#i feel i dont do things for me

[moonsickwolf]

I am not a person!! I am a vessel for others enjoyment!!! It is why I scream and no one moves, it doesn't matter until I am useless to them. Then they come by the withering corpse to poke it until it dances to please them!!! I can't do it for myself I must do it for them, what other purpose is there? I can't live for myself, it is selfish. I am not made for love I am made to please, I was bred to please, I was taught to please.

Who cares for my tears and blood!! Watch them fall as I serve the king and their court! Limp bodies commit nothing and do no work, lift them up and force the spirit back. Work isn't done. I was born to please. Who am I if not the people's parade? Is eternal punishment the price of being alive? Will servitude make me redeemable enough for you?

Does my weeping entertain you enough? I've given everything to the stranger you think I should be, but I'll never be enough. I don't have enough to give. I can't make more. Please take my weak heart so I can't feel sorrow anymore, please take my broken mind so I can't think of violence anymore.

Will you forgive me.

I just want to be anything but a rabid dog. I need to be fixed, to be cured. Why do I bite if I was meant to serve?