#this post is mostly about that one specific character from that one disney channel movie

[yourplaceinaugust]

dude literally every character that regularly gets called the emo character (even if they dont fit the label perfectly) is literally trans. all of them

[asexualone]

(pls take the time to read)

Signs I should have known I was aro: Disney edition

I think this topic has been stressed a lot already. But here is my take, anyway.

Of course, romantic love had been, is and will always be one of the main themes in kids' movies. Why, I can never fully understand. I'll explain below how I like other themes more.

Some time ago, I did a post on the kiss/hug scenes in Rapunzel which depicts how much more I value acts of showing love that don't include kissing.

Not only those two. I have a history of hating Disney on-screen smooches. As a kid, I thought, "Well, maybe, I don't like seeing these characters kiss because it's a grownup thing."

Could you blame me? When my parents were in the room and a kissing scene appeared on the screen, they changed the channel. So my toddler brain concluded that the reason I didn't like watching kisses was because I wasn't of age to like it. Or something.

At the time, I had no idea that I was hand-picking my favorite movies by the level of romance they had in. Or lack thereof. And I was a very judgemental kid. Let's go through my original thoughts on some Disney classics.

Snow White — No. Just no. She's a child, fourteen. Marrying an older guy she doesn't even know. After he kisses her corpse. NO.

Cinderella — The age difference is a little better, I guess. So is the age of consent. But they only talked one (1) night and he relied on that slipper to find her instead of asking to meet all women and see for himself. Fairytale logic I guess. I didn't like how she called it love immediately and kissed the prince at least once that same night. Or how they got married immediately.

The Sleeping Beauty — Must I even explain? Aurora didn't even know Philip that much, had only met him once (if you exclude the "dreams"). And yet, he's her true love, the only one who can revive her corpse. Ridiculous. And yes, kissing a comatose body, ew. Also, the arranged marriage trope pisses me off, royalty or not. Aurora was engaged as a newborn baby, come on.

Mulan — Cinematic gold. I didn't know it back then, but the fact that romantic love is such a pushed-aside aspect in this movie gives me life. The songs give me life. Especially when the trio dresses as concubines and "Be a Man" plays in the background. An absolute gem, lmao. The sequel however ruined the story somewhat for me, too much lovey-dovey stuff. I like Mulan more when she's fighting than when she's acting all sappy towards Shang, sorry not sorry.

Peter Pan — Loved it, still do. But I did dislike the mermaids, the image of fangirls who are petty towards other girls. And Pan's brief "relationship" with Tiger Lily was nauseating to me. I couldn't explain it but when Pan blushed at her nose-nuzzling thing, I always pulled a face.

The Princess and the Frog — In my opinion, (remember, always my opinion): Tiana, this hard-working girl who doesn't belong to anyone, was lost to love. Well, not lost. But falling for Naveen in the course of three days? Unrealistic and kinda unnecessary. Sweet, but still. I adored the "relationship" between Ray and Evangeline more. Either way, it's a movie that I enjoyed when love wasn't that prominent on screen.

Aladdin — I love this movie because of the Genie. The relationship between Jasmine and Aladdin is meh. She forgot his face and didn't recognize him until later. Their coming together is a lot like that trope "first guy who treats her right sets the expectations and wins her heart". Usually that's a thing, not only in Disney movies but media in general. The female lead settles for the first guy that treats her right because the bar is that low. A good movie, all in all. Love how Jasmine stands up for herself at least. Not a lot of princesses fight against the objectification of women.

Pocahontas — I used to hate this movie. I didn't sit right with me: the racism in it, the manipulation, the murders. And the romance, yes. Pocahontas fell for the strange man who tickled her curiosity in the span of two days. I also hated how her father just sold her to marry Kocoum like that. I know it's tradition. Heck, that's a tradition that still goes on in my country. Maybe that's why I didn't like seeing it on screen. And Pocahontas doesn't even end up with John Smith. The second movie definitely ruined the story. So yes, she's the first princess who fell for a man in three days, TWICE. Needless to say, only the songs kept me from blacklisting the movie entirely.

The Little Mermaid — I actually loved this movie for some reason. I can't explain why, maybe it was my obsession with mermaids. Yeah, that was probably it. But I was pissed when Ariel exchanged her tail for legs. Not to mention human periods and overall, all the bad in the world, for a man she'd only seen once. As I grew up I realized just how f*cked up that story was: Ariel giving her entire lifestyle, family and identity up for a guy she hadn't even spoken to. I don't know why I loved that movie, alright? Hell I still do a little. The sequel too. Say what you want.

Brave — (I know this is technically Pixar, shut up) Much like the paradox with Ariel, I didn't like this movie. I can't explain it. Maybe because Merida wasn't the typical Disney princess I had been used to seeing. Now though, I ADORE that story. No, it's not because Merida knows archery... Okay, yes maybe a little. I love the aro-arrow word play, alright? Anyway, the way Merida fights against being shipped to a husband like the "tradition" I aforementioned asks her to, has always had my heart, even when I didn't like the movie. The focus on the mother-daughter relationship is special, I love it. Stellar movie.

Tangled — One of my favorite Disney movies, my favorite princess. But her relationship with Eugene.... Well. Again, three days. That's all it takes to fall in love. Classic of Disney. Not only that, but Eugene is literally the first man person Raps has ever since, besides Gothel. The bar is nonexistent for her, she would have fallen for anyone. He lied to her and she still... Well, I won't stress that any longer. Their relationship in the end is sweet, one of the few cases where we are actually shown that they would risk their lives to save each other. Respect that. Mostly, I love her magical hair and Pascal. And the guys of Snuggly Duckling.

Moana — EPIC MOVIE. The story, the culture, the character growth, the plot twist, everything! Loved it at first sight, at second and forever. Even more when I became aware that there's no romance in it. I don't think I need to say more.

Frozen — My opinions on this movie have always been changing, accompanied by mixed feelings. So the relationship between sisters was cute, but Lilo and Stitch made that more realistic. Anna's relationship with Hans, ugh. I think that for a long time I used the fact that he was the antagonist to justify my absolute hate for the way Anna "fell" for him in one evening. Again, Anna sweetheart. This is the first man you've met. The bar is nonexistent for you too. God bless Elsa for forbidding her to marry Hans. And while it's cute to think Elsa as a lesbian, she has aromantic vibes. Sorry not sorry, but she's also a God by the end of Frozen 2. Gods are beyond attraction, I said what I said.

Raya and the Last Dragon — Loved it, still do. Say what you will about "dragon Elsa". Sisu is her own character, and I adore her. And yes, I love the lack of romance in the movie. Make no mistake, I shipped Raya and Namaari from the first moment they smiled at each other. I swear on my name that I paused the movie and screamed, GAYYYY, at the top of my lungs. Luckily, I was home alone. If only Disney directors would do the right fcking thing and give me a queer main couple!! I swear I wouldn't mind the lovey-dovey romance one bit.

Of course, I've left dozens of movies out. This post is already way longer than I wanted it to be. But I think that was enough to make a point.

While I'm not romance-repulsed, seeing animated kisses (and unnecessary relationships) on screen makes me uncomfortable. As a child and as a grownup. It just doesn't sit right with me. Not to mention all these princesses who identify with their princes and specifically their relationships with said princes when they're perfect on their. Wreck it Ralph 2 made them a favor, I think, by making them work together and showing their strengths. Another movie I love.

Friendship just makes an overall better theme to apply to kids shows, my opinion. Family, work, self-discovery, mental health, happiness. These are all better themes to portray in media dedicated for children. Which is, again, my opinion.

And yes, Disney has been getting better. They've fixed the age difference and the age of consent. The female characters no longer depend on the male ones, at least not as often. They understand the assignment, alright. There are still many questionable things about Disney's reputation though, things we all choose to overlook for the sake of the good movies. But who knows? They might change. Hopefully soon we'll also have an obviously queer couple in a movie. Hope dies last.

[palmett-hoes]

wrote this at first to be a reply to this post by @annawrites but it got super long so i figured it would be better just to make it a standalone post

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it’s a great post about how neil probably has a perfectly functional knowledge of popular culture and how continuously representing him as totally ignorant of it isn’t a fair read of his character or circumstances. neil has incredible street smarts and that involves knowing how to blend in and disappear in a crowd. his knowledge of popular culture is probably eclectic and not very american, so he may not know all the pop culture touchstones that his teammates know, but he definitely knows stuff

meanwhile there are several foxes it would actually make much more sense to have extremely limited or just similarly patchy knowledge of mainstream pop culture

(i’m using “mainstream pop culture” here to refer to a combination of movies, tv shows, celebrities, video games, entertainment and communication technology, music, fashion, pastimes, books, etc. each one has it’s own specific considerations but all together if it was new and popular and timely, it’s pop culture)

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kevin, for one, i think definitely knows like, next to nothing, and i honestly think it’s weird that people decided neil was the “knows nothing about pop culture guy” rather than kevin. i mean, kevin was raised since childhood in an extremely insular and one-track-minded underground cult. he was literally raised under a rock! you think the ravens were taking the time to watch saturday morning cartoons and disney movies? absolutely not. like i truly do not believe that kevin has ever consumed media in his life. he does not know songs, movies, celebrities, video games, tv shows, nothing. and he also has absolutely no idea that he doesn’t know about these things. neil has a working knowledge of most things even if it has plenty of holes but he knows what the holes are. kevin genuinely does not know that the movie Titanic exists

(also i’m ragging a bit here but this is a genuine analysis and a fascinating way to view kevin’s character and i wish people took more time to think through and flesh out his influences and the effect they had on him)

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nicky. son of a conservative christian pastor? his access to media was likely heavily censored to remove “sinful” and “ungodly” influences. the media he consumed probably had a heavy christian focus and there were probably tons of mainstream popular things he wasn’t allowed to even look at, like especially things that were maybe a little risqué or sexual, which a lot of 90s and 2000s pop culture was considered to be. i also wouldn’t be surprised if he went to a private christian school that would still keep his chances to access other influences limited even away from his parents’ immediate view. nicky grew up on christian rock and veggie tales. he was forbidden from going trick-or-treating because it was “satanic.” that vein. watch the movie Saved! (2004) to get a sense of what i’m picturing. obviously once he got away to germany he got the chance to branch out and experience a lot of things, but doing things as an adult is very different growing up with them as a child. i also think this feeds into like,, nicky’s enthusiasm and why he tries so hard to get everyone involved in things and get neil to hang out with him so much and it’s not because he pities neil for not knowing these things but rather that he himself is still enthralled by their novelty

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dan. but also renee, seth, andrew, and possibly aaron to varying lesser extents. these foxes all grew up poor, and access to pop culture is heavily tied to having money, especially in the technology boom of the 90s and 2000s that the foxes came of age in. it’s common for kids from low-income families to be “behind” on popular culture because engaging with it costs money

dan and seth we know grew up in poverty. yes people need entertainment but money considerations have to take priority so what they had access to was probably very touch and go. it’s hard to pin down anything for sure because it just comes down to what their guardians prioritized, but i can say that i doubt they had cable (and it’s possible they didn’t have tv) so their tv influences would be public broadcast rather than like,, disney channel and nickelodeon. dan especially, as someone from the rural poor in north dakota is the one most likely to be out of the loop of mainstream pop culture imo

.

renee’s mother is implied to have also been involved with renee’s gang which makes it really hard to pin things down. gangs and other forms of organized crime tend to have a profit motive but because it’s mostly off the books it’s just,,, different. they may had some money but it’s,,, complicated, and she was still living in an impoverished neighborhood. i really can’t make any guesses about it because i just don’t have any context for it, but i think it’s fair to say her media influences wouldn’t have been entirely mainstream pop culture. then of course she spends a year in juvy and two years in the foster care system, which definitely has very limited access to pop culture

.

andrew being in the foster care system means that his influences were constantly changing. he could have been in houses from a wide range of economic means, but regardless he probably wasn’t treated well or given gifts or access to new toys or anything that requires an additional fee or tool to access. stories from kids who lived in foster care often reveal that even very wealthy houses enforce extreme limitations on their foster kids. the idea that andrew had a foster sibling with a gameboy, an xbox and a tv in their room while andrew himself didn’t even have a bed,,, isn’t outside the realm of possibility. so, probably no video games or internet. limited choice in what movies or tv shows he could watch. social services are wildly underfunded so what he had access to in group homes and “at-risk youth groups” was probably pretty dated

.

we don’t know much about tilda, especially things like her job, but we know aaron grew up in san jose which is one of the most expensive cities/housing markets in the world. this means that they were probably either rich or very poor. personally, i think they were probably poor, which means aaron would have been subject to the same sorts of things as dan or seth in terms of spotty or inconsistent access to a lot of things in popular culture

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so yea, ig just remember that each fox comes from different and complicated circumstances, that upper-middle-class pop culture experiences are not universal, and it’s weird to think that neil has absolutely no concept of pop culture at all while every other fox is apparently highly in tune with it and all have the same up-to-date experiences

[yukinon-writes]

I posted 7,511 times in 2021

55 posts created (1%)

7456 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 135.6 posts.

I added 4,663 tags in 2021

#art - 1705 posts

#inukag - 888 posts

#inuyasha - 622 posts

#kagome - 514 posts

#queen - 187 posts

#pfft - 179 posts

#gifset - 153 posts

#cute - 150 posts

#manga cap - 148 posts

#moroha - 117 posts

Longest Tag: 122 characters

#i couldn't remember anybody else that said they were interested so i'm not going to tag people randomly this time so sorry

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Izayoi: Toga, come quick! Inuyasha said his first word!

Toga: *Comes running in*

Izayoi: Come on, say it again!

Baby Inu: K-Keh!

Toga: *Tears in his eyes, voice cracking* That’s my boy!

37 notes • Posted 2021-07-20 01:39:58 GMT

#4

I've put together a list of YouTube channels that make video essays that discuss books, movies, TV, and other popular art mediums along with a suggestion for a video to watch from each channel. These are resources that I have found to help improve my own story building and critique skills and thought others would be interested. The list includes fifteen (15) YouTube channels to check out that will at least entertain, but hopefully give you fuel for thought and help improve your own writing. Feel free to add channels that I may have missed! Enjoy!

Continued below the cut in no particular order

The Storyteller

His video series, Operation Black Steel that he rebranded as Free Huey, talks about Black representation in media mostly through discussions about The Boondocks, but he also goes into details of other shows, video games, and music.

Operation Black Steel: Representing Black Women

The Closer Look

Henry talks about movies, TV shows, and video games and gets into the finer details of what makes them work or fail.

How to Write Great Dialogue

Lessons from the Screenplay

Michael goes into more technical details of movies by examining the screen play for whichever movie he is covering in that particular video.

The Soul of Good Character Design

Now You See It

Now You See It is a media analysis channel that searches for meaning in unexpected places.

Physical Injuries in Film: Never a Flesh Wound

Lindsay Ellis

Sometimes she'll make videos specifically about what makes a movie good or bad and then the next will be about more pop culture type stuff.

That Time Disney Remade Beauty and the Beast

Nerdwriter1

This channel breaks down movies, songs, art, and pop culture. Do you want insight into Frida Kahlo, Ghost in the Shell, or how Trump speaks? He has a video on all three.

Van Gogh's Ugliest Masterpiece

Rowan Ellis

She looks at movies, TV, and pop culture through a LGBTQ+ lens.

Disney and The AIDS Crisis

Every Frame a Painting

This channel was ran by two guys, Taylor and Tony. I say "was" because they no longer update the channel. One is an Editor while the other is a Director, they give their insights into the form of popular films.

Satoshi Kon - Editing Space & Time

Ryan Hollinger

He has older videos that cover a bigger variety of genres and media, but he has settled into a niche of horror specifically with his newer videos.

Remember Why THE MUMMY Is A Masterpiece

Hello Future Me

This channel actually covers topics in a way that is more geared towards to writing in general, making it very book/fan fiction friendly.

The Complex Problems with Mental Illness in Fiction

CineFix

This channel a lot of videos. The ones I would recommend are the Top 10 BLANK of all time, What's the difference?, and Brilliant Moments series of videos. They have other ones, but they tend to be more entertainment based than informative based.

Howl's Moving Castle - What's the Difference?

Folding Ideas

This is the YouTube channel where [Folding Ideas] talks about narrative theory: the mechanisms of storytelling. This encompasses the wider communications theories about the way that we process information, the techniques of how those messages are delivered, and the conglomerate application of all of the above.

Video Games as Art

Super Eyepatch Wolf

"I videos about things I like." That is all he has in for the description of his channel, but hell if he hasn't made some entertaining videos that gave me insight into some things I never had an interest in (wrestling) and introduced me to some other things I've really enjoyed (Junji Ito).

How Media Scares Us: The Work of Junji Ito

Filmento

Not my favorite channel because he can get carried away with the editing and effects in his videos, he still has good critiques of blockbuster movies and changes that could be made to improve them.

How To Build The Perfect Villain

Sneezy Reviews

I just learned about this channel yesterday. She doesn't have a lot of videos, but I like her take on Beauty and the Beast and decided to add it because of that.

Romantic Chemistry in the Remake of Beauty and the Beast

@shinidamachu tagging you like I promised!

44 notes • Posted 2021-09-12 21:48:15 GMT

#3

@shinidamachu I did it. I finished ATLA! I can now say with confidence that Zutara totally should have happened. They just have better chemistry together on top of all the other parallels between them. Beyond that, I like the show, but, IMO, the writing is decent, not great, with moments of either amazing or bad mixed in. However, I can see why it is popular, with the amazing world and characters they built.

47 notes • Posted 2021-09-18 14:40:31 GMT

#2

First of all, I want to thank everybody that reached out to me, commented, re-blogged, and liked my post yesterday! I truly feel welcomed and loved!

Second, look at that picture! I mentioned the idea of Rin x Shiori (ShioRin) and it got more attention than I honestly expected! And then @kirrtash posted the above picture, which I was just blown away by! Look at how happy they look! Amazing work! But this leads to my final point.

Third and final thing, I couldn't get the image out of my head and before I knew it I came up with a one shot that I worked like crazy last night and this morning to get it out as fast as I could! So, now live on AO3,

So, go check out the fluffy goodness and a big thank you to @shinidamachu for being my Beta!

Additional tags below the cut.

@ruddcatha @clearwillow @superpixie42 @fawn-eyed-girl

66 notes • Posted 2021-08-01 20:15:39 GMT

#1

* Takes a deep breath and exhales *

Hello to the Inuyasha fandom! Some of you may have seen me re-blogging, liking, commenting, and, with a few people anyways, interacted with! Well, I’ve finally gotten up the courage to make an official “hello” post. This is something I’ve been meaning to do for a bit now, but for one reason or another usually anxiety I haven’t. Until today, of course! I’m gonna put some additional info about me below the cut to help keep this small, but feel free to message me or send me asks if you want to get to know me better/interact with me. Or just ignore me. I won’t be offended. I just want to try and make some friends and get help/encouragement for my writing. Again, hello! And until next time, I hope you all are well!

Some personal details:

I’m 32 and got into Inuyasha when it was first airing on Adult Swim. I didn’t really get into the fandom then, though. I had some friends that also enjoyed it as well, but that was about it. Inuyasha quickly found a place in my heart, but after a few years I some what moved on. A couple months ago, I finally decided to check out HnY when I saw it on Crunchyroll. It was something like two or three episodes away from finishing the season at the time. After bingeing that, I went back and started re-watching Inuyasha, somehow started reading fanfiction, and now I’m here!

My writing:

I’ve always been one to come up with ideas and work them out in my head. But usually I’d struggle with pushing myself to write them down and just let them bounce around until I moved on with another idea/forgot them. I finally decided that I’m gonna push myself to work through what has been holding me back and share my ideas with others! It has been slow so far, but I’m still going.

As for what you can expect from my writing itself, I have a variety of ideas that fall into humor/comedy, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, and even some dark stuff. They could be entirely one of those or a mix of the categories. I think it’ll be mostly fluff and/or angsty stuff, but we’ll just have to wait and see how my writing evolves and what I end up being most motivated to write.

Some Inuyasha specifics of mine:

InuKag is my OTP. I probably won’t ever split them up, ever

I just want InuKag to be happy dammit!

I’ve never really been a fan of Sesshomaru, but I’ve come to respect him

I just want Inuyasha and Koga to be friends dammit!

I’ve never hated Kikyo, but I’ve come around on her and like her now

I’ve recently come to the realization that I think I ship KogKik

I also ship MirSan(duh), KaguKik, and RinShiori

Parting words:

I’ve never really been one for social media so this is kinda? new for me, but I’m trying to push myself out of my shell and make some friends. So, like I said, if anybody wants to get to know me more, just message me or send an ask. I’m not one to get offended easily, so feel free to ask me whatever is on your mind. If I don’t feel comfortable answering then I’ll just say as much. I just ask that you be respectful and I’ll do my best to do the same in return. Until next time, be well!

Pokes at people:

@shinidamachu @anisaanisa @witchygirl99 @ruddcatha @kstewdeux @sacred-arrow @lavendertwilight89 @fawn-eyed-girl @akitokihojo @knittingknots @nartista @keichanz @neutronstarchild @writemydaydreams

69 notes • Posted 2021-07-31 17:40:48 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[iridescentides]

hi again dia! happy first day of december ❤️💚 i wanted to ask you what, in your opinion, are the 5 most underrated dcoms? i remember you saying before that you've watched all of them so i'd love to hear your opinions 😊 - 🎅🎁🎄

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH secret santa you are so good! asking me all the best questions 💜

okay so i literally had to make a list of all the dcoms i consider underrated and then narrow down a top 5. theres lots of dcoms that i love, but that i think got the right amount of attention and care (like lemonade mouth and the teen beach movies, for example), so this list just focuses on ones that deserved more hype for their quality level.

5. The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008)

okay so even as i type this i feel like a hypocrite. i have only watched this movie one time. BUT i can acknowledge that its one of the most criminally underrated dcoms ever, tons of people didnt watch it simply because raven wasnt in it. thats why i avoided it as a child, and i didnt get around to watching it until i did my big dcom binge in 2016. and it was so good. theres a really long post floating somewhere around tumblr full of specifics on why its actually the best cheetah girls movie (my favorite is the second one purely out of nostalgia), so to paraphrase some points from that post:

its a solid example of cultural appreciation, rather than appropriation, as the girls go and learn about bollywood and indian culture together

the indian characters arent treated like props or unimportant sides, they get their own agency and storylines that are important

the songs are good!!!

basically this movie was overlooked and slept on even though in terms of role modeling and social value, and just like the first two cheetah girls movies it was important and impactful.

4. Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011)

okay so as someone whos very neutral and occasionally negative-leaning towards the hsm franchise (mostly bc its overhyped and not really representative of all dcoms), i was pleasantly surprised by sharpays fabulous adventure. this is another one that i know lots of people skipped right over and dont hold with as much esteem as the main hsm franchise, and that doesnt sit right with me.

i do not agree with the “uwu sharpay was the real victim in hsm” arguments bc in their efforts to look galaxy brained the people who say that overlook the fact that she was a rich white woman who used her power and status to exercise control over opportunities that should have been fairly and freely available for all; they were not “making a mockery of her theater” in the first movie, they were literally just kids who wanted to try out a new school activity that everyone was supposed to be allowed to participate in; and despite allegedly learning her lesson and singing we’re all in this together with everyone at the end of the first movie, she literally showed no growth in the second movie as she fostered an openly hostile environment and favored troy so heavily that it literally cost him his friends, all as part of yet another jealous plan to take things away from people who already have less than her. she was NOT the victim in the main franchise, and she did not seem to exhibit any growth or introspection either.

and that!!! is why sharpays fabulous adventure was so important. in focusing on sharpay as the main character, they finally had to make her likeable. they did this by showing actual real growth and putting her outside of her sphere of influence and control. we saw true vulnerability from her, instead of the basic ass “mean girl is sad bc shes actually just super insecure” trope (cough cough radio rebel), and this opened us up to finally learn about and care about her character. throughout the movie we see her learn, from her love interests example, how to care for others and be considerate. she faces actual adversity and works through it, asking herself what she truly wants and what shes capable of. and in the end, when she finally has her big moment, we’re happy for her bc she worked hard to get there. she becomes a star through her own merit and determination, rather than through money and connections. this movie is not perfect by any means, but it is severely underrated for the amount of substance it adds to sharpays character.

3. The Swap (2016)

okay i know im gonna get shit for this but thats why its on this list!!! just like sharpays fabulous adventure, its not perfect and definitely misses the mark sometimes, but it deserves more attention and love for all the things it did get right!

the swap follows two kids who accidentally switch bodies because of their emotional attachment to their dead/absent parents’ phones. and while i normally HATE the tv/movie trope of a dead parent being the only thing that builds quick sympathy for a young character, they definitely expanded well enough to where we could root for these kids even without the tragedy aspect. we see them go through their daily struggles and get a feel for their motivations as characters pretty well. as a body switching movie, we expect it to be all goofy and wacky and lighthearted, but it moves beyond that in unexpected ways.

the reason the swap is on this list is for its surprisingly thoughtful commentary on gender roles. its by no means a feminist masterpiece, and its not going to radicalize kids who watch it, but it conveys a subtle, heartfelt message that deserves more appreciation. the characters struggle with the concept of gender in a very accurate way for their age, making off-base comments and feeling trapped by the weight of expectations they cant quite put their finger on. we watch them feel both at odds with and relieved by the gender roles they are expected and allowed to perform in each others bodies, and one of the most interesting parts of the movie to me is their interactions with the other kids around them. as a result of their feeling out of place in each others environments, the kids inadvertently change each others friendships for the better by introducing new communication styles and brave authenticity. 

the value of this movie is the subtle, but genuine way it shows the characters growing through being given the space to act in conflicting ways to their expected norms. ellie realizes that relationships dont have to be complex, confusing, and painful, and that its okay to not live up to appearances and images. jack learns that emotional expression is good, healthy, and especially essential to the grieving process. one of the most powerful scenes in the movie comes at the end where, after ellie confronts jacks dad in his body, jack returns as himself to a very heartfelt apology from his father for being too hard on him; the explicit message (”boys can cry”) is paired with an open expression of love and appreciation for his kids that he didnt feel comfortable displaying until his son set an example through honest communication. this is such an empowering scene and overall an empowering movie for kids who may feel stuck in their expected roles, as it sets a positive example for having the courage to break the restrictive societal mold. for its overall message of the importance of introspection and emotional intelligence, the swap is extremely underrated.

2. Freaky Friday (2018)

this is my favorite dcom, and probably my favorite movie at this point. ive always assigned a lot of personal value to this movie (and i love every freaky friday in general), for the message of selfless familial love and understanding. i know i can get carried away talking about this topic; i got an anon ask MONTHS ago asking me about the freaky friday movies and i wrote a super super long detailed response that i never posted bc i didnt quite finish talking about the 2018 movie. and thats bc on a personal level, i cant adequately convey all the love i have for this movie. so i will try to keep this short.

first lets state the obvious: the reason people dont like this movie is bc its not the lindsay lohan version. and i get that, to an extent, bc i also love the 2003 version and its one of my ultimate comfort movies, and grew up watching it and ive seen it a billion times. i even watched it a couple days ago. but the nostalgia goggles that people have on from the early 2000s severely clouds their judgement of the wonderful 2018 remake.

yes, the 2018 version is dorky, overly simplistic plot wise, a bit stiff at times, and super cheesy like any dcom. the writing isnt 100% all the time. the narrative takes a couple confusing turns. the song biology probably shouldnt have been included. i understand this. but at the heart of it all, this movies value is love. and its edge over all the other freaky friday movies is the songs.

on a personal level, the movie speaks heavily to me. i cried very early into my first viewing of the movie bc i got to see dara renee, a dark-skinned, non-skinny actress, playing the mean popular girl on disney channel. that has never happened before. growing up, i saw the sharpays and all the other super thin white women get to be the “popular” girls on tv, and ultimately they were taken down in the end for being mean, but that doesnt change the fact that they were given power and status in the first place for being conventionally beautiful. so, watching dara renee strut around confidently and sing about being the queen bee at this high school got to me immediately. and in general, the supporting cast members of color really mean a lot to me in this movie. we get to see adam, an asian male love interest for the main character. we have a second interracial relationship in the movie with katherines marriage to mike. ellies best friend karl is hispanic. and we see these characters have depth and plot significance, we see them show love, care, and passion for the things they value. the brown faces in this movie are comforting to me personally. additionally, the loving, blended family dynamic is important to me as someone in a close-knit, affectionate step-family.

but on a more general level, this movie is underrated for its skillful musical storytelling and the way it conveys all kinds of love and appreciation. in true freaky friday fashion, we watch ellie and katherine stumble and misstep in their attempts to act like each other. its goofy and fun. but through it all, the music always captures the characters’ intimate thoughts and feelings. the opening song gives us a meaningful view into ellie and katherines relationship and the fundamental misunderstandings that play a role in straining their connection. ellie sings about how she thinks her mom wants her to be perfect, and her katherine sings about all the wonderful traits she sees in her daughter and how she wants her to be more open and self assured. this is meaningful bc even as theyre mad at each other, the love comes through. the songs continue to bring on the emotional weight of the story, as ellie sings to her little brother about her feelings of hurt and abandonment in her fathers absence. the song “go” and its accompanying hunt scene always make me cry bc of the childlike wonder and sense of adventure that it brings. for the kids, its a coming of age, introspective song. for katherine who gets to participate in ellies body, its a reminder of youth and the rich, full life her daughter has ahead of her. she is overcome with excitement, both from getting to be a teenager again for a day, and from the realization that her daughter has a support network and passions that are all her own. today and ev’ry day, the second to last song, is the culmination of the lessons learned throughout the movie, a mother and daughters tearful commitment to each other to love, protect, and understand one another. the line “if today is every day, i will hold you and protect you, i wont let this thing affect you” gets to me every time. even when things are hard and dont go according to plan, they still agree, in this moment, to be there for each other. and thats what all freaky friday stories are ultimately about.

freaky friday 2018 is a beautiful, inclusive, subversive display of familial love, sacrifice, and selflessness, and it is underrated and overlooked because of its more popular predecessor.

1. Let It Shine (2012)

this is another one of my favorite dcoms and movies in the whole world. unlike the other movies on this list, it is not the viewers themselves that contribute to the underrated-ness of this movie. disney severely under-promoted and under-hyped this movie in comparison to its other big musical franchises, and i will give you five guesses as to why, but youll only need one!

let it shine is the most beautifully, unapologetically black dcom in the whole collection. (i would put jump in! at a notable second in this category, but that one wasnt underrated). this movie was clearly crafted with care and consideration. little black kids got to see an entire dcom cast that represented them. the vernacular used in the script is still tailored mostly to white-favoring audiences, but with some relevant slang thrown in there. in short, the writers got away with the most blackness they were allowed to inject into a disney channel project.

the story centers on rap music and its underground community in atlanta, georgia. it portrays misconceptions surrounding rap, using a church setting as a catalyst for a very real debate surrounding a generational, mutlicultural conflict. this was not a “safe” movie for disney, given its emphasis on religious clashes with contemporary values. it lightly touches on issues of image policing within the black community (cyrus’s father talking about how “our boys” are running around with sagging pants and “our girls” are straying away from god), which is a very real and pressing problem for black kids who feel the pressure (from all sides) of representing their whole race with their actions. its a fun, adorable story about being yourself and staying true to your art, but also a skillful representation of struggles unique to black and brown kids and children from religious backgrounds.

on top of crafting a fun, wholesome, thoughtful narrative and likeable protagonists, let it shine brought us what is in my opinion the BEST dcom soundtrack of all time. every single song is a bop. theyre fast, fun, and lyrically engaging. “me and you” is my favorite disney channel song of all time due to its narrative significance; i will never forget my first time watching the movie and seeing that big reveal unfold onstage, as a conversation and a plot summary all wrapped into a song. the amount of thought and care that went into the music of this movie should have been rewarded with a level of attention on par with that of other musical dcoms.

if disney channel had simply cared about let it shine more, it couldve spanned franchises and sold songs the way that other musical dcoms have drawn in success. i would have loved for a sequel that explored and fleshed out cyrus’s neighborhood a little bit more, and maybe dipped into that underground scene they caught a glimpse of. i wanted a follow up on the changed church community once cyrus’s father started supporting his sons vision. i want so much more for these characters and this world than disney gave them in just one movie.

for its bold, unabashed representation of blackness and religion, subtle, nuanced presentation of race-specific issues, strong, likeable characters, and complex, thoughtful songs, let it shine is the most underrated dcom.

and because i made a full list before i started writing this post, here are some honorable mentions:

going to the mat (2004)

gotta kick it up! (2002)

tru confessions (2002)

dont look under the bed (1999)

invisible sister (2015)

[elle-eedee]

dcom daddies: ranked

whats up sluts i’m here to give you the content you did NOT know you needed: a foolproof algorithmic ranking of a mild selection of disney channel dads!

beast (descendants)

hotness scale: extremely tall (over a foot taller than me! this is Very Important to the scale) and he seems to be a mere thread’s width away from Unhinged at all times, which i love. i also think it’s very sexy of him to still have such a monstrous way about himself (what with the roaring and the growling) 20something years post-curse.... makes me wonder very vividly if such energies carry to the b*droom........ *clears throat* 10/10

quality of character scale: it eternally amuses me that beast seems to learn almost Nothing over the course of this trilogy. he’s literally pro-isle the ENTIRE time jsjdndjdjd..... not great considering it puts him directly at odds with his son (and, like, with social progress) but he Does seem to act the way he does with the kingdom’s safety in mind! plus when he’s not accidentally supporting magical fascism he’s super dorky. i love his goofy dance moves 7.5/10

total score: 17.5/20...... with this score alone you can tell this system isnt rigged bc if i had it my way he’d be winning

hades (descendants)

hotness scale: i hate his party city clown wig but i’m a total sucker for guys in makeup (EVEN THOUGH A DECENT SHADE OF LIPSTICK WOULD HAVE BROUGHT HIS ENSEMBLE TOGETHER. WHY DID THEY PROPOSE IT ON THE CHARACTER DESIGN WALL IF THEY WERENT GONNA FOLLOW THROUGH!!!) and i think the fact that hes Very Sleepy and doesnt own a dog makes him my dream guy 9.5/10

quality of character scale: he literally sings a song about how cool he thinks it is that he’s a shitty dad............ but he DOES come through when his kid needs him, so that’s nice i guess. i would have liked to see more of him but i’ll settle for reading and writing intricate fan works that delve into a hypothetical personality for him that’s mainly conjecture 7.25/10

total score: 16.75/20 i wanna see him in some preppy auradon clothes

jafar (descendants)

hotness scale: i wish i had nicer things to say about this man. he just....... bears so little resemblance to the original jafar it makes me :( maybe if he was more gangly, or if he carried himself w the same potent gay energy that og jafar has? itd also help it he wasnt a racist caricature. 4.5/10

quality of character scale: again, very much a racist caricature. jafar doesnt steal!!! why would This be what he chose to do with himself! but he does seem to be, perhaps, the least bad of the core four’s parents, which counts for something i suppose. 3/10

total score: 7.5/20 sorry bud

dr facilier (descendants)

hotness scale: listen. it’s dr facilier. what am i supposed to do, NOT give him a perfect score on the sexy scale? 10/10

quality of character scale: he just loves his daughter and wants to make sure she’s getting what’s hers!!!!! his dynamic with celia makes me really happy they seem so fun! though i guess you could argue it sucks that he’d send his darling babey dohter to do errands for big mean scary hades considering that Everyone on the isle seems to quake at the sight of him. but im sure facilier only does that to ensure that celia can hold her own! 8/10

total score: 18/20 and it’d probably be higher if we’d seen more of him

mr smee (descendants)

hotness scale: not only does this man fuck, judging by the ages of his kids he fucked RECENTLY. get it baby live your truth 7/10

quality of character scale: he seems to be SO kind and sweet to his baby sons..... holding their little hands and such!!! and judging by how nervous the kids are i’d imagine it was primarily smee’s idea for them to go to auradon. extremely noble sacrifice for their benefit even though he’ll miss them 10/10!!!!!

total score: 17/20 i want to kiss his hand, if he’ll have me

zevon necrodopolous (zombies)

hotness scale: every time i look at this man i think of this post. he’s the perfect amount of frumpy for my tastes and his voice is so unique!!!!! i’d let his z-band malfunction so he could *** ** ***** * ******* **** 9/10

quality of character scale: really really cares about his kids and wants them to be safe!! he raises his voice once which im not a huge fan of but i suppose it was justified given the circumstances. also that shot of him goofing about with d*le in the end scene shows remarkable capacity for forgiveness after decades of trauma and discrimination! what a guy. 9/10

total score: 18/20 an absolute dilf!!!!!

dale (zombies)

hotness scale: looks like an uncrustable. 0/10

quality of character scale: a fucking cop. die bitch! 0/10

total score: 0/20 get in since you wanna act clown

coach jack bolton (high school musical)

hotness scale: honestly pretty young for my tastes. and i literally Always swipe left on athletes, so..... fine looking, but not for me. 5/10

quality of character scale: obviously he grows as the series progresses but i feel like jack is Always in the way of troy getting what he wants, which sucks. i like that he’s kinda goofy on his off hours with his family exactly as much as i Hate how much he yells when hes on the job. i do wish we lived in the timeline where he and miss darbus actually had that duet about their disagreements, though. 5/10

total score: 10/20 truly an Average dcom daddy

vance evans (high school musical)

hotness scale: due to personal reasons i will be having bad taste. however, this man’s fashion sense in IMPECCABLE. i mean, the colors??? the unbuttoned collar???? come on now. there is also the gratuitous use of the d-word to consider......................... anyways 7.5/10

quality of character scale: it’s hard to tell how much of his interest in furthering troy’s career is out of sincerity and how much of it is sharpay nudging him. but either way the result is a man who supports his daughter unconditionally! he could be nicer to ryan, though (plus he’s an evil capitalist) 6/10

total score: 13.5/20 i feel like he and fulton have had Relations

mr gifford (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: listen, i’m a simple guy. i see a basic-looking man pursuing age gap romance in the midst of a mid-life crisis, i support him unconditionally. also i am just Really vibing with that oversized denim shirt on him!!! there’s an egregious amount of arm hair poking out that just works. good for him! and this is a small moment but i’m very flustered over his natural Touchy Feely instinct after wen pokes out his eye... however: man has no eyebrows. 8.5/10

quality of character scale: i’m not a child of divorce so i don’t know how this stuff works, but i feel like he springs a lot of major decisions on wen? not ideal. on the other hand, we DO stan that he has sydney move in before they’re married. this is not a christian home!!!! 6/10

total score: 14.5/20 probably my favorite lemonade mouth dad, but mostly because he’s like the only one paid any attention by the narrative

mr banjaree (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: men really have beautifully sculpted noses and we just let them, huh. i’m definitely overusing the word Handsome in this list, but in this case? i’m justified. mr banjaree’s beard suits him SO well and his hair looks so soft...... and we love the implicit cleanliness of a man who wears socks in the house! 8/10

quality of character scale: i super SUPER dont agree with this man’s Smothering-Adjacent Methods (and also i know firsthand that strict parentage just drives kids to be more rebellious, lmao) but all things considered he really just wants the best for his family PLUS he’s willing to meet mo halfway at the end! :’) 6/10

total score: 14/20 the way i feel about him is the way i feel when i get crushes on pastors in that You Are Complicit In My Trauma But We’re Gonna Kiss About It way

mr delgado (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: OOOOH GLASSES! 5/10

quality of character scale: it’s sort of implied that the Wacko Energies of charlie’s family are mostly the fault of his mom so it’s cool of this man to distance himself from that. he is, of course, still complicit in Whatever The Hell Her Deal Is unless he is constantly fighting with her offscreen 6/10

total score: 11/20 would have loved to see more of him

mr yamada (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: another chapter in the saga of unbuttoned collars! doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to show off his strengths but i appreciate that he is not the thinnest dad in town 6.5/10

quality of character scale: WOW fuck this guy. very dismissive of stella’s aspirations!!!!! i don’t like that he feels the need to talk Over her to her mom when he’s asking about her vegetarianism. dude she is right there.... however it’s a lil touching when he holds her guitar up at the end, so... 4/10?

total score: 10.5/20 *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thi

bob duncan (good luck charlie: it’s christmas!)

hotness scale: in keeping this Specific to the feature-length xmas special, i will say that bob duncan is QUITE handsome! disappointed that he was wearing a shirt in the scene at the pool.... ill bet if this movie came out post-workout/makeover he’d have been shirtless >:/ i feel robbed... spare tummy, sir? spare tummy? additionally i love a man who rolls up his sleeves AND a man who stans kaiju movies!! also i love that he, quite literally, canonically fucks 8.5/10

quality of character scale: he’s about as charmingly incompetent as he is in the show, but the difference here is that he literally did not do a damn thing wrong! all he wanted to do was be civil with his inlaws and he frankly deserves MUCH better. its clear from his banter with the kids that he loves them very much (also i love how frequently he feels the need to jump/dive for things in this movie. silly slapstick icon) 8.75/10

total score: 17.25/20 this man’s mere presence oozes nostalgia

jerry russo (wizards of waverly place: the movie)

hotness scale: this man was MADE for me. the bottomless collection of hawaiian shirts....... the TWO tummy out scenes..........the fucked up evil thing his voice does when the kids try to steal the spellbook!!! he really has it all. also i love that he is truly just trying to have some beach intercourse 9/10

quality of character scale: i love that even when he doesn’t remember the kids he still maintains a little dadly rapport with them? the instincts...... it’s also incredibly good of him to relive his decision to give up his magic without hesitation once he realizes the severity of the situation :’0 10/10

total score: 19/20 i’ve never seen an episode of the show but im really about to start

neil morris (dadnapped)

hotness scale: handsome....... mr morris makes me feel simultaneously like a sapiosexual AND a morosexual because although he completed enough schooling to become a dentist, he also threw it away for a writing career like an absolute champ. also i find it unbelievably charming how Along For The Ride he is about the idea of being kidnapped. a man after my own heart 8.25/10

quality of character scale: this is a tricky one...... neil DOES show active concern for his daughter’s safety when push comes to shove, but he also has my least favorite type of redemption arc: “you THOUGHT i was neglecting you, but actually i was thinking about you the whole time and just never expressed it! we good?” so like. bleh. but he’s pretty mild mannered which i deeply appreciate in a man! 6.5/10

total score: 14.75/20 maybe talk to your daughter instead of writing a macgyver ripoff, dumbass

major joe mason (princess protection program)

hotness scale: prime dad bod, very believable for his line of work. also he has such a Gentle Way about himself when he’s around princesses....... i love all the hand holding when he’s escorting rosie. absolutely my type 8.75/10

quality of character scale: gosh.... where do i even BEGIN!!! his whole dynamic with carter is so ideal... i was apprehensive at first because his job would require him to be Absent a lot of the time, but upon reflection it’s clear that he’s raised carter well enough that he can totally trust her to be on her own, and also she’s only sad to see him go because she sincerely enjoys his company. everything about his profession is so noble and i love the way he can carry himself as casually or as politely as a given situation calls for. worst thing he does is say “i might have to stop calling you ‘pal’” because his daughter is wearing a pretty dress. i wish he was my dad but i’ll settle for him being my husband 9.75/10

total score: 18.5/20 i almost made a ppp self insert this morning specifically for Him

ted thompson (zapped)

hotness scale: athletes arent sexy!! this guy’s face screams The Only Websites I Know How To Use Are Facebook And Reddit and also he’s a dog person BUT he is sporting quite the tumbey if i do say so myself and for that i shall let him live. 4/10

quality of character scale: ok i know the whole point of this movie is Boys Bad but i hate men who are loud and i hate dads who get Weird about the inherent femininity of their daughters. when he calls zoey “sport” and then cringes like he’s made a mistake? dumb and unnecessary. HOWEVER all of his efforts to bond with zoey are really really sincere. like when he fixes her music box? that has NOTHING to do with the app he just Does It!!!! the movey mightve rubbed off on me a little too much but there are multiple ways to show love and just bc im not used to his way doesnt mean it has no worth! 6/10

total score: 10/20 mr thompson sir im sorry i doubted you at the start of the film

rob adams (radio rebel)

hotness scale: this man dresses 5-10 years younger than he looks and i respect that for him. but i was expecting him to be a bit more of a slimeball considering how tara talks about him in the opening scene... and you guys know how much i love slimeballs. regardless, pretty handsome! 6.5/10

quality of character scale: it’s nice that he goes to such a Public and Corporate effort to connect to his stepdaughter! even if it’s in a way that financially benefits him, it’s pretty clear that he cares about this family and wants to do right by them. nothing exceptional, though 7/10

total score: 13.5/20 i GUESS i’d be down to smash if he asked

ralph bartlett (read it and weep)

hotness scale: ok i was gonna say something mean about the fact that he’s balding but honestly he has really nice arms........ in addition he’s really quirky and optimistic which i am going to admire into my grave!! when he gets excited about having customers during the finale his voice quirks with an almost charlie day-esque charm. handsome. ALSO he calls jamie “princess” which is!!!!!!! something 7.5/10

quality of character scale: the way ralph parents his kids is Very 2000s in that he kinda babies his daughter but gets to pal around with his son, but i guess both dynamics come from a place of love and he could be doing much worse. plus he’s an honest hardworking small business owner! i support him 7/10

total score: 14.5/20 i would definitely go out for pizza with him

dr james hartley (how to build a better boy)

hotness scale: THIS. THIS IS WHAT DCOM DADDIES ARE ALL ABOUT. gosh..... this is truly the Most dad ive ever seen in my life. i love how his hair is always mussed..... how he’s so Desperate to relax that he falls asleep after Fifteen Seconds of smooth jazz..... and also. like. hes a scientist?? hello??? pretty sexy of him. i want to give this man the relaxation he deserves 10/10

quality of character scale: ok so,,,...,, kinda fucked up that he lied to his whole family (with the possible exception of his wife—sidenote, WHY did they make dr hartley married? his wife never comes up except when bart says she’s out of town. let him be single so i can slide into those dms) and EXTRA kinda fucked up that he works for the government? what a scab. BUT it’s very very clear that he cares about his kids (and gabby) and prioritizes their safety above all else! also, did you SEE how happy he was when mae won homecoming queen....... he loves her so so so much! :’0 8.5/10

total score: 18.5/20 i thirst tweeted about this man and roger bart replied ‘Aw, thanks!’ so i dont know where to go from here

[fuzziekins]

I would like to ask you all of the pride questions from that one post.

Dammit Steve XD

Gender and pronouns?  Female and she/her are fine, as far as i know i’m cis. i don’t care if you call me dude, though. Dude can be anyone.

Romantic orientation? i use demi-whatromantic, with demiromantic as the microlabel. Most people know whatromantic as quoiromantic or quoi. i think what/quoi is typically known as a microlabel, but i relate to that more and feel it describes me more compared to demi which is why i focus more on that aspect.

Sexual orientation? In lamest terms? Asexual. In my terms? Stereotypical ace. In specific terms? S-x repulsed asexual.

Past labels you’ve used? i didn’t use anything before discovering asexuality because naive and oblivious, as far as i know. Before demi-whatromantic i briefly used demiromantic as a placeholder even though that didn’t totally feel right on its own.

How long have you been using your current labels? Asexual since late October 2017 and officially, or i guess out, since February 2018. Demi-whatromantic i think has been for maybe 6ish months now?

What made you pick your name? i had no say in my name lol. I haven’t changed it at all

What names have you gone by previously? Unless nicknames count for anything, just my regular boring name.

What names have you considered using? i’ve only ever considered using other names for me as a Pokemon trainer in the games which is obviously not the same. But, for the record, every time i start a game using the male trainer i’d use the name Larry.

Do you like your flag(s)? i don’t focus on the demiromantic flag as much, only because i feel less of the connection to compared to ace and what. The asexual flag has definitely given me a new appreciation for purple, but as a former art student i’ve been taught that black is typically the absence or color and white encompasses all the colors. so i do wish the ace flag had more colors just so i can stop referring to purple as the “only” color. i definitely appreciate and like the look of the whatromantic flag, but i don’t think as many people are aware of what it looks like or that it even exists. i especially love the shade of blue used in it.

Favorite flag(s) visually? Gonna be unoriginal and say the gay pride flag just because i love rainbows. 

Favorite colors? Blue has always been a favorite of mine, and i used to gravitate mostly towards lighter shades of purple but now i just include purple in general.

Favorite animals? Puppies, kitties, bunnies, hamsters, monkeys, ponies.... Actually, probably best just to say adorable fluffy animals.

Favorite things about being LGBT+? i like having an explanation for being me. i don’t look my age to begin with and i definitely don’t act like it. So people assuming there’s something wrong with me mentally because of it, or wanting to avoid me in general.... i know people have their feelings about stereotypes and a lot of times it is negative, but for me knowing that a stereotypical ace basically describes who i am, it feels reassuring. And i like knowing that i don’t have to act or think or do completely of what’s expected of me because in a heteronormative world, being LGBT+ completely flips that around. Even if to me, it doesn’t always feel like i have a place because i don’t know many queer people and i don’t get involved in things in general, somewhere in my mind i know that there’s a place for me.

Are you dysphoric? Not that i know of.

Are you religious? Nope. i don’t fast, i don’t keep kosher, i don’t go to temple, i never went to Hebrew school.... But it doesn’t make me any less connected to my religion and, as selfish as it sounds, i still wanna make a point of it and remind people, hey us Jews exist, too!

Are you questioning your identity? Some parts of it i do question sometimes, mostly in terms of aesthetic attraction. But i fluctuate with including that attraction in my identity. And i do question how much, if at all it does or could play a part in my romantic attraction. 

Are you in a relationship? Haha, funny. Nope.

Are you out of the closet IRL? For the most part, yes. It’s primarily in terms of saying i’m asexual or just queer, but part of that depends who i’m talking to, if or when it comes up in conversation, and how comfortable i feel talking to people about it.

Is your family supportive? i honestly don’t know if my extended family knows, even though i do post pride related things on my Instagram which some of them do follow and i have posted about it there. But, as annoyed as my mom can get with my ace jokes or comments sometimes, she accepts me for who i am and supports me, and has, probably before even knowing the term asexual existed, had an assumption a typical relationship happening for me was slim. And i know without a doubt that if my dad was still around he would definitely be supportive of me and not cared what i identified as, what i looked like, who i liked or didn’t like, or anything like that. 

Favorite LGBT+ celebrity or historical figure? Neil Patrick Harris is definitely one of them, and i think another favorite is probably Demi Lovato.

Favorite LGBT+ couple IRL? Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka. i love NPH and the family that he and David have are just the most precious things ever! Plus the way they go all out for Halloween every year? HELL. YES.

Favorite LGBT+ canon character? First one that comes to mind is Asami from Legend of Korra. Because Asami. Another one is Cyrus Goodman from Andi Mack. i loved watching his journey on the show and also knowing that there are kids who were watching Disney Channel that could not only relate to and look up to him as a queer character but also as a queer Jewish character. Plus he was just the most precious character and i just wanted to hug him!

Favorite LGBT+ canon fictional couple? Korra and Asami from Legend of Korra; Stef and Lena from The Fosters; Kat and Adena from The Bold Type.

Some characters you headcanon as LGBT+? Elsa and Honeymaren from Frozen 2. Don’t get me started, i will NEVER shut up. I’m going down with that ship.

Some LGBT+ pairings you ship? i know i already said Kat and Adena from the Bold Type. As of the current season they are - spoiler - not together and have not been done the justice to them as characters or their relationship. I continue to ship them, i love the chemistry the actors always have between them and how believable it is for their characters, and i’m just anxiously waiting for the day when they can hopefully FINALLY get back together.

Any celebrity crushes? If by crushes you mean celebrities i admire, look up to, think are cute, and would probably watch almost any show or movie if they were in it? Zendaya. The same has also applied to Corbin Bleu.

Any fictional crushes? As long as the same rule applies to the previous question and also includes being obsessed yet completely in control of that obsession and that character is also a muse for creativity? Elsa.

A trope you dislike about your identity? Probably that it’s a phase or i just haven’t met the right person yet. It took me probably too long to know let alone even understand why i didn’t think so much of romance or relationships and why i was never looking for or really wanting an actual relationship. For the most part, that’s been my whole life so to say my whole life is just some kind of phase or imply that i’m living it wrong? Just. No.

A trope about your identity that applies to you? Maybe this falls more under the stereotypical asexual label, but that aces can be very childlike. i’ve always been a kid at heart, i never really acted like my age, and yeah i can be really naive or clueless about a lot of things. 

Something you wish people understood about your identity? Probably just that people understood it’s an actual identity. It’s not a choice, it’s not a phase. It’s not a label someone created just to be able to fit in somewhere or for sh-ts and giggles. It’s an actual, legitimate, real identity. 

Something you dislike about being LGBT+? I feel like i can’t fully comment on it because sometimes i don’t fully feel LGBT+. Not having more than a couple of friends who identify as queer, not actively getting involved in the community or really wanting to be around people in general...i can only say what i dislike based on what i’ve seen online. And what i don’t like is that the LGBT+ community is supposed to be that - a community. It’s supposed to be a place where we can all relate to each other somehow, support each other and rely on each other. It’s supposed to be a place where, regardless of what label or how many labels we use, if we’re not straight it’s our place. We belong. But people still find a way to want to kick people out or treat people badly just because they don’t understand or agree on the label. Or maybe they don’t like or understand why someone chose a certain label or doesn’t have one at all or just uses queer. People still find a way to exclude and ignore and that’s not fair at all.

If you’re not cis, do you want HRT and/or surgery?

If you’re not straight, who was your first same-gender crush? Are we still going by either of my crush definitions from earlier....?

Do you align with any gay subcategories? (Butch/femme, bear/twink, etc.) Not that i know of. I don’t think i even know a lot, or maybe any of the subcategories at all besides those mentioned.

Do you have any LGBT+ idols? Elton John is the one that comes to mind. Knowing the life he had, the addictions he struggled with and ultimately overcame, becoming an activist and philanthropist especially for HIV/AIDS, growing up on his music... He dealt with a lot and has gone through so much but he’s come out so much stronger and has not only had a successful career but has also tried to do his part to help others for a cause that he believes in. 

Do you own pride merch? Would you like to? A pride hat, 2 pride scarves, a few pride pins, an asexual lanyard.... i would definitely like to have a t-shirt with an ace pun at it at some point, though.

Do you have a type in partners? Probably water. Or were you talking about actual human partners and not Pokemon partners in the games?

Do you have a type in friends? i actually don’t think i chose any of my friends. As far as i can think of, all of the friends i do have came into my life kind of by accident or by chance and they’re the ones who have stuck around. i do think most of my friends though have senses of humors and are loyal, although the closest ones are definitely WAY more levelheaded than i am! XD

[eldritchsurveys]

737.

Animated character that was your gay awakening? >> This doesn’t apply to me.

Grilled cheese or PB&J? >> Grilled cheese, absolutely.

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? >> I don’t put things on for background. I prefer a silent background, and besides, my focus fragments immediately as soon as anything is going on in the background (visual or audio). I wish I was the type who focused better with background noise, since there’s so fucking much of it in the world in general... (Case in point, there’s a motorbike’s engine just droning on outside as I’m answering this question and I feel like screaming, I can’t take it I am at my LIMIT)

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? >> Either some local brew that I enjoy or whatever cocktail I’m in the mood for. I don’t have one specific thing that I always get, unless it’s at a certain place (like I’ll always order a Sazerac at Rez Lounge because I like the way they make them, or an absinthe fizz at Carolina Lowcountry Kitchen because they’re one of the few places that actually has one on the menu).

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? >> ---

Top three cuisines? >> Meh.

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? >> I don’t know, no one told me.

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? >> ---

Look up. What’s directly across from you? >> The, uh. Hmm. I don’t know what this piece of furniture is called, but it’s a metal thing where three-quarters of it is for clothes-hanging and the last quarter is shelves. I’d say like, a wardrobe or something, but those usually are wooden things with doors, innit? Whatever.

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? >> I used to have quite a bit of signed objects (clothes, books, CDs), but I saw no point in hanging on to them so eventually they all went the way of the landfill.

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? >> I mean, I don’t usually spend a rainy day any differently than any other day.

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? >> I like cream cheese bagels and I also like bagel sandwiches, so it all just depends.

Brunch or midnight snacks? >> ---

Fruity or herbal teas? >> Herbal, but I do like some fruity ones.

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? >> No. I refuse to be embarrassed about what I enjoy.

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? >> Their Eyes Were Watching God was the only one I recall even vaguely enjoying.

Do you match your socks? >> Sometimes. Sometimes I don’t, because it amuses me not to.

Have you ever been horseback riding? >> No.

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) >> I don’t know, man.

Have you ever been to jail? >> No.

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? >> I don’t really have any experience with those, but at Sparrow’s parents’ house they have the lazy susan in the corner cabinet and that’s pretty cool.

Puzzles? >> Yes?

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? >> *shrug*

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? >> Usually if I’m going to a bookstore it’s going to be one of those chaotic old local joints where there’s just books everywhere lmao so I can’t say there’s a specific section I go to. I just like to poke around old bookstores occasionally. But I’m starting to avoid chain bookstores and stuff now because they’re just. Bleh. Also I don’t really buy books anymore, I do a lot of borrowing (and I have a Scribd account).

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? >> ---

Where could someone find you in a museum? >> Depends on the museum. You wouldn’t find me at all in most kinds, but if it’s a science museum who knows where I’ll be. Anywhere at all, I guess.

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? >> Well, there’s the suit. There’s also that tradgoth vest that I got in New Orleans for the vampire ball, I don’t know where I’m going to get to wear that to next. But at least I have both of these things, because they’re expensive things that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to get any other time, and if I need to dress up for something at least I have options.

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? >> Uh, all of them are good.

How do you dress when you’re home alone? >> In lounge pants and tshirts or undershirts. Often with a hoodie, until the weather gets nice.

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? >> At my desk, or on the loveseat if I’m watching something on TV with Sparrow or whatever.

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie >> I’m not familiar with them.

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? >> The second one, or the third one if there’s nothing interesting for me to say / it speaks for itself.

Name a classic Vine >> I can’t think of one offhand, that’s Sparrow’s area of expertise.

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? >> Morningstar burgers, mostly.

How do you top your ice cream? >> I don’t. One time I had like, candied pecan pieces? in ice cream and that was damn good, but that’s not something I’m just going to have around the house, so.

Do you like Jello? >> Sure.

How are you at climbing trees? >> I’ve never climbed a tree, so I would say I am definitely no master at it ~

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Man: Far From Home Thoughts Part 2 a.k.a. Spider-Man Euro-Trip

I apologize for the delay in finishing up this series. Life got in the way so I’ve speeded through getting this series of posts wrapped up.

In this part I’m going to discuss the movie unto itself rather than as MCU Chapter 23. In essence it’s more about Peter’s character and world unto themselves rather than how they are furthering along the over all MCU narrative.

I plan on covering this more in an upcoming post but, Peter’s characterization, for all the inconsistencies there were when you took Civil War into account, was overall more consistent in Homecoming.

However when viewing Far From Home after Civil War, Homecoming, Infinity War, Endgame and then this there is distinctly something off about how Peter is played.

Peter seems much more...shallow in regards to his responsibilities as a hero.

His arc across the film essentially boils down to him just wanting a fun vacation with the hopes of wooing MJ (I’m too tired to write Michelle every time otherwise I’d not dignify her character with the nickname) but at the same time being presented with a crisis that demands he step up not just as a hero but into Iron Man’s shoes and gradually accepting that.

Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaall me crazy but....um...doesn’t that rather conflict with Peter’s attitude in Homecoming. I can understand the idea that he needs to now be more than just a friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man in a post-Endgame world and recoiling from such an abrupt burden foisted upon him. But...he seems reluctant to basically cut into his fun time and his chance to hook up with a girl (even though that chance is very remote).

Yeah, yeah, yeah, ‘he’s a teenager though’.

But ignoring that lazy handwave justification (being ‘a teenager’ isn’t carte blanche to write him however), the Peter Parker of Homecoming was eager to leap into bigger scale issues (even if he wasn’t ready for them) and in general forgo his personal gratification or personal needs for the greater good. Which is you know...what he does in the comics too; just mentioning that to save me repeating it later in the adaptation section. But you need not even look to the comics to tilt your head in confusion about this characterization, simply watch the previous films.

As for other elements of Peter’s characterization and in this film in general...well..the term ‘undercooked’ would about sum it up.

For starters his desire to date MJ is entirely out of nowhere. Could it have something to do with her becoming comparatively more likable and less mean spirited than in the last film, to the point where her snark and cynicism mostly disappears once she learns Peter is Spider-Man (we’ll get to that)? Maybe...or maybe it’s just lazy and contrived romance writing, but refer back to ‘Part 0’ for a neat video discussing that.

Much more egregious is what is in theory supposed to be the emotional core of the movie, Peter grieving Tony.

It’s underexplored to the point where it’s just there, referenced enough to pay lip service to the idea but ignored otherwise when inconvenient, which is to say the majority of the movie.

It’s so perplexing because the film dwells upon dealing with the aftermath of Tony’s death (fuck Steve I guess) and yet Peter himself doesn’t. There are a few moments where he looks sad, but there are only one or two scenes where his grief is on real display and they are respectively briefly at the start of the movie and in the third act

Overwhelming more attention is given over to Peter not wanting to step up to Tony’s shoes or date MJ than him actually being sad his father figure is dead. It’s like the film pays lip service to him being sad and grieving him whilst it’s more the film itself that’s sad for his loss. It doesn’t even try to imply that this grief is why Peter wants to be normal for awhile, that something you have to headcanon from the movie.

Now of course the film NEEDS to acknowledge Tony’s death because Tony was such a huge part of Homecoming which this is a sequel to. It wouldn’t be internally consistent for it to NOT bring that up.

However, putting aside how the film doesn’t have Peter address his realistic grief properly, there is a difference between addressing Tony’s death and building the entire plot of your film around him.

Because as already talked about, this movie is dependent upon Tony and his legacy. The villain is a dark reflection of Iron Man and his scheme revolves around trying to become his successor, whilst Peter is played as a foil to him because he is Tony’s successor but initially doesn’t want to be. Meanwhile memorials to Tony are shoved in our faces, literally from the start of the credits.

Much like Homecoming, but maybe worse, this robs Peter and his personal journey of sooooooooooooo much independence. T’Challa gets to be his own man in his own movie but Peter not only starts out in Tony’s shadow but grows to BECOME Tony’s shadow, though the movie will try to deny that.

This is even true of the villains. Vulture was a reflection of Tony who’s motivation was built around Tony. In this film Mysterio is much the same. In a vaccuum (or an Iron Man movie) this wouldn’t be that bad.

But because we’ve seen this before in the last movie and once again Mysterio isn’t a reflection of Peter himself. This Mysterio is robbed of his uniqueness and doesn’t work as a SPIDER-MAN villain beyond the fact that they are both heirs to Tony’s legacy. In other words Mysterio only works as a Spider-Man villain in so far as he is a reflection of Tony and so is Peter.

That’s just awful characterization as it means both characters are in truth reliant upon another character, who’s dead might I add. It’s not even an element of their characters either, it’s how these versions of them were constructed from the inside out. At least Vulture and Peter were both working class, that was something! Even the dynamic of the traitorous mentor is problematic because that again is a reflection of Peter and Tony’s relationship. Tony Stark is fundamentally critical to contextualizing everything about our protagonist and antagonist.

This is especially insulting since Marvel Studios has something of a reputation for building their movies around their central protagonists, to build them up as much as possible. First Avenger, Thor 2011, Iron Man 2008, all constructed around Steve, Thor and Tony, everything comes from their characters outwards creatively speaking. They are the centre of their worlds.

In the MCU Spider-Man movies Peter Parker is the centre of his world, but it’s a moon orbiting Planet Stark within the constellation MCU.

And it’s so on the nose too. Him being the next Iron Man was obvious enough with how many times that phrase was repeated in the movie but once Peter started playing with Tony’s toys, to build a suit for himself, with a holographic web shooter that looked like a holographic repulsor gauntlet, to the same soundtrack from Iron Man 2008  it was utterly obnoxious. They pay lip service to the idea that actually they aren’t doing that but it’s just obviously not true. It also comes complete with a rote and cliché line about Tony only giving his life because he knew Peter would pick up his mantle. Which is entirely false by the way he didn’t give his life for that at all.

Going back to Mysterio for a moment, there are many more issues with his role in the movie. An obvious one was his plan. Let’s ignore whether or not he could believably put his operation together less than a year after Endgame, his end goal doesn’t make sense.

He wants to join the Avengers and have access to Tony’s satellite network. Okay I guess that maybe makes sense but he’s faking his credibility as a hero to do it. Eventually the lie would obviously be exposed whenever a real world threat occurs.

Peter also grows to trust him waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too quickly being cavalier about Beck knowing his identity. In fact he’s unrealistically cavalier about that throughout the movie. He makes out with MJ on a London bridge, London being a city famous for how much CCTV there is. He doesn’t care that random SHIELD agents know his face or name and that’s to say nothing of chilling out in a bar unmasked but in costume with Mysterio surrounded by strangers. More attention was paid to Michelle knowing who he was than anyone else in this movie and yet we have to contrive a reason or him to wear the Noir costume for toy sales.

Speaking of that bar scene it’s maybe the worst scene of the film.

I have never in my life seen a more obvious and badly executed exposition dump in my life. You know how it’s totally cliché for the villain to tell the hero his master plan? Try the villain is telling his own henchmen his master plan even though they all already know it so it’s literally just there for the audience. And that Master plan comes complete with stock footage from Iron Man and Captain America movies and the whole room now knowing who Spider-Man is. It’s just so poorly executed.

Now to be fair, there were a few things that were good regarding Mysterio.

The most obvious is his costume and the fantastic action set pieces involving him, especially the one in Berlin. They could’ve done a lot more stuff like that though so it was a tad underwhelming

  is a little something to be said of the Peter/Beck dynamic. Holland and Gyllenhaal have truly great chemistry.

POSSIBLY that great chemistry could lead to some veeeeeeery young viewers actually being fooled by the reveal that Mysterio is the villain.

But I doubt it.

Even though there were some people who apparently hadn’t seen Frozen or any number of movies to deduce from the trailer who was the villain, if you were watching in context it was painfully obvious.

Further working against the movie was cultural osmosis.

On one level Mysterio is a fan favourite Spider-Man villain who’s made his way into a massive number of adaptations, even being the primary villain of some video games. He was a major villain in the iconic Spider-Man 2 video game and in Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions. He’s appeared in practically every single Spider-Man cartoon. People were talking about Bruce Campbell playing him back in the 2000s and very early 2010s.

On another level we live in a day and age where the internet and nerd culture is so prevalent that as soon as Mysterio was announced as a villain Joe Average on the street likely picked up just by the chatter around them that Mysterio was a villain, if they didn’t just google his name at some point.

So as a twist in the movie unto itself (remember I’m not looking at this as an adaptation) it simply didn’t work. It worked even less than the truly obnoxious ‘this is a movie about being young, and Spider-Man is young don’t ya know’ vibe running across the movie, kicking off with the crappy high school level youtube video tribute. More than this there were many times where the whole movie felt like a big budget Disney Channel original movie spinning out of a Disney channel sitcom. This was more evident in the funny yet also annoying Ned/Betty relationship and the just plain annoying teachers.

Then again that might just be the curse of the overly jokey MCU formula which is very much a formula now whenever Coogler or the Russos aren’t making the movies. I wouldn’t have minded if Spider-Man was making the jokes but he wasn’t it was just ‘funny antics’ happening around him. In that sense this felt more like one of the Ant-Man movies more than anything else, especially in so far as the comic relief supporting cast (Flash the mathlete being especially pathetic).

The cringe humour was even employed so that Marvel could have their cake and eat it regarding the resolution of the movie.

See early on in the movie Aunt May throws a banana at an unsuspecting Peter which allows us to set up his ‘Peter tingle’, i.e. the spider sense. It’s explained that he was caught unawares of that but is never the less able to dodge bullets.  This boils down to:

‘This power will only work when convenient to the plot so shut up.’

That’s simply pathetically lazy writing. It doesn’t even try to explain how or why the spider sense (I refuse to use the cringe gag name ‘Peter tingle’) is inconsistent. It just is, as is the use of it in the movie. It’s literally not mentioned again until the final act of the movie where, wouldn’t you know it, it winds up saving the day. We don’t even get a cool visual or sound effect to showcase it, we just know from dialogue he has this power and must be using it.

Finally let’s talk about the mid-credits scene.

To begin with it showcases just how much Feige clearly likes the JMS run, more specifically the half that was wrapped up in editorial mandates. Hence Spider-Man’s identity goes public. Now unto itself this could be used to make a compelling future movie...but not a good Spider-Man movie. Spider-Man becoming a global celebrity with no anonymity is arguably worse than him being a billionaire’s surrogate son or being a globe trotting agent.

The only real positive of the scene is the return of J.K. Simmons, the greatest casting choice of any modern superhero film probably. His return was welcome and delivered wonderfully. A cherry on top of an otherwise shitty cake.

Ultimately Far From Home was a fluff piece Marvel movie. Not a bad time killer but something only enjoyable if you turn your brain off.

P.S. Isn’t it great how the trailers lied to us by giving us whole scenes not in the final movie?

[join-the-club-weve-got-jackets]

Ok list your top 3 shows/fandoms and explain how you got into them

So I had to cheat because I couldn't narrow it down to just three. There are too many shows that I love where I don't necessarily interact in/know of a fandom online, but I still wanted to include them. Here are ten shows I came up with, in no particular order and with long, detailed explanations:

• The Originals: This one is being listed first both in terms of shows/fandoms. After OUAT, this is the fandom that I am most heavily invested in and interact with mutuals the most. Tbh though, I can't really remember how I got started on TO. I have very vague/faint memories of a night during my freshman year of college where someone I follow on here posted something about the show. I think it was involving Klaus and Hope and/or Klaus and Hayley, because I remember going into tags and seeing bits about the rocking chair scene and the fight scene in 3x02. It had interested me enough that night to go searching through pages and tags, but I didn't pursue anything further. I was probably still in my post-Twilight/over vampires stage, and I never had an interest in TVD at that time either, so I'm guessing that's why. But then something happened, I'm like 99.9% sure it was on Tumblr again, during the fall of my junior year. I remember it was around Thanksgiving, but nothing more specific than that. I do know though that Joseph Morgan/Klaus was the biggest factor in deciding to watch the show. For his hotness, his acting/talent, and just loving the character overall. The miracle child and unique father/daughter relationship storyline I'm guessing was another factor, as well as the other interesting, fucked-up family dynamics that could only be found with the Mikaelsons lol.

• ODAAT: Like other shows you will see on this extensive list, I first learned about this show through Tumblr. As someone who has studied the Spanish language and Hispanic/Latino culture for years, I really appreciate shows with good representation of these cultures. So when I saw how amazing ODAAT was in terms of positive Hispanic/Latinx representation, as well as for being funny, diverse, relatable, well-written, relevant, feminist, and female-led, I knew I had to watch it. Plus, it gives me more exposure to Spanish outside of work, which I use to improve my skills.

• This Is Us: I saw a lot of commercials and previews for the show before it came out. I thought it looked good and I that I had the connection between the characters/timelines figured out (which, for the record, I did), so I started watching it from the very beginning with my mom.

• The Bold Type: I watch a lot of shows and movies on the channel Freeform (mostly because they show a lot of Disney movies and used to have HP weekends) and I saw commercials for this show before it aired to. Like I said above, I love shows that are female-led/driven, feminist, well-written, diverse, funny, relatable, and actually cover important issues of today, so I was very interested in this one. I gave it a shot and I have loved it from the start.

• Jane the Virgin: My reasons for loving JTV are very similar to ODAAT and TBT, so I won't repeat that list again. I had heard of this show really early on and read about it online, but didn't start watching it then. During my senior year of college, I was living in an apartment with limited TV channels. One of those channels happened to be the CW. There was probably nothing better on TV one night, and since I was already familiar with the show and loved positive Hispanic/Latinx representation, I put it on. I believe it was around the time of the season 3 time jump. I really liked it so I would watch it from time to time during that time slot, but wasn't fully invested. Then one of my mutuals started watching it and was loving the show (esp Jafael and our boy Raf) so much that I finally made it a priority to watch this last spring.

• Friends: This is one of my oldest TV show fandoms. I was under ten years old while the show was actually on, so I didn't watch it back then. But the first episode I remember really watching was the one where everyone learns about Monica getting stung by a jellyfish and Chandler having to pee on her. That was on some band trip in high school. After that, it was probably just on TV at some point, maybe after a different show I watched, so I started watching it and kept watching it.

• That 70s Show: Another older one. My cousin Kyle put this show on when we were at our grandma and grandpa's house when we were kids. I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I know the episode was when Donna and Casey break up and then Donna and Kelso take off for California. Being a kid growing up in Wisconsin, the show stood out to me in that way and for being funny. So I probably just kept watching re-runs whenever I found it on TV. All except for season 8. We don't talk about season 8.

• The Good Place: I saw/heard a lot of good things about this show from people on Tumblr that made me want to watch it so I could know what they were talking about and could be a part of the amazingness too.

• Parks and Recreation: My cousin Heather introduced me to this show when she was visiting years ago. I didn't keep up with it right after that, but I probably saw it on TV at some point later, recognized it, and kept watching it.

• Grace and Frankie: When I was studying abroad and had some downtime, I was looking for shows on Netflix to watch that were light, funny, and short, and this one fit the bill. I loved the humor and the characters and could relate to them, even if some of them were three times my age. It's also a show I can enjoy with my mom.

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

ARACHNOPHOBIA Maintains Its Deadly Bite After 28 Years

Has there ever been a creature feature that has better preyed upon our phobias? Arachnophobia has persevered in maintaining the terror even after 28 years since its initial release in 1990.

    Starring Jeff Daniels (Looper), John Goodman (10 Cloverfield Lane), Julian Sands (Warlock) and Harley Jane Kozak (The House on Sorority Row), Arachnophobia is a spider-invasion horror film that enjoyed a major release due to its high production value. Thanks to Steven Spielberg’s involvement as executive producer; the film would collect a hefty gross of over $50 million against a modest budget.

On this day, July 18th in 1990, Arachnophobia was released in the United States which garnered not only financial success, but critical praise as well; Roger Ebert applauded the director’s use of the spiders by stating, “the spiders in “Arachnophobia” are wonderfully photogenic, partly because the director, Frank Marshall, is good at placing them in the foreground, shooting them in closeup and allowing their shadows to cast alarming images when the characters aren’t looking.”

    The film’s director, Frank Marshall (Congo), is co-founder of production company Amblin Entertainment (most notable for its logo featuring a silhouette of E.T. and Elliot on a bicycle) alongside his wife Kathleen Kennedy (current Lucas Films President) and longtime associate, Steven Spielberg. In conjunction with Amblin Entertainment, the film was also produced by Hollywood Pictures which is a division of the Walt Disney Company. Arachnophobia being his directorial debut, Marshall held a sizable weight on his shoulders in making a horror feature film that would appeal to a massive audience. In an interview with EW published in 1990 by Charles Fleming, Marshall states, “We wanted it to be scary, but not too terrifying.” He continues,

We didn’t want it to be a typical horror movie — The Spider That Ate Cleveland — so we used a lot of comedy. We tried to make it like a roller-coaster ride for the audience. It’s frightening, but in a fun way.

  The film begins in the South American jungle where a new breed of spider is discovered. A highly venomous creature with the ability to kill in mere seconds, the spider hitches a ride in its first victim’s coffin on its way to Canaima, California (the victim’s hometown). The venomous spider takes up residence in a farmhouse owned by Dr. Ross Jennings (played by Jeff Daniels) and his family, who themselves have recently moved to the small community as well.

Ironically, the film’s protagonist, Dr. Jennings, has a paralyzing fear of spiders. When his son runs to him for safety from a harmless domestic spider, Dr. Jennings replies, “Come on, let’s go find that spider. Let’s find your mom to take care of that spider.” He proceeds to call out to his wife, “Honey, we’re in the living room. We need you to kill a spider.” The harmless spider is placed in the family barn where it encounters its venomous romantic counterpart. Once breeding a limitless amount of killer spiders, the small town of Canaima becomes a killing ground.

    Marshall’s attempt in keeping the film’s horror/creepy elements from encroaching the overall plot was successfully executed by Arachnophobia’s talented cast and dialogue. The film’s offbeat dialogue was a means of breaking the tension every so often, allowing the audience to shake off the nervous tingles. For example, in an attempt to find the spider responsible for the deaths of the small town’s residents, Dr.  Jennings passingly tells Sheriff Lloyd Parsons (played by Stuart Pankin), “Perk up Lloyd. If we find the spider that did this, you can arrest him.”

Using his extensive film experience in balancing between the horror and comedic elements, Marshall understood the types of scenes he needed to deliver that would affect the audience in a specific way. In a short featurette for Arachnophobia, Marshall explains, “One of the things I learned in my second unit directing days was, the only way this was gonna be scary is to include the spiders in the same shot as the actors.” He continues, “And so, we’ve been designing the shots, so when you start on a person, you pan over, there’s a spider there, and the audience will know that these spiders are very, very close to all the actors.”

    Arachnophobia is not Frank Marshall’s first attempt in dealing with creepy crawlers of the hair-raising sort. Serving as executive producer for the original Indiana Jones trilogy throughout the 1908’s, the film’s feature scenes with hordes of rats and snakes. Yet Marshall explains to EW that spiders are an entirely different challenge, “What can you do? You can’t yell at spiders. You can’t fire them. All you can do is pray that they do what you want them to do.” He elaborates later in the interview, stating “A rodent you can train, but spiders just do what they want to do. It takes a lot of patience. You just have to keep shooting over and over again until they accidentally give you what you want.”

Aside from using real spiders for the film, it’s the special effects that also played an important role in delivering this spine-tingling feature. The film’s special effects team featured Michael Wick as ‘creature fabricator’, whose extensive resume includes The Mummy (1999) and David Cronenberg’s Naked Lunch (1991). Arachnophobia’s special effects team also featured Jamie Hyneman, mostly notable for co-hosting the successful Discovery Channel program titled MythBusters, who served as a ‘special effects technician’. Hyneman’s contribution to special effects in film also include Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) and The Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions (2003).

As mentioned earlier, Arachnophobia garnered financial and critical success with the help of successful marketing. Rather than presenting a terrifying horror film about spiders, the film was advertised as a “thrill-omedy” in order to appeal to the masses. This gave the film an opportunity to showcase its strengths to a wider audience. Thanks to the talents of the actors and their likeable characters, the ability to deliver the perfect balance of horror and comedy was at most times, near flawless. Arachnophobia’s terrifying storyline was able to disarm audiences by drawing the fear from Dr Ross Jennings’ own paralyzing phobia of spiders and relating it to our own fears. As the death scenes were setup with spiders hiding in shoes, around lamp switches and even in cereal boxes, these relatable situations become palpable with the realization that these common areas could harbor a deadly beast waiting to strike us.

Celebrate this memorable film with friends for a movie night. Arachnophobia’s ability to maintain its legacy and continue scaring audiences today its nothing short of incredible, even after 28 years. What is your favorite scene in Arachnophobia? Who is your favorite character? Let us know how you’ll be celebrating Arachnophobia’s 28th birthday!

Don’t forget to follow Nightmare on Film Street on Facebook and Twitter. For an insightful horror commentary, you can also subscribe to the NOFS Podcast. Stay ghoulish, friends!

  The post ARACHNOPHOBIA Maintains Its Deadly Bite After 28 Years appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street - Horror Movie Podcast, News and Reviews.

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[dovelikewar]

Top 6 Favorite Movies Of All Time

Hello friends! I am back this week with a new blog. This week I will be counting down my favorite movies of all time AKA movies that I’ve seen a million times and am still not sick of. I’ll talk a little bit about them and what makes them all so great. I shall start with number 6:

6. Disney Descendants 1&2  (2015 & 2017)

I feel like it should be obvious by now that I love Descendants with all my heart. For those who don’t know, the Descendants franchise focuses on the children of classic Disney characters. More specifically, the main characters are Mal, the daughter of Maleficent, Evie, the daughter of the Evil Queen, Jay, the son of Jafar, and Carlos, the son of Cruella De Vil. Both films center around the characters finding who they are as people outside of their parent’s shadows. They also happen to be musicals. Both of these films and the people in them mean a whole lot to me. Whenever I am not feeling well I can watch them or listen to the music from them and smile. The story line and the characters are so well written and complex, especially for a Disney movie. Although they are last on the list, that does not undermine how trash I am for this franchise. I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of either film or supporting Descendants as a franchise. 

5. The Karate Kid (1984)

From this point on, I feel like it should be pretty obvious what my favorite movie era is. The Karate Kid was a pretty big success after its release. So much so that it earned two sequels, an attempted reboot with a female protagonist, a 2010 remake, and even a short lived cartoon series. I love the two sequels, but the original is my favorite which is why it earns its place as my fifth favorite movie of all time. I was introduced to the movies when I was very young and fell in love with them. The original specifically caught my attention because of all of the jokes my dad connected with. I also personally connected a lot with Daniel’s character and how much he grew throughout the film. As I watched it many more times, the jokes caught on with me too. I’ve never gotten less excited to watch The Karate Kid trilogy, and I don’t imagine I ever will.

4. School Of Rock (2003)

This is the stand out 2000s film among my top 5. I was first shown scenes from this movie in my fifth grade music class. It was one of my teacher’s favorite movies at the time, and he thought we could benefit from seeing the musical scenes, but purposely kept us from seeing the rest of the movie because of the adult language. He also claimed that people told him that he looks like Jack Black (to be honest, I didn’t see it). I remember that music class to this day, because without it, I may have never found this masterpiece of a film, or at least not as early as I did. I asked my dad to get me the DVD by telling him that I had watched it in class which automatically made him believe that it was appropriate for me to be watching. Of course, I didn’t gain as big an appreciation for the humor until I was a bit older. Still though, the story and music has stuck with me this long to the point that I can still watch it and get the same joy that I did when I first watched it as a rebellious 10 year old. School of Rock has given me such an appreciation for rock music and the community surrounding it. It’s such an important film, that I feel like everyone should see at least once. 

3. The Goonies (1985)

Because do you really have a list of movies without at least one of them having something to do with Steven Spielberg? Of course not. This movie is about as “classic coming of age film” as it gets. I don’t have a complex backstory as to how I began loving this movie besides the fact that Corey Feldman is in it. It just kinda happened. It’s the kind of movie that gets slight chuckles mostly, but warms your heart nonetheless. I love this movie with all my heart. The Goonies is the one movie aside from The Nightmare Before Christmas that my family automatically associates with me. Any time it is on TV, they tell me or put it on if I’m in the room. I couldn’t ask for a better movie to be associated with. A true classic that deserves its spot in the film history books and in the third spot on this list.

2. Stand By Me (1986)

Another coming of age film with Corey Feldman that I love. Are you sensing the theme? I stumbled upon this movie while channel surfing and stopping when I saw Corey Feldman. I watched a bit of it and enjoyed it before I realized it was nearly halfway over and it wouldn’t make sense to watch it from that point. That’s why I asked my dad to get it for me, and he agreed. Funnily enough, Stand By Me has even more adult jokes than School Of Rock, and my dad was immediately yelled at by my step mom when she realized he had let me watch it. Still, I watched it and fell in love with it. It was my first and most impactful experience with Stephen King’s work. There are just so many iconic, humorous and beautiful lines in the movie that make it so easy to come back to. There are few characters in film that I love more than Gordie, Chris, Teddy, and Vern, and I suspect that that will always be the case.

Before I move on to my number 1, here are some honorable mentions:

-The Sandlot (1993) -The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) -The Outsiders (1983) -Little Shop Of Horrors (1986) -Titanic (1997)

And finally my number one favorite movie of all time is...

1. The Lost Boys (1987)

Yes, my all time favorite movie is the all around masterpiece of a film, The Lost Boys. It also had sequels, but unlike the Karate Kid sequels, we don’t talk about them. The Lost Boys was first introduced to me by my dad when I was 12. He told me it was one of his favorite movies growing up, so I was automatically speculating how could it could possibly be. Of course, 12 year old me automatically thought it would be lame. Little did I know that that day I would be introduced to a movie that would become my all time favorite (and Corey Feldman). It has remained as my number one favorite for all 8 of the years since then. I’ve seen it at least two hundred times in my life, and I’m still in love with it. At this point, I kind of just watch it to feel normal. I also bond over it a lot with my dad. The funny part is that as a more intense fan person than my dad, I know more about the movie than he does at this point. Still, whenever I am feeling reminiscent or feel like talking about vampires, my dad understands the love I have for this film. If I haven’t started hating this movie even after my 200th time watching it, I’d dare say I’m stuck with it. 

Welp, that is it for this post, friends. If you also like any of my favorite movies or if you want to tell me about some of your own, feel free! I love geeking out about movies. Thank you for reading if you did. Until next week. 🤗

- 🕊️ ❤️ 🏹  

[truffledmadness]

The Hunger For Brain Food

This post won’t win me fans, but fuck it.

I’ve noticed this thing here on tumblr, where there’s this tendency to spin these exquisitely crafted metas and backstories and subtext out of a few specific media outlets (Marvel, Disney, Game of Thrones, Star Wars, Harry Potter maybe a few others). And, like, there’s something really beautiful about that, you know? It’s extraordinary how people can take, say, Rey, a character I saw as pleasant if tropey, and work out these really lovely motivations and go back in the script and source materials and tie-ins and make her into a lot more than what I saw on the screen.

But there’s this very dark side to all this as well, which we’re all familiar with--fan wars, and “if you like this character you’re evil, and I present the evidence, half of which would go completely over the head of anyone who isn’t up to their neck in analysis of the material. Also, it’s wrong to enjoy a children’s movie on anything but the deepest level.”

But even more than that, there’s the side that’s just...weird. Because, well, imagine you see someone who cooks with Doritos. And they make the most extraordinary, beautiful things out of the Doritos. Based on little more than their own strength of will, they’ve turned the Doritos into a souffle. But they bemoan that the Doritos don’t have quite the egg-like consistency to make their ideal souffle. And they bemoan that, alas, they can’t find the right egg-like Doritos for their souffle. But when you suggest that, as cool as the Dorito Souffle is, maybe they’d be happier with, well, eggs, they are bewildered, or even hostile to the idea of using eggs. Tumblr media discourse sometimes feels a little like that.

Like, if you’re upset that the latest Disney animated musical doesn’t go into deep enough themes, and in fact seems to mostly be made to entertain children, amuse parents, and sell toys? Maybe you’d be happier watching a more serious film, aimed at an older demographic. Harry Potter and the Hunger Games striking you as excellent books, but just don’t scratch that itch? May I direct you to....like, all of literature?

This even seeps into things like Representation Discourse. Like, I’ve seen eleventy billion posts on the gender of some cartoon rocks from Steven Universe and I don’t even WATCH that show. Meanwhile, Billions has an openly nonbinary morally ambiguous supergenius just chilling there, and from Discourse Land, you’d think this never happened. The best gay couple to hit the stands in AGES was from Samurai Flamenco, but most of anime tumblr let that one just drift by, along with the exquisite themes about mental illness.

And it goes beyond what’s “popular”--The Night Circus is an international bestseller, gorgeous to boot, with plenty of Stuff Tumblr People Like, and yet suggesting it as something Tumblr People might like to read is met with crickets. And that’s not even getting into this site’s weird hostility towards literary fiction.

Maybe it’s a consequence of tumblr being so heavily tied into certain aspects of nerd culture (the ones that involve, well, selling toys, if I may be uncharitable as a woman who has a Rapunzel figurine on her desk), but there seems to be a genuine aversion to anything explicitly aimed at adults. And that wouldn’t even be a problem if there didn’t seem to be an obvious hunger for heavier fare that so often is channeled into hassling people who take their light fare lightly.

Well then. I suppose that’s all I have to say for now.

[junker-town]

Sports movies that would be more fun to emulate in real life than ‘Field of Dreams’

Photo by Charles Ommanney/The Washington Post via Getty Images

MLB wants to emulate ‘Field of Dreams’ next season, and that’s fine. But if we’re being honest, big league adaptations of these movies would be even cooler.

I’ve never seen Field of Dreams. It’s probably fine? From what I gather it’s sickly sweet with a lot of I Love You Dad-type stuff engineered to exploit our too-human hearts.

The effect is apparently pretty strong, because Field of Dreams is still revered 30 year after it was released. So much so that Major League Baseball will try to bring the movie to life by making the Yankees and White Sox play in an Iowa cornfield next season.

If you build it …@Yankees. @whitesox. THE Field of Dreams. August 13, 2020. pic.twitter.com/RuBpS04BgG

— Cut4 (@Cut4) August 8, 2019

Ignoring the fact MLB’s promotional image implies Aaron Judge, Gleyber Torres, Tim Anderson, and Yoan Moncada are ghosts walking out of the cornfield, and therefore will have shuffled off this mortal coil by the time the game is played, this could be fun! Baseball is a goofy sport that is enhanced when played in goofy places. Why not!

But it does get us thinking: What famous sports movies would be even more fun to replicate for a one-off event? Here are some of our ideas. Go ahead and tell us yours via your nearest comment section and/or Twitter account. Being realistic awards you no bonus points.

Eddie (1996)

Pretty sure everyone reading this has had this fantasy. Take a vocal fan out of the stands, let them coach the Knicks, and if they win the fan gets to keep the job until the Knicks lose again. There’s no risk to a cratering team. In fact, the changeup might help break the loop of hope and letdown (and hope and letdown) that the Knicks have been stuck in for 20 years. — Louis Bien

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)

I want this. I want this, like, yesterday. How have we gone 15 years without someone trying to take the world of professional dodgeball by storm with professional wrestling-esque characters, overwhelming production values and all the pageantry it entails?

The best part is that since this is a one-off event we can totally get Jason Bateman to do commentary and stick Chuck Norris courtside. I’m almost upset I’m sharing this information here, because I know some wealthy industrialist is going to steal this idea. — James Dator

Nacho Libre (2006)

First off, yes, wrestling is a real sport. The action might be slightly scripted but the moves are real. Imagine a random cook in a monastery becoming a luchador. It’s an underdog story for the ages. He even fights for a great cause: so the orphans in the church can eat better quality foods. It’s a heartwarming story filled with adventure and danger, mostly from the fear of having their bones broken from getting power-bombed. Picking a random person and making them a part-time luchador is an event worth watching. Especially if one of their first matches is an eight-person battle royale. Sign me up for the chaos. - Vijay Vemu

Teen Wolf (1985)

I just want to see people get eaten. — Christian D’Andrea

Air Bud (1997) or Treasure Buddies (2012)

The Air Bud archives, including its spinoff series Air Buddies and Santa Paws, is more voluminous than the Police Academy and Mission Impossible franchises put together. And you really couldn’t go wrong picking ANY of its 14 installments. SO MANY GOOD DOGS.

For the sake of brevity, I’ll narrow it down to two: OG basketball-playing Air Bud, which still holds up 22 years later, and which seems like the most logical choice if we’re talking about replicating it in real life. (Here’s one suggestion for the starring role.)

The other is Treasure Buddies, which I have never seen and technically isn’t a sports movie but gets the nod based on a Wikipedia description that belongs in a museum:

The Buddies find themselves on an Indiana Jones style adventure.

Yes, please. — Sarah Hardy

Over the Top (1987)

Don’t you want to win an arm wrestling championship? — Russ Oates

The Sandlot (1993)

The Sandlot — or more specifically Sandlot 2 (2005), where girls exist and play sports — is truly the only answer here. Since about age 7, all I wanted to experience was playing baseball at the sandlot, and that hasn’t changed as I’ve gotten older. Just make sure James Earl Jones is present. — Kennedi Landry

Brink! (1998)

Brink! is a Disney Channel original movie about extreme in-line skating and how capitalism exerts its influence on our passions. But the X-Games already exists, so we don’t need to bring skating to life, we just need ... more milkshakes to the face.

Pup ‘N Suds forever. — Michael Katz

Like Mike (2002)

I need to see a 4’ tall child dunking on NBA Players. — Tyson Whiting

Ed (1996)

In this film, Matt LeBlanc (who is basically channeling Joey, because what else is he going to do, he is Matt LeBlanc) winds up as an errand boy for a professional minor league baseball team. One of his errands has him cross paths with the titular Ed, a chimpanzee who, it turns out, is really, really good at playing baseball for unsaid reasons. Hijinks ensue. This film has everything — a fart-off, some light animal torture, a magical coin (?), and yes, a meta Friends reference — all of it terrible. In fact, we called it the worst sports movie ever made.

But am I going to sit here and pretend it wouldn’t be awesome to play minor league ball with a farting monkey? No, reader. I am not.

— Ryan Simmons

Slap Shot (1977)

Nobody wears a helmet. Fighting, while not exactly legal, is certainly encouraged. As is putting on the foil. Winning captain has to strip down to his jock strap. Don Cherry would spontaneously combust, leaving a technicolor apparition muttering about “Old Time Hockey” for all eternity. — Paul Flannery

White Men Can’t Jump (1992)

Blacktop basketball, Jeopardy!, and undefeated Wesley Snipes drip. This movie has everything anyone could ever want in a movie, and also two-on-two basketball should be an Olympic sport. — Michael Pina

Brewster’s Millions (1985)

Quasi-sports movie with Richard Pryor portraying a pitcher for the Hackensack Bulls and John Candy serving as his catcher. I’d happily work to spend $30 million in 30 days and have no assets to show for it to inherit $300 million. — David Fucillo

Space Jam (1996)

There is no better time to do this than the present. With talks of wanting to raid Area 51 and kick it with aliens, we can surely assemble a group of five extraterrestrials, have them take the talents of guys like Kevin Durant, Giannis Antetokounmpo, James Harden, Russell Westbrook, or other NBA stars, and do a live-action remake of the original Space Jam. Only difference is that LeBron James replaces Michael Jordan. — Harry Lyles Jr.

Luck of the Irish (2001)

This Disney Channel classic has a description as follows: “A teenager (Ryan Merriman) must battle for a gold charm to keep his family from being controlled by an evil leprechaun.”

Do I need to explain anything else? — Whitney Medworth

Blades of Glory (2007)

It’s really hard for me to comprehend why we haven’t seen an all-male figure skating pair since this movie came out more than 10 years ago, but hey, I’m not in the movie business. Not only was this a highly underrated Will Ferrell film in my humble opinion, the sports world deserves to see two men complete the Iron Lotus (successfully, I feel like I need to add) on live television, dammit.

— Morgan Moriarty

[losername-here-blog]

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[eldritchsurveys]

734.

Have you ever read the Hunger Games series? >> I have, finally! Read it during my trip to Texas in January. I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would; my quibbles are few. I want to see the movies but I also don’t want to see the movies -- what I want are... not those movies, pretty much. I’ll probably give the first one a shot at least, just so I know for sure exactly what I’m protesting against, lol.

When was the last time you ran into something? >> I don’t remember, I don’t do that often.

Do you enjoy dressing up? >> Yes, absolutely, mostly because I don’t get to do it often so it’s a novelty.

Do you live in the city or a rural area? >> I live in the outskirts of a city. So, kind of the suburbs, but not quite.

Would you say you have a sense of style? >> I mean, yeah.

What’s your biggest fear? >> Being terribly aware of my every dying moment and carrying that awareness into another life or something.

Have you ever been bitten by a wild animal? >> No.

Are you close to any of your cousins? >> No.

Have you ever been lost in the woods? >> No.

Where did you last travel? >> For any significant distance? Houston, Texas.

Do you enjoy driving? >> I don’t drive. I enjoy driving being a part of my mythic self, though (my mythic self is called the Driver, you see).

What song did you last listen to? >> Sunlight by Hozier. Which was, of course, written specifically to call me out.

If you have a job, how often do you work? >> ---

What time do you normally go to sleep at night? >> Anywhere between 10.30p and 1a.

Do you watch a lot of movies? >> I do.

Do you like Tom Petty? >> I don’t.

Would you rather have snow or rain? >> Rain. Absolutely rain.

Do you own a lot of sweaters? >> No. I’m not sure I own any at all, actually -- oh, wait, I own exactly one. It’s a Hot Topic Christmas sweater and it says “Sleigher: Reindeer Blood” on it. I love it and I would live in it if I could.

Have you ever tried rock-climbing? >> Nope. Except on that small rock wall in the Museum of Science & Industry (pretty sure that’s where it was).

Ever ridden in a police car? >> Yes.

Favorite decade of music? >> I don’t have a favourite decade. I prefer listening to music from as many decades as possible.

Have any of your best friends been your best friend longer than a year? >> ---

Ever witnessed a murder? >> No.

Do you care what people think of you? >> I care what some people think of me.

Does your room have a ceiling fan? >> Nope.

Would you consider yourself poised? >> Not particularly. I never put any effort into it.

Have you ever tried blogging? >> Of course, lol.

Favorite television channel? >> I don’t have cable.

Have you ever lied under oath? >> No.

What are your religious views? >> Nebulous and subject to whim.

Are you a romantic person? >> No.

When did you last change your bed sheets? >> About an hour ago, actually. And I showered afterwards, so now I’m a clean boy in a clean bed. Livin’ the dream.

Would you consider yourself a flirt? >> No.

At what age do you plan to be married? >> 32, apparently.

Do you eat a lot of junk food? >> No. I really just don’t like a lot of the foods that are widely considered “junk”.

When did you last go on vacation? >> I guess the trip to Texas was kind of a vacation? But otherwise I’d say my wedding/honeymoon in October.

Are you resilient? >> Yeah. Like, I know I am. It’s been proven that I am. The fact I feel so fragile and wounded so often isn’t a contradiction of that fact.

Have you ever failed a subject before? >> I don’t think so.

If so, what was the class? >> Like, I should have failed English III because I got a zero on the midterm and the final, but I think the teacher gave me a D out of pity or whatever.

Do you wear more bright or dull colors? >> I don’t really wear colours at all. It’s not even an effort anymore, it really just seems that all of the clothing I’m willing to wear comes in black...

Do you know anyone who has attempted suicide? >> Yes.

What’s your favorite quote? >> DAMMIT. I totally forgot about that quotes file I was going to keep on Evernote. I gotta work on that so I have answers for this question.

Would you consider yourself mature? >> I mean, I suppose I do okay. Being post-traumatic means I have some pretty child-like responses to things sometimes, but, you know. I’m doing my best.

How many clocks are in your house? >> There’s one on my wall, although there’s no battery in it because I can’t abide the noise. It’s just a decoration. (It’s one of those records that someone cut a design out of, it’s really cool.)

Do you play any sports? >> No.

What is your biggest life regret? >> ---

Have you ever been injured in a car accident? >> Nope.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? >> My mind went a lot of places with this question in 5 seconds flat, and I don’t even know how to unpack any of it. Half the shit I thought of didn’t even have anything to do with this lifetime.

Have you ever had highlights in your hair? >> No.

Favorite fast food restaurant? >> Meh.

In what country were you born? >> USA.

Are your eyes more than one color? >> Nope.

Have you ever caught something on fire? >> Accidentally? Yeah, a couple of times.

What would you consider your biggest flaw? >> I don’t know.

What do you think your best quality is? >> Curiosity and open-mindedness.

Do you enjoy listening to others’ problems? >> I’m not sure “enjoy” is the right word in this context, lol.

Do you keep any plants in your house? >> Yeah, Sparrow’s really into plants. I like them, but I tend to enjoy them more when they’re outdoors. Kind of like animals.

What is your mother’s occupation? >> ---

Do any of your friends like your musical style? >> At least some of it, I’m sure. I like way too much shit for me to have no music preferences in common with the average person.

What are you most looking forward to? >> That glorious day when I can just. Walk into a bar and have a drink and some lunch again.

What was your favorite television show as a child? >> I don’t think I had one.

Are you afraid of insects? >> Not as a rule.

Are you cold-natured? >> I don’t think so, but my 485745 defense mechanisms often make me appear so.

How old were you when you got your first pet? >> I was a toddler.

Did you / do you enjoy high school? >> I did not.

What would you say was your favorite age? >> ---

What annoys you most about social networking? >> The way it’s engineered.

Are you the center of attention most of the time? >> No.

What are you currently reading? >> Staring at the Sun: Overcoming The Terror of Death by Irvin D Yalom. It’s... not really giving me anything I can use, mostly because it doesn’t address the things I actually fear (like, no, I don’t fear not leaving behind a good legacy or whatever, I literally fear the awe-ful, terrible knowledge of my organs shutting down and shit like that, the helplessness of being pulled into the abyss. Literally. Not figuratively. This is a literal visceral thing I believe in. Also, I fear persecution by cosmic forces because I have internalised the idea that I am Bad and I will be Punished. Where is my book? I do like the title, though.), so I don’t know if I’m going to finish it. I might skim through it for a few decent nuggets like that one Nietzsche quote he used, “when we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago”. That was a good one.

When did you last go to the library? >> It’s been a while, since I usually just check out ebooks. Oh, wait, we went to the branch for a Black History Month event, so, February.

Are you ill at the moment? >> No.

Do people tease you about anything? >> I mean, Sparrow does. And some tumblr mutuals tease me about various aspects of my Brand, hah.

How late did you stay up last night and why? >> I think I dropped off at around midnight, idk. Because that’s just how it happened.

Have you ever written poetry? >> Sure.

Curtains or shades? >> I’m not sure what the difference is.

How many people have you spoken to in the last hour? >> One.

Do you tend to text a lot? >> No.

Ever lost a great best friend? >> ---

What is your favorite kind of flower? >> Sunflowers.

Do you own any guns? >> Absolutely fucking not.

What would you say is your favorite book of all-time? >> ---

Do you think you’re living a good life? >> I am doing my best with the life I have.

What’s your least favorite part of the day? >> I don’t have a least favourite part of the day.

Are you an over-achiever? >> No.

Have you ever won an award for a speech? >> No.

Do you tend to curse a lot? >> Sure.

Have you ever played on the Ouija board? >> Nope. I’ve never even seen one in person, except for seeing the box in a store or something.

Do you sleepwalk? >> No.

Have you ever slept on the floor before? >> Yeah, I did for years. I should probably have worse spinal alignment or something now, but I guess them’s the perks of doing shit like that while I was still young.

Are you a fan of public displays of affection? >> I don’t do well with physical affection whether in public or not, so, you know.

When did you last attend a yard sale? >> A couple of years ago?

Do you wish your life were simpler or more interesting? >> I like the level of simplicity I’m at right now.

What goals do you wish to accomplish tomorrow? >> ---

When is your birthday? >> 28 May.

Which is worse: going blind or deaf? >> How would I know, I haven’t experienced either.

What was the best part of today? >> Visiting a mutual’s house in FFXIV, signing the guestbook, and then turning around and there was her character (and her girlfriend’s character) right behind me, lmao. We didn’t get to chat long because their dungeon queue popped, but it was still nice.

Do you attempt to stay away from drama? >> I don’t have to stay away from it, it’s never anywhere near me in the first place.

What liquid did you last drink? >> Gose.

Do you ever prefer to be alone? >> Often.

Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet? >> No.

Favorite Disney movies >> Lilo & Stitch, Moana, and Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Have you ever been to the beach? >> Sure.

If you have, how many times have you been? >> Like... a few dozen? I don’t know.

What was your dream occupation at age ten? >> ---

Are you terrified at the idea of weight-gain? >> I don’t know if terrified is the right word, exactly, but something similar to that.

Do you drink a lot of water? >> Not a lot. I drink when I feel thirsty, and that just isn’t that often? I don’t know. Maybe I’m not good at recognising thirst cues, that’s a possibility.

Does your room have carpet or hard-wood floors? >> Carpet.

Do you take naps daily? >> No.

Who were you named after? >> I wasn’t named after anyone.

Do you plan on traveling this spring or summer? >> Well, we had planned...

Do you know anyone who is colorblind? >> Maybe?

Have you ever been a teacher’s pet? >> When I was a child, I guess, because I was precocious and nerdy and adults are obsessed with that sort of thing for some reason.

What is your absolute favorite hobby? >> *shrug* What’s a hobby.

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? >> One, provided I remember and have the executive function.

Ever been to a tanning bed before? >> No.

Are you satisfied with your financial stability? >> No matter what, I still have more financial stability than I did when I was literally penniless and living on the street, so I can deal.

Who is your favorite actor / actress? >> When it comes to people I’m always excited to see in a movie, Javier Bardem is one.

Are your nails painted? >> Nope.

What’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to someone? >> I don’t know, I’ve said a lot of mean things.

Do you ever accidentally talk to inanimate objects? >> Not accidentally, no. I do it on purpose, because it pleases me.

What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? >> Vanilla bean and matcha are the only flavours I actually like and don’t just. tolerate.

Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender? >> I don’t think I’ve ever kissed another agender person.

Do you receive any hate mail? >> No.

Have you ever sent a letter in the mail? >> When I was a kid.

If you could, would you have a pen pal? >> I don’t think I’d make a good penpal.

What color are the pants you’re wearing? >> Black with lime green print.

Have you ever had a stalker? >> No.

What is your life philosophy? >> I don’t have one.

Who last sent you a goodnight text message? >> ---

Do you own any clothes that are your favorite color? >> I don’t own any gold clothing, no.

Have you ever been in a hot tub before? >> I tried a hot tub once, at Easton Mountain. Five seconds in, I felt faint and like my heart was going to burst out of my chest, so I had to get out.

What’s your favorite comedy movie? >> Blazing Saddles and The Producers come to mind.

In which year were you born? >> 1987.