#this piece of shit life !!!!!!!
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cyber-corp · 9 months ago
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🥳🏠
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 month ago
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Look what we've become.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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inkskinned · 11 months ago
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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.
(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)
but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.
(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)
there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.
(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)
you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.
(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)
you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.
in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.
but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.
they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.
it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.
#spilled ink#warm up#can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically#i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason#it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out#we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism#where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell#at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit#but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance#> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally#> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field#> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice#i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)
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giantkillerjack · 1 year ago
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Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
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xf-cases-solved · 4 months ago
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guys, alex krycek is the Most Character of All Time
he's a bright young fbi agent. just kidding, he's secretly working for the shadow government syndicate. the syndicate hates him. so does everyone else. he killed mulder's father. he's a great assassin. he and his accomplice killed scully's sister on accident. he's a terrible assassin. he survived a car bombing. the bomb was put in the car to kill him specifically bc he's so bad at his job. he cannot have a single interaction with mulder that is not intensely homoerotic. mulder once beat the shit out of him in a chinese airport and then the wife of a french diver gave him the black oil virus in the bathroom. like that's not even a euphemism for anything, that's literally what happens. he's working for the syndicate again. he purges the black oil violently from his face and then gets abandoned behind a door underground. he is no longer working for the syndicate. he once beat the shit out of skinner in a stairwell. in retaliation, skinner later shirtlessly beats the shit out of him and handcuffs him to his balcony where he almost dies. it is just as homoerotic as it sounds. his parents were cold war immigrants and he's fluent in russian. we only learn this right before mulder is going to abandon him handcuffed to a car to go to russia. he and mulder go to russia. bad things are happening, but they're in it together. just kidding, krycek is working for the russian government. just kidding, now he is being held prone on the ground while people saw his left arm off. now he has a prosthetic arm. he's working for the russian government. he and marita are enemies. he and marita are fucking. it's probable that krycek doesn't know how to have relationships that aren't both erotic and filled with hate. he's on mulder's team now, he even kissed him about it. just kidding, he's working for the syndicate again. he has a remote that controls nanobots(???) inside skinner's body, allowing him to harm and/or kill him at will. it is just as homoerotic as it sounds. it's all going to hell and the only person he's going to save is himself. he helps get nearly the entire syndicate slaughtered. he throws cigarette smoking man down a flight of stairs to his death. he's a great assassin. he can save mulder's life. he's not going to save mulder's life. scully's child cannot be born. he will help them get her somewhere safe so the child can be born. he's going to take mulder's life. skinner takes his life instead. now he's a ghost. his ghost is on mulder's side. the cigarette smoking man outlives him. he's a terrible assassin
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clouvu · 5 months ago
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Desiderium
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dunderella · 7 months ago
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happy 1st anniversary to final fantasy 16, the game that changed my life in the best way possible 🥹💕
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dykealloy · 1 year ago
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saintaviator · 10 months ago
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moar hl scraps…. does a pose
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triglycercule · 14 days ago
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horrortale waterfall game broke me sorry (hey just like horror!)
#say it with me: average triglycercule art if i locked in#THERES NO FUCKING ART OF THIS CHAPTER YET IS EVERYONE JUST SLEEPING OR SOMETHING!!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!#all the blue's supposed to be the light from the core after horror's eye was used to reactivate it btw#and (this was unintentional but anyways) the purpleish tone horror's clothes have is because he said that to aliza in the game#ohhhh my goddddddd....... how much is your life worth......... its worth so much but treated like its nothing#ACTUALLY not EVEN horror's life. just his body. screw the personhood in the first place#hey horror looks awfully similar to another black eyed and mouthed sans out there..... huh...... i wonder who.........#current horror saying that type of shit to past horror AS IF HES NOT SUPPOSED TO BE NICER IN THE FUTURE#this was originally an excuse to draw horror with the new gray eye but then i decided against it smh.......#and also an excuse to draw blood. the ONLY thing i'm good at rendering#my inability to render is really prevalent here. only covered up by the composition and harsh lighting and lineart and whatever the fuck#anyways TRIGLYCERCULE ART???? IN THIS DAY AND AGE?????? when was the last one........... probably my birthday rain of dust art LMAO WHAAAAA#well that completes my shitty trio focused art. killer's bday dust's bday (although it was so ass) and now this! now they all have 1 piece#tricule art#horror sans#horrortale#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#my horror bias has really been showing these past few daus#but i mean........ I MEAN LIKE WHEN HES THE ONLY ONE THAT STILL GETS UPDATES OUT OF THE TRIO IM ALLOWED TO BE OVERJOYED#as the sole horror representative of mtt nation i gotta fucking carry all the other 3 supposed horror enjoyers on my back 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gan#eeaaughhhhh hes not part of the gang hes part of the trio...... get horror away from nightmares fugly ass.......euaaghhhhh#but whatever. im so excited for this art to be locked in the Five Note Banger Jail!#IF YOU READ THESE TAGS THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO PLAY THE WATERFALL GAME OR REREAD THE HORRORTALE COMIC 🫵🫵🫵‼️‼️‼️‼️👿👿👿👿👿
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o--milo--o · 2 months ago
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take the stage, roll the dice. what could go wrong? [ @gravitysketches @z3r0luvsu ]
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aachria · 1 month ago
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Y’all I’m literally SO MAD. This is my last week of classes for the semester and I have not had a SECOND OF PEACE to write A SINGLE SENTENCE. So uuuuuuuuuh no chapter today. In my defence I had the worst mental breakdown of my life last week and the seasonal depression has Got my ass.
So anywho instead of a chapter you get some art I keep forgetting I made ✊😔 SSSBMTY will be back after this brief (single chapter) hiatus on our regularly scheduled program — so no chapter next week either, you’re fresh outta luck until the 22nd.
Love you guys, stay safe and stay as happy as you can manage xoxo
Anyway here’s Wonderwall. And by that I mean the (not quite) ladies cabin in stupid ass sleepwear because I thought it was funny.
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They’re all standing in the door of the galley staring at Sanji, who just screamed louder than the gates of hell creaking open because he tried to get a midnight glass of water and saw a spider, and the rest of the boys standing around in various states of lucidity (Zoro is asleep on the table, Usopp is actively holding the spider in his hands to take outside, Franky is upright but completely unconscious, and Chopper is just kinda standing on the counter. Menacingly.).
Also Franky has matching bunny slippers with Robin and Chopper is in an identical honk shoo mimimi ass outfit as Ed’s.
Also here’s the full shot of everyone because some idiot (me) drew the stuff that got hidden behind people but would still like acknowledgment that I drew those hands, however poorly.
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Anyway I love you guys and I’ll see you in two weeks!!! ❤️❤️❤️
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territorial-utopia · 6 months ago
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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)
Sure has been a year.
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nonranghaes · 3 months ago
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heads up: vent fic. bi fem!reader who does not speak to her parents anymore. engaged au.
wonwoo likes to think he's in tune with you from the moment you step into the room. he doesn't need to look at you to feel how upset you are: you carry it plain as day with the sluggish way you shut the door behind you, the heavy way you sigh, the way you shuffle over to the fridge without greeting him. he's a little thankful for it, since it gives him enough time to bookmark his book and set it aside.
"is something wrong?" he asks as he watches you approach the couch.
you slowly ease yourself down into the spot next to him, only to collapse into it all at once. he can see how tired you look, and he wraps an arm around you, drawing you into his side. without saying anything, you just climb closer, face buried in his shoulder as you hold him tight. something's wrong.
"... honey?" he says the word softly. it's his go-to when you're upset, a quiet reminder that he's here, he loves you, all you have to do is say the word and he'll listen. "what happened?"
but even then, you don't speak. you just break, sniffling until you can't hold back your tears anymore, crying into his shoulder. he reaches for your abandoned phone on the couch cushions and decides to check his theory. only one thing gets you this upset...
and sure enough, your last call was to your parents. a glance at your texts tells him that they were bugging you to call, to give them one more chance to be in your life. he doesn't know how they found out about your engagement, but he knows that has to be why they were harassing you into speaking to them again. the photos, the proposal video... all of it is on your account just like its on his, so all of your friends can celebrate with you.
he doesn't need you to speak to know what they probably said to you. he knows something about "making the right choice" is in there, and not in the way it should be in the fact you chose to stay with the person you love. he just curls his arms around you, holding you tight as he drops your phone back onto the couch cushions.
"it's okay." he shuts his eyes. "i've got you."
wonwoo is a quiet man, but he knows. he knows if, somehow, they showed up... he wouldn't be quiet. not unless you asked, and even then, he might still start yelling if they think they can disrespect you. not in his lifetime. he just holds you a little tighter, and kisses the side of your head.
he's got you. for a lifetime and beyond, if you'll have him.
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swordsandholly · 6 months ago
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Should I start working on this College AU rugby player Soap x art history major (sort of low self-esteem) reader again?
I’ve been thinkin’ about it. Their story haunts me. Anyway here’s a snippet for you to judge:
You sit in the common grounds on an old, tattered quilt under one of the oaks. You managed to score a good spot today, just enough sun to be warm but not enough to force you to squint. The tree curves in that perfect shape for you to lean back against it. You’ve settled into your millionth re-read of Howl’s Moving Castle. A go to when college gets too hard for your brain and you need something easy to digest. Like saltines on a sick stomach.
A faint call of, “Bonnie!” jerks you from the quiet of your moment. Oh, God. Johnny comes jogging up from a group of his fellow rugby players. If only the way he smiles at you didn’t direct all of your attention onto him, maybe you could have gotten away with pretending not to see or hear him.
As it is, you totally can. You push your sunglasses up onto the top of your head and pluck out an earphone just to sit up on your elbows. “Johnny.”
All six foot of the man comes plunking down onto the grass beside you. “I don’ get tae see ye around campus often. Feels like I havennae seen ye in forever.”
“I work a lot.” You repeat. Why couldn’t the gods gift you with at least moderate conversational skills? “It’s only been, like, four days. You weren’t in class yesterday.”
He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “Aye… Might have, eh, partaken a bit too much…”
You snort. “As long as you weren’t drinking and driving.”
“I would never.” The response is immediate, his tone unrecognizably dark. A sore spot.
“I’ll give you the notes.” You tilt your head back, changing the subject quickly. The shadows move and the sun begins to encroach upon your spot. It’s nice, actually.
“Ye donnae have tae-”
“I don’t mind.” You wave him off. “We can go over them on study night.”
A loud whistle and a holler echo from the other side of the lawn. Johnny’s buddies are all grouped up, staring. Well, the ones that aren’t actively being distracted by pretty girls are. Your eye meets with the man in the mask, staring each other down for a very brief moment. A shiver runs down your spine as he turns away. Two of the others lean in, snickering while they watch the two of you. It makes your chest hurt in a far too familiar way.
“I think your boys are calling.” You turn back to look at Johnny.
“Och, they can wait.” He shrugs those wide shoulders. Has he gotten bigger recently? “Whit are ye readin’?”
“Oh, nothing, just some kids book…” Before you can tuck it away he snatches it up, flipping it over to the back.
“My sisters read this! They watched the movie a lot. S’about tha’ girl who gets swept off her feet by a dashing wizard, eh?” He grins and leans in. “Remind ye of anybody, bonnie?”
You sit up and scoff, snatching the book back. “Fancy yourself dashing, MacTavish?”
“On occasion.” He winks.
You roll your eyes and mock gag. The man sure lays it on thick. “Well if you read the book you’d know he’s a whiny little brat, so, frankly, yes, it does remind me of a certain somebody.”
Johnny pouts dramatically, only further proving your point. “Got a sharp tongue on ye, hen.”
“It comes in handy.” You chuckle.
“God, I’d be so good to ye.” He says so fast you almost miss it as he grins wide.
You splutter out an awkward laugh, caught entirely off guard. The words sting a bit. He’s joking, obviously. It’s a little cruel. Uncharacteristically so.
Another shout has Johnny rolling his eyes and standing up. “I’ll see ye Thursday?”
“Thursday…” You nod, eyes still wide. You’re sure you look ridiculous.
Mr. Johnny-Sees-All grins back at you with a knowing spark in his eye. “Later, hen!”
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shima-draws · 11 months ago
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Ghost Cora AU where he’s actually been following Law around ever since he died but nobody has been able to see him, so all he’s able to do is watch Law get hurt and suffer in silence. UNTIL, miraculously, the battle of Dressrosa ends, and for some strange reason—through some supernatural bullshit or maybe just fate—one person is finally able to see him.
Law is sitting on the deck of the Yonta Maria watching everyone party when Luffy comes trotting over to him. And Luffy plops down beside him and says, “I’ve been meaning to ask, Torao, but who’s that really tall blonde guy with the funny makeup that’s been following you around?”
And Law’s just like
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