#this post was microwaved

[micro-wav]

The common Regretevator elevator cast when they get sick ☆

[I've been sick for the last couple of weeks, this is me projecting :( ]

STAT

Suppresses her sneezes when in the elevator, not out of courtesy to the other elevator users but literally because she doesn't want to attract attention or even worse, pity

Repurposes one of her fine dust mask, wouldn't be caught dead with a "medicinal paper bag over her mouth"

Won't accept someone elses tissues, she has her own, stop blessing her!

Bive

Rarely gets sick, but if she does, she's knocked out

Her fur is all over the place, her glasses always a little crooked and she can't seem to have one clear thought thanks to all the coughing

If Split finds out, you will find neither in the elevator until Bive feels better

It's strict bed resting and drinking green tea, two of Bives least favorite things, but if it's being ordered by her most favorite Person it might not be as unbearable.

Split

When Split gets sick, Splitsville! is put on hold.

as the main writer of the jokes she's a critical part of the show and without her it just wouldn't be the same.

As someone who usually cares for others, she's not used to having others care for her so she sits her sickness out alone :(

She does however like to listen to Bives radio frequency as she sips tea and eats peanut butter crackers in bed.

Pest

Another follower of the "I'll keep working until I can't stand anymore" rule

That, of course, is even more dangerous than just waiting to get better, but Pest would never acknowledge the truth like this

Hides it actually pretty well, it's due to a slip up in his facade, the one time he didn't check if anyone was around to cough, that someone notices

And of course it's Poob

Who then immediately starts hovering and telling everyone and by everyone I mean DrRetro

Thus begins a long, strenuous manhunt filled with 100% physical activities which could've been avoided and 0% actual rest

Poor Pest.

Folly

I'm a firm believer of the fact that Folly feels under the weather if she fails to meet her daily quota of despair and agony which she leeches off of Unassuming elevator users

It's not your average sneeze and cough kind of sickness, it's the Victorian, starving kid kind of sickness

Looks and sounds lifeless, there's no chuckling and no pestering, making everyone feel on edge that she's planning something

but unless that something is getting done whatever she needs to do and then hide for the rest fo the day, then no, she's not.

Melanie

The poor thing, asked Mozelle for help and was taken to the Vet

Unfortunately DrRetro can only treat her lower half, it's unclear and questionable why Melanies head is affected by this weird disease and also how is she even sneezing, it's a screen?

So, Mozelle calls over some Friends with Mechanical experience to help figure out what to do!

STAT came for the treats and left with "do I look like I have a head for a screen?", Pest was invited but never showed up and Mach politely declined and referred to the Doctor so they were back to step one

On coincidence as Mozelle and Melanie were defeatedly using the elevator to get back home, they ended up in the Floppy Shoppy where Prototype and Scag were currently playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Once they explained the problem, Scag rolled over to Melanie, told her to turn around and plugged out the HDMI cable, making her head black out. She then held the end of the cable towards Prototype who blew into the bit using their fans and the cable was plugged back in.

It worked, the problem was dust in the cable head which in return made Melanie sneeze... anyways

Mozelle

The agony, the horror!

Her imminence is sick, call for the doctor post haste!

DrRetro prescribes strangely oval, white candies and something called "fishy oil" to take for 5 days.

Preposterous, it tastes nothing like candy! But alas, Mozelle shan't let her kingdom down by being sickly so she will take the disgusting, bitter stuff and get well soon!

PartyNoob

It's actually quite common for Poob to get sick!

It's almost always bound to happen too, multiple parties a day with a bunch of diffrent people is the perfect place for germs to spread like wildfire :/

If they slowly feel under the weather as the day goes on, they make it their personal goal to call every last host of the parties they were going to attend to decline the invitation as to not spread their sickness to others.

If they wake up sick however, there's no guarantee for anything as they barely leave their bed all day, opting to just sleep it off so they can get better quick and continue as usual once more!

Lampert

Contrary to popular belief, constantly washing your hands, cleaning your surroundings, disinfecting everything and wearing masks around other who you can't say for sure are healthy isn't enough for you to never get sick.

The more you shelter your body, the more your immune system shuts down, thinking it's safe, but that's when the bacteria gets you!!

You'll not see Lampert for at least two weeks, one to get better and an additional one sulking in Rokea for being so careless and getting sick in the first place...

Pilby

Whenever the bug gets the sickbug (I'm not sorry), they are not permitted to enter the elevator and put on strict bedrest unless supervised until they feel better

Mach is pretty busy most days, but whenever Pilby feels unwell she makes it her personal goal to go outside and walk with them at least once a day. if they're cooped up inside, they're just breathing in the same sick air all day and never get better, that's not an option.

They don't like to lie, but once Pilby does feel better they like to keep the facade up for a few more days so they can hang out with Mach some more.

And Mach is fully aware that Pilby is better, her sensors telling her so, but she doesn't call them out, indulging in the lie herself. it's nice to take a break and just hang out once in a while :]

The exceptions:

What do you do when you're a doctor and get sick? No idea, DrRetro won't tell me.

One could argue that Fleshcousin is never healthy, but I'm not prepared to have this argument at this time, so I won't.

Gnarpy is an alien. Perhaps there is some sort of alien virus out there, but if there is we'd never know, that's for sure.

Infected is unfortunately doomed to never be healthy, poor dude.

Unpleasant is always sick and nasty and ugh.

Reddy is a robot, HOWEVER sometimes when Scag and Prototype are in the elevator with it, they like to upload a virus that makes it sing and dance to Tyler, the Creator songs.

Scag and Prototype have both been robots for a loooong time so they usually know how to take care of themselves, just like they do with Reddy however, they like to upload funpilled stuff onto themselves for funmaxxing on a Friday.

Wallter can't get sick, i don't think there's bacteria strong or persistent enough to get through all that concrete...

Mark is another lucky dude to just never get sick in the usual sense, unless you count getting sick of certain cement-drinking individuals

You'd think after having their entire body scrambled, their immune system would be all out of whack as well, but no, Spud actually doesn't get sick! You could even argue all the experiments made it stronger, a small comfort in a sea full of sadness.

[samarajethwa]

[birdhand-art]

anotha one. yall went crazy for the last one and these are a fun quick exercise for me so get rosed on

@kazzzled credit to my beautiful wife for calling dibs on which one i should do next

dirk version

[ihateornithologists]

another brain damage comic

the fact that i don't even have to exaggerate tho.. he's literally like that 💀

[bruciemilf]

“You don’t seem very afraid.”

Superman is a sunshine giant. That’s how the camera flashes portray him, how the media frames him, how every mouth from Metropolis to Gotham describes him.

And even if Batman has to look up, Clark still feels tiny, watching a trail of limp aliens bodies laying down at the other man’s feet.

Maybe they wouldn’t be so battered if they didn’t kidnap a tiny birdie with heart shaped bangs, currently clinging to the Knight’s leg.

It’s a very specific kind of power Bruce carries. Like someone who fist-fought the world and won.

“You don’t seem very frightening.”

Clark is sweating and it’s not fear.

[totally-here]

3 times Phantom's Guardian was Mentioned + 1 Time He Showed Up

One

Phantom’s introduction to Young Justice wasn’t as dramatic as Empress’ or Slobo’s, or even Arrowette’s first introduction to the cave. No, it wasn’t during the Olympics, or on a battlefield, and he didn’t come in injured and looking for help. 

Impulse just brought Phantom in one day and insisted that he should join because he’s their age, interested in justice, and now that Greta’s human again they need another ghost member. So Phantom stayed, popping in and out for missions but never really sticking around all that long. 

Today is one of the days that Phantom’s with them on a mission, that being looking around a lab of the Brain’s that had an energy surge recently, despite it being presumably abandoned. 

Kon got paired up with Phantom to check the rest out first, since they both have better hearing than Anita and Tim, who were both still in the main room working on checking the computers for previous activity. 

The room is dark except for the light green ball glowing slightly above Phantom’s hand. He waves it around enough for it to reflect off of glass, then throws it up to the ceiling. The light expands enough to illuminate the room. 

Phantom mumbles about not knowing he could do that. Kon ignores him and moves closer to inspect the glass tubes to the side of several monitors set up. 

“Looks like cloning equipment,” Phantom says, casually. He drags a finger through the dust gathering on one of the monitors. “Don’t think they’ve been activated recently, though, so that’s good.”

“What? You got a problem with clones or something?” It’s a quick and defensive answer, and Phantom puts his hands up in surrender. 

“Not in concept.” He shrugs and joins Kon near the tubes. “But not a lot of people ask before making clones.”

“So I don’t need to sic Superman on you?” Obviously Kon could chew Phantom out himself, but few can do a “not mad, just disappointed” face better than Clark. 

Phantom scrunches his face. “Why would you need to?” 

Kon stops pretending to inspect the tube and stares at Phantom. “You do know I’m a clone, right?” The blank look on Phantom’s face tells him that no, he did not. “Well I am. Clone of Superman, though we’re pretty much brothers now.”

“Cool,” Phantom says, not a bit less friendly. He hesitates for a second before continuing, “Could I maybe ask you how you got there? Me and my clone have landed on cousins, but that was also, like, given to us by her evil dad. So.”

Phantom trails off. Huh, that makes three members of the team that have been cloned. Not a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened three times. 

“You’re making sure she feels accepted, right?” 

“Yeah! Well, whenever she’s around. She,” Phantom waves his hand around, looking for the right word, “She’s a wanderer. Exploring the world and stuff. But Richard has a room for her at home, and I remind her of that whenever she does stop by.” 

“Well, first of all, don’t push it so hard,” Kon says. Phantom nods enthusiastically. “And second, who’s Richard?”

Kon doesn’t know a lot of Richards, and he doesn’t think that Phantom ever mentioned one before. Or even if he remembers his living life. 

“Oh, he’s my, uh, guardian? I guess that’s the best term. The guy I’m living with who forces me to go to school sometimes.” Phantom looks away and back to the tubes. 

Before Kon can ask for more details, Robin and Empress come in with a report of dead computers and wanting to know where they’re at with the cloning room.

They’re unimpressed with their lack of progress.

Two

Wally doesn’t really need to come by the Hamilton Lodge that often, not when that’s Young Justice’s territory and he doesn’t want to get involved in all of That.

But Red Tornado said that the team has a file on a planet that’s very quickly becoming a league problem, and he figured it might be a good time to try to check in with Bart, anyway. Make sure he hasn’t run any cars off cliffs again and all that. 

So he stops by Manchester to ask Bart about the file, then they both head East to actually find it. 

When they arrive at the hotel minutes later, Wally’s surprised to actually find it… clean? There’s no visible trash or overturned furniture or anything else he’d expect from an abandoned hotel filled with teenagers. Well, maybe not filled, lately. He doesn’t think anyone’s living here currently, with Greta at Elias’ for the school year and Slobo gone. 

Still, the room smells slightly of artificial pine scent, and Bart perks up before disappearing and reappearing rapidly, holding a teammate up by his armpits. Said teammate just accepts this, his legs folding into a wispy tail, and head rolling against his shoulders. 

“This is Phantom!” Bart holds him up higher. Phantom waves. Wally’s only heard of him through Max’s updates, the same way he would hear about Preston or Carol, but with more wariness about the supposed ghost. 

Actually looking at the pale face and glowing green eyes contrasting against the darker than dark jumpsuit, Wally’s a little more ready to accept his claim at being undead. 

“He stress cleans,” Bart explains, moving to carry Phantom under his arm. Wally bites down the urge to tell him to put him down, but only because Phantom doesn’t resist the hold, only moving to get into a more comfortable position. His hands are touching the floor. “So what happened?” 

Bart directs the question downwards, and Phantom heaves a very dramatic sigh. Definitely a teenager. It does raise the question of who exactly this kid’s mentor is. Hopefully he does have one. Maybe he’s the Spectre’s kid?

Phantom phases through the arm holding him only to lay on top of Bart’s hair. “I accidentally called Richard dad. And then fled.” 

Bart nods sagely. “Classic. One time I accidentally called Max dad, so I had to start a fire to distract him.”

Phantom sighs again, almost dreamily. “Genius.” 

Wally doesn’t have time to unpack all of that. Well he does, but he’s not going to, because there’s really only one Richard that comes to mind that might have the heart to take in a dead kid, even if he doesn’t go by his full name.

But surely Dick would have told him, or any other Titan, if he had adopted a kid. Right?

But there’s still a little shadow of doubt. Maybe Dick wanted it to be a secret, or it was really new or had a rocky start. Phantom doesn’t seem to hold himself like a Bat, but it’s not a guarantee Dick would have trained him. 

“The lodge looks nice,” Wally offers out loud, which Phantom shrugs at and wraps his tail around Bart’s head to keep secure. “Anyway, Impulse. The file on Myrg?” 

“Oh yeah!” Again, Bart disappears then reappears a few seconds later with a paper file. They really need to start digitizing more of these things. “That’s the planet where we played baseball so that they wouldn’t destroy Earth!” 

“You what.” 

The prospect of Dick following in his dad’s footsteps is forgotten in the face of what the hell Young Justice got up to on Myrg. 

Three

Tim may be in a…Predicament. 

It’s not his fault. Really. He knew what he was doing. He couldn’t let a civilian fall for the trap. But they were already so close, so he just, kinda, pushed himself into the rope instead. 

So there Robin is, tied upside down in a warehouse, with the Joker below next to an overly complicated control panel. The clown’s rambling about bombs hidden all over the city that Tim knows Batman is already tracking down with Batgirl. 

Tim’s not really paying attention to the rant because of that, more focused on wiggling enough to get the spare mini-birdarang out of his glove to cut the rope without notifying the Joker. 

“Yikes, bad time?” Asks Phantom’s voice beside him. Based on the source and accounting for the slight echo, he’s floating with his head near Tim’s, likely upside down. “Want some help?” 

Tim gets the birdarang out and starts sawing at the thick rope. They should be fine anyway, but stalling the Joker for extra time would be helpful. “Can you possess the Joker? Just hold him still.”

“The correct term is overshadow, but sure.” The voice disappears, and a few seconds later the Joker freezes. 

His body jerks forward, then backward, and a laugh chokes out of his throat. His hand claws over his mouth at the noise and he hunches over. All movement halts before he rights himself, shaking out his hands and rolling his shoulders. Phantom looks up at Tim and his eyes are glowing. 

Tim cuts through the rope, kicking and using the momentum to right himself and land on his feet. He brushes past Phantom in Joker’s body to handle the control panel. He turns off the radio broadcast and dismantles the bomb strapped to the panel.

Threat handled, he turns to Phantom and holds up some handcuffs. “Let me arrest you?”

Phantom obliges, turning the Joker’s body around and putting his hands behind his back. Tim lets him walk by himself out of the warehouse and moves the handcuffs around a lamppost. The Joker’s body jerks again, then slumps forward, just as Phantom reappears next to him, scowling down at the unconscious body. 

“That felt really slimy. Zero out of ten, would not do again,” Phantom grouches. 

“Why’re you in Gotham?” Tim asks. It’s not like Phantom makes a habit of visiting. The last time he came into the city, he complained about feeling the dead under the streets. Fortunately, that let Tim uncover a few tunnels that Talons travel through. Phantom, however, was unnerved by the Talons and left quickly. 

“Oh, Solomon Grundy’s back in our sewers. Richard said I should probably tell one of you Gotham heroes, since you keep track of those guys.” He shakes out his hands like they were cramped in the Joker. 

They hadn’t seen Grundy in a while. Tim assumed he was currently in a less violent personality. “What’s he doing?” 

Phantom shrugs. “Just chilling. Mostly underground. I tried to talk to him but he only grunted back at me. He also tried to pick me up, dunno what that was about.”

“Maybe because you’re both dead?” Tim guessed. That would be a surface level connection. Ivy and Woodrue have had more luck working with Grundy than anyone, and Phantom definitely doesn’t have the connection to the Green that’d help with that. 

Police lights turn around the corner, and Tim shoots a grapple to get to the roof above them. Phantom follows, but disappears as soon as they’re on the roof. Going back home, probably. 

Cass drops down from the roof she was listening on. “Richard?”

“Not the same one.”

They both stick around long enough to watch the Joker get put into the cop car. 

Plus one

A spaceship landed in the forests of New York, and Cassie’s team was the first to respond to it. Technically not respond, but check it out, since there wasn’t any alert or anything. 

Still, Wonder Girl has Empress, Robin, and Superboy on the other side of the ship, watching what looks like the back door, while she, Impulse, and Phantom watch the other door and main window. She has binoculars, but the windows are so tinted she can’t quite make anything out. 

No aliens have come out yet, and she hesitates to have anyone go in, in case whoever inside does turn hostile. 

Impulse has offered to run through a total of five times already, and it’s a testament to his restraint that he hasn’t, and a testament to Cassie’s that she hasn’t yelled at him yet. Phantom at least isn’t being annoying, but he’s not necessarily helpful, either. He’s not even watching the spaceship anymore. Now he’s trying to make a flower crown out of dandelions. 

“Door’s opening on our side,” Robin says from the comms. “But no one’s coming out.” 

“Alright, good enough to try to get in,” Cassie decides. She turns to Phantom, who’s closing off the circle of flowers. Beside him, Impulse has since pulled out a gameboy. “Phantom, go in invisibly through the open door and report back. Try to see what their plans are.” 

“Oh, sure. One second.” Phantom finishes the crown and tries to put it on Bart’s head. It doesn’t quite fit over his mane of hair, but Phantom shrugs and leaves it sitting there anyway before going invisible. 

“Maybe I should shave my head again,” Bart says as his game character dies. 

He gets a resounding no in response. 

Half an hour later they have a very annoyed Green Lantern lecturing them about league jurisdiction and knowing when to call someone else. 

Apparently, the alien ship was just stopping to complete some maintenance, and did not appreciate any spying on them, and especially did not appreciate who did it. Green Lantern was more than happy to explain that Wonder Girl’s team is not really a part of the Justice League and he can help with their maintenance. They denied his help and left to find a place with less people in it. 

“-and you!” Green Lantern rounds on Phantom next, but Cassie knows none of them are really listening. Sure, they messed up by freaking out the visiting aliens, and yeah maybe they should have contacted the league about it, but they’ve dealt with stuff worse than this! It’s not Cassie’s fault she thought that this would have stuck to the formula. 

“Who even are you?” Green Lantern runs a hand through his black hair, stupid green gauntlets shining in the sunlight. “Do I need to call your mentor?” He frowns. “Or do they know you mess up alien technology by just being around it?” 

Phantom scoffs and rolls his eyes. “How was I supposed to know their tech would go all fuzzy when I came in?” 

“You wouldn’t have to know if you just stayed out of the spaceship!” 

“Hey!” Cassie cuts in. “Technically that was my call. It’s not all on Phantom.”

“I still could've been more careful,” Phantom says to her, ignoring Green Lantern as they argue about blame. 

“Cut it out for a second, okay?” Green Lantern puts a hand between them and they stop to glare at him. He pulls the hand back. “Look, can I just talk to one of your adults about this?” 

Robin glares. “We don’t need an adult. We have this under control.”

“Only because I’m here now.” 

“I’ll call my mentor,” Phantom says. Kon opens his mouth, most likely to offer to call Superman instead in hopes of a lighter sentence, but Bart covers his mouth, smiling like he knows something Cassie doesn’t. Tim and Anita share a look, and don’t intervene as Phantom pulls out a phone from his chest. 

It rings once before it’s picked up. Cassie can’t hear the other side of the conversation, but Kon’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “Hey, do you think you can pick me up? Green Lantern wants to talk to you.” Phantom looks Green Lantern up and down then says, “No, this one doesn’t have a cape.”

Phantom says goodbye after rattling off their coordinates, hangs up, and stares at Green Lantern in silence for a few seconds. 

And then a swirling mass of black seeps into the space next to Phantom. The end of a cane steps out of it, followed by a leg, then the rest of the immaculately dressed man holding the handle of the cane that’s shaped like a bird’s head. 

“Phantom,” The man says. His voice drips with condescension in only a way a british accent can, yet Phantom smiles up at him. The shadowy portal behind him disappears. “What, exactly, happened?”

“That’s the fucking Shade,” Anita hisses to Robin, who shrugs noncommittedly at her. Green Lantern seems to recognise him too, taking a step back and clenching his hand that holds his ring. 

“Well, the team and I were staking out this spaceship–super cool, by the way–and I went inside to check it out, but my presence messed with their tech–which was an accident–and they freaked out, so I freaked out, and then we kinda got into a little fight until Green Lantern came to mediate.”

“Hm. Is that right?” The Shade asks Green Lantern, who nods slowly, still anticipating an attack. “It seems like the problem’s fixed, then.”

“Well, yes, but–”

“And it does seem about time for these kids to get home, doesn't it?” The Shade pulls out an actual pocket watch, chain and all, from his suit pocket and takes his time in checking it. “I’ll see them home.” 

Shadows grow from behind the team, swirling until they become a giant, gaping maw that swallows them up and spits them out in a different forest, or maybe just a different part of the same forest. 

Either way, Cassie has to take a moment to make sure she doesn’t throw up from the sudden vertigo the shadow portal caused. 

The Shade looks at Phantom, and raises an eyebrow. “You can’t expect me to always bail you out.” 

Phantom shrugs, looking guilty. “I know. Thanks, Richard.”

Oh, so that’s who Richard is. Annoyingly, neither Tim or Bart look surprised by this revelation.

[blehhblep]

[loriache]

Kabru, impossible mutual understanding & unknowable objects

Despite his concerted and constant efforts to understand other people, it’s established in a few extras that Kabru believes that true mutual understanding between certain different races is impossible. Specifically, between long-lived and short-lived races, and between humans and demi-humans. Partially, we can trace this conviction back to specific hang-ups caused by his life; the trauma of the Utaya disaster, prejudices he carries from his childhood, and his experience of racism among the elves. In this “little” essay, I’m gonna discuss how I think those experiences formed this belief, how it comes out in his actions, and how some of his actions seem to contradict it. The question of whether it’s possible to reach mutual understanding with other living beings despite our differences is one of the core themes of the manga, and I’ll also touch on how this aspect of Kabru’s character links to that.

Seeking understanding

Kabru is a character who devotes a huge amount of time and effort to understanding people, and he is very good at it. In his internal monologue, we can tell how advanced and complex his skills of analysis are. He is able to read a huge amount of information just from looking at people's faces and body language.

People are, to him, what monsters are to Laios. This is something that's been expanded on at length in other, excellent meta. It's the fact that they're foils; it's the fact that Kabru is also very easy to read as autistic, with a special interest which is the opposite and parallel of Laios'. It's something that came out of trauma and alienation, as Laios' special interest in monsters also began as a coping mechanism.

The complicated origin of this "love" for monsters and for people comes through, I think, in the fact that one of the places we see both characters use their fixation is in being very, very good at killing the thing that they love. This also ties into the idea that loving something isn't even remotely mutually exclusive with using it to sustain your own survival; using it for your own purposes; hurting it or killing it. Love can be, and often is, violent, possessive and consumptive. This understanding is part of what makes Kui's depiction of interpersonal relationships so compelling to me.

While Laios fixated on monsters and animals to seek a place of escape, in both his imagination and his self-image, from the humans who he couldn't understand and who couldn't understand him, Kabru seems to have fixated on understanding people in order to navigate the complex, socially marginal places that he has been forced into throughout his life. As an illegitimate child raised by a single mother with an appearance that marked him out as different to the point his father's family wanted to kill him, and a tallman child raised among elves who didn't treat him as fully human and wanted him to perform gratefulness for that treatment – treatment that, after he met Rin at age 9, he certainly always understood could be a lot worse – his ability to work out what people wanted from him, whether they were friendly or hostile or had ulterior motives, wasn’t just an interest. It will have been an essential skill.  

Milsiril, I think, was a flawed parent who tried to do her best by Kabru and did a lot of harm to him despite her best intentions. She may have treated him much better than an average elf would have, but like Otta and Marcille's mother, there are other elves with different outlooks on short-lived races. How would they judge her treatment of him? We don’t have any insight on what it could be, but to be honest, the person’s whose opinion of her I’d be most interested in knowing is Rin’s.

But even if she'd been perfect, living as an trans-racial adoptee in a deeply hierarchical nation with a queen who is a 'staunch traditionalist' who wouldn't even acknowledge the existence of a half-elf like Marcille (according to Cithis) is an experience that would deeply impact anyone.

Elves & Impossible mutual understanding

While Kabru was living with Milsiril - in other words, while living in the Northern Central Continent - he came to believe that "there was no way to achieve mutual understanding with the long-lived races."

This is evident in his political project: he wants short-lived races to have ownership over the dungeon's secrets. Despite his dislike of the Lord of the Island, he's a useful bulwark to stop the elves taking over. Despite his doubts about Laios, Laios needs to be the one to defeat the dungeon, because if he doesn't the elves will take over.

Kabru still carries a deep scar from Utaya, one that was exacerbated by the fact that he never got an answer to any of his questions about what happened or why. This, despite the fact that Milsiril knows about the demon and how it works. Do you think Kabru, with his social perceptiveness that borders on the superhuman, wasn't aware that she knew more than she would tell him?

Given that, the fact that he gets to a place where he "doesn't have any particularly negative feelings about [elves/long-lived species]" .... well, to put it bluntly, I believe that he thinks that's the case, but I kind of doubt it. After all, if he did have resentment, of Milsiril (someone who was his primary provider and caretaker since age six, and who despite her flaws, loves him and who I do think he loves) or of elves (who he has had to play nice with for most of his life, in order to survive, and will still have to play nice with in order to achieve his goals, since they hold all the power) what would that do except hurt him and make his life harder? Kabru is Mr. Pragmatic, so I don't think he'd let himself acknowledge any such feelings he did have. Exactly because he can't acknowledge them, they're well placed to get internalised as beliefs about the Fundamental Unchangeable Nature of the World.

However, these stated beliefs seem to contradict his actions. Despite his belief in the impossibility of forming a mutual understanding, he certainly seems to try to understand long-lived people, just as much as he does short-lived people. There's no noticeable difference between his treatment of Daya & Holm versus Mickbell & Rin that isn't clearly down to their relationship with him. His skills of human analysis were honed and developed while living amongst elves, and as soon as he's alone with Mithrun he immediately sets to understanding him - his interests, his motivations, his needs, and his past.

He treats him considerately and without bias, and despite the fact that Mithrun conquering the dungeon for the elves is both a reenactment of a core part of his childhood trauma and a political disaster for his aims, that doesn't seem to colour his perspective on Mithrun negatively at all.

This is something I find extremely laudable about Kabru, and it's another way he parallels Laios. He seems to understand that people, as a rule, (in Laios' case, he understands this about monsters - and eventually, all living beings) will act in their own interests, and if those interests conflict with yours, might harm you. But that's just their nature, and it's not something that should be held against them; you're also doing the same thing, after all. The crux of Laios' arc is precisely that he has to accept the responsibility of hurting someone else in order to achieve what he wants.

Kabru is deeply concerned with his own morals, what he should and shouldn't do, but mostly in the context of responsibility for the consequences - a responsibility he takes onto himself. He isn't scrupulous about what he needs to do in order to create the outcome he wants, but if he fails to create that outcome, then....

He blames himself to the point of thinking he should die. He doesn't blame Laios, or seem at all angry with him, despite concluding he should have killed him to prevent this outcome. That's because in his eyes, ultimately Laios was going to act according to his own nature, and it's Kabru's fault for not understanding that nature well enough. He's extremely confident in his ability to understand and predict others, (including elves and other long-lived people). Then, where does his conviction that mutual understanding is impossible come from?

Partially, it's the "mutual" part. I'm sure Kabru, who isn't able or willing to deny Otta's insinuation that Milsiril saw him more like a pet than a son, has felt that his full interiority, the depth of his feelings and his ability to grow, act, and think as a fully equal being, was something that the elves around him just couldn't grasp. Because that was their excuse for it, he came to understand this as a gulf between short-lived and long-lived beings, an inevitable difference in outlook caused by their different lifespans.

This experience might be part of what leads to his iconic “fake” behaviour. He trusts his ability to understand others, but if they aren’t able to understand him, then there isn’t any benefit to being honest about his feelings and thoughts. If his attempts to reach mutual understanding with his caretakers were never able to be fulfilled, then it isn’t any wonder that he reacts with such surprise and horror at blurting out his desire to be Laios’ friend.

In his experience, making yourself vulnerable in that way only leads to being hurt. Soothing him, hushing him, lying to him, talking to him like a child that isn’t able to use proper judgement – that’s an inadequate and deeply hurtful way to respond to genuine distress, the desire for autonomy, or disagreement. Ultimately, I think that’s why he comes out on the side of being grateful to Milsiril; because she did equip him with the skills and knowledge he’d need to reach his goal, and let him go.

Though he could understand them, they couldn't understand him. To the extent that was true - which I'm sure it was - it wasn't due to anything about lifespan. It was due to the elves’ racism, and the solipsitic mindset & prejudiced attitude that it caused them to approach him with.

Because, if it needs to be said, the idea that there is an unbreachable gap in understanding between the long-lived and short-lived species is not true. Marcille and Laios have a much greater difference in lifespan than any full elf from any short-lived person, and they’re able to understand each other – maybe not perfectly, but better than many other people who are closer in life-span to them.

That doesn’t mean that I think Kabru is wrong about this, however. Because there’s an interpretation of his statement that is reflected in his actions and is true. When he talks about his problem with elves, it’s not just their attitudes: it’s their power, and what they use it to do. They “explain nothing and take everything”. Though it’s presented in the guise of ‘guiding and protecting’, in fact it’s a simple case of a powerful nation using their military power, wealth, access to resources, and historically stolen land – including the island itself – to protect their own interests and advance their own agenda. That’s why they’d be able to show up, seize the dungeon, and forcibly take Kabru’s party and Laios’ party to the West. If Kabru wants to stop that from happening, or change that status quo, persuasion or a bid to be understood would be completely pointless. Between the political blocs formed by long-lived species and the interests of short-lived species, “mutual understanding”, given their current, unequal terms, would be impossible. This is something that we see reflected in Kabru’s actions; before he asks his questions about the dungeon, he grabs Mithrun as leverage. He never really attempts to persuade the canaries to see his point of view, because that would be pointless: they’re agents of the Northern Central Continent’s monarchy, and will act in its interests regardless of any individual relationship with him.  

I don’t think Kabru sees the different dimensions of this belief of his in quite such clear terms, however, as is evidenced by the other group who he thinks it’s impossible to communicate with.

Demi-Humans & Unknowable Objects

The other place that we see his conviction about the impossibility of mutual understanding is in the kobold extra.

I'm including the whole thing, because I think it's an excellent and clever piece of world-building. Aside from what it says about Kabru, which I'll expand on shortly, what this extra does is deconstruct and call into question the usual "fantasy ontological biology" present in these sort of DnD-like settings. Essentially, the kind of worldbuilding where a race (such as kobolds) can be described as war-like, and that's establishing something essential about their biological nature. That's common to the point that if Kui didn't include this, some people would probably come away thinking that's the case about, e.g., the orcs.

But here, despite what Kabru is saying, the information the reader actually gets is:

the conflict between short-lived humans and demi-humans such as kobolds is mostly over access to material resources that they need to survive.

These resources are scarce because powerful nations, such as the elves, have monopolised them.

Kabru, who has grown up in a place at the centre of these conflicts, ascribes essential, negative traits to a cultural group which was in direct conflict with his own. Communication with this other group is impossible; they aren't people, they're more like objects.

oh yes! just like this conflict between groups of tall-men, a conflict which the reader will immediately interpret as more clearly analogous to real-life racism. Our other protagonists also carry prejudices from growing up in a place where a marginalised group was in conflict with the dominant group over scarce resources. It's definitely impossible to communicate with these people, and you can only kill them.

Woah, when you say it like that, it sounds pretty bad!

But also, nobody walks away having had a realisation or unlearned their prejudices - because they don't have the tools they need to do that work. Yet. I do think, to an extent, it could happen - especially with Kabru, since it's suggested in the epilogue that Melini might become a safe-haven for demi-humans.

To focus in on Kabru, the key here is his statement that you should think of demi-humans as "unknowable objects". Even his extraordinary powers of understanding have seemingly hit a limit. Part of this is just inherited prejudice, and doesn't need to have a complicated psychological explanation, any more than the elves who were prejudiced against him need one.

But also... this is probably somewhat linked to the way demi-humans seem to be considered "pseudo-monsters". They're the place that the strict delineation between the human and the monstrous is permeated. Laios, who is not interested in humans, remembers and is excited by Kuro. Chilchuck and Laios argue over whether it's OK to eat a mermaid. Kabru's prepared to (pretend to) roll with the idea that Laios ate the orcs.

But these are people, aren't they? Of course, this is a social construction, as we see from the fact that in the Eastern Archipelago, the label of "human" is reserved for tallmen, but in most of the rest of the world it depends on some obviously arbirary classification based on number of bones; "demi-humans" aren't in any essential way monstrous, except to an extent in their appearance, and physical location - due to their marginal social status, they're pushed out to live in unsafe places such as dungeons.

Therefore, Kabru's view of demi-humans as fundamentally "other", unable to be understood - monstrous - could be read as akin to abjection, the psychoanalytical concept described by Julia Kristeva. In order to create a bounded, secure superego, that thing which permeates and calls into question the border between self and other, human and animal, life and death, is rejected and pushed to the margin.

“Not me. Not that. But not nothing, either. A "something" that I do not recognize as a thing.[...] On the edge of nonexistence and hallucination, of a reality that, if I acknowledge it, annihilates me. There, abject and abjection are my safeguards. The primers of my culture.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 11) “It is thus not lack of cleanliness or health that causes abjection but what disturbs identity, system, order. ” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 13) “The pure will be that which conforms to an established taxonomy; the impure, that which unsettles it, establishes intermixture and disorder. [...] the impure will be those that do not confine themselves to one element but point to admixture and confusion.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 107) (discussing food prohibitions in Leviticus)

This is both (due to its affinity with food-loathing and disgust) a very fruitful concept to apply to dunmeshi, and a psychoanalytical theory which I wouldn't exactly cosign as True Facts About Human Psychological Development. You may also know the abject from its utilisation in the classic essay "Horror and the Monstrous-Feminine" by Barbara Creed - that's a lot more approachable than Kristeva if anyone's interested.

Key here, though, is that through the symbol of the "demi-human" is embodied a step between "human" and "monster" - and that's a prospect that puts at risk the whole notion of an absolute separation between those two categories in the first place. To Laios, that's something wonderful, and to Kabru, it's terrifying. We can see this principle further embodied in the relationship both characters have with the notion of becoming monstrous.

To Laios, this is transcendent, and represents a renunciation of everything human - in fact, if it didn't, it wouldn't "count".

To Kabru, it's a deeply-held fear, established by his childhood alienation (due to his illegitimacy, his eyes, and perhaps also his neurodivergency), deepened by monster-related trauma and the sense of responsibility and survivors guilt he feels for what happened at Utaya. His identity as a human who is not monstrous is key to his sense of stability and safety; he doesn't want to touch monsters, he doesn't even want to see them.

To acknowledge a kinship, a possibility of similarity between the things he loves (humans) and the things he hates (monsters) would be more than touching them - it would be putting them inside him. We know, quite explicitly, that this notion is triggering to Kabru. He literally has what seems to be a flashback when he's about to eat the harpy omelette.

So he abjects it, classifying the demi-human as fundamentally unlike him - an unknowable object, or an object that he refuses to know. Because in understanding it, he would interject the things he hates and fears into his self, which is already, always under threat by that hated and feared object.

Of course, again, Kabru isn't very good at enacting this refusal in practice. For one, when he chooses between his desires and ingesting the feared object, eating monsters... he eats monsters. Part of this is treating himself badly, the "ends justify the means" mentality. His goal is to destroy all monsters, so if he needs to become monster-like to do that, he will. But part of it is also the other motivation that he didn't even seem to know about until he said it: he wants to become Laios' friend, and to learn from him how a person can like monsters. He wants, at least in some part of him, to reconcile the feared and hated object into something he can understand.

For another:

Kabru can speak the kobold language. In the first place, while this may have been common in Utaya, it also could have been something he chose to learn, an early expression of his interest in understanding and talking to all sorts of people. It isn't the kind of thing you learn if you believe that communication between yourself and the group that speak it is impossible, is it?

It's possible to harbour prejudices against a group while being kind to an individual, and given Kabru has those prejudices regardless of his reasons, that is what he is doing. But also, his treatment of Kuro doesn't reflect a sincerely held belief that he's an "unknowable object" at all. His approach is exactly the same as it is to any other person: an analysis of goal and motive, and an attempt to help if he's sympathetic and their goals align - going out of his way to give language and local knowledge lessons in secret. His conviction that Mickbell and Kuro will truly become friends when they can properly communicate is completely contradictory to any sense of demi-humans as fundamentally different, or impossible to reach mutual understanding with. To me, it seems like this self-protective shield against the corruptive force demi-humans as an idea present to his identity, this abjection, when Kabru is face-to-face with one, just simply can't hold up against his finely honed skill of intellectual empathy. Perhaps because he's autistic, it seems his "empathy" is less an emotional mirror response, and more a set of cognitive skills for analysis of others. That instinctual, emotional empathy might not trigger when presented with a member of an out-group, but if it’s possible for Kabru to turn his cognitive empathy off, we don’t see him do it.

This isn't to say that this prejudice doesn't affect his behaviour. For one, it could negatively impact his judgement of politics and policy, where individual people don't enter into it. For another, I'm not convinced he'd be willing to overlook Mickbell's exploitative relationship with Kuro if Kuro wasn't a kobold. As it is, since both of them are satisfied, he doesn't feel like he needs to intervene, regardless of the fact Mickbell isn't paying Kuro. But if Daya and Holm were in a relationship, and Holm took both Daya's and his own share from their ventures, but only compensated her in living expenses and kept the rest, do you think he'd tolerate it, for example? Even if she said it was OK?

Conclusion

The kelpie chapter establishes that "people can never know what monsters are really thinking." That isn't just true of monsters, though.

True mutual understanding is impossible - between anyone. We can never truly understand another person's heart. This is touched on in, for example, the existence of shapeshifters and dopplegangers. Even a monster that seemed like a perfect copy of a person wouldn’t be that person, and wouldn’t be a satisfactory replacement.

We’re intended, I think, to understand the winged lion's repeated suggestions to just replace people who have been lost with copies as something uncanny, which demonstrates the way that the winged lion never manages to attain a complete understanding of humans. A version of a person who was created to fulfil your memories of them, to be the person who you wanted them to be, would be a terrible, miserable thing.

Disagreeing, coming into conflict, and misunderstanding each other, are essential parts of what it means to be living beings, as fundamental as the need to eat.

The only thing to do is not to take more than you need to eat to survive, and not impose your own desires onto others. To do your best to sincerely communicate your desires, even if they're embarrassing or vulnerable or strange, like Kabru eventually does with Laios; like Laios does, bit by bit, with the people around him; like Marcille does, Chilchuck does, Senshi does... to hope they will accept you, and do your best to understand them in return.

We can re-examine, in that context, Kabru's line about the elves' tendency to "explain nothing and take everything".

They have the power to impose their preferred "menu" onto less powerful groups. And in that context, mutual understanding being impossible just means that they won't give up their power because they're asked nicely. Kabru's goal is to seize the truth that they won't give to him, and to create a situation where they can't take everything. Because he's accurately surmised that nothing about the treatment of short-lived races will change so long as the power imbalance remains. Despite the way he mistakenly ascribes part of that to "long-lived vs short-lived" or "human vs demi-human", the actual gulfs in understanding he identifies are structural, are about power and about access to material resources and safety.

I think he could come to recognise this. Yaad is teaching him political science after all, and while a prince's lessons on political science won't exactly get at much that's radical or invested in the interests and perspectives of the marginalised (Capital is a critique of for a reason after all...) I believe in Kabru's ability to learn critically and get more from a lesson than it was intended to teach.

[mangopike]

michael iterations!

vague gerrymichael below the cut

[alimicart]

*microwaves your Siffrin*

[raps-hellion]

demigods who know how to cook:

leo — he and esperanza valdez would've cooked together. besides, his life in foster care was rough and he had to fend for himself, so learning to cook was a necessity.

frank — he had to look after his grandmother, and he seems like the type who can fold an impeccable shrimp dumpling.

hazel — she and marie levesque could've cooked together, though hazel had to rely more and more on herself as marie grew more distant.

annabeth — she seems like she would've taken up cooking as a practicality/means to survive, especially since she ran away from home at such a young age.

demigods who don't know how to cook:

jason — he was raised by wolves. enough said.

percy — he knows about as much as an average teenager who's been raised by a loving parent. probably can make pasta and blue pancakes, but that's it. wouldn't be surprised if he tried to microwave an egg.

piper — i think she would've had a housekeeper or a nanny to cook for her when her dad was away (given how well-off and successful tristan mclean is). though she seems like she'd be the most successful out of these four.

nico — he was stuck in the lotus casino for 70 years, idk if this boy even knows what a microwave is.

[micro-wav]

The common Regretevator elevator cast and their favorite way to eat eggs ☆

[This was only supposed to be a fun little conversation topic in the official Discord, but it got out of hand, I'm not sorry]

STAT

STAT likes her eggs Over-hard

She always says "Runny yolks are for kids!" but jokes on her because statistically speaking children appreciate over-hard eggs more than other gooey preparation methods as they have a less refined palette and don't like the texture

But don't retaliate with that unless you want her to ignore you for an indefinite amount of time...

Pest

Pest likes pickled eggs

If you pester him enough about his choice, he'll grumble that "they taste better than whatever you like" and while that's not necessarily a lie, the real reason behind it is that they are easy to preserve!

If you store them sealed, in a dark place they practically last forever and as someone who's basically always on the run or working it's easy to have those around multiple diffrent places

Infected

Infected really likes Soft-boiled eggs

they are a low-cost, easy to make addition to all the diffrent kinds of cup ramen he's got in his cupboard!

A yummy meal which he enjoys while waiting for his computer to start up so he can get on MySpace and ramble about whatever's currently occupying his mind

Lampert

Lampert likes Hard-Scrambled eggs!

It's a predictable, easy way to make eggs and also not too soft so it doesn't make a mess on his plate afterwards

There is little distinction between the yolk and the white, it all kinda blends together and unless you've got a keen eye, you can't really tell them apart

something something lampert blends into Rokea with the other lamps just like the yolk and the egg white-

Wallter

Wallter, the lover of arts and all things fancy, makes some mean Deviled eggs and he KNOWS that they're good because whenever he makes them, they are gone quick

The same thing goes for his Christmas Deviled eggs he prepares during the holidays, gone in a flash

just like him when he tries to join the elevator, but its full-

Melanie

She really likes cloud eggs!

The egg whites are as light and as fluffy as they sound, the silky-smooth yolk a nice finishing touch and lets be honest, who wouldn't wanna eat a cloud?

And although the process may be difficult, sometimes hardships have to come before happiness is found

Bive

Hard-boiled eggs, 100%

Easy to make, doesn't take much time and can be left unsupervised without catching on fire so she can look at her pin board of evidence while they boil

But even if they are more forgiving than the other preparation methods, they, too, do have a breaking point

When she finally does check on them, she finds that they have cracked in the water </3

Split

The classic sunny side up egg

"Look at life on the sunny side up!"

Prefers it on a slice of mushroom toast in the morning, "an egg-cellent way to start the day!"

Can't help but Crack jokes even during breakfast "Why do people love eating hard-boiled eggs for breakfast? They're hard to beat!"

Poor Bive, it's questionable if eating the food is going to commence anytime soon

Unpleasant

Frozen egg.

What's a Frozen egg?

You take a raw egg, poke a long stick through it and put it in the freezer for 1 hour

On second thought, maybe it would be more of a popsicle egg?

Let's just move on, the thought is highly unpleasant;;

Mark

Loves those Diner-style omelets

They are cooked on high heat instead of low heat like their French cousin, making it a much quicker breakfast to make, but you can't take the work out of the man, simple is not in his vocabulary, he'd never be satisfied with just an egg cooked in water

Ham, peppers, cheese as a filling, herbs, seasoning as needed and he's ready to go out there and work!

Poob

Not your typical food, but Poob likes Prairie oyster eggs!

For those unaware, it's a raw egg in a glass with some salt, Tabasco and Worcestershire

Someone once told them that it's a remedy for a hangover and they believed it!

They continue to have it ever since and as long as it's not hurting them it's best to just let them be, ignorance is bliss after all

Folly

I doubt Folly cooks, let alone even needs to eat, but if she would, she'd like Egg cooked in broth

It's a comfort food, hot chicken broth with two beaten eggs slowly poured into it so everything mixes nicely together

Of course, she doesn't need to be comforted, she's fine, stop asking her stupid questions

She'd have a bowl in her domain in quiet as she waits for unsuspecting victims to torture once more

Mozelle

Her highness would like a sweet Soufflé omelet!

A modern novelty, but she has all the time in the world and she's not the one who prepares it so it's fine

As fluffy and as sweet as a pancake, she likes hers with lots of cinnamon, vanilla extract, sweetener and strawberries as a garnish

Spud

A fan of soft-scrambled eggs

Is it difficult to place the egg that's got the texture of cottage cheese into Spuds vertical mouth? Yes

Is that gonna stop Spud? No!

Fuzzy memories of simpler times where scrambled eggs and bacon was something Spud could make without help come to mind, but they are as fleeting as the summer breeze

Pilby

Steamed custard egg!

That was their mom's favorite way to prepare eggs, it's got the consistency of pie filling :0(

Sometimes, late at night when everyone should be asleep there is a faint Egg smell appearing in Machs Office. She knows why it's there, she has no need to check, but she does it anyways

It's what friends do.

The Egg-ceptions:

Neither Prototype nor Reddy eat eggs. If you're funny with it you might try and Crack an egg on their heads and see if it cooks.

DrRetro and Gnarpy, such as normal cats, have no need for eggs as consumption. No more than 10% of your cat’s daily calories should come from treats—including eggs as they can easily lead to unhealthy weight gain. The most DrRetro is willing to have is a spoonful out of politeness, Gnarpy would prefer to just eat the chicken that made the egg.

Fleshcousin eats whatever it's being shown how to eat. If you like your eggs scrambled, that's how it'll eat them, if you prefer hard boiled so does it, if you're an egg connoisseur and love to make quiche and frittatas it will follow your example.

[lightkrets312]

i sincerely believe that anyone who says "oh you can't cook with a microwave, you should only be cooking with the stove / toaster oven, everything you make in a microwave is gross" has never bothered to actually learn how to use the microwave for cooking.

[sacredfixation]

[Headcanon] Loki refuses to call things by thier proper names, and It drives Mobius Insane

Loki knows what things are called. He just deliberately refuses to say them correctly.

Jet skis? “Your primitive sea chariots.”

TV remotes? “The feeble sorcerer’s wand.”

Microwaves? “A box of searing radiation.”

Seatbelts? “Shackles of oppression.”

Mobius corrects him every single time.

Mobius: Loki, just call it a jet ski.

Loki: I did.

Mobius: No, you didn’t.

Mobius has aged ten years from this alone.

[daily-momokarun]

DAY EIGHT ✩‧₊˚

"idk just be like.. he's such a nerd and she has a huuuuuge crush on him" (caption transcribed from mod k by mod h, 2025)

[crystallizsch]

it’s the 25th for me so merry christmas (or happy holidays)!! ✨✨✨