#dorogaya bucky barnes

[crowsofdarkness]

Vaz Prizrak: Chapter Nine

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, violence, mentions of losing a pregnancy, thoughts of taking one's life, an attempt to take one's life. I will give another warning when that chapter is posted.

Summary: Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away.

Authors Note: This takes place during Infinity War and Endgame! If you haven't yet, please read Soldat and Dorogaya beforehand.

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole @j23r23 @baw1066 @capswife

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist | Vaz Prizrak Masterlist

“Oh fuck,” I muttered while clutching the edge of a dresser as I tried to steady myself.

That was not a fun ride as I hoped for.

Finally getting my bearings, I looked around the room hoping I knew where I had ended up. The room was small, only having a twin sized bed and the dresser I was leaning up against. The only other piece of furniture was an old chair in the corner next to the door. With the decor, it told me that I was definitely back in time but I didn’t know how far back.

I grabbed the newspaper on the dresser, seeing the date, and my eyes nearly fell out of my head.

1936.

“What the fuck?” I cursed.

I looked around the room again for any sign and when my eyes landed on two old pictures taped to the wall above the bed frame, my heart sped up when the realization hit. He stood next to his sister and the other small picture next to it was him with his mom.

My feet treeked towards the two pictures and ran my finger over his face.

“Oh, Bucky,” I breathed.

I had spent the next few moments walking throughout Bucky’s old home, taking in every inch of the old wallpaper and cracked floors. The home was littered with family photos and a giggle fell through my lips when I saw a baby photo of Bucky.

There was a large stack of mail on the kitchen table and when I read the address, I knew exactly where Bucky’s old house stood, me growing up a few blocks over.

Loud footsteps sounded on the other side of the front door, creaking against the old stairs. Without a second thought, I ran back to Bucky’s room, pocketed the two pictures and slipped inside the closet, leaving the door open a crack.

Young Bucky entered the room, dressed in a sharp suit, and he collapsed onto his bed. His chest rose and fell with deep breaths and I stared lovingly at the soft features of his face. His large hands covered his face with a loud sigh. His flesh left hand made my heart sink, knowing that Bucky had no idea what the future had in store for him.

He stood from bed, shaking off his suit jacket, tossing it on the chair in the other end of the room. His fingers worked at the buttons of his dress shirt and I bit my lip when I saw the smooth skin of his back then his chest. Even back in the day, Bucky had a gorgeous body. There were no scars in sight, his skin so innocent.

“How’d it go?”

I snapped my gaze over to the doorway of the room, seeing a familiar face. She was the female version of Bucky.

Bucky gave his sister a shrug. “Alright. He said he’s fine but I know deep down he’s hurting.”

“Well it’s a good thing Steve has you. He buried his mom today, he needs a friend.”

Bucky nodded. “I know, Rebecca. I’m going to head back to his place in a bit. You’ll be fine?”

His sister giggled. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop worrying about me? If you don’t, you’ll never find a wife.”

“I’m starting to think she’s not out there,” Bucky admitted.

“She’s out there, Buck. You have to be patient.”

Bucky was alone once more and with his eyes trained hard to the ground below his feet, I noticed the way his back muscles tensed; something unreadable going on in his mind. Suddenly our eyes locked, him noticing someone was hiding in his closet. My heart hammered so hard through the cage in my chest as I fought with myself not to run into his arms.

“Bucky,” I sighed.

“Y/N, it’s time.”

Steve’s voice came through my com.

“No,” I cried.

Bucky was actually standing in front of me, in the flesh, and I wasn’t dancing with his ghost anymore. I wasn’t talking to him in my mind or my dreams. His physical form was in front of me and I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay here with him.

Blackness took over as I felt my body being pulled away from Bucky and back to the present time.

My knees fell hard to the metal platform of our makeshift time machine and felt my body shake with sobs, knowing what I had lost again. I ripped the mask off with anger, toppling down the steps to Nat’s feet.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Steve cooed while kneeling in front of me.

His hands cupped my cheeks, forcing me to look into his eyes, his thumb brushing away stray tears.

“It’s okay, we’ll try again,” Steve reassured me, thinking that I was crying because it hadn’t worked.

I shook my head that was still in his grasp.

“It worked,” I stated, pulling out the pictures from my pocket and handing them to Steve.

His green eyes drank in the familiar faces of Bucky, his sisters, and mom. The sides of his lips curled up to a smile at the pictures.

“He had these taped to the wall above his bed,” Steve mumbled.

“Did it work?” Tony yelled, breaking us from our trance.

“Yeah, it did,” Steve smiled at me.

“It is? Perfect, I’ll wire the money over to the account right now. Thank you so much.”

After I hung up the phone, I quickly wired the money, completing the transaction I spent the last two hours trying to find.

Slipping my phone into my back pocket, I walked back into the common area of the Avengers Tower, multiple pairs of eyes on me.

“What?” I asked while standing next to Steve.

Tony pointed towards me. “Who did you wire money to?”

My eyes sliced over to Steve. “Eavesdropping on my conversations still?”

“Super soldier hearing,” he pulled at his earlobe.

“It’s no one's business,” I turned my attention back to Tony.

His face flinched. “Wow, five years away turned you into kind of a bitch.”

“Well not all of us got our happy ending, Stark.” I snapped.

“Y/N,” Steve grabbed my hand when he noticed the flames burning at my fingertips.

I snatched my hand away from him before walking out of the room, muttering something about needing some air and time away from everyone.

[s-123-dont-know]

Bucky Barnes Fic Rec III

Fic Recs Masterlist

Last Update: 1/26/2023

ˢᵒ, ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶦˢ ᵈᵉᶠᶦⁿᶦᵗᵉˡʸ ˢʰᵒˢᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ᵐʸ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᴿᵉᶜˢ, ᵇᵘᵗ ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵃᵈᵈᶦⁿᵍ ᵐᵒʳᵉ, ⁱⁿ ᶜᵃˢᵉ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ⁱⁿᵗᵉʳᵉˢᵗᵉᵈ ⁽ᵒʳ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵃⁿᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᶠᶦᶜ ʳᵉᶜ⁾

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Series

Awake My Soul by @foreverindreamlandd

The Deal by @justreadingfics

Playing With Fire by @beccaanne814

Never Got Over You by @valkyrieofsmut

Better Like This by @simsadventures

Blue Is For Ben by @writerlyhabits

Heal Me by @rogue-barnes-16

Bucky Barnes x Rogers!Reader by @itsapeterthing

Pastel Colors by @the-canary

Dorogaya and Vas Prizrak by @the-fallen-nightmare Sequel of Soldat that I already rec in my previous fic rec. I felt that they need to be mentioned too c:

Oneshots

ᴹᵘˡⁱᵖˡᵉ ᵖᵃʳᵗˢ = 📍

Chemical Reaction by @slut4buckysarm

Forward by @cherrypickertheory

My Arms Will Hold You by @allyouneedisbuck 📍

Beneath The Moon, Upon The Sea by @bbyboybucket

The Family by @viperbarnes

Stalker by @you-are-my-sanctuary

Just One Night by @jobean12-blog

Untitled by @buckyalpine

On My Way by @buckyownsmylife

Tenure Track by @disturbedbydesign

Cause You Are, You Are by @sunmoonandeddie

Treacherous by @scrumptious-delusion

Someone To Die For by @giorno-plays-piano

Teacher's Pet by @hansensgirl

On The Eve Of Destruction by @threeminutesoflife

We Can Make It Till The End ᴮᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ⁱˢ ⁱᵗ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ��� ᶠⁱᶜ ʳᵉᶜ ᵐᵃᵈᵉ ᵇʸ ᵐᵉ ⁱᶠ ⁱᵗ ᵈᵒᵉˢⁿ'ᵗ ⁱⁿᶜˡᵘᵈᵉ @sinner-as-saint 💗

[kippykasey]

Ey demons, its me ya girl

Summary: Yelena and you go to a haunted cemetery together.

Word Count: 2212

Characters: Yelena Boleva & Reader

Kippy's Spoopy Saturday's Masterlist

P.S. Found this gif on Pintrest and edited it to look like a night vision camera filmed it.

Yelena Boleva was a hero in disguise the day we met at Natasha’s grave site. You see I was only a teenager when the snap happened. My parents, former Shield agents, turned to dust in front of my eyes. I went to the only safe place I could think of, the Avengers building. Well those five years during the snap I was basically raised by Nat and Steve Rogers. Losing them both was hard. Almost as hard as it was readjusting to having my parents back. In fact most of the time I’m usually checking in on Bucky Barnes, Clint Barton, Wanda (before she cut ties and went awol in Westview), and I found out that Nat had a grave in Ohio.

The moment I knew about the grave I had Sam help me get to Ohio to visit the grave of my pseudo mother. It was during my visit, while I was replacing some dead flowers, that Yelena arrived. She seemed almost upset that I was there but she saw the tears in my eyes. We made small talk about how we knew her and since then we became close. Yelena took over the training that Steve and mainly Nat had begun. She took on the ‘Aunt’ roll like it was second nature and became one of my best friends.

Spending time with Yelena during October was pretty frustrating and fun all at once. I had a personal tradition to watch ghost hunting shows leading up to Halloween. As a believer of the supernatural I fully got into the shows I was watching. Yelena on the other hand was a skeptic so she constantly made her disagreement known which on one hand got annoying but at the same time kept me from getting so into the show that I freak out with the investigators.

Yelena let out a sigh as yet another episode of Destination Fear ended. “You watch these all the time, why don’t you just go do it?” She looked over at me and I opened my mouth to answer but closed it. She had a point. I had watched some of these shows so much that some of them were memorized. I got off the couch we were sitting on in my apartment, the same building Bucky lived in actually. I moved over to the desk in front of the window and grabbed a book off one of the shelf legs. It had a list of haunted locations and I remember book marking one because it was so close.

“Well there is a haunted cemetery about 45 minutes from here. I started to do research on it and there might even be a… ya know… darker force.” I started to explain opening the book to the cemetery to show her while avoiding the word ‘demon’. Yelena sat up straighter making grabby hands for the book. When it was handed over she read over the page and grinned. “I’m pretty sure I can get all the things we need for a little investigation pretty easily. I say we do it!” She handed the book back excitedly and I groaned. “You don’t even believe in this stuff.”

“But you do moya dorogaya. “ My darling. Yelena leans over, poking the tip of my nose with her finger. “Saturday, we’ll go Saturday.” My lips pressed together and I tried not to look spooked but I knew that if Yelena was with me I would be okay from any humans that might be out there but I didn’t want to go and upset spirits or that dark being and bring it home with me like I see happen on the shows some times. I had a few days to do more research and I would make sure I did what I could to make it a safe experience.

👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻

When Saturday came I was just leaving Bucky’s after having dinner together when Yelena arrived to pick me up. She had planned it perfectly so the sun would have just set when we arrived at the cemetery. Cemeteries were always creepy to me but the darkness of night brought on a whole new level of darkness. Yelena and I got out of her car and moved to the trunk that she opened revealing her signature vest that she had gotten back from Nat’s things. She had filled the pockets with extra batteries for the camera, flashlights, and voice recorder she had gotten for our little ghost hunting adventure. Once the trunk was close she turned to me.

“Where to dorogaya?” Darling.

I took a deep breath and looked at the cemetery pulling up the map of it on my phone that I found online. “This way.” I walked towards the front gates. Yelena raced ahead and stood in front of the gates pulling out her phone for a selfie. “Woah look at me taking a selfie with some demons, yeah.” She says making my eyes widen as she took the picture.

It cleared my throat to help calm myself before we actually entered the fields of graves. With one of the flashlights Yelena brought I made sure I didn’t trip over an in-ground headstone as we walked through the cemetery. It was eerily quiet. The nearest road one the lone one that led up to the cemetery and the abandoned house across the street that was too run down for even squatters to live in. There was no rustling of leaves, no sounds of crickets, if anything I think I could hear the distant sound of the creek that ran behind the mausoleums.

“This is the children’s section. You can tell because of the angel statue in the center of the area.” I told Yelena pointing my flashlight at the statue as I mentioned it. “Claims say that the crying heard in this area is the angel weeping. Some even claim to have seen tears near the eyes of the statue.” I explain remembering some of the facts I had learned in my research.

Yelena handed me the camera she had been recording with since we entered the cemetery. As soon as I had it stabled she moved up closer to the statue before calling out. “Hey ghouls! The girls are here!”

“What are you doing?” I asked her looking around the dark fields of graves some headstones playing tricks with my head. Was that a person or a tall headstone?? Yelena laughed and walked over to wrap an arm around my shoulders. “I’m just letting them know we’re here.” She explained in an innocent tone. I nodded my head and we walked around the child section for a while before moving on towards the older section of the cemetery.

“Is it just me or does it look like someone is standing over there by the tree, near the road?” I asked, referring to the road that went through the cemetery. Yelena raised her flashlight from the ground over to where I was talking about. “That’s probably just a statue. Can’t really see from here though.”

We stopped right outside of the metal fenced-in older part of the cemetery. The gates had been removed to keep it included with the expanded part but it still felt like something all on her own. I raised my foot to step into the older part where Yelena already stood when I froze hearing what sounded like a disembodied scream. “D-did you hear that?”

“Hmm. Sounded like an owl.” She shot down my thoughts of it being supernatural with a logical explanation. It would have been a good thought if it weren’t for the fact that in the near hour we have been here we haven’t heard anything until now. I slowly walked father into the creepier part of the resting place of past lives. What might have been a breeze tickled my neck, but there wasn’t any wind. “Maybe we… Maybe we can use that voice recorder now?” I had to take a breath to compose myself and try to conceal how freaked out I was.

Yelena pulled out the recorder from one of the vest pockets. Using the flashlight to turn it on before clicking her light off leaving us in darkness, except for the small LCD screen on the camera in my hands. “This is the area where the demon is supposed to be right?” She casually asked as she moved to lean against a cracked headstone. My head snapped into her direction, pointing the camera at her. “Y-yeah.”

Yelena nods her head before holding her arm out with the recorder. I could see the red light on the voice recorder signaling the device was recording. “Is there anyone here?” I asked, starting the questioning. We waited for a bit before Yelena spoke, “Are you a demon?” As she mentioned the evil entity that was supposedly lurking here I felt a shiver run down my spine.

“When did you die?” I questioned, trying to ignore her.

“Demon? Demon?” Yelena called out in a strange voice as if she was mocking the being.

“Would you stop calling it that!” I scolded her as I scanned the area with the camera feeling like the mood shifted, or maybe I was just getting more scared of something reacting to her.

“I just want to talk to the demon.” She explained herself while still saying ‘demon’ in a joking way.

Before I could say anything in response I let out a yelp of fear jumping towards her as I caught a glimpse of something in the viewfinder of the camera. Yelena turned her head towards me with a questioning look that I couldn’t see in the darkness. “What was that?” She inquired as the light on the recorder turned off. “I thought I saw something on the camera.” The woman next to me hummed and flicked on her flashlight to scan the area with the artificial light. “Well nothing’s out there. It could have been that owl. Oh hey look, the recorder died.” I panned the camera over as I turned to look. The voice recorder was indeed dead. The new batteries we put in it before entering the cemetery should have given it enough battery life to last for six hours according to the user manual. It had barely been two since the batteries were put in.

“That’s strange. You brought extra batteries though, right?” I double checked and she nodded. Holding the flashlight between her shoulder and head she changed the batteries while I scanned the area once again with the camera. I paused squinting at the small screen. Three rows behind us, deeper into the older section of grave sites looked to be a black mist like form. Turning my head up from the camera to look in the same direction I didn’t see anything which made me quickly look back down at the camera.

“Got it. We are recording again.” Yelena informed me as she walked over. “Should we check out more of the cemetery?” I nod my head, turning away from the area I was previously spooked over. We left the old cemetery section and moved over to the mausoleum area. We sat in front of the buildings and did a few more questions and I would have to listen to the recordings later to find out if we actually caught anything since the recorder didn’t have playback speakers, just a headphone jack. Not to mention looking at the video recording on a larger screen would totally be easier to see if I actually caught something on film.

“HEY! You’re not allowed in here!” A voice shouted seconds before a flashlight shined on us. I squinted against the light in my face. As the person got closer the light moved off of our face and we were able to see an officer. “Sorry. We were just leaving.” I told him grabbing Yelena’s hand before she could argue. The officer escorted us back to our vehicle and followed us back down the road until we were back on a main road away from the cemetery we had spent a total of three hours in. Not long but I felt like it was worth it.

“That officer was probably the scariest part. I didn’t even hear him coming.” Yelena mentions as she drives towards my apartment. I rolled my eyes and shook my head letting out a soft yawn. “Yeah for you maybe. You were crazy for talking to a possible evil entity like that.”

“Demon. It’s a word. Not a being. More of a figurative being maybe.” She spoke with a slight shrug. “I’m crashing at your place tonight you know.” She mentions and I nod my head already expecting her to since we would be getting back so late, or technically early in the morning.

The next day when I was going through the recordings I was baffled. Was that a growl in response to Yelena’s ‘demon’ mocking? Did that voice sound like it was telling us to leave? There really was a black mist caught on the camera, Yelena said it was just a camera malfunction but that had to be her just trying to logically explain it right?

Either way I knew I was never going back to that cemetery ever again.

[freelancearsonist]

Smutmas Day Seven

An Evgeni Kolpakov x Reader Drabble

Rated E (Explicit - 18+) for graphic sexual content and stress relief

438 words

Day Seven: “The holidays are stressful... we need some relief.”

Twelve Days of Smutmas Masterlist

You sigh heavily as you flop onto the couch, face buried in a fluffy throw pillow so that the disgruntled scream you emit is muffled.

You can hear Evgeni’s soft chuckle as he sits next to your waist and presses his thumb right into the tense spot between your shoulders that he’s become so familiar with working his fingers into.

You moan as his skillful, limber fingers work into your sore muscles.

“I know it is frustrating, my love,” he hums softly. “Try not to let it bring your spirits down, hmm?”

“Too late.”

You have about twenty-six thousand relatives that you need gifts for and none of the numerous stores you and Evgeni visited had anything remotely close to what you were looking for.

“Mmm... perhaps I can change your mind?”

Before your exhausted brain can register the blatant suggestion in his voice, his lips are on your neck, precisely and accurately finding the exact spot that never fails to make you melt in his arms.

You moan softly and tilt your head, allowing him better access as his hands move up to rub at the tense cords of muscle in your neck.

“The holidays are stressful... we need some relief.” He nips lightly at your earlobe as a shiver runs down your spine. “Let me help you relax, moya dorogaya.”

“‘Geni...”

He hushes you gently, fingers digging firmer into your sore muscles and drawing another sinful moan from your lips.

“Perhaps I can use my fingers to ease you somewhere else, hmm?” Without even looking at him, you can hear the playful smirk on his face through his voice. 

“Please—“

Before you can even say anything else, he gently flips you onto your back and starts working your pants down your legs.

“Baby, please,” you whine as his fingers curl into the band of your underwear. He stops, dark eyes flicking up to yours, seemingly intent on staring into your very soul. He always looks at you like that, like he knows you as he knows himself. Intimately, entirely. He’s the only person who’s ever known you and understood you completely. “Please, ‘Geni. I need you.”

He doesn’t make you wait any longer, doesn’t want to deprive you when you’re in need. He’s quick to pull your panties off and toss them aside, and his warm, precise hands immediately move to push your thighs wide apart.

“Okay?” He asks softly. He always asks, no matter how many times you’re in this same exact position. 

“Okay,” you repeat. And then his warm fingers fill you, effectively erasing all the stress of the season, if only for a moment.

The End

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[avengerscompound]

Like Rabbits - Chapter 15

Like Rabbits:  A Black Widow/WinterHawk Fanfic

Masterlist // PREVIOUS

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Rating: E Square:  @ladiesofmarvelbingo​ - N4, "If this is love, loving you is easy."

Word Count:  2510

Warnings:  Labor, Clint uses Nitrous Oxide

Synopsis:  While you and Natasha are contemplating starting a family together, Bucky and Clint are doing the exact same thing.  So two couples go take the same path to parenthood together.

A/N: This is a Nat/Reader chapter.

Chapter 15

Natasha had started to worry.  Things had been going really well … with everything really.  The babies had been growing well and you’d had minimal issues.  Just a bout of sciatica that made your whole left leg go numb for a few days and the weird vivid dreams.  Your blood pressure had been good.  The babies were the same size.  You were a little uncomfortable but otherwise fine.

That should have meant Natasha would relax.  It did the opposite.  She kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and everything to fall apart.  So when you started making little pained noises and rubbing the middle of your back, she was sure that something bad was about to happen.  She had visions of when she’d miscarried and woken up in her own blood.  You kept reassuring her that it was just Braxton Hicks contractions.  But all Natasha could think was it was still too soon and something was about to go wrong.  The fact that Clint and Bucky had decided to go away this very weekend seemed to solidify that fact.

By the afternoon you had started to stop much more regularly and the sounds you made really were beginning to sound like you were in a lot of pain.

“I don’t think it’s Braxton Hicks, zaika,” Natasha said, coming over and rubbing your back for you.

“It has to be, Tasha.  It’s too early.”  You whined.

“Dorogaya,” she cooed.  “They said anytime and we need to make sure they’re okay.  If you’re in pain we should get to the hospital.”

You huffed.  “Maybe if I call them?”

“Alright, zaika.  But if they even say you should maybe come in just in case.  We’re going in.”  Natasha said.

“Okay, Tasha,” you said and waddled over to get your phone.  As you walked Natasha noticed you were dripping some kind of fluid on the floor.

“Zaika,” she said gently, pointing at your crotch.  “You’re leaking.”

You looked down at yourself and frowned. “Did I pee myself?”

“I don’t know.  Did you?  Or did your waters just break?”  She asked.

“No… Tasha.  It’s too soon.”  You said, trying to make it reality by just arguing about it.  “Besides, Clint and Bucky went away.”

She came over to you and wrapped her arms around you, letting you melt into them.  “Call the hospital, I’ll call the dumbass exes.  We’re gonna have our babies, zaika.”

You nuzzled into her neck for a moment and pulled away.  “Okay.  Can you pack a bag too?”  You asked.

“Of course, my love,” she said.

You went and grabbed your phone and Natasha headed upstairs, dialing Bucky on her way.

It didn’t take long before he’d answered.  “Tasha?  Is something wrong?”  He said in his usual greeting.

“James,”  Natasha answered, attempting to remain calm but not 100% sure she was managing it.  “I realize you probably only just arrived.  But you need to come back.  She’s in labor.”

“Fuck.  What the hell?”  Bucky cursed down the line.  It actually made Natasha relax a little and she dug out the bag that was already half packed with things for the hospital.  She could hear Clint and Bucky scrambling around in through the phone as she started to pack.

“She’s been having labor pains all day but she kept telling me it was false ones.  But her water just broke.  So we’re going in.  I will call again, but I think you should have time to get back.  But… you know.  Hurry.”  She said.

“We’re leaving.”  It was Clint this time, obviously having snatched the phone off Bucky.  “Tell her to keep her legs together.”

Natasha laughed and disconnected the call.  She finished packing the last few things you needed and brought the bag down.  “Ready?”

You were leaned over the table panting.  She moved up behind you and began to massage your back.  “Why didn’t I realize?”

“You were just being optimistic.  You thought they’d make it until your induction day.”  She said, her hands kneading your lower back.

The contraction seemed to pass and the two of you went out to the car together.  It was a long drive from the farm to the hospital, and while you only had two contractions on the way the second seemed closer and stronger to Natasha.

You checked in and changed into your button-up nightshirt in the labor room, another contraction hitting as you were putting it on.  Natasha worked your back again as it hit, wishing there was something more she could do to help you.

The first of what would be many midwives came in and put a monitor on you and set you up in bed, telling you they just needed to monitor the twins for a little while, and if everything was fine, you could get up and move around.   She also checked how far you were dilated and it was only four centimeters.  “You’re in for a long haul.”  She warned.

Three contractions hit while you were on the monitor and they definitely seemed worse for being stuck in the bed.  Natasha held your hand through them and in between she put on the music you wanted to listen to and lit a scented candle to help cover up the hospital smell.

You had been let up to move around when Clint and Bucky burst into the room.

“Are you okay?  Did we miss it?”  Clint said as he skidded to a halt in the room.

“Still a long way off.  It’s fine.”  Natasha said.

“Thank god,” Bucky said.  “Do you need anything, bun?”

“Ice chips.  I’m so hot.”  You complained.  “Can you make the aircon colder?”

“You got it.”  He said and went and adjusted the aircon before heading back out into the corridor.  Natasha knew how he felt about hospitals and she knew he’d try and keep busy to distract himself from where he was.

Unfortunately, the nurse was not lying.  Three hours into your labor you had stripped naked because no matter how ice-cold they made it in the room you were sweating.  All concept of shame shoved right out of your head.  You didn’t care who saw you at all.  Natasha took you to the bathroom and you stood under the cool water of the shower.  After an hour of doing that you couldn’t stand up anymore and Clint put on a pair of swim trunks and hopped in with you.  Bucky had gotten you an exercise ball and you sat on it, leaning against Clint while Natasha rubbed your back.  Every time a contraction hit, she’d up the heat of the water and hold the nozzle against your back.

An hour after that they made you go on the monitor again for two hours.  In that time, you lost your ability to cope at all and they gave you the nitrous.  That didn’t seem to help with the pain exactly.  Each contraction you still reacted exactly as you had before.  Squeezing Bucky’s metal hand as Natasha rubbed your back and you moaned and cried out in pain.  But it did seem to make you cope for a little while.  You started giggling in between contractions and when you were asked what was so funny you couldn’t explain it.  You ended up sharing the nitrous with Clint and the two of you just completely lost it in fits of giggles.  Natasha was just glad you were still in good spirits.

It didn’t last though.  The nitrous started making you really confused and disorientated.  Thankfully they let you off the bed again and you returned to the bathroom.  This time filling the tub and climbing in.  Bucky sat on the edge, letting you doze against him as Natasha held the nozzle against your back through each contraction.

You stayed in the tub for two hours.  The water gradually getting topped up each time it cooled off too much.  When you got out to have everything checked again you had pruned up from the water.  The babies were doing fine.  You were still only five centimeters dilated. 

The process was repeated for another ten hours.  Walking.  Bath.  Monitor with nitrous.

“Why is this taking so long?”  You cried.  When the nurses left the room.

“They said with twins natural is much harder,” Natasha soothed, as she patted our brow with a cool cloth.  “Do you want to try an epidural?”

“No.  No.  I wanted to be present for this.”  You sobbed.

“Honey.  You will be.  It just numbs you below the waist.”  She said.  “Remember?  “You could try pethidine,, but that will actually make you feel high.”

Another contraction hit and you doubled over, breathing through it.

The monitors started to make loud beeping sounds and two of the midwives came rushing in.

“What’s going on?”  Bucky said standing and trying to look over their shoulders.  “What’s wrong?”

“The babies are in a little bit of distress.”  One said as the other checked you over. “We’re going to get your doctor in here.”

The one nurse rushed off to make the call as the other stayed and started to do an ultrasound.  Natasha's heart was racing.  This was it.  This was where it all fell apart.  There would be no babies to take home.  She wouldn’t be doing midnight feedings or singing them to sleep.  It was being taken from her again.

“What does that mean?  What’s going to need to happen?”  Bucky asked, sounding just as panicked as she felt.

“We’ll wait for the doctor to get here.  Okay?”  She said.  “Try not to panic.”

Which of course only made it worse.  The doctor took half an hour to get there.  By the time he arrived, you’d thrown up and Natasha felt like she was going to too.

She looked at the charts and the reading and frowned.  “Okay.  We’re going to need to get this show on the road.  You’re going to need to have a cesarean and it’s going to need to happen now.

“No,” you said with obvious panic setting in.  “Tasha.  I wanted to deliver them naturally.”

“I know honey, but things change.”  Natasha soothed.

“Listen to your wife,” the doctor said, as two orderlies rushed in.  “We’re going to take good care of you, and when you wake up, you’ll have two healthy babies, but if we don’t do this now, I can’t promise that.”

“I won’t even be awake?  Tasha?”

“It’s okay, zaika.  I won’t leave your side.”  Natasha said.

Bucky had started cursing under his breath and Clint took his hand and held it against his mouth.  As the orderlies pushed the bed out into the hall, Natasha walked with you, holding your hand and soothing you as the boys followed on behind.  They washed up and she returned to your side in a surgical gown and cap

You were put under a general anesthetic and when you counted off, everything happened so fast.  Maybe it was the lack of sleep not allowing her to process things, but it felt like the had only just set up the screen when they had taken out the first of her daughters.  Bucky and Clint stood with her and Bucky had gone so white she worried he was going to pass out.  But when Rebecca’s cries filled the room, all the color returned again and tears filled his eyes.  They were only given a moment to see her before they rushed her way to give her medical attention.  She had only just been whipped away when Lyra had joined the world.

“If you want to go and spend time with your daughters, we’ll be here for another half an hour.”  The doctor said.

“I’ll stay,” Natasha said.

“You sure, Nat?  You don’t want to see them?”  Clint asked.

“I promised I wouldn’t leave her side,” Natasha replied.  “I’ll meet them when she gets to.”

Clint and Bucky nodded and each of them kissed her cheek before following the nurses out to the NICU.

Natasha stayed by your side as they stitched you back up and wheeled you out to recovery.  She was there when you groggily opened your eyes and looked around confused by your surroundings.  She held your hand and soothed you as you started to cry and couldn’t form the words as to why you were so upset.  And when the nurse came over and checked you over and gave you some juice and a sandwich to help get your blood sugar back up she held your juice cup for you so you could just lie and sip it through a straw without spilling it everywhere.

“Are they okay, Tasha?”  You asked.

“I haven’t seen them yet.”  She said.  “I assume so or I think Bucky and Clint would have come to let me know.”

“Why didn’t you go see them?”  You asked.

“I said I wouldn’t leave your side, zaika,” Natasha said.  “So I haven’t.”

“But your babies?  Why would you stay with me?”

She leaned down and kissed your forehead tenderly.  “Because I love you.”

“If this is love, loving you is easy.”  You whispered.

She smiled and ran her fingers over your scalp.  “So easy.”

You let out a breath and smiled.  “Can we see them?”

“I’ll go find someone.  Will you be okay?”

You nodded and she got up and went and found a nurse.  That kicked things into gear again.  The truth was Natasha was anxious.  She wanted to meet her daughters and the no news thing wasn’t helping at all.

They had some orderlies move you down to your room and switched you on to your hospital bed.  You were just settling in when Clint and Bucky came in followed by one of the nurses pushing an incubator.

“Hey there mommies,”  Clint said.  “You ready to see your girls?”

The nurse moved the crib close to the bed.  Natasha’s heart caught.  They were tiny and wrinkled and dressed in diapers that looked huge on them and pink onesies.  They had what looked like a heart rate monitor attached to them, but other than that no other tubes or wires, which Natasha took as a good thing.  And they looked like you.  A tear escaped and for a second Natasha questioned who exactly she was because she didn’t cry.  Not ever.

“Would you like to hold your babies?”  The nurse asked.

“Yes, yes, please.  Is that okay?”  You asked.

“Of course, they’re both very healthy.  You did a good job, mama.  They took a little oxygen and warming up but they recovered very quickly.”  The nurse said taking out the baby with the name tag reading Lyra Yelena Barnes-Romanoff.  She put the tiny little bundle in your arms and you held her close and sniffed her head.  “You can try feeding them if you like.”

Rebecca was taken out next and placed into Natasha’s arms.  Natasha smelled her just as you had done with Lyra.   She wore that distinctive newborn scene and right away Natasha knew she was in love and that would never get taken away from her.  Not ever.

// NEXT

[amandaoftherosemire]

Sing For Me - Chapter Thirty-eight

Fandom: Marvel Avengers AU

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X OFC (Sasha)

Characters: Bucky Barnes, OFC Sasha, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Wanda Maximoff, OFC Zoe, OFC Kat, OFC Maddie, Princess Shuri

Author: @amandaoftherosemire​

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2290

Format: Series (Complete)

Warning: Language, angst.

Summary: Sasha searches for a way out.

A/N: Not consistent with Marvel canon. This would have been up last week but another of my fics wouldn’t stop screaming in my brain to let me finish it. At least I was writing something. :D

Banner by: @hellzzzbelle

Sing For Me Masterlist

Chapter Thirty-seven here

Chapter Thirty-eight

Sasha was thoroughly lost. Which was weird and annoying since she was almost certain these woods were the same as those behind Caleb’s grandparents’ house. From time to time, however, the look of a gnarled tree or a moss-covered rock would send a chill down her spine, reminding her of the forest that surrounded Morozov’s compound.

If she managed to get out of this, she was going to have to confront the destruction of said compound, if for no other reason than to deal with the part of her that still lived in terror. Besides, she’d promised to dance the mambo on the ashes of everything Valentin had built. She needed to set a good example for Zoe about keeping one’s word, after all.

She couldn’t be sure if she had been stamping through these woods for twenty minutes or twenty days, the light remaining the same midday gloom of a thickly overcast day, but she was almost positive she was walking in circles. Since she wasn't certain this experience was completely subjective, she didn't know if it was something symbolic representing some aspect of her psyche, or if she was… still?... somewhere else…

Sasha stopped to examine the tree she was certain she’d passed three times already. It was big enough around that it would take another four of her to surround it and rose over a hundred feet in the air. She'd narrowed her eyes at it the second time she'd seen it, but she couldn't be sure it necessarily meant anything, so she'd kept moving. Now that she was sure she'd seen it more than once, it could only mean she was meant to pay attention.

“Do you think you’ll ever be free of me, dorogaya moya?" The voice was smooth with a faint Russian accent and a hint of menace. The sound sent a shiver down her spine, but she answered as she always had.

"Ugh! With this shit again!?" Sasha threw her arms up in the air as she spun to confront the blue-eyed monster in a bespoke suit that still haunted her nightmares.

Valentin Morozov stood a few feet away and smiled in the same way a shark does moments before devouring its prey. “A part of you will always belong to me, Alexandra.”

Just as Valentin spoke the hated name, Sasha thought she heard the flutes and strings that came with the pretty, playful azure breeze. She flicked the back of her hand at him as she looked around and strained to catch which direction it was coming from. “Can you shut up? I’m trying to hear.”

Valentin continued with his now familiar refrain. Sasha had heard these words in her nightmares more times than in reality at this point. “I’ll always be here, Alexandra. I’m part of you now.”

“You’re just the worst, Val. You know that, right?” She was barely paying attention to her own personal boogeyman as she could swear she heard her name amongst the happy woodwinds and melancholy strings and hoped it wasn’t wishful thinking. “You’re like Hannibal Lecter without the charm or intelligence or social polish.”

“All that fire, solnyshko,” Val moved in, his hand reaching out to touch her, something she’d swore to never again allow, even in dreams, “and you waste it on— “

“Shut. Your. Fucking. Mouth.” Sasha didn’t even look at the man who’d tortured and scarred her inside and out as she placed the tip of the sword she still held at his throat. Her face colder than his reptilian eyes, she scanned her surroundings for the little breeze she could hear but not see.

“Al—” Val opened his mouth to speak, but only the first syllable escaped before Sasha was spinning the sword and plunging it into his chest. His face mirrored the same astonishment he had worn at his actual death as he stared down at the blade and the blood that soaked his pristine white shirt around it.

Sasha sounded almost bored as she spoke. “I’ll kill you as many times as I need to, in whatever ways I have to. You cannot win because you’re nothing but a bad memory. And my name is Sasha.”

With a disdainful yank, she pulled the sword from Valentin’s chest to let him fall to the ground. "Asshole." At least she now knew she was trapped inside her own mind. Val was her monster; he only haunted her dreams now. If he was here, she had to be unconscious.

Once Valentin was no longer distracting her, Sasha realized the giant tree she stood staring up at glowed a gentle golden hue and resonated with the song that rode the wind through its branches. Circling the enormous cedar, she was able to pinpoint the direction the song was coming from. Hefting the sword back over her shoulder in case Val made another appearance, she took off at a trot to wherever Zoe was leading.

Over what felt like the next hour, she followed the song at a jog, trying and failing to determine whether it was getting louder, until she came upon another of those glowing golden cedars. She was certain it wasn’t the same tree; this one was shorter but bigger around. As she came near, she became certain the song was louder.

Reaching out, Sasha placed her hand against the surprisingly cool, rough bark. As soon as her palm made contact, a rush of rose-gold power blew through her like light and for the first time in months, she could feel the people around her.

Zoe was closest, her fear and desperation accompanied by the whisper of her thoughts, calling across the void, exhorting Sasha to stop being such a drama queen and get up already.

Next was a song both familiar and not, a tangled mass of fear and defiance. Over and through that tangle, however, sang a melody of joyous, unconditional devotion. Sasha had her suspicions about the source of that song, as well as a deep curiosity as to the inspiration of such adoration.

Under it all was the song Sasha was searching for and once she found it, the pull towards it was too great to resist. Not that she tried. With a happy whoop, she took off into the forest at a run, following both the pull and Zoe’s song.

As she ran, ducking under branches and leaping over fallen logs, Zoe’s voice got louder and louder as long as she continued to follow the magnetic pull towards what felt like her own polar star. She could no longer understand the words now that she was on the move, but the impatience came through loud and clear.

Sasha was chuckling to herself at the sensation when she burst through the line of trees to find herself in a clearing dominated by the biggest tree she’d ever seen. Rising hundreds upon hundreds of feet into the sky and at least a hundred feet in diameter, Sasha was sure such a thing couldn’t exist in reality.

Aside from its size, it also shone golden, a stream of rose-gold light spearing into the blue-silver clouds that swirled and churned around it. Tilting her head as far back as she could, she saw a twinkling of rich cerulean far, far up, somehow shimmering with impatience.

“Well, shit.” Sasha stood several yards back looking up, trying to see the top of the tree she was now sure she’d have to climb. Her heart failing her a little— she was so, so tired— she strode forward to place her hand on the reddish-brown bark.

This time she didn’t even have to make contact before the rush of light was moving through her. The little blue twinkle came clearer as she was engulfed by the pleasantly warm golden glow streaming from every crack in the bark.

Sasha chuckled as she determined that it was indeed her little sister pumping all that impatience into the air but sobered quickly when she felt Zoe’s sick dread and wracking guilt. Instinctively, and as though she’d never lost it, she reached out with her power, sending reassurance, wry affection, and absolute confidence out through her palm and into the tree.

She was certain she knew what to do now, though she couldn’t explain how. It was simply a matter of doing it. Getting shit done had never been a problem for Sasha.

Less than a second later, she felt Zoe respond to her push of emotion with elation and excitement. She could nearly see the pretty blue-green twinkle flitting around the top of the tree, the feeling came through so clearly.

Exhausted all the way to her bones, Sasha half-chuckled, half-sighed as she rested her forehead on the trunk next to where her hand still lay. It was then she noted that the tree felt nothing like the bark and wood it appeared to be; it was paradoxically hard as stone yet as malleable as clay.

Simply sighing this time, feeling a little defeated before she began but unwilling to wait, she pressed her fingers into the bark, the wood collapsing inward under the pressure to make a perfect handhold. “Not really a climbing tree, but okay.” Lifting her other hand over her head and pushing her toes in, she began the ascent.

At first, she stopped as often as there was a branch capable of supporting her weight, resting with her back to the trunk and trying not to fall. She didn’t know that it would matter, or if it would kill her, so she opted not to find out.

Before long, however, she was climbing faster and resting less often; a slow but steady surge of energy bearing an odd, unfamiliar familiarity poured into Sasha from the tree and its revitalizing gold light. The higher she climbed, the more tumultuous the winds that buffeted both the tree and Sasha.

Sasha was not complaining, however. She’d always been a fan of storms, of wild winds and purifying cloudbursts, and this was a storm meant for her. She could feel it as the gale lifted the tangled hair at the nape of her neck and whispered across her skin.

Hours, possibly days later, her foot planted firmly on the last branch that could hold her, she pulled herself finally to the top of a tree tall enough that its existence as an obstacle had come to feel like she was being insulted. She couldn't figure out what the hell her brain was up to.

She wrapped her arm around the tree trunk and leaned out as far as she could, shaking her hair back to toss and tumble in the wind. Like cool fingers combing through the tangled locks, it both soothed and excited.

The little azure twinkle had been chuckling and swirling, obviously trying both encouragement and taunts to motivate Sasha on. Filled nearly to bursting with that warm golden light, she’d hardly needed to breathe through the last stretch, so the encouragement endeared while the taunts amused.

Once she’d reached the top, however, the pretty aquamarine light had moved out into the whirling, arctic gale and shimmied up and down as though to lure Sasha closer. She watched the little star in consternation, utterly baffled as to why her sister seemed to want her to jump.

The twinkle suddenly dipped, drawing Sasha’s eyes downward and making her stomach pitch at the sight of the ground far below. Despite the overwhelming urge to close her eyes in response to her spinning head, she kept them open and trained on her guide. Because of that absolute trust, she noticed the swirl of blue and silver mist that streamed upward in an unbroken spiral. The current was within leaping distance, but only if she didn’t hesitate or hold back.

Sasha didn’t give herself time to think or second guess. Running down the length of the branch with the same poise she’d once used on the dance floor, she leapt into the air. She pushed off with as much power as she possessed, her body an arrow aiming for the eddy of air she believed absolutely would carry her home.

For a moment, as she reached the apex of her arc and began the plummet to the earth below, her stomach dipped and her heart failed.

In the next, a cool and oddly firm gust of wind caught her and threw her higher than she’d ever been before.

Never should have doubted you. The first thing to run through Sasha’s head as she regained consciousness was directly related to the first thing she noticed, the cool metal against the fire in the back of her neck.

“—op acting like you’re the only one who’s thinking about what’s best for Zoe, Steve.”

Sasha didn’t open her eyes right away, the simple sensation of being genuinely conscious overwhelming enough. The weight of her own body was almost more than she could bear now that she could actually feel it. Though everything she’d experienced had felt utterly real in the moment, now that she was awake, much of it seemed to fade away.

“I cannot believe you’re thinking about letting her try this!”

Sasha didn’t need to hear any more to know she didn't want to. “If you guys are going to fight—” The rasp of her voice, rusty with disuse, had every eye snapping in her direction. She kept her eyes closed, not ready to endure the light yet, but she smirked. “—can you at least take your shirts off?” She gingerly pried her eyes apart to grin tiredly, but with a slow, cheeky wink, at a gaping Bucky, who stared thunderstruck, silent in disbelief. “No reason the rest of us shouldn’t get a show.”

Chapter Thirty-nine here

Taglist:

@marvel-lucy @cheekygeek05 @lbouvet @lovely-geek @wantingtobekorra @diinofayce @ashesandfire @suz-123 @theresaskankinmyboot @ddysis @caplansteverogers @getbuckylucky @california-grown @rnr1274 @capandbuck @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @magellan-88 @mizzzpink @curiositywillbethedeathofmee @colie87 @bibliophile1773 @henrietteoaks @hellzzzbelle @same--old-shit @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @rishlo @eyesfixedonthesun22

[crowsofdarkness]

Vaz Prizrak: Chapter Eight

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, violence, mentions of losing a pregnancy, thoughts of taking one's life, an attempt to take one's life. I will give another warning when that chapter is posted.

Summary: Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away.

Authors Note: This takes place during Infinity War and Endgame! If you haven't yet, please read Soldat and Dorogaya beforehand.

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole @j23r23 @baw1066 @capswife

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist | Vaz Prizrak Masterlist

The softness of the mattress was enough to comfort me as my fingers turned the old pages in the journal while it laid in my lap. Steve mentioned that Tony wanted to double check the time machine before we ran the test run so I decided to use that time for myself; quiet time in my room reading Bucky’s old journals. 

I remember my room back in the forties, back at my childhood home. There wasn’t much but it was enough to call my own. What I miss most about it was the picture of my sister, mom, and I. I never got to bring it with me before heading to basic training for the war. It was one of my many regrets in life. 

Bringing my finger to my lips, I quickly licked in then turned the next page. Bucky’s chicken scratch for handwriting brought a warm remembrance to my heart. This had become a nightly ritual the last few years. Before Bucky was dusted, I promised him that I wouldn’t ever read his other journals but after he was gone, I said to hell with that promise. I missed him and I needed to have a part of him with me again. 

Time had passed, the moon slowly rising over the tops of the trees outside, the glow casting the room in a white light from the floor to ceiling windows. I curled deeper under the blanket, wanting nothing more than to immerse myself into Bucky’s words, and soon my eyes became heavy. Sleep was long overdue and it took my fast. 

Soft music played throughout the ballroom, myself being the only person inside. The bottom of my black ball gown trailed behind me as I took in my surroundings. The empty dance floor and tables suddenly became filled with bodies, laughing and smiling. Women were dressed in dresses while the men were dressed in their military uniforms and it became very clear where I was. 

It was after World War Two and the men of the war finally had come home. 

“Doll?” 

Turning on my heels, I was met with those brown eyes that I missed fondly. His voice wasn’t talking to me in my head anymore, he was standing in front of me. 

“Bucky?” I muttered, lips trembling. 

Gone was the beard and long hair, standing in front of me dressed in his military uniform. But what pulled at my heart was his left arm; it was completely flesh. The vibranium arm was a mere forgotten memory. 

“God, you look beautiful, Y/N.” Bucky mused while pulling me into his warm embrace. 

He smelled exactly how I remembered. 

“Can I have this dance?” He asked with a slight smirk. 

Our bodies swayed together as we danced along to the slow tunes of the song and I marveled at the softness of his bare cheek as my fingers cupped them. I softly gazed into his eyes, thankful that he was back in my arms again. 

“I missed you so much, Bucky,” I admitted. 

“I’m never leaving again. I’m back where I belong,” he lifted my chin to lock our eyes. 

I stood on my toes while he leaned in closer, bringing our lips closer and closer by mere inches. However before they could clash together, he vanished through my fingers when a loud knock sounded in my ears. 

My eyes snapped open, staring up at the white ceiling of my room. The dream had ended and I realized that I had been dancing with Bucky’s ghost. 

Another knock sounded on my door but I was too defeated to answer. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, who’s at the door?” I questioned the A.I of Avengers Tower. 

“Mr. Rogers.” 

“Let him in,” I commanded with a soft sigh. 

The door clicked open as soon Steve was standing at the foot of my bed, watching me cuddle the pillow close to my chest. 

“Want to talk about it?” He asked, knowing what was going through my mind. 

“Nope.” 

He let out a loud breath while running a hand through his hair then sat at the end of the bed. 

“I know you miss him, Y/N. I do too but you can’t let it stop you from living,” he started. 

I sat up in bed, my back hitting the headboard. “If you’re going to tell me that I need to move on then don’t. How can you tell me to move on when you’re still in love with a girl you’ve kissed once?” 

Steve’s eyes hardened. “People tend to forget that I’d know her for years.” 

“So you would give everything up to be with her?” I questioned. 

 I didn’t need to hear his answer, I already knew it. 

His shoulders tensed while he hesitated. 

“Exactly. Are we ready to do this test run?” I asked, changing the subject. 

Steve nodded. “You’re sure you want to do this?” 

It was my turn to nod. “If it allows me to bring everyone back then I’m sure as hell.” 

Nat pulled the zipper of my suit all the way up before walking around me, facing me with a questionable look. 

“Please be careful,” she stated. “I need you back here to help me with these idiots.” 

I laughed as we looked at our team, our family. We were all ready to put everything on the line to bring our other family back and undo everything Thanos did with the snap. 

“They would be lost without us, huh?” I said while watching Tony mess with Scott. 

Nat agreed and gently pushed me towards the platform. 

The steps seemed large as I ascended towards the middle, ready for the wild ride I was about to head on. All of their eyes were on me, Steve’s harder than others. I knew he didn’t agree with my decision but he couldn't stop me. I needed to do this. 

“Any idea where you want to go?” Bruce asked as he started the machine up, turning on countless buttons. 

I shrugged. “Wherever my subconscious takes me, I guess.

“You only have five minutes before we bring you back. It will seem like years to you but to us it’s minutes. Don’t talk with your past self or anyone.” Scott rambled on. 

With a deep breath, I placed Bucky’s old mask on my face and gave Bruce a nod, letting him know that I was ready. 

Steve and my eyes met and I gave him a thumbs up to reassure him that I would be fine. 

“See you in five,” I yelled before I felt myself being sucked below the platform.

[crowsofdarkness]

Vaz Prizrak: Chapter Ten

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, violence, mentions of losing a pregnancy, thoughts of taking one's life, an attempt to take one's life. I will give another warning when that chapter is posted.

Summary: Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away.

Authors Note: This takes place during Infinity War and Endgame! If you haven't yet, please read Soldat and Dorogaya beforehand.

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole @j23r23 @baw1066 @capswife

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist | Vaz Prizrak Masterlist

With a quick snap, I lit the old fireplace and felt the warmth spread across my legs. The orange glow lit up the old home as I walked through. It was now empty, being left abandoned the last 80 years. It looked completely different when I was here a few hours ago but I couldn’t stop thinking of ways that I could fix up the holes in the walls and the missing floor boards. 

The master bedroom and bathroom were what needed the most work and a slight fear of what I had gotten myself into creeped into my bones; a giant hole was directly in the middle of the floor. 

“So this is what you wired the money for?” 

Looking to the front doorway, I sighed when I saw Steve leaning against the doorframe. 

“You followed me?”

He pushed himself off the frame, his large feet walking inside the old house. “It’s exactly like I remembered.” 

“What are the odds you know your way with a hammer?” I somewhat joked. 

Steve laughed. “Not at all. That’s Bucky’s forte.”

I stuffed my hands deep into the pockets of my coat while Steve stood next to me as we both watched the fire dance. 

“I can’t believe you bought Bucky’s childhood home,” Steve spoke after moments of silence. 

“He deserves something good when he comes back,” I stated. 

Steve looked over to me with a confused stare. “He has you.” 

I shrugged. “I’ve done a lot of bad things the last five years and I don’t think Bucky could accept it.” 

“You’re talking about The Winter Soldier,” Steve reminded me, bumping my shoulder with his own. 

I looked around the run down house with a large sigh, knowing that there was going to be no way that I could get it fixed up in time. I wanted to surprise Bucky when the fight was over with his old home being fixed back to its former glory. He deserved a home to grow old in. 

“Yikes, what are you two doing hanging out in this dump?” 

Turning on my heels, I smiled at Natasha as she slowly maneuvered her way inside over the holes. 

“Hey, this is my dump you’re shitting on,” I defended. “What are you doing here?” 

She held up a bag of food. “Figured you two were hungry.” 

We all sat on the floor in front of the fireplace, eating and laughing about old memories of us working together; before everything changed. I missed the way our banter bounced off each other, Nat and I giving Steve a hard time for how old he was.

“I missed this,” Natasha admitted. 

“Me too,” I smiled. “I hope that after everything, we all can retire and enjoy the life we have left.”

“Soon this house will be filled with Bucky Jr’s running around,” Natasha winked at me. 

I tensed up at the mention of kids and noticing the uncomfortable look on my face, he motioned towards the door. 

“We should head back.” Steve helped me to my feet, giving my hand a squeeze. 

He knew that I had reverted back to the dark hole with the mention of kids. I hadn’t coped with the loss of our kid, not wanting to come to terms that I could actually have a little Bucky Jr here with me right now. 

Steve wrapped an arm around my shoulders leading me back to the Avengers Compound. 

With a soft sigh, I turned over in bed, staring out the large windows. I could see the sun beginning to rise over the treeline, indicating that I hadn’t slept at all after returning back. Thoughts of the life I could have in this moment kept me awake.

How could I tell Bucky that we should have had a kid by now? 

For a fast moment, I thought of not telling him, to spare him the pain of knowing that we lost a child in the snap. I hated, however, keeping secrets from him. He deserved to know the truth, about everything that happened the last five years. 

Right?

With a loud groan, I tossed off the covers and forced myself to take a shower knowing that today was the day; the day that we would all go back in time to retrieve the infinity stones. I knew that it would work but there was a lingering fear that we wouldn’t get what we wanted without a price. It had always been like that for us, the Avengers. One of us always paid the price for our actions, one way or another. 

Once dressed, I made my way down the elevator to the common area of the tower, where everyone else was waiting for my presence. 

Nat, Clint, Rhodey, and Nebula were sitting at the large table watching as Bruce and Scott went over every detail about going back in time to them. 

Tony and Thor were standing in front of the monitors with Carol, figuring out exactly where we needed to go to get the infinity stones. 

And finally, Steve was sitting by himself in a chair on the other side of the room with a low scowl on his face. I had seen that same scowl many times in the past and it only ever meant one thing. Something heavy was on his mind. 

“Someone’s in a cranky mood for it being so early in the day.” I joked as I sat in the other chair across from him. 

The sight of me brought a smile to his face. 

“Just thinking.” He stated. 

“About what?” 

I could see the hesitation on his face, knowing that he wasn’t sure if he should actually tell me what he was thinking. 

“If this doesn't work, I don’t think I could take the feeling of failure from everyone; especially you. I don’t know what I would do if you hate me because I couldn’t bring Buck back for you,” Steve admitted with a sigh.

“Hey,” I spoke while lacing our fingers together, “I could never hate you, Steve. And this is going to work because it has to. We need to bring them all back, not only for me, but for all of us.” 

I could see in his sad eyes that he still didn’t believe what I was saying so I gently leaned close to him, letting a soft kiss linger on his cheek for a brief second. Turning to look into my own eyes, we were meters apart and I felt his warm breath fan across my lips. 

“I love you too much to ever hate you, Steve.” I muttered my admittance. 

It was brief but I saw the way his eyes darted from my own down towards my lips, slowly licking his own. I couldn’t stop myself from slowly leaning closer to him. 

Dorogaya.

“Hey lovebirds, if you’re done staring lovingly into each other's eyes we can start the meeting now.” 

We both sat back from one another, my glance now on Tony. 

“What’s the plan?” I coughed, hoping that would hide the arousal and redness of my cheeks for what almost happened. 

As Tony went over the teams and who was going where, I felt Steve’s eyes on me the entire time. Daring a glance over to him, my heart hammered in my chest when I saw the look of desire in his face. 

I shifted in my seat once I heard my name being called. 

“Jesus Tony, you’re making me feel like I’m in school again,” I said while crossing my arms. 

“Well if you weren’t giving googly eyes to Rogers, you would have heard what I was saying and I wouldn't have to yell at you,” Tony stated. 

All these years had passed since we fought together in New York and I still hated how much of an ass he was. 

“You, Banner, Lang, and Steve are going back to New York in 2012 to retrieve the time, mind, and space stone. Thor and the badger are going back to 2013 Asgard to get the reality stone.”

“I’m a racoon,” Rocket interjected. 

“Same thing,” I waved him off. “Rhodey and Nebula are going to hitch a ride with Natasha and I to Morag to get the Power Stone while Nat and I go to Vomir for the soul stone.” 

Once finished, I smiled smugly at Tony, knowing that I in fact was listening to him go over the plan while staring at Steve. 

Steve said back in his chair, mirroring his own smug smile, before looking at Tony. 

“Anything else, Mr. Stark?” He joked. 

Tony let out a deep breath while pinching his eyes. “Let’s get suited up then.” 

Before we all left the room, I gave Steve a quick wink and followed Natasha to her living quarters so we could get suited up together. 

[crowsofdarkness]

Vaz Prizrak: Chapter Thirteen

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, violence, mentions of losing a pregnancy, thoughts of taking one's life, an attempt to take one's life. I will give another warning when that chapter is posted.

Summary: Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away.

Authors Note: This takes place during Infinity War and Endgame! If you haven't yet, please read Soldat and Dorogaya beforehand.

Slight mention of someone taking their own life in this chapter, please read with caution!

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole @j23r23 @baw1066 @capswife

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist | Vaz Prizrak Masterlist

A soft breeze blew through the redness of my hair as I ascended up the stairs to my home. The front door was freshly painted yellow, one of my favorite colors, and when I stepped inside everything was not how I expected. 

The furniture that cluttered the home, in the best way possible, had brought a homey feeling deep in my heart. Music played from down the hall and my heels clicked alongside the refinished wood floors and when I came to a stop in the doorway, the man turned and smiled deeply at me. 

“Hey beautiful.”

I laced my fingers with his extended ones and felt my body gliding into his open embrace. 

“It’s our song,” he muttered, lips ghosting over my forehead. 

“Till the end of time. Long as roses bloom in May. My love for you will grow deeper with every passing day.” 

The beautiful lyrics of our song played through my ears and it was then that I realized I hadn’t heard the soft melody in so long. 

“May I have this dance?” 

I nodded, while brushing the lone strand of hair from his face as it fell out of the bun. 

“You can always have this dance, Bucky.” I spoke softly. 

Our bodies swayed together in perfect harmony, the song replaying over and over, this dance becoming second nature to us. We would do this almost every day when we lived in Wakanda and Romania. 

As my cheek was against his chest, I could feel his heart beat in rhythm to the beat of the song. My own heart, however, was beating a mile a minute when I suddenly remembered how I had gotten to this moment, this memory. 

“Bucky,” I looked up at him. “I need to talk to you about something.” 

He immediately hushed me with a firm kiss to my lips. 

“Let’s enjoy this moment, doll.” He said, ignoring me. 

“But I need to tell you,” I started. 

Bucky spun me in his arms and dipped me low, placing another loving kiss against my lips. 

“I can’t wait until we can do this every day. I’ll dance with you until I’m grey and old,” Bucky vowed, pulling me back into his arms. 

Our hips swayed together once more and I realized that no matter how hard I tried to tell him what I needed to talk to him about, he would ignore it. 

“Is this another dream or am I actually dead and in my own kind of heaven?” I wondered out loud. 

The music faded out low and Bucky stepped away from me, his eyes looking deep in my soul. 

“Why would you be dead, Y/N?”

My head cocked to the side, eyes staring back into his own. “You’ve been watching over me, Bucky. You had to know what I did.” 

“Restoring my old childhood home?” He pointed throughout the bedroom we were in. 

It was then that I noticed the wide variety of photos that hung on the walls of the room; pictures of us together and alone. There were also pictures of us with our friends; Steve and Bucky from back in the 40’s, Steve and I when I first joined his team with Shield, and Natasha and I on one of our spontaneous girl weekends.  

Pieces of my heart shattered and fell into the abyss of my stomach as I took in our genuine smiles in the photo. We were so happy that weekend, becoming incredibly close. We both said the weekend was when we became sisters. 

“I miss you so much, Nat,” my voice broke as I traced over her smile. 

“She wanted you to have the life you deserve, doll. She sacrificed it all for us,” Bucky came up from behind, placing a kiss on top of my head. 

“She deserved it more than I do,” I stated. 

Bucky gently pulled me into his arms, forcing my face to look at him. “Why do you think that?”

A soft sob shook its way from my throat. “You’ve seen what I’ve done, Buck. I’ve killed, tortured, and mained people; all for you.” 

“Sleeping with Steve was for me?” He questioned, anger far from his voice. 

Suddenly the room shifted around us and we were now standing in Steve’s room in the Avengers Compound. Two bodies laid together in the sheets, chest rising and falling in sync, and I then noticed it was Steve and I after our night together. He had his arms wrapped around me while my head was laying on his bare chest. 

“Steve?” Bucky wondered with his voice wavering. 

My lips trembled as I tried to hold back the sob. I could hear it in the way he said his name that Bucky was heartbroken at my decision that night. 

“I wasn’t in the right place. We had all just lost Natasha and I felt like it wasn’t worth it anymore. I felt numb all over and no matter what I did, I couldn’t feel anything. I needed to feel something and Steve was there,” I admitted. 

We both continued to stare at the two bodies in the bed. Bucky was standing behind me and I felt myself jump in fear when his cold, vibranium fingers traced a scar on the side of my forehead that reached the top of my ear. 

“Why did you do this?” His breath was warm on my neck. 

The room shifted around us again and this time we were standing on the pier on the lake. A few feet in front of us stood another me, gun clenched tight in hand. 

Bucky had wrapped his arms around me from behind, knowing what was about to happen, and when I jumped in his embrace after the gun had gone off, he held my crying body while we watched my  other self fall into the lake. 

Blood streamed the waters and I tried to get out of his grasp but Bucky held on tight. 

“Watch,” he spoke firmly.

Both of us watched as Steve ran from the compound down to the pier, sheer panic and fear on his face. 

“Y/N!” He yelled before diving into the water. 

The way he screamed my name pained me to the core, realizing how broken I had made Steve because of my decision. Time had passed incredibly slowly as Bucky and I both waited for what was going to happen next. 

Would Steve resurface alone or with my body? And would I be alive or dead? 

“Your decision affected everyone, dorogaya.” Bucky spoke. 

Suddenly, Steve had resurfaced from the water, carrying a limp body in his arms. I gasped when I saw the large wound on the side of the head, blood continuing to pool from it. 

“You’re not leaving me, Y/N. You don’t get to leave me too,” Steve cried before running back inside of the compound, yelling for Bruce. 

“Am I dead? Did I die?” I sobbed, turning in Bucky’s arm to face him. 

He looked at me with a broken expression and cupped my cheek with his flesh hand. His thumb brushed against my cheek bone, wiping away the tears. 

“I’ll see you soon, doll.”

With a fast and firm kiss on my lips, I gripped tightly onto him, not wanting to let him go. 

Sitting up in bed with a loud gasp, I looked around my surroundings but suddenly groaned in pain when I realized how fast I had sat up. 

“CAP! She’s awake!” 

Looking at the doorway, I saw Bruce yelling into the hallway. 

“What?” I asked, my voice coming out raw and broken. 

A new man entered the room and when I took in his disheveled look, my heart hammered hard in the cage in my chest. 

“Y/N,” he breathed a long sigh of relief. 

“Steve.”

[crowsofdarkness]

Vaz Prizrak: Chapter Fifteen

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, violence, mentions of losing a pregnancy, thoughts of taking one's life, an attempt to take one's life. I will give another warning when that chapter is posted.

Summary: Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away.

Authors Note: This takes place during Infinity War and Endgame! If you haven't yet, please read Soldat and Dorogaya beforehand.

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole @j23r23 @baw1066 @capswife

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist | Vaz Prizrak Masterlist

“Y/N?” 

“Doll, you have to wake up.” 

“Come on love, you have to get up. 

“GET UP, Y/N!” 

My eyes snapped open with a sudden alert, fire shooting from my hands towards the man that loomed over me. 

“Hey, it’s me. It’s Steve.” He grabbed my hands, allowing me to calm my fear for a moment.

The pain had set in, deep into my bones, so I let Steve gently pull me to my feet. Our former home that was the Avengers compound laid at our feet in a pile of rubble. 

“Are you okay?” Steve questioned as he gave me a quick once over. 

“Besides the splitting headache, I’m fine. What happened?” 

He looked around, confused, before shaking his head. 

“I don’t know.” He answered. 

“When you mess with time, it tends to mess back.” Tony said, coming behind us. “C’mon, you’ll see.”

He motioned towards the edge of the makeshift cliff made from the debris where Thor stood, staring down at something below. A gasp of horror fell from my lips when I saw what our current situation was; a large space ship floated idly in the sky and someone we never thought we would have to face again. 

Thanos sat waiting for something, possibly a fight. 

“How can this be? You killed him,” I mentioned to Thor. 

“I have no idea,” he shook his head, equally confused as the rest of us. 

“Where are all the stones?” Steve asked. 

“Somewhere under all of this.” 

I nodded. “Good, let’s keep it that way.”

“It’s probably a trap, right?” Thor stated. 

“I don’t much care,” Tony shrugged. 

Thor called Mjolnir and Stormbreaker, lighting striking down around us, while I let the fire burn warm to my fingertips, the flames dancing in sync with the wind. Over the years, I mastered being able to let the fire burn without burning myself or extinguishing on its own. I had also mastered a few other tricks with my flames, others that no one had seen yet. 

But they were about too. 

“Let’s go kill this son of a bitch again. Properly this time,” I fumed while adjusting my mask. 

The strands of my hair had turned to flames, framing my face with a warm sensation. My feet had ascended from the ground, the flames from my hands keeping me up in the air as I floated with the wind. 

“What the hell,” Steve muttered, astonished at what he had just witnessed. 

“I see you’ve been practicing.” 

The familiar voice brought a smirk to my lips before I gave Steve my attention once more. 

“What, this?” I motioned to myself. “Pft, I’ve been doing this for years. 

While they walked their way down to Thanos, I flew above them, keeping a close distance in case they needed help.

“You couldn’t live with your own failure,” Thanos chuckled towards us. 

It was a dark chuckle that made your skin crawl in disgust. 

His speech had fallen on deaf ears as I took in the surroundings. Half of our team was missing, unsure where they had ended up after the blast. It was only us four against Thanos, surly we could handle it on our own. 

Thor’s battle cry gained my attention and within seconds we were all fighting against Thanos. 

Flames shot through my hands, blasting Thanos back against a large pile of debris, and once my feet touched down onto the dirt I cocked my head towards him. The urge to kill filled me to my core.

“You took everything from me,” I fumed. 

Thanos stood, towering over me. “I don’t even know who you are.” 

It was my turn to let out a deep chuckle. 

“Trust me, you will.” 

Raising my hands above me, I manipulated the flames making them grab a large piece of metal and threw it into Thanos’ face. A small trail of blood pooled from his forehead. 

“All that for a drop of blood,” he mused. 

“We’re just getting started,” I promised. 

We were all fighting him again, Steve tossing me his shield every once in a while to get a few good shots with it. With my flames and Tony’s beams, we held him back so Thor could smack him far away from us with his hammer. 

“So kid, any other new tricks you want to show us?” Tony jeered when we had a moment of peace. 

“A few,” I gave a quick wink. 

Moments passed, Thanos getting the upper hand on us, and with the three men scattered far away from me, I knew I was on my own until they could gain their strength once more. 

My body flew through the air towards Thanos, however, he had caught my foot and yanked me down to the ground. He grounded my body with several punches to the face and stomach, the taste of copper pooling in my mouth. He raised his large double sword above me, inches away from my chest. 

“What a pathetic excuse for a human life,” he spat. 

Pupils dilated, I stared up at him with horrendous fear for my life. Thanos was seconds away from ending it all before I even knew if our mission had worked; if Bucky had come home. 

“I didn’t train you to give up so easily.” 

The cool metal from Thanos’ sword pressed deep into my stomach, causing a high pitched banshee scream to erupt from my throat. It did absolutely nothing to phase him. 

Suddenly, he had been smacked away from me and I saw Thor’s hammer flying through the wind. Only it never reached Thor’s hand. It reached someone else entirely. 

Steve stood proudly with his shield in one hand and Mjolnir in the other.

“What the fuck,” I cursed. 

Thor’s voice came through our coms. “I knew it. I knew he was worthy.” 

Winding up the hammer, Steve ran towards Thanos and connected with his face, sending Thanos flying hundred of feet behind us. With the quick break we had, Steve slowly helped me to my feet and winced at the open wound on my stomach. 

“Doll,” he breathed. 

“You guys wanted to see all my new tricks,” I pushed his fingers away from the wound on my stomach.

With flames from my left hand, I placed it over my wound and let out a large hiss as the fire cauterized the wound closed. Even with my super healing, it would have taken a long while for that wound to heal.

“Enough about me though,” I nodded towards the hammer in his hand. “When the fuck did that happen?” 

Steve opened his mouth to speak, however a yell came out of mine when I felt Thanos atack me from behind, sending me far away from Steve. My body collided hard on top of a large rock and  I slowly tried to sit up on my knees but the wind had been knocked out of me. The taste of blood still remained in my mouth and with a defeated groan, I rolled off of the rock onto the dirt. I could barely lift my head to finally look at Steve. 

“No,” I wept with the sight that had just unfolded. 

Thanos’ sword had done the unthinkable; it had broken Steve’s shield in half, pieces lying scattered around him. His body had been thrown closer to me by Thanos’ sword so I tried my best to crawl over towards him. 

“C’mon, we have to get up,” I tried my best to cheer him on. 

Our eyes locked and even though his blue iris shone with so much light, I knew he was scared. Steve was worried that this was the endgame; we wouldn’t be able to stop Thanos this time. 

“What I’m about to do to your tiny little planet, I’m going to enjoy it very much,” Thanos vowed. 

The sky opened above us, thousands of alien species stepping their way through their own makeshift portals.  

Steve and I both helped each other to our feet, him tightening the what was left of the shield so it helped stop the bleeding on the open wound on his arm. The flames crackled to life once more at my fingertips as the two of us stood tall against Thanos’ army. 

“All of my training led you to this doll. This is what you were meant to fight for.”

An annoyed sigh fell through my lips at the familiar voice speaking to my thoughts once more. Noticing the large rip in the left arm of my suit, I yanked it away, displaying my tattoo of the Soldat arm to anyone who chose to look at it.

“I love you Bucky, I really do, but now is not the time to hear your ghost voice in my head again,” I grumbled to myself. 

“Who said anything about a ghost voice?” 

“What?” I uttered. 

“Hey cap, you read me?” 

Steve and I both looked at one another, dumbfounded at the voice we both heard now on our coms. 

“It’s Sam. On your left.” 

Suddenly, hundreds of bright yellow circles appeared in the sky, sparking life around us. There was one circle, however, that we had our eyes trained hard on right in front of us. There was a sense of warmth, familiarity, and love that emanated from it. The type of love that I hadn’t felt in my veins in over five years. 

A lone body stepped through while another flew over us and the reality smacked me hard in the face when I realized that Bucky’s voice wasn’t speaking to me in my mind like it had been all those times before. His soft voice had been coming through the com in my ear this entire fight. 

Standing in front of me, in the same gear he had worn the last time I laid eyes on him, was the love of my life. The man that I had spent the last five years avenging and the man that I vowed to Natasha I would save. 

“Bucky,” I breathed his name. 

I wanted to believe that it was really him but also didn’t want to get my hopes up in case I was actually seeing his ghost again. 

“I’ve missed you so much, dorogaya.” Bucky’s plump lips curled up into an eye crinkling smile. 

[crowsofdarkness]

Vaz Prizrak: Chapter Twelve

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, violence, mentions of losing a pregnancy, thoughts of taking one's life, an attempt to take one's life. I will give another warning when that chapter is posted.

Summary: Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away.

Authors Note: This takes place during Infinity War and Endgame! If you haven't yet, please read Soldat and Dorogaya beforehand.

There is a scene of someone taking their own life, it happens in the last section of the chapter so please read with caution!

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole @j23r23 @baw1066 @capswife

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist | Vaz Prizrak Masterlist

My knees fell hard to the ground, screams bouncing off the walls of the Avengers Compound causing the glass around us to fall like rain. Everyone around me watched in horror as the sobs shook my body to the core as I choked out my words. 

“Y/N? What’s wrong?”

Steve was kneeling in front of me and placed his hands on both sides of my face. He saw the sadness behind my pupils and I knew his heart was breaking knowing that I was in so much pain. 

“Where’s Natasha?” 

I glanced over to Clint, who was confused as to why I returned alone. 

“Y/N, where is Nat?” He asked again, this time with more anger. 

The words couldn’t come out, becoming so foreign, and all I could do was allow Steve to help me to my feet. 

“God damnit, where is she?!” Clint yelled while pulling me from Steve’s grasp. 

His fingers dug deep into my arms under my suit but the pain was numb, not being able to feel an inch of his nails. 

“Back off, Clint,” Steve pushed his way between us. “Clearly she can’t speak.” 

“And I’m supposed to ignore that she left with Nat but came back alone?” Clint seethed. 

Steve and Clint exchanged some not so nice words before my soul snapped back to reality, fire sparking warmth to my fingertips. Blackness clouded my vision while I stepped in front of Steve, blocking the punch from Clint that was about to connect with Steve’s cheek. The flames expanded in front of us, creating a large shield. 

Clint hissed in pain when his knuckles burned from hitting the flames, pulling his hand into his chest. 

“She sacrificed herself for the fucking stone! Natasha killed herself for this piece of shit stone so I could have my happy ending that might not even happen!” My voice boomed with anger. 

I roughly pushed the soul stone into Clint’s chest as I walked away from everyone, ignoring their cries for Natasha. My body couldn't produce any more tears, drying up on the way back to them. I had become completely numb to everyone and everything. Nothing mattered to me anymore, not even getting Bucky back. 

The sounds of birds and grasshoppers were muted as I sat on the bench that faced the lake behind the compound. I stared straight into the waters, letting the feeling of failure etched into my bones the longer I sat there. 

“Dorogaya.” 

I shut my eyes at the familiar voice. It brought some warmth to my cold heart. 

“You need to be strong. We’ll see each other soon.” 

“No,” my lips trembled. “What’s it worth anymore? I’ve lost everyone that I’ve cared about.”

“What about Steve?”

My shoulders raised and slumped. “He’ll be fine without me.” 

“Doll, stop talking like that.” 

“Y/N?” 

Glancing over my shoulder, I tried to give Steve a smile but couldn’t muster the strength. He sat next to me on the bench, letting the calming sound of the water and birds encase us in our own bubble together. 

Steve wrapped an arm around my shoulders, bringing me a bit closer to him. He knew that I was taking the loss of Nat the hardest and even if I said I wanted to be alone, he knew it was a lie. Right now I needed someone more than ever. 

“She always tried to set me up with girls, even when I wasn’t looking for anything,” Steve’s voice was soft. “Nat didn’t know about my past with Peggy so she didn’t know that I wasn’t really looking for anyone.” 

Finally looking into his eyes, I let out a deep sigh. “How could you deal with leaving everyone you know behind after you woke up?” 

It was Steve’s turn to sigh. 

“Trust me, I wanted to give up but when I heard that Peggy was still alive it gave me that strength I needed. I loved her more than anyone,” he admitted while pulling out his old pocket watch that had Peggy’s picture. 

I gently took it from his hands, admiring the beauty that was Peggy back in the 1940’s. Jealousy pulled at my heart when I realized that no matter how Steve felt about me and how much he claimed to love me, I would never be close to what Peggy was to him. 

“I saw her,” Steve admitted. “When we went back for the stones.” 

“You did?” 

He nodded. “I wanted to forget our mission and walk into her arms but something stopped me.” 

“What?” I asked. 

“You. I thought of you immediately.” Steve said. 

I couldn’t help but scoff. “You left Peggy behind for me?” 

“Peggy was my first love but you, Y/N, you’re my current love. I know that you still consider yourself with Bucky and I accept that but with what happened with Natasha, I can’t continue on this mission of bringing everyone back without letting you know how I feel.” 

“Steve,” I started, my voice wavering. “I don’t know what to say.” 

A tear rolled down his cheek as he looked down before locking his gaze with me again. “You don’t have to say anything, Y/N. I needed to know that you know how I felt.” 

“I’m not the same girl you fell in love with all those years ago, Steve. I’m fucked up and a mess. Bucky doesn’t even deserve me if we get him back.” I admitted. 

“We would both love you the same, doll. No matter what you’ve been through or what you’ve done. Only if you’d let us,” Steve said. 

We sat in silence, staring at one another, and when I felt myself pulling towards the soft features of his face I blew out a shaky breath. 

“I need some time alone, I think,” I spoke softly. 

Steve nodded, reluctantly. “I’m on my way to pick up some food for us. Any requests?” 

Immediately I shook my head while walking away from him. “I’m not hungry.”

My mind was swirling with so many emotions. Sadness and grief for losing Natasha less than two hours ago. Shame for the thoughts of giving in so easily, letting everything and everyone go. Confusion with my feelings for Steve and finally, guilt for even thinking of Steve and I together.  

“Please don’t do anything stupid till I get back, okay?” Steve pleaded. 

Turning on my heels, I gave him the best fake smile with a nod. 

The glass shattering of the bottle rang loud throughout my room while I tossed the empty bottle against the wall. Anger radiated through me while I popped open another bottle, dowing the vodka in seconds. What made me angry was the fact that even though this was the fourth bottle I finished, I couldn’t feel an ounce of change in my body. 

“Damn serum,” I cursed to myself when it dawned on me that I couldn’t get drunk. 

I felt water drip down my bare back as I used the air around me to dry off from the shower I had stepped out of moments before. The breeze brought goosebumps to my skin while I stepped into a pair of shorts and a tank top. 

It had been a few hours since Steve and I talked and even though he sent a few texts, I still opted to ignore them. My mind continued to race with thoughts of what I was going to do. Everything felt numb and I needed to feel something, anything.

The clock on the end table told me that it was well late into the night, along with the moonlight that was casting through my room.  I gnawed roughly on my bottom lip, weighing the decision in my brain for a few moments. 

“Fuck it,” I mummbled while leaving my room. 

His room was a few doors down from mine so I reached it within seconds. 

Knuckles rapped on the wood, echoing down the hall, and I bounced on my heels in anticipation. 

“Y/?” His voice was laced with sleep as he rubbed his eyes. 

He stood in front of me in only a pair of grey sweats and his bare chest caused me to roll my tongue over my lips, wanting to taste his skin. 

“Can you promise me something?” I asked. 

Steve nodded. “Always.” 

“Promise that what’s about to happen in this room will stay between us? I need to feel something and if feeling our bodies together causes that then fuck it, let’s do it.” I rambled on. 

“I can smell the alcohol on your breath, doll.” Steve hesitated even though the prompt bulge in his pants said otherwise. 

“I can’t get drunk,” I shrugged. “So what do you say? One night, just us?” 

“What about Buc-?”

“Please don’t say his name or I’m going to second guess myself.” I said. 

We felt the heat between us, ecstasy pooling low in our bellies, and without a second thought our lips were on each other. Tasting each other with our tongues and our teeth smacked against each other. 

Steve wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his room with ease and kicked the door close behind us. 

“Are you sure?” He questioned while nibbling on my bottom lip. 

“Please fuck me, Steve. I need to feel something,” I begged while running my hand through his hair, pulling on the ends. 

A low growl erupted from his throat and he lifted me with ease, my body falling softly onto the bed. He kissed his way up my bare legs and hooked his finger in my shorts, pulling them down quickly. Lust clouded his eyes when he saw my bare mound for the first time. 

“Fuck,” He breathed over my swollen mound. 

I couldn’t help the way my hips rose from the bed, wanting to feel his lips on me. 

“I don’t want to rush this, Y/N. If this is the only time for us, I want to remember every inch of you,” Steve proclaimed before crashing our lips together once more. 

His fingers pulled the tank top over my head and I finally laid under him, completely bare for him to see. My hand ghosted over his dick in his sweats, pressing lightly over it. 

“Y/N,” Steve moaned. 

Before either of us could second guess our decision, we stamped it with one more kiss. We found ourselves not caring if anyone heard our moans through the compound. The only ones that mattered were us. 

Steve slept soundly on the bed behind me, his chest rising and falling with a calming peace. After a few rounds of rolling around in the sheets together, we had decided to call it, sleep slowly over taking him. 

I, however, couldn’t sleep. As I laid next to him, fingers tracing different shapes over his stomach, guilt ate away at me for what we had just done. In the moment, I never felt more alive but now that the ecstasy and lust faded, the guilt was too strong to bear. 

“What did you do, doll?”

My eyes looked away from Steve over to the large window I stood in front of, the lake calling me. 

“I’m so sorry, Bucky,” I sobbed quietly. 

His voice was gone. 

With a shaky breath, I quickly changed into my clothes from earlier and looked into the safe in Steve’s closet. I knew he kept it in here and knew the code. 

3-10-17. 

After I stuffed it into the back of my shorts, my feet tiptoed out of Steve's room, giving him a quick glance. 

The cold air pricked at my skin while I stood on the wooden pier. I couldn’t break my gaze away from the ripples of the water, forcing me in a trance of guilt, shame, and regret. 

“Stevie, I know you can hear me. Please understand that none of this is your fault. I thought it would help me feel better but it only made things worse. I can’t deal with the thought of losing Natasha. If we can’t get Bucky back, I don’t know how I’m going to cope. Please tell him I love him more than anything. I’m so sorry, Steve.” 

Turning on my heels, I looked up to the window that looked into Steve’s room and wasn’t surprised when I saw him standing there, staring down at me. 

“I love you, Steve.” 

I pulled his gun from the back of my shorts and without giving it a second thought, I put it to the side of my head pulling the trigger. 

[crowsofdarkness]

Vaz Prizrak: Chapter Eleven

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, violence, mentions of losing a pregnancy, thoughts of taking one's life, an attempt to take one's life. I will give another warning when that chapter is posted.

Summary: Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away.

Authors Note: This takes place during Infinity War and Endgame! If you haven't yet, please read Soldat and Dorogaya beforehand.

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole @j23r23 @baw1066 @capswife

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist | Vaz Prizrak Masterlist

Laughter was heard throughout the large open space of the garage of the Avengers Compound where we had set up our timemachine. Natasha and I joked with each other before coming to a stop in front of the rest of our team. Steve looked on with a raised brow and a smile pulling at his lips. 

“What?” I wondered. 

“I haven’t seen that smile in a long time,” Steve admitted. 

Natasha bumped her shoulder into me. “She’s got a lot to be happy for. We’re close to getting Bucky back.”

Steve’s lips pressed in a hard line but nodded. 

“We’re getting all of them back,” he stated. 

“Plus,” Natasha started, “We decided that when this is all over that you and Bucky need to take us girls on a vacation. We’re thinking somewhere warm with beaches.” 

She patted Steve’s chest as she walked past him, over towards Clint, and Steve laughed while looking at me. 

“Ready for this?” He questioned, getting very serious quickly. 

I nodded. “As I’ll ever be.” 

We both started walking toward the platform together. 

“We’ll all have our coms on in case anything goes wrong,” Steve reminded me. 

I pulled his hand gently to stop him, seeing a very worried look in his eyes. 

“I will be fine, Steve. We all will be fine.” 

Steve nodded but I knew that he was still unsure about letting me go without him. He made that promise to Bucky before the snap that he would take care of me and with the last five years of me being on my own, Steve had vowed that he wouldn’t let me out of his sight. 

“I still don’t agree that you should be going with Nat. Her and Clint should go to Vomir and you can come with me.” His large arms crossed over his chest.  

A soft sigh fell through my lips. “Do you trust me, Steve?”

Immediately he nodded.

“Then believe it when I say that Natasha and I will be fine,” I reassured him again by placing a hand on his cheek. 

We stood there for a few beats, our eyes locked, but when the urging feeling of jealousy filled my veins I took a step back from Steve. 

It was almost as if his skin shocked my own. 

“Everything alright?” Steve asked. 

“Um, yeah. But we should probably head over to the rest of the team,” I motioned towards everyone who were standing in their own places on the platform. 

Steve knew that even if something was bothering me that now would not be the time to bring it up. We both took our spots on the platform, me standing next to Natasha.

“Five years ago, we lost.” Steve’s captain's voice came out deep and strong. “ All of us. We lost friends. We lost our family. We lost a part of ourselves.”

He then locked eyes with me, the same intense gaze as before.

“Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams, you know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. One round trip each. No mistakes. No do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know, that doesn’t mean we should know what to expect. Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives. And we’re going to win. Whatever it takes.”

Steve reached for my hand, giving it a calming, loving squeeze. “Good luck.”

I nodded with a smile. 

“He’s really good at that,” Rocket spoke. 

“Right?” Scott agreed. 

I placed my mask over my face. “See you in a minute.” 

Steve gave me a warm smile before we all placed our hands in the middle of the platform, our bodies getting sucked into the past. 

“ONE HOUR!’ I yelled down towards Rhodey and Nebula as we dropped them off on Morag. 

As the ramp of the ship closed, I sat back in my seat next to Natasha who put the ship in auto pilot before gluing her eyes on me. 

“What?” I asked. 

A smug smile pulled at her lips while she leaned into her seat. 

“You and Steve?” 

The groan that slipped through my mouth before I could even stop it. I didn’t want her to think I was annoyed with Steve because I was far from that. 

“It’s confusing; I don’t know what’s going on between us.” I admitted. 

“You two have a lot of history that it’s hard to ignore those feelings.” Natasha pointed out. 

“I know,” I nodded. “I feel guilty for even thinking about Steve in that way because Bucky and I never actually broke up.” 

Nat placed a hand on my knee, giving it a squeeze to let me know that she understands. She had been one of my best friends for so long that she knew exactly what I was feeling before I even knew it. We may not share the same DNA but Natasha was my sister and I would die for her. 

“It’s been so long since you’ve had that kindness and lovingness shown towards you. Bucky wouldn’t hold it against you, Y/N. He would understand,” Natasha said. 

My gaze was locked in on my hands as I wrung my fingers together, one of the things I did when I was nervous. “Bucky and I have gone through so much together. I can’t forget that because Steve is creeping back into my life.” 

“No one is telling you to forget that.” Natasha stated. “But Bucky can’t be the only thing holding you back.” 

I looked into her eyes, feeling the guilt pull at my heart knowing I was keeping a large secret from her. We never kept any secrets from each other and I could tell in the way her eyes bore into mine that Natasha knew I was hiding something from her. 

“Steve is the only one that knows about this.” I started. 

“My lips are sealed.” 

She even pulled an invisible zipper over her lips, showing that she meant what she said. 

After letting out a deep breath, I gathered the courage to let the words fall from my lips. 

“Five years ago with the snap, I not only lost Bucky but our baby too.” 

A quiet gasp came from Natasha and her shoulders went stiff. 

“That’s why I went off the deep end after we killed Thanos. I thought that if we brought everyone back that it would also bring back our baby.” 

We sat in silence for a few moments, letting the words sink in deep with Natasha, before a large grin came to her face. 

“I would be the godmother, right?” She questioned. 

The laugh that sounded in the ship caused Natasha to laugh as well. 

“I wouldn’t want anyone else,” I admitted with a smile. 

A loud beeping sounded throughout the ship, letting us know that we had arrived on Vomir. The fog immediately covers our view of the planet. The eeriness of it all caused a shiver to run over my skin. 

“Let’s get this soul stone and bring back your baby daddy. I need to be a godmother as soon as possible,” Natasha smirked while we both stood, ascending down to Vomir. 

Time passed slowly as we both walked side by side on the hard ground, silence engulfing us afraid of making any type of noise. We weren’t sure if there was some form of alien life on here so the last thing we needed was a monster attacking us from behind. 

“Okay, this place officially gives me the creeps,” I said. 

“Y/N Y/L/N. Daughter of Y/F/N.” A deep, echoing voice sounded behind us.

We both turned on our heels and the flames sparked at my fingertips when I heard the mention of my fathers name. I hadn’t thought of my family in years, that part of my life almost forgotten with everything I had dealt with. 

A floating being in a dark cloak stood in front of us but underneath his hood, I saw bright red skin peeking from underneath. 

“You seem very familiar,” I spoke to this being. “How do you know us?” 

“It is my curse to know all who journey here,” he stated. 

With a quick nod over his shoulder, he beckoned us to follow him which we reluctantly agreed. 

“Can we trust this guy?” Natasha whispered over to me.

I shrugged before turning my attention back to the stranger. “How do you know this place so well?” 

“I ,too, sought the stones a lifetime ago,” he said. “But it cast me out here to guide others to something I cannot possess.”

We stopped at the edge of a very tall cliff and Natasha and I eyed each other in concern. 

The stranger looked over the cliff before coming back to us. “What you seek lies in front of you as what you fear. In order to receive the soul stone you must give it something in return; something of which you love.” 

When I realized what he meant, I looked back over to Natasha with a sad gaze. “A soul for a soul.”

The stranger let Natasha and I alone to discuss our options but I had already decided myself of what we were going to do. Daring a quick glance over the edge to the large drop, I looked back towards Natasha. I knew with the look in her eyes that she was thinking exactly the same thing I was.

“You need to make sure to tell Steve and Bucky when you get everyone back that I loved them both,” I told Natasha. 

She shook her head. “You can tell them that yourself.” 

My eyes watched in slight horror as her feet started in a fast run towards the edge of the cliff. Without a second thought, I blasted her away with a fireball, thankfully not injuring her because of her suit. 

“Oh you bitch, that hurt,” Natasha groaned in pain. 

“Give Steve what he always wanted, Nat,” I said. 

My own feet took off towards the cliff but before I could jump off, Natasha had speared me to the ground, before shooting me with her electric bracelet. 

I hissed in pain for a moment before pulling myself to my feet to chase after Nat, who I watched with fear as she made the jump. My fingers gripped hard onto her hand to stop her and I tried with all of my strength to hold her up. I wouldn’t let her sacrifice herself for what I wanted. She deserved more of a happy ending than I did. I refused to let her die for me. 

Tears welled in our eyes as we stared at one another, both refusing to let the other die for them. 

“Please, Nat,” I cried, begging her to not let go. “I can’t live with myself knowing what you’re about to do.” 

“And you think I can?” She asked, a lone tear falling over her cheek.

“Please,” I sobbed. 

“Y/N, it’s okay. You’ll always be my sister.” Natasha vowed. 

“No,” I shook my head, trying with all of my strength to pull her up. 

“You have to let me go, Y/N.” 

Our eyes locked once more and through my teared vision, a banshee scream erupted from my throat when I felt Natasha push herself off of the cliff and from my grasp, her body falling hard to the ground below. 

“NAT!” I bellowed once more. 

Before darkness took over me, the image of Natasha laying bloody on the cold ground was the last thing I remembered. 

My body had been sucked through something that felt like a water slide, the ones you used to be so excited to ride when you were little. Only this one wasn’t fun and I didn’t want to ride because it meant that I was on my way back to the present time, without Natasha.

[crowsofdarkness]

Vaz Prizrak: Chapter Fourteen

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, violence, mentions of losing a pregnancy, thoughts of taking one's life, an attempt to take one's life. I will give another warning when that chapter is posted.

Summary: Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away.

Authors Note: This takes place during Infinity War and Endgame! If you haven't yet, please read Soldat and Dorogaya beforehand.

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole @j23r23 @baw1066 @capswife

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist | Vaz Prizrak Masterlist

“Will you stop it,” I smacked Tony's hand from my face. 

“I don’t understand how you’re alive right now,” He pondered. 

My eyebrows rose at him. “Super healing, remember?” 

“Actually the bullet grazed her head, she’s very lucky to be alive,” Bruce said as he entered the room. 

I still was located in the medical bay of the compound, only waking a few hours ago. Bruce had mentioned that he wanted to keep an eye on me before allowing me back on my feet; even if I healed fast or not. 

From what Bruce had told me is that the bullet in fact only grazed the side of my head but if Steve hadn’t pulled me from the lake, I would have drowned. 

“I still think it’s cool if we tell people that I healed over the bullet but whatever,” I joked with a shrug. 

It was weird. After my almost death experience and that dream of Bucky before waking, I had become my old self again. Joking around with my friends and feeling a sense of happiness fill my veins.

Bruce and Tony shared a chuckle. 

“Is she going to be ready? Just because you tried to end it doesn’t mean we're stopping our plan. We bring everyone back in-,” Tony looked at his watch briefly, “-T-minus two hours.” 

“I’ll be ready,” I nodded afrimly. 

“You need to rest.” 

We all looked into the doorway of the room and Steve leaned against the wooden frame, arms crossed over his chest. 

After I had awoken, Steve had told me that I had been asleep for almost twenty four hours. They all thought I wouldn’t wake up. Steve was more worried than anyone. 

“Let’s give them a minute,” Bruce mentioned to Tony. 

Once we were alone, I patted the empty spot at the end of the hospital bed. 

“I think we need to talk,” I said. 

He nodded. “Only if you’re up for it.” 

I pulled my legs to my chest while sitting up. “I’m sorry for everything I put you through, Steve. It was wrong of me to do that in front of you. And it was so fucking wrong to use you like that.”

“You didn’t use me, Y/N,” Steve said while squeezing my thigh. 

“Didn’t I? I used you for sex hoping to feel something. It’s disgusting,” I scolded myself. 

Steve gave a slight shrug. “It wasn’t that bad.” 

I couldn’t help the giggle that fell through my lips. 

“No it wasn't,” I admitted, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks remembering us together, “But I shouldn’t have done that to you. I’m a terrible person.” 

I tried to look away from him but he wouldn’t allow it, lifting my chin oh so gently to look into his eyes. 

“You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, Y/N. I don’t think of you any less or love you any less for what happened,” Steve avowed. 

A smile played at my lips. 

“I love you too, Steve. Even though our night together was amazing, I can’t do that to Bucky; not again,” I admitted. 

Steve nodded with a sad sigh. “I know. It’s always been hard to compete against him.” 

“Hey,” I spoke while grabbing his hand. “You two are not competing against each other for me. I love you both but with Bucky, it’s more than what I feel with you. It’s because of our past together and what we’ve been through. We were both there for each other through one of the roughest parts of our lives.” 

“Bucky always had been a great guy. He’s lucky to have you,” Steve stated. 

“Promise me something?” 

When he nodded, I continued. “Promise that you won’t let how you feel about me stop you from finding love? Don’t let what happened with you and Peggy happen with us.”

“Only if you promise me something?” 

It was my turn to nod.  

“Promise that you’ll have a room for me when you fix up your house?” Steve smiled with his demand. 

“Deal.” 

My lips reached my eyes with how big I was smiling. We chatted for a while, just the two of us like how it used to be; back in our Shield days together. There wasn’t any awkwardness or fear of hurting the others feelings for what we had decided. 

Steve was the only closest person I had left in my life and I was incredibly grateful that he had chosen to stay alongside me even if I had decided Bucky will forever be the one for me. 

“You know, when this is all done, we should give Natasha a funeral. Even if we don’t have her body, she still deserves it.” I voiced my thoughts to Steve. 

With a quick kiss to the top of my head and a squeeze to my shoulder, he agreed. 

“Hey guys.” 

Both of our attention turned towards the doorway of the room and saw Tony peek his head in. 

“It’s ready,” He announced. 

Steve and I looked at one another before he nodded. “We’ll be there in a minute.” 

“Do you need help walking to your room?” Steve asked once he saw me pulling out my I.V’s. 

I wanted nothing more than to change out of this medical gown and into my tactical suit. 

“Nope. Meet you down there?” 

Steve agreed with a nod. 

With my hands clenched tightly around the necklace Bucky gifted me for my birthday, I listened as the men of my team fought on who would wear the gauntlet. 

“I’m the strongest avenger. I will be the one to do it,” Thor stated. 

Tony quickly shook his head. “It’s not only that the glove is channeling enough energy to blow up an entire continent, you’re in no condition.”

“What do you think I have coursing through my veins right now?��� Thor chuckled. 

“Beer and cheese wiz?” Rhodey suggested.

My boot stomped loudly on the ground, letting the others know how annoyed I was with this petty argument of who’s metaphorical dick was bigger. 

“Jesus, will someone just decide already?!” I snapped getting impatient. 

The gauntlet with all of the infinity stones sat neatly on it’s pedestal in front of all of us, teasing us with the mere thought that we were seconds away from bringing everyone back. And these idiots couldn’t stop fighting on who was going to wear it. 

Steve gave me a disapproving look and immediately I apologized with a shrug.

“We’re so close so sue me for getting impatient.”

“Someone wants to see her lover boy,” Tony wiggled his eyebrows at me. 

“Damn right I do,” I couldn’t help the excitement I felt. 

Before I saw the gauntlet, I had so many doubts that this would actually work; that we would actually be able to retrieve all of the stones and create our own gauntlet. 

I was tired of dancing with Bucky’s ghost in my dreams. I needed to feel his warm embrace around me again. 

There was a lingering thought in all of our minds, however, one that we were all very afraid to ask out loud. 

“Will this bring her back?” 

My attention turned towards Clint and even though he didn't utter her name, I knew he was wondering about Natasha. 

Sadly, I shook my head. “No. What we went through on Vomir can’t be undone. I’m sorry, Clint. She’s not coming back.” 

I swallowed the large lump in my throat to hold back the tears. 

“So we need to do this right; for her,” Bruce suggested. 

We all nodded in agreement. 

“Which is why I need to be the one to wear it,” Bruce continued speaking. “We all saw what it did to Thanos, it almost killed him. None of you could survive.”

The decision was made and final; since Bruce was mostly made up of gamma, he would be the one to make the snap. 

“Remember, bring back everyone who got dusted five years ago to now, today. Don’t change anything from the last five years,” I reminded him. 

“Got it,” he nodded. 

Steve pulled me close to him and slid his mask over his eyes which caused me to place Bucky’s old mask over my own face. Flames sparked to live, creating a shield to protect Steve and I from whatever aftermath would occur from Bruce’s snap. Everyone else protected themselves in their own way. 

“He’s coming home,” Steve nodded towards me. 

Bruce yelled out in pain as the gauntlet came to live, the sparks causing my eyes to sparkle in awe. In one fast snap, he fell to the ground in pain and we all saw his right arm burned and bloody; an aftermath caused by his snap. 

Steve, Tony, and Thor all crowded around Bruce, wondering if he was alright. Scott and Clint had ventured off to the other end of the room, muttering something to themselves, something that we couldn’t hear.

“Did it work?” I asked everyone. “How do we know if it worked?” 

They looked at me, smiles wide on Clint and Scott’s faces, but I couldn’t ask why they were so ecstatic. I then realized that we were missing someone who had been on this mission from the get go.

“Where’s the robot?” I asked.

A thunderous boom shook the building and our bodies to the core as fire rained down upon us, encasing us in debris and darkness. 

[crowsofdarkness]

Vaz Prizrak: Epilouge

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, violence, mentions of losing a pregnancy, thoughts of taking one's life, an attempt to take one's life. I will give another warning when that chapter is posted.

Summary: Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away.

Authors Note: The end for the trilogy is finally here! I also wrote a one shot that takes place between Dorogaya and Vaz Prizrak. I'll link it at the bottom. I know Bucky's story continues on in The Falcon and Winter Solider but I have no plans on continuing this story for that storyline. It ends here for these two 🖤

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole @j23r23 @baw1066 @capswife @winterassassin1804

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist | Besplatno One Shot | Vaz Prizrak Masterlist

The sound of laughter and hushed voices woke me, eyes opening slowly to allow the morning sun to adjust to my gaze. The windows were open wide, birds chirping and the loons on the lake were my usual wake up call. Not the loud noise of pans and plates clattering to the ground, breaking. 

I rolled out of bed, throwing Bucky’s shirt from last night over my body and quickly stepped into a pair of shorts. The coldness of the floors tickled my bare feet as I tiptoed my way down the long hallway towards the voices, who tried their best to keep quiet but failed. 

While I leaned against the wall that faced the kitchen, the three bodies had their backs turned to me but I couldn’t keep a straight face when I saw the mess of eggs and flour all over the kitchen counter and floors. A grin spread widely to my lips as I thought about how we had gotten here, a very long and hard road. 

“Bucky, please drop it,” I sighed as we walked into our bedroom.

“I don’t understand why you get so weird and defensive when I bring up kids. It’s been two years, doll.” Bucky said with slight annoyance. 

“I’m not ready yet.” I lied while I changed into a pair of pajamas. 

We had returned from Steve’s place after our weekly dinner night with him and Sam. Every time, Bucky would bring up kids but I would always find a way to deter the conversation. I continued to lie to him, saying that I’m not ready for kids, but in truth I was afraid of telling him about the one we lost during the snap. I had kept that secret from him for so long, what would stop him from leaving me because of it?

“You’ve said that for the last two years. How much longer am I going to have to wait?” Bucky asked exasperated, pinching his eyes closed. 

“Can we please talk about something else,” I begged while climbing into bed. 

Bucky remained standing at the end of the bed, hands stuffed deep into his jean pockets. “Do you not want to have kids with me?” 

My heart shattered, falling into the pit of my stomach at the brokenness of his voice, hearing the waverness of it. His chest rose and fell heavily, awaiting my answer. 

I knew that I couldn’t keep the secret buried away any longer; he deserved to know the truth. 

Sitting up on my knees, I reached for his vibranium hand, pulling him down to our bed. He sat next to me and linked our fingers together. 

“I want to have kids with you, Bucky. I want to have little feet running up and down these halls. But there’s something I have to tell you.” 

Feeling waves of dread radiating off of him, I squeezed his hand. 

“Back in Wakanda after Thanos snapped half of the population away, I not only lost you but our baby was snapped away,” I finally admitted after all these years. 

Bucky’s eyes widen slightly at the news, heavy, deep, breaths escaping through his nose. 

“You were pregnant?” He asked after a moment of silence. 

I nodded. 

“Two years later after getting you back, I still don’t understand why our baby hasn't come back. So I’m afraid of trying again. What if I can’t get pregnant because of what happened?” 

Bucky gently lifted me into his lap, hands sprawled over my hips. He gave them a reassuring squeeze, something he did quite often to let me know that he wasn’t upset with me. 

“Why didn’t you tell me years ago?” Bucky questioned. 

“You were finally back and in such a good place, mentally. I couldn’t ruin that,” I admitted. 

He brushed his nose against mine, a comforting action from him that I adored. 

“Please don’t worry about ruining anything.” 

I nodded, finally feeling a weight being lifted from my shoulders. That admission had been weighing me down for so long and I knew that it was getting in between us from moving onto the next stage of our relationship. 

“Are you mad?” I questioned while locking my arms around his neck. 

My fingers played with the ends of his short hair. 

“Of course not, doll.” 

Sighing in relief, I laid a soft kiss over his plump lips. “I love you, Bucky.” 

Another shared kiss between us. 

“I love you too, dorogaya.”

Two months later, I screeched in joy at the two pink lines on the stick I had clutched tightly in my hand. Bucky was ecstatic at the news that he danced with me throughout our entire home, Ivan following behind with a happy expression. 

I coughed, finally gaining the attention of the three bodies in the kitchen. They all turned on their heels with a guilty expression on their faces. 

Wth my arms crossed over my chest, I nodded towards the mess. 

“Who’s to blame for the mess?” I mocked angrily. 

The two looked at each other before pointing up towards Bucky’s. 

“It was his idea!” They shouted at the same time. 

Bucky’s lips parted, a shocked expression on his face. “You guys threw me under the bus that fast?” 

“It’s mom! If we lied, she probably would have set the room on fire!” 

I scoffed. “I did that one time! You girls won’t let me live that down?” 

The young brunette shook her head. “Mom, you burned down our playroom because dad ate the last brownie.” 

Bucky bit back a laugh, remembering the memory that happened only a few months ago. 

“You know, for only five years old, you girls are savages,” I giggled while ruffling their hair. “So whose bright idea was to bake a cake at eight in the morning?” 

The young blonde raised her hand high. “It was mine! Dad said it would make you less mad with us.” 

I raised my brow at the curly haired girl. “Less mad for what?” 

The two girls looked at Bucky, slight fear on their tiny faces. 

Suddenly, Ivan started barking and scratching at the girl's bedroom door, something getting his attention. 

“Natasha and Rebecca Barnes, why is Ivan trying to break down your door?” I questioned while pointing towards it. 

The twin girls shared a quick look before sprinting towards their room, hoping to stop me from entering inside. Even if their hair color were different, they were the spitting image of each other and their father, when he was their age. 

“Bucky?” I questioned, looking over towards him. 

“Don’t be mad, doll.”

He placed his hands on my shoulders, lightly rubbing them, as he led me towards our daughter's bedroom. 

Natasha, the blonde, had her hands behind her back while sitting on her bed. Rebecca was sitting on her own bed, holding Ivan away from Natasha. 

“Natasha, I swear to everything good in the sky if there is a rodent behind your back, I will shoot fire out of my hands towards it,” I said sternly. 

As strong of a woman and fighter I was, rodents were something that I couldn’t deal with. One of my biggest fears. 

Slowly, Natasha pulled the fury creature from behind her, the white fur shining bright in the sunlight. It was purring loudly, excited for all the love it was getting from Natahsa. 

“Where the hell did that come from?” I cursed. 

“Language,” Bucky breathed in my ear. 

“Girls, where did you find the cat?” I questioned. 

Bucky kept rubbing my shoulders, hoping to ease the tension I felt building in them. 

“Her name is Alpine. She was outside, covered in mud and starving!” Rebbecca claimed while sitting next to her sister. 

“Dad said that we could bring her inside and keep her!” Natasha stated. 

I peaked over my shoulder towards Bucky, who wore a sorrowful look on his face. The guilt radiated off of him onto my skin, making it crawl. 

“They were so happy, doll. I couldn’t say no!” He defended. 

With a long sigh, I gave our daughters a nod, letting them know that they could keep the cat; on one condition. 

“You two have to feed her and clean the litter box every day,” I pointed towards them. 

“We already do!” Rebecca stated with a smile. 

My eyes widened. “How long have you been hiding the cat in here?” 

Bucky bit his bottom lip, not wanting to say, but with the look I was giving him, he knew that if he wanted to sleep in the bed tonight that he would. 

“A week.” 

Rolling my eyes, I walked out of the girls room and out towards the back deck, needing fresh air. I sat on one of our many deck chairs, slowly steading my breaths. There were a few moments of peace, the lake immediately calming my rising blood pressure. I couldn’t afford to let the stress bother me. I needed to take it easy. 

“Y/N?” 

Bucky walked outside, kneeling in front of me and laced our hands together. 

“Are you upset?” He questioned. 

I shook my head. “No. I’m only worried about the responsibility. Now really wasn’t the best time for a new pet, Buck.” 

He nodded, placing his vibranium fingers over my growing stomach. A smile pulled to his lips when he felt a small kick. 

“I know I should have talked to you about it, doll, but the girls were so happy. There’s a lot of change coming in just a few weeks, they deserve something that will make them happy.” 

I nodded, agreeing with Bucky’s statement, while he played with my fingers on my left hand. The black stone caught the sunlight, nearly blinding us, and the gold band matched the glow. It mirrored the necklace that Bucky bought me on my birthday back in Bucharest. I still wore it to this day. Bucky wore a black ring to match, however it was on his right hand. 

“I think I’ve got enough metal on my left hand.” 

“Do you ever wish that you had your big wedding?” Bucky wondered out loud. 

Without hesitation, I shook my head. “Our wedding was everything I could ever want. Us, Steve, and Sam. In front of our lake and in our own home. That’s the kind of wedding I dreamed of, Bucky.” 

To put the stamp on that answer, I gave him a loving kiss on his lips. With the heat radiating off of him and his hands digging deep into my hips, I ran my hand through his hair, pulling on the ends. 

“GROSS!” 

We both pulled away and looked towards the back door, our daughters watching us with a disgusted look. Bucky and I shared a laugh while I wiped my lips with a finger. 

“Do you girls need something?” I asked with a smile. 

Natasha pointed inside. “Uncle Sam and Uncle Steve are here. They sent us to ask you something.” 

“Can we have some cake?” Rebecca asked, interrupting her sister.

Bucky shook his head. “Leave it to your uncles to fill you up on sugar when they’re not the ones that have to deal with you tonight.”

I immediately waved him off, while asking him to help me to my feet. Eight months pregnant with a super soldier’s baby made it nearly impossible to do anything on my own. 

“I think cake for breakfast is a wonderful idea!” I smiled, giving kisses to the top of my daughter's head. “Don’t you think babe?” 

Bucky stared at me with love and adoration in his eyes before breaking out into a large grin, a sweet laugh escaping his throat.

“I think your brother is the one who wants cake for breakfast, not your mother,” he joked while wrapping an arm around me, leading us all inside. 

Our lives had been everything we ever wanted and reamed of, a beautiful family with healthy kids and animals. No thoughts of a war looming or death awaiting one of us from an enemy. We both had gone through hell in our past, together and alone, but that’s what made us stronger. 

Bucky would always be my Soldat and I, his dorogaya. 

[crowsofdarkness]

Dorogaya: Chapter Two

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, kidnapping, violence.

Summary: It has been a few years since Bucky and Reader went into hiding. Just when they thought they were slowly building a life together, the past comes back with a vengeance.

Authors Note: This is the sequel to Soldat! You should read that series first. This takes place during Civil War. Tags are open if anyone is interested!

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist

Whoever created the saying ‘you can cut the tension with a knife’ had never been more wrong. Someone would need a power saw to cut the tension between Bucky and I. After the little disagreement we had, we both went to sleep with our backs turned towards each other. It was well into the morning and not one word had been spoken between us. 

Bucky was in the bathroom, getting ready for our market trip, while I was standing at the counter with my back turned towards the bathroom and making a list of everything we needed. Despite the bad end to my night, I had managed to make decent money at work so we were able to buy more than usual. 

Sensing Bucky’s warmth behind me, I continued to ignore him as I double counted the money. It became incredibly hard to ignore him when his scent filled my nose, sending chills throughout my body. We stood shoulder to shoulder as he looked over some of his knives before pocketing them. 

“You haven’t brought your knives with you in almost a year,” I spoke softly. 

He shrugged and I felt him slip one into my back pocket. His hand lingered for a quick second before pulling away. 

“I have a weird feeling.” He admitted. 

Bucky went to walk away but I placed a hand on his broad chest to stop him. His eyes looked into my own and I could sense the disappointment lingering off of him. 

“I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I’ve been so upset with what Hydra did to me that I forgot for a second of what you went through. It was wrong of me to be so ‘woe is me’ when you’re going through the same thing; only worse.” 

He sighed and placed his flesh hand over mine that was still placed on his chest. He gave it a quick squeeze. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have shut you out the way I did. The past few days I haven’t been able to shake this feeling that something is going to happen.”

I looked at him confused. “Like what?” 

“I don’t know,” he shook his head. “We should get going.” 

Bucky dropped my hand to place his hat over his head and he went to hand me mine but I declined. 

“I think my new hair color is going to be enough of a disguise,” I joked while throwing it up into a messy bun. 

“I still can’t believe it changed that quick,” Bucky said. 

A large groan left my lips. “I know. I thought about dying it to my original color but who knows that it won’t change back.” 

Bucky shrugged. “I kind of like it.” 

“Oh you do, huh?” 

I could stop the small giggle I let out as the air around us shifted. The anger between us dissipated and was replaced with sexual tension. Bucky closed the distance between us in one large step and his metal fingers tangled in my hair, releasing it around my face. 

“I also like it when it’s down,” Bucky mused, his voice getting deeper. “Easier to grab.” 

His fingers gently grabbed the back of my skull and pulled my lips closer to his. 

Clearing my throat, I tried to think of something to say back. But with the intense sexual feeling that was warming my insides, my brain went to mush. Lust clouded around us, creating a small bubble with only the two of us. We were blocked out from the rest of the world. I stumbled over my words and could feel Bucky’s warm breath fanning over my lips. 

“Y/N,” he breathed. 

“Yes?” 

Bucky opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to find the right words to say. But he wasn’t able to speak because my phone ringing from the counter brought us back to reality. I felt him start to pull away so I gently grabbed his hips. 

“I have voicemail,” I reminded him. 

He shook his head, embarrassment causing his cheeks to turn red. “It’s okay. We should really get going.” 

And suddenly the bubble around us popped. 

Letting out a sigh, I reached for my phone. Bucky slipped on his glove over his metal hand so he hadn’t noticed the look of shock on my face when I read the new text message. 

Make sure to bring an umbrella today. I’m seeing a chance of rain.

The number may have been unknown but I didn’t matter. I knew who it came from. 

“Who was it?” Bucky questioned from behind. 

“No one,” I shook my head while pocketing my phone. “Ready?” 

Bucky knew I was hiding something but thankfully he decided not to press the issue. We both walked out of the apartment and I suddenly had the same feeling that something was about to happen today. 

Something we weren’t prepared for. 

Giving the old lady a quick smile of thanks, I placed the bag of apples in the one I had brought from home and looked around for Bucky. He mentioned that he needed to run a personal errand once but that was a while ago. I started to worry that something might have happened to him, especially after receiving the text message earlier. 

“Looking for someone?” 

Jumping at the deep voice, I looked over my shoulder and smiled at Bucky. “Find what you need?” 

He nodded before slowly pulling out a small box from his pocket and handed it towards me. I took it without saying a word and when I opened it, a small gasp left my lips. Inside was a small necklace. A black gem shaped as a circle was in the middle and gold surrounded it. 

“What is this?” I asked. 

“Happy Birthday.” 

My eyes snapped away from the necklace and over to Bucky. His hands were deep in his pockets, something I noticed he did when he was nervous. 

“You remembered?” 

It was right when we first arrived in Bucharest, one of the earlier nights, we stayed up as he listened to me go on about my life before SHIELD; my childhood, my family, and the time I spent in the FBI and SWAT. 

Bucky nodded. “I know it’s not much but it’s all I could afford.” 

Immediately shutting him up, I placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “It’s absolutely perfect, Bucky. Thank you.” 

Tears brimmed in my eyes as I turned my back to him, allowing him to place the necklace on my neck. Bucky’s breath fanned over the back of my neck and chills took over my body. His hands rested on my hips from behind and his soft lips left a kiss on the side of my neck. 

“I’m sorry if it seems like I’m taking things slow between us. I’m trying to remember how to do all of this.” Bucky admitted with a hushed tone. 

“It’s alright. I don’t want you to do anything that you’re not comfortable with.” I leaned my head against his shoulder. 

My fingertips played with the necklace and my heart warmed with the thought that Bucky had wanted to get me a present. 

Bucky brushed his lips against the side of my head and motioned towards the plum stand that was a few feet in front of us. 

“Alright, let’s get some plums then head back home.” 

His metal arm wrapped around my shoulder as he led me towards the stand. I remained quiet as I watched Bucky converse with the lady in Romanian, asking if the plums were good today. After he bought five, he looked down at me with a small smile. 

“What?” He asked.

“I like it when you speak Romanian,” I admitted while biting my lip. 

Suddenly the air around us shifted and Bucky noticed it as well. He pulled me closer to him and looked around the market. His body went rigid with tension and I quickly took the bag of plums from the lady then we both rushed our way home. 

We came to a stop as we were getting ready to cross the road, however, Bucky’s eyes landed on a man that was working at a newsstand. The man watched our every movement with fear in his eyes. 

“We’ve been made,” Bucky muttered. 

My eyes doubled. “What? Are you sure?”

He discreetly nodded towards the man, who now left his stand, and we both crossed out way over to it. Bucky looked around while my eyes went straight to the newspaper from today and what I read on the front page dropped my heart straight to my stomach. Even though I couldn’t read Romanian, the only words I needed to know were Winter Soldier. 

“Bucky,” I stammered while showing him the front page. “What does this say?”

“I’m wanted for bombing the U.N in Vienna.” 

His heart hammered in his chest and his breath quickened. After he threw the paper back on the stand, he brought me into his chest and started walking back towards our apartment. It was only a few minutes from the market so thankfully we could get out of hiding fast. 

“What are we going to do?” I trembled. 

“It’s okay,” Bucky reassured me. “Let’s just get home. We’ll figure it out.” 

Once we were safely inside the complex, Bucky and I both rushed up the stairs but he came to a quick halt right outside the door. His shoulders went straight and he brought out a knife from his pocket. 

“What is it?” 

“Someone’s inside,” he muttered nodding towards the door. 

“Seriously? Who found out where we live?” I thought mostly towards myself. 

Bucky went to go inside but I stepped in front of him to stop him. “Let me go first. Police are looking for you, not me. If they’re inside, I can distract them long enough for you to make a run for it.”

He shook his head. “I’m not leaving you, Y/N.” 

“I’ll be okay. We’ll meet at that place in the mountains.” 

We had a small house up in the mountains that we were using as a safe house in case something like this were to happen. Giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, I entered the apartment with the knife clutched hard in my hand. I sensed a body as soon as my feet crossed the threshold and once I saw who exactly was in the apartment, the knife clattered to the ground causing him to turn on his heels, shield drawn high ready to fight. 

All of the past feelings slammed into me like a brick wall and even under the mask, I could tell that his face was showing the effects of how tired he was, his eyes shined a little less than they used too. 

We stared at each other for a few long moments before he placed the shield on the counter. “Happy Birthday, Y/N.” 

Swallowing the very large lump in my throat, my voice had come out way more shaky than I had intended. 

“Steve.” 

[crowsofdarkness]

Dorogaya: Prologue

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, kidnapping, violence.

Summary: It has been a few years since Bucky and Reader went into hiding. Just when they thought they were slowly building a life together, the past comes back with a vengeance.

Authors Note: This is the sequel to Soldat! You should read that series first. This takes place during Civil War. Tags are open if anyone is interested!

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist

Letting out deep breaths, I continued up the stairs to the sixth floor of the apartment complex I had called home. It was after midnight but that didn’t stop the neighbors from blaring their music or have yet another argument. My nose scrunched up in disgust as the familiar smell of garbage and body odor filled the air and after finally making it to my floor, I knew I had one more obstacle to cross before making it inside safely. 

The next door neighbor that every single night for the past week had tried asking me out. My Romanian was a bit rusty but I knew when a guy was hitting on me. 

“Hey beautiful.” 

Groaning at the gruff voice, I turned on my heels and gave him a curt nod. “Hi.”

I went to unlock the door but could feel his presence creep closer towards me. My fingers slipped into my pocket and slowly pulled out my knife. 

“Fundul tău arată bine în blugi acei.” He placed his arm against the doorframe to my apartment, trapping me between him.

I scoffed. “I may not know much Romanian but I don’t need to be fluent to know that when someone is talking about how good my ass looks in my jeans.”

His mouth opened to speak but the door opened behind me. I didn’t have to look who opened the door, I could tell from the heat radiating off the body. And the feelings that weren’t my own of jealousy and rage filled my veins. 

“Totul in regula?” Everything alright?

I looked over towards Bucky and nodded. “I’m fine, Bucky.” 

The creep took in one quick glance of Bucky before retreating back into his apartment, clearly not knowing I was living with a man twice his size. 

Bucky remained blocking the doorway and when I looked into his eyes, I found myself sucking in a breath. In the week we’d been in hiding, he had let his beard grow a bit more and it was now that I realized how blue his eyes were; a deep ocean. Licking my lips, I stood taller after realizing how close we were standing and nodded behind him. 

“Are you going to let me in?” I joked. 

After giving me a small smile, he stepped to the side allowing me to walk past him inside. He did a quick glance around the landing and staircase before shutting the door behind us. The sound of locks clicking together sounded behind me as I looked around our new home. 

It wasn’t the best apartment by any means. I did have money saved up, enough to get us by for a while, but I had to do what I could to save it. Bucky had no money so it was up to me to provide for us. I didn’t mind at all but we had to make some sacrifices and a nice apartment was at the top of the list. 

Newspapers lined all of the windows, not allowing anyone from the outside to look in, even though we were on the sixth floor. There was the bathroom to my left and the only thing good about it was the bright blue towel we had hanging on the almost broken towel bar. The paint was peeling all over the apartment but it didn’t bother us. We only had one bed, well more so a mattress, and it laid on the floor of the apartment. We each had one pillow and there was only one blanket. We were also able to find a couch for pretty cheap at the local market in town and that’s where Bucky slept every night. 

He still didn't feel comfortable with sharing the bed with me and not wanting to push him, I agreed that he could have the couch. I did have to admit, it was adorable seeing how small he made the couch look while laying on it. 

The kitchen would become cramped when both Bucky and I tried cooking something at the same time; which wasn’t often since we had opted for getting food delivered. 

For the first few days of living here we tried our best to stay inside, opting to go out into public if we absolutely needed to. And when we did, we wore anything to help conceal our identity. I went out more than Bucky would, him being afraid someone from his past would recognize him. 

It was then that I noticed he had made a make-shift shelf with a few two by fours and cement blocks. 

“You love to read so I thought I could make you something that you could put your books on,” he said when he noticed me staring at it. “It may be a bit shaky.” 

Immediately I waved him off. “It’s perfect. Thank you.” 

We both stood in our respective places, staring at each other, and the feeling of desire warmed my insides. Bucky must have noticed because he shook his head, letting out a quiet scoff. 

“Stop that.” Was all he said. 

“It’s not my fault!” I defended myself. “I can’t help it that I can not only feel your pain but your feelings too!” 

“I’ve been thinking,” He started, immediately changing the subject.

“What about?” I questioned while putting away the groceries. 

Bucky’s hands grazed over mine as he took the box of spaghetti from me and placed it in the top cabinet; the one I couldn’t reach. His back was to me so I could see the way his shoulders tensed and I felt fear cloud my mind. 

“Bucky,” I spoke softly while placing a hand over his flesh arm. “What’s wrong?”

He remained silent but gave a quick look over his shoulder to the door, eyes trained hard against it. His eyebrows scrunched together and he tilted his head to the side, almost mimicking an animal that heard something off in the distance. 

Oh. 

“Do you hear something?” I asked. 

Every footstep or every voice put Bucky on high alert, especially with the super soldier hearing. He found himself staying up way after I had gone to bed, sitting on the couch with his eyes and ears on the door. He wouldn’t admit it to me but I knew he was terrified of Hydra finding him again, turning him back into Soldat. 

“It’s nothing,” he reassured me before busying himself with unloading the rest of the stuff I had picked up from the store. “I still don’t understand why you have to go late at night.” 

I shrugged. “Less people and less chance of someone recognizing me.” 

“More creeps,” Bucky reminded me. 

“I am more than capable of taking care of myself,” I stated back with a smile. “You’re not the only one that’s good with a knife.” 

And if that wasn’t enough to reassure him that I could handle my own, I snapped my fingers together causing a small flame to spark between them. Bucky held his hands up, knowing when he lost the argument and we continued to put everything away in silence. 

“Bucky, I’m home!” I called, entering the small apartment. 

Soft music came flooding into the room from the outside and I followed it to the balcony. A smile spread to my lips as I took in the sight in front of me. Bucky was sitting in one of the fold up chairs with the leather bound journal in his lap. It could see that there were sentences upon sentences written. The soft tune of a song from the 1940’s played on his phone but what warmed my heart the most was seeing Bucky finally using the journal I had bought him. 

I bought it shortly after we settled because I thought it would be a good idea for him to write down anything he would remember; a memory or even him remembering that he loved plums. This was the first time in six months that I had seen him open it. 

“Keep staring at me and your eyes are going to be stuck.” Bucky joked while closing the journal. 

Oh, I don’t think I would mind one bit. 

“I really hate your super hearing. I bet you could hear me the second I stepped foot into the building,” I smiled while sitting on the chair opposite of him. 

“How was work?” He questioned. 

He went to turn off the music but I stopped him, saying that I didn’t mind it. 

“It was okay. The really bad bar creeps seem to come out in the day rather than night,” I shrugged. 

I had been bartending at the pub across the street for a few months now and while it was true that the daylight seemed to bring out the worst of the creeps of Bucharest, the money was really good so I tried not to complain too much. 

Bucky’s heart rate sped so I placed a hand on his knee, letting him know that I was fine. “No one bothers me, Bucky.”

I kept my hand on his knee when I realized that it wasn’t making him uncomfortable. Even though we had been with each other every day for the last six months, we still had yet to make a move on taking whatever relationship we had to the next level. I promised him one night that I wouldn’t push him, let him find himself first, then we can talk about our relationship. We were friends living together. 

“I’ll let you get back to writing,” I motioned towards his journal while standing up. 

“You’re not going to ask what I’m writing?” He wondered, confusion on his face. 

I mirrored my own confusion to him. “Why would I? Those are your private thoughts, Bucky. I won’t read them unless you want me to.”

Turning my back to him to enter back into the apartment, I felt cold fingers lace with my own and tugging me back towards him. “Hm?” 

He remained silent, only bringing my hand to his lips and I felt warmth spread through me when he laid a soft kiss on my knuckles. 

“Thank you, Y/N” he breathed against my knuckles. 

“Anything for you, Bucky.” 

I tossed and turned on the mattress, a quiet groan slipped through my lips. My fingertips padded on the mattress next to me for my phone and when I saw what time it was, another groan slipped out. It was after two a.m and I had been trying to fall asleep for the last 3 hours. Bucky and I had spent the last few days finally getting our apartment settled after I had worked three doubles in a row. Needless to say I was exhausted. 

Forcing my eyes shut, I placed a pillow over my face, hoping that would help. However, I sat up with a start as I heard whimpering coming from the body next to me. Bucky was fast asleep on the couch; or so I thought. 

His large body twitched and in the dim light, I could see the lines of his mouth pulled together in a hard line. The feeling I had surging through me told me one thing; he was having a nightmare. 

In the year of living with him and sleeping next to him, I had yet to notice him have a nightmare. I knelt on the mattress and gently placed my hand on his metal arm while giving him a quick shake. 

“Buck? Are you alright?” I whispered. 

Bucky’s eyes snapped open and the fingers of his metal arm wrapped around my throat cutting off my airway with a gasp. My body fell onto the mattress while Bucky straddled my hips. His eyes were gone, almost black, as he stared into me. I could feel his heartbeat quicken as the grip on my throat tightened. 

“Bucky,” I tried to cough out. 

My hands scratched and smacked his arm but failed. I didn’t want to have to use my powers to stop him, refusing to use it against him, but I knew if I didn’t, he would kill me. The air within slowly started to leave my body and I felt the darkness looming so with a quick snap of my fingers I felt the warmth spread through my hand. 

Wrapping my hand around Bucky’s flesh bicep, his metal one released my throat as a loud hiss escaped his throat. The air returned and I coughed loudly a few times, trying to swallow as much air as I could. Curling my hand into a fist, the fire evaporated and I felt Bucky’s body still on mine. 

“Y/N?” He asked, voice trembling. “What did I do?” 

He could tell in the dim light that marks were starting to form around my throat, guilt pulling at his heart. 

“I’m okay,” I reassured him. “You were having a nightmare and I made the mistake of trying to wake you.” 

“No,” Bucky shook his head while climbing off of me. “I could have killed you.” 

“But you didn’t.” 

I knelt in front of him and reached for his hand however he snatched them away from me. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I should go-.” 

“Bucky, stop! I’m okay!” I gripped his hand to keep him in place. “Call us even, okay?” 

I motioned to the red mark on his bicep when he looked at me confused. “I’m sorry for waking you. They’ve never been this real before.” 

“You’ve had nightmares before?” I questioned. 

We slept next to each other for the past year and I hadn’t even noticed that he was struggling with this. 

“The screams. It’s the screaming of them that haunts me.” He stuttered. 

I felt the sadness drowning me so I placed my hands on the sides of Bucky’s face and made him look at me. “It wasn’t you. What you did, that wasn’t you.” 

“But I did it.” His shoulders raised and slumped down with regret. 

Ignoring the voice of doubt that resided in the back of my mind, I knelt up closer to Bucky and laid a gentle kiss on his forehead. His hands immediately grasped my hips and squeezed. 

“C’mon, lets get some sleep.” I motioned for him to lay on the mattress next to me. 

Bucky refused, afraid that if another nightmare took over what he would do. But I wouldn’t take no for an answer and pulled him down next to me. 

“Is this alright?” I asked as I laid my head on his chest. 

His heart pounded against the cage of his chest and I placed my hand on top of it, almost trying to calm him. Bucky’s breathing slowed and his metal arm wrapped around my back pulling me closer to him, letting me know that he was in fact fine with it. 

That night was the last time we slept separate and the last time Bucky would have a nightmare for a long time. 

“My God,” I gasped while my eyes scanned the article I was reading on my laptop. 

Avengers cause destruction in Sokovia. 

The article was a handful of months old, me just now getting my hands on a laptop. Bucky and I had spent the entire time here in Romania trying to stay away from the media, not wanting to know what was going on in the world and not wanting to be in the spotlight

Scrolling farther into the article, I read that Tony Stark and Bruce Banner had created Ultron who now  was on a mission to destroy everyone on earth; only wanting metal to live here. The Avengers, along with these enhanced twins, were trying to stop him. 

I couldn’t help but feel sadness and jealousy when I continued to read how the Avengers fought together against this Ultron. I could have been fighting alongside them, saving the world. But I knew that my place was here with Bucky. 

The mouse ghosted over a video on the article and after looking around the apartment to make sure Bucky wasn’t around, I clicked it open while holding my breath. 

Everyone from my former team was fighting these robot soldiers for the first half of the clip but when it cut to a different video, I sucked in my breath. Steve’s face popped up as was shown saving so many people, leading them to an old SHIELD helicarrier.. My heart ached wanting to be with him, fighting with him, and wanting to feel his body against my own once more. 

For the first few months, Steve’s face would cloud my dreams and I found myself missing him terribly every night. I told him to not look for us but a part of me knew that he wouldn’t abide by my wishes. I knew him and Sam were doing everything they could to find us. 

But now, over two years later, I found myself regretting my decision to leave; only slightly. 

“What are you watching?” 

Jumping at the voice, I went to close my laptop but a metal hand stopped me. Bucky’s eyes scanned over the article before he watched the video I had just finished watching. His face was unreadable but what scared me the most was that I could feel what he was feeling. 

Maybe I was having an off day. 

“Stark? Why do I know that name?” He wondered, mostly to himself. 

“He’s one of the richest men in New York. He also helped find The Avengers.” I said while placing my laptop on the kitchen table. 

“The Avengers?” Bucky asked. 

“I know, it’s not that great of a name. But what we did made up for it.” I defended myself. 

Bucky placed his journal on the counter and shook off his jacket, placing it on the chair in front of him. He then sat on the couch next to me. 

“We?” 

Biting my lip, I gave him a small nod. In the last two years, we were so focused on getting him better and figuring out his past, that I hadn’t given him any details about mine. Since the night of his nightmare, we became incredibly close. We still haven't made ourselves official but we shared the bed each night, tangled in each other's arms, and soft kisses on forehead and hands were as far as it got. 

I never complained once. 

“Um, I used to be a part of the team. That’s how I met Steve actually. We first came together to help defeat the Chitauri; some alien species.” I started. 

“I remember reading about that a few months ago,” Bucky admitted. 

A few months ago he spent an entire weekend reading old news stories that he had missed out on. 

“Ever since that day, I had decided to stay on Steve’s team. Now, it seems like they’re still working together.” I said with a hint of jealousy. 

“Doing what?” Bucky asked, passing me a plum. 

Taking it with gratitude, I tried the best way to bring it up without triggering him. “Uh, I guess the last few months they’ve been taking down Hydra bases to find this special scepter and they nearly leveled Sokovia trying to stop this Ultron robot. 

Bucky was silent, body rigid when I had mentioned Hydra. “I thought Hydra fell?” 

“Apparently not,” I sighed. 

We sat in a tense silence and noticed that his shoulders were straight with rage with the thought of Hydra still being a functioning terrorist group. 

“Hey,” I spoke softly. “They won’t find you. It’s been almost two and a half years. We’re going to be fine.”

Bucky hesitated for a moment before nodding. “I, uh, added more to my journal.” 

“You did?” I smiled. 

“Those stories about the war in the 40’s helped me remember some stuff, not a lot though.” 

The disappointment in his voice broke my heart so I placed my head on his flesh shoulder, not daring to place it on the other. Every night when we would lay in bed together, I had refused to touch the scars on that shoulder. Bucky was still reserved and uncomfortable with it. 

“So,” I started, immediately wanting to change the subject. “Anything you want to do tomorrow?”

Bucky nodded and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. “Can we go to the fruit market? We’re out of plums.” 

“You and your plums,” I giggled while wrapping my arm around his midsection. “But anything for you, Buck.” 

“Thank you, dorogaya.” He breathed against my forehead. 

We both enjoyed this new normal for us, settling into this routine fairly early on while we were in hiding. But nothing would prepare us for what was about to happen tomorrow and how it would affect the rest of our lives.