#this ones over a year old at this point but i had to post it

[themaveriqueagenda]

this is really interesting! though parts of it seem slightly contradictory, because there's this

please apply them at will to yourself based on your own ideas about what it means to dress femininely or dramatically or androgynously etc.

but also this:

describing [...] a presentation others might consider masculine/feminine

is it up to one's own interpretation or about how others see you? particularly as an apothibinary person i have a lot of trouble taking on other people's perceptions of me as a self-descriptor, because they're usually binary(-adjacent). i'm also flat out just not going to give people power over my words like that. (i'm not saying that anyone who identifies as masc/fem because that's how others perceive them is wrong btw. i know many do it for simplicity as well as for self-empowerment. i just personally cannot.)

i also take issue with the

masc---fem scale

because if we can acknowledge that the gender spectrum itself isn't linear like that, we must acknowledge this about the spectrum of gender presentation too. you can be outside of the masc---fem scale or you can just simply not label your gender presentation at all.

another thing that feels a little off to me is that fox is described as an

androgynous, fluid, or combined presentation

while also being described as

[not resembling] the other sides of the spectrum

that latter definition is actually broader than androgynous, fluid or combined, as it does technically also include anything outside of that scale or nothing at all, but it's not truly accounting for that.

i'm aware the chart exists mainly for lighthearted silliness, but also you can say that masculinity and femininity are up to interpretation all you want, the chart is once again very stereotypical and doesn't really leave wiggle room for people with broader definitions of masculinity, femininity or androgyny. for example, i sometimes like wearing dresses which most would consider swan/feminine, but i feel deeply uncomfortable calling myself or my dresses feminine or swan (because let's be real, swan here is just another word for feminine).

i know this post is over 7 years old so how we talk about nonbinary presentation has evolved a bit. i'd be curious if anyone ever expanded on these terms to account for other gender presentations.

nonetheless, if i had to put myself on that scale, i'd probably be a crow-fox, because not resembling the other sides is the most how i conceptualise my gender presentation.

however, at this point, i don't really use any gender presentation terms, not even maverine or other outherine terms, because i no longer find them personally helpful to me. i could dress in exclusively skirts and dresses and i would still not consider my gender presentation feminine because i consider that to be misgendering. most people would perceive me as feminine though if i did that, so at that point, i wouldn't really be communicating anything if i called my presentation maverine when everyone else sees someone feminine. at this point, my gender presentation is synonymous with my gender. i'm maverique, so everything i wear is also maverique.

hopefully other people can get more use of this spectrum though and i'd be curious where all the maveriques & friends fall on this.

Non-binary Presentation Terms

Although words like butch, femme, masc, and fem have been applied to nonbinary folk since their inception, they don’t always meet the needs of non-binary people in comfortably describing the way we look. 

So here are a new additional set of options! We’ve considered two different “axes” here – one that relates most closely to the masc—fem scale, and one that considers “effort”, or a level of… drama or ostentation in a look. They can be combined as one pleases or used individually! 

Additionally, please apply them at will to yourself based on your own ideas about what it means to dress femininely or dramatically or androgynously etc. These words are not to be held hostage to cissexism or gender roles. These words also describe presentations that are inherently not binary – the only reason we’re using words like “masculine” and “feminine” to describe them at all is for ease of communication. They can and should describe particular looks, including those that people are inclined to gender, without actually gendering them. 

Note: These are not coined with the intention of being gender identities. They have nothing inherently to do with gender identity. You can be a demigirl stag, etc. (That said, if someone wants to use them as a gender because you feel it’s tied closely to your presentation, we’re certainly not stopping you.) 

Here they are!

Stag: A “masc”, “butch” or “tomcat” equivalent, describing a presentation one considers to be associated with ideas about masculinity, or a presentation others might consider masculine. 

Fox: Describing an androgynous, fluid, or combined presentation; can be applied to any presentation a person feels doesn’t resemble the other sides of the spectrum.  

Swan: A “femme/fem” or “doe” equivalent, describing a presentation one considers to be associated with ideas about femininity, or a presentation others might consider feminine. 

Sparrow: A casual, minimalist, muted or low-effort presentation. For example, for those folks who just roll through their closet and go. 

Crow: For presentations that are in-between, combined, or fluid along a scale of effort/ostentation. 

Peacock: For presentations that are high effort. Glam, dramatic, flashy, flamboyant, attention-drawing, etc. Dressed to the nines, so to speak! 

so anyway tag urself

(chart meant purely to be silly and fun, not to suggest actual criteria or associations. Disregard entirely if you resonate with the terms but not these goofy tidbits.)

Keep reading

[pboogerswbb]

LET IT SNOW

Paige Bueckers x reader In which Paige and reader spend a snowy day babysitting reader's niece and nephew (loosely based on a request i got weeks ago) Warnings: fluff, suggestiveish? very very very sweet, will make you sick (fluff is very hard for me to write ok be nice) Wordcount: 2.9K A/C: happy christmas eve everyone <3 this is my christmas present to y'all so enjoy this while i take some time to rest and spend time with my family :) unfortunately that means you gotta wait for chapter 2 of so it goes for a little longer but i want to take a break for a few days from writing over christmas! i hope you understand. everyone who celebrates christmas pls spend it eating, drinking (if you're of age), and don't kill your family pls (i know that's much to ask over the holidays let's be real). i'll return to writing so it goes post christmas! MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS <3

-

“There’s a list of allergies on the fridge, if Mia throws a fit just put her in the stroller and walk her around for a bit, if she won’t calm down call me. Whatever you see in the fridge you can eat, and call me whenever! I’ll have my ringer up and-”

“Chloe-”

“and really call me whenever you need to! And have your ringer up too!”

“Chloe!”

Your aunt’s husband is pulling on her arm, trying to get her further than the front door but 10 minutes have already been spent going through everything for the day.

“Auntie Chlo we’ve babysat before. They’re in good hands,” you reassure, smiling brightly at her. She inhales deeply and chuckles when she realises how long she’s been rambling for.

“You’re right, the kids love you. Especially you Paige, they’ve missed you. Been showing them clips of your games!” Your aunt says, head tilting upwards to look at the blonde girl standing behind you, hands wrapped around your waist. 

You and Paige had been dating for over a year now, celebrating your first of what would be many anniversaries. In that short amount of time the blonde had made her way into the depths of your closest circle, becoming a part of your family. It happened effortlessly, the way she fit into your life, the way she clicked with your relatives. You swore they loved her more than you at this point. This was about to be the first Christmas she ever spent with your family, and just the idea of her with all your loved ones made your chest fill with warmth.

So when your aunt Chloe called you in a crisis on Christmas Eve, her babysitter getting sick at the last minute, you and Paige were quick to agree to look after your nearly 2-year-old niece Mia and 7-year-old nephew Leo. 

“Go! We got this aight,” Paige reassures, resting her chin on the top of your head as she does.

Pulled away by her husband, your auntie waves goodbye and closes the door, leaving you and Paige alone with the kids standing behind you. Before you can even react, Mia’s lower lip begins to quiver, the sight of her mother gone upsetting the small child. 

“Uh oh,” you mumble, Paige swiftly making her way to the little girl and picking her up, pouting her own lower lip to mirror the child.

“Are you sad because you miss mama? She’ll be back later, I promise,” Paige coos to Mia, rocking her in her arms. She’s wearing a white t-shirt despite the snow outside, for some reason she was always warm, and her biceps were growing more prominent as she held the child by her hip. The sight of Paige comforting your niece made your heart flutter, making it hard to tear your eyes away. watching Mia bury her face into the crook of Paige’s neck.

“We’ve got a really fun day planned for you!” You gleam at both of the children, ruffling Leo’s hair. He laughs but pushes your hand off, running to the kitchen.

“Can I have a cookie?” The boy asks, clearly taking advantage of the moment that his parents’ watchful eyes weren’t around.

“No-” you start but Paige is already following him to the kitchen. She was such a pushover, always had been with the kids. Just some pouting, eyes batting and she was ready to bend every which way for them.

“Paige!” You complain as the blonde easily reaches to the top shelf, grabbing a jar of chocolate chip cookies.

“What?” She asks unbothered by your scolding, handing a cookie to Leo, and taking a bite of one herself. “Wanted a cookie,” she mumbles, her mouth full.

“Cookie! Gimme!” Mia babbles, short hands reaching for the cookie your girlfriend is holding between her teeth.

“Oh good God…” you groan, rubbing your forehead, already knowing this was going to be a long day if the kids had the blonde wrapped around their finger this much already. But when Mia giggles as Paige feeds her a part of the cookie, you decide not to care. If there was a time to spoil the kids it was on Christmas Eve.

“C’mere,” Paige nods you over, grabbing another cookie. You scurry into the kitchen, grabbing Mia from her and kissing the little girl’s forehead. She giggles brightly, clearly in a much better mood. You nuzzle your nose into her soft cheek, eliciting more laughs from the baby. The whole time Paige can’t look away even for a second, her heart fluttering with affection. Paige was completely in love with you, and seeing you like this only made her feel it more.

“What are we gonna dooo all day?” Leo interrupts the moment, yanking on Paige’s shirt. She grins and ruffles his hair affectionately. Leo and Paige had bonded quickly the first time they met, and now they’re best friends. In fact Leo facetimes Paige weekly on your aunt’s phone.

“We’ve got some ideas.” The blonde says smirking.

-

The weather is perfect, the gentle winter sun not warming but making everything brighter as the rays reflect off the snow. Snowflakes fall softly from the sky, adding to the already covered ground as you walk behind Leo and Paige, holding Mia in your arms, trying to catch your breath as you climb on top of a hill.

“Isn’t this high enough?” You ask, glancing down, worrying that Leo would be too scared to get on the sled. Predictably so, the two in front of you look over their shoulders, immediately uttering the word “no” in unison

“Auntie Paigey and your big brother have gone cray cray,” you murmur to the babbling Mia, wrapped in her warmest winter gear. 

“Okay, here’s good!” Paige says, finally putting the sled she was carrying down, looking around the group.

“You wanna go first Leo?”

Suddenly the boy looks down, hesitating. It’s pretty steep, especially at first. You could tell he felt unsure, but Paige noticed it too.

“I’m actually lowkey scared, can we ride down together?” She asks, covering for the boy. For a moment your eyes meet with hers, wanting nothing more but to kiss her right now. Paige always had you weak in the knees, but the way she skillfully handled kids only made you love her more.

“Okay we can go together I guess,” Leo complains, deep down relieved. They sit down on the sled, Paige behind the boy, ready to steer.

“Wait!” She yelps, turning to you, blinking fast. “Kiss for good luck.”

Apparently she’d been feeling the same about the kiss.

Humming, you place Mia down on the ground to play with the snow, leaning close to Paige. Her warm lips press into yours, in a loving, gentle peck that let you know she wanted to do so much more, if it wasn’t for the company.

“Yuck!” Leo whines, making both of you giggle.

“Hey, have some respect for your auntie,” Paige grins and pushes the sled forward. Suddenly they’re riding down at such speed you can barely watch. Someone was bound to get hurt.

Both of them scream as the speed accelerates, the sounds echoing in the air. To your surprise they both make it all the way down safe and sound, Paige stopping the sled and jumping off.

“That was so fast!” Leo chuckles hysterically, making your girlfriend laugh too. You could hear them laughing all the way up where you were standing. 

“Ball,” Mia babbles, pointing at a pile of snow. Giggling, you sit down on the ground next to her, beginning to roll one snowball after the other and handing them to the girl. 

“Look Mia!” You gasp to get her attention. Her wide eyes turn to you, long eyelashes fluttering as she watches. You throw a snowball into the air, Mia’s eyes following as it crashes to the ground. Immediately she claps, a wide smile on her face to reward your efforts.

“Babe it’s your turn,” Paige’s voice says as she’s climbing up, trying to catch her breath.

You scoff, continuing to play with the snow for Mia. “Not happening P,”

“Oh you’re scared huh?” The blonde teases, a smug smirk spreading across her face.

Leo gasps. “It’s not scary at all! I was scared at first too!”

You roll your eyes, not falling for their games. 

“I’m playing with my girl here, you boys leave us alone,” you say, poking your tongue out at your girlfriend. She scoffs loud, walking over to you and wrapping her arms around your waist, lifting you up and throwing you over her shoulder with ease.

Leo laughs loud, pointing at the two of you. “Paige is not a boy!”

“Let me down!” You yelp, kicking your legs and arms but it’s no use. She’s much too strong, carrying you towards the sled. Your squeals make Mia laugh loudly, a wide smile spread on her face.

“Look after your sis for a bit, aight?” Paige tells Leo, placing you down on the sled. You’re still giggling, shaking your head.

“I’m not gonna! It’s scary!” You laugh, the blonde sitting snug behind you on the sled, wrapping her legs around you.

“Don’t be such a wuss,” she teases, her arms wrapping over your waist. Leaning in, you feel her hot air tickling against your ear as she whispers. “I gotchu ma, don’t worry.”

With that, Paige pushes off the snowy ground, holding onto you tight. Quickly the speed picks up, fluttering in the pit of your stomach. The freezing cold air tingles against your skin and your eyes water from the cold as you laugh.

“Ahhh P-“ you scream, turning your gaze backwards and finding that, to your shock, the blonde behind you is pushing on the ground to make you go even faster. “STOP!”

Paige giggles into your ear, her arms wrapping around you tight to hold you close. Soon it’s over as you reach the base of the hill, the speed finally slowing down and flutters in your abdomen disappearing.

“Told you it wasn’t so scary,” the blonde grins, helping you up.

“Uh yes it was,” you laugh, grabbing a handful of snow and throwing it at the girl in front of you. Some of it gets onto her face, making Paige pause.

Her mouth turns into a tight smile and her blue eyes widen. Immediately you know you’re in trouble.

“Oh it’s like that huh?” She says and you squeal, already beginning to run when she starts to throw the powdery snow all over you.

“No no no no please!” You can barely breathe, gasping for air and trying to run, the snowy ground making your steps heavy. Paige, being a D1 athlete, easily reaches you. 

“Oh so now you regret it!” She laughs, snow falling into your coat, down your neck, making you scream louder as the girl chasing you wraps her arms around your waist, spinning you in the air. 

“Stop! Paige!”

“Say please,” she orders, her tone lighthearted.

You roll your eyes, hating having to admit defeat, but knowing it must be done.

“Fine! Please, please stop Paige please,” you whine, batting your wide eyes at the girl. She looks at you, finally putting you down and kissing your forehead.

“Wanna hear you just like that later,” she whispers the dirty words into your ear, lips brushing against your skin, tingling. Before you can scoff or tell her off, Mia’s loud cry disrupts the moment.

Both you and Paige hurry up the hill, towards Leo who’s holding his sister, bouncing him gently to soothe the little girl.

“What happened?” You ask, swiftly scooping Mia from the boy and trying her cheeks to see if she was cold. Nope, perfectly toasty from all the layers.

“Nothing! She just started crying!”

But then, studying her face, you notice the redness of her eyes, her mittened hands trying to rub them desperately.

“Aw, she’s sleepy,” Paige says, like reading your mind, grabbing the sled. 

“We should probably head back, she needs to take a nap,” you murmur, trying to soothe the girl in your arms, ear-piercing screams and cries spilling from her mouth.

All four of you hurry to the car, but no attempts to calm Mia down help. She’s exhausted, plump bottom lip quivering as she keeps crying the whole drive home. You could feel yourself getting exhausted, the loud noise becoming overwhelming and stressful. Paige could see it too, the way you were sighing and taking deep breaths. So when you return to the house, she grabs your hand and kisses it before getting up from the car.

“I’ll take her to bed okay? You rest ma,” she murmurs. Relief spreads all over your chest and you smile affectionately.

“How’d I get so lucky?” You ask.

“Nah, I’m lucky. Got the best girl in the entire world.

-

After an hour of the faint sounds of Paige’s lullabies (off-key but she would never admit that) and trying to reason with the 2-year-old like that might help, the cries eventually quiet down. Leo is resting too, playing in his room. You’ve been in the kitchen, making spaghetti for all of you. Checking the clock you realise it’s been about 30 minutes since you last heard any sound from Mia, yet Paige still hadn’t returned downstairs.

Quietly, you sneak your way up the stairs, ever so carefully opening the door into the bedroom to not wake up Mia. But what you find makes your heart flutter - in the dimmed out room, Paige and Mia are both asleep, your girlfriend holding the little girl close. The blonde’s mouth is slightly ajar, soft snores escaping through. For a moment you just watch, allowing the love you felt for them both to spread. You walk over, make sure they’re both covered up by the blanket before sneaking back out, leaving them in bed.

“Leo, come eat dinner soon, ok?” You whisper to him in the other room. His eyes lighting up, the little boy gets up holding a toy dinosaur and follows you downstairs.

“Can I watch The Grinch while I eat? Please please please!” He begs, giving you puppy eyes.

“Mmkay, just this once,” you bend to his will, setting it all up for him. You can’t help but watch Leo getting snuggled up on the couch, a blanket around him, eyes wide staring at the TV. Leaning against the arch into the living room, you feel your body tired from the day, muscles aching and mind exhausted. But your insides are fluttering with warmth, no other word for the specific feeling but pure joy. Walking back into the kitchen you begin to make your own plate of food.

You let your mind wonder, and maybe it’s risky. It’s much too soon to be thinking anything close to it. But since it’s Christmas, you let yourself. Your mind comes up with vivid images of you and Paige, in a house of your own, decorating the tree - Paige the only one tall enough to place the star on top. You can see you two baking cookies and watching Christmas movies, hot chocolate in bed. 

And maybe, just maybe eventually, two children of your own. There are flutters in your heart thinking about building snowmen with your little family, roasting marshmallows in the fireplace, dressing them up in tiny costumes and sending family postcards to your relatives and friends. It felt so far away, yet you could see it so vividly. 

As if she had heard your thoughts, suddenly warm hands land on your waist, Paige’s reflection appearing in the window in front of you. Humming, her front presses flush to your back, fitting against you just right.

“I fell asleep,” she murmurs, burying her nose into your hair and inhaling. It’s like heaven, after a long day, to feel her like this again.

“I noticed,” you reply, beginning to make a plate for the girl as well. She watches closely, following every movement from behind you until her lips find your neck, beginning to press soft, loving kisses along the nape of it. 

Eyes fluttering shut, you hum, turning your head to face the blonde behind you. Hand reaching for your jaw, she pulls you into a gentle kiss, lips sliding against yours slowly. “Can’t wait to see you be a mom,” Paige whispers against your mouth, chest heaving.

A deep blush sets on your cheeks hearing the words, taking them in. The blonde watches your reaction, clearly trying to read you.

“I’m sorry if that’s too much to say this early but I-”

“No,” you shake your head with a smile. “I can’t wait for that either.”

Relief washes over your girlfriend, as she pecks your lips once more. 

“We’re gonna be so good ma, best parents in the world.”

Beaming with joy, both you and Paige walk into the living room where Leo is sitting, eyes glued to the movie.

“Yo! Scooch!” Paige tells the boy, who shuffles to the corner of the couch. Both you and your girlfriend sit in the opposite corner, holding your bowls of spaghetti and getting settled. The blonde quickly wraps an arm around you, pulling you to lean against her side. You’re snuggled up, feeding bites of food to each other and stealing kisses whenever the boy isn't watching.

“I love you,” Paige whispers into your ear, blue eyes sparkling with adoration.

“I love you too Paige,” you whisper back, cheeks rosy and heart fluttering from the perfect snowy day.

-

taglist: @xxloveralways14 @bueckersfive @sierrale8ne @thaatdigitaldiary @lovegalor333 @lupinqs @rosemariiaa @janaelalfysblunt @d3arapril @vamptizm

[gold-onthe-inside]

Christmas Request: Spencer catches wind that one of JJ’s kids (or his own kid) doesn’t believe in Santa, so he commits to growing out his beard, dying it white and dressing up as Santa to bring a lil holiday cheer to the kiddos - can be xOC

santa's little helper 🍬🎅

who? spencer reid (post prison) x bau!reader

summary: after finding out henry no longer believes in santa after he missed last christmas, spencer dedicates this year to bringing the magic of christmas back to his godson's life... with a little help from you, of course.

content warnings: fleeting reference to cat adams, a little kissing, spencer with a beard, ambiguous status of reader's relationship to spencer (could be a wife, fiance, girlfriend, up to you),

In the 12 years you've known Spencer, he's never been keen on growing facial hair, and it had never been something you'd thought twice about. And then Cat Adams had come into your lives and had been determined to ruin the happily ever after the two of had fought so hard to make. Spencer's prison sentence had rivalled only Emily's faked death in the pain it had caused you two, the only difference being that at least Spencer wasn't actually dead. The two of you were a month and a half away from the anniversary of his release, and he'd completely stopped shaving for that year, growing out his facial hair.

You hoped that if it was something serious, he'd have told you, or if not you, his mandated therapist. Besides, other than that, he was taking care of himself, eating well, had finally started sleeping better, you had nothing else to complain about. You'd brought the beard up a couple months ago, but his brow had furrowed in concern and his brown puppy dog eyes baring his heart to you when he asked if you didn't like it. "No, I do like it," you had insisted, which was true. You'd learned early on that Spencer could play around with his hairstyles and you found him no less attractive (just never ever grow out a mullet again, for the love of God).

You'd grown used to it, too, his scruff tickling you when he'd kiss you, which was practically every time he got the chance these days. It's your turn to host the Christmas Eve party and the two of you are going over the house with a fine tooth comb, armed to the teeth with cleaning supplies, and that's when you find the white hairspray, mid-way through your bathroom cleanse. Which would go well with the Santa suit tucked away in the back of his wardrobe. You knew Spencer had his silly moments - with his mismatched socks and magic tricks, and with the amount of times he's pulled stuff out of your ear just to make you smile couldn't be counted. But it felt out of character for him to spend the whole night you had planned (Secret Santa, dinner, and Christmas movies) with white hair and a beard.

He's using all the body strength he has in rigorously cleaning the kitchen floor, intent on making it so clean you could eat off of it, when you trudge downstairs, hairspray in hand. "Spence, is this yours?" you asked, skipping the last step, to the kitchen and he looked up, then froze at the sight of the hairspray.

"It's not what it looks like," he tried, sitting on his knees and you narrowed your eyes.

"It looks like you're planning to dress as Santa at some point," you said, leaning against the doorway, and you watched him stand up and pull off his gloves.

"Okay, yeah, maybe it is what it looks like," he said with a sigh, taking a seat on a bar stool. "Henry, uh, doesn't believe in Santa anymore, so JJ and I were planning to let him stay up tomorrow night and catch Santa in the act."

"Oh," you said, nodding at first, but then frowning a little. "I mean, what's wrong with Henry not believing in Santa? He's like, 9 years old. That happens."

"I know it's developmentally appropriate for him to be questioning these things," Spencer said, letting out another little sigh. "But that's not why he doesn't believe in Santa anymore."

Your frown deepened. "What do you mean?"

He wet his lips, not quite meeting your gaze. "Last Christmas… he asked Santa for me to come home," he said quietly, almost ashamed. "And then when I wasn't there…"

"He stopped believing in Santa," you filled in the rest and he looked so sad. "Spence," you said softly, crossing over to hug him, setting the spray on the kitchen island. "It's not your fault."

"It is," he said, choking a little on his voice as he tucked himself into your arms.

"Honey, you were framed, it's not your fault," you insisted, rubbing his back.

"I just… I can't be the reason he doesn't believe in these things anymore," he mumbled into your shoulder.

"Okay, okay," you said, pulling away to look at him, your hands cupping his neck, thumbs stroking his bearded jaw. "Can I help?" His lips twitched into a smile at you.

"Well, um… Honestly, I think I'm gonna make a mess of the hairspray, and you did such a good job at Halloween with Jack's Cyberman costume--"

"I can do that," you murmured, kissing him gently, and his hands loosened to grasp your waist.

Now, here he sat in front of the mirror in the bathroom, watching you meticulously section and spray his hair, which was already damp from the shower.

"Did you know," he started, and you hummed in recognition that you were listening. "That Saint Nicholas was a real guy? He was Greek."

"The Greeks had saints?" you asked.

"Not really," he said, shaking his head as you sectioned out another piece of hair, coating it gently in white hairspray. "Not the kind you're thinking of, but Nicholas of Myra was real. Born in the third century. He apparently had a reputation for secret gift giving, like… leaving coins in people's shoes."

"Keep your head still," you chastised through a giggle.

"Sorry," he mumbled, tilting his chin up to keep still. "He died from natural causes in like, 340, which, for the time, was a good run. It was like… a hundred years later that he became a saint, but by then of course, all of the people who knew him personally were long gone."

"I hate when that happens," you murmured, shifting his chin so you could colour his beard next. "Appreciating people for what they've done after they've died."

"Well, he was very well respected during his life. The story goes that three separate couples were having financial trouble, and in those days, a daughter without a dowry would either never get married or would become a prostitute. So, according to the story, Saint Nick came in the middle of the night and climbed onto their roofs, and dropped three small pouches of gold down their chimneys."

"Honey, I'm gonna need you to be quiet or you're gonna taste hairspray," you said, colouring his jaw, just the hair around his lips left.

"Sorry," he said, his words muffled slightly, and you could see that he was trying desperately not to smile, his shoulders shaking. "I'm done," he said, and you were fairly sure the shake in his voice was from suppressed laughter.

You chuckle quietly, colouring the last of his beard. "All done, Mr Claus."

"How do I look?" he asked, getting out of the chair and taking a look in the mirror, his eyes going wide. "This looks incredible!"

"Yeah?" you asked, stepping away. Spencer had a habit of exaggerating your accomplishments, but you had done a pretty good job with his hair.

"You're a miracle worker," he said, turning to face you, and you could see his excitement. "Now, Santa needs to go get dressed." You chuckled, stepping out of the bathroom so he could get dressed, and sat by the foot of the bed, waiting.

When he reappeared ten minutes later wearing the Santa suit, the white hair and white beard you'd given him made him look like an old man, but there was a brightness in his eyes as he did a little twirl. "How do I look?" he asked, and in spite of how silly he looked, you couldn't help but find him handsome.

You laughed to yourself. "Perfectly in character. Though you could use a little belly."

"Are you saying I'm too thin?" he said, faking offence. He knew he was skinny but sometimes a little gentle ribbing was warranted.

"I'm just saying, Santa's supposed to be fat."

"I take good care of my cardiovascular health, thank you very much," he said, and he looked so ridiculous in the suit, with the white hair and beard, that you were unable to take the conversation seriously. "You know, the modern version of what Santa's supposed to look like was invented in the nineteenth century," he said, his hands on his hips, still very much in character. "Before then, Saint Nick was usually described as an older, slender man, and before that, he was more of a demonic black man. It's only in the fifties that the modern image of Santa was created."

"Okay, okay," you said, holding your hands up. "Skinny Santa it is." You checked your watch. "We should go before Henry actually falls asleep."

Spencer's expression went from Santa to slightly terrified very quickly. "Crap, is it time already?"

"Relax," you assured him, kissing his cheek before leading the way out. "It's just a little breaking and entering. You leave the gifts, you slip right back out."

"Just a little breaking and entering," he repeated dryly. "Why doesn't that make me feel better?"

You snickered quietly, grabbing your coat and car keys. "For someone who's supposed to be a hardened felon, you're so innocent."

He took offence to that. "Hey," he said, as you both started out of the house. "I was incarcerated for three months. I am very much street wise now."

You opened the passenger side door for him. "Streetwise? Really?"

He climbed into the passenger seat, sticking out his tongue at you as you shut the door.

"I know all about the street life," he said, as you got into the driver's side. "I know how they talk, I know what they do, I know..." His voice trailed off as you shot him a look. "Okay, so maybe everything I know about the street life comes from television."

You couldn't help another laugh as you started the car.

His lips curled into a smile when he saw your reaction, and he leaned across the middle of the car to kiss your cheek. He sat back in his seat and you began the short trip to JJ's house. "Alright, JJ said she's gonna leave the back door open," you said, going over the plan with the same gravity you used for unsub takedowns. "There's cookies and milk left on the kitchen counter. The tree's in the living room."

"Got it," Spencer said decidedly, nodding. "Cookies, milk, tree, simple."

You turned off the headlights as you approached the house, killing the engine across the street. Spencer got out of the car and jogged across the street, ducking around the side of the house. He found the back door like you'd said, and went inside, very much in undercover Santa mode. He went into the kitchen, making for the counter where the cookies and milk were, and that's when he heard it. Quiet footsteps coming down the stairs. Spencer panicked, trying to find a place to hide, but there really wasn't one. The cookies and milk were left in the middle of the counter, there weren't any cupboards or anything of the sort. He was stuck, with only the Christmas tree as a possible cover. There was nothing he could do but hope that whoever was coming downstairs didn't flip on the light as he dove behind the tree.

The footsteps stopped, and Spencer held his breath, his heart thudding in his chest as the Christmas tree needles dug into his skin. He could see a pair of little feet in front of him. They weren't JJ, which could only mean- "Mr Claus?" the little voice said, and he shut his eyes, praying to something, anything that he hadn't been caught by Henry.

After a long moment, he peeked out from behind the tree, only to find Henry staring right at him. "H-hi," Spencer stuttered. "I-I didn't realise you'd be awake."

Henry's eyes went wide. "I-It's really you." He had that childlike glee that came with finding out about the magic of Christmas, and while Spencer would usually give anything to have that look come back on Henry's face, this was a little inconvenient.

"Ah, I-I mean," Spencer fumbled over his words, trying to come up with a valid reason he would be in JJ's house at this moment, wearing a Santa suit and munching on cookies. "Um..."

"Where's your reindeer?" Henry asked, completely enthralled by Spencer, and he realised that he actually hadn't thought of a cover story to accompany the Santa suit.

"Oh, they're in the- they're in the sleigh," he said, and even he thought it sounded stupid when he said it out loud. "They're getting a rest while they can."

"The ride must be hard," Henry said, and Spencer was quietly impressed by that. He was just as smart as his parents, and he probably would have called him out on his lie if he'd given an excuse about a magic sleigh.

"It sure is," Spencer said, trying to keep his voice calm, and he hoped that the rest of the night wasn't going to be as awkward as this interaction had been so far. "Do you mind if I finish eating these? I only get so many breaks tonight." It was the sort of thing he could imagine a real Santa saying and Henry's eyes widened at that.

"Oh, of course," he said, stepping back. "I, uh, need to go to the bathroom." And then Henry was running upstairs. Once he was sure the kid had walked away, Spencer leaned against the wall, letting out a sigh and he silently hoped that you weren't watching him struggle. He finished off the last of the milk and the cookies, and, once he'd composed himself, he made his way to the living room and over to the Christmas tree. He dropped the bag of gifts under the tree, just as he was supposed to.

Meanwhile, Henry was upstairs, trying to get JJ to wake up. "Mom, Mom," he said, shaking his mother gently. "Wake up, Mom, you gotta see this."

JJ grumbled as she got up, Will shifting beside her, but still deep asleep. "What is it, Henry?"

"Santa is downstairs," he said in an excited whisper.

"He is?" JJ asked, rubbing her eyes and yawning a little, Henry pulling her out of bed with all his might.

"Yep. He's downstairs in the living room," he said, dragging her out of bed, and he wasn't kidding because his strength was remarkable. JJ let her son pull her down the stairs, neither of them seeing Santa sneak out the back door. He jogged across the street to the car, getting inside. You watched him in mild amusement as he shut the door, and he was slightly out of breath, which was a comical combination with the Santa suit.

"Mission accomplished?" you asked, a smile on your lips.

"I got caught," he breathed, his voice sounding slightly panicked, and your smile faded into concern as you realised he was serious. "But I think I covered it."

"Did he realise you weren't Santa?" you asked.

"I don't think so," he said, and he did seem a little unsure. "He didn't mention anything about it, and he seemed excited by me being there, but I honestly don't know. It's probably a fifty-fifty chance that he realized it was me."

Meanwhile, Henry had dragged his mom downstairs to an empty living room. "I swear he was here," Henry protested, and JJ was still half-asleep and only slightly confused. "I-I saw him."

"M sure you did, baby," JJ murmured. "Come on, let's get you to bed."

"No, I did see him!" Henry said, looking around the living room. He ran into the kitchen. "And he was eating the cookies and the milk!"

"Well, he probably left, Henry," JJ reasoned, following him. "He's got a lot of kids to deliver to."

The wonder on Henry's face was replaced with disappointment, and JJ pulled the nine year-old into a hug. "I know it sucks, baby," she said. "But I'm sure Santa will have left you lots of gifts." Henry huffed, pouting, and JJ smiled down at his adorable expression. "Come on," she said, starting up the stairs. "Back to bed, kiddo."

Once they reached upstairs, Henry climbed into bed, and JJ tucked him in. He looked slightly upset, but JJ planted a kiss on his forehead. Even at nine-years-old, he still wanted to believe in Santa. "So, you believe in Santa again?" JJ asked.

"I told you," Henry said, his voice indignant, sounding very much like his father. "I saw him."

JJ couldn't help a smile, ruffling his hair. "I know."

He gave her a sleepy smile, and then yawned, snuggling down into bed. “Goodnight, mom,” he mumbled.

"Goodnight, baby," JJ murmured. She watched him for a moment, waiting for that slow rise and fall of his chest that meant he was breathing like only the asleep could, and once she was sure he was asleep, she tiptoed out of his room, shutting the door quietly behind her, thanking Spencer in her head.

[mochinomnoms]

i just want to saw that you really cooked with the trey scenario and it’s been on my mind since you posted it. like imagine the banter between the two?? the way i would perceive every interaction i would have with him as condescending especially with his cute, infuriating smirk while he over on the side thinking of how to subtly get your heart (and how to sneak in a few baking puns too). smth smth trey shares a family recipe and we point it out and trey is deflecting hard.

-🪸

Im glad you liked it! I've been working at a bakery for a few weeks now and I was surprised at how little baking I do (which is none). 90% of the job is packaging the goods to sell in the store! So the idea just came to me while at work!

In all good fun, I think Trey would try to poke a bit of fun at you, though he does firmly believe in the superiority of a proper bakery versus a grocery store one. He'll acknowledge that he's biased, but not wrong.

But with the wrong tone and a prefect who woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning, Trey is suddenly met with a one-sided rivalry that he could end with an apology, but...

Well, forgive him for this, but Trey finds it very funny and endearing how offended and angry you get. Especially when your immediate response is to challenge him to a bake off (which you lose, miserably).

It's such a deviation from your usual mannerisms. You're always polite, kind, and attentive, and the fact that he's the only one to rile you up over something that's really so trival is actually a bit fun to him. Trey has had to be a big brother figure for the last few years and regin in Riddle as best as he can, so it's nice to have a bit of fun.

You're just mad that this fedora wearing, broccoli-color haired, 5'11" asshole called your old job "pseudo baking". So what if he's technically right and you didn't bake anything from scratch yourself? That doesn't mean he gets to say it to your face without consequences!

Most of the banter is you giving Trey snide comments and him replying with amused, teasing remarks. Normally he wouldn't let this escalate to the level it's at now, but damn it you're awfully cute and it's actually a bit fun watching you scramble around in the kitchen to make simple cupcakes.

"I know the recipe! I just didn't have to make it since I did a later shift—BUT I still trained for baking stuff you know!"

"Sure. Of course, baking pre-made mixes right?"

"Oh fuck off. 'PRe-MaDe MIxeS—' shut the fuck up!"

"Oh, did I hit a nerve? It's fine if you did, you're a grocery store baker, after all. Sorry, sorry."

"No, you're not! You're fucking smirking! The audacity—I should use this spoon to smack that dumb smirk off your pretty face, you moth—"

You shut up pretty quick after your slip of the tongue, focused on the handwritten recipe card that looks like it's been passed down a few generations at this point. Trey's started to flush pink, though his smile is softer and more fond now, as he continues watching you in silence.

Like I said, he's having fun in his own way. You, on the other hand, are fighting off the heat in your face as you're wondering at what point you started finding his stupid face attractive.

[mariamegale]

#NOT STUFF FROM REALITY TV SHOW WORK OF ART SHOWING UP ON MY DASH#RIGHT AT THE END OF 2024#listen this show was GOOD#the participants deserved better#RYAN deserved fucking better okay#this man---#actually hang the fuck on i'm making this a proper reblogg

sorry, i'm about to take you on a bit of a journey.

so yeah this portrait was made for (or at the very least used for) the first episode of INCREDIBLY late 00s reality contest show Work of Art.

Tell me the producers pointed at Project Runway and said "more of that" without telling me--

Anyway, this show is cringy in all the ways you'd expect a show like this to be cringy, it's a late 00s-early 10s reality contest show about art, requiring artists of vastly different mediums and styles to pump out work in two days based on very different challenges. It's also incredible, and produced some genuinely good and throught-provoking material with relation to art. Take this clip of Ryan from a challenge where they had to work using children's materials:

I love this clip. I love this man, who spoke so increidbly candidly about his experiences with Jehova's and a religiously-enforced messed up family dynamic, as an adult child of a mother who shunned him. I'm not going to pretend that a reality TV show is a good place to confront that, but it stuck with me. Probably because I come from a similar, yet wildly different background, and I see myself in Ryan in more ways than one. It's not the only time this happened on the show, but it's the time that's stuck with me more than most other reality TV moments I've seen. I'm going to try to hunt down a picture of the work he ended up making.

The video above also ends with a nice collection of Ryan's art.

And it's absolutely fucking incredible, so I couldn't reblog this post without adding that to it:

Ryan Schultz died just over a year ago, on December 11, 2023. He was 40 years old.

He was also an incredible artist. His Tumblr - @ryanshultz - is still up. I'm sad I never got the chance to get a print, or even speak to him.

Anyway. Work of Art is just as clichéd as you'd expect it to be, but it's very much worth seeing. There were some incredibly good artists and people on that show, who deserved better than the medium they wer put in.

Ryan Schultz, Self Portrait  with Christmas Lights, 2008.

Oil on canvas, 18 x 36 inches

[5a-alf]

The more i think about my experiences in military school, the more i realize the ravens were probably run similarly (if with a harder lean on the cult part) so i wanted to make a post explaining how quickly and even just how new ravens fell into group mentality.

[[Disclaimer: i think my experiences are like,, quite similar to some of what happened in the nest to the general raven but for them is like upped to 200%. We can argue the army is type of cult but not one as tightly run as the ravens probably were]]

The answer to the first is: pretty quickly. Let's say, a month is enough. After that first month, if you were to take them out of the environment they'd be quickly fine again, but they'd already be familiar with the mentality and would follow it if left in the nest. Different kinds of people react differently to the same conditions, but i do think Tetsuji choose ravens also based on their personalities/character, because each year only 4/5 people got into his team out of the thousand kids that play exy in high school, so he could choose for talent but also for drive and ability to listen to orders ecc. This eliminates the hardest type to break down, which is people who are naturally oppositional (like,,, any fox for example). He's looking for good soldiers.

Then, you are now allowed in this super niche private luxury club; there's only other 3 new people. One of them is now your partner forever and ever. What happens? You give EVERYTHING you have to be better than the other duo. That's only natural, there's a first place and a last place because only two couples are in this race; you need to win. What do you do to get better? You look for guidance in the older people around you. Some will ignore you, some will engage with you, but always with an air of superiority. You yourself are somewhat struck by their presence, as maybe you saw them play on television before, or speak in interviews.. you know of them, and that already puts you a step under them. That's power that they hold over you.

Now. There's rules in the nest. Do you think they were written? Do you believe for a minute that the new ravens were given a brief the first week, to let them know all about what is and isn't allowed? No. The rules are silent. You notice them because you can't miss the punishment that inevitably happens when you break them.

You sit in the wrong chair - someone screams at you.

You use the wrong tshirt - someone beats you up.

Well, now you won't sit it in the chair anymore, or use that tshirt in that specific instance, but you know what else you won't do? Sit in any chair you haven’t sat in before. Wear a tshirt you haven’t yet worn.

It takes that little.

Then with time comes confort. Months go by and now you now most of the rules, you're fine. Then you reach your second year, and there's new people... who will teach them the rules? You. Especially if they sit in the chair that is specifically reserved for second years. That's yours. And you feel you've earned it by making it through the year; that's a rule, isn't it? And you have a lot of pent up anger, because you are juggling school and training and you haven't had a pause in more than a year, you haven't seen your family or your pet or your old friends.

You yell. You beat them up.

The funny thing is, even when you just follow the rules to keep the peace, do it "ironically", to avoid having problems, at some point... it comes naturally. You get more and more comfortable with what you once found wrong, or not even wrong, but probably pretty stupid. Because the thing it: it's easier to oppose things that are glaringly wrong. You don't start teaching a new raven how to prey on kids. You start with something that maybe makes no sense, but also has no consequences, especially moral ones.

Why wluld you fight so hard for a chair. You can have another. It's not even that comfortable. It's not worth being yelled at. Just leave the chair.

And then, slowly, it escalates.

And the more time you spend inside, the more you let go on any of the hangups you had outside, because it genuinely starts to feel as a different world, where different societal rules are in place, and when you literally do no engage with the outside world for years... you forget how it used to be. You forget who you used to be.

Being there rewards you.

The more time passes, the more power you acquire. Now you can even invent new rules, as you like. It goes to your head fast.

There's so much more i can expand on, 1) shared pain 2) what happens after you graduate 3) what roles do the adults have in all of this 4) relationships (yes, same as the ravens, we were also not allowed to have romantic relationships; there were consequences ecc) 5) REHEARSALS AND GROUP MOVEMENT 6) public outings and perception.... and i could go on and on.

Let me know if you want me to expand on anything in particular

[stayteezdreams]

Secret Santa

Plot: For years, someone has been leaving you presents at Christmas, and you never knew who it was. This year, you caught them in the act.

Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi x Gn!Reader (childhood friends > strangers > ???)

Warnings: Mentions of bullying, rumors, classic mean-girl stuff. Brief mention of possible stalker (but its not). Sort of an open-ending but its a happy one.

A/n: I try to write these ahead of time every time, but I always fail (I say the night before the day I post this as I am panicking to write it)

Words: 4.4k

As you laid the familiar Christmas themed blanket out on your couch, you thought back on how you got it.

The first Christmas after you moved into a place on your own, a present appeared at your doorstep. There was no note or tag, so you thought maybe it was a nice neighbor leaving a secret present as a welcoming gift. Inside was the blanket. Large, soft, and in your favorite pattern.

Then the next year, you received a cute stocking full of your favorite candies, and a pair of gloves and a matching scarf.

The year after that, you moved away and assumed the Christmas gifts would stop. So, when another present showed up on your new doorstep that Christmas, you started to grow more than a little concerned. Especially when the present consisted of your favorite band’s new album, and one of your favorite candles only sold at a store near where you grew up.

Asking everyone you knew, no one admitted it was them, but you assumed it had to be one of them. Otherwise, the only other option was a stalker, and you certainly didn't want to entertain that idea.

You had hoped that you would catch them in the act one time, to finally find out once and for all who it was playing secret Santa these past few years. But the presents always appeared when you weren’t home, or they were left over night. The identity of the secret Santa remained a mystery to this day.

When you returned from the grocery store that evening, you feared you missed catching them again, as a large package was sitting at your front door. But relief washed over you when you saw your parents’ name and address at the top.

Inside the package was an array of wrapped presents your parents sent, since you wouldn’t be able to see them until New Years.  

As you took out the packages, as well as various candies and home-made treats, you spotted a familiar photo in a frame you had decorated in class, a wave of melancholy hit you.

A small note from your mother was attached, ‘I found this the other day and thought you might want it.’

The photo was of you and your childhood best friend hugging, you were about eight years old. "Soonyoung." You mumbled his name softly as you smiled. It had been a long time since you had seen him.

Last you heard he got a job at a dance studio in the same city you lived. Which made sense, he was always fond of dancing. And loved to try and force you to like it too. You always wondered if you would run unto him at some point, but the city was pretty big.

Setting the framed photo on your shelf, you smiled, though your chest was a bit heavy as the memories of your last argument with Soonyoung ran through your mind.

You couldn't help but wonder if he thought of you at all, and if he ever did, did he hate you?

As the evening drew in and the sun continued to set at an alarmingly early hour, you cuddled up on the couch and started watching videos on your phone. You only intended to lounge for a while, but as you sunk deeper and deeper into the couch, you never got up. Even as the house grew dark around you, you remained in your spot.

So lost in the videos you were watching, it took a few moments for you to focus on a sound you were hearing somewhere. Finally noticing it again, you paused your video as you held your breath and strained your ears.

Your heart skipped a beat as your gut clenched when you realized it was coming from right outside your front door.

Was it scratching? No. It was more of a rustling noise.

Rising from the couch, you silently slunk to the window, crouching down as you peaked out, heart hammering. Your eyes widened in fear as you flinched at the sight of a person outside your door.

‘Oh God am I being robbed? Should I turn the lights on to scare them away?’

Looking a bit closer, you noticed they had a bag in their hands. A Christmas bag. You almost gasped as you realized it was the person who had been leaving presents the last few years. You finally caught them in the act.

Squinting, you sighed in frustration as you couldn’t make out their face. They were wearing a hoodie over their head and a mask on their face. Slinking to the door, you grabbed the door handle as softly as you could.

‘Should I?’

Nodding to yourself, you took in a breath before you turned the handle and pulled the door open as quickly as you could.

The stranger at your doorstep, fell backwards in surprise as you opened the door, you pointed at them with a yell, “Caught you!”

You expected the hooded figure to be someone you knew, a family member, a friend, a coworker. You expected them to laugh and reveal themselves. But instead, the person froze for a moment, remaining completely silent, before turning and running away.

“Wh- hey, HEY!” Without thinking you ran out your front door and after them.

The stranger glanced back, and upon seeing you chasing them let out a muffled gasp before tripping and nearly falling.

“Come back here!”

You made it about two houses away before you caught up with them as they got themselves caught at the end of the cul-de-sac. With nowhere to go, they tried to outmaneuver you and make it around you, but you managed to grab the bottom of their jacket and yank them towards you.

The momentum was more than you expected as they stumbled back and fell, bringing you with them. You grunted as you fell on your butt before rushing to grab the stranger before they ran off.

Turning them over, they started waving their hands, as if expecting you to beat them up. A voice called out from behind the mask in a desperate plea, “Wait, wait, it’s me!”

“Who is me!?” You asked as you pulled back the hood and pulled down their mask.

Revealing a startled face, you froze as you stared down at them, familiarity and realization watching you. His hair was bleached blonde, and he was older, but he still had the same eyes and the same cute cheeks.

“Soonyoung?” Your voice was soft, as you looked down at him, “SOONYOUNG?” You repeated as the full realization washed over you.

He gave you a strained smile as he waved his raised hand softly. “Hi.”

“You- what? What are you even doing here?” Your voice was full of confusion as you climbed off him.

He swallowed nervously, as he sat up, his breath a bit heavy from running. He started playing with his mask as he avoided looking over at you. “Well, I just- I-“ he was fumbling to find an answer, not sure if he should tell you everything now, or just give an excuse.

Remembering the present he left at your door, you let out a sigh, making him finally look at you. “It was you leaving the presents all this time?”

He nodded softly without speaking.

Reaching out you smacked his arm softly, an action that shot Soonyoung back in time, something he missed.

“Why didn’t you just tell me? Or knock on my door? Why leave them in secret? You know I thought someone might have been stalking me, right?” Your voice became a bit hesitant, “Y-You’re not…are you?”

He suddenly started shaking his head and waving his hands. “No, no I’m not I swear! I just… I wanted to give them to you myself, but you hate me, so….”

You felt your heart clench as guilt and familiar heart ache washed over you. “I don’t hate you Soonyoung.” Your voice was soft, sad, as you rose to stand up.

His eyes followed you, caught on to your words with everything he had. “You don’t?”

“No! No, I never hated you, I just- “looking around, you sighed as you reached out your hand to help him up, “Come on, get up.”

Taking your hand, he swallowed nervously, your words echoing in his mind. You didn’t hate him? But all this time he thought you did.

“If you don’t hate me then why did you leave?”

You almost scoffed but let it go, “You really don’t know?”

He shook his head softly, a familiar pout on his face. The same face of the boy who used to follow you around. The one who promised to marry you when you got excited at a wedding when you were nine. The boy who became your world.

The boy who broke your heart.

You swallowed as a dozen memories flooded over you. You cleared your throat, “It’s cold, I’m going inside. You can come in if you want.”

As you walked away from him, he watched you with a tight chest. The last time he had seen you, you were walking away from him. And you never came back. And it was his fault.  

Back then he didn’t know he should have followed you. He wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

Following you, he remained close, part of him wanting to reach out and take your hand as he often did when you were children. You had always been together, until you weren’t.

It was the first time you felt your heart genuinely ache. Seeing Soonyoung hand in hand with another girl. His new girlfriend. A girl who asked him out and he said yes because he was excited to date when no one else was.

The popular pretty girl. The one the teachers loved. The girl who took your best friend from you.

No more sleepovers, no more hangouts, no more lunches together. Not unless she was there, and if she was, you were invisible.

You knew he was excited about having a girlfriend. He was a freshman and thought it would be the perfect way to start high school. What he didn’t think about was you.

You had always been afraid there would come a time when you and Soonyoung wouldn’t be close anymore. When his family moved houses, you feared it. But he was still by your side every day. Then you were afraid you’d lose touch in college, but you never even made it that far. It was inevitable. And it was heartbreaking.

Truthfully, you had feelings for Soonyoung as soon as you realized what “feelings” were. He was your best friend, and your first love, even if he had no idea, even if he didn’t feel the same. Maybe you should have told him, maybe things would have been different.

The girl he dated was terrible, manipulative and fake. In secret, she would bully you, playing tricks and starting rumors. She even blamed you for things you didn’t do. Petty things like accidentally breaking something, or pranks played on students or teachers.

She was the popular girl with a pretty face, and you weren’t. So, who did they believe?

Not only did she make your first year of high school miserable. But she took Soonyoung from you.

You tried to tell him she was a liar, that she hurt you, but he was so wrapped around her finger that he didn’t believe you. For the first time in ten years, he didn’t believe you. He told you not to lie to him, he told you to be nice to her. He was angry at you. He was never angry with you.

“You’re just jealous I’m in a relationship and you’re not! Just stay away from me if you’re gonna act like this!”

These weren’t his words, and you knew it. It was her. There was no way it wasn’t.

He chose her over you. He told you to stay away from him. So, you did.

“Fine.” That was the last word you spoke to him before you turned and walked away from him, leaving behind your best friend, your first love, your first heartbreak.

It was devastating, and so noticeable that your parents intervened. They found out about the bullying, and the rumors. They figured this was why you were miserable. So, they suggested switching you to another school. They thought you might refuse, not wanting to leave Soonyoung. But you agreed, and you left. And you never saw Soonyoung again.

Soonyoung stared at his clenched hands as you finished speaking. His heart was pounding as guilt rocked him. He knew it was his fault, but he had blocked so much of it out he couldn’t remember all the details. And so much of it he never knew at all.

But you remembered all of it. Of course you did. How could you not?

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled after a few moments of silence. He sniffled a bit as he finally looked at you. You were looking down at your lap, and he didn’t blame you for avoiding his gaze.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, he put his elbows on the table and face in his hands as he groaned. “I’m such an asshole.”

You almost laughed at his sudden reaction but repressed it. Leaning back in his chair again with a sigh, he cleared his throat. Now it was his time to explain what happened next.

“I broke up with her a few months after you left.”

Your eyes shot over to him as he spoke, you had always wondered what happened to him, but made yourself stay distant.

“I guess once you had gone, she needed to find someone else to mistreat. I started to notice it more. I wasn’t as focused on her as I was, because… I was always thinking of you.”

Your heart skipped at this, as you looked over at him, heart jolting again as you saw him staring at you.

“I was devastated that you were gone. At first, she comforted me, but it never felt very genuine, then slowly, she started to get angry at me for it. She would say cruel things, and even insulted you. Then she slipped up about starting a rumor and I realized that you had been telling the truth the whole time. She got too comfortable and thought I wouldn’t care what she did. But I did. But I cared too late, I know that. I did the best I could at straightening out the rumors she started. Eventually by our second year she was known as the mean girl, and a lot of people avoided her. She couldn’t stop her true colors from being shown. She failed a lot of classes, and I don’t even think she passed her college exams.”

Listening to him, you did get a sort of satisfaction learning about her fate. The past was the past, but the hurt was still there.

“I wanted to talk to you so badly, but any time I showed up at your house you wouldn’t see me. Then when we graduated high school, you went to a college far away.”

Guilt washed over you as you let out a soft sigh. If you had given in and talked to him, maybe you wouldn’t have gone too long without seeing him.

“I’m sorry.” Soonyoung’s brow shot up as you spoke, “If I had talked to you at least once- “

“Don’t blame yourself! I mean… yeah, I wish you had, but I get why you didn’t. I blocked out the things I said to you that day. But…remembering now… I was so horrible. How could I do that to you? I mean. I was supposed to be your best friend.”

“I was supposed to be yours too. I should have tried harder to convince you about her.”

Silence sat between you for a few moments, as you both thought of what you did and didn’t do. There was guilt and heartbreak on both sides. Equal pain given and taken.

You finally spoke up again when you remembered what triggered this conversation all together “But… why the secret presents?”

“Oh! Oh. Uhm, after I heard from my parents that you graduated and moved back to the city, I really wanted to see you, but I was too scared. They got your new address from your parents and gave it to me. I got you that blanket as a housewarming gift, but when I got to your house, I got too scared, and I chickened out.” He let out an awkward laugh, “Then I just kept doing it. It was my way of being around, without really being around, you know?”

You nodded but remained silent, chewing on your lips as so many thoughts and questions crossed your mind. It was a habit Soonyoung noticed when you were kids, seeing that you still did it made him smile. He didn’t force you to speak or react as he sat there, thinking over what you had told him.

One detail he kept going back to made him smile as his heart raced. “So…you liked me?”

You froze in all your movements as you slowly looked over at him, seeing him repressing a grin. Why did you have to include that detail? Yes, it was an important part of why you were so hurt by him, but he was Soonyoung after all. And he most certainly would not be letting this go.

Groaning as you threw back your head, you heard him giggle and your heart raced, ‘uh-oh’. As he leaned forward like he was going to interrogate you, you shook your head, “Shut up. It was just a stupid childhood crush!”

He shook his head, his tone much less teasing than you expected, “I don’t think it’s stupid.” He seemed to think about something for a moment before he leaned a bit closer and spoke hesitantly. “I liked you too.”

You blinked in surprise, “What?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I mean. After you left, and I realized you were really gone, I started to think about how I felt when dating you-know-who versus when I was with you. I realized my feelings for you had been different. A good different, though. And the longer you were gone, the more I realized how I felt. But I think I refused to acknowledge them on purpose. I mean, you were already gone, so what was the point? But, yeah, I liked you too.”

As he rambled, your heart raced, and your neck grew hot. Why was this confession affecting you so much now? It had been ten years, surely those feelings were gone now. Right?

“I- uh, hmm.” You really weren’t sure how to respond, stunned by his acknowledgment of his past feelings.

Soonyoung smiled as he leaned forward, catching your eye. He had a somewhat tentative tone in his voice as he spoke, “Should we date?”

You nearly choked on your spit as you leaned forward, shock obvious on your face. You let out a bewildered laugh. “What?!”

“Come on! We both liked each other!”

You laughed again, but it held more bewilderment than humor. “Yeah, liked, as in past tense!”

He hummed under his breath, “But is it really?”

You stared at him in silence as you swallowed harshly, your heart pounding nonstop. “What? Of course it is.”

His smile turned into a familiar grin, “I recognize that tone, you’re not sure, are you? You still like me!”

You reached out and smacked at him again, “I do not! You’re being ridiculous. It’s been ten years!”

“But that’s even better then, isn’t it?! It means they’re real. More real than just a childhood crush.”

You sighed and shook your head, covering your face with your hands as you grew overwhelmed. With embarrassment or shock you weren’t sure.

You jumped ever so slightly when you felt him gently grab your wrists. Pulling your hands away from your face, you met his gaze. “I wasn’t sure just how much I liked you in the past, but I know now those feelings have only grown. You know, like that saying, distance makes the heart grow stronger.”

“Wh- are you saying, you still- “

“Like you?” He finished for you, before he nodded with a cheeky smile. “You’re right. It’s been ten years. We aren’t kids anymore. I know better now what these feelings are. I can recognize them better than I could back then. I won’t miss it this time.”

Letting your hands go, you watched as he reached down, before setting the bag he had brought in front of you. Sliding it in front of you, he spoke softly, “I was actually planning on letting you know it was me that was leaving the presents, with this.”

Hesitantly, you reached into the bag and pulled out the contents. Your heart swelled as you laid eyes on the teddy bear you had given him when you were kids. You had tied a note around its wrist and left it at his doorstep.

His family had just moved in next door, so you left him the bear and a letter introducing yourself and asking him if he wanted to be friends. The next day he showed up with his parents, and you had been inseparable since.

Around the bear’s wrist was a letter tied to it, just like how you had done so long ago.

Taking the letter off and opening it, you spared Soonyoung a look and saw him picking nervously at his nails.

‘Y/n,

I guess it’s time to finally give up this secret gift thing, it’s been four years now. I always want to knock on your door and give you the gifts yourself, but I’m a coward. You know I always have been. I hope you liked the gifts, and I hope I don’t ruin them by telling you it was me who left them.

It’s been so long since we talked, I can’t even remember the sound of your voice. Do you remember mine? I never thought there would come a time when we would stop speaking, but it happened, and I regret it every day.

I don’t know if you will feel anything when reading this. But I just wanted to let you know I think of you every day. I always have, ever since you left. And every day I feel more and more regret for letting you go, and never fighting to get you back.

The more time passed the harder it became. I felt like if I saw you, and you saw me, you would glare at me, or curse at me, or ignore me like you didn’t know me at all. That last one scares me the most. Even if we are strangers, I still hope you remember me. I think I would die if you forgot me.

I never had the courage to acknowledge how I felt about you back then. But I think I might gain some closure if I tell you at least once. Even if I am too big of a coward to tell you to your face.

You weren’t just my best friend, or my other half. You were my first love. I know that now. Too late, I know. But I hope, maybe, just maybe, that the knowledge that I never hated you, might make whatever heartache I caused you, lessen, at least a little.

I’ll leave my number at the bottom of this letter. In case you want to reach out. You don’t have to, and I won’t blame you if you don’t. But just know. I am here. I was always here. And if you ever need me, I’m just a call away.

-Soonyoung. P.S. I miss you.

As you read his letter, you hadn’t even realized you had started crying. Not until he reached out and gently swiped away a tear with his thumb.

Looking up, he smiled softly at you, a fond gaze you used to dream about seeing again.

“See? Those feelings are still there, aren’t they?” His tone wasn’t teasing, but genuine, and loving. You noticed the beginning of tears brimming his own eyes as well.

Nodding silently at his question, his smile turned into a grin.

Getting out of his chair, he knelt on his knees beside you as he held your hands. Looking up into your face he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I made you think you weren’t important to me back them. I’m sorry I was weak minded. I’m sorry I never sought you out, to make it right. I’m sorry it took me too long to realize you had been the most important thing in my life. I chased you away, I know that. And…I’m sorry I ran when you opened the door, but honestly you scared the shit out of me.”

You let out a bubbly laugh as he chuckled.

He squeezed your hands before continuing. “Please, let me make it up to you. I don’t want to start over, because I don’t want to forget what we used to be. But maybe we can start again from here?”

You swallowed back your emotions, uncertainly fading as you started to let go of the reservations you had held onto back then. He was right earlier; you weren’t children anymore. Maybe these feelings aren’t childish. Maybe they are real. Maybe you should try.

Taking in a soft breath, you nodded, “Alright. Let’s start again, here.”

He grinned up at you, letting out a shaky breath as his fear of rejection was replaced by relief and joy. Bringing your hand to his mouth, he pressed a kiss to your knuckles, making you giggle. Tugging your arms a bit, he spoke with an excited, yes soft tone.

“How about we have a sleepover? Like old times. We can properly catch up and maybe…”

You rose one of your brows before narrowing your eyes, “And?”

“Aaandd, maybe cuddle? Just a little?”

You bit back a laugh, but it escaped as he pleaded with his eyes. You cleared your throat as you tried to push back the growing bashful butterflies. “Don’t push your luck.”

He pouted, but it was quickly replaced by another smile as he suddenly yanked you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you returned the embrace, emotions overwhelming but welcomed.

As he cupped the back of your head, he spoke softly, though his voice held countless emotions. “I missed you so much.”

You clenched your eyes shut as you squeezed him harder, letting out a soft breath as your heart swelled. “I missed you too.”

xx End xx

For having panic wrote this at nearly midnight before posting it, I'm pretty happy with how this came out!

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[pixiedust4000]

Nap Time 😴

“Keep in mind that I’m an artist… and I’m sensitive about my ish… so y’all be nice about.”

-Motha Badu 💕

Just something I cooked up… hella short but pretty cute… lemme know what yall think !! 💕💕

Watch video first…

“That's it, your turn.” a tired and defeated Arias walked into her husband's office, she had been trying to get their two-year-old down for a nap for the past 10 minutes, and while approaching the “try again tomorrow” mark for nap time. Aria believed that it was time to call in reinforcement. 

Roman chuckled from the other side of his desk, “Giving up already baby.” He questioned fully aware of the answer given that he had watched the chaos unfold through the baby cam placed on his laptop. He had attended to finishing up on some work before his wife returned from placing their daughter down for a nap. A task that normally didn't take that long, yet recently the toddler had other plans for her mother. Which promoted him to check in on the duo when Aria hadn't returned.

“Don't patronize me Joseph.” she shot a glare towards him before plopping down on the couch adjacent to the desk, “I swear ever since you've been home, she fights her nap time…every.single.day.”

With faux offense, Roman replied with a playful smirk on his face, “So this my fault?”

“Absolutely!” Aria replied without hesitation, “How many times have you said, “Missing a nap today won't hurt?” she mocked “How many?”

“Ok, okay,” his hands went up in defense as he stood from the desk, making his way over to his overwhelmed wife, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head, “I’ll fix it.” 

“Good luck,” she mumbled her 

“Have faith in your man baby.”

“You don't know baby d, that's why you're smiling and playing right now…cause you don't know baby d,” Aria complained as she laid down for a moment's rest as her husband left the room shaking his head at her antics. As much as she loved and enjoyed her husband being home for his much-earned break, a very small part of her said differently. Roman is a great father Aria couldn't think of a better father for their daughter Xiomara. It was just that the 2-year-old had her father wrapped around her finger the moment she entered the world. Hence why they were where they were now. Instead of telling the toddler it was nap time, he would ask if she wanted to take a nap. Though Xiomara was only two, the child was far from naive. All it took was for Roman to hear his baby girl say no one time and nap time was indeed out the window. 

Aria wasn't sure how much time had gone by, or when she had fallen asleep, yet the moment she heard, “Hi Mommy,” her eyes flew open coming face to face with her round face, messy curls, paci secured within her teeth daughter, “Hi mommy.” she smiled

“What…” she quickly sat up, her eyes scanning the room for Roman. “Where Dada Toots?” 

“Dada..” Xiomara babbled as she pointed towards the door.

Picking her toddler up, Aria made her way over to the laptop, with a few clicks she was able to find the man in question, “I swear this man…” she chuckled to herself as with a head shake, “Seems like you put Dada down for a nap instead Toots.” 

Xiomara clapped her hands in response, giggles filling the room…

Aria smiled, “We can try again tomorrow.. I'll just make sure to supervise Daddy as well.”

Welp I did it!

Finally posted something, please leave a comment, like, or reblog please and thank you 💕♥️

@sayyestoheav3nn

[stark-ironman]

Hi again I was wondering if you could do another Hugh jackman x reader age gap where they spend their first Christmas together in new york also another Christmas one where it's their baby's first Christmas 🤍

Christmas

A/N: First off, merry Christmas everyone! Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been a depressed, manic mess for the past month and a half. This is a small drabble since I'm trying to get back on my feet and write again so I hope you enjoy it 😊

The first snow of the year happens to fall on Christmas day and you're sitting a lounge chair wrapped in your favorite blanket, watching the snow cover New York. It's early in the morning, your husband and one year old son are fast asleep in the bed while you enjoy the few moments of peace.

You've already lit the tree and made sure all of the presents are set up, ready for your busy little one and your 56 year old one to make a mess with. Hugh has been nothing short of an amazing father, which you knew he would be but he had anxiety about having another child when you two had found out you was carrying.

"You're up early, darling." Hugh voice sounds from the doorway, smiling softly at you as he walks over to you. He snuggles beside you and sets the baby monitor in his lap, wrapping his arm around you. "I set up his presents and his little vehicles up so he wouldn't get overwhelmed." You lay your head on his shoulder, feeling him kiss the top of your head softly.

"How about I make us some coffee?" Hugh asks, feeling you perk up at the suggestion. "You just know me so well." You chuckle, hearing Hugh laugh as he stands up, kissing you softly before heading to the kitchen. You glance over at him, smiling when you notice he's still wearing the matching pajamas you bought for the two of you and the kids even though they're not here yet.

Movement catches your eye on the monitor and you see your son moving around so you get up and walk to the bedroom, greeting him with a smile and a kiss before changing him and walking him out of the bedroom.

"Dada." He calls out, his eyes lighting up when Hugh comes around the corner with his arms stretched out. "There's my boy." Hugh says picking him up and ruffling his dark hair. His arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you close and you both enjoy the moment before your child points at the presents.

"Go show mama what you see. I'll go get you a bottle ready." He says, handing him over to you before waking back into the kitchen. You set your son down, letting him run over to the tree and excitedly point at all the presents. "Here," You show him how to rip open the present, watching him rip it open quickly before rushing off to the next one and Hugh sits beside you, handing you your coffee.

The two of you help your son open present after present, chuckling at his reactions and when he's distracted with one toy, Hugh hands you a couple of presents so you hand him the ones you bought. He bought you two new books, a new griddle you've talked about getting, and a necklace.

You bought him a watch that is engraved with his kids names, a new pair of running shoes and a few coffee mugs. Hugh kisses you, holding you close as your child runs around the apartment, leaving a trail of wrapping paper behind him as he goes but you smile, knowing you wouldn't change this life for anything.

[sufferu]

Out of all of your IFs, which Subaru is having the best Christmas?

Pffft, alright that’s fun. I’ll keep this limited to the ones that are significantly different from canon:

Crusch IF: Assuming this is post-Whale and not that crack fic prompt I wrote last year, it’s…honestly it’s a pretty good Christmas. He’s practically the darling of the Crusch Camp at this point, so like at least half of those people have decided to get him at least something small. This is especially the case since they still haven’t actually publicly acknowledged his contribution to the Whale/Sloth fight due to him being in no condition to receive that sort of recognition, and even though that was absolutely the kindest thing they could have done at the moment a lot of them STILL feel pretty guilty about it. Then there are people like Crusch, Wilhelm, Ferris, Julius, Reinhard, the Pearlbaton triplets, Ricardo, Joshua, Emilia, etc. who actually have a personal relationship with him of some sort and very much want to help this psychotic mess that he’s devolved into regain some semblance of holiday spirit. —Plus, if we’re taking that crack fic as canon, them celebrating Christmas this year is in and of itself a bit of an inside joke and a way to try and nudge him into participating in something that he’s already demonstrated a level of real joy towards.

Of course, from Subaru’s POV he’s still surrounded by all his murderers/living echoes of the loved ones he watched die fuck knows how many times, so. There’s that. But…this is a level of genuine affection that’s actually genuinely difficult to misunderstand as a threat, so…there’s a good chance it actually breaks through after all.

If it does go well, then Subaru is both incredibly touched and also mortified at the realization that he didn’t get anyone any presents. Everyone points out that they didn’t get HIM anything last year, so, it kind of evens out. He probably cries. When he sits down to eat with everyone, it’s the first time in months he can actually taste his meal.

Back to Zero IF: …Look. They TRIED. They really, REALLY tried. But everything went to hell at some point or another — the meal got completely fucked up, a bunch of gifts got destroyed, someone set the tree on fire, another Mabeast somehow got loose across the Estate — and now they’re all scrambling to make sure they don’t somehow murder Subaru via this abomination borne from the holiday spirit. Julius shoves a handful of snow down the back of his shirt at one point in an attempt to cheer him up. At one point they take their eyes off of him and he falls into freezing water, and now he gets to spend the rest of the season bedridden with a really bad cold while Wilhelm angrily berates the poor landscapers about the pond that everyone had previously thought couldn’t possibly kill anyone. Subaru is not having a great Christmas.

Nect Reveal IF: Julius wanted to do something nice for him, and also Subaru is apparently just a couple months old and therefore the baby of the Anastasia Camp. It’s not as over the top as Crusch IF but everyone is having fun. The Pearlbatons have decided that Subaru makes for the best chair, whether he wants to be a chair or not. He’s not as annoyed by this as he pretends to be and everyone knows it.

Runaway IF: Assuming that Subaru actually figures out the date, he manages to celebrate by stealing a little more bread than usual — and even some berries! He looks so pathetic that the shopkeeper just lets him, even though he really could have stopped him very easily. Holiday spirit for the win I guess.

House Arrest IF: Absolute chaos. Tonchinkan, Subaru, and Felt all set the Astrea Manor on fire somehow while they were trying to put together a holiday surprise for the rest of the camp. It was Subaru’s idea, and the other four are going to be very loud about that fact once Reinhard gets back from running errands.

Nameless Wanderer IF: Schwartz and Julius are going on a date. Neither of them realize that this is a date.

[bomberqueen17]

chapter update: not a crest chapter 5

So ok the thing is, I had written and edited and proofread a different chapter 5, and reread it yesterday preparatory to posting it, and then realized that... it's a wonderful little atmospheric chapter but nothing plot-relevant actually happens.

so i'm going to post it as a bonus holiday extra at some point and instead i posted the next chapter as chapter 5, because the plot actually advances and i'm trying to improve my pacing somewhat.

There is one solitary line that references the events of the now-apocryphal former chapter 5 which i shall post soon enough, and it is slightly confusing without that chapter already existing, but I'm leaving it in as an easter egg rather than removing it, and we shall see who notices it LOL.

So the thing is that when I took my unintentional hiatus this summer/fall, I had a bunch of stuff already written but not organized, and some of that stuff I had actually written like two years ago, and now that I've banged that into shape, I'm off the end of the stuff I've been actively planning for years, and now I'm into the And Then The Fun Happens part, which I would not let myself prewrite, but that means it's not already written. So it's -- well, pacing is never my strong suit, really, and it's only more challenging when I don't have some scenes already in the bag. Stringing prewritten scenes together is hard in one way, and writing out what I previously only had as Vibes is hard in a different way. I'm not complaining I'm just saying, LOL.

ANYHOW

in this chapter, which is now

chapter 5, on AO3

we get Lu snoring like a pug dog and Morvran admitting sleepily that he's not great at gender roles

“I’ll have you know,” Morvran said, slouching deeper in the armchair and putting his hands over his face, “that I spent years believing that I would someday be the one to carry a child. If I am tired and distracted enough I still could probably be convinced that I could.” “Did you really,” Ciri said. “I was unclear on… certain biological realities when I was a very young child,” Morvran said, peeking out from behind his hands. “I shouldn’t just admit that, though, should I? I sound mad. In my defense I was five or… well, six or seven actually, now that I count it out. Which is too old for that sort of confusion but in my defense I was very invested in my little brother’s impending existence.” “Oh no,” Lu said. “Morvran, that’s the cutest anyone has ever been.”

[demigod-shenanigans]

Hey! I saw your recent Grace Siblings angst post and I really enjoyed it. I was also wondering if you had anything else on them? It could be happy or sad headcanons

Ask and you shall receive! Most of these are at least kind of sad (not all though) so I feel like I now owe y’all a happy Grace siblings hc post at some point in the future

-Jason’s first word was “Lia” (because baby Jason couldn’t pronounce Thalia yet). Thalia never got over that.

-His second word was “no”. Beryl was “no” basically exclusively for three months. That made Thalia almost prouder than his first word did lmao

-When Beryl left him at the Wolf House, Jason wasn’t super alarmed at first. His mom leaving him somewhere and walking away/not being around isn’t super unusual. He only started freaking out after some time passed and he realized Thalia wasn’t coming to get him. (Absolutely crushing fic that my friend wrote which features a related concept can be found here, if you’d like to be even more sad :))

-Luke was the only person Thalia ever told about Jason. It did not help his general opinion of the gods. 

-There’s a canonical short story where Thalia is given a prophecy that she’ll be reunited with her family (and, specifically, that this doesn’t mean her mom). Her and Luke meet Annabeth right after, and I’m pretty sure Thalia thought she was Jason at first glance. She’s almost the right age, and they look similar.

-When Thalia was dying (before Zeus turned her into a tree), she assumed the being reunited with her family-prophecy meant she’d get to see her brother again in Elysium.

-Thalia definitely struggles to think of the two year old brother she lost and the fifteen year old brother she gets back as the same person. (This is made infinitely worse by the fact that their age difference is only two years now, instead of the seven it’s supposed to be.) Thalia knows that they are, objectively, the same person, but the Jason she remembers was small and fragile and needed her help to do basically everything. Seeing him now as a teenager who learned not to need her at all… it brings her a lot of joy because she thought she’d never get that, but she definitely also struggles with it a lot.

-For the above reason, I feel like she’s wildly overprotective of him. Jason, who was raised to succeed and fail on his own strength, does not know how to handle this. It’s bizarre in the same way that the concept of Leo and Piper trying to protect him is, so this isn’t an isolated Thalia issue.

-Jason gets anxious when people are mad at him. This should be a terrible combination with Thalia’s short fuse, but it isn’t. The reason for that is the fact that Jason’s anxiety surrounding people’s anger is rooted in his fundamental belief that love is a thing that needs to be earned and will be taken away from him if he isn’t perfect. He can’t explain why, but it’s never felt that way with Thalia. He just knows instinctually that she still loves him, even when she’s mad at him.

-Thalia was the first person Jason cried in front of in years. This just feels right to me.

-They’re not sure which one of them feels weirder when Jason turns sixteen and is now technically sort of older than her. Thalia ruffles his hair and tells him she’s always going to be his big sister, regardless of whether she’s physically older.

[flightlessangelwings]

The Prospector, The Merc and The Treasure Hunter

Ezra x fem!reader x Pero Tovar

Word count-1.5k

Warnings- bisexual mmf thruple, space adventures, kidnapping, minor violence, implied smut, protectiveness, Tovar in the Prospect universe, no use of y/n, no physical description of reader

Notes- Happy holidays @bonezone44 I'm your secret Santa!! Thank you @pedrostories for organizing this event again this year! This was something different and fun to write and I hope you enjoy!!

@flightlessangelwings-updates is my update blog so please follow that and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on when I post new things!

~

“Not here,” Tovar grunted as he sliced down the last mercenary.

“Damn,” Ezra cursed under his breath as he pulled his own knife from the man he just cut down, “This ship is a maze worse than the deepest jungles.”

Tovar scoffed as he turned and looked down the hall, “She has to be here somewhere.”

The desperation was evident in his voice, as much as he tried to hide it. Ezra got good at reading his signs over the past few months, and his own nerves crept up his back too. What was supposed to be an easy treasure hunt turned into a trap, and you ended up taken from their grasp. As much as both men tried to stop them, the mercenaries were too quick, and before they could react, you were gone.

Suddenly the treasure the three of you sought after didn’t matter to the two men. All they cared about was getting you back and having the three of you together again- a team.

“She has strength that neither of us have,” Ezra tried to offer a comfort as he stepped closer, “She’ll be alright.”

“She better be,” Tovar growled as he stared at his companion. As he looked into the soft brown eyes framed by the soft brown hair and just the hint of blonde, his shoulders released the tension they held. Something about this man brought out a tenderness in the merc that no one had done  before. Between you and Ezra, Tovar was a goner before he even realised it. 

Ezra reached for him and grabbed his arm, giving it a single squeeze in a silent gesture that both men understood perfectly. He even managed to pull a flash of a grin from his companion, which made Ezra’s heart pound in his chest. 

But now was not the time for romance and feelings. Now, they had to save you; they had to get you back. Ezra let out a deep breath as he sheathed his knife and moved to the control panel that sat on the far wall. “Let us see…” he mumbled more to himself than to Tovar as he scanned the screens. 

Tovar moved behind him, watching the prospector as he clicked through the controls. His gaze lingered on Ezra for several moments as he watched his fingers move nimbly across the keys. Clearing his throat, Tovar scanned the room, keenly aware of the exits and ready to strike should any other enemies burst through the door. It wasn’t until Ezra let out a howl of excitement that he snapped his head back, “What is it?”

“I believe I found her,” Ezra breathed as he turned to Tovar, “There,” he pointed to the end of a long hallway on the other end of the ship.

“Good work,” Tovar said through gritted teeth as he tapped Ezra’s shoulder, “Let’s go.”

Ezra nodded as he grabbed his weapon once more, “We’re coming, Flower,” he muttered to himself. 

The two of them ran as fast as they could down the cold and dark hallway of the ship. This group of mercenaries had a bigger and nicer ship than they had, but it didn’t matter to them. Their old, rusty, dusty ship was home, and it was only home because the three of them were there together. Exploring the stars and hunting for treasure together was a life that was perfect for all three of you. And things wouldn’t be right until Tovar and Ezra got you back and the three of you were a team again.

They weren’t alone, though, and the moment they turned down the hallway where Ezra said you were being kept, they were met with a new group of enemies. And they looked dangerous.

“Ten men,” Tovar grumbled.

“We can take them,” Ezra sounded confident as he pulled out his blaster, “Ready, Cactus?” he smirked.

Tovar scoffed as he pulled out his own blade, “You know I hate that name,” he replied with a hint of a grin of his own.

“I know,” Ezra quipped back before they both launched themselves at the group of mercenaries.

The hallway turned into an explosion of gunfire and clashes of swords. Ezra stayed on the perimeter to cover for Tovar as he lashed out at the group of men. With ease, the merc sliced through one after the other, barely breaking a sweat. Ezra concentrated his fire, careful not to hit his companion while taking the enemies down.

As Tovar’s sword clanged with one of the larger men, another snuck up behind him. He gritted his teeth as he fought him off, parrying every hit he swung at him. Ezra kept glancing back at the two of them, all too aware of the looming threat to one of his partners. Just as the lurker raised his sword to stab Tovar in the back, Ezra knocked down the man he wrestled with just in time to fire at the enemy, knocking him down to the ground.

“Good shot,” Tovar growled as he knocked his opponent out before stabbing him.

“Good hit,” Ezra responded back with a cheer in his tone.

The two men were alone once more, piles of bodies lining the floor around them. They panted, exhausted from their strenuous search. But, they knew it would be worth it as long as you were on the other side of the locked door in front of them.

“This one,” Ezra said as he approached the door, “Be ready,” he added as he worked the lock.

“I’m ready,” Tovar grunted as he tightened his grip on his sword. Maker help anyone who dared to hurt you.

“There,” Ezra exhaled as he got the door open. Quickly, he grabbed his gun once more, readying himself for another fight. Together, the two men bolted through the door, weapons in hand and muscles tensed.

But both Ezra and Tovar’s mouths dropped open when they saw what greeted him behind the cell door.

“It’s about time you boys showed up,” you grinned as you sat on the bench in the cell. You weren’t alone in there, but no one was a threat to you. Not anymore. Three more mercs laid on the floor, fallen to you. You saw the shocked looks on their faces and couldn’t help but laugh, “What?” you shrugged your shoulders, “I’m not helpless, you know,” you paused, “Even If they did manage to sneak up on me once.”

“Their mistake,” Tovar huffed as relief washed over him.

Ezra nodded, “Shall we take you home now, flower?”

You sighed as your features softened, “That sounds wonderful.”

*

The stars illuminated the tiny room you, Ezra and Tovar shared on your little, old ship. The three of you laid tangled together on the uncomfortable bed with nothing but sweat on your bodies and evidence of hours of passion. You couldn’t remember how long you all spent together, and you almost couldn’t remember a time when you weren’t with the two men. But, now that you were all reunited, everything was perfect again.

“Are you sure you’re alright, flower?” Ezra asked as he cupped your face, searching for any sign of pain.

“I’m fine, Ezra, really,” You reassured him with a tender kiss on his lips. From the other side of you, a grunt called your attention. Smiling into your kiss, you broke away before turning to Tovar and kissed him just as deeply.

“Our cactus was worried about you,” Ezra jested.

Tovar grumbled into your kiss before he broke away, “I…” his brows furrowed, ready to deny any allegations that he had feelings. But, watching you and Ezra stare at him, his resolve melted, “I hadn’t had a fear like that before, tesoro,” he admitted in a low tone.

You smiled as you cradled his jaw, feeling the stuff under your palm, “Is our mercenary growing a heart, I wonder?” you teased.

“Ay meirda,” Tovar spat, but he couldn’t help the smirk on his face as you and Ezra laughed together.

Ezra watched as the two of you shared a special moment. He savored nights like this, where it was just the three of you together under the stars. Committing the image to memory in his head, Ezra sighed, “A prospector, a mercenary and a treasure hunter,” he muttered, “What a team we are.”

You turned back to him, both you and Tovar meeting his gaze, “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” you said as you pulled them both in and settled back down onto the bed. Ezra and Tovar wrapped their arms around you, holding each other while keeping you in between them. Together, you all made yourself comfortable on the bed made for two.

But, you broke the comfortable silence, “Thank you,” you whispered, “For coming after me.”

“We will always come for you, flower,” Ezra replied as he kissed your forehead.

“Even if you can be a pain in the ass sometimes,” Tovar chimed in with a kiss of his own.

You reached for their lips with your own, clumsily kissing both of your boys at the same time. A giggle escaped your throat as you laughed at the bumbling way you tried to kiss them both at the same time. Adventure could wait for now. For now, this was all you wanted, all you needed. 

[daaehq]

Landoscar Christmas WIP - Just Like the Movies

This has been on my mind for months but I simply don't have enough time to develop this further which,, sucks. Anyway! Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and happy holidays for everyone!

Please let me know **kindly** if there is any spelling mistakes. I'm pretty stressed out and I don't think I can handle harsh criticism today, or ever. (lol)

Landoscar / 2.6k words / Inspired by Hallmark moves + my old post from my old acc / not beta read / Original!male!character / TW: toxic behaviour(Making someone cut off their friends), cheating(Not between the main characters)

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

Lando yells over the phone. He is inside the comfort of his office but everyone outside seems to notice his rage. He could most definitely murder someone right now. He hasn’t felt this angry in a minute and it must show. Everything at work went incredibly smoothly for the holiday season so obviously something had to go wrong.

“I’m sorry! It’s just- I had something come up last minute.”

“Mark, we are going on this vacation because you insisted. I was fine- no, I wanted to stay in London for Christmas. I practically broke my parents’ hearts because you wanted to go to a fucking tree farm.”

“Come on, you know how important my job is-”

“Are you implying that our promise means less than taking a client?” Lando knows that argument is flawed and unfair but screw Mark and his workaholic tendencies. This isn’t the first time he broke off a commitment to go and mingle with a client, both professionally and literally. 

People like to paint Lando as this dumbass who has zero understanding of his surroundings but he is a silent observer. Although the fact that Mark screws any client that blinks in his direction is so obvious to the point a person living four hundred and eighty-one miles away can probably detect it. Lando kept his mouth shut from October, mainly because of the fact he hates spending Christmas alone. Back in university, he would spend it with Oscar and before Mark, he would spend it with George and Alex but ever since they got together, it’s been awkward being their third wheel at most events. It was definitely a relief when he got himself a boyfriend to spend Christmas with.

“Lando, that’s not fair!”

“You ditching our planned date for the fourteenth time this year is not fair.”

“Please? I’ll make it there as soon as I can. Just, this is really important to me. I told you all about this case! I have to help Barbara,” Mark pleads and it just makes Lando scoff. So this new girl is called Barbara. He genuinely does not give a shit.

“You know what? Fine! Please, spend your Christmas with whoever this Barbara is. As a matter of fact, please don’t even fucking come, I would love to spend some time alone at the fucking farm where I made the reservations. I don’t see a problem in taking your name off the list.”

“Lando please, can you calm down for a second?”

Mark saying that was more than enough to send Lando off the edges. Who the fuck does he think he is, telling him to ‘calm down’?

“I’m hanging up. Unlike you, I have somewhere to go this holiday season.”

“Please, can we just talk like adults here?”

Lando stays silent on the line, fighting back the tears that form around his eyes. He knows that Mark is a serial cheater who uses him to spend time and disappears when he doesn’t need him. It still doesn't change the fact that he really, really did like Mark and was most definitely in love with him for a time. Now, he doesn’t know.

“We’re done, Mark. This can’t go on like this any longer.”

“Lando, please. You’re being irrational again.”

“Good! Either I’m calm and insane or irrational and sane. I choose the latter.”

“Lando, just listen to me!”

“No, you listen to me! We are done!”

“Lando, I swear to-”

Lando hangs up the call without hearing the end of Mark’s sentence. He can feel tears drop down his face and it hurts just a little. 

When George walks into his office, he is basically a ball on the floor, his arms around his legs and just waddling about. 

“Oh my god Lando! Get off the floor!”

“Fuck you, George.”

George rolls his huge eyes and grabs Lando from the back and puts him back on his feet. He sniffs his sorrow and stares at George. 

“What happened? Everyone on the floor heard you scream over the phone, Is it the idiot lawyer again? I told you to break up with-”

“He’s not joining me for the Christmas trip.”

“What?” Alex yells from outside his door. Now everyone in the office is actively looking at Alex who just screamed, George who has his arms around Lando, and Lando with puffy eyes and sniffling nose. 

“Sorry, what do you mean he isn’t joining you? I thought it was his idea to go on that trip,” Alex asks, quieter than before. 

“He has a client to look out for this Christmas, so I called it off. We’re done,” Lando says, feeling his voice quiver just a little.

“Holy shit.”

“Bloody hell.”

“Yup.”

“What are you going to do? You know you should just cancel the thing and spend Christmas with your family instead.”

“They’re going on a trip together to Australia this year. I told them to book without me because, well” Lando gestures to the air just to emphasize he had someone to go on a holiday trip with just a few moments ago.

“You can spend it with me and George! You know, we’re having a double date, Logan with me and Lewis with George. We’re thinking about going to-”

“Alex! Shut the fuck up,” George says, cutting Alex’s sentence. Alex’s face goes just a little pale when he realizes what he has done. Lando just glares at him with murderous urges inside of him.

“Sorry,” he says quietly, patting Lando on the shoulders. Lando flips him off, also quietly.

“I’m just gonna go alone. Spend time with the trees, wallow about the fact that my ex and I broke up literally days before Christmas because he was a workaholic who would rather spend time working than with me,” Lando says. He sounds much more sarcastic than he anticipated. He’s glad that it at least hides the hurt in his voice. 

“Seriously?”

“Yup! Fuck Mark. I was gonna dump him anyway.”

“This is the thirteenth time this year that you’ve said that.”

“And I’ve done it this time!”

George sighs and shakes his head in disbelief. Lando can’t defend himself any further- because it’s true. He has said he would break it off with Mark a thousand times throughout their entire relationship. He couldn't help that he was indecisive about it. Now it’s all done and he is finally free from all of this. 

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

The car ride to the farm was calmer than he had anticipated. He and Mark would always start a fight during road trips- about the smallest things there could possibly be. From each other's clothing choices to the food they chose to eat, they kept fighting and fighting until they just both stopped talking. It was nice to have some peace and quiet with his Christmas playlist during a long road trip to some random location he’d never heard of before.

When he arrives at his destination, it’s just a small, rural town with almost nothing. No tall buildings, no people running into each other with coffees in their hands, it’s rather empty. Usually, Lando would hate being alone but strangely enough, he doesn’t mind it.

He waits for someone to pick him up like they said they would in their pamphlet. The farm is far away enough to not have a proper road going in. Lando hates walking but the air feels different. Freezing cold, but refreshing as well. Something is rather magical about this place and he can’t exactly pinpoint what. 

“Lando?”

A not-so-American accent calls for his name from his back. He turns to find a guy a bit taller than him. Nice, soft-looking brown hair seems to fall perfectly around his face and his eyes look so comforting he thinks he can just jump right into it and never come out ever again. He is dressed a little too light for the weather, contrary to Lando who could definitely be considered overdressed despite the freezing weather.

The guy is so familiar but he doesn’t ring a bell immediately. He feels like he’s fallen for those eyes before. Where has he seen him before? Maybe around London? Maybe during the time he spent in New York a few years ago? Maybe during his time in Los Angeles. Maybe in school? 

Oh most definitely in school. How could he ever forget that face of his?

“Oscar? Piastri?”

“It’s been a minute,” Oscar says in his usual flat, dull voice.

He and Oscar graduated from university together. They weren’t exactly in the same department, with Lando studying Marketing and Oscar engineering, but alas they were close. There were some sparks here and there during their time as friends but they never went further than their hands brushing from time to time. 

Oscar was Lando’s first real love. It wasn’t anything like back in school- children mistaking horny interest for love. He enjoyed Oscar’s company, his laugh, his voice, his comforting arms, his dry sense of humour and just everything about him. He was more than devastated when he had learned that Oscar moved back to Melbourne after his study concluded, just days before he had set his mind to confess his feelings. 

Oscar opens his arms for a hug and Lando invites himself back into his arms for the first time in years. His warmth hasn’t changed and neither did the comfort that comes from his embrace. Oscar always felt like home to him, and that seemed to have stayed after all these years. Oscar gives Lando a tight squeeze and Lando can’t lie, he loves it just as much as he did back when they were in university together. 

“It’s good to see you again, Pastry.”

“Same goes for you, Landers.”

After they pulled away from their hug, they started walking towards the farm.

“So, you're a Christmas tree farmer now?”

“Not me, Mark is. He’s my mentor from back in Australia. He made a move to come here sort of recently,” Oscar says. The name Mark, despite not being his Mark, stings just a little. He can’t help but show it on his face.

“Is something wrong?”

“No! No, it’s just- my ex, his name was also Mark.”

“Oh, um, I’m sorry to hear that. Was the breakup recent?”

“It’s not been two full days, so I guess? I was supposed to come here with him but we broke up right before we were supposed to leave.”

Thinking about it, Lando is pretty glad he called it off with Mark. It would’ve been pretty fucking awkward spending the holidays with his boyfriend and his ex-fling. He would much rather spend Christmas with Oscar and his mentor than fight all day and night with Mark. 

“Oh. Again, I’m sorry to hear that.” An awkward silence falls between them. It gets under Lando’s skin. He quickly breaks the silence. 

“Welp! Enough about me. When did you come back to the UK? Are you staying here just for the winter or?”

“I actually moved to London permanently, last September? It’s been a few months.”

Oh!

That is completely fine. Sure, obviously Oscar could have called Lando or texted him to let him know but nope, Oscar Piastri obviously kept that all to himself. He knows it is no longer his business but still, it would’ve been nice to get a phone call from his old friend, emphasis on friend.

“You could’ve called, you know. I would’ve loved to chat”

“I- actually, I did,” Oscar chuckles. Lando does not find that sentence funny because what the fuck?

“What? What- what do you mean you called? I never heard from you since- since you left!”

“Well, I called you the moment I landed in London, ‘cause you know, I wanted to catch up. A guy picked up the phone and told me that the number didn’t belong to you anymore. I didn’t have any of your socials so I couldn’t exactly reach you.”

The whole story sounds just a little too weird because Lando never changed his phone number after Oscar left. There is no way in hell that Oscar got the wrong number because they used to call each other all the time. So either Oscar is an idiot who hadn’t put down his number correctly on his phone, which is unlikely, or, perhaps someone had lied to Oscar. 

Mark.

Fucking Mark.

Fucking Mark! 

One of Mark’s toxic traits was chasing away Lando’s friends. It started with him banning Lando from going to his favourite cafe because the waiter was getting too friendly. When Lando realised the mess of a relationship he had gotten himself into, he barely had anyone to text after a day at work. Mark even tried to make Lando cut off George and Alex but it did not go very well. Mainly because the hatred was mutual and his two friends annoyed the living shit out of Mark until he backed off completely. 

At first, Lando thought he was just dating someone protective and caring. He never realised that his over-protective boyfriend was overflowing his own little need with any girl(or guy) who looked in his direction. Setting up a double standard like it was an Olympic sport. The gold medal for being a manipulative little shit goes to… Mark!

Now Lando is absolutely glad that he had called it all off. 

“That was probably my ex. He used to do that. God, that fucking arsehole! Why did I even date him for three years?”

“You dated him for three years?”

“Don’t call me out on it. I am also regretting it.”

“Well, at least I won't be in front of my mentor Mark. We're here!”

The farm is huge to the point where the word huge could be an understatement. Endless rows of trees are aligned behind a cosy-looking cottage. It’s what you would see in those hallmark movies, where the main character inherits a rundown farm and has to somehow save the damn thing to rescue Christmas. 

“Wow,” Lando mutters quietly. Oscar definitely heard it, considering his adorable little laugh.

“Yup! The place is huge. It’s also pretty shit to clean.”

Oscar reaches for the doorknob and opens the door to the inside. There are so many things about this place that make his mouth drop. From the gigantic tree in the middle of the living room where you can see the entirety of the farm to the open kitchen that is neatly organized.

“Come on, I’ll give you a house tour in a bit. Let’s head to your room,” Oscar says, tugging on Lando’s arm a little. Lando follows Oscar upstairs where all the guest bedrooms seem to be located.

Oscar opens the door to a room at the end of the corridor. Just like everything on this farm, the room is also spacious. It’s nicely decorated with a couple of Christmas-related decors and a bookshelf filled with ancient-looking books. The bedding is red and green, decorated just for the holiday season. Lando wonders if he is dreaming just a little because the room is perfect. 

“You did book a room with king sized bed but if you prefer a smaller one we can arrange-”

“No, this is perfect. What the- this room is incredible.” Lando can’t hide the awe in his tone. The house feels like something out of a movie and he wants to live in this room forever, just staring at the trees with Osc- Lando stops himself from thinking there. 

“I decorated it myself,” Oscar says, blushing just a little bit. He’s always found that incredibly endearing about the younger one. It makes his heart beat just a bit louder than before and now he feels flushed as well. 

“Oscar! Are the guests here?” A man yells from down the stairs. His accent is similar to Oscar’s.

“I’m showing him his room!” Oscar yells back. 

“You ready to head downstairs?”

“I was born ready, Osc.”

[ink-stainedkiss]

Love is So Cruel - Yuji Itadori

Synopsis: Your breakup with Yuji was probably one of the worst memories you can think of, even if you dated when you were both so young. Now, both of you have grow and see each other once again at a Christmas party. Outside, Yuji wants to know why he can’t be happy and have you at the same time…

Sigh, you guys have got to hate me. It’s quite literally Christmas Eve and I’m only gifting you sadness. 🙁 the bad thing is I can't stop because angst hurts so bad, but it makes my frontal lobe develope in the right way. Aways, only one more day till Christmas and I promise I will give you all a real gift. Please feel free to comment and request! I love seeing your ideas❤️

Warnings:None, unless you count sadness as a trigger.

Word count: 1.6k

The wind rushed by. Its coldness makes good bumps rise on your skin at the smallest touch. You could be warm, inside with all of your loved ones and friends. A comforting yellow glow illuminated from the house and the light was so enchanting, but you needed to settle something. At first, the party was great. The food was homemade and delicious. A Christmas movie played in the background, something old and familiar that anyone could sit down and watch. Small games were happening in the dining room, gifts were being passed back and forth, and no one was sure what they would get.

It was a beautiful sight, but you weren’t inside to see it. You stood, in the cold, a light jacket providing no warmth, but how could you care about the weather when he was standing right next to you? Even past the small flurries of snow, his light pink hair showed through, looking as bright as it did all those years ago. There was a cup in his hand that he occasionally sipped at. You didn’t have to guess what was in it. You watched him carefully. He looked so grown. He was taller, his shoulder broader, and his teenage features were nothing but a memory. It seemed just yesterday he was bouncing around the school, excited and so naive to exercise curses.

The job kills. Mentally and physically. You were just some of the ‘lucky’ people who had kept all of their limbs. But you weren’t out here to talk about being successful sorcerers. No. Yuji cleared his throat, not daring to look you in the eyes as he said,” So, you and Megumi look happy.”

You can’t stop the soft smile that melts onto your face. You and Megumi had gotten married a little over five months ago and things were going a lot better than expected,” We are.” You were happy, so so happy, but tonight, as Megumi held onto your hips, you had gotten a glimpse of the boy you loved so long ago. His face was showing an emotion you couldn’t pinpoint.

You understood why he wasn’t exactly thrilled that you were dating one of his closest friends, even if your relationship had ended. You understood if you were in his shoes, you would be just as numb. There was no pact. No promise. No soul-binding contract that vowed you would find each other again, so you hadn’t done anything wrong. You had simply…moved on. And you were so sure Yuji had done the same. Before Megumi and you even started dating, you checked Yuji’s posts, finding a gorgeous girl who held tightly too. Sure, at the time you felt how Yuji is feeling now, but you saw no point in grieving over a love that was bound to fall apart.

“Do you remember what you said to me that day?” His voice cut through your thoughts like a heated blade. It stunned you at first, but you slowly made the connection,” I do.” His eyes never left the trees encasing the humble home,” You told me that you will love me forever.” There was no amusement nor sadness in his tone,” And I believed you. I really did.”

You sighed, your breath forming a small cloud of fog,” That doesn’t mean I stopp-“

“Don’t.” He cut you off sharply,” Don’t lie to me. I saw how you looked at him and you never once looked at me like that.” His voice was bitter. Frankly, you scoffed,” We were kids Yuji. I committed to something I didn’t even understand completely. I just didn’t want you to hurt.”

“So you go and marry my best friend?” He spit, his jaw tightening. You inhaled slowly, trying to keep calm,”Did you expect me to just sit around and wish you would come back? I couldn’t do that to myself or Megumi. I had to continue to live.”

There was a reason for these venom-laced words being uttered. You and Yuji’s relationship didn’t end in a pretty way. Yuji had gotten too caught up in the missions and ultimately had forgotten about you and your well-being. So when you would scold him for being reckless, he only found it annoying, and after weeks of petty fights and disagreements, you decided it was time to go on a break. You suggested this in the middle of your guys' worst argument yet. You had already been crying, but when you muttered those words, tears started to flow from Yuji’s eyes.

You hated how he begged you to change your mind. He told you he could change and how much he loved you, but he had said those words before and nothing happened. So as he clung to your body, his tear-stained face in the crook of your neck, you told him the truth.

“I will love you forever. Nothing will stop that.”

A hiccup escaped the poor boy and he held you tighter,” Please, don’t leave me. I'm so sorry for everything I’ve done, just don’t go.”

Your heart panged harshly. Oh, how you wished he could turn his desperation into hate. His broken voice and deep sobs were some of the worst sounds you had ever heard. They made your skin crawl, your hands clamping into tight first, and worst of all, they made this so much harder. How easy it would be if Yuji were to despise your living being. Maybe then you could get through this.

Unbeknownst to you, amid your silence replaying the scene, a single tear streamed down your face and you quickly wiped it off. Love was so cruel. It felt nice to float above the clouds, soak in those mesmerizing sunsets and rises, but suddenly, the screen of ultraviolet was torn from your vision and as you looked down, you realized you were free-falling toward the cold and dark earth. Alas, you had already been crushed.

Slowly you turned your head, gazing longingly at the people inside, and you told yourself it was time to go. For the first time that night, you looked at Yuji willingly,” I’m sorry, again.” He made no comment, but you weren’t looking for one,” Maybe in another universe we could have worked out.”

You turned, body screaming to be free from the freezing temperatures, but in the blink of an eye, you were being forced back towards Yuji, who had grabbed your hand all too quickly. He held you close, your bodies touching. The warmth he was producing was almost soothing, but you didn’t move an inch. You stared up into his eyes and it was as if he had been rejuvenated and you were looking at the same Yuji you held onto that night. Even in the darkly lit area, you could see the sadness welling in his eyes.

“Why not this one?” His voice cracked and you felt a wave of Deja Vu. His eyes searched so desperately for an answer, but you couldn't find one. At least one that could give him peace. It was a soul-shattering display. To see someone so determined to be strong for the people he cared about, being torn apart by losing the only one he loved. If you couldn't see how much you meant to him then, then you surely saw it now.

Guilt was eating away at you and it only got worse as he tried to pull back the tear falling from his eye. Instinctively, you cupped his cheek, your thumb wiping away the droplet and caressing his tired face. You loathed how he leaned into your palm, needing some sort of affection, even as the sparks of hope flickered out.

“I know you’ll find someone Yuji.” You stated under your breath,” Someone who laughs with you. Someone who loves video games and movies,” You let out a bittersweet chuckle,” And I know you will find happiness.” Your tiny smile faded,” Just promise me something.”

“Anything.” He said instantly.

“Promise me that you will go out and find her, instead of only searching in the past.”

Your words hit Yuji right in the heart, but deep down, past the yearning and grief, he knew you were right. So as much as his heart denied it, he nodded slowly. You gave him a smile, one that unfortunately made his heartbeat pick up. Slowly you let go of the boy, trying to ignore how his hold on you lingered until you were taking a step back.

“Hey!”

You both whipped your heads around, finding your loving husband standing in the doorway,” You guys are going to miss dirty Santa if you keep chatting out here.” You watched as Megumi held himself, never one to enjoy the cold, and giggled,” Sorry love, we’ll be inside in a second.”

He nodded, already moving back into the warm room,” Good. I don’t want either of you freezing your ass off.” And with that, he shut the sliding door.

It was quiet after he left. You watched the snow-covered floor, and then you made your way back to look at the man,” I’ll see you around, Itadori.” He didn’t have time to respond as you walked away, heading inside to your husband and the party. Megumi opened the door for you, planting a sweet kiss on you the moment you stepped foot into the room and Yuji could see it all.

The only thing that mattered was that you were happy and if that meant it wasn’t with Yuji, then he was going to have to accept your wishes.

Sadly for both you and him, the only person you described matched only one person. But he had already let them slip through his fingers.