblis and his stupid hurt manly pride that the women in power have to coddle and bow down to before he will lift a finger to help during a genuine EMERGENCY when he was desperately NEEDED (*cue me throwing the imaginary book across the room yet again*) (I think Leia would have had a few more choice words for him than she did in this book. They instantly presented themselves to my mind, at least)

- I can understand why Thrawn was such a big deal when these books first came out, but I think Thrawn is kind of oversaturated these days, and tbh I’m kind of sick of him (I’m going to blame the more recent canon Thrawn trilogy for that). While I like a good Sherlock Holmes mystery, I’m not too big on admiring that sort of “man as a machine” type character. Rationality is not everything, not by a long shot. It is empty and, frankly, shortsighted on its own. The best part about Thrawn’s story in these books for me was seeing him make mistakes (actual mistakes! yay!) and meet his end, perhaps in part due to that over-reliance on rationality and arrogance in his own abilities.

A few things I did like:

- another main female character, yay! Two if you count Winter

- I thought Talon Karrde was an enjoyable character and I’d love to see more of him

- I remember loving the vornskrs as a kid and a little bit of that adoration returned when I read this, bringing with it all sorts of happy nostalgia

- some parts of the plot were fun and exciting, and I could understand why they might feel iconic and Star Wars-y to others

Overall, however, I think Thrawn as a character kind of represents these books as a whole. It’s all very cerebral and practical. There’s art but it only serves the purpose of the rational. To me, these books felt like they were all mind, no soul.

I know that those of you who hold these books dear may disagree, and that’s fine. Honestly, despite my serious problems with them, I don’t hate these books. I might even read them again someday, maybe. I may be convinced to appreciate them more once I read people’s headcanons and hear what people love about it. So with that said, what DO you love about it? Where do you see these books’ soul?

[rantsaboutponies]

Season 9 Retrospective

One last ride.

If this final season proved anything, it’s that nothing matters anymore. I mean, it’s kind of been that way for the last few, but this one crystallized that. The final score (W-L-T) was 1-5-20; the sheer amount of “meh” episodes is staggering.

I wonder how this show will stand the test of time. If it had aired for just those first two seasons, it probably would have been a classic, “canceled too soon” series that maintained its small but passionate group of fans for decades to come. That’s not going to be the effect, though, if you keep a series going well after the point that it should have ended. If you continue out of momentum for six or seven years past its expiration date, you’re going to end up driving your fans away by creating an atmosphere of apathy, and indeed, that’s exactly what happened. Sure, diminishing returns are still returns, but you’re going to reach a point where the majority of people have dropped off, and that’s when not even your financial responsibilities will justify your existence anymore. It might ironically turn out that the longer the show runs, the less it will be remembered. For a recent example, look at what happened to the Transformers movies. From the fiscal side, you had what looked like a good thing going; it was just a whole bunch of people complaining that these movies sucked, which didn’t matter to you as long as you were still making money. And then the fifth film came out, and you lost $100 million. Everyone who was still continuing to give these movies a chance had officially run out of patience. (I guess continuing well past anyone giving a shit is something Hasbro has yet to learn from.)

Anyway, enough rambling. This final ranking is going to be tricky, since there were just so many Tie episodes that I really didn’t give a shit about, but #1 is going to be easy because there was only one Win in the entire season. That would be...

#1. “Student Counsel”: Once again, putting Starlight and Trixie in an episode together will basically guarantee hilarious dialogue. I don’t know why they’re not getting their own spin-off.

And it’s a pretty steep drop-off from there...

#2. “Between Dark and Dawn”: I guess seeing more of the sisterly relationship between Celestia and Luna was halfway interesting (even if it wasn’t that different from what we saw in “A Royal Problem”). The fact that they seemed to forget about the main storyline at the end was kind of dumb, though.

#3. “Twilight’s Seven”: You know what, at least it was different. A heist? Sure, why not?

#4. “The Last Laugh”: There’s something ironic about this show having an episode about how it’s bad to move from doing something creative (and that you love doing) to a mechanized, monotonous process of doing the same thing and losing the passion and interest you once had. I wonder if the writers were aware of what they were doing here.

#5. “The Summer Sun Setback”: When you get right down to it, this plot wasn’t too different from the finale. This one was just smaller and focused on a single event. Either way, at least Tirek and Cozy Glow had fun fucking with them a little.

#6. “A Horse Shoe-In”: Some of the teaching auditions were kind of fun, but this wasn’t a Starlight/Trixie episode that had a ton of humorous dialogue. Very disappointing.

#7. “The Point of No Return”: Twilight doesn’t freak out about minor stuff anymore! That’s why she’s going to rule Equestria very, very soon. If I lived in Equestria, I’d be terrified for my future.

#8. “Common Ground”: I kind of wish the moral here could have been, “It’s possible not to have the same interests as someone else and still have a healthy relationship with them,” but with this show, we’ll have to settle for, “If you look really, really hard, you’ll be able to find an aspect of their interest that you like enough to keep yourself entertained.”

#9. “Sweet and Smoky”: “If you’re useful, people will stop making fun of you.” The lesson of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, now in dragon form!

#10. “She’s All Yak”: “Tell me about it...stud!” I never got on board with the “Yona is best yak” train (I mostly just found her obnoxious), but I absolutely agree with the “Jesus Christ, please stop trying to kill her!” crowd.

#11. “The Big Mac Question”: This was probably the most in-one-ear-and-out-the-other episode this season. I don’t even remember what happened. Big Mac married Cheerilee, right?

#12. “Frenemies”: I’ll be honest, this is the episode that aired while I was at Everfree Northwest, and I wasn’t really paying attention. The only thing I remember about it is “Gregory’s Bell”. As far as I know, that was actually in the episode proper.

#13 & #14. “The Beginning of the End”: Weird that Sombra never came back. Nope, he’s totally super-duper for reals defeated this time.

#15 & #16. “The Ending of the End”: I’ve mentioned this before, but big, epic battles do absolutely nothing for me when there isn’t any substance to them. If some super-powerful being is fighting some other super-powerful being, it’s no different from a normal being fighting another normal being. Scaling it up doesn’t make it more interesting. The plan involving undermining everypony’s trust in each other was a good idea, but they forgot that every single background character in this show is dumb as a box of hammers and changes allegiance on a dime, so that was never really going to work. Plus, the fact that it was Discord the whole time was just...ugh.

#17. “Dragon Dropped”: Oh, really, Rarity? Now you care about Spike? Geez. We can’t end the show without Spike continuing to be a punching bag. (But he’s buff in the last episode, so it’s fine.)

#18. “The Last Crusade”: Given how a few of the later episodes on this list, I’m surprised it didn’t turn out that Scootaloo’s parents were secretly testing her the entire time. “We just wanted to make sure that you really meant it when you said you didn’t want to move!”

#19. “Uprooted”: After Sombra destroys the Tree of Harmony, the Student Six have to work together to...decide how best to memorialize it. I just wanted to remind everyone how moronic the premise of this episode was. That’s all.

#20. “The Last Problem”: God, this framing device sucked. Without it, this episode might have been higher on the list. As it was, it rendered the entire thing pointless.

#21. “Daring Doubt”: Wow, it turned out the villain wasn’t really the villain the whole time! Please ignore any contradictory information that may have cropped up in previous episodes.

Did you notice that there were three unrelated episodes this season whose titles began with “The Last...”? Talk about uncreative.

#22. “Going to Seed”: Children really don’t need more outlets encouraging them to believe adults who lie to them for their own gain and/or pleasure. There really needs to be a show that teaches, “There are people out there who profit from lying to you.”

#23. “2, 4, 6, Greaaat”: This and the next one on this list are the double-header of “It’s okay to trick and manipulate someone if you think it’ll teach them a lesson they need to learn!” episodes.

#24. “She Talks to Angel”: Notice in both of these cases (Rainbow Dash’s in the former, Fluttershy’s in the latter) that these were not, in fact, lessons that they needed to learn! Twilight and Zecora just got to be smug assholes and pat themselves on the back at the end. Yippee.

#25. “A Trivial Pursuit”: Remember, this was the episode immediately before Celestia told Twilight how qualified she was to run a country. This was a mere seven episodes before the finale. Character growth is super easy if you just say that it happened! Also, as a major trivia buff, this was just insulting on every level.

#26. “Growing Up Is Hard to Do”: This episode really brought back the name of my blog. After so many that I didn’t care about, it felt good to have a nice long rant again, and boy, did this one deserve it.

So...what will G5 bring? Different characters? Different stories? Different writers? At this point, who knows? Maybe I’ll be there to find out.

[christinethethunnus]

So..back from watching HTTYD 3...

(I respect everyone who loved it and cried during watching it, so if you loved it a lot, I recommend on not reading this post.) 

(Contains entire plot of movie including personal criticism.) 

And I didn’t really like it. I thought the visuals were good, but the plot and motivations were really weak compared to the previous movies and there was a lot of weird stuff in there that was just unnecessary or actually relevant.

 My main problem with is it’s just too predictable. Movies can be predictable, and maybe because this is the last movie of a trilogy I might have gotten too hyped up. But if you’re going to make it be predictable, then add actually good conflict or good dialogue. But the dialogue is so cliched like, How are your plans on conquering the world going? You’re the one who changed me, I will destroy everything and everyone you love MUHAHAHAHHA Our home is not only this place we live on, it’s us and something like that. 

 And am I the only one who thought the writers were gonna go with Tuffnut is actually gay for Hiccup route? I know he’s an annoying character, but the way he’s always bringing up

  is Hiccup’s getting married to Astrid, is he not gonna get married to her, he’s gonna help out with him, talks about a lot about Hiccup, overly agreeing with everything he does and the weird smashing Hiccup into his ‘beard’ 

was really disturbing in my opinion. I don’t get why Tuffnut’s there. 

 Snotlout likes Valka now. Yeah, wasn’t okay at all with that. And he still has inferiority issues, now with Eret. Which was resolved in the end with Hiccup’s mom going like hey, I think you have better brains than Eret, which means we have possible chemistry and this is NOT OKAY TO ME. Snotlout never had any scene which would make her say that, and why would she even show any interest to someone at a similar age to her son? 

I have no idea how Snotlout’s character development is like in the tv series, but writers, if you’re gonna use that as a character trait, can’t you just have it actually be relevant to the story and build up the guy to be an actual character than a stereotypical stupid bully jerk who now likes the MAIN CHARACTER’S MOM??? 

And the villain.

This guy. I forgot what his name was after I came out watching it, so I just found it’s Grimmel, Grimmel the Grisly. Okay. You claim to have killed all of the Night Furies. How did you know you killed all of them? Did you like count all of the N.Fs and then started killing them off one by one? Did you do the same with the Light Furies? Does NightLight Furies live outside of the Hidden world and that’s why you could count all of them? 

How does Valka know the Night Furies were all killed too? If He’s a dragon ‘hunter’ why didn’t Valka, who were protecting the dragons like Hiccup, not know who he is and have methods to defend against him? Was she just protecting dragons who lived in a certain range of land? 

I really thought Grimmel was going to turn out as the ‘Anti-Hiccup’, someone who Hiccup could have been, challenging Hiccup physically and psychologically. He could have threatened to destroy Berk with the help of his conqueror friends, he says he’s a hunter but Hiccup and his friends and viking guys just chill on the island. 

At that scene when Grimmel’s like ‘can’t you guess where they must have gone’(evil guy face), I was thinking that this guy knows EVERY PLAN THAT’S GOING ON IN HICCUP’S BRAIN OMG DON’T CAMP IN THAT ISLAND YOU GUYS ARE DOOMED but no, they have to tail Ruffnut, who was accidentally left behind, to find the actual location wayyyyyy later on. Great tracking skills, I’m so impressed. 

I can’t help but think the writers went the easy route because they didn’t want to take risks and disappoint or shock the kids that would watch the movies, but you’ve already taken risks in the first and second movies with Hiccup’s leg and Stoick’s death, the viewers have grown up with the movies, so why are you going backwards all of a sudden? Not to mention this being the end of the trilogy so I can’t expect that the next one will be better than this one. 

 My final rant is a plot I wrote right after I came back from watching it yesterday, contains the entire plot of the movie, I didn’t change the final half completely because I had to rest after all that 3D and moving chairs, just added ideas which I thought could have been in some scenes. It’s not great, some scenes could be cliche too, but it’s what I wished could have been. I haven’t watched the entire TV series, so please put that into consideration. 

(I didn’t write Grimmel’s name because I forgot what it was at the time when I was writing this down, but I think bad guy’s enough for his current characterization and you could add any name in it if you wanted, I also forgot how you call the people of Berk and just wrote vikings instead. There’s no full dialogue scenes either, just some gibberish lines.) 

Hiccup and gang saves the dragons, and returns to Berk.

 Berk is overpopulated by dragons and humans, and while managing to co-exist with them, are having problems like the dragons consuming too many fish, serious arson, and some of the vikings (including Gobber) are interested in plundering other villages with their dragons, because that’s what VIKINGS DO.

The giant dragon knocks down the towers which served as houses for the dragons, and they need a place to stay, and the newcomer dragons end up barging into the Vikings’ houses, being not accustomed to the rules. The alpha, Toothless, tries to control them, but the damage is done.

So, Hiccup is forced to look for a haven for some of the dragons to stay beyond Berk, which he recalls the memory of his dad, and the stories of the ‘Hidden World of Dragons.’ And while he wants to work on looking for that, Hiccup is chief, and can’t leave the village like he used to while Stoick was around. Hiccup also addresses that they’ll have to do something about the dragon hunters and their plans to use the dragons as weapons, and same scene with Gobber, him saying that one day Hiccup will meet his match. 

(Scene with the Conquerors, showing them training dragons to be brutal killers and detailed plans of weaponizing them) appearance of the bad guy, he doesn’t look menacing, thin and has the appearance of a weasel. Is irked at the mentioning of ‘dragon riders’, and follows similarly to movie scene. (shows his power of DARTS by immobilizing a big dragon) 

 Snotlout, claiming to be second in charge, leaves with Astrid, (and the dragons) and he brags about how dismayed she must be to lose such a guy like him (Astrid ignores him), and continues to fantasize about Hiccup’s mom.

Astrid: (disgusted, scoffs) she’s like the same age as your mom

Snotlout: and more awesome, thinner and beautiful...... (A:ugh)

Snotlout mumbles about her probably preferring Eret, and they talk over Snotlout feeling inferior and wanting to get compensation from being adored by stronger women. (like Valka or Astrid)  Astrid points out he can’t fill in that gap by getting married to the previous chief’s wife, he has to prove himself actually being courageous (S:Which I am!) They go through clouds, and is astonished.

(black screen, transitions to Berk) 

Toothless tries to play with Hiccup, but he’s burdened by his chief duties and can’t spend time with his bud. Pouting, Toothless leaves the hut and catches the scent of the Light Fury and searches for her, meeting in the forest. They have a moment, but she flies away, and Toothless looks at his prosthetic tail with resent, and looks back to the sky with longing. 

(Transition to hidden island in the clouds) 

Snotlout and Astrid arrive on the island, and finds it good enough to hide the dragons in it, and the dragons find refuge in the woods. Snotlout announces all is done and they should leave, but Astrid decides to explore the island, and draws it on pieces of paper. Snotlout questions what she’s doing, and Astrid answers it’s for Hiccup’s map. S comments on when she’s so become like Hiccup, and she comments, 

Yeah, I never saw it coming.   (Astrid smiles as she continues to draw, when suddenly she spots the Light Fury in the sky, and hurriedly draws it on another paper.)

Done with work, Hiccup sighs as he finally comes out, and sees Toothless, and asks whether his bud wants to get some flying with him. Toothless looks depressed, and trips Hiccup with his prosthetic tail. 

“Aw, come on, what you’d do that for?” (Toothless:growls)  and Hiccup is slightly worried about him. Astrid arrives with Snotlout, their mission accomplished, and Snotlout announces that HE’S seen a NEW NIGHT FURY, ONLY WHITE BUT NEW AND IT WAS HE WHO FOUND IT SO HE’LL NAME IT-  Astrid comes over to Hiccup, and hands over the drawing, and that it disappeared while being  chased by other dragons she’s never seen before.(the bad guy’s dragons.) She comments on them being very hostile, and that they were trying to force the L.Fury to come with them. Toothless listens to them talking, and makes enthusiastic motions at the mentioning of the Light Fury (also named by Astrid)

(transition to Valka) she talks about how the Night furies went extinct (memory scene) she was looking for other dragons which were going extinct, and comes across the bad guy’s lair which had skull upon skull of all kinds of dragons, and mostly Night and Light furies. And since she could communicate with dragons she never heard of them recalling on seeing another Night Fury, so assumed they had gone extinct. (Fishlegs adding that the last records of N,Furies were made of patches of writings from decades ago, so it was unclear whether they went extinct or not)

After listening to Valka, Hiccup is delighted at the idea of finding a new dragon, and wants to go and find it. Some of the Vikings are interested in having another Night fury to protect them, which they could use in their pillaging villages.(Viking stuff) Hiccup is still against using dragons as weapons, (H: They are our family) and Gobber counters, We are already using them to make weapons, you, are doing it as well, Hiccup. (H:But not to harm other humans-) But you are no Dragon. It’s high time you chose the side where you want to rule over.

And Hiccup notices most of the things he did was to assist in humans living a better life with dragons than actually trying to solve the problems the villagers had. He wonders whether he just took the place of chief just to not disappoint his father. Hiccup turns to talk with Toothless to collect his thoughts, but he’s not there, and Hiccup feels more alone and burdened than ever.

Toothless is absent during the previous scene, as he hears distress calls from afar and looks for the Light Fury. He can’t fly, but can glides down and climbs trees to look for her, and finds her hurt and afraid, injured by the bad guy’s dragons.   (same scene like the movie, tries to court her, but fails, tries again, but fails, and then succeeds with the drawing.) and when she tries to get more close, she’s shot by the evil guy’s dart, and Toothless is captured in a trap. He calls a distress call, which orders all of the dragons on Berk, who goes to save him, and the Vikings including Hiccup notice this. Before Toothless is taken, Hiccup arrives on the back of another dragon, and Hiccup encounters his enemy for the first time, but the guy flies away with his dragons. 

(transition to dart scene) Eret explains who the bad guy is, calls him ‘The Dragonslayer’  who was rumored to have killed all of the Night Furies. which connects to Valka’s story of the dragon skeleton heap. Eret adds, that if the conquerors have called upon the bad guy, then they must be ready for another attack. The Vikings call on war with the conquerors and the Dragonslayer, and they’ll use their dragons to crush them. Against the idea, Hiccup tries to say they could work things out without fighting, but he is reminded by Snotlout (Valka winces) how that turned out a year ago. He looks for Astrid to support, but she agrees with Snotlout, saying that she can’t lose him too. Not a second time. And she glances at his prosthetic leg. [which H notices, and understands]

The crowd over agreeing or disagreeing on war, and Hiccup bellows Enough! 

He asks to give him some time, he’ll work something out, and goes into his hut. (opens his map and Stoick’s book about the Hidden world.

 (same scene with the bad guy)(the bad guy’s dragons circle around Hiccup, threatening him, drooling venom)they have a talk about how the guy became a hero by killing a night Fury, (Hiccup is reminded of himself

in the first movie) Hiccup claims the dragons are harmless, and can live along with humans, as he has proven with Berk,

But the bad guy retorts, then why can’t the other Vikings exist with the dragons, if they are so harmless? Why didn’t the people of Berk co-exist with dragons before Hiccup, although they must have had so many chances to?

Hiccup:  Because they went the easy way of trying to kill them off.

B.G: Exactly. And how wrong is that? You don’t seriously think dragons to be equal to you? Just because they are big lizards that breathe fire and can fly? You wouldn’t befriend flies even if they had grown to the size of a horse, you kill them. same with dragons.

Hiccup tries to ignore the bad guy’s words, claiming he’s nothing but a cold blooded murderer, and the bad guy says he killed dragons for humans, and was therefore hailed a hero among men. Just like Stoick.  

“And whose chief were you again? Hiccup, Savior of Dragons?”

  Suddenly, Astrid hacks into the hut with Stormfly, which smelled the dragons’ venom. She saves Hiccup (and asleep Toothless or fake Fishlegs, but then Toothless comes to save Hiccup with Astrid) 

 and the bad guy retreats on his dragons, shouting that he will kill off the last Night fury alive, and he will wear their skin as his coat to honor Stoick, the greatest of dragonkillers. If Hiccup dares to stop him, he will destroy Berk. (The hut is burnt down)

Everyone hurridly arrives to see Stoick’s hut burn down, and Astrid pulling Hiccup out, them coughing from the smoke.

Hiccup says they’re in danger, the bad guy’s going to come for them unless he gives up Toothless and the dragons. The Vikings and Snotlout claim this a proclamation of war, and they leave to prepare for it, and Hiccup tries to stop them, but they don’t listen, and leave off without him. Agitated, he sighs, and leans on a post to think. Astrid comes up to Hiccup, and asks him if he’s okay. 

Hiccup: Yeah, probably, on a second…I don’t think so.

She smiles as she gives him the map of the island she (and Snotlout)found.

“I don’t think this is the place you were looking for.. but it’s not half bad. And it’s a new add to your map. “ Hiccup ponders on this information, large, not on the map, and hidden from plain sight.

He calls on the Vikings that they could move on to this Island to hide themselves, and the dragons to hide from the ships that are coming for Berk. Hiccup declares that he cannot lose the soul of Berk which is both this island and the lives of people of it.) Including the dragons.

(same scene with the bad guy and the conquerors) – B.G says he has a plan to find them (Moves off to the island with the dragons.)

(scene with Snotlout and Valka talking about inferiority issues (she says she only loves Stoick, and gives him motherly advice on being warrior like by talking about Stoick) 

---(Below are summaries of the scene from the movie, and the ideas I wished it could have been)

*The L.F arrives on the island, Toothless is given the good new tail and goes after her

Hiccup tries to capture the bad guy, falls into obvious trap (Ruffnut captured and annoys the bad guy, he follows her back with the armada)  

-  Ruffnut talks about everything about the Hiccup Gang, the bad guy could have like used that to harm Astrid and force Hiccup to do his shit or if they’re only eating fish, use some dragon to poison the water and fish so they’ll starve to death. Ever heard of Siege tactics?

*Hiccup tries to find Toothless, finds the hidden world. (Toothless hailed king, Hiccup is saved by Toothless and remembers his dad talking about his mom and getting not married and how love is powerful) 

-      This could have gone like this, Hiccup and Astrid is attacked by the dragons, and as Hiccup is the intruder, (or he or Astrid accidentally injures a dragon) Toothless shows hostility towards him, (mirrors hostility from first movie), until he recognizes it’s his best friend. Hiccup, who looks upon him with some fear. Toothless tries to look menacing to save face, and ‘kidnaps Hiccup and Astrid’, flying out to the outside world to save his friends. 

-      and Hiccup has a flashback of his dad, being this dragon killing warrior, and how he too wanted to be like his dad. But despite his fearsome front, he still believed in love and loved his mother.

*Goes back to Berk, only to find that the L.Fury returned with them, she is captured by the bad guy,  and Toothless is captured, and the other dragons have to follow their ‘Alpha’ and are caged. Hiccup is distressed, Astrid cheers him up, the gang suit up and glide down to the so conveniently barked enemy ships ALONE and tries to save Toothless (with no plan, just kamikazes into it) -      After the bad guy leaves, the Vikings panic on having no ships and stuff and they’re stuck on the island(All of their dragons are gone and nobody notices or panics?? Did the dragons mean nothing to them?) 

-      Hiccup talks with Astrid about how similar he could have been to the bad guy, whether if the bad guy is actually the true successor of his dad, the dragon slaying warrior. Astrid reminds Hiccup of how he’s changed the lives of Berk for the better by saving and looking for ways to live with dragons, that he’s always been looking for ways for both dragons and humans, and just because everyone doesn’t get Hiccup’s methods deem his work useless. Hiccup being an exception has changed so many lives and destinies, including his dad. And don’t forget it’s him who made Astrid who she is now.  Now determined, Hiccup stands. 

-      (Orders the Vikings to fight for their once friends, and regain the victory of vikings (and Snotlout agrees with him, (maybe he’s finally learned some humiliation and acceptance by then, idk) 

-      Leads the Vikings all to fly, and they all attack the fleet (surely he has more flying suits...) 

*they don’t save Toothless until the last part, saves the other dragons first and destroys ships, and then has fight with bad guy, who flies off with L.Fury and Hiccup follows with Toothless, Toothless zaps the other evil dragons into oblivion, bad guy injures Toothless and Hiccup holds onto the guy and tells L.F to go save Toothless, and he lets go and falls with the bad guy.

Bad guy rips off Hiccup’s wings, and L.F catches Hiccup, Hiccup takes off his prosthetic leg and the guy (holding on to the leg) falls to the ocean and dies(probably)   -      There could be dialogue in this scene, cliché but cool like if your father could see you now something. Maybe he takes both Astrid and the Light Fury and makes Hiccup choose between the two, 

 and Hiccup frees the Light Fury, tells her to save Toothless, hands himself over to the bad guy, and chooses to fall to the sea to save Astrid . 

“If your father could see you now. Sacrificing the love of your life... and your life for a dragon.” 

“He’d be proud.” 

[insert Astrid grinning back at Hiccup]

-      Astrid attacks the bad guy, who falls from his dragon(or falls with dragon until the dragon gets to his senses and abandons him) and Astrid leaps down to save Hiccup, (she tries to glide but the fall is too great) and they hold onto each other before falling……and then the Light fury catches them. (Give me more Hiccstrid dammit) 

(Hiccup chooses to let the dragons go, away from the humans so that they’ll never be used as weapons again) 

(I kind of expected the dragons to shut the door to their world and that’s why they can’t meet again, and can’t they just go back to the isle of Berk by making ships? I see no reason for them to not go back home) 

*Hiccup lets go of Toothless and the dragons, and gets married with Astrid (best scene with the final fight scene, where they both look at each other and the soundtrack from the first movie oh SO GREAT ) Years pass, Berk has no dragons, and Hiccup and Astrid and their kids go to the end of the world and sees Toothless again, Toothless remembers Hiccup and they ride him and Stormfly and goes off (monologue going on like the dragons are waiting for humans to accept them)

-      monologue about Berk, establishing shot with clouds, the first person view being a flying figure, and the viewer sees faint figures which look like dragons flying through the sky. The camera moves through clouds and dives down, showing the new island of Berk, the sea and Viking fleet. -      Hiccup leading a fleet with Astrid, they come across a great mist and hear sounds of dragons, but cannot see them. Astrid stands on the front deck with her children, they try to touch the mist as if she’s trying to touch the clouds (homage to first movie) The new generation of vikings are worried of the sounds being a threat, but Hiccup calms them down, and silently waits looking up to the clouds. 

Suddenly a black great figure lands on the ship, the children scramble behind Astrid’s back, and she assures them, saying it’s okay.

-      Hiccup slowly movies towards the figure, and same scene as in movie, they recognize each other, and the camera shows their expressions (as if they realize something forgotten) and ends with title.

(End) 

The bad guy’s plot for my plot (the first half I wrote) , First, make his dragons force the Light Fury to land on Berk to hide herself, and she’ll meet Toothless, and the N.L furies mate for life so they’ll fall for each other. The Light Fury’ll want to find a safe place to not get captured again, so she’ll look for a place to hide with her possible future mate in or out of Berk, but he orders his dragons to injure her, and get her calling for help, forcing Toothless to be more concerned about her. (Making them inseparable) And then it returns back to the movie with him capturing her and then forcing Toothless to be captured and then taking all the dragons in Berk.......................................................................................................................but why doesn’t he force them to lead him to the Hidden world, where he could kill all dragons by blocking the hole and Atlantising them? Why would he let her go in the first place, without any dragon following where she is?? Can he SMELL DRAGON? IS THAT HOW HE CAN TRACK THEM DOWN?? How was he sure that they’d come back after the Light Fury took Toothless back to the H.Word??? This is so confusing and ugh your plans are the worst GRIMMEL THE GRISLY YOUR NAME IS FORGETFUL AND SO IS YOUR TITLE OF DRAGON KILLER GO FOR SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE CAN REMEMBER AFTER HOLDING ONTO MOVING CHAIRS FOR OVER AN HOUR in fact, you are NEVER SHOWN ACTUALLY KILLING A DRAGON, YOU ALWAYS JUST PUT THEM TO SLEEP YOU ARE NOT A DRAGON SLEEP FAIRY 

I do think the sub-title ‘The Hidden World’ doesn’t suit this plot, but it doesn’t matter probably. I’m really sad to see it go, but am still joyous to see that wedding scene. I’m happy to have grown up with you, How to Train your Dragon, good bye and farewell. 

[blackrose-ffxiv]

Like Water 05/23

“I am somewhat familiar with your history”, Daijiro Satake remarks. “The dragon is considered an auspicious symbol in the east. It is a strange thing that the same is not thought so in the north. Though there are those who do magic with the blood of dragons. I’ve taken an interest in such things. Mayhaps it is among the curiosities that would be sold here?”

Lebeaux Desrosiers thinned full lips as the smile struggled to hang on for its dear life. ‘Heresy’ was the word that lingered on the tip of his tongue. Madness and vile blasphemy. To forgive Daijiro this simply because he was some uneducated heathen was to be guilty of the very same sins himself. Dravanians weren’t spared Her wrath simply because they didn’t believe. “It is one thing to collect silly forest spirits to write letters by their glow at night or some such.” Lebeaux began slowly, fingers curled too-tightly around the pipe. “It is quite enough to go looking for such dangerous materials to perform such magic. Some things are forbidden for good reason.”

Daijiro raises his eyebrows slightly. “Are they forbidden?” he asks, feigning almost child-like innocence. “Have not the dragon-worshipers been welcomed back into Ishgard? What possible reason could there be for such a ban?”

“Meddling in such things can leave you enthralled to them.” Lebeaux clarified quickly as pale eyes narrowed slightly. “Should there be an accident with the blood, you could find yourself doomed to spend the rest of your days a slavering beast trapped in grotesque form and it would be quite a number of days spent a mindless monstrosity. They are rather long lived, if not dispatched properly.”

Daijiro frowns. “I see. Hmm. That is troublesome. I will be sure to bring it up with my contact. Though he did not wish me to partake directly of the dragon’s essence.”

Lebeaux wrinkled the bridge of his nose. “How unfortunate. It seems our association will be neither as long nor as fortunate as I had presumed.” He explained as he set the pipe down and picked up his hat. “Consorting with dragons and their blood will end only in misery and malady.” He explained matter-of-factly as he settled it back atop his head. “Being ignorant of such things will not protect you. Good day, Daijiro.”

Daijiro cants his head slightly. “Is this a request for more gil?” he asked. He rose to his feet as the other stood. “I’m afraid I do not understand the source of your concern, Ser. Please forgive me if I have offended you in some way.”

Lebeaux blinked blankly as he adjusted the lay of his hat. “No, I assure you it is not a request for more gil.” He corrected firmly. “It’s nothing to do with money, there are far more important things at stake here. Your ever-living soul, for example.” He noted calmly. “Even should you be unaware, it will not save you from the damnation that will away should you carry on with such madness. Keep well away from dragon’s blood and all those who would dare use it. For any purpose.”

Daijiro frowns. “I see. I shall consider your words, Ser.” He shakes his head slightly. “Do you fear that your soul may be tainted too, by association?” He smiled wryly. “It is disappointing, to be sure. To throw away such advantages as we might have had on account of a humble easterner’s ignorance.”

Lebeaux paused in his escape, glancing back at the Easterner. “Truly, it is as well a shame to see such potential thrown away to ignorance.” He reached out slowly, running the back of gloved fingers over the hyur’s cheek and down to his chin. “You toy with powers far beyond your comprehension and risk damning yourself not only in this life but in the one that comes beyond as well. To spend this lifetime as a monster and the afterlife paying for your heresy in the Fury’s mercy.” Lebeaux felt so much better after saying it, it had been eating at him all this while. “How does one propose to hold a medic’s tools with dragon claws.”

Daijiro did not seem intimidated by those words. He rather relaxed instead, and even chuckles. “Mayhaps you are not so fond of new things as you professed, Ser.” He approached, then, trying to lay a hand on the other’s arm. If not stopped, he would grip the other by the wrist, looking straight at him: “I believe I now know what it is what you desire.” He showed a little grin.

Lebeaux had been warned of talking too much. While the incessant chatter was usually a method of distracting one’s conversational partner he did on occasion have the nasty habit of letting a little too much slip. A former inquisitor had picked up on it nearly immediately and now this smug little hyur seemed to be claiming the same. He remained where he was as the Easterner’s hand rested on the rich fabric of his sleeve. The elezen peering haughtily down his nose at the shorter man. “And just what do you suspect that is, then…” He replied, cautiously. His smile had shattered in the previous ranting as the pieces tried desperately to cling to curled corners of his lips.

Daijiro kept his grip on the other’s wrist. “To destroy the new and reinstate the old. To purge. To purify”, he states simply. “Is it truly only a mention of dragons and heretics that is required to let your mask slip?” he inquires, almost matter-of-factly. “It explains why you went here, to a place where none are like to mention such things idly.”

“Enough.” Lebeaux ordered sharply, tugging at his wrist to try and free it from the other’s grasp. “There’s no use discussing such things.” It was a dream still too far out of his grasp to dare even think about. The smile was gone now, the corner of his lip curled in a small sneer. “Nor do I want to hear it from the petty little mouth of a heathen. You know nothing yet you would dare to speak of purity.”

Daijiro had mentioned moving like the reed bowing in the wind. He demonstrated such this time, letting the other’s momentum free his hand from his grasp, but then pushing forward, his palm against the other’s stomach to try and have him fall in his seat. “Does your employer know of your true nature? Do the people of Ishgard, I wonder? As I understand it, the current rather runs against those men who value purity.”

Lebeaux yanked his hand free and turned to make his escape, yet before he had taken a step the Easterner’s hand came around to push him down back into his seat, using his own momentum against him. “She knows enough.” By that he meant she knew well enough not to look a gift chocobo in the beak. A fully trained chirurgeon and combat medic willing to work in a Tradehouse wasn’t the sort of gift that was dropped into one’s lap every day. “I’ve no reason to discuss the matter further with you, Daijiro Satake.” He practically hissed, settling his hands onto the chair’s arms as though relaxed though his fingers dug into the soft padding.

Daijiro is stony: “It would be most unfortunate if anyone investigated such things. A man would not need to lie about his beliefs if he did not fear what might become of him if all knew about it.” He then showed a false smile of his own, as if bemused by the cornered beast, digging his claws in. “You need not worry, Ser. All I desire from you is the fruitful acquaintanceship that was on offer before we raised this sensitive topic.”

Lebeaux grit his teeth now instead. The seated position forcing him to look up slightly to meet Daijiro’s gaze. Icy blue eyes glinted with cold fury at the entire situation. So much for writing Daijiro off as a non-threat. He knew blackmail when he heard it. The hyur wouldn’t mention anything to anyone so long as Lebeaux remained cooperative. The desire to be rid of the man, once and for all, nagged at his belly. It would be so easy to just make Daijiro disappear. Yet at the same time such a shrewd man likely had contacts who would come looking for him. He would simply have to bide his time. He swallowed down the acid that threatened to drip off of his tongue in the form of harsh words and instead pushed a small smile onto his face though his eyes still glared. Acquiescing to the terms.

Daijiro bows his head. When it comes up, he is all smiles: “I see that this will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship~. My servant, Kareem, will arrange with you the time when you may appear at my Ul'dahn manor.” He paused moment, waiting for that to sink in. “I trust you will likewise be prompt in making arrangements with your dear colleagues?”

Lebeaux sucked air sharply between his teeth. The tone had changed considerably. It was no longer a visit to share views on medical arts but rather ‘when he may appear’. At the smaller man’s leisure, at his manor. Fury have mercy how he hated the Far East. While he thought his false smiles and charade of sweetness were infallible they had brought it to an art form here. “You will hear from them in due time.” He stated slowly and evenly. 

Daijiro reached out, then, two soft fingers caressing Lebeaux’s cheek. “Thank you very much, Ser”, he said, in that same soft-spoken, almost submissive tone. “Please practice your smile? I suspect it will be even more beautiful when it is true.”

While Lebeaux was such an excellent doctor, in his own opinion, he surely didn’t care for a taste of his own medicine. His eyes narrowed further into dangerous slits, the pale blue almost lost between thick lashes as he glared up at the smaller man who dared to touch him, not once but twice throughout the conversation.

@grey-lotus-ffxiv