#this one is a mess and so am i
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I am not a person!! I am a vessel for others enjoyment!!! It is why I scream and no one moves, it doesn't matter until I am useless to them. Then they come by the withering corpse to poke it until it dances to please them!!! I can't do it for myself I must do it for them, what other purpose is there? I can't live for myself, it is selfish. I am not made for love I am made to please, I was bred to please, I was taught to please.
Who cares for my tears and blood!! Watch them fall as I serve the king and their court! Limp bodies commit nothing and do no work, lift them up and force the spirit back. Work isn't done. I was born to please. Who am I if not the people's parade? Is eternal punishment the price of being alive? Will servitude make me redeemable enough for you?
Does my weeping entertain you enough? I've given everything to the stranger you think I should be, but I'll never be enough. I don't have enough to give. I can't make more. Please take my weak heart so I can't feel sorrow anymore, please take my broken mind so I can't think of violence anymore.
Will you forgive me.
I just want to be anything but a rabid dog. I need to be fixed, to be cured. Why do I bite if I was meant to serve?
#my rot#this one is a mess and so am i#this probably sounds different than most of my other ones#it is tbh#i feel i dont do things for me#i keep living for others#i only barely skate by because i fear disappointment so strongly#tw sui implied#tw sui ideation#Hearing the voices in my head again#and it is so loud#i want it to be quiet#it's like a thousand voices and a thousand drums at once#but...the pain calms it a little#I'm sorry for literally anyone that sees this#this one is rough#if it sounds like a madman raving. it kinda is#this is probably completely unintelligible#but that's just how i feel unfortunately#i think im only semi lucid rn#if i slip into psychosis again sometime after this. oops#tw self destruction#tw self destructive behavior#tw selfhate#tw self h4rm#poetry#poem#if i missed any tws im sorry. I'll add them if asked
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WE'RE SO BACK
#tim drake#nightwing#dick grayson#hey this took under 7 hours to do and that was so much faster than the last attempt. that other tim drake one with cleaner lines took me#days to finish and i was coloring it like that one white boy with pulsing veins on his forehead. i was watching one video about how the#thing stopping you from creating is being too obsessed with perfectionism and this is true. we must go forward. GO FORTH. CREATE.#EMBRACE FLAWS AND ACCEPT THAT SOMETIMES IT MAY LOOK ASS. I wouldve been happier with more frames between it but it is a sunday.#M-F employed people you know that means no staying up til 3 am doing little projects because it will mess u up so bad. finished before 12
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house md summary
#these all looked fine as I was drawing them but once I exported them it immediately got all messed up looking so WHATEVER#I’ve been wanting to redraw Dan hentschel thumbnails and there was only one man who shared his experiences#house md#medical malpractice#gregory house#dr house#dr gregory house#fanart#my art#not cartoon related but what else am I supposed to do with these
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Not beating the allegations.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#jiang cheng#su she#lan qiren#(I oscillated between writing a funny or a serious final comic for season 2 so hard I did both. Enjoy the funny bonus!)#Woah hey! Two characters we have not seen in a long time!#Su She hasn't been seen in 100 comics! Unfortunately LWJ has a taste for his blood. He has only moments left to live.#I honestly thought LQR died (adaption memory blur) and I did *not* expect him to show up here.#That said it does act as a way more personal blow to LWJ's reputation for LQR to be there.#By staying on WWX's side he's not only throwing his reputation to the wind but also facing familial judgment.#It hits so much harder when the choice isn't an easy one to make.#Choosing to stand at someone's side when they *have* actually messed up - when they do have faults and flaws - that's love.#Love is hard work! Love is not low maintenance and good days every day.#Love is being able to say 'I am choosing to bear your weight when things are heavy.' Love is doing that reciprocally.#Which is 100% a real life lesson I am passing on#And also a plea for why it is so important we give credit to WWX's atrocities.#He *did* do some of that shit. He isn't fully innocent and it gives LWJ's choice so much more weight.
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you ask sun what they think about valentine's day and they start ripping heads off of things rabid animal style (correct response)
#my art#dca fandom#daycare attendant#sundrop#sunnydrop#ft. an unfortunate plushie who i shall not be tagging#anyway i doodled a bunch of little references to things i liked after i added that signature. bonus points if you know them ♡#in terms of the Actual Main Drawing tho i just wanted a valentines themed drawing of the dca that was explicitly not romantic#to contrast the one i did last time lol#this was alsoooo an experiment with a new pen i made (its just an airbrush)#and alsooo an experiment with not shading something LOL#cuz coloring and shading gets soooo boring for me#i was also messing around with their face again ofc.. the rays specifically cuz i like this look!#the white outlines around everything were a super last minute impulsive thing but it makes everything look so nice ♡ yay!!#everything always works out for me because i am god's favorite! ♡
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The Wizard, The Witch, and The Wild One
#listened to 28 episodes of WBN in like 4 days and am going absolutely insane over these guys#I had so much fun messing with their shape language and colors omg#wbn#wbn pod#worlds beyond number#worlds beyond number fanart#fanart#the wizard the witch and the wild one#wbn www#my art#suvirin kedberiket#ame wbn#suvi wbn#eursulon#eursolon toma#eursulon wbn#I’m so sorry for these tags I have no idea how the fandom tags stuff
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it’s currently 2am where i am so technically 4th of april.. Happy 2 Years ISWM !!!!!!!
#it’s not the Smoothest running cycle by all means but!!!! wanted to do a little something to celebrate:>#i don’t think i was there to celebrate its first year so here i am not messing it up this time>:)#what is college hw when you want to make an hommage to one of the biggest person who’s inspired you overall amarite fellas?#thank you mark for all the great stuff you put… it pushes me to want to tell my stories too#:)#drawing#my art#digital art#markiplier#fanart#animation#wilford warfstache#wilford motherloving warfstache#murderiplier#actor mark#engineer mark#iswm#in space with markiplier
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24 hour time loops: not long enough to create or undo anything permanent, crazy-making but often still funny
365 day time loops: the most fucked up shit you could possibly imagine
#the lazarus project#every time I go to rewatch tlp I get stuck on ep 3 because. yeah. but I am pushing through!!!!#much like Janet did one could say (sorry)#disabling reblog because you guys are just independently arriving at ideas for messed up pregnancy scenarios#which is is what this post was originally about - because this post was about the lazarus project and this very thing just not as outright#and it's great to see people get so creative coming up with this stuff independently but also it's just unoriginal and therefore annoying#to me as the person whose notes are being flooded. love and light ❤️
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thinking about how dean's hair got darker and he got paler from skipping missions + how probably the most he smiled was when hank was telling him abt those
#vbros#the venture brothers#venture bros#dean venture#hank venture#byron orpheus#pete white#rusty venture#admin draws#fanart#the ones in the bottom are olllddd i was waiting to continue my rewatch and draw more and its been like a month since those#the other ones i just finished rn lol#shocked i havent drawn orpheus yet and he was a bit of a rough adn tumble but i got him quick enough#while listening to a video essay about buffy#ive been telling myself i need to draw 21 soon and im just as intimidated so . we'll see how i fare if i dare#squarish guys are hard for me to draw its why i dont draw brock alot lmao#FML I MESSED UP THE NAMES IN THE CAPTION. ITS 1 AM#if anyone sees that 1 rb that got in before i realized and fixed it. no you dont i mean didnt
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portrait practice
#was debating actually posting it but was convinced by my friends 🤷#drew it mostly to destress after finals#but yeah! should be back to posting more soon hopefully#anyways poet my beloved he’s such a mess#this content is catered maybe two people who will recognise where he’s from#if you’re one of them hiii i ily ��#(I am so normal about these comics and will not shut up about them to anyone who will listen in my near vicinity)#mgpd#чд#bubble comics#чумной доктор#поет#major grom#major grom plague doctor#plague doctor#майор гром#мгчд#fanart#digital art#my art
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Impulse, talking about Grian shaming them for playing Phasmophobia without him: 24 hours of gifs was like, h- how has he not run out of gifs yet! *laughing* That's what I kept thinking! How has he not run out of gifs to make us feel bad! He keeps finding 'em from the dark corners of the internet.
Skizz, with exactly the same tone for both sentences: Doesn't make me feel bad, I don't have a soul. Dude, I- Bro, I am having blueberries. They're the size of small apples.
#skizzleman#impulsesv#gigs phasmo#a quote#I am such a phasmo enjoyer. I have so many phasmo moments saved. probably not all of them will translate to quotes but still sjfdk#truly a banger intro from skizz#this is from the very beginning of impulse's phasmo stream 'catch us if you can!'#mod rhys#edit: impulse has two phasmo vods with this title sdjhfk#this is from the one from nov 16th 2023#I don't know if timezones will mess with that date a little but whichever is closer
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Prompt 106
Dan absolutely despised his parole at first, but honestly this is a blast. Sure, he’s stuck in the form of a cat, a kitten even, but he’d found an absolutely wonderful companion. Partner. Ally? Baby Chaos Lord? He’d work on it.
Klarion is just happy to have found such a great familiar, he even named them Teekl II, which is a great name thank you very much hero-babies! So now he has two Teekl familiars, and Teekl II always gets so gleeful whenever they successfully pull a prank! He even has his own fire magic which is so fun!
Danny is not happy to get thrown into another world, stuck as a kitten. He’s also not pleased to have found a sick baby liminal, but fine. If this is what he’s supposed to deal with then he’ll deal with it! Even if he has to be a familiar for a teeny tiny bit of time. It’s fine, and the dude has a pocket he can peek out of on his coat.
Jason has no idea where this kitten came from but the Pit is being surprisingly chill about it. Something about a baby? Whatever, he’s made the furball a little matching outfit and they like to sit in his pockets and peer out. No idea how Cat Hood is making the shadows all spooky now or why the eyes went from blue to green, but whatever.
Ellie is utterly delighted in this situation. She was just wandering, but now she’s a lil fluffy kitten, and ended up landing on this kid’s head. This magic kid’s head! He even has a talking tiger friend too! So cool! She’s definitely sticking with him! This will be so fun!
Billy was worried about making sure the kitten got food, she’s so tiny! Mr Tawny is a big help though, and apparently she’s his familiar now that he’s given her a mortal name? He doesn’t fully understand but apparently she’s connected to his magic now, if the shouts from the gods are anything to go by. Look, an electric cat is cool. Pakhet is amazing, and Fawcet thinks it’s adorable that Marvel has a kitten clinging to his shoulder
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#feline familiar au#Hilariously none of them know the other is in the world#Ellie was just wandering#Dan is on patrol#Danny was messing with portals#It'll be hilarious the first time all 3 meet and do the spiderman meme with their cats#Dan looks like a tabby cat but silver-blue#Ellie is a black tuxedo cat#Danny is black with a white head#they're all magic now#Dan: No I am not parenting this lil shit- shut up#Ellie: Haha magic lightning go brrr#Danny: He hasn't tried to murder me and made me a jacket so that's cool#Why yes they all Can go big if they want#Very Big in fact#So hopefully no one threatens their partners#They may be new to this whole familiar schtick but they'll be the best at it they swear#klarion#teekl#dan fenton#billy batson#captain marvel#ellie fenton#jason todd#red hood#danny fenton
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thank you pinterest for launching me into yet another multiple day drawing :3
I LOVE HIIIIMAKAMSMSBDIHSSKBSDFHKJABSFD we know this
but oh my god this took almost 7 hours overall LMAO im so tired but like in a good way
you may be looking at his hair and saying “heyyyy gravity doesnt work that way….” in which case you are correct but i thought it would be cool if BEN’s hair kinda floats when he gets all glitchy like how hair does when it’s in water :3 in my head this would also mean it would poof up a little when he gets mad like in a ghibli movie or a cat bc…. cmon that’d be so fun
also idk what his outfit is i just improvised it bc i didn’t wanna design bro a whole outfit LMAO i never know what to draw him wearing!!!!! smh smh.. it’s okay he’s serving
but anyway…….. im so proud of this and how i did the shading hehe :333 i love him i love him i love him im so tired i love him
ref for the pose after the break if anyone wants it :D

#did you guys know that i love him#art#small artist#digital art#artists on tumblr#my artwork#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta#creepypasta fanart#fanart#ben drowned#ben drowned fanart#behavioral event network#gay people can never enter a room normally#idk what the wires are there for i just thought it would be cool LMAO#plus adds some extra color >:3#i was supposed to finish this yesterday but didn’t hehe whoops#but its okay HE TURNED OUT GOOD ANYWAY RAHHHHHHH#i wanna like mess with his hair so i can watch it float around hehehehe#also introduction of his classic black and red eyes hehe#more like red and red actually LMAO but u get it#i mean he can do whatever he wants with his eyes i imagine#i just typically draw him with the red and white version bc that’s like… his default in my mind#i think ive yawned 20 times while making this post wow#its okay tho bc yk why….. :3#BC I LOVE HIIIIIIM AND I COOKED WITH THIS AND NOW i have another lovely drawing of my fav i can stare and smile at#need to draw him and slasher more inhad an idea for them earlier today….#yall ever watch donnie darko………. :3#also am i the only one as a kid that liked to lay like this on the couch so i could see the world upside down
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i promised to draw yuri sokeefe kiss back in like. november. so here it is 🙏🙏
250 notes and i draw fem!keefe after the fight w dimitar /hj
+bonus keefes outfit below the cut bc i think itrs rly cute but it got covered up by her hair 😫
ignore sophies ugly ass hand ❤️
@skylilac
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@moontoastt
@lemon-girl-in-devil-town
@three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat
@purpleunicycle
@just-a-honey-badger
@loverofallthingssmart
@antisocialdork
@tamsong
@cutebisexualmess
@tastetherainbow290
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@an-ungraceful-swan
#i lowk dont like this at all but. live laugh love#i am nothing if not a man of my word#like in general i prefer using brighter colors and. purple isnt one i use very often.#so the coloring kind of ended up being a mess.#its okay though. peace and love🙏#btw. if this gets enough notes i really will draw her after the dimmy fight.o7#kotlc#kotlc fanart#sokeefe#keefe sencen#sophie foster
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first 3 rug hooking things I did haha
#rug hooking#artists on tumblr#I still really like the swan one#was originally gonna be the gift one but I didn't like how the swan yarn was shiny#snail one was the what the fuck am I doing haha so loops are kinda all over hte place/uneven#star one was more relaxed/messing around with yarn#for the square diamond ones kinda wanna do more square ones and either connect them all#or just hang them on the wall next to each other so they look like one piece or something#fabrication#working on the sea otter one now#edit: oH also where I learned a bunch of stuff was from a youtube channel called ribbon candy hooking#videos are very informative and the lady is chill/has interesting comments
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ghost who was chemically castrated by roba and soap who wants to help him to regain his sexual autonomy
nsfw, angst, roba, unnegotiated unsafe but consensual gun play, hopeful ending
💀🧼
ghost walks like it hangs low.
there’s a tilt to his hips and a spread in his thighs and johnny’s never been able to stop staring.
and ghost’s never asked him to.
he knows he’s seen him; he’s not exactly discreet. he swears he’s even seen him cock his hips out before to give him a better view. but he always pulls back just as they toe the line; verbal cold water on the tentative heat they almost can’t help but spark when they’re together.
it’s never a no; johnny’s not so selfish of a cunt that he’d push when he knows he isn’t welcome. it’s always a reluctance; an “i wish i could,” never in so many words. an open ended “but…” as ghost circles the reason without ever actually saying it. johnny knows it’s something personal, something more than a difference in rank could ever excuse.
so he backs off when ghost does, jokes instead of flirts and holds his breath through the agonising wait until ghost lets him in close again. waits to know if he’ll let him close again.
it’s almost anticlimactic, the end of their dance; his delicate steps and looping logic to work out why bulldozed as ghost comes out and says one random night, “i can’t fuck.”
it’s not bitter. it doesn’t grate coming out of his throat; he doesn’t spit it like it’s something to be ashamed, not twisted with insecurity as if it’s an accusation by an ex.
it’s a statement of fact.
“you can’t fuck,” johnny echoes anyway because even if it is the reason, the big why… it still doesn’t really answer anything.
“i can’t get it up,” he elaborates, this horrid blankness in his eyes like he’s reading from a script. “whatever you’re looking for, whatever you want- i can’t give it to you.”
johnny just looks at him, the chill air prickling his skin. “right,” he nods calmly. “because my interest in you starts and ends with your dick.”
that blank calm shatters. “johnny…” he warns.
“do you really think i’m that shallow?” he cuts in, curing himself for the way his voice breaks but he never thought ghost would think so low of him; that this whole time, ghost’s thought that’s the only thing he wants from him. “like i’d take you for a ride ‘n just drop you?”
“there’s a difference between not gettin’ it for one night and never gettin’ it at all,” ghost growls, turning his back on him to lean against the edge of the roof. his shoulders heave and the anger seeps from him in one long breath. “it’s not a hitch, johnny. not a performance issue or ptsd or whatever the fuck you’re thinkin’. it’s permanent. irreversible.”
irreversible.
johnny stops, cold creeping up his limbs and dousing his defensive anger. ghost is many things and when it comes to his words, chief amongst them all is deliberate. he didn’t say it’s unfixable. incurable.
irreversible.
johnny buries his selfish hurt and scuffs his boots, an unobtrusive warning of movement, and comes up beside him; just enough distance between them to catch their breaths. he leans back against the ledge and looks over the opposite side of the roof at the dark sky.
“mexico,” he murmurs. not an accusation. not even really a question but ghost collapses in on himself anyway; sinking into his crossed arms digging into the ledge.
“mexico,” he agrees just as quietly. “‘pparently, roba found it more entertaining to let me keep it but- cut the cords. more demeaning that way; cock’s gone, at least you don’t feel the urge. don’t have to look at the fuckin’ thing hang there when nothin’ fuckin’ works.
“it’s not ‘bout how i see you, johnny,” ghost promises and it’s almost apologetic. “but you like sex. eventually, you’ll want it. and i can’t give it to you. easier to just… not let it get to that point.”
johnny’s jaw flexes. everything in him wants to reject it, wants to protest that something as trivial as an orgasm is more important to him than ghost.
but he also knows words are useless here.
they stand there looking out into the gathering dark, tense silence hanging between them, and the only thing johnny knows is if he isn’t careful, he could lose the one person he cares about most.
💀🧼
ghost’s been uneasy since his abrupt confession.
he knows it was sudden, borderline cruel to dump his shit on johnny with no warning but he just couldn’t take it anymore; couldn’t take the back and forth when he knew it would never go anywhere, couldn’t take johnny’s hope when he knew he’d have to watch it twist into disgust and pity.
into disappointment.
he figures that’s the end of it; there’ll be no more flirting now, no more staring or heated looks, no more teasing him by spreading his knees out just to see the flash of hunger in his eyes. the control he felt playing with johnny knowing it was welcome, just because he could- he’ll never feel that again. not now that johnny knows the truth.
then he steps into his room to find johnny laying naked on his bed.
he’s not spread out like an offering, not throwing him some cheap sultry glance as he plays with himself. he’s not even hard; his cock limp over the cradle of his balls, his legs bent loosely together, arms under his head as if he’s settling down for the night.
ghost sighs and shuts the door behind him. “johnny…”
“i know,” johnny says and it’s gentle; not cutting him off, just getting his attention. “just… hear me out?”
there’s nothing else to say. there’s nothing johnny can say or do to fix his violated body. but ghost still crosses his arms and leans back against the door like he can anyway.
johnny pushes himself up and off the bed, closing the distance between them but still giving him enough space to breathe; to open the door behind him, to escape.
“i can never know what was taken from you,” he starts and ghost’s fingers dig into his arms. “i can never know what it means to you. and i can never get it back.”
he doesn’t break eye contact and slowly lowers himself to his knees. “but i can give you something else.”
“you?” ghost guesses flatly and as much as it warms his blood, as much as he’s imagined having johnny look up at him just like this… it’s still not enough to offset the sickening swoop in his gut when his cock doesn’t so much as twitch.
“i’m a nice bonus,” johnny purrs but his smile remains gentle. “but i’m not the main event.”
he lifts a hand and ghost readies to smack it away when he reaches for his thigh holster instead of his belt. he flicks the closing strap open and pulls his handgun, his favourite, free.
“you told me you can’t fuck,” he murmurs, popping out the clip. he taps it against the side and loads it back in with a practiced hit with the butt of his palm. “but fucking isn’t all there is.”
“johnny, what…” ghost starts just to cut himself off as johnny thumbs off the safety and loads a round into the chamber.
“you trust me?” johnny asks and it’s as loaded as the gun in his hand.
good then, that ghost knows the answer. “always have.”
johnny’s smile blooms with warmth, with pride, and it chases away any reluctance he could possibly feel. he lets him take his hands in his, wrapping them around the gun with his finger on the trigger guard. he brings the barrel up beside his temple, holding it steady before his hands fall away.
until it’s only ghost between him and a bullet.
johnny’s hands go to his belt, his movements slow enough for ghost to stop him long before he reaches his cock, forever hanging limp in his pants. but he just rubs the muzzle along his temple, almost nuzzling him with the gun as he pulls down his jeans and boxers.
he waits for johnny to take him in hand, maybe try and pantomime a handy, and his hips almost recoil at the thought.
but he doesn’t try to touch him.
instead, he takes his wrist and guides the gun to sit in front of his cock; angling it to follow the same slight curve he has then holds his hands behind his back like he’s standing at attention. he splays his knees wide, sinking deeper and ghost sucks in a harsh breath as johnny ducks under the gun; his eyes locked on his as he curls his tongue under the barrel and brings it into his mouth.
it takes every ounce of will he has to not let his hand shake around the gun as johnny gives it the slowest, messiest blowjob he’s ever seen; slowly rising higher on his knees, guiding the gun up with him as if it’s his cock hardening. his cheeks hollow as he sucks, tongue laving up the barrel and flicking out to play with the muzzle like a cockhead, moaning with every bob of his head until saliva drips off the metal and makes a mess of his chin.
ghost’s never felt so powerful as he does watching johnny hang off the end of his gun; watching his cock harden and drool between his legs without a single touch, knowing he could pull the trigger at any time and johnny would not only let him but he’d thank him.
the thought breaks him from his paralysis, drawing the gun from his lips and johnny immediately stills; rolling his wide eyes up like he’s trying to check on him. ghost pushes every ounce of heat into his gaze and cocks the gun to the side, slowly pushing it back in until johnny’s lips meet the trigger guard.
johnny whines as he fucks his mouth, thrusting his hips along with each long drag like the gun is an extension of his body; almost too rough as tears prick his eyes and his lips redden and bruise but he never asks him to stop; his cock leaking a puddle on the floor beneath him.
“you gonna cum for me, johnny?” ghost croons, holding back a groan when just his voice is enough to make him shiver. “gonna cum with my fucking gun down your throat?”
he gives a broken whimper, as close to an agreement as he can make, and ghost crowds in close. he grips the base of his mohawk, wrenching his head back until his throat is flush to the front of his thigh. johnny lets out a choked cry, eyes rolling back and he doesn’t hold back as he brutally fucks his face; feeling the bulge of his gun in his throat against his leg.
“come on, johnny; you wanna be my good little holster?” he growls and makes sure he’s watching as his finger moves from the guard to the trigger. “then take my fucking load.”
he forces the gun as deep as he can and johnny gags, his shaking body locking up as he cums untouched; painting the floor and ghost’s boot, cock twitching and pulsing hard enough to bump against his belly and leave a string of cum threading from it to his cock.
ghost watches him spasm and moan, his throat convulsing around the gun and a heated knot of satisfaction tightens in his gut; so close to the memory of an orgasm, he’s almost dizzy with it.
johnny slumps forward, his hands slipping from behind his back, and ghost quickly flicks the safety back on and drops to his knees. he slides the gun away and pulls johnny forward to collapse into his chest, taking his weight off his knees; his whole body trembling with aftershocks.
“you’re crazy, johnny,” ghost whispers, awed, and feels him smile against his chest.
“aye,” he agrees, voice raspy from his gun scraping up his throat. “how else am i supposed to prove that i mean it?”
ghost tries not to tense up; tries not to let hope sink its cruel roots into his chest. “mean it?”
johnny pulls back, his cheeks still flushed and sticky with spilled tears. “i’m yours, ghost; in any and every way you’ll have me,” he promises. “sex or no sex. this can never happen again and i’ll still never stop wanting you. it doesn’t matter to me as much as you do. you’re everythin’ to me, ghost. not your body; not what you can give me. just you.”
a knot crowds in his throat. “and you needed to deep throat my pistol to prove that?” he deflects.
and just like always, johnny lets him. “worked, didn’t it?” he winks. “you fucked my brains out.”
ghost rolls his eyes to hide the softness he knows is flooding them and helps johnny up and gets him into his shower; cleaning him of the sweat and cum and spit covering his body.
that ghost covered his body in.
his chest hitches at the reminder as he strips himself down to a single layer and all but falls into bed, tugging johnny in after him when he hesitates just slightly at the edge of the bed; splaying his still naked body over him, sated and loose.
“i really do mean it,” johnny whispers into the crook of his neck sometime later; when their breaths have settled and synced.
ghost sweeps his fingers up and down the length of his spine, skin he’s never seen. skin he now knows every inch of. “i know you do,” he whispers back.
and for once, he thinks it might be enough.
#hello i am once again thinking about erectile dysfunction#as i am wont to do#and how such a major loss of identity and control can seriously mess you up#thats very much the theme of this one#as much as its obviously about gunplay and how hot that is its also about regaining that control over yourself#ghost was imasculated and violated#its not really about sex and soap knows that; its about retaking what was stolen from him#the power that ghost feels is hugely important to his journey to healing#and they almost definitely arent going about it the best way but hey if it works it works#also just a little thing#but both of them nonverbally setting the boundary of soaps hands being behind his back meaning the scene is going actually makes me melt#the second soaps hands come forward not only do they both take it as the end of the scene but ghost takes it as soap not being present#enough to continue#hes slipped deep enough into subspace or hes exhausted enough that he cant hold position which means the scene is over#i love them so goddamn much#anyway i have a lot of issues with control being taken for me and why else does ghost exist if not for me to project my issues onto him!#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghoap#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#soap cod#john soap mactavish#cod mw2#cod fic
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